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#is funny cause i get like this when i feel so overwhelemed
pepsimaxolotl · 1 year
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11, 14, 29?
idk why that text is so big, i cannot seem to change it
11, 14, 29?
yeah i had that issue to! You just need to add text next to the number
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what I have a spotify playlist im slowly building up with almost all music i listen to ever on it, and I listen to it when I'm doing anything. (I literally just stopped listening to it cause i was sensory overwhelemed) I wont be dropping it because i feel very self concious about my music tatse. However if I need a different pace or if I'm in front of someone i usually just pull up video game osts. Splatoon, stardew valley, hollow knight and general nintendo compilations are go tos.
14. Any favorite motifs I feel like I havent been creating enough for myself to feel like I have any motifs in my drawing super present. So ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Funny creatures?
29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically
A big drive to any media I get into is the artistic merit. Its a good chunk of why a lot of my media is animated shows and video games (generally things that are drawn) and music I like inspires my writings.
To me the gap between like and love is wether it inspires me artistically.
I really wish I could give you a half baked answer but everything I think of has me wondering wether I do draw inspiration from it or just agreeing its definately a like. Best I can do is avatar the last airbender but now that I think about it I've definately pulled creative material from it in the past.
Sorry for vaguely dodging all your questions! I am an enigma to me and just generally anxious fdauds
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91percentpynch · 3 years
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Jean‘s first Winter Barquet without the Ravens
look i have this in my head for a while now, so i thought i might as well share it with you guys!! i have absolutely no idea where this is going, guess will find out:) jerejan isn‘t a thing yet in this headcanon, but please keep in mind that they ARE in love,,, we will see where they‘re going,,, also please keep in mind that i never took french so if the french terms are wrong i‘m sorry <33
jean only owns the suits he was forced to wear with the ravens. obviously he had no time to take it with him and no one would bother to give him the few things he actually owned back, so he has nothing to wear
as he has a mental breakdown because the thought of meeting his ex-teammates alone gives him anxiety jeremy walks in, smiling softly as he asks ��so i guess we should get you a nice suit for tonight. are you bringing someone by the way?“
the moment he sees jean on the floor he goes over to him and sits down next to him on the floor
„is there something that would make you feel better?“ jeremy asks quietly. „need a hug? or something else?“
jean just holds out his hand, a silent question jer quickly answers by taking his hand and softly squeezing it
„we got this dude, don‘t worry i‘ll keep you safe“ jeremy whispers as jean is trying to stop his sobs
„how exactly do you plan to stop them?“ jean asks, with a thick french accent he gets when his panic attacks are especially bad
„oh, a man never tells his secrets. you will see when we need to find out“, jeremy laughs.
they stay in that position for a while before slowly getting up to go to the mall to get jean a suit
when they sit in the car and jeremy‘s about to start his car he asks jean if it‘s okay to listen to music, or if he‘d rather have it quiet
„music, because quiet reminds me of them“, jean whispers, ashamed that he would allow to show weakness to his captain
„music it is my dude“, jeremy says and puts on his french playlist. „thought you might like that“, he looks flashing a grin at jean
jer obviously knew jean liked it, jean told jer about his love to music/ french music when they started talking, he told him it calms him down
jean just puts his head against the window, looking at nothing in peticular
at the mall they go into the first store who sells suits (because they‘re slightly stressed to make it back in time, they‘re both masters in procastination)
„okay so i thought of something, cause shopping for clothes is always super boring. so we both choose something for the other person and try it on together. you don‘t have to take my choice but you have to at least try it on“
„but you have terrible taste, jeremy. terrible“
„well than you can only improve the way i look, can‘t you?“, jer replies with a wink, „and my taste is perfectly fine“
jean doesn‘t reply to that, as the only thought in his head „everything is perfect about you, everything but the way you dress“, but he will not say such things to his captain
jeremy takes his lack of an answer as a yes and disappears to look for suits
sharing a dom for a few months and the fact that jer leaves his stuff lying around jean knows jer‘s size
not that he would be interested in jeremy, not that he would spend hours on end thinking about his captain
jean picks out a navy blue suit and a light grey bow tie which happens to have the exact same color as his eyes
slowly he goes looking for jeremy, who waits for him in front of the dressing rooms with his characteristic toothy grin
„okay show me what you got“, jer says when jean is within earshot
jean hands his finding over without a word - blushing a bit
jer takes it, hands jean a suit and diappears in the changinng room
jean slowly goes in the one next to jer and changes in the suit jer gave him
once he‘s done he looks at himself in the mirror
jeremy chose a light grey suit with a navy blue suit
they unintentionally match
when jean leaves the changin room, jer is already waiting, happily chatting with an employee about the exy season
he stands there awkwardly looking at jeremy, not saying a thing, until jeremey turns around and notices him
jeremy gives him a once over and nods satisfied with himself
„we‘re matching, i like that“, he says softly, blushing
„i have to admit, this is not as terrible as i thought it would end up to be. you look faboulous, no wonder when i pick out your outfit“
„well, you look rad as fuck my dude. you‘re definetly buying that, well not you but coach. coach told me to get us some nice suits, apparently the one i own is - i quote - ‚a unnecessary threat to society‘“
„he isn‘t wrong though“, jean says, a small smile on his lips.
„holy shit you‘re smiling, i either said something unbelieveable stupid or funny. i thought i had to talk french again to make you feel better“
jeremy took french as soon as he knew jean would come to the trojans so he could talk to jean in private, if needed to
„please don‘t. your french is terrible“, jean replies, his smile only getting bigger at the thought of jer‘s terrible pronounciation
„hey“, jer says jokingly offended
they change back in their regular clothes, pay the suits and head back to their dorm
„you wanna listen to that french music while we pack for tonight?“, jeremy asks quitely when they close their dorm door behind them
jean can only nod, his panic slowly growing
on the way to palmetto state - where the winter barquet will take place this year - jeremy sits next to jean
when jer notices jean getting nervouse/ anxiouse he offers him his hand
„my mom used to hold my hand when i was anxious, said she‘d keep me safe. thought it might help you as well“, jer is blushing again, avoiding jean‘s eyes
jean takes jer‘s hand without comment, thinking how soft they are over and over and over again
„why didn‘t you bring a date? i bet the ladies would kill someone to go on an event like that with a guy like you?“, jean asks jeremy in a sorry try to distract himself from the ever rising anxiety
„i‘m not into girls, first of all. and secondly i might like someone who would not be ready to with me there and i will not force them to do anything when they are clearly not ready“
jean pretty much stopped paying attention when jeremey said he was into guys
„what do you mean by ‚a guy like me‘?“, jer asks winking
„oh you know, unbelieveably annoying, decent looking, kind. isn‘t that what girls are into these days? i wouldn‘t know, all we got to be interested in was exy, exy, exy“, jean whispered, blushing
„annoying, huh?“, jer laughed.
jean didn‘t know what to reply so he decieded to stare out the window - definetly NOT thinking about how beautiful jeremy‘s eyes look in the stupid light of the bus
„hey wanna listen to the french music again? someone told me lately that my pronunciation is shit, so i need to listen to it anyways as this french guy won‘t help me out. we can share my headphones if you want?“
jean had never seen jeremy so shy, and he had to admit jer is even more adorable and attractive that way
not that jean would pay that much attention to jeremy knox
jean just nods unable to form a word, yet a sentence
when he put the headphone in his ear, he leans his head against the window and shortly after that falls asleep
when they arrived at palmetto state, jer wakes jean up softly
jean didn‘t let go of jer‘s hand - his grip only tightening- until they reached the home locker room where they would put their stuff and get changed for the barquet
„don‘t worry, i will keep you safe. i will punch anyone who looks at you funny“, jeremy whispers to jean when jean struggled to close the buttons of his shirt
jean‘s hand wouldn‘t stop shaking so jeremy closed the buttons of jean‘s shirt for him
jean suddenly gets very inappropriate thoughts while silently watching jer buttoning his shirt
„ready.“ jean answers, taking jer‘s hand
„ready?“ jer asks, holding out his hand, when they are changed
as soon as they entered the court jean looks for renee, in order to Not Look at the raven‘s table
obviously renee would spot him immediatly and drag her girlfriend alison with her to greet him
renee hugs him tightly completly ignoring jeremy
„i missed you, skyping just isn‘t enough j. you gotta visit me sometime. anyways i asked wymack to sit the foxes and the trojans together, so you can sit with me and tell me everything“, she said softly against his chest with a grin on her face.
jean isn‘t used to people being happy to see him so he is lowkey overwhelemed
„o- okay, but you gotta let me go first“
renee lets go almost immediatly, taking his other hand
it‘s only then that she notices jeremy
„oh god you two are matching, alison look they are matching“, she says excitedly
but alison only has eyes for her gorgeous girlfriend
jeremy laughs quietly while renee drags them to their seats
jean takes the place next to renee, jeremey sits next him, across from jean sits matt boyd, to matt‘s left kevin day and to matt‘s righ is dan
jean only focuses on renee though
they talk about school, their free time activities, the exy season, renee‘s plans for when she‘s done with college
jean does not let go of jeremy‘s hand until dinner arrives
they eat in silence, everyone‘s too busy with the delicous food
after everyone‘s done with dinner the tables are getting moved to the sides of the court, christmas music starts to play, someone brings the punch in and everyone starts to socialise
people are bringing their dates on the dance floor to slow dance under the mistletoes
„do you, uhm, do you maybe wanna dance with me?“, jer asks aggressivly blushing
„you wanna dance with me? what would the person you talked about on the bus would say to that?“, jean answers, having had a punch or two too much to calm his nerves
„that‘s what i‘m trying to find out right now actually“, jeremy replies shyly
„wait i‘m the mysterious guy you like? why?“, jean is suddenly not so drunk at all, rather confused than anything else
„dude have you looked in a mirror lately? i‘ve had a crush on you since i first saw you on court. started out as a stupid little crush, but then you started to live with me, play exy with me and i got to know you. you are so strong, so funny if you let yourself be, you are talented and so much more. i would add ‚good dancer‘ to that list, but you‘d have to dance with me for that“, jer says still blushing, avoiding his eyes
„okay, then let‘s show these losers how to dance“, jean replies, a small smile on his lips
jeremy knox liked him the way he liked him jeremy knox liked him the way he liked him jeremy knox liked him the way he liked him
so they ended up slow dancing at the edge of the dance floor
laila and renee saw them and took a quick picture of them before leaving them be
eventually it was only jean and jeremy, no ravens, no teams, no exy court
„i wanna see the stars“, jean says, suddenly having the urge to see the bright spots against the dark sky. needing to show jeremy, to make him understand
„i think it‘s okay when we disappear for a second“, jeremy says against his chest, as he still leans against jean from the slow dancing
so jean leads them out and as soon as they are outside he searches the night sky for the stars
when he found them jean points at them and says „look at the stars. you are the stars. you are bright and people look for you, people love you, people want to be with you. me? i‘m the night sky. i‘m dark, people are afraid of me. i am nothing worth looking at“
„jean, you are none of the things you said right now. if no one else i would always come looking at you. you are not dark. you surrived darkness and you came out of it. you surrived. you made it. and i am so unbelieveably proud of you. you are so strong and beautiful and if no one else, i want to be with you“
jean never cried, not when his parents sold him and homesickness almost killed him, not when riko tortured him, not when kevin left him alone in that hellhole, but this? silent tears are running down his cheeks
jer‘s hand is reaching up to his face to put them away, but he stops a few inches away, asking „may i?“
jean only asks
jeremy softly puts jean‘s tears away with his thumb
„i really wanna kiss you, can i kiss you?“, jeremy asks softly.
jean is unable to say a single word so he just nods and leans in to jer
and that‘s the story of their first ever kiss
it‘s also the story why jean calls jer „mon étoile“
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