#is it dumb that i lowkey think we're soulmates | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cloudykaii · 1 year

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a real forever

pairing: huang renjun x reader

summary: you love renjun so much, he’s your soulmate.. so why did you let this go on for so long?

warnings: lying, manipulation.. jaemin is lowkey a coward, but i think that’s it

The mood of the day was a deep contrast to the atmosphere. The sun shined brightly outside the hotel window, and you could hear the music from the band warming up. Everything seemed glow in the lavish hotel room you were in, and then there was you; sitting on the bed in your wedding dress, trying not to cry.

With the beaded lace of the bodice and the material of the dress that had been altered to suit you, you should have felt like the happiest woman in the world. The dress and the wedding and the man would have been a dream come true for anyone else, but you just felt suffocated. It was never supposed to go this far. When Na Jaemin had become your partner on a project in college, it was nothing. The two of you didn't run in the same social circles, and the only things you knew about each other were what you had heard. You knew that he was wealthy and had a reputation around campus. He knew that you were quiet and stuck to your best friend like glue.

Then he had offered to let you come over to his place to do the project. That was where it all began. His parents had come home while you were sitting on the couch together. The work for the day had been finished and you were just waiting on Renjun to come pick you up, but his mother had started gushing about how he hadn't even mentioned he had a girlfriend, why hadn't he discouraged any of those nasty rumors then, and she was so happy he had finally found someone permanent. You vividly remembered having moved to tell her truth, laughing awkwardly, but Jaemin had beat you to it, slinging an arm around your shoulders and lying about how he was just nervous to bring you home.

After Renjun got there, he had followed you outside to whisper to you, begging to go along with it. His mom was so happy, and he'd been nothing but a disappointment to her recently. That had hit you hard. You knew what it was like to be giving your all and still feel like it wasn't enough. So you fell for it, agreeing. He had promised to break it off after two weeks, but then two weeks turned into a month, which turned into six, which turned into three years.

You weren't dumb, you had tried to break it off yourself on several occasions, but every time something came up. Jaemin would agree and then at the last second chicken out and drop some news. For example, one time he had tried but what came out of his mouth was, "We're engaged!" Which, of course, leads you back to the current predicament.

Honestly, you were beginning to think that his mom knew in some form, maybe not the exact details but she had to know something. Because every time you had tried to tell her throughout the wedding process, she flipped it. You told her you hadn't even known her son before the project and she waved a hand and said, "Love at first sight is rare, you should cherish it."

You tried to gently tell her by starting out with, "You know, Jaemin is great, but at first-"so that you could work it in but she had just laughed and cut you off with the joke, "Does anyone really like their partners at first?"

The final time you tried was last night. His parents had taken you out of dinner for a pre-celebration- as they called it. After his mother had had a couple glasses of wine, you spoke up. "Before we get even more carried away, there is something the two of us need to confess to you both." But Jaemin had looked at you with eyes of panic before interjecting that it could wait until after the wedding, it was just good news the two of you wanted to share.

But frankly, the biggest problem with marrying laemin wasn't that it started under false pretenses, or even that you didn't love each other- it's that he wasn't Renjun.

Renjun was your best friend and he meant everything to you. You had been in love with him for years, long before your fake fiancee had ever even come into the picture. He had been there through everything, and even that day when you had gotten to his car and pretended to be excited about Jaemin "asking you out," all he had said was that he hoped you were happy and that he treats you well, despite how you noticed the glimmer of something in his eyes. You and Renjun had never actually dated, but it had always been sort of unspoken that the two of you were together. You were closer than friends should be; always cuddling, hugging, Renjun would kiss you on the forehead a little too soft and a little too often to just be platonic. You were always together. He kept a picture of you in his wallet, you have pictures of him as your lock screen. Everyone just always kind of assumed that if you weren't together, you would be, which was why everyone was shocked when the news of your new relationship broke.

You wanted to get married, but you wanted more than this. You wanted more than just a façade of love, you wanted Renjun- who you loved. He was generous and kind, and so cute when his nose scrunched he wanted to tell you the truth about something but didn't want to hurt your feelings; and how if you went out, he always wanted to match outfits so "people knew you belonged together."

You wanted a real forever, you wanted more than this facade happening with Jaemin.

The weight of the situation seemed to finally sink in, and you couldn't stop the tears from flowing. You didn't know how long you cried until there was a knock at the door. You took one breath, then two, trying to make yourself sound more stable as you finally managed, "Come in."

The door slowly opened, and your heart broke all over again. Renjun looked amazing in his all black suit. It was fitted perfectly, which made you tear up again because you can remember convincing him to buy it for something much happier than this wedding.

His chest was heaving as if he had just run throughout the entire hotel trying to find you, but when he saw you crying he still moved for you immediately, sitting on the bed beside you and cupping your face. "Oh, sweetheart. Why are you crying? You're getting married!"

When you let out another sob at that, he pulled you into his chest, his heart breaking. Before he could say anything however, you started rambling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I lied," you hiccupped, moving to hold on tight to your best friend; he was your lifeline.

He knew what you meant. When you had informed him of the engagement, he had asked you outright. "Are you happy?" He hadn't believed you, but when you said yes, he thought you were telling the truth, so he supported you. Even if it meant breaking his own heart.

"I'm not happy, I don't want to marry Jaemin. I don't love him, I never did. I lied." You were ready for him to be mad at you, to have a billion questions, to leave you behind forever. Instead, all he did was brush a curl away from your face and smile at you gently. "You look beautiful."

You did. Even with your mascara smudged from crying into him, and your eyes as sad as they were, you'd always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I need you to be sure about this, Y/N. You told me you were happy, that this was what you wanted. We've never lied to each other before, so I need you to make sure this confession here isn't cold feet, and that you're actually asking me what I think you're asking me.”

The words tumbled out of you in a panic, trying to explain to him everything that had happened between you and Jaemin and how it began. Through the sobs, and desperation in your voice, he didn't really catch every word, but he got the gist. "Why didn't you tell me?" He tried not to sound hurt, but he couldn't help it. "I thought we told each other everything."

"He told me not to until it was over! And he kept saying he'd tell them, but he never did, and now he's acting like I have to marry him, and his mom wouldn't-"

"Breathe, baby." Renjun's voice was calming as he took both of your hands in his and held them together with one hand over his heart. "I need you to breathe, okay? I love you. I'm not mad, just incredibly worried. Has.. Has Jaemin ever hurt you?"

"No," you shook your head emphatically. "Never. He's not a bad guy, he's just-”

"A coward." Renjun said firmly, and when you opened your mouth he continued. "Baby, I'm sorry, but I mean that shit with my whole heart. He kept you tied to him in a relationship you never wanted to be a part of for more than three years. He is taking advantage of the fact that you want everyone to be happy and using it to guilt you into promising him forever. And for what? Because he's scared to make his mom a little upset?"

You were quiet at that and he sighed. "Go change out of this dress."

"Why?" you couldn't help but ask, and he smiled at you. "I love you so much, you know that right? The last three years have been like hell for me, trying to figure out where things went wrong and how I lost you. Then, that stupid invitation came and I.." he paused for a second, glancing down and then back up at you. "I didn't know if I could be your best friend and stay by your side while watching you love someone else, someone else who didn't even act like he loved you. Now that you've told me all of this.. it makes sense."

"I love you too." The words were genuine, they meant more than every time you lied to Jaemin with them, and that made Renjun's heart flutter; the realization sinking in that you mean it, this was real and he had you back. "And that's why you need to change. You're not marrying into the Na family today, or ever."

"Yeah?" you asked, lips quirked up as the happiness radiating off of him reached you too.

"Yeah, baby. I'm not letting you marry anyone else but me.. and if that means telling everyone how Jaemin kept stringing along into a lie then so be it. But you're my world, and I won't let this clown show take place."

"You were going to, though?' you pointed out, turning around so that he could unzip your dress and help you. His fingers dragged down the zipper, and he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. "Only 'cause you said you were happy with him, and not me. I'd do anything to make you happy."

You hummed at that, looking at him through the mirror. "I love you, Renjun. I hope you know that."

He let the dress fall and waited until you had a proper shirt on before grabbing your hip to spin you around and kiss you. It left you breathless, especially since he only deepened it to make it last by moving his other hand to cup your face.

"What was that for?" you asked as you tried to catch your breath, looking up at him.

"I couldn't kiss you in that dress,” he said softly. "But I needed you to know that I love you, too. And now that we're both on the same page, it's you and me forever, baby."

"Forever? Like a real forever?" you smiled a little at that and chuckled, pulling you into a hug against him.

"Yeah, baby. A real forever."

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