#is it a result of him losing many personal things in his life like relationships and previous possessions bc of moving around

[feeder86]

Train to Gain

“I want to get jacked!” Jay declared, standing in front of his new personal trainer with his chest puffed out.

Matt nodded, having heard the same thing many times from plenty of guys like Jay, in their early twenties. “Okay, so we’re aiming for muscle gains,” he clarified, making a note of it. “Is there a reason why you want to make this your focus?” he asked, seeing from Jay’s body that he already had a pretty good build that most guys would have been envious of.

Jay nodded. “I’ve just split up with a girl I’ve been with since high school,” he stated without a drop of remorse or sorrow. “I feel like I want to finally do something for myself. You know what I mean? I want to look good. Muscular. Lean.”

Matt nodded. So, just like all the other guys, this one believed that getting more muscle on him would help him score with the ladies. He didn’t need a PhD to crack that little mystery about the boy’s true intention. It was a tale as old as time itself. 

Being so muscular himself, guys like Jay seemed to gravitate towards Matt on an almost daily basis, knowing that he could deliver the results they wanted. They saw his statuesque physique in the gym and felt that working out with a guy as built as he was was akin to ordering that body type for themselves in a catalogue. But Matt was not convinced by this latest client. Jay was a pretty-looking boy, with large soulful eyes and a gentle innocence about him. He wouldn’t be single for long. Some girl would come along, snap him up, and this whole muscle workout craze would be a thing of the past for him.

Nevertheless, Matt settled down to a detailed conversation about what it would take, the commitment Jay would need to make and the amount of sessions he would arrange with him each week. It was obvious that Jay had all the enthusiasm for his goals, but little knowledge of how to actually get there. “We’ll take things slow to begin with,” he smiled. “Then we’ll see how we get on.”

Seeming pleased, Jay shook Matt’s hand and threw his workout bag over his shoulder to leave. Then, as Jay was walking out of the gym, Matt watched as the eyes of every woman in there drifted towards his cute, tight glutes in his fitted gym shorts. Matt chuckled, nodding knowingly. It may have been Jay’s first time being single in his adult life, but it wouldn’t take the pretty boy long to work out that he didn’t need any more muscle to get women. Three weeks, maximum, Matt predicted. There was no way Jay would be paying for his services for longer than that; not when he didn’t need to.

Matt was aware that he was in the minority when it came to enjoying those winter months. But as the holidays came and went, he jumped out of bed with a renewed spring in his step, knowing that the gym would be fit to bursting with chubby, overweight and under-exercised guys trying to make a fresh start for the New Year. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly it was that he loved about them so much: that doughy shape, the jiggle of fat as they strolled on the treadmills. Maybe it was the way their sweat made their tight gym clothes stick to their rounded bodies . Matt was both mesmerised and fascinated by it all at the same time. 

It was around this time of year that he had met his now ex-boyfriend who had been trying to lose a few pounds back then. He’d copped a lot of crap from his colleagues at the gym for dating someone so big, and he’d had to challenge them multiple times for their attitudes towards the match. So what if he was into bigger guys? Whose business was it who he dated? Certainly not theirs. Not that any of it mattered in the end. Nine months in and the whole relationship had fallen apart anyway. His heart broken, just as they had all been expecting,

“Alright! That was pretty good!” Matt marvelled a staggering twelve weeks later, as Jay successfully squatted his biggest weight yet. He slapped the guy on his shoulder and passed him his water. “You’re killing it!” he smiled encouragingly.

“But I don’t look any different yet,” Jay grumbled, repeating the same complaint that had surfaced again and again in their recent sessions. “Sure, I’m a little stronger, but not much.”

“We’re taking it slow, remember,” Matt stated calmly. “You were quite clear from the start that you wanted to add muscle the lean way. It just takes a little more time.”

“But what’s the alternative?” Jay asked.

“Proper bulking,” Matt replied. “You give your body all the calories it needs to grow. We discussed this in our first meeting, remember?” he explained, a little exasperated. “You were insistent. You wanted a lean muscle bulk.”

“I want to be bigger,” Jay shot back.

“If you go with the bulking option, you’d have to accept the fact that not all of the gains you make would be muscle,” Matt tried to clarify.

“But I saw this guy online…” Jay began, rambling yet again about some viral influencer who claimed to know it all about how to get ripped with ease.

Matt bit his tongue. He genuinely liked Jay, but he was fed up of trying to debunk all of the insane fitness myths clients came in with these days. He was only twenty seven, and yet he wondered how much longer he could stand to do this job when there was so much misinformation out there. “Look, let’s just try it,” he suggested forcefully, cutting Jay off mid sentence. “I’ll set you up with a bulking plan and we’ll see what happens. If you’re not happy after a couple of weeks, you can fire me and send all your money to those online fitness con artists instead,” he stated plainly.

Still not seeming overly convinced, Jay nodded. “Okay. We’ll try this your way…”

“So, have you got much planned for your week off?” Matt asked Jay a good few weeks later. He’d found that he didn’t struggle with small talk as much with Jay as he did some of his other clients. They seemed to share the same sense of humour and had successfully recommended more than one decent TV show to each other in the past.

“I’m going to a wedding,” Jay answered, sitting himself back ready to lift.

“A wedding, huh?” Matt asked, loading on the weights ready. “That’s a great place to meet girls,” he said, finding it bizarre that Jay was still single after all this time.

“Not a chance!” Jay chuckled, lifting his hands up to grab the bar. “I told you, I’m done with all that.”

“Whatever you say!” Matt chuckled back; his eyes catching sight of Jay’s stomach as the guy’s t-shirt rose, ready for the lift. He could tell that the bulking diet was well underway, with a padded thickness around Jay’s middle, bulging to the sides to form what many might consider the beginnings of love handles.

Jay lifted like never before. After one set he insisted that Matt make the bar even heavier again; grunting with the extreme effort it took.

“You did it!” Matt marvelled, finally setting the bar back minutes later. “I can’t get over how quickly you’re progressing now.”

Jay sat up, spreading his legs wide and owning the space he was in. It was a feeling Matt knew all too well: the sense of power and size after lifting more than ever before. “This bulking is really working, isn’t it?” Jay smiled.

“It is!” Jay nodded, trying to mask his surprise at just how much more noticeable Jay’s extra thickness was around his waist when he sat up like this. There was no way the guy was going to stick out the full bulking period; the boy seemed genetically predisposed to carry a tight little paunch at this size. Already Matt could sense the cut was on the horizon.

Once again, Matt’s predictions fell flat on their face. As more weeks went by, Jay was very quickly becoming one of Matt’s strongest clients. However, it was all coming at quite a cost to the guy’s naturally athletic physique. Built around a solid core, Jay’s chunky middle was rounded and significantly paunch-like in appearance, despite being somewhat muted by the large chest and muscular shoulders that had grown alongside it. If Jay had been going for that muscular V-shaped back, he had fallen far short of the mark. His stout tummy had swelled out his love handles to a size that could not be hidden by pretty much any of the t-shirts that he wore in the gym. Matt had even seen the guy out and about upon occasion, feeling shocked at just how thick and overfed he actually looked; especially with that meaty swagger he had about him, artificially pushing out his arms to increase his width.

“And, we’ll finish with twenty minutes on the treadmill,” Matt declared during their next session, waiting for the exhausted guy to sluggishly pick himself up off the weight machine.

“The treadmill?” Jay asked, as if Matt had been joking. “I’m not paying for you to watch me on the treadmill for twenty minutes,” he laughed.

“You do realise that we’re going to be putting a lot more cardio exercises into your routine from now on? We agreed to start cutting from next week, remember?”

Jay brushed him off, insisting that he could do another set on the machine he was currently on. The rest of the session continued in that manner until the time was depleted. Then a sweaty, beefy looking Jay simply lifted a protein shake to his mouth and began chugging.

“What’s in that thing?” Matt asked, noticing that it was far thicker than any of the recipes he had supplied to Jay. He took it from Jay’s limp hand and held it to his nose. “That’s so sweet!” he gasped, recoiling slightly. Swirling the remaining third in the bottle, Matt declared with absolute certainty that this was not part of the diet plan he had given Jay.

“I found the recipe online,” Jay shot back, snatching the shake back and draining it quickly. “I drink four of these daily. Your shake recipes were good, but I wasn’t packing on the muscle half as quickly as I am now.”

Matt winced. Jay had been heading in the wrong direction for weeks now; his muscle gains overshadowed by significant increases in fat. And Matt had been ignoring it all, pushing it to the back of his mind, denying it. “Have you got the recipe for me to look at?” he asked diplomatically.

Jay lazily held out his hand for Matt to pass him his cell phone from his bag. Then, after a couple of seconds, the webpage link came buzzing through to Matt.

“Um…” Matt mumbled, feeling his heart beating with worry. “Have you really been drinking these four times a day? Did you not think to check out the ingredients? All that sugar? Condensed milk?”

“I’m not an idiot!” Jay grumbled back, as Matt noticed the fat that was starting to build up under the handsome boy’s chin and into his cheeks. “These things promise results and they deliver. I’ve gained 25 lbs in the last two months alone!”

Matt took a step back, feeling that he had let Jay down more than any other client he had ever had. Yet, somewhere deep inside of him was a spark of attraction. Jay was starting to look genuinely fat. It was literally spreading across his entire body and had been doing so for weeks.  “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled guiltily. “I should have been more on top of your diet planner. This should never have happened.”

Jay seemed utterly perplexed by Matt’s remorse, but he agreed to pack up his stuff and head out to a local cafe for a more thorough debrief. They sat with two coffees at a small table near the front as Matt considered how best to insist that Jay quit the shakes as soon as possible.

Matt thought he had his speech all ready to go. He inhaled, ready to begin, when he suddenly noticed that Jay’s attention was elsewhere. A large, overweight guy had come in through the door, making Jay look across with interest. Matt followed his gaze and then cringed with regret, realising that the man was none other than his ex boyfriend, Chris. They had just made eye contact.

“I’m really sorry about this!” Matt blasted out, realising that his almost 400 lb ex was heading over to the table and there was nothing that he could do to stop him.

“Hello Matt,” the large bellied guy smiled. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah,” Matt nodded, not looking directly at him in the hopes that he would soon get the message and leave them be. “Nice to see you, Chris,” he lied.

“I gained a bit of weight recently,” Chris went on, patting his fat stomach. “I’d love to show you some time.”

“I’m actually with a client right now!” Matt hissed, losing patience. “When I said that things were over between us, I meant it.”

Chris looked down at them both, giving Jay in particular the most filthy of looks. Then he turned, deciding that the coffee house was no good after all and disappeared out of the door.

“Who was that?” Jay exclaimed the second the guy’s large form had disappeared beyond the windows. 

“My ex,” Matt sighed, feeling frustrated that they should bump into each other here; whilst he was with a client no less! “We broke up about eight months ago.”

“You? And HIM?” Jay asked in disbelief, making it hard for Matt to tell whether it was the fact that he dated guys that most surprised Jay, or the sheer size of that ex-boyfriend. Either way, it became the focus of a long line of questions that Matt was finding difficult to deflect.

“I’ve made a decision,” Jay finally declared as they at last got off the topic of Matt’s love life. “I want to keep the bulk going for another six weeks.”

“I would very strongly advise against that,” Matt replied immediately.

“Six more weeks!” Jay laughed, as if he was making the simplest of alterations to their training plan. “It’s nothing! You need to learn to relax, buddy!”

Matt sighed. Perhaps because he was still reeling from coming face to face with Chris again, he did not feel especially inclined to argue. Jay was a client after all, and his wishes had to be respected - even if he was making a choice that Matt knew would make it significantly harder for the guy to get back in shape afterwards.

Just as Matt had anticipated, the weight that poured onto Jay’s body over the coming weeks was nothing more than pure fat. He’d find himself staring at it, having never felt so conflicted in his life. He was attracted by fat on a guy’s body, yes. But Jay was also a client who was confused by all of the bad advice out there and had caught himself up in a pattern of weight gain that was bloating his previously toned body. The sight of it, Matt had to admit, was nothing short of wildly arousing.

“He’s one of yours isn’t he?” asked one of the other trainers as Jay walked in for his training session wearing a t-shirt that was significantly too tight for his bloated torso. The guy braced himself against the wall to stretch out his calves, not realising how much his shirt had ridden up in the process and exposing a good three inches of his new, overfed tummy pushing itself over the waistband.

“Great work, Matt,” sneered Harry, the other male trainer, giving him a sarcastic slow clap as the three of them all watched Jay from a good distance.

Matt wanted to explain how he hadn’t been to blame; how Jay had found bad advice online instead, and was continuing to bulk against his advice. However, there was a strange thrill in not saying anything at all; something that Matt could not explain, even if he tried. 

Next, Jay began squatting, spreading his chunky legs wide apart with the good posture that Matt had taught him, then lifting his body up and down. It was a simple move and not at all noteworthy but for the extreme tightness of the shorts he was wearing, pulling the waistband lower and lower at the back, revealing more and more of his butt crack with each dip; thanks in part to the similarly undersized underwear he had on underneath.

“Ugh!” laughed Harry.. “No one wants to see that!”

Matt looked around at the others in the gym. Jay was indeed getting looks of disapproval, and even disgust, for his scandalously tight clothing.

“You need to have a word,” the trainers all agreed. “He’s putting people off. It’s bad for business.”

Matt sighed. He knew what they were saying was right, but how could he even begin a conversation about it to a client who was paying him? Especially one he was starting to crush on in the most inappropriate of ways.

Despite Jay’s confidence on the weights, it was quite clear during that session that the guy wasn’t making as much progress with his lifting than he obviously thought he was. In fact, his lifting had peaked almost two months earlier and there had been minimal successes since then. What had changed was the amount of sweating Jay was doing; leaving the machines with a damp imprint of his overfed rear which Matt wiped down each time. But with the sweating, Jay’s clothing tightened around him even more. Matt didn’t need to see Jay on the scales, he was an expert on every part of his body, knowing exactly how it was altering because he could see it right there, before his very eyes. He had to breathe a little deeper when he felt the arousal getting too much for him. Jay’s butt was pure perfection; shaped by good genes and some decent early muscle gains, but now swelling and widening with the pounds and pounds of fat the guy was amassing.

Jay had been buzzing about his new apartment; finally allowing him to get out of parents’ place. It was going to make bulking a lot easier, he’d declared, making Matt feel uneasy about how much more extreme his client may take things.

“I’ve got boxes and boxes of stuff all over the place,” Jay complained. “I need a good sort out, really. It’s just so easy to dump it all in the closet and forget about it though.”

“That reminds me,” Matt jumped in, seeing an opening and seizing upon it. “I got an email the other day for a good discount on the online shop I use for clothes,” he began, having pondered over how best to approach the clothes issue for the entire hour of their session. “It can be quite hard to find stuff that fits right when you’re a bodybuilder.”

“Tell me about it!” nodded the chubby boy, not sensing the irony in his words in the slightest. “None of my clothes fit properly anymore.”

Matt nodded. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good lead in to discuss Jay’s dissatisfaction with his clothing and how he shouldn’t really be feeling such tightness around his stomach when he was trying to pack on muscle. As it was, he could feel the eyes of the other trainers on the back of his head. The only task he had to complete was getting Jay out of those ridiculously tight gym clothes. “I use this brand,” he lied, showing Jay the webpage he had just got up on his cell phone. He knew that impressionable guys like Jay wanted to look like him; to have the same confidence and presence. If he recommended a clothes line to them, he was pretty certain they would take it. “With the progress you’ve been making, you could probably get away with the extra large, but the 2XL might suit your needs more if you’re still in the bulking phase. Fast delivery too.”

Jay nodded with interest and took every link that Matt sent him. 

“I’ve spoken to him about the clothes,” Matt nodded, seeing the faces of expectation from the other trainers as he went back after the session ended.

“I know it’s tough having to tell a client that they’re getting too heavy,” Harry nodded. “But when he’s spilling out of his clothes like that, enough is enough. It’s time to say something.”

Matt nodded, knowing that Harry was exactly right. But that wasn’t what he had done, was it? He’d sent Jay off believing that he was making ‘progress’ and that he needed to wear clothes suitable for bodybuilders. The reality was anything but. Jay was chubby and out of shape. He’d not done any cardio in… it must have been months! He was a client who kept Matt awake at night with his feelings of guilt. He was letting the guy down, and this latest stunt was his worst sin of all.

It came as no surprise when Jay continued to be obsessed with bulking, even after the third and fourth deadlines for cutting came and went. The small mercy was that Jay was at least dressed better in the gym. With his new clothes, he was starting to look like any other broad, fat guy. His pretty face was still getting him the odd glance from some of the women, but the fatter body underneath was more than enough to ensure that it never progressed into anything more.

“You’ll never guess what I managed to get tickets for!” Jay blasted one Wednesday evening as he came in for his session.

“No way?” Matt grinned, knowing exactly where Jay was going with this. “You got them? But the concert has been sold out for months!”

“They were giving away tickets on the radio. I phoned up, answered some trivia questions live on air with someone else and… they’re mine!” he grinned, clearly delighted with himself.

“Congratulations!” Matt beamed. “I’m so jealous! You’re going to have such a great time!”

“No… WE’RE going to have such a great time,” Jay corrected him. “They asked me on the radio show who I wanted to take with me, and I told them your name. You’re the only person I know who is as obsessed with them as I am. No one else would appreciate it like you would.”

Matt’s initial reaction was to decline. There were many clients who tried to socialise outside of these sessions, but it was almost always unprofessional to do so. However, he had also desperately wanted to see this band since he was eight years old. Plus, he and Jay did genuinely seem to get on pretty well.”

“Can I give you some money for the ticket then?” he asked.

“No, I got them for free,” Jay shot back, shaking his head.

“Well, I’ll drive us then,” Matt tried to compromise, knowing that the concert was a good couple of hours away. “I know where your new place is. I can pick you up at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon?”

Jay nodded, accepting the offer without hesitation. Then, for the rest of the week, Matt was telling all of his clients about the concert and how excited he was. He was amazed that not a single person had heard of the band or even recognised any of the tracks when he played a couple of samples for them on his cell phone. ‘What the hell was wrong with people?’ he thought to himself, highlighting in his mind just how much better he clicked with Jay than anyone else he worked with.

That Saturday, Matt didn’t really know who he was trying to impress as he slipped on his most expensive shirt and left the last three buttons undone to expose part of his strapping chest. He turned up at Jay’s building, expecting to head straight off, but was instead buzzed inside.

“Sorry!” Jay spluttered, opening the door to him, covered with only a small towel around his waist, fresh from the shower. “I had a big lunch and fell asleep! I only woke up ten minutes ago.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matt nodded, trying to keep his eyes fixed on Jay’s face and not look down to explore his client’s beautifully chubby proportions. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

Jay trotted back into his bedroom; his jiggly love handles bouncing with the quick pace he was going at. Matt simply took a deep breath and tried to control the arousal that he felt. He looked around the apartment, coming to one very obvious conclusion: This was the home of a fat guy. It was obvious; from the small armies of empty beer cans, to the carnage of emptied take out containers and pizza boxes. Discarded clothes dotted the space and Matt found himself meandering into the kitchen; his curiosity getting the better of him. He opened the refrigerator and peeked in all of the cupboards as quietly as he possibly could. What he found was far worse than he ever would have imagined: cakes, candy, cookies and several containers of those disastrous protein shakes… Jay had the lot, and then some. The guy was eating like a pig and putting on weight at a frankly alarming rate. Matt tried to breathe deeply again, but this time, the blood rushing towards his groin seemed determined to give him a full on erection.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Jay smiled moments later, coming out in a shirt that was far too small for his stout little gut. He opened the refrigerator and downed one of his shakes, as was his usual routine at this time. Once again, Matt had to look away. Then, as the last of it drained, Jay lifted his arms and pumped his biceps, now covered in a good layer of pure fat.

The conversation flowed well in the car as the pair listened to a few of the band’s old albums and talked at length about their shared interests.

“If we’ve still got twenty minutes before we need to go in, I’m going to find some food,” Jay declared once they had parked up. He walked slightly ahead as Matt tried to avert his eyes away from the guy’s wide, overfed glutes, barely contained in his overly tight pants. “I absolutely love bulking,” he declared a few minutes later, holding a giant burger in both hands and raising it part way to his mouth. Then, like a genuine glutton, he dropped his head over it and began feasting with his large shoulders hunched forwards.

Matt genuinely did try to enjoy the concert, but he was conscious of trying to hold back an erection the entire time. He wondered why his brain had to be wired up this way. Why couldn’t he just enjoy the music without getting turned on by the significantly chubby guy he had come here with? He’d had to sit for significant periods of the concert with his hands resting over his crotch as Jay danced beside him, arms up in the air and his rounded tummy popping out. It was so humid in there, making Jay glow with a beautiful fat-boy sweat and ensuring that his clothes plastered themselves to his thick body even more than they already were doing.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Jay smiled the moment the lights came up. “How would you like to go backstage?”

Matt couldn’t believe it as he was shaking hands with his idols and chatting away with other fans backstage only minutes later. It truly was an extraordinary night.

“So, how do you guys know each other?” the lead singer asked as he came up to them both at the bar.

“Matt’s my personal trainer,” Jay answered, downing his beer into his bloated belly.

“I can see you’ve got your work cut out for you,” the singer whispered to Matt, tapping him on his strong back in sympathy.

“I’m in the best shape of my life,” Matt went on, clearly a little tipsy. He put his beer down and reached into his tight pocket to pull out his cell phone. “This is me, before I started training,” he declared, passing the singer a picture of him from just under eleven months ago: slim, handsome, athletic.

“And this is you… ‘before’ you started training?” the guy asked, ensuring that he wasn’t misunderstanding.

Jay nodded enthusiastically, raising his chubby arms to flex and simultaneously letting his chubby belly fall out for the umpteenth time that evening.

“Right,” the singer nodded, confused and surprised; possibly wondering if Jay was making some sort of joke. He slapped Matt on the back once more, then headed off to speak to some others.

When Jay asked to stop off for more food on the way back, Matt didn’t feel that he really had the right to refuse him after the night they had had together. However, it was yet another torturous exercise, having to sit next to Jay as he was gorging his fat body on more fries and burgers in the passenger seat. The sounds of his greedy chewing and swallowing were turning on an already stimulated sex drive to even greater extremes.

“I thought he might have been flirting with you,” Jay explained as they discussed their encounter with the lead singer. “The way he kept on tapping you on the back like that.”

“That wasn’t what that was about,”  Matt answered simply as he tried to control the boner he was getting, listening to Jay sucking air as he reached the end of his gigantic milkshake.

“You must have people flirting with you all the time, the shape you’re in,” Jay continued, stuffing the last of the fries into his mouth.

Matt took a breath in, wondering how to answer something like that. The answer was yes; he certainly did get a lot of attention from both guys and girls. But, as was being made strikingly clear to him that evening, the types of people he found attractive himself were often quite far from what most would expect.

“You don’t talk much about this sort of stuff, do you?” Jay asked him next after a pause.

“Neither do you,” Matt shot back.

“I’m just out of a long term relationship,” Jay replied grandly.

“Over a year ago!” Matt laughed. “In that case, I can use the same excuse.”

“You mean that huge guy we met in the coffee house that time? You were really into him?”

“I was in love with him, yes,” Matt replied, feeling that the conversation was getting a little too close to the bone now.

“How did he get that big? Was he always fat? Or did he just put on weight as an adult?” Jay pressed on obliviously.

“Combination of both, I expect,” Matt shrugged, trying to think of how to shift the conversation away from his ex.

“Do you think I could ever get as big as he is?” Jay asked.

Matt looked across at Jay in confusion. “Chris wasn’t a weight lifter, y’know?” he stated plainly. “He was probably as weak as a kitten. He was just… very overweight.”

“I just remember him being large,” Jay shrugged. “Guys like that always make me feel a little jealous.”

“There aren’t many people who would be jealous of Chris’ body type,” Matt chuckled, assuming that Jay was making fun.

“I think, if I kept up my protein shakes, I’d have a chance at getting to his sort of size,” Jay pondered aloud.

“I have no doubt that you would,” Matt nodded. “But it wouldn’t be lean muscle, I can promise you that.”

“Do you think it would suit me?” Jay asked playfully back.

Now Matt felt entirely on the backfoot. There was no way to answer the question without incriminating himself somehow. “I guess so,” he mumbled vaguely.

“So, do you think I should give up weight lifting then?” the guy immediately replied..

“I didn’t say that,” Matt countered.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. I’ve had a lot more success gaining weight and getting big in other ways, rather than muscle. Maybe I should just focus on that?”

“You know exactly what I’d say to that. I’m a personal trainer!” Matt reminded him. “Of course you’re not supposed to give up weight training and just let yourself get fat.”

“You can be such a square sometimes,” Jay laughed. “You’re so caught up with your diet plans, your nutrition goals and research papers on exercise schedules. You forget that most people don’t care about any of that stuff. It’s all about feeling good in your own body.”

The last fifteen minutes of the journey went by a little smoother, with the conversation naturally evolving into something lighter.

“Want to come in and grab those recipe books you lent me?” Jay asked as they parked up outside his building.

Thinking about another of his clients, Matt nodded keenly. It was more than obvious that Jay had little interest in any of the lean meals in them, so why not pass them on? He followed the guy up the stairs, allowing his brain to fantasise about taking the chubby guy straight into his bedroom. Now that he knew he would be home in twenty minutes and able to release all the pent-up sexual frustration from his evening with Jay, he somehow felt more able to embrace it; gazing with lust at those giant glutes, like round globes of fat, pressed tightly into Jay’s pants as he walked up the stairs ahead of him.

“They’ll be in my closet somewhere,” Jay explained, leading Matt into his bedroom. Inside here, the mess of take out containers continued, making it clear that Jay did just as much of his eating in bed, as he did anywhere else in the apartment. He reached over a pile of boxes and leaned into this closet, presenting Matt with a full view of his wide rear. Matt simply stared at it, swooning.

Jay had to lean in more and more, too lazy to move the boxed out of the way, and grunting from the effort. Matt told him not to worry; that he could get them some other time, but still Jay persevered, leaning even more of his weight onto the boxes at the front. Then, in a split second, they gave way underneath him, sending Jay falling head first into the closet, his legs up in the air.

Matt grabbed at him in a swift rescue, lifting him up and out by pulling him by his waistband and trying to reach his arm in to hold Jay just above his waist. He was a very heavy boy indeed, and not easy to shift, but eventually he came, looking significantly worse for wear. The most stressed buttons on his shirt had popped clean off and his pants had ripped as Matt had tried to pull him up from behind.

“Sorry about that,” Matt mumbled, seeing what a state Jay now looked in his torn clothes. He’d had to pull him at a strange angle to get him back upright and, although he hoped it wasn’t the case, there was a possibility that Jay might have felt the erection in his pants as he was put back on his feet.

Jay flattened his hair and shuffled over to his mirror. His fingers explored the ripped buttons and torn material. There was his little fat belly popping out like never before; his significant fat gains never looking more obvious. The hallmarks of actual obesity starting to shine through.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Matt asked, wondering why Jay was so stunned; his nervousness increasing by the second.

“If I asked you to stay tonight, would you?” Jay asked simply.

“Why do you want me to stay?” Matt asked. “Do you think you’ve hurt yourself?”

Jay did not answer, but simply unbuttoned only the remaining buttons of his shirt and let the material fall to the floor. “Stay,” he repeated, letting Matt’s gaze fall in its entirety upon his bloated, fattened body. “I can tell that you’d like to.”

Matt allowed himself to enjoy the sight. His fingers twitched at his side, desperate to explore and touch. “Do you mean that?” he asked, no longer hiding his interest.

Jay nodded, grabbing a wedge of his own fat. “Let’s just say, you’re not the only person who gets a boner over this stuff.”

Immediately, Matt pulled Jay into a deeply passionate kiss. Their hands began to explore each other and they soon fell, entirely naked onto the unmade bed. Finally, the fizzing sexual tension that had been torturing Matt all night was set free; the fireworks still to come.

Matt woke the next morning as the light began pouring in through Jay’s window. He turned, seeing the bloated boy still resting deeply. Despite his good looks, this wasn’t the sort of thing that Matt ever did. He could count on a single hand how many guys he had slept with in the past, and he could explain how each one of them had eventually ended up breaking his heart. 

Jay stirred as Matt made an attempt to get out of bed. “Morning,” he called out. “What a wild night, huh?”

Matt smiled. “Pretty wild, yeah!” he nodded.

“Did I do it okay?” Jay asked sweetly. “I’ve never tried to give a blow job before.”

“You did great!” Matt nodded. “Amazing, in fact,” he added, remembering how quickly they had both climaxed last night. He’d worked on Jay first and then the sweet guy worked his mouth on Matt until he came in less than a minute. 

“Could you go and get me my shake out of the refrigerator?” Jay asked next, sitting up. “I forgot to have my last one when we got back yesterday, so I’ll have to make up for it this morning. In fact, bring me two,” he reconsidered. “I’ll get it down now.”

Matt hesitated for a moment. He knew that, officially, as Jay’s trainer, he wasn't supposed to approve of these shakes. Still, he was in Jay’s apartment, having just spent the night, so he could hardly start lecturing him now.

Still in a state of undress, Matt slipped out of the room and tiptoed over the mess that was littering the living space. He opened the fridge and felt a pang of arousal as he remembered just how many Jay had prepared for himself.

“Thanks,” Jay smiled, getting back from the bathroom as Matt returned. “I can still feel that burger from last night,” he chuckled, rubbing the shelf of stomach fat, before taking a deep deep breath chugging one of the shakes.

Matt’s penis, which hadn’t been flaccid since the moment he woke up next to Jay, began to pump itself harder upon watching Jay drink. He found it embarrassing how quickly his arousal responded to stuff like this and he moved his hand to cover it up; not wanting Jay to see and realise what a freak he was. However, as he looked at the bedsheets, he could see that the same thing was happening to Jay as well, with his own hardness pushing the material upwards, throbbing up and down like a heartbeat.

Taking himself off to the bathroom, Matt calmed himself down. He was so into Jay, he couldn’t ruin it, like last time. When he returned, both shakes were emptied and Jay was up, checking his body out in the mirror; that old jock physique of his destroyed and replaced with the chubby, overfed form there was today. Gone was the youthful pertness of his glutes, now so wide and juicy. All the added fat had swollen his chest up so considerably, with his new, pointed nipples looking alert and sharp as they started to droop a little onto the broad, shockingly ball-like stomach that completely dominated the boy’s appearance.

Matt went over and kissed the chub sweetly, hoping that Jay wouldn’t feel differently now the morning had arrived. Afterwards, he took the guy’s hand and then gently led him back to bed; making love to him slowly and passionately this time; wanting to show Jay just how much he could adore and cherish him, if he would only give him the chance.

When Jay turned up for their training session the next day, there was an air of mischief about him. The pair of them were chuckling and smiling, knowing exactly what they had got up to at the weekend and excited to be in each other’s company again. Now when Matt had to touch him, supporting his arms in a certain way, or correcting his posture, it sent waves of pleasure through his entire body. If he tried to get tough with Jay to get him to build up a sweat, the guy would come back with something flirtatious or rude, making Matt laugh.

“What time do you finish tonight?” Jay asked after a particularly arousing session where Jay had actually done very little indeed.

“Ten,” Matt replied, wincing at how late it was going to be.

“That’s okay,” Jay smiled excitedly. “Want to stay over again?”

Matt looked around, trying to hold himself back from wanting to kiss Jay right there and then; the cutest, chubbiest guy currently at the gym that moment. He knew how unprofessional it was to be dating his client. In some ways, it was like playing with fire; both terrifying and thrilling. “Want me to bring anything over?” he asked politely, knowing how low Jay was getting on supplies like lubricant and condoms after the weekend.

“You could pick me up some doughnuts,” Jay happily agreed.

“Oh, right. Okay,” Matt mumbled in surprise. That hadn’t been what he had meant at all. “Any particular kind?” he offered, not wanting to spoil the mood by declining.

“Just the twelve pack that you can get at the late night convenience place at the end of my street,” Jay answered him, clearly wanting to kiss him goodbye, but knowing that he couldn’t here.

Slapping the twelve pack of doughnuts on the counter a while later, Matt couldn’t help feeling a little guilty. Here he was getting a spark of arousal at buying all this sugar and fat for his chubby lover. What would people say if they knew? He strolled over to Jay’s place and was buzzed in, finding the apartment door open as he made it up the stairs.

Seeing his chubby boy sprawled out on the couch, Matt took off his shirt and smiled, closing the door behind him before he marched straight over to kiss his new lover. Still dressed in his gym clothes, Jay’s stomach was falling out of his t-shirt as he twisted his head for the kiss. Two more empty flasks of shake sat on the floor beside the couch, alongside another pizza box that Jay must have picked up right after his workout.

Matt had slipped his hand onto Jay’s tummy as he went back for another kiss. How could he tell him off for his bad diet when he looked so adorable right now?

“Did you get my doughnuts?” Jay asked.

Matt nodded, getting up to collect them and feeling surprised at how eagerly Jay took them from him.

“Amazing! You got the cream filled ones!” Jay cheered, ripping the box open and pushing a doughnut straight in his mouth.

Matt hadn’t realised that there were different types, having just bought the first pack he’d found in the store, but he was pleased that it was giving Jay so much pleasure. He gazed with adoration as he ate, feeling himself falling hard for the guy. He sat there, on the floor, below the couch, rubbing Jay’s leg, observing it all. Doughnut number 5, 6 and 7 disappeared. Afterwards, Matt slipped in beside him, kissing his head from behind and holding the overfed boy tenderly. Whilst he couldn’t wait to sleep with Jay again, these tender moments were something he never wanted to rush.

“Did anyone notice that we were flirting at the gym? Jay asked as they lay tenderly together later on. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“That’s not something I want you to worry about,” Matt whispered into his ear. “I can handle any fallout if it comes to that.”

“I’ve actually wanted to quit weight training for quite some time. I just didn’t know how to tell you properly. Then our little relationship wouldn’t be so much of an issue.”

“So, we’re in a relationship, huh?” Matt teased, beaming with pride and hugging his boyfriend tightly from behind. “I don’t want you to give it up just for me, though,” he added regretfully.

“You’re the only reason I stuck it out so long,” Jay chuckled. “The truth is, I’m getting a lot more of a buzz out of developing my mass in ways that aren’t strength training related.”

Matt lifted his head as he lay in bed and looked down at the fat filled stomach on Jay; his hardness immediately throbbed into the guy’s doughy glutes. He wished he could control it; still wanting to conceal the fact that he found the idea of Jay becoming even more overweight so wildly erotic. He realised that as much as he would try to reason with Jay about his overeating and general laziness, his dick would always be there, trying to undermine his words of caution.

Although Jay didn’t acknowledge it with his words, he reached across for yet another doughnut, even though he had previously said he was stuffed. Was that for Matt’s benefit? Was he doing it to turn him on? Perhaps it was yet another unintended error of Matt’s that was dragging Jay even further down this crazy rabbit hole.

Jay’s gains began to speed up quite dramatically within the first six months of their relationship; Matt’s guilt increasing with every pound. There were times when he should have stepped in to stop Jay pushing his appetite too hard. When he discovered Jay buying in clothes for himself that were far too large, he could have asked why. He knew so much about nutrition and what it all was doing to Jay’s body, bloating it more and more beyond recognition. He’d crossed 300lbs. That should have been a moment for them both to take stock and reevaluate things; but the arousal of it all; the way Jay seemed to not care in the slightest about how people were seeing him these days; that confidence; the love that Matt felt for him. It all culminated to ensure the personal trainer kept quiet and allowed it to continue.

Jay’s body was stunning. There wasn’t a single spot where the fat hadn’t done its work, softening and swelling him up. With the lack of weight training, Jay’s chest had succumbed to the blubber, now filling up under his armpits and inflating his arms. All the while, his gut and wide butt quietly continued to grow ever more; becoming more extreme with each passing day. 

Matt couldn’t say not to Jay on his birthday. He’d asked him again and again what he wanted to do for it: a day trip, a weekend hotel stay, any gift he wanted. But all Jay had insisted on was a take-out meal in front of the TV.

“This ice cream is definitely the best,” Jay smiled, scooping out from the tub with his spoon. “I can’t believe you found some!”

“Well, you’re worth it,” Matt smiled. “I even found some of those special flavour doughnuts that you tried a few months ago. So you’ve got something to enjoy tomorrow as well.”

“Tomorrow?” Jay chuckled sceptically. “I’ll be having those bad boys tonight! It is my birthday after all!”

Matt laughed and nodded. There was no arguing with that logic.

“In fact,” Jay continued. “I’d like you to be the one to feed them to me.”

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Matt pretended to spill his glass of water and made a fuss, grabbing a towel from the kitchen.

“Why do you always do that?” Jay asked, obviously downbeat. “You’ve got to know that I love the idea of you feeding me. We both clearly get off on how fat I’m getting. Everyone thinks you’re a feeder now. They saw you with your ex; they’ve seen me getting over 350lbs. You’ve heard them whispering it behind your back. So why won’t you ever feed me?”

Matt tried to brush the comments off. It wasn’t the right time; not on Jay’s birthday. However, his refusal to answer only seemed to make things worse. “Okay,” he finally surrendered. “I’m not being coy,” he admitted. “I… I just…” he stumbled. “It was when I was dating Chris.”

“The four hundred pound guy you were with before me?” Jay asked, with only a mild hint of jealousy.

“Chris and I didn’t meet at a club like I told everyone. We actually met on a kink website for feeders and gainers.” 

“How did I not know this?” Jay laughed, realising that his shy boyfriend had been holding out on him the entire time. “So you used to feed Chris to make him gain weight?”

Matt nodded. “It was great. It felt amazing. I fell ridiculously in love with the guy. He put on about 40lbs in the time we were together.”

“You dark horse!” Jay joked, barely containing his delight.

“But it just wrecked things in the end. We both wanted him bigger and fatter. We spoke about it endlessly. But when Chris was in a mood with me for something, he used to blame only me for making him fat. He said it was all my fault he was so unhappy. I spent so much of my time trying to make him smile and the second something pissed him off, he’d throw it all back in my face.”

“That’s not very nice,” Jay agreed, pleased to finally learn how Matt’s previous relationship had ended.

“Then there was one day when Chris’ car broke down. He came over in such a bad mood and started taking it all out on me. He ended up getting drunk and heading out with his friends. He made out to them all that I was fattening him secretly. He even messaged my parents to say the same thing.”

“Shit!” Jay cringed for him, now realising why Matt’s parents had never been especially warm with him.

“Chris apologised, of course. But it was too late. Fake news like that travels like wildfire. Even though I knew I was always going to be attracted to bigger guys, I always promised myself, I wouldn’t ever get caught up in a situation like that again. Not if it risked making someone as special as you so unhappy.”

Jay nodded, completely understanding. “It makes sense,” he nodded in agreement. “But you’re not to blame for how I’m turning out. I’m not Chris, and I never have been.”

“I get that, but..” Matt tried to counter.

“No, I mean it. I’ve wanted to be a fat boy for as long as I can remember. I felt so ashamed about it. I thought a muscle gain might quench that thirst, but it didn’t. There is no part of me that is doing this just for your pleasure,” he stated sincerely. “So stop with the guilt.”

Matt nodded, feeling that he had been thoroughly put in his place. This wasn’t all about him. This was Jay’s journey.

“But I think you also know how huge I want to get. I know you’ve spotted some of the clothes I’ve been buying recently,” Jay smiled.

“Yeah, those sweatpants you bought the other day…” Matt nodded knowingly. “They were something else!”

Jay beamed with pride. “Aren’t they just!” he chuckled. “So why don’t you tell me, seriously,” he insisted. “How do you really feel about me getting so fat that I could actually wear pants like that?”

Matt considered his answer, knowing how upfront and honest they were both trying to be that evening. “Excited,” he replied simply. “Really turned on by it.”

“So, would you be willing to help me with getting there?” Jay asked.

Matt knew what Jay was asking of him and he sighed at the hard choice he was having to make. “I really want to,” he admitted, rubbing Jay’s rounded gut and admiring the tight softness. “It’s been so difficult trying to hold myself back sometimes.”

“Then stop,” Jay shrugged. “You know that I’m doing this, with or without your help.”

The two men looked at each other with true honesty in their eyes. “Okay,” Matt smiled at last. “Okay, I’ll.. try.”

Jay beamed brightly and slouched his fat body into the tortured couch, placing his limp hands at his side and opening his mouth, waiting. “No time like the present. It is my birthday, after all!”

Matt, who had not been anticipating such an immediate start, fumbled slightly, not knowing what to do as he picked up a doughnut from the table. “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked nervously.

Jay nodded, raising his eyebrows with excitement, but did not close his mouth as the doughnut was dangled so wonderfully close to his face.

With the doughnut in his hand, Matt pressed it into Jay’s greedy mouth. The boy moaned in appreciation and took as large a bite as he could. The sound was instantly arousing. Already he felt the sugar uncomfortably sticking to his fingers. By the time the third bite came along, he knew the remaining piece was too big, but pushed it into Jay’s mouth anyway; making the fat boy’s cheeks swell with fattening dough and sugar. Yet, still the glutton gorged, sucking the sugar off Matt’s fingers as soon as he possibly could. This was hot!

Jay’s hand reached towards the hunk’s crotch, feeling the arousal his part in the feeding had given him. Then he smirked gleefully. There was no hiding anything now as they both undressed entirely. “Feed me another,” he demanded.

Matt did as he was told, picking up more confidence with each fresh doughnut he pushed into the horny boy’s mouth. Seeing sugar glistening on the glutton’s cheeks, the arousal in his eyes; the pleasure he took from drawing this side of Matt out.

“Am I a good piggy?” Jay asked teasingly,sucking on Matt’s hardness as the doughnuts were all finished at last.

Moaning softly, feeling his dick getting sticky from the fat guy’s sugary saliva, Matt nodded in agreement. Had Jay really just referred to himself as a ‘piggy’?

“Say it then,” Jay demanded, letting his hand take over for the few seconds he needed his mouth to talk. “Tell me what a good, fattening pig I am.”

Matt’s brain was foggy with lust. He could tell that Jay was already holding back, not allowing him to climax just yet. “You’re a good piggy,” he heard himself saying, worrying that he could ejaculate the moment he felt the words leaving his mouth. “And I do want you get fatter,” he admitted. “I always have.”

“Prove it then,” Jay suddenly demanded, slipping his mouth and hands away from Matt’s hardness; cutting him off in an instant.

“How?” Matt asked, having been so close to finishing before this abrupt stop.

“The refrigerator,” Jay simply replied; smirking in triumph.

Matt knew in an instant what he needed to do. He headed straight over and collected Jay’s calorie shake from the cool refrigerator and held it in his hands, about to become the world’s biggest hypocrite after everything he had said about these things.

“What do you want me to do?” asked a super horny birthday boy, laying back again and letting the fat splay into the seat once more.

“I want you to drink it,” Matt replied, already unscrewing the lid.

“What’s it going to do to me?” Jay whispered next, savouring the kinky moment between them both.

“It’s going to make you fatter,” Matt smiled back, so happy to be drawn into the game; so happy that he was doing this at last.

Matt stepped closer to the fat boy and then sat beside him, using his free hand to jiggle the immense softness that had enveloped Jay’s torso, whilst kissing him deeply. Then, just as Jay was really getting into it, he lifted his free hand up and gently rocked the boy’s head backwards so that his mouth pointed towards the ceiling, in position for the pouring.

“Are you ready, Piggy?” Matt asked, finally unleashing his true self. “It’s time to grow for me…”

Jay’s eyes were dancing with excitement as they drifted from his feeder’s gaze and up towards the ominously held jug of calorie shake looming above his head. Then, just like that, his mouth opened wider than Matt had ever seen it go before.

Matt couldn’t put his finger on when exactly he came, but he knew he hadn’t been done pouring. His fat boy had slipped his pudgy, sweaty hand onto his hardness and tugged at it; pushed it right into his giant, jiggling stomach, until Matt could stand it no longer. His orgasm had been years in the making and he moaned louder than any of his former lovers had ever heard him.

A new beast had just been unleashed.

#gainer fiction #gay feedee #gainerstory #gayfeedee #gainerstories #gainer fic #gainerfic #gayfeeder #gainer story #gainer stories

[finalgilmoregirl]

your newest mike fic has me dead on the floor omg. can you please write something with grumpy mike and his sunshine reader?

a/n : i love this concept it’s such a classic, leans towards fem!reader but no she/her pronouns used, no use of y/n, lots of fluff and a smidge of angst

☆ moments in grumpy!mike x sunshine!readers relationship :

1 ౨ৎ putting on performances with abby. for a child her age, an active imagination is a given. however with the kinds of things she has experienced in her life, the possibilities are truly endless. it's not uncommon for mike to come home and see that the living room has essentially been transformed into a broadway set. and even though he's often coming home from a long shift, exhaustion be damned, you and abby still sometimes manage to wrangle him into the worlds you've created.

if you and abby are the knights of opposing royal courts, he is the jester. if you two are witches, he is the evil henchman. if you're competing fighters, he's the referee. if you two are ballerinas, he is the judge (and he always chooses you as the winner).

but no matter how many times you and abby tell him that he has to do the voices too, he still won't learn. he's essentially just an audience member of your theatrics, sitting on the ground in whatever costume one of you have placed on his shoulders and simply trying to fathom how to two people can have so much energy at the end of the day.

2 ౨ৎ grumpy!mike is your own personal bodyguard. although your sunny aura is extremely welcoming on its own, the constant frown on his face is enough of a signal for a person to turn and walk the other way the moment they notice him next to you.

he's often uncomfortable in public, too aware of his surroundings and overanalyzing everyone's actions. this results in his having a hand on you at all times to calm his nerves, whether that be with your hands clasped together, his hand on your waist or his arm around your shoulder. at first glance the two of you could look like complete strangers that just happen to be in close proximity to each other, but the second mike turns to look at you and his expression softens, it's obvious the two of you are in love.

3 ౨ৎ for the first few weeks of you and mike getting to know each other, he’d never really smiled. sure, he was always kind and polite but the most he would give to express joy was the raise of his eyebrows and the tiniest bit of an amused smirk. so of course when you had been in the middle of recounting a story and mike had laughed, smiling with all of his perfect teeth on display, you were pleasantly shocked.

"so that's what that looks like." you grinned at him, earning a tilt of his head in return.

"what does what look like?" he asked.

"your smile." mike was quick to blush, coughing and looking down for a moment to try and regain his original composure, but before he could feel too embarrassed you continued, "i like it, you should do it more often."

from then on you couldn't get enough of his smile, always trying to make him laugh. which as serious as he is, deep down he lived for it, just basking in your joy and the fact that he was the cause of it.

4 ౨ৎ that being said, mike has a bit of a temper and you know that, taking his waves of bad moods in stride and trying your best to cheer him up, but sometimes he gets so riled up that there’s only so much you can do to help, and mike loses patience.

it’s very rare when he snaps at you and when he does he almost immediately regrets it after seeing how it effects you.

the ever-present smile you hold that has the power to lift everyone’s spirits falls in an instant when one of his outbursts catches you off guard. your eyebrows furrow and you look down to try to keep your own composure. you know he’s not actually mean, at least never to you. you pushed him too hard, you think to yourself and it’s in this moment that mike snaps out of his rage, like a demon that was possessing him had left his body and all he feels is his heart ache.

here you are, the light of his life and he’s the reason you’re not smiling. he rubs his palm over his forehead and reaches out for you, “fuck, i’m sorry” he sighed, “i don’t know why i yelled”

you feel his hand hover over your shoulder and look up, seeing his face full of regret. you reach your hands up and hold his face, which mike immediately melts into, his hands moving to hold your waist. he grabs you tight, desperate even, thinking that if he lets you go you'll leave and he'll lose you for good.

“i know baby. you’ve just had a bad day, i shouldn’t have pushed you.” you sympathize with him, to which he shakes his head.

“yeah but that’s not an excuse, you just wanted to help and—" he pauses and sighs, disappointed with himself, "i’m grateful for that. i love that you care about my problems, no matter how stupid they are.”

you smile gently at his confession, and a weight is lifted off of his chest.

“they’re not stupid. plus, i know you’d do the same for me. you can groan all you want about it but deep down you’re the biggest softie i know.”

mike rolls his eyes playfully, and leans his forehead against yours, “only to you.”

you giggle and connect your lips to his, letting them linger for a few seconds before pulling away and whispering, “yeah, i’d hope so.”

thanks for the request ☆

#mike schmidt x reader #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt fluff #kelly : mike thoughts 💭

[cialovesklopp]

une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe

summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy

pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding

word count — 10.1k

author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy <3

    ( masterlist )

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.

she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.

it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.

kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.

her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.

she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.

amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.

there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.

she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.

time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.

if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.

“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay

there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.

“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.

“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”

she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.

“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do

he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”

“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.

“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.

she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”

“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be

— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.

she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.

maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.

kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.

the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.

hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.

she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.

as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.

and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.

they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.

a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.

“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”

they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.

amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.

she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.

and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.

even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.

they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.

pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.

especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.

but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.

along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.

their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.

though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.

“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.

“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.

fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “f��licitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy

one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.

“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.

she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”

“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.

“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.

amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others

amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming

view all 293.753 comments

liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts

graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore

amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?

username project mbappe is officially starting

username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me

psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙

equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france

username news of the year

antogriezmann félicitation mon frère

sza i can’t waittttt

kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte

paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru

cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel

username please say sike

username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife

username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts

kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹

charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad

landonorris best news of the week

graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties

liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too

username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour

username fr, i’m too excited for this

achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew

amara.imani how did you know?

achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine

username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹

tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.

even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.

as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.

and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.

seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.

and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.

nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.

“you’re supposed to put it like this.”

“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”

the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.

the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.

he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.

that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.

“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.

she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”

he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”

“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.

“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”

“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.

that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.

“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.

“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”

“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”

her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.

she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.

she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.

“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”

needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.

as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.

her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.

she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.

it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.

“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian

there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.

he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.

staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.

they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.

kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.

there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.

from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.

“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here

he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.

“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible

he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.

she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.

labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.

the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.

“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”

“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.

“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”

her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.

“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.

“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.

“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule �� pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.

amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.

she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.

her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.

every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.

after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.

“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.

“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”

“are you talking about anaïs?”

kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”

and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”

she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.

“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa

she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.

he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.

their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by achrafhakimi, graceywood and 28.763.541 others

k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé

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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.

it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.

she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you

just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.

the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.

but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.

“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.

“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”

“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”

he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest

she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.

there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.

“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up

— did you see mummy?

“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together

she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.

“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it

“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth

“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.

amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.

“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”

he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”

his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.

amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.

taglist: @lorarri @aechii

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe fanfic #mon amour #amara imani #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappé x reader #kylian mbappe fanfiction #kylian mbappe x singer! oc #kylian mbappe x amara imani #kylian mbappe x black! oc #kylian mbappe x black reader #kylian mbappé #kylian mbappé x singer! oc #kylian mbappé x black! oc #kylian mbappé x oc #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe series

[jubileemon]

Fizzmodeus

Somehow in the infernal landscape of Hell, the relationship between Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, stands out as a sweet love story for the ages.

They were first introduced in the episode 'Ozzie's'. Despite their public disdain for sentimental relationships, they are entangled in a secret romance that defies Hell's social hierarchy and expectations. At first, Fizz and Asmodeus appeared as massive hypocrites, mocking others for their romantic endeavors while secretly harboring their own.

Fizzarolli's life was marked by a traumatic experience with fire, resulting in losing his horns and cybernetic replacements. As he thought Blitzo abandoned him to burn, Fizz began to develop a deep resentment towards his former best friend. Despite his normal jovial nature Fizzarolli suffers from extreme self-worth and self-image issues, the latter of which mostly originating from the severe injuries he received from a circus fire that he was involved in when he was younger. Because of this, he feels like he needs to do whatever Mammon tells him to do, as he feels he must repay the man for all the fame and success being his brand figure has brought, despite how horribly he is treated.

Working under Mammon, the Sin of Greed, further complicates his identity when Fizz became a symbol of Mammon's brand. The cost of fame weighs heavily on him, as public scrutiny and the demands of celebrity challenge his sense of self and personal values. Asmodeus' title as the Sin of Lust comes with its own set of expectations, yet his love for Fizzarolli transcends these. His protective instincts are often on display, particularly when Fizzarolli is in danger or vulnerable. Despite the initial portrayal of their relationship as hypocritical, the secret romance between Fizzarolli and Asmodeus is depicted as both sweet and healthy.

Despite one being a demon prince and one being an imp, and also portraying their partnership in public as purely lustful, Fizzarolli and Asmodeus' relationship is actually as healthy and romantic if not more so than Moxxie and Millie's, where the two are equals who look out for each other. Asmodeus' even lets Fizzarolli go out in public without him or an escort to defend him, despite Ozzie's concerns, because Fizzarolli wants to go alone, a far cry from if Ozzie truly didn't care about Fizzy beyond having sex with him. It's like if Stolas and Blitzø managed to work things out between them and had things be not so rocky.

Hard to believe, but aside from sex jokes, occasional rudeness and his grudge towards his former best friend, Fizzarolli stayed as nice and innocent as he was in childhood, despite all of his trauma. He does admit that it was difficult and challenging at first, but Fizzarolli finding someone who cared so much about him has led to him feeling like he leads a good life.

The relationship between Fizzarolli and Asmodeus is not without its trials. Asmodeus's deep concern for Fizzarolli's well-being is evident when Fizzarolli is taken hostage, an event that ignites Asmodeus's fury and prompts him to take drastic measures to secure Fizzarolli's safety. This protective streak is further shown in their interactions with Mammon, another Prince of Hell, whose abusive and manipulative behavior towards Fizzarolli causes Asmodeus to harbor intense animosity towards him.

In Season 2, Asmodeus reassuring Fizz at the beginning that he doesn't have to worry about being "perfect" for Mammon because perfection is impossible, and that he deserves a break or vacation without having to fend off creeps constantly.

Asmodeus' line when he rephrases his actual feelings in regard to Fizz being in Mammon's clown contest: "I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him. Pretty sure you feel the same"; this one line has numerous, subtle but still important subtext that really shows how much Asmodeus cares for and respects Fizzarolli. Just the fact that Asmodeus is being honest about his feelings about Fizzarolli being in Mammon's competition.

In most forms of media, when someone doesn't like something that their significant other is doing, they’ll either dance around it until they can’t take it anymore and/or even lie to get their partner to stop. But Asmodeus doesn't do that - when his initial plea doesn't work, he gets straight to the point of him not liking it but in a healthy and mature manner. He doesn't put any blame on Fizzarolli for his own discomfort, instead putting it all rightly on Mammon's greedy shoulders.

Asmodeus' dislike over Fizzarolli as Mammon's brand figure not only comes from a place of concern and worry but respect. In the second sentence of his above-mentioned line, he mentions he does not like having sex toys in Fizz's likeness. Given that he's the King of Lust, one would think he would hardly care, but he does. Because it's his boyfriend using in such a way. Asmodeus also makes sure to note that he's also aware that Fizzarolli doesn't like the sex-bots as well. He's acknowledging not only his own discomfort but his partner's.

After acting like everything's all righr for the majority of the episode and having a full-on panic attack in his dressing room, Fizz finally pours out his insecurities to Asmodeus, telling him that he's terrified of losing him if he doesn't win the pageant because he feels that Ozzie's only with him because of who he is under Mammon's patronage. He even yanks his jester hat off - revealing his scarred, splotchy head and the jagged stumps of what remains of his horns - in an attempt to show Ozzie what he believes he is without Mammon: an ugly, broken, worthless imp.

"Crooked" is a sweet, simple song where Asmodeus and Fizz admit that while they both have their flaws and insecurities.

Asmodeus reassures him of his worth and publicly declares his love, a bold move that underscores the depth of his feelings and his willingness to face potential consequences for the sake of their relationship. Instead of the crowd being shocked or mocking the two, they are all instead excited and reveal they already had theories on it.

Crimson did call Ozzie's relationship with Fizz "the worst-kept secret in all of Hell." Nearly everyone in the crowd probably already knew or at least suspected. Which makes their reaction all the more heartwarming because it's acceptance. One of Ozzie's main worries was being seen as a hypocrite for being the incarnation of carnal hedonism while having a loving, monogamous relationship. It turns out nobody thinks that at all. The King of Lust has fallen in love, and everybody is happy for him.

#helluva boss #helluva boss analysis #fizzarolli #fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #fizzaroli helluva boss #helluva boss asmodeus #asmodeus x fizzarolli #relationship #couples #true love #romance #hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hellaverse #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss fizzmodeus #why i love this ship

[blingblong55]

To live without- 141 + Alejandro

Based on a request:

Hii can I make a request for some angst?? Maybe the reader having an argument with the TF 141 + Alejandro, inside the car or anywhere resulting to a break up?? Cause I'm a sucker for angst, thankss 🫶

F!Reader, angst, established!relationship, break-ups, cheating (not all)

A/N: This will be in 5 parts

Part 1 (John Price), Part 2, (Soap), Part 3 (Gaz), Part 4 (Alejandro)

It has been a stressful few months for him, between his job, you, his own safety and yours, let alone the current argument over his current state. It's why you and he are now in the car, having this argument.

Ghost:

Your breakup was the accumulation of months and months of distrust and his latest injury that got him 7 months off work. He started drinking, a lot more than his usual beer or two every other day. then his questions that suggested you must be cheating or that you are the enemy and of course, you understood the past mission was difficult on him. You knew from the start a man like him, a soldier with so many bad memories and so many betrayals was bound to have days where he couldn't and wouldn't trust you.

Lately, he has been worse, sleeping late, waking up early, smoking too much for your personal liking, becoming a heavy drinker and he now yells at you.

You had gone on a walk when he suddenly woke up, looked around your shared flat and the second he knew you weren't home, he drove to the only place where his drunk mind knew you'd be, the park. And just like expected, you were there, playing fetch with your dog.

"I knew you'd be here" his speech slurred. You were worried the instant you understood he was still somewhat drunk and the fact that you saw his truck. "Simon, you drove here?"

"Yes, I needed my beautiful girl."

"Simon, that isn't safe for you or anyone on the road-"

He pressed his index finger against your lips, trying to get you to shush up and you moved his hand away from your lips.

"This is so irresponsible of you, c'mon, let's get in the car," you start to walk, dog trailing along. "I'm driving," you add.

Once in the car, he sits in the passenger seat, "You're no fun, love"

"Life is fun, not ending it because you are an irresponsible drinker."

He scoffs, "Oh c'mon, don't act like you are perfect," he looks over at you as you start the car.

"And I'm not perfect, but you have to understand-"

"Yeah I fuckin' get it, I am an alcoholic and you are perfect-"

"Enough, Simon! I am tired of you drinking, yelling for no reason and being a prick to me all the time!" you snap

"If you weren't such a bother in my life I wouldn't be a drinker.." he comments. You can't even drive off because you are trying to contain such anger inside.

"Simon-"

"No, R/N, you act like I am a fuck up, I'm not my father...and I am not a fuck up, not to mention you treat me like a child ever since the injury."

"I never said you were any of those things and I only treat you with care, I want you to live a long life-"

"Yeah I've heard this so many times, Why don't you fuck off and leave my life for good."

That was his flaw, acting or speaking before thinking and now all is lost. It has been 3 months since you moved out, 1 month since he started to sober up and 2 months since he began to beg you for forgiveness. He has tried to gain the life he once had, the warm bed and the warm hugs and to be honest, he hasn't left the house much since the breakup, hates bars and pubs and hates knowing you aren't there to take him home. He has improved though, always hides the keys in new places before he starts to drink, walks anywhere, looks at both sides before crossing and as he does so, always thinks of you.

He can't take back what else he said in the car that evening and he will forever regret losing the one thing he loved the most. The one thing he has to live without.

#cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod 141 #cod #mw2 141 #mwii #ghost cod #task force 141 #141 x reader #141 #ghost fanfiction #cod ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost #ghost headcanons #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley angst #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #ghost x f!reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x female oc #ghost modern warfare #ghost mwii

[strawbeerossi]

Speak Now

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: Spencer Reid regrets many things in his life, losing his beloved girlfriend years ago is one of them. When he gets a wedding invite, he swallows his pride and decides to attend. That's when gets a dangerous idea.

Content Warnings: Some light angst, mention of regret, Spencer decides to ruin a wedding, there's some curse words thrown in for pizzazz, reader and Spencer run away together in the end.

Word Count: 2.1K

Masterlist || Taglist || Request

Tags 🏷️ @beardedhotchh @nyx-tella @multifandom-on-the-side @morgthemagpie @x0xonatalie @eveyez-exe

First installment of the Speak Now (TV) mini series!

There were a lot of mistakes that Spencer made in his life. Letting Y/N go was one of them. It was the nature of his job that had begun to take a toll, his girlfriend being met with the frustration and pain that he carried. It had gotten unfair on her, he knew that. It led to a discussion that needed to happen, resulting in an amicable breakup.

There were no hard feelings, no hatred. Y/N understood that his life was growing overwhelming, promising that she would wait for him. This job was new, it was his first year on the team. She would wait for him.

And she did. She waited for nine years before the realization hit her, Spencer wasn’t coming back to her. She’d learned of a false imprisonment, the death of a girlfriend, a serial killer who was obsessed with him, even the numerous times he’d been injured on the field. 

Penelope Garcia was a close friend, the two meeting through Spencer and keeping communication through all the years. They frequented lunch dates, girls days, and even trips whenever the two women could find the time to do it. That was how not only Y/N got her information about her ex boyfriend who she could never forget but Spencer asked his own questions about the one who got away.

Their lives went in different directions. Spencer had worked himself up the totem pole of the BAU, his life’s work shining through his college lectures and the information he put out to the world. Y/N however had been a shining star at the elementary school she began teaching at, living at a relaxed state of her life where she didn’t have to worry about the impending issues with traveling the country about a million times a month.

It was fitting. Spencer had always wanted to save the world, wanting to help the people who couldn’t help themselves while Y/N wanted to help the youth of the country to grow strong and confident in themselves in order to break generational failures and curses. 

So different yet so alike.

Penelope liked to say that opposites attract, that they’d find their way back to each other one day. Y/N had given up on that dream years ago, finding a man who loved her and treated her with nothing but love. The news killed Spencer when Penelope showed him pictures when he grew too curious.

The beginning of the relationship was the first knife to his heart, the engagement was a second. The third didn’t come until a year later, when he was being made aware there was a wedding that was in the Spring. 

Spencer and Y/N talked about getting married in the Spring. When the flowers just began blooming, she could use the pastel color palette, and the flowers in the bouquet could be a collection of pink peonies and white roses. He could remember seeing her happy, a blinding smile on her face as she described everything down to the last detail. The way she looked at him in admiration, the way that she cried the first time he told her he loved her, the way she was always checking in on him.

He fucked up royally. 

Whenever the wedding was rapidly approaching, he wasn’t expecting to get his own invite. He remembered opening the beautiful envelope with the familiar cursive writing that he remembered from years ago. The invite was personally addressed to him, saying he was more than welcome to bring a plus one. 

A plus one.

What better than Penelope Garcia, even if she already had her own personal invite. He wouldn’t be able to face this moment head-on by himself and he couldn’t ask JJ to go like he would’ve before, not since their relationship began to get awkward after the events of the bank incident. In theory, he could’ve asked Luke but then Penelope would probably kill him for taking her idea. 

Thankfully, the bubbly tech analyst was more than happy to accompany the brunette to the wedding that was surely going to be hard to swallow. Watching someone you love get married to someone else isn’t exactly ideal.

There were a lot of emotions that Spencer shifted through. There was anger, anger that he let her go when he was a young idiot who had no idea what he wanted. Then there was sadness, the tears soaking his face from the mere idea of having to fully lose her to a man who surely didn’t deserve her. Then there was the final stage that he had to get through his thick skull; acceptance. 

He knew this was better for her, to have someone who had normal working hours who could always be there for her. However, he wasn’t going to like it. At all. However, there was one thought that lingered at the back of his head. What if he convinced her to leave with him. They could run away, find solace in each other’s arms again, just like years past.

That was a shitty idea in theory but on paper? Oh, he liked it. 

He liked it so much that he made it his plan. There was no backing out of it. He was going to ruin this wedding. The worst that could happen was that he could be escorted out. That was it. If he was going to lose Y/N regardless, at least he could say that he tried. 

Penelope wasn’t made aware of that plan though, having a fear that she’d talk him out of doing it entirely. 

As Spencer had arrived at the venue, it wasn’t long until he was met with his close friend as well as Luke. Of course.There was no secret that even with the consistent banter between Garcia and Alvez that they had some underlying amount of love and care for one another.

“Are you ready?” She asked, sparing a sad glance at the taller male who walked alongside her and Luke into the venue that was rented out for the occasion.

 “Yeah.” Oh god, if you only knew what I’m about to do.

Everything was beautiful and eloquent, a ceremony fit for a queen. It was fitting. His gaze looked over the chairs that were set up, decorated with strings of lights as well as an assortment of different flowers. The colors were pastel, like he’d vividly imagined for the whole year leading up to this fucking ceremony. 

Y/N’s family looked pleased to see him. 

Maybe even relieved. However, his mind could’ve been playing tricks on him. They wouldn’t be thankful for him showing up to the wedding of their only daughter. There would be no reason to be. Unless his suspicions of this guy being not all that he was cracked up to be was correct.

There was a silence that enveloped him when he could recognize the man from all those sickening social media pictures. This was the groom. 

Well, she had a type. The mess of brunette curls falling in his face while he was currently laughing and talking with who Spencer could only assume was his own family. Again, it could’ve been his mind playing tricks on him. This was his own body’s way of telling him that his idea to speak up was going to be the correct decision.

He was an imitation, Spencer could give her the real thing. He was older, wiser, more experienced at this point. With his mandated time off, he could give her a life where he wasn’t always gone. He could love her, hold her. 

He was definitely going through with it now. 

“You must be Spencer.” A voice brought him out of his thoughts, blinking slowly. This guy was talking to him. Fuck. “Oh, yeah. Hi. I’m Spencer.” He spoke slowly, letting out a breath that he didn’t know that he was holding in. “Nice to meet you, man. I’m Matthew.” 

Oh. He was nice. Well, that made him feel shitty. He wasn’t backing down though. Instead, he offered a smile, a fake smile that was easily mustered. 

“Great to meet you too! Congratulations on the big day, by the way.” He offered a smile while letting out a soft hum. 

There wasn’t much longer until the wedding attendees were being told to get into their seats and prepare for the wedding to begin. It was now or never. He was going to do this. It was a risk, one that he knew he didn’t actually sit and think through.

Losing Y/N in all aspects would crush him. This had to go well, it was going to go well, he needed it to go well. 

As soon as the sounds of the Bridal Chorus was echoing through the room, Spencer had to take in a deep breath, eyes glued to the door as the bridal party was emerging first, followed by the flower girl. Then there was  Y/N and her father.

God, she looked beautiful. 

Spencer was mesmerized. He never pictured himself sitting amongst the guests the first time he saw her in a wedding dress. Hell, he wasn't even waiting for her at the end of the aisle and he could already feel tears soaking his cheeks. Tears of pent up sadness, longing, and envy.

As she approached her husband-to-be and everyone was getting seated, Spencer’s leg was bouncing from anticipation. He was good at getting through the beginning jargon of the promises and affirmations.

His actions weren’t going unnoticed. Penelope was the first one to glance over at the male sitting to her left. “You okay?” She asked, leaning over to put a hand against Spencer’s knee to prevent him from bouncing it. Which he couldn’t speak, too focused on hearing the words he needed to hear, the invitation to ending all of this.

It felt like an eternity of waiting, however, his opening finally came. “And if anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

His body works against the rational functioning in his brain, the man shooting up from his chair. There was a mixture of reactions,some looks of horror as if Spencer had just ripped the groom’s head clean off, then there were other knowing glances. 

Y/N’s mother even looked as if she’d been greatly anticipating for her daughter’s ex to stand up and say something.

Spencer didn’t care, instead his eyes were directly on her. It was bold, something the old Spencer that she’d gotten to know would’ve never done.Her gaze was settled on her ex boyfriend, honestly being surprised he’d mustered up the courage to show up.

There was a tense, painful silence looming over the guests while Y/N cleared her throat. “I need to.. Step out. I’ll be right back.” The words were rushed, the bouquet falling out of her hands as she rushed out of the main room, heading to the backdoor that overlooked the beautiful garden outside.

Without being prompted, Spencer shot up despite Penelope trying to grab his hand and pull her down. “Come here!” She hissed, although he was already running out of the doors that were once shut tight. 

So much for a wedding, right?

Y/N could be found near the back entrance, where she was supposed to leave after a beautiful ceremony and a memorable reception. Instead, there she was, hands over her face. The sound of footsteps caused her to glance upwards.

She had a smile on her face.

Out of all the interactions he expected, he wasn’t expecting a smile. He didn’t expect to feel her arms wrapped tightly around his torso either.

She did want this.

“I’m so glad you came. Fuck, I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” She spoke, now tossing the bouquet of flowers on the table that was close by. This was.. Something. “Come on, we need to get out of here. I promise that I’ll explain everything later. For right now, we gotta go.”

There was urgency in her voice, her hands nudging Spencer. The FBI agent in him was worried. Was this man hurting her? Was this all an act?

“Don’t profile me. He’s a nice guy but.. God, he’s not Spencer Reid. Now, can we please go?” She spoke, eyes glistening with mischief and affection. This was real. This was happening. 

“Y-Yeah.” He spoke, his own smile creeping up onto his face as Y/N was tightly grabbing his hand while the two were running out of the building together, a whirlwind of adrenaline flowing through both of their veins as it became clear that this was the way that it should’ve been.

“I’m so glad you were around when they said speak now.”

#Spotify #criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fandom #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid dialogue #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid cm #strawbeerossi speak now (tv) series #spencer reid au

[lovelyjj]

I love your writing. I’m not sure if this request is to angsty but I was thinking about jj and a reader who got diagnosed with cancer but can’t afford chemo, and she only has a small amount of time left but wants jj to move on without her. With the prompts ‘you need to move on’ ‘don’t leave me’ and ‘I can’t lose you’? It’s ok if you can’t do this one.

<3

No Goodbye

jj maybank x reader

wc: 2.8k

| angst |

(not my gif)

The day was gloomy, the clouds were a dark kind of grey casting a darkness on the land. The sun was dipping below the horizon letting only the last remaining light being seen.

JJ was in the doctors office a nervous wreck. He was worried about the results of the biopsy. If it was good news the doctor would of called but they asked you to come in person to discuss the results.

JJ was practically pulling out his hair. He didn’t know what to think. All he knew was that his girl was in there and she might be getting life altering news. All JJ wanted to do was be there for you.

JJ’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw you walk out. You looked like you have been crying but you didn’t want JJ to see that. You did your best to try and hide it. You stopped crying and wiped your face so you were able to walk out looking some what decent.

Looking at JJ who was waiting for you made your stomach drop. You were going to have to tell him the news. Your heart throbbed because you were going to break his heart, which was the last thing you ever wanted to do.

You made your way down the hall and into the waiting room. JJ smiled at you hoping that by some chance there was good news. You gave him a weak smile in return but you didn’t want to give him false hope.

JJ waited for you to speak. You took a deep breath mentally preparing yourself for the conversation your about to have.

“I have Leukemia, blood cancer,” you stated sadly.

“What?” JJ stood there mouth agape with his whole world coming crashing down.

“The cancer is in my blood.”

“Is it treatable?” JJ asked.

“Yes but i can’t afford it.”

“So what happens now?”

“Well they said I could live for many years without treatment.”

JJ was about to break. He couldn’t even begin to think about you being gone. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t let his mind go there. The thought of loosing you made him go insane.

JJ sucked in his tears and said, “That’s a pretty good chance.”

“Yeah. I’m sure I’ll beat the odds.”

Your relationship with JJ was very special. The two of you loved each other very much. The love you shared could move mountains. You were always together. You had a closeness like no other. JJ always showed you compassion.

Now that you had cancer your relationship only improved. JJ was very attentive to your needs and he supported you a hundred percent. He took care of you and made sure you were as comfortable as you could be.

Despite having cancer you had a positive attitude. You wanted to remain strong for JJ.

The two of you decided to take a vacation. A small one just the two you. You wanted to get away and take your mind off things. The doctors said it was ok because you weren’t going far.

You took a road trip to Myrtle Beach. It was about a 2 hour drive from Charleston. JJ wanted to treat you to something nice because you deserved it.

When you arrived at the hotel you were excited. The room was big and fancy and you were pleased.

“This is beautiful,” you commented.

“Yeah it is,” JJ replied.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

“It’s no problem baby.”

“Are you tired? We could take a nap,” JJ offered.

“Yeah maybe.”

You and JJ decided to take a nap to rejuvenate. Afterwards you would be ready to explore. JJ held you close, cuddling you and wrapping his arms around you. You were situated under his chin, face in his chest and legs tangled together.

When you woke up you felt refreshed. You gave JJ a kiss on his cheek to wake him up. He groggily grumbled something and tightened his hold on you. You nudged your nose with his and smiled.

“Good morning sleepy baby,” you spoke.

“Good morning pretty baby,” JJ responded.

“We should get up and do something,” you suggested.

“5 more minutes,” JJ mumbled.

Of course you granted his wish, agreeing to stay in bed a little longer, and bask in each other’s presence.

You decided to go on your phone and look up attractions. You found out there was an Aquarium and a shopping mall.

“Would you want to go to an Aquarium?” You asked JJ.

“Yeah I’d love to,” JJ replied.

The two of you left your hotel and made your way to the Aquarium. It was a big place full of all kinds of sea creatures.

“Look at the sting rays,” you pointed.

“Woah those are sick!” JJ expressed.

You and JJ walked around the aquarium hand in hand looking at all there was to see.

“Are you having fun?” you asked.

“Yes i’m having a blast, but i usually always have a blast when I’m with you.”

“Your sweet,” you smiled.

“How you feeling?” JJ questioned. He couldn’t help but worry about you. He only wanted to keep you safe and healthy.

“I’m great,” you said truthfully.

“Good.”

There was a seating area that looked over a glass filled with fish. The two of you decided to sit down and gaze at the sea creatures.

JJ threw his arm around your waist pulling you close. You rested your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, letting it wash over you and calm you down.

The aquarium was beautiful and you were glad you decided to go.

“You know I fall more and more in love with you every day.” JJ hummed.

“Your so sweet, I love you to the moon and back.” You smiled.

JJ kissed the top of your head. The two of you looked at all the fishes in awe.

Then you got up and walked some more all around the aquarium until you saw every inch of every attraction.

When you got back to the hotel you were both tired. You decided to lay down together on the hotel bed. JJ was playing with your hair looking at you lovingly.

“Jayj?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” JJ replied.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Maybe, what is it?” JJ asked.

“When I’m gone I want you to spread my ashes in the ocean,” you looked at JJ sincerely.

“Y/n. Don’t you dare talk like that,” JJ hissed.

“What? I’m just planning ahead,” you shrugged.

“You shouldn’t be planning just yet, but your gonna make it, I know it,” JJ insisted.

“You can’t know that for sure,” you countered.

“Maybe, but I believe in you,” JJ smiled.

“JJ…”

“What?“

“I don’t want to give you false hope,” you expressed.

“Your not,” JJ replied.

“Listen JJ, I’m just trying to save you from major grief,” you stated.

“I don’t need saving I’m in it for the long haul,” JJ explained.

You sighed, deciding that you didn’t want to argue with him, so you placed a kiss on his cheek and turned around in his hold and went to bed.

The next day the two of you went shopping at the mall. The day after that you watched the sunset together at the beach. Next you took a walk on one of the golf courses. Eventually your trip came to a end and you had to go back home.

The two of you weren’t that excited to return back to reality. The vacation was much needed and gave you a nice escape from the everyday pressures. You did however have to go back to worrying about your cancer which both of you dreaded.

When you arrived home, JJ made it his mission to make sure you get to do everything life has to offer. And you got to because of him.

——————

You were at the pier after you guys got some ice cream. The weather outside was perfect. It was a nice day to walk along the pier.

“Wanna try mine?” you asked.

JJ opened his mouth you fed it to him.

“Yummy!”

After you were done with your ice cream JJ started chasing you. You giggled as you ran away from him. When he caught you he scooped you up and spun you around.

JJ set you down and you looked at him lovingly. JJ was your whole world and more. He was your safe place and number one person. He was your rock and shoulder to cry on. Without him you don’t know what you would do with yourself.

“Jayj, tell me a secret,” you asked.

“What kind of secret?” he responded.

“Any secret,” you replied.

“Ok. I’m madly in love with you.”

You couldn’t help the big smile that took over your face. “No I mean a real secret.”

“Hm ok let’s see. One time at school I went to the bathroom to smoke a joint and when I came back the teacher asked if i was high. I told her yes and then she sent me to the principals office. Instead of going there I walked home.” JJ finished his story smiling.

“Are you for real? That’s hilarious!”

“Now you got to tell me one,” JJ smirked.

“Ok,” you took a deep breath, “I’m afraid of sharks.”

“Wait seriously?!” JJ asked.

“Yep. That’s why when we go surfing I get really scared and just watch instead.”

“Oh my god, i’m so sorry,” JJ apologized

“No don’t be I enjoy watching you surf, brings me peace.” you replied calmly.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that,” JJ laughed.

“Well now you know,” you gave him a small smile.

“You want to know what else i’m afraid off,” you began.

“What?”

“Dying.”

“Oh baby. That’s not gonna happen any time soon,” JJ comforted.

“You never know,” you voiced nervously.

“Maybe I don’t know but i’m gonna be with you every step of the way,” JJ concluded.

“Thank you,” you gave JJ a hug.

——————

Then what JJ didn’t expect so soon was your decline. You were in bad shape. You were declining and getting worse. The doctors reassured you and JJ that they were doing everything they could. JJ wanted to remain strong for you, no matter how hard it seemed.

You were admitted to the hospital a few weeks later. The hospital was far from homey. It made you feel depressed, but you tried to keep a smile on your face for JJ.

JJ was with you every step of the way. He was always there. He’d sleep in uncomfortable hospital chairs which you told him he can sleep with you in your bed. He refused something about giving you space but you insisted.

To pass the time the two of you would talk or watch TV. You were getting weaker and weaker so you decided it was time for the inevitable.

“JJ,” your voice came out pained.

“Yes baby?” JJ responded.

“I don’t want you to watch me die,” you whispered.

“Don’t talk like that, you’re going to live. If anyone can beat this it’s you.”

“I want you to live your life to the fullest without me,” you spoke softly.

“Baby please,” JJ begged as his eyes filled up with tears.

“You need to move on,” you stated firmly.

“I don’t want to move on,” JJ cried.

“JJ please don’t make this difficult.”

“I’m not trying to I just am having a hard time processing everything.” JJ choked out.

“I love you but you have to let me go.” you explained.

“Y/N please don’t do this,” JJ pleaded.

“I’m trying to save you from suffering later on,” you delicately said.

“I don’t need you to protect me. I’m in this for the long haul,” JJ expressed.

“I need you to listen to me. Please. I want you to forget about me. Let me go. I don’t wanna break your heart by dying.”

“Baby-“

“No JJ i’m serious. I want you to move on without me, please.”

“I’ll try,” JJ’s voice betraying him.

Despite what JJ said he had no intention of moving on. You were his whole world. He wanted to be with you every step of the way.

JJ was at the hospital constantly. It was like he never left. JJ went to get some food and when he came back you were asleep.

JJ went up to you and stroked your head. “My baby girl,” he whispered.

You stirred a little bit remained asleep. JJ was staring at you in awe because you were prefect in his eyes. You were his angel.

“Please don’t leave me,” JJ whispered.

JJ was thinking about what life would be like without you. He begged his mind not to go there but he couldn’t help it. He would be devastated. There would be no life without you. You were his whole world, without you there would be no point.

“Jayj,” you whispered.

“Yes, baby,” JJ responded.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yes I should be. I should always be here.”

“I want you to move on,” you stated seriously.

“I’m not ready for that. I can’t lose you,” JJ cried.

“You haven’t lost me yet. I’m still in love with you, I just want you to move forward,” you expressed.

“I’m not going anywhere, til death do us part,” JJ replied.

“Come here,” you opened your arms for him to jump into.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief and accepted your request. He got onto your bed and slid in next to you. He tucked you under his chin and you both hugged each other.

The two of you were in your own little world, enjoying each other’s presence. JJ held onto you like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to let you go.

JJ reluctantly went home to shower and change and rejuvenate. When he came back to the hospital he was waking down the hall when he ran into your mom.

“Hi JJ,” your mom spoke.

“Hi, mrs. y/l/n, how is she?” JJ responded.

“She’s gone, I’m so sorry,” your mothers eyes filled up with tears yet again.

“No she can’t be gone I never got to say goodbye,” JJ cried.

“She left this for you sweetie,” She handed him a envelope.

It read: To my sunshine boy

It was in the same loopy letters as your handwriting and it brought JJ to tears.

To: My Sunshine Boy

I want you to know that you made my life worth while. My time spent with you was some of the best times of my life. I cherish everything that you have done for me. It was an honor being your girlfriend. I loved you more than I’ve ever thought possible. More than anything. The amount of times you brought me joy or made me laugh is uncountable.

You are a ray of sunshine on my darkest days. I will never be more thankful for whatever higher power gave me you. When I’m gone I promise to wait for you in the afterlife. Please don’t be too heartbroken when I’m gone. I hate to of made you upset.

I want you to fall in love again. I want you to fall in love with someone else and have your heart belong to them. I want you to live your life to the fullest and live with no regrets.

I hope you know how proud I am of you, for all your accomplishments. I’m proud of you for standing up to your dad. You were given a shitty deal of cards in life but you are so much more than what you were dealt. Im so grateful for having you in my life. I don’t know what I would of done without you.

You are the most driven, and hardworking person i’ve ever met. You are amazing human being who is strong and loving. Being loved by you was one of my greatest memories. I can not thank you enough for treating me with respect and kindness each and every day we were together.

You have made me the happiest girl in the world. Being with you has been the highlight of my whole life. You have been my guardian angel and I can’t thank you enough for taking care of me.

Thank you for being the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. You are the love of my entire life.

all my love,

y/n

JJ was balling his eyes out by the end of your letter. He couldn’t believe you were gone. He refused to accept it. He couldn’t let you go even though he knew he needed to.

The past few weeks have been really hard for JJ. His house was a mess, empty beer bottles littering the floor. He really let himself go. He didn’t see a point in trying anymore. What is life when the love of your life dies.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank x female!reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj outer banks #jj obx #jj maybank outer banks #jj maybank one shot #jj x y/n #jj x you #jj x reader #outer banks fanfiction #jj obx imagine #outer banks x reader #obx imagine #outer banks angst #outer banks fluff #jj obx fic #obx fanfic #obx fic #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank fic

[velocesainz]

Hii I saw you asked for ideas, it might sound weird but maybe a max x reader story about him falling in love with reader when hes with Kelly still and them breaking up and choosing reader? Idk fluff,smut whatever i would be interested no matter what😌

Sounds quite interesting, hope you enjoy!

F1 masterlist | Main masterlist

We're meant to be

(MV33)

Summary: Max and y/n are co-workers and good friends. Max develops feelings for her while he is dating Kelly. What happens when Kelly finds out about Max's feelings?

Warnings: none, fluffy

Pairing: Max x driver!fem!reader

Third person POV:

Ever since y/n joined Red Bull racing, there had never been a single moment of sadness.

Y/n was loved by one and all. She was an icon in so many people's eyes.

Her and Max were the greatest duo the paddock had ever seen. Winning races upon races, most with a 1-2 finish with both alternating top position.

They were an odd pairing for sure. Fiery rage paired up with calm and collectedness? Unheard of.

Max POV:

I was walking around the paddock when I bumped into y/n who was holding a massive camera in her hands and interviewing people around her.

"Oh hey Max! Are you excited for today's race? Who do you think will win?" She asked me in her most 'formal' voice.

I chuckled and responded "I am quite excited for today's race, Belgium is like my second home. I would say I will win today but something tells me otherwise" I added that last line since she was looking at me as if she was going to murder me if I didn't say she would win.

"Thanks Max! Catch you later" was all she said before she skipped away happily.

God she's so beautiful. She's kind. It gives me butterflies.

Wait...

Am I...

In love?

I've never felt this with anyone, not even Kelly. I mean she's nice and all but I don't think she's the one for me.

How will I break the news to her? I'll have to figure out.

Kelly POV:

I was looking around for Max when I saw him talking to y/n, who was interviewing him by the looks of it.

After she left he kept staring at her and started blushing. Was he in love with her?

It wouldn't be very unlikely. He hasn't really been very affectionate lately and he's been spending more time with either her or Penelope.

I feel like he's falling out of love with me.

How can he recklessly fall in love like that? I'm his girlfriend!

I have to get him to stop interacting with y/n, otherwise I'll lose him. I need him for the money, I can't lose him at any cost.

Y/n POV:

I felt Max staring at me as I left or maybe i was imagining things. I am so madly in love with him I might be delusional, but he loves someone else.

I sigh and continue interviewing people as I was told by Martin Brundle who was trying to make a fun behind the scenes episode for sky sports.

Timeskip:

I got out of the car and stood proudly on top of my car, my 5th race win this season and I was officially in the lead in the drivers championship.

After podium celebrations I was making my way to my driver's room to relax for a bit before interviews when I heard some yelling coming from Max's room.

Being the curious person I was, I eavesdropped.

Max POV:

I was relaxing in my room after a decent race, P2 was a pretty good result.

Suddenly the door slammed open revealing my angry girlfriend, oh god this was going to be hell.

"Stop talking to y/n from this instant on." She said curtly.

"Who are you to tell me who I can talk to and who I can't huh?" I snapped back

"IM YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. WHO IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU! I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HER-" she screamed.

"WELL JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU GET TO CONTROL MY LIFE! AND YEA MAYBE I LIKE Y/N SO WHAT?" I yelled. This girl is getting on my nerves.

"SEE YOU ADMIT IT YOURSELF! YOU LIKE HER! EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! HOW SHAMELESS CAN YOU BE?" She continued

"You know what? I'm done. Done with this relationship. You've never been supportive ever. It's as if you're with me for my money and that it. So kindly get the fuck out, gold digger" I was so happy to get all the feelings against her off my chest.

She looked at me in disbelief and walked out.

Y/n walked in right after Kelly left. Did she hear the argument?

"Are you alright Max? That argument sounded intense" she asked with concern showing in her eyes

"Yeah. I'm alright. Did you..uhm hear what we argued about?" I questioned

"Uhm...yea" she replied shyly

God I loved this woman so much

I walked up to her and kissed her.

The world seemed to fade away. I had the woman of my dreams in my arms I was never going to let her go.

#f1 x reader #f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen angst #max verstappen fluff #formula 1

[candyfloss5000]

SFW alphabet

Nathan Prescott's SFW alphabet!!!

--------------------------------------------------

A - affection (how affectionate are they with you?)

In public, Nathan's affection towards you is dropped down to holding hands, an arm around your shoulder or waist. You'll get a kiss, if you're lucky. He isn't big on PDA because his parents raised him to think that showing your love for someone in public is inappropriate and frowned upon.

But when you're all alone, it's a whole different story. If you're trying to concentrate on something, Nathan will make it his life goal to distract you and steal affection from you. Whenever you're alone together, he's holding onto you in some way whether it's having you sat on his lap, or just holding onto you in some way.

B - best friend (how are they as a bestie?)

Fucking insane. Expect to do some crazy ass shit 24/7. He'll hang around you like a lost puppy, whether you're doing weed somewhere, or terrorising the neighbourhood

C - cuddles (how do they cuddle?)

This man will cuddle you in any position, as long as he's touching you he doesn't care. Although, in the beginning of your relationship he was very tense when it came to cuddling you and physical touch in general. He didn't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak, because he was scared that you were going to make fun of him for it. Because of this, he resulted to spooning you, so he could still hold but be able to not show how much he's enjoying it.

Now, he prefers to be held by you, because he knows that you won't laugh at him for it and you won't tell anyone. He'll also just lay ontop of you and rest his head on your chest.

D - domestic (their thoughts on settling down)

Nathan has never had a domestic moment in his entire life, until he met you that is. He does want to spend his entire life with you, but he isn't prepared to drop everything and become a normal citizen of society yet. He wants to spend his youthful years as rebellious as he can, but not to the point where it could ruin both your lives.

E - ending (how would a breakup go?)

A breakup with anyone else, wouldn't bother Nathan the slightest bit. But with you, he would actually lose his mind. Expect alot of shouting and yelling, then sobbing and begging for you to stay. Nathan has spent so much time with you, the thought of you splitting up never crossed his mind, so he was really shocked. He would start spiralling downwards rapidly. Not attending his therapy sessions, not taking his pills, lashing out at everyone. All he wants is you and that's the one thing he can't have.

F - fiancée (how do they feel about commitment?)

Nathan was originally very weary of commitment, purely because he feared that you'd leave him like everyone else. But after a year of you dating, he realised he couldn't picture his life without you. Nathan was raised to think that marriage is the best way a relationship could go. So, he waited a little while after you both graduated before very nervously popping the question. Obviously, you said yes. (If you dont I'll personally murder you for crushing this poor boy's heart)

G - gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

You know that Nathan is the most rigid person to ever have existed and won't hesitate to through someone out of a window. Which is why you were so shocked when he held you so delicately as if you'd break like glass. And the way he speaks to you is so timid and soft, a tone he's never used with anyone else. You're the only thing in his life that he actually gives a shit about, so he's going to protect you at all costs.

H - hugs (their thoughts on hugs)

He's not a very big fan of hugs. He'll side hug you tho, wrapping his arm around your waist to bring her hips next to his. The only time he'll accept hugs, is if you reward him with a kiss aswell.

I - I love you (who's the first to say it and how often is it said?)

Surprisingly, Nathan was the first to say it. It happened when you were comforting him after one of his many nightmares. He tucked his head under your chin and you ran your fingers through his hair. You let him sob and tell you all about it, while comforting him. Nathan realised in this moment, how this is the first and only time someone has treated him so gently and softly. In comparison, everyone else treats him like trash. So, in the darkness of the night he muttered a small, "I love you." And his heart was pounding agaisnt his ribcage as he waited for your response. "I love you too, idiot." You said back, kissing his forehead.

You only share "I love yous" in intimate and private moments. Nathan doesn't like the idea of just saying it every five seconds, because then he thinks it loses it's meaning. So, you both always cherish your "I love you" moments because you can tell how sincere it is.

J - jealousy (how jealous do they get?)

Jesus Christ, this man can go from zero to one hundred real quick. If he sees you having a conversation with a guy he isn't friends with for a little too long, he's marching over and making an obvious display that your taken. If he sees someone straight up flirty with you, he'll straight up tell them to fuck off. When they eventually leave, he'll kiss you with a burning desire, as if proving that you're all his. Despite all of this, he's never angry at you. He'll never say that you were purposely leading the guy on or anything. He trusts your loyalty.

K - kisses (their thoughts on kissing)

Nathan's all for kissing and making out, but not so much in public. He'll stick his tongue down your throat to his heart's content in the safety of your rooms, but not in public. He'll kiss your cheek, or peck your lips quickly in public, so people don't see him as soft and vulnerable.

But drunk and high Nathan is a whole over story. He'll take you to a quieter area of a Vortex party and press himself agaisnt you while you're backed up agaisnt a wall. You can't say you don't love him like this, but you do remind him that you can't do this here because of how fast photos and videos spread around Blackwell. You don't want him to do something he'll regret while he's not even sober.

L - little ones (their thoughts on having children)

Honestly, Nathan is fucking terrified of having kids. Purely because, he fears that he'll turn into his father. If it ever were to happen, he definitely wants to be in the right state of mind, not on any illegal drugs and not drinking any alcohol. He really doesn't want to fuck up raising his kids, like he has with everything else (his opinion).

If his father comments on how he thinks that Nathan is doing a shit job as a dad, his heart will shatter into a million pieces, because someone confirmed his biggest fear. But you and his sisters make sure to tell his dad to shut the fuck up and assure Nathan that he is doing a good job and he is a good dad.

M - mornings (how do mornings usually go?)

When you're still in Blackwell, mornings last only for a couple of minutes. You wake up from the light bleeding through the curtains and listen to the students starting their day in their dorms. You and Nathan sleepily talk about how shit your days are gonna be, while pressing lazy kisses to each other's skin.

When you're on summer break, or you've graduated and in your own home, your mornings are so much more relaxed. You stay in bed for atleast two hours, holding each other and telling each other how beautiful you think one another are with sleepy voices. It takes you atleast half an hour to convince Nathan that you actually need to start your day.

N - nights (how do your nights go?)

When you're still at Blackwell, your nights start with one of you sneaking into the other's room. Then, you watch a movie on his laptop and cuddle in bed, sleepy kisses passed between you both before sleep consumes you.

When your on summer break, or you've graduated and living in your own home, nights are more calm and layed back. You huddle up under the covers and do whatever you want. Watch a movie, talk about your days, make out 👀. You end up falling asleep way later than you do when you were at Blackwell, as you have more freedom over your schedules.

O - open (how open are they about your relationship?)

It takes a few months for Nathan to annouce your dating, he just wants to make sure that this isn't just a fling or something and that it's for real. He doesn't show PDA alot, but people know that your dating, mostly because Nathan wouldn't let anyone get as physically close to him as you do if you were just friends.

P - patience (how much patience do they have with you?)

Nathan is alright with you requiring some time to figure something out in your relationship, considering how much time he needs in your relationship aswell. If you need him with you alot of the time, he doesn't mind that either. He admires your presence.

Q - quizzes (how much do they remember about you? Like little details?)

It might not seem like it, but Nathan is very observant of the things you say. He makes mental notes of your interests that you've mentioned and stuff you've said you want. Which is why he's an amazing gift giver. If you say you like something as a one off, months later on your birthday he's got it wrapped up for you. "Nathan, this was five hundred dollars!" "So?"

R - remember (their favourite memory with you)

Nathan's favourite memory of him and you is your first kiss. He took you to the lighthouse and you were looking out at the sea, a golden ray of sunshine lighting up your face. Discreetly, Nathan pulled out his camera and snapped a photo of you, causing you to turn to him. You tried to grab his camera to delete the photo, but he raised it above his head, where you couldn't reach. You were up on your tiptoes, trying to snatch the camera, not realising how close you and Nathan were. You stumbled forward a little and Nathan instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you. You looked into his eyes and he looked into yours. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

S - security (how protective are they of you?)

This man is able to act as your boyfriend and your gaurd dog. It's well known around the school that Nathan and you are an item and that your both off limits. So, when the oblivious new kid was trying to hit on you, Nathan was beyond fuming. You're surprised there wasn't any steam coming out of his ears. Nathan was fully prepared to smash the new kid's nose into sidewalk, but you felt bad for him and let him down easy, telling him that you already had a boyfriend. That's when Nathan appeared. You subconsciously stepped inbetween them, knowing that Nathan was about to become uncontrollable. The kid hastily left after seeing the dirty look Nathan was throwing his way over your shoulder. That's the plus of having a gaurd dog boyfriend, he's an asshole but he's your asshole, so you can some what calm down his anger.

T - try (how much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries etc)

When it comes to dates, Nathan uses his rich boy privileges. He takes you out of Arcadia Bay and into a nice town that has an even nicer restaurant. As much as you love that Nathan has spent all this money on you, you don't like these type of dates as much as you would like. You know, that Nathan isn't being his real self when he does things like this, he's just doing it because this is what a stereotypical boyfriend should do. You prefer it when he takes you to quieter places within Arcadia Bay, like the Two Whales, the lighthouse and the beach at sunset.

When it comes to anniversaries, Nathan only cares about the main ones, like when you two got together and when you got married etc. He doesn't really care that much about the more little ones. But he does go all out for anniversaries, again because he knows that this is what a boyfriend/husband should stereotypically do. He gets you expensive gifts and takes you to the lighthouse, where you share so many fond memories.

U - ugly (a bad habit of theirs)

Nathan has a habit of putting his status first beyond anything else. Which means that sometimes he does stuff that he doesn't really want to do, purely because it will make him look cooler and boost his popularity. This is why he doesn't like PDA, because he fears that people will make fun of him for loving someone.

V - Vanity (how insecure are they?)

Nathan is very insecure about so many things. He's made this facade that he presents infront of everyone, so they don't get to see the damage behind it. You can see right through it, but you'd never call him out on it. You both have a silent agreement that when he let's his gaurd down with you it stays between the two of you.

W - whole (do they feel while when they're with you?)

Yes, one hundred per cent. He feels so complete and content when he's with you, because he knows he doesn't have to act like someone else. He can just be him. And you love seeing the real Nathan and how you can now understand him so much better.

X - xtra (a random headcannon)

Nathan can't sleep in silence. He needs a tv on, or his laptop playing something, or a playlist playing on his phone. He can't sleep without something playing in the background, because when he's left in silence he over thinks things too much. The sound distracts him and eases his mind.

Y - yuck (a personality trait they hate)

Nathan hates it when people try to get close to him just for popularity, or just to try and get closer to the Prescott family. He can't stand people using him and he doesn't have time for it. So, if someone tries that with him he tells them to fuck off and he can ruin their lives in a millisecond.

Z - zzz (sleeping habits)

Nathan has to sleep holding onto you somehow. He has to be holding onto your arm, or keeping one of your legs entangled with his own. This isn't really sleeping habit, but he has a fucked up sleep schedule. Like he'll wake up at five in the morning one night and then only just get into bed at five in the morning another night. #fixthisman'ssleepschedule

#life is strange #life is strange x reader #nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #chloe price #max caulfield #victoria chase #Kate marsh #warren graham #rachel amber

[doumansshrine]

Kokushibo x Wife Reader/Soft Wife Reader

You were his wife that is living a happy life with him in the Sengoku Era after he turned into a demon. You knew he abandoned his previous family to become more stronger and looked for a fresh start to have a new family since he couldn't bear to go back to his previous family, though you were upset at the fact you couldn't have children with him after many attempts to get yourself pregnant with his child you loved him with the pureness in your heart to the point where when he asked if you would want to stay with him forever, you said yes and like the faithful wife you are, drank the blood that he offered to you.

After becoming a demon you were sheltered from the horrible things a demon would commonly see, he loved the fact that you were an innocent thing that hardly ever knew about negative things as you were from a noble family that was loved and cherished and was hidden from this wicked world and escaped due to forced marriage.

Kokushibo kept a close eye on you even after you turned into a demon, he never left your side whether you were sleeping, eating, or just laying on his lap like a cat who loved their owner but he respected the boundaries like when you are taking a bath or changing. You and him fought sometimes but after an argument you would calm yourselves down and try to listen to each other first and solving whatever came in the way of your relationship.

When demon slayers came to trouble the peaceful life, Kokushibo would put your safety first even though you have told him you were fine each time, he had a fear in is heart that someone would slice you while he didn't notice and would lose you forever.

The very reason why he made you into a demon was to preserve your beauty and your personality, though it worked, he felt guilty to see you filled with disgust when you saw raw human flesh he couldn't stand seeing your weak figure as you starved yourself not wanting to eat the flesh that he forces in your mouth, you gave in sometimes but ate very little and at times you would be the one to actually prepare it first and wait for him to come home after a task that as offered to him by Muzan, though you watched him eat the meat you didn't want to even put it inside your mouth resulting in Kokushibo feeding you in unique ways to get your hunger rising.

The Fight of Kokushibo Part:

You were spending time with your husband like the usual as you sat on his lap resting your head on his shoulders and giving each other affection from time to time.

Until.. a fight broke out and disturbed the peace, Hashiras came in the room like hostile creatures preparing to fight, Kokushibo kissed your forehead and left you on the floor panicked and scared as he protected you, he fought and fought until he was gravely injured, you ran to him despite knowing you might get hit, you clung to him for dear life and healed him with all your strength while crying and pleading for him to retreat before he dies in the battle, but he became cocky in his abilities and placed you aside in a hurry and began to battle them once again.

The Hashiras stopped fighting seeing you being laid aside crying and asked if you two wanted to live, Kokushibo barks that he didn't want humans interfering with what he's doing with his wife, even though you were pleading for him to retreat and go somewhere far with you where you two wouldn't be touched.

He didn't care and fought till he turned into his 2nd formed and upon seeing his reflection he was disgusted to see that you still loved him despite himself not being handsome as he used to be when he was human, he looks at you still crying while you ran towards him in a panic as you grabbed him away from the blades and glided to the other side of the room holding him in your arms, you plead for them to stop and hugged your husband tightly as he slowly disintegrated.

You clung tightly to him and healed him to the best of your abilities but nothing worked, as he disintegrated slowly you watch him cup your face and kiss your forehead, telling you to leave him and find safety, you refused and sacrificed yourself infront of Kokushibo, trying to get the Hashiras to land a slice on your head.. Without him you didn't want to be alone where no one would protect you, or tend to your needs but mostly you didn't want him to be alone, burning in hell alone, you'd rather burn with him to keep him company...

"I'll stay with you forever, Michikatsu.. no.. Kokushibo.. it's what I wanted even if I'm a burnden, useless, or failed wife.."

#kny x y/n #kokushibo #kokushibo x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #michikatsu tsugikuni #michikatsu x reader #kny michikatsu

[heartfullofleeches]

Would love any questions/requests for him.

Hi, hello, I've risen from the grave again

I had a couple thoughts about him after scrolling through his tag for like an hour so...

you mentioned that he was married to his ex-wife out of college so then it's relevant to assume he didn't get a chance to explore the dating pool otherwise. So I'm curious to his reaction to/thoughts having a partner that dotes on/is super affectionate to him

-🦷

Theodore was married to his ex-wife straight out of high school as a result of her getting pregnant with their twins and agreeing to a deal with his folks where refusing would have led to him being cut off from the family and thus lose access to his college fund..

I'd say the more affectionate/caring his partner is, the more obsessed is he with them. Theodore considers himself a stable man, but between the loveless marriage with his ex-wife and neglect from his parents, and being an affectionate person himself in these lackluster environments - Theodore is more broken that he lets show and deep down in the pits of his shattered heart longs for someone to enjoy the smaller things in life with.

Theodore doesn't really know what to do in a proper relationship. He has so much love for his darling, but is afraid if he gives too much at one time they'll grow annoyed of his gestures like his wife did he when tried to make their marriage work. He starts off with casual compliments to let them know some extent of his feelings. If his partner is the one to dote on him, he wouldn't have a clue on what to do and his actions show. Fumbles his words, gets nervous at the very mention of them. He can't believe someone so... so... wonderful? Easy to be around? Perfect? There's so many words to describe his love in his mind, but what I'm getting at is he can't believe someone like them would fawn over him of all people.

Theodore takes their affectionate and gives it back tenfold. Surprises them with dates/gifts, calls them whenever there's time in his schedule, worships the ground they walk on- Daydreams about the moment he gets to see their face again and even keeps a tape recot on hand in hopes of catching some of their sweet words to get him through the day. He's a tired man, but the love of his boys and his darling is all he needs in the world to keep on going. Damn near ready to propose by their sixth month anniversary, but has enough restraint to let things develop a bit further before taking that dive.

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere blurb #male yandere #yandere insert #soft yandere #theodore my oc #🦷devil

[tmpestuous]

Like I Want You

part one.

summary: you and bucky have been best friends your entire life and it’s never been anything but platonic. so why do things get so bad when he gets a new girlfriend?

pairing: college!bucky x reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings: fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, female!oc, sexual references, mentions of grief and accidents, mentions of dead parents, bucky is down horrendous

a/n: here is me trying to convince myself not to only write avenger!reader fics that i have too many ideas for… i kinda hate this but it’s okay

"sometimes i wish you knew,

but i disguise the truth.

i say i'm happy, but i'm still stuck on us."

After a long and exhausting week, you were more than grateful that it was finally the weekend. Midterms during the Fall were always the worst–you felt they might have been even worse than finals week with how drained you were and no short vacation in your near future. 

All you wanted to do was head back to your dorm, lay down, and relax. But it seemed like the universe always had different plans for you than you expected. A quick six knocks on your door and you knew it was Bucky. Though you were always excited to see him, you didn’t plan on seeing him so soon after a midterm that felt like it drained your entire soul away.

Nonetheless, you eagerly made your way to the door. Bucky always knew how to lift your spirits and you were sure this time would be no different.

You and Bucky had been destined to become best friends since before either of you were born. Your parents were very close to each other and having kids the same age only meant they made sure your friendship was in your cards.

What they hadn’t anticipated is just how close you and Bucky would be. You did just about everything together. When you were kids, you’d be in the same clubs. In elementary school, you both went to swimming classes together. In middle school, you’d joined the debate club while Bucky started participating in sports and you’d be right there to support him. He’d support you in your debate competitions. The same routine continued in high school, and now college. 

Bucky was your support system and you were his. Of course, you both had your families who were just as supportive in everything you both desired to participate in, but nobody understood you both like you understood each other. When Bucky first woke up after his accident that resulted in him losing his left arm, you were the first person he asked for. You stayed with him throughout his entire recovery process and getting used to his prosthetic. He was there for you when your dad died and you had a rough grieving process. He was sympathetic to your loss, having lost his own dad, and helped you through every step of it all. 

Nobody had you like Bucky had you. You were like each other’s lifeline, and nothing was gonna change that.

You and Bucky were both very comfortable with each other; you’ve slept in the same bed, given each other forehead and cheek kisses plenty of times, and you both even decided to be each other’s first kiss to somehow avoid heartbreak and embarrassment. However, you never attributed it to romance and you were sure Bucky didn’t either. You’ve had your fair share of relationships and so had he. 

So why was it so shocking to open the door and see Bucky with his arm around a girl?

“Hey, bunny,” he said with a grin on his face, but you were more centered on the girl leaning her head on his shoulder and how you were usually the one doing so. 

“Y/n?” Bucky said in a concerned tone, snapping you out of the weird trance you put yourself in. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said confidently, though your head was very much in a daze. “I’m okay. Hi, honey. I wasn’t expecting you so early.” You said, not directly addressing the girl under his arm.

“I had class and was walking this way anyway since Alina, here, lives in this building,” he said as he smiled down at the girl next to him. “Alina, this is Y/n, my best friend.”

“Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” she said while shifting her gaze to look at you, extending her hand for a shake that you politely participated in. “James has told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you said, though you were still slightly confused about the current situation. “Are you Bucky’s… girlfriend? Friend?”

Bucky eyed you with furrowed brows and widened eyes like you had embarrassed the living shit out of him. Alina shrugged her shoulders playfully.

“I guess you could say I’m his girlfriend,” she replied, though you could tell from her tone that she definitely wasn’t sure. “James and I have been seeing each other for a few months now, maybe it’s time to make it official.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” you said, crossing your arms across your chest. “Maybe I’ll see you around the building more often now that you’re a familiar face?” 

You were definitely trying to be friendly, though all of the questions you were about to ask Bucky were floating through your mind like letters in some alphabet soup. She seemed nice, but there was something weirdly off about how you felt about her and Bucky. You were a bit hurt that after “a few months”, this was the first you were hearing of her. Not to mention Bucky’s metal arm, the one he held so much disdain for, was wrapped around her like it was second nature to him.

“Yeah, definitely!” Alina responded to your suggestion with a smile. “I should probably head back to my suite now, I have a lot of work to catch up on.” She turned to Bucky and gave him a long hug, but Bucky was staring right at you in confusion. After she pulled away, she interchanged glances between you and your friend with the brooding stare. “I’ll see you tomorrow, James. It was really nice meeting you, Y/n.”

After he said his goodbye and Alina walked down the hallway towards the elevator, Bucky made his way inside your suite behind you, shutting your front door.

“What was that all about, Y/n?” he asked hesitantly, not exactly sure of your feelings.

“I don’t know, James,” you emphasized on his name. He hated being called that. By anyone and everyone. You don’t even remember the last time his mother uttered his name with the exception of scolding him over doing something wrong.  “You were seeing someone for a few months and didn’t even decide to mention it to me, which you’ve never done before, and then didn’t even give me a heads up before introducing her to me.”

“I didn’t know where I was going with her until recently, Y/n,” he said softly. “I think I might have feelings for her. We’ve hooked up a few times but you know I’ve never been tied down to the same person for a few months. I’m trying to find someone to be serious with.”

For some reason, in the back of your mind, you had wondered, Why not me? But you quickly shoved the thought aside. Bucky was your best friend, nothing more and nothing less.

“Okay, Jamie,” you said. “I trust you. I’m happy for you. I just wished you had told me sooner.”

You weren’t really upset with him. You honestly weren’t even that upset that he didn’t tell you. Something just felt off, but you wanted to be supportive of your best friend. It was the least you could do.

Bucky stepped toward you and cupped your face. “I know, bunny,” he said remorsefully. “I’m sorry. I was nervous things wouldn’t work out and I really wanted you to like her. I won’t keep anything from you again, okay?”

You smiled slightly as you nodded, looking up into his pretty, blue eyes. They were a lot more blue than you’d realized before and you found yourself weirdly getting lost in them. Your thoughts got interrupted by Bucky kissing your forehead three times and pulling you into a hug.

“I love you, bunny, so much,” he said before pulling away and looking in your eyes again. “Forgive me and watch a movie with me? I’ll let you pick this time.”

“You say you’ll let me pick every time and then deny every suggestion I make, Buck,” you said as you furrowed your eyebrows playfully. 

“I mean it this time,” he fought back, sticking his pinky out in front of you. “Pinky promise.”

You intertwined your pinky with his, “Okay, honey, I forgive you.”

He smiled wide at you before grabbing your arm and dragging you to the living room. You were at least glad you were back to your normal banter and hoped it’d stay for longer than usual.

On the contrary, though, you were seeing less and less of Bucky as the weeks went by. You’d make plans and somehow, he’d always end up flaking for some obnoxious and random reason. The common denominator in almost every excuse? Alina.

First, it was when you were going to have your weekly study-dinner date together.

Hey, bunny. Alina’s taking me to her favorite food spot today and I totally double-scheduled the same day of our date by accident. Raincheck until tomorrow?

Then it was when you were both supposed to go back home for the weekend for a family event.

I won’t be able to go back home this weekend actually, bunny. Ma’s really upset with me but Alina and I are studying for a big exam together and I could use the help.

Then it was another study-dinner date. A movie night. Even just a regular hangout day. 

You hadn’t seen Bucky for more than an hour at a time in the last week and a half. It was not only frustrating but hurt your feelings. You had always come first in Bucky’s life after his family, so to feel replaced was something you’ve never had to face nor address before. It also felt like Bucky didn’t care, which confused you even more.

One day, you had gone to a party with your suitemates when Bucky and Alina had caught your eye. 

Bucky wasn’t one for big parties, he’d usually be off in the corner somewhere circling a drink in his cup after being dragged to said party by Steve and Sam. 

But this time, he was in the middle of the crowd, dancing with Alina without a care in the world. He didn’t look the most comfortable doing it, but he was doing it for her. That was all you picked up on. Bucky caught a glimpse of you as he danced before whispering in Alina’s ear and making his way over to you.

“Hi, bunny,” he said with a slight slur in his voice. He wasn’t drunk but he certainly wasn’t sober either.

The stench of alcohol on his breath also smacked you right in the face like it had a tangible hand. 

“Hi, Bucky,” you said, more concerned about his inebriated state that he’s rarely ever in without his buddies around. “Where are Sam and Steve?”

“They were acting lame and didn’t wanna come with me,” he said with a pout. “I don’t think they like Alina, they immediately said no after I said she had invited me. You like Alina, don’t you, bunny?”

Even though he had a few drinks in his system, you could tell Bucky was being mostly sincere. He valued your opinion a lot, and he also valued Sam’s and Steve’s. You noticed how upset he was and cupped his face to look at him.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I do, honey,” you reassured, though not totally sincere. You didn’t want to upset him any further and you didn’t have any other reason to dislike the girl other than the fact that she was taking your best friend away from you. “You should probably go back to your dorm and get some rest, don’t you think? It’s late and I don’t want you out drunk alone.”

“I’m not alone, silly bunny,” he said with a chuckle. “Alina’s here with me. She’ll take me back.”

“I know she’s here, Buck, I just meant—”

Then, as if on cue, Alina walked up and wrapped her arms around him, making you subconsciously tear your grasp from him. She didn’t even seem buzzed.

“Hey, James, you wanna go back to my room? We can have more fun there than here,” she said, catching a quick glance at you before staring in Bucky’s eyes. 

He pondered for a bit, looking at her before looking at you. There was a bit of sadness in his eyes when he stared at you, almost as if he was hesitating to leave you here because she asked him to go. He looked back at her and nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he agreed, which only stung you in the chest even further. He turned back to you and waved softly as they walked off, “I’ll see you tomorrow, bunny.”

He, in fact, did not see you the next day. Or the following. Or the day after that. You hadn’t even received so much as a text from him to let you know he was okay. 

This wasn’t the Bucky you knew at all. This wasn’t your Bucky. But, being the good friend you were, you didn’t want to intrude on his relationship.

A few days after the party, you had gone to his suite to see Steve for a project you were working on together. The boys usually spent Friday nights playing some sort of game together; it was their way of bonding and de-stressing after a long week. That was exactly why Steve’s text took you by surprise on that Friday night. 

Walking in through the door after Steve opened it, you saw Sam sitting on the couch watching TV. Bucky was nowhere to be found, his door sealed shut.

“He’s not here if that’s what you’re wondering,” Sam voiced, making you snap your head towards him. “That girl’s got him wrapped around her finger. I’ve never seen him act so much like a lost puppy.”

“At least you’ve seen him,” you thought out loud, almost immediately regretting it after the words slipped from your mouth. 

Steve popped into the living room, taking his previous seat and looking at you. “You haven’t… seen him?” He asked incredulously, a look of complete disbelief across his face.

“Not since Saturday, and even that was an accident,” you shrugged, taking a seat in between the both of them. 

You explained your recent, unwarranted dynamic with Bucky to the boys and they were more surprised than you were. They then explained their dynamic and how Bucky had even ditched practice to hang out with her, telling their coach he wasn’t feeling well. You sighed to yourself, not understanding how Bucky could ever get so distant from the people most important to him. It wasn’t like him at all, and it only made you even more upset to see Sam and Steve hurt by his lack of presence.

“I’m so sorry, kid,” Sam said, patting your shoulder lightly. “We figured he was avoiding us but we definitely didn’t think he’d ever do that to you.”

“It’s okay, I just wish he’d talk to me more.”

You stayed the night at their place, Steve eventually grabbing you a blanket from his room and making sure you were comfortable on the couch. Bucky had come back in later that evening after both Sam and Steve had been asleep, seeing you asleep on their couch. It broke his heart but he also didn’t have the guts to wake you up by taking you to his bed. He sighed to himself before walking into his room with tears glossed in his eyes.

You picked up more on Bucky’s sudden shift when you had gone home one weekend for a regular family dinner and he brought her with him. Bucky’s never introduced any of his flings to his mother before, knowing she was a woman of high standards. And boy, were her standards high today.

“Who’s this, James?” Winnifred asked her only son. You could tell she was serious when she used his first name, her eyes gazing between Bucky and Alina in curiosity.

“This is Alina, Ma,” Bucky wrapped his arm around her. “She’s my girlfriend.” 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Ms. Barnes—”

“It’s Mrs. Barnes,” Winnifred corrected. “How’d you two meet, James?”

“We have a class together and got paired up for a few discussions, then eventually started talking and now we’re here,” Bucky answered carefully. “I thought it was time to introduce you and Becca to her.”

“Hm,” was all she said. “Well, dinner is soon, so we’ll get to talk there.”

Winnifred made her way towards the kitchen where your mother was finishing up on the food with your sibling, not uttering another word to Alina.

In the dining area, you were helping set the table for dinner with Bucky’s sister, Rebecca, when she cleared her throat to get your attention. Looking up at her immediately, she looked around to make sure no one was hearing her before she spoke.

“This dinner tonight isn’t looking like a great idea,” she spoke anxiously. Rebecca Barnes was not one to be nervous about many things, so you were more than interested to hear her talk. When you didn’t say anything, she continued. 

“I overheard Ma talking about that girl Bucky brought home and it didn’t really sound pretty,” she whispered loud enough for only you to hear her. “I have no idea what happened but if I were that girl, I’d take the first bus back home.”

You shrugged. Nobody in either of your families knew that you and Bucky had been distant lately and you didn’t really make the effort to say anything anyway. You were trying your best not to overthink it and convince yourself that you were actually being replaced, though you really had no evidence otherwise.

Then, on cue, the lovely couple walked into the room. Alina met your eyes right away before you mentioned having to ask your mother something before dinner and excusing yourself from the dining area. Bucky watched you walk off in confusion, not sure if you were avoiding him or not.

The truth was that Bucky was getting a bit tired of Alina. He wasn’t one to flake on plans at all, especially not plans with you or his family. Prior to this, the worst he’d ever done was accidentally sleep through Sam’s birthday dinner. But someway and somehow, Alina always set up plans for them and Bucky, being the gentleman he is, didn’t want to make it seem like he was more interested in spending time with his best friend than his girlfriend.

But he was. Throughout the past few weeks, Bucky realized he depended on your presence a lot more than he’d been able to recognize—even before meeting Alina. He never thought much of it, seeing as though you’d been friends for so long and never tried to pursue anything further. He had simply thought you never had those thoughts about him, so why should he have them about you? In all honesty, he felt he was using Alina to distract himself from the possibility of wanting you instead, which did make him feel awful about himself.

Don’t get him wrong, he does like Alina. He thinks she’s pretty, smart, and has a great personality. But she’s not for him. At least he’s starting to think so. The knock of sense only came when Sam and Steve had decided to grill him about it.

“So what’s going on with you and this Alayna girl?” Sam asked, eyes laser-focused on shuffling the deck of cards in front of him.

“It’s Alina, and nothing crazy is going on,” Bucky said monotonously. “We’re just going with the flow.”

“Going with the flow,” Steve repeated slowly before taking a sip of his drink. “Is that what you’re calling it, Buck?”

“What do you mean?”

Sam finished shuffling the cards before staring over at Bucky. “He means we both thought you were definitely gonna end up with Y/n and then you brought the randomest girl in here and sat her in the living room instead of taking her back to your room.”

“Y/n’s my best friend, she always has been,” Bucky reassured. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Steve set his drink down. “Are you sure about that or are you trying to convince yourself of that? I don’t know, Buck, this girl just isn’t for you, in my opinion. I haven’t even seen you so much as call Y/n in the past few weeks which is very unlike you,” he defended. Steve knew that Bucky had to hear it from someone, and he was more than positive that you weren’t going to try to butt in out of fear of pissing him off or making it seem like you were meddling with his relationship. Nonetheles, Steve also wasn’t going to blow up your spot and mentioned your conversation with him and Sam. It wasn’t his place. 

Bucky stayed silent as Sam dealt the cards. He hadn’t talked to you the way you usually spoke to each other for about a week now, and if he said he didn’t miss you, he knew he’d be lying straight out of his ass. But he didn’t want to disappoint the first girl he thought he had feelings for.

But did it really seem like you were the one for him? You’ve both had your relationships and seen the end of those, both for yourselves and the other, and you’d always have each other’s backs in the end. But it was almost like an unspoken rule that you’d never pursue anything with each other. You’d never mentioned anything about it, neither had Bucky, and you were both too close for that to possibly be ruined by a romantic relationship. 

But God, had Bucky thought about it. He’d shove the thoughts out of his mind because he felt it was useless. But was it actually worth trying? Was he wasting his own time by trying to convince himself otherwise?

“Buck, it’s your turn,” Sam said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. 

“Right, sorry,” Bucky said before placing one of his cards down on the pile and finishing his turn by picking up one. “Did you guys really think I’d end up with Y/n?”

Sam chuckled. “Hell yeah, man. You two are perfect for each other. I think you’re also the only two in this world who don’t see it.”

Their whole conversation that day lingered in Bucky’s mind every day since then. But he never had the guts to speak up about them or break things off with Alina. He was too nice for that. He was raised better than to waste a woman’s time. 

He had just hoped he hadn’t inadvertently ruined your friendship in the process. 

Bucky and Alina helped Rebecca finish setting up the table. There wouldn’t be too many of you but it was both your family and Bucky’s, so there were always at least 6 mouths to account for. 

You made your way back into the dining room, your mom and Bucky’s following suit behind. Bucky’s eyes landed on yours, though you quickly diverted your attention elsewhere. Everyone took their usual seats, including Bucky, who always sat across from his mother and next to his sister.

This meant that the only available seat was the head of the table, which was Bucky’s father, George’s, seat. Much to everyone’s dismay, Alina decided to sit there for the sake of sitting next to Bucky. 

It was almost like someone had pressed pause on a movie with the way everyone froze and looked at her, Bucky included. Both ends of the table had always been left empty for your father and Bucky’s. It was another unspoken rule between everyone, since they had both always sat on their respective ends and no one felt the obligation or desire to sit in either chair. 

“You can’t sit there,” Bucky spoke up, his voice cracking a bit. “Sit somewhere else.”

“I was just trying to sit next to y—”

“I said, sit somewhere else, Alina,” he repeated himself, a lot more bass in his voice that reminded you of George himself.  

Rebecca quickly stood up from her seat before making her way to the empty seat in between you and her mother. Alina then took her spot awkwardly, the rest of the table entirely speechless.

“Let’s have dinner, shall we?” Bucky said stoically. 

That was the most awkward family dinner you’ve had in your entire life, and not to mention the most silent. Once everyone was finished, Winnifred was the first to leave the table, your mother following suit. The rest of you cleaned up the table, your sibling and Rebecca choosing to take care of the dishes. 

Since you were in Bucky’s family home this time around, the only space you’d usually sleep in was in Bucky’s room. Your mom had set your bags there, which left Alina in a space of confusion.

“Why are your bags in Bucky’s room?” She walked into the kitchen and asked you with an attitude drooling off her tongue as you were placing the plates back in the cabinets after drying them off. 

“My mom probably put them there, she took my things up,” you replied matter-of-factly. “I usually stay in Bucky’s room when we sleep over. We’ve done it since we were kids.”

Bucky overheard your conversation as he stepped into the kitchen, returning from consoling his mother from the sheer embarrassment he just faced with his girlfriend completely disrespecting their house rules. She didn’t know better, he thought, but he knew his mother wouldn’t take that for an answer.

“We can sleep in the guest room, Alina,” Bucky interjected before Alina could reply, not wanting another awkward situation in the same night. 

“You’re gonna sleep in the guest room of your own home for the sake of letting a guest sleep in your room?”

“Alin–”

“I’ll move my things and sleep in the guest room, Bucky. There’s nothing to worry about,” you stepped in with a stern shift in your tone, before walking out of the kitchen to collect your bags from his room.

Bucky felt embarrassed again. You had heard him starting to ask her not to embarrass him in front of his family another time for the rest of the night, but didn’t care to eavesdrop on a conversation that clearly didn’t concern you. Not after he’d ignored you for weeks. 

You didn’t speak to Bucky for the rest of the visit, driving back to campus without a single word of acknowledgment. It hurt, it hurt really bad. But you held your own anyway, and just tried to focus on doing your best without him.

--

part two.

#bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #college!bucky

[emeraldborealis]

Galaxy of Dying Stars

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x FEM!reader

TW//CW: Hurt/comfort, mention of cancer, reader has moles and freckles but no other descriptions used, a lot of star and galaxy metaphors, established relationship, no use of y/n. Damnation Leon.

A/N: A dear friend of mine requested me to use Damnation Leon with this idea and I had to oblige my muse.

Words: 1,850

Moles ran in the family, beauty marks that would pop up all over your skin, mapping out eras of your life, four in particular meant a lot to you on your right side, forming a rectangle, with two on your hip and two on your ribs.

You'd had them since you were little, they'd been there for as long as you could remember. They were a part of you, something you always associated with yourself.

Moles and freckles were the constellations that mapped out who you were. Some even believed moles appeared in places your lover kissed you often in your past life.

Cancer also ran in the family, and with two of your beloved moles growing bigger you knew you had to get them removed and biopsied.

But who were you without the constellations of the years of your life?

If not just a galaxy of dying stars.

Each one just another ticking time bomb until the whole thing would eventually collapse.

It was superficial, they weren't integral to your personality or who you were as a person, but they were still a map of everything you've been. Who you were when they first showed up.

The appointment was easy to schedule, just one call, that's all. But it felt like ordering the casket for the little girl you were when you first noticed them there. Back when you were so full of dreams, and the ambitions to achieve them, to reach that unreachable star.

The process of the removal was just as easy, some numbing and a blade carefully wielded in your dermatologist's hand, a simple band aid and the reminder to keep it clean, use Vaseline on it if you didn't want it to scar, and not to pick at it. Results of the biopsy and testing from the lab would take about a week.

It was such an easy process, so why did it hurt? Why did it feel like this?

Was this what a dying star felt like? Was this the beginning of burning out? Or were you already long past gone? Just waiting for the light to vanish from an already dead star.

"What's going on with you, love?" Leon's voice suddenly broke you from your thoughts, looking over to him from where you sat on the couch. You hadn't noticed him join you, wondering how long he'd been there.

"Just thinking." You were quick to brush it off, feeling too silly to actually explain or express the issue, and you knew it probably wasn't cancer. Didn't want to worry him. Even still, the wait to find out was still agonizing.

"About?" He prompted you to continue, to explain. Moving closer to you on the couch, draping his arm around you, rubbing your arm and shoulder.

"I got some moles removed today, possibly cancer. But don't worry- it's probably not. And not serious if it is." You explained, playing with your hands, looking down at your speckled skin, the peppering of color, too many little dots to count, but moles were special, bigger. Astronavigation.

"So are you worried about it being cancer?" He seemed a bit nervous, you could tell by the way he pulled you closer, glancing in the way of the kitchen, thinking of a familiar burn soothing his tongue, sliding down his throat to numb everything down.

He didn't like the thought of something like this. Something being a potential catalyst to losing you.

"Not really, I just... sort of miss them. I know that's stupid, but I've always thought of my moles and freckles like constellations across my body." Your words helped take off his edge, helping calm his racing thoughts.

"And now you've lost some stars?" He understood the sentiment, why it would feel like losing a piece of yourself. 

Even without the few moles, Leon was sure he could navigate the celestial plane of your body without a single chart, he could never truly get lost. Not when he knew it so well.

"Yeah, feels incomplete, like something's missing." Something in your internal gravitational pull felt shifted, like things inside you were spinning in a new orbit. Making up for the newly burnt out stars.

"Have you heard the theory that moles are where your lover or soulmate kissed you in your past life?" He leaned in closer, pressing his forehead to yours, and in a moment you were spinning from something completely different than a loss of proper internal gravitational pull.

"It's a popular theory. But I'm not following." Blue eyes that could put any galactical marvel to shame seemed to suck you in like a black hole, bringing you closer to what you knew would one day tear you apart.

"I gave them to you once, and as long as you love them I'll give them to you in every lifetime. Maybe next time they'll be able to stay for longer." He explained, pushing you to be laying on the couch. "Which ones were removed?" His voice was soft, but it was laced with something that reminded you how quickly the cold space between you could quickly turn into a blaze.

"The one's on my side, on my ribs." He took your breath away with little difficulty, a gateway to salvation. Something far more tantalizing than the sun, moon or stars. Nothing less than heaven.

"I loved those ones. I know why I gave them to you in our last lifetime together." He gently raised your shirt, folding it up, keeping it over your chest to preserve your modesty. He looked at your body with such reverence, like it was something to worship. Like it was a deity whose altar he would kneel at until his knees cracked, until he himself turned to dust, coming from and returning to the stars.

He lowered his head, bowing in awe to your divinity. His lips gently pressing to the band aids, kissing them with searing hot lips. He treated you like you were more than just a descendent of stardust, instead like you were the whole damn galaxy. A supernova couldn't hold a candle to you, a cosmic wonderland was the only thing he could think to compare you to.

"I think in your next life I should add a few new additions too." He whispered like a prayer against your skin, his hot breath fanning over you, breathing into you new life, new sparks. Gaseous nebulae imploding into new stars inside of you.

"And preserve my favorite astronomical destinations." His lips trailed over you, kissing your already existing moles, the one on your hand, the few on your face, neck, shoulders, arms. Everywhere. "I was so smart to worship you in entirety in our last life together."

Finally he brought his lips to yours, and in that moment it was like galaxies colliding, bursting with destruction and new life. He filled all of your senses, breathing him in like a psychedelic. He was seven times more addictive.

Your hands trailed up his chest, gently holding his face you brought him in closer, your thumb gently brushing over one of his moles. Holding him to your lips until your lungs burned in search of oxygen, only parting from him momentarily.

His moles next to yours were proof of how brightly your love burned for the other in another lifetime. It must have been blinding, needing the constellations of the marks you'd leave on one another to navigate it.

You'd map each other out all over again, a chart to follow of how to love the other the next time fate brings you both back together. An endless gravitational pull of two souls meant to be.

"It's not cancer." He whispered in your ear. "I promise. It's not cancer. The marks of love between us could never be the thing to hurt you. It's not cancer."

"I know. But I still needed to get them tested and removed, just in case." You tangled your fingers into his hair, gently massaging his scalp with your nails, making his eyes drift closed in enjoyment. A reassuring gentle touch. "It wasn't cancer last time, it won't be this time either."

"I love you. And I need to believe that our life transcends this one. I need to know that there was peaceful love between us once, and that after all the hell of this life, there will be peaceful love between us again. I need to keep the world safe for the next time we meet." Leon lowered himself down onto you, laying atop you and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"I believe it does, and that belief is all that matters right? Isn't that what faith is? The hope of things unseen?" Wrapping your arms around him you held him close, cradling him against you. Fingers drifting up and down his clothed back, stopping each place you knew he had moles.

His body was just as perfectly mapped out to you with astronavigation as yours was to him. Known almost better by the other than themselves.

"I can't keep fighting if it's not to be with you again. I can't keep losing people if it's not for the promise of holding you for eternity." His sigh was deep, releasing so much tension from his body.

"I know. I know, Leon." Placing a tender kiss to his temple he let out a soft hum, sinking further into you. His weight was never crushing, only ever comforting, like the warm blankets wrapped around you on a cold morning.

"I'm not losing you. Nothing is allowed to take you from me. I couldn't take it. Not you. Anything but you. Me, but never you." He wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you like a lifeline. The loss of his idol of worship would make him lose faith all over again.

"I'm not going anywhere, Leon. It's not cancer. Remember? The tests will come back and nothing will be wrong. It'd be too cruel for me to go through everything I have, suffered with all my afflictions, just to get cancer too. So, it's not. Besides, if it is, I'm tough. I could beat it, if only for you." The reassuring words were spoken in equal parts for him and you.

"You're right. You could beat it. Strongest person I've ever known, that's who you are." He kissed your shoulder gently, nibbling on your skin, taking it between his teeth, pinching you, making you almost yelp.

"You don't know yourself half as well as I do then, because if you did, it'd be a self earned title." Grabbing his head by his hair you gently tugged him to look at you. "No biting."

"You're one to talk." He leaned in, kissing your nose. "Can't ever get you to stop gnawing on me."

"What can I say? I'm starstruck, pulled in by you, no other gravity for me, brought to my knees from my need to collide with you." Kissing his lips always made things feel better, like stars aligning. It was a mutual feeling. A mutual need to be together until the galaxy itself burned out.

In this life, and every life down the road, you'd always be pulled together, your stars aligning over and over again. Two souls incapable of existing without the other. 

#resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #leon x reader #x reader #oneshot #reader insert #leon kennedy fanfic #resident evil fanfic #resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy #leon scott kennedy x reader

[yuikomorii]

Helloo! I don’t know if you remember me but I sent you once something about Yui in LE and now, after I played some routes, I can confirm that she’s my last fav Yui. 😬

// I have a complicated relationship with LE Yui, haha. I appreciate her for being more lively than CL Yui, but she mostly gave me the ick because she was definitely one of the most annoying LE characters.

I typically don't mind characters that are represented as jerks and upright mean, since you know what to expect from them, but I really dislike when characters who are portrayed as goody-shoes, do such messed-up and morally wrong things.

When I first went through LE, I didn’t start with Ayato’s route, given that I heard from many people about how tough it is and I wasn't emotionally prepared, so I started with others. I didn't like how she talked ill about her lover behind his back (more than once) and how her foolishness caused her to disclose critical secrets to people she shouldn't have and get into more troubles than normal. Nonetheless, I didn't think she was too bad… until Ruki's route, where she convinced the Mukami brothers that Karl wasn't a bad person because he returned their lives to "redeem" himself when we all know he only used them as pawns. But, if I thought THIS was bad, Ayato's LE route came.

~Things wrong with Yui in Ayato’s LE route~

1. Tried to convince Ayato that his abuser, Cordelia, genuinely cared for him. Given that his mother damaged his life, it's understandable that he would react negatively.

2. The main reason why Ayato didn’t want to trust Richter, wasn’t necessarily his trauma, but the fact Richter actually hurt Yui and, in his book someone hurting his girlfriend is unforgivable. Nevertheless, when his brothers started a scandal about Richter and all ganged up against Ayato, not even letting him express HIS point of view, Yui did nothing but stand there staring. Although, after Ayato blew up the mansion again as a result of reactive abuse, she acknowledged that his brothers attacking him like that wasn’t right, but she still didn’t say it out loud to defend him, when she knew the reason behind his actions.

3. After Reiji and Ruki became Ayato's enemies, she went to them without telling him, which made him concerned, to convey her man's sadness and loneliness. I'm sorry, but this was the dumbest plan ever, considering that it was evident they wouldn't have cared about it, and hearing such a thing made them even more eager to mock and plot his downfall. In the end, despite her good intentions, she solved nothing but made things worse, including being bitten by Reiji, which caused Ayato to lose his mind. Based on the previous events, I'm not shocked he believed she would betray him.

4. The scenes in which Ayato began acting coldly towards her were the highlights of his LE route. In other LE routes, after doing or saying stupid things, the disputes were resolved in the next chapter or those actions were never mentioned, but I enjoyed how she was actually humbled here. I adore Yui in general, but in LE, she deserved this treatment.

5. I assumed she had learnt her lesson, given that Ayato still cared for her despite his coldness, but then she goes to the Viboras to prove herself worthy of his trust. I liked how she tried to solve something (even if she didn't), but what made her behavior even WORSE was that 1) she justified Ruki giving Ayato a hard time and joining forces with the Church to kill him, and 2) she talked ill behind her lover's back despite telling Ayato the exact opposite face to face. I understand that Ayato didn't act very king-like, but at the same time, no one truly took him seriously or believed in him. Also, idk, but she should have tried to defend him, at least this time, instead of empathizing more with someone who hurt her man—?

I also find it amusing how LE is the only main DL game with no wedding at all, especially since Ayato was usually the one to marry her. I think he secretly didn't want it in LE, given that he didn’t even think of proposing. :”)

She’s definitely not a bad girlfriend though, but I wouldn’t call her a very good one either. I think that’s another reason why I don’t want a new game. I’m afraid they’ll ruin her even more. T-T

#admin

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: here's one for jude 😁 they're childhood friends, have known one another for so long, everyone says they are a perfect fit but jude brushes off the idea because deep down he doesn't want to admit he's in love with her, she on the other hand doesn't have time for relationships cause of her career as a ballerina. they stop talking for about three years until they meet again in madrid, she's dragged by her girlfriends to see real madrid play, that's when she sees jude, they reconnect with jude finally ready to confess his feelings, however one of his teammates tries to jump in the way. (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 761 words

(author's note: everyone thank @findingnemosworld for her amazing requests !! i did change the ending a little so i hope thats okay 🫶)

Jude always thought that Y/N was the most beautiful girl in the world. Her smile could light up a room, and her laugh was like music to his ears. They had been friends since he could remember, spending most of their childhood years as an inseparable pair.

What Jude didn’t realise is that Y/N felt exactly the same about him. His happy-go-lucky personality made her enjoy being around him, and the side of him that was ever-so caring made her fall head over heels for the boy.

But through Jude’s move to Real Madrid and Y/N’s gruelling career as a ballerina, the pair had fallen apart. This shocked everyone around them, as anyone who looked their way would assume they were a couple. There was no one else in the world who would've been more of a perfect fit together than Jude and Y/N.

Jude Bellingham wasn’t scared of most things. He’d played professional football for years. Suffered online abuse and gone through many hardships throughout his life. But the idea of telling Y/N how he felt about her had him shaking with fear. He valued her friendship more than anything else, so when he had to let his best friend know he was moving away, it broke his heart.

Y/N was devastated. Jude’s departure had made her lose her drive and motivation and her ballet career was suffering because of it. Her coach was pushing her to her limits to distract her from the gaping hole that Jude had left behind in her life with his departure.

Time passed, and the pair hadn’t spoken in months. But that didn’t mean that they didn’t think of one another every passing minute, of every passing day.  

Y/N had a break in ballet performances, and it just so happened that her dance group’s next show was in Madrid. Her friends had been given tickets to a football game, and she blindly agreed to go. Her friend, who had been given the tickets, was married to a player from one of the teams playing, and Y/N desperately needed a chance to relax.

Jude was sat in the changing rooms. He was listening to Vinicius Jr. give them a pep talk before their game against Sevilla. He had a strange feeling his his stomach but he couldn’t place it. 

"Jude, are you okay?" Luka asked him, noticing the look on his Jude's face.

“Yeah man, I’m fine”, Jude responded, brushing off his friend’s concerns.

And so the game began. Y/N and her friends sat, immersed in the game. She always used to watch Jude play, and the interest in football had stuck, even after he moved away. However, when the line-ups were announced and the players walked out, Y/N felt sick. She hadn’t seen Jude in three years since his move to Madrid, and the painful memories rocketed to the forefront of her mind.

Jude ran onto the pitch. As he stood through the pre-game formalities, his eyes wandered over the masses of spectators that had turned up to watch their teams play. However, his eyes widened when they connected with those belonging to a familiar face.

Y/N’s mouth dropped open. The look she shared with Jude was one full of shock and pain. Jude mouthed ��meet me after the game’ and she understood immediately.

It was an interesting game that resulted in a draw. Each side fought hard, but neither of them could grasp the winning goal. Jude had never been so eager to leave the pitch as he rushed over to where Y/N was waiting for him.

As he stood in front of the girl he had loved his whole life, he faltered. Jude knew he couldn’t hold his feelings back any longer.

“Y/N, I love you. I have for so many years and I-”

“Jude, I love you too.”

Jude stopped talking. He had been waiting to hear those three words come out of her mouth since he had learned what they meant. He couldn’t stop himself anymore. He stepped forward, cupped her face with his hand, and kissed her. 

Jude poured every ounce of love he had for Y/N into that kiss. The fondness he felt for her was unbeaten, the years he spent hiding it, filled with regret.

Once they broke away, the looked at eachother. The look was not filled with pain this time, it had been replaced with love and tenderness.

The pair left the stadium, reunited and ready to spend their days together.

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #fanfiction #fanfic #football #hot footballers #real madrid fc #real madrid #request #by ts1m1kas

[klausysworld]

Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party

This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍

Too much or Not enough?

Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.

She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.

As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.

She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.

So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.

She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.

She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.

Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.

The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.

She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.

And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?

And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.

Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.

One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.

Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.

And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?

So she did what she knew would work.

She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.

It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.

When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.

Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.

Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.

———————————————————————

It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.

Photos.

Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.

So she needed to make sure she looked okay.

She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.

She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.

She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door

“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately

“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied

“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in

“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent

“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed

“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.

Well so she assumed.

Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked

“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.

“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.

“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose

“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.

“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.

“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned

“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.

She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.

Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.

Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.

She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.

Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.

“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?

He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.

“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.

“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”

“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”

“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly

“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed

“It’s the only way that works” she argued

“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns

“Why does that matter?”

“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone

“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her

“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded

“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated

“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh

“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“

“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.

At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.

He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.

“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.

Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress

“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.

She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.

Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips

“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile

Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.

15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.

(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))

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