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Honestly? We should have expected this.

Peter Parker, sipping his tenth cup of coffee: My life right now?

Interviewee, who is suffering from a cold, proceeds to look out the bedroom window, eyes set on the tall buildings. Such intensity is rather unsettling considering the young man is covered in blanket armour. Each one of us waits with held breaths, expecting some profound words. After all, this is Tony Stark’s ward.

Peter Parker, with a straight face: It’s that Miranda Cosgrove video where she falls asleep for ten seconds before the alarm rings. And lots of ramen from down the street. Nice place, you know. It’s family owned. A classmate works there, lets me hoard the leftover sushi.

Tony Stark, crouching by the doorway and shrieking into his hands as tears run down: What am I doing wrong? Also, what the fuck, Peter?

The philanthropist is soon comforted by his head of security, Happy.

Happy: At least we know he’s like you?

This causes more sobbing. Peter is distracted by the puppy Stark had given him a few weeks back. He then starts explaining quantum physics to the puppy. Tessa, the pitbull with a big heart, looks at him bewildered and then begins pawing at the Lego Death Star. Most definitely Tony Stark’s wards.

Stay tuned for more updates from the Daily Bugle.

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Peter: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Peter: But then I started thinking.
Peter: It was only trying to get food.
Peter: I mean, how would I feel if I opened the fridge and it just slammed the door on me and snapped my neck? 
Tony: …
Tony: Kid, are you okay? 

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Bardingbeedle requested stevetony at sunset :3

There’s orange streaks because I accidentally left it on top of a chalk drawing, dammit. Anyway I thought Tony must be used to looking thoughtfully outside the window.

→ Reblog to give me Validation
Support links in the comments ↓

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The Jar Of Dirt Fanfiction Contest / Prompt Challenge!! ❤️

Peter licks his lips and looks at Tony, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “I don’t want to sound like a horny college kid, I mean, I am-,” Peter chuckles, “-but, can we pick something from the jar again?” - Jar Of Dirt, Chapter 5.

Jar Of Dirt is the first work we wrote being twokinkybeans. This work, aside from the plot, means a lot to us. We wrote a near 100K in one month. It made us explore our own kinks, we discovered new ones. It brought us closer as friends and it helped us connect with all of you amazing people in the Starker fandom. We’re thrilled to be a part of the family!!!! You guys are literally the best ❤️❤️

We kinda miss this ‘little-but-not-so-little’ fic of ours and figured it’d be fun to organize a Jar Of Dirt prompt challenge!!

As some of you may know, Lien and I used an online program to stand in for our Jar Of Dirt (cause social distancing, we would’ve made an actual one if we could). For nearly every chapter, it was the program that decided what kink we were going to write! Now for the challenge, we want to do the same thing. There’s only so many we could cover, and so many more to explore😜🙈 So we’re not asking you to add chapters to our fic, cause well, yeah 🙈 We’re just using this as a set up for the challenge. You can take this wherever you like! Build your own world with it ^^ Basically everything goes, as long as Peter, Tony and the kink are included ^^

You can sign up by sending us a DM, and we’ll tell you all you need to know ^^ After signing up you’ll be given a video where you see the program picking your prompt! (It’s fun, honestly, it makes cheering noises and throws confetti at you 🙈). You write between 500 and 5000 words of the good stuff and post it on any platforms that has your preference! (Though, Tumblr or AO3 would be easiest). When everyone has posted their fics, the winner will be announced!

What do you win? A free pass to prompt us with literally anything you want, and we’ll write it for you!

And a gentle reminder: It doesn’t matter how much writing experience you have, everyone is welcome to compete (that is, if you’re 18+). Whether you have years of writing experience or never written anything before, it doesn’t matter! Come join in on the fun 😊😊❤️

You can sign up until June 12, 2020, and after receiving your prompt you have until June 30, 2020 to write and post! ^^ We can’t wait to see what y'all come up with!

- Lien & Kim

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When Peter realizes that Friday knows everything about Tony, he can’t help but ask questions. It starts innocent enough, but soon enough the questions become more… Sexual.

Warnings: Pining, masturbation, daddy kink, nff

“Friday, what’s Tony’s favorite color?”

“Friday, does Tony like pineapple on pizza?”

“Friday, how did Tony find out that I’m Spider-Man?”

Peter likes asking Friday questions about Tony. The habit had started a little over a year ago when he’d wanted to surprise his mentor with a nice cup of Starbucks - but had no clue what type he liked. He’d asked the AI. It was the fact that Friday answered it so smoothly that Peter realized how she knew everything about Tony. Like Google, but better. No rumors, no assumptions, only plain facts. How could Peter possibly let that opportunity slide? He’s curious by nature. If anything, it’s Tony’s fault for giving Peter permission to use the AI in the first place.
He’d been wary at first. Scared Tony might figure out how Peter was stalking him. Tony never said a word though. Didn’t treat him any differently. So Peter… Well, he figured he could start asking personal questions. Obviously, only slightly related to his crush on the man.

Keep reading

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Peter: *walks in practically bleeding out*
Tony: *sighs* You know what, I’m not even shocked anymore.
Peter: Aww…that’s no fun. 
Tony: Well, kid, this has kind of become the norm for you at this point. 
Peter: Huh. 
Peter: *heaves* Guess I’ll have to try harder next time. 
Tony: Oh god, please don’t. 
Peter: I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge. 
Tony: For the love of–

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Glee/Avengers parallels
Tony: This team wouldn't be a team if I wasn't here. I'm the heart of the Avengers and you all know that.
Steve: *rolls eyes* You're nothing but a man in a suit. I actually lead us because I'm the captain.
Rachel: Just as I am the strongest singer of the Glee club and I'm the best chance we have to win.
Mercedes: Oh please, we all know I have a voice just as strong. Or maybe even more.
Peter: I can easily do these missions! Stop giving me the easy jobs just because I'm younger!
Tony: Leave it to the adults, toddler.
Kurt: I can easily sing that song and hit those notes! Stop giving up on me just because I'm male!
Rachel: Leave it to the people with breasts, Kurt.
Santana: I can do anything and get anything I want from boys because I'm sexy. But secretly, I want Britteny.
Tony: I can have any woman I want because I'm a rich playboy. But all I want is Pepper.
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hey guys! i’m returning from a 3 year hiatus, and there’s like four posts on my dash, so i’m looking for new blogs to follow! reblog if you’re into any of these, and i’ll follow everyone who reblogs!

- marvel (comics and mcu)

- harry potter

- supernatural

- sherlock

- good omens

- the 100

- yoi

and some more!! i’m pretty open to new things, so don’t worry if you are multifandom, i’ll still follow LMAO

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The cast of Avengers: Infinity War sing their own version of “The Brady Bunch” theme song, “The Marvel Bunch.” 😂 | #AvengersInfinityWar 🎶 (2018)

Tag/share with Avengers fans! 🔥💪👇
Follow @official_captainamerica if you love Cap! 🇺🇸
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
📥 DM for Business/Promotions
Follow ▶️ @marvelavenger_ironman
Follow ▶️ @marvelavenger_thor
Follow ▶️ @marvelavenger_spiderman
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
@ChrisEvans | #CaptainAmerica #ChrisEvans #Actor #Avengers #IronMan #Thor #BlackWidow #SpiderMan #BlackPanther #America #Deadpool #BlackPanther #TonyStark #CaptainMarvel #Throwback #Loki #WinterSoldier #Thanos #Tbt #InfinityWar #Endgame #Photograpghy #Fitness #Workout #Healthy #InstaDaily #MCU #Marvel #Disney ⋆

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Monday Morning Hard Truth

Good things do not come to those who wait, they come to those who get off their ass and work for them.

You are not rewarded by having the best plan. Waiting until Monday, after your vacation, until the first, etc? Excuses. And to those that kill it every day, you sound like a dumbass.

The time will never be perfect. You feel like shit because you have been poisoning your body with bullshit forever. If you are waiting on how you feel to change, you have to change it.

Thinking about it is not enough. You can be miserable as fuck with how you feel and look, but unless you want to change it bad enough, you will just keep pouting.

Posting about it on Social Media isn’t doing it. You still have to go out and put the work in.

Being motivated is great, until you are not. Then what? What happens when you get out of that nice warm bed and you are exhausted? You didn’t sleep well? You are sore? The baby kept you up? You had a long day at work? That motivation doesn’t mean a whole fucking lot at that point. You have to find more than just a cute phrase online.

You cannot outwork poor eating, drinking, and shitty rest. How you look and perform is directly tied to how you eat. If you cannot put down the booze you will look like shit. If you think “I am not going to stop living” and you need booze for a good time, you have a fucking problem. Figure that shit out.

Oh so you have a day off? That means you should get a double workout in. Not skip it and eat like shit.

Cheat day? You have cheated your whole fucking life. Get your shit together and stop being a pussy.

You have a family and a job? No shit. We all do. Not an excuse.

You don’t have an hour or two to workout, but you have time for Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Netflix, TV, video games, texting, going out to eat. Okay, that makes sense.

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