#internalized sexism

[haggishlyhagging]

You remember how a journalist unilaterally decided to give me a new name—Mrs. Husband's Surname—on learning that I was married, and how I asked him to stop because that was not my name. I will never forget the smoldering hostility from some Nigerian women in response to this. It is interesting that there was more hostility, in general, from women than from men, many of whom insisted on calling me what was not my name, as though to silence my voice.

I wondered about that, and thought that perhaps for many of them, my choice represented a challenge to their idea of what is the norm.

Even some friends made statements like "You are successful and so it is okay to keep your name." Which made me wonder: Why does a woman have to be successful at work in order to justify keeping her name?

The truth is that I have not kept my name because I am successful. Had I not had the good fortune to be published and widely read, I would still have kept my name. I have kept my name because it is my name. I have kept my name because I like my name.

There are people who say "Well, your name is also about patriarchy because it is your father's name." Indeed. But the point is simply this: Whether it came from my father or from the moon, it is the name that I have had since I was born, the name with which I traveled my life's milestones, the name I have answered to since that first day I went to kindergarten on a hazy morning and my teacher said, "Answer 'present' if you hear your name. Number one: “Adichie!”

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

#chimamanda ngozi adichie #sexism #internalized sexism #patriarchy

[vexingwoman]

I’m loving hearing everyone’s thoughts on whump. Many such cases of ostensibly straight or bisexual women consuming nothing but torture porn (with a tasteful side of woobie coddling or “caretaking”) for gay male pairings almost exclusively. Extreme rambling below because I’ve been thinking about this forever and I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it in a meaningful way.

The non-sexual elements of whump are actually even more interesting to me, especially since even that is still reserved for gay male characters (or straight male characters being written as gay for fic). The whole caretaking part, the way so many whump writers often deride canon material for failing to properly explore the sort of pain they think their fandom faves ought to feel (more accurately: exhibit). Many whump fics are non-sexual but the voyeuristic attention to the suffering of its gay male protagonists feels sexual, in a fetishistic way. There is no similar equivalent to people paying this much precious, mawkish attention to the traumas experienced by female characters. Even if it mirrors or exceeds the actual amount of canon emotional catharsis experienced by their male counterparts.

And I really don’t think these women are a 1:1 equivalent to men who can only get off watching extremely violent porn about women. I don’t even think it comes close to the level of harm those men cause. But I would like to ask the people who consume and produce this content: Why is it only ever about gay men? Why is suffering, crying, rape, terminal illness, torture, etc. such a heavy erotic fixation for them?

And unfortunately I cannot picture any response that isn’t either 1) pornsick or 2) violently defensive.

Very eloquently said. In my experience, aside from admitting that it’s a fetish or misogynistically claiming that male characters are more complex and easier to empathize with, the most common answer I’ve received to the question of why this community focuses almost exclusively on male characters is that it’s an “unexpected and intriguing reversal of gendered expectations.” And while this may be true for some, I’m not convinced this is the main reason.

Because obviously, having a female character abuse and torture the male character would also constitute as an unexpected reversal of gendered expectations, but this community isn’t fascinated by that. Both the character executing the abuse, and the character receiving the abuse, are virtually always male—and the character who plays the role of the caretaker, of course. Coincidentally, I just ran into some stats which really emphasize the point, not that they were needed:

Also, have you noticed a strange upsurge in ridiculously abusive and shockingly violent homo-erotic media? I’m referring to stories like Killing Stalking or Hannibal here. Of course, these kinds of stories have always existed, but I feel like the fascination in them has recently spiked. I recall that even ten years ago the most popular media on gay male relationships was mawkishly adorable—what some would call “fluffy.”

You have to wonder how much of a role that plays in all this. I know for many girls, these vicious homo-erotic stories were their first real exposure to whump content. Maybe they prefer gay male whump content because it’s all they know? But again, that seems too convenient an answer.

In conclusion, I think this is just a mixture of fetishization and internalized misogyny, as I’ve said. In another post, I’ll go further into why I think it’s actually false to argue that male characters are more complexly written and easier to empathize with, and how the real culprit is not the writing, but gendered stereotyping and unconscious misogyny.

If anyone wants to chime in and give their perspective on this, please do.

#terfblr #radical feminism #terfsafe #radblr #gender critical #radical feminist safe #misogny #sexism #gender abolition #whump community #whump #internalized sexism

[doctortwhohiddles]

Oh look, Patty wrote another Tea Party. It's mostly about Meghan Markle, but it's as idiotic as the others.

The bruises are shadows. There's absolutely no evidence whatsoever that Meghan is being abusive towards Harry. None at all. Patty just needs to blame the woman because for her, it's always the women's fault. Accusing a woman of domestic abuse based solely on anonymous gossip about a woman the press brainwashed the public to hate is beyond the pale.

As for the story about Sophie, we all know it was made up by Aeltri. None of it is real. Again, tinhaters will always blame the women and make up vicious lies about them to justify their jealousy.

#sQeptics #markle tinhaters #gatorfisch #ffs #internalized sexism #with fans like these

[oasisr]

Women really need to quit calling each other "bitch." It's so dehumanizing.

My brother's been seeing this girl who is his daughters age. She's very "ghetto and proud." She's called me a "bitch" and a "hoe" as a joke, but I don't think it's funny.

It's made this living situation extremely uncomfortable.

To make matters worse, my mom told me not to say anything and to keep my mouth shut. So, I'm not supposed to even stand up for myself either.

Hell World.

#internalized misogyny #internalized sexism #sexism #misogyny #feminist

[thecanadianweeb]

not to be mysonogistic, but i am in-fact the man hating lesbian

#internalized sexism #lesbian #man hating lesbian #mean lesbian #tired af

[battleangel]

This Barbie Is Pro-Abortion!

The Barbie in the Barbie movie is pro-abortion and finds herself by realizing that Barbie Land is a fake reality, discovering the real world, rejecting the programming and conditioning she received all her life in Barbie Land and scheduling an appointment with a gynecologist at the end of the movie for an abortion.

So, whats the Barbie movie really about?

I am sure thats not the ending Mattel wanted but Greta Gerwig fought for it.

Before we talk about the ending, we need to talk about the movie itself.

What does Barbie Land represent?

Barbie Land is our current virtual reality simulation, what we refer to as "the real world". Where I am typing this and where you are reading this.

Where we are now is a virtual reality simulation, just like Barbie Land is.

We all originated from an eternal dreamscape.

We are all limitless eternal energetic beings.

When our parents had sex, and procreation occurred, our limitless eternal energetic being selves temporarily manifested as physical human beings in this virtual reality.

Where we are now is a simulated virtual reality of the actual dreamscape that we all originated from.

When you dream at night, when you enter REM sleep, your consciousness shifts and you re-enter the dreamscape temporarily.

Its why dreams are so lucid, vivid and surreal. They are the dreamscape. 10 dimensions all existing simultaneously at once vs the 3 dimension virtual reality we currently inhabit.

Its why in a dream you can fall through the sky without dying, walk through walls, walk on water.

Its why in your dreams, you can do anything. Its why we all dream, even if we dont remember our dreams.

Then we wake up, and we are back to our virtual reality.

Wash, rinse, repeat for our entire human existence until our physical bodies perish and we return to our eternal energetic selves in the dreamscape.

Figuring out that you are actually a limitless energetic being, not the temporary human being you are currently physically manifested as, is the entire point to our existence.

Barbie had the same journey in the Barbie movie.

She had to figure out that Barbie Land wasn't real, it was just a simulated reality made to appear real, but it wasn't.

In the film, she then found out about our current reality (which represented the dreamscape) then she ascended beyond her Barbie doll self at the end of the film and self-actualized into who she actually was by asserting her bodily autonomy and personal freedom and scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist for an abortion.

Barbie rejected the myth and demands of feminity, the societal demands to martyr oneself on the altar of motherhood, rejected the feminine ideals of self-abnegation, self sublimation, subservience, submissiveness, putting the self last, sacrifice to the point of obliterating the self, sacrificing career, dreams & freedom.

Barbie rejected all of this societal conditioning and programming and fully accepted her actualized self, completed her self ascension and self awakening journey.

Barbie the doll was dead, Barbie the actual self had finally been realized and self-actualized.

Through an abortion appointment with a gynecologist.

In most films, Barbie would have found herself and completed herself at the end of the movie through love for a man, Ken.

They would have lived happily ever after in Barbie Land together forever in their perfect Barbie mansion.

The end.

Except she left his ass and got with America Ferrara and her daughter to take her to a gynecologist appointment for a motherfucking abortion.

Theres your happy ending.

I am in my 40s so I lived for all of those cheesy late 90's & early 00's romance comedies -- How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, Shes All That, What A Girl Wants, 10 Things I Hate About You -- the list goes on and on.

If Jennifer Garner, Amanda Bynes, JLo and Kate Hudson were in it and it was a romance comedy, bet I watched it. And missed literally all of the societal grooming, messaging and conditioning inherent in all of the above movies (Julia Stiles consistent takedown of the patriarchy in 10 Things I Hate About You is a notable & rare exception which went totally over my head at the time as I was 17 and a lot more focused on how cute and endearing Heath Ledger was).

At the end of the Barbie movie, Barbie is dressed professionally in a stylish and chic business suit, so one assumed she was going to a job interview, to find her "true identity" in the hallowed halls of corporate America.

Barbie doesnt need a man, she has her career!

That she then sublimates her entire identity for, replacing who she is with a job title, stock options, clout, prestige and a 401k account instead of pursuing true knowledge of the self.

Remember the LinkedIn posts after 250k people got their asses unceremoniously brushed out the door of big tech last fall?

Who are they if not an Amazonian, Googler or Metamate?

They dont know as their big tech career became their entire identity.

Thats the point of capitalism.

You are a worker first and foremost. Your job defines you. Your work is who you are. Your work is your worth.

You're nobody without Amazon, Google or Meta.

At Amazon, on top of the world, impressive, six figure salary, unrestricted stock, envy of your LinkedIn network, impeccable credentials, career that speaks for itself, untouchable.

Laid off from Amazon, unemployed & jobless loser who scrambles to type "Ex-Amazon" in your LinkedIn headline befofe you're even walked out of the building.

Exchanging one false identify -- Barbie the perfect living doll -- for another -- Barbie the corporate executive -- and still never finding and pursuing the true self.

Who are you and why are you here?

What were you made for?

Had the movie ended with Barbie going to a job interview, ostensibly to ascend the ranks of corporate America in her stilettos, her newfound corporate identity would be nothing but another superficial Barbie outfit.

Barbie, the corporate ballbreaker! Pantsuit sold separately.

Still with no knowledge of who she is, just another false persona to put on.

But the last line of the movie reveals that Barbie actually isnt there for a job interview, she is there for a scheduled appointment with a gynecologist.

Presumably to have fetal tissue scraped out of her uterus.

Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice hits.

The end.

So, what was the Barbie movie really about?

When you figure out our reality is actually a virtual reality simulation, and its not real, you will actually start to experience the same glitches Margot Robbie did during the "Hey Barbie!" musical number.

Her realization that Barbie Land wasnt real and that there was a real reality outside of Barbie Land and her slowly waking up to the patriarchy, paternalism, myth of femininity, toxic feminine idelas, toxic masculinity, society's dystopian obsession with beauty, unrealistic beauty standards nearly impossible to attain, obsession with image and appearing perfect, obsession with impressing people and keeping up with the joneses, hypercompetitiveness, constant comparisons, emptiness within, shallowness and superficialty, lack of substance and introspection, not knowing who she is as a person outside of "Barbie", suppression of "negative" emotions like sadness, existentialism, questioning why she is here, why she was born, what she was made for, hopelessness, malaise, boredom, always having to appear happy, always smiling, subservient submissive pliant obedient attractive sexy willing feminine ideal -- and her becoming her actual self after meeting her maker (Rhea Perlman) and leaving the virtual reality (Barbie Land) and ascending to the actual reality (our current world in the movie which actually is an allegorical stand-in for the dreamscape) and then becoming her true self and shedding her Barbie persona by scheduling the appointment with the gyencologist at the end of the movie for an abortion.

So, what was the actual message of the end of the Barbie movie?

By freely choosing to have an abortion, Barbie chose bodily autonomy, rejection of the feminine myth & feminine ideal, rejection of the societal mandate that all women martyr themselves for motherhood, rejection of societal programming that children complete womens identity by turning them into that enigmatic mystical all-consuming figure of "mother" and that a womans highest calling is to be a mother.

Barbie chose to be her complete self as a woman by choosing not to be a mother and she chose not to fulfill her identity and personhood through procreation as society dictates and demands all women to do.

Being pregnant doesnt mean -- at least it should never mean -- that you have to give birth.

A lotttt can happen where youre pregnant and you dont want to be.

Barbie refused societys demands that she now sacrifice herself on the altar of motherhood -- her dreams, her life, her sexuality, her body, her appearance, her career, her freedom, her income, her lifestyle, her independence -- all to become a sacrificial mother lamb to be put on a false pedestal like all the mothers who came before her to be endlessly used and abused for free labor.

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, rides to school, sports practices, games, dance recitals, dance rehearsals, doctors appointments, school plays, birthday parties, parent teacher conferences, sleepovers, grocery shopping, meal planning, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, car rides, car pools, help with homework & school projects, advice, discipline, punishments, teaching them, educating them, raising them, reading to them, bathing them, dressing them, teaching them manners, socializing them, singing to them, brushing their teeth, blowing their nose, changing their diapers, potty training them, putting them to bed every night, giving them medicine when theyre sick, bandaids when theyre hurt, staying up when they have a fever, picking them up when they cry, burping them, sterilizing bottles, washing dishes, emptying the dishwasher, finding recipes, placating picky eaters, fixing childrens broken hearts, dealing with toddler tantrums, making them eat their vegetables, picking up legos, limitless endless patience of a saint, never complaining, never being tired, limtless boundless energy, putting away toys, slavery, drudgery, scrubbing stains on carpets, unpaid labor, no benefits no time off, cleaning up spills, messes, urine on the floor, vomit in the hallway, blowout diaperas, diarrhea everywhere, buying decorations, responsible for creating holiday cheer, planning the 1st birthday, organizing the family calendar tracking all games, practices, parent teacher meetings and conferences, dance recitals and rehearsals, school plays, boy scout and girl scout meetings, registration for summer camps, taking them to the library, coming up with and planning all fun family activities, ensuring good grades, good behavior, good performance in sports, dance, gymnastics, cheer, teaching and instilling teamwork, friendship, generosity, kindness, sincerity, genuineness, honesty, defending the vulnerable, empathy, creativity, imagination, fostering an open mind, band camp, music lessons, playing the piano, private tutoring...

The mother is primarily responsible for all of that, and if the father deigns to help, he is lauded for "helping to babysit" and take care of his own fucking children!

Just because a condom broke or the bitch refused to wear one, just because he coerced her to have sex, pressured her, forced her, just because she had an amazing meaningless fuck and enjoyed every second, just because she had sex with her soulmate and she loved every moment, just because she didnt know how to say no because she was never taught how to, just because she was intimidated, just because she didnt want to piss him off, just because she wanted him to like her, just because shes proudly promiscuous, just because she likes to fuck, just because she forgot to take her birth control, just because she was on prescription medication that rendered her birth control ineffective, just because she couldnt get to the pharmacy on time to buy Plan B -- that should never ever ever mean that any woman should have to submit to the tyranny and sublimation of motherhood if she doesnt want to.

In rejecting the ultimate societal programming of all females which mandates that all women were meant to be mothers, you arent a woman if youre not a mother, motherhood is femininity, being a mother is a womans highest calling, only selfish women choose not to have kids, you complete & finalize your identity as a woman only by becoming a mother -- nothing else you ever do or accomplish will ever compare in any way to expelling a fetus from your uterus, she became Barbie, herself, her self, because now she knew her self, and not the Barbie she always was in Barbie Land.

This Barbie is pro-abortion.

#barbie #barbie the movie #existentialism #barbie is everything #barbie land #feminist #feminism #patriarchy #paternalism #internalized sexism #misogony #abortion #pro choice #bodily autonomy #reproductive rights #reproductive justice #reproductive freedom #abortion rights #antinatalism #antinatalist #societal norms #societal expectations #toxic masculinity #messaging #social justice #malaise #boredom #existential crisis #existential dread #anti capitalism

[undedkat]

Shoutout to all the girls who hated the colour pink, wearing dresses and makeup, and being traditionally feminine growing up because of internalized misogyny and then unlearned all of that internalized misogyny and accepted that femininity isn’t a bad thing. But then just kept on not liking makeup and dresses and being feminine because femininity just wasn’t their thing.

#also shoutout to the girls who I learned internalized misogyny only to realize they’re a boy. I love you trans guys #shoutout to girls who unlearn misogyny in general too #feminism #gender stuff #gender noncomformity #internalized sexism #unded rambles

[thisismisogynoir]

Oh wow, I want to die?

#like later she mentions the roman empire unironically and i just stopped reading #feminism has become so defanged and infantilized these days #I pray to never become this lobotomized #sexism #misogyny #internalized sexism #internalized misogyny

[hoolay-boobs]

I was leaving the gym and this girl with winged eyeliner and mascara and earrings was by my coat and I was like ‘oh boy she’s probably an Instagram influencer or a gym caster’ and I didn’t want to interact with her too much so I said “excuse me, I just need to get to my jacket behind you, sorry bout that” and my internalized misogyny went CHECKMATE and she was sooo sweet and kind, she was like “oh no worries! No need to be sorry :)” and then she asked me how my workout was and what my major is (it’s the gym at the university btw) and how my day was going and we exchanged names and I told her to enjoy her workout and she told me to have a nice day. And honestly life is too short for me to be judgemental towards cute and nice girls who wear full face makeup at the gym.

#gonum posts #yeah #internalized misogyny #I’m learning and improving <3 #internalized sexism #girls are awesome

[fandomshatewomen]

Why do people keep lusting after Henry Cavill even though he’s a misogynist who has made many women uncomfortable?? It’s not like there’s a shortage of men with the same body type who are more decent human beings out there???

So ok like the short answer is white privilege... but the long answer is more complex. like the fact that he's played superman, the witcher geralt, and other nice guy roles.

but like ok take this into consideration... like dwayne johnson is a pretty wholesome guy but like very few of his roles are very romantic. which is depressing when you take into account that I'm not the only one that's noticed.

granted dwayne johnson is older than henry cavill but idk its really insidious how there's like very few fics for dwayne

and look at how many there are for henry

(before you yell at me about these being rpf I know its bad but its just a metric to use for the purposes of this conversation).

not to mention that there's the many thousands of geralt of rivia fics that are out there.

mod laina

#henry cavill #misogyny #internalized sexism

[haggishlyhagging]

How many women have said to me something like, "My supervisor on this job is a woman, but she's lots harder for me to work with than any of my male supervisors," or "I hate to admit this, but I'm almost getting so that I'd rather work for a man than for a woman."

Mary Wollstonecraft said long ago, “Considering the length of time that women have been dependent, is it surprising that some of them hug their chains and fawn like the spaniel?” And since we learn what we live, and women have lived as colonized people longer than any group in history, it is surprising neither that we know more about how to oppress than we do about being free, nor that we collaborate so readily and fundamentally in our own oppression. As slaves, we have so completely identified with those in power, so sided with them against ourselves, so thoroughly internalized their values, that we have come to fear our freedom as our masters fear it. This dynamic functions unconsciously long after we have consciously understood and rejected our oppressed status. Therefore, it is not surprising that even feminists have so bitterly betrayed ourselves and one another for so long.

-Sonia Johnson, Going Out of Our Minds: The Metaphysics of Liberation

#sonia johnson #internalized sexism #internalized misogyny #female oppression #radical feminism #patriarchy

[mauradersdaughter]

“Not like other girls”

I think one of my biggest issues with Gilmore Girls is the “not like other girls” behavior. This trend is when women act as if they are better than other women just because they do different things beyond the female stereotype.

Gilmore girls is a serie that has that topic down to its roots. We see Lorelai and Rory as this “quirky, different” women. They eat a lot, talk too fast, are funny and don’t behave like other girls and that attracts guys. I think we see that more in Rory, especially in how she’s treated by others, like with Logan’s speech on why he hasn’t asked her out : “because you’re special”. Or when Dean comments on Rory’s eating habits: “most girls don’t eat”. This creates the better than other girls concept and idea that for a guy to want you, you can’t do things that are considered normal.

When Jess starts dating Shane, Rory gets mad, she expects him to wait for her, when she kisses him, while having a boyfriend, flies do D.C and doesn’t say anything. He didn’t have to pine, he owes her nothing. That confuses Rory, how come he doesn’t wait for her? She expects to be treated as this princess even when she hurts others and when she’s called out on her mistakes, instead of owning them, she deflects and plays victim. The “not like other girls” part kicks in when Shane is involved, like how she treates her in the store, when Shane has done nothing but date Jess (that’s the only vendetta Rory has against her). The way that Lorelai and Rory call her “a freak” just for being a teenage girl who wants to be with her guy (when afterwards Rory does the same) or during the dance marathon, Rory says: “girls like Shane, don’t they see what they look like, I know they have mirrors”. This whole shaming Shane is mysoginist and roots for competition for male attention, and that’s not the only time we see Rory shaming another woman because she’s jealous or insecure.

The whole feminist act on the show is easily forgotten by the two protagonist and we have a lot of scenes of them acting like jerks towards other women just because they don’t fit into the “cool girl” category or are girly and sometimes stereotypical. Two characters who claim to be such independent, empowering women doing shit like this is embarrassing!

#rory gilmore #lorelai x rory #lorelai gilmore #feminine #feminist #not like other girls #jess mariano #character analysis #fictional characters #anti rory gilmore #gilmore girls #feminism #feminism in media #misogny #female gaze #internalized sexism

[stephyytheseeker]

Internalized Misogyny

If you act like the Cool Girl,

The Boys will shower you with praise,

But no matter how “cool” you pretend to be,

You’ll never be as cool as a man.

#women writers #feminism #writers on tumblr #original poem #patriarchy #poetry #prose #cool girl #gone girl #cool girl monologue #internalized sexism

[fandomofisolation]

My own internalized misogyny pisses me the fuck off sometimes, because I NEVER give female characters the same understanding and compassion I give male characters.

I love Sam and Dean Winchester of The CW's "Supernatural" (2005-2020). I love Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet of HBO Max' "Our Flag Means Death" (2022-2023). I love Marvel's Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Loki. These characters have done some really fucked up shit. These characters have killed people. Most of them have killed without remorse - often for reasons that I personally cannot see as justifiable.

But I forgive all those characters. Don't get me wrong, I don't just love them because they're well-written, three dimensional, compelling characters. I love them like I care about them. Like they're my fictional friends. Like if I knew them in real life, I'd want them to be proud of me. I think that in their universes, they are good people.

I know that it sucks that we don't have as many female characters like that. But what sucks even more is that when we do I hate them! What is wrong with me??

Katniss Everdeen from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games. I read those books in high school and I hated her because I thought she was selfish. Selfish! Like, what? Who do I think I am?

Clarke Griffin of The CW's "The 100" (2014-2020). I had beef with her because I couldn't agree with some of the decisions she made, so I disliked her whole character.

Fiona Gallagher of Showtime's "Shameless" (2011-2021). *Season 4 spoilers* After Liam got into the cocaine in Season Four and was hospitalized for an overdose, I was so mad at her. I was like, "You stupid bitch! How could you just leave cocaine just lying around when you have a three-year-old in the house? That is so dumb and irresponsible!"

What stands out to me is that Katniss, Clarke and Fiona are facing circumstances every bit as difficult as any of those male characters I mentioned previously. They've lived through immense trauma. They're up against insurmountable odds. But I don't give them the same grace that I do Sam or Ed or Bucky.

I hold women, myself included, to a much high standard than men. It's ridiculous because that double standard is itself part of the very same systematic oppression that creates so many obstacles for women already (before you even ask, yes I'm including trans women. "Women" always includes trans women. Women are women are women. Genitals and chromosomes do not determine gender. Terfs go fuck yourselves).

It's not fair. It's not fair to the people writing female characters. It's not fair to female actors. It's not fair to the women and girls all over the world who need to see themselves represented in well-written, three-dimensional, complex, imperfect characters. It's not fair to me. I am part of the problem!

So anyway. Not cool, self. I gotta work on undoing those unhealthy thought patterns. Wish me luck!

#spn #ofmd #marvel #shameless #shameless us #the 100 #the hunger games #supernatural #mcu #marvel mcu #thg #thg series #dean winchester #sam winchester #ed teach #stede bonnet #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #loki laufeyson #clarke griffin #katniss everdeen #fiona gallagher #internalized misogyny #misogyny #sexism #internalized sexism

[misespinas]

“I don’t question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don’t underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse.”

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? (2002)

#Why Does He Do That? #lundy bancroft #abuse of women #abuse of girls #exploitation of women #abusive men #abuse #domestic violence #domestic violent relationships #male violence #feminism #feminist quotes #quotes #feminist #misogyny #misogynistic #cultural misogyny #internalized misogyny #sexism #internalized sexism #sexist #liberal feminism #liberal feminist #radfem #libfem #radical feminist #radical feminism #feminist theory #feminist literature #feminist quote

[femmefatalevibe]

Hello, I know none of us can truly know why men do the things they do, but I wanted to know your thoughts and opinion about why mean, nasty women are able to find husbands. Recently, I've dealt with some pretty nasty women who treated me like I was nothing, even in front of their husbands. The men usually give me a solemn or embarrassed look as their wives verbally abuse me, which let's me know that they know their wife is an asshole. I know there's the whole "men like bitches" thing, that goes around in this sector, but the women I'm talking about are downright cruel. It's the type of behavior that you would think would keep most women single. I would be completely turned off by women who acted like this, if I was a man. Do you think most women start off sweet, get a ring, and then become this way? Or do you think there are some men who see no problem with marrying a cruel woman? I'm just so confused by men, because they say they want nice friendly women, but often times the worst women I've ever met have had the longest marriages. I just don't know what to make of this lol.

Hi love! I think you make a great point about how many men don't care or consider how their women partners/spouses treat other women when evaluating the potential for a relationship with another person. It's a shame, really. However, I personally believe (and have seen in IRL) that many women who are cruel to other women are the same women who kiss up, dote over, and worship men to an unhealthy degree. These cruel women, oftentimes, are the living definition of "pick-me."

I believe these women (wrongly) see other women as their lifelong competition. Their ability to obtain and sustain male attention/partnership is how they define their worth. Men's egos are inflated/continuously nourished by these women's desire to please men. These women are nice and friendly but only to men. "Achieving" a partnership with a man is their life status symbol. And for many of these women is their primary focus and, potentially their sole, source of self-validation.

Hope you found this take helpful xx

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