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sirenfromthelostcity · 5 years

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The Best Mistake Pt. 3: Championships And Diamond Ponies

Never in a million years would you have thought that you'd become best friends with a man like Delsin Rowe. Not that it's a bad thing, but very different from most things you've done. Certainly you never imagined you'd be filling your bag with rolls of tape and cutting out stencils late at night, all in preparation for an illicit art piece with a certain Akomish friend. Maybe that's what drew you in. Delsin isn't like any other person you've met before, he’s different. He is lively, exciting, bold, outspoken, creative, he is everything captivating, and a total bad boy. However, you never dared to say any of these words directly to his face, you already know better. It would only increase his cockiness and you'd never hear the end of his gloats. Still, you knew you'd always have a retort ready and he'd always mock right back and that was basically all part of a daily routine for you and Delsin. The roots of your friendship.

All it took was a few stencil jobs, running (lots and lots of running), coffee shops, and an aerosol can to build a relationship as thick as thieves. A relationship strictly platonic of course, that's how you prefer to keep it. You’re currently having too much fun with you partner in crime and therefore want absolutely nothing to ruin it. Yet that never stops Delsin from being his usual charismatic self, which leaves you to question yourself if there is a possibility for something more. Only to be followed by you shrugging off the question and completely abandoning the thought...at least for the while.

And so here you are sitting on the floor by the feet of your bed, cutting out stencils for your first original piece in preparation for the next day. With headphones in your ears blasting off "I Wanna be yours", by Arctic Monkeys, you start to replay the memory of your first time creating a tag with Delsin in your head.

'Are you sure this is a safe spot?' you asked.

Delsin rose from the floor with two rolls of tape in his hands and delivered you a smirk, 'Pfft yeah, totally. Now c'mon stop being paranoid and help me tape this thing.'

You complied and picked up two spray cans and handed one to Delsin.

'Ooh i love the sound when you-,' you shook the spray can and let the sound of the metal ball clashing within the walls of the can finish your sentence.

You giggle to yourself. Never did you really get tired of that sound or the smell. Now it became a habit. It’s fun.

Your phone shuffles on to the next song and so you start to hum to "Arabella,". Man, the Arctic Monkeys have good music. The music is blasting so loud from your ear buds that you’re pretty sure if someone were to walk in your room right at that moment they would totally be able to hear your music clearly. However, unbeknownst to you, Delsin had climbed up your fire escape and had quietly crept into your room.

He stands still as he observes the area until he spots you sitting below the feet of your bed, peaceful and undisturbed. Boy, was that about to change. His left eyebrow quirks up in mischief as a sudden idea hits him. Very, very carefully he begins to climb onto your bed, slowly crawling towards the end until he is practically next to your unsuspecting form. Slowly, he lowers his head to your level. By now you’re suspecting movement behind you but are too late to react before he-

"BOOO!!!!"

"AHHHHH!!!! OH!! YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" you say through gritted teeth in attempt to keep your voice low but at the moment you are more concerned with recovering from your mini heart attack.

You bring a hand to your chest and release a breath you didn't know you were holding in. Delsin on the other hand is literally rolling of laughter on your bed with a pillow clutched to his face to muffle his laughs. Unamused, you get up and begin to pelt him with your two spare pillows. Delsin is caught off guard but quickly retaliates and manages to drag you onto the bed and into a full on pillow fight.

You release a low shriek as you fall on your bed and start to thrash around, aimlessly swinging your two pillows. Amused by your tactic, Delsin laughs and mimics your comical yet potent strategy, using his spare hand as a personal guard for his face.

"Watch the face, watch the face!" he warns, " you hit the face, this friendship ends!"

"The only ship in pillow fights are championships!" you retort as you stand on your knees and ambush him with your pillows.

He lowers his arm shielding his face, "Oh so that's how it's gonna be?"

Big mistake.

Setting his guard down puts him at an extreme vulnerability, even if for a millisecond. That is all you need. You expertly cease the opportunity, hitting him with your left pillow and went in for a second hit but he deflects it with his arm and hits you with his pillow successfully knocking you off your knees.

"Okay...okay...okay," you say between breaths and laughter before collapsing onto one side of the bed with your legs dangling. "Tie?"

He releases a tired laugh and tosses his pillow onto your stomach before collapsing onto the opposite side of you, "Tie."

"How did you even get here?" you ask as you take the pillow from your stomach and put it under your neck.

"Reggie drove me," he simply replies.

You scoff, "I meant how did you get in my room?"

"Oh," he smirks. "It was a lot easier than you'd think."

"And the heart attack??"

"Okay that was just for fun and partially payback."

"For?...." you sit up from your current position and Delsin slowly rises after you.

"Foorrr stealing my beanie!" he swiftly steals the burgundy hat from your head, putting it back on his head and lays back down again.

"Aw," you frown, you had forgotten you even had it on you at the moment. It's a miracle it managed to stay on during the entire pillow fight. "Pfffftt I looked way better in it anyways."

"You'd look good in anything, babe," Delsin quickly counteracts.

"I'm not your babe," you say as you rise from your spot on the bed and carefully go back to your previous spot on the floor to continue the stencils, making sure your ever reddening cheeks are not in Delsin's line of sight .

"But you're a total babe."

You roll your eyes and scoff as you begin to cut out more stencils. "You know, you really shouldn't tempt me while I'm holding scissors. Wouldn't want anything to happen to that pretty little face of yours."

He rolls over on the bed and rests his head on his right palm to face you, "So you think I'm pretty?"

You scoff again and resume cutting out stencils, "Is there a reason why you're here?"

"Oh feisty are we today?" he finally rises from the bed and walks around your room."Y’know I love how climbable your room is. Seriously, it's like it was meant specifically for me to sneak into," he says as he picks out a book from a shelf and begins to observe it.

Without breaking concentration from your current task, you reply, "Well I’m glad the alternative to my front door suits you so well. You know my dad would never let you walk in through the front entrance."

Surprised by your comment, Delsin narrows his eyes and places the book back on its previous spot on your shelf, "Wow, (Name) thanks. Knowing your dad hates me so much that he wouldn't let me through the front door if I tried really means a lot to me," he says sarcastically as he takes a seat on your bed.

You feel a little muddled by his tone. You can't quite place your finger on it but regardless you attempt to lighten the mood a little, "Well technically he doesn't hate you, he doesn't even know you exist."

"Speaking of which, you're doing a real good job keeping your family in dark about all this," he motions to the stencils. "How does it feel?"

With this question asked, you put down your scissors and sigh, "Necessary. My mom can be understanding but my dad- not so much. Who knows, maybe one day I won't have to hide who I really am," you roll your eyes and continue to cut out stencils again. "Then I'll ride my diamond pony off into the sunset. With double the horns for double the awesome."

"Wait, horses don't have horns, don't you mean like a unicorn?"

You bring your legs closer to your chest and rest your head on your knees as you pretend to cry and release a muffled, "Let me and my diamond pony beeee."

He lightly chuckles and folds his arms across his chest, "Well you don't have to hide who you around me. You know I don't."

"That's true," you pop your head out, "you haven't changed much since the day I first met you. Don't get me wrong though, it's not a bad thing"

"Hmph. That's funny because I don't wish I could say the same about you."

Perplexed and slightly offended you put your scissors down and turn your attention to Delsin, "What?"

"Well," he says as he moves to sit down on the floor next to you,"when I first met you, I obviously didn't know you as well as I do now. We actually became pretty great friends, therefore I'm glad I don't get to say that you haven't changed much since when we first met. You're more than just a pretty girl I met by the bay."

It's become a usual habit for Delsin to flirt with you. Yet it was moments like these, when he'd act and say things like that, that would leave you lingering with curiosity. Could there be something between you two or was Delsin just being Delsin?

Regardless, you decide to play along, "So you think I'm pretty?"

"Oh I think you're way more than pretty," he smirks.

You release a low chuckle in response to his compliment. Then suddenly a clever yet cunning idea strikes your mind. You turn your body to face him and inch closer and promptly his actions follow yours.

"Believe me, pretty would be a major understatement," he adds.

"Is that so?" you learn in a little closer.

"Definitely," he purrs.

"You know I'm kinda glad you snuck in through my window tonight," you lean in more, now only mere inches separating your faces.

"Why's that babe?" He leans in closer.

You lightly scoff at his remark. If only he knew.

"So....-," you trail off to make the pretense of you closing in the gap between you and Delsin.

"So you can help me finish the stencils!" you laugh as you swiftly stand up from your spot on the floor, leaving behind a very confused Delsin to fall onto your previously occupied seat.

Realizing what just happened, Delsin releases an evil chuckle and rubs his chin,"That was cruel, (Name), real cruel."

You stand triumphantly with your arms crossed and a pout on your lips, "Aw really?"

"Very," he says as he stands up and walks over to you. "But too can play it that game," he pokes you by your rib, earning a loud giggle and flinch from you.

"What, are you ticklish there?"

"What? No!" You protest.

Not buying your protest he pokes again and you release another giggle and quick jump. Amused, he starts to poke you continuously at your new found ticklish area.

"Del...sin....stop!" You plea between breathes and giggles.

Somehow in the midst of laughing and slapping Delsin's hands away, he manages to entangle his arms around your stomach getting an even better leverage in your apparent tickle fight. For a moment you had forgotten where you are and how loud you’re being. That is until you hear a knock at your bedroom door followed by your mother's voice.

"(Name)?" She says, causing both you and Delsin to cease your actions, his arms still around you.

"Is everything okay in there? I thought I heard-"

"Uh-erm yeah mom. I just- stepped on a... lego! Yeah, yeah, you know how annoying that can be," you say as you side glance at Delsin's face hovering over your shoulder, his lips pursed and face turned the other direction to avoid your glance.

"Legos? Do you still even have those-"

"Everything is fine mom, I'll be downstairs in a second okay?"

"Okay honey."

You wait until you hear your mother's footsteps descend the stairs before breaking free from Delsin's hold.

He mockingly pouts at your escape before asking, "Did you really used to have legos?"

"Yeah..."

"Cute," he chuckles. "So did I actually. But I kept getting mad when I accidentally stepped on them. Those things really hurt like a b-"

"(Y/N)!" Your mom calls from downstairs.

“I think she needs you for something,” he lightly giggles.

"Coming, mom!" you yell towards the door. “Wait here I’ll be back in a few,” you say to him as you exit your room.

Delsin nods resumes to observing your room. He really did take a mental note of how easy it was to access your fire escape and even wondered why the thought didn’t occur to him before. As he walks around your room he notices the many pictures you have up on a bulletin board of your friends and family.

“Okay...think she mentioned you before...and you I don’t know…,” he says as he ogles the photos.

“Ah, there’s the infamous cousin of hers,” he smiles as he recalls you telling him of how your favorite cousin was the one who drove you to the Akomish reservation on the day you and Delsin first met. “Gotta make sure to thank you when I see you… in person because now you’re a photo and… okay just shut up, Delsin.”

He continues to observe your room and starts to look for any pictures of the two of you. When he can’t seem to find any he begins to feel a little disappointed until he accidentally knocks over a book from your desk and from it slips out a small polaroid picture of the two of you.

He picks it up and he immediately remembers the day the picture was taken. You two had gone out to the park since it was predicted to have been a very sunny day. And it was until it started to unsurprisingly rain. You had left your umbrella at home and so Delsin decided to use his sweater to shield both of your already damp forms. His height made it easy for him to get coverage over the two of you and that’s when you pulled out your polaroid and took the picture.

“Cheese!” You said, catching Delsin off guard but he still managed to put on a ridiculously cheesy smile for the picture.

“Oh man, this one’s a keeper!” You said as you showed him the funny photo of the two of you. Drenched clothes, outstretch arms and big bright smiles.

“Whatcha got there?” You ask as you walk into the room, interrupting Delsin’s reverie.

“Hmph? Oh I-uh found this,” he hands the photo to you.

“Oh, I remember that day,” you say happily. “We got fucking drenched but your off guard smile is priceless,” you laugh.

Delsin merely laughs and smiles as you observe the photo. However, once you put it back in the book it was originally hidden in, his smile falters.

“Why don’t you have it up like the rest of your photos,” he asks.

“What and risk it being seen by my parents?” you say as if the answer is the most obvious thing.

“Okay,” he scoffs. “It’s kinda hard to not be offended by what you just said there. Is being friends with me that much of a burden to you?” He folds his arms across his chest.

“What? Of course not I just-”

“Listen I know you wanna keep the tag stuff a secret but why do you have to hide me from everyone?”

“I’m not! My cousin knows about you and some friends too,” you clarify. “They actually kinda wanna meet you, they say you seem really cool and fun.”

“Well I’m glad the cousin and your friends approve but would it really be that bad of a thing if your parents knew about me?"

You try to say something as you just stare at him but nothing comes out.

“What?” He steps closer. “You afraid they won’t approve of you hanging out with ‘some delinquent’?”

“Hey, that's not true, and you know i don't give a rat's ass about what my dad thinks," you say, almost bitterly.

“Then why hide me?”

“Why do you suddenly care?”

“Why do I care that my alleged best friend won't even admit to me being her best friend in front of anyone else but me?!"

If his outrage isn’t seen in his eyes then it sure as hell is heard in his voice.

You briefly glance at the door before calmly urging Delsin to keep his voice down.

“No, y’know what, how about I do you one better?” He says as he walks to your window.

“Delsin, wait!” you follow him and catch him as he still has one foot in your room and the other on the fire escape.

“Thanks for the clarity on our relationship,” he says before finally leaving through the fire escape.

Again you call out his name but he either doesn’t hear you or he simply chooses not to. However, after the fight you two just had you don’t blame him if he chose the latter.

You walk over to your stencils and slump down to the floor as his words and the look of hurt in his eyes just repeat over and over and over again in your head.

“Thanks for the clarity on our relationship.”

“Oh fuck,” you sigh and rub at your temples. “What did I just do?”

#infamous second son #delsin rowe x reader #delsin rowe #reader #i wrote this so long ago and kept putting off posting it on here so here we go

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satannedtrash · 5 years

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a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?”

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

at-

him

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

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greywindys · 5 years

Text

It’s that time of year again! I, and possibly a good number of you reading this, just spent the whole of 2018 in the Gorillaz fandom. Congratulations! You made it! Because this year...kinda sucked. Not just for the Gorillaz fandom but, if this Washington Post article is any indication, for the rest of the world too. Maybe on an individual level there were moments of light. Maybe Gorillaz was your moment of light. If it was I’m genuinely happy because that means you probably found a way to avoid or ignore all the chaos that went down this year. But overall? Fandom was rife with disappointments, confusion and conflict with some good parts (for me, at least) sprinkled in here and there. Below is a personal reflection on the top 10 significant events in fandom of 2018.

1. Murdoc Goes to Prison

2018 started out peacefully for fandom. We were just finishing up sharing our scans of G-Magazine and theorizing over the next album when we’re treated with this - a nineteen second mocap of a frantic Murdoc accepting a Brit Award with an “oh by the way I’m going to prison.” We didn’t know why or for how long, and, though fans were confused and Murdoc going to prison is a tired, overplayed storyline at this point, it was cherished as any new Gorillaz content, especially animation, is cherished. Memes were made, most notably the #FreeMurdoc hashtag complete with a petition which was acknowledged by creators and caused the first big outburst in fandom for its messy tag. I did what I always do with Murdoc videos and went through the entire thing frame by frame to collect screenshots. Little did I know that this would be the only time I would get to indulge in this beloved past time. Little did I know that I would be wearing the same expression as Murdoc is in this screencap this entire phase.

2. Murdoc hate

Murdoc hate has always existed. It’s also generally accepted. However, when it was confirmed that Murdoc was going to be in prison for an undetermined amount of time and that he may not even speak this phase (thanks a lot, phase 5 plot!) it reached unprecedented levels of viciousness. Some fans took every opportunity to drag him in the main tag, start debates with anyone who might mention one positive thing about him and expressed how they genuinely wanted him to die and/or never come back. It kinda reminded me of this season of MTV’s The Challenge when everyone ganged up on Johnny Bananas. Like, yes he’s an asshole and yes this was probably long overdue but also omg when is there and end point? Is there an end point? It was like some people hated Murdoc more than they liked Gorillaz. For some additional context - this tense environment was born out of an astoundingly severe conflict that happened in spring where three separate fandom storms that had been brewing since late 2017 collided into one huge mess. Discords were raided, friendships were lost, the police were called (I’m not even exaggerating). I won’t go into it more but if you were there, you know what i’m talking about. Murdoc wasn’t the cause of this, but his character was at the center of one of those storms and the canon sending him to prison only reignited the ire towards him. For awhile Murdoc fans weren’t sure were exactly they stood with the greater fandom, and new fans were confused as to why this one green character was the source of so much grief for haters and fans alike. This continued for most of the year (and still continues today), hence why it’s getting a mention now.

3. Ace

Believe it or not Murdoc and Ace are confirmed #friends. You wouldn’t know that from all the Murdoc vs Ace content that sprung out of this year but Ace was the one who joined Murdoc for hot chocolate after he got out of prison, “they go way back” etc etc. Ace was a big deal because it was probably the only time the fandom guessed something correctly this entire year. Jamie began posting cryptic pictures of Noodle with this unidentified man, then another with only the Ace card visible. “It a Powerpuff Girls crossover!” Some people claimed. But that seemed so random? Really? A B-list cartoon villain from a cartoon targeting an entirely different demographic? More likely than you think! Ace never spoke a word and he wasn’t allowed to smoke or have sex. People obsessed over him anyways. To this day I still have no idea who he is or what kind of personality he has or really anything. But he wasn’t a bad guy (more on that later) and he was Murdoc’s friend so he’s alright with me.

4. Messaging Denholm

By now the fandom was fraught with distress on so many levels. We were lost. We needed someone to guide us, to show us the way, to show us the #truth. I don’t know exactly who started this trend but it soon spread around Reddit and other social media sites that Jamie’s son Denholm was replying to dm’s on Instagram and soon, he was graced with a deluge of of inquiries from casual fans and Murdoc stans alike. The thing is though - he actually *did* answer them. Many of us had spoilers re: Murdoc and Ace’s friendship, Murdoc getting out of prison, etc. MONTHS before they happened. I believe he even told us that 2D was fine back in like, June or something. Denholm knew! Eventually we pissed him off but it didn’t stop him from answering. He just answered angrier. It also caused fans to argue more because people started accusing others of photoshopping his responses and nothing can ever be done peacefully here. I haven’t followed up on this story singe the end of summer but I think fans have finally scaled back on the messaging. But I hear he’s working on a Gorillaz documentary for 2019 so...I’m sure we’ll be talking again soon.

5. Noodle

I want to take a moment here to also acknowledge the struggle AMA Gorillaz hosted on, of all places, Youtube. Thankfully, diligent redditors compiled a google doc of all the answers otherwise they would lost thanks to Youtube’s confusing interface. ANYHOW. The answer that stirred up the biggest milieu of debate and confusion came from Noodle. This isn’t exactly my lane - I don’t wade into Noodle issues and I don’t id as part of the LGBT community - so I’m not going to say much here other than, at the very least, this was the second or third time she has officially denied any interest in dating her bandmates.

6. 2D’s journal/2Doc

Okay first of all: 2DOC...jk, jk...jk? But no, honestly, this actually did become a big story this year, much bigger than expected. The release of 2D’s journal was the catalyst here, revealing a number of drawings and images of Murdoc. “Souk Eye,” a song that came with visuals featuring close ups of Murdoc’s face and vaguely romantic lyrics was depicted in 2D’s journal next to yet another drawing of Murdoc. We were confused! 2D didn’t care that Murdoc was gone, right? 2Doc shippers were intrigued. I was hesitant. We were all called delusional. However, “Souk Eye” was later confirmed to be a love song by Damon Albarn, and Murdoc and 2D have both claimed their relationship is “better” since the end of phase 5 (hhMmMmM). Obvi, take this with a grain of salt because it’s Gorillaz but the journal was instrumental in confirming how closely The Now Now (and the entire plot of phase 5, really) was tied to Murdoc and 2D’s relationship, particularly what 2D thinks of Murdoc. Think of it as platonic if you want but they share a closeness on SOME level and the content of 2018, from interviews to the Murdoc chats to the album itself, supports this. I rest my case.

7. Lost theories

Pour one out for all the lost theories. If you were a new fan this year you probably came up with a theory, or you got really invested in a theory. Some examples: HIM from PPG orchestrating the destruction of Gorillaz by possessing 2D and getting Murdoc framed with Ace as a double agent, or Murdoc’s imprisonment being tied to his trouble with EMI from phase 4, or phase 5 being about time travel, or Murdoc crashing Demon Dayz fest and fighting El Mierda on stage, or 2D being the one to frame Murdoc or Murdoc’s inmate number (24602) being a Les Mis reference implying that he’d get a character arc similar to Jean Valjean...you get the idea. But there are dreams that cannot beeee, and there are storms we cannot weather. You can argue about the budget or G-Shock or whatever but the truth is Gorillaz is just disorganized. This is their Brand™.

8. The Murdoc Chatbot

Gorillaz did an interesting thing this year - it let us talk to Murdoc! Sometime around June, he writers decided that the plot of phase 5 would be best spent, not on exploring the band’s dynamic with Murdoc gone or developing Ace’s personality, but on Murdoc! Fandom spent most of the summer following Murdoc’s experience in prison and helping to “free” him via a chatbot you could access through Kik, Instagram or Facebook. Basically, Murdoc was Paddington from Paddington 2, and we the fans were supposed to be the Browns trying to break him out and prove his innocence. Other fans begrudgingly used the chatbot to make fun of him or tell him to die and follow along with the story (it was the only place you could get plot updates). It was a neat idea as well as a funny experience to pretend to be talking to him, and the plot was very engaging at times. It was the chatbot that revealed the very dissatisfying (albeit happy) conclusion that Murdoc is no Paddington and had lied about everything - being framed, El Mierda etc. - but felt really bad about it. His apology was basically this. I’m going to also tag the #FreeMurdoc merchandise debacle, how overpriced it was and how it ended up being pointless anyways because Murdoc wasn’t framed and didn’t need to be “freed” onto this, because it all falls under the same event. Oh, and you got to talk to Noodle sometimes, too.

9. G-shock ends phase 5

I put “ends phase 5″ in strikethrough because G-Shock on its own is actually pretty cool, and made up for the lack of videos (2 in total) that were released this year. The now Murdoc inclusive band goes to space and starts an alien war! That’s fun! Completely removed from whatever phase 5 was, but fun! (And I say that genuinely) What was messy about G-shock was that it came out of nowhere. The final Murdoc chat, that was SUPPOSED to reveal the ending to the prison arc, hadn’t even happened but suddenly, Murdoc was back to sell watches to aliens with the rest of the band and Ace was gone. But the final chat was delayed by a month and G-Shock came out anyways. Out of this came memes about how phase 5 ended so Gorillaz could try to sell us watches.

10. Cass Browne Tells us the True Plastic Beach Ending

We ended 2018 with not one but two major interviews from the fancast, Hallelujah Monkeyz but I’m choosing to cover their latest interview with Cass Browne, writer of Rise of the Ogre. If you were new this year you probably heard older fans mention ad nauseam how much they missed this guy name Cass. Well, Cass came back and dropped actual bombs about the true ending of phase 3, Murdoc’s lost backstory and the Plastic Beach book he found AND that a sequel to ROTO was planned and dropped. Understandably, this sparked a lot of discussion and also revealed just how important Cass was to the continuity of the Gorillaz storyline. Back then, we had ROTO and Plastic Beach. Today, we have “Murdoc drowns in poop and reunites with the band offscreen”

And that’s the year! And look I’m not saying this because I’m a stan but this was a Murdoc year. He was at the center of like, at least 80% of the angst and joy of fandom and I could make separate “top 10 Murdoc moments” or “top 10 2Doc moments.” I guess for me, on an individual level, it was an alright year. For one, I actually talked to more people this year and met some really great friends (something I don’t typically do in fandom). I also get to check “write a fanfic” off my bucket list (it’s still a WIP but it’s the first WIP I’ve ever had so I’m counting it). And personally, my life has changed and without getting into too many details I’ve overcome a lot, grown professionally and...I think I can be kinda proud of myself for that. I expect 2019 to be a slower year than this one, and, I think the fandom needs that. Hopefully I’ll still see some of you around because I’m going to be here for at least the next few months while I finish up you know what.

Honorable mentions: 2D “Dies” of Ligma and other 2D memes, 2D writes The Now Now, Benjamin Clementine says he regrets working with Gorillaz, Noodles old VA confirms Jamie ghosted her and recast Noodle without telling her, Gorillaz delay the final Murdoc chat by a month, Demon Dayz doesn’t get streamed, Music video releases - “Humilty” and “Tranz”, Cyborg Noodle returns with boobs and causes debate, the “Let Ace Speak” petition,

#endofyear #long post /#there's a 2doc mention in here just fyi if you want to avoid #not as organized as last year's that's for sure #but here it is!#again this is more for my records and tradition but also here to read if you want

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trans-siberian-orchestra-life · 5 years

Text

Night Castle

Hi all! I will be posting mini-reviews of my favorite parts from each TSO album! I will go over band personnel, the story, and the music! Please enjoy!

Night Castle was released in 2009, and was TSO’s second non-Christmas album! It is also their longest, with 26 total songs, and, to me at least, their most emotional album to date.

The album features many familiar faces, with lead singers being Jay Pierce, Jeff Scott Soto, Tim Hockenberry, Rob Evan, and Jennifer Cella. The band personnel is also very familiar, with Paul O’Neill, Chris Caffery, Angus Clark, Al Pitrelli, and Alex Skolnick on guitar, Robert Kinkell, Jon Oliva, Luci Butler, Shih-Yi Chang, Jane Mangini, and Derek Wieland on keyboards, Chris Altenhoff and Johnny Lee Middleton on bass, Roddy Chong and Anna Phoebe on violin and strings, and John O.Reilly and Jeff Plate on drums. And, with Dave Wittman on, as all TSO albums say, “drum, guitar, and bass inserts for those little things the rest of us forgot.”

It also features Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's Greg Lake on bass for Nutrocker!

And, not to mention the numerous amazing backing vocalists and instrumentalists!

Its a big album with big personnel, a big story, and even bigger music. Lets get into that~

---------

Night Enchanted

-Best hard opening to a TSO album

-HEEERE belieeeve a nigHT ENCHANTED S̸̟͋̉̔͛̀͋̃̑̑̈́̏̅̈́È̵̡̜̼̞͔̖̩̦̟̞̣͈̑̄̽̒͝E̸̛͖̯͙̜͕̟̽̈́̃̉̿̏̈͛̌͆̔̂́ͅE̵͙̙̞̯͚̹̲̟̙͐̀͑̍͊̚͜Ẹ̷̡͇̹͍̓̈́̏͑̄̅̀̎̈́̓̚E̶̛̱̖̘͓̹͍̟̭̲̲̽͋͒̀̓E̵͓̰̠̤̻̪̣̎͊̎͒N̴̢̧̜̰̦̰͓̯̗̦͚̘̝̑̔̌͂͐̀͊

-Very different song, like,,VERY DRAMATIC. ExtrEMLEY DRAMATIC

-Based on Verdi’s Requiem and Dies irae

-Has the Child Of the Night aria sandwiched in the middle

-So the falcon character sings the aria

-I don’t know how that works either

-then it KICKS IN AGAIN FULL POWER

-The pounding opening guitar motif that repeats is amazing

Childhood Dreams

-A very classical-based song, like, its very operatic

-The “controversial” song on the album. Only because people either love it or hate it. I love it. Its fun.

-CHILDhood CHILDhood CHILDhood

-Jay is singing from his SOUL here

-Lyrics are very whimsy:

“But then it's known to catch our eye And dare us all to once more try And with a childhood faith believe And that magic to retrieve As childhood dreams ...”

-Overall solid song

-The slow piano that kinda hangs back the entire time is great

-I love the way he sings the line “But suddenly inside the dark, she sees the magic of the sparks...”

Sparks

-Old-school rock n roll song

-One of my favs off the album, its just so, idk..classic sounding?

-”Tell me when...Ḁ̷̯͖͉̽̎̔͋̀̽͗͐͂̊̌̇̕A̸̢̳̪͉͓̼̟͑Å̷̛̛̜̈́̆̀̆͂͋̊͐͗̔͑̇Ḩ̸͋̿̓̆͋͛͌͐͑͆̕̕Ḣ̷̨̙̺̦͚͓̠̀̿́͝H̴̗̮̎̽̀́̓̏̓̋̚H̶̼̘̩̱͖̻͎͒́Ḩ̶̢̧͓̲̼͇̼̱͓̱̞̖͕̀̽̾̒̚̕͠ͅ”

-It actually has “AHHH” in the CD booklet I kid you not

-Its a tad long ill admit but it rocks so hard you hardly notice

-The old school chugging guitar riff rocks

-”Leaving marks...SPARKS!”

-Just a classic song, nuff said

The Mountain

-eyyyy first Savatage cover- based n Prelude to Madness! From Hall of the Mountain King!

-The atmosphere is REAL

-The windy sound effect in the opening, the deep bells AH so good

-A familiar melody, and MAN they give it their best

-They speed up gradually over time, and it just gets to the point where its ridiculous how much is going on in the song

-These guys are so talented I swear

-The solo at 4:09 KICKS

Night Castle

-Jeff Scott Soto giving me life, once again

-Very different sounding song I believe, not many other TSO songs sound like it

“Am I risking my own life...my life..?

-OK also I SWEAR in the last 4th of this song, when the slow bit hits, the melody is EXTREMELY CLOSE to the opening to Mephistopheles, from Beethoven's Last Night. It may just be coincidence, but it sounds like an Easter egg to me. Or maybe I’m just crazy. AHA.

-The falling synth piano bits at 1:55. Yes.

-Song gets creepy with the minor change at the end

-I LOVE the last few seconds its so peppy and pretty, like that piano is so gentle

The Safest Way Into Tomorrow

-And I’m crying already, thanks Paul.

-They used this song for the tribute to Paul O’Neill in the 2017 live show. And i get so sad every time I hear it now. Like a melancholy feel now.

“Morpheus is at your side, offering the wings to fly, and be there..”

-Thanks Morpheus

-This line hits me right in the feels every time:

“Be there, free from Earth to sail across this night, where stars are all eternal”

-The piano build at 3:15 mmmm

-BEEEE THEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEE THEEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEEEEERE NOOOOOWWW

-”And tell me what you...see!”

-I cry

-Also may I note how I LOVE that every character that TSO makes looks like an 80′s rocker. Like look at my dude Morpheus. And Tran-Do. Never stop TSO, never stop.

(Morpheus^)

Mozart and Memories

-Second Savatage cover!

-Very eerie

-Fits with the “dream” thing going on in the story at this point

-The guitars are the best part at 0:42, that melody is so eerie and cool

-The pianos and strings at 0:24 hit me hard, VERY well recorded there

-It gets real fast at the end

-TSO and classical covers are such a good combo

Another Way You Can Die

-TSO got PG.

-Like look:

“And the tracers probe on 'Till a close friend is gone And you find yourself embracing ground”

-and:

“I see a figure in my rifle sight Who does not know that he's there And as I hesitate to take his life The ground explodes My blood it flows My heart is racing Times escaping As I feel it slowly scraping by”

-like holy hell

-Like I love the song don’t get me wrong

-But lord Paul went all out here

-He was NOT holding back

-PAULS GOT A MESSAGE TO GET ACROSS AND LORDY HES GONNA DO IT ANY WAY HE CAN

-That end piano drop mY HEART HURTS

Toccata - Carpimus Noctem

-TSO has mastered Christmas, TIME FOR HALLOWEEN MUAHAHA

-Literally its such a good cover. They keep the classic classical intro, with synth and guitars of course, but then they go full metal with it.

-I love the weird guitar lick at 1:49, it really stands out

-Yet another guitar solo featured song and mmm its good

-Also, the DRUMS ARE AMAZING IN THIS ONE

The Lion’s Roar

-Third Savatage cover kind of

-The second half is from Temptation Revelation from Gutter Ballet

-As a trumpeter, I love this song, as it is TSOs only trumpet-featured song.

-The first half is a very military-esque (Fits with the story, eh?) trumpet solo on The Minstrel Boy. This song is very accurate as it is usually played at military events or funerals.

-Which makes me even sadder because of the context of thE STORY

-Nice little interlude song

Dreams We Conceive

-EMOTIONS.

-The opening organ, it its me right in the HEART.

-You can just HEAR the sorrow in his voice in this song.

-The way he sings “Where the dreams die...as the blood dries...”

-Too relatable my soul can’t take it.

-His little voice quiver on the word “do” in the line ‘WHat else is the night to do..”

“As you stand all Alone at your station What if God doesn't Know where you are As you send out your Prayers for salvation But afraid that They don't go that far

So you wait all Alone in your darkness There's a train that drives on Through the night And if everyone's On it except us Would it return for That single life

In a city After midnight Neath the halo Of a street light”

-Its just so LONELY SOUNDING this man needs a hug

Mother and Son

-I used to skip this track before I understood it in context to the story.

-Then I felt emotions

-You can find the translation HERE.

-Imagine you past self looking at you and saying “How did I become you?” TO YOUR FACE

-savage

There Was A Life

-ENTER ROB EVAN

-This song man,,,the emotions are REAL

-The way he sings the word “life” in the opening line

“Can someone tell me Can someone say when The writer of this story Will just tell us how it all will end?”

-I relate too much to that

-Paul asking the real questions of life: “ Is there forgiveness for hesitation?”

-The HURT in his voice when he sings “DEAR GOD” at 3:14

-Robbbb why you gotta kill me like this

-The piano is superb at 4:22

-Captures the vibe perfectly

“Are you scared of your life? Are you scared of your death? Though that day will arrive Well it hasn't come yet...”

-Calling me out like that huh

-His “ALIIIIIIIIIVE” at 8:37 oh my LORD

-I’m feeling ALL the emotions

Moonlight and Madness

-OK. So I can’t think of which piano player it was, I’m thinking either Kinkel or Weiland, I could be wrong...BUT. Paul said in an interview once that the songs piano was recorded in one take. ONE TAKE THAT INTRO. He just FLEW INTO IT PERFECTLY.

-Its a wild song, based on the moonlight sonata.

Time Floats On

-This song man..this song

-*Insert seagull meme here* “tiiiiime flllOAATS OOOOON!!!”

-It was one of the first TSO songs I ever heard

-The crazy contrasting piano bit in the middle AH its cool

-Such an eerie song really

-”Time floats on...as I write these letters that you'll never see...” ;-;

-this song has so much heart

Epiphany

-OK HERE WE GO

-TSOs longest song

-TSOs most emotional song

-I’m crying again

-The SHEER HURT and SORROW in Rob’s voice when he sings “ I fear the night, I fear the dark, I need this light...that distant spark...”

-The fast bit at 3:52...I don’t think Rob breathed once during that recording.

-The spoken part was a bold choice, TSO has never done that before. I liked it a lot, its a great addition to the song.

-The subtle harmonies in the “Somewhere”s...amazing.

-and MAN. The LYRICS.

“Did you ever walk up To the edge of a cliff Stare into the abyss As your mind wonders if You should take one more step Further into that night Well your mind says you won't But your heart says you might Would you fall through the dark Feel the wind in your hair Would you embrace the ground And end your life right there Or would god reach his hand And that moment you fly Or if he chanced to blink And then, that moment you die You die...”

-Like GEEZ that is heavy stuff

-This is the “contemplating death song”

“Be who you are What you were What they see From eternity's view Tell me which one is me?”

-Relatable. holy heck.

-He sounds like hes about to cry when he sings “Hold me close...”

-Like me too Rob. Me too.

-”This all is your....life..."

-You feel DRAINED by the end of it, like wow. The emotion, the power, my soUL. MY HEART.

Bach Lullaby

-A nice calming music box medley of the C major prelude.

-OK SO TSO SHOULD ACTUALLY MAKE LITTLE MUSIC BOXES THAT PLAY THIS HOLY HECK ID BUY 50

Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

-The OTHER most EMOTIONAL SONG on the album

-First half: pain, sorrow, regret, melancholy, slow piano...

-The EMOTION in the line “ Never quite there but it's never quite gone, you are the star that is wished upon...forever....”

-Second half: RAGE. ANGER. FIRE. AAAHHHHH.

-The main guitar riff is so heckin powerful

-Lyrics literally have this background in it: “...she raged against all those citizens of apathy and willful ignorance who lived behind the sacrifices of others.”

-The high piano swapped out for low guitar and bass melodies, a heavy mood, and pounding drums

-”...You cling to that card, Father, Son & Holy Ghost”

-You FEEL THE RAGE

-It has the most metal lyrics:

“And Christ and Confucius Are all their words useless We quote them in fractions But not in our actions”

-Like WOW

Remnants of a Lullaby

-A simple, but pretty song

-Very calming, and a nice breather from the song before

-The feeling in “ What to keep, what to save...”

”Wished on coins Childhood wings Carousels Still turning Waiting there patiently Remnants of a lullaby...”

-IM A KID AGAIN

The Safest Way Into Tomorrow (Reprise)

-dangittt I’m crying AGAIN

-album comes full circle here in the most emotional way possible

-especially when you consider the context of the story at this point aahhHHH

-Soto owns my soul

Embers

-OK, just..I love this song. Simple as that.

-This is pure atmosphere.

-Listen to it. Bonfire. Embers soaring to the stars above. Fireflies all around. Friends sitting with you at the camp fire. Acoustic guitar playing. A perfect summers night.

-Just...perfection.

Child of the Night

-Eyyyyy the aria again. It grows on yah.

-Very relaxing.

-Just brings that calming night vibe to life.

-Makes yah feel like a kid again.

Believe

-AAAAND the TSO song everyone knows for one reason or another.

-Also one of the more emotional ones on the album.

-A cover of the Savatage song off Streets

-I love this version, (No offense Jon), like idk why exactly...it just feels more..personal? Idk, maybe its just because of the sheer emotional journey we just went on lol.

-It builds spectacularly, and the emotion is all in in this one. 10/10 great cover.

Nutrocker

-YAYY JUST HAD AN EMOTIONAL AND HEARTBREAKING JOURNEY, TIME FOR HAPPY FUN CHRISTMAS EMMERSON LAKE AND PALMER NUTCRACKER SONG YAYY

-Heh I kid I kid

-It features Greg Lake on bass!

-This song ROCKS man it ROCKS

-TSO does SO WELL WITH THIS

-The fast piano, the amazingly melodic guitar melody, the rock bits with a jazz break sandwiched in between AH.

Carmina Burana

-This is also one of my favs off the album.

-I believe this is also the song that got some conservative folks mad at TSO for being “satanists” by playing this. It was the latin I think.

-Doesn’t matter, this song is epic. Very bombastic.

-It builds so well, and the repeated guitar and bass riffs make it feel so pounding I love it.

Tracers

-Ok so this song and I have history.

-I originally didn’t like this song (woah, right?)

-It just didn’t click. Buuuuut, TSO did it live in 2018, and BOI that changed everything. I loved it after that. Its top 25 TSO songs for me now.

-IDK what they did or how they did it, but after the live show, I loved it. Past me was wrong. This song ROCKS.

-The pounding opening is iconic

-The soaring guitars

-The weird interval medley at 0:49 is so cool

-The main melody KICKS at 1:00

-My fav bit is the surreal acoustic bit at 2:06

-Its SO GOOD

-The repeated 5 notes at like 1:34 are so driving

-The descending bit at 2:55!!!

-and the BUILD UP TO THE VOCAL PART AT 3:32 OH MAN POETIC CINEMA

-------

And there you have it!!! Night Castle! To me, its the most emotional album of the lot. And the most atmospheric. Its long, but its a wild ride the entire time. The story is sad but inspiring, the music is legendary, the art is beautiful, so all around, this, to me, may be their best album in terms of general scoring. What do you think?

Thanks for reading ya’ll! You rock!

#Trans-Siberian Orchestra #trans siberian orchestra #night castle #album review #metal #rock #symphonic metal #symphonic rock #text post #this took so long to re do #BUT I DID IT #music review

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dontgrowupokay · 6 years

Text

I’m bored - Chloe Price x Reader

Summary: You just wanted to finish your damn homework. Chloe Price can’t keep quiet while you’re at it.

*’tis my first time writing for LiS, so I would really appreciate some feedback!

One exercise done, three pages to go.

You ran a hand through your hair, getting it out of your eyesight with a lazy sigh. Honestly, how could someone assign so much homework due the next day? Especially when the content revolved around sine and cosine functions - those required time, motivation and energy you surely didn’t have at that moment.

Still, finishing all activities was half of your grade, and you wanted to receive an impressive report card by the end of the semester. You took a sip of your water bottle and straightened your back. No time for rest.

“Y'know, I’m hungry. We should go grab something.” Chloe Price, your best friend (girlfriend in the near future, hopefully), said, just as you’d started to read question number two. You spared a quick glance at her, praying she would sit still while you studied for once.

“I told you, I gotta finish this.” You answered. “There are some cereal bars in the kitchen though. Bring me one too, if you’re going there.”

“What?” Even though you weren’t looking, too busy sketching the swirly patterns of sin(x), you could imagine her face of disgust “I’m talking about real food here, not those fitness snacks of yours.” You simply rolled your eyes. Nothing good ever came from debating food with Chloe. Joyce did own a diner, so you couldn’t really blame her.

Heavenly blessed three minutes passed in silence, and you were now writing down a formula for exercise number four. You didn’t work too much on it, though, as once again Price interrupted you:

“Is this a good one?”

You looked behind you and saw her holding a random book from your shelves in her hand. As if she was actually interested in it. You just wanted half an hour to do your homework, was that too much to ask?

“Uh-huh, must be.” You said in a flat tone “Listen, give me just a little more time. There’s a Rubix Cube on my bed, try and solve it.” The trick was to get her busy long enough.

“I hate those...” Chloe grumbled, but you heard her starting to play with it anyways.

Oh, peace and quiet. So good. You hurried and finished another couple of questions in the following five minutes. Two pages to go.

“When we were young, the future was so bright! Woah-oh!”

The sudden - let it be known, very loud - music made you jump on your chair, your heart hammering in your chest as your contracted muscles forcefully moved your hand to the right, thus getting your notebook a thick ink line right through exercise five.

“THE HELL?” You managed to yell over the song, turning your chair around. On your bed, Chloe tapped one hand against the mattress, following the rhythm, and held your speaker - connected to your phone - in the other.

“Chances throoooown! Nothing’s freeee!” The girl made sure to yell along with the singer, banging her head and kicking the air.

“Chloe!” You called, wincing at the high volume.

“Longing fooooooooor what used to beeee!”

“Chloe!” You insisted, louder this time. “Hey!” You stood up.

“Still it’s haaaaard! Hard to see-” Her gleeful singing was cut short as you yanked the speaker out of her hands and gladly turned it off. Her eyes opened in indignation, locking on you.

“Dude, I was listening!”

Your eyebrows shot upward and you spoke, sarcasm dripping:

“Yeah? So was the whole street.”

A satisfied smile spread across your lips as she glared at you in annoyance. You lived in an apartment, for gods’ sake! There were rules to follow!

“C’mon, that’s a hella good song!” Price tried to argue “Plus, you said it yourself: music helps us become more focused while studying. I was helping you!”

You sighed tiredly, sitting down in front of her and taking her hands, as you would with a restless five-years-old. Sometimes, that was exactly how she acted like.

“Chloe, fren.” You started, ignoring her totally unimpressed expression. That wasn’t the first time you did this “I love you lots, but I’ve got this very important assignment to finish, kay? Can you sit still and be nice for ten more minutes?”

“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’, standing up in a jump. “You can finish that crap later. Right now, we gotta go eat something.” The girl took the speaker from your hands. “Or I’ll turn this on again and you’ll have to deal with a shitload of angry neighbors!”

“C’mon, Chloe, you can’t be serious-”

“Jamie had a chance, well she really did“

The music started again, managing to make you once again jump in surprise.Your head tilted to the side, your hand cupping your waist as you had a quick glare contest with her. Finally, you raised your hands in surrender, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I hate you.” You pushed her with your elbow. Why did you still try to finish homework with her around?

“Sucks for you, cause you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon” She said, a smug smile on her face. Every day was a beautiful day to annoy you.

#chloe price #chloe price imagine #chloe price x reader #life is strange #before the storm

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rdgpcg · 4 years

Text

Yesterday evening I finally sat in my easy chair at the end of a busy day. My legs and back were tired. After a cold, wintry Saturday my Sunday had been busy and productive. I turned toward the window to pick up my glass of wine and caught movement as a brilliant bit of blue appeared at the bird feeder. It was an indigo bunting. Usually one shows up a couple times a year and this year Mother’s Day was the day. The pretty blue buntings were one of Mom’s favorite birds.

One of nature’s beautiful little gems and one of Mom’s faves.

It suddenly occurred to me that, on a whim, my first activity of this pretty day had been a short bird walk on the nearby river trail. Mom loved birds and birding. Well, Mom loved all creatures but had a special fondness for birds. While many children arrange brunch or dinner with Mom, we would spend a few hours in the woods with our binoculars each Mother’s day. It was our special alone time and her favorite thing to do.

Some years we had great birding and got preoccupied with identification and trying to keep up with the flitting, fleeting warblers and vireos hopping from branch to branch. As Mom aged and her hearing worsened, she depended more on me to find birds based on song. Unfortunately, warbler songs fell in a range of tones she simply couldn’t hear. This was apparent one morning when the “Beeee Buzzzzz” of a blue-winged warbler was nearly deafening and she couldn’t pick it up. Fortunately, the cooperative little fellow hopped on to an open branch where she got to see it.

youtube

Other years the birding wasn’t so hot. On those days Mom and I would mostly walk and talk. We’d talk about life. We’d talk about my childhood days living in a place that I didn’t even know was paradise until I wasn’t there anymore. We talked about hopes. We talked about dreams that would never come to pass but how nice they would be. We talked about life in general. These were my favorite days.

Sometimes we would find really good birds. Before I go any further there is some explanation of birders and birding required. First of all, the term “Bird Watching” is something out of the 1950s.

Nobody says they are “bird watching” and this isn’t what birders look like. Mostly anyway.

I don’t know where the phrase originated but it is akin to runners being referred to as joggers or hunters being asked if they “caught anything?”. Or nails on a chalkboard.

Birding is a physically active event typically requiring a good bit of walking and a fair bit of learned skill in quick identification. It is mentally challenging in that many bird species can only be differentiated by subtle differences. Perhaps leg color, the color or length of a beak, and in many cases, they can only be told apart by song. Nothing is more frustrating than staring at a tight-lipped flycatcher on a gray morning trying to figure out if it is an acadian, alder, yellow-bellied, or least. That assumes, of course, that flycatchers have lips.

Acadian flycatcher

Alder flycatcher

Least flycatcher

Yellow-bellied flycatcher

Birders are a dedicated bunch who will spend ridiculous amounts of money on binoculars, spotting scopes, and paper or electronic field guides. They leave their houses in the wee small hours and drive many miles to add a new species to a life list. (The list of all species of birds they’ve seen in their lives anywhere.) Often times they will hike many miles over rugged terrain for the chance to find one remote species. There is even a World Series of Birding. In fact, yours truly participated in it . . . twice!

A group of young birders in rugged terrain.

Perhaps the coolest thing about birding is that birds fly. I know that isn’t a revolutionary concept, but because birds fly they can wind up anywhere at any time. And they do! There are hot lists, birding hotlines, and websites with the latest sightings of species making a rare appearance somewhere new. If you saw the news reports last year about the Mandarin duck that showed up in Central Park this is the stuff birders live for and it happens quite often.

Central Park’s mandarin duck

Like most things, there is a darker underbelly to the birding world. At a glance, that may seem ludicrous. All birders hope to be the one to make the discovery of an out-of-place or rare species.

Eastern bluebird

A bluebird in Cape May isn’t unusual but a mountain bluebird found there is front-page stuff! Or at least front page of a newspaper that any self-respecting birder would read. When I was younger and such vagrants appeared I had a notion in my mind of the wanderer making its way back from whence it came.

Mountain bluebird

I finally realized one day while chasing down some European stray that there was no way the little bird was going to make its way back across the ocean and the hapless creature was doomed. This is likely the case for most of these oddities that show up far outside their normal range. It would be like a New Yorker hopping on a plane destined for Miami and somehow winding up in rural Wyoming. Life expectancy wouldn’t be long.

Scenes like this are common when a species is out of its element.

The second rather seamy fact about birding is that the birding community can be a bit arrogant. Okay . . really arrogant. In most activities I’ve participated in, the community is welcoming and understanding of new participants. This is not as much the case in birding as it could be. Oh sure, experienced birders will suggest good binoculars and guides and where to go but the same experienced birders will look down their noses at a neophyte who can’t yet tell the difference between a black vulture or turkey vulture. As such, until they learn the basics, newbies are often relegated to attending the bird walk at the State Park or hiding among the weeds while they furtively glance through a brand new copy of Peterson’s Field Guide to the Birds because they think they are the only ones on trail who doesn’t know what that beautiful black and orange bird is.

Baltimore oriole

Blackburnian warbler

The arrogance of the birding community becomes even more evident when someone who is not well known to the community reports a rare sighting. Skepticism and doubt abound because if they don’t know you what could you possibly know about birds? As an example, I took a walk through a favorite local birding spot and happened across a Swainson’s warbler.

Swainson’s warbler

I got a great look at the bird for a long time and heard it sing. It wasn’t my first Swainson’s warbler. We are a bit North of “normal” range for a Swainson’s warbler but not that far North. Wanting to share my good fortune, I posted a note about said warbler on the local birding e-list to which I was not a regular contributor. Well, you’d have thought Tony the Pony showed up at the Preakness and insisted on running. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t possibly have seen a Swainson’s warbler and it was probably just a Louisiana waterthrush.

Louisiana waterthrush

There was much discussion in the comments about this new birder that showed up with audacious claims and what could he possibly know? It seemed like being a baby and having everyone in the room talking about you like you aren’t there. I haven’t posted anything on that list (or any list site) since and I’ve found some great birds that they would love to know about.

It was no different years ago. The Cape May area where I spent much of my youth is renowned globally as a birding hotspot. Geographically, it is a big touch point for a lots of species of birds. There are woods, fields, beaches, ocean, and marshes attracting a wide variety of birds in both the spring and fall migration. As such, it also attracts a wide variety of birders leaving no rare avian visitor undiscovered. In fact, I often wonder if the birding in Cape May is any better than the birding anywhere else but just elevated because there are so many birders there examining every feather at all times. A few years back, some regionally rare variety of sparrow showed up at Higbee Beach wildlife management area. Higbee’s is well know among the birding and, once upon a time, the nudist community. Fortunately the two factions rarely meet. Anyway, I along with dozens of other birders descended on Higbee’s each morning to track the sparrow. I remember looking around and wondering if the poor thing would evaporate into thin air with all those magnified optics pointed at it?

On a similar morning, my Mom had been out birding and casually mentioned to a a group of birders including some big names that she had seen a cerulean warbler that morning and was very pleased about it.

Cerulean warbler

The inquisition began immediately and continued for years. “Where did you see it? Are you sure it wasn’t an indigo bunting? Do you put your hand over your heart when the national anthem plays? May we see your papers please?”

Perhaps I’m making the birding community sound worse than it is. I certainly don’t want to discourage anyone from participating. It is a fun past-time and you get a new appreciation for nature when you can begin to identify all those little songsters in the woods or the various birds tottering about in the marsh. I wouldn’t want to deny anyone the wonderful discovery of the beautiful little feathered ornaments that are probably hopping around the trees in the yard at this very moment. I encourage everyone to grab a pair of binoculars and get outside.

I’d like to say I thought of Mom when I made the decision to head down to the river trail yesterday morning, binoculars in hand. The truth is, I completely forgot it was Mother’s day until sometime later in the afternoon. Mom died from brain cancer 11 years ago. The last few months of her life, the cancer took her ability to function. For months and years after her death when I thought of Mom I could only remember those last few weeks when she lay in bed, nearly a vegetable unable to hold conversation. No matter how hard I tried, I could remember nothing else. When the bunting appeared at the feeder, instantly, I thought of Mom and our Mother’s day bird walks. I pictured her as plain as if it were yesterday walking along with her L.L. Bean Maine hunting boots, green jacket, and her Bausch and Lomb binoculars. I smiled and enjoyed the memory. Belated Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I love you.

Remembering Mom Yesterday evening I finally sat in my easy chair at the end of a busy day. My legs and back were tired.

#Adventure #America #Birding #featured #Fun #Healthy Living #Life #Lifestyle #Nature #Sports #Travel

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lovewavesxx · 7 years

Photo

Love Waves – EP 7 – WTF ARE WE DOING?

Click here to read Love Waves - Introduction

“WTF ARE WE DOING? –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/4WpepDQVwmxbMSLi2JGuSJ

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-7-wtf-are-we-doing/idpl.u-4JombJltjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRQRokZrxPmUwyPZTIzslqpd

1. Lauren Sanderson – Conversations (feat. DYSN)

2. THEY. – Truth Be Told

3. Post Malone – I Fall Apart

4. Snow Tha Product – Waste of Time

5. Drake – Furthest Thing

6. Marty Grimes – Fuxk Around

7. The Neighbourhood - #Icanteven (feat. French Montana)

8. Blaise Moore – HANDS

9. G-Eazy – Shoot Me Down (feat. Anthony Stewart)

10. Tory Lanez – Friends With Benefits

11. Childish Gambino – Heartbeat

12. Beyoncé – Hold Up

13. SZA – Prom

14. Marko Penn – Same Ones

15. Dylan Matthew – Sober

16. Cam Meekins – Heart

17.Cardi B – I Gotta Hurt You

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :) (it’s anonymous)

do·ing

ˈdo͞oiNG/

1. the activities in which a particular person engages.

2. effort; activity.

This is probably the most aggressive playlist I’ve made for this series so far. To be very honest I am struggling with how to write this description accurately. Bare with me while I get to the end zone, and I apologize in advance if it gets long. Just know it comes from my heart.

I used to be the type of person who had issues controlling my words in heated moments. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone I loved because of something I said. Words can hurt. Words can’t be taken back. Due to my growing awareness of that flaw, I really started to work on staying silent and thinking very hard about what to say and how to react in situations that are high stress and potential breaking points in any form of relationship. Since I’m human, it’s still a work in progress at times.

One of the most disgusting things I learned throughout this process of trying to fix myself is that even when I do not release those bitter statements into the world, they still exist in my head. It’s very frustrating for me. If you truly know me, then you know at the heart of everything I want nothing but the best for everyone I love and even people who have hurt me.

It can start to become very draining to think about all the awful things you’d wish would happen to someone because you’re angry at them or because of something they did or how they treated you. That way of thinking is repulsive. It’s not a quality I want in someone else or myself. I’ve learned it is much less stressful to say and genuinely feel that you want the best for that person instead. That’s it, the best. The best of whatever they feel is most fulfilling in their life whether it involves me or not. You can’t choose what happens to you, but you can choose how to react.

The act of letting anger, jealously, and hurt go can be difficult. I still struggle with this. While the journey can be an uphill struggle, getting to the other side is very refreshing. It’s very freeing. For every uphill there is a downhill. Never forget that.

So, the initial concept of this playlist came from an internal confusion I’ve dealt with for what seems like forever—the ups and downs of having someone you care about so deeply and not being able to let them go. It feels sort of like dancing around with them on all of these uphills and downhills. Complexities and confusion is hard for me to deal with. At the same time, I’ve learned my head definitely has the ability to go wayyyy above and beyond thinking and trying to navigate a situation that is not clean cut.

Grey areas drive me nuts because I’m the type of person who wants things to be crystal clear. I want to know what is going on and why. I’m usually an all or nothing type of gal. Having to hold back or put boundaries on any form of relationship feels very unnatural to me. It makes me uncomfortable being told how and when to act.

If I can move my schedule around or make time for you I will without you asking. That goes for friends, family, anything. I prioritize the connections I have. I can’t explain why I’m like this, but I just am. If I care about something or someone I will always fight like hell to make time and give my absolute best effort possible. There are no excuses for not fighting to keep your greatest priorities fulfilled and in the best shape possible.

That being said, I struggle with the differences in priorities I have when another person doesn’t seem to match my efforts. It can kind of feel like a slow death. It can feel like your soul is exporting itself in effort towards another, and when very little is being returned or evenly matched, it can leave you feeling drained.

Another thing I can sometimes struggle with is accepting the difference in opinion or view other’s have towards me, or something I feel very passionately about. I’m stubborn, and I always have been. I get that from my father haha. But at the same time I think I do a decent job of not letting my pride get in the way when I realize I am wrong.

Conflict and disagreements no matter can big or small can be frustrating, but without differing opinions we’d all be the same and let’s be real, that would be hella lame. I think what I’ve learned most from being in situations where there is a disagreement in views is it allows for a perspective other than your own to be heard. It can create a dialogue. Over the past year, more than ever, I have learned I would much rather us have a disagreement and a conversation because of that, than to just give up and leave. I suppose that whole fighting aspect of me morphed more into genuinely fighting to keep growing connections with people I value so highly.

It’s also weird because over the past few months I’ve learned I don’t want to change anyone. I don’t want to control anyone or their behaviors I find less desirable. I’ve learned you have to sometimes accept what you do not understand or agree with. However, there’s a beauty in that act of acceptance. I think that’s how you know your intentions and love is pure—accepting their existence for everything they are in the present. I just want you to be the best version of yourself, and my opinion on what that version is or desired to be is absolutely irrelevant. The only person who can be the judge of what is best for you, is you. I can only be there by your side through everything in support. That’s all I have the power to do or even want to do—support you on your journey. Of course there are aspects that would be a welcomed change, but at the end of the day I only want someone to change if they want to. My views are invalid.

This playlist is meant to display confusion. If you listen to the stories within the songs it’s all very chaotic. It plays with the idea of letting go, coming back, being selfish, being selfless, wanting, lusting, loving, hating, and being annoyed—all of it. At the core I think it displays how uncomfortable I can get when a situation arises and plays with my insecurities in any form of relationship. It’s sad, but when I feel threatened I feel the need to protect myself by lashing out. I want to be cold. I want to be like, “Fine, fuck you.” BUT I am still trying sooo harddd to fight nawwwttt to beeee soooo bitter and petty. Nobody wants to love something that is so negative. It’s gross. Like, it’s literally my least favorite quality that I am seriously trying to fix. *insert sos emoji*

To overcome that feeling of being insecure, uncomfortable, confused, bitter, and even sometimes upset things aren’t going the way you hoped they would, I think it’s easiest to actively calm yourself down and focus on the very moment you are in with yourself or with a person who has the potential to evoke those emotions. Don’t think about the potential of what they could be because you might be creating expectations that may never be met and that could upset you. Don’t think about what they were in the past because you aren’t there anymore. Focus on the present moment you are in with them. Fight like hell to be at peace with them and yourself as you exist in the same moment together. I think when you reach that point life gets way better. It feels like you kind of made it. It feels like that downhill is about to be sccchhhwweeeettt.

To briefly discuss the root of the inspiration behind this wavy playlist I had a friend recently say, “You guys are on and off more than a light switch.” They said this after the playlist and concept were created, but I think it still fits. That statement at face value is funny to me. It’s also accurate. Upon further reflection though (since I’m like, the best at thinking too much) I think it’s important to remember that even when a light is switched off, the wiring doesn’t go away. That spark can always return. It just takes one action. That’s it. A moment of courage or effort can have the potential to light up your entire world and change everything you know. It’s also important to remember that without darkness you may never appreciate the light you are given no matter how long it lasts. A deep connection is rare. I wouldn’t trade mine for anything.

Song Explanations:

The playlist opens up with Lauren singing about wanting to be with someone who makes her grow upward, but the person there right now isn’t pushing to be better or make her better. The lyrics in the second verse show how Lauren is evolving positively and the girl she’s referring to isn’t progressing.

Truth Be Told not only has a great sound, but the story is fairly universal as well. The opening line is, “Say somethin’ / Know that there’s two sides to every story.” Literally, please just say something. Verse two talks about why they broke up.

Click here to read to lyrics for Truth Be Told by THEY.

So, I actually listened to Stoney the night it was released last year. I was mainly obsessed with No Option, Feel, Patient, Leave, Feeling Whitney, Hit This Hard and Congratulations. It wasn’t until recently I saw a short video of Post Malone singing I Fall Apart live on Twitter and I was like, “Bruh, I felt the words you just sang in my soul.” The emotion he conveyed was powerful. Since then, I’ve been listening to the song probably too much. The lyrics “I fall apart down to my core,” leave me shooketh.

Snow nails how I feel sometimes when my anger and frustration gets the best of me. “Getting attached / I’m gonna go / I’ll be alright / I’m better alone..You’re a fucking waste of time.” Her flow is ridiculous. This song is so smooth whether you’re dealing with anything or not.

Furthest Thing by Drake was a song I played heavily during the spring of 2017. I would list my favorite lyrics from this song, but it would be damn near the whole thing. Most importantly though is the lyric, “The furthest thing from perfect like everyone I know.”

Click here to read the lyrics for Furthest Thing by Drake

I used to think there was a certain point at which I would give up on Him. Hell, Fuxk Around is even by one of his favorite artists, Marty Grimes. So many people have told to move on. Forget about it. He’s dead weight. He’s a mess. He’s a fuckboy. The list goes on. To some degree I have moved on. I don’t hang onto every word or silence between us like I used to. I don’t feel angry anymore. I just feel this weird calm right now. I think that’s good though. I mean, it sure beats crying myself to sleep or craving his attention, like I once did. I swear I used to see the type of car he once had like evvv-eryyy-wherrre and the reminder of him would just unleash this weird wave of heat over my entire body, until I got distracted enough, and then it would leave. What’s even more weird is that I wish I could actually put words to why I would feel that way so I could’ve controlled it better. Either way, time and space have a way of bringing people together or keeping them apart. I guess for us, for now, I’m just lucky we manage to always find our way back eventually. It kind of feels like nothing could actually break that connection past repair because we’re too honest with each other.

#Icanteven is just a littttt ass song by one of my favorite bands who manages to mix genres ridiculously well.

Friends With Benefits by Tory Lanez is definitely a song that makes me just want to dance. Everything about the song makes me feel dangerous. And yeah, I know that sounds crazy.

Heartbeat by Childish Gambino is a song I’ve been playing A LOT. One of my friends made this sick playlist for me and this song was in there. The entire narrative is wild and the music production is even wilder. It’s all sooo great.

“Hold up they don’t love you like I love you..What a wicked way to treat the girl who loves you.” Ya know, it’s crazy because I think a lot of the upset I used to feel from people I had feelings for was derived from me giving so much and just expecting my efforts would be matched by them. I learned that is definitely not the way to be. You either stick around because you care enough about them or you leave. What they do or don’t do hopefully shouldn’t drive you away unless you let it.

SZA is literally my queen right now. Her album Ctrl changed my life when it came out in June. The entire album speaks to me. Prom was the first song off the album I really felt a connection to. The beat reminds me of a heartbeat. I can relate to the lyrics, “Fearin’ not growin’ up / Keepin’ me up at night / Am I doin’ enough? / Feel like I’m wastin’ time,” because sometimes I do feel like I’m not where I should be or I’m not doing enough to get to where I feel I belong. In my head I hear not only myself, but another perspective from someone else saying, “Promise to get a little / Better as I get older / And you’re so patient / And sick of waitin’ / Promise to do better / Shoulda coulda / Prolly wanna let me go / But you can’t, oh.” That same perspective of someone not being on my same level also bleeds into the lyrics, “Please don’t take it, don’t take it personal / Like I know you usually do.” I accidentally take, like everything wayyy too personal sometimes. It’s dumb, and I’m working on it. I don’t mean to be something that frustrates you, and I know you don’t mean to frustrate me. It just happens.

Click here to read the lyrics from Prom by SZA

Same Ones by Marko Penn is this dope song that expresses a few different phases I’ve had in my life, but at the core I stay with the same ones who have always been there for me.

In the past I’ve had to deal with being with someone who was going through some issues, and they dealt with those feelings with substances. It kills me inside when other people choose an object or substance over me. You only want me when it’s convenient for you but your actions are having negative effects on you and me. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough, and it hurts to see you medicate yourself so much. The song Sober by Dylan Matthew is well produced and I enjoy the story he tells.

I see myself a lot in Heart by Cam Meekins. I relate to the female he’s singing about and I also relate to Cam’s perspective too. “Coffee colored eyes / Sick of writing love songs.” Sometimes I feel so intoxicated by his brown eyes, and sometimes it annoys me that he inspires some of my best work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It makes me feel like a creep. I used to feel like the next lyrics, which is really weird when I actually think about it. “It’s like when I am far from you, I want nothing but you / But when I have you here, it’s like I’m only thinking “fuck you” / So maybe I’m the problem, I can’t figure it out / Because no matter what I do, the cycle keeps going around.” I think it has to do with the expectation and fantasy you build that person up to be in your head and then you get disappointed when they don’t live up to the standards you A) didn’t tell them about and B) should’ve never placed on them in the first place. I swear, I have learned so much about people and myself over these past couple years.

The last song is sooooo fucked up. I Gotta Hurt You by Cardi B is crazy. There used to be a time in my life where if I got hurt or felt attacked by someone I just felt the need to get them back with that same hurt. Not physically, but I do have a mean side I am deffo not proud of. It doesn’t even make sense to hurt something you love, but it happens.

If you stuck with me through all of this mumbo jumbo I wish I could give you a hug. I went IN on this week’s playlist and description. Congratulations, I opened up too much about parts of me I do not like, but I’ve never really been scared to express myself. Learn from my mistakes because I am trying my damndest to do the same. There’s this episode of Scrubs where Turk keeps telling Carla she’s making mountains out of molehills. I hope when I get out of line those closest to me continue to keep putting me back in my place. It stings, but I’ll love you for it anyway.

Love,

-E xx.

p.s. To go back to the title, “WTF ARE WE DOING?” I have no clue, and I don’t care to try and figure it out right now. Despite everything we’ve been through, life is still litt when I get to exist with you. I’ll always want to cheer you on. I wouldn’t trade our seconds for anything hun. xx.

#comp playlist #lauren sanderson #they.#post malone #snow tha product #drake #marty grimes #the neighbourhood #blaise moore #g-eazy #tory lanez #childish gambino #beyonce #sza #marko penn #dylan matthew #cam meekins #cardi b

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selfrighteousbarding · 5 years

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The Waves

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Plucking at the chords with a soft momentous action Menfin would close his eyes and open his mouth so that he might sing, in a hauntingly soft voice “There are waves.. up in the diamond sky.. Stronger than you and I.. Am a wave.” Menfin allowed a slight smirk to slide across his lips as+ the song continued to slowly pick up momentum in a manner that could only be described as jarring, and he began to slide a few twanging chords into the music that were almost painful on the ears despite the unearthly beauty of the song “I break through the barrier reef.. cut through the carbon sea, approaching the shore.” The lyrics seemed to trickle out of Menfin at a more rapid pace as he allowed the music to skip a beat slightly, the tempo changing jarringly for the briefest moment to something slightly slower before he increased it in that same off-putting manner that would be hard to properly recognize to all but+ the most practiced students of music and sang in a quick pitter patter voice “Look at the sky, look at the trees. Monsieur it's all the same to me Look at the stars, look at the birds And all of these invented words.”

The pace of the chords continued forward at that offputting galop as he sang that pitter patter tune, so that when he returned towards the previous stampeding tune it had been at prior to the switch up, subtly adding more off-kiltering twanging to the music as+ he sang in a soft voice “One body's dying breath is another's birth.. What are you running from, what are you running from? Sister jury, brother judge and you will recognize this grudge” his voice raised both in anger and in pitch as he lifted his head to the sky and sang “Buried deep beneath the sands and these ridiculous demands!”

The song seemed to trickle along as Menfin kept singing, not missing a beat as the pace continued to increase “No time for innocence, or sitting on the fence. What are you gonna doo, what are you gonna doooo? When the waves cover the coastal plain..” the song continued to gallop along picking up momentum slowly in that same manner as he sang “all the stores and the schools and estates.. and the lanes of honeybee, cemeteries.. beneath well-insulated dignitaries.” the pace seemed to pick up the strumming growing in its unearthly intensity and he reared his head to the sky and sang out in a wounded voice “All screaming of the memory of a human love. For any*thing* or any*one*” The song quickly transitioned at that, the change almost, and quite intentionally, jarring as he sang “Look at the birds, look at the bees, Madame it's all the same to me. Look at the girls, look at the gold, gathered, beat and bought and sold..” there was a slight pause in the singing “One man's innocence is another's chance,” the momentum continued to increase alongside the increased twanging, oddly hard to notice considering the slow increase in it throughout the rest of the song ” What were you thinking ooooof, what were you thinking oooooooooof? Menfin smirked over at the audience once more and leaned in as he sang in a soft voice just barely audible over the lyrics “Now please let me boil it down to this, my son. This party's getting wet, but it ain't over yet. So what is it gonna be, what is it gonna beeee?” he let his voice trail out for a while+ before leaning back as the twanging for that one moment became far more noticable for the briefest moment “Just let the waves” the twanging returned to its previous level, “cover the coastal plain The *fear* and the *guilt* and the *pain*.”

“And the lanes of honeybee jealousy,” Menfin seemed to whisper over that unearthly offkiltering gallop “of well insulated bigotry.” he smirked out at the audience once more before allowing a glare to slide across his face as he sang in a softly haunting voice with just a hint of a threat layered within the act “And if you don't agree, you'd better get back inside your cave.” the anger of the song began to increase for a moment once more as he sang “'Cause we're all dancing with the waves.. Up in the diamond sky! Stronger than you and I.. am a WAVE.”

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batfam-art · 7 years

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Love me like you love pie. (Dean x reader)

A/N: This is for @imaginesofthelord’s 200 followers celebration. By the way, I would never love someone like I love pie. That’s impossible.

Word count: 814

You started to hunt when you were 12. You were hunting with your parents but a hunt went wrong and you lost them. Then you were all alone. Years past, and a hunt went wrong for you too. You were losing blood. A lot. You got lucky, you managed to shoot that Wendigo before you fell to the ground. You were slowly falling into the darkness. You were sure that you wont survive this time. There was no one to come for you. You closed your eyes started to wait for the inevitable end. But then you felt someone pushing your wound to stop the bleeding. “You are gonna be okay lady.” The man said. But you blacked out. You opened your eyes in a motel room. A man was sitting on the other bed. Clearly he was a hunter. “Who are you?” you asked. “I’m Dean, and this is my brother Sam.” He said. You didn’t see other guy reading calmly. “Winchesters?” You were suprised. “How did you?..” “Oh c'mon every hunter knows you.” You said. “So you are the one who killed our hunt.” Other guy -Sam- said, smiling. “Well yeah.”

And that’s how you met with them. You saw them a few more times, then you started to stay and hunt with them. You became pretty good friends with Dean. Same taste of food and music was helping. You and Dean allways sing during hunting trips and it was annoying Sam but it didn’t stop you two. Once you sang the same song -Highway to Hell- 5 times. You and Dean’s life story was basicly beer, cheesburger, pie, classic rock and killing things. Simple but awesome. So you were best friends. Now you were sitting on the back seat of Baby. “I never meant to beeee so bad to yoooouuuuu!” Dean and you were singing again. “One thing I said that I would never doooo!” Sam sighed. “Seriously? Heat of the moment?” He whispered. “ One look from you and I would fall from grace!” You laughed. Song moved on. “ ‘Cause it was the heeeeaaat oooof the mooooment!!!” Dean hit to Sam’s chest. “C'mon Sammy!” You were still singing the song but Dean stopped. He was listening you. Of course you didn’t know it. He was getting lost in your (y/e/c) eyes and he was fascinated by your melodic laughs. Your smile, oh God your smile. There was no words to describe how beautiful your smiling was. But he was your best friend, there was no way you would love him like he loves you. He just smiled and kept singing with you. But he didn’t know you were slowly falling in love with him. —————————-▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪》 “C'mon Dean, let’s go get pie.” You said. He looked up to you, understanding that you need to talk to him. Alone. “Okay.” He ansewered. You got in the Impala. He started the engine. After a while, he finally asked you. “What happened (y/n)?” You bit your lips. You had no idea about what to say. “I just want some pie.” You lied. “Oookay” he sounded like he didn’t believe you. You sighed. “Who am I kidding? Dean there is something I need to tell you.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Listening.” You took a deep breath. “I fell in love with my best friend.” You finally said. “Yeah?….” he said. “You are my best friend idiot.” You giggled. He was suprised. You were feeling the same way. You loved him like he loves you. He stopped the car and looked at you. Then he grab you tight and kissed you. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.” He said. You just stood like that. You couldn’t say anything, couldn’t move hell, you couldn’t even breathe. For a moment he thought what he’ve done was wrong, that you were angry at him but no. It wasn’t that. It was you never thought he would feel the same way. You wished you said that before. You pulled him to yourself and kissed him roughly. “We should probably go to the back seat.” You smiled. He looked your beautiful eyes and said “Yeah probably. On the back seat of my '67 Chevy.” You raised your eyebrows. “Sam is right. Everything totally is a Bob Seger song to you.” You said. “At least I didn’t say 'We got tonight, who needs tomorrow?’ Because I totally need tomorrow. Like really. I need a life time with you.” He answered. You kissed him again, knowing this night was about to go crazy. “But we need pie after this.” You said. “Oh of course we need pie (y/n). We can’t live without pie.” He smiled and kept going. “Would you really spend a life time with me?” “Of course I would. As long as you love me like you love pie.” You said and you weren’t lying. If you two love each other like you love pie, nothing could go wrong.

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader #heat of the moment #pie #follower celebration #imaginesofthelord

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morg-not-morgue · 6 years

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I got tagged in something!

Anyone that sees this and wants to do this can, since I don’t really have anyone to tag 😅 (also, sorry if this ends up being long!)

1. Name/Nickname: My name is Morgan, but my family calls me Morg. I kind of wish the nickname stuck more cause I like it a lot more than Morgan!

2. Gender: Female.

3. Star sign: Pisces! I’m a fish girl!

4. Height: I think I’m 5’7”? Maybe?

5. Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff! But I might be a little bit of Ravenclaw too.

6. Favorite animal: I love pugs and dolphins! They’re both such funny and goofy animals. Plus pugs look like they ran into a wall.

7. Hours of sleep: It kind of depends on when I have to wake up, but I try to get around 8 hours a night since I have school and work.

8. Dogs or cats: I like both! I like the personality of dogs but I love how cats are so independent. I think I lean towards dogs.

9. Number of blankets: I have one huge comforter and a sheet on my bed, but I have smaller blankets everywhere.

10. Dream trip: I’d love to go to some Asian countries since it’s do different from South Carolina. I also want to go to Europe and California! I think Texas would be great to go to since my dad said their BBQ is so good!

11. Dream job: I think being a model would be fun. I don’t really have a dream job. I’m kind of the type of person that would love to do all kinds of jobs.

12. Time: It’s 7:04 PM! (I should be doing homework right now)

13. Birthday: March 5, 1997! I just turned 21 a few days ago! 🥂

14. Favorite bands: Avenged Sevenfold, FEMM, EXO, 2ne1, Bullet for my Valentine, Foo Fighters, Red Velvet, NCT, Evanescence, In This Moment, BABYMETAL, Perfume, KARD, BigBang, Dreamcatcher, Icon for Hire, Lip Service, Orange Caramel, Exist Trace

15. Favorite solo artists: REOL, Poppy, HyunA, Kesha, Sunmi, CL, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, Minzy, Grace, Kerli, Lily Allen, Nicki Minaj, Panic! At the Disco (since it’s just Brandon Urie at this point), TOP (kpop not the duo), Yezi, Britney Spears

16. Song stuck in my head: Yum Yum Yum by Lip Service

17. Last movie I watched: The Last Showman

18. Last show I watched: I’m watching season 16 of America’s Next Top Model now!

19. When did I create this blog: I created it in high school I think? I’ve had it for so long I don’t really remember. I do know I hated it when I first made it though 😂

20. What do I post/reblog: cute stuff, anime, memes, things I think are funny/cute, kpop (mainly my child Kyungsoo from EXO), just about anything I like really. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.

21. Last thing I googled: Restaurants near me...

22. Other blogs: I only have this one! One is enough trouble sometimes 😂

23. Do I get asks: never! I wish I did though. I’d like to have more mutuals, but I have a hard time talking to people I don’t know. I will always answer when you message me though!

24. Why I chose my url: Ok, story time! My best friend was introducing me to someone once and she was listing all of the nicknames related to my name (Morgie, MoMo, etc) and I mentioned that my family calls me Morg. She said “that is so depressing!” And I was like huh?

Her dumb ass said “Morgues are where you put dead people, Morgan!”

I said “M-O-R-G!” And she got so embarrassed. When I got home, I was trying to decide what to change my URL to and I thought of that conversation and figured it would be pretty cool.

25. Following: 475!

26. Followers: 420 blaze it!

27. Lucky number: I don’t really have one. I really like odd numbers though.

28. Favorite instrument: I used to play the flute so I guess that’s one. I also think piano is really pretty.

29. What am I wearing: My Pink hoodie with holo lettering and my green and red Christmas pajama pants. So comfy!

30. Favorite food: I’ve been loving Korean and Vietnamese food lately! I also really love PBJ sandwiches! They’re so good! Chips and Salsa is also a favorite.

31. Nationality: I’m white...I think I have some polish in me, but I don’t know how much or if I really do. I should do a DNA test to see what I have.

32. Favorite song: This is so hard! Victim by Avenged Sevenfold is typically a favorite, since my favorite changes all the time. Right now I’m loving I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend by Weki Meki and Peek-A-Boo by Red Velvet. That one has been a favorite for a while! (It might be their best song to date!)

33. Last book read: Sailor Moon volume 6! It’s my favorite manga series of all time!

34. Top 3 fictional universes I’d like to join: Oh gosh! Ummm, I think the first would be Sailor Moon. Being able to see the sailor scouts in action would be amazing! Plus outside of villains from other planets/times, it seems pretty peaceful.

I’d also like to be in any kdrama world, since everything goes great in them 😂 Boo Thang and I could take 7 years to start a relationship then live happily ever after like in Strong Girl Bong Soon (which is my current favorite drama)!

The last universe would have to beeee...omg this is hard!...Ouran High School Host Club. Mori-Senpai is my favorite character from the manga/show since he is so funny when he actually says/does something, so I’d love to be one of his guests and chill with him for a while 😂

#text #me #tag #this was fun

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