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#iron dad
captain-samerica707 · 2 days ago
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Peter likes to rest and take naps on the ceiling (because idk it’s more comfy?) but he learns he cannot control his spidey stickiness when he is fast asleep. He finds this out in a very fun way. He was resting on the living room ceiling, slowly dozing off. Tony walked in and sat on the couch, as one does, just on his phone. A couple minutes after he sat down, Peter promptly fell face first on the floor from the ceiling, right at Tony’s feet, causing Tony to shriek extremely high pitchedly. Once Tony made sure Peter wasn’t hurt (he wasn’t, just surprised) Tony then yelled him for almost making him have a heart attack. After that, Peter still wanted to sleep on the ceiling because he’s difficult, so Harley and Ned had the bright idea of duct taping him to the ceiling (because they share one single brain cell) It worked, but after he was kind of stuck to the ceiling. They had to call Rhodey to get him down because he is the only person (other than Pepper, who was out of town) in that family with any common sense.
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irondad-spideyson · 2 days ago
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Tony: Peter, why were you out past curfew last night?
Peter: I was doing your mom
Tony, sighing: My mom is dead.
Peter: Omg, twinsies! Most of my bloodline is dead too!
Tony: I’m putting you back in therapy.
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ironfam-wizard · 2 days ago
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Peter: what're you doing?
Harley: ………
Peter: Is that Voodoo doll???
Harley: ………
Peter: Is that Doctor Dad's picture?!
Wong: Just let him indulge himself, It's not like it works anyway.
Peter: do you know how to do it???
Harley: Put the doll on pa's forehead and nail it.
Peter: ……Harley…NO
Wong: I told you, it's not gonna works
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lucas-james-marvel · 18 hours ago
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Steve: Why are there hundreds of spiders in the common room?
Tony: Peter gave birth, its a spider thing
Bucky: Peter… gave birth to them?
Tony: Yeah he can also talk to them, it’s creepy
Bucky: Do you want to think that one through a little more?
Tony:
Bucky:
Tony:
Bucky:
Tony: He’s been pranking me this whole time hasn’t he?
Bucky: Mhmmmm
Tony: I cannot believe this, he is so going to regret this when I get him back
Bucky:
Steve: Okay but what are we doing about the LITERAL SPIDERS THAT ARE EVERYWHERE
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flotimmyharry · 18 hours ago
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Peter: why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, i would be excited just to have a bunk bed!
Steve: ...
Bucky: ...
Harley: I'm gonna tell him-
Tony: Don't you dare!
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forgetful-nerd · 7 days ago
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Harley: it’s only an unpaid internship if you don’t steal enough office supplies.
Steve: Stealing is wrong.
Peter: You mean unpaid internships? I agree.
Tony: Go for the printer toner. It’s worth more than gold.
Harley: Fantastic advice
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lesbian-deadpool · 6 months ago
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Steve: Have you guys seen Y/N and Peter? They still have chores to do.
Tony: No, haven’t seen them since the storm started.
Steve: Since the sto-? Y/N, NO!
Y/N, standing in the middle of a thunderstorm, with Steve’s shield raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS!
(Bonus)
Tony: What the fu-?
Tony: Wait. Where’s Peter?
Peter: *Making mud-angels*
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tstark-irondad · a month ago
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Can we pls talk about Tony’s character development?!
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Like he was always great but he went from this
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To this
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You can visibly see how everything he went through and fatherhood has softened him
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Like he could still kick ass but really just wants to hang w his kids. 🥺
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Literally the best 💛
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irondad-spideyson · 2 days ago
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Peter: Eat the rich.
Tony: You wouldn’t eat me right?
Peter: You are no exception.
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fandomstookovermylife · 5 months ago
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so you know, you know, that Tony I-adopt-every-fatherless-nerdy-child-in-a-thirty-foot-radius-and-give-them-as-many-material-items-as-possible-cuz-I-love-them-and-this-is-the-best-way-i-know-to-make-them-happy Stark would buy absolutely giant, expensive candy bars every halloween and put on the iron man suit and stand at the door of avengers tower and give them to any kid who comes by and any kid dressed as an avenger gets two and any kid dressed as iron man gets four or five and when one kid comes to the door dressed as Tony Stark, Tony dumps like twenty candy bars in the kid’s bag and has to take a break for a second well he collects himself and tries not to cry (he leaves the suit at the door to keep handing out candy)
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stuckonylove · 5 months ago
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Peter: So tonight I was thinking we could stay up late playing checkers and say all the things we like about each other
Kidnapper, crying: Stark paid the ransom 3 days ago, please go home
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yutaan · a year ago
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Assorted Tony Stark drawings for @the-gabardine-fox that I somehow forgot to post for months?? 
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Peter, a Professional Gen Z kid, after realizing that Vision is literally an Internet in a humanoid form: Hey, mr. Vision.
Vision: Yes, Peter?
Peter: And they were roommates.
Vision, without hesitation: Oh my god they were roommates.
Tony: Wha-
———
Peter, throwing an empty Dr. Pepper can into the trashcan: THIS BITCH EMPTY
Vision, without looking up from his paprikash: YEET
Tony:
Tony: What.
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Peter, pointing at a trashcan he set on fire: *John Mulaney impression* This is an on-fire garbage can...
Vision, also pointing at a trashcan: Could be a nursery.
Tony, running towards the trashcan with a fire extinguisher: WHAT.
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lesbian-deadpool · 3 months ago
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Tony: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Tony: *Aggressively throws water bottles*
Y/N: Uh... what's up with him?
Harley: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
Tony: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Peter, crying: It's working.
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