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#iris doesnt have a last name huh
dumbasswhatever · 3 years
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Feenie: Do you have a second, Dollie?
Iris: No, there’s only one of me. What? Why are you asking?
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elem-entals · 4 years
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undercover irid, crown prince  seb, elems academy marco, librarian knowledge nads au
Brent and I had some really good ideas in this whole rp Pt. 1
Undercover irid but seb is also there undercover
Maybe irid is from some far off kingdom secretly
And helps/recruited the elems
And surprise she’s actually an agent from the Eastern Kingdom
And the lovable seemingly dumbass refugee who’s been putting his blacksmithing skills to use since the academy changed hands to dm
He looks at irid; and tells her to cut the act, the mission has been accomplished
Irid:
Irid; >:| dammit, sire
Irid: there’s still more to acc- Seb holds up a hand: it’s high time we stop the charade and make things clear
Seb: we all know how cozy you’ve gotten here, Fire elemental Iridona c; Irid: >:| 😳 your Majesty
Marco: what
Irid: Seb: Crown Prince Sebastian Warbourne at your service c;
Irid as one of the palace guards and a close friend of the prince
Irid muttering: >:| we had more to get done
Marco, later: sam what the fuck
Marco: she’s some sort of highly trained palace guard warrior chick
Marco: no wonder she picked up on training so fast, common girl with secret powers my butt
Seb, walking around a corner: that was her original origin
Seb: she really was a commoner who learned to fight rather quickly
Seb: and I’d watch how you talk about her, especially in front of me c;
Sam: 😗🍷
Sam: just your type marco
Seb: 👀
Seb: she hasnt dated much, but you are quite her type as well, Marco.
Sam: great, I love watching marco get his ass kicked
Seb: I do, as well 🍹
Marco: >:|
Sam: we ain't friends, guy
Marco: you get all fluttery whenever she’s near and you practically glow whenever she’s paying attention to you
Marco: me thinks she’s more than a bodyguard to you
Seb: Seb; 🍹
Seb: my interests are her happiness
Seb, picking lint off of his shirt: she is more than capable of being a mere palace guard
Sam: like a wife
Seb: if I can help her be more, find more of what could make her happy, live up to her potential, I will do nothing to stand in the way
Seb knocks back his drink
All of it
At once
Sam: impressive
Seb: no
Seb: its really not
Sam: I did like 3 at once one time during breeding season a few years back 😗
Seb:
Marco:
Marco: what
Sam: it was hard to position all three
Sam: without spilling it
Marco: OH drinks
Sam: I was already hammered so I dont think I would have noticed anyway
Sam: oh
Sam: yeah drinks
Marco: ...
Sam: and then maybe some very impressed ewes 😗🍷
Marco: what
Sam: anyway your kinglyness finish your ominous speech
Seb: 👀🍹no that was it
Sam: oh okay cool
Marco: will your guard terrier approve of another drink or does she need to test it
Sam: [takes a sip]
Seb: Seb punches Marco’s arm
Sam as a former party boy for this au I guess
Seb: maybe if its poisoned you should try it first 😒
Sam: oh damn I'll do it, I'd love to die
Seb:
Marco: 😕
Seb: yikes
Sam: jokes
Sam at some point to marco: y'know there's probably a few Samir jr.'s out there somewhere 🤔
Marco: wow
Sam: I know, weird to think about
Sam: I dont know if you wolves feel the same way but sometimes during breeding season some people just let loose
Sam: a lot of hatchlings are raised communally
Sam: dont know who their parents are, 's not really a big deal to us
Sam: sorry, there was just a hatchling that ran past a few hours ago and I got to thinking about it
Starling lore for this au
And maybe in general idk
This is a single dad Sam au now I guess
Marco: what if
Marco: what if you met a kid that was yours?
Is this assuming he doesnt have nadir with him yet?
Sam: I Sam: I don't know
Sam, elbowing him: maybe this upcoming season eh?
Whichever you think is more fun for this point im the au
Sam having a tryst with a starling from the eastern kingdom and he keeps the egg for himself
Lol she drops it on his desk
she's a badass warrior (maybe another palace guard?) And doesnt have the time/safe place to raise it
a starling version of iris
And is like "this is yours to do as you please"
"Wuh"
“Have fun byeee”
Warrior starling with a dry personality and a love of violence
Yes exactly
"This is soft cushy work, perfect for you"
"Uh"
Marco:
Marco: so you have a kid now?
Marco: mazel
Sam: one that I know about, yeah
Sam, with the egg: I could Sam: bring it to a hatchery
Marco: ...
Sam: this is the first time I've been face to shell with a product of a tryst
Sam: oh dont look at me like that, it's a normal starling cultural thing
Sam: it's not like your orphanages
Marco: yeah i know but
Marco: 👀 you were saying you could use a bit of something stable
Marco: company
Sam: 🌕🖊️ Sam: look [shows him the egg]
The egg has a face scrawled on it
Marco: you have a support system here too
Sam, egg voice: hi marco, it's me, Samir Jr.
Concept: Iris as a visiting consultant as a favor to Dm as he’s trying to set up the new Academy
Sam: 🤔 I am getting a bit long in the tooth
Iris: Samir, for the last time, I need those reports on-
Iris: 👀|
Iris: that’s an egg
Sam: it is
~
Someone asks Iris if she’s dating dm
Sam: very astute observation, I can see why you get paid the big bucks
“Not my type”
Dm: she likes twinks but like straight
Iris: >👀|
Sam: so like all starlings
Dm: mhm
Iris: >👀C
Sam: I know a buddy who's single
Sam: not afraid to mingle with those of the flesh
~
Iris: you’re about to see my foot up your ass
Marco: this is why I liked having you around
Sam: [cups his hands around his eyes]
Marco: Sam, seriously, it could be nice
Marco: having a little one around
Sam: hmm Sam: I'll give it a week to decide
Iris: ugh you and your father are so domestic
Sam: he's getting old iris
Sam: he wants to settle down
Sam: maybe with someone from out of town 👀
Sam: isnt that right eggbert Sam, egg voice: sure is
Iris: your dad met your mother and like a month later “oh she’s so wonderful, I could see us settling down in some house in the Valley or something”
Iris: [fake gags]
Sam: [sighs] I want that
Sam: marco is your dad into single dads
Sam: this could be your step sibling
Marco: dont even joke
Iris, in a bad dm impression; Samir, you’re claws are looking very pointy today
Iris: may I escort you to the Fall Ball in August?
*your
Sam: why thank you Marco, you're so kind~
Sam, bats his lashes: what a gentleman
Iris, pretending to be faint: Oh, Iris, he’s so lovely, we’ll have a June wedding
Iris: I’m assuming you’re the same way in love, Marc-y
Sam: I need a nice, strong man to help me raise my hatchling
Marco: >:| I hate having you around
Marco: No you dont
Marco: you are strong
Sam: not as strong as this little dude's ma
Sam: she could have bench pressed me
Iris: ooh👀
Sam: I think I pulled something when we were together
Iris: oooooh👀c
Iris: gimme the hot goss
^monotone lucretia voice
Sam, scooting closer: so she drops this on my desk, right?
Iris: ‼️
Sam: "here, you live a cushy, domestic life. Take this"
Sam: what am I supposed to do with this? I ask Sam: she snorts, patronizingly I might add Sam: "use your fancy academy education and figure it out"
Sam: >:T she must think I'm some kind of coddled highborn
Iris: she sounds cool
Marco: you would think that
Sam: she was that big tall starling his fancy pants-ness brought with him
Sam: look at me forging alliances
Sam: you're all welcome
Sam: you're next marco
Iris: oh, you mean
Eh?
Iris: Shabina?
Sam: is that her name? Huh 🤔
Iris: you didnt even know her name? 👀c
Sam: she doesnt know mine so I think we're square
Sam: she called me desk jockey at one point
Iris: oooh, she mentioned you
Sam: oh?
Iris: “the desk jockey had these soft hands, and knew how to use them”
Marco: uGH
Sam, leaning back: ha, totally me
Marco: what do you mean I’m next?
I like this iris dynamic with sam and marco tbh
Sam: maybe I can teach you sometime Marco, y'know, to get a leg up in his royal ominous-ness
Yeah same
Marco: what the fuck is that sentence
Iris: language, pup
Sam: I mean we're going to help you seduce iridona
Sam: get you a palace guard
Marco: what
Iris: now that you’ve got an egg you’re wanting to play matchmaker?
Sam: yes
Sam: I'm feeling domestic
Marco: oh please after you got Celi in your clutches you wouldnt leave me and Dad and Marse alone about “finding someone”
Sam: you're welcome btw, told you I'd find you a twink
Iris: my private life is not up for speculation
Iris: how did you find him for me?
Sam: oh you think you found him on accident?
Iris: I like to find my own beaus thank you very much
Sam: [snickers] okay
Iris: [narrows her eyes]
Marco: nice
Marco: maybe Sam can get you ankid too
Iris slaps his arm
Sam: yeah, maybe Sam: my cup runneth over with them, apparently
Sam: I'll keep doing a whirlwind tour of the willing starling ewes that could break me in half in the eastern kingdom and make everyone an egg
Sam: [sighs] Sam: I'm gonna go to the library to get some books on parenting I guess
Sam: who wants to come with?
Iris, winding her arm thru sam’s: there’s a section on combat training that could be useful for a growing young starling
Sam: just because my hatchling's mom was a meathead doesn't mean they have to be
Iris: oh no no
Iris: not a meathead per say. but a cool and collected young ewe or ram with the ability to defend themselves from enemies
Marco: should you decide to keep the hatchling, you’ll have so many people to help with the kid, they wont even need it
Iris: but they should know
Iris: maybe young master DeSantos can learn some seduction techniques
Marco: >:|
Sam: yeah I've got plenty of that
Marco; Irid has enough on her plate
Sam: what, some kid playing king?
Sam: if the other palace guard has enough time to waste with me I'm sure irid can stomach a date or two with you
Sam: c'mon, let's go to the library
Marco: maybe he was just looking to make friends
Sam: mostly because I don't remember how to get there :<
He was but also sam’s right
Iris: pfft
Iris tugs on his arm
Iris moved over to the capital after losing her first husband. She lost him awhile back when she was just friends with dm
Later when she struggles marco and dm and sam help comfort her
Iris and sam and marco at the fantasy baby store
Trying to figure out what to get a soon to be hatchling
this is a knowledge nads au also
Ooooooo
to prepare you for this variant
is Nads a librarian
nads is a librarian
Bookmage
Book battle mage
We gotta figure out how to incorporate some of this into one of our long standing au’s
Nads: Hi, welcome to Talondrop Library :DDD
Iris: 👀|c hello, young miss
Sam, muttering: it's way too early in the morning for this kind of pep
Iris quietly: I like her, hush
Marco nods
Iris: might we be directed to the section on baby care?
Nads: how can I help you all? c: Nads: unless you're part of that group that's been stealing books in which case I won't hesitate to use force >:c [pulls out an envelope opener]
Iris: 👀|c like a real life Bilbo
Nads who is probably as tall or taller than Iris
Nads: oh, sure! :DDD [she still doesn't put away the opener]
Nads: right this way
Nads: what kind of baby is it? I've organized the whole section by species
Iris: impressive
Iris: a hatchling, eventually
Nads: ✨✨✨
Nads: I see! Nads: that explains why you walked in with an egg 🤔
Nads: I didn't want to assume
Nads: what in particular are you looking for? feeding? education? c: Sam: uh...everything? Nads: first time parent? I got you c;
Nads grabs one of those book carts
Nads: I'll be back in just a second with a selection!
Sam: This vibe is weird
Sam: this is making it all so...realy
Sm@l iris befriending sam after she and celi visit to have their case looked at
Iris and sam gossiping
Iris: true, but we’re at the intel gathering stage
Iris: if you’re gonna decide, you should do it well as informed as possible
Sam: intel gath- Sam: iris I'm getting baby books, I'm not on a mission
Sam: marco, you've been awfully quiet
Marco: ... just taking it in
Marco: dont want to add more noise
Sam: more than our new "friend"? I'm sure you're fine
Sam: it is awfully quiet in here though
Sam: like more than a library usually is
Nads, with a pyramid of books: I'm back, hi c:
Sam: jeez, this is uh Nads: just a small selection, I know
Sam: wasn't what I was thinking tbh
Nads: I've got a small sampling of everything you'd ever want to know
Nads: feeding, bathing, teaching; the works
Sam, looking over a book: uuuuh
Nads: and, most important of all, hatching
Sam: Sam: oh shit I forgot that part
Marco leafs thru a book
Iris: thank you, Miss...?
Nads: Nadia~ c:
Nads: Talondrop Library's head librarian
Iris: Nadia c: I’m Iris
Iris: this is Marco and thats Sam
Nads: ...!!! :OOO Nads: you're from that academy aren't you?
Marco nods
Nads: I hear you guys are hosting the King of the Eastern Kingdom
Marco: pft
Marco: yeah now we are
Iris: always interesting, having visiting foreign entities
Nads: that's so neat, it must be exciting to swap stories c: Sam, muttering: and fluids c:', c: ', c:',
Sam: right marco
Marco: oh gross
Sam: marco
Sam: right
Nads: is there anything else I can help you all with today? c: Sam: yeah, you got any books on seduction so we can help my man over here? c:',
Marco: >:| stop this
Nads: 🤭 we have some romance books if he would be interested
Marco: I am not
Nads: of course! If you'll follow me to the counter
Nads: okay, so you have two weeks before you either have to return or renew them
Nads: I'll just need your signature right here Sam: alright
Nads: and right here Sam: 'kay Nads: and a drop of your blood Sam: ok- what
Nads: for the blood pact c: Nads: if you don't return the books on time there'll be a fee, and if you don't return it in a month's time I'll hunt you down
Sam:
Marco:
Iris: 👀
Sam, taking the pin: fine, I don't want to have to walk to the bookstore
sam pricks himself and a drop of blood falls onto the small magic circle on the counter
it evaporates into a cloud of pink smoke
Nads: the contract is sealed Nads, pushing the books towards him: have a lovely day :DDD
Sam@marco and iris: what, don't look at me like that
Sam: I need these books, I'm completely lost without them
Sam studying the books in his office while marco chills
maybe talking about how irid kicked his ass during training that day?
yes i love this
marco puts his feet up on sam's desk
what does sam do in this?
what if its the same gag
he does everything and nothing
and has an office
I like it
nobody knows what he does
but dm says he's invaluable
marco: so I look up she has the dumbest smirk on her face
marco: and decks me and I fall off the log and loose the whole ass challenge
Sam: HA, classic
marco, throwing the candy wrapper from the candy he nabbed from sam's candy dish on his desk in the wastebasket: stupid
Sam: was your love rival there
Marco: my what?
Marco: I have no such thing
Marco: Iridona is a colleague
Marco: who lied technically
Sam: we've all lied once or twice
So ya know how in older movies, a couple dancing in a big fancy number was like
Lowkey highkey hinting toward their chemistry in bed
That but its how irid and marco fight or fight together
Marco: Samir
Sam: like when you asked what happened to your piece of cake that day in third grade
Marco: excuse you
Sam: and I said your sister must have taken it
Sam: and Marco, you don't have to lie about that absolutely sizzling sexual chemistry you have with her
Sam: and don't let what's his face psyche you out
Marco:
Marco: 😳 n- no-
Marco: aw fuck it
Marco: It doesnt feel right to just up and
Sam: 👀
Marco: “hey so how about this thing I think is between us”
Sam: well sure if you wanna be all Sam: werewolf Sam: about it
Sam: take a starling approach
Sam: romance her
Sam: flirt
Sam: flash her that roguish smile
Sam: instead of ballroom dancing to express your feelings you two spar Sam: it's like its own dance, in a way
Marco: ugh dont remind me. If i was gonna go all werewolf, I’d tackle her during training and growl into her ear about all the stuff i’d love to do to her and see if she’s down
Sam: rhythmic, passionate
Marco: not cool
Marco:
Sam: hey now that's not werewolf Sam: werewolf is "hello milady, I would like to mount you, do I have thine permission?""
Marco: “would thou consent to be bred-eth?”
*wouldst
Sam: "I think you'll find I'm a suitable caretaker, watch me bench this deer carcass"
Marco: heheh
Marco: seriously, I dont even know if shes interested
Sam: well
Sam: test the waters
Sam: you don't have to be blunt about it
Sam: even though I know it's in your desantos dna
Sam: maybe we should have gotten you one of those seduction books
Sam: I've finished all these books and have to return them, I could pick one up c;
Marco: hatred
Marco: utter hatred
Sam: love you too
Marco: wait you read all of those books?
Sam: yes
Sam: Also I haven't slept
Sam: I'm sure it's fine
Marco: soo
Marco: have you come any closer to a decision?
Sam: mmm
Sam: I don't know
Sam: it's only been one day
Sam: Maybe once I get more books
Marco: I-
Marco: hold on
Sam: and return these before I get stabbed in my sleep or something 😒
Sam: what is it boy
marco: are you gonna chat up the cute head librarian
Sam: is celio stuck in a well
marco: utter loathing
Sam: what? I mean I guess I have to
marco: u t t e r  l o a t h i n g
Sam: I'm pretty sure she's the only librarian
Sam: cute eh? should I alert irid that she's lost her chance? 👀
Sam: anyway I need more books because honestly I'm starting to freak out
Marco: aw sami
Sam finding nads one day super depressed looking in the dark by herself
And when he gets her attention she's like "!!!" And tries to put on her customer service persona
He asks what's wrong and she tells him that the library's going to be shut down soon and it's all she has
Sam asking dm if there's any openings for the academy library
Dm: well
Dm: theres a lot of openings since part of every intellectual department was infested with Asrani loyalist so
Dm: yes
Sam: nice Sam: um Sam: can I ask for a favor
Dm: and poor Avalene is stretched thin between sorting out the archives and trying to sort out the library
Sam: nothing big this time, I promise
Dm:
Sam: look
Sam: the library in town is slated to be shut down
Sam: and the librarian there has really been helping out with the whole Sam: surprise fatherhood thing
Dm: ah yes
Dm: that aside, I hope you know you can count on me and Marco for support with that.
Sam: I mean granted loaning out books is a librarian's job
Sam: right, thank you sir
Sam: I'll...keep that in mind
Dm: >:| you mean isolate yourself eventually
Dm: anyway 😤
Dm: I’ll see what I can do
Sam: [bats his lashes]
Dm: the young woman in Talondrop? The enthusiastic one?
Sam: that's her
Dm: hm
Dm: I’ll get back to you
Sam: thanks
Dm dials the extension for the library where avilene has set up shop
The academy one
Dm: would you like to take on an experienced young librarian with enthusiasm for the jo- Avilene, loud enough for sam to hear thru the phone: yES
dm nods at sam
Sam: great, I'll let her know
Sam: see, I told you I'd be an asset
Sam: strengthening ties between our neighbors, finding new employees
Dm waves him away: yes yes
"So like I heard you knocked up one of my guards?"
Dm: tell my son to stop dancing around his very obvious crush on Ser Velezquez
Sam: I've tried
Dm: 😒
Sam: I promise I've tried
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