#insane and ive been really suicidal lately with no will to live and feeling increasingly alone so thats

[moss-sprouted]

just, gonna vent in the tags a bit

#just sitting here depressed and triggered and totally alone and not knowing how to appropriately talk about it because #my rsd has been So Bad lately and everytime i say even a word im worried im being annoying or ive been venting too much and i dont know how #to do anything about it except vague on here cause that was my coping mechanism for years and its easier than being direct about how im #feeling and i could vent but ive been venting so much and i dont even have any friends to go to besides partners and it makes me feel like #a burden and i think my bpd symptoms are just getting so bad im feel like im suffocating #and i got triggered really bad thinking about my abuser and my trauma and being groomed and all that good stuff and i feel like im going #insane and ive been really suicidal lately with no will to live and feeling increasingly alone so thats #just fun and i feel stupid even talking about it here but at least its not an emotional burden on anyone #and im so alone and no ones really around and i just want to feel wanted and i know i Am but its scary cause its not enouggh and i feel #like this and i feel stupid #and i keep thinking about my trauma and time doesnt feel real and i feel really dissociated and not like im #im even here right now and i just #im struggling #im struggling so much and i dont know what to do because im a bad person and im scared