#invalidation

[bifflesnitch]

The late diagnosed neurodivergent experience of being told you're wrong your entire fucking life.

You're too sensitive,

it's not too loud,

it's not too bright,

it's not overwhelming,

you're just overreacting,

it doesn't smell weird,

the texture is fine,

just eat it,

just wear it,

plans change get over it,

stop being so dramatic,

why are you so argumentative?

I was obviously joking,

why do you take everything so seriously?

I'm not yelling,

It's not a big deal,

stop nitpicking,

stop jiggling/rocking,

stop fidgeting,

stop humming/whistling/clicking,

stop talking about that,

no one cares,

you're annoying people,

you're so high strung,

just relax,

stop worrying,

stop overthinking,

just be normal

and then people act all surprised that you grow up to be an insecure, indecisive wreck. What else did you expect me to be when you spent my whole life teaching me my own perception was faulty and couldn't be trusted?

Grooming me to seek approval and validation from others for every decision I made because whenever I made them myself, they were always wrong.

#late diagnosed autistic #neurodivergent masking #actually neurodivergent #neurospicy #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #adult autism #autistic #autism #autistic girl #autistic adult #aspie #aspiegirl #aspergers #aspergirl #emotional invalidation #invalidation #ableism

[thatmultifandomchick]

Sometimes I forget that people don’t think of me as feminine, or even as a girl.

My mom and sister were going out for girls night, and when I asked why I wasn’t invited, they said I wasn’t a girl. Even though I refer to myself as such, even though I use She/Her, even though I’m AFAB.

“But I thought you went by They/Them?” I do. We’ve had this conversation before. I am a girl. I am also genderqueer. I use She/Her. I also use They/Them and sometimes He/Him. I am still a girl.

Sometimes, it’s less invalidating of my gender identity and more based on careless assumptions.

I got on a Zoom call with my therapist. She saw that my room was pink and thought my parents had picked out the color, because never in a million years would I have done that. “No,” I said, “Pink is my favorite color.”

“But you never wear pink?” What do you expect me to do, find exact replicas of of the ten items that I can both wear comfortably and that have emotional significance, but in pink? Beggars can’t be choosers when you have sensory issues and strong hyperfixation tendencies. I still like pink.

“But you like X Y Z so I assumed you wouldn’t like girly stuff?” Yes, I'm super into Tim Burton and Goosebumps and Tusk and Spider-Man, but I also love Disney and Barbie and Ever After High and My Little Pony. I typically dress like I do stage crew but I own a strawberry dress that I like to wear on special occasions. I like flower arranging and doll making and stuffed animals.

Why is it that embracing the genderqueer and masculine parts of my identity means giving up my femininity and my identity as a girl?

#demigirl #genderqueer #femininity #transmasc #nonbinary #multifaceted #gender identity #invalidation #queer #lgbt #lgbtqia #demigirl struggles #neurodivergent

[bunnighost]

#trauma vent #traumacore #vent edit #invalidation #invalidated feelings #actually bpd #bpd vent

[aroaceconfessions]

ngl i hate the way some aces treat aroallos. not all aces of course, but some. degrading and criticizing us for wanting sex, telling us sexual attraction doesn’t exist, pushing us out of aspec spaces, etc. we need to stick together and support each other so please stop siding with aphobes. it harms all of us.

Submitted July 10, 2023

#aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #aroallo #alloaro #invalidation #arophobia #aphobia #sex negativity

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

#toxic parents #emotional abuse #accountability #narcissism #therapy #aftermath #maternal narcissism #immature parents #emotionally unavailable #lack of empathy #parental neglect #child neglect #emotional neglect #emotional needs #enablers #abuse apologism #invalidation

[transenbyconfessions]

Tw: invalidation // transphobia // dysphoria

When i was 16 i made a comic that was supposed to be about my trans experience.

It was someone asking me "why do you always wear sweaters?" And i would go "well i violently hate my breasts and looking at them make me sad lol. Classic girl thing" and then theyd suggest i was trans as a trans flag crept up to me.

It was about how i thought having gender dysphoria was a normal thing, that ALL girls hated their breasts. And how often, trans men who arent aware of their gender will wear baggy clothes to hide their breasts even without knowing why they feel the urge to do so.

What happened was that the comments (made by queer people) were all "hey!! Not mad but women can hate their breasts too! :)". I got like 15 comments like this. Out of what would be 20 at max. All people telling me that women can also hide their breasts. What i read was "NOT A TRANS THING. WOMEN THING. WOMEN THING!!"

I actually ended up crying over this. What was supposed to be a comic about MY trans experience, became a smear on my mind that made me feel like im not trans. It felt so invalidating. And i genuinely think it's WILD not a single one of those commenters went "mhh. Maybe suggesting someone's personal comic about their trans feelings is about being cis is a bad idea?" No, if anything, someone suggested i WAS cis???? Again, this was in a queer community too.

I remember commenting "hey please stop. I'm scared. I feel so invalidated. I feel like im not allowed to be trans here." And people just stopped commenting completely. Nothing. Not even someone who liked the comic.

I still sometimes think about that. How my comic about gender dysphoria got forcefully turned into a #girlhood thing. Anyway FUCK that specific community and i'm glad i left it

Submitted June 20, 2023

#transgender #trans #trans masc #transmasc #trans masculine #transmasculine #trans man #trans boy #transgender man #transgender boy #trans guy #transgender guy #ftm #afab #transphobia #invalidation #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #chest dysphoria

[unwelcome-ozian]

#invalidation #trauma recovery #abuse recovery #toxic relationships

[limetarte]

Vent about amatonormativity and allonormativity

vent: really can’t stand amatonormativity and allonormativity, really really can’t stand them. It’s everywhere. If you talk to anyone who doesn’t care about aroace people’s existence, amatonormativity there, allonormativity there. So annoying. And someone used it to invalidate my trauma, even worse 🫣🫠😐😔

#aroace #amatonormativity #allonormativity #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #sexualistism #invalidation #aroace vent #vent #amatonomativity vent #allonormativity vent #sexualitism vent #emotional invalidation #trauma is valid #user’s experience is valid #user’s trauma is valid

[coulsonlives]

"It's just a headache"

The funniest part about all this? My migraines don't even cause a headache

#also i'm gonna be that person and say 'weakness' doesn't just mean 'oh my limb is tired uwu' it means literal weakness in the SIGNALS #as in the neurological signals going to your limbs and it makes you feel like they're weighed down a lot. maybe you can't move em at all #migraine #migraine cw #headaches #invalidation #migraine aura #meme #will smith #health #chronic illness

[tooshnado]

small vent here teehee (tw: medical gaslighting?? ableism??)

trying to seek out an autism diagnosis and its scaring me.

so sure i have it but im scared of getting told i have ‘anxiety’ (i’m afab and have a feeling i may not be seen as autistic because of the differences in symptoms and whatnot associated with that) or otherwise being invalidated for my very real autistic experiences :(

we ball ig.

#actually autistic #autism acceptance #self diagnosed autism #medical gaslighting #invalidation #im scared lol ahhh #we ball?? but if i ‘dont have it’ even tho i check many boxes i will scream

[furiousgoldfish]

People will tell you to 'leave your trauma behind' or 'let go of it', as if the trauma hasn't been rooting itself into every crevice of your life and body, and didn’t wrap its tentacles around your every thought and movement and trapped you so that you can barely keep surviving while struggling against it's hold. As if you haven't been fighting and wrestling and distracting and doing everything in your all human might, to get it to leave you alone, to let you live.

Nobody is holding on to trauma. Trauma is like a violent wave you're being drowned in, or thousands of leeches attaching themselves to you, keeping you paralyzed, helpless. Trauma is one thing that is so far out of human control, it's ridiculous to even imply someone would be able to choose to hold onto it. Nobody picks and chooses what trauma does to their life. Nobody needs to 'let go'. If anything, we could use some support and reassurance that we're not guilty of being affected by it, that it's not just us stuck trying to wrestle it down. We could use some help fighting, instead of everyone else pretending the fight itself is our fault.

#trauma #cptsd #ptsd #invalidation #long term trauma #long term abuse #trauma symptoms

[naynaychan00]

A Soviet's Prayer - That Didn't Happen

Upon telling people about the horrors of communism as someone whose family still bears the emotional scars, I often come across a particularly hurtful comment from Western leftists

"USSR wasn't real communism" And I believed it, until a talk with a person born in Vietnam who complained that she couldn't talk with Westerners about the horrors of communism because she'd get the same reaction snapped me out of it Why is this phrase so hurtful to CEEs?

Well, first of all, when you say that USSR communism wasn't real communism, you're dismissing the lived experience of not just me, but millions of people

By telling us that our experience isn't real, you're invalidating us

You're asserting yourself, a privileged Western leftist who never grew up in the USSR above us, who did and whose homes and lives are still threatened by the USSR's successor, Russia

So, what can you do?

The same thing you tell others to do. CHECK YOUR GODDAMN PRIVILEGE AND LISTEN! You talk about listening to marginalized people, so take your own advice and LISTEN TO US!

Critically examine your chosen leftist political system the same way you examine capitalism with emphasis on CEEs' lived experiences

Sit down and examine your cognitive dissonance. Why does it make you feel uncomfortable when people with lived experience tell you "hey, our experience with communism fucking SUUUUUUCKED" to the point where you have to dismiss our lived experience?

Don't say that the USSR communism wasn't real communism. It was real to us This is part 1 of 6 of my script notes for my upcoming comic, The Soviet's Prayer, which is a rageucational comic about the pain of a CEE leftist when dealing with Westerners

#ussr #soviet union #soviet #tankies #russian imperialism #anti communism #communism #historical trauma #invalidation #westsplaining #leftist #left wing

[aroaceconfessions]

i’m so tired of how people use “cishet” to mean non queer even though cishet aspecs exist. i’m not cis or straight myself but it still bothers me. aspecs are constantly pushed out of queer spaces and i hate it

Submitted July 3, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #aphobia #acephobia #arophobia #invalidation

[rhythmicsystem]

One of the most infuriating things is being told to "get a job" by someone who uses something you create and offer for free (in our case, open source software)

Like. What the heck man.

Even if my reasons for not having a job were not related to my being disabled, that's just really disrespectful in general. Especially if you're using the resources I've spent my time and energy to make.

-🌑☀️ Eclipse

#actually disabled #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #actually did #programming #software #invalidation #rhythmic ramblings #rhythmic disability rants

[copingwithmemes]

#invalidation #memes #funny #humor #funny memes #relatable memes #depression #depression memes #anxiety #anxiety memes #ptsd #ptsd memes #trauma #trauma memes #cptsd #cptsd memes #toxic positivity #I'm SO SICK of hearing this shit #I give up at this point y'all

[transenbyconfessions]

Online nonbinary discourse and ace discourse has rotted my brain and shoved me back into the closet, even in LGBTQ+ spaces.

I'm agender and I hate being misgendered. It gives me so much social dysphoria it makes me sick. But I can't correct people who misgender me, or I'll be seen as a cis girl who just wants to feel special, since I still "look" like a girl and can't really change that.

"If you were really nonbinary, you'd wear a binder." I have sensory issues, I can barely handle an oversized sports bra! And I don't know how to keep a binder hidden from my parents. If they find it, I'm dead.

"If you were really nonbinary, you'd get your hair cut to something short and androgynous." I like braiding my hair. It feels nice. Also, I don't want to imagine what that comment about "short and androgynous" feels like to AMAB enbies who feel dysphoric with short hair.

"If you were really nonbinary, you'd change your voice." My natural voice is already so low I've been mistaken for a cis man on multiple occasions, but I guess that doesn't matter once I'm nonbinary.

I'm tired of lying that I'm a cis girl so I don't get seen as "fake enby who just wants the attention." I'm tired of lying that I'm allo so I don't get seen as "evil puritan ace who wants to ban sex and love."

I'm tired of being in the closet. I miss covering everything in pride flags and proudly telling people my pronouns. I wish I could go back in time to when I had no idea that enbies and aspecs were controversial even in LGBTQ+ spaces.

Submitted July 9, 2023

#transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary #enban #agender #transphobia #invalidation #misgendering #asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #acephobia #aphobia