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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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ivytea · 1 year

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guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is living in MY heart.....

#pinocchio #illustration #cottagecore #del toro pinocchio #its tea times #OBSESSED with this movie but especially the first section where both gepetto and pinocchio are kind of unhinged #pinocchio is like a deranged little creature. instills genuine fear in the heart at first encounter. i lovb him #i bothered my friends into watching with me in theatres #explained so many times......we r watching pinocchio (del toro) ((NOT fruity))#and Yet.......every single one of them came up at sm point after the movie privately to tell me how pleased they were that #it was Normal and good #for the record i will be subjecting them to marathon of all other 2022 pinocchio incarnations over the holidays #where it will be FREE to witness their resignation in well lit environment #getting to this viewing was like unstoppable force (freak snowstorm) vs immovable object (our dedication to half price movie tuesdays)#with special guest appearance of our city flopping belly up whenever we get 0.5cm of snow cover

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cowpokezuko · 10 months

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Saw a post about jmart being a toxic relationship and like.. shocker the guy who who literally eats peoples trauma, therefore retraumatizing them, then lives in their nightmares forever and the guy who disappears when talking to people and purposely self isolates aren’t the perfect healthy boyfriends. Wow no one could have seen that coming. Would you prefer stabby girl and the girl who cant feel fear that have a little cult together, police brutality wolf x ruthless efficiency, or fire lady x fire massiah? perhaps evil eye man and his ex husband if we’re getting really wild?

#like wow the podcast about eating fear doesn't have perfect representation bc the characters are bad people #I am so surprised by this #I think Melanie and Georgie have objectively the healthiest relationship in the show #but none of them are going to be perfect because this isn't a show about being perfect #it's a horror podcast #jmart #jonmartin #the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #martin blackwood

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socksandbuttons · 1 month

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Hey Eclipse, please, I hope you can be as good a brother to Sun as you are to Lunar, if you can take care of and protect them both equally, I would be very grateful.

He does and is over protective but Lunar is able to assert himself pretty well (He's more afraid of Moon than most things-). They both worry for Sun. They also worry about Eclipse overworking himself.

#Lunar can hide his fear well enough until the object of he fears is there.#Sun can wear his heart on his sleeve and is safe to do so with them here #sams swap au #swap lunar #swap eclipse #sams lunar #myart

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carlyraejepsans · 2 months

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saw your most recent post about really good fics that contain uncomfortable kinks and i immediately thought "ah, biscia must be reading the mpreg soriel fic" and almost left a reply talking about it but i stopped myself because i realized that would be an insane assumption to make. needless to say i felt so vindicated when i saw you link it in an earlier post.

like. HELLO?

HELLO???????

#answered asks #''I fear nothing good ever comes of it when it does'' is straight up SEARED into my brain as the toriel line of all time I've ever read #there's some character interpretations I don't share there. like i said i don't think either of them would cry that easily #and while the different conception (badumtss) of sex/gender in various monsters was interesting #i felt like it didn't quite deal with the ramifications of not strictly binary reproductions on social perception of gender like I could've #eg the part about boss monsters being closer to humans in how it works and thus having a different concept of mom/dad compared to skeletons #was pretty nice. but if you establish that skeletons work like ghosts but distinguish she/he ''for some reason'' even though all of them #can bear kids. and then you make a comment about ''the child possibly growing into a woman considering the shape of the pelvis'' it's like #why??????? why. whywhywhy. why would that be a factor. even hypothesizing a certain physical dimorphism. WHY pick the one tied to pregnancy #the ONE ASPECT that you decided was shared between both ''male'' and ''female'' skeletons #it's also like. objectively an argument that is leveraged to hurt and deny trans people irl so it was just. unbelievably uncomfortable #this is what we mean with mpreg and transphobia btw #not that the concept is inherently transphobic or hurtful to trans people #but that that kind of alternative biological worldbuilding implies an alternative social conception of gender role for the characters #that a lot of authors just. straight up miss. because their view of the world is still very cis/perisexist #BUT!!!!!!!!!!#it was still over all a very good fic. I'd rec it to pll not into that for the initial 2 chapters alone

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beril66 · 2 months

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So I am reading banger character analysis of various necron characters from people like Ghost and Magistralucis so I wanted to put my two sents in about two things; the absolute HYPOCRISY of Orikan the Diviner and necrons as a whole;

Those who have read I&D no doubt remember the incredible Opera scene. It was probably the most profound part of the entire book; more than their hilarious feud , their team up aganist Orks and subsequent betrayals , their clashes of importance of culture and history and complete disregard of it even if its your own (put a pin on that we'll come back to this) , the heartwrenching flashes of memories or even the final kaiju battles at the end. These two old coots finally FINALLY have to breath methaphorically and just...talk.

Well mostly Orikan talks. Conveniently 'just' remembering it was Trazyn who dragged him into the biofurnaces (even if you think for a MOMENT it's while possible HIGHLY improbable.) So he engages Trazyn in the way it would impact him the most. Through cultural analysis. Both @ghostinthegallery and @magistralucis did analysis on these scenes better than I ever could and I want to a particular parts of Orikan's speech because even as I know practically nothing about 40k or necrons (I&D is my first 40k book) it always made me laugh out loud at the absolute GALL of it.

"Children of Important people, judging by their clothing, though Orikan had no interest in this world or its Byzantine ideas of hierarchy' and

"but we call each other low and bumbling because we are highly civilized"

I legit laughed myself silly here before the gut punch of their interaction continued because... the ridiculous amount of lack of self awareness and hypocrisy just absolutely stunned me.

This is the SAME species who before the biotransference killed each other for basically for sport.

The same species who calls those who are in the lower class as 'it' and has literal philosophical works that brings their SAPIENCE AND SENTIENCE into question (Aristotle would be PROUD)

The same species where a crown prince can get away with shooting 50 commoner soldier in the head as a 'LESSON IN RULING' .

Same species STILL in some cases look down on Imotekh the fucking Stormlord just because he is apparently a 'sandborne'.

Same species who turned their entire lives and culture into a death cult.

The same species who seem to ironically instead of uniting and searching for a cure of their condition just continue to paint galaxy in red with their own and other species blood.

The same race after Old Ones rejected them decided to not just fought aganist them but TRIED TO DESTROY EVERY OTHER PEOPLE THEY COME ACROSS until Old Ones kicked their asses enough.

Tangent here; I mostly agree Old Ones refusing to at least cure them of their cancers is a massive dick move but a counter argument can be made; if you saw a species like necrontyr spread in the galaxy conquering everything they see (and lets be honest here.. if they had vassal species they most likely treat them worse than any Sand born) and the only thing keeping them in check is their sickness , internal political bullshit and equevalant species...would you help them?

And after ALL OF THAT you just...turn each on other and start to REALLY go at it to the point you get the attention of hungry melicious star parasites.

After completely ignoring the increasingly desperate warnings of your almost always correct court astromancer and paint him as insane and a charlatan;

THEN these things, using higher echelon's desperation for eternal life fool you into turning your entire race into soulless terminators because suprise!! During your transformation of course the 'gods' duped you and not only they stuck you into sub-optimal metal coffins , not only (some lore bits implies nobility %100 aware and content) %95 precent of your population is lobotomized , not only you are made to forget %98 of your entire culture even forget where your homeworld is , not only you sacrificed every single class of your young children and will NEVER have future generations EVER, but the cherry on top of this shit cake is your souls are gobbled by said star parasites and also ALL of you, SK included turned into their slaves.

So you and your new masters start a 5 million years worth of war so horrific you give chaos such a power boost , killed about %80 of the galaxy , forced psykic frogs into tearing the first anus in reality and drove the possibly only species keeping the Chaos Gods in check into (possible) extinction. You fucked the afterlife for everyone else until the heat death of the universe in Milky Way.

After that little debacle you turn on your gods , fought them, shatter them (and 'kill' one that in some shape harmed the reality) then after seeing the absolute devestation your gods and kind inflicted go to 60 millions of years of sleep which lets be honest helped more than hurt as mental problems were cropping up BEFORE the end of the war (TDK)

Now you are waking up and did you learn ANYTHING from all of the 5 million worth of life experience?

They learned jackshit thats what happened. Every single sapient necron even the likes of Trazyn, even Zhandrekh are still making the SAME mistakes and inflicts same cruelties they kind always had done.

Trazyn is at the end of the day is a thief and a kidnapper. I&D happened BECAUSE he was so stubborn to steal that gem he wounded the World Spirit and caused the Deciever shard to gain enough power by sending some Aeldari souls his way before Slaanesh can take them. My guy killed an ENTIRE WORLD for a joke.

We all know the reason he is so obsessed with his work is to keep himself sane and have a purpose but just imagine the GOOD he can do. He library rivals the actual BLACK LIBRARY in universe. He tried to help at Cadia and it was amazing to see but at the end of the day even Trazyn didn't seem to grasp that the galaxy is dying in front of him and he can CHANGE that. Or unwilling. This is the worst attributes of the necrons; not caring when they actually really SHOULD.

Zhandrekh is as much as the setting allows is a good man. He could be considered kind even in Flesh Times. He is an honourable man. He is also a terrifyingly competent warlord serving Imotekh whose damage seems to be his insaitable desire to conquer and CONTROL (as much as we know GW for what? 8 years didn't characterized him other than "really clever , great general , obsession with proving his worth and control by dueling with strong opponents"). I think people forget about that about him. He didn't lost a SINGLE campaign aganist Imperium. My senile old sweet man is TERRIFYING.Not much more to say about him honestly he is a good dude in a horrific setting with dementia and married to his bodyguard.

Now lets come to Orikan. Orikan the Diviner is %100 has the right to be a resentful bastard to his own people. He tried so hard to stop the catasthrophy of biotransference. Not only he didn't succeed but they THROW HIM AGANIST HIS WILL into the fires.

What I really like about him however is while he is a venomous , back stabbing little bastard who takes a little too much pleasure of his people' suffering he has these...flashes that shows there is SOMETHING kinder underneath deep deep DEEP down. He didn't want to destroy Serenade. Interestinf thing about him is he only refers to humans as an "it" ONCE. And thats a corpse something even we do. These are very small but it shows Orikan ISN'T just a complete and utter douchbag XD

That being said Orikan abject denial of basically anything positive about anything or anyone necron or not shows how small minded he can be. His destruction of necrontyr artifacts, his dismissal of human anything without giving it a try (like apperantly SK prepared shadow puppet theater for palace kids? How is that a drivel Orikan???) Etc. He simultaneously despises everything necrontyr/necron that ISN'T his or Vishani's provess in their fields yet claims total superiority in everything Necrons do as he insults them. He is the single most hypocritical character bar chaos SM.

Don't get me wrong its a great character work and shows us how flimsy necron identity even is. Because minus general archetypes of their dynasties they have...none. Soulless God Killers isn't an identity. It's the curse of their entire species however metal (pun intended) it is to turn your treacherous gods into cattle. At the end of the day however advanced tech they possess or claims to have high manners (if they are sentient enough) or 'elegance' they are as barren as a civilization can get in all account bar tech.

And the fact that they can call themselves 'Civilized' making me giggle for the sheer absurdity of it BECAUSE they equate technological advancement as 'Cultured amd civilized'.

Necrons while I LOVE THEM and want them to have a happy ending (I want that for all species honetly everyone is horrible in 40k its okay :D) are the indisputed the WORST people in this shithole of a galaxy.

Imperium in many ways are lightyears ahead of us technologically would we call them civilized? Aeldari despite all their tech and arts were creating blood orgies on bodies of sacrificed children and I didn't met many people who would consider even the today's Crafworld Aeldari civilized.

Necrons are the same as these two. There is beside technology and cultural ticks no difference between them. Orikan calls the class system of Serenade 'Byzantine ideas' while he himself is subjected to the EXACT SAME THING in Mendragora court.

So if we rib on the Imperium and Aeldar...why shouldn't we on necrons?

All the races of the Milky Way are sides of a multi-faced coin (except Tyranids obviously). Bloodthirsty , cruel savages with certain exceptions in characters because they are marginally less shitty than the rest (Trazyn , Zhandrekh , Oltyx , Yenekh , Eldrad , Vulcan , Farsight , Shadowsun , Jaghatai Khan etc.) Who wants the same thing.

Necrons are just the most delusional of them all and its so tragic it loops back around to being funny. All races have fell from grace in Warhammer. The Necrontyr might be the only race started with very little redeeming qualities though. And the have not changed a SINGLE BIT in 65 fucking MILLION YEARS besides Oltyx (who because the Flayer King. A literal flesh tearing and wearing monster) . A single character. This is beyond horrific when you think about it.

Ironically in 40k DAOT humans might have been the most civilized race ever existed. They had peace treaties with ORKS. Interex have not eradicated Mega-arachnids just banished them to a world where they can live and let live. Diasporex just wanted to be left alone. Humanity even Aledari used to have compassion. Necrontyr and necron minus few never had that as a SOCIETY. Not to their own NOT to others. (I am not humans fuck yeah! In the slightest but...history speaks for itself)

And with their souls gone it seems something needs to shake them up so badly to start actual REFLECTION of eho they have been/who they are. Because with the way the are going...their minds will give long before their bodies do.

Sooo...this is my 'analysis' of the hypocrisy of Orikan and Necrons as a whole considering them so above all despite being in the same mudpit wirh other races. Would love to hear your opinions do you agree? Disagree?

#necrons #warhammer 40k #orikan the diviner #trazyn the infinite #necrons are objectively the most pitiable race in 40k #they feared death so so much yet even after become what they are they are still terrified #take reanimation protocols from them and you can make them to practically ANTHING #their society was a fucking nightmare as necrontyr #at least the commoners have no mind to suffer anymore #'Allegedly' because certain lore bits implies they ARE basically suffering from. 'locked in syndrome #thats a face I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy #like they legit basically killed EVERY SINGLE CHILD #when you think about it #Oltyx was about 17-18 . I think really young ones like 11-12 regardless of class turned into a warrior #I love them but boy do they pathetic as a species #Sad depressed skeletons needs a collective reality check #i love them anyway

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pregtboy · 1 year

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preg dumbification is so good. boys getting more n more emptyheaded as their bellies grow until they're eventually just perfect cute little baby machines who can only think about birthing and nurturing

#they say you attract what you fear #ahhh asks about empty head breeding obsessed bimboys ahhh i'm so afraid please no one send them to me #txt #mine #boy #pregnancy kink #tmpreg #boys who are baby factories in general are just so 🥰🥰🥰 like i love a boy being reduced to a object for reproduction

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lilacs-stash · 4 months

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If Nickel and Suitcase end up being okay and friends again you better promise me were aren't going to sibling headcanon them okay? We aren't gonna have Microknife 2.0 okay?!

#ii fandom neg #inanimate insanity #I need them to be okay so bad however I also fear people doing this #Object posting #discourse #< ish #II nickel #II suitcase

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blitz0hno · 5 months

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kotoko opposes getting in the way of someone's dream unless their dream is to be a Slut lol

#milgram #milgram project #kotoko yuzuriha #hell bent on putting herself on the same level as the guard #helpless to know she already is #no doubt angry Es has more objective power either way #clearly afraid of the others' potential “power” over others as well #here we have a woman who fears and loves humanity as a dog does #she's John's complement through and through #deep cover spoilers #YONAH spoilers #the MV is going to be nuts #I love this project #coulda done without relating to All of Them in some way shape or form but I think that speaks to the quality #Kotoko you're such a bitch I love you but chillllll lol

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izzyspussy · 23 days

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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting

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good-beanswrites · 9 months

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heyo!! i thought I sent this in already, but I guess not o.O

for the writing ask game, morning! :D

Woo thank you pal! :D Fingers crossed for an upcoming inno sweep, have something with Kazui and Fuuta in the morning

(From this ask game)

Kazui's body remembered the sunrise. His mind wouldn't have thought much of it, stuck in a place like this, but his body pulled him from sleep at the same time each morning as if he were still in the habit and standing on the balcony watching the sun with his morning coffee.

He couldn't quite replicate the experience, though not for lack of trying. He'd dress, pick up whatever drink he could grab from the dining hall before it officially opened for breakfast, then move to the common room to sit and enjoy the morning in solitude. Even Kotoko, the next earliest riser, wouldn't make an appearance for an hour or so.

Which is why he nearly spit out the orange juice he'd swiped when Fuuta strolled in just after him and sat himself down directly next to him. It looked like his little silent retreat was out of the question for the day.

"Can I sit here?" Fuuta said, already taking a seat. He rubbed his good eye groggily.

"Uh, sure! I'd love the company." Kazui nodded to him, trying to hide the surprise in his face. He must have failed. Or maybe Fuuta would have leapt to defend himself regardless.

"I couldn't sleep, okay? I hear you come out here at the ass crack of dawn every day, I just wanted to see what you were up to."

Kazui gestured a hand across the empty room with a dry smile. "Just this, sorry to disappoint."

It was easiest to leave it at that. He wasn't sure how to articulate the reason early mornings were so sacred to him -- the peace and the solitude and the ability to be himself without a single expectation put on him. He could take some time to prepare himself for the day ahead without putting up any airs for anyone. It probably would've sounded pathetic to a kid like him, anyways. He was always so full of energy, Kazui doubted he'd need more than a minute to get himself ready for his day.

Fuuta sank deeper into his hoodie. "Hmph."

The two fell silent. Kazui grew antsy as he sipped his drink. At first it had been nice, sitting in something reminiscent of his old fishing trips. But he didn't think Fuuta appreciated the quiet the same way. Was he looking to talk? Was he waiting for more from him? Kazui had never wanted kids -- not like Hinako had dreamed of them -- so he didn't know the first thing about starting a conversation with someone his age.

As he scrambled for something to say, Fuuta whispered. "It's nice."

"Hm?"

"This. No prying eyes, nobody trying to start shit."

Kazui didn't mention that Fuuta was usually the one starting shit.

"I hope I didn't interrupt."

"Not at all! I'm glad you think it's peaceful too."

"Yeah... I do."

This time when neither of them spoke, there was no anticipation in it. Kazui breathed deep. His thoughts were allowed to drift freely. His mind felt at ease. He closed his eyes. Though there was no need to, he found himself opening his mouth.

"You know, I didn't realize how much I'd miss the sunrise."

Fuuta shifted. "Eh, I never saw it. I usually slept pretty late." He added, "I'm sorry you miss it, though."

"Thanks. I just hope I'll see it again..."

He wondered if the thought was too suddenly sentimental, but Fuuta nodded gravely. "I hope so too."

By the time prisoners started trickling into the common area, Kazui was calm and ready to begin his day. Fuuta stood to leave.

"Thanks for letting me hang out," he said.

"Heh, I should be thanking you. I didn't expect anyone to stick around for a boring old man like me."

Fuuta's expression twisted up. There was the energy Kazui had been expecting. "Jeez, you keep thinking you're so special! You're just like everyone else, you hear? You're not some boring old man no one likes. There's a lot of people just like you. A lot of us are just like you."

Kazui sat for one more moment after he left. He took the final sip of his drink.

A lot of them just like him? Now, that was a nice thought.

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #fuuta kajiyama #ah thanks for the request pal :))#i keep trying to delve more into characters' thoughts instead of just sticking to objective action but i keep leaning that way lmao #but yeah in the hopes of his voting swinging innocent i tried to peek into kazuis mind a bit :3 #i think he and fuuta have a lot of similarities (hiding themselves and performing an identity out of fear - cowardly - uhh gay)#and ive been meaning to write something positive between them because kazui saved him #i hope you enjoy!! they deserve a nice peaceful morning inside milgram with all the shit going on outside adfdsf #gonna write some yuno drabbles at my partners request next but feel free to send in something 👍#drabbles

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