No, lo que siento por ti no es mucho, es demasiado, demasiado al punto que no puedo dormir, demasiado al punto que muero de nervios, demasiado al punto que no puedo evitar apretar los dientes cuando te toco porque me dan ganas de abrazarte con mucha fuerza, demasiado al punto que tengo un miedo inmenso de perderte, demasiado al punto en que estoy enfrentando mis miedos por ti.
Así que no, no puedo decirte que te quiero mucho, porque mucho es poco comparado a cómo me siento.
I thought I loved you. It was dangerous. I was intimidated how severely you controlled my mind. I was willing to do anything to please you. To give up my freedom, my studies, my family, my friends, my foundation just to spend time with you. I'd stare at my phone with anxiety crawling up my skin, wondering if you were ignoring me on purpose. You always did it intently. It would drive me mad. I'd be so hurt and pissed knowing you'd read my messages but would never care to reply. I would never understand why I would reply to you in milliseconds when you'd make me wait for hours. Why I'd hurt after hurting you as a form of reactive abuse. I always wanted to soothe your pain, to ease your suffering, to make you feel loved because I saw past your facade. I knew how you'd be the cool guy, the life of the party, the social butterfly who could charm anyone. But I wanted to be the special one who'd lock eyes with you and make you mine. I never felt like I deserved you. I put you on a pedestal and worshipped you like God. I always felt like you were everything that was considered "cool" by the society. People would admire you. They would give in. I did too. You could draw in anyone you liked. You had the game. You could lay eyes on anyone and have them by sweet talking them into your trap. I knew you were playing me. My intuition tried to warn me several times. The red flags seemed dangerous every now and then but being the reckless lover that I am, I thought you'd be the right person to break my heart. Maybe, I expected too much from you. I wanted you to fill the voids I had. I wanted to be consumed by your love. I needed your attention constantly. I wanted to talk to you 24*7 although I never really had much to talk about. I was boring as hell but you, there would always be messages lined up for you. I felt privileged and honoured to receive a reply from you. It validated me. I felt seen. And heard. And appreciated. It was the best feeling ever. I had only been abandoned, discarded and used all my life. Being validated felt magical for a change. It made me want to surrender my life to you. I started living as per your terms. I'd do little things you'd mention in conversations to become your ideal lover in hopes of being noticed by you. But time and again, you'd fail to notice me. As if I was never there. But I was. I was always there for you. Through thick and thin. Right before your eyes.
i feel like such a disgusting embarrassment. i hate having bpd and immediately feeling emotions for someone. i hate how easily i can fall. im such a worthless mess. no one should have to deal with me.
Multiple protestors calling for a ceasefire interrupt Secretary of State Anthony Blinken during a Senate hearing in which he discussed giving $14.3 billion in aid to Israel (via NBC)
feeling so intensely about the people around you is very beautiful i love loving
i love thinking and having someone to write about, like man i’m in love but in this funny way it isn’t entirely platonic but it’s not romantic either!? and i love seeing smiles or when eyes lit up or when the excitement can’t be expressed with just words or when it CAN and i hear that in their voice it’s just it’s so nice and i could go run a marathon from all the adrenaline it gives me
we don’t talk about the part when my brain suddenly tells me it’s too much and everybody hates me because that’s not very cool but i guess that comes as a bonus
i FEEL like some of glados characterization is lost when the jokes about her circle around fitting the "dommy step on me sexy + intelligent + evil/cruel" archetype not like she isnt evil or intelligent or sexy but i do think i greatly enjoy her character more when i get to remember she is a little silly. she is mean and cruel by making up the most elaborate and stupid sounding insults ever. she has an extreme grudge against you which she insists shes not mad about while mentioning the fact every two minutes. shes madly obsessed with a woman who never responded to a word shes ever said. most of the shit she says is just straight up ridiculous. shes constantly battling intense feelings of loneliness while refusing to admit to anyone she could ever want company or affection. she is described by the creators as "throwing fits like an angry child". glados IS a little bit pathetic and silly and a very funny and very sad character. shes a woman of multitudes
Join Monika and Rabin on a courageous journey through a mysterious forest, where they discover the true essence of bravery, friendship, and facing fears.
Monika and Rabin, two adventurous siblings, decided to explore the mysterious forest that bordered their village. With trepidation, they entered the dense woods, where strange sounds and eerie shadows surrounded them
What if I told you that RoobrickMarine went and wrote an entire novella starring my 16th century dog couple? It's very canon-adjacent, well researched and thoughtfully put together, has inspired me a ton during these past months and it's now publicly available at AO3. I highly recommend it.
the 'roman slavery was just household slaves not like later plantation/industrial slavery' thing I hear all the time from people irl is going to make me insane for real. it's not their fault they don't know but the fact that this is the general perception of roman slavery is literally so hideous to me. frantically leans into the microphone for 300 dollars who can tell me who the people doing most of the large scale agricultural and mining work were. please. pl