#is this the last tiem im gonna be a part of a fandom

[moved-19871997]

.

#as much as im a creative person i tihink i need to stel=p back from fandom spaces bc this is the most overwhelmed and overworked ive been in #my entire life and thinking about creating things for fandom as a thing on my todo list just Isnt It #and ive had this same train of thoguht before like #is this the last tiem im gonna be a part of a fandom?? #and honestl yy probably not #mobies and shows and books will come out and ill get absuredly intp them #andd like. its literally been a month into mcyt and i can already tell i need to. step back only liveblog??? i think yeha #quite frankyl. its a waste of my time to?? do fandom things not bc im above it bc i find. a lot of enjoyment in it just creativly i have #other things i enjoy?? #adn ive been in fandom spaces for so gd long and ive spent so muc h of my life consumed w it #and looking at like. my fucking screentime or whatever #its a problem and not bc its a lot og time bc im using it as a distraction from other things i need to do #i enjouy fandom i think its fun however im in yr12 im doing 4 and a half alevels and im doing driving theory and im behind on all of it #an d i still need to learn js properly #and theres a lot of like. things abt myself adn teh way im conducting my life that i need to improve and one of them is cutting out fandom #i think. today made me rlly realise shit like #i went tp skeep at 5am i was woekn up at 7 i sltep iuntil 10 i was late for my lesson #and tehn i got overwhelmed w all the stiff i had to do so i didnt do it and tehn i went out to the shop to procrastinate smoe more #im behind to the point where i might need to drop some things and i dont want to drop any of my school work i still want to learn js i still #want to improve my gutiar i still want to do my driving tehory #fandom needs to go #i wonder if. i f i never really got into fanfic or tumblr when i was younger if i would be better off #i would have a healthieir sleeping schedual i wpuld be better at school/less distracted. but i wpouldn t have met certain people and i would #have been even lonlier when i was younger #i cant tell if this is teh best or worse ive been mentally and its rlly fucking with me #anyway. dnr

[weightywritings-adiposeart]

SO WHAT IF i dont have a hot mosnter partner

so what if i dont talk to my friends too often 

i can just

write my funny little ocs having their hot mosnter partners and getting fat and having sexy fun times (okay i actually dont need that last bit my part, but i will and can write if i so desire im a grown ass woman) and being beautifully unhuman and

write my ocs jhaving all the friends

there’s a reason why iyana exists

shes just a silly human loser who draws kink sihdd and likes a lot of fandoms and is weak compared to her friends but beloved and gonna get  ahot monster partner one of these days, even one of my friends agree that she can hook up witht ehri ocs with tiems and

fuck yeah

im so cool 

so cool that 

im sexy and wonderufl and deserve all the love