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#is there a fucking HIT OUT ON ME OR SMTH
satsuha · 9 months
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lemongogo · 6 months
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hi
#yall ths art block is so bad its actually making me so stressed out😭😭😭#its been awful plenty of times before BUT THISSS???IT FEELS NEVER ENDINGGG#so fucking frustrating-__- and i was finally working on smth i had started to like yday#but i hit this mid point where i didnt know How 2 break thru from like .. rough > finished#and im like T__T . brah . head in my hands#IDK WHAT TO DOOOOOOO . < lamenting . < woe is me .#sry i luv talking abt it . its therapeutic tbh . what do u guys do when u are in this position#i also try to go back to basics and j do gesture studies until i feel more capable#but im like shakig the bars of my cage . let me do smt fun again. please ❤️ PLEASEE ❤️#i think part of it is also imposter syndrome whre like .. u see so many people u look up to doing so many cool things w their art#and its like . falling back into the trap of comparison and feeling like nothing u make can replicate the feeling of seeing those other#things ykwim🤔#sick in da head . i think its also a twt issue#like ever since i started posting on there ive been feeling like i have 2 make . quote unquote good things which . obviously dookie sentimen#bc any art is objectively good art there isnt like . U CANT BE BAD YKWIM HELP#but when i j posted to tumblr it was like . u send it off like slapping a horse on the ass and u see it ride away and its so lowkey#and fun.. the community here is so muchc fun .. j dont feel pressured here#smiles sweetly#<gi influence#maybe ill delete the app 4 a while until i feel normal again#guys we need to kill all social media#guys we need to go back to drawing sheep on rocks (<giotto ref(#if i had 2 elaborate ig it feels like . i am following the path of most resistance -__- like wading hesdstrong in2 waves that keep pushing#me back . theres so much i want to do Wish i could do but its like damn i can barely draw like two complete things over the course of 2-3 mo#from how HARD IT ISSS🚶and my aphantasia compounds it . fumbling arnd in a dark room hoping smth sticks#graa.. i think its the realization that i couldnt ever do art professionally bc im such an obstinate artist T_T#tbh saying all this now its like looking up in2 the eyes of all my art insecurities looming over me#CASTING 100 FT SHADOWWWW🧍#whteve . check back on me in 2 months hopefully i feel normal ab it then
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doctorwhoisadhd · 2 months
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who in the torchwood team would hate nardole the most.
#torchwood#doctor who#nardole#dr who#dw#cannot figure it out#the one (1) thing im sure of is this: andy and nardole would get along SO well. they would LOVE each other. they meet like‚ ONE time in the#presence of at least one torchwood team member & like INSTANTLY hit it off in the background while whoever it is investigates smth and when#theyre done they come back to find nardole nd andy having a very quietly intense discussion abt smth extremely mundane & the team member#is like that photo of ben affleck with a cigarette. & then gwen finds out later that nardole and andy meet up every week to play mah-jong#also nardole would NOT fuck andy theyre just friends. and both of them get defensive if anyone ever suggests it.#in particular nardoles response is: (in a high and mighty tone of voice) 'actually. i dont sleep with cops thank you.' andys like 'whats#that supposed to mean' (a little offended) and nardoles like 'no a-dog its just a bit too messy for me‚ what with the legal system and all.#i dont do lawyers either. beyond clingy you know how it is' and andys like 'yea you know what thats reasonable i guess'#ari opinion hour#also andy DOES NOT KNOW THIS but thats the only thing preventing nardole from trying to fuck him like a bird doing one of those#weird ass mating displays. thank god for this also because it means we are all spared from whatever That would be (which‚ awkward‚ mostly)#ALSO YES NARDOLE WOULD HAVE A NICKNAME FOR ANDY BY THE END OF THAT FIRST CONVERSATION. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
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beware my wine rants
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beanghostprincess · 6 months
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thinking about sanji and usopp arguing about something completely stupid. meaningless. it's not even worth the fight but they're both stubborn and trying to prove their point. usopp takes a step forward, only because. there's not really a reason behind it, he just moves.
and sanji twitches. tenses. his whole body stops because his whole world stops right there. he's used to fighting. with marimo. and used to take punches. like the ones zeff used to teach him a lesson but always taking care of him right after. so he always keeps his guard up. he's always expecting some pain, in any shape or form.
with usopp it's different. because why would he have to be prepared for a fight with the love of his life? especially when it's usopp the one we're talking about.
but usopp takes that step forward, and fear overcomes his body completely. because he used to not be scared of his dad. because there was a time when his brothers didn't beat him up, before realizing sanji was weak enough to do so.
and it's stupid and he notices right after. but usopp notices first.
they don't talk about it. sanji doesn't want to talk about it and usopp knows because the sniper has somehow learned what every single gesture he makes means. usopp laughs it off and apologizes (even though sanji is so damn sure he was the one who was wrong this time) and takes his hand. carefully. actually only leaving it close to sanji's for the cook to hold his first.
and it's nice. the warmth. being able to breathe. that iron mask was always freezing and suffocating.
they don't talk about it but usopp knows, somehow, and decides to hold him rather than to judge him or hit him or leave him. and it's such a dumb thought, now that he's holding his boyfriend's hand, because he would never do any of those things.
but usopp knows without knowing and loves him nevertheless. and maybe someday he'll explain everything to him, but right now holding him is more than enough for both of them.
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shima-draws · 8 months
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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mars-ipan · 4 months
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GODDD.
#marzivents#to preface. i am SLIGHTLY buzzed. as in i have had a single mimosa almost an hour ago#today there has been a… weird??? energy with the family??#my mom and dad are on two different frequencies today but like they’re managing so whatever#my brother and i have been normal i suppose#but we’ve been all together for a little bit to celebrate the new uear and such#clock hits 12. we celebrate. everybody has One mimosa. not a lot at all#that buzz hits me and i’m hanging out. i’m feeling good!#my brother says something or other and we start the motions of one of our go-to sibling disagreements you know the type#and my mother cuts me off says like ‘let’s all relax’ or whatever. i didn’t feel that angry but like?? sure? fine whatever#we stop and i move on. once again not a huge deal to me#then my dad does smth or other. my mom’s been razzing him all day so i decide alright i will also razz him. a little lighthearted teasing#it is NOTHING different from what i normally do. just slightly more frequent#and my dad goes ‘i can’t have an opinion on anything huh?’ and i- committed to the bit- go ‘no <3’ with a smile on my face#like i am simply wanting to fuck around!! the way you do with friends! that is all i am doing!#i get in some other thing with my brother for like .2 seconds before my mom tells us to ‘stop fighting’ again. alright cool#this sort of thing continues. and the air in the room becomes super tense for some goddamn reason???#eventually my dad heads to the garage and my brother follows. while they’re gone my mom tells me i need to cool it and i’m being aggressive#i???? huh???? what???#i was gonna turn to HER and crack a joke like ‘how do you get them to understand that loud doesn’t mean angry?’#because that’s an issue SHE has all the damn time! i was gonna turn to her and bond! but she says that before i can even start to#so my attempt to ease the remaining tension in the room is dead on arrival. in fact the room is even TENSER#maybe it was the champagne or smth but it just fucking got to me. i shut up and turn away and start trying to collect myself#i’m realizing two things. 1- my emotions are less in my control right now and i cannot collect myself here. 2- I Need To Fucking Scream#so i silently pack up and head to my room. my mom knows better and asks no questions#as i was typing this post my brother walks in. i shoo him out without words but he tries to ask questions so i just repeat until he gets it#i feel fucking insane. what the fuck did i DO???? i literally was just fucking razzing. i do that all the time#and sure. i was louder. and yeah it was probably slightly more razzing than i normally would. but i DO NOT FUCKING GET how those two things#would cause as MUCH of a reaction as they did!!! like. i . hello???#the rest is in the replies bc i am out of tags but i am not out of feelings
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hauntingblue · 23 days
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I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs
#momo must be so emotionally confused omg poor child. this guy says he is my father and treats me like his son and also this samurai who has#been acting like my father just died. and now i turned 28 and a dragon and i need to save this island or my shougnate will die. jesus#FUCKING ROB RUCCI!!! I SURE HOPE NOT ONE STRAY ATTACK REACHES THE ROOM FULL OF CP0 AGENTS!!!#now the government is going to invade wano AND TAKE ROBIN!!!!! ROB LUCCI DIEEEE!!!!! AND YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN!!!#now how tf did the heart pirates get there... who can fly on there or did they just tag along on momos tail#the dinosaur head snake???? hello?? qjdhakshsk and it worked.... sanji... 'thats what a brachiosaurus is!' well i do not think so....#wtf sanji.... so much of that wiggly dance he does with the heart eyes has brought him here...#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1053#poor killer man.... why doesnt he cut off the arm kid doesnt have... that should do it right???#jesus.... goodbye kid and law.... hawkins just hitting his head to a wall.... CUT OFF HIS ARM!!! oh no..... another self sacrificing mate..#YEAAHHH THE ARM!!!!! is he gonna take it and give it to kid akdjsksj OH HE TOOK THE STRAW DOLL!!! killer your brain is so huge..#the death card looking JUST like killer.... that was such a slay... they had this one thought out for a while.....#THE MUSIC!!! GOODBYE HAWKINS!!! KILLER OUTSERVED!!!! whats with the cutting of arms this arc.... kid now its your turn to slay (big mom)#episode 1054#sanji having an existential crisis and queen just: WELCOME TO THIS MOMSTER WORLD#having issues with his body transforming doesnt help with the transfem allegations#APOO IS STILL ALIVE???? CUT OFF HIS HEAD!!!!#i was gonna say KINEMON!!! BUT I KNOW ITS THAT FUCKING KANJURO!!!!!! nami drawing the moon on his asscheek akdjsksj#KIKU AND KINEMON ARE ALIVE??? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS THIS IS A TRAP!!! DON'T GIVE ME HOPE!!!#NOOOOOO THE CP0 IS IN ACTION TOO NOOOOOOOOO#they are breathing.... omg.... kiku..... ORICHI DIEEEE!!!!! i knew this couldn't end like this for her... i have been completely bamboozled#kinemon appearing like the first time... just legs.... amazing#how does big mom ikoku inside the castle are we insane... yamato can you like bite off kanjuros head off or smth... finish him off PLEASE#why do they have steel beams in kaido's castle. everything else is wood and stone. who designed this.#bepo being in law's mid episode animation akdjaksns.... thats really his beffo (bff) bepo#big mom being crushed by some beams doesn't sound right... kid should turn into magneto and start bloodbending... or repel her into the sea#episode 1055#episode 1056
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Did You Know That Lining An Entire Drawing That Relies Heavily On Strong Smooth Lines Is Very Difficult And Also Painful When You Must Use Your Fingers Instead Of Your Stupid Apple Pencil Which Decided To Die For The Holidays?
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le-scenariste · 2 months
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Went to an event called Queer Awakenings which was a panel discussing the films that made people feel seen and was the realisation that they were queer. It opened up to the audience and I got to talk about The Captain and how I related to the way his story was about self acceptance and feeling comfortable in your own skin. I genuinely did not fully understand the concept of a Comfort Character til I saw Cap.
We're very different in many ways but the thing that resonated with me the most was the fact he never explicitly Comes Out™. That's not the point of his story. Everyone can clearly see he's a gay man. It's the fact that the Captain learns that it's okay to be gay. He learns that he doesn't have to hide that part of himself (anymore).
We both have being a gay man in common. But that's not what stuck with me personally. I've never liked the idea of sitting down and "having a talk" and coming out (specifically as trans). It just sounds excruciating and Cring™ and "why should I have to explain myself" blah blah blah. I remember when I finally came out to my parents and told them my name I somehow felt stupid for choosing it. AAAAAAA.
ANYWAYS, even before I had the words for Trans I knew something was up. But when I finally discovered the word I immediately went "no that's not me. I just find having a chest annoying that's all" (which some cis AFAB people might and fair enough but that wasn't the case for me). It took me YEARS to accept that I was in fact trans like how it took the Captain YEARS to accept the fact he was gay.
It's that slow realisation that it's okay to be who you are. Deep down we both knew what was always there. But being able to tell ourselves that it's okay and safe and all that shit was the tough part. And seeing the Captain have that same struggle (in a different but still queer way) was absolutely groundbreaking for me. A lotta the queer stories I'd seen up until that point were focused on Coming Out™ and people being unaccepting. Ghosts was probably the first time I'd seen someone struggle with Accepting Themselves.
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bluffmotel · 9 months
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as dusk falls, interior night / homosexuality in "dog day afternoon" (1975) : televisual surfaces and a "natural" man, christopher r. brown
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popcornsalty · 1 month
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Okay important and genuine message from me. I'm not much or often a poster on timblr but if I can give a sincere message. It's to have varied interests. Be into multiple things at once. It doesn't have to be the same intensity for all of them or level of interest or whatever. Hell not all of it has to be good. Just have multiple things to look forward to and care about
#poke post#was watching a long ass video essay recently#n it finally mqde smth click for me coz like#one of the most miserable times in my life was when i was in the ds/mp era#because it and associated content creators were all i was into! so when shit was hitting the fan a long long time before i left#i was left in just the worst relationship to what was to be a comfort#and now fast forward a few years and. its like. im reading books. im going outside. im playing games. im drawing things. i curate my time#online very scrupulous because if i dont its easy to end up sad#which for me was starting to happen w/ q/s/mp#and so i was able to leave#because i have friends and shit outside of it and things i can talk about other then it#and its so freeing#which is to say. just. try to carve out time for more then one interest or thing at a time if you can#there are things you can do!! look up top 10 books in a genre!! order them off a library!! log off your socmeds for a while!! fuck!!#its not easy but its so worth it i promise it is.#+ also moreover please always remember my friends you are never obligated to engage in things if they make you unhappy. its always okay#to check and see if something brings you more joy then discomfort#take care everyone take care of yourselves#no one else can do it for you#anyway i will now go back to. my book :3 ive been reading the g/olden compass. havent finished yet so no spoilers#feel free to ask me about it ill probably get to it tmrw#also some things im looking forward to:#more on/e piece more wi/tch hat a/tieler ram the next stream of this small streamer ive been into#the next novel by this mid author i liked as a kid-#the next ep of du/nmeshi anime#and more and more#and sometimes i forget to have a thing to look forward to#and must find something new again again#its worth it#also yea no this is incoherent hope someone gets smth out of it tho
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kuiinncedes · 4 months
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akjsndglidfligauhglsighoiurdfhg
#one final left 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#i am procrastinating studying#my motivation to study is nonexistent atp lmfao#which is bad that this class is last#bc idk anything in this class#😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#and the slides aren't great and there's not a great straightforward way to study in my brain rn#i need to write down some stuff i can do#i i have like a lil les than 14 hours 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#why was this class so bad for me it wasn't even like that bad like the prof wasn't horrible#just not for me ig 💀💀💀 i just could not pay attention to him everything he said went right in and out thru my ears no comprehension#hm so how do i reread all the chapters or something in like < 10 hours or smth lmfao#also what do i even mean reread as if i read them all the first time slkjnfgdfigbpiurghpqireughdjfhsglfgjhaldkjfh#my last two finals were ok like ........ on par for what i expect lmfao and i think i did as well as i was gonna do on them#but this one#it's fucking unfortunate timing that it's last and day after another final bc i would rly appreciate a lot more time to study for this one#and i cant manage time so i haven't rly started studying for it lmfao why would i study before the day before 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩#anyway whatever#my chinese song playlist hitting hard rn it's so good and so nice to listen to while studying bc i dont get too distracted lol#and the songs are so GOOD i've been bonding more w my roommate over it XD#i think it's kinda funny how my music this week is gonna be so different than normal lol on airbuds since it does weekly music stats#out of nowhere just only lindsey stirIing and chinese songs lol#and then mxmt/oon in btwn there bc she also chiller music#jeanne talks
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avisisisis · 3 months
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i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way
#this hasn't been happening as often. bc we're on vacation and i don't see people as ofyen#i like to stay home. i love my home. and i love the loudness of my family but not the loudness of the rest of the world yk??#but uh#today my friend came to my house#and she has this joke#it's basically about how my siblings are “basically blessed by aphrodite” while i'm. ugly. compared to them#and just ugly in general#she doesn't say ugly but she does imply it. how does she do it?? by pointing out every fucking flaw my face has#“haha your head is egg shaped”#“lol you have a big forehead”#“you look like you have one big eyebrow!”#“your eye bags make you look like a raccoon”#<- this one hit me. harder than others bc like. that's smth ik and it's smth i'm trying to work on#i'm like this because i don't sleep much and because i spend too much time with my phone#i'm like this because i eat too much when i'm not even hungry and i refuse to exercise#and i'm trying to WORK ON IT.#and she just. laughs. at the consequences of all the stuff that's been actually harming me#and i KNOW that i should talk to her about this but HOW#how tf do i do that#it's not a “i don't want to lose her” thing it's more of a “i don't want any more conflict”#my 2022 and my 2023 have been so full of fights and just. pure negativity#and it was all bc of my friends. bc they're toxic and too stupid to see that they're wrong sometimes#and everytime i talked to one of them they would tell me more about the drama between them and some of my other friends and i HATED it sm#i'm flooding the tags w this cause it's. idk i wouldn't want it to be the first thing ppl see if they find this post#also i need to go to sleep it's almost 4am#avis talks#vent
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sp4rklegutz · 3 months
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" male socialization " " female socialization " how abt u socialize some b*tches 💀
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wavetapper · 2 months
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cleared my first 40 and somehow managed to clear holic as well 🤘 wtf good at video games era???
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