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#is the thing about why I left those 3 chapter fics up
queenofapeacefuldawn · 2 months
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SxF Crack Theory: The Identity Of [REDACTED]'s Father
Hear me out here.... but, maybe, Twilight's father could be Yuri's boss, aka, the SSS Lieutenant.
Now, this might be a crack/joke theory, but here is the evidence I have to back up my claim (yes, I'm presenting it because I'm just Like That):
(Warning: Manga spoilers ahead)
Exhibit A: Physical Characteristics
Here is a picture of Agent Twilight:
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Here is a picture of Yuri's boss (who, from now in, will be referred to as YB, for my own convenience):
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We can see that Twilight and YB have very similar facial characteristics: bluish-grey eyes, blond hair, and a similar face shape (nose, jaw).
We never see Twilight's father's full face: only the lower half, because he has presumably forgotten his face, along with his mother's (King of Emotional Repression™️), but we can see that his jawline and shape of his mouth are very similar to Adult Twilight.
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Oh, and look at that- rather pronounced cheekbones, if I do say so myself. Where else did I see those? Hmmm
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Exhibit B: Ambiguous Fate
During the War Arc, we're never told about [REDACTED]'s father's fate. We just know he never returns to his family: and the reason why he left for the very last time, was that, "Things have been heating up at the border. I need to take a little business trip." The fact that his, a (presumably) rather important man's, body was never recovered: nor were [REDACTED] or his mother informed of his death. Of course, his body could have been lost in the bombings, or the part of [REDACTED] finding out about his father's dead could have been omitted, but for most of the part, we're left to assume about his father's dead. And... this sounds familiar to another instance...
Like the instance of [REDACTED]'s friends. He (and we) assumed they'd died in the warehouse as children, but later we see that they're alive and in the army (only to die a second time, RIP), but this time, for their deaths to be confirmed: for [REDACTED] to only receive their dog tags after the failed campaign.
This may have been a setup: for Endo to reintroduce [REDACTED]'s father, later in the story, as YB.
Anyway, one thing I've learned after reading and watching so many books, comics, and TV shows: never assume a person's dead, not unless their body/proof of their death has been explicitly shown. This belief was only reinforced after [REDACTED]'s friends.
And, [REDACTED]'s father's last known place was around the Westalian-Ostanian border. He could have escaped in the crossfire, theoretically...
Exhibit C: Fatherly Nature (?)
We all love a good found-family dynamic in the workplace. It's there with WISE, it's there with Garden, and it's kinda there with the SSS.
My main argument about this stems from the chapter which focuses on Yuri's work.
We see YB continuously worry about Yuri's physical health, in panels like:
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Obviously, this doesn't happen only in this chapter. Whenever Yuri's there, YB is also there, yelling at him to a) go to sleep, or b) STOP GETTING HIT BY BUSSES OH MY FUCKING GOD IT CAN'T HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES TO ONE PERSON-
And, of course, there's the Yuri Sick Fic chapter:
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Not gonna lie, this point is extremely weak, if I brought this up in court I'd be laughed out of there-
Anyway, I just wanted to put this in.
If it does turn out that YB is [REDACTED]'s father then. Bestie. Buddy. How are you managing to be a better father-figure to some insolent kid who gets hit by busses than you were to your actual son, like 20 years ago. Maybe he learned along the way.
Exhibit D: Symbolism (???)
Oh, look, another point I'm pulling out of my ass! But whatever, you're reading it <3
During the War Arc, we see Twilight sustain two major injuries:
One, as a child, when his home is bombed:
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And two, as an adult, in the army:
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and these injuries are both to his left eye.
Of course, this has given rise to theories of him not being able to see his left eye, it being his blind spot, and Yor guarding his blind spot on missions, etc., etc., which I love bc ✨Twiyor✨
Getting back on point, if we look at YB, we see that he has injuries too... or rather, remnants of them, what with the scars he has...
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which, are also on his left eye. Huh! Interesting... this might just be me, but could this be parallels to how similar he and his father were? Are? His father also wanted peace between Ostania and Westalis: but he taught his child that in a very harsh manner (by slapping him), but Twilight wants to teach Anya that in a kind manner. Whenever we see him teaching her, he never loses his cool with her (of course, he loses a lot of hope, but this man's a pessimist, what can we do).
Also shows how much kinder Twilight is, compared to his father.
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Of course, these points are very weak, and it might just be that Endo reused some character designs for efficiency, but let me be, ok!! This is a crack theory!!! Let me be a clown!!!! AKDFJSJF
If I'm being honest, this post was inspired by a convo I'd had with my friend, around the time Chapter 86 was released. She was theorizing that [REDACTED]'s dad is the Shopkeeper, and I was theorizing it was this dude. Of course, our theorizing was sidetracked by Chapter 86, and a certain panel within it, but... WHATEVER.
So, what are your thoughts? Obviously, my own theory is very weak (for example, why would the SSS accept a Westalian citizen into their ranks? Why would he even join the SSS? Could he have defected? Abandoned his wife and kid?), but this was fun to think about, lol. What are your theories? I think the Shopkeeper-is-the-dad theory and the YB-is-his-dad theory are both cool, so, what do you think?
(Also, yeah, I know, his dad could very well be dead. I just refuse to believe it, bc I'm just Like That <3)
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55sturn · 2 months
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ SWALLOWIN’ MY PRIDE
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↳ series masterlist!
↳ summary: in which chris is forced to swallow his pride as he comes to terms with the new that y/n has shared, realizing it’s not just her fault. however when he mentions the alternatives, he fails to see how much it hurts his girlfriend.
↳ pairings: boston bruins player!chris sturniolo x fem!reader!
↳ warnings: swearing, angst, chris not wanting a kid, verbal arguments, big talks about abortions and giving the kid up for adoption, mentions and descriptions of vomiting, a loooot of angst tbh.
↳ important things to note: this is a heavy chapter so please keep that in mind if you choose to keep reading, i’ve done my part and have warned you about what this chapter entails so please do yours and close out of this fic if you cannot handle those topics. i am not your mother i cannot stop you, but if you choose to keep going despite being uncomfortable with the things i’ve warned you about, you are not allowed to get upset with anyone but yourself. enjoy<3
THIRD PERSON POV
chris was left utterly speechless as he stared at the thin plastic stick in his hand. the only thing running through his mind, was “what am i going to do? i just signed the contract today?” he felt guilty being so absorbed in his doubts about his career but it was something he had worked for his entire life. he knew his concerns were selfish, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop worrying about them.
the words “we’re pregnant, chris.” rang in his ears like a bell chiming, he felt his breath get stuck in his throat and he wasn’t able to breathe. he quickly shifted y/n off his lap so he could begin pacing, he held his head in his hands as his skates clunked against the padded locker room floor.
“what the fuck are we going to do y/n?” chris spits, his voice broken and unsteady as he looks at his girlfriend, her eyes red with unshed tears as she shook her head softly and shrugged.
“i don’t know chris.”
“why weren’t you careful?” chris exclaims, unintentionally putting all the blame on her as her head snaps up, her brows furrowed tightly as she breathes out a listless laugh.
“how is this all my fault?”
“i’m not saying it’s your fault. but why didn’t you just get an abortion?”
“in case you forgot what you were taught in fifth grade health class, it takes two people to make a baby, chris. you were the one that wanted to hit it raw and you promised to pull out but clearly you didn’t. and i didn’t want to abort it without your input because this child is half of you, too. and i would not be able to sit through that alone!“ she scoffs, tears dripping down her cheeks as she stares up at him, guilt and regret chipping away at the slight glimmer of hope that chris would be okay with it that she held.
“i just signed a good contract baby, i can’t miss my games for this shit.” chris sighs, his heart rate slowing down, but his mind was still racing, leaving him blind to the internal battle his girlfriend was facing.
he felt sick, he had everything mapped out for the next five years and this baby completely threw a wrench in everything that he had meticulously planned. there was no way a baby this early in his career would look good, it’d make him look reckless and uncaring about his job.
“do you not think i’ve been thinking about that, chris? that’s the only thing i’ve been thinking about since i found out or even had the slightest idea i was pregnant, i have been terrified of derailing the life plans you’ve set up for yourself and i don’t know what the fuck to do but what i do know, is that we’re pregnant and we have to make a decision about this. so until you’ve processed this, you can stay with one of your brother’s, i will be waiting at home.” y/n replies, her voice gradually getting quieter and breaking even more as she finishes. wiping her tears, she quickly exists the room, the need to vomit overcoming her.
her mind wouldn’t stop racing. it brought every possible scenario to the surface and she was beyond scared. what was she going to do? chris sure as hell didn’t seem to want the baby, and she thought she didn’t either but talking about it to chris had her realizing that she wants a family more than anything.
as she knelt in front of the toilet , she couldn’t help but laugh internally. finding out you’re expecting a child was supposed to be a joyous and happy time. finding out that you’re carrying a life that is half of yourself and the person you’re in love with, the person you’re fully committed to for life, was supposed to have you feeling over the moon. and instead, it had y/n’s stomach twisting with guilt, regret, heartache, and distress.
ash she wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, she sat on the edge of it, letting her tears fall as she let the feelings of hopelessness and loss fully consume her heart. would she really see this pregnancy to term if chris didn’t want anything to do with her and the baby? if she did, would she let chris back into her life when he decides he wants a family? or would he seek a family somewhere else?
“how the fuck am i going to survive this without him?” she whispered to herself, quickly exiting the public washroom and making a beeline for the front entrance.
chris on the other hand, was stoic as stared at the wall opposite of him, the thin plastic stick beside him taunting him and his mind, almost as if it was telling him that he was acting selfishly. instead of comforting his girlfriend, who was as equally terrified of their recent news as chris, if not more? he blamed her. he yelled at her.
he callously told her to abort their baby to be. to get rid of the life growing inside her as if it meant nothing. as if it wasn’t the product of two people that loved each other deeply. even if it wasn’t planned or considered, that child to be was still the result of chris and y/n’s love. of the fact that they held each other so closely that they made love without any preventative measures. but chris couldn’t look at it that way, he didn’t want to.
his focus was on his career, hockey was everything to him. it made him everything he is. but was hockey really the only thing that mattered to chris? as he mulled over the answer, images of y/n sobbing as she held the freshly positive test, of her sobbing and scared in front of him waiting for him to pull her into his arms in the middle of that locker room flash through his mind. he felt guilty, he hadn’t even hugged her as she sobbed, he so badly wishes he could rewind the clock a few minutes so he could react differently but he couldn’t.
he knew he wanted a family at some point in his life, but now? it was so early. he wanted to bask in all the glory of being the newest and youngest star on the bruins without the responsibilities of his personal life hanging over his head. but that wasn’t possible.
as his team made their way down the hall, chris shoved the test into the side pocket of his hockey bag and plastered a fake smile on his face. the team cheered and hollered as they had won the game. chris joined in on the festivities, briefly forgetting the decision he had to make as the team got dressed in their suits and dress clothes, deciding to hit the bar in the lounge above the rink nd celebrate their win and landing bracket in the playoffs.
y/n was in the complete opposite state, she sat at the table, the meal she had prepped hours ago as soon as she got home after leaving the game early sat on the table in front of her. it had grown cold and stale as she tried to bring the urge to eat to life but she couldn’t bear the thought of choking back her food. she hated eating without chris. she knew he wasn’t going to join her after she told him to stay with one his brothers, but out of pure muscle memory she made a plate for him and it sat across the table from her, taunting her, as if to say “this is what your future will look like if chris decides he doesn’t want the baby.” and it broke her heart into a million shards.
could she really handle a life without him? they’ve been together for so long as it is. was it worth it to go through everything that they have already, just for a child to tear them apart? she didn’t know the answer to that and she didn’t want to. she hoped that somehow, chris’ mind would change and he would have this great epiphany and realize he wants this, the family life with y/n.
she knew how important this spot on the bruins’ team was to chris, she knew that more than anybody else. but was it more important than a life with the woman he called his soulmate? was his career more important to him than his relationship?
y/n, truthfully, had began to believe it was. he would call off dates and anniversary dinners to go hang out with the team, he would come home late the nights he promised to be home early. he put so much of their time together on the back burner, and maybe this child was the wake-up call she needed. maybe she wasn’t cut out for the life of dating a superstar hockey player.
sighing, she cleared the plates off, putting the leftovers in an air-tight container and leaving them for her or, hopefully, chris to eat another day. she quickly loaded the dishwasher and started it before cleaning the rest of the kitchen. as she had finished, she flicked off the main kitchen light, leaving the light above the stove on so that when chris came home, if he had made up his mind yet, he wouldn’t be surrounded by complete darkness. but she knew in the back of her mind, chris coming home tonight was just wishful thinking.
as she laid in bed, she scrolled through instagram, chris’ story updates catching her eye. pressing down on his profile circle surrounded by a pinkish purple ring, she was met with the sight of chris and john shot gunning beer in their suits, leaving her slightly hurt that instead of talking about things with her or his brothers he chose to party with his team. she knew that making an appearance at the after parties was important, she had just hoped their situation was more important. but refusing to let herself dwell on what she meant to chris, she rolled over and willed herself to sleep.
it had been a few days since her confession to chris and she had yet to hear even just a single word from him. and the silence was killing her. after her doctors appointment, which confirmed that she was in fact two months along, she had received texts of congratulations and more from his family so she assumed he had said something and maybe he wasn’t completely ashamed of what was happening, but she had a gnawing feeling of doubt in her stomach telling her that wasn’t the case.
“matt i don’t know what to think.” chris sighed, looking to his more level-headed brother for advice in this situation.
“well chris, do you really want her to abort it? like can you live with the fact that you’re putting her through that, you know that she’s completely all for it, but it’s different when it’s the one going through it. so would you be able to live with the fact that you’re pushing her to take away this chance, both of yours and hers, at a family right now?”
“well when you word it that way-“
“and who’s to say that you won’t be looking at having a family the same way down the line if, let’s say, she aborts the baby now and this entire thing happens again? would you put her through it twice? when you could just as easily implement all the later plans with your career that included a family into your plans for now. it would be much easier to maneuver things around right because the ink on your contract has barely dried yet. you do it later down the line and shit could go up in flames. but if you’re still dead set on pushing her to an abortion, by all means do it. it’s up to you man but from the way you’ve talk about it, y/n wants to have a family so what you’re doing is most likely killing her, and if you pushing her to do this wrecks your relationship, you won’t find another girl to love you the way she does. and i know you didn’t actually ask for it, but my opinion is that you’re being a fucking idiot. you and i both know that all you’ve wanted with y/n is to raise a family. you talked about your future kids’ names with her two months into the start of your relationship. so i’m not sure why you’re doing all this shit, chris.” matt rambled, his words cutting directly into the flesh of chris’ heart, he knew matt was right. every word he spoke nothing but truth clinging to it. so why was he putting both him and y/n, mainly y/n, through all of this? sighing, chris nodded and thanked him for the advice before plucking his keys off the counter of matt’s kitchen before heading out the door and climbing into his car.
chris made quick work of driving home to y/n, he felt so unbelievably guilty for leaving her alone with her thoughts for as long as he had. as he stepped into their shared home, he felt like an intruder, he didn’t feel like himself, because in what world would chris, the same chris who is so unbelievably and irrevocably in love with y/n, push her to terminate their child? chris should’ve been ecstatic and sobbing over the news. instead he let his job cloud his judgement and focus, and he felt terrible.
“baby?” chris calls out, quickly climbing the entryway stairs and standing in the main hallway, waiting for y/n to answer.
“in here.” she calls back, her voice tired and strained from all the crying she had done. as chris rounds the corner into their room, his heart breaks at the sight of her curled up on his side of the bed in his hoodie.
“i am so sorry y/n, i’ve been an asshole.”
“i’ll say.” she whispers, shifting back to her side of the bed as chris climbs in beside her.
“i want to apologize for blaming you, it’s not your fault. and for suggesting an abortion without actually hearing what you want. if you want one, i’ll support you. i talked to matt and he made me realize what a jackass i’ve been. if you genuinely want this baby, then i do too. i love you, and i want you to be safe and happy. and if having a family makes you happy, then i’m willing to raise this baby with you because in all honesty, i do want this baby.”
“what about your career?”
“we’ll figure that out when we need to.”
“okay. i love you.”
“i love you forever and a day, y/n. i’m so sorry i’ve been so shitty, i was scared and lashed out on you when i should’ve acknowledged that you were scared too, i shouldn’t have let you deal with it on your own.” chris hums, wrapping his arms around her as she dries her tears and rest her head against his chest.
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© 55STURN 2024 ! REBLOGS NOT EXPECTED BUT GREATLY APPRECIATED ! [ you do not have permission to copy or save or share my work to other platforms and devices! ]
↳ this story is far from over, let me know if you want a part three <3 there’s gonna be so much angst i actually feel bad which is crazy bc i never feel bad for writing angst
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charlottecutepie · 3 months
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☥ Bunny meat (William Afton x fem!reader x Michael Afton)
Summary: He was a likeable middle-aged man who had wonderful children, his dream job and a beautiful wife. He never blamed himself for his own actions, or to be more exact, he never thought about their consequences.
author note: im glad some of you liked the story and left comments, im glad I can share with you this fic, hopefully you’ll like this chapter<3
tags: darkfic, unhealthy relationship, angst, smut with plot, p in v, dubcon, oral sex, rough and gentle sex, daddy kink, blood play, knife play, fear play, hurt/comfort, violence, gore/murders, child abuse, follows fnaf lore, moral and physical abuse, virginity kink, anxiety disorder, age gap, daddy issues, unreliable narrator, hallucinations, hidden pairing, William is sick, psychopathy, unhealthy narcissism
Chapter 3
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Chapter 2. Birthday girl
The bright rays of the sun hit your closed eyelids, making you wince and cover yourself with a blanket. But because of the sultry summer heat, you became instantly hot. When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was your own personal open diary. Being half asleep, you forgot that you were writing in it all night. In a panic, you closed it and hid it under the pillow, hoping that mom didn't come into your room.
After you got yourself in order, you went out to the living room, but mom wasn't home. She left a note saying that breakfast was on the table, and she would be back in a few hours. You sighed.
What a nice beginning of your birthday.
Mom returned home closer to two o'clock in the afternoon. You noticed how her, all happy and cheerful, was getting out of the purple car with bags.
You knew whose car it was. You didn't like it.
The next hours flew by quickly. Your mom all happy entered house, you rushed into her arms. A million kind words, congratulations, kisses on the forehead. And most importantly — your gift. A minimalistic purple dress, made as if specifically for your figure. It fit you perfectly, hugging your waist and breasts.
Closer to evening, you and your mom were ready. She put on makeup, not too bright, but it was unusual for you to see her with lipstick and mascara. She was wearing her favorite skirt, which she always wore for walks with you when you were little. A light beige jacket complemented her look.
“Okay, now we’ll wait for a taxi.” said woman, approaching you.
The car pulled up a few minutes later while you were standing and discussing the upcoming evening. You and mom got in the back seats and the driver started the car. The whole ride you couldn't leave the thought of where mom got the money for a taxi. And when you got out of the car, your confusion only increased, because she didn’t pay driver as he only smiled goodbye.
It appeared to the eye. The most famous pizzeria in your whole town: “Freddy Fazbear's Pizza”. It looked like an ordinary diner, but you knew why it caused such a stir among children and adults. It was because of those animatronics, which, to tell the truth, caused you strange feelings. These robots were thousands of times taller and bigger than you, and their design always made you shiver. Despite the fact that you spent your entire childhood in this pizzeria, because you had to hide from your father somewhere, you still couldn't get used to their appearance. But the children who came here, apparently, were satisfied with everything.
When you entered the pizzeria, you immediately noticed that… Nothing has changed here. It was strange, because Mr. Afton was always busy with drawings, some projects related to this place. What can you say, he literally lived here, disappearing into his office day and night. The place was filled with people, mostly little kids, who happily jumped around animatronics, trying to somehow talk to them. Most of the tables were occupied, you started looking around the pizzeria in search of an empty seat.
“And here you are!” voice of William Afton called out to you. You jumped in surprise, causing him to grin. “Oh, what happened? Did I really scare you that much?”
“Mr. Afton, good evening!” your mom shook his hand.
“Hello, [your mom’s name].” he looked at her with a smile and, turning around, went to an single table, telling you to follow him. “ I chose this place especially for our dear birthday girl.”
Your cheeks flushed from such attention. You smiled and you sat down at the table. Your mom picked up the menu, but mr. Afton shook his head.
“Excuse me, ladies, but I have reserved today's choice for myself. In honor of your birthday, we offer you the best pizza and drinks of the diner!” he clapped his hands, imitating joy. “You won’t be disappointed.”
With these words, he disappeared from sight, leaving into the crowd of children and adults. You looked at your mom, who was just glowing with an abundance of joy and happiness. She looked so carefree, happy as a child, and you laughed at the thought of who has a birthday here.
Half an hour later, a nice and friendly waitress brought a huge hot cheese pizza with an incredible flavor. Smile didn’t leave your face as the look of this pizza was so good that you noticed the envious look of the children at the near tables.
You and mom started eating. After a while, William joined you both. Sitting down at your table, he waved to the waitress, and she instantly brought you three glasses and a bottle of champagne. This surprised you, but you decided not to show it, continuing to smile.
“You know, this is a children's place and alcohol is not welcome here.” Afton began, pouring champagne into glasses. “but in honor of the coming of age of Y/n, I decided that its possible to break this rule.” he smiled, looking at you.
“Mr. Afton, you are right, such a day should definitely be celebrated!” your mother has already taken a full glass, the same thing was done by the man himself. Both adults looked at you expectantly. You laughed nervously and also took the glass in your hand.
“Happy birthday, Y/n!” exclaimed William and you clinked glasses. It was your first experience with alcohol, bringing a glass to your lips and drinking the liquid from it, you immediately winced at the taste, although the smell was quite tolerable.
You spent the remaining half hour at the same table, talking about absolutely any topic, remembering how you spent your childhood in this pizzeria, and William also talked about his eldest son. You laughed at the stories about Michael, because he was your best friend from school, and he always positioned himself as a cool, dangerous macho in front of you, and in William's stories he was just a silly boy.
Time flew by so fast that you didn't even notice how all the people disappeared. Looking at the clock, you saw that it was already late evening, which means the pizzeria closed its doors to visitors, however, this didn’t alarm either Afton or your mother. They were sitting at the table, having a nice conversation about something, until her phone rang.
“Excuse me for a moment.”
You were left alone with him. All your joy in one moment disappeared somewhere, giving way to anxiety. You began nervously touching the hem of your dress, afraid to start a conversation.
“You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress.” William broke the silence. You looked up at him and smiled sweetly, thanking him. “Yeah… after all, I have a sense of style.” he chucked, taking a sip of champagne.
“Did you buy this dress?”
“This is a gift for your coming of age.” he noticed your confused look and added: “yes, I paid for the taxi too, honey."
Those nicknames again… This stupid pinky blush appears on your cheeks again. All you can do is keep smiling stupidly.
“I really liked this dress, Mr. Afton!”
Your conversation was interrupted by your mother, running up to you with worried look on her face.
“Mr. Afton, please take Y/n home, I am urgently called to work.” then your smile instantly disappeared. You looked at Mom, pleading with her to stay. “Oh, hun, I'm sorry, but it's very urgent. I'll be home early in the morning, don't wait for me and go to bed.” after kissing your forehead one last time, she ran out of the pizzeria.
William's car isn't exactly small, but it's not huge either. Anxious thought didn’t leave your head that he drank alcohol and got behind the wheel, you hoped that you would get home safely. In general, ideally you should have been sitting in the back seat, but it was occupied by some things.
“Don't be so nervous, y/n." his voice sounded so calm. “You've known me since childhood, why are you so scared?”
Damn, was your anxiety really that noticeable?
“Sorry, I haven't been myself lately…”
“You’ve always been a little scared girl.” you frowned at such statements, you’re not sure whether he was mocking or showing real emotions. “I feel so sorry for you, such a hard childhood.”
At end, you arrived without incident. His car is parked next to your house. Afton took you to the porch, all this time his piercing gaze didn’t leave you.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“You're welcome, dear, and happy birthday again.”
You went inside, but when you heard his footsteps behind you, you got confused and looked at him in surprise.
“Mr. Afton, is something wrong?” you asked, watching him come into your house, closing the door. “I can wait my mom alone.”
“I see that you’re afraid to be alone.” he smiled. “Do you mind if I keep such a lovely girl company?”
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jo-harrington · 11 months
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Freaky Friday - A Stranger Things Story (Part 5)
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Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Word Count: 14.1k
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, Eddie and Steve (Enemies to Friends)
Summary: Eddie thinks that Steve has everything in life handed to him on a silver platter (including his new girlfriend who Eddie has a crush on). And Steve just can't believe that the kids look up to Eddie the Freak, or that he lives his life without giving a single fuck.
Must be nice. But you know what they say, the grass is always greener.
Warnings/Themes: AU with no Upside Down. Angst, body swapping, dark magic/alchemy, fluff, love, smut, mutual pining, Character development, manipulation/deception, Things That Require Communication (Hey Guess What) , Reader gets a nickname (Honey), no Y/N if I can help it, self hatred, loss of identity, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, dry humping
Note: Ok guys, here we are. Only 4 hours late and with no PiV because I'm a lying bitch but I will write a oneshot if we want it. Holy shit, but can I say that this is the first "series" that I have finished writing. I talk a big fucking game about writing fics for so long, but man those were LONG FICS that I abandoned hundreds of thousands of words in, or they were all oneshots that now only live on my old computer. The ending, I hope, is not disappointing, but I literally didn't want it to be left up to interpretation. Thank you @ghost-proofbaby for tamping my insecurities down with this one. If I am the brains of this series, you for sure are the heart. And let's not forget @shiftingtherain once again for inspiring this whole thing to begin with.
This chapter is unedited...but I am tired and sweaty and happy. So have fun.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
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"You're lucky I don't have to--shit!" Robin's eyes went as Steve opened the door to the trailer and she got a view of his--Eddie's--face. She reached out, as if to touch the swollen bruising, but second guessed herself and her hands immediately found the straps of her backpack. "What happened to you?"
"Eddie happened," Steve grumbled miserably.
"Eddie?!" Robin shrieked and Steve immediately shushed her and swatted her into the trailer. He pointed to Wayne, who was--thankfully--dead asleep and snoring on the fold-out bed, then ushered her back towards Eddie's room.
He'd felt...somewhat guilty early on when he realized that Wayne slept out there on the uncomfortable fold-out while "Eddie" had a room and a bed, and had tried to offer to swap, but Wayne grumbled something along the lines of "if I told you once, I told you a thousand times."
"Eddie did this?" Robin asked once the bedroom door was shut behind her. "Did he lose his mind?! Why would he punch you? You two are supposed to be...seeing through one another's eyes and all that shit. Working together to get back into your own bodies."
Steve felt his stomach drop.
He had stewed on it all night Friday and all day Saturday as he hid in Eddie's room and wallowed in shame. The sick sort of triumph he felt when he got that response from Eddie--as impulsive and fueled by anger as his own words had been--had faded and as the mottled colors began stitching together and spreading across his skin, the realization of just what he had said had settled in. And with every moment that the ache in his face became more pronounced, his guilt grew.
"I...I might have...fucked up," he admitted. Robin's expression went from one of shock to one of annoyance, and Steve immediately launched into a recap of Friday night. Hell...of everything that he'd been keeping from her.
Because, truth be told, he had been.
Steve knew that Robin was more in touch with her emotions, or rather...acknowledged them at the very least instead of simply ignoring them. She was smart as a whip and when she made you face the truth, it stung just as badly. He had told her that he'd been getting tutoring sessions...just not from who. Every time he brought up Nancy...well...Robin wasn't her biggest fan. Really not because of anything that she had done...except break Steve's heart...but because he couldn't get over her no matter how hard he tried.
And if he was being honest with himself, he hadn't...really tried too hard.
Steve hoped Robin would see things from his perspective, though. Her expression remained stony as he explained everything, but her emotions shone through her eyes as he poured his heart out. As he admitted to all the mistakes he made.
"I don't...I don't really believe those things," Steve explained truthfully. "But when I get hurt? When I'm desperate and overwhelmed? I just...lash out. You know this. And there's so much I've had to keep inside and this whole experience.
"Rob...you've gotta believe me, it's been shit. Eddie's right, his life is hard...I really don't know how he does it but...damn my life sucks too alright? So I figured, if I could have one thing, just one thing, to make it all worth it...this might be it.
"But I don't know why...why he wouldn't just let me have this," he concluded and ran a hand over his face, wincing as he pressed into his black eye.
"Alright, you're not just a dingus, you're a real bonehead," Robin rolled her eyes. "You and Eddie both! This whole situation isn't some treat for either of you, it's supposed to be a lesson."
"I know that!" Steve threw his hands out to gesture at himself. "But I'm still Eddie and Eddie's still me. So what lesson? What is selfless love?"
"Because you haven't...you haven't..." Robin sighed and ran her hands through her bangs. "Maybe we're working backwards? We're trying to find...selfless love. But...but the spell said there was a prize reflected in each other's eyes. What about self love? Gotta love yourself before you love someone else right? Or whatever bullshit those self help people say on the Oprah show."
"That's bullshit Rob, I don't love myself," Steve grumbled. "In fact, I hate myself...a lot."
"Ok ok," she pointed at him. "See and you thought Eddie had it all, that he loved his life. You told me so yourself. You were jealous because he had it all."
"But he doesn't."
"And he thought you had it all? But now he's realizing you don't," she reasoned.
The more Robin talked and rambled, the more she made sense. She snapped her fingers and waved her hands around, as though willing the solution into her head.
"Ok," Steve sighed. "We've figured out that no...we don't actually like being one another...so what gives? Why haven't we switched back?"
Robin gasped and grabbed Steve by the shoulders to shake him.
"It's Nancy! You idiot!" she hissed.
"Nancy?" Steve frowned. "Nancy's not stuck in someone else's body, I am."
"No!" Robin groaned. "You were on the right track but you started thinking with your dick when you thought that you could get back with Nancy!"
Steve began to fidget.
Was it...could that have been the answer all along?
He refused to believe it.
"We loved each other!"
"But you loved her more than she loved you," Robin explained, mirroring words he had once confided in her right back to him. "And you refused to let her go. And now you would quite literally be someone else entirely to get her back."
"She doesn't love Steve," he signed. "But she might love Eddie."
"Are you hearing yourself right now?" Robin stared at him, dumbfounded. "You are not Eddie Munson. You have to let her go. You have to accept yourself, and if that means letting Nancy go, then it's the right thing to do. You need to apologize to Eddie...and you need to fix this."
Steve's mind raced; he knew, deep down, it was all true but...he just couldn't accept that it was just that easy.
"Ok, ok, b-but there has to be another way," Steve attempted to deflect and Robin groaned and rolled her eyes. "No, wait, hear me out here. I...I could...help him get a job at the dealership--"
"Not gonna help when you are still Eddie and you don't know shit about cars," Robin reasoned.
Steve pushed past her and dug through the pile of notebooks and textbooks on Eddie's dresser.
"I could get him to graduate," Steve bargained.
"I think you need to give it up," Robin rolled her eyes. "You know what you need to do."
"No, I can do other selfless things, I can, I can..."
Steve and Robin went back and forth, verbally jousting with excuses and explanations, as he flipped through Eddie's school notebooks. He glanced over half-finished essay drafts and barely legible chemistry equations. As though there would be some great solution to this problem amongst the countless algebra equations and--
"Hang on," Steve held his hand out to silence Robin. He turned and showed her the notebook. "Look at this."
"What is it?" She took the notebook from him and they flipped through the notebook together.
Your name. Over and over. Your initials and Eddie's. Little heart drawings and daggers and--what Steve assumed to be--princesses and knights. And then towards the end...a bunch of pen scribbles obscuring the little fantasies with the oh-so-familiar sigil drawn beneath.
It had been a notebook that Steve had scooped into his arms along with piles of Eddie's laundry and other knick knacks in an attempt to tidy up the trailer a little bit for his own sanity Wayne. To clear away some of the clutter. Especially after he and Eddie had torn the trailer apart looking for the occult book that one night, something that felt like ages ago now.
Steve felt a kind of triumph at this. Justification.
What a fucking hypocrite.
So it wasn't just him that was holding up their inevitable switch back, it was Eddie too. Eddie had a crush on you, and now he had gotten exactly what he wanted by dating you for Steve.
Except...
Except Eddie sort of always seemed to be worried about you. Worried about you finding out the truth, wondered how upset you might be if you did.
"Shit..." Steve sighed.
"Ok so maybe Eddie is as much to blame here as you are," Robin rationalized. "I told him...he needed to tell her the truth, that she would be heartbroken. I didn't realize that he..."
"No...it's..." Steve struggled. "Shit...shit."
Because it all made sense. Steve hadn't thought about the details, really, but he knew how it felt to have feelings for someone who you couldn't have...who didn't like you back. And while he happily planned to try Nancy back...Eddie...and you...
"Shit!"
He had to talk to Eddie.
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"Hey Steve. Uhh..." You twirled the phone cord around your finger as you stammered into the receiver; the speech that you had practiced in your head was completely forgotten as you got the Harrington's answering machine.
"Listen, you left pretty quickly last night and I was just wondering if everything was alright? Or...or maybe I did something to upset you? B-because...we are having a good day, I just...if I did something...I'm sorry. Anyway...uhm...I'll try calling back later...or I'll...yeah...bye."
You slammed the phone as you hung up and covered your face with a groan.
You were up all night--heartbroken and embarrassed.
Steve left...he ran out of your house. One minute...he was...well he was...
You'd had a wonderful date and you had been...so focused, so in the moment as he...gave you the most intense pleasure you'd ever felt...and he just left.
You had been shocked. Barely clothed, legs made of jelly--whole body made of jelly--stunned into silence as he pushed himself away from you and pulled his clothes back on. When you called his name, he looked sick to his stomach.
His eyes clamped shut, shook his head, and then ran.
You'd pushed yourself out of bed, stumbled after him while calling his name, but he was gone. You could practically hear the tires screeching as he tore down the street.
Something happened. You must have done something. It was the only explanation that made sense. Everything had been going great and then it wasn't, and he looked so...disgusted.
So it must have been you. You wracked your brain for some idea...
Did you...did you make a weird noise? Did you...moan too loud or something?
...until a sense of dread overcame you.
Had you said Eddie's name? And not Steve's?
No...no...you couldn't have. Because as much as Eddie kept popping up in your thoughts...you knew that you were with Steve. Your entire head and heart were filled with Steve Harrington.
So why did something still feel wrong when you thought about it now?
Your mom got home late and had trudged off to bed; she barely glanced into your room to make sure you were asleep, and you had half the urge to stop her before she scuttled off. But you knew she would grill you if she saw the tear tracks reflecting the streetlight outside of your room.
You couldn't tell her about this.
And of course, you didn't tell your mom everything but...you really could have used a little bit of comfort. Her occasional words of wisdom that seemed to make everything better.
It was as you lay in your bed that you thought about the other times you'd gone to her, the times you'd cry after a mishap that your child brain couldn't quite comprehend. All the hurt in the world because of a doll that wasn't shared, or some painful words that were thrown around haphazardly.
"I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding," she always said. "You can talk in the morning, and it'll all be ok."
Except it wasn't ok. And Steve hadn't picked up. And you felt...sick.
You would have gone over to the Harrington's house or Family Video if you didn't have to get to work...to apologize in person and...
And what? What if he never wants to see you again? What if this just pushes him right back into the arms of Nancy Wheeler?
You knew that the insidious little voice in your head was just...just praying on your insecurities. It was irrational, but a fear was a fear. And you didn't want to lose someone you loved as wonderful as Steve.
You took a calming breath and made a plan...you had work today and class all day tomorrow, which meant if Steve didn't call back by the time you got out of work...you might not even going to see him until Tuesday night at the earliest if he was going to hang out with Eddie and the--
Eddie.
Your stomach lurched with nerves.
He and Eddie were friends, it was a fact that you were trying to move past. And as much as it anguished you to see Eddie...you couldn't lose Steve. So maybe...just maybe if Eddie didn't already know what happened and refused to look at you, he would know how to fix this.
You couldn't wait for Tuesday night.
You needed to fix this today.
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"There you go sweetie," Mary cooed as she placed a mug of chicken soup on the bedside table and then brushed the hair out of "Steve's" face. "And I ran out and got crackers and ginger ale if you're not feeling up to soup."
"Uh-huh. Great. Thanks mom," Eddie muttered and stared numbly at the plaid-papered walls. If he didn't look at her, if he focused on the tense whooshing sound in his ears instead of her voice, he could pretend that it was his mom taking care of him.
Truthfully, he didn't want to be here, pretending to be sick. After he'd made his escape from your house, he realized he had nowhere to go where he could ground himself in...well...in himself. The one place he wanted--his stupid, ramshackle trailer in Forest Hills...home--was still inaccessible to him. So was his other home, you, as he had just...left you. Ran. Like a coward.
While he didn't want to be stuck in the Harrington's house with Mary up his ass for hours, he knew it was the only place he could really let himself become numb without interference from the outside world. So Eddie resigned himself to another day of being Steve Harrington and allowed Steve's mother to coddle him. The cold reception he had been receiving from Mary was immediately replaced with gentle care that made Eddie feel like a kid again, in those carefree days between his father's incarceration and his mother's death.
Knowing how deceitful she was, though...how willing she was to manipulate her son...well, needless to say that Eddie wasn't really buying the sincerity of Mary's behavior. He wished that it was genuine--for Steve's sake, even though he was still pissed at Steve--but in the case that it wasn't, he was not letting up on his demands.
Chicken soup from the deli, snacks from the grocery store, and some time in the house alone so he could smoke a joint in peace and let the high calm his troubles for a little while.
"You know," Mary sat down on the edge of the bed and Eddie groaned, which immediately got her to change her mind and remain standing. "I called the video store to let them know you were having a sick day, and that manager. Kevin? Keith? He was incredibly rude."
"Yeah," Eddie responded as Mary continued, disinterested in making a conversation now that he had started to come down from his high.
"And speaking of rude," she scoffed. "There's this...rude girl who's called twice this morning already while I was out; she left messages. Is this the girl who you've been going out with Stevie?"
Eddie's interest piqued and his spirits lifted just the slightest, then fell again, when he realized it must have been you.
Now, after the panic had subsided, he knew that he had messed up. That he shouldn't have run. Fuck...he couldn't finish what he started but at the very least he could have...stayed and told you the truth. Told you everything. But hindsight was 20-20, or so they said, and in the heat of the moment...running from the reality that he wasn't himself and that you would never love him seemed like the only thing he could do.
Eddie didn't quite know how to feel about the fact that you were calling him now. It wasn't that he didn't want to see you. No, he...he only wanted to fix what he had messed up. But...he just couldn't stand to see you look at Steve with that look in your eyes. Hear you say his name, when all Eddie wanted was for you to want him.
"...sounded so unsure of herself. That's not the kind of girl you want to attach yourself to; you need someone who knows what they want and will go after it. Not to mention that she apologized. Said she hurt your feelings. Is this why you're sick? What did she do? I'll have a talk with her mother and make sure she never calls you aga--"
Mary's heated speech was interrupted by the rapid ringing of the doorbell. She tried to ignore it but it kept ringing.
"My God, if we're not answering it means we're busy," she groused under her breath and turned on her heel. "Will some people never learn patience."
Eddie said a quick thank you to whatever deities he could think of for getting Mary away from him, and he closed his eyes.
Back to the rest, back to his wallowing. Back to the...sound of rocks hitting the window, what the hell?
Eddie's eyes shot open and he rolled over to stare at the window, and sure enough, tiny rocks kept hitting the glass. Over and over.
Eddie pushed himself out of bed and crossed the distance. He briefly wondered if you might be out there, if you had tried calling with no answer. But he had negotiated with Benny to give you a day off yesterday, so he knew there was no way you weren't at work today.
He opened the window and leaned out, only to find the surprise of his life when he "Eddie" himself...or rather...the real Steve was standing in the backyard, staring up at him.
Eddie felt a strange sense of satisfaction seeing the swollen black eye on his own face. Much more than the memory of him giving it to himself conjured. That he gave to Steve?
Fuck this wasn't getting any easier to sort out in his head. And there was no way that it was gonna be fixed any time soon.
"What do you want?" Eddie called down to Steve. "Come to rub it in my face that you have a real date with Nancy tomorrow night and that I was wrong?"
"I came to apologize," Steve called back. Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes. "No, I'm serious. I fucked up. I said some nasty things and I regret it. I shouldn't have said them. I was angry."
"A lot of true things are said in anger," Eddie sneered at him. "And that wasn't the first time you said some shit like that."
"I know, and I'm sorry," Steve sighed. "You don't have to forgive me, but...fuck I have to make this right because--"
"Save your breath," Eddie rolled his eyes. "I don't wanna hear it."
He could only imagine what happened that would get Steve to change his tune so quickly.
He tried to make a move on Nancy and she told him to get lost because she had a boyfriend already, regardless of what Harrington Charm Steve thought he possessed.
Or she just laughed in his face because who in the world would ever want to date Eddie Munson.
He winced, knowing it was a little too harsh, but his insecurities would win for another day or two. As eager as he was to get back into his own body, to go home, Steve could stand to deal with the fallout of whatever mess he made. Eddie would just stay in bed until Steve was as tired of this shit as he was. Then maybe they can try to work together and fix this again.
He was about to tell Steve to fuck off, when the patio door opened and Mary's voice echoed across the yard.
"Excuse me, this is trespassing!"
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Steve was frozen, like a deer in the headlights, at the appearance of his mother.
Steve loved his mom, don't get him wrong, but sometimes...
Sometimes he just didn't understand how she could be sweet and loving one moment, and then an absolute misery the next.
It had been a recent discovery, this sharpness to her. In fact, for the longest time, he never considered that she was anything other than a happy and loving PTA mom, well-respected by friends and neighbors.
Growing up, she did everything Steve thought moms were happy to do. Go to PTA meetings, plan summer barbecues, come to all of the games for the sports he played, and cook elaborate dinners for the whole family to enjoy. But as his dad stayed later and later at the dealership, he was less present at family dinners or available for family outings on the weekends, creating Mommy and Stevie time. And as Steve got older, he preferred to hang out with his friends and run around Hawkins then stay at home alone with his mom.
He saw the light start to disappear in her eyes and he just...thought nothing about it. Didn't realize that he was also one to contribute to it.
Tommy H. had made a joke once about his dad having an affair, and Steve just...figured that must be the case for his dad too. He must have been, which is why...why he and mom didn't smile at each other much any more, why birthday gifts had become more elaborate and expensive, why both of his parents traveled together when his dad had conventions and auto shows.
And Steve defended her, always. She was an active member of the community, she went out with friends, and volunteered at the church. She did her best to take care of anything and everything the family needed. Protected them.
Until she didn't.
Until the one afternoon that the strip mall had lost power and Family Video closed early, and Steve came home to find his mom and Mayor Kline together.
All of the care and the sweetness and the motherly love vanished. Steve had suggested she talk to dad, if she was so unhappy...so lonely...but she had spat and swore and cursed his father, claimed that he was the one who ruined things. Ruined her happiness. Ruined their family. But once she saw the hurt expression on Steve's face, she begged him to let it go, to forget about what he saw. Promised that she would do better, she would talk to dad and fix it. For him.
But it happened again, and again. Steve hadn't seen the mayor in their house but he saw the evidence of him. The tie pin left in the bowl that they dropped their car keys in, an extra wine glass next to his mother's on the coffee table. Everything she did felt...forced. Every time he would notice something off, the evidence of all the things she did around the house, for him, for the family, became more noticable. As though she tried to buy his forgiveness rather than actually fix the problems with their family.
He tried to confront her about it again, ask if she had talked to dad. She had yelled and complained and blamed him for wanting to hurt the family. And that was when she offered to give him his allowance back.
Blood Money. Judas. The words echoed in his head, some remnant of some Sunday school lesson that had faded over the years, as he tucked the stack of bills into his wallet.
He didn't know who it was that he betrayed by making this deal...his father, himself, maybe even his mother...but he knew it wasn't right.
So he kept it all inside. Ignored it and let it fester. Kept his mouth shut.
Until now.
Steve looked around the yard, at the big house and the pool, at "Steve" leant out of the window with his good looks and expensive pajamas. He thought about his dad at the dealership, working hard to give this all to them. And finally looked at his mother, who made sure everything looked pristine, only for it all to be festering and rotten just below the surface.
He might have towered over her but couldn't feel any smaller as she glared at him. Glared at "Eddie."
"I, uh," Steve cleared his throat and held his hands out to show that he wasn't doing any harm. "I just came by to talk to Ed--Steve! To talk to Steve."
"So you ding dong ditch and then you trespass into my yard?" Her brow raised in disbelief.
"It's cuz I knew you weren't gonna let me in," he explained.
"If I won't let you in, that means you shouldn't be on my property. Period." his mom sneered at him. "I know you, Eddie Munson; you spray painted my car a few months ago."
Steve glanced up at Eddie, and Eddie simply shrugged as though he hadn't been the one to do it. Which was funny, because in actuality...it had been Steve who maybe had gotten a bit too creative after one too many beers at Heather Holloway's Back to School kegger.
"So what if I did!" Steve shrugged, technically owning up to it.
"That's enough for me to call Chief Hopper right now!" she shrieked, and Steve could see her practically vibrating.
Steve knew that calling the police was sort of his mom's MO. But he wasn't phased.
Probably because he was in Eddie's body and not his own. But maybe it was because he was in Eddie's body that he also felt a bit of courage building.
"You're really going to call the cops on your son's friend?" Steve laughed at her.
"My son wouldn't hang around someone like you."
"Oh yeah? Tell her about Hellfire Club, Stevie! Or how you've been coming to Corroded Coffin shows!" Steve called up to Eddie, whose eyes went wide as he was put on the spot.
"Steven!" his mother turned and glared at Eddie now. "Is this true?"
Eddie stammered and glared at Steve, who didn't give him the chance to respond.
"What? You're surprised that your precious son would want to spend time with a drug dealing, no good, piece of trailer trash?" He practically quoted his mother word for word, having recalled the few times she had encountered Eddie out in Hawkins.
His mom spun around to face him, but he continued.
"Come on, Mare, you don't think that I could be a worse influence on him than you are. With your lying and canoodling with Larry." His voice went falsetto. "Oh Larry, you know how to make a girl feel like she's 20 again. Barf."
"How do you know about that?"
"You're bribing and manipulating your son, you're ruining your family, and on top of that, you're a huge bitch."
Steve felt the weight on his shoulders get lighter with each word that escaped his mouth. He also saw his mother's anger start manifesting physically. She was turning red, shaking, breathing heavily. He knew that he needed to make his escape before she really did call the cops. Or hit him with a shovel or something.
"Wayne's sick," Steve called up to Eddie and Eddie's eyes went wide.
"Who's Wayne? Is that another one of your little drug dealer friends? Get out of my yard. Get off my property!"
As Steve ran from his parents' backyard and away from his screaming mother, his mind raced. He knew he shouldn't lie to Eddie but...desperate times called for desperate measures. He needed to get Eddie alone so they could talk, reconcile what happened. So he could convince him that this...that this was exactly what they needed.
He knew that he needed to rally the troops if he was going to fix what he broke.
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It took hours for Eddie to get out of the house.
As soon as Wayne's name had left Steve's mouth, he felt like he was doused in ice water. Every nerve was on fire, his body itched to leave and it was unfair that he had to be subjected to Mary's tirade as soon as Steve had run and Mary returned to the house.
All he wanted was to get into the car and race to Forest Hills to see his uncle, but instead, he had to listen to her speech about dangerous criminals and vandals and making better life choices. She even tried to lecture him about taking classes at the community college to get away from the deadbeats who hung around Family Video.
Jesus Christ, lady, way to kick a man while he's down.
Once she was done with her lecture, she marched him straight back to bed so he could get the rest he needed.
Eddie knew he'd have to make a miraculous escape and he waited and waited for Mary to settle in the living room or get on the phone or something. His mind raced in the meantime as he thought of all the ways that Wayne might be sick.
Was he sick sick? He'd been sick a grand total of once in Eddie's life, in 79, when a nasty flu bug swept through the whole town. He remembered wishing that he knew how to make soup other than from the can, but when he'd brought Wayne the bowl of microwaved Campbell's, the look of pride on his uncle's face was enough to relieve him of his guilt.
Maybe he'd gotten hurt at the plant? He always made fun of his uncle's age, calling him old timer and geezer and whatnot, but he was getting older and he needed better glasses than the readers he got off the little revolving rack in Melvalds. Maybe he cut himself...or needed stitches. Or threw his back out?
Eddie thought back to his initial idea of getting him a job at the Harrington's dealership, something he never acted on and suddenly felt dread that whatever fate had befallen Wayne had only happened because he hadn't acted fast enough.
Hours passed by and he waited. Mary had brought him a grilled cheese with the crusts cut off, she'd done several loads of laundry, and even ushered him into the bathroom to take a shower. But before he knew it, she had ducked her head into his room.
"Stevie, are you feeling ok?" she asked gently. "I need to run out for a little while. Run a few errands."
Eddie glanced out the window, at the way the sky darkened, and then back at Mary who was dressed a little too nicely for errands.
Nice to know she's going to knock boots with Mayor Douchebag while her son is sick.
"Ok mom," Eddie forced a smile. "Be...safe."
"There's more soup in the fridge, if you want any more while I'm gone."
"Sure."
She turned and left without so much as an I love you, and as soon as Eddie heard her car peel out of the driveway, he was on his feet. He threw on a pair of jeans and one of the t-shirts he had gotten with you the day before, and then ran down the stairs.
"Fuck, she took my keys?" he groaned as he noticed the little bowl on the table in the hallway was conspicuously empty. "Well, bad news that her son is actually a criminal drug dealer deadbeat vandal who knows how to Hotwire a car."
Eddie found tools in the dusty toolbox in the garage, and then strolled out to Steve's BMW. It was a shame that he would cause damage to the vehicle--it had been a nice change from his van, even though he missed the van immensely--but desperate times. He struggled for a moment, the imported car a little trickier than the clunkier Chevys and Fords his dad had taught him on, but he got it in the end.
For the first time in his life, he was a little thankful to his father for giving him some kind of skill, as unsavory as it might have been. Because if he didn't have it, there would be no way for him to see Wayne right now.
Maybe being Eddie Munson wasn't such a bad thing after all.
He pulled into the trailer park and the car skidded to a stop beside the van. Even Wayne's car wasn't here, which meant that Steve probably had to pick Wayne up from the plant.
Or the hospital.
He jogged up the steps and threw open the door...
"What the fuck?" Eddie exclaimed.
...only to find Steve, Robin, Lucas, Dustin, and Will sitting around the living room with notebooks and homework and DnD mini figs. The TV was on, the volume down low, with a stack of videos piled in front of it, and there were cans of soda on every available surface.
"Took you long enough," Dustin announced and rolled his eyes. The other kids started chiming in.
"We started working on homework when you didn't show up right away."
"And Mike's birthday campaign."
"It's been hours!" Robin exclaimed. "Keith is gonna have my ass too, I called off, and you called off too. Which means he's working open to close. And you know how he hates that. Er...um...well one of you knows." Robin glanced back and forth between Eddie and Steve.
Eddie looked around again. The trailer was cleaned, he could hear a load of laundry clunking around in the washing machine, there was a stack of frozen pizzas laid out on the counter in the kitchen, one in the oven making the trailer smell enticing.
But no Wayne.
They tricked him.
"Alright, what the fuck is going on here?" Eddie asked, then zeroed in on Steve. "You lied to me. You used my uncle as bait and you lied to me."
"I'm sorry, I had to," Steve got to his feet and sighed. "You weren't listening to me...and then my mom..."
"You lied to me to get me to come over for some kind of pizza party? I didn't know you were that desperate for friends, Harrington," Eddie asked incredulously.
"No!" Robin interjected. "He lied because the two of you need to settle this once and for all. You haven't been entirely truthful about this whole situation either, Eddie."
"What do you mean? I've told you everything."
"Not everything." Steve pulled a spiral notebook off the coffee table and threw it at him. Eddie's stomach dropped as he realized what he caught. "Open it."
"I don't have to do shit," Eddie feigned anger and threw the notebook over his shoulder.
"No, because you already know what's in it," Steve jeered. "You have a crush on my girlfriend and you've been using this to your advantage this whole time. Don't look at the kids, they already know. I told them." Eddie had glanced at Dustin, Lucas, and Will, half expecting to see betrayal or deception in their eyes, but they looked sympathetic.
"Listen," Steve went on. "I know how it feels to have a crush on someone and think that you don't stand a chance with them. We all do." He gestured at the others, and they all nodded.
Eddie felt uncomfortable under their heavy stares, and it sent his skin crawling.
He knew that he wasn't alone in having a crush on someone; unrequited love had a definition for a reason. He didn't understand why they wanted him here? Why were they confronting him like this? Did they blame him for the spell? He already knew it was his fault.
"So what? Why am I here, Harrington?" Eddie finally asked.
"To work it out once and for all!" Will explained. "There's only two options here."
"There was more to the riddle," Lucas elaborated. "More than just the translation."
"You both want to be with someone that...otherwise wouldn't want to be with you," Robin continued. "The real you."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better about myself, Buckley?" Eddie sneered at her.
"Leave Robin alone," Steve sighed. "She's the one who figured this all out. The prize...reflected in another's eyes...when I saw that notebook I thought that it was...something tangible. Popularity, or...or...friends...or a girl. But the real thing is love."
"Yeah, Selfless Love," Eddie shrugged. "Selfless love will change you back. What about it?"
"But in order to love selflessly, you have to love yourself first. And even if you find it hard to believe, both you and Steve...struggled with that. You thought...you couldn't be loved by the person you wanted the most. You didn't have the kind of life the other had. The love you thought the other had," Robin offered.
"So...there's really only two ways about this." She continued. "We all work together to help you two to learn to love yourselves. It's gonna take some time, because you clearly still hate yourself Eddie, and Steve...yeah he's not gonna admit to it because he's shallow--sorry Steve--but...he struggles to love himself because everyone else leaves him. Shut up Steve, you know I'm right.
"Or... you suck it up and deal with it. Steve stays Eddie, and he shoots his shot with Nancy. And you stay Steve, and you get to keep your honey. And honestly, this needs to be the outcome if we can't get you to change back with the self love thing.
"But it means that the two of you need to work together," Robin concluded. "Because it isn't gonna be easy."
"I'm willing to try if you are." Steve held out his hand to shake. "I mean...it's a win win no matter how you slice it."
Eddie stared at Steve's offered hand and then at all the others' open faces.
He was...touched that they were all here and willing to help. He truly was. And he knew that it was a gesture of good faith from Steve, trying to work together. They'd almost become friends the past few weeks, trying to solve this situation...what he had told Mary earlier had been true. Hell...Eddie was almost proud of Steve for standing up to her the way he did.
But to accept that offer meant that there was nothing to lose. And Eddie had already lost himself.
"Fuck you," he swatted Steve's hand away with his own. "I'm not shaking to that."
There was a collective commotion of "what's" and "why's" from everyone and Steve looked lost.
"What's your deal?" Steve asked.
"What's my deal? What's your deal?" Eddie laughed. "You think I'm gonna believe that you want to help me love myself, when just the other night you listed off every reason under the sun that I'm not worthy of love or friends, and that I would live and die alone. Yeah, real great act there, Harrington."
Steve crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Eddie.
"So you don't want to be me and you don't want to be you, then who do you want to be?"
"I didn't say I didn't want to be me, I just said you're fooling yourself if you think I'm gonna let you help me want to be me. Besides, don't you think it's still a little too convenient that it's only a win-win for you?"
"How is it not also a win for you?" Steve questioned. "You either get your life back or you get the girl of your dreams. Same for me."
"What if I want both."
"Then I say you're the one being selfish here."
"Come on guys," Dustin sighed. "Fighting isn't going to solve anything. You need to come to an agreement and--"
"No, th-th-there's...there's nothing to agree on!" Eddie stammered. "Except the only thing there is to agree on. You can't always get what you want, right? Isn't that the way the song goes? Rolling Stones? We're trying to make a deal to find a way to make the best of either situation, but neither of us is gonna be fully happy in any scenario. I learn to love myself and what? The girl I love doesn't love me either, so what's the point? You get the girl you want, but you need to live with the fact that she doesn't love you.
"But could you live with yourself day in and day out if she looked at you with love in her eyes and didn't see you for who you truly were? If she believed you were someone else. Could you live with that Steve? Could you live with Nancy Wheeler screaming out my name as you make love to her?"
Robin and the kids all started groaning and making gagging noises at the last sentence, but Eddie knew he hit a nerve in Steve as he had the decency to look a little sad.
"Don't you see I love her, but she doesn't love me. And she never will. So if I had to choose, no...I don't want to be Steve Harrington anymore, I want to be Eddie Munson again, because even if she never loved me, I wouldn't have to be face to face with the fact that she loved someone else, every day, for the rest of my life."
Eddie finished his shouting and his shoulders heaved with his labored breath, and as he realized what he just said, he turned on his heel to get to the door.
He didn't want to run away from this, but he felt like he had no choice but to run. This had been a mistake. He should have left as soon as he realized that Wayne wasn't sick. Back to the Harrington's where he could suffer in silence until he was ready to face the reality of being stuck in Steve's body.
"Eddie, wait!" Steve shouted and jumped across the living room to stop him, as Eddie's hand turned the knob. "You can't just lea--"
Eddie was about to turn and start yelling at Steve--he couldn't tell him what he could and couldn't do--but as the door to the trailer swung open, both he and Steve realized that someone was there.
You were standing on the other side and they didn't know how much you had heard.
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It really was the longest Sunday at work that you had ever faced. Each minute was an eternity, and each break that you had went by too fast. You sat by the kitchen door to call home, and Benny would watch you with a critical eye as you asked your mother if there were any messages for you--there weren't.
Your mom knew there was something wrong by the tone of your voice...but she knew your breaks were precious and not to take them up with her questions.
"I'll be home a little late tonight," you warned her.
"You ok?" she asked.
"Yeah...just...going over by Steve's for a little, I think."
"Ok Honey. Have fun. Tell him I said hi."
But you wouldn't...at least...you thought you wouldn't as you drove your car towards Forest Hills Trailer park after work so you could talk to Eddie.
Imagine your surprise as you pulled up to the trailer with the obvious green and white van out front...only to also find Steve's burgundy BMW parked next to it.
Fear gripped you, and you debated...well, you debated just leaving. Cut your losses and run, because they had to be in there...obviously talking about you.
But looking further past the two vehicles you saw a handful of bicycles leant against the side of the trailer.
So maybe it would be safe...if they were having a Hellfire meeting or something.
You parked your car and slapped your face, gave yourself the pep talk of the century.
He's in there and Eddie's also in there and their friends. And you're gonna walk up there and act completely normal, say that you came by to see Eddie but...oh, Steve what a surprise, you were trying to call him but he must have been here all day.
Yeah that was it. Perfect. You just had to get out of the car and say it.
The air was thick with the sludge of your nervousness, and its viscosity grabbed and pulled at you with each step toward the door you took.
You could hear the voices even before you got to the door, the variations in the timber of Steve and Eddie's voices vibrated through the wooden walls and vinyl siding. And it wasn't until you pulled open the storm door to knock that you really heard what they said.
"The girl I love doesn't love me either, so what's the point? You get the girl you want, but you need to live with the fact that she doesn't love you." The sound of Steve's voice made your heart plummet.
Nancy. They had to be talking about Nancy. He still loved her.
No wonder he was so quick to run when you said his name. He pretended you were Nancy all the way up until then.
"But could you live with yourself day in and day out," Steve continued. "If she looked at you with love in her eyes and didn't see you for who you truly were? If she believed you were someone else. Could you live with that Steve?"
Wait...Steve? But...but that was Steve who was talking. What...what was happening.
You kept listening and as Steve kept talking, as you heard other voices chime in to try and stop him, and as he got louder and closer, you got more and more confused,
"So if I had to choose, no...I don't want to be Steve Harrington anymore, I want to be Eddie Munson again." Again. "Because even if she never loved me, I wouldn't have to be face to face with the fact that she loved someone else, every day, for the rest of my life."
"Eddie, wait!" And that was Eddie's voice.
Eddie called Steve...Eddie, just like he did that day way back when...the day he showed up at Family Video. The day that you had that date with Steve, when he changed your mind about breaking up with him.
And Steve was claiming...that he didn't want to be Steve anymore...that he wanted to be Eddie again. But if he wanted to be Eddie again...that meant he had to be Eddie at some point in the past...right?
Time slowed down and you got dizzy as you tried to make heads or tails of it all.
The dates and the kisses and the cologne and the chewing gum.
All of the times that you wished you knew what it was like to be with Eddie, when you were held so tenderly in Steve's arms.
The music and the declarations and the...the Nancy of it all.
You had thought vaguely last night that it almost seemed like they had traded places...but that was impossible.
"You're not...what I expected Steve Harrington to be like," you muttered. "You're so much better."
"Of course I'm better, it's because I'm..." He faltered for a moment.
It's because Steve was Ed--
The door to the trailer swung open and you stood in wide-eyed shock as you came face to face with Steve and Eddie.
Or...Eddie and Steve.
"Honey," they muttered simultaneously and you couldn't help the step you took back, the way your foot faltered on the steps of the small porch. You tumbled down the few steps and caught yourself on your hands, only for them and your knees to get ripped up by the gravel of the drive.
"Shit!"
"Is she ok?"
Two sets of footsteps came thundering down the porch steps and hands grasped at your arms to get you back to your feet.
"Honey, look at me, are you ok?" Steve--Eddie--cupped your face in his hands and turned you to him. He looked down at your hands and winced at the scratches. "Shit, we need to clean you up."
Meanwhile Eddie--Steve--talked over him.
"What did you hear? How much? You can't say anything, you can't tell anybody. They wouldn't believe you. They'd think you're nuts."
"Good job Harrington, can't you see she's hurt."
"She heard everything, Munson. God. We need to be proactive about this."
"Guys!" A voice came from the trailer door and you looked over to see Robin and a bunch of Steve's...Eddie's...someone's freshman friends standing behind her. Both of the boys continued bickering back and forth until Robin yelled again. "Shut the fuck up!"
Everything went silent except for the ringing in your ears.
You did the only thing you could do...
Your thoughts went a mile a minute as you revisited the epiphany you just had. And you couldn't believe how much sense it made. That it was Steve who touched you and kissed you and loved you. But underneath it all was Eddie.
...you turned on your heel and ran.
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Eddie's heart clenched as you pushed his hands away from you, and you ran.
Well...ran was a generous term. You hobbled and skipped, the deep scratches and cuts on your skinned knees prevented you from gaining the speed you probably wanted. And it was all he could do not to go after you.
You heard. How much of it? Everything? How long had you been out there? You had to know now. You'd never look at him again.
It hurt, cut him so deep that it practically stopped his heart in his chest.
He knew that this was inevitable, had come to this conclusion that he would lose you...shit before he even had you. Everything in between then and now would just be a beautiful memory that he could take with him for the rest of his days.
"Well aren't you gonna go after her?" Robin called from her place at the door.
Eddie looked over at Steve, who looked right back at him.
"She means you," they said in tandem.
"Me?" Steve exclaimed. "Why me?"
"That's your girlfriend," Eddie said, as though it was the most obvious thing on earth.
"No," Steve laughed. "That's your girlfriend. And on top of that, you love her, so you need to fix this."
Eddie was speechless as Steve went and sat on one of the steps. He fished a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his vest and lit one up. Eddie rolled his eyes and looked back up at Robin and the kids.
"Go!" They all yelled at him. Eddie scrambled and started in the direction you ran, shaking his head softly as he heard them all turn on Steve with an "are you an idiot?"
He knew the way you ran. This was his home turf, even if he hadn't been here for a few weeks. He would always know this worn, dirt footpath that led to the gazebo out beyond the last trailer in the park. There used to be a jungle gym and swings out there...he had sat on those swings for hours after he heard news of his mom's death.
It was a good place to cry.
And Eddie half-expected you to be there crying, especially as he saw you, perched up on the bench with your face in your hands.
"Honey?" Your shoulders went rigid as he spoke, and he stopped in his tracks. "Hey it's me. Are you...ok? Can we talk?"
"Me who?" you asked softly, the fragility in your tone enough to make him pause. "Please...I need an answer, who am I talking to? Steve? Or Eddie?"
"Eddie," he said, clearly and confidently, knowing that this was it.
Your shoulders started shaking and he could hear vague whimpers coming from you. He couldn't hold himself back, he shuffled over to you, stood directly in front of you with his hands on your shoulders as you cried.
"I'm sorry," he began. The words flooded his mind: apologies, excuses, declarations of his emotions. He could barely contain one leak before another sprung. "I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I kept it a secret. It's just that it was so...unbelievable, so impossible, that I knew there was no way I could tell you without you thinking I was crazy.
"And before I knew it, it was too late, and we were dating. I was dating you for Steve but I was also...I was dating you for me because I've...I've had this stupid crush on you for years. Can you believe it? Years! And I never...I never thought I was good enough for you. But I was so...so angry because Steve wasn't good enough for you either. He's an idiot. Imagine my surprise, my luck the day I woke up and I was Steve...and I got to take you out on some date and finally...finally get to show you how much I cared. How I felt...
"But it wasn't right to have lied to you. To...to touch you and kiss you when you didn't know it was me. We all kept it a secret. Me, Steve, the kids, Robin. We all could have come clean at any time, but we figured we could fix it before then and now...now we might be stuck this way forever so please, please, I need...
"I don't need anything actually. There's nothing I can do to make this right. I can't ask anything of you, except to listen to me and believe that I never meant to hurt you throughout any of this. There were no tricks, no...well I guess there were lies. But I never pretended to care for you. Everything I said and did...it was real. And I don't blame you if you hate me, or if you never want to see me again, I just need to know...I need to know that you're alright.
"So please Honey," he ran his thumbs soothingly back and forth over your shoulders. "Please look at me and tell me...tell me you're at least ok and if you want me to leave you alone, I'll leave you alone forever. Just please. I need to know you're ok."
Your shoulders kept shaking and although Eddie's heart practically disintegrated in his chest, he felt...lighter. Something had shifted. Everything was out there, the truth. He didn't have to hide from you anymore, pretend that he was something he wasn't. All that was left was for you to tell him to fuck off...
When you peeled your hands away from your face and looked at him, though, you had tears of laughter in your eyes and a manic smile on your face.
"You..." you hiccuped through a giggle. "You're...you're Eddie Munson and you love me?"
"What?" he asked in disbelief, not entirely sure that he heard you right.
"You...you're Eddie Munson," you poked a finger into his chest. "In Steve Harrington's body."
"Yes."
"And you, Eddie Munson, love me?" you questioned. Eddie froze and you continued. "Don't act like I didn't hear....everything you said. You said...you said...you loved me but I would never love you back. But..."
You grabbed onto the front of his shirt and shook him, wincing as the rough fabric scraped against your torn up palms.
"I told Eddie...I told Steve...that I had a crush on you, Eddie Munson," you shook him and looked up into his eyes with a smile. You had...a crush on him and you told...Steve? "And he just said--"
"When?" Eddie interrupted you.
"In High school."
"No, when did you tell Steve?"
"Uh...last week? I don't...the...the night you came in with Corroded Coffin," you closed your eyes and shook your head. "And Steve...you...I'm sorry, it's really confusing."
"I know, imagine how I feel," Eddie chuckled.
"I told 'Eddie' that I had a crush on him in high school," you explained. "I told him and he acted like it wasn't anything to blink at. Like he didn't even remember I existed. And I felt so crazy, so hurt, that I went home and I tore up my diary because I never even thought you...that he...that..."
You rambled about thinking about him and smelling his cologne, noticing his chewing gum, and thinking about him when you kissed Steve--when you kissed him--and Eddie felt all the pain that he had, all the insecurity he had for the past 24 hours, melt away.
All the light in the universe--the burning of an infinity of stars--couldn't compare to the way his heart was shining right at that moment.
You didn't want Steve. You wanted Eddie.
"...and you ran away and I thought...but you..."
Eddie didn't let you finish your thoughts, he smashed his lips to yours and kissed you with bruising intensity.
The way he felt outdid any high he'd ever had.
He kissed you until you both needed air, then dropped little pecks around your face until you directed him back to your lips.
"You love me," you muttered against his lips.
"I love you," he nodded.
And then you said the one thing that he had wished to hear come from your lips for weeks, months, years.
"I love you too."
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As soon as Eddie was out of sight, Robin and the kids were on top of Steve, yelling at him and swatting at him.
"Are you kidding me?" Robin shrieked.
"What?" Steve howled.
"You need to go after them too," Dustin tried to reason with him. "She's hurt and she's crying. This entire thing is a disaster."
"She's not my girlfriend! OW!" Robin had slugged him hard in the shoulder. First a black eye now a bruised shoulder. Great. "Ok, why do I need to go?"
"Because whether or not she's your girlfriend, you and Eddie both dragged her into this mess. So you both need to explain it to her," Will explained.
Steve sighed.
"Fine," he grumbled and threw the cigarette to the ground.
As he followed after you and Eddie, he sighed and wondered how this was all gonna play out. Why you hadn't just gotten into your car and driven away if you knew the truth. If you thought they were insane.
You could have made a fortune, told the newspaper.
If you told the newspaper though...that meant Nancy would find out eventually.
Nancy...
Steve reflected on everything that Eddie had said. He knew, now, that it was all in the context of you. That Eddie loved you...
So then why didn't he say anything? Steve...would have understood...or tried to at the very least. Right? And what Eddie had said made some sense to Steve.
"Could you live with yourself day in and day out if she looked at you with love in her eyes and didn't see you for who you truly were?"
But who was he? He was just...Steve. He could talk about his parents and his time at Hawkins High...all the sports he played and friends he made. Nancy hadn't wanted Steve anymore, hadn't wanted that life.
But was that even his life anymore? He had less now than he had before. His parents were broken, their family in shambles. His friends had left him and laughed at him. Hell, even the admissions essay Nancy had helped him write once upon a time hadn't gotten him into a college; he just...worked at family video.
What could he offer her as Steve? Shit, did he even have anything to offer himself?
"If she believed you were someone else. Could you live with that Steve?"
What did Eddie have though? He had a band and friends and carefree fun.
But Steve learned over the last few weeks that it wasn't as carefree as he thought.
Shit, even Eddie living his life wasn't as carefree as one would assume. What could Eddie give to Nancy? What could Steve as Eddie give to Nancy? Yeah he enjoyed nights out with Corroded Coffin but...he didn't even play his own guitar. Eddie did. And he was enjoying Hellfire Club but...well, the kids and Eddie really helped him with the DM role. Maybe he would like it better if he was one of the players instead of the leader of the whole show.
What the hell was Steve? But no one? Would anyone even care if he was gone?
But he loved Robin, she was his best friend. And he loved the kids as though they were his own siblings. They all had done so much for Eddie...and for him the last few weeks. They put themselves at risk of being accused of...witchcraft and hysteria...they subjected themselves to his and Eddie's anger when they were at each other's throats.
They had plenty of opportunity to leave them both behind--to leave Steve behind--but they didn't.
"Could you live with Nancy Wheeler screaming out my name as you make love to her?"
Make Love. Love. That was really all Steve had to give Nancy anymore. And all he really wanted in return. Could he be happy knowing that she loved someone else and not him? Not Steve Harrington?
Fuck, she was doing that now with Jonathan Byers.
Steve saw you and Eddie huddled together at the gazebo, and as he got closer he heard what Eddie said to you. He felt those desperate words floating in the air.
"...But I never pretended to care for you. Everything I said and did...it was real. And I don't blame you if you hate me, or if you never want to see me again, I just need to know...I need to know that you're alright. So please Honey. Please look at me and tell me...tell me you're at least ok and if you want me to leave you alone, I'll leave you alone forever. Just please. I need to know."
Steve...froze in his tracks, and it was like a lightbulb switched on.
For as much as Eddie had just declared his love for you back at the trailer. He was willing to let it all go, let you go, as long as you were alright.
Eddie had done all of this, had caused this entire fiasco...because...because he thought that nobody loved him--because you didn't love him--just like Steve struggled to find people in his life who loved him. And Eddie was willing to walk away without love, so long as you were ok.
Steve thought about Nancy and Jonathan. About how happy they were...how they were alright, and making plans for the future together. More than Steve had ever really done with Nancy. He had his plans and she hers. He had his father's expectation to live up to and she had...ambition.
As much as it hurt...Steve knew...weedled and pushed deep down inside of his being that Nancy would never have been happy with him as she was with Jonathan. And sure...it hurt to see them together but...her smile. Her happiness. It still warmed his heart.
Because he loved her. He always would.
Steve watched as the two of you rambled and laughed and verbally tousled back and forth and he felt...lighter somehow. More awake and aware than he had been for weeks.
He didn't feel so stuck.
Selfless love.
Huh...so that's what it was.
Steve would have gotten closer, would have helped explain the situation to Eddie, but he knew Eddie had it under control.
Because despite their troubles and differences, despite all the shit that they had been through...something new was forming between Eddie and Steve. Friendship was a kind of love, and Steve wouldn't go and stick his foot in it to save his own face.
Steve turned on his heel and walked back to the trailer. Maybe not with...a new head on his shoulders, but definitely a new perspective.
Selfless love.
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Steve woke up feeling...like he was sleeping on a cloud...although there was a heavy weight on his chest and his arm felt numb.
Was this Heaven? Was he dead? Had the stress of the past few weeks finally killed him?
He had returned to the trailer, to Robin and the kids, the night before, and shortly after, you and Eddie had trailed in after them looking...happier than you had been when you'd run off. Steve had been glad, if a little confused.
He'd put two and two together when he caught a glimpse of a soft kiss Eddie had pecked on your lips when you left...and he felt...embarassed for a second. To think that Eddie would have kept you warm for him for as long as you were in each other's bodies.
Man, maybe I am a douchebag.
The group of you had gone over plans to help Steve and Eddie achieve some self love, to help them get back in their bodies.
But now...well, if Steve was dead there was really no way that he was going to be able to enact those plans were there?
He briefly wondered, as he opened his eyes to a brilliant bright light, if Eddie would be able to get back into his body if he had died. Or if he would be stuck as Steve Harrington forever.
Steve blinked the cobwebs out of his eyes and frowned at the sight before him.
Plaid-papered walls and matching curtains that were thrown open and letting in all the early morning sunlight. A too soft bed that he had missed and you tucked into his side with the weight of you numbing his shoulder and his arm.
Huh? This didn't make any sense.
You groaned beside him and nuzzled your face into his shoulder. You muttered a quiet "guh morning Eddie" and scrunched up your face as you opened one bleary eye.
"Eddie?" he asked. And then it hit him. "Eddie!"
Steve jumped and pushed you off of him. He got to his feet and started running his hands over his body. Fluffy hair, toned chest, stubbly arms--ok so Eddie hadn't been shaving like he promised.
"What's wrong?" you asked, confused. "Is everything ok?"
"It's...it's me, I'm back!" Steve exclaimed. "I'm back!"
"Back?"
"It's me, it's Steve," he cheered and knelt on the bed. He grabbed your hand and pressed it into his hair, as though touching it would convince you somehow.
"What do you mean? I..." Recognition sparked in your eyes and you pushed him away from you. "If you're...does that mean he..." You scrambled to your feet, shoved your shoes on, and ran out of his bedroom.
Steve could hear a commotion outside the room between you and his mom, then the front door of the house squeaked open and slammed shut. Before long, his mom poked her head inside his room and tutted disapprovingly.
"Did that girl stay here all night Steven?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not the girl from the answering machine is it? I can't believe you--"
"Mom!" Steve stopped her and crossed the space between them. He looked down at her, truly for the first time in his life, and spoke clearly for the first time too. "You're so full of shit."
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Eddie stirred awake and felt at peace.
Truly everything was working out in his favor.
He had a plan to get back in his own body, he had you, he had...something sharp digging into his shoulder, what the fuck?
He groaned and rubbed his hands over his face, his fingers dug into his eyes and as he pulled them back...strands of hair came away with them. Long, tangled strands...unfamiliar...but familiar all the same.
But Steve didn't have...
Eddie really looked at his hands then, at the ring-clad fingers and the tattooed skin. His familiar bats and his puppet master that he had gotten last summer. He turned his head and saw the glowing red lights of his shitty K-mart alarm clock.
6:45
The screech of tires and a spray of gravel outside really made him aware of the world around him. The room was still somewhat dark... but bright sunlight shone in from the makeshift curtain. He stared at band posters and the Corroded Coffin banner he made back in 9th grade, and slowly the recognition set in.
He was home.
He was home, he was home, he was home. He pushed the hair out of his face and looked at his arms, his body, his bed. He pulled the half-worn copy of Lord of the Rings out from under his pillow where it was sort of jutting into his shoulder and he kissed it.
"I'm Eddie Munson," he spoke out loud in his voice. He tried to lower the register, achieve his DM voice. "Eddie Munson."
There was a knock on a frantic door somewhere.
Wayne. No wait, it was still too early to be Wayne. He wouldn't be home until 8 when Eddie was already at school.
More recognition hit him.
"Fuck I have to go to scho--"
"Eddie I swear to god, if you don't open this door right now," your voice was faint, shouted from somewhere outside.
You. Your voice. He had fallen asleep beside you in Steve's bed...and now he was in his bed, in his body, and you were outside his door.
He kicked the blankets off of him, wincing as he saw that he was only in his boxers--thank fuck he was getting sick of tighty whiteys--and ran out to the door.
He stared at the living room, at the remnants of everyone being here the night before. Tidier than he would have left it, but Steve had promised to clean up. He vaguely wondered what else Steve had cleaned during his stay at Casa Munson.
"Eddie!"
"Shit," Eddie cursed and threw the door open, fully intent on being suave with his greeting, since he was back in his body. This would be his first chance to charm you as himself, after all. But as soon as you had your eyes on him, you threw your arms around his neck and planted a kiss right on his lips.
It was an entirely different sensation, kissing you as himself and not as Steve. You tasted...pretty much the same...maybe a little different. Tangier. Maybe a little...earthy but it wasn't even 7am yet and he doubted you brushed your teeth at Steve's.
Shit he hadn't brushed his teeth yet either.
But his nerves were immediately alight in a way that they never really got when he was Steve. And his blood rushed to mutually desired places much faster than it had in Steve's body too.
That was going to be weird, going through life comparing things to Steve again...in a different way. But...
"You're too busy thinking," you pulled away and smiled. "And not busy kissing me."
"Sorry Sweetheart," he chuckled. "Mystical body swapping does a whole lot on the mind. I got distracted."
"I'll forgive you," you pecked down his cheek to his neck and bit playfully. "Just this once."
"Your teeth feel sharper like this," Eddie noted aloud.
"It's because I'm biting you harder," you grinned against his skin. "Because I know you like me now so I'm not afraid to mess up."
"Not distracted thinking of someone else now either," he offered and felt you tense in his arms. The confidence in him faltered. "I'm sorry, Honey, I didn't mean--"
"No it's..." you pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. There was a glee there, one he hadn't expected to see. "I don't know. I guess it's all been wild and unexpected and 24 hours ago...I thought I was gonna lose...you forever...and now I have you."
"You have me," Eddie promised. "For as long as you want me."
"Never gonna stop."
"No?" he asked in a tease. "Not even if I...swapped bodies with old Ted Wheeler or something."
"Uh..." you wrinkled your nose and glared at him. "Eddie I don't know if you're intentionally killing the mood here but...I mean if you're trying to ask me if I would fuck Mr. Wheeler even if he was actually you, the answer is a hard no."
"But you'd fuck me?" he asked smugly.
"I'm sincerely trying to," you laughed. "I don't think you were this chatty as Steve."
"I am pretty talkative. Don't worry, I have other uses for my mouth, but first things first, I need your clothes off Honey."
He ushered you back to his room and his fingers pinched and plucked at your work uniform as you went. You still had it on from your shift the day before, and it was now wrinkled from sleep, and Eddie vaguely wondered how comfortable it was, but you eagerly pulled it off you as you set foot into his room and he slammed the door shut behind him.
"Not sure how clean the sheets are," he stepped close to you and cupped your face in his hands.
"It's ok."
"But I'm gonna take care of you Honey."
"As long as you don't run away again."
"I won't. I promise." He took your hand in his and pressed it against the bulge in his boxers, groaning at the spark of tension and pleasure. This was what he had been missing, the pleasure he felt in his own body, so familar and long-since-felt. "Feel how hard I am for you? Feel how much I love you?"
"You love me?" You asked.
"Are you always gonna ask if I love you?"
"I just gotta check. Make sure you didn't change your mind...or that...I don't know...that Steve didn't jump back into your body or something."
"Oh," he pushed you down onto his mattress and slid between your legs. He ground himself against you, the friction of your underwear making you both hiss in want. "I'll make you forget all about Steve Harrington by the time I'm done with you. You'll only remember my name."
He didn't play games, didn't waste time luxuriating in the details of you, when all he wanted was to take you to paradise again and again, and follow you, as quickly as possible.
Also because even if he did skip class with you today, his uncle would be home soon and he did not want this to be the way the two of you met.
He kissed down the length of your body and rid you of your underwear. He inhaled the heady scent of you, put his tongue on you the way he had on Saturday, and noted again that the taste of you was different. Better.
He could feel you holding back and he looked up at you smugly, resting his chin on the crest of your sex.
"What did I tell you? I want to hear you," he teased, and inched his fingers along the inside of your thighs. "You're beautiful you know...your pussy's so pretty. I didn't get to tell you that the other day. All of you, you're so...gorgeous and I can't believe you're all mine."
"Yeah?"
"You're all mine right?" He asked, kissing back down as his fingers spread your lips and he teased your clit with his middle finger. You whined. "Louder honey, you're all mine right."
"Yes." He sunk his fingers into you and he laved at you, lapping up whatever you gave him. The complex, sweet taste exploded on his tongue, and he pressed in further, further, crooked his fingers till you were panting. "Eddie."
He smirked and backed away slightly, looked up at you with hooded eyes. "Say it again. Give me what I want and I'll give you what you want."
"E-Eddie," you keened.
"Again," he sped up and started shifting against the bed, as he chased his own pleasure. "One more. I'll get you there sweetheart. I'll get you there you just have to ask."
"Eddie please!" He stroked with skilled fingers and used his thumb to rub your clit firmly. He watched as you came. Awed in the beauty of you as you twitched and leaked, luxuriated in the flutter of your cunt around his fingers, and basked in the crescendo of your moans.
All while he rutted quickly and wildly against the bed. He wasn't gonna last--he'd barely touched himself in Steve's body, and he knew Steve wasn't doing any routine upkeep in his--and before long his release spilled as he grunted and groaned. He couldn't help himself, he bit into the plush of your thigh, enough to earn another high pitched whine from you.
You both panted and came down from your highs. He'd kissed back up your body to your mouth, letting you take the affection that you needed with your arms wrapped around his neck and your fingers threaded through his hair. He felt a tingle in his spine as your nails scratched against his scalp, and he knew it was a promise of more to come later, but he knew he needed to clean you up now.
He whispered sweet apologies as he left your side to get a washcloth from the bathroom, and then he cleaned you up first--paying close attention to the scrapes on your hands and knees, then the mix of his spit and your release between your legs. Then he took care of himself, slightly embarrassed as he rid himself of his stained boxers and revealed his rapidly softening cock to your curious gaze.
"Shit," he laughed and looked down himself and then back up into your eyes, so filled with affection. "You know something?"
"What?" you grinned at him, clearly feeding off his joy.
"Steve definitely has a weirder dick than me." You covered your face in your hands and cackled.
"I hate you!" you shouted, voice muffled.
"Noooo," he quickly flopped on the bed and pulled you to him. He peeled your hands back from your face and pressed a kiss to your lips. "You love me.
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June 1986
This was it.
Eddie had never been so nervous in his life. Not the first time he performed with Corroded Coffin, or the first time he was the DM for Hellfire, not even the first time he kissed you.
This was the minute that his future would finally begin.
"Edward Munson," Principal Higgins' voice echoed across the football field. Eddie climbed the makeshift stage accompanied by a mix of cheers and applause (and boos from the douchebag jocks who had made his life miserable for the past 6 years).
He shook Higgins' hand and took his diploma, smiling nicely for the photographer that had set up right at the edge of the stage, and when he got a mischievous look on his face, Higgins sighed.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you Eddie," he warned.
"Come on, it's not like you can fail me now!" Eddie snarked and tucked the diploma under his arm, before flashing double birds at the older man. The sounds of the crowd grew louder--parents outraged, students amused--and as Eddie turned to extend the gesture to the crowd, he saw his little audience get to their feet and cheer harder.
Wayne who shook his head, forever amused at his boy's antics. Rick who, quite frankly, looked high as a kite. Gareth and Dave and Jeff's parents, who were there for him and Jeff. Steve and Dustin and Lucas--who had cheered for Robin, Jonathan, now for Eddie, and soon enough for Nancy. Will and Mike were with their families, but Eddie could still see them clapping enthusiastically.
And front and center, next to Wayne with the brightest smile and the loudest cheers, was you.
It was still weird, even after months of getting to be with you as Eddie instead of as Steve. Not bad weird. Better weird.
This was a moment he never imagined he would get to experience. Graduating high school, getting to know you and love you the way you did.
It still felt surreal, but as he ran off the stage amidst hooting and hollering of his classmates and the audience, he knew it was where he was meant to be.
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Hours later, Eddie was surrounded by friends, family, and classmates in the Wheeler's backyard, celebrating the momentous occasion of high school graduation.
Wayne chatted with Ted Wheeler and Thomas Harrington, who had in fact offered Wayne a job at the dealership. Their kids newfound and unexpected friendship was a chance to actually talk with one another and Tom quickly realized that his new acquaintance was actually a skilled mechanic. While it took a little convincing on Eddie's part for Wayne to actually take the job, Wayne was actually grateful that it paid a little more and offered better hours than the plant.
Eddie's eyes narrowed as he watched Tom rub his ring finger nervously, the missing wedding ring obvious and awkward, especially amongst a big crowd like this. But no one dared say anything about the divorce or the fact that Mary had been seen around town with Mayor Kline. They didn't even ask Steve how his mother was doing. Everyone welcomed the Harringtons, glad they could make it to the celebration.
Guests milled about, the kids all chased each other around with water balloons, and too many overcooked hamburgers and hot dogs were consumed.
Eddie had his arm around you as you chatted with Nancy and Jonathan about plans for the future. You and Nancy had become fast friends, especially after Eddie returned back to his body and actually took advantage of Nancy's tutoring sessions.
There had been a moment, early on after the swap back into their own bodies, that Nancy had commented on the fact that you were dating Eddie...when she thought you had just been seeing Steve for weeks.
"I'm just worried about him," she confided in Eddie. "We didn't break up on the best terms. He'll always be my friend."
"I think he'll be ok," Eddie assured her. "The two of them are just friends. He doesn't have that many of those in Hawkins. You know, she convinced him to sign up for classes at the Tri County College in the fall?"
"No way," Nancy exclaimed. "I thought he was just gonna be stuck at Family Video for the rest of his life."
Eddie chuckled in recollection, remembering Nancy's disgusted face.
No, Steve wouldn't be stuck in Family Video forever, because Eddie had recently take a job there as an assistant manager to kill the extra time he had now that school was over and supplement that money from the additional gigs Corroded Coffin had earned over the summer.
It wasn't a record deal or a tour...just some local carnivals and fests...but it was a start.
And of course, there was you. With your unending affection and support and bright, shining personality. The you he got to know between high school and his...foray into Steve Harrington-ness only bloomed further under the gentle attentions of him and his love.
You told him things that you had never told him as Steve. You confided in him about your worries for the future, about your struggle balancing school and work, about your ideas and insecurities. And he did the same with you. It was a mutually fulfilling relationship, and one that was full of trust.
And the sex was one of the highpoint of his entire life so far. Not even his Warlock ranked quite as high on the list.
"Hey Eddie!" Dustin called to him and Eddie turned only to get hit in the face and doused with water from a rogue water balloon. He ran a hand over his eyes and did a dog-like shake to get the water from his hair. He glared at Dustin and Steve, who had thrown the precision shot and laughed heartily at his expense.
Douchebag.
Eddie sighed and looked around the party, at friends and family, at the kids, and you, and finally at Steve, who nodded in amicable understanding.
If he never saw Steve Harrington again...what would Eddie do? They'd experienced one of the...weirdest of things they'd ever experience in their lives. And it was something that inexplicably tied them together.
They were friends now.
Who'd have thought.
But, Stranger Things could've happened.
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Thank you for reading. <3
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kellykidd · 8 months
Text
Baby Severide - Chapter 2: Good Genes
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*Gif belongs to its rightful owner, it is not mine*
Pairing: Kelly Severide x reader
Summary: You and Kelly finally get to tell 51 the news
Words: 946
Warnings: medical terms, hospitals, still not great writing, Kelly Severide being sensitive (who knew he could do that)
Read on Ao3 here
Next Chapter: Chapter 3
Notes: I really love where this is going tbh. Anyone who reblogs any chapters of the fic will now be tagged in the remaining chapters to make sure they can come back and keep reading if they so choose (this includes those who have reblogged chapter 1)
Tags: @district447 @keabbs @storiesofsvu @marvelcharactersxreader @carnationworld @witchywinchester99
——
Holding your hand as you walked up the driveway, Kelly kissed your forehead.
“Ready for this?” He asked.
“The 51 love? Always,” you laughed. 
Sylvie and Matt were the first to greet the two of you. 
“You’re glowing!” Sylvie exclaimed, “how much longer until we get to meet this little one?”
“Well, that’s why we’re here,” Kelly started. 
“The doctor is worried that the baby is too big and may cause some risk to the baby. We’ve scheduled a c-section for Saturday morning at 11:30,” you announced, excited.
“That’s amazing!” Sylvie smiled.
“You ready for this?” Matt asked Kelly.
“Yeah, I’m ready. She’s gonna do great,” he replied, “I’ve got to go talk to Boden about extending my furlough though.”
“He’s between meetings right now. Now is your best bet to talk to him.”
“Come with me, I want some opinions on my replacement.”
Matt followed Kelly into Boden’s office. 
“Mind if I have a listen?” Sylvie asked.
“Go ahead, Doctor said she’s got a strong heartbeat. Been kicking like crazy too,” you laughed.
Grabbing your hand, Sylvie led you to the back of 61.
“Two days away, huh?” Sylvie asked, grabbing the stethoscope from the jump bag.
“Yeah, the timeline was a bit of a shock, but more time Kelly and I can spend with the baby together, so I’ll take it,” you smiled, rubbing your belly. 
Sylvie put the earpieces in her ears and brought the chest piece up to your belly. 
“Magical, isn’t it?” You giggled. 
“She’s so strong. Maybe she’ll be a firefighter like her daddy,” Sylvie laughed. 
“With a family like 51, she’d kick ass at it for sure.”
“Should we go see the boys?”
“Make sure Kelly isn’t trying to get back on shift today,” you laughed.
“Here I’ll help you up,” Sylvie offered, reaching out her hand. 
As she helped you back on your own two feet, you started to feel a little woozy and Sylvie could tell.
“Hey, you okay?” She asked, gripping your forearm.
“Yeah I’m fine, just a little head rush.”
“You should sit down.”
“No no I’m okay, really Sylvie. Thank you. Let’s go see Kelly and Matt.”
“Okay, but I’m gonna bring the stethoscope just in case.”
“Fine by me,” you smiled.
Walking over to Boden’s office, you saw Kelly with a few tears on his face through the window. 
Sylvie knocked on the door and you followed her inside. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
“Nothing baby, I’m okay,” he replied, wrapping his arms around you. 
As you used your thumbs to wipe the tears from his face, more streamed along behind them. His mouth with a slight smile. 
“What did you do with my husband?” You asked, looking at Matt and Wallace.
“He was talking about the baby and how happy he is to be becoming a dad,” Matt laughed.
Boden, Matt and Sylvie quietly left the room as you cupped Kelly’s face in your hands.
“Baby I love you and I love this little girl so much,” he laughed, wiping the tears from his face. 
“I love you too babe. I didn’t know you felt thi-“
Kelly caught you off guard with a passionate kiss.
“Let’s get you home,” he smiled.
——
“Can you believe we get to meet our daughter tomorrow?” You asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“You ready?” Kelly asked, packing the rest of his things for the hospital. 
“As soon as we finish packing for the baby. Then, yes,” you laughed.
“You pick out the outfits for her and I’ll pack the rest. You need sleep baby.”
“I’ll be fine. I don’t want to forget anything.”
“Five more minutes then I’m tucking you into bed. We’re having a baby tomorrow, baby,” he smiled. 
——
Kelly dropped you off out front and went over to the lot to park. You found yourself a bench to sit on while waiting for your husband. An older man was sat down beside you a moment later.
“What are you here for, young lady?” He asked.
“A c-section. My baby is too big so I’ve got to have surgery. You?” 
“Bad heart. Getting a new valve today.”
“That’s exciting, why aren’t you in there?”
“Could say the same for you.”
“I guess that’s true,” you laughed.
“Truth is, they’re putting a pig valve in me. I’m going to be 1/200th part pig by the end of the day. That don’t sit right with me. My son already doesn’t talk to me, why would he talk to me when I’m part pig?” He grumbled.
“I’ll tell you what. Once they do my surgery and say I’m all good, I’ll come by to see you, let you meet the baby.”
“You’d do that for an old guy like me?”
“Hell yeah I would. What’s your name? I’ll have one of my nurses look you up.”
“Aaron Whitley.”
You saw Kelly parking the car and walking towards the hospital.
“Looks like I’ll have to let you go. My husband is walking up,” you laughed.
“With a good looking husband like that, I’d leave me too,” he chuckled, “he looks really strong, what does he do for work?”
“He’s a rescue squad lieutenant with the CFD.”
“Good genes.”
“I guess so,” you smiled.
Kelly walked over with your bag.
“Kelly, this is Aaron. He’s having surgery too today,” you announced.
“Nice to meet you Aaron. I’d love to get to know you, but I’ve got to get her upstairs,” he replied, “thanks for taking good care of her, Aaron.”
“I’ll see you soon,” you smiled.
Kelly shook his hand and you waved behind you as you walked in the front doors to the hospital. Today was the day.
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🪢 You’re nothing more than our little plaything now, got it? 🪢
✎ Pairing: sexy ass!Bang Chan x intense!Lee Know x cocky!Han Jisung x fem!reader
✎ Genre: Smut (maybe fic?)
✎ Summary: Three mysterious men want to use you as a human pocket pussy for the night. Why the hell not?
✎ CW: ❗️Consensual nonconsent, a little blood❗️foursome, drinking, degradation, hand job, blow job, rough sex, face fucking, fingering, public fingering, general crassness
✎ Word count: 4,930
✩ A/N: I maaayyyy keep this one going as a chaptered fic?? Idk though. Lmk what you think! ✩
❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥
Click
One handcuff latches around the bedpost. Its closely-linked twin is already snug around your right wrist.
Click, click
The man on your left encloses the bedpost first, then your wrist. You watch his skilled fingers work with bated breath.
“Comfortable?” the cocky blonde with the cute cheeks asks before shooting you a sly smile.
The dark-haired one scoffs.
“Like it matters,” he answers for you. “This isn’t about her comfort, is it now?”
“Quit bickering, you two,” says the third man — the amber-eyed, honey-tongued one. “We’re on the same team, here, yeah?”
The other two nod.
“Good. Now, grab her legs.”
They do as they’re told, pushing your ankles down into the bed. The leader unzips his jeans, pulls down his boxers, and slowly strokes his cock.
He hungrily examines your naked body, mapping out a course of action. You take the opportunity to study him, too, and deduce two things almost immediately:
1. His dick is probably the biggest you’ve ever seen, let alone taken.
2. That devilish grin on his face makes you nervous.
In one swift motion, he maneuvers the garments around his muscular legs and drops them to the ground. He crawls onto the bed, barking out one more order to his friends.
“Don’t let her go… even if she screams for help.”
Fuck, what did you get yourself into?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It didn’t take much to convince you at the time. Hot stranger approaches at the bar, buys you a drink. You chat, you flirt, you dance, you kiss. He asks if you wanna get out of here, of course you say yes. It was a typical pickup story — until it wasn’t.
You were already under his spell by the time he shared information about his friends: the brooder and the showboat. He pointed to a dimly lit corner where the two men watched you intently from afar, but you recognized those faces.
They had been hovering before. A hand on the small of your back as one walked past, eye contact held for just a second too long over your suitor’s shoulder. The three of them circled you like sharks, and you didn’t even notice.
But they were good dudes, he guaranteed it. Just some friends as close as brothers who wanted to try something, someone. Together.
You’d had a threesome before, so what’s one more? But not like that exactly, he clarified. Yes, four people, but more like 3 vs. 1. As in they can freely pinch and poke and prod, while you’re pinched and poked and prodded.
It could have been the alcohol or how his lips moved when he spoke in that Australian accent or the way the flecks of gold and copper and bronze swirled around his pupils, but you said yes.
Were you 100% sure? No, but why not? He said they’d give you a safe word and had absolutely no intention of hurting you (unless you wanted them to), but it could — and likely would — get rough. Fuck it, sure.
The first time you spoke to the other two was outside, and it was nothing more than simple hellos. Not even names. That was another part of the deal: anonymity. No personal details, no phone numbers, no emotional mess to deal with in the morning.
You stood on the sidewalk with the two strangers while the one who convinced you to do this tried to hail a cab. Eyes shamelessly traveled up and down each others’ bodies while you waited.
The blonde with the cute face and deep brown eyes stood — chest puffed out — next to the dark brown-haired one. His irises were darker than the blonde’s, and his energy much more intense. Arms crossed tightly across his chest, he squinted at you from the moment you said hello until the yellow car finally pulled up. Welp, here goes nothing.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The cheeky blonde slides in first, and the quiet one gestures for you to go next. Whether he was being chivalrous or just wanted a sneak peek under your skirt as you maneuvered into the car wasn’t clear. Either way, he got his wish.
Blondie waited only for the inside lights to dim before placing a hand on your knee. He slowly drags his fingertips up your thigh, zigging and zagging more toward the inside, then the outside. He pauses when he touches the hem of your skirt, then retraces his steps back down to your knee. His motions repeat, but his path inches closer and closer to your inner thigh each time.
The mysterious one on your right hungrily stares down at your legs and cracks his knuckles, and the Aussie glances in the rear-view mirror every now and then to monitor their actions and gauge your reaction. He keeps smirking — showing off those dreamy dimples that hooked you in the first place — and shaking his head at the eagerness of his friend.
Eventually, there’s no more accessible flesh for the bold one to traverse. His path has led him to the line where your thighs meet, and they’re pressed together firmly. You see this scenario playing out in one of two ways, but the man you can’t quite pin down surprises you with option number 3.
His hand lands on your leg with a loud clap, and he forces his way between your thighs. The two of them pry your legs apart and run their digits up and down the sensitive skin, putting your panties on full display for the driver.
Tingles immediately shoot up your spine. They inch closer and closer to your crotch, but never actually reach it. Fingertips always stop right at the edge of your panties before traveling back toward your knees, but you can’t help but hope that each time would be different… and they’d finally…
“We’re here.”
Your eyes shoot back open; you hadn’t even realized they closed. The cabbie is paid in cash, and the men open and exit through their respective doors. They gather on the sidewalk, holding out hands to help you to your feet.
You mumble a thanks and stride behind them to the entrance. They open double doors for you and lead the way to the elevators. The blonde presses the button and stands watch, glancing back and forth between the two numbers to guess like he’s trying to guess which would arrive first.
The other two stand at your sides. The quiet one extends his arm to brush knuckles against your hip, and the Aussie places an open palm on your lower back and quietly hums a tune you haven’t heard before.
Ding
“Ha! I called it!” the blonde exclaims, clenching his fist in a tiny celebration of winning whatever game he played in his head.
The left elevator’s doors open, and you file in, the hand on your back guiding you to the rear of the car. Once you turn to face the front, his long fingers curl around your waist and pull you into his body. In another context, this may have been comforting. But the quiet one surprises you again and slips a hand under your skirt — heading right for your crotch this time.
He applies pressure to get a feel for you over your underwear. Then his middle finger curls up, pushing in just enough to make you squirm before returning to its initial position. Your breath quickens right when the elevator stops and the doors slide open once again.
An older couple walks in, exchanging smiles with your group. The hand at your waist squeezes tightly, and you smile, too. But the hand on your pussy doesn’t leave. If anything, he pushes into you deeper. You try to angle your hips away from him, but his lips go to your ear.
“Stay still,” he breathes. “You’re nothing more than our little plaything now, got it?”
Your toes curl into the soles of your shoes. It’s the only thing you can think to do that won’t make what’s happening so incredibly obvious. And everyone’s still smiling, but are they just being polite? You don’t know and you don’t care. You just want him to stop teasing and push through the silk entirely.
The elevator finally comes to a stop, and the couple steps off. Before the doors meet again, the one who started it all spins into you, his arm still tightly wrapped around your waist.
You’re chest to chest for the second time tonight. Without sweat and alcohol overwhelming your nose, you can finally inhale the vanilla and citrus of his cologne. His pull is just as intoxicating as it was at the bar, and you think you may be about to kiss him when he slams his free hand into the wall next to your head and leers down at you.
“Here’s how this is gonna go, yeah?” he growls. “We make the rules. We tell you to shut up? You shut up. We tell you to spread your legs? You spread ‘em. We tell you to come? You come. Got it?”
You nod.
“Good. Safe word is… uh…”
“Onion!” the blonde blurts out.
Dimples furrows his brow and shoots his friend a confused glance before turning his attention back to you.
“Sure, whatever, onion. You good with that?” he asks in that sexy accent.
“She better be,” the quiet one says from the corner while staring intently at your thighs.
Dimples and the blonde exchange smirks just as you reach the top floor and the doors open again. The Aussie keeps one arm tight around your waist and guides you down the hall.
The other two skip ahead, giggling about something unspoken. It’s like the dark-haired one is two different people. His emotionless eyes glare at you one second, and he’s beaming at the blonde in the next. They reach the room first, and he quickly snaps back into intimidation mode the second his eyes meet yours.
“Welcome to our playground…” the blonde says after you pass through the doorway.
It’s a typical hotel room: bathroom by the door, dresser below the tv, desk by the window, couch in the corner. But the bed sandwiched between nightstands sticks out the most. There’s only one, and four of you.
“Interesting…” you muse, slowly making your way to the couch.
“What’s that?” the dark-haired one asks.
“Yeah, what’s interesting?” blondie jumps in.
“Just… one bed,” you explain. “Guess we won’t be spending the night?”
“What makes you think that?” the Aussie challenges from across the room. He just finished moving the do not disturb sign to the other side of the door and attaching the chain. Now, he’s leaning against the wall, thick arms crossed over his chest.
Something about him keeps rendering you speechless. Whatever witty comment that was brewing in your mind is long gone, so you just plop down on the couch and stare at the bed.
“I think you broke her, hyung,” the blonde giggles and throws his body on the mattress. He’s enjoying the puzzled look on your face a little too much.
“So, who gets first go?” the quiet one asks from his position in the far corner.
Blondie is the first to offer his thoughts.
“He did most of the work so far, so I vote Ch-”
“SHHHHHH!” “Shut the fuck up!”
The other two cut him off almost in unison, but it’s a little too late. Ch-something. Noted.
“You’re a fucking idiot, but I agree,” Ch-something says, pushing off the wall and striding across the room toward you. He moves quickly, and he’s staring down at you again in mere seconds. “Stand up.”
You do as he asks, maintaining eye contact while you push up off the couch. Those beautiful eyes are a little cloudier now, and the sweet swirl from earlier looks more like a brewing thunderstorm.
He runs his fingers along the line where your top meets your skin. He drags his hands down your torso, feeling the lace on the bustier.
“Spin.”
You do as you’re told, and his hands get to work undoing the hooks along your spine.
“The second I saw you in this, I pictured what it would be like to take it off,” he admits. “Of course, there was a lot more ripping involved in my imagination.”
Your walls clench at the thought of someone like him wanting to rip your clothes off at first sight.
“But this is such a pretty top…” Ch-something continues. “And it would be a shame if we sent you home fucked and bruised and topless, too.”
One hand traces the exposed section of your spine before meeting the other and resuming their task.
“We’re nice boys, yeah? Just want you well-loved,” he says and presses his torso to your back, his silky lips to your ear. “And well-laid.”
The top releases its hold on your lower back and awkwardly hangs on your body. His big hands slide under the lace, around your waist, and up to your breasts. After a few squeezes, he slides the straps off your shoulders, and the top falls to the floor.
“I get first go, yeah?” he calls out to the others.
They echo in agreement from across the room. The Aussie circles your body before plopping down on the couch in front of you. He spreads his legs slightly and reaches for your hips.
“Come ’ere,” he commands, pulling you into his lap.
You straddle him and slide down onto his thighs, but not close enough, apparently. His hands firmly grip your ass and pull you into him. You can feel his hard cock press into your crotch while he wraps those big lips around one nipple.
He licks and nips and sucks at you, and you start to roll your hips into his lap. He gently guides you with palms on your ass, and for a minute you forget you’re not the only ones in the room. He has this way of making you dizzy with the warmth of his mouth and his hands and his chest and his...
“Ay, that’s enough,” one of the others says from behind you. “You’ll have plenty of time to mark her up later.”
Someone grabs your hair from behind and snaps your head back. Before you can register who it is, their lips are on yours and their nose presses into your chin. Hands go to your neck, alternating between caressing the skin and squeezing. Someone else is fiddling with your nipples, and Ch-whatever’s hands are still gripping your ass.
Whoever’s tongue it is forces its way into your mouth and flicks at your tongue, and both nipples are engulfed in wet warmth. A hand reaches under your skirt and pushes your silk panties to the side to stick a finger inside you. Then two. Then three.
The man above you squeezes your neck harder, and someone else rubs your lower stomach. There are arms and hands and mouths everywhere like some sick game of Twister.
One mouth leaves, then another, then the last. You can finally open your eyes and see thick eyelashes and dark hair above you. The quiet one is smiling down at you and stroking your cheek, making this the first time he looks at you endearingly. And, of course, it’s when he’s gripping your neck.
“Quit being soft, man,” the blonde says. He stands and grips your bicep to pull you up, too. Then his hand moves to your shoulder and pushes down.
“On your knees.”
You drop to the floor and stare up at him with wide eyes. From this angle, his tiny waist seems so small compared to his broad shoulders. His cock twitches in his pants, and you reach up to free it, but he smacks your hand away.
“I didn’t say you could touch me, slut,” he barks. “Keep your hands at your sides and open your fucking mouth.”
Your jaw drops and your tongue slides out over your bottom lip. The lean blonde unzips his pants, pulls out his thick cock and strokes it inches away from your face.
“You want this?” he asks, running its head back and forth over the tip of your tongue. “Want me to fuck your pretty mouth?”
You just stare up at him. He’s made it clear that it doesn’t matter what you think, so maybe not acknowledging his questions is what will really get him going.
And it works. His lips turn down in a scowl, and he roughly grips your hair and thrusts in hard, hitting the back of your throat right when his balls slap into your chin.
“Oh, that’s it,” he moans, picking up the pace. “Attagirl.”
You can’t see the other two, but you hear another zipper. Then your arm is lifted, and your hand is placed on another big, veiny cock. A quick glance to your right confirms it’s the dark-haired one, and his eyes tell you to stroke.
The way your head is bobbing back and forth makes it hard to concentrate on the movements of your hand, but you do your best. You keep waiting for Ch-something to join, but he just watches.
“I want her mouth now,” the dark-haired one says. “Why don’t you do the honors and get those panties off?”
Ch-something speaks up from the couch.
“Naur, her cunt is mine. Fuck her tits, they’re amazing.”
“Oh, shit, yeah. Good call,” the blonde replies between deep breaths. “Let’s get her on the bed.”
They pull out of your grip and easily lift you, a pair of hands under your arms and another under your knees. They drop you on the bed on your back, and the quiet one straddles your head with his thick thighs. He positions himself to enter your mouth and checks behind him to see if his friend has enough room to work.
“I’m good,” the blonde assures, straddling your waist and squeezing your breasts together. He slides his dick between them just as the other presses into your mouth.
The quiet one stares at the wall as he thrusts, and you’re kind of grateful. Other than that one sweet moment, his gaze has been severe. You’re not sure how you’d react if he looks at you like that again, but part of you wants to find out.
You reach for his hips and grip gently, seeing if that can initiate eye contact. Nope, his head just falls back instead, and the blonde takes a second to ruffle his hair.
“I know, her mouth is fantastic,” he says before sharing a warning. “Save yourself, though, it’s gonna be a long night.”
“Yeah… I know…” he pants in reply, squeezing your head between his strong legs. “This is just… so… good…”
“You know…” Ch-something speaks up again, “I have an idea.”
“What’s that, hyung?” the blonde asks, still sliding his hips forward and back on your chest.
A bag is tossed onto the bed, and something metallic clangs inside. But you’re distracted by the man opening the duffel and the way his T-shirt hugs his biceps while he rummages through it. You can’t wait for him to use you like his friends are.
“These…” he says, holding up something he pulled from the bag, “should be fun.”
You can’t see what’s in his hand, but the way the other two are giggling probably means it’s something exciting — for them at least.
“Fuck yeah, Chan, good looking out,” the blonde cheers, and the other two freeze.
“Dude, really??”
The nameless ones climb off of you and meet Chan at the foot of the bed. You prop yourself up on your elbows to watch as they talk amongst themselves. Chan hands something to each of them, then places his hands on the bed when they go their separate ways.
“So, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Chan announces. “They’re gonna tie you up, and I’m gonna have my way with you.”
He reaches for your skirt and pulls at the zipper, loosening the waistband enough to slide it over your ass and down your legs. He presses his hand flat on the front of your panties, curling his fingers up and over the elastic at the top. He pushes his palm down into your folds, but he leaves the silk be. For now.
“Your body is mine,” he whispers into the skin just above your panty line.
The others have reached the top of the bed at this point, and Chan releases his hold on you. You’re pulled further up the bed and your arms extended so they can handcuff you to the bed posts.
The blonde checks to see if you’re comfortable, the dark-haired one doesn’t care, and Chan is annoyed by them both. The three men meet again at the foot of the bed, hungrily staring down at you.
Chan instructs them to hold your legs while he takes off his boxers and jeans. His large, throbbing cock scares the hell of out of you, but truly in the best possible way.
He crawls onto the bed and kneels between your spread-out legs. His fingertips tease the skin on your inner thighs, then your stomach, then your chest. He positions his hands on either side of your head and hovers above you.
“Don’t let her go… even if she screams for help,” he commands his friends before leaning down to press his lips to your neck. He speaks again, but his next words are for you alone.
“At least you know what name to scream now.”
He parts your lips with his tongue and dips in to explore the familiar landscape of your mouth. You probably spent more time kissing than speaking at the bar, now that you think of it, and that certainly worked in his favor when it came time to convince you to leave with them. He knows exactly what he’s doing with those plump lips.
His mouth goes to your neck next, and he sucks and bites your skin with every intention of leaving marks. He does the same on your chest, then your breasts, then your stomach — quick, painful bites followed by wet suction.
Forgetting your hands are useless to you now, you lightly pull at the headboard. The chain links jingle as you fight against them, but it’s pointless. You can’t push him away or pull him closer. You can only lie there and watch.
He glances up at you with those lustful eyes and a twisted grin, like he loves watching you squirm. He lowers himself to your crotch and runs the silk of your underwear between his fingers.
“These are cute, huh boys?” he calls out, and the others agree. “I wonder how they’ll look in pieces.”
“No-” you start, but Chan interrupts.
“No? I’m sorry, did you say no?” he thunders. “Shut her mouth.”
The blonde releases his hold on your leg and walks to the head of the bed. He closes his big hand over your lips, pushing your head down into the pillow and smugly staring at you with dark eyes.
“Better,” Chan says. “Now, where was I?”
He grips the top of your panties with both hands and pulls… but nothing happens. You giggle into the palm over your mouth. But he pulls harder and glares up at you, holding your gaze as the silk rips almost all the way down the front.
“Not so funny now, eh?” he quips, and the others smirk.
He adjusts his hold on the material and pulls again, tearing it the rest of the way. Four fingers roughly cram into you and curl up and down rapidly.
Your one free leg pulls up toward your chest, and Chan catches it with his idle hand and lifts it over his shoulder. He reaches back for the other and pinches your thigh as he hoists that one up, too.
He pulls his soaked fingers out and slides them in his mouth to taste you. Staring into your eyes, he spits on his hand, rubs it on his cock, and forces himself inside your cunt.
As expected, he’s too big. Your walls stretch around him, barely able to endure his width, and he fills you to the brim length-wise with inches to spare. Regardless of the strain he certainly feels, he doesn’t give you time to adjust. He closes his strong arms over your legs, pressing your skin to his as he pounds his cock into you over and over. You’re afraid something will rip with every thrust.
Your chest rises and falls quickly, and the other two can’t look away from your bouncing breasts. The blonde bites the inside of his cheek as he flicks one nipple and calls his friend over to join. They’re twisting and tweaking the sensitive nubs and there’s nothing you can do. Except…
“Ow! You bitch!”
The blonde lifts his hand from your mouth and slaps you across your cheek.
“She fucking bit me!” he yells.
Chan doesn’t seem to care; he keeps driving in and out of you at the same unrelenting pace. But the other two have rage in their eyes.
“You wanna play rough? We can play rough, sweetheart,” the formerly quiet one says.
He lowers his head to your chest and bites down hard — almost cruelly — on the skin of your breast. He pulls back to examine his work and appears unsatisfied. He goes in for another, and this time, he draws blood.
“Fuck you! What the fuck!” you cry out.
“Dude…” the blonde whispers.
“What?! She doesn’t get to bite you and…” the dark-haired one argues.
“No, I mean… that’s so hot,” his friend clarifies.
It’s the blonde’s turn, and he goes straight for your nipple. He closes his teeth roughly, though not as hard as the bite before, and you whine in pain again.
“Pieces of shit!” you yell. “Get the fuck off of me!”
“Yeah, get off her,” Chan pants. “I have more work to do here if you’re making her scream before I do.”
He releases his hold on your legs and grabs your hips, inclining your lower body up and off the bed. His first thrust at this new angle makes you shudder, and he knows he’s got you now.
He sinks into you again, and you can’t hold back the loud, breathy moan that escapes your lips. Your wrists are starting to feel raw from the handcuffs, and your chest is sore and bruised from all three of them.
You’re in so much pain, but drowning in pleasure, too. The hot tears on your cheeks could be from either or neither or both. Who fucking knows.
“That’s it, baby,” Chan moans. “Cry for me, scream my name.”
“Fuck… Chan,” you whine, getting closer and closer to your climax.
A triumphant smile on his face, Chan nods at the others to return to their positions. They each take a nipple in their mouths, sucking more gently this time — though their gentle is still enough to slurp up a whole drink in one go.
Chan’s thrusts are growing weaker and weaker now, his power draining. He presses a thumb down into your clit hoping it will finish the job.
“Oh my FUCKING… fuck… Chan… CHAN… I… aahh-”
You’re coming on his cock with a force that makes his head spin, and he can’t help but finish deep inside you, too.
There are moans all around — two in ecstasy, two in disappointment. The onlookers detach their lips from your chest and sit on the sides of the bed while the two of you ride out your orgasms.
“Are you fucking serious, Chan?” the blonde asks incredulously and throws his hands up. “You said we were gonna all get a turn before she was spent.”
The dark-haired one keeps his mouth shut, opting to cross his arms over his chest and brood silently once again instead.
Chan pulls out and topples down next to you on the bed. He’s turned to face you, but your eyes are trained on the light fixture above the bed, watching the way the bulb flickers and sparkles. Or is that just in your head?
“Don’t worry boys,” Chan speaks up. “We have all night, and she’s tight as fuck.”
“Yeah, but now you two are gonna nap and we’re still hard,” the blonde whimpers. His face looks so cute when he pouts.
“Then take a nap with us, or suck each other off, whatever,” Chan lazily replies.
The two glance at each other with raised brows, and there’s some other undertone there too. But you’re too lightheaded to care.
Their voices blur together as the room darkens, but you can feel a firm thigh and thick arm lay across your body. Whether you’re being cuddled or trapped isn’t important right now, and you let yourself drift off.
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violetsiren90 · 10 months
Text
All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader
💜 Chapter 2 💜
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Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)
Pairing: idol!Namjoon x f!Reader
Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured
Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?
Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment and medical industries; MC is diagnosed with asthma and experiences symptoms; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate first touch & subsequent skinship; partial disrobing for medical purposes; medical setting and minor treatments; some social awkwardness; talk of food, eating, and alcohol consumption in the context of a soulmate AU
Author's Note: Chapter 2 is here! I tried my best to write Namjoon's response under the circumstances, but honestly I don't know how well it was executed. Let me know what you think in the comments/asks! I'm super open to constructive criticism and feedback. Also, I did my best with the Korean phrases and medical jargon. If anyone has more extensive knowledge on those subjects and wants to fact-check, please let me know!
P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!
P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜
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"At night I dream that you and I are two plants that grew together, roots entwined, and that you know the earth and the rain like my mouth, since we are made of earth and rain.”
~ Pablo Neruda
Chapter 2: Touching Me, Touching You
    When you touched down at Incheon International Airport, you and Matt were greeted by a rather unnecessarily large party of Hybe personnel in black plainclothes wearing masks who snatched up your baggage and ushered you into the first of a small fleet of black SUV's. The member of the legal advisory team who had visited you in the states, Choi Kang Dae, was riding shotgun and speaking into a cell phone that had not left his ear since departing the baggage claim. In the row behind you was another man you assumed to be a translator, given his fluency in English, but who was currently chopping it up with Matt in Korean, and beside him a large, serious, silent man whose eyes kept traveling to you every now and again. You assumed that meant that the rest of the ensemble filling the vehicles behind you were security, which somehow made you feel less rather than more at ease.
The further you advanced in traffic through the busy streets of Seoul, the more anxious you became. A thousand questions began to flood your brain as your heart began to hammer in your chest. If all these people had come to meet you, were you headed to the hospital now? Weren't you supposed stop at your accommodations first? If you didn't, would you even have a chance to shower a day's worth of airport off before meeting your soulmate? Were you about to bond right now? Would people be watching? Would it hurt? Why hadn't you ever thought of these things before? You felt a familiar tightness in your chest and pulled out your inhaler. An asthma attack right now? They always seemed to strike at the most inopportune times.
Matt was suddenly turning to you.
    "Hey, you okay?" he asked, looking at the inhaler you were shaking for a second puff.
You slowly exhaled and nodded.
    "I'm fine. But where are we going right now, can you ask them?"
The translator asked the Kang Dae something in Korean, and after he responded, the other man turned to you.
    "We're going to the hospital. Namjoon-ssi had a seizure last night due to a prolonged high-grade fever, so we are trying to act as quickly as possible to avoid further complications."
Matt turned to the translator.
    "This should have been the first thing we heard when we stepped off that plane. I'm not trying to play hardball here, but we're going to have to be communicated with about every step of this process so we can decide how we're going to respond. This was in the contract, communication and a chance to speak with me before she makes any step in this process..."
Matt slipped in and out of English as the attorney apologetically reassured him through the translator of their full intent to follow the contractual specifications. You felt sick, and your heart continued to hammer - though now for different reasons. You had been worried about a shower while he was fighting for his life. This was no time for nerves. You had to fight for his life too.
    When the vehicle pulled into the ambulance bay, you and Matt were handed surgical masks and ushered, with security and other Hybe personnel in tow, through the ICU and into a massive steel elevator. You watched the round button number "5" light up red as Kang Dae pushed it with a gloved hand. After the brief assent, the doors opened into a space that looked like it was straight out of a Star Trek episode - floor to ceiling white, blinding fluorescent lights, and hospital workers covered from head to toe in sterile garments ebbing and flowing in urgent silence to and fro to the rhythmic serenading hums and beeps of medical equipment. You blinked in the offending brightness.
Your party was immediately approached by a small woman with a tablet and stylus who addressed Kang Dae. You heard your name mentioned. You heard Matt's. After a brief exchange with the Hybe attorney, Matt relayed that you were going to meet with Namjoon's oncologist. Kang Dae turned to address the security staff, and his words were met with nods and murmurs of acknowledgment except by the tall, serious man from the SUV, who responded to the attorney in a low but firm tone, his eyes flashing over to you as he spoke. You looked over to Matt, your brow creased in question. He watched as Kang Dae concluded the exchange and lead your now small group of four to follow the petite woman down a long, wide hall. As you walked, Matt leaned down to whisper in your ear.
    "It appears the indignant gentleman is your personal bodyguard. Seems he's reluctant to stay behind with the rest of security."
You glanced in surprised curiosity over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of the guard seated beside the rest of the team, elbows propped on his knees and hands clasped under his chin, a pensive expression on his rugged features, before he disappeared from view as you rounded a bend.
    The hall connected to a labyrinth of others, snaking off left and right, and punctuated with massive, heavy doors. Your guide abruptly swung left to face one of the entrees, flashing a badge card across a sensor which beeped, allowing her to push it inward. It opened into a suite of rooms much homier than the atmosphere behind you, though every bit as sterile.
In the vestibule was a small acrylic table surrounded by matching chairs. As you passed through you noted to the right, a small kitchenette, and to the left a rather large bathroom. At the end of the suite, you shuffled into a large room, separated on the far left end by a curtain. The space in which you stood was fitted with grey leather furniture, a tall bamboo plant in the corner, and a low acrylic coffee-table. An older, distinguished looking man in a white jacket stood from where he had been seated in one of the arm chairs and bowed. Your group bowed in return, and the translator asked that you be seated.
Dr. Na, as the man in the coat was introduced, would run through some last matters with you before you were to meet your soulmate. He relayed through the translator that this hospital was state of the art, Korea's finest, and a frontrunner in successful experimental treatments for cancer and other genetic diseases. The room you were occupying, he said, was a suite meant for long-term inpatient care, and would be nearly identical to the space you would share with Namjoon for the remainder of his inpatient treatment. He explained that Namjoon's condition has been detected far later than was desirable, and that treatments had included invasive surgery and aggressive rounds of chemotherapy, which had slowed, but not stopped the spread of tumors throughout his body. He said that Namjoon had displayed extreme physical and emotional resilience, but that his will to fight the disease overtaking his body had begun to wane with his strength and increasingly burdensome symptoms from both the cancer and its treatment.
At this point, Dr. Na turned to face Matt full on, and earnestly imparted to him while gesticulating at you. Matt's brow furrowed, and he nodded as he listened to the oncologist before turning serious eyes toward you. Kang Dae began to say something, but the doctor held up his hand while also turning his eyes toward you with an expectant gaze. 
    "Y/n," Matt began, interlacing his fingers as he often did when trying to choose his words carefully, "Dr. Na says that there is not a lot of research around treating cancer, especially at such an advanced stage, with the soulmate bond. There are accounts of it having seemingly miraculous effects on injury and illness, but none that have been objectively measured. It has been scientifically proven to a degree that soulmates bring about peak physical conditions in one another through the bond...over time. The thing the good doctor here really wants you to understand is that there is no guarantee that there is enough time in our situation. He says that bonding with him is going to be a major risk. If the treatment isn't successful and Namjoon should pass, that would mean your ultimate death soon after."
Matt's face had lost most of its stoicism. He looked deeply worried. He looked like he wanted you to get on a plane with him back to the States. He looked like he knew what you were going to do instead. You see, you had already thought about it - the possibility of death. You nodded.
     "Tell him I understand, Matt," you said calmly, "Tell him I'd like to meet Namjoon-ssi."
Matt stared at you for a beat, as if debating with himself before turning back to relay your message to Dr. Na. The oncologist nodded, and then turned to you and asked another question in Korean. The translator explained that the doctor wanted to know if you understood the basic implications of the soul-bond. You sighed. You did.  You knew that once bonded you would be reliant on each other for nourishment and survival until the end of your natural lives, and that the bond once established was irreversible. You knew the bond was initiated and maintained through skin-to-skin contact. You knew that the bond changed your body chemistry to no longer need food or water, and that food would eventually be rejected by the body like poison. You knew these things because you had done extensive research, not because anyone in the company asking for you to give over your body and soul had tried to make you aware. They had been interested in matters of signatures and compensation. How considerate of someone to ask you now, you thought with some contempt. You wondered what Namjoon knew, what he had been told, what he had been asked. 
     "I would like to meet my soulmate now," you said suddenly, cutting through the exchange between Dr. Na and Kang Dae.
All eyes turned on you, leaving in half-finished sentences a wake of mild surprise. "I know what I'm getting into on my end of things. You had expressed before that time was of the essence and I would like to be brought to him now."
Matt relayed your response to the group, and the doctor nodded. Soon you were being handed a hospital gown, and a sports bra, underwear, and socks from your suitcase - that you realized with a bit of alarm and indignation, you had not given anyone permission to retrieve - and were instructed to shower and change into these items. 
     You slipped into the bathroom and sank down on the closed toilet, dropping your head onto the little bundle of clothes in your arms.  In your first few moments alone in over twenty-four hours, everything was beginning to hit like a volley of arrows. Agendas, agendas. Hybe wanted your soulmate. The hospital wanted to beat his cancer. You wanted to help him live. But what did he want? Had anyone asked? Would he be honest, if they did? Not for the first time, something squeezed in your chest at the thought of him. But this time, it was stronger. Your head shot up from your lap. You had somewhere to be.
    After a quick and thorough wash-up, you padded into the hall where the little group awaited you. You were self-conscious in your limited attire, and you stood awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the next as people murmured in Korean. A nurse, who had joined the small throng, approached you, slipping a hospital bracelet with your name and Hangul characters and little numbers around your wrist and handing you a pair of grey slippers. Matt turned to you.
    "This is it, kiddo. You're going to go with Dr. Na and have your vitals taken, have some blood drawn, and then you'll go meet him."
Matt sighed deeply, his eyes searching yours. He took a backward glance and stepped just a bit closer, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"You sure about this?"
You nodded.
    "Yes, Matt, I'm sure."
He pulled his mouth in into a tense line, his brows drawing together.
    "That face you're making, that defiance in your eyes," his hand fell from your shoulder, "You could be his twin. I know I can't change your mind now. Nothing could."
You gave a knowing smile. He wasn't wrong. 
    "I'm gonna be okay, Matt. I'll see you tomorrow. Call my mom and tell her things went fine. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Matt scratched the back of his head, regarding you thoughtfully for a moment before nodding. He bent to press a kiss to your forehead, and turned to make his polite goodbyes.
    The nurse ushered you down the hall and into a room that looked a little more like a typical hospital room with a gauze-covered table, a scale, and other vaguely familiar machines and equipment. After she had collected the desired data and taken a vial of your blood, she made a page in Korean, and then motioned for you to follow her. She took you down another series of passages and finally, when you were sure Theseus himself couldn't have found his way back, she stopped in front of a large steel door and scanned her badge.
Room number 594.
The door opened on its heavy hinges, swinging slowly inward. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You realized the moment you crossed the threshold  that you didn't have your things. You didn't have your phone, or your bag, or the book that was inside it, or what was between the pages of the book.
You thought about pear-shaped Italian cheese as you crossed through the kitchen area.
You thought about little Diana trying to stop your mother from crying as she lay on the floor of the kitchen, body shaking with sobs, as you moved into large open room at the end of the suite.
And then, there he was. It was all you could do not to gasp.
    You would never have recognized him for the man in the photo Diana had shoved into your face last week. Sitting propped up in a large hospital bed, he was covered up to the waist in blankets. His frame, though unmistakably large, was gaunt, and his white tee draped around him like something that used to fit - patches and wires visible across his chest through the cotton fabric. His long arms were thinner than they should have been, ashy, and��littered with bruises. His head leaned back against the pillows, he wore a black beanie low on his brow, but not low enough to hide the naked skin where his eyebrows had been. His full lips were chapped and parted as he labored somewhat to breathe. The doctor was speaking to a tall man in a black tee and jeans beside the bed. Namjoon was watching them, until, suddenly, his gaze flicked to you. Your breath caught in your chest. His eyes were unchanged. Something flooded your veins.
    "I need to speak with Namjoon-ssi, please," you said abruptly, turning to the doctor and the man beside him.
They looked at you, quizzically. You cleared your throat to speak again, slower and more firmly.
"Could I be alone with him, for a moment? I need to speak with him before we begin."
The doctor turned to say something to the tall man, but a voice from the hospital bed addressed them in a soft, deep timbre. The tall man glanced at you and then at Namjoon and replied. They held a short exchange before both he and the doctor filed reluctantly out of the room, taking the nurse with them.
Namjoon sat further up in the bed, his face contorting in pain as you approached him. You stood a few feet from where he sat, your hands inexplicably itching to reach out for him. You clasped them behind your back.
    "Hello," he, rasped.
Even the hoarseness couldn't hide the warmth of his voice. You thought his eyes and his voice must be made of the very same stuff. You were suddenly a different kind of nervous. You didn't even register your own initiative to speak as the question came tumbling out.
    "Do you want to live?"
Your soulmate blinked in surprise.
    "What?"
You took a breath and repeated yourself, this time with intention.
    "Do you want to live?" You asked again. "I know there are plenty of people who want you too, but I want to know what you want."
He regarded you in intent silence for a long moment.
    "Yes," he said finally, his cadence thoughtful and deliberate, "Yes, I want to live. I wasn't sure I did, but I do. I do now."
You exhaled a little breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. 
    "Okay, good," you nodded, looking away from his intent gaze as you fought, again, the surging urge to reach for him.
His lips quirked into a little smirk at your reaction.
    "I was going to ask you a question too, but after introductions," those eyes caught yours again, teasingly, and the little smile deepened just a bit, pressing a dimple into his sunken cheek.
The misery he was living in and he was teasing you? You felt something flutter a little in your chest which you willed yourself to ignore.
    "I'm sorry," you bit back a smile, glancing away a bit bashfully, "I just needed to know that you had agency over what was happening here, that it was what you wanted. If no one else was going to give you that choice...well, I was."
He regarded you silently again before addressing you.
    "It's good to meet you, Y/n-ssi. I'm Kim Namjoon."
You couldn't suppress a smirk at his stubbornness, and at the fact that he already knew your name, like you knew his.
    "It's good to meet you, too, Namjoon-ssi," you replied softly.
He suddenly leaned back in the bed, wincing, his chest heaving a bit. You looked over at the heart monitor that beeped beside him to see that his pulse was rising.
    "Should I call in the doctor?" You asked in concern.
He shook his head weakly. 
    "Not yet," he pressed out, with effort. "I...need...to know..."
You stepped closer to hear him.
    "Know what?" He closed his eyes , bringing a hand over his chest as the beeping slowed.
    "You...could...die...trying to..." he broke into a bought of coughs that was obviously painful. Once he had caught his breath, he rasped, "Are you sure, Y/n-ssi?"
    "Yes," you answered without hesitation. "Yes, I'm sure. This is my choice. I'm sure."
He opened his eyes. You held each other in a silent gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something. He didn't. He merely nodded and asked,
    "You ready, then?"
You met his questioning gaze with a wry smile and what you hoped were steady eyes as you answered.
    "Ready as I'll ever be."
    After the staff had returned to the room, the tall man in plainclothes introduced himself as Sejin, Namjoon's manager. He gave you a deep bow, which you returned, thanking you in practiced English for agreeing to bond with the idol - something that made you uncomfortable all the way down to your bones, and which you tried to dismiss without being impolite. The doctor spoke to Namjoon at some length, gesticulating to you several times. Sejin nodded along as the nurse typed notes onto her tablet.
You felt a bit frustrated, being on the outside of what so immediately concerned you. You were on the verge of asking for Matt to be brought in when Namjoon turned to you. 
    "The doctor says that while he understands first touch is an intimate experience, that he and two nurses will need to be present to monitor my vitals. My heart is on the weaker side these days."
He looked almost contrite as he said it and your chest squeezed. You nodded understandingly. He might be your soulmate, but you knew this wasn't a meet-cute. This was clinical. What was about to happen between you was a treatment. The doctor continued, and a nurse came around the bed to where you stood and waited expectantly as Namjoon turned to you, this time with an unmistakably apologetic look on his drawn features.
    "Dr. Na says that if first contact goes smoothly, we'll need to begin treatments aggressively, which means as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. I guess they want us both in just undergarments."
Ah, hence the hospital gown.
You felt heat creep up your neck. Under any other circumstances you would have been upset at the lack of privacy of it all, but these weren't like any circumstances you had ever been prepared to anticipate. You were going to have to figure the boundaries out as you went.
The nurse beside you rolled up a chair for you to sit in beside the bed, facing Namjoon. She untied and tugged the top of your hospital gown down to place a heart monitor on your chest, your soulmate respectfully averting his gaze.
When all the necessary preparations had been made, you found yourself sitting in a swivel chair cranked up to reach the height of the hospital bed, socked feet not touching the ground. You were facing Namjoon, who kept sitting forward, much to the chagrin of the nurses who kept gently but impatiently guiding him back against the pillows. You felt a sick feeling creep into the pit of your stomach as you glanced at the second nurse wheel in a defibrillator. How bad could this possibly be? Would it hurt? You steeled yourself as Namjoon sat forward again, turning up the palm of his large right hand which rested on the covers beside you.
    "It's time," he murmured softly, eyes on you as you gave one more glance to the doctor, who nodded, and giving in to an urge you had kept at bay since you entered the room you slipped your hand into his.
    A jolt shot through your body like an intense electric pulse. It hurt, like relentless aftershocks of overstimulation to sensitive flesh...and yet if felt good. So good. You had instinctively pulled to yank your hand away from the pure surprise of it, but you had tugged yourself back to no avail. You opened your eyes (you hadn't remembered closing them) to see Namjoon, head thrown back against the pillows, lips parted and eyes screwed shut as he clutched your hand in a vice grip. You glanced at the heart monitor spitting out beeps consistent with well over a hundred beats per minute. Was that yours or his? But you couldn't very well hold a coherent thought in your mind as warmth began to flood your body, followed by a tingling sensation that seemed to fizzle up from the base of your spine and trickle down your limbs.
Raising suddenly heavy eyes, you realized that you were swaying a bit on your feet. When did you stand? And you were much, much closer to Namjoon - your hand was curling around the base of his bicep, your elbow in his palm, as you pressed every possible square centimeter of your bare arm to his. His eyes were open now and he was looking at you as his chest rose and fell. You returned his gaze, unfocused, drunk on the sensations spreading through your being.
You blinked as you heard the doctor speak, but neither of you tore your eyes away, and as if in a trace, as the nurses helped you out of your clothes, and you crawled into the bed and slotted yourself against his side, stretching out your right arm to wrap around his torso. Every aspect of the feeling grew impossibly stronger, the pleasure factor so high that it felt somehow wrong to be experiencing this with a total stranger in a hospital room surrounded by others. You felt Namjoon let out a shuddering breath. His arms had snaked around you.
The last thing you remembered before falling into a delirium was the nurse pulling the covers over your bodies.
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    When you awoke, or rather, came to, you felt wrong. You rubbed hazy eyes to find yourself on a little cot. Before you could even wonder where you were or how you got there, the events of the previous day came flooding back.
Holy shit, you thought, you were in Korea. You had met your soulmate - and bonded with him. 
When had you even fallen asleep? The last thing you remembered was climbing into Namjoon's bed. Your heartbeat quickened. First touch had been...something else. An image of your soulmate gripping your hand with his head thrown back flashed through your mind.
No, don't, you thought, and pushed yourself to sit up.
In your attempt to move, you quickly realized that the wrongness you felt was that you were incredibly weak. It was a strange sort of weakness, however, one that left you feeling exhausted with every tiny move but wasn't accompanied by any sort of discomfort. In fact, you felt like you were floating on a cloud, if only one you couldn't find the strength to roll off. 
You were back in your hospital gown. There was a small table to your left with a lamp, a little vase of flowers, and white telephone. To your left was a machine much like the one you had seen beside Namjoon's bed beeping away, a little green line spiking and dropping across the monitor. A long curtain stretched across the space in front of you. You needed to pee.
As you moved to get off the cot, a sting of pain shot through your right arm at the inner joint and you realized that you had missed the IV drip beside the heart monitor. Clamping the IV stand you rose precariously on wobbly legs. You shuffled wearily forward, pulling the curtain back to reveal the other half of the room...and your soulmate.
He was sitting in bed, over the covers, in a heather grey tee and navy blue sweats, bare feet crossed at the ankles. He was still wearing the beanie, and his head was dipped down, immersed in the book he was holding open in his lap. The mid-morning sun spilled through the open window, bathing the suite in a pale yellow that blanketed generic seating furniture and a small bookshelf topped with a bonsai tree and painted clay figurine beside the bed, but left the abstract art piece on the opposite wall in relative shadow.
You were about to retreat back behind the curtain when a wheel of your portable IV stand betrayed you with a squeak. You pulled the curtain hurriedly shut, but too late.
    "Hello?" You heard him call softly.
His voice sounded better, you thought. Not nearly as raspy. You must look like shit, you also thought. Oh well, you needed to get past him to look decent anyway. And to pee. And he was going to see you probably every day for the rest of your life, so, bashfulness regarding your morning mug was definitely a waste of emotional energy. You heaved a sigh, and slowly pulled back the curtain, peeking through as you advanced a step.
    "I didn't want to disturb you," you fibbed, clutching the IV stand.
    "You're not disturbing me," he responded, shutting his book.
He was looking at you with a soft expression, reserved, but still warm. He looked a lot better than yesterday, too; it was unmistakable. His skin had lost a great deal of its previously ashy quality and the bruises on his arms had nearly vanished. His lips were no longer chapped, and, you noted, were full and naturally deep in color. His face looked less wane, though still thin, his shirt still hanging loosely over his chest and broad, sloping shoulders.
    "You look a little better," you urged, hoping to justify your prolonged stare.
He smiled. You were quickly reminded like a sock to the gut how pretty his smile was. 
    "I feel better," he concurred, "Thanks to you."
You looked down at your feet awkwardly. You had never been good at receiving praise or gratitude.
    "Oh...I'm glad," you mumbled. 
    "How do you feel?" he asked.
You raised your gaze back up to meet his, a wry smile tugging at your lips. 
    "Probably about as good as I look," you rejoined.
He pulled his smile into a tight line, eyes creasing. You thought maybe that was what he looked like when he was trying not to laugh. Suddenly you felt your bladder demand priority of attention.
    "Well, I'm gonna...get ready. For the day," you motioned, quickly realizing you had nothing to change into, and slipped back into the little room behind the curtain.
Scanning the space, you noted your suitcase and bag against the wall. You filled your bag with the essentials and a change before popping back out into the other half of the room on your way to the bathroom. You noticed out of the corner of your eye that Namjoon glanced at you before looking down at his book again, and you ignored the tight feeling in your chest one more time.
    Your mom had always said that a hot shower could make a person reborn, and by golly you figured she was right. You felt life seeping back into your limbs slowly but surely as the warm water poured over your body. As always, hot water and steam against white tile oiled cogs of your mind.
Clearly, the bond had served Namjoon well. You were anxious to know what a medical assessment would report. Your own exhaustion confused you, however. Wasn't the bond supposed to nourish you, rejuvenate you? When would you stop needing food? How often would you need to practice skinship now that you were bonded? And what would that look like? A thousand questions filled your mind as you massaged your scalp. You made a mental note to write a list of questions for the doctor.
    Once you had finished your morning routine, you felt infinitely more prepared to face the day. You changed into a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. As you shuffled back toward your room, you noticed Namjoon bent over the bonsai, tiny scissors in hand. A nurse was typing on a tablet on the other side of the bed.
    "Um, Namjoon," you asked, as you paused.
He startled a bit as he looked up at you, dropping the little scissors and cursing under his breath. The nurse peeked over and when she had seemingly assessed that no damage had been done, she smirked.
    "At least no bonsai limbs were lost this time," she murmured.
Namjoon slipped the scissors into a little leather pouch.
    "Hilarious," he deadpanned, then turned his attention back to you, "Sorry, did you ask me something?"
    "Actually," you blinked in surprise, "I was going to ask you to ask the nurse, but I guess I can ask her myself this time."
The nurse smiled at you. 
    "Ganhosanim, this is Y/n-ssi," Namjoon said, addressing the woman. She gave you a bow which you returned.
    "Annyeonghaseyo," she greeted you, "I'm Nurse Cha and I'll be your attending on most days. Please feel free to speak to me in English," she smiled.
You felt a weight lift off your shoulders. While you had been studying Korean furiously ever since your decision had been made, having medical personnel you could communicate with at this stage without having to rely on Namjoon to translate for you was a welcome relief. 
    "If you have a minute, I have some questions? Or, I will, once I write them down. Could I just put my stuff away and come right back?" You asked eagerly. She nodded, still typing away on the tablet. You dropped your bag beside your suitcase, which you tossed on the bed and unzipped to extract a pen and a notebook with three little bees embossed into the cover. You donned your slippers and crossed back over to Namjoon's side. He was sitting on the bed again, and nurse Yun was examining one of his arms. You plopped down in an armchair beside the bookshelf. 
    "Nice bonsai," you remarked, trailing your eyes over the intricate geometric patterns of its shallow stone pot.
    "Nice journal," he replied. "Moleskin?"
You nodded, holding it up to show him the front.
    "It has bees," you said with solemnity, as if the whimsy of the endearing was something to be taken quite seriously, and Namjoon hummed in grave assent. Nurse Cha glanced between you, a smirk at the corner of her mouth.
    "You said you had some questions, Y/n-ssi?" She offered.
    "Yes," you began, scribbling a few down in the pages in your lap before beginning. "Firstly wha- Oh! What happened to me yesterday? Did I pass out?" You interrupted yourself to ask.
    "Yes," she replied. "While the bonding was successful, and the skinship was highly rejuvenating for Namjoon, it appears that you were giving more than you were getting from a physiological standpoint, and while the effect was still probably similar to you on a cellular level, you were disproportionate in your transfer of energy. We've put you on an IV drip for now to ensure you're getting the replenishment your body needs regardless of food intake."
You jotted down a few lines of notes.
    "Okay, makes sense. Now, moving on to the food thing - we're still eating, right?"
Nurse Cha began typing on her tablet as she responded.
    "Yes. However, there is great boidiversity as to when and what people start rejecting as far as food goes. The average point of solid food rejection begins around two weeks after bonding. Generally, bonded individuals are still able to consume water and distilled alcohols, though they become unable to experience taste."
    "Does alcohol have the same...effect?" Namjoon spoke up from the bed.
    "An intensified one, actually," she responded, "Being a bonded mate means rediscovering your tolerance, and caution is of course advised. We've actually taken blood panels to alert us of any food sensitivities you may have. These should be immediately eliminated from your diet, as the rejection symptoms can be more severe in cases of late-stage ingestion with these items. The doctor will be in later to review those results with you."
    "Okay. And how often will we need to practice skinship, and are we going to need to initiate it ourselves or are we going to be on a schedule?"
    "I was wondering about that too," Namjoon said, adjusting his beanie.
    "The doctor will go over that with you as soon as he arrives in a little while as well. I know I'm scheduled to update your charts every six hours, so I'm sure there will be some guidance involved at first."
You quickly glanced up at Namjoon and then down at your lap. A warmth spread through your chest as you tried to keep your eyes on your notes and off of his bare arms. You were having those stupid urges to latch onto him again. Your hand twitched around your pen. You wondered what his thoughts were on your next session.
Just then, Dr. Na entered the room. He greeted both of you warmly and Nurse Cha took over relaying the consultation in English.
The oncologist was very optimistic about the effect of the soulmate bond on Namjoon, saying that his vitals had stabilized, his pain levels were lower than they'd been in weeks and the inflammation in his body had decreased significantly. He stressed that, while these were good signs, they were not a guarantee that the skinship was treating the cancer, and that they would have to take scans after a time to see if the tumors had were in fact shrinking.
He reviewed your blood panel results, letting you know that from that point forward you were to avoid consuming nightshades while communicating to Namjoon that he hadn't tested positive for any food sensitivities. He showed you a chart dictating when and how long you should practice skinship each day, beginning with a session immediately following the consultation. He cautioned you to alert medical staff if during a session you began to feel overly-drain, as they did not want you coming to the point of fainting again. You were removed from your IV drip.
    After the doctor had taken his leave, Nurse Cha fixed you with additional monitors, instructed you both to strip down to your maximum level of comfortability for the session, and departed. Once you were down to bra and panties, you climbed up into the huge hospital bed to join Namjoon, who once again kept his gaze trained anywhere but your side of the bed as you slipped under the covers and pressed yourself into his side.
Suddenly it was as if you had slipped into a warm bath under the influence of champagne. You closed your eyes and sank into the incredible sensation of his touch. His skin was like a warm cup of tea on the coldest day of the year. Like the first refreshing moments of a plunge into cool water at the height of summer. It was everything wonderful all at once, and you were so caught up in the sensation that you were barely cognizant of a tiny moan escaping your lips. 
Horrified, you bit down on your bottom lip and prayed to all that was sacred that Namjoon hadn't noticed. His immediate soft laughter, however, betrayed him, and you felt your face burning with embarrassment - beads of sweat pricking on your forehead as you covered your face with a different kind of groan.
    "Sorry," you murmured, ruefully.
    "Nah, I get it," Namjoon chuckled, his chest rumbling under your cheek. "If it feels as good for you as it does for me, then that's the correct response."
You allowed yourself to giggle a bit in turn.
    "I'm glad it's already helping," you remarked, and you felt him turn his head as if he was looking down at you.
He was silent for a beat before addressing you again.
    "Everything happened so quickly yesterday, I didn't even get a chance to thank you."
    "For what?" you countered, even though you knew exactly where he was headed with this.
    "For leaving your life behind and coming to Korea to give a stranger a chance at his. I'm going to spend the rest of my time making it up to you."
You felt your chest tighten. You pushed yourself up on one arm and turned to face him. The sheet fell down your upper body as you moved, but you were too intent on looking him in the face to notice. 
    "Namjoon, you're not a charity case. I didn't do this so that you would owe me something. This is a choice I made. All mine. So relieve yourself of any debt you may feel you owe me. We're bound by circumstance, but you're a free man in every sense of the word. I won't be a burden you bear any more than you wish to be one to me."
If you had been looking through his eyes, you would have seen yourself, pressed up out of the sheets with all the modesty of a sea nymph, your features glowing with the effects of the bond and fixed with a splendid kind of resoluteness and soft defiance. But, you saw it from your own, taking in the quiet shock on Namjoon's features that slowly morphed into something you couldn't place. Not yet. You didn't know him well enough.
After regarding you blinkingly, he looked at you with earnest eyes and gave a nod.
    "I accept those terms," he assented, and you believed him.
You thought maybe you'd believe anything he said, and, suddenly aware of the bareness of your torso under the intentness of his gaze, you slipped back down against his side.
    "I noticed you dropped the honorifics," he murmured teasingly.
You glanced back up at him.
    "Oh...sorry, I'm not used to it. I can -"
    "It's alright," he interjected, "I think we should be familiar. It will make things easier, right? Only if you want, though," he quickly added.
    "Yeah, no, I agree," you answered, shifting to press your leg more fully against his, and smiling to yourself as you keyed up your next remark.
"And I'm only your noona by a little bit anyway, so no need to call me that..."
This time a loud laugh burst out of him that shook your head enough for you to roll away and shoot him a look as he brushed a hand over his eyes in amusement. You smiled as you took in his dimpled cheeks and crescent eyes, and nearly didn't notice the voice speaking in bemused and startled Korean at the mouth of the hall. It was Namjoon who looked up first.
    "Yah!" He called in indignation and warning as you followed his gaze to catch but a glimpse of two young men, badly repressing snickers as they bolted back down the hall to the entry of the suite. 
Namjoon sighed sharply and turned to you with and apologetic expression.
    "I'm so sorry, those idiots are my friends. They're used to coming and going as they please to visit me - which, obviously now they can't just barge in unannounced."
He slipped out of bed, and you glanced away as he pulled on sweats and a shirt.
"I'll tell them to come back at a better time."
    "No, no!" you protested, "Just let me get decent. I want to meet them."
Namjoon paused as he kicked on his slippers. 
    "You sure?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
    "Yeah, yeah. I know we're still on skinship time, but, maybe we can just...hold hands? I mean, as long as you're okay with it..."
Namjoon's mouth slipped into a wry grin as he glanced down to the other end of the suite. 
    "Yeah, I'm fine with it. I apologize in advance if they can't be."
You gave a confused shrug as Namjoon picked up his phone and crossed into the vestibule area to give you the privacy to change. You pulled your leggings and sweatshirt back on and perched yourself cross-legged on the hospital bed, listening with amused anticipation as Namjoon spoke in exasperated Korean on the other side of the wall. You heard the door and three sets of footsteps accompanied by giggles and shushing, and then your soulmate emerged, all but herding the two young men preceding him into the room.
You immediately recognized the strapping, dark-haired one with the leporine smile as Jungkook, the young man who had accompanied Hybe's representation to visit you on Namjoon's behalf. The other young man you also recognized from internet images as one of the members, though you couldn't recall his name. He was shorter than Jungkook, though not by as much as he should have been due to the significance of his heeled boots. What he lacked in height he made up for in athletic build and voluptuously beautiful facial features. He shook his honey blonde hair out of his eyes, earrings tinkling as he regarded you with a coy smile.
    "Ijjogeun Y/n-ieo. Y/n, this is Jungkook and Jimin," Namjoon said, gesturing to each of the members as they made polite bows. 
    "Annyeonghaseyo," you said, returning their bows deeply, "Mannaseo bangapseumnida - dasi mannaseo bangabseubnida, Jungkook-ssi."
Jungkook flashed a blinding smile, round eyes wide and sparkling.
    "It's good to see you again too, noona," he answered in English. Namjoon's brow creased as he glanced between you and the young man you had been originally introduced to as the maknae of BTS.
    "You've met?" he asked. You nodded.
    "Jungkook was one of the people who came to meet me in the US when your company made the proposition," you explained. "He spoke very, very highly of you. His reference of your character was one of the major contributing factors toward my decision to come."
You smiled softly at Jungkook. Namjoon nodded, brow still drawn, as he pressed his tongue into the side of his cheek, jaw clenched and jutting forward, as he clapped the youngest on the shoulder. You thought Jungkook's eyes were just a bit glassy as the two shared a look that seemed to hold a lifetime of history. Jimin regarded the two with sentimentality before returning his gaze to you, again full of enigmatic mischief. The blonde took a step toward you, then turned on his booted heal, saying something to Namjoon in Korean.
You cocked your head to the side, glancing at your soulmate.
    "He said I look a lot better already," Namjoon said, eyeing Jimin warily as the younger man continued speaking, flashing you a devilish grin. Jungkook pulled his pierced lower lip between his teeth as he glanced between Namjoon and Jimin. You looked again to Namjoon expectantly.
    Awkwardness radiated from him as he deflected saying Jimin was just making fun, and he shot the younger man a look that unmistakably communicated his lack of amusement. Namjoon made another remark in Korean, and joined you back on the bed, hesitating only a moment before he took your hand in his.
You saw his shoulders sag in relief as he breathed a sigh through his nose at the contact. You had to restrain your own reaction, glancing down shyly as to avoid the two pairs of eyes trained in rapt curiosity on you from the end of the bed. Namjoon continued to speak with them, translating between you when your limited Korean wasn't sufficient, and gradually your awkwardness eased in the comfortable presence that emanated between your soulmate and his members.
As the visitors were about to take their leave, Jimin trained you with a newly serious look, leaning against the edge of the bed, and glancing at Namjoon as he spoke in what you could decipher was gratitude. 
    "He says they're all so grateful to you and glad to have you with us," Namjoon translated. You noticed his thumb slide over the back of your hand as he said it. So did Jimin, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he eyed where your digits were intertwined.
    "Ah," you said awkwardly, "No thanks necessary, we're in this together, right?"
You pulled your hand from Namjoon's and in an attempt to raise your arm and give him a nonchalant pat on the back, you backhanded him directly in the face. 
Namjoon's hand flew up to his cheek and the two younger members erupted in laughter. You apologized profusely, trying to make sure Namjoon could hear you over Jungkook's wheezing and Jimin's shrieks of what you were pretty sure was "oh shit, there are two of them". When Namjoon had assured you that he was perfectly fine and the other two had composed themselves, you said your goodbyes. As soon as they were out the door, Namjoon was apologizing.
    "It's fine," you smirked with a shrug, "That's friends for you. I would have been concerned if they hadn't poked a little fun. I like them. I want to meet the rest of them."
Namjoon slipped back up onto the bed and intertwined his hand with yours as he glanced down, a pensive look on his face.
    "There's a lot of people you need to meet," he said quietly, thoughtfully.
You studied him as he continued to look down at your joined hands.
"In fact," he continued, "There was someone I was hoping you could meet tomorrow. Someone we should sit down...and talk with."
You nodded, regarding him intently.
"Her name is Kim Hyung-seo," he continued, "She's my fiancée."
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AN: Yeah, sorry to drop that at the end and peace out. 😁✌
Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25
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rorywritesjunk · 4 months
Text
I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start
Prequel to my Kid Buggy fic, set about 11-ish years before that story.
Buggy meets you by chance when he needs his buttons sewn back onto his jacket. He’s young, up and coming, and he thinks everyone should cower before him wherever he goes, but all you do is smile at him.
Rating: PG-13ish just for some swearing. Warning: Buggy’s in his early 20s. He’s an asshole. He just is because I wanted to write him loud, demanding, everything. A known swordsman makes a brief appearance in this. Buggy is jealous and a bit insecure in this chapter. A/N: I have no idea when Buggy became a Captain, so he’s a fresh faced captain in this. No clue how long this fic will be. Also I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reads, reblogs, and replies on this story. I love everyone of you and it makes my day brighter knowing there are people enjoying this! So thank you thank you thank you! <3
Title comes from “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.
TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @ane5e @kingofthemfingpirates @the-angriest-angel @tiredemomama @valen-yamyam16 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @plethora-of-fickleness @uhnanix Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 + Chapter 16 + Chapter 17 + Chapter 18 + Epilogue
Chapter 7
Buggy woke up to a bucket beside his bed, a glass of water on the nightstand, and a note telling him you were in the kitchen. He was confused as to why you left him a note because he didn’t know why you were there at first. He had fuzzy memories from the previous night: going to the shop, walking back to the ship, a drink, a marriage proposal, sharing his bed-
Oh shit. He fell out of bed, horrified by how he acted towards you. That was the last thing he wanted and he scrambled to find some clothes to put on. He found his shirt from the previous night and threw it on, ignoring the stains and smell of beer coming off it. Maybe you were still on the ship and he could explain everything, unless you left and never wanted to see him again. That was entirely possible.
You were in the kitchen when he came crashing in, eating a banana as you looked at the photos he showed you last night. He froze when he saw them and you looked up with a smile.
“Good morning, Buggy.”
“Where did you get those?!”
“You showed them to me last night.” You chuckled before taking a sip of your tea. “After you asked me to marry you.”
His hand shot off to grab them but you were quicker, moving them out of his way. You then pointed to the floating hand.
“Also, can you explain this?” You asked. “Miss Pins mentioned something about Devil Fruits but I didn't get it. and last night your body… was a part for a moment and it was…interesting to see.”
How were you talking so casually about all this? It was like discussing the weather, you were asking if it was cloudy outside. Others would have been horrified, thinking he was some kind of freak for what his body could do, but you were just eating a banana as you waited for an answer.
“I… have Devil Fruit powers.” He mumbled as he sat himself in a chair across from you. “I ate the Chop Chop fruit, so my body can split apart.” He scratched his head and looked at you. “Well? Aren't you disgusted or scared of me now?”
“Am I supposed to be?” You frowned as you finished your banana. “It's not like you bleed everywhere when it happens, right? If anything it's probably useful. You took your bottle back from me last night when we were walking, which was, admittedly, a little weird, but I had already seen it before. Just after you laid down last night I realized I wanted to ask you.”
“So…you're not disgusted that my body does this?”
“Buggy, I don't find your body disgusting.” You assured him as you sipped your tea. “Okay?”
He blushed and looked away. “Really? Even my nose?”
“I think it's cute.” You smiled. 
“Sh-shut up! Don't lie to me!” He shot back as he glared at you. 
“I'm not, promise.” You assured him as you looked back at the photos. “You were so cute as a kid.”
Buggy sat back in his seat, still glaring at you as you set the pictures down and got up to pour him some tea. Did you really think his nose was cute or were you just saying that? So far you'd never been mean to him, only occasionally teasing him, but he still was wary when it came to his nose. 
When his tea was ready you brought the cup back to him and pushed the plate of fruit over to him. “I figured fruit would be a good post-birthday hangover meal. You need to hydrate.”
He crossed his arms and eyed the plate before looking back at you. “Why are you still here? I figured you would have left.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” You told him as you picked up an apple and cut into it, separating it into slices. “You said stuff about me making you happy if I married you, and… I got worried.”
“I'm fine.” He grumbled as he looked down at his lap. “I was drunk, ignore what I was saying.”
You put the apple slices down on the plate before getting back up to find something with protein for him. He picked up one of the slices and shoved it in his mouth as he turned to watch you. He acted like a damn idiot last night but you stuck around to make sure he was okay. Did you want something from him or did you genuinely care about him? This wasn’t something he was used to or expected, so it was a little hard for him to understand. You found a jar of peanut butter in a cupboard and grabbed it.
“Here, have this.” You opened it, noting that it still seemed edible before finding a spoon to scoop some out for him onto the plate. He watched you suspiciously before he helped himself to the peanut butter. 
“You don't have to stay.” He said with his mouth full of food. “Your boss is gonna come looking for you.”
You shrugged as you sat back down in your chair. “I'll leave in a bit, but only if you walk me back.”
He glanced up at you with a frown, but you said nothing as you grabbed a towel and wiped his face for him. He grumbled and tried to pull away from you but you didn't let him, making sure his face was clean before you sat back down. He glared at you, face flushed as he finished his plate.
“Ignore everything I said last night.” He said again as he looked down at the plate. “I was drunk.”
“So you don't think I'm nice?” You asked with wide eyes, feigning surprise. “Or soft? You don't want to marry me then?”
“I-I do!” He said before slapping his hand over his mouth. You grinned at him and leaned back in your chair. He glared at you. “You're cruel.”
“I thought I was nice.” You teased as you sipped your tea. He crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance as you grinned at him. “Let's finish up, I need to head back. I have a customer returning today and I need to make sure he gets his order.”
He just grumbled as he drank his own tea. You got up and tidied up the kitchen, making sure to wash the dishes and dry them. He watched you as you moved about, enjoying how you already felt comfortable on the ship, that you seemed to know where everything was already in the kitchen. It was a sight he could get used to, he decided, but he didn't know if it was something you'd want.
“Let's head out, okay?” You said with a smile.
Buggy just nodded, but instead of leaving the ship you led him back to his room to put the pictures back while he pulled his boots back on. You found him a clean(er) shirt to wear and held it out to him, turning you back so he could change. He didn't know why, you obviously saw him shirtless (and he had a brief flashback to what he thought was going to happen last night and he momentarily died of embarrassment before straightening back up), but once he was ready he reached to put his bandana back on when you stopped him.
“Can you leave it down?” You asked, your own cheeks pink as you reached out to touch a lock of his hair. “It's um, just so pretty. I’d like to see it.”
He stared at you, wondering if you were teasing him again, but you weren't. A lock of his hair was entwined in your fingers as you ran your thumb over it, and when you realized what you were doing you let go and put your hands behind your back. 
“Sorry.” 
“No, it's…fine.” Buggy said as he tossed the bandana aside. He always put his hair up, finding it to be a nuisance as it got longer. His Devil Fruit made it difficult to get a haircut, it just reattached itself whenever he tried to cut it, so he gave up and let it get long. He didn't think it was a feature someone would care about, like his nose.
You smiled at him, he felt his face heating up and he looked away as he held his arm out to you. When you linked your arm with his he straightened up before he marched out of his room with you on his arm, thinking today would be a good day.
~
When he saw your customer he was horrified by how handsome he was. Dark hair, cheekbones, sharp, yellow eyes. And you were nice, helping your customer into his coat, explaining what you did with his request, and when you touched his shoulders Buggy couldn't help but feel jealous because you did that for him too, you always made sure his coat fit him, but it was obvious now that you did it for everyone. Buggy had no reason to feel special. 
When you finished up, your customer kissed your hand before leaving. Buggy was seething. You just shook your head before grabbing Buggy by the hand and leading him to the backroom.
“I have a present for you, Buggy.”
He tried to ignore Benji saying how cool that guy looked or Miss Pins commenting how that customer was so handsome because he knew they wouldn't think that way about him, so why would you? He said nothing as you let go of his hand and retrieved a small white box from a pile of other ones. He crossed his arms, glaring at his feet as you walked back over to him and held it out.
“Happy birthday.” You said, but he wouldn't take it from you. “Buggy?”
“You didn't know it was my birthday until last night.” He mumbled. “How do you have a gift for me already?”
You shrugged as you opened the box for him. He still wouldn't look at you. “I thought of it this morning. I did some hand stitching on this for a customer who never came back for it, but thankfully he prepaid for it.” You pulled out a square of silk, a light purple color, and held it out to him. He finally looked up, reaching out to touch it with his fingers carefully. “I thought it would look better on you than in some box.”
He hesitated and pulled his hand back. He didn't deserve a gift like this from you, especially considering on your own birthday he was an asshole to you. You said nothing as you rolled the fabric loosely before draping it over his neck. You pulled his hair out from under it before you looped it into a knot and tightened it just a bit. 
You smiled as you tugged on the front of it gently. “It looks good on you, Buggy.”
Buggy swallowed heavily and nodded. You were so close to him right then. His heart was pounding and his palms were sweaty. If he didn't do what he wanted to do right then he would regret it. You'd get romanced by someone else, some more handsome pirate, and he had to make it up to you for what he did on your birthday.
Without a word he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours, nose bumping and-
Honk!
Buggy froze and pulled back from you, a look of horror on his face at what just happened. You stared at him, but before he could bolt you grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him back, tilting your head just enough to avoid bumping his nose. He kept his arms at his sides, unsure where to put them. 
It felt like it went by too quickly when you pulled back from him, smiling brightly as you pecked him on the cheek.
“Is this a belated birthday gift, Buggy?” You teased as you let go of his shirt. He was red in the face but he grinned, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to be smooth.
“D’you want it to be?” He asked. You touched the silk around his neck and leaned into him, but he leaned back, expecting some kind of surface to support him, but instead he fell backwards and crashed onto the floor. 
You immediately knelt down and helped him sit up, checking him for injury. He seemed fine, just embarrassed, so you kissed him on the cheek.
“It could be, but I wouldn't say no to flowers.”
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givemea-dam-break · 1 year
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Hello! I have read some of your fics and you are an amazing writer, I love your works, and since I saw you have request open for my current hyperfixation, I wanted to ask for some jealous Anthony Lockwood , thank you :)
a/n: yesssssss thank you i would absolutely love to write this! I'm so, so glad you like my writing! thank you for all your support <3
warnings: mild language gn reader
"Who are those flowers for?"
You look up from your book, curled up on the sofa in the living room, watching as Lockwood strides in. Something in your chest leaps at the sight of him, longing to watch his usual routine of pacing, then sitting and reading a magazine, but you fix your gaze back on the book in your lap. You've just started a particularly interesting chapter.
"Me."
There's a pause and a glimmer of tension in the air. "From who?"
"Ned Shaw."
Lockwood scoffs, and when you look up again, he's sitting, glaring at the cluster of roses stuffed in some random vase you found in one of the cupboards. They're a bright, blinding red on the window, bathed in golden sunlight.
"Why?"
You suppress a smile. "You're just full of questions today, aren't you? Well, judging from the little note that came with them, he wants me to go to the Fittes at Fifty ball with him tonight and thought the roses would be a symbol of his good intentions."
Lockwood scowls. "Ned Shaw? Of all people, Ned Shaw?"
"We've talked a few times," you say with a shrug. "Not always willingly. I've bitten his head off already for how he treats you guys. But, behind all the grumpiness, he's actually an alright guy."
"And he asked you to the Fittes ball?" He's still staring at the flowers, and it seems as if he's trying to burn them with sight alone. It takes all your willpower not to laugh.
"Yeah, is that so surprising?"
"No, but..."
"But what?"
He sighs through his nose. He seems mostly at ease, except for his expression, but there's something more to it than the rivalry between Lockwood and Co and Fittes. Ned Shaw is part of Kipps' crew, and, sure, he's not the nicest guy ever, but he's saved your life a few times and you've caught up over coffee once or twice. It's not like you're interested in him. You're quite caught up over someone else entirely.
"And, so what if I said yes?" you ask, pretending that your focus is still on your book. Really, you're watching Lockwood out of the corner of your eye, or admiring him as Lucy would put it. "No one else asked me."
"You're going with us, aren't you?"
"If I didn't know you any better, I'd assume that's jealousy in your voice, Anthony Lockwood." Grinning, you glance up from your book.
Lockwood scoffs again. "Jealous? Of Ned Shaw? There's nothing to be jealous about."
"Well, he did pay for me at Arif's yesterday when I was getting some snacks. Awfully kind of him, don't you think?" You turn to the next page of your book. "He bought me this, too. Heard I was into this genre and thought of me when he saw it."
"Bullshit. You don't read that genre at all."
You raise your eyebrow, gently shutting the book. "And what makes you say that?"
Lockwood leans forward, his infamous 'Lockwood Grin' making its appearance. "You don't read anything by that author in particular because, in your words, he's a 'misogynistic prick who has never seen a woman in his life'. You don't read that genre because it reminds you too much of real life when in reality you want to escape it." He points over to the windowsill. "Those flowers? You prefer orchids over roses, a fact you've made clear before, and you think that red roses in particular, such as those ones, are overrated. You like orange ones more."
Speechless. He's left you completely and utterly speechless, and he knows it because his grin is triumphant.
How does he know all of that? They've never been topics of conversation, merely things you've said in passing, but he's remembered it all. Your cheeks flush, and your smile becomes more shy and subdued. None of it is even that interesting, but he's gone out of his way to remember it.
"What do you suggest I do, then?" you ask, trying to keep your elation hidden.
"Don't go with him."
"Who do I go with then?"
He knows it's a leading question, you can see it in his eyes and the way his smile softens slightly at the corners. "Me."
Internally, your brain is throwing a party. Fireworks and confetti cannons are going off, a disco ball is flashing a rainbow of colours, and your heart is dancing along to some music, but you make sure to keep your face as casual as possible. That proves to be harder than you thought.
"Oh, is that so?"
There's something in those dark eyes of his that has butterflies swarming in your stomach. "Yes. I think I'm a much better dance partner than Ned Shaw."
"Who says we'll be dancing?" you say. "We've got a job to do tonight. I'm sure we'll be far too busy."
"I'll make time."
And now he's done it. Your breath catches in your throat, and a smile plays on your lips as you look away from Lockwood. You can feel his gaze on your face, still, and you feel all giddy and mushy inside. When you turn your eyes back, he's still watching you, studying your face intently, and you find yourself doing the same - enjoying tracing your eyes over the shape of his face, the neatness of his hair, the green tie he fiddles with the end of. The only sign of his emotions behind that bright, cocky smile.
"I was never going to go with Ned," you admit, your eyes firmly locked in place with his. "I already declined his offer."
"You did?" You don't miss the relief in his tone.
"Mm-hm. Told him about the roses, too. And, really, this book isn't that great. Quite naff, if I'm being honest. There is no way this man has ever seen a woman. I mean, seriously, in what world is this good writing?"
Lockwood laughs, and you wish you could record the sound and put it on repeat to use it as some sort of painkiller. You find yourself laughing, too. You feel at ease with Lockwood, comfortable just sitting with him. It would be a content life just relaxing here, curled up on the sofa, with him for the rest of your life, laughing and talking.
"So, I know I haven't bought you flowers, or a book, or anything, but will you be my date to the ball?" Lockwood asks.
It sounds a bit like a line from some fairytale, enough to make you laugh softly.
"I will, Lockwood. But, I have one request."
His smile is so radiant it lights up the whole room. "And that is?"
"Don't kill Ned."
"Ah, well, no promises."
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batbabydamian · 5 months
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question- do you mind doing fic recs? And if so, do you have any good fics centered around Dick and Damian's relationship? In particular anything that plays with their whole "I'm your brother but also your father/son but not but yes" thing they've got going on? If you see this thank you, you're doing the lord's work <3
anon if you’re still out there, thank you for your patience and hope you enjoy these! there’s MANY Dick&Damian fics i love so i tried to limit it to the “im your brother AND kinda your dad but not really” dynamic!!
3:16 by partingxshot
The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)
i think every Dick & Damian enthusiast has read this lol it may be ongoing but its latest chapter is left on a very satisfying end for an arc!! 
an endless road to rediscover by littlearrows
In the months before Mar'i is born, Dick and Damian take a cross-country road trip together.
if you enjoyed the Dick and Damian tension from Nightwing (2016) #16-20 you might like this! :’) encouraging everyone to read those issues tbh
to be human by newsical
None of his Gotham acquaintances look upon his old life favorably — this, Damian knows. Was his life not noble before? Damian feels like a waterboarded gnat, swirling towards a drain. Gently, as though he has not ripped out Damian’s stomach with his teeth, Alfred says, “Attempting to take his father’s place won’t work, Master Richard…” Their voices peter out, and the last thing Damian can hear is Richard huff and say something that sounds like, “No shit,” and he is alone. Somewhere, a clock ticks. Damian pictures it melting. (Dick and Damian over the years.)
lovely dive into Damian’s personal growth and his relationship with Dick!! reading the poem that inspired the fic, especially again after finishing the fic is a nice touch!
Do You Feel the Way My Past Aches? by fishfingersandjellybabies
Bruce finds a wayward Damian asleep on his couch. Dick then find them both. An unexpected conversation ensues.
a tender Bruce perspective on the dynamic! “Bruce thought back to watching them work, Dick the master of the spotlight and Damian his perfect shadow.” THEM
When You're The One Who's Loved by fishfingersandjellybabies
Damian doesn’t understand why Dick is so upset. Tim does, though.
SO SOFTT ykw just go thru all of this writer's Dick & Damian fics they just exude love and warmth!!
Tea for Two by StormLeviosa
Their apartment is full of smiles now. It is because of Pennyworth, he is sure. Damian did not realise how much he'd missed Pennyworth until he came back. He slotted into their little family like the puzzle piece you do not know is missing. It was pleasant, having a grandfather he did not need to fear, and Pennyworth was all that and more.
part of a series, but easily read as a standalone. they’ve given up the vigilante life and DOMESTIC DICK & DAMIAN + ALFRED!! WHOLESOME!! i also enjoy the other Damian installments of the series, fun explorations of his interests/skills like violin!! and animals (going to vet school!!)
Pop-tarts and orange juice by Ididloveyou_once
‘Do you ever wish that Father had actually died?’ ‘Never.’ And despite the vehemence with which Richard says the word, Damian thinks that he might be lying. But only because he hates himself for the truth. Or: Bruce has been back from the dead for three months. Damian doesn’t know how to feel. He does know that he misses his da- Richard. They talk about it… Sort of.
"He wants to tell him that nothing compares to being Robin at his side. To being Damian at his side." WAILING
The Weight of Legacy by DawnsEternalLight
Damian didn’t think. He didn’t have to, protecting Richard was instinct by now. Darting forward right into the arc of Crane’s scythe as it aimed for his partner’s neck was as familiar to him as breathing, etched into his DNA. For if he lost Richard again, how could he continue to exist?  The man was not only his firmest tie to Batman’s mantle, now that Father was home and clashing with Damian, but at some point during their partnership he had inexorably woven himself into Damian’s very being. Through training, and lessons, and quiet nights filled with ice cream. Patience and love–a thing Damian had not hoped to find here when he’d first set foot on American soil.  To lose Richard would be akin to losing a limb. And so Damian acted as if that were true. He wove protection of his mentor, Batman, sibling, into every action he took and refused to accept failure as an option.
"We Both Know You're The Last of the Graysons" as a fic prompt is wild...that panel never fails to make me cry... also, another writer with an abundance of fantastic Dick & Damian fics!!
Emergency Contact by DawnsEternalLight
Damian: Apologies for the intrusion into your day, Richard. I need you to pick me up from the gallery trip early, it seems I have been stabbed. Dick blinked down at the message then read it again. And again. His brain not quite processing the words staring up at him, backlit by the phone.
this ventures bit more into parent Dick Grayson, as in Damian explicitly calling Dick his dad at the end but it's a fun fic!! that preview always cracks me up LOL
The Stowaway by LittleLadybugs
There's a cat in the penthouse. Fortunately, Alfred has yet to find out. Now to keep it that way. OR Dick tries his best to parent Damian. Damian tries his best, period. They’re both a bit clumsy, but they’ve got the spirit. There might be a cat Meow ᓚᘏᗢ 💙💚
smiling and laughing through this whole fic THEY ARE SO SILLY I LOVE THEM
as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia
Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I'm not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology.
basically them putting into words their own funky lil dynamic!!
Let The Right One In by whaleofatime
Hot on the trail of Deadshot threatening mayhem in Japan, Dick and Damian find themselves going undercover as a father-son duo on House Hunters International. Deadshot won't be the only source of chaos in Tokyo this summer, and Dick's only a little apologetic.
okok kinda cheating here since they’re just undercover as dad and son lol BUT it’s such a fun read of the duo on a Japan trip (mission)!
the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul
"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask." — Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.
cheating again bc plot not focused on Dick and Damian’s relationship, but it’s there! really enjoyed the characterizations and dynamics here!!
soft clocks by dustorange
Side effects of being revived by Lex Luthor may include amnesia, going undercover into a high-level espionage agency, not recognizing your family, fighting your family, and dealing with the emotional weight and guilt associated with encountering said family. Ask your doctor if being revived by Lex Luthor is right for you. (a.k.a. Dick has amnesia during his time at Spyral. The family grapples with finding out he's alive. Dick grapples with finding out he has a family. Inspired by this post by bigskydreaming.)
lol sorry another not focused on their relationship but!! came and stayed for the plot, then the Dick & Damian moments KNOCKED ME OUTT!!
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thebestofoneshots · 6 months
Text
WOLFSTAR X READER SERIES
Gilded Constellations | THE INTERLUDE
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally meet Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.
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Hey Lovelies, welcome to “The Interlude” of Gilded Constellations. We’ve basically already gotten to 100 k words in this story and that’s absolutely insane!!! Which is why I thought of doing a little thing where I could interact with my readers. As a thank you for being there and supporting me so much through this journey. 
And so… this little Q&A was born. Those who didn't get to ask their questions, don’t worry my darlings, my ask will be open all week for you to ask whatever you want. It’s a mini event that will last from today ‘till next wednesday. 
But yes, it does mean this week we won’t get a new chapter D: 
Don’t worry, it will definitely be worth it since the next couple of episodes are two that I’ve put absolute extra care on crafting, and I will put just as much care on revising. I’ve been quite literally posting non stop for 15 weeks consecutively. That’s almost 4 months, what?!?! 
I needed my tiny lil break, besides I wanted to dedicate this bit of time to work on my Maraudween Special smutty series that will include some interesting mini AUs, so those that read my other stuff and not just Gilded Constellations will be quite literally treated this Halloween. There will be a lot of posts these next few weeks. Although, I might be releasing some of the Maraudween stories at the beginning of November. Unfortunately, I’m not a machine and I can’t write in seconds like Chat GPT. 
Without further ado, let’s get on with those questions!
Where did you get the inspo for the fic?
Oh my god if I tell you guys about this… It all started when I was in class, sometimes when I’m bored, my little mind starts to wander. I’m a total daydreamer, I can’t deny that, but at that moment in particular I was quite literally thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. And then, out of nowhere, this phrase came to me: 
“You look at them the same way you looked at me when we met…” 
And I was like, “omg that’s so freaking angsty” and “That’s a great freaking line for a poly story” And I quite literally wrote it down with a little tag that said, “-the start of a poly relationship story because I’ve never read enough of those.” 
And then I closed the notebook and went back to class. But I guess the idea had already set in my brain because next thing I know, I’m writing down more things down. And let me tell you, before Gilded Constellations I only wrote Oneshots because a story seemed like too much commitment. So I kid you not, I wrote down: 
“Not a short story, but maybe a 3-5 chapter long fic”. 
Jokes on me though, we’re 15 chapters in, like 20-something written and we’re probably going to end up with longer than 200k words and I’m not even sorry about it. Besides, I'm really pumped to finish it because I want to get it printed in Lulu and have my own little copy as a “Damn you wrote that.” kind of evidence thing. So worry not about being left with an unfinished fic, I’m going to complete this story even if it’s the last thing I do. 
Besides, if I’m being honest, when I’m not writing, I miss my boys, so I’ll definitely miss passing the time with them when I’m done with GC. (Luckily I’ve already got another series planned and spoiler alert: This one will be Poly!Marauders x reader, a lot spicier aaaand, PIRATES.) 
That’s how the fic started, well that and a dream that was basically most of Chapter 3 and I thought it was so cute that I wrote it down and then I was like, “hold up, this could be the start of the Poly story I was talking about…” 
Are there any real-life experiences that influenced your writing?
Well I mean, I’d say that art imitates life and life imitates art, but in regards to real-life romance I don’t really know that much. But there are definitely some things here and there that have been sprinkled from my real life into the fic. Not sure if I could think of a particular one but I can say sometimes Remus gives me the same vibe that a boy I “used to” have a crush on. “Used to” in quotation marks because I kinda still do even if we haven’t seen each other in years. 
So I guess a lot of Remus comes from my crush, but also Remus is his own little boy as well and I love him more for it. Even If I’m torturing him so much with his heartache, I promise it will be worth it Remus, reader and Sirius will take care of you, eventually. 
Other than that, I guess I like to pay attention to things around me, you’ll see me looking at nature, the sky, the way leaves move, the way people interact with each other. Especially at that actually, I like to pay attention to people, how they move, how they interact, and their reactions. Sometimes I do it irl, and sometimes I just watch movies or series, and since my writing process is like seeing a movie in my head and then putting it into words, it’s always useful to pay attention to the world around me. Even if I sometimes struggle to put into words exactly what I’m seeing in my head.  
Did you already have everything planned, or did you just go with the flow? If you have already, how far? all of it? Or just some chapters ahead? 
Well, yes and no. I do have various key points of the story planned, a lot of plot points that are going to happen and that’s kinda what I’m sustaining myself on. I know the big points and then I just have to write what happens in between them. And I’ve got it planned all the way ‘till my babes all start dating. After that, if I’m honest I’m not sure how I’m going to end it. Some parts of me want to go for the saddest ending possible because it would go along with cannon and the other side of me, the one that can’t bear to see my boys being sad, wants to just deviate completely and/or leave an open ending. 
But so far, I really cannot tell what exactly I’m going to do, I just know that time will tell. Because sometimes the characters just do what they want and I love to see where they take me. Which is why the ending is not set in stone just yet. 
Without giving too many spoilers, can you tease upcoming plot twists or surprises we can expect in future chapters?
My sly little foxes have already guessed some of the major plot twists that are upcoming in the story. And there definitely will come some surprises along the way, some you will love, some you won’t so much. But I promise you it will all be worth it! 
Remember in Gilded Constellations, everything happens for a reason. 
THE FANCAST
What's your fancast for the fic? Did you pick the reader too or just leave it be? //  I wanted to know if you have a fancast for everyone…
I did mention that I basically see stuff as a movie in my head right? So yes, I do have a fancast! Although I most definitely see James as Aaron, Sirius as Ben, Remus as Andrew and Peter as Dane, I have also twisted them in my brain. Like it’s them, right? But my version of them. Like my Sirius is so fucking ethereal in my head that sometimes I myself blush with his beauty. And Remus, well, he is probably most similar to Talita Asami’s from instagram. Especially this one. 
There’s something about the way she contrasts his soft features with the scars that’s just perfect. It’s that sexy pirate vibe I cannot get out of my head, if that makes sense.  But also I’ve been toying with AI lately (Talkie) and ended up with these two versions of Remus and Sirius and they have absolutely taken over. 
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Sidenote: I made way to many of these, so do tell me if you wanna see them.
The reader: Uhm… well, I kind of just see her as me, hehe. Which is kind of the point, you should all just see the reader as yourselves, if you’re comfortable with that of course. 
The rest of our babies though? Lily Evans, Marlene and Mary, are kind of like the boys as in I see them as their fancast but also not entirely. And Lily especially, she’s just so freaking pretty in my head, there’s no one I know to match her, all thought Sophie Skelton and Kennedy Walsh (@/c4tluvr666 on Tiktok) are super close. 
Now, outside of canon characters, aka all of these OC’s I’ve been creating with time, some of them do have a fancast and some of them don’t. Let’s focus on the ones that do, because some of them I literally had in my head since the very, very beginning of the fic. 
Tom Harrow- This boy actually started as a younger version of Tom Hiddleston in my head, but the more I wrote him, the more he said, “Luv, that’s not what I look like!” And, almost out of nowhere, baby Tom Hiddleston became Rober Sheehan, and let me tell you, it stuck. And it stuck so bad there is no way I could see Tom as anything other than Rob. Especially with his role as Klaus in Umbrella Academy having a rather similar personality in the entire open-minded spectrum that he’s got going on. And, talking about teasers, this boy is actually going to be a key point on the romance between our golden throuple to develop, so keep an eye out for him. I love him so much tbh.  
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Then we’ve got Beth Doxon, this girl is my wifey, I freaking love Beth so much and if you’ve been paying attention you may already know who I based her off, at least in looks. It’s Anya Taylor Joy as Beth Harmon in Queen’s Gambit, redhead queen (can you tell I really, really like redheads?) . Also that’s why she has such a strong character, even if my Beth is a lot more of a Party Animal than the original character. 
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Alexander Wood in my head is just a carbon copy of his son Oliver, but in Hufflepuff, and the rest of the Quidditch teams, I’ve got a good idea of what they look like in my head, but not really a fan cast for them. Suggestions accepted. 
Well, except for Minho Yun, since his role in the story is going to be as a pretty strong supporting character, in fact, he was meant to be somewhat of an alt love interest that was going to help build Sirius’ jealousy, but in the end, I decided to completely scrap that to further develop him as a character. Some interesting things that you’ll actually learn on the GC Halloween special. Oh, and Minho is actually based on Sang Heon Lee (on looks) and Ki Hong Lee (on character, specifically on his role in Maze Runner). Had I based Minho on the character of Sang Heon Lee who inspired him, we would have way too many slutty boys in the same room, with Tom and Sirius and him, It’d be chaos, which is why he ended up being a little shier. 
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Nox, Neil and Todd, literally are just Nox, Neil and Tod from De*d Poets Society. I was rewatching the movie to nail that boy friend group interactions and to get in the Dark Academia Vibes and I wanted to give my boys a happy ending. 
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Also Neil just gives me the most massive Prongs vibe I cannot.
And lastly, there’s Nina Blythe. Nina to me is a totally angelic girl, I’ve got a very vivid picture of what she looks like in my head but I don’t really have a fancast for her. Maybe a little bit like Aurora (the singer), in regards to her soft features, but Nina has longer hair and it’s a little wavy. I kind of think of her as a girl from a Renaissance painting, emphasis on girl, since she is supposed to look younger than she is. Any ideas for a fancast? For her and for anyone I missed, I’m completely open to your suggestions. 
THE TEACHERS
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Professor Nightshade is definitely Eva Green from Miss Peregrine or Jessica Chastain from Crimson Peak. She’s got that tall,  regal and dark but elegant vibe to her that is just so freaking gorgeous and awe-inspiring. I totally have a crush on Seraphina, can you tell? 
Professor Aurelius Spellman is kind of inspired by Kingsley Shackelbolt. However, if I had to cast someone for the role it would be Djimon Hounsou, he has that attractive and rough vibe to him. Like scary, demanding but also alluring things going on, he’s just got the magician type I suppose. 
This one’s going to be silly, but I can’t imagine Kettleburn as anyone other than Gobber the Belch from HTTYD, like, take away the horned helmet and give him a pointy hat, and boom, Kettleburn ladies and gentlemen. Down to the messy personality, honestly. 
And Donovan Pendragon (the teacher for Magical Theory) I feel like he isn’t mentioned enough, because I literally had no idea what his name was even going to be and I just left a line for it until I was editing the chapter before posting. So he doesn’t really have a cast. He’s caucasian in my head, but that’s about all I’ve got from him. Any ideas? 
Do you have any headcanons for any of the characters and their relationship that you haven’t talked about in the story? 
REMUS: Well I feel like this one has been talked about several times in the story but Remus being a beast in bed? I feel like everyone loves to tease him about it in the castle but to me, he’s also a total soft boy? Like especially the first time, I feel like he’s going to be so overwhelmed by both Sirius and Reader that he will basically just melt in the hands of his lovers. 
SIRIUS: Smitten little puppy of my life. 
SIRIUS AND REMUS: They’ve totally kissed in the past. At least once, and Remus still dreams about it. Sirius, well… maybe he’ll get some memories of it every now and then.
READER: My girl thinks she’s so freaking smart and yet is the most oblivious to her own feelings; she could be considered an idiot. She’s also so selfless it hurts, but like literally. Also, she loves flirting with Sirius way too much. Still, they definitely will need Rem in their relationship because there is no self-preservation sense when her personality is just as chaotic as our Puppy. Side note: Remus will 100% blush when she starts flirting with him in the same way he does with Sirius. And let’s not talk about what a tomato he will be when Sirius does it as well. 
PETER: He kinda disliked the reader at first, especially since he felt like she was taking away his friends, but eventually he warmed up to her, and loves their friendship. 
LILY: She enjoyed the kiss with Reader, and it made her realize she’s totally bi, because she also enjoyed the kiss with James. 
TOM: My boy is clever as hell and he knows a lot more than he lets on. Also, he secretly ships the golden throuple. 
BETH: She’s Tom’s bestie and she knows a lot of things too. She will also ignite chaos with the ultimate goal of being Gryffindor Tower’s own cupid. Do you think what happened at Marlene’s Party was a coincidence? 
REGG: My beautiful Reggie is still sad about the incident. He’s still trying to find a way to reconnect with you and it pains him that you think he’d rat you out. Even then, he values the fact that you are with Sirius and that you’re helping him through everything that’s been going on, especially since he saw how red Sirius’s eyes were when he left the Black’s house with a trunk in hand sobs stuck in his throat. Reg cried like a baby that night, just wishing for time to go by as fast as possible so he could go back to school and see his big brother again. (I’m so sorry for that guys).
MINHO: Has a secret crush and you would not believe me if I told you who it was. 
NINA: Has a secret crush and some of you have probably already guessed who it is. 
DAMOCLES: You don’t know him yet but omg he’s just so clever, thank you Kles for existing.
And let's be honest, I totally have a bunch more of this but I think this is way more than enough, for now…
Out of all the chapters so far, what’s been your favorite?
This is too fucking hard to decide. But If I had to choose my top three, and in no order in particular, I’d say, for the released ones:  
Fooled around and Fell in Love
Because, can we talk about the kiss scene? I feel like this one will come back bite my kiddos in the back so they finally realize what they actually fucking need. 
Do Ya 
I’m a total sucker for Sirius, what can I tell ya? But also the flying scenes were so much fun to write, totally an adventure to go through, still among my favs. 
Maybe I’m amazed 
“Do you like Golf?” 
From the unreleased episodes: 
Tonight’s What It Means To Be Young
The calm before the storm. Or is it the storm before the storm? 
Bad Moon Rising 
The FUCKING storm. But also one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I think I like action scenes a little too much.
*** On The Run
The storm continues. But also, the calm after the storm.
Do you have a playlist that you always listen to when you're writing? 
Not a specific playlist, but I have been listening to a lot of ‘70s rock. Things like Queen, Bowie, Boston, Foreigner,  Kansas, Fleetwood Mac, Nazareth, The Police and some others. All of them help me get in the mood for writing. At least in the mood of the era, if that makes sense.
Aside from the ’70s classics, I’ve also been listening to a lot of Lord Huron, Hozier, and Aurora (I sort of discovered her recently and I’m obsessed with some of her songs). Also some of The Killers, Dotan and Vian Izak sprinkled here and there. Bastille and Imagine Dragons are always and forever so of course they wouldn’t be missing from my list. 
But when I’m struggling, like really struggling with writing, then I go to this Best Instrumental playlist, where they have everything from the Narnia and Peter Pan 2003 soundtracks to Vivaldi and Ghibli.  It really does help with the concentration. 
How long for the guys to understand that they fancy each other? 
Well, when you say the guys do you mean Sirius and Remus? ‘Cause then it’s not thaaaaaat far away from now. Now from then to them all dating, well…
I know Remus kind of struggles with feelings, and probably even more now that Sirius and the reader are together. But when he's gonna say "hey, can I come in?" 😏 lol I just want them together so baaaad!
Ahahahahahaha, Well that’s not exactly how it’s gonna go, but it’ll happen sometime after Christmas.
After wolfstar and the reader get together, the fic will end? or we're gonna have a lot of them together to compensate for the agony? 🥺
I’m not sure about the ending yet, but I’m definitely going to add so much fluff of the three of them together that you’re all gonna get cavities. Also, I’ve been writing The 5 Senses and the Halloween special (that might be finished until after Halloween) to practice for the spice, so I’m def compensating for the agony. 
Also, I kind of want to explore the social implications of being in a throuple, of making that public in the `70s. Seems like a whole lotta issue bringer that kinda interests me… Sorry, you’re not completely getting rid of the angst even when they’re all together. 
I don’t remember if I already asked you about this, but as a Regulus’ wife, I need to know. He'll come back, right? She will talk with him and he will be able to explain everything to her? I need this, I really need this! I can leave without this closing. THEY NEED TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN!
Your husband is safe with me. I promise. I’m not gonna say it’s gonna be very soon, but he will be safe because I love baby Reggie and I too can’t stand him being mistreated either. 
Not a question. I just want to say that I really love this story. It's one of my favorites, and I just put it on my masterlist for how much I love it.
Aww shut up, I love you so much <3
Will we have some Sirius jealousy? ‘Cause I'm really interested in that. Oooh... will he notice that Reader and Remus are... more than friends before they even know it? I dunno, he's just oblivious about everything around him. 
Funny that you ask, yes we will have a lot of Jealous!Sirius, in fact, it’s a huge part of how the throuple will develop. And you will have it so soon, even if it’s not exactly what you expect it to be. I can’t wait for next week!
And in regards to noticing, well… Sirius is not going to be the most oblivious about his own feelings in this story. I mean… not always.
Are there any particular scenes or moments in your story that were especially fun or challenging to write?
Well, I’m actually finding it a lot harder to write stuff atm, so I’d say the limbo between the Bad Moon Rising Arch and the next big thing that’s going to happen has been the hardest. Especially since I’m already going to get to a key point in which some shit is going to go down and I’m still not sure how bad and angsty I want to make it. Don’t worry, our golden throuple will be alright but…
In regards to fun, I must say the parties are some of my favorites, Potion Pong was incredibly fun to write ‘cause I literally transported myself to it and it was like actually living it, even if it was in my head. Also the flying scenes, they’re always fun to write, the race was incredible tbh. 
I love to write the fun banter and the teasing too, it brings me joy. But I bet you could tell I’m one for the teasing from the very first chapters of Gilded Constellations. 
Nina fancies Reader, right? She does. I just need a yes. I already know that 😌 
( ≖‿  ≖ )
Can you share any behind-the-scenes trivia or Easter eggs that readers might not have noticed in your story?
I feel like there’s a lot of behind-scenes I shared so far but I guess I could share a few pics of my organization systems. Things like…
Your schedule: 
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The cover:
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Some of you have already been theorizing about it too, you can look at some of those theories over here, and here, and also here.
Alt Covers I designed but weren't chosen:
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Something you might not know:
GC is also available on Wattpad and AO3. The AO3 chapters usually drop like 30 minutes or an hour before Tumblr because it's easier to post there. And the Wattpad releases are actually way behind in comparison (there isn't much engagement over there).
Some Shots of my Plot notebook (0 spoilers): 
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And also, have you noticed the special little thing in the names of the chapters? 10 housepoints to whoever notices
I just thought of this, but what if we make a little housepont system and from things that you guys guess of the story you get housepoints and then we have a houseprice in the end? OMG I'd love to do this, if you're on tell me your house in the comments. So far Sytherin would have like 40 points just beacuse of dear @cometsghost and I'm not sure what is @blacksgarden house but they would also have like 40 pts.
How do you stay motivated and inspired to keep writing, especially in moments when you might experience writer's block?
It may or may not be healthy, but I just force myself to type? I never really have writer’s block, rather I’d call it writer’s overload. It’s when I’m running through so many possibilities in my head and I can’t pick which is the one I want to go through with. So I keep thinking about it and I don’t type. Which is why I just force myself to type, more often than not I’ll end up writing something I really like. 
And as for the motivation, honestly just getting to see my boys again. To be able to submerge back into Hogwarts, that’s enough motivation. I seriously get an urge to go back because I miss them. It's kinda crazy. Like I might be chilling at home and suddenly the thought “I wish I was at Hogwarts” crosses my mind, not even joking. 
The other motivation is finishing my book so I can get a printed version to place in my bookshelf and show it off. Not that anyone would know what it is, but I’d know, which is enough, hehe. And also to be a better writer, they say you should write every single day, which is kind of what I’m attempting to do with GC. By writing a chapter every week, I literally force myself to write every single day, even if just a couple of words. 
Can we have cute moments with Remus? uuuh, Will he be cute when she notices that she really likes him?
Yes! We can have all the cute moments with Remus. Even before they all notice they’re into each other, we’re gonna have so many cute moments because even if Reader is dating Sirius I can’t leave my beautiful boy on the sidelines. Besides, how can I torture him if he doesn’t get a taste of how good it would be to be with them? 
What can readers look forward to in the next chapters, and do you have any long-term plans or goals for GCs development?
Angst. Don’t hate me for this. But also comfort, and some fun little adventures and then a bit more angst, hehe…
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Well, that’s the end of the questions I got sent ahead. Hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of a Q&A. If you have any more, or if my answers have provoked further questions, then by all means, share them with me, I’d love to be able to interact with you a bit more. 
Love ya, Lily xx
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teyamskxawng · 1 year
Text
In Heat [VII]
Lo'ak Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
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Previously: Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Chapter V, Chapter VI
The rundown: After months of courting, you and Lo’ak finally make Tsaheylu.
Warnings: 18+ content, language, mention of reader's deceased parents, smut, characters are aged up, minors do not interact!! please
WC: 12.2k
A/N: This can surprisingly be read separate from the rest of the fic if you stumble across this and don’t wanna read the six prior chapters lol!! Thank you to anyone who’s been reading from the beginning, ily and I wanna give you flowers <3 this chapter was funnn + heavily inspired by the 2009 film
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*4 months later*
With your eyes gently shut, you let yourself immerse in the soothing touch of your parents' heartfelt embrace. Cradled in their loving arms, you could almost believe they were actually in front of you, as if the RDA hadn't ruined your life and stolen them from you over half a decade ago. Slowly letting your eyes blink open, you took in the beautiful sight of their overjoyed expressions.
Throughout the years, you prioritized visiting your departed parents at the Tree of Souls every few days. But today's meeting was especially significant. It wasn't until today that you finally gathered the courage to tell them about your new relationship with Lo'ak.
Procrastination had been your ally in this matter, as you were well aware of how soul-crushing it would be to watch their delightful smiles and hear their excited words of praise and encouragement, knowing all too well that their appearances were a mere illusion. 
Eywa knows Mo'at would have your ear if she ever heard you speak down on the cultural significance of connecting with your ancestors through the tree. But still, you were all too aware that your parents couldn’t physically be with you, nor could they experience the joyous moments brought about by each milestone in your new relationship with Lo'ak.
Which was why you knew that engaging in the sensitive conversation with them would be like pouring salt on a still-open wound. Their presence felt so tangible, but deep down, reality weighed on your heart.
Your parents would never have the chance to meet Lo'ak—at least not as the version of the man he had grown into since your parents last knew him as your young, rambunctious friend.
He had changed so much since then, and they would never see the person he had become. Lo'ak was now mature and full of wisdom, but he still possessed those endearing quirks that only grew more captivating with time. Your parents didn't have the chance to give their blessing to your union, and you wouldn't get to witness their reluctant smiles give way to roaring laughter as they’d have watched Lo’ak’s spirited attempts to impress them.
Probably most heartbreaking of all, they wouldn't ever have the chance to watch their future grandchildren scamper around in sheer delight, growing up before their very eyes.
It was funny how life worked. Throughout your entire childhood, there were so many questions swirling around your mind—questions you’d always wanted to ask your parents but never got the chance to. You were too young, too innocent, and just too damn content in your blissful ignorance to even fathom the reality that one day your parents would be snatched away from you in what seemed like the blink of an eye. 
There were so many things left unsaid and unexplored. Among the questions crowding your thoughts was their connection, their unyielding love.
How did they know when it was time to leave their separate lives behind and commit to a shared existence?
It wasn’t just idle curiosity; you found yourself in a similar situation with Lo’ak. You loved him more than anything, and spending a lifetime together seemed inevitable. It was just a question of when and how the fuck you were supposed to approach that kind of topic.
Neytiri and Jake would've undoubtedly shed some light on your burning inquiries. They'd been there, done that, and would have happily guided you through the somewhat awkward yet endearing conundrum with honest advice. However, you couldn’t shake the odd feeling that clouded your judgment every time you considered confiding in them about their own son. It was just... weird. There was something too personal about it, making it feel less like asking for genuine wisdom and more like prying into an intimate family matter. They were Lo'ak's parents, not yours.
So, plagued by unanswered questions, you made the impulsive decision to reach out to your parents now that their spiritual presence stood before you.
“How did you know when it was the right time to make Tsaheylu?” you asked, full of uncertainty and curious desire. “I want to... I'm just...�� Your voice faltered, the words stumbling and eventually fading away like a sad, distant echo. 
Your mother, sensing your unease, gently cradled your face in her warm hand. Her touch was so delicate; it felt like the brush of a feather, like a figment in the corner of your imagination. Probably because she was, quite literally, nothing more than a figment in the corner of your imagination.
“You will know when the moment is right, tìyawn,” she said with an air of soft reassurance that only a mother could provide. 
However, you couldn’t escape the persistent, nagging feeling in your chest.
The thing was, you had no idea when the right time to become mated to Lo'ak would come. Shaking your head in denial, you tried to convey your confusion without words.
That was when your father chimed in, his voice powerful yet soothing as ever.
“Eywa works in unspeakable ways. Always know that she will take care of you.”
Your father always spoke in tongues, offering words of wisdom wrapped in perplexing phrases. His words should have comforted you—they'd done so countless times before, providing you with food for thought that would last for days on end, giving you at least something to remember him by.
But today? Today, they only served to fuel a mounting sense of frustration inside you.
Unspeakable ways, your ass. The sky people killed your parents. They left you an orphaned child, alone and afraid in a world that would never be the same.
“Then why did Eywa take you away from me? Why would she leave me to fend for myself, all alone?” You shouted, no longer able to prevent the dam of emotions from bursting free. It was so unfair.
An overwhelming sensation bubbled up inside you as angry tears began to gather in your eyes. Your parents’ faces grew hazy, and your vision blurred. 
"You are never alone." Your father's voice interrupted your wave of sadness, his brow furrowing in confusion. He reached out and placed a reassuring hand on the top of your head, his thumb softly grazing your temple. “See? We are right here, maite,” he laughed.
The chime of his laughter was so beautiful, so familiar, and you hated that it wasn't real.
Unable to maintain eye contact with your blissfully unaware parents, you swiveled your head away and barely managed to stifle a heart-wrenching sob. This was exactly why you were so weary of approaching such a sensitive topic with your parents' spirits.
Under normal circumstances, during your connection with the Tree of Souls, you easily juggled your emotions and kept things lighthearted—happy and bittersweet. But this time, the pain proved to be too overwhelming, too raw.
“I miss you both so much,” Your voice trembled as the words barely escaped your lips. Filled with grief and longing that seemed to almost strangle your voice, the words hung heavy in the air before dissipating like a delicate mist.
The comforting warmth of your mother's hand slowly receded from your cheek, and the protective touch of your father's hand slipped from your head as you were slowly pulled away from them into a sea of darkness.
As you reluctantly allowed your eyes to flutter open again, you found yourself back in reality, with the Tree of Souls standing majestically before you, adorned with its glowing pink vines. The bittersweet sensation of tears silently carved their way down your cheeks as you disconnected from the tree, gravity dropping your queue against your front with a soft thud. You couldn't even bring yourself to swipe the trail of snot from your nose. You felt numb.
Returning to reality always felt like emerging from a nightmare, with each haunting detail stubbornly clinging to the edges of your consciousness.
Next to you stood Lo’ak, detaching his tswin from an adjacent vine. He was quick to register the pain etched across your face, and with two long strides, he closed the gap between you both. Before you could even process what was happening, he gathered you into his arms, nestling your head securely under his chin.
He rubbed soothing circles into your back, deep enough to release your tension but gentle enough not to overwhelm you, all while whispering calming words into your ear.
“It’s okay, y/n,” he assured you softly. “You’re okay. I’m right here.”
In the sanctuary of Lo’ak’s strong arms, you continued to tremble, seeking solace as you struggled to regain control of your breathing.
Despite your inner turmoil, you felt an overwhelming sense of security enveloping you like a warm blanket with every tight squeeze of Lo’ak’s comforting embrace. As his arms continued to encircle you, providing solace unlike any other, it gradually became easier to control your shaky breaths. Lo'ak seemed to possess a natural ability to right the wrongs in your life, even when everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.
Your thoughts drifted back to the gut-wrenching period following your parents' unexpected deaths. You remembered how deeply that pain had cut, how lost you were in those dark days. Their absence left a deep void in your soul that threatened to swallow you whole.
Back then, in an attempt to cope with your insurmountable grief, you recklessly flung yourself headlong into your warrior training. You ignored the cautious pleas of Jake and Neytiri, who urged you to take a step back from all the violence that suddenly consumed your life. They wanted you to confront the depths of your sorrow and allow yourself time to grieve and heal properly, but their words fell on deaf ears.
You remembered how you stubbornly demanded that Jake let you back onto the training field. You were so intent on becoming the strongest version of yourself so that you could wreak absolute havoc on the RDA and avenge your parents.
And much to Jake's chagrin, you were back on the field just two days later, paired up with Lo’ak for combat training. But Lo'ak wasn’t just another trainee; he was your best friend, and he knew better than anyone that your emotional state was barely hanging by a thread.
When the training started, you swung fiercely at Lo'ak. You were relentless in channeling every ounce of emotion into your powerful strikes, trying to purge the pain from within. You attacked with everything you had, but he refused to strike back. Instead, he sidestepped each of your advances and dodged every one of your hits. At every turn, Lo’ak kept pleading with you to take a break, urging you to take a deep breath and find some other way to let go of all the anger you were holding inside.
But his words only fueled your rage. 
His emotional appeal made you feel more out of control and increased your resolve to vent all those pent-up sentiments. You swung harder and faster at him, trying your best to land a solid hit, irrationally hoping it would somehow free you from your emotions.
Finally, after countless attempts, you managed to cuff Lo'ak hard on the jaw, causing him to stumble back and stare at you wide-eyed in shock. You took full advantage of his momentary bewilderment, managing another sharp hit to his nose. As your fist retracted from its solid connection with his face, it was marred with the dark red stain of his blood. Your stomach churned at the sight, but the part of you that was so angry with the world and all of its inhabitants was relentless.
There you were, standing in front of Lo’ak, fed up with everyone treating you like some delicate little flower. You couldn’t take it anymore.
“Come on, Lo’ak! Hit me back!” you yelled at him, your voice echoing off the surrounding trees. The frustration had been building inside you for days, and you finally reached your boiling point. Everyone seemed to tiptoe around you as if you were a grenade, ready to go off at any moment.
Lo’ak stood in front of you, his face etched with concern. He looked into your eyes with a mixture of pity and sympathy—not at all what you wanted.  
“y/n...” he began hesitantly, shaking his head at what could only be described as the shadow of your former self, but his words fell on deaf ears. His refusal to engage only served to fuel your anger even further.
In an act of blind frustration, you pushed him hard in the chest with both of your hands, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction beyond pity.
You didn’t want his sad eyes. You wanted him to feel your fury and understand how tired you were of everything. But much to your disappointment, Lo’ak barely even stumbled from your forceful shove. You moved to shove him again, but in that moment of pure emotion, he reached out and caught hold of your forearms, his grip gentle but firm enough to hold you in place. You tried desperately to pry yourself from his grasp, hissing, scratching, and doing everything in your power to swing at him.
As much as you wanted to best him physically, it was all in vain.
Realizing just how futile your fight truly was, you felt a wave of despair crash down on you. Just like that, all the fire went out of your fight.
Exhausted and defeated, your body went limp in his arms. Your head fell forward onto his shoulder as tears welled up in your eyes—a crushing conclusion to the emotions you had been holding in for way too long. 
Lo’ak slowly released his grip on your forearms, sensing your vulnerability. He hesitated for a moment before carefully wrapping his arms around your fragile, bony frame, a heart-wrenching reminder of the fact that you hadn’t been eating properly or taking care of yourself since the loss of your parents. Despite your frailty, Lo’ak held you just tight enough to keep you steady while providing a comforting presence as tears streamed down your face. You were a wreck, crying and snotting messily into his shoulder, but you didn't have the mental capacity to care.
In times like these, words seemed to fail Lo'ak. But that was perfectly fine with you.
You didn't want him to lie and try to tell you that your parents would be missed, that they were in a better place now. You'd already heard enough of that bullshit, and it didn't help at all. So you were thankful when Lo'ak began to silently trace soothing lines up and down your back with one hand while the other cradled your head against his shoulder.
Your breaths came in short, rapid gasps between each of your sobs—hyperventilating from the emotional turmoil—and normally, you would have been mortified to be so helpless in front of your best friend. But with the weight of the world on your shoulders and an overwhelming sense of exhaustion washing over you like a tidal wave, embarrassment was the least of your concerns. 
All semblance of decorum and composure abandoned, it felt as though everything would come crashing down upon you at any moment. You felt like you were about to pass out with how drained you were, how tired you were of everything.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright, y/n. Just breathe with me, please. We can count together, okay? Just—one… two….” Lo’ak was doing everything in his power to comfort you as you stood there, struggling to regain your composure.
Despite his efforts, though, your sobs were impossible to ignore. They echoed throughout the forest, eventually grabbing the undivided attention of Jake, who had been keeping an eye on some of the other trainees around the corner.
Jake immediately sprinted over to investigate, concern etched across his face. As he approached you and Lo’ak, his wide eyes softened at the sight of you two.
Without uttering a word, Jake gently nudged his head in the direction of Hometree—a silent signal for Lo’ak to get you the hell out of the chaotic environment of the training grounds and take care of you. Jake knew that what you really needed was some peace and quiet to heal.
Following his father’s advice, Lo’ak remained silent as he took your hand in his and began guiding you back toward the refuge of your late family’s tent.
You and Lo’ak never held hands like that—there was never a reason to—but in that instance, it felt natural and comforting.
The warmth of Lo’ak’s touch seemed to spread throughout your entire body, providing an odd sense of comfort despite your emotional distress. As your heart pounded against your chest with each step you took together, it became increasingly clear that the simple yet incredibly meaningful gesture would be forever etched into both of your memories.
Lo’ak guided you through the forest landscape, bathed in the early evening's bioluminescent light, until finally, the view of Hometree dominated the horizon. Silently, carefully, Lo’ak led you along the path to your family's tent.
Lo’ak understood that it wasn’t about physical or even emotional support in just that singular moment—it was about standing beside you as a friend through life’s darkest chapters and refusing to leave you alone in facing such overwhelming shadows. And as much as he could feel the ache gripping every fiber of your being, he knew that together, you could slowly start rebuilding, piece by piece. After all, friends faced the storms together and remained standing side by side when everything else had passed. 
And for the first time since the death of your parents, you felt a sense of safety that you never thought you’d feel again.
As Lo’ak gently led you through the opening of your tent, his comforting grip still holding your hand, you finally understood that your idea of “home” had shifted. It wasn’t bound by the walls of a tent; instead, it was embodied by Lo’ak himself. As long as he was by your side, everything would be okay.
The scene inside your home was etched permanently in your mind—you curled in a ball on the floor beside Lo’ak, your head resting on the makeshift pillow formed from his folded legs. His fingers tenderly brushed through the unkempt wisps of hair near your forehead.
Your eyes fluttered closed, allowing you to concentrate on the soothing sounds around you: the rhythmic sound of Lo’ak’s steady breaths and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as his lungs filled with air and released it back into the quiet world.
You felt his chest expand and contract beneath you, almost seeming to synchronize with your own breathing. The sublime connection created a shared heartbeat between you two in that tranquil space. Time appeared to stand still as silence enveloped the both of you, like Eywa herself was holding her breath to preserve the pure moment of peace.
It was in that quiet instance that you realized how perfectly you fit together—how well he held you, protecting your fragile heart while offering solace and strength in equal measure. Lo’ak’s presence reassured you over and over again: everything was going to be okay.
And likewise, now nestled safely within the circle of Lo’ak’s strong arms beneath the Tree of Souls, you were reminded once more that together, you would be okay.
“I love you,” you whispered against Lo’ak’s skin, almost in a daze, yet every word held immense sincerity. 
You had loved Lo’ak as he comforted you all those years ago, and your love for him had never wavered—it burned just as brightly as it did back then. He was the anchor that tethered you to the world around you, his presence a comforting constant in the ever-changing tides of life. You cherished everything about him, from the gentle warmth that emanated from his touch to the familiarity of his laughter as you would relentlessly tease each other.
There wasn’t a single thing about him you would change—he wouldn’t be Lo’ak if you did.
Your heartfelt confession seemed to catch him completely off guard. It was as if someone had pressed pause on a video on one of Jake’s holo-pads, his entire being coming to a sudden standstill. He pulled away from your embrace, just enough to look down into your eyes. The desperation on his face only grew as he sought some kind of validation, some confirmation that what you said was real, that it wasn’t just some figment of his imagination.
You met his gaze, completely sure of yourself. There was no doubt in your mind regarding the depth of emotion behind those three simple words that had slipped from your lips. There was no trace of embarrassment or regret clouding your expression when you confessed your love for Lo’ak.
He simply stared back at you, wide-eyed and speechless, his gaze searching your face. He was just waiting for you to break out into a smirk, to let out a snort of laughter, to flick him in the forehead and say, “Just kidding, dumbass.” 
But that moment never came. Instead, there you were, open-hearted and genuine, with all the unspoken emotions now laid bare between the two of you, raw and unfiltered.
You watched as Lo’ak’s gaze shifted to the right. You remained clueless as he was captivated by the sudden, enchanting sight of a flurry of woodsprites fluttering closer and closer to the two of you. Their tiny arms reached out, almost as if they were cheering you on, creating an atmosphere of wonder and delight.
Unaware of the spectacle unfolding behind you, your attention was drawn to Lo’ak’s face. Curiously, you tried to decipher his expression. You were kind of expecting him to say he loved you back, not stare gobsmacked above your head.
Lo'ak watched as one by one, the delicate woodsprites began to land on your head with the grace of a feather. The first one settled softly on your crown, followed by another... and another, each seeking its own perch on your head. Soon, at least a dozen of them had landed there, each adding to your iridescent halo that glowed like a luminous headpiece. As the radiant display enveloped you, it only enhanced your beauty further.
The once-overwhelming confusion in your eyes slowly gave way to a dawning look of amazement as you caught sight of the enchanting flurry that had piqued Lo’ak’s interest out of the corner of your eye.
The air was thick with anticipation as you watched the woodsprites gather around the two of you with bated breath. Their movements were graceful and full of energy as they happily flurried around before finally settling on Lo’ak’s shoulders in an almost comically straight line. 
It was impossible to ignore the significance of the incredible moment. 
The tiny seeds that detached themselves from the Tree of Souls were known to carry omens and symbolize sacred moments in one’s life. You knew in your heart that this was Eywa. She was speaking to you, giving you a sign. As always, your father was right.
You glanced over at Lo’ak, curious to see if he was comprehending the gravity of the moment just as much as you were. Sure enough, the expression on his face mirrored your understanding and awe. His stunned gaze flickered from your face to his arms, which were extended out to his sides and covered in dozens of brightly glowing woodsprites. An unspoken understanding passed between the two of you, cementing the mysterious but profound connection shared at that moment.
Just as suddenly as they had arrived, the woodsprites detached themselves from both your bodies and floated away. They retreated gracefully back to their home within the glowing heights of the Tree of Souls. 
You followed their ascent with your eyes, craning your neck to keep them in sight for as long as possible, completely captivated by their presence.
An indescribable wave of joy surged through your body, electrifying and tingling every inch of your being. It was an overwhelming feeling of peace that engulfed you entirely and left a deep sensation of gratitude within your soul.
You were admittedly caught off guard as Lo’ak’s hand gently cradled your cheek. His touch was deliberate yet tender, guiding your face to meet his gaze. As his hand continued its journey, it slid from your shoulder and traveled down your arm before finally intertwining with yours, almost instinctively. A warm smile graced your lips as the feeling of your fingers meshing together felt as natural as the first time you had done so all those years ago.
“I love you too, y/n. So much,” Lo’ak confessed, his words effectively snapping you back to reality. Your smile broadened in response to his heartfelt declaration, trying to contain the overwhelming emotions that filled you from within.
The atmosphere around you was electric with love, and with a playful snort, you couldn’t help but tease: “I think that was Eywa telling us to hurry up.”
At that moment, all of your worries seemed to evaporate. You felt light and carefree and overcome with happiness. You felt so in love. The intensity of emotion that flooded through you needed release. It compelled you to take action.
Reaching out for Lo’ak once more, you wrapped your hands around the back of his neck and pulled him close, eliminating any space that separated the two of you. You were living in an idyllic moment, one where time seemed to stand still and nothing else mattered but the love you shared.
For a few moments, you both embraced one another tightly, allowing yourselves to take steady breaths. 
It was almost as if your breathing was synchronized, which caused your mind to drift in curiosity. You wondered if this was what the bond would feel like—like your souls were so intricately woven together that it was nearly impossible to separate the two of you into individual beings.
As those thoughts swirled in your head, you tenderly rubbed your cheek against Lo’ak’s, reveling in his warmth and soaking in every detail of his closeness to you. His unique scent enveloped you—herbal and musky and sweet—further entwining the two of you in an enchanting dance of passion and love. 
The very essence of him consumed your senses, and you felt like you could just forget the world and drown in his intoxicating scent, the tenderness of his touch, and the sheer intimacy of the shared moment.
In response to your affection, Lo’ak released a contented noise that very much resembled that of a soft purr, and you let out a breath of laughter at both the noise and the immediate blush that spread across Lo'ak's face as he tried to play it off. 
Quick to quiet your snickers, Lo’ak let out a quiet “Shh,” but you could feel the corners of his lips against your face as they curled into a smile that mirrored your own happiness.
Feigning innocence while still keeping your voice low and full of tenderness, you replied with a delicate whisper, “I didn’t say anything.”
Like the overgrown child that he is, Lo'ak only squeezed you tighter around the waist and mocked you in an overly high-pitched voice. "I didn't say anything," he parroted. You couldn't even bring yourself to pretend to be annoyed. You were way too proud of how easily you could reduce him to purrs.
You continued showering Lo’ak with your love by alternately brushing your cheek over his and planting a series of little kisses all across his face, effectively shutting him up.
It was as though each kiss held its own message—a reminder that you loved him beyond measure. You wanted him to absorb every ounce of the adoration you poured into those delicate kisses.
Your hands instinctively found their way to his chest, exploring the well-known paths that traced the curves and definition of the muscles hidden beneath his skin. The affectionate and almost habitual gesture seemed to serve as a call to action. It was like a spark that ignited an unspoken understanding between the two of you. 
At that moment, you were acutely aware of how desperately you needed Lo’ak, how you longed for him to be even closer to your heart and soul, to be one with your body. 
You told him as much, whispered your desires into the shell of his ear.
As you pulled back to gaze into Lo’ak’s eyes, you immediately noticed his pupils dilated with anticipation, the same way they’d always get whenever you were about to fuck. Without hesitation, Lo’ak wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you toward him, his lips hungrily connecting with yours in a searing kiss. He almost missed your mouth altogether with the intensity with which he sought out your whispered offering.
Your hands tenderly rose upward to cradle the back of Lo’ak’s head as you licked into his mouth, savoring each delicious slide of your tongue against his own. Your tail swung eagerly behind you, unable to hide your mounting excitement. The soft tuft of dark hair at its end seemed to possess a mind of its own as it brushed against Lo’ak’s side—a physical manifestation of the magnetic pull drawing you even closer to him.
You practically drank him in, fully immersed in the intoxicating sensation of your lips fusing with his in a wondrous, familiar rhythm. 
As the gentle breeze danced around you, you willingly let Lo’ak guide you down onto the cushiony grass, your back sinking into its soft embrace. You let him mouth his way down the length of your neck, his warm breath on your skin sending shivers down your spine. 
Barely audible, he grumbled into your throat, “Love you,” once more. His voice was heavy with emotion, and the raw sincerity in his voice stirred an overwhelming wave of emotion within you.
Lo’ak’s tender affections continued to unravel the edges of your composure. You felt completely undone. You were sure there was no way that all he had done so far was kiss you. With your eyes closed and your senses heightened, you could feel every tender touch as he grazed his teeth over your pulse point and delicately trailed his fingers up the expanse of your legs as if tracing a map; his touch simultaneously commanding and gentle.
As he let his fingers roam further up your thighs, he paused to appreciate the softness of your skin, gently squeezing the supple flesh before tracing teasing lines along the innermost part of your legs. His thumbs gently brushed against the sensitive skin there, sending tingles throughout your body like electric sparks. Between each lingering touch, your breaths grew shallow in anticipation.
Stubbornly, he maintained a small distance between your bodies, refusing to give in and press up against you even though you were desperate for it. You shamelessly keened for it, tried to push your hips up to meet him. You wanted to feel him inside of you, and judging by the strain against his loincloth, he wanted to be inside you just as badly. But Lo’ak was such a little shit.
He relished taking his sweet time with you, deliberately drawing out each moment as he explored your body, teasing you for so long until you were nothing but a pliant wreck under his touch. He always prioritized your pleasure above everything else, which was simultaneously frustrating and endearing.
Lo’ak continued working his tantalizing magic on your skin, his fingers hovering so close, yet never quite reaching the spot where you so desperately needed him. It was maddening and exhilarating how meticulous he could be. The dance between agony and ecstasy left every part of you desperate for more. You wanted to scream in frustration.
Attempting to gather your resolve, you meant to firmly call out “Lo’ak,” but instead, it escaped your lips as more of an anguished, pleading moan.
Lo’ak didn’t seem to mind at all, only humming in response as he continued his passionate onslaught. Leaving a fiery trail of burning kisses, he started at your throat and made his way down your collarbone, stopping to linger at your sternum before continuing his journey over the fabric covering your chest. And you immediately came to the conclusion that the extra barrier of material just wouldn’t do.
You swiftly sat up to remove your top, so suddenly that you almost smashed Lo’ak in the face with your elbow in the process. But with your chest now bare to him, you decided that you might as well kill two birds with one stone.
Efficiently eliminating the need for any further interruptions, you hastily reached down and loosened the knot holding up your loincloth just enough for you to slide it over your hips and down past your legs, mindlessly tossing the garment to the side amidst the tall blades of grass. You were sure that you were going to have to spend an embarrassing amount of time trying to find it once all was said and done, and Lo'ak was definitely going to laugh at you the entire time and not help you look for it, but that was the last thing on your mind at that moment.
No matter how many times Lo’ak had seen you in that state of undress before, his astonishment and awe remained fresh and unperturbed each time. He had the same awestruck reaction, his eyes wide in admiration as if he were beholding some rare and precious treasure. Lo’ak’s face revealed a myriad of emotions as his eyes traveled over every inch of your frame, the corners of his mouth curving into a small, affectionate grin. 
You found yourself rolling your eyes at his display, all while secretly delighting in how he never failed to worship your body without reservation. His presence had a unique way of making you feel at ease, even in your most vulnerable state.
Taking his time, Lo’ak’s gaze didn’t meet yours until he had thoroughly feasted upon the sight before him. 
His soft voice whispered into the air, “You’re so beautiful.” Then, with renewed determination, he resumed his quest to leave you completely breathless and speechless, planting tender kisses against your now-bare chest.
His hands meandered their way back to the curve of your waist, securing your writhing form to the ground as if to ensure you couldn’t escape from the captivating hold he had on you. With heightened anticipation and growing desire, Lo’ak slowly roamed his hands upward to trace the delicate curves of your breasts.
Lo’ak somehow intertwined the perfect balance of fervor and tenderness in each of his actions while meticulously extinguishing any ability for words or coherent thought. It was like straight-up mush in your brain. You were swept up in the whirlwind of sensation that he created with such exquisite attention to detail, every touch enhancing the emotional connection between you. 
It was in these moments where time seemed to slow down and reality faded away, that Lo’ak awakened a deeper connection within your soul—one built on trust, admiration, and an ineffable love that left you completely at a loss for words.
“So fucking perfect,” Lo’ak murmured, allowing the gentle pressure of his thumbs to glide across your sensitive nipples, already hardened into little buds from all the ongoing stimuli.
You let out a soft moan in response to Lo’ak’s continual praise, which seemed to envelop you like a warm, comforting ray of light. There was no doubt in your mind that you trusted Lo’ak with all your heart. He always knew how to make you feel so good every single time, without fail.
And as he began his tantalizing journey of sweet kisses, starting at your chest and gradually trailing lower and lower along the trembling lines of your stomach, you felt an exhilarating anticipation building within you. 
He made his way down to your already-wet center, and all you could do was sink your head further into the ground beneath you, exhaling his name in a breathy whisper.
The sensation of Lo’ak’s delicate touch combined with the warmth of his breath gently sweeping over your core caused a shiver to resonate throughout your entire being. He gently spread your legs apart even further, comfortably positioning himself between them before diving in without any hesitation.
Lo'ak knew exactly how to reduce you to moans, and this time was no different. He shamelessly loved eating you out. His enthusiasm for doing so became apparent from the very first time you let him go down on you. You figured it must’ve been fate because, as much as the boy loved to talk, he transformed into something utterly irresistible whenever his mouth descended upon you—each tantalizing lick into your wetness and gentle prod of his tongue at your entrance made you feel like you were going to lose your mind.
He loved the way you’d go all soft under his touch, practically melting beneath his skilled tonguework. He reveled in the sensation of your legs wrapping around him, curling over his shoulders as your ankles crossed snugly behind his neck, the way your thighs tightened around his head each time he circled his tongue around your clit. Your body couldn’t help but respond to his every touch.
Lo’ak loved the noises you made. It was as if you were unable to contain yourself or the stream of moans and curses that would slip past your lips, bitten red from trying (and always failing) to keep quiet.
He especially loved it when, seemingly without realizing it, you’d reach out and bury your fingers within his braids, grinding yourself against his face because you couldn’t stand how teasingly slow he was going.
The first time Lo’ak went down on you, all it took was a few mindless ruts against the soft forest floor before he was groaning into your wetness, coming in powerful spurts inside his loincloth—all without being touched.
And now, as Lo’ak enveloped you once again in his teasing embrace, skillfully flicking his tongue in a wet stripe up your center before zeroing in on the sensitive nub at your front, you felt as entirely blissed out as he did during that first time.
As Lo’ak continued his deliciously tormenting work, exploring every contour with practiced devotion, you found yourself powerless against the rising tide of euphoria.
He’d barely been at it for more than a minute or two before you could sense the rising tension within your core and the trembling of your legs—telltale signs of your impending climax.
But you didn’t want to finish like that. Given the tender, emotional exchange of words you’d experienced together for the first time, you wanted to finish as one, harmoniously intertwined in a mutual dance of ecstasy.
You needed Lo’ak inside of you, so close that he could never leave, so deeply intertwined with you that it would be impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. It wasn’t merely about physical closeness; it was about forging a new kind of bond with Lo'ak.
To make Tsaheylu was to embrace a wholly different plane of affection. It was all-consuming and intense. The very idea of forming that neural connection with Lo'ak—sharing in his experiences and emotions, savoring every conceivable sensation together—left your heart pounding wildly in your chest.
As soon as that thought took shape in your mind, there was no turning back. You had set your heart on truly becoming one with Lo’ak—inseparable and forever bound together by love, entwining your lives like the intricate patterns woven into a delicate tapestry.
“Mmm, Lo’ak,” you called out tentatively, your voice wobbly from both the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body and the mere thought of finally making the bond with Lo’ak. 
However, Lo’ak seemed to interpret your call of his name as a sign of your continued pleasure, which wasn't entirely false.
He practically doubled his efforts as he increased the intensity with which he went down on you, slurping loudly and adding a finger that tenderly brushed against your clenching hole.
Your reaction was instinctive—a barely audible curse slipping past your lips as you inhaled sharply, just barely catching yourself before losing control completely. Frantically, you reached out and tugged on Lo’ak’s braids, using them as an anchor in a desperate attempt to draw him away from the dizzying height of ecstasy that threatened to consume you.
His yellow eyes grew wide in confusion as they darted over your face in search of some explanation for the sudden interruption. Finding yourself at a loss for words due to the intensity of his unwavering gaze, you struggled to articulate your thoughts.
Your heart thundered in your chest, pounding against your ribcage as you nervously contemplated the words about to leave your lips. 
Taking a deep breath, you began hesitantly, “I want us to finish together.”
You gently let your hand run down the back of Lo’ak’s head, continuing its path until it reached his arm. You tugged him closer to you until he had you caged beneath him, both of his arms planted firmly on the ground beside your head like a protective barrier.
Lo’ak’s face lit up with a radiant smile at your words. However, he was completely unprepared for what you would say next.
“Through Tsaheylu. Together,” you whispered almost inaudibly.
Your voice was so soft that one could easily have missed it, but Lo’ak’s eyes widened as if they were attempting to absorb the entirety of your statement. He had heard every single word loud and clear, and there was no doubt that he understood the significance of what you just proposed.
Lo’ak nodded emphatically, his chest rapidly rising and falling as his eyes wandered over your face, trying to determine for the second time that day whether this was reality or a dream.
“Yeah? You really want to?” He asked, his eyes filled with curiosity and hope, his eyebrows high on his forehead.
His hand tenderly reached out to brush away a stray strand of hair from your flushed face before gently cradling your jaw in a caring and familiar gesture of love. You mirrored his nod in response, silently conveying your mutual feelings and desires. At that moment, there was nothing else in the world that you wanted more than to make Tsaheylu with Lo’ak right there and then.
The atmosphere between the two of you was electric and palpable. A mixture of anticipation, passion, and unwavering trust laced the air.
Lo’ak leaned in closer, slowly bringing his face down to yours. Your lips met in a soft embrace—an innocent yet intoxicating kiss that was worlds apart from your previous messy and heated exchange. It was a testament to the deepening connection between the two of you, one filled with unspoken love, desire, and trust.
The emotions stirred by the simple act swirled around you like an invisible current, further cementing the bond that had formed throughout your time together. As Lo’ak’s lips gently brushed against yours, it seemed as though time had slowed down. There was no rush; no urgency had come into play when everything felt so perfectly crafted for the scene at hand.
The moment was intense, almost palpable, as you felt like your heart was on the verge of bursting when Lo’ak pulled back from your entwined lips, only to reach behind him and retrieve his braided queue. He swiftly pulled it over his shoulder, and as he held it up between the two of you, the dark hairs at the tip cascaded gracefully to the side, revealing the delicate pink tendrils that seemed to dance in anticipation.
You had seen Lo’ak do it countless times before—when he’d mount his ikran, when he’d ride the direhorses, when he’d connect to the Tree of Souls. Despite the familiarity, you found yourself marveling at the mesmerizing sight. This time was different, and the significance of what was about to happen hit you like a bucket of cold water.
By connecting in mind and spirit, Lo’ak would share all that he was with you—each memory enlivened with vibrant detail; every emotion given depth and nuance; all senses heightened and magnified beyond any experience you could have ever imagined.
And now the moment had finally arrived, the pivotal point in your relationship where you and Lo’ak were about to link queues and become one, mated for life.
With that thought in mind, you quickly shifted, momentarily lifting your back from the ground so you could seize hold of your queue.
Your hand shook with nervous excitement as you reached it out towards Lo’ak’s, your entire being ablaze with anticipation. You couldn’t help but wonder what the connection would feel like, how the essence of another living, breathing person would seep into the very depths of your soul.
As the tendrils of your queue edged closer to Lo’ak’s, they finally intertwined, sending an almost electric jolt through every fiber of your being. 
You could feel the presence of another living, breathing entity residing deep within your soul, as though you had welcomed in a part of yourself that had been missing all along. It was as if every fiber of your being was united with his in a timeless bond.
You hadn’t even realized that your eyes had fluttered closed.
When you finally opened them again and let reality return, the first thing you sought was Lo’ak’s gaze. 
And there he was, staring intensely at you, his dark pupils dilated wide in awe and wonder. His breath was shaky as it fanned across your face, a shared acknowledgment of the incredible experience that had just unfolded between you two.
The sensation was beyond anything you’d ever experienced before.
You could feel everything. Every single thing. The pounding of his heart seemed to reverberate within your very being, its rhythm unmistakable and powerful. It was as if every breath he took inhaled a part of you, and each exhale released a warmth that spread throughout your entire body, all in perfect sync.
And it wasn’t just his physical presence that became entwined with yours. His thoughts raced within your mind. The shared experiences birthed a flurry of emotions—pure love, affection, and desire—that poured into you. It was as if you could experience the entire spectrum of his emotions all at once.
The pleasure coursing through him fueled your own tenfold, creating an indescribable sensation that beckoned from deep within your soul. It was a pulsing, throbbing need centered between your legs, more powerful than anything you’d experienced even during the peak of your heat cycle.
Driven by instinct and a primal need for release, you wrapped your legs around Lo’ak’s waist, seeking any form of friction available to ease the mounting pressure. 
And though you knew damn well it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy either of you completely, even that slightest contact seemed to amplify everything happening between the two of you.
Almost as if orchestrated by fate, you both found yourselves moaning in unison at the feeling of sheer pleasure from the brief contact, a guttural sound born from the depths of pure ecstasy. The sensation was so intense and all-consuming that it almost knocked the air from your lungs.
“Shit, y/n,” Lo’ak groaned, the muscles in his jaw tightening as he tried to hold himself together. He firmly gripped your waist for support while you both struggled to catch your breath.
For a while, there was nothing but the sound of your combined labored breathing filling the air, mingling together and growing progressively louder as you continued to grind yourself against Lo’ak’s clothed front. You could feel how hard he was with each press of his length against your soaked core. 
“Get this thing off,” you mumbled, blindly searching with your hands to get a grip on his loincloth, because why was he still clothed and not splitting you in half at that very moment?
Lo’ak understood your urgency and quickly moved to get rid of the garment in question. He untied the knot from around his waist with haste, allowing his loincloth to drop unceremoniously to the floor beneath him and finally expose his throbbing length.
The sight before you was mesmerizing. His cock seemed to sway in front of your eyes, as if calling out to you. It was already so full, the tip dark and leaking a steady trickle of precum.
Without hesitation, Lo’ak gently nudged your legs further apart using his knees, leaving you completely exposed to him once again. He firmly gripped himself, unable to resist the urge to slowly buck his hips into his clenched fist. 
Your head, which had been lifted off the ground so you could fully appreciate Lo’ak in all his unclothed glory, abruptly fell back to the ground with a loud and what should’ve definitely been a painful thud. However, the sensation of pain didn’t even register in your mind.
You were entirely consumed by the incredible pleasure coursing through Lo’ak’s body, a pleasure that rippled throughout your being through the bond with such an overwhelming intensity that it elicited a broken moan from your lips.
Breathlessly, you began to speak, “Oh my...” but the words were cut off by the sudden feeling of Lo’ak’s tip brushing teasingly against your swollen nub of nerves, tracing a tantalizing path from your clit along your slickened folds, and pushing you closer to the brink of insanity.
The anticipation continued to build, stretching out the moment and making it seem like an eternity as you both danced on the precipice of pleasure—every touch, every whispered word drawing you further in while heightening the emotional connection between you two.
Lo’ak leaned down to his favorite spot: the tiny, delicate jut where your neck met your shoulder. He sucked a bruising kiss into your skin, all the while continuing the slow, borderline sadistic slide of his cockhead against your front.
With each tantalizing nudge, his grunts echoed against the soft flesh of your neck, reverberating throughout your body. 
Desperate for more, you managed to gasp breathlessly through the haze of pleasure. “Inside, Lo’ak. Please, I need you.”
At last, it seemed as though your plea had broken through to him.
Lo’ak seemed to snap back into focus from his euphoric daze, finally pulling away from your neck. Licking his lips in anticipation, he nodded in agreement. 
“Yeah. Need you too,” he rasped out.
His gaze flickered between your flushed face and the spot between your legs where he’d been teasing you mercilessly, back and forth, as if he couldn’t get enough of observing every tiny movement you made. His rapt attention seemed to hang on your every labored breath, each moan and whimper that escaped your lips.
Finally, Lo’ak cautiously started to make his way inside of you.
Your eyes clamped shut as your forehead crinkled in reaction to the familiar yet still startling stretch. 
You mentally chastised yourself for every time you’d obliviously joked about how small he probably was, how his extra finger probably only existed to compensate for what he was lacking in other areas. Your smug ignorance seemed laughable now, as it was clear that your prior words were wholly mistaken.
He was anything but small. His size was, by all accounts, definitely more than substantial. That much was evident, as reiterated by the burning stretch of your walls each time Lo’ak would initially sink into you. You probably would never get used to it.
Lo'ak could’ve been annoyingly conceited about it. He could’ve laughed at the look on your face and made you endure the full brunt of his size all at once, because that was honestly what you deserved. It would’ve been a taste of your own medicine considering the past teases you’d ignorantly thrown his way. 
But, despite it all, he didn’t.
He was always so soft, so gentle about it, handling the situation delicately and never failing to check in on your well-being—just as he was doing now.
“You okay? You have to tell me if it’s too much,” he said softly, his thumb gently brushing across the inside of your thigh. His eyes darted across your face, searching every inch for any hint of discomfort.
Despite the uncertainty in his words, you were sure that he could feel the extent of your pleasure. Through your neural connection, he definitely had to have known how much you liked it when he stretched you open.
With some effort, you peeled your eyes open, staring up at Lo’ak with a half-lidded look of languid satisfaction. Your head shook from side to side as a contented grin formed on your lips. 
“No,” came the breathy reply, “it’s so good. Love how full you make me feel.”
And with that, you pushed yourself even further onto Lo’ak's length, continuing until you felt no space left between you; his hips pressed snugly against your front. The sensation of him being completely inside of you filled your heart with joy, and a gentle nudge against your cervix confirmed that he was deeply connected to you in every way imaginable.
Lo’ak pressed his chest against yours, allowing the warmth of your bodies to merge as one. His forehead tenderly touched yours, and you both closed your eyes, fully immersed in the moment.
Time seemed to stand still as you both indulged in the bliss of being as close as possible, physically and emotionally connected like never before. It was a sensation that could never truly be captured in words.
Lo’ak moved ever so slightly from your intimate embrace, pulling out only to ease himself back into you purposefully. It was as if he were guiding you on a journey to another world, one where the two of you floated seamlessly through space and time.
He fucked you slow and sweet with tiny, measured thrusts that mirrored the tempo of your heartbeats, synchronized by the undeniable connection between you. The mutual dance of love continued with deliberate grace as Lo’ak led the way with his gentle and controlled movements. It was that intense physical expression of love that made it impossible to break from the embrace. 
Your lips languidly grazed against each other's—just mere whispers of breathy, open-mouthed kisses that tasted like love itself.
As your intimacy built to a crescendo, so did your readiness to accommodate him completely. You were so wet, and you welcomed each gentle slide of his cock with ease, your bodies effortlessly melding together as one. You lovingly opened up for him, enveloping him whole with passion and tenderness.
It wasn’t hard and fast like you sometimes inevitably went at it with each other. Those instances took place hastily, either in between grueling training sessions or hidden in quiet corners of Hometree late at night. In those fleeting moments, you were constantly on high alert and trying to keep quiet. Every breath carried a sense of urgency and anticipation, as if someone might discover your intimate secret at any second.
However, things were different now. There was no sense of urgency. There were no watchful eyes, no impending duties or responsibilities that you’d had to run off to.
It was just you and Lo’ak, connected in the deepest manner conceivable—physically and emotionally united in the most intimate way possible.
As you lay there together in that beautiful moment, Lo’ak continued to whisper tender words of appreciation that seemed to make their way up your spine like tiny sparks, sending shivers of pure bliss up your spine. It felt as if his gentle, breathy little praises had some kind of magical property, tracing the path along your neural whip and leaving sparks of sensitivity all throughout your body.
He continued to fervently whisper sweet praises—"just like that" and “so good, y/n”, and each one made you feel even more entranced by the newfound connection you shared. You were convinced that his voice alone had the power to make you surrender completely and melt into the floor beneath you.
You were at a loss, unsure of what to do with your hands. They stretched aimlessly above your head, with your fingers absentmindedly plucking and tearing blades of grass from the ground beneath you. 
You finally reached out toward Lo’ak, hooking your arms beneath his and clutching at his back as if attempting to anchor yourself into some semblance of reality. His movements seemed to cut through you, each thrust driving a wedge deep within your core that further solidified the bond shared between the two of you.
“I love you so much,” Lo’ak murmured into your mouth, his grip on your waist growing stronger to emphasize the undeniable sincerity behind his words. He continued, almost manic in his declaration, “Fuck, I love you. You have no idea.”
His voice was low and throaty, and you could only respond with a moan of unconditional agreement. It felt as though once he had uttered those three powerful words, it was no longer enough for him to simply think or feel the intensity of his love for you—he had to say it aloud, over and over again.
It wasn’t as if the two of you had been deliberately or even knowingly avoiding saying those words until now.
You obviously loved each other and were obviously in love with each other for as long as you could remember. However, your journey began as best friends and remained that way for such a long time that you didn’t really know how to approach the affectionate verbal confession until now. It was as if uttering those special words might somehow disturb the delicate balance between friendship and romantic love that the two of you had maintained almost effortlessly for so long.
Sure, physical affection was something you’d grown comfortable with. The intimacy of sex with Lo’ak was electric, and it left you both breathless. Nonetheless, the foundation of friendship you had built over the years remained strong and unwavering. 
The very fact that you were not only lovers but also best friends added an intricate layer of complexity to your still-new relationship. It was exciting yet puzzling at the same time, figuring out how to balance your undeniable love for one another with the familiarity that came with years of close-knit friendship.
At times, you both found yourselves grappling with the delicate balance between foolhardy banter and serious talk about your relationship.
You’d often resort to flustered, stuttering wrecks whenever anyone around you would steer your conversation toward topics like mating or raising children together. It was clear that both of you deeply desired those things, but figuring out how to effectively communicate your feelings and intentions was still a work in progress.
And in all those months since you'd been courting, you just hadn’t yet learned how to express your affection for one another in its purest, verbal form.
Sure, Lo’ak would often share the things that he loved about you: “I love your eyes...”; “I love how much you care about everyone around you, even though you pretend like you don’t...”; “I love the way you look on top of me...”—yet despite all the passionate declarations, the simple utterance of those three potent words remained an unspoken truth between the two of you.
It was just another one of those things that the two of you danced around until one of you was bold enough to face it head-on. And it definitely hadn’t been the first time, as you recalled how you’d skirted around your feelings for each other for years before finally admitting them to each other only a few months ago.
That was precisely why the phrase “I love you” carried such monumental weight each time it escaped from Lo’ak’s lips right in front of you.
Those three little words felt like a sacred hymn that touched your very soul. You savored every syllable, allowing his tender words to envelop you, allowing his warm breath to caress your lips—just a hair’s breadth apart from his.
You could practically feel the warmth of his love emanating from every touch, each caress sending shivers down your spine. Simultaneously, the heat in your core intensified, amplified by a heady concoction of love and lust. You became increasingly aware that you weren’t going to be able to last much longer. It was all so intense.
Yet even amidst the whirlwind of raw emotion and overwhelming passion, you found yourself wishing that the breathtaking moment could stretch on into infinity. The connection shared between you and Lo’ak was so powerful and awe-inspiring that the thought of it ending seemed unfathomable.
“Fuckfuckfuck Lo'ak, I’m gonna—” You barely choked out the warning, your words probably indecipherable as your entire world seemed to blur and your vision whited out around the edges. Your body went rigid, your walls clenching around Lo’ak so tight in a series of spasms that left him stuttering his thrusts to a halt.
He threw his head back in a deep moan and held onto every last bit of control he had left, trying his best not to spill inside of you in that overwhelming moment. Despite the literal death grip you had on him, he managed to hold on for just a bit longer.
Through it all, Lo'ak covered your face in soft, tender kisses as a wave of pleasure washed over you. Your body felt light and blissfully exhausted under Lo’ak’s tender and unrelenting affection. You felt utterly spent under his unwavering care.
As your high finally started to subside, all that remained was a lingering, trembling sensation running through your body. 
Lying there with Lo’ak still fully enveloped around and within you, all you could do was weakly reach up and run a shaky hand through his braids, holding him close to you until you slowly came back to your senses.
In the aftermath of your intense orgasm, you could unmistakably sense the desire emanating from every fiber of Lo’ak’s being through your bond. He was holding himself back, trying to stabilize his frantic heartbeat.
Both of you had mutually (and flusteredly) agreed that you weren’t ready for children anytime soon, both still young and wanting to take your time with one another. You wanted to cherish every moment with Lo'ak in the honeymoon-like phase of your relationship for a few more precious years before even entertaining the thought of building a rambunctious herd of little kids.
With that mutual agreement in mind, you gingerly unfurled your legs from Lo’ak’s waist, keenly observing his every move as he painstakingly pulled out of your tight wetness.
With a final obscene popping sound, he finally withdrew completely, firmly gripping the base of his slickened shaft. His eyes squeezed shut, his head hung low, and his breath escaped in shallow puffs of air.
You propped yourself up on one elbow, reaching out with your free arm to swat Lo’ak’s hand away and get him off yourself. As your fingers curled around his length, a look of determination crossed your face.
Lo’ak leaned into the sensation of your tight grip, letting out a deep moan as he instinctively thrust into your fist to meet each of your pumps. 
You relished in the way Lo’ak went pliant under your fingers—his arms hanging limp at his sides and his head thrown back in overwhelming pleasure from just your slightest touch.
You sat up fully, instinctively steadying yourself with a firm grip on Lo’ak’s hip. You delicately brought your mouth to him, licking a wet line all along the length of his shaft, leisurely starting from the base and gliding up to the tip. 
The sudden sensation caught Lo’ak completely off guard, his eyes snapping open in surprise to just barely catch the sight of you taking the swollen head of his cock between your lips.
As you did so, your other hand moved in perfect synchrony, gripping and pumping at the base of his shaft. Your head skillfully bobbed up and down in a leisurely dance of pleasure as you took him deeper into your mouth.
The entire ordeal created a messy symphony of sound: a concoction of your own slick arousal, saliva, and his leaking precum forming an unmistakable wetness. But much to your delight, you loved every moment of the sensory overload—almost as much as you loved watching Lo’ak slowly fall apart above you.
Taking your time (as well as revenge for how cruelly slow Lo'ak had teased you earlier), you gently slid your mouth off his head with a wet, satisfying pop. As your hand continued to lazily fist his shaft, your eyes were completely captivated by his reactions, as if you were privy to a secret performance just for you.
He looked the same way he always did when you sucked him off—all disheveled, his cheeks flushed with passion and a series of low moans escaping his throat—and you loved it so much.
But even more so, you loved the intimate connection that allowed you to feel every emotion coursing through him: the boundless love, the fiery desire coursing through his veins, and the growing anticipation toward his climax. It was an exhilarating experience. It made you want to be the one to make him lose himself completely, just as he had done for you moments ago.
With purposeful intent, you guided Lo’ak back into your eager mouth, sending subtle vibrations coursing through his body by gently humming around his length and eliciting yet another groan from him. 
Carefully meeting each of his responses with enthusiasm and skill, you took him deeper and deeper into your mouth. Your movements became bolder, taking nearly all of him until he grazed the back of your throat before gradually sliding back up once more.
You repeated that motion once, then twice, before you heard Lo’ak calling out your name, desperately warning you that he was about to come.
You couldn’t help but smile when you felt Lo’ak twitch in your mouth. It was a familiar sign that he was about to spill every last drop of himself down your throat.
Lo’ak’s fingers gently found their way through your hair as he released a deep, guttural groan. He watched you through half-closed eyes as he came in sharp bursts into your eagerly awaiting mouth. 
Your enthusiasm was unrestrained as you swallowed around him, hungrily capturing every last drop of him. You practically sucked Lo’ak raw, leaving him gasping and whimpering from the overstimulation.
Eventually, you decided to show him some mercy as you slowly trailed your lips upward along his overly-sensitive shaft. Gently, you placed a tiny kiss on his tip, grinning like a madwoman at how Lo’ak’s eyes squeezed tightly shut, his abdominal muscles tensing in response to the sensitivity of your touch. 
With his eyes still shut, Lo’ak shook his head in disbelief, marveling at the power of your loving touch. 
It was so much more than just physical contact.
Tsaheylu made everything feel a million times more powerful, more intense. You couldn't help but feel a little light-headed from the sheer perfection of it all, almost as if you were floating.
Without any hesitation, you grabbed hold of Lo'ak's arm and pulled him down to the ground until both of you lay side-by-side, face-to-face, basking in the blissful afterglow of your shared intimacy.
You hooked a leg over Lo'ak's side, drawing him even closer to your body. He responded with his own lingering touch, his hand confidently yet gently cradling your thigh as if it were second nature. It was a simple act of intimacy that somehow felt like so much more.
As you lay there in that tender embrace, your heartbeats synced as if they were dancing to the same rhythm. Soft smiles spread across your faces, and everything around you seemed to blur out of focus. It was just the two of you at that moment, wrapped up in the delicate threads of the bond that interwove between each of your shared glances.
Though your communications were mostly unspoken in that moment, it didn't matter. The way your eyes locked together and the raw emotion displayed on your faces told an entire story on their own—one of love, trust, and vulnerability. It was a conversation without words that could be understood by anyone who had ever experienced connection as powerful as Tsaheylu.
Your chest tightened at the undeniable joy that illuminated Lo'ak's face. His eyes sparkled with pure elation, and you were sure your face mirrored the exact same expression.
You were one—mated for life—and you couldn’t be happier.
The concept of time seemed to vanish into thin air as you remained entwined, reveling in the unmatched closeness. The intimate connection enveloped you like a warm blanket.
Lo'ak's voice came as a welcome interruption to the tranquility of the moment.
"Can I say it again?” 
Completely spent and practically half-asleep nestled within Lo'ak's arms, you could only muster a faint 'hmm?' in response to his question. You closed your eyes and burrowed yourself further into his embrace. He was so warm.
You felt the soft vibrations of Lo'ak's laughter within your body, resonating deep within your chest. He was well aware of how you would always go all quiet and soft after sex. He also knew that you would drift off to sleep right there in the middle of the forest, completely bare, if he let you. He wasn’t going to let you.
"That I love you," he murmured, reaching out to tuck your hair back in place behind your ear. His fingers continued their journey to the nape of your neck, where they lovingly grazed the wispy hairs there. His touch was unimaginably delicate and tender; it was almost unbearable.
"Are you planning to ask for my permission every single time you want to say it?" You asked sleepily, the corners of your mouth lifting into a smile at the thought. You knew deep down that he would actually do it, and his response only solidified your conviction.
"If you want me to," he replied genuinely, his voice almost a whisper.
You opened your eyes, only to roll them at the earnest expression painted across his face, despite the way his words made your heart flutter. He was so endearing, so fucking adorable, you wanted to tease him for it. To be honest, you couldn't pinpoint when the shift happened—the moment he evolved from your foolhardy best friend into the still foolhardy, but also tender-hearted and affectionate man laid out before you.
"You don't have to," you began softly, stretching out your arm to take hold of Lo'ak's hand.
Slowly, you guided his hand towards yourself, pressing his open palm directly over your chest. Right over the rhythmic beat of your heart.
"I can feel it. In here," you whispered to him, making sure to emphasize the sincerity of your words by giving his hand a gentle yet meaningful squeeze. For a few seconds, the two of you remained like that. Silent, the only sound being that of your racing heartbeats.
Love—the breathtakingly powerful emotion—washed over you like a tidal wave as you lay there, your heart racing in your chest. Your heart beat with a fervor that mirrored the intensity of your mutual affection. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. The love was a beautifully combined force; it belonged to both you and Lo'ak equally. 
The love vibrated deep within you. It surrounded you with its warmth and energy. It felt as if every fiber of your being was completely saturated with the incredible emotion, connecting the two of you with an undeniable bond. You were so deeply in love, and you knew Lo'ak could feel it just as strongly through every frantic beat of your heart.
As your hand gradually loosened its grip on Lo'ak's, his own fingers remained unwaveringly pressed against your chest, right above your heart. He seemed entranced, as though attempting to imprint every pulsating beat and the faintest echo of your heart beneath his palm into his memory. Time seemed to slow, as if granting him the chance to capture every minute detail.
He devoured every intricate aspect, each subtle expression that adorned you. And as Lo'ak gazed upon you with the warmest, most affectionate eyes, a tender smile of pure adoration spread softly across his lips. His entire demeanor conveyed a simple yet profound message—one that spoke of love and devotion beyond anything imaginable.
“You know I’m still gonna say it,” Lo’ak declared with a wide, boyish grin. “Every single day, for the rest of my life.” 
The warmth that filled the air between you intensified as his grip on your waist tightened, drawing you closer to him as if trying to physically absorb the moment. His lips brushed against your temple in a slow, lingering kiss that seemed to carry the weight of his vow.
He meant what he said, and you knew that without a doubt. 
You reveled in the feeling of his breath on your skin and the steady heartbeat that echoed against your chest. The simple pleasure was enough to make you giddy with happiness about the prospect of your future together.
As if reading your thoughts, Lo’ak squeezed you gently and whispered those cherished words into your ear over and over again, like a promise. 
end
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Taglist <3:
@vanillawhale, @strawberryclouds22, @countryandsweetbabygirl, @kurogxrix, @yunonaneko, @ahsatan785, @lauratstrange, @lwesodra, @kaealowri, @starboyloak, @thefirst-ofus
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Previously: Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Chapter V, Chapter VI
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romaine2424 · 21 days
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For the Love of WIPs (Drarry style)
There's a lot of things I miss about LJ, but right up there was the weekly posting of the H/D Prophet run by @sassy-cissa and groovelover at the conclusion. It began posting in 2005 and It stopped posting in 2021. I know it was a ton of work for the mods to run it, but it truly kept Drarry fandom informed of all the one-shot fics, art released that week, and chapter updates for current Drarry WIPs, recs, etc... Also listed were the fests and what state they were in. Take a look at the links I posted above and see all the goodness. It was very centralized. *sigh happy times*
What made me think of this was I love reading Drarry WIPs but keep finding recent chapter fics that I missed while being posted and only found them completed and others that I'm currently reading but found by chance.
So, I thought I'd share the WIPs I'm keeping track of and those that have been completed recently that I've read.
Notes: Most WIPs (chapter fics) are long fics (over 50K and up to 1M). There are readers that see some lengths of completed fics and wince. That is one reason why chapters are often released weekly or whenever, so you have digestible amounts (5-15K). Sometimes as an author I feel in a Catch 22, readers don't have time to read long fics, but then won't read a WIP until completed. LOL
Below the cut are WIPs that I've read and that have been recently completed. I'll post ongoing WIPs that I'm reading tomorrow! I'm not listing the Warning and Tags for these fics as I'll leave that up for you to decide on what to read or not. But, there are a few here that do have strong warnings in the tags and/or Author Notes. One final note: I'm listing WIPs (chapter fics) that were posted over a time period, not completed chapter fics that were listed on one date as a whole. OMG this is a long post!
Recently completed Drarry WIPs
Passing Stranger (53K) by @lettersbyelise This just completed yesterday! I have 2 chapters left to read. :) Summary: Five years after the war, Harry, listless and depressed, stumbles upon Draco Malfoy playing the violin in an underground bar in Muggle London. The catch? Draco lost his memories five years ago. Ignoring his friends’ advice, Harry befriends an unwitting Draco, overlooking the fact that their mutual attraction might not survive if Draco’s memories return. Comment: Haven't quite finished but I love, love, the Draco in this fic. You could feel that this is Draco stripped of all the heavy responsibilities he grew up with including having a bigoted father. The tension is palpable with Harry being attracted to this Draco but feeling that Draco needs to be Draco Malfoy to move forward. *ugh*. 2. The Boy from the Piano Shop (90.5K) by @soliblomst completed 2/25/24. Summary: After going blind in a reckless attempt to avenge Ginny's death, Harry battles with severe depression. One day, he stumbles upon a quaint piano restoration shop in the heart of London and meets the owner, a kindly old man, and his introverted young apprentice, whose voice sounds strangely familiar. As Harry and Draco slowly reconnect through private piano lessons, the small workshop becomes Harry's refuge, offering him a glimmer of hope in a world without eyes. Set five years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Comment: I binged this fic bad!!! There is so much to love in this fic but one of the standouts is the OC Richard. You will love him, too. The gradual build up of Drarry is so well done. The dealing with Harry's depression is so raw and real. No cutting of corners. The ending was one of the best I've read in celebrating what is to come for Harry and Draco. And Draco, in the final scene will make you cry *happy tears*. 3. The Star Splitter (219K) by @oflights completed 3/22/24. Summary: On a routine time travel assignment to the past, Draco stumbles upon 7-year-old Harry Potter and witnesses his neglect and mistreatment by the Dursleys. In the moment, there is only one solution, even if it goes against all his training as a Time Agent: he has to bring Harry back to the future with him. In which Draco burns his life down for the sake of his former school rival. Comment: I think I followed this one from the start as I do everything @oflights! OMG the action, the tenseness, the magical lore, the worldbuilding, and the sweetness of Draco raising young Harry will have you banging that "next chapter" button. The Drarry in this happens slowly and has its ups and downs but so so worth the wait. The bond is strong and at the end and you will recognize and cheer for this Harry who says Fuck it all, I ain't letting this go.
4. Spotlight (All Eyes on Us) (58K) by @pixiedunhoff completed 3/15/24. This is the 5th and final installment of the Dark Arts to Dance Floor Series (317K) which began posting in July '23. Spotlight Summary: The spotlight can scorch.
“Has the wizarding world ever seen a couple quite like Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter? Though the pair remain frustratingly private and out of the spotlight, hardly ever seen in public together, our readers understandably demand to know more.
‘They’re happy together,’ Minister of Magic Hermione Granger exclusively tells the Prophet, before quickly ducking into a meeting for Squib Rights. ‘They’re so very happy.’”
- Daily Prophet, 2 February 2018 Comment: Pixie says in the notes, you may only need to read the 4th installment to completely get this fic, but hell, I say read them all. Pixie is newer to Drarry writing (longtime reader). I love the casualness and realness of the characters and how they interact. In Spotlight they so capture the feel of being backstage to a 'music rock star' (in the Muggle world) and on the rise in the magical one. As you're reading this fic, it might come across as being a lighter AU type fic, but don't be fooled there is much depth and layers upon layers to both Harry and Draco. Pixie just eases you into it. There were points that I just had to stop reading for a moment and digest exactly what was going on. Pixie will be on my Current WIP list, too! 5. Skybound (61K) by @xanthippe74 Summary: No matter how much Harry Potter wanted to believe he’d left danger behind when the war ended, it found him again anyway. All he had to do was step out his own front door on a Tuesday morning. A Drarry re-imagining of Howl’s Moving Castle.
Comment: I haven't finished this one, yet, but wanted to list it here. It's 6 chapters and I'm only 2 chapters in, but holy hell what world building and magical lore (and one very nasty curse). I'm not familiar with the original source, but that's okay. I'm very happy being carried along in one floating house! I'm a big fan of @xanthippe74 and am fully confident I'll love this as much as the author's other stories. Okay, I'll be back tomorrow with a list of currently posting Drarry WIPs, including two stinging hot A/B/Os, but in very different ways.
Enjoy!
Rom
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titikawai · 1 year
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They need to address Bo’s trauma
Alright so this is going to be a super long essay about Bo’s trauma as I have been doing some research for the next chapters of my fic Mind Games. I went through her background and thought I would share with you my headcanons surrounding that. I especially realized that with her deaging came quite heavy consequences and thought we could discuss them. 
There are of course going to be HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS : Grief, Grooming, SA, anxiety, depression, s*ic*de. DISCLAIMER I am no therapist so this is just me drawing from some of my how experiences with trauma and doing some researches online. 
Please know your limits and do not attempt to read this if you feel uneasy around those topics, I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone. Same goes with the potential comments that will be left under this post
So first, I’ll start with the implications of deaging Bo-Katan as they did. When we watch Clone Wars, we are led to understand that she is Satine’s younger sister but there are no indications on her age. If we think about it logically, there would probably be around an age gap of maximum 5 years between them. However, as many already pointed out, it would mean that she’d be around 60 years old in the third season of the Mandalorian. I watched a few of Katee Sackhof’s interview where she was saying that Bo-Katan was way younger that many thought she was. Indeed, with her being cast for Bo and Rosario Dawson for Ahsoka, I figured that it probably that the two were probably around the same age in CW, hence them becoming “friends” starting 7th season. It thus means that she probably was in her late teens or early twenties. However, the directors’ decision to deage her has quite huge implications : 
 Headcanons : 
* First of all, it means that there was quite a huge age gap between Satine and her sister: 15 to 20 years approximately
· We figured from the first episodes of season 3 that Bo-Katan has known her Dad and that he fought and died in the Great Mandalorian civil war. There was no mention of her mom so I just assume she died in childbirth of during the civil war as well. 
·  When her dad died, Satine became duchess of Mandalore and probably didn’t have time to personally take care of such a young sister, especially considering that she went under Qui-Gon and Obi Wan’s protection. The latter never met her so it means that she probably stayed on Mandalore with her nannies or relatives, witnessing the horros of the Civil war. She probably felt abandoned by her sister. She probably wished the war to end as soon as possible (some have theorized that her dad probably taught her how to fight so she probably wasn’t scared of using violence to defend her planet), explaining why she never understood why her sister was a pacifist.
· I am a strong believer in Satine being Korkie’s mom (I mean there is no third sister). So it means that Bo-Katan was probably a child when her big sister got pregnant with Obi-Wan. Probably, she witnessed her sister going into hidding to have her baby to try and not become a pariah. I figure this would explain Bo-Katan’s resentment against Jedis and particularly Obi-Wan as he didn’t reach out to her sister nor stepped up for her nephew (with whom there isn’t such a big age gap)
·       So, I have seen this theory going around the internet and read it in some fanfics. It makes sense to me and would explain many things in Bo-Katan’s behaviour. THIS IS WHERE THE TW BEGINS (Grooming) : I figured that Bo-Katan probably met Pre Vizsla after the civil war as he was part of the clan of the enemy. He probably quickly became her mentor, an authority figure that she felt like could replace her dad (she definitely has daddy issues). He probably made her feel understood and special, filling the whole of her parents and Satine’s absence. I honestly believe in the grooming theory saying that he manipulated her into a relationship and death watch to take over the throne of Mandalore taking advantage of her status as the duchess’ sister (as he knew it would humiliate the latter). 
·        TW (SA) Bo probably became very secretive and broke contact with her sister, probably experiencing quite a lot of anxiety : as groomed individuals cannot give consent she was victim of SA. One proof of that would be that “imfamous” butt slap she gave Ahsoka upon meeting her (which is also SA). This sexualized behaviour is not appropriate for a teen or young adult. 
*        Her exposure to this type of trauma probably made her feel like she felt invicible to danger and that is when she developed a violent, criminal behaviour (let’s not forget she participated in the burning of a village and the enslavement of its inhabitants). 
·        Then Pre Vizsla died by the hands of Darth Maul and she started feeling  grief but also probably self doubt, being hit with what she had done and went back to her sister.  She did horrible things while in DW and probably enjoyed them back then through her broken perception of things.
·        Then Satine died and she felt guilty for her death because obviously she she betrayed her. This changed her deeply as she was bombarded with her overwhelming feelings of blame, regret, guilt and confusion, probably struggling with TW drug or alcohol abuse, self harm or suicidal thoughts. 
·        She ended up leading her people, most of them probably hating her for what happened to their planet, Pre Vizsla and her sister, for Maul and of course later, the Purge… She was not her sister and I don’t think that she had ever thought through becoming the duchess of Mandalore. She definitely wanted the power but probably was not ready for that responsibility. Her people respected her because she was royalty, nothing more. They did not have love for her, nor respect : hence why they all left her once she didn’t have the darksaber anymore.
·        All those events had a huge impact on her adult life considering she had lost the majority of people she cared for and struggled to build strong and healthy relationships
She definitely struggles to be vulnerable around others tie that scene with Grogu where she asks him what he is looking at in episode 2) 
·        When it comes to romantic relationships, I picture her having an avoidant attachment style used her sex appeal as a tool to manipulate men AND women (we stan a bisexual queen), to feel in control. I feel like if she started feeling someone catching feelings for her, she would flee (that’s probably what happened with Axe as many of us assume that he was in love with her and was her ex FWB because of his bitterness and her reluctance when talking about him). 
 ·        When it comes to her relationship with Din (sorry I’m a Dinbo shipper) I feel like when she met him he struck her as really different to the other guys she met : 
-first because she had been forced to reflect on her past and draw lessons from it while she was alone on Sundary for two years
-then because he wore a helmet : so she did not see his face and struggled to sexualize him which forced her to focus on who he is inside and really bond with him on an intimate level (here I speak of real emotional intimacy and not sex)
- because he, himself, did not consider her as a piece of meat (I picture Din as asexual or demi-sexual) and he quickly showed her he cared about her and not her title, showing true loyalty to her for the first time in forever (except from her relationship with Ursa Wren and Ahsoka, I assume she didn’t have very deep friendships, most of them probably being shallow)
-because of Grogu, Din is starting to shift from an avoidant attachment style to a secure one and is way less guarded than in the first season
-so I guess she is intriged by this new form of intimacy with him, the way she feels at ease with him and not feel like she need to be hypervigilant (the scene in the cave where they sit super close shows that). Both of them lost their parents quite young and I feel like it could be a shared experience they could bond over or already have unconsciously. 
When it comes to her relationship with Ahsoka : 
PLS WRITTERS I BEG OF YOU show me a real healthy female relationship without toxicity and where they support each other no matter what. 
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