#is it just because I absolutely love jonathan groff? probably

[evelhak]

Hey! So we talked about Kuroko and Haizaki, and now I’m curious in your vision of other Kuroko interactions.

Not shipwise, since I know you only do kagakuro, but in terms of dynamics, what are your fav characters to write Kuroko with?

Lets say, top 3 GoM and top 3 non-Gom?

Oh my friend how you're letting me go nuts again.

May I suggest you get a cup of your favourite drink and maybe some snacks?

Also how do you expect me to choose...? Hmm okay, to make things slightly easier for myself I'll exclude Kagami of course since I've been talking about them a lot already and I also believe I've talked about Momoi at length at least twice in relation to Kuroko so I'll define GOM in the strictest sense for this, but I also won't count either of them as non-GOM haha. I hope that makes sense.

Okay, not surprisingly, I'm going to start with Aomine. I love writing him with Kuroko particularly because when he's at his worst they are absolute poison to each other and they don't really even know it for lot of the time or at least understand why, and that makes for peak relationships drama. (It's complex and I love it.) They have a particular way of feeding each other's weaknesses. When Aomine is stressed out, average Kuroko's communication style and philosophy actually makes him worse in the long run. Also Aomine at his worst makes Kuroko worse. This is because Kuroko's weaknesses at his most stressed resemble some of average Aomine's weaknesses (anxious, lonely and pessimistic) while average Kuroko's optimism and understanding actually give Aomine more room to spiral down because what he's subconsciously looking for is pushback and someone he can trust to practically force him to get it together and average Kuroko is always going to be too accepting for that. However. Here's the cool part. Aomine at his best has some of the strengths of average Kuroko (loyal, secure, taking care of others) which is why when he's getting better he's drawn to Kuroko's typical idealism and particularly when Kuroko is getting worse, Aomine actually steps up, and can empathise with Kuroko at his weakest because while it's a rock bottom for Kuroko it's all actually pretty mundane to Aomine and he can stay quite level-headed about it. Meanwhile Kuroko at his best can direct the same qualities productively as Aomine at his worst does destructively (confidence, independence, stubbornness), and that's why at his best Kuroko appears like he has got the answers Aomine has been looking for after all, because Aomine is actually looking for trust but he needs hard proof for it unlike Kuroko who at his average is just able to trust that things will turn out alright for no particular reason. This is in a nutshell why I love writing the larger scale of their dynamic. It just makes for such interesting plot twists.

Also it's so God damn funny sometimes. Like, I was writing a scene where Kuroko is pretty significantly sick and Aomine is pretty significantly enlightened and although it was a rather serious scene in my story, I just happened to come across a song from some musical that illustrates the inherent comedy of their practically reversed dynamic a 100%.

For contrast here's bit from Kuroko's POV when he had to take care of drunk Aomine:

I just find them hilarious to write and they bring me so much joy.

Then, I suppose the next one will have to be Kise. I just love how they poke at each other's insecurities and how incompatible their communication styles are. You're probably seeing a theme here? I just love it when characters' personalities collide in a way that causes a lot of friction and ultimately provides opportunities for growth, so long as both are eventually willing to go out of their comfort zone. Of course it's only so satisfying because there's so much they can help each other learn, which is true here as well. Kise and Kuroko can both be particularly annoying to each other, because Kise has this habit of putting the burden of interpretation of how serious he is on the other person and that really doesn't work with Kuroko so he's often particularly dismissive of Kise. And while Kise seems like he's bothered by it I think he actually finds it reassuring because it means that with Kuroko he can be as goofy, flirty, needy and attention-seeking as he pleases with zero consequences because Kuroko just deflects it. Obviously Kise actually doesn't want the kind of attention from his friends that he gets from elsewhere, so at his core he doesn't actually feel rejected by Kuroko, he feels quite secure. Meanwhile, I think Kuroko secretly likes the attention he's getting from Kise, because everyone needs some attention. Kise is getting too much so he finds Kuroko relaxing and Kuroko is getting too little so he finds Kise refreshing. And annoying. Because Kuroko actually craves direct and genuine interaction the most, and that's why Kise's way of avoiding it can get really tiresome for him, meanwhile Kise becomes instantly self-conscious and evasive when Kuroko attempts to get some unambiguously genuine expression of feelings out of him (unless they're on the basketball court of course where it's suddenly okay to let things go to your feels). So, as I want to develop their communication I end up writing stuff where Kuroko is quite fed up with their shallow interactions and attempts to get more under Kise's skin, which of course is way too much emotional work for Kise. But it slowly gets better, of course.

A lot of their interactions for me are also based on how Kuroko needs more of Kise's easy breezy "do things for the heck of it and don't think about the deeper meaning" attitude while Kise obviously needs the exact opposite and Kuroko is a great person to make him think about what things he's just doing because it's easy and provides instant gratification, and which things he would actually find meaningful in the long run. Kise has opportunities to make Kuroko less serious and Kuroko has opportunities to make Kise more so. I think Kuroko very much dislikes any shallow or vain feelings that he has and rejects them, but Kise can help him be more comfortable with that part of humanity, while Kise is scared of his deeper feelings, and Kuroko can help him with that instead. So both can find that the feelings they dislike in themselves or make them anxious still have their place and it's better to get acquainted with them.

It takes quite some time for them to get to a point they can understand this because it's obviously not fun trying to consciously work on your insecurities, but when they get there it's really satisfying.

Now I kind of feel like showing this development. So, here are three scene's from Kuroko's POV. Although two of them are with Kagami, but they are talking about Kise.

First one is a conversation on the phone.

About ten chapters later with Kise:

And then about 20 chapters later:

I just wanted to show you because writing this kind of development makes me so excited. (The sport they're talking about is quidditch/quadball.)

The third place is a really tough one because I enjoy writing Kuroko's interactions with every GOM and I think the reason I'm going to have to pick Midorima is actually not because I inherently prefer him, it's because his interactions with Kuroko naturally happen more because he lives closer than Akashi and Murasakibara. But this is how it is because the more I write interactions with characters the more I begin to like them. Kuroko and Midorima are a blast because of their completely opposing conceptualisations of the world. The funny thing is that they might not actually be as opposing as they seem, it's just that they are looking at the same thing from different angles and describing it in language that leads them to believe they disagree more than they do. Yes they also have completely different strategies to getting where they want but maybe it's not as stark as they sometimes seem to believe. This is where the most friction in their relationship comes from and I have done my absolute best to be fair about it, because I am so much more likely to see things in Kuroko's way and I despise horoscopes. So I think another reason I like to write these two so much is that it challenges my objectivity in a particular way.

Anyway, basically Midorima describes fate as something that is above humans while Kuroko basically says you can make your own fate, if you really simplify it.

But. I have these song lyrics in my mind...

"You can plan a pretty picnic, you can pick the perfect time, but you can't expect the weather to be fine".

That thought is still true for both of them. They would both agree to that from their different perspectives. So their views are not actually complete opposites. Just their reactions and how they deal with it, are.

As funny as it sounds, Midorima is actually uncomfortable with the 'supernatural' or abstract unseen realm of things, and that's why he's looking at sources outside of himself to control his thoughts about that which is uncertain. Meanwhile Kuroko can just casually be like "hey what if a meteorite hit the bench" and "cool let's go look for ghosts I've never actually seen one" because he doesn't fear the uncertainty. He is the uncertainty. For Midorima that is his pressure point. Kuroko gets strength from the thought that anything can happen because he feels familiar with and in control of the uncertain, so he believes he can work it to his advantage. For Midorima the idea that anything can happen is daunting because it feels like it pulls the rug from under him and his hard work. He just genuinely doesn't understand that realm of things, much like Kuroko just genuinely doesn't understand cold hard facts and numbers. And that's why they have trouble understanding each other, because they are always approaching things so differently even when they desire the same conclusion.

Anyway. I wanted to do something with Midorima that I felt canon didn't really do. I wanted his way of thinking to get Kuroko off guard and even question his view of reality a little. I wanted Midorima to be able to foresee something about Kuroko because of his strange relationship with fate and I wanted Kuroko to dismiss it because he thinks his way of thinking is above Midorima's. And ultimately Kuroko would be wrong. I thought this would bring more depth to their relationship.

I'm going to show you one key scene in that plot to illustrate some of the tensions in their interactions. This is Kuroko's POV and they are at Suutoku's cultural festival where Midorima is doing fortune-telling from tea leafs.

Alright, that's it for the GOM. I wonder if there's a limit with post length...

Then the others.

Well, there's Ogiwara. And he was not so discussed in depth in canon that I have definitely developed some of his personality on my own. He was obviously contrasted with Kagami and Aomine a lot and explicitly said to have some similarities but the way I see him, he is also similar to Momoi and Kiyoshi in a particular and pretty defining aspect, and that is that he can control the emotional atmosphere of the room. So, while Aomine and Kagami have a lot of physical presence, Ogiwara and these other two characters have a lot of social presence. But the way I see it Ogiwara is also the least manipulative of these examples, pretty chill in the way that he has less of an objective, like it's rarer for him to try to manipulate things to a particular end although he generally could if he wanted to. And I think that's because he mostly just wants everyone to be happy and to have a good time, which aligns well with Kuroko's instincts, so it's no wonder if their friendship was a pretty uncomplicated one before shit hit the fan.

There's actually very little conflict between them in canon that has anything to do with them as individuals. However that's also what makes the relationship kind of stagnant and less interesting because when there's no outside force, then there's nothing about them as people that makes them push each other enough to create the level of conflict and opportunity for growth as there is with some other characters. In some ways that's refreshing, but only as a breath of fresh air. Basically in a story it just makes for nice filler. There isn't enough meat to write for an extended period of time.

That's why, if I wanted to keep Ogiwara in the story in any meaningful way, I had to make something up, and I do enjoy what I came up with. A lot. One key aspect is miscommunication that is due to the fact that although Ogiwara is socially very smooth he doesn't quite understand that Kuroko is actually significantly less so, probably because Kuroko still has emotional intelligence and the ability to match a more a dominant personality (I mean this in a broad sense, not like dominating or something) in a way that makes interaction feel smooth, because the other person is the leading force whether they mean to be or not because Kuroko can pretty much just make it so. (Like in Kagami's case it's more like Kuroko is redirecting a lot of Kagami's emotions so he's not actually dominating it's more like he's Kuroko's 'material' unlike Ogiwara who actually means to lead the interaction.) So, Ogiwara has a habit of implying things, hinting at things, speaking with gestures and believing that Kuroko understands what he's saying, but actually the implications go completely over Kuroko's head. For example, their whole promise: Kuroko didn't understand that more than anything, for Ogiwara it was about staying in touch. Of course facing each other in a game was important and exciting in and of itself, but Kuroko took that way more literally than Ogiwara meant it, and became so single-minded about this one thing he thought his friend wanted from him, that he actually kind of forgot about talking, which led Ogiwara to misinterpreted it as Kuroko not missing their everyday interaction as much as he does. Because Ogiwara thought the implication of their promise was totally clear, while to Kuroko it wasn't. It takes kind of a lot to start seeing why things that are totally clear to one aren't so for another, so they repeat this miscommunication several times and it stretches out into the future so much that it turns out Kuroko's view of their childhood is in some significant ways different from Ogiwara's view of the same events.

Writing more of them together I also found that Ogiwara sees Kuroko in a quite different way from most people and can sometimes say stuff that other people probably wouldn't say:

I'm not saying he's right or wrong, and out of context it may seem like he's undermining the fact that Kuroko didn't have much options, but it's more complicated than that, just too much to explain here. I just put this here because it's interesting contrast to write someone with a little bit different perspective to some things, because his key points with Kuroko have been so different from that of the other characters in the canon timeline which Ogiwara was mostly absent for.

A character whose interactions with Kuroko I actually write way less than I would like is Furihata. Because they have similar temperaments in ways pretty much no other characters do, and I feel they would make the kind of friends who are perfect for peer support and venting to, if either of them could just be a little more proactive about it, but that's the difficulty with a similar temperament, isn't it? It's not just my fault, it's not just that the story is already so bloated from these other relationships, it's that both of them are also going to respect each other's space too much and are generally the type to just sort of let things in relationships develop in their own time. Obviously they both have a lot of drive to make things happen when they need to, but when they don't need to, they are both the type to be more likely to just sit back and watch things develop. So circumstances would need to force them closer to get closer. So far such circumstances happen here and there but not that much. Most often it's Furihata needing emotional support and Kuroko being there, because he has already gone through the same thing. This happens several times in my writing. It takes a while for things to turn the other way around because Furihata is more likely to seek comfort from someone, and Kuroko is more reserved in that way, but once Furihata grows aware of their similarities and differences he also makes more effort to make sure Kuroko knows he can be relied upon too, which fits quite well with Furihata's growth into a captain which is part of my headcanon too.

This is probably his sharpest moment so far, after Seirin's darkest moment in my story. (Kagami's POV)

Then there's Yagi who practically counts as an OC because I've invented like 90% of his personality but I love him so I'm going to talk about him. Yagi is sort of like if Aomine and Furihata fused in some ways. His insecurities come from lack of experience and skills but he reacts to them in a similar way as Aomine to his overwhelming skills, feeling like he's alone and no one can possibly help him. He's more even-tempered and timid, but his negativity comes through in a passive-agressive way and he basically needs someone to kick his butt at all times and he punishes people emotionally if they don't. You can imagine this creates some very intense conflict with Kuroko whose gentle approach to helping Yagi integrate into the team just... doesn't work AT ALL because he's an even harder person for Kuroko to be tough on than Aomine. Kuroko can kick butt when it's Kagami or another openly aggressive person as long as they are not being vulnerable. But Yagi is like... Nope. Nothing is getting through because he wants someone to boss him around but you're supposed to figure that out on your own and Kuroko wants someone who will tell him what they need from him. Match made in heaven right. Well, still it's not hopeless once Kuroko does figure out which string to pull (with the help of Aomine haha). But yeah, it's a minefield. (Not to mention Yagi also starts out as homophobic.) But they do develop when Kuroko realises that he needs something new to help him stay out of sight and Yagi is exactly that because he's radiating negative, passive energy as much as Kagami is radiating positive, active energy so when Kuroko uses both of them he has a double cover as the neutral point between these two energies. But what makes this difficult for Kuroko to figure out is that while Kuroko is technically using Kagami to hide himself he's not using Kagami in a sense that he would need to control him. Kagami is doing what Kagami wants, and Kuroko is using that which Kagami would be doing anyway. But Yagi isn't going to do anything unless someone makes him. It is when Kuroko realizes that Yagi is actually begging to be used, that the game changes. Despite of appearing otherwise Yagi has basically zero ego. He just wants to be useful but he wants other people to tell him how. (Akashi should have used someone like Yagi not Mayu lol.) This was difficult for Kuroko to get, because despite of being as team-oriented as he is, being a shadow was still always a sacrifice for him. Had he been able to he would have wanted to be more "normal". And he still does have enough ego to want to create something for himself and be in control even if it's in a less traditional more subtle way, and he mistakenly believed Yagi would want the same. But Yagi doesn't have that kind of desire. Kuroko is willing to sacrifice himself. Yagi enjoys it. Yagi is a "soldier". Well, in this case, Kuroko is the trickster and Yagi is the rabbit= the star of the magic show who isn't actually doing anything but who things are being done to.

Or...? (Kuroko's POV)

I just love to play with metaphors.

I don't have the best action writing skills to get the most exciting games out of this idea (and a lot of it is probably so out there that it wouldn't even work) but I am actually very proud of how it plays in the interpersonal and metaphorical realm of the story.

Okay. That's it for now. Looks like I didn't run out of space. I hope I managed to keep you interested.

#knb #knb fic #TOTverse spoilers

[crabsnpersimmons]

Hi, hello, your animatic has been living rent free in my head and I've rambled to a friend how much I love it, so I thought I probably should do the same directly to you! (I know this was a gift for someone else so I hope it's not weird gkjhdsf)

First of all, thank you for introducing this song to me, I'll be listening to it a thousand times XD

Second of all, aaaaa I love how well you fitted all the images to the lyrics!! All the shenanigans and fumbles are absolutely endearing! I love Sun using his leg as a fake guitar haha! And Moon flying away dejectedly with the cable when they think they already blew it. All the expressions are amazing, and I love how they can go from smooth and suave to nervous wrecks in a second XD But they always look so heartfelt in whatever they are saying! And I think my favorite part is when they are complimenting y/n, quickly switching so that each can say what they love about them!

And omg when they turn into Eclipse to get on one knee, because that's the part they both want to be present for aaaaaaaaaa

I am so not normal about this animatic at all, incredible work with it! The art style is delightful and colorful and so much fun! I hope you are proud of it because my god is it an amazing animatic! ^_^

chaotik!! this is so sweet thank you!! i had a long day driving in the snow and reading this revitalized me!! (and no worries at all, a gift to one is a gift to all in the fandom. that's why I love gift exchange events like this! we all get to enjoy the fun!)

you actually covered a lot of the reasons why i wanted to do an animatic of the full song. it's a great song (sad it was cut from Frozen 2, but it understandably wouldn't have fit plot-wise) and just a wonderful balance of fun and vulnerability and sweetness. one of my favourite songs about love tbh. the line "I planned to really try to be the opposite of me" just gets me every time—the words, the way the music begins to slow, the way Jonathan Groff delivers the lines—it's just so raw

and Sun's guitar part was one of the first ideas i had for the animatic! just the way the lines are delivered always made me think of air guitar, so i was really anxious to get that part right (haha) it's still one of my favourite moments in the whole thing (the fact this silly bean is acting all suave one moment and then pulls back to strum his leg like a jester rockstar. gosh i love this guy!)

i initially planned to cut it off at the part Moon gets carried off, because i was worried about time. but there was just so much i wanted to do with the animatic (especially the rapid-fire compliments and Eclipse coming out) so i'm glad i was able to do it all! it was a big project, but i'm so happy with how it turned out and happy i could share this wild song with everyone too!

also! you reminded me i still need to share all the thumbnails and the memes i said i would do once i finished! expect those soon!

#ask the crab #thank you for sharing your thoughts with meeeee #i love reading them i do! #it means a lot that someone would watch (and rewatch) something i made #and then sit down and write down their thoughts and share them with me! #same with comments and tags! #i hold them so closely

[lyssismagical]

When did I become the one who's always chasing your heart?

Parkner Week Day Six: “We’ve all made a ‘Happy Birthday’ sign” / coming of age / getting older

yes this is entirely based off the Frozen 2 song, Lost in the Woods 

 Being a year apart in age had never been a problem for them. It’s not like it was a big thing to be a whole twelve month difference in age. Peter’s the younger of the two, when they started dating he was fifteen and Harley was sixteen. Nobody at school blinked an eye at a sophomore and a junior dating.

It wasn’t like it was a big deal, the tiny age difference didn’t change anything.

Until Harley’s eighteenth birthday comes around.

It’s late August and they’ve been ignoring talking about the big change coming up. Harley’s graduated. Tony’s helping him move to Boston. Harley’s going to be gone in three weeks.

They’ve never really spent a lot of time apart. They’ve gone a week or two whenever Harley flies down to Tennessee to his family, they went all of July apart the first year they were together when Harley was home and Peter went to a nerdy summer camp with Ned. They don’t spend every waking moment together, but they’re used to seeing each other all the time, always being close enough to see if they want to.

With Harley living at the tower, they had sleepovers every weekend, they would walk to school together and Harley always walked Peter home, they spent lunches together, they had Academic Decathlon together. They spent a lot of time together.

And now they’d have to spend months apart.

Sure, Harley could drive. Tony had gifted him a car for his sixteenth birthday, and Harley would only be a few hours drive away from New York. He could come home every weekend if he wanted to.

But everything would be different.

Peter wasn’t sure if he was prepared for everything to change.

Which led to a big blowup fight after a few weeks of Peter burying the problem and trying to prepare himself for losing Harley.

“Talk to me!” Harley shouts, hands lifting in exasperation before falling back to his sides. His voice echoes into the darkness, the moon shining back onto them where they’re standing on the roof for the only piece of privacy they can really get away from Friday. “If you’d just communicate, maybe things wouldn’t be falling apart! Just talk to me!”

“I’m sorry.” Peter’s voice is an awful contrast to Harley’s shout, sad and pitifully small. His shoulders hunch over himself and he rocks back on his feet.

Harley drops to barely a whisper, “Talk to me, Peter. I can’t read your mind.”

“I’m scared that this is it.” He waves a hand between them, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling. “I’m scared that you’re going to run off to Boston and see what the world has to offer, you’re going to see all these people and everything’s going to seem so big and so bright, and you’re not going to be able to remember why you’re tied down here with me.”

Harley visibly recoils at the way Peter spits the last word. “Peter-”

“Don’t pretend like nothing is changing. We’ve been pretending for the last six months that everything’s going to stay the same, but it won’t. You’re going to be in college, Harley. You’re going to be in Boston while I’m trying to make it through senior year. I’m going to be your silly high school boyfriend and everyone’s going to tell you to let go of the one thing that’s holding you back. I’m scared!”

They both know how Harley would’ve reacted normally, with soft reassurances and even softer touches, defusing the situation and making everything okay, but they’ve had pent-up stress because of the other for so many weeks, that it’s hard for him to draw that kind of strength.

“Is that really what you think of me?” Harley demands, flipping back to angry without a second thought. “You think that just because Boston is new, that I’m three hours away, that I’m going to just move on without you? You think I’m so shallow that I’m going to get distracted by every pretty face I see? Are you worried I’ll cheat on you too? Is that really how low your opinions of me are?”

“Of course not-”

“Obviously it is if that’s what you’ve been so worried about.” Harley rolls his eyes and takes a step back, raking a hand through his hair. “Fuck, Peter, I know I’ll be in a different state, but it’s not like it’ll be hard to come see you or vice versa. I love you and moving to Boston isn’t going to change that.”

Peter rubs his cheeks, trying to rid himself of the tears that fall before Harley sees them, but it’s pointless as more take their places. “That’s not what I meant. I just- I’m me, Harley. I’m just Peter Parker. I wouldn’t- I’d never hold it against you if you-”

“If you dare finish that sentence with anything along the lines of me leaving you for somebody else, I swear to god, I’ll tell Tony you’re self-deprecating again.”

The older boy steps close enough that he can touch Peter, hands running up his biceps and over his shoulders, across his jaw and they stop, cupping his cheeks.

“You’re not just anything, darlin’,” Harley says. “Don’t believe that bullshit you tell yourself about not being enough because it’s not true. You’re more than enough and I love you.”

And it should be that simple.

But when is it ever that simple?

Things are still tense between them. Peter spends his time watching Harley, wondering if he’ll have to say goodbye to him and everything between them. He spends those quiet nights at the tower, curled up against Harley’s chest, trying to convince himself he’ll be okay without it.

Harley’s obviously working twice as hard to make everything work between them, asking Tony to set him up a credit card account with enough money for gas to make it to New York every weekend, if he can, for his birthday gift instead of whatever extravagant gift he was planning.

But despite Harley’s efforts, they fight over little things every few days, always ending with Peter crying and Harley, cursing himself, crying too because he’s always been a sympathy crier when it comes to Peter.

And after every fight, Peter wishes more and more that Harley won’t be leaving when their relationship is in such a rocky place.

“So, Harley’s birthday party tomorrow?” Tony says, very carefully broaching the topic.

Peter’s eyes are still wet and red-rimmed, moisture still clinging to his jaw where his tears had caught, hair still sticking up from where he’d been tugging at it.

“Yeah,” Peter mumbles, accepting the offered glass of water. “I don’t know, things are… bad right now, to say the least.”

“You’ll still come to his birthday party, right?”

Peter shrugs, but then he nods. He can’t miss Harley’s birthday party. That would be the last piece of their relationship falling apart, and he doesn’t want to be responsible for that. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Should we decorate?”

“Yeah, we’ll decorate. You wanna make a banner? I think Morgan’s paint is still in the living room.”

So Peter works away making a banner for the birthday party, trying not to think too much while Tony starts blowing up balloons, before he finally breaks.

“You wanna talk about it?” Tony asks.

“Nothing much to say,” Peter says thickly. He doesn’t want to talk to Tony about how young and small and insignificant he feels in comparison to Harley’s upcoming year. He doesn’t want to talk about how they fought for nearly an hour about something as small as cooking. It was obvious where the fight was going, how they were planning on living together once Peter graduates, but neither of them ever mentioned it in real words.

Tony shrugs, lifting an eyebrow. “Well, I can’t offer much advice, I still have no idea how I ended up marrying Pepper, but there’s one thing I know for sure. Harley loves you, kid. Like a crazy amount. He looks at you like you hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. I don’t think I’ve seen that kind of love ever except for how much you love him. That much is painfully obvious. I’m really glad you two found each other.”

“You really think it’ll work? Me here and Harley in Massachusetts?”

“If anyone was ever meant to be, if there was such thing as soulmates, I’d bet my money on the two of you.”

*

Peter holds one end of the banner, trying his best to look casual as he blinks back an onslaught of tears, while they wait for Harley to arrive to the surprise party.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to see Harley, and it’s not like he isn’t happy for his boyfriend. The last thing he wants to do is ruin his birthday party. But Peter’s still scared that if he says the wrong thing, it’ll be over for them and that’s the last thing he wants.

May squeezes his shoulder, offering a reassuring smile.

And then the elevator doors slide open.

Harley, for his part, looks just as much of a mess as Peter does. His hair is sticking up messily like he’d been pulling at it, eyes still a little bit puffy and red, remnants of old tears still shining in the corners of his eyes. But he smiles when he sees them in the living room, eyes lingering on Peter for a beat too long.

“Happy birthday!” they all call out, but the tension in the room is already rising from Peter and Harley, neither of them wanting to say anything in front of their family.

“Wow, thanks y’all.”

Tony rolls his eyes dramatically, letting the banner fall from his hands. “Alright. We’re going to go out, pick up some food for dinner later, and pick up your mom and sister from the airport. You two are going to have two hours alone here to fix this because I’m tired of you two dancing around the problems and being miserable all the time.”

Pepper laughs, quickly drawing Harley into a hug and then ushering Morgan to get her shoes on. May hugs both boys, pressing kisses to both their foreheads.

“Have fun!” Tony calls out, waving everybody into the elevator and winking at the boys before it closes behind them leaving Harley and Peter alone.

Peter lifts the drooping banner half-heartedly before letting it crumple to the floor. “Happy Birthday, Harls.”

“I don’t know how to fix this,” Harley admits, shrugging. He’s frowning, hands lifting in defeat.

“I’m sorry.” He knows it’s the best way to start mending the breaks. “I shouldn’t have been so upset over everything lately. I know this is on me. I should’ve been supportive and happy for you when you got into MIT. I should’ve had faith in us. I should’ve-”

Harley shakes his head, stepping closer to Peter to bridge the gap. “This isn’t just on you. I didn’t understand how hard this would be for you. I know it feels like I’m moving on without you, that I’m going to be farther away than I’ve ever been permanently, and I know you feel like it’d be easier if you distanced yourself now to make it easier when I’m gone, but I promise I’ll be here, darlin’. I’ll come see you every weekend, we’ll call all the time and facetime and text, and we could meet up on school nights if we meet halfway. Change isn’t always a bad thing.”

Sniffling, Peter moves into Harley’s open arms, desperate to feel close to Harley again. It’s been a very hard couple weeks for them and Peter misses him so badly. “I know. I trust you and I love you, I just- It’s hard to feel like you’ll be experiencing all these things without me, you know? I just sometimes wish we could’ve done it together.”

“I know but it’s not a race, sweetheart. It’s not like I’m winning a race just because I’m moving out and going to college before you. It’s not a competition, it never was.”

There will be plenty more fights in the future, and they’ll have to get used to all the change, but Peter believes in them and he loves Harley. That’s all that’s ever mattered.

He leans up onto his toes to kiss Harley, something in his chest finally settling at the reconciliation. He’s missed him a lot over the tense fighting from the past little while.

They’ve got two hours of time to talk and figure things out, but most importantly, they have plenty of time to catch up on missed time.

*

They make it through the year with flying colours.

Harley drives out to New York at every chance, even if it means having to do homework in Peter’s room instead of everything they want to do. Homework’s always nicer when he gets to have Peter in his lap while he does it.

Peter gets a car for his seventeenth birthday and he drives out to meet Harley halfway for cute dates every couple weeks when they can swing it.

They text constantly. To the point where Peter ends up in after-school detention for the majority of the year from texting during class. Not that he really minds, the teacher sleeps during detention so Peter can spend that time texting Harley too.

As a Christmas gift, Tony lets them stay at his renovated Malibu Mansion alone, as long as they promise to be home during Spring Break and keep the PDA to a minimum. Over the break, Harley helps Peter apply for MIT and they look for apartments online and create a collection for how they plan on decorating their apartment.

In February, Peter gets his letter of acceptance from MIT, and Harley goes all out for a Valentine’s Day date to celebrate.

Harley gets home in April and he spends most of the month and the two that follow, helping Peter study for exams. They go to Peter’s Senior Prom together, and Harley cheers the loudest when Peter crosses the stage at graduation.

They spend the entire summer like they’re lovesick teenagers, making up for all the lost time from the year, and getting prepared to be living together in Boston starting in the fall. Pepper nearly dies laughing when she sees the Ikea budget Tony set that they managed to blow, not that Tony minds, on new furniture.

In September, they move into their apartment together, happier than they’ve ever been and so crazy in love. May and Tony both cry while Morgan and Pepper roll their eyes at their dramatics.

They’ve got their whole future ahead of them. This is only the beginning. 

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spidey-reids-2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed  @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

#lyss writes #parkner week 2020 #parkner #parkner fic #peter parker #harley keener #tony stark #may parker #pepper potts #morgan stark #harley keener/peter parker #a fic based entirely off a song from a children's movie? Maybe #Do i regret my decisions? no #is it just because I absolutely love jonathan groff? probably

[serceleste]

hamilton thoughts part 1

Now that I’ve watched the Hamilton film 4 times and listened to the soundtrack more times than I can count (let’s just say I can sing the entirety of Alexander Hamilton, Wait For It, Hurricane, and Burn unprompted with no music in the shower - and perhaps more?? I’m not sure, I’m definitely close at least on Satisfied - and I can sing along with most of it lol), here’s an unorganized list of things I love!

Everything about Lin because I love him.

I love the whole cast tbh. I would marry all of them. I definitely have a crush on all of them.

When I watched it the first time I was surprised by how much I recognized, given that I had never so much as listened to the soundtrack, but it felt like every other line I was like, “that’s from Hamilton??” “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet it will have been worth it.” “I’m a trust fund, baby, you can trust me.” “Raise a glass to the four of us, tomorrow there’ll be more of us.” “I love my sister more than anything in this life, I will choose her happiness over mine every time.” “My mother was a genius, my father commanded respect, when they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect.” “What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” Etc, etc etc. The writing is so clever and beautiful and emotional, I love it.

The way Hamilton pouts and poutily says “okay” when Burr tells him to sit down and then immediately jumps back up again “one more thing-” in Non-Stop.

The crescendo and then the pause before that last “wait for it” (in Wait For It, obviously, lol).

Everything Jonathan Groff does as King George is gold but I’m gonna list a bunch of specifics anyway lol, starting with that walk.

And the way he shimmies his shoulders.

How he says “everybody” so menacingly and then goes back into the “da da da”.

When he stamps his foot and it turns blue!

His bouncy dancing at the side of the stage!

Then he does that drop during The Reynolds Pamphlet lmao.

Also I love when he and Washington share the stage for a moment, the way they eye each other and edge around.

“John Adams?!” I died. That ensemble member is adorable. (I am drawing a blank on her name, I’m sorry, I know she’s the one who will be in the new West Side Story!) I also love how she jumps to put the seat right under his butt when he gets mad.

The recurring theme in Act 2 of dragging John Adams is hilarious.

“Hamilton wrote the other 51!” Leslie’s passion is A+++.

“I think your pants look hot.” and Hercules flips his coat back and shows off his thigh. <3

“Laurens, I like you a lot.” They are in love and no one can make me think any different. Lin did it on purpose! Bi Hamilton FTW.

Plus, you know, the letter about Laurens’ death is soul-crushing. Hamilton’s face, I need help. *gross sobbing*

I also love that in the background of that scene you can see Lafayette and Mulligan on the upper level reading their letters.

Or how during Stay Alive, Eliza is up on the balcony presumably writing/about to write the letter to Washington asking for Hamilton to be sent home. There are genuinely cool things done with the letters and the way the performers are arranged, like that part, or in Guns and Ships, the way the letter gets from Washington to Hamilton.

Plus the way Eliza literally burns a letter during Burn.

It’s so simple in comparison to most of the rest of the play but I love the staging of Dear Theodosia, that it’s Burr and Hamilton seated side by side but separate, and the changing lighting. Lighting isn’t something I generally notice but they do some neat things in Hamilton.

The way the ensemble holds a board beneath Hamilton to act as a table for him to write at in Non-Stop is so neat, the way it builds into the physicality of him always moving.

Hamilton absolutely wants Washington to be his daddy, I’m sorry but he does. He wants those glorious thighs and he wants to kneel down and - okay, I’ll stop. :D

Jefferson even says “daddy’s calling”. I rest my case. (Yes, okay, I know it’s probably meant more as a nod to the illegitimate son rumors but let me have this.)

Hamilton and Angelica have an emotional affair through punctuation, I can’t. The comma is legit in the official lyrics!

Their whole meeting of like minds, mutual pining thing does a lot for me. Plus combined with the angle that Angelica is half too socially conscious to let herself have Hamilton and half too loving of her sister to have him when Eliza wants him.

I had too many things so I’m going to split it up, lmao.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

#hamilton #lin manuel miranda #alexander hamilton #hamilton x laurens #hamilton x washington #jonathan groff #king george iii #john laurens #hamilton x angelica #angelica schuyler #eliza hamilton #george washington #aaron burr #leslie odom jr #thomas jefferson #hercules mulligan #marquis de lafayette

[snarkwrites]

-- about my writing --

I’m currently taking requests / asks for headcanons [ can be either NSFW or just in general or a specific idea ] or fluff/filth Alphabet letters. These are the only requests I plan on taking. If you send me prompts / one shot ideas.. I won’t do them, sorry.

To see what the questions are for the fluff / filth alphabet, see [this post]

[ To my thots anon whomst I love with every cell in my body... Your thots are all going to fall under NSFW headcanons so please.. By all means.. Feel free to send me all the thots you want because I really really really really really enjoy writing them!!! Also, you can find the thots you’ve sent me on my nsfw masterlist, they’re not going anywhere. They were so good I had to add them to a masterlist somehow, I couldn’t resist. At everyone else out there, the same applies to you guys.]

So.. Here’s the thing.. I’ve decided that I’m going to be taking 3 kinds of requests. Those are as follows: Headcanons { filthy, fluffy or themed specifically at your choosing }, fluffy alphabet and filthy alphabet letters. These are the only kinds of request I answer so don’t send me prompts / one shot requests or ideas unless I specifically say otherwise.

Bearing the above in mind, I have some guidelines.

I’m only accepting headcanons (nsfw / fluff / specific theme &/or reader), fluffy or filthy alphabet letters. If you send me one shot ideas or prompts, I’m going to delete them because I don’t do one-shots.

One character per ask. I don’t care how many asks you send. But I ask that you only send one character per ask because that makes things a lot more simple for me.

You can send up to 4 letters in each ask if you’re asking for either version of the alphabet. Be sure to let me know whether you want filth or fluff or a mix of both. IE, you could send me something like this; character name - a, b {filth} & j v {fluff}. I’m not saying your ask has to look exactly like this but it does need to clearly state which version you’re asking for. The format I just did above was just the easiest way that came to mind for me.

The more precise you are with the headcanon requests you send, the better I can tailor them to you. If you just want an overall NSFW headcanon or overall fluff, that’s totally fine. But if you want a specific scenario ( friends to lovers, date night, weddings, the sky is the limit here) you need to tell me that. The same goes for if you want a specific reader (POC, plus size, sick, shy, virgin, imprint, etc) then I need to know that. It’s like I said.. The more specifics you give me, that’s more I have to work from.

As far as headcanons go, the things I won’t write are rape, incest / huge age gaps between reader / character. I’ll only write abuse if someone is getting their just desserts at the hands of character on readers behalf. Any asks containing rape / incest / huge age gaps are going to be deleted.

All asks must come to my inbox. I don’t take requests through DM or in comments on a post. If it helps, my anon is on, so you can request to your hearts content.

If the ask box is closed, this means I’m currently not taking headcanon or fluff/filth alphabet requests. This will also be noted on my blog bio and possibly a post stating why/for how long. Anything sent in after the ask box is closed will either be gotten to the next go around or it’ll be deleted, depending on the situation.

First of all... My content is meant strictly for adults. I do write some things that people underage can safely  read, but that is not always the case. I realize that I can’t stop minors from reading my work, but I can tell you outright that I’d rather you skip over it if you’re underage and it clearly states that it’s not written for anyone underage. Again.. I can’t do anything to stop minors from reading my NSFW content beyond just choosing never to post writing on the internet. And I don’t plan on stopping, so.. yeah.

I put warnings on everything. Reading those will definitely save you time and upset. If you keep reading something I’ve written and it upsets you in any way, I’m sorry but I can’t help. I warned you. You chose to take the risk -and most likely, you chose to skip the warning I gave before the post even started... It’s strictly on you now. It’s out of my hands. Any complaints or things of that nature are gonna be laughed at and deleted out of my inbox because I’m not here to argue or censor myself. I’m not your parents, just a peer. If you as a minor choose to look at me, an adult adjacent person, as an authority figure of any sort... First of all, why? Ya’ll.. no.. please don’t. I’m a hot mess, okay? To look at me like any trust worthy authority figure is... A huge error on your own part. Secondly, please don’t. I’m here to enjoy my favorite fandoms / post content for them. I’m not here to please people / censor myself and my content to make everyone else happy... Let me repeat. I put warnings on everything I post. If you keep reading and you read something you’re not supposed to this is now solely your own problem. Sorry, I guess?

I’ve seen other adults saying that they block minors on here. While I’m not gonna do that.. I will not tag minors in my NSFW content knowingly. If I find out you’re a minor and I’m posting something NSFW for a fandom you’ve asked to be tagged in, I will not be tagging you. Sorry. As much as I say I’m not here to parent you and I’m just your peer and you need to think of me like that instead, I’m also not willing to risk anything, either. I’m truly sorry in advance.

While I’m talking about tagging people / my taglist...If you want me to tag you in my writing, you need to be on my taglist. The taglist can be found [ here ] or you can dm / send an ask telling me you want to be added and I will be more than happy to do so. Don’t be afraid to ask me. I don’t mind at all! 

Every now and then, I’ll tag my friends in things I write. If I tag you in something and you don’t want me to, let me know. I won’t do it anymore. I’m not here to overwhelm or annoy anyone and I don’t want to come off as pushy, either. SO.. if you’re getting tagged or whatever and you want me to stop tagging you, all you have to do is let me know.

If you’re not on my tag list (or I don’t know you well enough to know whether you’d potentially want to read something) I will not be tagging you. If you’re a minor and I know for sure/think  you are and it’s smut, I will definitely not be tagging you.

Content I’m not willing to write or  you probably won’t find here: Incest and Rape. Those are my hard no’s. Just the thought of writing something like that makes me feel gross. I’m also not going to be writing huge age gaps in romantic stories either. (the closest I’ll come is like.. 18/19 and up to 24...) I mean absolutely no offense against people who can and do write things like this, I just can’t? 

American Horror Story; tate langdon, ben harmon, kit walker, kyle, dandy mott, jimmy darling, james patrick march, michael langdon, xavier plympton and night stalker.

Arrowverse; oliver queen, john diggle, slade wilson/deathstsroke, barry allen, cisco ramon, ray palmer, mick rory.

Bands / Celebrities; ask before sending because I haven’t done many of these and I’m still adjusting… Off the top of my head I’ve written for / feel comfortable with Nick Groff (ghost adventures), Jon Bernthal.. There are lots of others but alas, I’d stretch this out so badly if I added too many more names.

Boondock Saints movie; Connor Macmanus Murphy Macmanus & Rocco.

Breakfast Club movie; John Bender.

Castle Rock tv series; Dennis Zalewski, The Kid.

Criminal Minds; Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Hotch, Tobias Hankel & Adam/Amanda.

Crybaby Movie; wade walker.

CSI tv series; Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, Gil Grissom, Tim Speedle, Ryan Wolfe, Eric Delko, Danny Messer, Don Flack, Mack Taylor.

Dazed & Confused movie; Randal Pink Floyd, Mike Newhouse, Ron Slater, Fred O’Bannion and Kevin Pickford.

DC Cinematic; Digger Harkness.

Detroit Rock City movie; Tripp, Lex, Hawk and Jam.

Fast & The Furious series; Dom Toretto, Han.

Four Brothers movie; Angel, Jack or Bobby Mercer

Friday Night Lights tv series; Tim Riggins, ,Matt Saracen, Landry Clarke, Bobby Riggins, Vince.

General Hospital tv series; Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan, Johnny Zacarra, Dante Falconeri, several other of the guys on here…

Ghostbusters 80′s version movie; Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler , Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddemore.

Gotham tv series; Jerome Valeska, Jim Gordon, Joker, Riddler.

Harry Potter movies; Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom.

Horror movies various; Billy Loomis/Scream, Charlie Walker/Scre4m, Wade/ House of Wax, Tom Hanninger/My Bloody Valentine + others. Trust me, there are... So many others. I just didn’t have the brain power to think of them all at the moment.

Law & Order tv series; Barba, Carisi, Stabler.

Lucifer tv series; Lucifer Morningstar.

Luke Cage; Luke Cage, Shades Alvarez.

Marvel Cinematic; Bruce Banner/hulk, Captain america/steve rogers, bucky barnes/winter soldier, eric killmonger, hawkeye/clintbarton, thor, loki, pietro maximoff, venom/eddie brock, starlord/peter quill, ironman/tony stark, wolverine.. I’m a marvel ho.

Mayans MC tv series; Angel Reyes and Ez Reyes.

NCIS tv series; Anthony Dinozzo, Timothy McGee, Marty Deeks, Greg Callen.

On My Block tv series; Spooky Diaz.

Punisher tv series; Billy Russo, Frank Castle.

Riverdale tv series; Jughead Jones, FP Jones, Reggie Mantle, Sweetpea, Archie Andrews.

Shameless tv series; Lip Gallagher.

Sons of Anarchy tv series; Jax Teller, Chibs Telford, Clay Morrow, Juice Ortiz, Opie Winston.

Stranger Things tv series; Jonathan Byers, Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Jim Hopper.

Star Wars movie series; Han Solo, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Poe Dameron, Finn.

Supernatural tv series; Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley, Benny Lafitte, Kevin Tran.

Teen Wolf tv series; Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Derek Hale.

The Crow movie series; Eric Draven and Jimmy Quervo/Wicked Prayer.

The Lost Boys movie series; Edgar Frog, Allen Frog, David, Michael Emmerson, Sam Emmerson.

The Outsiders book/movie; Two Bit Matthews, Dally Winston, Darry Curtis, Soda Pop Curtis, Johnny Cade, Steve Randle.

The Walking Dead tv series; Daryl Dixon, Shane walsh, Rick Grimes, Negan, Glenn Rhee.

The Vampire Diaries tv series; Klaus Mikaelson, Kai Parker, Kol Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert, Damon Salvatore.

Twelve Rounds 3 movie; Detective John Shaw.

Twilight movies/books; Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Paul Lahote, Embry Call.

I’m gonna be honest here. I post on my own time, at my own pace. Some days I post constantly, sometimes it’s days or even weeks, and occasionally, a month before I post anything. So.. Now ya know.

If I’m not on and posting, odds are I’m busy, taking a break or whatever. But I’ll come back! I always do. 

Basically, what I’m saying here is I have no set posting schedule. At all. I post what I want when I’m in the mood to do so. Just something to keep in mind when you’re asking for headcanons / nsfw alphabet letters with characters.

#about the writer #psa #multifandom writer #multifandom about page

[helsaguy]

hi i love frozen and just found your blog and was hoping you could answer some questions because i see a lot of stuff on your blog that surprises me and that i haven't known. i hear rumors of some course correct going on but i was wondering if this is true and how people know this? what would happen? did they really think to redeem hans at one point? where did they talk about how they got hans' actor to come back? can helsa become canon with honeymaren and people wanting elsa to be gay?

If you love Frozen, I’m afraid you find my blog at a dark time. As I no longer consider myself a Frozen lover. Yes, I still hold some good old memories from the first film but all my love and respect goes to Helsa (Elsa and Hans). I love Elsa, I’m a Hans fan, and a Helsa shipper forever and always. None of those categories include me being a Frozen fan. And I don’t even want to talk about my extreme hatred toward- I don’t even feel like typing the title of that forsaken sequel.

Having said that I’ll try to respond as much as I can, as much as I know, and as much as I heard.

I’m going to add a cut here because this is a very long message. Like 1900 words long.

I have a little of an idea about those “some course correct” you talk about. But first of all; I don’t think anything is confirmed. It all started most likely with this video #StarsInTheHouse #30: Bobby Lopez, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Santino Fontana, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff. If you go to ‘1:07:50′ you hear Kristen Anderson-Lopez mention “Frozen 3″ but nothing is really said about a third movie happening. I think someone asked if there was a wedding somewhere. And Kristen says that’s Frozen 3. So I assume she’s talking about a Kristanna wedding happening for Frozen 3. Then again I don’t even know if they are being serious or they are just playing around talking about a Frozen 3 that is not in the making.

Josh Gad then jumps saying that ‘he won’t come back for a Frozen 3 if Santino Fontana doesn’t come back.’ Josh says that Santino has to come back. Santino either is touched by Josh’s words or he plays being touched by Josh’s words. Then Kristen says that there are a lot of angry people on the internet complaining about the same thing; I assume she means Santino not coming back for the sequel. And Robert adds that some people complain or blame the Anderson-Lopez for that? But the couple says they had nothing to do with that. Jennifer is the main culprit. Santino seems to appreciate that people want him back but comments about being hard to do so after “hanging a sword over a girl’s head” and he goes to talk about him now being father to a girl. Josh Gad goes to talk about how Darth Vader tried to kill both his children and he still was redeemed, meaning that there’s still hope for Hans.

And here I have to say that people seriously need to stop with the idea that Hans is this demon that came from Hell because they couldn’t be more wrong. This whole thing of Hans being an “Irredeemable monster” is so f*cking stupid and so f*cking forced. I’m so sure it came right from Jennifer Lee’s a** to spite fans. There are thousand of Disney villains, real villains, who are real monsters. Who have done far worse than Hans. But Hans is the one getting this absurd amount of hate? Are they f*cking kidding me?

I don't hold anything of importance said on that video as set in stone. But anyone who wants or needs to think there is truth in that conversation can come to the conclusions of:

A Frozen 3 could happen. I think anyone knew already that if this franchise keeps being popular, Disney would figure out a way to make a third film. Because all they care about is dirty money. Personally I'm only interested in a third film if they bring back Hans, redeem him, and have Helsa happening at-freaking-last. If they are going to make a third film all about Kristanna getting married and Elsa being treated like an immaculate supernatural being in the forest, all the while Hans keeps being forgotten and mocked for some cheap laughs, Jennifer Lee and her crew can very well go f*ck themselves with a giant cactus for all I care. That's just my personal opinion. My very strong personal opinion.

Josh Gad and the Lopezes, mostly Josh Gad, want Santino Fontana back. Which at that I’d like to think it is because they see how much he is missed and they know his character has so much to give. Also I would like to believe they are talking this way for the sake of the fans. Hans not coming back at all is one of the main reasons for why I’m beyond pissed at the Frozen sequel and I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.

“What would happen?” I don’t know what you mean by that.

“Did they really think to redeem Hans at one point?” Definitely yes. And this is the interview that gave many Hans fans, me absolutely included, hope 6 years ago. Jump to ‘minute 17′ and they start talking about the Frozen sequel. Santino got in contact with the writers to see if he was going to be in the new film and - I’m really feeling like insulting the writers right now. But I won’t because I have to focus on the fact that it is the directors and not the writers calling the shots - the writers tell Santino that they want to bring him back and redeem him. This has been known for years and the fact that Hans’ “participation” in the sequel turned out to be f*cking nothing, is a huge problem for me. A very huge problem. If there’s not foam coming out of my mouth right now, I’m sure that at least my blood is boiling in my veins.

I’ve read more about the dropped redemption plot from @leepunzel​. But I don’t know how reliable she or “her source” really is. So it’s up to you if you want to ask her more about this.

"Where did they talk about how they got Hans' actor to come back?” I don’t know where you get “Santino coming back” is a fact. Like I said, I don’t think anything of that Stars in the House video is official. As far as I know there’s been talks about a “Frozen 3″; I’ve seen people on YouTube who have access to press information drop the title, “Frozen 3″. But nothing is fully official or confirmed yet.

Also, 6 years ago Santino was ready to come back. Now? I don’t see him that convinced if the opportunity presents. Which, being brutally honest, I find truly sad. Painful even. I want Santino Fontana to come back. Hans’ redemption and Helsa are the only things that would make me want to give my money to Disney again. But I don’t blame the actor if for whatever reason he doesn’t come back if this “third movie” ever happens. God, there’s nothing I want more than for Hans’ redemption and Helsa to happen. Disney can come up with all the animated movies and live action remakes they want. But all I want, all I need, all I care about is Hans’ redemption and Helsa. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“Can Helsa become canon with *one*m*r** and people wanting Elsa to be gay?” Yes. Personally I don’t care about the new characters. They could be dropped and completely forgotten for a third movie and I seriously wouldn’t care. I think most people wouldn’t care. None of the new characters are relevant or important. And I think the only new characters people really care or talk about are the fire and water spirits anyway. I dare say that Helsa happening has even more chances of succeeding because that would be a compelling story and it wouldn’t cause the film to be banned in other countries. Besides, every time Disney (or Pixar) has come up with LGBT characters in their films they always seem to get backlash. It’s clear that it doesn’t matter how much Disney tries to insert an LGBT character, it just doesn’t work in a positive way. That’s what I’ve seen anyway. Very few people show their approval at the revelations while most only critique, bash, and complain. And I doubt very much Disney wants Elsa to be victim of that kind of treatment. While if Helsa happens, the story will obviously have to show how Hans really doesn’t want to be “the monster everyone thinks he is” and they would show how Hans and Elsa really grow to care for each other. Could something like that generate backlash? In my opinion it shouldn’t. Maybe a little? But it really shouldn’t. However I’m convinced that story would be beautiful.

"If we get Frozen 3 what do you think will happen and what do you think they can do with the characters with where they are right now?”

If Frozen 3 happens, I will always want nothing more than what I have already stated several times. But I really don’t trust the directors and writers. So I have no idea what they will do. Probably come up with bad ideas and poor development and characterizations like they have done already in the sequel. It’s going to be super hard for them to come back from that fiasco in my eyes.

What do I think they can do with the characters? First of all I think they should break Kristanna up. There’s this deleted scene from the sequel where Kristoff actually has a serious character arc that involves him being insecure or uncomfortable living a “royal life” and I think it hints at Anna thinking that maybe they shouldn’t be together? I think that’s neat. I think I haven’t seen that in a while in a Disney movie. The last time I saw a couple deciding they shouldn’t be together was at the end of Pocahontas 2. But not many pay attention to that direct-to-video sequel xD Quite frankly the whole idea of Kristoff being married to a queen and having to live as a royal is one of the most uncomfortable things the sequel came up with. I can’t imagine for the life of me that Kristoff is the type of character that would want something like that. For a character like Aladdin that story works. He wanted the life in a palace style and I loved how in the live action movie it is clear that Jasmine is the one who wants to rule the kingdom and Aladdin just wants to be there for her as her right hand. But as much as I imagine Kristoff wants to be there for Anna, the palace life doesn’t suit him. He never expressed wanting that life. And the same goes with Anna wanting to be queen. That’s not the life she wanted either. The whole “Anna being queen” thing did ruin Kristanna for me.

Hans is easy because he is a resourceful and adaptable character. To me his home lies with Elsa. If Elsa stays in the forest, Hans can adapt. I would imagine he would even adapt faster than Elsa to that life. If Elsa goes back to Arendelle, Hans definitely has things he could do. He could want to take a simple job as a commoner if he doesn’t have his royal title anymore. He could go for a military position as he already has military training. Or he could be taken as an advisor for either Anna or Elsa (if Elsa wants to take back the responsibility she literally dumped on her sister’s shoulders), as Hans has shown aptitudes as a diplomat and leader. He could be a big help for the inexperienced Anna, or he could help lift some of those duties from Elsa’s shoulders when she feels she needs some time out for her sake. Hans is more valuable as an ally than an enemy. And the directors were seriously stupid when they decided to keep him out. No wonder Hans wanted to “find his own place” in Arendelle. He really does have so much good to offer.

Something also interesting, although too political maybe, would be the "what if" Anna and Elsa want to end the monarchy? What if Elsa doesn’t want to be queen again and Anna doesn’t want to be either? Maybe Anna remembers she actually wants to have an outdoors life with Kristoff, or she just doesn’t find herself as queen? I honestly think that job will consume her. What if Elsa and Anna come up with an idea to turn Arendelle into a democracy or whatever? Both sisters would be free to do and go wherever they want.

This last option is the most unlikely to work, but who knows. Disney could find a way to not make it sound so political.

#frozen 2 #frozen 3 #santino fontana #helsa #future of frozen #my pov #dfg musings #dfg answers

[conradashwood]

is that [JONATHAN GROFF]? no, that’s just [CONRAD DASHWOOD]. [HE/HIM] is [THIRTY] years old and is an [OWNER OF WHAT THE BOOK?]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [FIFTEEN YEARS]. on a good day, they’re [LOGICAL & ARTICULATE]. but watch out! they can also be [CAUTIOUS & GRACELESS]. [MAYBE BY LEWIS CAPALDI] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill! 

Ah, hieee, friends. i’m LA, I've been looking for a rp to join for a little bit now, so I’m v excited to be here w my bb Conrad ( he goes by Dash, as well ). I've got some wc’s for him, a few simpler ones and an ex connect that i think would be fun to have around for Conrad, i’ll list a few below and just lmk if you’re interested. also up for anything i might not have listed / brain storming etc.

FULL NAME: Conrad Jeremy Dashwood NAMES HE GOES BY: Conrad & Dash DOB | AGE: February 02, 1990 | 30 EDUCATION: Ph. D in English & Literary Arts & Associates in Marine Sciences OCCUPATION: Owner of What The Book? SEXUALITY: Bisexual

          notable character traits + articulate, disciplined, faithful, logical, thorough, studious, understanding, warm -  graceless ( clumsy ), self-critical, anxious, cautious, passive

          hobbies & interests learning, reading & doing research, writing, shopping ( @ antique and thrift shops, mostly ), swimming & all sorts of water sports, volunteering, aquatic animals, sudoku & crossword puzzles

                                                         ~

> moved to Springhill with his parents when he was 15 - his father got a job offer as the department head of physics at Rutgers uni. Being from a small town originally, his parents opted to live in Springhill. Conrad has been here since despite when he left to nyc for college where he went to nyu for his PhD in English & Literary Arts. He’s currently in the process of taking online courses for Marine Sciences, another one of his bigger interests.

> loves to learn ; reading has been and is one of his biggest hobbies growing up. He also loves to write, he’s got a couple of rough drafts for books that he’s too self-conscious of to even attempt to get published. 

> used to work as an English professor as the community college in town for a couple of years, but left when he had the opportunity to buy What the Book? from the original owner - whom he’d known since he was a teen - it seemed like the right move for himself, so he plans on making the best out of it. He’s been the owner for only a year and a half now.

> he tends to be v cautious & anxious when it comes to letting someone else in. Comes off a bit on the shy side when he’s around people he doesn’t know, is also a total clutz. Luck doesn’t ever seem to be on his side, but he tries to make the most of the cards he’s dealt.

> is a ball of sunshine, usually. He’s optimistic & tries to look on the bright side of most situations he might find himself in, he also tends to be logical. 

> hobbies include a lot of water sports - he grew up on the water. Now he gets his fix whenever he might hit one of the beaches off of NYC. He has a fascination of aquatic animals. Another hobby of his is doing research, as well as shopping & interior decorating. He’s always changing up his interior decor depending on what he might find. His style tends to be a bit basic - button ups over t-shirts, jeans or pants, he tends to be more creative with his surroundings. 

> while he does tend to be cautious around others & about those he lets in his life, he also manages to wear his heart on his sleeve.

> he’s honestly a sweetheart & genuine person, but like most people, he can be an asshole when provoked only for Conrad and his passive nature, it might take a bit more to get him to that point depending on the situation.

> he’d been bicurious for a very long time & only acted on his desires a couple of years ago, coming to the realization & acceptance that he’s bisexual.

> he’s been hurt & he’s been the one doing the hurting. He broke up with his most recent girlfriend ( probs about 3 years back now ) because of his confusion w his sexuality which caused a lot of confusion for himself and issues in their relationship. He was cheated on in his more recent relationship with a man which really knocked his confidence & ability to trust others down quite a few pegs.

C O N N E C T I O N S

honestly anything & everything, but to strike up some inspo, I’ve got a little list of some that I’d absolutely love for him:

FRIENDS & a couple of BEST friends ex girlfriend ( would probably take a couple, but his more recent ex gf is def wanted ) ex boyfriend ( someone that’s capable of cheatingggg oof, there’d still be feelings on conrad’s end of things ) neighbors ( he lives in an apartment, so there can be a few ) people that tend to make appearances at What the Book? college buddies / old college roommates someone that conrad’s crushing on, unrequited or not ( preferably a male that manages to bring out conrad’s bashfulness ) an older crush of his ( male and / or female ) tinder dates  employees at What the Book? ex coworkers 

#springhillintro #like & expect a dm from little ole' meeeee #( ❛ conrad ❜ | musings )

[jgroffdaily]

With Frozen 2 now playing in theaters, I recently sat down with Jonathan Groff to talk about making the highly anticipated sequel. During the wide-ranging conversation, Groff talked about when he knew they were going to make the film, how the film pushes away from the norm by not having a “villain” and instead features the main characters grappling with their own growth and change, Kristoff’s ‘80s inspired song that has adults laughing out loud, how the filmmakers have flipped what the male love interest is going through by having him struggling with how to communicate to the woman he loves, what it will take to get the cast to perform all the Frozen music on tour, what song he was sad to see not make the finished film, and more. In addition, he talked about the status of Mindhunter season 3, if he’s had any pressure to get on social media, if he thinks Frozen 3 will happen, the difference between the West End and Broadway theater audiences, and a lot more.

Check out what Jonathan Groff had to say below.

Collider: So let’s jump into the most important question.

JONATHAN GROFF: Okay.

When do you start filming Mindhunter season three?

GROFF: (laughs) I don’t know. TBD.

I know [David] Fincher’s making a movie, so that’s going to take him out for at least eight months.

GROFF: Yeah, we couldn’t do it ‘til after he was done with that.

Yeah. It’s still not fast enough. I saw Holt [McCallany] recently and mentioned that to him as well, and I basically have said repeatedly I need 50 episode seasons.

GROFF: Oh my God. And you know that he and I would be so down. We’re ready. We’re ready. Whenever the call comes, we’re ready to jump.

Yes. I just want to start the interview off with the most important thing.

GROFF: I love you for that.

Yeah, listen. I love that show, and all of us on the site love that show.

GROFF: Oh, good.

It’s so good.

GROFF: Good.

I can keep on going, but I’m going to stop. So, jumping into why I get to talk to you, first, let me start by saying congratulations. The pressure, or the difficulty of making a great sequel to such a beloved movie is really hard, and you guys did it. Do you know where you are today and what day in the promotion process it is?

GROFF: I do.

Because you guys have been going nonstop.

GROFF: I jumped on. So the group went to Toronto, but I’m actually doing a revival of Little Shop of Horrors right now off-Broadway, and so I know that this is day three of my promotion experience, because I left the show on Sunday. I got here on Monday. Our first thing was on Wednesday… Oh no. So, it’s day four. I already messed it up. It’s day four. (laughs)

So you must’ve put it in your contract for Little Shop that you… Disney must’ve said you have to be able to promote?

GROFF: Yes. In May when the director of Little Shop, Michael Mayer, called and asked me to do it, I said, “Oh, I’m not doing anything this fall, except I have to have off for these two weeks.” And they said yes, so they knew it from the very beginning. They hired an amazing actor named Gideon Glick, who I did Spring Awakening with back in the day, to replace me for these two weeks.

Have you done anything on the West End?

GROFF: I have, actually.

My question is, and I’ve been asking this of all the actors I talked to who do theater, do you notice a difference between the audiences in the West End and Broadway?

GROFF: Yes. The biggest, I think, difference [in the West End] would be less vocal, less standing up, less standing ovations. It’s just a cultural difference in that Americans are more apt to jump up and clap and be more vocal throughout the course of any given performance, and the Brits are a little more reserved.

Do the Brits ever do the standing ovation at the end?

GROFF: Yes.

So when they do it, they mean it?

GROFF: A hundred percent, and the two times that I’ve been in the audience of a West End show where it’s felt like an American audience was The Book of Mormon and Hamilton.

Oh yeah.

GROFF: Yeah.

And you felt that energy?

GROFF: Yeah. I was like, “Well, I could it be in New York right now. This is how crazy these shows are making the audience, even in London.” I remember also Lin [Manuel Miranda] telling me that the difference between — because I did Hamilton on Broadway for almost a year. And then they took it to London, and he said that it was the same reaction except when Aaron Burr sings, “I’m keeping her bed warm while her husband is away” randomly in his song Wait For It, it gets a huge laugh in London. Never had a laugh in America. There’s the one difference between the British and the American audience.

That’s so interesting.

GROFF: So bizarre, right?

It’s also very bizarre.

GROFF: I know.

Switching gears completely — I appreciate you sharing the theater stuff — how early on did you know that the sequel was going to get made, and how long did you have to keep it a secret?

GROFF: I didn’t know early on at all. Probably a year and a half after the first one I found out that they were making a second one, and it was sort of like, they announced that they were making, they asked us to do it and they announced it sort of all at the same time, so I never felt like I was really keeping a secret.

Oh that’s not bad.

GROFF: No, not bad at all.

My favorite part of this movie is, besides the animation and everything, I love that there’s just no villain, that there’s no guy or girl trying to get her powers or come between them.

GROFF: Yeah.

It’s so refreshing.

GROFF: Yeah.

And it’s really so well done. Can you sort of talk about that aspect of the film?

GROFF: Yeah, I think that really, ultimately, the biggest challenge sort of that each of the characters have in kind of a general way is grappling with their own self growth and change. So Idina [Menzel] is scared of, but excited to follow, the voice that’s calling to her, and that sort of trickles down then into all of the characters. So Anna’s learning how to let her sister go, and let her sister do her own thing, and leave her to her own devices to survive. Olaf is asking really challenging existential questions about life as he gets older.

Of course.

GROFF: And Kristoff is ready to take his relationship to the next level with Anna, but he’s really not good at communicating and expressing himself. Then halfway through the movie is given an amazing ’80s inspired rock jam to be able to do so. (laughs)

That song — little kids are not going to get it. When I saw it last night, the adults in the audience were laughing hard.

GROFF: Right.

So talk a little bit about how that song really plays for adults.

GROFF: Yeah, totally. Bobby and Kristen Lopez told me that they were going to try and get a song in for my character in the movie. I thought, “That’s so nice of them to say that, but it just seems… How are you going to make the mountain man sing? I want to hear the girls sing. I want to hear Idina belt out a hundred numbers. Who wants to hear Kristoff sing?” I couldn’t figure out story-wise, because they’re so passionate and invested in storytelling as opposed to just writing catchy songs. And they thought of this amazing arc with Kristoff of him trying to propose and not being able to, and then ultimately getting frustrated by his inability to do so and busting out on this ’80s song, which I think that a lot of dudes, particularly parents of the kids that are coming to see the show, like you said, can relate to that genre and that time period in the ’80s as a way to really let it go and self-express. And Kristen Anderson-Lopez mentioned earlier, they wrote Let It Go for Elsa in the first movie and it inspired all these girls to feel their power. On the flip side of that, in the second movie, here is a song for a male character that perhaps will invite boys to get in touch with their feelings. Sven says, “You feel what you feel and your feelings are real. Come on Kristoff, let down your guard.” And so if little boys all over the world are hearing that, hopefully they’ll be inspired to express themselves.

It is pretty crazy to realize the first movie has been seen — I can’t even imagine the amount of people around the world that have actually seen the first movie, repeatedly.

GROFF: Yeah, right.

And to realize that this movie is going to be seen by maybe even more people.

GROFF: Yeah.

The power of the messaging in these movies is more important than I think a lot of people realize, and having that positive message… like your character is so different than what is normally written for the male love interest, if you will.

GROFF: Absolutely. I mean, that’s what I loved also about the first movie of Frozen is that the true love in the movie is between sisters as opposed to a woman looking for a man’s love, and even in the first movie, Kristoff, one of his lines in the beginning to Anna is, “You can’t marry a man you just met.” Whereas in all the old sort of Disney fairytales, it’s love at first sight, and one day my prince will come. So in the first movie, they sort of inverted those ideas, and made it more modern, and more contemporary, and more feminist. And they’ve done the same thing with this movie and with all of these characters, and particularly with Kristoff. Normally the girl is pining after the man, and the man leaves, and then she sings an emotional song, and this is the reverse, where Kristoff is struggling with how to communicate to the woman he loves. Then she goes off on an adventure without him, and he’s left alone to sing about his feelings. So very cleverly, the filmmakers have reversed that in this movie.

A hundred percent. I brought this up with a lot of other people. What will it take for you guys as a group to either do the Hollywood Bowl or go on tour where you play all the songs from the first Frozen and Frozen 2, as well as the cut songs that never made the movie?

GROFF: Yes, sign me up. Sign me up. I would do it in a second. All they would have to do is ask. I would do it in a second.

Okay, so you’re receptive to this?

GROFF: Absolutely.

Can you talk about some of the songs that you — because obviously Kristen and Bobby told me that the ratio on this one was that they only said they wrote seven songs that didn’t make the finished version, and on the first one they wrote like 2- something.

GROFF: For the first movie they wrote 20 songs?

But it makes sense though, because the first one they’re still figuring out the voices.

GROFF: The world of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

Yeah. So like you’re writing, and writing, and writing to find the voices and find the movie, and in the sequel, they know the voices and the characters, so it makes sense to have written less —

GROFF: Yeah, there’s only so many places it could possibly go. It’s not like anything could happen, because the characters have already established who they are.

Did you have a song or two that didn’t make the finished film that you were sad to see go?

GROFF: I recorded a song while we were shooting Mindhunter, and I was in Pittsburgh, and I drove to New York on the weekend to record this song called “I Want to Get This Right.” And it was when in the story Kristoff was going to try and propose to Anna at the very beginning. It was not an ’80s jam. It was almost like a Jackson 5 kind of, like, uptempo R&B song. It was really cute, and I loved it, and I loved singing it, and it was Kristoff’s song, and then it became sort of a Kristoff-Anna duet song. I recorded it in New York over a weekend, and really felt like, “Oh wow. This is a huge part of the story that he’s trying to propose and he’s singing to her and it’s this proposal, so I don’t think the song is going to get cut, because it’s really like a part of the narrative of the story.” Then a couple months later, I come into a recording session, this time it was in Pittsburgh, and they were like, “So we changed the story and we cut your song. But we’re gonna write you another song, and it’s going to be an ’80s jam where Kristoff really, like, lives in his feelings.” I thought, “Oh, that’s so nice of them to say that, but surely that’s the most absurd idea I’ve ever heard and that will never happen.” And then it did.

Right, exactly. It all works out, because that song is fantastic.

GROFF: Yeah. Right, right.

Mindhunter — I can’t believe I get to bring this back. It’s a really great performance you have to do, and how much do you sort of submerge into that reality when you’re filming? Are you able to sort of shut it off and turn on Frozen, if you will, on like a weekend or on a weeknight when you have to go record something? That has to be challenging.

GROFF: The thing that’s similar about, I can’t believe there is a similarity, but the thing that is similar about Mindhunter and Frozen is that with Mindhunter, you’re working for David Fincher, which is like the ultimate safety net. You just know that you can do anything, you can try anything, you can throw it all up against the wall, and he’s going to go in and put together something great. So there’s this safety net as a performer that allows you to take risks and do things because you know he’s got this. You know?

Sure.

GROFF: Then on the flip side with Frozen, I just trust Jen and Chris and Bobby and Kristen so implicitly. They cut the song. It was a great song that I recorded, and they cut it because it didn’t work for the movie. They are very ego-less about the work that they produce, and they’re all very committed to the best possible story they can tell, and so in the same way in going to work for Frozen, it’s like I just make myself available to them. I just try and be as creative as I possibly can with the stuff that they give me, and throw it all up against the wall and see what sticks, and let them put it together and make whatever they want to make.

One of the things I want to bring up is that you are, unlike a lot of your cohorts, not on social at all. Or am I wrong about this?

GROFF: No, you’re correct.

Have you not had any pressure from a publicist or an agent? “You know, if you want to do Instagram, it wouldn’t be that bad.”

GROFF: No, I haven’t. I really haven’t. My agents and my publicists, they all, thankfully, get me, and so they totally understand that it’s just not my jam.

Sure.

GROFF: I feel like in order for it to be great, and positive, and productive, you have to really want to invest in it, and I hate how much I look at my phone already with text messaging, and so I just didn’t want to add another element to that.

Do you ghost on some of the social formats?

GROFF: No, I really don’t.

Really?

GROFF: I know, isn’t that crazy?

Because a lot of people say, “Oh, I’m not on Instagram.” But then they’ll be like, “But I ghost on it. I have a private account that nobody —

GROFF: No, I really don’t. I really don’t. Isn’t that weird?

No, I actually think it’s very healthy.

GROFF: Okay. It’s sort of ignorant. In certain ways ignorance is bliss where I’m sort of unaware of opinions and things like that, because I’m just not on social media at all.

Look, I think it’s an unhealthy obsession when you see people constantly taking selfies in every possible place just to… It makes me crazy, but that’s just me.

GROFF: It’s weird. Ironically, in the theater at Little Shop when we were in tech, I was the one with my phone out videotaping and taking pictures of everything, because I was like, “This is so much fun and I want to capture it.” And everyone is saying, “Why are you taking pictures? You’re not even on social media.” And I’m like, “Oh no, this is just for me to look at later.” So I do take a lot of pictures. I just keep them to myself or I text them to my friends or whatever.

So I have to ask you. Do you think in your gut feeling — because I know they have not talked about a Frozen 3 — but in another five years that there could be another?

GROFF: I mean, after the first one, I couldn’t even have imagined a Frozen 2, to be honest. When they said they were making a second one, I was thrilled to go back to work, but there wasn’t a piece of me that could have comprehended how you further the story. And then Jen and Chris and Bobby and Kristen came up with, I think, it’s a true masterpiece, and there’s never been a [theatrical animated] musical sequel made ever to a Disney film. So they broke ground with that. I think I would do anything that they do. I’m just following their lead.

Sure.

GROFF: I have no gut feeling about whether or not there will be a third one. I would just do whatever they asked me to do.

On that note, congratulations.

GROFF: Thank you.

#jonathan groff #interview #frozen 2 #mindhunter

[itsdaniclayton]

i'm so happy to see someone talking about frozen and i'm even more happy to see someone appreciating the most precious baby Anna 🥰🥰🥰 i'm really curious about your personal ranking of the songs! did you like them? for me the most memorable ones were into the unknown, all is found, lost in the woods and show yourself. i also liked the sequel more than the first movie, and i really liked the first one so part two definetely didnt disappoint

I’m only talking about it now because it was released last week in my country and I literally just saw it four days ago. I LOVE ANNA have loved her since the first movie which is crazy since she was the only one I didn’t know the actor who voiced her back then and I only really got into the movie in the first place because of the voice actors.

I loved the songs!!! except maybe Olaf’s? but it might be because I don’t really like Olaf so I just skip it when I listen to the songs but I don’t really mind it in the movie.

The absolute best song is Lost in the Woods because the scene is the best scene in cinematic history AND it’s Jonathan Groff singing??????? Like he’s the actual love of my life.

And then I don’t really know how I would rank the others because I really loved them all. All I really have to say, which I have already said like five times, is that Kristen Bell’s singing is maybe one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard????? When I was in the movie theater and Some Things Never Change started I was like OH MY GOD and then during The Next Right Thing I transcended this plane of existence. I remember when the soundtrack for the first movie came out and I listened to it before watching it I looked her up because like I said she was the only one I didn’t know and her voice is so fucking beautiful, and THAT’S when I fell in love with her LMAO. 

And then Elsa’s songs are amazing too but of course they were gonna be, they had Idina Menzel, and they were gonna make the best of her. They were probably like “hey ma’am we’re gonna make you belt This and later laugh at all the people attempting to sound at least decent AND at all the parents who are suffering because their children are attempting it too”.

#i answer #frozen 2

[backintime]

My Ranking of the New LSOH Soundtrack:

1. Prologue/Little Shop of Horrors: 10/10!  In every version (1982, ‘86, 2003 and 2019), this song sounds awesome, and it does so here too!  The Urchins are really fun.

2. Skid Row: Probably 6/10.  Like I mentioned earlier, Seymour doesn’t sound quite so downtrodden as I’m used to, but it sounds really good, just not quite right for the character.  Ditto for Audrey.  On further listenings, it could definitely grow on me, as Jonathan Groff and Tammy Blanchard’s voices did grow on me as the soundtrack progressed.  My favorite version is still the 1986 movie version, though.

3.  Da-Doo: 5/10.  It doesn’t help that this song is on the ‘skippable’ side to me, but again, Seymour still sounds a little off to me.  Favorite version is probably ‘86, though it sounds good in every version.

4. Grow for Me: 7/10!  I do really like this one, and the vocal work is good.  Jonathan Groff’s voice sounds super energized (it does the whole soundtrack) and it really sounds good, even if it doesn’t quite sound like Seymour to me yet.  Favorite version is probably still ‘86 again, with 2003 a close second.

5. Ya Never Know: 8/10.  This is such a fun one, and I love this Mushnik!  Again, this whole soundtrack sounds like there’s so much energy behind it.  The Urchins sound very knowing of events coming, making their section sound almost creepier than normal.  Again, vocals are incredible.  Favorite version is probably 2003 or this one!

6. Somewhere That’s Green: 7/10.  Nobody can top Ellen Greene, and Tammy Blanchard’s voice was just a bit different even than Tari Kelly.  This song is really hard to mess up unless it’s being overdone, and it’s not overdone here.  The final section especially really makes you feel it.  Favorite version is either the ‘82 or ‘86 version, again, there’s no topping Ellen Greene.

7. Closed for Renovations: 5/10.  It’s fun, but closer to the skippable side to me.  Again, I love Mushnik, and it doesn’t help that the song is just okay to me, but it’s decent.  Favorite version is 2003.

8. Dentist: 10/10.  My gosh, this is the best version I’ve heard besides the ‘86 movie.  There’s no topping Steve Martin, but Christian Borle is close, bringing a very similar manic energy that really makes the song pop.  This one is really easy to overdo or underdo, and I feel that this one hits it right on the mark.  Favorite is ‘86, with this as a close second.

9. Mushnik and Son: 10/10.  Again, I love this Mushnik.  This and Dentist have such high energy that it’s hysterical.  This song is hilarious in any version, but this one is officially my favorite.  The suddenly shouting, the breath-holding, the fact that this whole thing sounds like an insane threat, this is so funny.  Jonathan Groff sounds a little closer to Seymour to me here.  Absolutely the best.

10. Sudden Changes: 5/10.  I never considered this its own song before, just the prologue to Feed Me (which is one of my absolute favorites), but it’s done well.  Again, still not quite feeling Seymour’s character, but the voice for the plant is a lot of fun.  Favorite version is ‘86, just because of Rick Moranis’s delivery of ‘Twoey, that’s disgusting!’

11. Feed Me: 9/10!  Again, I adore this song.  The voice for Audrey Two is awesome, and towards the end here, Jonathan Groff really starts to sound closer to Seymour.  Actually, the further Seymour goes into ‘villainy’ the better he sounds.  But Kingsley Leggs steals the show here, again, the high energy really makes this song pop with a distinct sound.  Favorite is tied between this one and 86, with 2003 close behind.

12. Now (It’s Just the Gas) 6/10.  Like I said, the further Seymour goes down the path of darkness, the better he sounds in this version.  The high energy comes out in a different way, where the Dentist sounds far creepier in the beginning, and sounds totally unhinged as the song progresses, laughing the whole way.  Not as good as Dentist, (but what is?) but still good.  Favorite version is either ‘82 or 2003.

13. Act 1 Finale: 4/10?  Seymour’s screaming.  I get it’s creepy, but I liked it better when you just hear the plant’s laughter.  Point goes to 2003.

14. Call Back in the Morning: 5/10.  Another ‘skippable’ for me, but it’s still high energy and fun.  Audrey’s voice starts to sound more natural to me here.  Favorite is 2003 or this one.

15: Suddenly Seymour: 10/10.  My favorite duet ever.  Both singers really come into their characters here and again, they sound really good!  Tammy Blanchard runs off with the show here to me, which is saying something, since usually my favorite part of this song is Seymour.  Favorite is all of them at once, literally all of them.  (Probably ‘86 and this one if I was made to pick.)

16: Suppertime: 7/10.  Mushnik’s screaming at the end was a little....odd?  But I love Kingsley Leggs’s performance as the plant, very evil.  Props to Jonathan Groff (who by now sounds awesome as Seymour goes dark).  The way he says: “Just....knock” makes it so clear that this is an active choice and it’s bonechilling.  Favorite is 2003 tied with this one.

17. The Meek Shall Inherit: 5/10. The Urchins sound like A Lot here, and they and the other characters are really over the top (in my opinion).  Again, the darker Seymour goes, the better Jonathan Groff sounds, and his cries of ‘No!’ are absolutely incredible.  Loved it!  Favorite is ‘86, probably tied with ‘82, with 2003 and this one tied for next.

18. Sominex/Suppertime Part II 4/10: Tammy Blanchard doesn’t quite sound weirded out enough or frightened enough to me, but that could be the effects of the sominex.  Who knows?  Her delivery of “Yes!  No.” was more funny than heartbreaking.  Favorite version of this is ‘86 because it’s soul crushing.

19: Somewhere That’s Green Reprise 6/10.  Jonathan Groff nails the raw emotion in the dialogue, but I just don’t quite get it out of Tammy Blanchard here?  At least not yet.  I hope she grows on me with later re-listens.  The song itself is sweet and good though.  Favorite version is still ‘86 and 2003, again, soul crushing.

20: Da-Do Reprise: 10/10!  Holy smokes, again, Jonathan Groff’s raw, enraged delivery is amazing, his cry of “You ate the only thing I ever loved!” took me aback in the best way!  Audrey II sounds appropriately smug and unbothered as Seymour breaks down entirely, rendering the whole thing bonechilling.  This might be my favorite version of this, with 2003 behind it.  (Though I adore Mean Green Mother From Outerspace, that’s the replacement for this song, rather than the song itself.)

21: Don’t Feed the Plants: Another 10/10!  The Urchins sound creepy and all knowing. the rest of the cast nails it as well, coming across as both warning and genuinely fun.  This one and 2003 are probably my favorite!

I encourage anyone who likes the show (or the film) to check out the soundtracks for themselves (and let me know what you think, I’m curious!) and to check out @suddenlysomewherethatsgreen‘s thoughts on Tammy Blanchard as Audrey!  Merry Christmas!

#Little Shop of Horrors #I speak

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 7

7: Journey

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Brad Falchuk

Overall Thoughts: I think that this may be my favourite Glee season finale ever, aside from Dreams Come True. It wraps basically every storyline up, while still reminding you that it’s not over. It’s emotional, and it’s tear-jerking, and honestly just amazing. Plus, I’ve watched that Journey medley about a thousand times and I never get tired of it.

What I Like:

Everyone crying at Mr. Schuester’s house – I know it’s sad, but it shows how much they’ve all come to love glee club and each other. It’s really sweet.

That scene where Don’t Stop Believing starts playing in Will’s car and he pulls over and bawls. Because honestly? Same.

Finn telling Rachel that she’s the leader of the club and that she needs to pull it together and lead. It’s nice to hear Finn telling somebody else to be the leader for once instead of assuming it should be him, and encouraging that person to do so.

This isn’t something I particularly liked, but when Puck said “do you think either of us is going to care about Finn in three years?” and then followed it really soon after with “at the end of your life you don’t get a medal for being good or bad, you just get dead” I cried like a fucking baby.

Will having one of his few good teaching moments and encouraging the kids, both before regionals and during, when he tells them he failed them if all they care about is winning.

Rachel not being able to reach the speaker to turn it off.

That whole Journey performance. I can’t even complain that Finn and Rachel sing the whole damn thing because it’s just so emotional and beautiful.

Quinn wanting Mercedes in the delivery room with her <3

The Bohemian Rhapsody sequence.

That scene with Rachel and Shelby at the end. I think what I really like about it is how Shelby makes it clear that she doesn’t just feel this deep desire for motherhood, that’s just part of what she wants. “I want a life.” I really love that line. She couldn’t make her dreams of being a performer come true, so she focused all her energies on trying to make other people’s dreams come true, and now she’s just left with nothing. While I know I’ve complained about the whole Shelby-as-nothing-but-a-mother storyline before, I really do appreciate that this was the first step in her really finding herself again. She gets closure with Rachel, and she gets to start a new life with Beth. Part of me really wishes they’d just finished her storyline there, honestly. Because it was so, so perfect.

Emma fighting with Figgins. She has so much fire and so much passion, it’s really a shame that they so rarely let her show it.

The scene with Will and Sue. Normally their scenes together exhaust me, but this one was sweet, sentimental, and encouraging, while still managing to keep their banter going. There’s only two other Will and Sue scenes that make me as emotional as this one: the one at the end of City of Angels, and the one at the end of New Directions.

The end scene of this episode. It’s so happy and full of hope and promise. It’s Glee.

What I Don’t Like:

I really wish they’d never shown us how Puck getting Quinn pregnant went down because that scene is icky as fuck. When she says she wants to stop, he encourages her to have another wine cooler (I know it’s supposed to be a joke because those barely have any alcohol in them, but I mean… still). He basically turns all her own words against her, and has to actually convince her to have sex with him. It’s really manipulative and leaves a very, very sour taste in my mouth.

When they show Quinn after that scene and she turns around to reveal her baby bump. It just feels unnecessary, you know? We know she’s pregnant. We’ve known since episode four. It’s not some huge twist.

Will forcing that kiss on Emma. She’s dating someone else, and she made it very clear that you guys are done. Stop it.

Songs:

Faithfully: Probably my favourite Finchel duet. I really like this one. They sound awesome singing it, and the song in and of itself is great.

Anyway You Want It/Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’: One of my all-time favourite Glee mash-up’s! They blend so well together that often I can’t even remember which parts are of which song. The choreography is one of their best, and they really do show that heart they keep talking about.

Don’t Stop Believing (2.0): Mostly a re-run of the original version, with a couple of extra soloists thrown in for fun. I still love it, though. The perfect finale to an amazing performance.

Bohemian Rhapsody: Normally when Glee decides to shove the entirety of a song into an episode I hate it. I mean, just look at my review of” Light’s Out”. But this one really works, and I think that’s partially because of Jonathan Groff, partially because they intercut it absolutely perfectly with Quinn giving birth, and partially because it’s so fucking extra. It’s one of the most “Glee” things that Glee ever did, and I love every goddamn second of it.

To Sir, with Love: I don’t like Will Schuester, but I still get emotional as fuck listening to these kids literally sing him praises. Why? WHY?!?! It’s the magic of Glee. Seriously, I love this song though. So raw. Just… perfect.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow: This is the perfect song to end on. Over the years I’ve thought that maybe they should have saved this song for the actual finale, and had it be the last song of the series, but I’m glad that it came here, because it has the hope of more. It’s the end, but just for now. And seeing all the kids holding hands and leaning on each other (I noticed for the first time how Brittany and Santana are sitting exactly the same as Finn and Rachel in that final shot of all the kids. Foreshadowing, anyone?), and just being friends. It’s gorgeous.

Final Thoughts: I’ve watched this episode time and time again, and it always makes me bawl like a little baby. It’s one of he few episodes where the good far outweighs the bad (normally it’s pretty equal), and I like to think it’s one of the best episodes Glee ever did. I honestly feel like watching it again right now, and I just watched it! Seriously, I cannot emphasize enough how much I love this episode.

#ultimate glee ranking

[suddenlysomewherethatsgreen]

I'm gonna go song/character/plot! Broaden it out so its a little easier for you!

I’m still having a tough time connecting those two. They are about as different as musicals can get. But also because I haven’t unwrapped Spring Awakening and evaluated every character and dissected every line like I have for Little Shop. So if I get something wrong about a character I acknowledge that now.

First similarity: Jonathan Groff. Gonna get that obvious one out of the way.

Though Seymour and Melchior seem to a complete contrast of each other. It’s like that one John Mulaney meme where he goes “Do not fuck with me” that’s Melchior and the “hey you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you” that’s Seymour.

Second similarity: Both female protagonists did NOT deserve to die.

Though, same thing, Audrey and Wendla seem to be complete contrast. The character of Wendla is that she’s lived completely sheltered while the character of Audrey is that she has been and feels tossed around and used. Wendla has never been beaten to the point where she frustratingly asks Melchior to beat her so she can feel what it’s like. And Audrey has a black eye in literally the first scene.

Though neither of them deserved what they got. They were victims of the acts and errors of others. And even before that they did not mean to fall in such a tangled web. Neither girl knew what they were getting into, and thought they were just living while around them their world was crumbling and they didn’t know it until too late.

Third similarity: their deaths absolutely destroyed their partners.

Both Seymour and Melchior were determined to live a changed life after their experience. And they both wanted to take their loves with them. They both wanted to raise a family and start a life and live happily ever after.

“I’ll take you to that little development you always dreamed about. And once we are there it’ll be happily ever after, I promise.”

“They wont get to me, or Wendla. I wont let them. We will build that world together for our child.”

But they both didn’t get the chance.

Fourth similarity: adults and guardians suck.

Literally drives the plot of Spring Awakening. There are several characters in that I’d like to feed to the plant right after it’s done digesting Mr. Mushnik.

I usually attach gifs to answers but I hope you forgive me that I didn’t now. These were all really depressing answers and I didn’t want to attach gifs that break my heart to make. Thank you

[frecklystars]

The origin stories are cool. Don't worry, I suck with beginnings, too. Anyway I just want you to see something- just search the phrase: [*throws confetti at you* be quiet] and look at the first thing under Images. I promise you'll like it. (And if your husband* is America's Least Wanted... does that make you a Queen???) *Disclaimer: I know you probably weren't serious, but questions are questions. Might hit you with another if I think of one. -- FC Anon

OH THAT’S REALLY CUTE?!?!!? Thank you for showing me that bc now I HAVE TO DOODLE IT…

OOOOO that’s a good question!! I’d love to be his queen!!! He refers to me as “princess” in all of my self insert fics, I don’t think I’ve had him refer to me as “queen” just yet, since we haven’t officially “married”- I know a lot of people in the self insert community actually do set dates to “marry” their F/Os and host weddings with drawings, writing, etc and some people even wear rings, which is super cute!!! And they even have anniversaries!! I completely forget the exact time/day when I started hyperfocusing on KGIII or SBTM so I’m not… sure when those anniversaries would be :0c but I’ll try to think of some good dates!! I know KGIII was around either 2015 or 2016, and I watched the first Chicago SBTM boot around late 2017 I believe, like around December?? And the Broadway boot came out in 2018 and I watched it… maybe around March or April…

I don’t think I’ve ever had thoughts of marrying any of my F/Os EXCEPT George. George is the only person I’ve thought of a wedding for, and it was gonna be like… this whole story arc where he’s forced into an arranged marriage by his advisors/royal council or something,, but he’s in love with a commoner from another century……….. gasp, scandalous………. and then later I’m just like “oh dude. you have free reign here. this is an alternate dimension!! you’re a character based off of jonathan groff’s portrayal of the real version of a person from my world, go absolutely NUTS my dude” and he’s like (after an existential crisis, probably) “WOW OKAY THEN MARRY ME” but I haven’t quite gotten to that story yet, because all of my self insert stories are REAL LONG SLOWBURNS and George is probably the longest,,, it’s just mutual pining for SO long, maybe almost a year before he finally confesses…?? 

OH. And Plankton. Especially Chicago’s Production Plankton the sb musical…!!! I’ve had thoughts lingering in the back of my mind of the both of us wearing wedding rings.I dunno why him specifically?? Maybe bc he’s the original Plankton of my heart. But. I would also love to draw myself married to Broadway Production’s Plankton too! I haven’t imagined a wedding or a proposal or anything quite yet, but… ahh…. the thought of him wearing a wedding ring is REALLY CUTE and I’d like to be the one he’s married to~~ 

I don’t think I’m quite ready to like… “marry” my F/Os yet, like when the rest of the community actually has planned dates/anniversaries set. I’d love to someday! I just don’t have the time or energy now to really think about it or commit to it. But every now and then I might doodle some stuff!! C:

#FC anon #anonymous #asks #kgiii #thank you for asking!! omg and the confetti thing was so cute #thank you for showing me!!!!!! #youre such a joy!!!! #i really wanna doodle me and plankton hugging each other #and there's subtle wedding rings on our fingers... wouldn't it be cuuute!!! #i also wanna draw kgiii proposing to me in a garden in the nighttime!! #im having all these feelings for him again and it's been a YEAR #and these questions are resurfacing my unconditional love for him!! thank you flower crown anon i am BLESSED #also i made his hands too small #how the heck do people draw hands... without... losing their minds #hands are my worst enemy next to feet #and. legs. and torsos. and shoulders. and faces #you know what?? drawing is my worst enemy #ive also never drawn kgiii with his ring on his pinky finger before #bc i keep forgetting he Has That!!!!! #it was kinda difficult #i almost drew it on the wrong hand but then i erased it #but it looked better on the other hand bc it was hidden from view LMAO #i like drawing hearts all over him. heart painted nails. heart cloak. heart cape. heart eyes #heart crown!! hearts everywhere #because i just love him so much he is PEPPERED with hearts bc he is my Number One!!! #and on the topic of wedding rings. i think nick (chicago) plankton actually wore his ring #in a photoshoot and i thought 'oh that's attractive' i dunno why. but. i love seeing fanart of him wearing his wedding ring #and i wanna draw him with a ring sometime but i gotta draw me there too bc Reasons

[mdwatchestv]

Everything I’m Going to Watch in August: LIFE IS CHAOS

My life is in shambles and I have not finished literally ANYTHING from July. I have seen exactly four Stranger Things and four Veronica Mars - I am not ready to discuss! I started taking a writing class so I can, you know, actually be better at this and give you people the QUALITY PROSE you DESERVE. But now I’m so busy I barely have time to watch anything. In attempting to bestow one gift upon you, I am inadvertently robbing you of another. Such is life.  Veronica Mars is so far so good, I’m sure nothing too bad will happen and Stranger Things has been predictably numbingly enjoyable. Several people I trust have given good reviews to The Boys, and Antoni’s Instagram thirst traps are as far as I’ve gotten into the new Queer Eye season. But none of that matters now because there is MORE NEWER stuff to watch in August!!!!!!! Now excuse me while I scream into my panic pillow.

In the interest of time I am going to highlight in depth the THREE SHOWS I am actually going to make a concentrated effort to watch, followed by a rapid fire list of shows YOU may want to watch. Here we go- 

Friday, August 9th -

GLOW Season 3 (Netflix)

The second season of GLOW found a way to improve even further upon their first season. Season 2 had deeply moving episodes that investigated female friendship, race and social class, and even found a poignant twist on the now-popular #metoo storyline. It also had an anti-kidnapping PSA singalong in a glorious full-length episode of the show-within-the-show. I love GLOW, it brings me joy, glitter goals, and actresses doing special skills ( I LOVE when actors have to do special skills). With the ladies moving to a floor show in fabulous Las Vegas, I can’t imagine this season being anything less than a..... total knock out.  (See, this is why I need the writing class!!)

Monday, August 12th 

The Terror: Infamy (9pm on AMC)

The second season of AMC’s horror anthology series- like the first season The Terror: Infamy merges the supernatural with real-life historical horrors, but that is where the similarities end. Season 2 follows a Japanese-American family who face internment during WW2 in the US. As if being shockingly betrayed by the country where they have made their home isn’t enough, the family is also being actively haunted by a vengeful, murderous ghost. When it rains it pours I guess. But in all seriousness, what I am most excited about in this show is the cast which is made up almost entirely of actors of Japanese descent (from literally all over the world.) Casting anyone non-white in a period piece is rare enough, but to be able to refocus the lens of history onto stories of the past that are often overlooked by media feels especially exciting. It’s important to tell these stories so we can make sure atrocities like this never happen in America ever ever again......oh wait.

Friday, August 16th

Mindhunter Season 2 (Netflix)

Five thousand years later Mindhunter season 2 is finally ready for consumption. David Fincher does hundreds of takes okay, it takes him a while to make a show. That was probably the 60th take of that shot in the gif, but look at it, its perfect! This whole show is perfect!  Cameron Britton! Serial killers! JONATHAN GROFF! The 70s! Son of Sam! Conflicts of masculinity! Cars! Anna Torv! Behavioral sciences! Sepia colors! TENSION! 

As promised a lot of other stuff premieres this month that I would be remiss not to remind you about. So in the spirit of giving,  here is a quick rundown of things I have absolutely zero intention of watching but maybe you will want to for various reasons:

Dear White People S3 (Netflix) - I’m just too behind, but maybe you are better at keeping up on your Netflix queue than me. 

Preacher S4 (AMC) - I consciously uncoupled from this show which I would describe as a medium -to- moderate mess. It’s the final season though, and maybe ya’ll like mess.

BH90210 (Fox)  - Maybe Beverly Hills 90210 was very important to you at one time.

Succession  S2 (HBO) - I don’t understand what the tone is. 

Lodge 49 S2 (AMC)  -I don’t understand what the tone is.

The Affair (Showtime) - I assume some people are still watching this? 

On Becoming A God in Central Florida (Showtime) - Kirsten Dunst and Alexander Skarsgard make themselves ugly. Maybe you’re into that!

Carnival Row (Amazon Prime) -  I could not endorse a show whose main characters are named “Rycroft Philostrate” and “Vignette Stonemoss”. I simply must draw a line somewhere. But I am duty bound to tell you that Orlando Bloom is appearing on television in a waistcoat. 

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (Netflix) - Maybe The Dark Crystal was very important to you at one time.

Alright I gotta go watch TV or make TV or something, DEUCES 

XO MD

#other tv #martha writes #Everything I'm watching #august 2019 #august #tv writing #tv schedule #tv gifs #mindhunter #glow #the terror: infamy #tv blog

[smokeybrand]

Chasing Rabbits

This essay started out as a rather mediocre review of The Matrix Resurrections but it began to evolve into something wholly different; I started and stopped this essay at least six times in the last day and change, trying to coalesce my thoughts of the fourth, and absolutely unnecessary, Matrix film. It’s surreal to say that, as a film, it’s serviceable. Probably the second best of the quadrilogy but, at the same time, not good. Resurrections feels corporate, it feels forced. For a film to focus so heavily on love, there is really none to be had while viewing it. This is the Matrix version of The Force Awakens. Like all of these types of films, i understand why they were made. There are generations who don’t know the source material, whole ass adults who were born after the first Matrix revolutionized cinema. Bullet Time, the style of camera set-up which gave us those dope ass slow motion, panoramic, shots, is not actually from The Matrix. It was pioneered by a f*cking Gap commercial for khakis. Not a lot of people know that because the way the Wachowski used that sh*t was sublime. It’s wild to think that there was literal commentary on “finding a new bullet time” in this, the fourth Matrix film, as a plot point.

I mention this because, as mundane as bullet time has become (cats can do that sh*t with Tik Tok filters now), that’s how pedestrian Resurrections feels. There’s a lot of rehash, a lot of splicing between the older, better, version of this narrative which does the current one, a massive disservice. The first Matrix was revolutionary. It asked poignant questions and entertained with sh*t we had never seen before. We’ve seen bullet time, three more times since then in this franchise, alone, not to mention literally very goddamn parody of it over the last, what? twenty years or so? Max Payne guilt an entire gaming franchise on the gimmick and he hasn’t had a new game released in a decade, that’s how inundated we are with this film trope. The meta nature of Resurrections commentary on the cultural, and corporate, impact that first trilogy has is an interesting thread to unravel but the execution was very poor. It just felt like Lana was b*tching about having to make a fourth film when the story was finished and those characters ran their course. And she was right. Resurrections is an absolutely unnecessary film.

Now, i can’t sit here and pretend i didn’t like a lot of this film. I absolutely did. It was dope seeing Neo almost do “Neo” things but, at the same time, jarring to see Trinity doing “Neo” things. Like, why? How? I get Neo wouldn’t be at his peak after being in the box for so long but how the f*ck did Trinity develop the same powers as “The One”? Also, how the f*ck are they even alive? No answers to be had whatsoever. I liked the new tech on display with the nanite program sh*t. I thought that was cool. I also like the new “Morpheus”. It’s not Morpheus, per say, just a weird latent memory of him given digital form. I like the new Smith, to an extent, but my gripe with him is the same as with Morpheus; They don’t hold a candle to the originals. Hugo Weaving and Laurence Fishburne leave big shoes to fill and, while i like Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Jonathan Groff in their respective roles, they never try to imitate the originators, they just don’t have the same level of charisma Weaving and Fishburne did, way back when. Actually, i think that sums up the entirety of my experience with this movie; There’s no charisma, no heart.

A perfect example of this, and maybe a better parable for the awkward duality of good and bad with this film, is Bugs. Jessica Henwick is one of my favorite actors working today. I loved her Coleen Wing and have wanted her to get a shot at the big time. Her Bugs in this movie has a lot to do. She’s kind of the POV character to the post-Machine War world, guiding the audience through what has turned out to be sixty f*cking years of evolution. Just like that skeleton of a narrative, Bugs feels almost as superfluous. With everything that she has done, with her direct necessity to the narrative for reasons explained and others not so much, she could have been anyone. Literally anyone. Some of whom would have made more thematic sense, like Mouse or one of his descendants. Morpheus’s kid or grand kid. Any plethora of characters would have fit the bill much better and we got Bugs. That’s how this movie feels. There are any number of stores that could have been told and we got this one. It’s f*cking wild.

The Matrix was never a great film series. The first movie was exceptional. It wasn’t winning any Oscars and got a little too heady for it’s own good, but it was a great experience that triggered a culture revolution. It asked big questions and trusted the audience to come up with their own answers. Every film after that, has been trying to feed you those answers in stark contrast to the strength of that first film. Every sequel to The Matrix, has tarnished what The Matrix was supposed to be, and we’re on the fourth dilution. There is nothing that The Matrix Resurrections does on it’s own, that hasn’t been done better in the previous four films. Not even the action is good. We live n a post-John Wick era and the action in this thing is so Nineties, it hurts. The big ass questions asked in this film are just petty gripes and frustrations the creators have with the corporate aspects of their process, not the heady, existential, dread which permeated that first trilogy. The Matrix Resurrections is a victim of The Matrix franchise’s success. They’ve done everything they can with this narrative. There’s no where to go. There’s no where new to follow that white rabbit and this movie feels like it knows that better than the audience watching it.

[canaryatlaw]

today was fine, I’m just kind of in a mood at the moment. Just feeling discontented with life and questioning the choices I’ve made, like not pursuing acting and going to law school, maybe it wasn’t because I needed to be a lawyer, maybe I just never believed in myself enough to believe I could ever actually make anything of myself acting....or maybe I actually just suck and that would be a terrible decision because I do not have what it takes and I should take the empirical evidence in that I’ve been passed over for so many roles so many times to know that I’M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. It just wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to start law school and be completely content, and never looked back. but I’m not. I miss acting. I want to act. But I don’t want the “other life” option I had when I was deciding whether I wanted to go to law school or not- staying on with my theatre company who was full of really great people that I loved working with, but we could only perform a few months out of the year, and then I was stuck behind a desk for the rest of the year....so I traded it for an existence where I’ll always be sitting behind a desk?? Yes I’ll be helping people (that is, if I can get a damn job) but I could’ve been helping people with theatre. But that’s not the existence I’m yearning for. I want this reality that is never going to happen because I’M NOT FUCKING TALENTED ENOUGH TO GET FAMOUS THROUGH ACTING. I’M JUST NOT. I tell myself this is me being realistic, but maybe it’s just a lack of self-confidence. I don’t know. I just find myself constantly daydreaming about an existence I’ll never have, one that exists on tv sets and shooting with awesome casts, and going to comic cons on panels and getting to talk to fans and inspire them, and meet these amazing people....but I’m not skinny, I’m not pretty (enough), and I’m not talented enough. Of course all of these thoughts have been facilitated by the fact that I convinced myself to send in this audition tape that I’m still not gonna talk about details on because it’s not like anything is gonna happen anyway, and I spent all day learning the lines to shoot the tape tomorrow, and I keep daydreaming about getting the part, the contingencies I’d put in place to try and finish the semester and then pause my law school education to return and finish my last semester at some point in the future, and giving interviews about how I absolutely plan on returning to law school, because I could never be complete with law and acting in my life, and I could always do law and act on the side, but I couldn’t prioritize acting and do law on the side. not really. I’ve run through the scenarios and it’s just not realistic. But still....I want it. And I know I’m setting myself up to get disappointed every time I think about it like this and delude myself into thinking I have a shot when they’re going to end up casting a drop dead gorgeous skinny blonde 16 year old for the part and I am none of those things, but still I let myself hope, I listen to myself doing the lines, and goddammit I feel like I’m on to something here. for the first time in a long, long time I feel like I actually sound good in my acting. like I’ve somehow leveled up. it’s been a mental thing I’ve been contemplating for a while now, and this has just been my first opportunity to implement it as a strategy, and really I think it’s going well. But even so, the chances my video, one out of thousands being sent in, will even make it past an initial viewing is very unlikely. Even if my acting is leveled up, I probably still won’t be good enough. I know this. But why am I allowing myself to hope then? Because I’m dissatisfied with the law school life I’ve built here? Because this life isn’t everything I dreamed it would be? Because that’s just life? Or because I’m still fucking depressed and have been in denial about it since August? I just.....I don’t know. I don’t know the answers to any of this. and even in the infinitesimally small chance this turns into something, my family would absolutely flip a shit on me for the content (it’s not like, sex scenes or anything gross like that, it’s just very specific content that they have a major hang up with) and I honestly don’t know how they would react, if they’d even help support me in doing this.....which, I mean, if they don’t, I have $14,000 to my name, how far could I realistically get on that? And how fucking stupid would it be for me to move to Hollywood and start waiting tables trying to get cast in something when I have a fucking law degree? When I spent all that time, all that blood sweat and tears, not to mention all that MONEY, and then to just decide I don’t want to do law anymore? But that’s not even true, because I DO want to do law still. I’m just conflicted about how to do it and frustrated with job prospects and my family REALLY wants me to come home and I feel so guilty about it which makes me want to do it, but I also don’t know how I would react to that and I have a very hard time seeing myself be truly happy in that situation. I’ve never wanted to move back there. I’ve been wanting to get out for as long as I can remember, and I did, I flew out  the door at 18 and never looked back...until now, 7 whole years later, and I miss my parents, and my sister, and it pains me so much to know she’s going through exactly the same thing I was when I was her age and I can’t physically be there to make sure nothing happens to her. If something did and I wasn’t there, never forgiving myself would be a mild reaction, to be completely honest if she killed herself I’d probably kill myself too, because I don’t think I can live in a world without her in it. That’s what I tell myself, at least, but then I think about my parents, and how that would completely destroy them. One daughter would be horrific enough, but two? I don’t think I could do that to them, no matter how much pain I would be in. So I would stay in this world and be in unbearable pain, and probably blaming myself for everything because I just KNOW that if I was there I could’ve stopped it. She’s my baby girl. I love her more than anything else in this world. I can’t lose her. So I want to be there for her. It’s just that...moving back there sounds so suffocating. I’ve been very clear with my parents that under no circumstances am I moving back into the house, even if I move back there, but at the same time like, I don’t have any money?? Long Island is expensive as hell, even if I had a job probably half my income would go to paying rent, and how am I supposed to survive on a government or nonprofit salary when that’s the case? And I don’t want to rely on my parents forever, I already feel guilty that I’m 25 fucking years old and still reliant on them, because I can’t make any fucking money while in law school so my parents pay for everything! And I just want to be independent, finally. And then I start worrying if something happens to my dad and suddenly there’s no more income, then what the fuck am I supposed to do? sigh. I'm working myself into an anxiety spiral and I need to stop now. But if anyone just read all that and has any insight your input would be appreciated. 

So. Anyway. I had trouble falling asleep last night, but woke up at like 8 am anyone and couldn’t fall back asleep, and not for lack of trying. So I got up, and made a blueberry dutch baby, (I had turned my alarm off at some point past 2 am because there was no way I was making it to the church thing) and watched last night’s episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I don’t have much feedback other than I love this damn show and I hope they actually pursue the plot line of them suing Josh because I am so fucking here for that. Then I started and finished my poverty law reading, which wasn’t terribly long, just rather dry. Since I have an abbreviated school week (as I’m going to NY on Wednesday) I’m just gonna read for the actual classes I have to attend and I’ll figure the rest out later. After that I decided it was hair dyeing time, since I wanted it to look nice and bright for the audition tape tomorrow, and for my sister’s sweet 16 last week. So I did that, and while it was processing I ran through lines, then rinsed it out and listened to this program for this fellowship thing I’m doing that I’ll tell you about at some other time that took about an hour and forty minutes. Continued to memorize lines, my memorization skills have definitely improved over the last few years, I blame having to memorize huge chunks of text in small amounts of time for any and all things mock trial and trial advocacy. So I got pretty much all of it down, then I turned on Batman TAS for a few episodes, then went to Netflix and started Mindhunter, because everyone on the true crime podcast Facebook groups I follow haven’t shut up about it and at least one of them are reviewing it next week, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I also had the yankees game on live stream but muted in one of the tabs in my browser, so monitoring that as well. I got through the first 4 episodes of Mindhunter and it’s really good so far! Super interesting period piece, and Jonathan Groff is fucking amazing of course. Very intriguing plot, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all comes together. I paused it for the last inning of the yankees game just to see them lose, and I’m just like really, universe? I couldn’t have the Cubs or the Yankees in the world series? they both had to lose?? not cool man, not cool. and yeah, after that I finished the Mindhunter episode I was watching and then got ready for bed, and got into a mood which caused me to write all of the above because I’m feeling anxious about this whole thing I guess. I just don’t feel particularly happy with life right now. It’s nowhere near as bad as the horrible depression I was experiencing over the summer when I was off one of my meds, but it’s just a general lack of happiness. I know there’s a technical term for it, but I don’t remember it at the moment. But anyway. I have to have to have to get up and go to church tomorrow since it’s our first Sunday in the new building and with only two services, so I really need to be there. I’m excited for that, though. It should be really good. As for now, I need to get some sleep, so I’m signing off. Sorry about the crazy rant above, I guess I just needed to get a lot of emotions out and hey, if tumblr’s good for anything, it’s good for that. Anyway. Goodnight sweeties. Have an awesome Sunday.

#daily journal #October 2017