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#is this too personal
oatmilkovich · 2 years
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shout out to the sensitive girlies who get constantly told “i thought you were a bitch before we were friends” or that they’re intimidating or anything like that. you are soft, you are kind, you are gentle, you are loving. you are not made up of other people’s ideas. 
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evergreen-femme · 8 months
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im rly rly happy tonight
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iiigris · 5 months
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“my child is completely fine” your child sleeps with a weighted blanket, numerous large stuffed animals, and wants someone nearly twice their weight to lay directly on top of them and crush the soul back into their body
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skz-miroh · 2 years
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Me checking my marked for later list on ao3 knowing i added a bunch of fics while half-conscious at 4am and literally not being able to remember a single one of them
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witherfide · 8 months
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i have a hard time coping with the idea that people can perceive me and my work, hence why i have such a hard time posting on social media.
but people are aaaalways telling me that i should enter contests or do freelance work and i
don’t think i could?
don’t get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE the art community. i think it’s so amazing that people can come together and make super cool murals all over their town/city and potentially make new art buddies
but
that fear of recognition is super intimidating to me
being online means i can at least be the person i wish i was, but irl i’m just
kinda there
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beluvbug · 7 months
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Notes taken during 3d animation
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prettyblondguys · 1 year
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In my Girl Boss Era*
*working hard to give myself a better life because I know that's what my father would have wanted for me
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v1olentdelights · 1 year
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I don't need anyone.
Except I need someone to tell me that it's okay, that I'm allowed to be mad and sad at the same time. I need someone who will hold me when I am crying because my best friend from the very beginning left me. I need someone to wipe my tears and kiss my forehead and reassure me that they love me no matter what and mean it. I need someone who doesn't try to fix me but meets me halfway.
I don't need anyone... except I do.
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vive-la-revolution · 2 years
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i HATE motion sensor flushing toilets SO much oh my GOD
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selectmorsels · 2 years
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monday 4 april 2022, 12:51am
i'm listening to the same songs i used to listen to during that summer with ori and emma. the long night walks. loose clothes, suburban houses, concrete and stupid conversations and motion blur. no cars out. singing "mr. brightside" too loud. walks back home on still-lit sherbrooke with emma. the inherent loneliness of the night.
and those calls that lasted til the sun started to come back up, and the sky turned lighter shades of blue. the birds waking up at four am. sleeping backwards, the sheets too hot. naked and flirting in the way that sexually confused teenagers do. the quiet after the call ends.
i've spent so much of my life trying to convince myself i'm not desperately lonely.
it's on nights like this, when no one is awake anymore, that it swallows me whole.
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satankilledmyghost · 2 years
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This isn't a request just wanted to know if you were alright and alive since you haven't been uploading for a while hope your doing well
also Im 🐼🔪 annon now >:]
-🐼🔪
hello 🐼🔪 anon! thank you for checking in! i hope you're doing good and taking care of yourself.
i am, in fact, alive, and i've been doing okay. i've actually been trying to post a quick update so your ask came at a perfect time.
i originally slowed down my posts because my school year was ending and i had to focus on catching up in a class along with switching schools and setting up my schedule for next year. i also had state testing shortly after my school year ended, so i was focusing on that.
my plan was to get back into posting and writing after those things were finished, but i had writers block so i gave myself some more time away from writing so i wouldn't burn myself out.(tw: mentions of panic attack, anxiety, and throwing up in next paragraph)
during that time, a summer camp that i had volunteered to lead in started and i have major social anxiety so the camp starting was taking up my mental energy(bc i get anxious even before a social event happens and it sucks). when the camp started, i had a panic attack(also my first one- it was scary as hell) the morning of, and it physically affected me. i couldn't eat, drink, move around without feeling like i was going to throw up, and i could barely sleep despite being exhausted. this happened in the past week so i've just been trying to recover.
the camp is starting again tomorrow, and while i love working with kids and being a camp leader(bc i've done it before), my anxiety has been a bitch. i have three more weeks of this, and while it is getting easier, i'm still physically suffering because of my anxiety.
i've been able to eat, drink, and sleep. i recovered quickly after i was done with camp last week- i even helped co-host a bridal shower!- but since the camp is starting again tomorrow, i can feel my anxiety starting to affect me.
you don't need to worry, though, i have plenty of support for when it gets bad and i have an amazing therapist that's been helping me through this so i'll be okay! other than that, i've been doing well! thank you for asking.
i have, however, received some requests in the past week, so to those people- your requests are coming! i promise you- you aren't being ignored. it's just going to take a lot longer than i had hoped, so please be patient with me! i'm slowly working on them whenever i have the chance :)
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datingtrees · 2 months
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maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]
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rat-presenting · 7 months
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You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am
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inkskinned · 8 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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selfhealingmoments · 11 months
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iero · 5 months
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Full offense, but I think milk substitution charges should not exist at coffee shops. It is NOT my or anyone's fault that they cannot have dairy and that's that.
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