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agirlunderarock · 1 year

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Let Her Sleep

Summary: Obi-Wan isn't really a morning person, but a good cup of caff can fix that. He's not sure he can say the same for Sas though

Pairing: Obi-Wan X OC Sas Vom (pre relationship)

Warnings: None, unless you count the little bit of angst that gets sprinkled in everything

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A/N: This fic was inspired by an art I commissioned from @inky-axolotl I literally couldn't get over how soft this whole piece was and I wanted to write something soft with it. Just the look on his face gets me every time! Thank you for art friend, and to anyone reading I hope you enjoy!

Resisting the urge to rub the sleep from his eyes was proving to be easier said than done to the exhausted Jedi General standing at the little caff maker. Yes Obi-Wan knew he could run down to the dining halls to grab a cup that was already made, but that require actually having to walk across the temple and back to this little meeting room. Lucky for him, this wasn't a major council meeting or a briefing he was up early for. Actually, he had told the person who planned this report review session that it could be pushed back in the day, that they didn’t need to be up so early.

Obi-Wan slowly raked his fingers through his hair, combing out the last bit of sleep from his body in the process. Nearly a year into the war and Sas still insisted on doing these reviews early in the morning. Truly he didn't mind it, and she was almost always on time, but it was a tedious task to wake up to. Yes, it gave him more time in the day to get to the plethora of other tasks that popped up throughout the day, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a more opportune time to do this, a time when it was less likely his review partner wouldn’t fall asleep. Of course this wasn't just a year into the war, this was a year working with Sas, and by now Obi-Wan had learned that she wasn't much of an early bird, but he also knew she had her reasons for constantly being up so late into the night.

Despite Obi-Wan’s best efforts to give Sas a way to provide for her people that didn’t involve pirating Republic or Separatist supply ships, there were still many nights she was up coordinating supply runs, funds she had sent and other movements with her family back on Zolan. It wasn’t uncommon for her to sit on the floor of his room, comlink in one hand, data pad in the other while she spoke to her cousin or her mother trying to figure out the best way to ration what little she was able to send. Obi-Wan always had the feeling that she cut her calls short when she was with him, not necessarily to hide anything from him, but rather to keep her family from asking about him. On more than one occasion Obi-Wan was dragged into the conversation by Sas’ mother or cousin demanding a hello and any news Sas had ‘purposely’ left out.

The loud hiss and gurgle of the caff machine boiling the water pulled Obi-Wan away from the fond thoughts.

“A bit early to get into it with the caff maker, isn’t it?” a woman’s voice teased, making the jedi look up from where he leaned against the counter.

“About as appropriate timing as losing a fight with a make-up brush,” Obi-Wan countered, as he watched Sas take a seat at the small table. While he had seen her with varying degrees of dirt, grime, oil and sometimes blood mixed and smeared across her face while out in the field, all of which brought stirred their own mix of emotions in him, it was the yellow blotches of paint hastily smeared over her cheeks that oddly brought Obi-Wan a sense of normalcy. The meticulous tattoos Sas usually painted on were nothing but big petal shaped smudges on her cheeks today. Her braid had strands of her dark hair slipping out and standing at odd ends. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had slept in it and forgot to redo it. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen her so disheveled, and though he was worried about what had likely kept her up so late, he knew better than to ask about it so soon.

“How are you always so chipper this early?”

“You’re the one who wanted to do this in the morning. I did remind you that we can do this in the afternoon.”

“That didn’t answer the question Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan didn’t bother trying to fight the grin from spreading across his face. “I’m merely pointing out the facts of the situation, My Dear,” he teased. The caff pot was nearly full now, but not even the warm aroma could keep the pout off her lips. "I don’t see a reason why I shouldn't be in a pleasant mood. Your beautiful face is the first I've seen today."

If Sas was amused by his comment and wink, she didn't show it, but she also didn't give any sign of discomfort. Obi-Wan knew she had no qualms showing what she was thinking, but when she wanted to keep something to herself, she was the master of physically masking what she was thinking. Sas propped her elbow on the table, put her head in her hand and tapped her cheek before finally the corners of her lips pulled up in a small smile. While outwardly Sas was doing a commendable job of keeping her composure, Obi-Wan could feel the wave of emotions roll off her in full force. Amusement and bewilderment all tangled together with shreds of hope, longing, endearment and indignation. It was enough to make Obi-Wan chuckle out loud before pouring himself a cup of caff. Then there was something else that rose and smothered the colorful waves radiating from Sas, doubt. In almost the same way Obi-Wan could sense when any Jedi other than Anakin attempted to dismiss any surge of strong emotions, he could feel Sas’ doubt about some unknown thing attempting to snuff out some spark of hope she had simmering under the surface.

He raised a brow curiously but he wouldn’t ask what she was thinking. Not yet anyway. “Well, why do you always want to go over the reports in the morning?” He asked instead.

Sas’ grin grew and a new feeling bubbled up under the doubt. “I don’t know, maybe I just wanna see your Pretty Boy face first thing in the morning,” she teased back.

“That is a very good reason to want to be up so early,” he agreed, shooting her another little grin over his shoulder before pouring a mug for her as well. He could hear her dissatisfied huff, clearly not getting the response she was hoping for as he added creamer to her caff. Again he felt the flurry of emotions erupt from her only to be smothered by doubt again. He tried to let it go, but this was something he was starting to realize she was doing more and more frequently. Now was not the time to press her about that he decided as he placed her caff in front of her. Caff first or else nothing would get done. “Extra creamer right?”

“Hmm?” Sas' brown eyes were still a little foggy with sleep as she looked up from her data pad. “Oh, thank you," all teasing quickly forgotten or forgiven.

Obi-Wan took his seat and booted up his data pad. While the familiar blue loading screen took its time, he wrapped his hands around his drink and let its warmth seep into his hands. He closed his eyes for a moment imagining that warmth traveling up his fingertips through his hands, deep into his wary muscles. Even if the sun was only just grazing the tops of the Coruscant’s highrises, the Jedi Master felt relaxed. He didn’t have to imagine that warmth for too long. Slowly he felt the same warmth radiating next to him, from Sas. When he opened his eyes, he found her sitting in almost the same way he was, with her hands wrapped around her cup, but she held it up under her chin, letting the steam curl up around her face. For as much as Obi-Wan teased her and tried to get Sas to pick a different time of the day to do these readings, he found himself always giving in to the morning hours. Though he never fully voiced it, Obi-Wan loved sharing these quiet moments with Sas, and knowing she looked forward to them too. He was more than happy to bask in her warmth.

“You wanna start with the Geonosis report, I’ll sift through the Ryloth ones,” Sas offered, redirecting Obi-Wan’s attention back to his data pad.

“That sounds good, Darling," he agreed as he pulled up the files. Again he felt the little burst of emotions, and as much as he wanted to look over at her to see her reaction, but knew he'd just find her leaned over her data pad doing her best to focus on finding her file. Obi-Wan knew why she would opt for him to take the Geonosis reports. She had been present for both battles on the desert planet, each one leaving her with scars. He himself still had struggled to focus after those battles, but he supposed he was more practiced at letting those feelings of fear and anxiety go. His position as General demanded he be able to let go, but Obi-Wan also recognized that he wasn’t the one who was nearly dragged into the catacombs by undead Geonocians. After several nights of her falling asleep in his room, he also knew she still had night terrors about their exploits in the cavern among the other things they had seen in battle. If taking over the Geonosis reports made her emotional burden any lighter, he was happy to bear it for her.

A rare stretch of silence fell over them, at least as silent as the Jedi Temple allowed for. The drip of the coffee pot and the hum of the never ending Coruscant traffic settled between them as they continued to read. Obi-Wan didn’t mind the silence. Despite reading about the precautionary measures the clones had taken to keep away the parasitic worms on Geonosis, Obi-Wan didn’t feel any kind of weight in the silence. Sas had a way of just bringing him peace and focus, just by being around him. He didn’t really have words to explain it, but then again, he had never really tried to, the only thing that he knew was that he found something reassuring in knowing Sas was by his side no matter what this war threw at him.

He came to a good pausing point in his report, and took a drink of his caff only to find his mug significantly less full than he thought it would be. He sighed before taking one final drink, and turned to ask Sas if she wanted a refill as well. However, he found himself smiling the moment he saw her.

Sunlight beamed through the windows, making her dark hair shine black, brown, and almost even blue. It spilled over her shoulder, most of it having fallen out of her braid, and around her face. Despite her sitting position, it was obvious she had fallen asleep while reading her report. Her face was still in her hand, but Obi-Wan could hear her soft snores if he listened very carefully. He wished he could say she looked peaceful in her sleep, but knowing Sas, she probably didn’t even realize she had fallen asleep and was dreaming about reading the report. He watched as her brows knit together, and relaxed, apparently reading something that troubled her in her dream. Obi-Wan had the sudden urge to move her hair from her face, as if that would help her sleep. It wouldn’t, but he couldn’t deny that wanted to help her relax, remove the worry from her face. Truthfully, he had been too honest in his teasing when she first arrived. She was beautiful, and he looked forward to spending time with her, but he couldn’t let that happen at the expense of her well being or their work.

He knew he should wake her, not to finish her work, but to go to his room and get some more sleep there, it was closer than her going back to her ship, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. For just a moment he considered letting her stay there asleep, letting her stay relaxed next to him, but he knew her well enough that she would be upset with herself if she fell asleep at the table. It didn’t matter if she really needed the rest, it was going to bother her if she slept through this time. He’d prefer she were comfortable, and even if she’d argue with him about it, he would do his best to make sure she caught up on her rest. He knew she she stretched herself thin.

“Sas,” Obi-Wan said softly, “Sas, wake up.” He put a hand on her shoulder and nudged her a few times hoping he didn’t startle her. “Sas-”

“I’m up!” she exclaimed sitting up. “I’m awake-” She repeated as if that would somehow make it true.

“Well now you are.”

“I was, I was reading the Ryloth report,” she protested. “Cham has been working well with Captain Howzer, but they’re short on bacta…um.” Her brows furrowed together like she was trying to remember the rest of what she had read.

“But you didn’t make it through the rest?” Obi-Wan was doing his best to sound like he wasn’t teasing her, but the glare and the pout she gave were evidence enough to say he failed.

Sas put her face in her hands in an attempt to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Guess not-” she stopped with her palms over her eyes, and let out an exasperated groan. Once she moved her hands away from her face Obi-Wan could see what had upset her. Bright yellow stains covered her green palms, and streaked up and down her face. She clenched her hands, unable or not wanting to say anything, Obi-Wan couldn’t tell for sure. He just felt the pulsing embarrassment and frustration trying to pull her under.

Again an urge Obi-Wan didn’t often have came over him. For just a brief moment he could see himself pulling her into his arms with a quiet chuckle, even kissing her head, before helping her clean the paint from her face. Calling these urges “intrusive thoughts” felt wrong, but he also felt that he shouldn’t be having such wants. He reminded himself that they were friends, and seeing her in distress, just meant that he wanted to comfort her. His hand was still on her shoulder, so he rubbed what he hoped would be soothing circles across her back.

“Sas-”

Before Obi-Wan could finish, she slumped over in her chair and put her head against his chest. He tensed for just a moment, before continuing to rub her back. She didn’t say anything, but she let out a sigh when he shifted to be a little closer so she wouldn’t risk falling out of her chair.

“I’m sorry I just need this-” She said, her voice sounding small.

“I know, it's okay, I’ll be here.”

They stayed like that for a minute or two, until Obi-Wan was worried that she was going to fall asleep that way. He truly didn’t mind if she fell asleep on him, but he was worried about her waking up with a sore back from the way she was slouched. He took a deep breath and gently combed some of her hair back behind her ear.

“Sas, do you want to go lay down in my room? You’re clearly exhausted,” he asked quietly. If she had fallen asleep he considered just carrying her, but he wanted to be sure first.

“Yeah, I do. Thanks Obi-Wan,” she answered in that same tone.

This was a rare occurrence. The Jedi Master had been prepared for her to protest and argue and even call up her sister if need be, but there was none of that in her today.

Keeping one hand on her back, Obi-Wan gathered up their data pads with his free hand and made them in a neat stack to carry. He was about to ask Sas if she wanted another cup of caff before they went, but as she stood up she picked up both mugs and put hers in the wash. He hadn’t even had a chance to see her pour him another cup before he saw her do just that.

“Here I can take the data pads,” she said, trading him for both data pads, and giving him the warm mug before walking out the door and into the hall.

Silence once again settled over them as they walked together. By now, the rest of the temple was slowly starting to wake up. More Jedi were walking the halls, making their way to the dining hall or wherever their morning duties had them. He had no doubts that soon, the laughter and chatter of the younglings would echo through the halls as they left for their lessons.

“Is it okay if I ask what kept you up so late? Did something happen with your family?” Obi-Wan asked once his door came into sight. He couldn’t be sure what she would say, but he knew she didn’t like talking about her family so openly, and hoped that she would feel better about it behind closed doors.

“No, no as far as I know, everyone is fine,” Sas started and pursed her lips as she walked through the door. “I- I was actually talking with Satine.”

Obi-Wan felt his body tense at the mention of the Duchess’ name. He didn’t know the two women were still in contact, and he knew that they didn’t have to tell him that, but he didn’t like the knot that formed in his stomach at the thought of them talking. He told himself that it had nothing to do with the complicated web of emotions he once felt for Satine, nor the web being woven with Sas at the center. It didn’t have to do with his feelings, rather he clearly remembered the way both women argued with each other. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until he slowly released it when his door closed behind him.

He had to focus on the now. Right now, Obi-Wan needed to get Sas a wet cloth to clean her face and hands. She had been over enough times, that he shouldn’t have been surprised to see her sitting on the floor and yet he couldn’t help but make a face as he folded the cloth. “As always you are welcome to the bed, Sas,” he said, handing her the cloth. For a moment she sat in silence just scrubbing the yellow face paint from her hands and then her face.

“Did you reach out to her, or did she contact you?” He asked, taking a seat at his desk. He really didn’t want to get into this conversation, but he knew he had to. Otherwise they likely wouldn’t only have to worry about Sas falling asleep while reading battle reports.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything-” she said, after getting up to put the cloth away. This time she sat on his bed, her face the radiant emerald green he so rarely saw unpainted.

“No, Darling, you don’t need to apologize, I just want to know if theres anything I can do to help. I just need to know if I’m helping you or if I’m helping the Duchess.” Obi-Wan held his mug a little closer to himself, the comfort it had brought him moments before, vanished like the wisp of steam curling off the hot liquid.

Sas took a deep breath and kicked off her boots. Her brown eyes still looked a little foggy and distant, but still she searched his face for some kind of reaction. Whether or not she found what she was looking for Obi-Wan really couldn’t say. “She reached out to me,” Sas said at last. “Remember when I connected her with some smugglers to transport food and supplies for Sindari?”

Obi-Wan had heard vaguely about the incidents leading up to that arrangement. Since Satine had made her neutrality in war final, many of the planets that declared for one side or the other in the war were refusing to do trade with Mandalore anymore. He knew that Sas had made some connections for the Duchess, but he had no idea that she was still actively coordinating supply drops for her.

Sas shifted so that she was sitting cross legged on the bed and put her elbows on her knees. “She’s having some problems with their deliveries,” Sas continued. “She was asking me if I knew any other “reputable” smugglers who would be willing to do runs for her on Mandalore, but I don’t think she really didn’t like what I had to say-”

“Sas, what did you say?” Vivid memories of Satine’s and Sas' political arguments flooded the Jedi’s thoughts. He desperately hoped he wouldn’t need to do damage control for either of them.

“I told her the truth. I’ve been pulling my own resources and connections away from my people to help her, and my guys are being spread thin. Mandalore and Zolan are both on the Midrim but going back and forth, sometimes through war zones, is putting stress on my runners. It's putting strain on my suppliers too- I can’t push anyone more than I already have.” Sas put her face in her hands again, only to pop up quickly check her hands, relax and hide her face again. “She asked how much the GAR was paying me, and asked if I would work for her full time- I said no of course, we’d probably end up killing each other. I just, I don’t know what else to do.”

Now it was Obi-Wan’s turn to keep his true thoughts and feelings hidden. The whole situation made his stomach flutter in the worst of ways. He appreciated that Sas wanted to keep him out of it, but this was something he probably should be made aware of. Not just him, but the council as well since the senate was failing yet another planet. “Is this something you want me to solve, or you just need me to listen?” he asked, knowing that either way, he would need to speak to Satine. Her answer would tell him how discrete he needed to be about it.

“I don’t think you can solve it Pretty Boy,” she said, picking her head up the tired smile on her lips letting him know the sentiment was appreciated. She leaned over and grabbed his pillow before hugging it to herself.

“Well no, not all of it, but just because you think you’re everyone’s personal hero, doesn’t mean you can solve it all either.” He put up a hand defensively seeing how she seemed ready to throw the pillow at him. “What I mean, Sas, is that you’re one person. You’re one person trying to help your planet, you’re fighting a war for the Republic, and trying to help a political leader solve her problems- you’re going to burn yourself out.”

“I’ll be fine-”

“Even suns burn out eventually. Sas, I don’t want that for you.”

He watched as her brows furrowed again and she retreated into herself a little,so that only her face from her eyes up could be seen behind the pillow. That was probably the most open she’d let herself be about the situation, but still the waves of confusion were very clearly there. “I have the ability to help. I can’t just do nothing.” She sounded so defeated, Obi-Wan almost wished he hadn’t brought it up if only to spare her from the anguish that washed over her. He could feel her slipping more into confusion and frustration.

“You’ve done more than anyone has any right to ask of you.” Obi-Wan felt himself wince. He had asked her to join the GAR, and he dragged her into this war. He was the last person who should be giving her this talk. He asked so much of her and he absolutely had no right to.

“And yet it feels like I’m still not doing enough. Nothing changes. I’m not enough, and things are just getting worse no matter what we do.”

Her words cut deeper than she probably realized. How many times had he lay awake thinking those same things, and she was always so quick to defend him, defend the jedi and their sacrifices. He would have thought she could see that in herself and her work, but she was just as overwhelmed if not more so. He moved to kneel down in front of her.

“Sas, Mandalore is not your responsibility.” Obi-Wan said firmly and took on of her hands in his own.

“But-”

“Sas, I know you feel obligated. I know.” He said but looked away from her trying to figure out what to say. For the moment he just squeezed her hand, trying to get her to focus on that, and the reality they faced. “You’ve told me before, Darling, I have a habit of believing I am responsible for fixing everything.” This was something he felt often, after the first battle of Geonosis. She had helped to remind him otherwise and often still did. “Have you considered that you do the same thing? That you need to hear this as well.”

Sas just clenched her jaw and looked away from him, but gave his hand a small squeeze in return. “Its different for me.”

“Perhaps it is. Obi-Wan started. “You’ve been doing your work for Zolan long before the war started. You agreed to work with me to continue that work, without having to pirate or smuggle as much.”

She only gave a small nod in answer, but finally turned to look back at him.

“You have family and friends, and so many to help you with your work. Satine has her own staff helping her. She is the Duchess for a reason, and has others working with her who should be able to do what you’ve done. We have to hope there are some competent leaders right? She has what she needs to govern her people, she’s led them through dire situations before. You have done enough.”

Obi-Wan was well aware that Sas didn’t look away from him while he spoke. He wasn’t sure if anything he said would really hit its mark. He felt like a hypocrite, in that he didn’t offer her the same out from serving in the GAR. He wouldn’t argue if she wanted out though, he would try to send her with whatever she needed to continue her work. He knew other planets were being neglected by the Senate’s war, he understood that Sas wanted to do her best to keep helping Satine from falling to the wayside the way her own planet had before the war had even begun.

“Maybe its something I need to sleep on,” Sas said after a few moments. “To figure out the best way to break the news to her.”

“I think that might be for the best,” Obi-Wan agreed. He could tell that she was still troubled and likely still wouldn’t sleep well. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, and resisted the sudden urge to kiss her fingers. As much as he wanted to do that, to show her how much he appreciated her, he knew that wouldn’t exactly help her situation. “Get some rest, Hero,” he said standing up, only for her to squeeze his hand when he started to pull away. His brows pulled together, worried that there was something else.

“You’re not going back to sleep?” she asked.

“I’m afraid I made the caff a little stronger than normal. I don’t think I could if I tried,” he answered with a small smile. “If you scoot over, I’ll sit with you while I finish reading.”

She let go of his hand then and moved to the side of his bed closest to the wall, and shrugged out of her jacket before making herself comfortable under his blankets. Obi-Wan gave a small shake of his head as he grabbed his data pad and set his caff on his chair next to the bed. Sitting down with his back against the headboard Obi-Wan made himself comfortable and looked over at Sas who’s eyelids were already heavy with sleep.

“Get some rest, Sas,” he said quietly, and let her take his free hand again. “I’ll be here when you wake up."

I hope you enjoyed! As always likes comments and rebloggs are appreciated

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