Honestly? We should have expected this.
Peter Parker, sipping his tenth cup of coffee: My life right now?
Interviewee, who is suffering from a cold, proceeds to look out the bedroom window, eyes set on the tall buildings. Such intensity is rather unsettling considering the young man is covered in blanket armour. Each one of us waits with held breaths, expecting some profound words. After all, this is Tony Stark’s ward.
Peter Parker, with a straight face: It’s that Miranda Cosgrove video where she falls asleep for ten seconds before the alarm rings. And lots of ramen from down the street. Nice place, you know. It’s family owned. A classmate works there, lets me hoard the leftover sushi.
Tony Stark, crouching by the doorway and shrieking into his hands as tears run down: What am I doing wrong? Also, what the fuck, Peter?
The philanthropist is soon comforted by his head of security, Happy.
Happy: At least we know he’s like you?
This causes more sobbing. Peter is distracted by the puppy Stark had given him a few weeks back. He then starts explaining quantum physics to the puppy. Tessa, the pitbull with a big heart, looks at him bewildered and then begins pawing at the Lego Death Star. Most definitely Tony Stark’s wards.
Stay tuned for more updates from the Daily Bugle.