#is this what patton does on his off days

[orbmanson7]

Time to analyze the next part of the "The Sides Need a Nice Day" video, this time it's Virgil and Roman.

(If you want to read the first part about Patton and Logan, read that here.

If you want to read the last part about Janus and Remus, go here.)

Moments here are less about foreshadowing and more about recollection and the current standings amongst the sides, most notably how Roman feels about his place after all the events in SvS:R (and likely the FwSA Asides episode).

Virgil starts off by stating he noticed Roman being whinier and moodier lately, more so than usual. It's possible at this point that he doesn't have full context from the SvS:R episode as he wasn't in attendance, though we know he's at least aware of Janus' involvement/acceptance because he brings it up in the FwSA Asides episode.

He describes Roman as being a bummer, and Virgil (like Patton) is able to pick up on this because it's something he sees in himself enough to recognize it. He empathizes with Roman even if he doesn't fully understand why Roman feels the way he does, because he's been in a spot like that before himself, moody and down in the dumps.

He says that he figured something needed to be done and says he might as well be the one to do it. It doesn't seem like this is out of obligation, which is the way he's attempting to frame it, but rather that he's noticed Roman feels down and has a desire to help him out.

He saw that Patton was relatively successful at cheering Logan up so he decides to give that method a try. However, he uses it in a very different way.

First things first, he immediately pops in, startling Roman, which you'd think would not be the right play here, but Virgil isn't sucking up to Roman's ego to cheer him up today, he's just trying to give him something fun to do and focus on instead.

Virgil doesn't start off by explaining what he's doing, he just gets started. When Roman yells, asking what is wrong with him (because he's a king of deflection), Virgil then explains in simple terms (with some free insults thrown in) what it is that they're doing. He specifically states "we are going to..." throughout this, implying this is meant to be a group activity.

I want to point out this difference from Patton and Logan's version, as Patton had instead chosen solo activities for Logan (as those are what he likes) and was just tagging along the whole time, but they did not participate in those activities together.

Virgil and Roman, however, are doing these activities with each other.

The reason for this may tie back to love languages, interestingly enough. While the intention lends to all of the video falling under the 'acts of kindness' love language, each part has something specific to the side of focus, as well.

For Patton and Logan, Patton being knowledgeable about what Logan enjoyed without asking and then presenting the activities to him instead of participating alongside him would technically count as 'gift-giving'. And for Virgil and Roman, Virgil finding common ground the two of them share and finding similar interests to further their bond, sharing and spending time together, would be 'quality time'.

And later, for Janus and Remus, Janus knowing what Remus enjoys but not participating directly in the activity with him could count as 'gift-giving', but also validating his interests and thoughts could count (in a way) as 'words of affirmation' (which I'll discuss more in the next post).

So, Virgil has already planned for these activities to be done together with Roman. The activities in question, however, do not all require a second party, but are more enjoyable with one.

They start with listening to that new rendition of We Didn't Start the Fire, and Roman is confused as to what he's hearing because it's not what he knows or expects. He's caught off guard because he believed one thing but was instead told another.

Wonder what that's reminiscent of...

Virgil quickly explains what it actually is, as well as his opinion that it's better.

What Virgil is trying to do here is what a lot of people enjoy doing - sharing music that they love! Virgil is aware that Roman enjoys music and he knows Roman likes this particular song, so Virgil, having heard the new rendition and liking it, believed that sharing it with Roman might allow for yet another shared interest of theirs. He's trying to find more things they can both enjoy together, which is very thoughtful and nice of him to do. It shows that Virgil genuinely considers them friends and they've grown much closer over all this time.

When Roman doesn't seem all that pleased about the song, however, Virgil is VERY quick to offer "I've got others" to salvage his attempt. He doesn't sound upset, though, simply prepared as though he anticipated this could happen. Roman gladly takes the offer because things have already started off in an unexpected way for him and he would rather find something familiar next.

He seems excited by the next activity, only to be confused and somewhat alarmed at what it turns out to be instead. Virgil explains and even states that he thought Roman would be interested in the Disney creepypastas, again as something that can act as a shared interest between them. We've seen, long long ago in The Dark Side of Disney episode, that Roman and Virgil do already have a shared interest very similar to this, so it's understandable that Virgil would attempt to build on a foundation that's already been established.

When Roman says he's done and wants to move on, Virgil simply accepts it, just says "cool" and brings up the next options to pick. It's interesting to see how Virgil is so accepting of this despite Roman's dismissals so far. He doesn't appear to be offended that Roman isn't really liking his suggestions, likely because Virgil has either prepared for this possibility or because he knows he's building on their shared interests that already exist.

To give an example, if you and your friend like the same tv show, but you disagree on your favorite character, that doesn't mean you don't both still love the show or can even enjoy watching it together. It just means you enjoy different aspects of it, and that bond isn't ruined in any way, even if it could potentially be a stronger bond if you both liked the same character.

In this case, for Virgil, he already knows he and Roman have these shared interests, he just wants to strengthen that bond, so throwing ideas out there and seeing what works doesn't have to be stressful. It is surprising that he's not more nervous about the potential of a worst-case scenario, considering that's kind of his norm, but this may just be because he's more focused on giving Roman something nice to do and so he's less worried about his own thoughts in the moment.

Moving on, when Virgil gives the next options, Roman looks concerned. They've already had two strikes, two instances where he thought he'd get one thing when it was really another. So now he's worried what the next option will entail. Will it be another mistake?

He's unfortunately right to worry because Virgil's attempt to offer a spider as an animal companion doesn't sit well with Roman. He is extremely uncomfortable and is more desperate to move on to something else rather than stay there any longer.

I want to point this out, that Roman is still participating in all of this. Having had three strikeouts in a row, it would make sense for him to assume none of these ideas were going to be something he liked and he could give up and just go back to what he was doing earlier. But instead, he chooses to try another option with Virgil.

I think this may be significant for his character, likely because Roman wants this to work. Whether that is because it's a distraction from how he feels (even if it's not the most welcome one) or because he wants to enjoy himself and not be alone in all of this, he is still willing to try more options until they find something that works.

It showcases Roman's tenacity and perseverance in an interesting way, that he will keep going until he finds the right solution (not too little, not too big, but just right).

That being said, it doesn't mean he has to do it with a smile on his face, as he's clearly frustrated once he sees what his next option will be.

It seems like a nice activity that he would normally enjoy, but considering how every previous activity had already turned out differently than he'd hoped, he is now expecting the worst.

Virgil follows through, reading him a fairy tale, and of course, tells the original version of The Little Mermaid. Roman is not pleased by this, seeming increasingly bothered and upset, because yet again, this isn't what he expected and ultimately not what he wanted.

He eventually yells out in frustration his problem with the story, saying that that's not how the story goes.

Virgil argues that he's telling the real story (which he is) and attempts to tack on the point about the mermaid being rewarded in the end for her selflessness, as though in an attempt to placate to Roman a little bit.

But Roman cuts him off, declaring that the prince in the story wouldn't be that "stupid or mean," because he's a prince, and that's not how princes are meant to be.

"A prince always does the right thing, the good thing."

And then he suggests that maybe that's not the real ending to the story.

What Roman is doing here, which should be obvious, is projecting his insecurities (mostly about the end of SvS:R) that have yet to be resolved onto this other story. He's giving his thoughts on his own identity issues and personal struggles.

He was faced with an enormous change in his reality after SvS:R, having been led to believe for so long that he was doing what was right and good, that he was the good guy, the hero. But then he was slapped in the face with the realization that there's far more grey area than he could ever possibly imagine, and that the moral compass he'd been using to guide his righteous path hadn't been as righteous and reliable as he'd thought. He's stuck in a position of having done what he believed to be right and now being told that it was wrong, which feels unfair because he thought he was seen as a hero and now he's being told that he's not.

It's an extremely sobering and depressing notion that Roman hasn't even begun to address yet.

Virgil seems to realize that what Roman is getting at isn't his dislike of the story, it's that he wants comfort right now, and stories can provide that when used in certain ways, such as for escapism.

Escapism is something both Virgil and Roman would likely understand rather well.

For Virgil, it's a way to relieve stress and anxiety, to get away from the terrors of the real world for just a moment.

For Roman, it's a way to indulge in fantasy and pretend those troubles are far away. He can imagine a way to fight them off or avoid them completely as if they no longer exist.

Escapism can be dangerous if not reeled in, though. You have to face reality at some point or you'll never grow and improve yourself.

But right now, Virgil's whole reason for doing this was to cheer Roman up, to make him feel better, so if that meant letting Roman have his fantasy instead, just for a while, then he would do that.

So he alters the story he was telling, gives it something more along the lines of its Disney rendition's ending, makes it more saccharine and sweet, and this gets Roman to finally relax, which shows how much this method really works for him (and how much he may rely on it, too).

Now, the story points that Virgil mentions are very intriguing. Firstly, they are different than the Disney version, so he's not just ripping that off, he's making some of this up but still has it based on the original tale.

The parts he changes? He mentions the prince realizing the marriage was a sham, the prince finding the little mermaid before she turned to foam and saving her, that the prince proclaimed his love for her, that the little mermaid realized the prince was good all along, and that they lived happily ever after.

These all sound like wish fulfillments for Roman - things that he specifically would want, as they all center the prince's actions in the story (not the little mermaid's, you know, the titular character).

Now, if I had to guess, I believe this is meant to be taken as an analogy for an ideal version of Roman being Thomas' hero, where Roman is acting as the prince and Thomas is acting as the little mermaid, and I'll explain why.

I believe the marriage being a sham part is less of an analogy and more of a reference to the wedding vs callback scenario, and saying it was a sham is meant to imply that Janus had set things up (as the supposed bad guy) so that Roman (the heroic prince) would look stupid. Realizing it was a sham puts the prince in a position of power over the one setting the trap, making him appear smarter and confident instead for outsmarting his enemy.

The part about the prince finding the mermaid before she turned to foam and saving her might be in reference to Thomas' mental state getting worse, losing himself, so much so that Remus had come along with all those intrusive thoughts, and if Roman had been able to prevent that whole situation, somehow Thomas would be okay and happier and healthier instead.

Proclaiming love should be obvious, Roman (and all the sides, really) genuinely love and care about Thomas, they want him to be happy and safe and healthy and doing what he loves, even if they all think they each know the best way for that to happen. Declaring his love here may mean that Roman can fully express his passion in what he does for Thomas, because he anticipates reciprocation (as you may in any fairytale). If he declares Thomas as his favorite, as his one & only, then perhaps Thomas would do the same of him? This would definitely show Roman's focus on his self-importance and his desire to be paid attention to and adored in turn.

And the mermaid realizing he was good after all is absolutely a direct reference to the end of SvS:R, because the notion that Thomas would not see Roman as his hero absolutely broke him in that moment. Wanting to indulge in the fantasy that, instead, Thomas realizes he is a hero and good and right after all, is his ideal scenario and an escape from what really happened.

And then a classic ending of happy ever after being there is what Roman wants, it's his ultimate ideal. He doesn't care how he gets that ending, so long as he gets it.

Virgil gives him that escape to fantasy, then holds his tongue and runs out of the room before adding "for now." Those words tacked on to the end would bring it all back to reality, because it's true (though quite pessimistic)!

Even if all the ideal parts were to happen, that doesn't mean the story would necessarily be over, or that more events would not then unfold. Roman may be able to get his happy ending, but that doesn't mean the next story won't start right up afterward, throwing everything back into turmoil.

Overall, Virgil was successful in giving Roman something nice that day, specifically something to cling onto while he struggles with the reality of what will inevitably come next. A short reprieve is better than nothing, though.

Now, onto the last part...

#sanders sides analysis #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts spoilers #long post #orbs thought bubbles #alright one last one I'll do tomorrow cuz ive got another double shift day #these have been fun haha #love some good ol classic roman angst from time to time #:)

[jenxwp]

Is There a Doctor in the House? Script

Hey all, it’s been a while but I thought I would have a look at another production script and see what details I could find! So lucky dip off the shelf was… *drumroll* ...Is There a Doctor in the House!

So, this is production #76925 and was probably filmed around March 1996. It first aired in July 1996 and interestingly enough, Altared States was production #76926 meaning it was intended to be the finale. I don’t know about you guys, but I think that would have been a let down compared to ITADITH as the finale. Glad it happened as it did.

The first thing I wanted to point out was that this episode happens over 2 days and 1 night. I don’t know why- I just found that interesting.

So minor detail difference when the first find Ephiny- in the script she is sitting against a tree whereas in the episode, she is lying flat under scrub. The episode also has an extra line that isn’t in the script where Xena acknowledges the wound.

Our first description of Marmax- apparently ‘think General Patton’. I had no idea who this was but google tells me a US army officer from WWI and WWII? Maybe someone with more American military history can fill in any relevance around this?

Also interesting to note- in the episode, after Marmax disperses his troops he sees a Thessalian foot soldier and begins chasing him shouting “Thessalian scum!”. Xena knocks him off his horse with her chakram sharing a nod to the Thessalian. She then draws her sword and wounds him as the teaser fades. This is not quite what is in the script…

I will share a snippet of the first time Xena saves a life in the hospital. There are a few differences in dialogue compared to what was eventually filmed and aired. A few standout points is that in the episode, Gabrielle gets involved in the procedure a lot sooner than was originally scripted. Also, it was scripted a lot more ‘bloody’ with Galen being sprayed with blood. In the episode, Galen does jump back but we don’t see blood everywhere. _90s TV censorship_

We also have a small deleted scene interaction between Democritus, Hippocrates and Galen right after…

Now here is an interesting one! The man’s son that Gabrielle goes to find was originally scripted to be an adult friend. There were also a few extra lines where Gabrielle promises Democritus that she will be careful. This isn’t in the final cut.

This description of Gabrielle’s wounds 😫

Another deleted scene…

Okay I don’t know what to say here… I am glad Xena didn���t hold the baby up by its legs and give its ‘rump a slap’…

Aaand I will just leave this excerpt here…

What script next?

#xena #xena warrior princess #lucy lawless #xenites #renee o'connor

[skeletinmoss]

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 5: Rest and roadtrips

First chapter | Previous | Next

“We start by getting you guys some rest. Then I want to try and get as much milage behind us before the sun rises. I think it’s safe to assume that I’m stuck in a cycle and won’t be able to give you guys clear directions, or be very helpful magic wise in my phoenix form. So I want to get us as close to a proper road as possible before I’m stuck without human speech for hours,” Virgil explained.

“Um… Shouldn’t we start by traveling now and resting by day then?” Roman pointed out.

Virgil smirked at them. “That depends. Do you three think you can handle letting me teach you the revitalization meditation technique I came up with back when I was a wizard?” Virgil wondered.

“What does that entail exactly?” Logan asked.

“Curious are you?” Virgil teased a little smugly. Logan blushed. “I suppose,” he allowed.

“Fast learner. And it’s a good thing you asked. Never agree to stuff before you know the ins and outs. A skilled mage of any kind can make a promise binding if you aren’t careful. Doing so without consent would be considered a curse, but some mages might think it’s worth the hassle,” Virgil explained. Roman got the idea that he had been in front of a classroom before.

“The meditation technique I want to teach you won’t require herbs once you’ve fully mastered it, when you start out it will need something soothing to help lead the way. I noticed lavender was growing in the garden and no trace was left of it in the box of herbs you guys would be uncomfortable around. Am I right to assume that Lavender is a ‘safe’ herb?” Virgil wondered, looking at Roman.

“Um. Yes, lavender is safe,” he confirmed, fully aware that Virgil was humoring him for the time being on the subject of safe and unsafe herbs.

“Good,” Virgil stated as he moved the fingers of his left hand in a delicate pattern and suddenly he held a bundle of freshly harvested lavender between said fingers.

He approached them and handed each of them a bit.

“Ordinarily I only use the lavender when teaching this to wizards, but I don’t know where else your education is going to deviate from mine so we’ll start from the basics and see if we can go more advanced next time. That way you have a method that works at the ready should you struggle with it,” Virgil explained.

“How do we know you won’t be gone when we wake up?” Roman asked, a little nervous about that possibility.

“After that passionate speech you gave?” Virgil smirked. “I’m almost certain you guys would get yourselves in trouble trying to track me down. Too much of a headache to deal with. I’ll just try to gather some supplies here and make a plan, maybe work out some basics for breaking the curse. Or at least counteract it. I can wait an hour. Does that ease your mind?” Virgil asked.

Roman nodded. There hadn’t been a lie there.

Virgil sighed and then assumed a very teacher like pose. “Now, go sit on the floor in a comfortable position. Make sure you can keep it up for an hour,” he instructed. The three mages all settled on the floor cross legged.

“Good. If executed well, this technique will allow your body to recover in an hour the way it would in a full 8 hour sleep,” Virgil stated. Roman and Patton both looked to Logan who, predictably, looked more than a little intrigued by this idea. He’s always been the most frustrated by how much time in a day was wasted on sleep.

Virgil either picked up on that or was just habitually warry of this being a potential issue. “I don’t recommend doing this every night,” he continued. “You need at least one actual night’s sleep a week and even that is pushing it a bit. It depends on your own tolerance level so be aware of when you are starting to wake up a little tired. Don’t brush it off. This is a sign that your body is in need of actual sleep rather than a magically induced recharge.

Don’t be a martyr. Your magic will suffer for it. I speak from experience.” Virgil’s bass voice was serious and even as he said this, making something in Roman’s gut squeeze as the warning seemed to settle into his bones.

“Good, if you are willing. The key of this technique is in your breathing.” And so Virgil talked them through the breathing process and how to use said breathing to draw energy from the environment, using the lavender as a guide if needed.

Breathe the scent and the energy in, and exhale the stress and worries and build up blockage of the day.

Clear the inner paths of your mana for a new day.

Keep breathing like this and eventually it becomes second nature and you are in a meditative trance…

Roman woke up back in the tower. He felt like he hadn’t slept this well in ages… Nor dreamed this vividly in his lifetime…

That was… He felt at his cheeks. Oh he had cried…

“Virgil!” Logan called out, spooking Roman and Patton who’d both forgotten that they weren’t alone in the room.

A void of black appeared and then with a flash of purple light Virgil stood in front of them.

He had a sack packed and from the way it was clearly recently patched up, Roman suspected that it might have belonged to the arch mage. But if he was still alive and trapped like Virgil and hopefully his friends, then he might not mind too much if Virgil borrowed it so he could help save them all.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“You failed to mention the dreams! Or am I to believe that this is unusual!?” Logan demanded, seeming flustered.

Virgil cocked his head. “I mean I usually dream of good memories while in trance but sometimes… Oh… Right.” Virgil looked at the three of them. “You three haven’t had time to really bond with your guides yet huh?” he guessed.

“We met them a week or two ago,” Patton said, his voice a little fragile.

“And they’ve been dying to get to know you for a while I imagine. Sorry about that,” he offered, genuinely feeling bad. Roman could feel his guilt squeeze at his own heart.

“But it shouldn’t have been a bad experience though. Not unless you’ve been messing with some dangerous stuff,” Virgil insisted, a little confused at Logan’s strong reaction.

“It wasn’t… I just don’t like being blindsided like that,” Logan stated, looking away to hide his face.

If Logan’s dream was anything like Roman’s then “It wasn’t bad,” was an understatement.

It had felt like coming home after a long journey and seeing his family again and eating his favorite meal and just being Home. But also like doing something new and exciting and being free. The fire in his heart felt stronger somehow. Like he could just tug at it and summon it to his hand.

Roman wanted to ask about the dream. He wanted Virgil to tell him all about what it all meant and how he could do that again.

But he didn’t want to ask with Logan or Patton around. Especially Logan, he seemed to feel a bit sensitive on the subject.

So instead he asked something else. “When we recalled some of your legendary deeds. You said they were exaggerated… Could you explain that? Just to temper our expectations,” he asked. He’d feel terrible if he failed to protect Virgil just because he assumed he could handle something that he could not.

Virgil seemed to think on that for a moment. “Well, the ‘laugh death in the face’ is just because of, you know. Phoenix stuff. How else are people going to describe watching you losing your head and then with a little flash of fire return to normal as if nothing happened… It wasn’t pleasant, my neck hurt like a bitch for weeks, but I lived.

It's not that impressive. Phoenix bound High mages are a bit more durable than most I guess, but every high mage is pretty sturdy. Janus and Remus are both immune to poison of any kind and Janus has a thick skin let me tell you. You’ll sooner dull your blade than draw blood. It’s not impossible and when he does get injured he’s a whiny bitch until I heal him.

But we’re all pretty durable, my brand of durable is just a bit more dramatic,” he explained disturbingly casually. How often had this man sort of died?

“The star thing… I imagine it’s about Stardust. I found him making trouble in a town while passing through way back. He was just a playful pup though,” he continued.

Patton gasped at that. “You had a puppy!!!?” he asked. This fact clearly improved Virgil’s standing with Patton immensely. And Pat was already the most reluctant to mistrust others.

“I do. I look forward to seeing him again when I get home.”

Roman frowned. Had Virgil managed to give his pet long levity too? Still 50 years of being unsupervised… Then again maybe he left the dog with trusted friends who’d been looking after him since. Roman hoped so. He preferred finding the dog with a sweet elderly couple that used to be twenty somethings when Virgil last saw them rather than the alternative. Virgil didn’t pay attention to his moment of worry though and continued.

“Speaking off home… It’s not spirits. I haven’t bound the souls of the dead to my house. It’s just… lively. You’ll see what I mean,” Virgil stated. “I promise I wasn’t that big a deal.”

Roman looked him up and down skeptically.

“I’ll be the first to admit that I like fancy robes and shiny accessories. But even I would say that that outfit,” Roman pointed to the regal attire Virgil had shown up in. “Is fit for the guest of honor of a royal ball and nothing less,” he declared firmly.

Virgil blushed. “It was just for the fifty hear jubilee okay? I wanted to put in some effort, this is not my go to travel wear. Which reminds me. Do any of you have a spare robe because I’m not wearing these the whole journey,” Virgil insisted, avoiding the subject in Roman’s opinion.

“Roman does,” Patton stated.

Roman blushed, forgetting about his initial plan to press the issue. “I sure hope we all have a change of clothing with us!” he objected.

Logan seemed to be over his pouting enough to give his friend a hard time. “We do. But how many did you pack?” he pointed out.

Roman huffed. “I have one extra to spare,” he admitted.

“Are any of your robes self-cleaning?” Virgil asked.

The group shook their heads. “It would seem to me he is smart to bring some extra clothes just in case the journey got messy or required something less formal,” Virgil stated. Roman smiled a little. The High Mage had no reason to come to Roman’s defense like that even if he could feel his embarrassment. Other than being kind.

If Virgil was used to teaching classes, then Roman could easily imagine him being supportive of the students that struggled more and putting the more talented kids who made fun of them in their place.

Virgil gestured to the wall where their bags were set to the side. He’d really been prepping for their departure.

Roman silently knelt by his bag and dug in. “Ah, so Jay’s bottomless bags are still in fashion huh?” Virgil chuckled as he saw Roman’s entire arm disappear into the deceivingly small bag, Roman could feel a bit of relief coming off of him. Seeing something familiar after all the changes must be nice. Especially if it was related to his old friend.

“He made these?” Roman asked as his hand closed around the fabric of the outfit he thought Virgil might find suitable for his needs.

“Yeah, his Great Wizard project,” the purple favoring mage stated.

Roman pulled his arm out and gave Virgil the bundle of clothing trying not to think too much about how standard these bags were nowadays. If you ever did any traveling investing in one was a smart move. Every household had at least one. Roman’s family had owned one for every member of the household. They’d been around for a long, long time.

But not as long as Virgil or his friends apparently.

Virgil had known a time when your bag had to be as big as the items you were carrying.

“This looks great,” Virgil noted as he walked over to the vanity screen to get changed.

“What is the plan,” Logan asked.

“I did some calculations and I’m pretty sure I know where exactly we are at. I’d say in two to three days walking, depending on delays, we can get to my home so I can stock up properly. I gathered some herbs and stuff in here but there’s things I’ll need. Not to mention I should check in on Stardust and to see if no one tried to mess with my things.”

Roman exchanged looks with the others. They were going to see the living home of the Night Flame Mage?

“After that, we can figure out our next move. But first. I’m going to have to try and see if my friends are… Awake,” Virgil mused as he returned to them, putting his own clothes into the bag he’d claimed.

Roman could feel the wave of anxiety that hit Virgil as he mentioned the potential condition his friends were in.

He himself was hit with a whole different kind of nerves as he saw Virgil in the outfit he’d borrowed from him.

Roman had been telling himself that the flowy robes had exaggerated Virgil’s elegance but he seemed to be proven wrong. The outfit Roman had loaned him consisted of a simple black shirt and pants. On top of that was a wraparound leather body piece that held reddish brown tones and a pattern carved into the leather, tightened around the waist with a belt. A cowl provided additional warmth and if needed, anonymity.

And Virgil was pulling it off flawlessly.

“Good craftmanship,” he noted as he studied his outfit before taking a long stick from his backpack that looked like Virgil had found it laying outside. It seemed thick and sturdy and was about the length of Roman’s fore arm.

Virgil waved it and the light’s he’d made at the start of the night rushed down, past the trio and onto the staff. That would be handy while walking through the dark.

“Well, let’s get going,” he suggested before disappearing in a flash of purple and shadow.

“Wish he’d stop doing that,” Logan muttered as he grabbed his bag and headed down the stairs.

“Oh, if you could do that you’d be doing it all the time too,” Roman challenged.

Patton giggled as they made their way down the stairs.

“He’ll probably teach you if you ask,” their fighter pointed out.

Logan pursed his lips but didn’t comment.

They really should find a moment to have a private talk. Logan seemed verry off after that dream.

They stepped outside and Roman found his eyes drawn to the sky.

“Yeah… little side effect of having an avian guide. The call of the sky,” Virgil nodded in understanding.

“Now come on. Six hours till sunrise,” he insisted as he turned and started walking.

Roman hurried forward to catch up, his friends right behind him. They didn’t head for the main road where they’d been dropped off, which would lead to the capitol.

Instead they were headed south. There were a few villages that way, but nothing big until you hit the border. But that would make it potentially more appealing for a mage who didn’t want people knocking at his door every other day.

“Is it really okay for us to know where your home is? In the stories the great mages were always careful with the location of their homes,” Patton wondered curiously as they walked.

“That’s not entirely wrong. The random civilian wouldn’t know. But you guys are great mages and while charming has been a bit jumpy at the start, I don’t sense any ill intent.

And we don’t have time for unneeded mystique. Those idiots need help,” Virgil stated clenching his hand around something… The stone that had been under The Arch Mage’s bed.

“That’s a sending stone right?” Roman asked.

Virgil nodded. “It’s from a set of 3. Each of us had one. To check in on one another even if we weren’t around physically… It turns out I was the first… J and Remus both sent me a few messages. Then J went silent. Remus didn’t know what happened to him. If it was an illness there’d be warning signs. J would’ve sent a warning with his dying breath if needed.

And Remus… He took a while to go quiet,” Virgil said. “He was always the blabbermouth,” he joked. But Roman could feel his worry, his sorrow. It was enough to bring down his mood and even make his eyes water a bit.

He blinked away the tears.

“May I ask. You implied having, died, for a lack of a better term, in the past. Do you remember the first time?” Logan wondered.

Virgil nodded. “Sure. When I became one with the dark phoenix, I knew that whenever I died, I would be reborn as I was before dying.

But I could still die. Sort of. I was a mess about it. Cuz I didn’t know what it would be like. What to expect from being reborn. And not knowing was agonizing. My mentor at the time offered to help me through my first passing. We made a pact where he promised I would not be truly harmed under his watch to ease my nerves about actually dying for real on accident.

And then he gave me a poison that would put me to sleep and slow my vitals until I stopped breathing. And then I woke up again. My stomach was a bit upset, but other than that I was fine. And I wasn’t as worried about dying after that. Not that I go around dying on purpose,” Virgil clarified, laughing to himself. “Remus would though. He’d find new and creative ways to die spectacularly and dramatically every other day,” he stated.

“This Remus person seems… A unique character,” Logan observed.

“You don’t know the half of it… But you’ll see soon enough. His messages are the best clue we got to where he is now. I’ll need you guys’ help for that, four sets of ears hear more than just the one,” he mused turning the stone in his hand.

Suddenly Virgil stopped in his tracks. “Quiet,” he whispered.

They all froze and listened. A crack… Another. Something was heading their way…

“Well, look what we got here. That’s a fancy staff you got there. Why don’t you hand it over along with all your other valuables. It would be a shame if you got blood on those fancy robes,” A leery voice mused. Virgil righted himself while Patton got into a fighting stance, the fur on his arms standing on end and his claws ready to strike.

The wolf arms were a souvenir from his first attempt at transformation magic. Patton didn’t like them but they did a good job of intimidating douchebags when needed.

A cloaked figure stepped from the shadows into the light of Virgil’s magic torch, followed by a dozen more.

“Turn back now that you still can. I am not in the mood,” Virgil stated lowly. Roman was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one who felt a shift in the wind. The cloaks just chuckled.

“Well, at least those were some impressive last words,” the leader cloak chuckled as he drew his sword and rushed forward to plunge it into Virgil’s abdomen.

Roman let out a horrified cry. It didn’t matter that Virgil had told them numerous times that he’d survive worse than a sword to the stomach. But Roman had never seen a man be skewered before. It was a horrible sight. Add to that the fact that Roman could feel the surge of pain, though muted down a lot from what it was probably like for Virgil and he wished he’d brought along a weapon of some kind to fend off these miscreants with.

Virgil grunted in pain, but held up a hand to keep any of them from approaching to help.

“I warned you. Step back guys,” he coughed. Roman and his friends just barely jumped out of the way as Virgil burst into flames making the would be bandit jump back, screaming in pain. The sword fell to the ground as the purple flames briefly took the shape of an enormous bird, red eyes glowing in the middle of it, and then, with a mighty caw, the flames subsided and Virgil stood there as though he was never stabbed to begin with.

“I’m out!” One of the cloaks screamed as he sprinted back into the darkness of the forest.

A few others followed with very undignified screams.

The leader was still on the ground howling in pain. Roman supposed that resurrection flames would be pretty hot.

“I said to step away, idiot,” Virgil huffed, tracing a pattern and then moments later the wailing stopped.

“Now leave, before I decide to turn you into mayflowers,” he warned. The leader scrambled to his feet and bolted, followed by the rest of his crew.

“Sorry for that. I was hoping they’d be a bit cautious after my warning. Didn’t mean to step onto your territory Patton,” Virgil offered casually, though Roman had trouble believing it was as trivial as he made it seem. Still, Virgil’s emotions only showed vague annoyance and slight discomfort.

“Oh that’s alright… That… That was something. Are you alright?” Patton asked.

“Just a bit of a stomach ache,” Virgil assured him.

“Let’s keep going,” he insisted.

“Follow up to my earlier question. How many deaths did it take before you treated them as… An inconvenience?” Logan asked.

“Hmmm… Not sure…” Virgil admitted.

“How did your attacker get you in that box if rebirth is like that? I didn’t even see any ashes…” Patton pointed out.

“I was ready for it so I could consciously trigger my rebirth. If I was taken by surprise last time… Let’s say my response to being stabbed would be a lot more normal. The ashes would need a moment to charge so to speak. Which would be enough time for my attacker to gather them into a box and keep me from forming,” Virgil explained.

“I’m still not over how… Calm you are about missing fifty years,” Roman admitted.

“Well… Fifty years for me is different than it is for you. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a long time and I know a lot of the people I knew who weren’t high mages like me are ancient by now.

And the fact that so many of the mages I knew back then seem to have gone missing or died of that illness you mentioned is disturbing…

But missing time… It’s the first time it’s been so long, but not the first time I woke up and the dates didn’t match,” Virgil explained, hopping over a creek and waiting for the rest of them to cross safely too.

“How so?” Patton asked curiously once he made it across the way.

“Well, for situations like the backstabbing I gave Remus and Jay amulets they could use to store my ashes in while they got out of whatever crappy situation we found ourselves in before setting me free somewhere safe,” Virgil recalled as they all reached the other side and started on an incline in terrain.

“This one time, Remus knew I’d yell at him so he figured he’d get to an inn, have a good meal brought to the room and put me in better spirits when coming back out.

But when he went to retrieve the amulet from his pocket, I was gone. Turns out some pickpocket had stolen me while Remus was making his way to the inn.”

They had to duck under some low hanging branches.

“I wasn’t there for it of course. But he searched for days before asking Janus for help and it was five years before they gathered the courage to tell the council that I had not been ghosting them all this time but that I had gone missing.”

They crossed a lovely meadow and noted the sky was getting a bit brighter.

“In the meantime the amulet was sold and gifted and regifted and lost and found a hundred times before landing on a farm as an anniversary present.

The family knew someone who studied magical theory, thought they weren’t a wizard and they could tell them that the amulet held something powerful and that it could likely be summoned in a time of need.

And what do you know, after sitting on the fireplace mantle for four years the young son grabs my amulet and rushes outside. Accidently setting a beast taming spell on me as he demands I protect them from the raiders that were busy, you know, raiding the farm.

I came out and was compelled to take my phoenix form and do as he asked.

Not that I wouldn’t have helped out regardless, but he’d actually set a spell on me.

Once my compulsion was sated I turned back into a man and the poor kid was on his knees begging me not to be mad.”

Virgil chuckled as he kept Roman from falling down the steep decline they were navigating.

“I reassured the family, convinced the kid to come along and arrived at the council just in time to interrupt… Ah… Discussions on how they should go about finding me.

I got the kid in school and ripped Janus and Remus a new one,” he finished.

“So you were just… A nicknack for five years?” Roman surmised.

“Apparently I just spent fifty as a paperweight for all I can tell,” Virgil shrugged. “Live long enough and you learn to just roll with the punches,” he stated.

“I can feel the urge to turn increasing with the light coming back,” he mused.

Then he handed Logan a scroll and the staff. “I mapped out roughly how we should go. If I correct course in bird form, please trust that I have a reason okay?” he asked urgently.

Logan nodded. “I promise,” he stated.

Virgil let out a breath. “Good… Well, see you when the sun’s down,” he bid before taking a few steps back and then glowing with a purple fire, shrinking down until the trio was looking at Storm.

“So… You can understand us perfectly in that form, right?” Roman asked to be sure.

Virgil cawed and nodded his head before spreading his wings, Roman noticed that his feathers were tipped red on the underside, jumping up and taking to the sky. Circling above them.

“Hm… I suppose he’s looking out for unexpected obstacles… Let’s go,” Logan stated as he checked the map before putting it away and heading onward.

“I’m surprised you aren’t trying to read the journals right now,” Roman mused.

“The terrain will become less unstable soon enough. He is leading us through this forest to reach an old road. There, I’ll be able to focus without you having to worry about me missing a step,” Logan stated, marching onward. Roman looked up, spotting Virgil flying over through the canopy again.

“Fair enough,” he mused.

“We should report back to the council first.” Logan stated retrieving a sending stone of his own and handing it to Roman. “I can do a factual report. But considering we should keep our discoveries on a need to know until we know more, I think you should do the smooth talking,” he insisted before Roman could argue.

The herbalist sighed and took the stone.

“Good morning Great Council. We are just making a quick report. We have found evidence that the Arch Mage was interrupted in his studies and suddenly left the premises. We have found some encoded journals and a good lead on where we can find the key to decipher this mystery. We will keep you updated as we travel along,” he reported.

“Lord Roman!” a familial high pitched, easily excited voice exclaimed. “Hi, um Terence here, I was tasked with attending the sending stone in case the council missed your call. I’ll report back to them as soon as possible!” he promised. Terence was a very nice wizards apprentice and had high hopes of becoming a wizard himself one day. He was very passionate about all things magical. And Roman could only imagine his reaction when meeting Virgil in either of his forms.

Roman was relieved it was the loyal, dutiful Terence who’d answered and not one of the more… grumpy council members.

“Excellent work,” Logan nodded as he accepted the stone back.

“So… Those dreams,” Patton mused softly.

“What about them?” Logan huffed.

“I mean… Mine was pretty… Intense, but in a good way,” Roman offered.

“Yeah. Mine too,” Patton offered.

The pair waited patiently for their friend to say something himself.

“I… Mine was… Good too. But after Virgil’s scolding… I felt… Accepted and welcomed and encouraged. But I didn’t feel like I deserved any of it,” Logan admitted.

“Because of the curiosity thing?” Roman recalled. “I mean, I agree, your guide probably knows about that. But if they do then they also know you are rethinking that opinion,” he offered.

“That was part of it, and thank you. But still. I’m not like you two. When we became Mages you two took to natural casting so easily… But Virgil is right. I want my books as a lifeline. I’m not sure why. But it nearly kept me from completing the ritual and become a great mage along with you two.

Much of what Virgil has told us is… Troubling me. But I might have to accept his tutelage if I am to overcome this…” Logan laid a hand to his chest as he struggled to find the right word, but then they heard a caw and next thing Roman knew, the massive phoenix landed on his shoulder.

“Getting comfortable I see,” he mused.

Virgil shook his head and made a sound that gave Roman the idea that he was tired.

“He’s come down for a nap I think. So we best be on our guard while we’re without our eyes in the sky,” he surmised. Virgil made a low sound in the back of his throat before settling in and within moments Roman could feel he was asleep. “That is actually impressive,” he mused.

“Let us continue then,” Logan decided as he consulted the map again and led them further along their path.

“I think Virgil would be a great teacher. I mean he isn’t pushing the dark magic thing as much as any of us would probably do if we were raised in the age before the Arch Mage. And he hasn’t mentioned my claws even once,” Patton mused.

“I suppose he has indeed learned to: roll with the punches,” Logan allowed.

They walked in silence for a while until suddenly Patton froze.

“Guys… I… I’m pretty sure something is coming. Get low,” he insisted. Roman looked at his friend and suddenly realized that his position sort of made Roman think of a rabbit, ready to flee.

Not only that but there was a faint blue glow about him.

Deciding to play it safe Roman gently lowered himself in order not to jostle Virgil too much, Logan followed suit.

Indeed moments later Roman could hear a growl in the bushes.

Patton’s entire body snapped in the direction of the growls and jumped forward turning himself halfway to land a firm kick to the still hidden creature, causing it to let out a pained whine and sending Patton flying back. He used the momentum of his now flipped trajectory to turn midair, do a handstand and then land back in a crouched position.

“Bad dog,” he huffed.

Roman really wished that this would be the end of it. That whatever that was had been alone and scared off by Patton’s first attack.

But around them more growls sounded and one by one a small pack of five earth wolves approached them. Frick. They were eyeing Virgil like he was dinner, and to them he probably was.

Virgil, by the way, was finally woken up by the commotion and made a displeased sound before startling to attention when he realized what was going on.

He turned his head to Patton, and any anxiety Roman felt from him when he first realized he was on the menu disappeared.

“Virgil trusts you Patton!” Roman called, hoping it would help.

“Some more specific advice would be preferred right now,” Logan pointed out nervously.

Virgil hopped off of Roman’s shoulder and then made a few more small jumps. What…

“You want him to hop?” Roman asked.

Virgil’s responding caw seemed like a confirmation. “He wants you to hop!” Roman translated a bit louder so Patton could hear him over the growls of the circling wolves.

“Hop… Rabbit… Forest… Hunt… I think… Yes I’ll try that,” Patton nodded. He took a deep breath and knelt down the blue glow intensifying around him and then Patton jumped. And he kept jumping, faster and farther than humans typically did. Bouncing himself against tree trunks and the ground in a nonsensical pattern, leaving the wolves confused and uncertain. Then Patton made impact on the ground next to one of the beasts and jumped away before the wolf could even realize he had a shot at taking a bite out of him. Where Patton left an imprint, vines shot up and wrapped around the creature.

Not tight enough to harm it, but it would keep him from moving.

Patton repeated the trick a few more times and then the entire pack was wrapped up, even the handful that had started to retreat.

Patton landed back with the rest of the group breathing heavily. “How was that?” he wondered, still catching his breath. “Personally I think I did pretty Vine.”

He looked up expectantly and probably more out of relief than anything Roman let out a laugh.

“Alright puns aside, we should go. I don’t know how long those will last,” Patton admitted.

Roman let Virgil settle back onto his shoulder and rose to his feet. “Let’s get going then.”

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #the dark phoenix au

[canon-transgender-virgil]

SANDERS SIDES SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

Hey yeah I'm overanalyzing their rooms now that we cANONICALLY KNOW WHAT EACH OF THEIR ROOMS LOOKS LIKE????? (if i miss anything while combing through these picture lmk!)

First up, Patton's room!

Lots of plushies! Lovely touch, not that surprised cuz it's, you know, Patton.

Cat statue! (lamp? I can't tell jdjsjsj)

And a cat poster right above his head!

I can't tell what picture that is on his desk :(

But I can tell that his glasses are on there, as well as a plate of two cookies (love that callback) and... A bible. Specifically the Bible Patton swore his oath on in SvS. Interesting touch...

And lastly, the card Virgil gave him during 12DOC (which I find interesting because, to me at least, this symbolizes that Patton still views Virgil as or believes Virgil to still be his best friend which is, uh... Not quite the case right now).

Also notably, Patton doesn't wear his onesie to sleep here?

Alright, next up is Roman!

Right off the bat, THAT IS A FACE MASK PEOPLE, ROMAN CANONICALLY HAS A SKINCARE ROUTINE ‼️

Next, his katana right next to his bed which I imagine he uses fairly often because if you'll look in the bottom left hand corner, you can see Remus stealing one of Roman's crocheted (knitted?) stars off of his desk

After that is his poster, which says Adventure Is Out There (maybe an Up poster? I can't find the exact one but knowing Roman it's probably that)

And speaking of Disney, I just noticed that he's sleeping in his Beauty and the Beast onesie oh my gosh

I love the amount of Roman toys he has in his room idjshshs

I can't tell what that bottle is right behind the Roman Youtooz, if anyone can, can you let me know?

[EDIT FOR ABOVE: People have told me that the bottle is pillow spray which, yeah, makes sense for Roman jdjdjsjs]

And finally, the bulletin board! Two pictures of himself, one of Leslie Odom Jr., and 3 Post-Its that read (from top to bottom): "TAKE DANCE CLASSES AGAIN", "YOU GOT THIS PAL", and "WWLOJD?" (which I realized far too late means "What Would Leslie Odom Jr. Do?" idjdjsjs)

Alright, Virgil's room now!!

It is. So dark. I had to turn my phone's brightness up to max to even be able to see half of it ksjsjsjsj

First off, Virgil wears a Green Day shirt and Thomas's black jacket to sleep! (If you don't remember, this is the same jacket Thomas wore during parts 1 and 2 of Accepting Anxiety and in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts!)

If you'll look right behind Virgil, there's a laptop open to... A YouTube lyric video. Dude listens to emo music without headphones to go to sleep, oh my God /pos

[EDIT ABOVE: According to Thomas, he's watching a Jack the Ripper conspiracy video, not a lyric video! Still, incredibly fitting for Virgil kdjdjsjs]

Now to the darker parts of the room:

He has a whiteboard that says "[Number (it's actually a pound sign but i don't want this to end up as a hashtag jdjsjsj)] of days since last total disaster", with 5 being the number of days. Does this mean that this video takes place five days after WTIT, or is it just an insignificant number?

I literally can't tell what all is on Virgil's desk so if anyone does please let me know, but what I can tell is that he's got an expo marker (for the whiteboard) and (presumably) melatonin, which (alongside the tossing and turning) I imagine confirms that Virgil has trouble sleeping

[EDIT FOR ABOVE: He also has a spider plush, a book of Grimm's Fairytale, fake candles(?) and Patton's card pinned underneath it! That's fascinating to me and I've taken it to mean that Virgil doesn't want to complete throw away his friendship with Patton but he's nowhere near "buddy buddy" with him anymore]

And finally, Logan!

Look at his blue ass bed and matching pjs and sleep mask I freaking love him

He's got a periodic table poster over his bed!!!

Now let's check out his desk

He has all five plushies with him!!! Everyone else just had theirs but he has all five! (Angst writers come get your food pspspsps)

They're all sitting on a notebook (presumably the one Logan uses to write down when someone says something stupid?) which is on top of the fanfic Roman gave him for Christmas which i freaking love 😭

His solved Rubix cube is sitting on what looks to be a crossword of the day calendar sort of thing?

EMPTY CROFTERS JAR BEHIND EVERYTHING HE CANONICALLY EATS IT IN HIS ROOM

Oh my God that is the 10th Doctor Funko Pop right by the plushies

And his flashcards are under his glasses!

[EDIT FOR ABOVE: The notebook above the script is a Journal 3 notebook from Gravity Falls and he also has a TARDIS behind the plushies and a smart lamp! (Hence the clapping)]

Again, if i missed something someone let me know jdjdhs

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts patton #tss spoilers #ts spoilers

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Primroses and Periwinkles

----

It was a normal day when it first started happening.

Roman thought he might’ve been getting sick. It was winter, and though the sides weren’t as easy to infect with diseases like the flu he was pretty sure it was still possible - he remembered Patton being sick a few times, at least.

And then, one day, when he and Virgil had been playfully bickering on the couch - another debate about which Disney movies were better that had him laughing and blushing - the petals started to appear.

----

| Ao3 |

----

Warnings:

TWs for this!!!

Hanahaki disease (blood, coughing up flowers, non graphic descriptions for the most part)

Illness, a character believing they're going to die.

A small amout of mentioned food stuff.

This does have a happy ending! I promise!

Pairings: Prinxiety

Word Count: 2767

Notes:

Five years ago when I started writing fanfiction, I told myself I'd never write a hanahaki fic. Yet here we are.

This is my gift for @candied-peach for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange tumblr! I really hope you enjoy <3

----

It was a normal day when it first started happening.

Roman thought he might’ve been getting sick. It was winter, and though the sides weren’t as easy to infect with diseases like the flu he was pretty sure it was still possible - he remembered Patton being sick a few times, at least. 

His throat was sore, and he kept coughing - he must be getting a cold, it’ll be over in a week, he thought as he got on with his duties in the imagination regardless.

For the next few weeks it didn’t get much worse, but it certainly didn’t get better either. Roman gathered that it couldn’t be a cold - they never lasted this long, and besides he had none of the other symptoms. In the end he’d gone to Logan, but he hadn’t been able to figure it out either.

The only other thing he had noticed - that he most definitely hadn’t told Logan - was that it only seemed to get worse around Virgil.

Which was weird, because that’s not how sicknesses were supposed to work, but whenever Virgil said some snarky comment that made Roman laugh he’d feel like something was pressed against his lungs and he’d end up in a coughing fit. Every time Virgil stuck his tongue between his lips while concentrating in a way that made Roman want to lean over and kiss him, every time he made that cute pouty face whenever someone interrupted whatever he was doing - It all made Roman dizzy, and so many times he’d have to run off so that Virgil wouldn’t be concerned when Roman erupted into chest wracking coughs. 

And then, one day, when he and Virgil had been playfully bickering on the couch - another debate about which Disney movies were better that had him laughing and blushing - the petals started to appear. 

He’d got back to his room that night just to stand over the sink coughing - afraid he might throw up with the force of it - only to be left with a sink full of soft, purple petals. They looked like they might’ve come from periwinkle flowers, but they were too scrunched and ruined by his coughing to tell for sure.

Roman stared at the sink full of flower petals for a long time. He felt a tear drip down his cheek as he realised abruptly what this meant. 

—

It only got worse from there.

When he tried to avoid Virgil it felt like the flowers were choking him, when he tried to hang out with Virgil more the fear of him finding out about the petals was overwhelming enough that Virgil started to notice. It threw him into such a panic that before long he was coughing up whole flowers, whole bunches of purple primroses and periwinkles he spat into the small bin in his bedroom - the purple petals soaked with his own blood as the flowers had started to take root in his lungs. He knew he didn’t have much time left. 

—

“Hanahaki?” Logan asked as Roman sat on a stool in his bedroom, coughing pathetically every few moments, sometimes spitting a loose petal or two into a plastic bag Logan had handed him a few moments in. 

“Yeah I-” Roman coughed, “It’s a fictional disease-”

“I know what it is,” Logan chided gently, “The disease that makes you cough up flowers when you’re in love with someone.”

“Unrequited,” Roman added, Logan rubbed his back in a way that was barely comforting as he coughed his way through flower buds and petals - he was close to tears when Logan spoke again.

“Unrequited?”

“It only - it only happens when the person you love doesn’t-” The bag was almost full already, “-doesn’t love you back.”

“So you believe that Virgil does not return your affection?” Logan asked, Roman thought he might vomit, or cry, or probably both. 

“I- I never mentioned Virgil-” He choked out past the flower petals laying heavy on his tongue, "Who said anything about Virgil?"

“Purple flowers,” Logan says, deadpan, “And your crush on him is and always has been less than subtle to everyone besides Virgil.”

“Oh,” Roman choked.

“However, Virgil’s obliviousness towards your affections does not mean the feelings are unrequited, nor do the flowers, they just mean that you believe they are.”

“Then- then what do I do?” Roman asked, the first tear escaping his eyes as he coughed up yet more flowers, the broken stems tearing at the back of his throat. In his mind, he already knew the answer.

Logan sighed, “You will not like the solution.”

“...I have to talk to him, don’t I?” Roman asked sadly.

“Unfortunately so.”

Roman hated this so much. Why did he have to be the fantasy one here? Why couldn't it have been Janus with his very clear crush on Logan, or Patton with his slightly strange level of interest in his brother. He sighed.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him later,” Roman said after a long while of being stared at by Logan. 

“Talk to him soon, Roman, or this will continue to get worse.”

—-

Roman really should have listened to Logan. 

In actuality, he felt that he should have listened to Logan quite a lot, but this time he really regretted not taking his advice, because he had put off talking to Virgil and his situation had certainly gotten worse. 

By now, just a week later, Roman found himself without much choice but to hole up in his room and hope no-one came looking for him. 

Nothing seemed to help, thinking about Virgil made it worse, not thinking about Virgil also seemed to make it worse. There was no relief from the onslaught of flowers in his lungs - his room was practically covered in the petals now, he didn’t have the energy to clean them up anymore.

It was pathetic, Roman thought as he laid on his bed, barely able to force down water - let alone food. He could barely move, he was so tired, his lungs perpetually hurt - he hadn’t been able to move without spikes of pain consuming his chest in weeks and weeks. Even if he wanted to go and find Virgil now - he needed to tell him, needed to make this pain stop - he couldn’t. He could hardly move from his bed with the pain and the exhaustion quickly catching up to him. 

He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

—-

“Has anyone seen Roman?” Virgil asked a day later at dinner, looking around at the other two sides present. Patton shrugged when Virgil’s eyes fell on him.

“I haven’t seen him for a few days, kiddo, I’d assumed he was off on one of his adventures again…”

“Other than him running away from me whenever I see him I haven’t seen him for weeks…” Virgil said, frowning, “I haven’t seen him either - I’m worried- well, obviously, but….”

“He’s not usually gone on adventures for this long,” Logan points out, “Perhaps we should check on him.”

“You think he might just be in his room?” Patton asked, tilting his head, “Avoiding us?”

Logan sighed, “It would be unwise to rule it out as a possibility, though if he is hiding in his room, it may be best that Virgil is the one to confront him.”

“Wait what?” Virgil asked, barely managing to not bolt up from his chair in surprise, “Why me?”

“Not only are you best equipped of all of us to handle a situation in which Roman is panicking or scared-” Logan points out, “But the fact that he’s been avoiding you specifically means that if he should be having an issue, it may be something to do with you.”

“And… how exactly would that help, if Virgil went?” Patton asked doubtfully, “Might it not make things worse?”

“I strongly believe that Virgil going would be best for Roman,” Logan reiterated firmly. Something about his tone had the other two pausing. 

Patton was first to break the tense silence, “Do you know something we don’t, kiddo?”

“If I knew anything, it would not be my place to share,” Logan said, frowning at the both of them. After a long pause when it seemed neither of them would protest further, Logan turned to Virgil with a softer expression, “I know that the way Roman has been acting towards you recently may be considered rude, however, I would like to request you look past that until you find out why.”

Virgil just stares at him for a long moment and Logan crossed his fingers that Virgil would just take that go. Thankfully, Virgil simply took a deep breath and stood up.

“Okay, fine, if you think this is so important,” He said, turning to leave the room. Patton watched him go in confusion, before looking at Logan with an eyebrow raised, clearly asking what on earth that was about.

“You’ll find out in due time,” Logan sighed, going back to dinner. If this worked out, Roman would be in for a lecture about listening to him in future, considering this time it had almost cost them dearly. If it didn’t… well, Logan didn’t know what he’d do, let alone the others. 

—-

Virgil didn’t understand. Since when has Logan been so cryptic about things? Usually he would explain as thoroughly as possible, the difference set Virgil’s teeth on edge. Unfortunately, Logan’s weird behaviour is what led Virgil to believe that something more important really was actually going on here, so he had to go along with it. 

Knocking on Roman’s door gave no results, though he could hear something from inside, he wasn’t sure what it was, unable to make out the sound properly. 

“Roman?” He called, knocking again, rewarded with a pained groan, “Roman? It’s me, Virgil, um, I know you’ve been avoiding me and you probably don’t want to see me but Logan was being weird and told me to check on you-”

Nothing, and then choking coughs, mixed with a sob. What the hell?

“Roman if you don’t say anything I’m gonna come in, okay?” Virgil called, “I’m worried about you-”

Nothing but the same, so Virgil pressed down on the handle and opened the door. 

Oh. he thought, weakly. 

Roman laid on his bed, still in costume though said costume was stained down the front with blood and petals that dripped from his chin, shrivelled petals - petals in small puddles of blood - petals, petals, so many petals, and leaves, some whole flowers with thick stems. For a long moment Virgil couldn’t say anything.

Roman looked awful, the fire in his eyes dulled as he looked up at Virgil pitifully, his tan skin was paler, there were bags under his eyes that rivalled Virgil’s own, his usually pristine hair was plastered to his face with sweat, tears were running down his face. Roman looked awful.

“Oh my god…” Virgil said softly, taking a step forward, “What the hell happened to you?”

“You weren’t-” Roman coughed, cutting himself off with chest-heaving coughs that had him spitting out more bloodsoaked flowers, it made it impossible to see what colour they really were, “You weren’t supposed to- to see this.”

“Why the fuck not?” Virgil asked, shutting the door behind him and practically running over, kneeling down beside Roman’s bed - reaching out, before hesitating, “You- you’re suffering princey, why the hell shouldn’t I know? I want to help!”

Roman whined, “Because- because you- you don’t-” He was cut off by yet more painful coughing, yet more flowers, Virgil felt tears prick in his eyes at the mere sight of Roman in so much pain, Roman who had gone out of his way so often to accommodate for Virgil after he’d joined the group, Roman who always tried to hard, Roman who was sweet and kind and sensitive no matter what fronts he tried to put up.. Virgil couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain. 

“I don't.. what? Princey?” Virgil said, still a little panicked. He gently cupped Roman’s cheek with his hand and Roman leant into it immediately, closing his eyes but still looking hurt and upset. Virgil tried to wipe away some of the blood, but Roman just coughed weakly and more blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth, “Are- are you dying?” he didn’t want to ask. 

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Roman mumbled, before turning and spitting more petals onto the ever growing pile nearby, Virgil thought some of them might be purple, but he didn’t know what that meant.

“Can I do anything?” Virgil asked, trying to blink away his own tears - If Roman left… Virgil had no idea what he’d do, “I don’t want you to go.”

“I- I don’t know- Virge,” Roman huffed, wiping his mouth with his already bloodsoaked sleeve, “I can’t force you.”

“Force me… what? To help you? Because you don’t have to force me to do shit,” Virgil says, “I like you, dumbass, that’s what you do when you like people.”

Roman stared at him for a long, sad moment, tears once again dripping down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Virgil asked, eyes wide and eyebrows raised - here Roman was, lying in a pool of his own blood and flower petals, looking like he was practically on the verge of death and he was apologising?

“I love you,” Roman said, abruptly, sending Virgil rearing back, eyes somehow wider and face growing hot to the tips of his ears, “I- I’m sorry - I know you don’t love me and- and I can’t make you- and it’s unfair for you to- to see - this - when you can’t do anything - and it’s just- well - it’s my own fault, really, you don’t need to feel guilty…”

Virgil stood up, and with the look in his eyes Virgil knew that Roman expected with every fibre of his being for Virgil to turn around and leave him there. Instead he sat down on the bed and gently coaxed Roman to sit up through winces and the occasional coughs. He really didn't think Virgil loved him back? After everything - hell, Virgil thought he'd been pretty obvious about his crush on the Prince.

“Roman- I-” Virgil started, still blushing, before just shaking his head, “fuck, if you weren’t covered in blood right now I’d kiss you.”

“You don’t - you don’t have to pretend,” Roman said, gently pushing his hands away as he coughed up what - looking back - must have been the last of the flowers, Virgil put his hands back just as quickly, making Roman look up at him with wide eyes - almost hopeful.

“I’m not pretending, dumbass - of course I love you, how the hell could I not? You’re you! Why didn’t you just- say so?” he squished Roman’s cheeks and briefly noted that colour seemed to slowly be returning to them, Roman coughed, but this time no petals came out. 

“I was… scared,” Roman said, ducking his head as far as Virgil’s hands would allow, “That you wouldn’t love me back - that you would but it wouldn’t fix all of this - I guess I was just-”

“Anxious?” Virgil chuckled, making Roman blush and nod, “...me too.”

Roman stayed silent, though a weak smile was playing on his lips now and he leant into Virgil’s hands on his face. It was obvious he was weak, Virgil had no idea how close he’d cut it to saving Roman, but it was clear he was already starting to do much better. Virgil didn’t like to believe in fairytales, but love really did seem to be quite powerful.

He’d have to thank Logan later. 

But for now…

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up,” Virgil said, gently helping Roman up, sure it was horribly uncomfortable to be covered in your own blood, “...when did you last eat?”

“I don’t… Know…” Roman said, looking embarrassed. 

“Okay - how about you get changed and have a shower, I’ll grab you dinner and we can meet back in my room and um- we can just…”

“Cuddle?” 

“Yeah, that.”

“I’d love to,” Roman said with a soft smile, “And I’ll take that kiss later, too.”

“Don’t push your luck,” Virgil teased, though he still kissed Roman’s forehead as he pulled away.

—

“How did it go?” Logan asked when Virgil arrived back downstairs. Virgil sighed.

“Well, thanks to you,” Virgil said, mostly begrudgingly as he heated up Roman’s portion of their dinner, “He’s okay now, we’re uh-” He blushed, “Gonna cuddle, once I get him to eat something.”

“Gross,” Logan said, though he was smiling fondly as he waved Virgil off. 

No-one saw either of them until dinner the next day. 

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #rowan writes #sandersidesgiftexchange

[multi-fandomedfreak]

Fic idea: How might the Sides help with writer's block?

Authors note: I wrote Janus and Remus for this one!! Which is why this took a tad longer than usual lol

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️: Remus making dirty comments

👑 Roman 👑

-Oooh writers block with Roman is ALMOST non existent

-He’s creativity after all so he would come up with the most extravagant things

-Would definitely use this as an opportunity to spend time alone with you in the Mindscape place and create whatever came to mind to help inspire you

-DAYDREAM MODE ACTIVATED

-He’ll do EVERYTHING to help you beat writers block, which also gives him an excuse to be as dramatic as possible

-Aww I also feel like the moment he has an idea he doesn’t even say anything he just rushes to the nearest writing utensil and writes it down before he forgets

-Just know asking for Romans help with writers block will have you both exhausted but happy

-exhausted mainly because of all the running around and happy that you both got to do all that together

-You definitely got an idea about what to write

💙 Logan 💙

-ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT WHEN YOU ASK HIM FOR HELP WITH WRITERS BLOCK

-Obviously calm and collected on the outside but on the inside he is so darn happy

-It just makes him feel very important and will take it very seriously

-He’ll research various topics with you, look at art/pictures, take notes of things, etc.

-Expect so. much. info dumping.

-But hey it really does help with drumming up some good ideas

-By the end of it, you’ll have like more than 5 pages worth of notes to help you with your writers block

-He’ll somehow even throw out MORE ideas as he helps you write whatever it is that you’re writing

-Literally a human grammarly so he’s always pointing out where you can improve your grammar

-Likes to compliment certain parts of your work in order to keep you motivated tho

-If you drink coffee, your both probably buzzing off of the amount of caffeine you guys drank during the reasearch

🍪 Patton 🍪

-At first he’ll ask, “what’s writers block?”

-Once you explain it tho, he’ll try drumming up any ideas on how to help

-I feel like his idea of getting you inspired will be stuff like, talking a walk to maybe help clear your head or baking/ cooking something for you

-Probably takes you to his room hoping that all the nostalgic stuff he has in it will help

-He’s trying his best lol

-He’ll probably get distracted with the things in his room and has to be constantly reminded of the task at hand

-Somehow that helps?? Like seeing him organically do stuff and not trying to help you get inspired, helps with the writers block

-With Patton it just really depends if he does or says something that somehow triggers inspiration

-Gives you cookies and milk as you work once you get past writers block

💜 Virgil 💜

-Once you ask him, you both probably sit on his bed trying to think of something

-Till Virgil suggests you listen to some music that will help you

-He puts on ALL his favorite albums

-Puts on Paramore, MCR, Evanescence, and probably the soundtrack of his favorite musicals/movies

-Probably suggests watching some movies to hopefully get inspired

-Tries not to panic when it doesn’t seem to work

-But it does work since you both end up talking in depth about the movies and songs

-It ends up being a veryyyyy long conversation since he’s very passionate about his interests

-And you love listening to him

-Once you sit down and get to work on the thing you wanna write, he’s there sitting with you to help bounce ideas off one another

-Kinda like Logan, will be vibrating from the amount of coffee he’s drank

-Once you asked him to help with writers block, he helped you through the whole day

-And I mean, the whole day

-You’re just both very relieved you finally got through writers block

🐍 Janus 🐍

-“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.”

-Ok Loki nobody asked for ur opinion

-Will reluctantly help (he would love to help he’s just being janus. he’s actually jumping with joy on the inside that you asked him for help)

-He’ll probably try telling you stories that are completely made up to hopefully get ur creative juices flowing

-Yes he goes through the effort to make up stories to tell you

-Probably will take you to the library to help research various topics

-Why not just look it up? Bc he likes the quiet atmosphere

-Not at all bc he wants to put actual effort into helping you

-He’s gonna be a diva about it tho

-Surprisingly is very keen on helping you get motivated and when you think about giving up, he simply won’t allow it

-He gets you up and running

-Probably promises to get you something as a reward for getting through writers block

-One of the few times he’s not actually lying

-Once you do come up with an idea, he’ll probably make little sassy remarks about your work

-Know he doesn’t actually mean it, he just says it on instinct

-Oh and your reward? He can’t bring himself to give it to you in person so he just leaves it somewhere he knows you’ll find it

💚 Remus 💚

-Oh gosh, you almost regret asking him for help with writers block

-Bc he will go into gremlin mode and just do the most out of pocket things ever

-“To help your creative - and other- juices flow!!” he says

-Immediately gets hit upside the head for that little comment

-But, anyways, if you need help writing some messed up stuff or something; he’s the best guy for the job

-Just imagine him being as extra as Roman but much more…disturbing

-He won’t stop making dirty jokes/comments through the whole thing

-But he surprisingly does a good job at helping you out with writers block

-Of course you both will most likely get sidetracked bc Remus is being Remus

-Just know you you’ll be both disturbed but entertained when it comes to asking Remus for help

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thomas sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides x reader #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides headcanon #roman x reader #logan x reader #Patton x reader #Virgil x reader #janus x reader #remus x reader

[delimeful]

nothing in this world (i wouldn’t do) (5)

warnings: mentions of cannibalism, mild blood and injury, arguing & dehumanization, captivity, poison, references to unethical science practices

-

In the end, Virgil left without saying goodbye.

Once all the secrets between them had been thoroughly overturned and dragged into the light by Patton’s visit, his two housemates started their training back up in earnest. Apparently, Virgil’s presence had unintentionally stalled them.

He did his best to help where he could, but no matter how many self-defense moves or surprise attacks he drilled into them, he couldn’t help but feel that there were more drawbacks than benefits to his presence.

After all, he was no trained slayer, regardless of rumor. His fighting technique mostly consisted of ‘take more chunks out of the other guy than he does of you,’ which wasn’t exactly viable for anyone without a demon’s regenerative abilities.

Even more pressingly, the kids were fond of him, always arguing about his status as a monster, and he was worried that it would get them hurt. Surely, there were other demons out there who would try to act harmless or friendly in order to lower an opponent’s defenses.

Virgil was pretty sure he was a bizarre outlier, a statistical anomaly that had gotten knocked in the head during the transformation or something. He’d never met another demon that didn’t want to kill people. He wouldn’t bet on another one even existing.

He knew the two of them had a history of their own when it came to demons, and neither were idiots. But neither were they cruel, and that soft-hearted nature was what concerned him.

Virgil didn’t want to be the reason they tried to extend a helping hand, only to get it bitten off.

He couldn’t bring himself to attack them wholeheartedly, to try and scare any missing portion of survival instincts back into them, because he was selfish.

(He doubted it would work, anyhow. The two of them had gotten concerningly good at calling his bluffs.)

He couldn’t bring himself to give them a proper goodbye, because he was a coward.

(He’d said a farewell to Thomas, that day he’d sent him down the mountain, hugged him tight until he’d smacked his shoulder and complained about worrywart brothers crushing the life out of him.

He’d said goodbye, and lost him in all the ways that mattered.)

Instead, he helped run them through one last day of training, exhausting every muscle, and then waited until the two of them were dead asleep before slipping out a window into the night.

Harley’s preternatural sense of smell was good enough that just dipping himself in a body of water wasn’t going to shake them, so instead Virgil relied on his own unnatural ability, and scaled a sheer cliff face to travel by treetop for a bit. It didn’t matter if they knew which direction he headed so long as they weren’t physically capable of following.

They had their own lives, their own goals to pursue. This was for the best.

And if Virgil found that his solitary travels suddenly felt much lonelier?

Well. It wasn’t like there was anyone around to notice.

—

It hadn’t even been a full month before trouble found Virgil again.

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that he was sent into trouble. After all, the circumstances of his current situation seemed far too precise to be a coincidence.

He hadn’t thought anything of it when a teen had approached him timidly on one of the roads skirting a sizable town. It had happened time and time again before, though usually those approaching didn’t carry so much nervous tension. Most people were only a little wary of what they assumed was a demon slayer dedicated to protecting them.

That should have been his first sign, in hindsight, but he’d been too busy being morose about missing his own temporary wards to take note.

Maybe he should have worried about how their friendship would impact him a little, too. He doubted he’d ever be able to look at a younger slayer without seeing them again.

The stranger had pleaded for help, watching him with a curious spark in their gaze, and gave him directions to a nearby grove, one that multiple people had apparently disappeared in, including their older brother.

Virgil had fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. He hadn’t thought to ask around for other victims, or even notice that nobody else on the path seemed familiar enough with the rumor to recognize him.

He hadn’t had the faintest inkling it was a trap until the snare had already cinched around his neck.

Metaphorically. Literally, it was more of a cage.

He hadn’t thought much of the trees ringing the clearing, not when he’d noticed more pressing details, like a collapsed form in the middle of it. He’d felt his heart kick up a few notches at the sight.

(He really hadn’t wanted to have to bring a body back to a little brother.)

There had been a worrisome pressure inside his skull as he’d hurried forward, like the lightheaded sensation that warned you you were going too high too fast while traversing mountains, but it hadn’t been that strong, and he’d been worriedly scenting the air for blood, and then—

And then the figure had pushed to their feet and fluidly ducked right out of the clearing, as though they’d never been injured at all.

A pop, and the pressure vanished. Virgil treaded forward a few paces after the stranger, bewildered, and was met with a wall of pain the moment he tried to exit the clearing.

He recoiled with a yelp, staring at the empty space between the trees with something like betrayal.

There were tiny purple petals scattered along the ground. Virgil cast his eyes upward with no little dread.

Wisteria trees formed a lavender-colored canopy ringing the clearing, a breathtaking sight, one that he definitely should have noticed before waltzing right into the middle of it.

He turned back the way he came, only to find that there was now a sapling stuck in the dirt hole he’d hopped past earlier. Its blooms were sparse compared to the older trees around it, but Virgil got the feeling it wasn’t any more likely to let him through.

Slowly turning a full circle, he still couldn’t see any trace of the formerly-collapsed stranger or whoever had decided to screw him over via tree-planting.

There was a distant birdcall, the high-pitched caw of a crow.

Virgil recalled the way Roman had decapitated a demon in the blink of an eye, and felt a shudder run through him, his shoulders raising up to his ears.

He suddenly felt a lot more empathy for every hare that had ever gotten caught in his family’s traps.

“How unusual. The vast majority of cognizant demons are far more aggressive by this point.”

The voice was clinical and steady, and when Virgil turned towards it, he found a stranger in a familiar black uniform, a sword strapped to his hip.

The slayer was watching him with an icy, dispassionate gaze, standing just beyond the circumference of the trees.

He was so screwed.

“Nothing to say?” the slayer asked, raising an eyebrow. “No futile demands, no pointless threats?”

Virgil felt his face pinch slightly. What would he even threaten the guy with? Watching him bash his face into the brain-fryingly painful walls of his magic flower cage?

“Patton was right,” he continued, watching as the breath visibly caught in Virgil’s lungs. “You certainly are a unique specimen.”

Patton had—?

Oh.

Virgil’s chest felt a little like it was crumpling inwards, a wilting flower crushed underfoot. He drooped slightly, despite knowing that this was a completely reasonable response. Really, it should have been the fact that he was even allowed to stay with DW and Harley that was surprising, not this.

The hug had probably been to distract him, then. A shocking gamble to make sure he didn’t realize that Patton knew the truth about him.

He should’ve known better.

“I’d advise you to save us both the time and drop the act,” the slayer continued, apparently a bit thrown off by Virgil taking a moment to wallow in completely pointless self-pity. “You’ll find that I’m far harder to trick than soft-hearted fools.”

Was he talking about the kids?

Virgil felt his face pull into a scowl, despite the fact that he’d worried about that exact thing himself. Those were his soft-hearted fools, and not even highly skilled top-ranking demon slayers were allowed to be cruel to them.

“They’re good kids,” he signed sharply, having more trouble than usual forcing his hands into the proper shapes. “Be nice.”

The stranger’s eyebrows flew up slightly, before settling back down into something even colder. “How long did they have left? When did you plan to stop playing nice with your food?”

Virgil recoiled so severely that his hood toppled back, revealing his demonic features and disgusted expression alike.

It shouldn’t have been such a shock. He knew how demons worked, was intimately familiar with the instincts that had plagued him since he’d first regained consciousness as a monster, but the past few months had left him surprisingly thin-skinned. While living there, that sort of vicious accusation was only thrown in his face in his more miserable nightmares.

He’d have sooner used DW’s knife to decapitate himself than tried to take a bite out of one of the kids.

His hands fumbled for a moment, before he gave up and resorted to a sharp shake of his head instead. A firm denial.

The slayer’s face contorted with a hint of anger, the patch of skin between his eyebrows beginning to wrinkle. “Enough. Behavioral oddities are one thing, but they won’t convince anyone with real experience. Demons are motivated only by power and their next meal. Stop pretending, or I’ll cut you down where you stand.”

Virgil could feel his body buzzing with adrenaline, his clenched fists wet with blood where his claws were piercing his own palm, but he clenched his jaw and held firm.

The slayer was going to kill him regardless. Virgil wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of rewriting his time spent with DW and Harley into some twisted plot.

The slayer’s hand dropped down to his sword, and Virgil swallowed thickly, but before a single move could be made, there was an obnoxious fluttering of wings right next to his head.

Virgil whipped his head around, startled, only to receive a faceful of feathers and one disgruntled peck to the nose.

“Bastard! Fiend!” a familiar, raspy voice cried right into his ear.

Virgil stared at the bundle of fluff that was irritably settling back onto his shoulder. It was unmistakably the bedraggled young crow that followed Roman around.

He started to reach a finger up to pet her on automatic, brain still struggling to catch up with what her presence meant, only to freeze at the feeling of sun-hot metal at his throat.

The slayer had crossed half the clearing in a heartbeat, and now stood with his sword one twitch away from sweeping right through Virgil’s neck.

His expression was a stone mask of neutrality, but he couldn’t hide the way his face had drained of color.

“Return the bird.” A monotone demand. A friend of Roman's, then?

Virgil slid his gaze back over to the crow. (What had her name been again? Something ridiculous.) He jostled his shoulder slightly, figuring that would disturb her enough to warrant a departure.

The crow continued to cling onto her perch stubbornly, sharp little talons digging into his cloak. He grimaced, hoping it wouldn’t tear.

“The bird. Now.”

Virgil shot the slayer an irritated look, wiggling his shoulder harder in clear demonstration of his effort.

The slayer didn’t seem remotely appeased.

What was it about Virgil that made people think he was into murdering birds? Was this some demon trend he’d remained blissfully unaware of?

The blade pressed forward slightly, singing through a layer of skin, and Virgil felt his general frustration with the situation solidify into petty spite.

He slapped the blade away, ignoring the piercing burn on his hand and the shallow gouge in his neck alike to jump back and lift a hand to the crow, prompting the slayer to freeze mid-pursuit.

Virgil curled his finger in so the claw wasn’t facing outward and delicately ruffled the downy patch of fluff on the crow’s chest.

“Bird is my friend now,” he signed, and flipped the slayer off for good measure.

“Rapscallion!” the crow added vehemently. Virgil chose to interpret that as agreement, despite the fact that she followed it up by nipping his ear.

The slayer stared at him with a peculiar expression, knuckles white around the hilt of his sword. He exhaled slowly. “What do you want. In exchange for the bird.”

What part of being designated tree-adjacent by a barely-fledged crow translated to ‘holding innocent birds hostage’ to this guy? Virgil was literally the only one being held against his will here!

Well. There was an idea.

“Let me go,” Virgil signed, pointing at the freshly planted wisteria sapling. “Leave me alone.”

The slayer took a long, deep breath. “No. I won’t allow you to roam free and hurt more people.”

“Who have I hurt?” Virgil challenged, crossing his arms.

There was a certain sense of security that came with having an apparently-beloved crow sitting on his shoulder, protecting him from spontaneous beheadings by being dangerously close to his neck.

“I don’t know the specifics.” The slayer’s entire body was rigid with tension. “But I know it was someone. You’re a demon, and a remarkably keen one at that. No matter how well you pretend now, there was a time when you devoured the innocent.”

Virgil flinched despite himself, because the slayer was right. Even if he hadn’t actually done anything in the end, it wasn’t on his own merit. Only Thomas’s presence had pulled him from that feral mindset, kept him from desecrating their parents bodies in an unforgivable way. He’d been lucky.

“I don’t kill humans. I’m helping people,” he signed. “I’m a monster, but I won’t hurt anyone.”

“Your word means nothing,” the slayer said firmly.

Virgil rolled his eyes, letting a low hiss escape from between his clenched teeth. “Then what do you want?” he signed.

“There’s nothing you can give me to earn your freedom,” the slayer answered curtly, eyes barely visible past his lenses. “The only reason you’re not already ash is because there’s still information that can be gleaned from you. Abnormal cases are always the most interesting to unravel.”

Wow! That was about as far from a reassuring answer as a statement could get. Virgil was almost impressed.

“In fact,” the slayer continued, “if my estimations are correct, I should get a baseline for your vulnerability to slow-acting wisteria toxin within the next thirty seconds.”

Virgil’s face scrunched up in confusion, and he followed the tilt of the slayer’s head down to look at his collarbones, where he could just barely see the tail end of the scratch he’d gotten earlier. The edges of the wound were a dark purple, and when he reached up with his fingers, he found it was hot to the touch.

Dizziness descended on him like a second, much more uncomfortable cloak, and Virgil had just enough time to remember the uninvited guest on his shoulder before his knees began to buckle.

He scooped the bird into his hand without hesitation, filled with a sudden panic that the little creature would cling to him even as he fell, and end up squashed.

There was a shout of alarm as his legs gave out completely, but he was too busy to make out any distinct words. He tucked the squawking crow against his chest, giving her a solid cushion on all sides to protect those delicate bird bones.

His vision blacked out entirely as he hit the ground, the vertigo so intense he could hardly tell up from down. His fingers had grown too numb to register much of anything, let alone the negligible weight of an undersized bundle of feathers.

Before he could begin to fear the worst, though, he heard the distinct sound of offended, raspy-voiced swearing, loud enough to be audible even over the blood rushing in his ears.

The little crow was fine.

Well, Virgil thought as he lost consciousness, that makes one of us.

#sanders sides fic #demon slayer au #ts virgil #ts logan #nitwiwd #nothing in this world i wouldnt do #my writing #writing

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

The Weight of Being a "Good Friend"

@tss-anxceit-week Day 3: Trust & Betrayal Canonverse 2,535 Words

Logan appeared in Virgil’s room with his arms folded behind his back, looking at Virgil pointedly. Virgil tensed and paused chewing on his nails to look at him, jumping off the top of his couch to greet him. After a shared quizzical expression, Logan cleared his throat.

“Yeah? What is it?” Virgil demanded, not bothering with politeness or disguising the fatigue in his voice.

 Logan nodded to the couch and Virgil stepped back to let Logan in, who went to go sit on the couch. Virgil shut the door quietly and went to go lean on the wall near him, swallowing heavily and looking down to the ground.

“Virgil, you know I do not handle emotional aspects, but I have been... concerned about your behaviour lately. You seem to always be tired, and you haven’t been talking to Thomas, either. It’s obvious that something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is.” Logan said quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand.

"I’m fine, Logan.” Virgil glanced up at Logan through his bangs, who’s face remained apprehensive. “Yeah, you don’t believe that. Well, whatever. I’m not talking about it. Everybody will think I’m blowing things out of proportion.” Virgil shook his head, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“I promise I will not. Virgil, I need to know what’s going on. This does not seem sustainable,” Logan pleaded emphatically, gripping at his knees.

Virgil hesitated, examining Logan’s face for a moment. His brow was furrowed, and he worried his lip with his teeth for a second before noticing and stopping. “I’ll think about it,” Virgil offered instead. Logan watched Virgil a little longer before nodding in agreement. “Get back to your busy schedule. I’m going to bed.” He stood up straight from off the wall, and Logan looked at him in surprise for a second before getting off the couch. It wasn’t that late, but the expanded dark patches under his eyes and unusually pale color of his skin said that he needed the rest. Virgil watched him closely as he moved, his eyes tracking Logan with a weak wave as he lowered out of the room.

Logan hummed curiously and walked down the stairs and to the kitchen table, depositing himself on a chair. Roman and Patton were situated on the couch, watching TV along with Thomas quietly. It seemed like an average evening. Logan summoned his planner and reviewed the schedule, like he often did in the evenings, but he struggled with focusing. He glanced up at the stairs once more and sighed. Anxiety was still clearly very present in Thomas’s life, but Virgil not communicating about his issue was a problem.

The way Patton also worried his lip when he thought no one was looking made the inefficacy more apparent. Logan was frustrated by missing information and left feeling restless when there were unresolved problems. He took a deep breath and put his head down on the table, pushing the schedule aside. 

“What’s got ya down, kiddo?” Patton asked, leaning in near Logan. Logan jumped slightly in surprise, not realizing Patton had gotten so close.

“I am simply tired, Patton. I think it would be wise to turn in early tonight,” Logan stated, sitting up at the table and adjusting his tie. “I’d like to set an alarm so that Thomas doesn’t stay up late on his phone again,” he added, projecting slightly louder for Roman to hear.

“What if the next post is the right inspiration he needs for something new?” Roman pipped up, looking more interested in the television than the conversation.

“He can find it tomorrow. He will not have the time or the energy to do anything with the inspiration tonight. He could perhaps even miss the post that might be inspiring in his exhaustion,” Logan pointed out the obvious flaw in his logic.

“Last time we tried that, Thomas just turned off the alarm and kept scrolling.” Patton pulled out a dining chair and joined Logan at the table.

“If we come to an accord and agree to not do that tonight, it should not be an issue again,” Logan asserted, pulling the schedule back up to him to return to examining.

“That sounds fair,” Patton said, nodding sagely and holding his chin. “Roman?” He called out to confirm.

“Fine. I guess.” Roman agreed as well, though clearly very reluctantly. Logan let out a small breath of relief and let Thomas know to set a ‘doom-scroll’ alarm for later. Logan glanced over to Virgil’s door again, wondering if Virgil was already asleep.

“Are you wondering if Virge is gonna join us tonight?” Patton asked, folding one arm on the table and propping up his head with the other.

“No, Virgil stated that he was going to bed earlier.” Logan shook his head and flipped the page on his planner, making sure the things that were missed today were recorded to do tomorrow.  

“Oh! Now, that’s surprising from my spooky son. Last month, I caught him sitting under the kitchen table watching conspiracy theories on his phone at two in the morning while I was trying to figure out why Thomas couldn’t fall asleep,” Patton explained with a slight fond chuckle.

“Indeed,” Logan hummed. “I doubt that will be a problem tonight. He appeared to be incredibly exhausted when he told me he was going to bed.” He summoned a pencil to adjust the time on something scheduled for tomorrow that did not seem like it had enough of a time cushion.

“He really hasn’t been around much,” Patton mused, throwing a glance at the stairs and sounding melancholy.

“It has been quite quiet,” Roman stated, shifting on the living room floor as he kept watching television.

“Those are both accurate summations,” Logan validated both their points distractedly.

“Are you worried about Virgil?” Patton asked kindly, looking at Logan with a soft expression.

“I am always concerned with productivity. Thomas is very hard to work with when he keeps falling prey to distractions.” Logan rubbed his face, knocking at his glasses briefly before adjusting them back into position.

“I think he’s easier to work with,” Roman muttered under his breath.

“We have very different jobs, Roman, and I know you are also frustrated by the current state of Thomas’s hair,” Logan reminded him passively.

“Ugh, we better not get any visitors or video calls,” Roman groaned.

“We’re just home alone watching TV, you two, there’s no harm in messy hair,” Patton chided, tapping the table.

“I am aware, Patton, but it is better to be presentable as a form of preparedness rather than letting healthy self-care habits slide. Thomas’s appearance is important to him, and that changing suddenly is an indicator of an issue,” Logan reminded them, adjusting his glasses. Logan looked up from planner and over to Thomas, who wasn’t even watching TV and on his phone again, already doom-scrolling. Logan groaned, closing up the planner and sending it off, standing up from the couch.

“What’s up, teach?” Roman asked, distracted by looking over Thomas’ shoulder to see the phone.

“I don’t believe anything productive is happening tonight,” Logan replied shortly. “Thomas, set an alarm to get ready for bed on your phone,” he told Thomas loudly enough to not be ignored, and Thomas blinked a few times, looking at Logan before switching to the alarm app and setting one for nine PM. “You’ll ignore that one, it is too early. Set an alarm for 11:30 PM and take it seriously when it goes off,” Logan insisted firmly. Roman rolled his eyes, letting out a little huff and Thomas just looked at Logan oddly. “Thomas.”

“Fine, okay, got it,” Thomas replied, setting the alarm where requested. He didn’t seem concerned about not getting enough sleep in the slightest, despite even Virgil valuing that by going to bed early. If Virgil did go to bed, at all. Logan technically couldn’t confirm. The alarm was set, so other than checking in at 11:30, Logan wasn’t needed here for doom-scrolling, so he left to his room to review the memories for the day to make sure the important ones were stored correctly.

———

Virgil paced the room helplessly, long since having given up on trying to sleep. He felt so damn exhausted all the time, but the sleep just wouldn’t come. He was completely on edge, racing thoughts of things that could happen and how terribly things were going plagued every corner of his mind. Checking in on Thomas revealed he was still doom-scrolling, with Patton making quiet awkward stammering noises and looking at the clock. Virgil Let out a heavy sigh and tugged at the zipper on his hoodie sleeve, pulling it up and down while he walked.

“Not that your little failure of a lie earlier wasn’t amusing, Virgil, but if you’re going to go out of your way to fib, shouldn’t you do something more fun than pacing about like a caged animal?” Janus asked in a silky smooth voice, and Virgil jumped, turning to see Janus sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and leaning his chin on an arm resting on his knee.

“Get out of here!” Virgil shot, motioning away.

“Really, you should work on your subterfuge. Dreadful stuff,” Janus teased, grinning at Virgil like a shark would at his dinner.

“I didn’t mean to lie about going to bed, I just couldn’t get to sleep!” Virgil protested, hunching over and glaring at Janus. “Seriously, what are you doing here?” Virgil demanded shortly.

“I was talking about that little squeaky ‘I’m fine’ you tried, but that one was also truly heinous,” Janus replied with the bite of snark.

“Hey, I didn’t squeak!” Virgil clenched his fists as he glowered at Janus.

“Po-tay-to, Po-tot-to,” Janus hummed, drumming his fingers on his chin. “Now, what are you doing trying to lie when it is my thing and clearly not your forté?” He asked with a smug purr in his voice.

Virgil stared at Janus incredulously for a moment, but the expression never faltered, keeping his cool confidence despite the confused stare. “It’s—It’s you, Janus!”

“Yes, lord of the lies, at your service,” Janus said.

“No, I mean, you’re causing this!” Virgil hissed, crossing his arms tightly over his chest and returning to pacing.

“If it was me, I would have lied impeccably, thank you very much,” Janus refuted, sitting up and folding his hands on his lap.

“I hate not bringing it up, and I hate trying to be a ‘good friend’,” Virgil muttered, kicking his sneaker as he turned around during his endless march.

“Of course you do. Terrible thing, really. Now, for the spider’s benefit, seeing as I fully understand, can you explain exactly about what?” Janus asked airily, twisting his gloved hand a little in the air.

Virgil rolled his eyes and huffed. “Elliot’s new boyfriend, Mitchell. He’s awful. And I know Elliot asked us to let them figure it out themselves. And I know we agreed. But it’s killing me to think about what’s going on behind closed doors if that’s how he acts in public,” he explained bitterly.

Janus froze and blinked, then facetiously coughed a few times to hide his surprise. “Virgil, you know that has nothing to do with us, along with the rest of these things you’re so positive about? He could be just the same, or better. Why are you assuming it’s terrible? And why are you acting like it’s our job to fix it when Elliot is their own person?”

“They’re our friend, and we don’t want them hurt, doy!” Virgil smacked himself in the temple with his fist and made a face.

“You can’t save people from being hurt. It’s just an unfortunate part of life,” Janus replied flatly, his face setting seriously.

“Well, maybe it freaking sucks! Maybe it’s normal to be worried about your friends. Why don’t you look past yourself for one freaking second and see how bad this situation is,” Virgil said angrily, his speed picking up as he walked back and forth.

 “Not like this, you’re blowing things out of proportion,” Janus replied, his voice faltering.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone! You’re always telling me I’m overreacting, but eventually I’m not going to be, and Elliot could be the one suffering for it!” Virgil threw his arms in the air and scuffed his shoe on the carpet.

“Virgil. Stop,” Janus said, and Virgil paused to look at him. Janus patted the spot on the couch next to him, and Virgil stomped over to drop onto the couch, just to make it clear he wasn’t fighting for the sake of fighting. “Sometimes, in life, we have to watch our friends and loved ones suffer. Even though we knew there was a better way. Or a compromise. Because they want to be the ones to make their own mistakes. Elliot asked us to drop it, so we did. We can bring it up again if—”

“When,” Virgil insisted.

“If we see it again. And suggest healthier boundaries, because we don’t want to see them hurt. But I’m afraid it’s Elliot’s life and ultimately Elliot’s choice. And no amount of panic or anger will change that. We simply can’t spend all of our time and energy on trying to change something we have no say in. Thomas is sitting out there doom-scrolling because he’s burnt out, even though he already knows that no amount of Twitter will quiet the duke’s suggestions. You know what to do in these situations already. Now look at me and tell me what we’re going to do,” Janus insisted firmly.

“It’s called ‘X’ now,” Virgil said in annoyance, but Janus only glared at him with thinly pressed lips. “Take a deep breath. Tell myself that this is something I can’t change. Try to adapt. Focus on moving forward,” Virgil recited in defeat.

“Right. And we don’t have to keep silent. Nor do we have to stay friends with Elliot, either, if this keeps hurting us. But we should still respect Elliot’s wishes and assume they can handle themselves. They have done so for all the years before we met them. But it’s still their job to speak up in their relationship if they’re unhappy. If we butt in and try to fix things for them, the odds are good it’ll do nothing but breed resentment. We have to live our life and Elliot has to live theirs,” Janus said reassuringly, melting the bitterness from Virgil’s face. Virgil took a deep breath and nodded, letting out the air as a tired sigh. “Is there anything else I need to intelligently and humbly point out before you kick me out of your room?” Janus teased.

Virgil looked up at him, reaching for the capelet with a small tug. “Stay?” Janus wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder, and he leaned in, still holding on to the fabric. They sat there in comfortable silence as Virgil’s breathing evened out and the light in the living room went out when Thomas switched it off. “Tell anyone this happened, and I’ll kill you,” Virgil whispered silently.

“I’ll alert the presses,” Janus scoffed, rubbing Virgil’s shoulder. 

#anxceitweek2023 #tsss #sanders sides #ts sides #tsss fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #tsss fanfic #tss #tss fanfic #SaSi #SaSi fanfic #ts sides fanfic #ayri writes #ts virgil #ts janus #anxceit #virgil sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts patton #ts roman #ts character thomas

[trashyswitch]

Luigi's Secret

Chapter 1: Obsessed with Floof

Luigi has a secret that he does not want anyone, not even his twin brother Mario, to find out about. However, it slowly begins to get harder and harder to hide this secret. And Mario begins to slowly suspect that Luigi is reading more than just 'fluffy stories' online.

This fanfic will feature some spoilers for the Mario Bros movie (2023). However, the first chapter will be entirely spoiler free. I wanted to write some sort of Mario and Luigi fanfic ever since watching the movie. I began to wonder: "What if Luigi was part of the tickle community?" and "How would Mario react if he found out about this little secret?". Another thing you'll notice in this fanfiction series, is that I don't always add the '-a' things to make them sound 100% Italian like they are in the games. This is because they have a more Brooklyn accent. I will be staying true to this new-canon fact throughout this series. There will also be the occasional Italian words, to still make it known that Luigi and Mario are part of an immigrated Italian family.

And that's it! I thoroughly hope you enjoy! And if you wanna watch the movie first before reading Chapter 2 and onward, then feel free to. And if you don't care about spoilers, then feel free to read the rest of it when it comes out. &lt;3

Mario groaned as he woke up to the sun glaring through the window. He covered up his head with the blanket in an attempt to block out the sun. But it was just no use. The blanket seemed to be glowing from the sun shining against the blanket as well. Mario sighed and rubbed his eyes before throwing the blanket off himself. He sat on the side of the bed for a few moments, trying to further wake himself up. 

“Morning, Mario.” Someone said behind him. 

Mario turned around and smiled tiredly. Luigi appeared to be already up and looking at something on his phone. What he was looking at…Mario had a pretty good guess. 

“Reading those stories again?” Mario asked. 

Luigi looked up from the phone with a small blush. “...Maybe…” Luigi mumbled, sinking further into his bed. 

Mario chuckled. “What’s it about this time?” Mario asked. 

Luigi bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to summarize the story without including certain specific scenes in it. “Well…” He cleared his throat and just read the summary at the top of the story. “Roman has decided to summon a whole bunch of puppies, to make Patton beam with happiness. As the day goes on, Roman becomes more and more evil and accidentally goes a little overboard on the puppies…” Luigi read. “It’s called…” He scrolled up. “Puppies! Puppies! Puppies!”.” Luigi read out loud. 

Mario couldn’t help the laugh that left his mouth. “Sounds exactly like something you’d read. Fluffy, cutesy, even got puppies thrown in there.” Mario reacted. 

Luigi smiled and blushed a bit more at this. “Y-Yeah…” Luigi mumbled. 

Mario got off the bed and walked up to Luigi before taking his phone. “Let me see this here.” Mario said, grabbing the top and gently taking it from his brother’s fingers. 

Luigi yelped and tried to reach up and grab it. But Mario was much quicker than him. “M-Mario, why?” Luigi asked. 

“Let’s see…” Mario started to read bits of the fanfiction out loud. 

Luigi squeaked and covered his face with the blanket. Luigi’s blush only began to darken as he heard Mario literally quote the fanfiction in little bits at a time. The even went as far as to pause his reading to add how ‘cute’, ‘funny’ or even ‘unrealistic’ the fanfic was. 

“No person can actually conjure up a puppy on the spot.” Mario told him. 

Luigi whined and tightened the grip on his blanket. “I knoooow that.” Luigi reacted. 

As Mario read more of the fanfic, he actually started to laugh while reading it. “Did the man really refer to the pomeranian as a ‘pom pom puppy’?!” Mario asked. 

Luigi couldn’t help the awkward little laugh he let out as he loosened his grip on the blanket. “Y-Yeah…They are really floofy and soft…” Luigi admitted. 

Suddenly, his blanket of comfort was thrown off of him, and Mario was standing above him in his PJ’s. “Did you seriously mispronounce the word ‘fluffy’?!” Mario asked. 

“WAH!” Luigi yelped and giggled almost desperately as he tried to grab his blanket of solitude. “Nohohoshutup-” Luigi turned to his right and curled into a ball. “Gohoho awahahay!” Luigi mumbled amidst his newfound giggle fit. 

Mario laughed at him a bit more before pointing to the green phone. “Do you even realize what these stories are doing to you?” Mario asked. 

“Marioohohoho…” Luigi mumbled and whined as he covered his own face with his bare hands. 

“They’re turning you as red as my shirt!” Mario pointed out, holding out his shirt before giggling upon seeing the hot blush on Luigi’s ears. “In fact, you’re almost more burgundy than red at this pohohoint!” Mario reacted, gently poking and wiggling his finger on his brother’s visible ear. 

Luigi squeaked and moved his left hand over to cover up his ear. “Ihihit’s called Maroon, Mario…” Luigi told him. 

Mario actually guffawed at this. “Oh really~?” Mario asked. 

Luigi closed his eyes as he risked his future with this one single line: 

“...Burgundy is m-more of a reddish-brown shade…” Luigi admitted. 

Mario smirked as he threw Luigi’s phone onto the bed and rolled up his sleeves. “Alright, smartypants.” Mario started squeezing and skittering his fingers all over Luigi’s exposed left side. “You asked for it.” Mario declared. 

Luigi squealed and arched his back as fits of laughter overcame him. As he flopped onto his back, Luigi tried to both cover up his ticklish spots AND push Mario away from him. But not only did Luigi fail to accomplish one of the actions, he managed to utterly fail at BOTH! And that was laughable in and of itself! 

“Not so tough and mighty now, huh~?” Mario asked with a smirk. 

“MARIOHOHO! Ahahahaha- Leheheave me alohohohone!!” Luigi laughed, slightly whining as he failed yet again, to stop Mario. 

“And let you get away with being the smart one?! No way!” Mario replied. “I’m the older brother! I’M supposed to be the wise one here. And you attempting to take that title from me is just rude.” Mario added. 

“Yohohou’re juhuhust cahahan’t ahaccept the truhuhuhuth.” Luigi admitted. 

Mario dropped his jaw, before widening his smile drastically. “OhoHOOO!” Mario stopped tickling. “And what is THAT?!” Mario asked, leaning against the nightstand, eager to hear his answer. 

Luigi huffed softly as he hugged himself for dear life. He knew he was screwed if he said it…He knew it before he even said the precursor. But…he also felt like he was screwed no matter what his answer would end up being…So, he just…let it leave his mouth. 

“Tha-That I’m taller, and cooler, and therefore smarter.” Luigi declared with a surprising amount of confidence dripping from his lips. 

Mario raised both his eyebrows and dropped his jaw. He knew the man would say it…but he did NOT expect such confidence from the man he called his little brother! And to be completely honest, he was thoroughly impressed! 

“And…Yeah. Yeah, I said it.” Luigi declared, poking Mario’s chest awkwardly in the process. 

Mario looked down at Luigi’s finger…then looked up at Luigi’s eyes…before ultimately dropping his facade with a drop of his head and a soft wheeze. 

Now it was Luigi’s turn to be taken aback. Mario was genuinely laughing with his own fist partly covering up his mouth. It was so funny seeing Luigi become the strong one of the brothers. It was either that, Or it was the embarrassment manifesting itself into fits of laughter. It’s usually hard to tell with Mario. 

“Uhuh…Yeah…” Luigi let out, confused, but still quite proud of himself. 

“Mama mia…” Mario reacted, wiping a tear from his own eye. “Okay, that was a good one.” Mario admitted. 

“O-Oh! Uh- th-thanks!” Luigi reacted. “I…I tried, Mario.” Luigi admitted. 

“Yohou have no idea…” Mario said. 

Luigi smiled a bit more to himself. He felt really proud in this moment. 

Mario looked at him. “No idea how SCREWED YOU ARE!” Mario suddenly scooped up his brother under the arms and threw him a foot into the air. 

Luigi screeched and yelped as he was thrown into the air. All the confidence Luigi had just seconds prior, had diminished as fear as the man was literally thrown for a loop! 

Mario caught his brother bridal style, and took in a big breath really quickly. 

“WaitwaiTWAIT-” Luigi yelled right before the inevitable happened: Mario had unloaded a huge raspberry onto Luigi’s somewhat bare belly. 

“MAMA WAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Luigi screamed as he kicked his legs wildly and waved his arms all over the place. As it would turn out, Luigi’s temporary flying was enough to bring his pj shirt up, uncovering the poor man’s belly just enough for Mario to make the biggest impact right on his belly. Either it was dumb luck, or Mario had deliberately planned it that way. 

Either way, Mario being impressed didn't really change how doomed Luigi would end up being. 

Not even close. 

Mario removed his face from Luigi’s belly, before looking at Luigi. “I wonder how many raspberries it would take to make you utterly breathless…” Mario asked with a smirk. 

Luigi squeaked and covered his mouth hard enough to muffle a lot of his suspenseful giggles. 

“One is clearly not enough.” Mario added as he adjusted his grip on Luigi slightly so he could tease him a bit more. 

How did he do this? 

Well, it’s simple really. Mario started to bring Luigi’s PJ shirt up just a touch more with his right finger. And in the process, Mario had also managed to tickle Luigi’s lower back ribs slightly. This alone was enough to make the boy giggle and wiggle around a bit in Mario’s arms. “Eheheheeee! Mahario please dohohon’t.” Luigi whined. 

“Don’t do what?” Mario asked innocently. 

Luigi widened his eyes. 

“Please, by all means: Tell me what I can’t do.” Mario told him. 

Luigi squeaked and leaned back, covering his mouth and letting out a big burst of whiny giggles. 

“Oh? Oh what’s that?” Mario asked, bringing his ear slightly closer to Luigi’s face. But all the man heard was squeaky, flustered giggles from his leprechaun-colored brother. “Oh you can’t tell me?!” Mario reacted. 

Luigi squeezed his eyes shut, knowing what was coming next. 

“Looks like I’m just gonna haaaave to continue doing what I had planned.” Mario declared before taking in a big breath and blowing another raspberry. 

“PPPPBBBFBBFBFFFBBFBBFBB!” 

Luigi threw his head back, uncovered his mouth and let out a SUPER strong cackle. He had no clue what to do with his hands at this point! So the man had begun flapping his arms like a freaking bird while kicking his feet up and down at rapid speed! 

“Oooone raspberry.” Mario declared, taking a second to look at Luigi with a smirk before taking in another deep breath. 

“PPPPFFFFBBBFBFBFBFBBBBFFFBBFBFBFFF!” Mario blasted another raspberry right into Luigi’s vulnerable tummy. 

“BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Luigi cackled once again before covering his face. 

“Twooo raspberries.” Mario said with a smirk. “I wonder when the snorts will start coming out…” Mario said out loud. 

“YOHOHOHOHohou suhuhuhuhuck!” Luigi yelled at him. 

“Oh I do, do I?” Mario said as his smirk widened. “Congratulations! You just earned yourself another raspberry!” 

Mario took in a big breath and blew. “PPPPBBFFFBFBFBFFFBBBBFBFBBBFBFFBB!” 

“GAHAHAHAHA- *snort* -AHAHAHAHAHA- *snort* EEEHEEK! NOHOHO-” Luigi covered his mouth as more snorts started coming out at full force. “OHOHO NOHOHOHO- *snort* NOHOOOHO!” Luigi yelled, uncovering his mouth before letting out a long fit of cackles. 

“Wow! I’m impressed, brother! Three raspberries, and you’re not even breathless!” Mario reacted. “Snorty for sure, but not breathless.” Mario added. 

“Ihihihihi…*huff* Ihihi’m gohohonna-” 

Mario smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What are you gonna do?” Mario asked. 

“Ihihi-” Luigi attempted to say. 

Mario’s smirk widened. “Tell me, my sweet little brother, what YOU are gonna do while YOU’re stuck in this predicament.” Mario declared, poking his chest. 

Luigi wasn’t even thinking straight, which was exactly why Luigi let out the following sentence: 

“Ihihi’m gonna get you back sohoho bad after thihihis!” Luigi threatened through his giggles. 

Mario narrowed his eyes as a genuine little smile grew onto his own lips. “Whatever you say, brother.” Mario said, shrugging his shoulders before breathing in and blowing yet ANOTHER raspberry onto his poor brother’s belly. 

“aaAAAAAHAHAHAHA- *snort* HAHAHAHAHAAA! *snort* EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEEEeee-” 

Mario removed his face from Luigi’s belly right around the time that Luigi’s body went limp as his laughter became breathless. 

“Four raspberries…” Mario muttered before dropping Luigi back onto the bed. “Not bad, bro.” Mario reacted, poking his side. 

Luigi curled himself up into a ball on his right side again, hugging himself as he attempted to calm down. “Yohohohohou…Yohohou’re ehehevil.” Luigi told him, squeezing his eyes shut as his giggles died down. “Sohohoho, sohoho evihil.” Luigi mumbled. 

Mario smirked and gave Luigi’s neck a little flutter with his fingers. “I know.” Mario replied rather proudly. 

This immediately made Luigi squeak and tense up, curling his neck to the left. “EEEEheeheeheeheehehee!” Luigi giggled, reaching his hands back to move the fingers away from his neck. 

Unfortunately, this move of defense only opened up another vulnerable spot on the man. And Mario quickly took advantage of that. Mario shoved his hand right into Luigi’s left armpit, wiggling his fingers. Luigi turned over onto his back yet again, and instinctively squeezed Mario’s hand against his armpit, locking it in. “Wahahait dohohon’t!” Luigi laughed. 

“Thought I was done, huh?” Mario asked. 

“Yeheheah! Ihihi thohought-” Luigi looked up at his brother. “Ah ah ah~” Mario warned with his free left hand. “Just because I complimented you, doesn’t mean I was done.” Mario reminded him. 

Luigi closed his eyes and just gave up wiggling. He was too tired to keep moving for much longer. 

Mario stopped his fingers, and slid them out of Luigi’s armpit. “Okay, now I’m done.” Mario decided. 

Luigi covered his sides. “Ihihi dohon’t believe you…” Luigi admitted. 

“I am. Promise.” Mario replied, holding out his pinky. 

Luigi looked at the pinky for a moment, before sighing and intertwining his own pinky with Mario’s. With the promise in place, they let go. Now, Luigi would’ve moved onto his side again…but he was just too tired to do that at this moment. So, he remained on his back. Mario knelt down and picked up Luigi’s phone, which seemed to have dropped on the ground amidst Mario’s tickle attack. He handed Luigi his phone, holding it up like a claw machine. “Here.” Mario said. 

Luigi reached up to grab it, but widened his eyes slightly as Mario lifted it up another inch away from his hand. Luigi knew something was up, but couldn’t think properly. So, he reached for it again, but Mario lifted the phone up another inch. Luigi narrowed his eyes and reached for it again. And Mario lifted it up yet another inch. 

Luigi grumbled a bit. Two can play at that game. Luigi moved his fingers up to Mario and tickled his own fingers against Mario’s side and ribs. 

“BWAAAHAHA!” Mario laughed, pulling his arm back and dropping the phone right into Luigi’s hands before covering up his own side and giggling. 

“That’s just a small taste of what’s coming for you.” Luigi told him with a smirk. 

Mario bit his lip as he felt a slight blush of his own starting to show up on his face. He decided to try and brush it off by walking away from him.  But Luigi had decided to take this wonderful chance to tease him just once more. 

Luigi cleared his throat with a small smirk. “Ah, I can see why you like the color red now.” 

Mario froze in place. Did he just- 

He took a deep, slow breath. Mario quickly turned around and ran to Luigi’s bed. “Pinky promise is OVER.” Mario declared as he jumped onto the bed and started mercilessly tickling his brother. Turns out Luigi’s snap talk had not been corrected quite enough yet…

#tickle fights #teasing #raspberries #brotherly bonding #brotherly love #male female friendships #blushing #ticklefic #switch!mario #switch!luigi #switch!peach #luigi's secret

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

A Prince and His Subjects

Title: A Prince and His Subjects

Summary: Or five times the other sides were a simp for Roman and he never noticed. Meanwhile Remus suffers as he tries to protect his brother.

Warnings: none, no smut but there are spicy implications.

Pairings: LAMP, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Roman always thought that he wasn’t anything special. Yes, he had his own special abilities and magic. He was confident and extra confident on good days. He was brave and kind. Yet, Roman felt as if he was no different nor did he stand out. He tries to with his prince role but he knows he doesn’t always have to put on the costume. He was just Roman. Thomas’ Creativity, Ego, and Passion. Nothing more and nothing less. That’s what he saw and thought of himself. Of course, there’s his big tower of insecurities but he’d rather not address them. To him, Roman is just Roman. The prince isn’t aware that his subjects, or rather the other sides see so much more. Remus does and he gags every time. He’s glad they’re treating his brother nicely but they could be simping less. A lot less.

1.

            It’s another slow day with Thomas free for the day so that left the sides with not being needed in a meeting for the day or until their host summons them. In the Mindpalace, Patton called everyone together to do some cleaning since the common area had become a mess. The place was used for many movie nights and sleepovers during the past few weeks. So, now they stood in the messy common area. There was trash on the couch, books on the coffee table as well as abandoned coffee mugs and empty cookie plates. There’s probably something behind the couch where Remus pops up to join them.

“Okay, everyone! Are you guys ready to clean?” Patton asks, grinning. “I know it would be easier to snap the mess away but it’s also tricky since we don’t know exactly where those things go.”

Roman nods, always eager to help with a little cleaning. He doesn’t look like it but he does like organizing things so they match and look neat plus the extra space is satisfying to him.

“I’m ready, Padre!” he grins, doing his usual royal pose.

Patton claps happily.

“Good! Has everyone decided what they’ll handle?”

“I’ll clear up the books. I apologize for leaving so many of them here.” Logan volunteers.

“That’s alright, Lo. We know you can’t put your books down. If you want, you can leave the book you’re currently reading here.” Patton replies.

Logan blinks and smiles small, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Ah. Thank you, Patton.”

“Of course! Okay, who else is doing what?”

“I’ll handle the cobwebs, dust, and the trash so Princey doesn’t whine about dust allergies.” Virgil answers, taking off his hoodie and tying it around his waist.

“Please do vanquish every speck of dust. I refuse to sit through another movie night with watery eyes.” Roman huffs cutely, feigning a pout. He does appreciate Virgil taking him into consideration.

Virgil chuckles, averting his gaze with a light flush.

“I’ll vanquish all of them, Princey.”

Remus rolls his eyes at that as Patton nods.

“Good! Roman, Janus?” Patton asks, turning to them.

“I’m going to rearrange the furniture back to where they were. We haven’t moved them since the last sleep over as well as reorganize the movies.” Roman volunteers. “Plus, this place is majorly due for redecorating.”

Patton giggles at that.

“Have fun, Ro! Oh, and don’t strain yourself!”

“I’ll be alright, Padre. I don’t just train to vanquish the Dragon Witch.” Roman grins, waving his hand to change the top half of his costume into a tank top.

            Roman used to be ashamed of showing his arms since they were covered in plenty scars but with some assurances, he found some bravery. Lately, especially on hot days, Roman can be found in tank tops or completely topless. It’s definitely not unwelcome. Roman trains a lot and works out for his Imagination adventures and because he likes keeping his body fit and toned so he’s got quite a pair of muscly arms as a well as a nicely toned chest. It makes the others minus Remus glance at him for a moment. Roman just blinks obliviously.

Meanwhile, Patton stops himself from getting any redder as he tears his gaze away from Roman and his arms before turning to Janus.

“What about you, Jan?”

Janus hums, stealing a second glance at Roman because he can and he’s the most shameless next to the twins.

“Hm, I suppose I shall assist Roman. Someone has to pick up the mess when he moves the furniture. Plus, there’s bound to be something interesting under the couch.” he answers, smirking at Roman.

Roman only smiles innocently at Janus and nods.

“Sure! I could use someone to watch my back in case I bump into something.” he chirps, the poor thing unaware of what was going on.

Virgil, having known Janus long enough to spot his schemes, squints and glares subtly at Janus.

That sneaky fucking snake. That was clever.

Remus nearly gags. He had been surprised when Janus admitted he was attracted to Roman. He’s glad his brother is getting love but also wished he hadn’t had to see stuff like this. He’s not the mushy gushy love guy here. He’s the gross, icky intrusive man. That, and his brother was just so innocent and dumb, more so than Patton. Remus wanted to keep him that way. Not that he cared, nope.

Patton just smiles, flustering more. He seems to know too.

“Alright, Janus. I’ll help Virgil with the dusting then I’ll take care of the dishes.” he nods, summoning a feather duster. “Remus, can you help clean too? You don’t have to handle soap.”

Remus secretly is relieved to hear that and looks around. Well, someone’s gotta keep an eye on Roman and make sure the others don’t make him uncomfortable by accident.

“I’ll clear out my stuff from behind the couch because if I don’t, Janny’s gonna make me do it anyways.” he huffs.

Janus chuckles.

“Perhaps you should stop bringing your things to movie night.” he teases. “We don’t need any more…toys.”

Roman tilts his head in confusion. He may handle romance but he tends to miss innuendos and the like.

“But we always bring our plushies to movie night?” he questions.

“Oh, those toys are okay. Remus can’t bring his toys though.” Janus grins, resisting the urge to ruin his innocence.

“Why? What kind of toys does Remus have?” Roman asks, even more confused.

Remus glares at Janus who has a smug grin on his face.

“Don’t worry too much about it, RoRo.” Remus intervenes.

The prince blinks.

“Oh. Okay then.”

Patton clears his throat awkwardly at that and summons his cleaning apron as well.

“Okay, let’s get cleaning, everyone!”

            With that, the sides went off to go do their tasks. Roman immediately went to the beanbags he left piled in the corner from the last movie night. He hums and bends down, scooping up the blankets on top along with the pillows, setting them aside. Then he picks up his Beast onesie and waves his hand to send it back to his room. With that done, Roman bends back down and gathers the beanbags, unaware of where Janus’ eyes were.

            Janus had followed Roman, waiting for him to move something so he can watch-help Roman pick up any items that had been hiding under the furniture. When he saw Roman bend ever so perfectly, he couldn’t help but smirk at the new view. Roman was quite toned, even from the back. The snake side’s eyes slowly travel lower and lower and…

Roman stands up and Janus hides his smirk.

“Good work, Roman. Oh, and you even found the missing TV remote.” Janus praises, taking that moment to pat Roman’s arm.

Remus squints.

Is the snake seriously feeling up his twin? Gross.

“Oh, thanks, Jan! Could you grab it for me? I need to move these.” Roman grins back at the yellow side.

Janus squeezes Roman’s arm and nods.

“Of course.”

Roman nods his thanks and waddles away with the beanbags.

Remus huffs and stands up from where he was looking for his things behind the couch.

“Really? Feeling up my brother in front of me? You might as well grope his ass too, you horny fucking snake.” he growls, huffing.

Janus merely chuckles and smirks.

“Tempting but we have cleaning to do, Remus. Besides, it’s not like Roman’s going anywhere anytime soon~”

Roman, who had returned just then, blinks in confusion.

“Where would I be going?”

Remus says nothing and glares at Janus.

2.

            Virgil doesn’t often wander into the Imagination, especially alone. When Roman asked him to come along for a walk, he couldn’t really say no. Roman had busted out what he dubs as the “princey pout” and Virgil was a weak side. So now, Virgil finds himself strolling along beside Roman in the Enchanted Forest. It’s nice and peaceful. Or as peaceful as Virgil can tell. Being the embodiment of someone’s Anxiety always reminds him that anything bad could happen. So, Virgil is still a little on guard. He tries to distract himself and glances at Roman.

            Roman is humming as he walks along, his katana sheathed at his side. He had assured Virgil that they’re not going to fight anything but he decided to bring it along. Just in case. Bright emerald eyes gaze at the forest path head, counting the little yellow daisies that dot the way. A blue jay then flutters from its nest and flies down to Roman with a chirp. The creative side smiles fondly and holds up his finger, chuckling as the bird perches for a moment. He takes that moment to pet the bird’s tiny head.

“Hello, little one. I see your injured wing is feeling better. Have your eggs hatched?” Roman asks, gently stroking the bird.

The bird chirps and shakes his head.

“Ah, I see. I’ll try to be here when that does happen.” Roman replies, chuckling as the bird hops and chirps happily.

Meanwhile, Virgil blinks out of his stupor.

“Huh. So, you can talk to animals, princey.” he teases, smirking slightly.

Roman smiles and lets the bird go, watching it return to its nest.

“I love my creatures, big and small, so I used a spell to give myself the ability to communicate with them.” he explains, waving to a passing rabbit.

Virgil hums at that.

“Or maybe you’re just actually a Disney prince.” he mutters.

Roman blinks.

“What?”

“N-Nothing, shut up!” Virgil flustered.

“Oh. Well…I guess we should just keep on walking then.”

Virgil sighs and nods.

Nice job, Virgil.

            As they continue to walk, neither notice the rustling tree branches behind them. Up above in the thick of the tree branches is Remus, watching them walk. He was going to jump down as a sneak attack on Roman but held back when he saw Virgil. Out of curiosity, he stayed back to watch them walk. Huffing, Remus hops to another branch to follow after them. Remus isn’t being overprotective towards his little brother. Nope. He’s just…making sure Roman is okay. Yeah.

            Meanwhile, Roman leads Virgil to big clearing in the forest. A beautiful lake sits in the center, shaded by the canopy above. Off to the side and further back is a beautiful cottage with lavender vines growing down the sides of the roof. Playful creatures like rabbits and squirrels scurry by. A small duck family lounges at the side of the pond. Dragon flies dance around and across the lake. There’s also a log to sit on nearby. This place is one of Roman’s favorite places to go when things are too much or when he wants to be alone. He then leads Virgil to the log bench.

“This is what I wanted to show you. One of my favorite places.” he explains, gazing at the water.

Virgil follows his gaze and watches some waterlilies float by.

“It’s…beautiful, Ro.” he replies, perching on the log bench.

Roman smiles softly, watching the ducklings splashing in shallow of the lake.

“I’m glad you think so. It’s where I sometimes go to unwind after a long day or just to think. Sometimes I come here to nap.” he smiles, chuckling.

Virgil nods along.

“Yeah? That sounds pretty relaxing. I don’t think I could nap out here. A bug might crawl up my nose or mouth or ears. Or I’ll somehow roll into the lake and die even if it’s shallow.” he replies, laughing too.

Roman chuckles again.

“That’s understandable but if you do ever want to give it a try, I’m here to accompany you. I’ll make sure no bugs crawl inside you or that you don’t roll into the lake. Or we could do other things.”

Remus, who had followed and watched from the branches, squints.

Virgil flusters, smiling shyly at Roman for a moment.

“L-Like what, Princey?”

“Swimming!” Roman grins, standing up.

“Oh.”

Virgil lets his heart calm down. Bless Roman, he’s just so damn innocent.

Meanwhile, Remus frowns and huffs.

“You really thought you were going to get dicked down by my brother, huh? Naughty emo.” he whispers, knowing damn well that Virgil can at least hear him.

Virgil does hear him, his head whipping to the side. He squints but sees nothing though he swears there’s glowing eyes in one of the trees and-

“So, do you want to swim with me, emo?”

Virgil looks back to Roman and nearly falls off the bench, his face reddening.

Roman had changed into a pair of swim trunks, giving Virgil an eyeful of his chiseled abs and toned arms. It doesn’t help that he’s got…quite the chest or a sexy-

“Virgil?”

Virgil jolts and averts his gaze.

“Uh, sorry, what?” he answers dumbly.

“I said, do you want to swim with me?” Roman asks again, head tilted in confusion.

Virgil flusters.

“Oh, uh, I’m good. Don’t want to ruin the eyeshadow and I’m too pale.” he replies.

It’s not a lie but he didn’t want to tell Roman he actually couldn’t swim or that he’ll combust, staring at Roman’s abs and arms.

Roman just shrugs and smiles.

“Okay then. I’ll just go on ahead.” he hums, turning around.

Once again, Virgil is blessed with the view of Roman’s backside. Damn, even his back muscles are hot.

Remus growls lowly and huffs.

“That’s not where his eyes are, Virgil.” he hisses.

Virgil jumps again and turns red, glaring at the eyes in the trees. Dammit, Remus.

3.

            Logan doesn’t often hang out in Roman’s room. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, no. It’s just…a little harder to function normally being in the same room as Roman. Especially in his bedroom. He’s Logic, after all. He’s not supposed to be feeling stuff…or thinking about…certain things.

            And yet, Logan finds himself outside of Roman’s room with some books under his arm. It’s a brainstorm session and Roman invited him over. The logical side figured that he could use the books as a distraction, so he didn’t have to look at Roman too much. Sighing, Logan stands tall and knocks at Roman’s door.

“Be there in a moment!” comes Roman’s voice.

The door then opens.

“Ah, I hope I’m not-oh.” Logan’s words die on his tongue.

Roman is back in his tank top and it seems he’s been experimenting with his makeup again. He’s always had the prettiest face despite all of them looking similar to each other.

“Um, Logan? What were you saying?” Roman tilts his head cutely and Logan has to clear his throat.

“Ah, I was saying, I hope I’m not late.” Logan stammers, adjusting his glasses.

Roman smiles.

“You’re right on time, Specs! Come on!” he chirps, taking Logan’s free hand and tugging him inside before shutting the door.

Logan lets Roman lead him. Even his hands feel strong.

“You wanna join me in bed?” Roman asks.

Logan nearly chokes but saves it with a cough.

“E-Excuse me?”

Roman plops down on his big, royal bed with some books piled in front of him and his beloved red binder.

“Do you want to sit here and brainstorm? It’s comfy and soft. It’s okay if you don’t want to. You can also take my desk chair.” he asks, blinking innocently.

Oh. Right. That’s what he meant.

Under Roman’s bed, Remus squints and huffs as he chews on one of Roman’s old boots. Even nerdy wolverine had naughty thoughts about his brother. Gross. It makes Remus summon a shuriken. Just in case.

Logan regains his composure and nods, clearing his throat a second time.

“I-I’ll join you, Roman.” he replies.

He then toes off his shoes and sits on Roman’s bed before setting his books down.

“Yay!” Roman cheers before grabbing his binder and summoning a pen. “So, do you want to hear what I have so far?”

Logan finds himself staring for a moment before refocusing and nodding.

“Of course.”

For next hour, he and Roman share ideas and thoughts. They wind up chatting a lot and talking about books they’ve been reading, upcoming things on Thomas’ schedule, and other little things. It’s nice and Roman cherishes the moment because it’s not often they can settle down and just talk without bursting into arguments. They’re working on arguing less though. It’s a…long process.

“Ooh, I’m so excited for Thomas to do the Crofters tasting video!” Roman then squeals.

Logan finds himself tugging on his tie for the millionth time this hour. Roman’s just so sweet. So bright.

They had moved onto video ideas and the conversation evolved into discussing already planned videos. Most of them were to be fun little shorts for Thomas to do as a break from his usual stuff.

“I agree though I wish we didn’t have to rank them. They all taste exquisite.” Logan replies, a small smile on his lips.

Roman giggles and Logan feels like he’s been blinded by the sun.

“Definitely! But I’m curious to see what Thomas’ opinion is. He only gets certain flavors and there’s probably a lot more he hasn’t tried.” The prince grins, bouncing up and down.

“Of course.” Logan replies before flustering and averting his gaze. “And I appreciate the fact you invited me into this video.”

Roman nods happily.

“I wanted to, Logan! Crofters was your thing first and I merely got inspired to try. Plus, it’s your turn in the spotlight, my dear nerd.” he winks.

Logan has to breathe through his nose to stay calm. Damn, that handsome prince and his handsome face.

“T-Thank you, Roman.” he manages to say a moment later.

Roman nods again and Logan takes a moment to calm himself down on the inside. The two then go back to talking and brainstorming. At some point, Logan found himself gazing at Roman’s face again as the prince was talking.

Logan couldn’t help it. Roman had such a pretty face. The scars made him look extra handsome. His eyes were just as pretty, sparkling like a pair of emeralds. If Logan looked closer, he could see that Creative spark in those eyes. He could see passion and wonder. Sometimes Logan wondered what the world was like through Roman’s eyes.

“Uh, Specs? Logan?”

Logan blinks and realizes he’d been ogling Roman for some time now. Oops.

“A-Apologies, Roman. I…got lost in thought.” he answers, face flushed.

Meanwhile, Remus who had moved to watch from his twin’s massive closet, rolls his eyes.

“You’re so lucky it takes more bullshit than that to summon Janny.” he hisses under his breath.

Back to the two, Roman just smiles and pats Logan’s shoulder.

“It’s okay! Anyways, I was asking if I could practice my makeup skills on your face. Thomas wants to do another makeup video and I want to be on top of my skills so I can help!” he replies.

Logan doesn’t mind makeup though he doesn’t wear it as often as Roman does. He’s not really that good with the art. Yet, he can’t find himself to deny Roman. Not with that smiling, pretty face looking at him.

“Sure, but nothing heavy, Roman.” he nods, a little flustered.

Roman perks up and claps happily, bouncing up from the bed.

“Oh, thank you, Logan! Wait there! I’m gonna get some stuff from the bathroom.” he squeals before dashing off to his bathroom.

Once the door clicks shut, Remus takes that time to slip out of the closet.

“Watch yourself, nerd. I could hear your nasty little thoughts from there.” he whispers in the logical side’s ear, holding up a shuriken.

Logan blinks, composing himself from being startled.

“What do you mean? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

Remus squints.

“Uh huh. I saw you eye-fucking my brother.”

Then he sinks away while Logan is left standing there with a red face.

4.

            Patton loves to bake a lot. It’s calming and fun and he loves giving treats to everyone. He loves it more when he bakes with someone. This time, he’s baking with Roman which has him super excited. Roman is often busy in the Imagination, helping Thomas, or doing some creative work so he doesn’t always have time to do this kind of stuff. With Thomas having another slow day and things being quiet in the Mindpalace, Patton was able to invite Roman who happily agreed to join.

            And now here they were in the kitchen, utensils and bowls scattered around the counter. Flour covers the surface. Patton is in his sky-blue apron and Roman in his white apron. Roman also has his bangs pinned away from his face with a cute little hairclip that’s shaped like a crown. Right now, the two were mixing cake batter.

“Mm, I can’t wait to have these for dessert later. We deserve a little treat!” Roman grins, eager to have some cake after dinner.

Patton nods happily.

“We do! How’s your batter coming along?”

Roman holds up his red bowl.

“I think it’s almost ready!” he answers, mixing a few more times.

“Good! Mine’s almost ready too! Once we get these in the oven, we can work on the frosting and icing!”

Roman nods.

“Oh, I love that part!”

The two laugh and they keep mixing. Soon the batter is ready and they put it in the cake pans. Once that’s done, they place it in the oven to bake. After shutting the oven door and setting the timer, Patton moves and opens the cabinet to get more bowls while Roman gets the ingredients needed.

Patton then sees a problem. The rest of the big mixing bowls are on the top shelf of the cabinet and he can’t reach them.

“Oh dear.” he frowns.

Roman sets down the box of icing mix that he was looking at.

“Is something wrong, Pat?” he asks.

“Could you reach up and get those bowls for me, Roman?”

“Oh, sure!”

Before Patton can move aside, he feels something solid behind him and he blinks. He looks up and nearly squeaks. Roman’s pressing up against him, reaching up into the cabinets. Patton quickly turns away, looking at the counter instead. He can feel Roman’s chest behind his head.

Roman is much taller than him and Patton has no complaints. He’s…very strong too. If Patton leaned back enough, he could feel Roman’s chest against the back of his head and-

“One of the others must have put the bowls up here after movie night.” comes Roman’s voice from behind him. It makes him shiver as Roman’s basically talking in his ear.

Then the solid and muscly wall that is Roman is gone from behind him, now standing beside him instead with the bowl.

“Here you go!”

Patton blinks and hopes he isn’t blushing too much before taking the bowl.

“T-Thank you.”

Roman nods and goes to the other side of the kitchen with the icing box to read the instructions.

Meanwhile, Patton calms himself down. As he moves to put the bowl down, he feels something grab his ankle and he almost squeaks again. The fatherly side looks down and has to hold back another squeak when he sees Remus’ head sticking out of the sink cabinet.

“Don’t even think about it, froggy.”

Then Remus lets go and disappears under the sink.

Patton shudders at that and continues with baking, totally not thinking about Roman’s body against his earlier.

5.

            It’s another slow day in the Mindpalace. Everyone had been hard at work, assisting Thomas last week so this time they agreed to just chill out for the time being. They gathered in the living area and put on a movie though no one really paid much attention to it. Patton was doing a word search for fun, Logan sitting next to him on the couch with a book. Virgil was next to Logan, gaming away on his Switch. Roman and Remus took up the beanbags beside the couch, the twins doodling and brainstorming in a shared sketchbook. Janus sat at their feet, also reading.

Though Janus was getting bored. He’s already read his book and despite it being a mystery novel, the plot was predictable. He sets his book down and glances around before seeing Roman. He hides a fond smile as he hears him giggle at something Remus says.

Janus has heard from the others about their…encounters with Roman. He’s very tempted to try something to get Roman to…show off a little. He looks around some more and spots the thermostat.

Hmm…

Janus then grins and nudges Virgil’s leg.

“Fuck off, Janus.” Virgil huffs without looking up.

“Okay but you’ll miss the show, my dear emo.”

Virgil pauses his game and looks over to Janus.

“What show?”

“Just wait and see.”

Janus then subtly waves his hand to turn up the heat on the thermostat. It takes a few moments but soon it’s starting to get warm. Patton and Logan hardly noticing, being used to the warmth of the Mindpalace. Virgil is used to sweating in his hoodie and Janus himself likes heat. Remus already runs warm so he doesn’t notice much change.

Soon it’s even more warm and Roman is feeling a little uncomfortable in his costume. He loves it and all but the thick material makes it hard to stay cool. It’s why he has a different costume for his Imagination trips. Sighing, Roman sets his pencil aside and stands up.

“Oh, it’s just so hot in here! Sweltering!” he huffs. “I apologize but a prince must shed his costume!”

Roman then waves his hand and he’s now shirtless again.

Janus smirks. Lovely.

“Holy shit…Nice one, Jan.” a flustered Virgil mutters beside him, fist bumping Janus.

Janus nods, enjoying the view.

“Very.”

Patton squeaks, adjusting the sleeves of his cardigan around his neck as his face reddens.

“O-Oh my goodness…”

Logan nods, fixing his glasses as he flusters.

“Quite…”

Meanwhile Remus glares and huffs.

“I hate all of you.”

No one replies, too busy staring at Roman who had decided to fan himself for the moment.

Remus glares more.

“Hey! Quit drooling all over him, you fucking weirdos!” he growls, not liking how they’re ogling his twin.

Sweet, oblivious Roman blinks.

“They’re not drooling all over me. That would feel gross, Ree.” he frowns, head tilted in innocence.

Remus resists the urge to smack the others or knock Roman out just to spare him.

“Don’t-Don’t worry too much about it, RoRo.” he sighs, getting up to go check the thermostat.

Roman just blinks again. The others sure have been acting weird lately and he wonders if Remus knows why. He won’t tell him though.

“Oh. Okay then. Wonder why they’re staring at me…”

Oh, if only Roman knew what they saw.

THE END

#sanders sides #sanderssides #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #LAMP #creativitwins #sanders sides fluff

[decent0distraction]

Hi! You may know me as the person who does all of those Our Flag Means Death AUs, theories, and posts that either ruin your day, make you laugh, or both. Mostly both.

But I have something else for you.

My take on family!Sanders Sides - based off of the whole family roles the Sides gave themselves in the Five Years video.

To refresh your memory, Patton labeled himself as the dad, Logan as the mom, Roman as the son (the hotshot), Virgil as the (gay, emo) cousin, Janus as the (sassy) aunt (who talks shit about everyone), and Remus as the (fresh out of jail) uncle.

BUT

This AU of mine is… messed up.

Ok ok ok SO

We begin with Janus Duke, who has just moved back to the town of Sanders Bay, a lovely seaside community.

Janus has spent the last 10 years raising their son (Janus uses they/them pronouns bc I said so), moving from place to place for reasons that Virgil doesn’t know about yet that we’ll get into later. Stay with me.

Virgil is 16 and on his first day at Sanders Bay Secondary Academy (what a name, huh?), his dad, Remus, is getting out of jail.

When Virgil was about 6, Janus and Remus had decided to walk from their house into town to pick up their son from the babysitter. They were about halfway there when someone attacked Janus, cutting his face (resulting in scars on one side of his mouth, eye, and cheek, resembling a snake like face). Remus reacted violently towards the person who just hurt his spouse, the cops are called, and it’s made out to look like Remus had hurt Janus, who was unconscious.

When Janus finally came to, they were in a hospital, being told that their husband had been arrested and arranged.

Cut to present day, Virgil’s first day is met with a slight complication when an idiot threatre-jock hybrid accidentally knocks into him, causing him to hit his head.

Roman Hart insists that Virgil allow him to escort him to the nurse, who just so happens to be his dad, Patton Hart.

Roman’s other dad is their home room and history teacher, Logan Hart.

By the end of the school day, Roman and Virgil are sort of friends. But when Roman asks Virgil if they’d want to hang out or something, Virgil explains that he has to get home because his dad is finally home.

Roman just assumes that Virgil’s dad is in the military. He doesn’t even actually get to ask, because Virgil is too busy running out to Janus’s car.

Everything is going fine for a little while. Virgil studies with Roman after school, or they go to the mall, eventually going to Roman’s house.

The Harts are the nicest people in town, and Patton simply adores having Virgil around.

Janus, one day, is waiting with Remus in the school pick up lane for Virgil. The two of them are having a nice, causal conversation that is interrupted by Janus seeing their son talking to them.

“Oh, my God!” Janus slammed his foot on the break and put the car in park. “It’s them! It’s them!”

Remus looked to see their son standing with another boy, while the boy’s parents talked to Virgil.

They were Patton and Logan Hart, two people the Duke parents were happy to never see again.

When Patton put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, Janus struggled to rush out of the car. Remus followed.

“Virgil!”

The anxious teen turned to watch his mom run to him and pull him away from the Harts.

“Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

Virgil was beyond confused. “What? No! I’m fine. What are you-“ He stopped when Remus started to approach.

“Dad? Dad, I don’t know what’s happening, but nothing happened. Dad!”

But the man ignored his son in favor of getting in Logan’s face. “You’d do right by you and your family to stay the fuck away from mine.”

Logan didn’t even flinch. “And it would be correct for you to avoid threatening my family.”

Virgil was ready to try to defuse the situation before Janus began to have a panic attack. “Mom?”

Remus is then distracted by his spouse needing his help. He gets his little family in the car and they get home, where the parents sit down and finally tell Virgil the truth.

The truth is, Patton Hart and Janus Duke were friends. When they were 20, and Janus had a child and Patton didn’t, he got upset. And when he saw baby Virgil, he decided that he needed that child.

He acted like everything was fine. He offered to babysit Virgil so the new parents could have some time to themselves. He paid for Janus to be attacked, for Remus to be framed.

But when Janus woke up, he called Patton, screaming, begging. He knew Patton had the baby.

And Patton knew that if he kept Virgil, everything could be traced back to him eventually.

So he returned Virgil, acting like he was just watching the child for his friend.

But Janus moved away, moving from place to place so that they couldn’t be found.

Janus was so desperate to have their husband and their son’s father back that they believed Patton and Logan had moved on.

But to see that man anywhere their baby, Janus couldn’t handle it.

Virgil knows the truth now. How can anything be the same?

Before they can try to figure it out, the doorbell rings.

Janus flinches and Virgil is still busy hugging his Mom to bother with the door.

“I got it,” Remus tells them, answering the door to a man in all black and sunglasses.

“Look, whatever you’re selling, we’re not interested. Try the neighbors across the street. A lot of packages. Maybe they like sunglasses, or whatever you’re situation is-“

“-I’m not selling anything, sir. I’m looking for Remus Duke.”

Turns out, this guy isn’t a salesman. He’s Detective Remy Dormir (idk, I got the name from a human!AU fanart), hired by Roman Hart to find his birth family. (He arranged for this a year before the Dukes moved back to Sanders Bay)

This eventually leads to the discovery that Remus Duke’s father, Romulus King, got a woman pregnant before his passing. By this time, his son Remus had moved far away and changed his name, never successful at pleasing the man.

So yeah, Roman and Remus are half brothers. Which means Virgil’s only friend in Sanders Bay is his half uncle, since Virgil is the biological son of Janus and Remus Duke.

Yeah, there’s no romance between Roman and Virgil. Sorry to disappoint you Roman/Virgil shippers. There’s nothing wrong with that ship, it just doesn’t work for this AU.

That’s all I have so far. If I find that I missed something, I’ll add it later.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remy sanders #I’m probably forgetting something #sanders sides au #sanders side fic #human au #family au

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

On Death's Doorstep (pt 39/?)

[<<First],,,,[<Prev],[Next>] [ODD Masterlist]

Word count: 1381

Rating: Teen

Pairings: familial Losleep, past Logan/ofc, minor Karrot Kings & Anxceit

Warnings: dysfunctional family dynamics, past character death, I may have killed the therapist but we’re still managing to work through some feelings, google translate Spanish

~~~START~~~

A lot was happening in a very small amount of time and Remy suspected another move was in her future. Virgil’s dads — who were really nice — had been moved into the building and were now living in Janus’s spare room; Patton's room was still technically Roman’s spare room, but he’d been sleeping downstairs with his grandpas for the past few days. It would make more sense for them to have their own floor, besides Remy had been living in Roman’s room on Roman’s floor essentially all by herself ever since Virgil left. 

Not that this really counted as living by herself, Barbra — who she wasn’t comfortable calling grandma just yet — or the twins, or Virgil’s dads were constantly popping in to check on her. Janus hadn’t been around much, and Remy knew they were up to something, but no one would tell her what it was.

She hadn’t seen Logan since the day after Virgil left, and she was perfectly content to go on not seeing him. 

But all good things — not that this was very good, it was neutral at best — must come to an end, and when Remy heard at knock at the door, she found that it had been Logan. 

“Remy,” Logan inclined his head, making no move to try to step past her into the apartment. 

“Logan.” Maybe she was imagining it, but she thought he winced at the use of his name. 

“You can’t hate me forever,” Logan stated, a faint undercurrent of anger coloring his voice. 

“Wanna bet?” Remy arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms. She had plenty of experience arguing with would-be father figures from arguing with Mike, Logan had no idea what he was in for. 

“I did not kill you–”

“You think that’s what I’m mad about?” Remy demanded, cutting him off vehemently. 

Logan frowned, attempting to push his glasses further up his nose despite the fact that they had not slipped down even a millimeter. 

“I do not see any other reason for your hostility towards me.”

“Estúpido!” Remy hissed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Completo idiota! Lo siguiente que me vas a decir es que no sabes de dónde vienen los bebés! Eres un genio, te apuesto–”

“El príncipe es estupido!” Logan interjected suddenly, completely derailing Remy’s train of thought as she struggled to figure out what that meant. 

“What?”

Logan’s gaze locked on the door hinges as he actually looked embarrassed for the first time since Remy had met him. 

“I–” he started, cutting himself off and starting again. “I am ashamed to admit that spoken languages have never been my strong suit, and even when I was living with your mother I never reached a level of fluency required to understand native speakers when they truly got going.”

“…so you told me that the prince is stupid?” Remy asked. Surely there was something she was missing that would make this whole interaction make sense, she just couldn’t see what it was. 

“Yes,” Logan agreed and refused to elaborate further. 

The two of them stood in awkward silence for a moment before Remy decided to bite the bullet. 

“So what happened?” She asked. “Between you and mom, I mean.”

“Your mother, as you likely know, does not like superpowers,” Logan started slowly. 

Remy nodded, her mom had never said as much — not to her anyway — but over the years she’d gotten the sense that Remy’s powers stressed her mom out quite a bit. The manner of Remy’s death probably hurt her almost as much as her actual death. 

“I was well aware of that while I was dating her, but as I had no intentions of becoming either a hero or a villain, I thought… perhaps I could be an exception.” Logan was clearly deeply uncomfortable with this conversation by the way he was twitching and shifting, but he continued. “I did not tell her that I had powers. One day, a month before your third birthday, she found me using my technokinesis in my workshop. She decided to leave and take you with her.”

“And what?” Remy demanded. “You just let her go? You didn’t want me?”

“Of course I wanted you!” Logan snapped. “But your mother wanted nothing to do with me! She threatened to turn me in to the authorities should I ever try to contact her or you again.”

“For having powers?” Remy asked. “That’s not a crime.”

“For selling my technology to supervillains.”

“Oh.”

All the fight drained out of Remy then, she was still angry, but she couldn’t exactly be upset at Logan for leaving if her mom had been the one to leave him. 

“Technokinesis sounds cool,” She said eventually, grimacing at the way Logan lit up at the clear opening. 

“Thank you. Successful inventions do require a knowledge base to build off of, but just allowing the technology to control itself does allow for some interesting experimentation. If you don’t mind me saying, I have noticed that you’ve added some interesting technology of your own to your repertoire.”

Remy shifted in embarrassment. “Yeah well… I just reverse engineered some shit I stole off of Gemini, which… were yours, weren’t they?”

“It was indeed my ‘shit’ that you got from Roman and Remus,” Logan preened. “I have been very impressed with your engineering talents; your ability to recreate and improve upon unfamiliar technology is astounding!”

“Uh, thanks,” Remy mumbled, not quite used to this level of excitement or encouragement from a parental figure. “Is that what you wanted to talk about? My ‘engineering talents’?”

“Ah, no,” Logan shifted from excited to almost embarrassed quickly. “I– I am aware that you are uncomfortable in my presence as I am your absentee father, as it were, and a supervillain, but I would like you to move in with me. On the top floor.”

Remy narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“For many reasons,” Logan replied, slipping into teacher-mode. “For one, you are a minor, and living by yourself would supply you with undue amounts of stress–”

“I’m seventeen,” Remy objected. “And I’m hardly living by myself.”

“For another thing,” Logan continued, heedlessly. “Janus has informed me that living with their pseudo in-laws is ‘incredibly awkward’, and moving the Flores-Sanderses and Patton to their own floor would benefit everyone involved immensely. And finally, I cannot live with my mother anymore, she is driving me up the wall, so to speak.”

“Babs?” Remy asked. “What’s wrong with Babs?”

Logan’s eyebrows twitched every time Remy called his mom “Babs”, but he declined to comment on the use of the nickname. “As I’m sure you are aware by now, my mother is clairvoyant. I do not appreciate my every thought being taken as an invitation to have a conversation. I love my mother very much, but living with her is an exhausting exercise in control.” 

Remy couldn’t help the way her lips twitched into a smirk. 

“It is not funny!” Logan snapped. “I am a grown man, I do not need my mother weighing in on my dietary decisions!”

“That’s rough, buddy,” Remy deadpanned. 

“Do not think I don’t recognize an Avatar quote when I hear one, my brother was quite a fan of cartoons and he was very insistent that I watch that particular one with him. He said I was very much like Sokka and was adamant that there were many important lessons to be learned from the program.”

“He sounds smart,” Remy commented, well aware that the twins claimed Logan was reluctant to talk about Emile Picani. 

“He was very smart,” Logan agreed with a far off look in his eyes. “His methods were unconventional, but effective nonetheless. He would have been an exceptional therapist, or anything else he set his mind to.”

Remy shifted uncomfortably, she knew what was coming, but she still couldn’t quite believe it when the words slipped past her lips. “I’ll move in with you.”

“…really?” Logan asked incredulously. “You do not need to decide right away.”

“No I– I’m sure. After all, someone needs to save you from living with your mom well into your seventies.”

“I am not in my seventies,” Logan frowned. 

“Not yet,” Remy teased, relishing the way Logan’s frown deepened. 

He wasn’t ‘dad’, not yet, but so far, he was a vast improvement on Mike. 

~~~END~~~

It’s been three months since the last time I posted a chapter 😅 I had a two-ish month writing slump that I’ve finally managed to work through, plus

It’s the TWO YEAR anniversary of ODD!!!

ODD taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling @lost-in-thought-20 @remy-the-lemon-berry @jinxcrafter @apinkline2715 @gothfoxx @donutsarepartybagels @xoaningout @meganmoneky14 @lunatatic

#ts sanders sides #sanders sides #logan sanders #remy sanders #on death’s doorstep #superhero au #thursday writes #my writing #sanders sides fanfiction

[muppenthings]

The final part of the Sanders Sides "Giant merman" au story. It is the end of the au.

First -- Previous

CWs: while everything is kept very brief the story does mention abandonment, injury, person being called monster, mentions of self-neglect, kidnapping, being tied up, and death.

Part 4

On the local morning news, a cargo ship was reported to have had an unfortunate run in with a supposed whale; the hull dented, propeller and rudder smashed. The ship drifted at sea before it was successfully towed back to safety by the coast guard.

Logan chokes on his morning coffee. No way a whale could manage that. And with the state of mind that Virgil left the beach in… Logan worries Virgil’s gotten hurt.

He calls Janus. There’s a long pause. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. We’ve got him.” And he hangs up. Leaving Logan even more jarred. He tries calling him again, but he’s been blocked.

Roman calls him next, having seen the news too (Patton is still sleeping cause he’s not a morning person). They both rush to Patton’s place, calling in to get the day off their respective work.

The trio then tries to figure out what to do. Janus had straight up told them that the company had Virgil. So, he was at a mainland harbor or something similar. Did he go willingly? Only one way to make sure. They find a map and start plotting, locating all possible harbors. They’re not abandoning their friend! Meanwhile Logan feels responsible and quite guilty.

Scene changes to a mainland harbor, where the company is keeping Virgil.

Janus is staring up at his sleeping form, his gaze travels to the side of his tail, a large gash adorning it. An injury likely from smashing the cargo ship’s propeller. He’d call for someone to look at it. 

One of his team members walks up to him. Janus asks if the sedatives shouldn’t have worn off by now.

The former shrugs. Probably. The mer was exhausted before so he’s probably just catching up on some Z’s.

Janus frowns. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go.

Part 5

Flashback to before the capture:

Janus had explained to the company board about the three friends and his own plan of the giant coming willingly. They had agreed to it.

Since they already had placed a tracker on the giant, they were confident that the giant wouldn’t escape even if he declined the offer. ((Virgil must drink freshwater, there’s a stream that he frequents on the mainland. The “tracking team” could easily figure it out and wait for him to visit it, thus plant a tracker from afar on him.))

But the board had completely lost their cool after hearing that the mer had attacked a ship; Seeing the tracker’s location along with the location of the cargo ship… They put two and two together. (The company has their own ship at sea, keeping an ear on the marine radio channels. Just in case) 

The board gives the instruction to just go ahead with plan B; which is to sedate the mer and tow him into their harbor. The mer was growing too unpredictable for their liking, it’d be safer for everyone to just bring him in. What they’d do with the mer was still being discussed.

Janus opposes but the plan is already set in motion during the early morning.

While he waits for his team to bring the sleeping mer in, he receives a phone call from Logan; talking about the cargo ship on the news, worrying about Virgil. Janus tells him not to worry about Virgil anymore; they’ve got him. He then blocked his number; the three didn’t need to be weighed by company business anymore. Janus may also be a bit salty because the trio didn’t keep him updated on Virgil’s status; they didn’t hold their part of their deal so he’s not keeping his.

End flashback.

Part 6

When Virgil wakes up, he’s not very cooperative. He’s tied up, confused, scared and angry all rolled up in one. He refuses to let anyone approach or tend to his injured tail. So Janus does a “villain speech” and basically shoulders the full responsibility for Virgil’s capture (he’d rather have the mer angry with him only so that his team could tend to his injuries and hopefully feed him). This allows his team to work better with the mer, but Janus isn’t having a good time.

A week passes

Somewhere during this, Virgil learns about the fate of the researcher that created him. The person he viewed as a parent, that he still views as a parent. Learning that she unfortunately died in an accident shocks him, but there’s also relief in knowing that she never abandoned him. That he was never an unwanted creature; she was going to come back to him. He starts bawling; for the loss of a parent, for the years of solitude, for being stuck in a place with unknown people, for attacking the ship. And above all, missing his humans. 

Virgil is so miserable. Janus considers contacting the trio again as it’s just not working. What Janus doesn’t know is that Logan, Roman and Patton have been scouting all possible harbors where Virgil might be kept. 

The trio ends up finding the harbor just as Janus gets the green light to get the trio involved again. He calls Logan, the ringtone echoing loudly in the back area, effectively getting them “caught”.

Virgil initially doesn’t want to greet them, recalling his actions towards Logan on the beach prior. But the two have a heart to heart and reconcile. Logan also addresses his guilt from not noticing the bad state Virgil was in.

Everyone has a talk. It’s eventually decided that Virgil can swim freely in the ocean again and spend time with Logan, Patton and Roman like they used to. But he has to return to the harbor for health checkups and to eat; so he doesn’t impact the area's ecosystem as much by staying in it.

In the end, Virgil is free and can spend his time with the people that he loves. He mends things with Janus too. Getting another human friend. And they lived happily ever after. :)

#giant merman au #ts Logan #ts Patton #ts Roman #ts Janus #ts Virgil #sanders sides au #This is the last of the story as promised! #It wraps up the au and I won't make anything in the future with it! #Thanks for the interest and love during the years!! <3

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Hope With Me

Author’s Note: So hey!  I did a Big Bang this year, run by the blog @ts-storytime!  This work has been a while in the making, and I’m super proud of how it turned out!  Thanks so much to @vanilla-bean-buttercream for the amazing art, and a huge thanks to @korruptbrekker for beta reading, and @hit-or-mish for being my cheerleader, this story would not exist without you.

Summary: 

“Two weeks,” Patton said, holding out his hand. “And if I can’t prove to you that there’s good in humanity, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Or you could leave me alone right now,” Janus said, giving him a deadpan look.

“I could,” Patton said.  “But then I’ll just go on thinking I’m right, and you’ll never have another chance to prove me wrong, now will you?” He smiled, like he thought he had him.

…And dammit, he did.

“Come on Janus,” Patton said, smiling warmly, and stretching out his hand a little more.  “Come find hope with me.”

...

Janus met Patton by getting coffee spilled all over his favorite yellow jacket.  He hadn’t really been having a stellar day beforehand, but it hadn’t been awful until a stranger slammed into him and spilled hot coffee all over the jacket Virgil had given him.  Understandably, that made his day much worse, and what happened immediately after didn’t exactly improve things.

“Oh my goodness!” called the person who’d just spilled his coffee on him.  “I’m so sorry!  That was burning, oh my— come with me!”

Before Janus could protest, or ask his name, or wonder if this was an only slightly clever way to kidnap people, Patton had pulled out a key and dragged him over to a nearby cafe, opening the door and pulling Janus in after him.

“I know one of the baristas who works here, so I can get in the back,” the person said.  “They have some stain remover, but we have to move fast.  Hi, I’m Patton.”

“Hi, I’m incredibly annoyed,” Janus deadpanned.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry!” Patton dragged him into the back with a quick wave at the barista who was working.  He grabbed Janus’ jacket off his shoulders without asking his permission and took it over to the large sink that was probably for washing dishes.

“We’re lucky we were right here, huh,” Patton said, as he scrubbed at the stain in the jacket.  “It could have been worse if we weren’t.”

“Or you could have not spilled your coffee on me,” Janus said, rolling his eyes.

“I think I’ve almost got the stain out,” Patton said as if that made up for it.  “Okay, I’m gonna let it soak in the water for a minute, and then you should be good.  You might still want to take it home and wash it.”

“Oh sure, no problem, it’s not like I was on the way to work or anything,” Janus said, crossing his arms.  Well, he hadn’t been, but if he could make this person more guilty for inconveniencing him, he was going to do it.

Sure enough, Patton gave him a guilty smile.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “Can I make it up to you?  I’ll take you shopping for a new jacket.”

“You can’t replace that jacket so easily,” Janus snapped.

“Oh no, does it have sentimental value?”

“No,” Janus lied.  “It just costs more than your house.”

“I didn’t realize there was a jacket that exists that costs more than a house,” Patton said in surprise.  “Well, I am a pretty good thrifter.  I don’t think I could get one that costs that much, but I could probably get you one that looks similar.”

“Forget it,” Janus said.  “Just give it to me and get out of my hair.”

“Okay,” Patton said, pulling the sopping wet jacket out of the water and passing it over to Janus.  Sure enough, the stain was pretty much gone.  And if Janus took it home and put it in the wash right away, it would most likely be gone entirely.

“I’m so sorry,” Patton said.

“Whatever,” Janus said, deciding that would be that and he would like to never have to see this person ever again.

So much for a walk to try and make this day a little more bearable.

He expected the event was a freak incident, and that would be the last he’d ever see of Patton, so for the next couple days, he didn’t think of him at all.

But naturally, fate could never be so kind to him as to let that be the end of it, and as he was finishing eating at his favorite restaurant one night later that week, he heard:

“Oh, hey, you got the stain out!”

Janus took a brief moment to look up at the ceiling and curse everything in his life that had led him to this moment, before Patton walked around the side of the table and grinned down at him.

“I’m so glad,” he said.

“Great.  I’m so glad you can wipe your conscience clean of that horrible event.  Please go away.”

“Oh, let me do something else to make it up to you,” Patton said for some reason.  “Here, I’ll buy you dinner.”

Then, as if the universe wanted to gift wrap chances for Patton to stroke his ego, Janus’ waiter approached with his check.

Patton gave Janus a look, asking permission.  Well, Janus wasn’t going to turn down a chance for a moron to cover his bill just because of pride.  He waved his hand at Patton.

Patton smiled and turned back to the waiter.  “I’ll be taking that,” he said, and the waiter gave him a slightly surprised look before handing him the check.

Patton pulled out a debit card and handed it back to the waiter with the check, and then the waiter turned back around.  This was around the time Janus realized this might have been a mistake, because Patton turned to face him like he was allowed to talk to him.

“I’m glad this all worked out,” he said with a bright smile.  “I don’t think I ever caught your name.”

“I didn’t throw it,” Janus said coolly.

“Oh, I gotcha,” Patton said, apparently stupid enough to not realize Janus was trying to be rude.  He apparently also had no qualms about being rude back, because he just kept smiling at Janus expectantly.

Finally, Janus sighed.  “Janus,” he said.

Patton startled for a second, but before Janus could try and figure out what that meant, he went right back to smiling.

“Well it’s so lovely to meet you, Janus!” he said, beaming at him as if this was a conversation between friends and not him rudely interrupting what peace Janus had.  “I’m glad things ended up working out with your jacket.  So you like this restaurant, huh?”

“I’m sorry,” Janus said, full on glaring at him now.  “You seem to have mistaken this for a conversation I want to be having.”

Patton’s smile faded.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to interrupt you.  You were just sitting here all alone and I thought you might want someone to talk to.”

“Why would I want that?” Janus snapped.  “I wanted to have a meal that I enjoy, alone, to try and make my evening less miserable than it would have been otherwise.”

Patton’s looked turned rather curious in the next second, and for some reason, also slightly concerned.

“Oh, well I’m sorry you weren’t having a good day,” Patton said.

“There’s no such thing.  Now we’re going to sit here in silence until the waiter comes back with your card, and then you’re going to get out and leave me to try and salvage my night.”

Patton, for some reason, still didn’t look at all offended, instead just curious with that tinge of concern.  But after a second, he nodded, and they both sat there in silence until the waiter came back a couple minutes later.  And finally, Patton stood up and left.

And now Janus would never see him again, and he could be all the happier for it.

…

“Hi there,” came a familiar voice, and Janus groaned and dropped his head against the paperwork he’d come to the library to try to read.

He didn’t bother to look up or give any other kind of acknowledgment, but Patton sat down anyway.

“How are you, Janus?” Patton asked the top of his head.

“I’m much worse than I was three seconds ago,” Janus said into his papers.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.  I have a bet for you.”

That was enough to get Janus to pull his head up and stare at Patton.  “What?”

“A bet,” Patton said brightly as if it was the most normal thing in the world to make a bet with a practically-stranger.

“A bet?”

“Mm-hmm.  Are you able to take a vacation anytime soon?”

“Why in the world would I tell you that?”

“You don’t have to.  But if it’s soon, I’d like to take you on a road trip with me.”

“Of course,” Janus said.  “What a brilliant idea that will in no way get me tossed unconscious into the back of a van.”

Patton laughed, bright and clear.  “I understand,” he said.  “We don’t have to go immediately.  You can also take a seperate car if that’ll make you feel safer.  And I’d be happy to get to know you first if that will make you more comfortable.”

“Why would you want to go on a road trip with a total stranger in the first place?” Janus asked.

“You’re not a total stranger, I’ve talked to you twice,” Patton said.  “And that’s where the bet comes in.”

“What bet?” Janus asked despite himself.

“I bet that if you give me two weeks, I can prove to you that there’s hope humanity has good worth fighting for,” Patton said.

Janus couldn’t help it, he laughed.  “What?”

But Patton didn’t take it back, or reveal the joke, or do anything other than keep smiling at Janus.

“Wait you… you’re serious?” Janus asked, his smile fading slightly.

Patton nodded.

“You want to take me on a road trip to show me that there’s good in humanity.”

“Yes, I do,” Patton said.

“Why the hell would you want to do that?”

“You seem unhappy,” Patton said.  “And I want to help.”

“What?  Why?  How would you know I’m unhappy, you’ve had two conversations with me.”

Patton’s smile turned warm.  “You remind me of a very close friend of mine,” he said.  “And he acted very similar to you when I met him.  And he was in a dark place too.”

Janus stared at Patton for a second, not sure what to say to that.  Patton was clearly a stupid naive man who needed to grow up and see the world for what it was.  And he could potentially ask for two weeks off starting soon.

He shook his head.  Now he was being stupid.

“If I win,” Patton said, like he could see Janus’ internal conflict.  “You have to come meet my close friend with me.”

Janus blinked.  “What?  That’s what you want?”

“That’s what I want,” Patton confirmed.

“And what if I win?” Janus said.

“Well, what do you want?”

“I just want you to leave me alone,” Janus said in bafflement.

Patton smiled slightly, seeming almost amused.  “Fair enough,” he said.  “Then that’s what you get.”

Janus stared at him for another moment.  “You’re… you’re actually serious about this.”

Patton smiled, but didn’t reply, which meant he actually was.

“I can’t believe this,” Janus said, shaking his head slightly.

Patton pulled one of Janus’ blank notebook pages over towards him and wrote down a phone number.  “There you go.  You can text that when you know when you’re free.”  He stood back up and faced Janus with another bright smile.

“Two weeks,” Patton said, holding out his hand.  “And if I can’t prove to you that there’s good in humanity, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Or you could leave me alone right now,” Janus said, giving him a deadpan look.

“I could,” Patton said.  “But then I’ll just go on thinking I’m right, and you’ll never have another chance to prove me wrong, now will you?”  He smiled, like he thought he had him.

…And dammit, he did.

“Come on Janus,” Patton said, smiling warmly, and stretching out his hand a little more.  “Come find hope with me.”

“Never,” Janus said, but Patton didn’t move.

Finally, Janus sighed, acknowledging that he was probably being stupid, and reached out and shook Patton’s hand.  “Deal.”

…

They wouldn’t go right away.  For one, Janus had to ask before he took two weeks off of work.  And two, he was absolutely going to meet Patton in a few more crowded well-lit places first before climbing into a car with him for two weeks.

But eventually, enough time had passed that Janus satisfied himself with the fact that Patton was just an idiot, and not an idiotic serial killer.  And that meant Janus got to spend two weeks proving to him what an idiot he was, and he was starting to very much look forward to that.

They were apparently going to start by flying out west, to see some of the landscapes out there and make their first intentional stop at the Grand Canyon.  And then Patton would rent a car and they’d spend the rest of the two weeks stopping at places he seemed to have in mind as they drove back.

Janus didn’t know what exactly the Grand Canyon had to do with finding good in humanity, but he still found himself sitting in a plane next to Patton and preparing to spend the next four and a half hours reading and decidedly ignoring him.  At least Patton had given him a window seat.

“So, I got us a hotel there,” Patton said as they sat down.  “We’ll have it for two nights, because I booked us a sunset tour around the canyon.  Then we’re gonna head to Utah to visit Zion National Park and do some stargazing.”

“You know we don’t have to talk for this part, right?” Janus asked, not looking up from his book.

“I’m just explaining to you where we’re going.  I figured you’d want to know,” Patton said brightly, like Janus’ blatant rudeness didn’t bother him.

“I don’t particularly care, actually.  It’s not like I’ll enjoy any of them.”

“You’re sure?  The Grand Canyon really lives up to the hype, you know.”

“You’ve been before?” Janus asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“A couple times.”

“How much money do you have?”

“I got some money when my Aunt Patty died.  She was pretty well off.”

“So you were a rich kid then,” Janus muttered, turning back to his book.

“Did I say that?”

“I don’t really care,” Janus said, blocking out Patton’s voice so he could focus on his book.  Thankfully, Patton seemed satisfied with leaving him alone.  Or at least, that’s what he thought was happening, but after Janus haphazardly pulled out some gum to chew when the plane started taking off, Patton tapped his arm excitedly.

“Hey, look.”

“I’m alright.”

“You don’t want to watch us take off?”

“Not particularly.”

“It’s not much of a bet if you’re refusing to participate, you know.”

“You’re not likely to win my good will if you force me to do things I don’t want to, you know,” Janus said, but he put his book down anyway and looked out his window.

It’s not like he hadn’t ridden in a plane before, he knew there was something to be said for a view from thousands of feet in the air.  But that was also just sort of common sense, or something he could watch on YouTube if he really wanted to.

Still, he supposed the view was alright.

He spent most of the flight reading, or half watching the in-flight movie that was playing.  Patton spent the time writing something down, reading a book of his own, or looking out the window over Janus’ shoulder.

At one point not long before they were supposed to land, he turned to Janus.  “Do you want to say anything to my friend?”

Janus stared at him.  “Why in the world would I want to say anything to your friend?”

“I told him I’m going on a trip with you, and I said I was gonna write him and his little brother some letters.  I want to know if you want him to know anything about you.”

“Ah, yes, as a matter of fact, let me start with where it all went wrong in my life.”

“Okay,” Patton said, smiling like for some baffling reason he thought Janus was serious.

“This is going to be a long two weeks, isn’t it,” Janus said, leaning his chin over onto his hand.

A second later the intercom came on saying they would start their descent soon.  Small mercies, he supposed.

…

Janus had seen quite a few sunsets before in his life, but he’d always sort of imagined seeing one over the ocean would have a different kind of effect.  And now he was wondering if it would be something like this.

Patton, not that he would ever admit it, had been right.  This did live up to the hype.  Janus almost couldn’t comprehend so much space, and all right in front of him.

There were a couple of clouds that the sun was setting into, which Janus actually appreciated, as they were preventing the sun from shining right in his eyes.

“I took my friend and his little brother here when I first met them,” Patton said, from his spot sitting next to Janus on the rocks they were perched on.  “We make an annual trip now.”

“Why exactly do you keep bringing them up?” Janus asked, glaring over at him.  “And why exactly are you talking at all?”

“Well, I figured it would be fair if you know a little about my friend before you meet him.”

“I’m not going to meet him.”

“You are if I win the bet, silly,” Patton said.  “Besides, I told you.  You remind me of my friend when I first met him.  I brought him and his little brother here because it seemed like they both needed something to live for.”

Janus rolled his eyes and looked back out at the sunset like that was ridiculous.

But though he wouldn’t say it, he was thinking that he kind of got how this would do it.

Patton pulled out his phone after a second and took a couple pictures of the sunset.  Janus wanted to ask him to send them to him.  He wouldn’t, obviously.

“Does it ever get old?” he asked after a second.

“Coming back here?” Patton asked.  “Nah.”

“Really?”

“I might not come as often if I lived closer,” Patton said with a shrug.  “But I live in Florida, so no, I don’t think once a year will ever get old to me.”

Janus looked back out across the canyon.  The sun was just about to drop below the horizon, but apparently it had decided to paint fire across the sky first.  Janus crossed his arms over his chest and watched it.  And for once, Patton didn’t say anything to ruin the moment.

For the next half hour or so, they sat in silence, and Janus took the time to breathe without really thinking of much.  It had been a while since he’d been on a vacation.  And just because this one’s premise had been so firmly rooted in stupidity didn’t mean he wasn’t going to enjoy it.  The main thing was just not letting Patton know he was enjoying it.

It seemed to take forever for the sun to actually sink below the horizon, but eventually darkness began to settle in, as well as a chill with it that had been less noticeable with the sunset as a distraction.

“Alright,” Patton said, seeming to notice.  “We’ll rest tonight and have a day to do whatever we want tomorrow.  The bus routes are very nice, I recommend doing a couple.  And then we can get some food at this Mexican place I like in town, if you like Mexican food.”

Janus shrugged.  “You’re the one who’s picking all the destinations,” he said.

“The larger ones,” Patton agreed.  “You still get a say in what we eat and what we do at each one, Jan.”

“Please refrain from giving me nicknames,” Janus said without any comments about the activities Patton had suggested.  They both climbed up to where the guide for their tour had been watching slightly above them, and then towards the car to head back to the tour guide site.  Patton, surprisingly, didn’t talk on the way, instead just writing another letter for his friend.

It was only after they’d arrived back at the site and were heading to their car that Patton spoke.  “Do you want me to say anything about your thoughts?” he asked.

“Why would I want that?” Janus asked, giving Patton a look.

“Hey, just offering,” Patton said, tucking his letter and pen away.  “I can drive back, unless you want to?”

“I’m just a passenger on this trip,” Janus said, pulling his phone out.

“Fair enough,” Patton said, and that was thankfully the last thing he said.

…

The bus routes were slightly less of an amazement then the sunset, but that wasn’t exactly much of a letdown.  Janus’ favorite place where they stopped was called “The Abyss,” mostly because it made him think of Virgil and how much he would have loved being there just for the name.

Janus, despite himself, took quite a few pictures, but he still didn’t think they’d do it justice.  It was hard to capture on camera the sensation of feeling so small.

He did make sure that Patton didn’t notice, of course.  He had a reputation to uphold and, more importantly, a bet to win.  He’d just be slightly blown away by the scenery in front of him while wearing a totally blank face.

It seemed to fool Patton at least, though it didn’t take away from his own enjoyment because nothing seemed to.  He should probably try and come up with ways to spin this into a negative thing.  He could mention the number of people who’d died by falling off the edge, or the easy murder tactic that would be difficult to prove.  For some reason, though, he got the sense that Patton would be more bothered if he just pretended to be unaffected.

So, he marveled at the sight in front of him while making no commentary or showing no awe on his face whatsoever.

…And taking pictures.  But you couldn’t blame him for that.

At the end of the day, Janus was thoroughly exhausted, but not at all in an unpleasant way, and he crawled into bed surprisingly satisfied with the day he’d had.  And if this was the route Patton was planning on taking, Janus would win the bet for sure.

They woke up the next day with a fairly short drive ahead of them.  The distance from the Grand Canyon to Zion National Park, their next stop, was only about 2 hours, meaning they didn’t have to rush through anything while getting ready.

Unfortunately, the worst part was not getting ready or the distance of the drive.  It was the fact that Patton hummed while he drove.  He was currently in the middle of The Campfire Song Song from SpongeBob, and Janus was about at the end of his rope.

“Do you have to do that?” he snapped, and Patton glanced over at him.

“Do what?” he asked.

“The humming, for God’s sake.  And SpongeBob, really?”

“I find it helps the drive pass better than sitting in silence,” Patton said brightly, turning his gaze to the road.  “But my friend doesn’t like it either.  You have a lot in common, you know.”

“I am simply thrilled to hear that,” Janus muttered.

“Do you want me to say anything about The Grand Canyon to my friend?” Patton asked.  “Did you have a favorite stop?”

“I did not,” Janus lied, leaning against the window.

“Ah, I gotcha.  It’s hard for me to choose too,” Patton said.  He smiled upwards out of the windshield.  “Gosh, there’s so much sky out here!”

He wasn’t wrong.  There were long stretches of road with nothing blocking the sky whatsoever, and everything was so flat that you could see horizon to horizon.  Janus could almost picture himself happy living out here, if he could picture himself happy living anywhere.  It was just that gorgeous.

“Wow, you’re right,” he deadpanned anyway.  “What is this strange thing above me, I’ve never seen it before.  Look, it’s blue.”

“Oh come on, Janus,” Patton said.  “You live in Florida too, I know you know what I mean.  We don’t see sky like this.”

Janus sighed as if he was annoyed, but he was quiet for a few seconds afterwards.

“We don’t,” he admitted.  “I imagine the stargazing will be something.”

“Well, the stargazing might actually still be a little closer to what you’re used to in regards to amounts of sky, but don’t worry, we’ll be driving plenty at night if you want to see it like this.  Zion is still well worth it though.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Janus said coolly, looking at Patton out of the corner of his eye.

“Well of course you will, that’s what this whole trip is for,” Patton said cheerfully, as if Janus had just made a joke they were both in on.

Janus scoffed and looked out the window, and they both remained silent for a while after that.

…

For a second time, Patton was infuriatingly right.

Zion National Park was essentially a park full of mountains.  They were technically called ‘cliffs,’ but that didn’t seem accurate.  They were massive red structures that stretched into the sky above them, and there was a road through the main section of the park that they could drive through.  Every now and then Janus thought he’d stopped being amazed, but then they’d turn a corner or go through a tunnel and end up facing somehow larger and more gorgeous mountains than they’d seen before.

“We should reach the welcome center at the end of this road,” Patton said, who was somehow able to say anything when faced with all this.  “And that should be the area our campsite is in.”

Ah, yes, they were apparently camping for the night.  Janus would normally be irritated, but if it meant waking up to this the next morning, it might honestly be worth it.

Not that he’d say that to Patton, of course.  As far as he was concerned, the camping was inexcusable, which it would be 99% of the time.

This time, however, they were camping near a welcome center with indoor bathrooms and water, and also surrounded by insanely gorgeous mountains, so Janus would give it a pass.  (Begrudgingly.  In his head.)

They pulled into a parking lot at the end of the drive, and Patton headed to the trunk to pull the tent out.

“Would you mind helping me set up?” Patton asked.  “It’s difficult to do as one person.”

Janus considered that for a minute.  He could refuse just to show how little he was affected by everything they’d done so far, but that just seemed needlessly cruel, and a little petty.  He wasn’t necessarily opposed to doing things that were needlessly cruel and a little petty, but at this point it might just prove he had been affected by something Patton had done.  And he hadn’t been affected by any of it, of course.

So, he moved to help Patton carry the tent a short distance to a grassy area next to a stream, with other tents nearby.

It had been a very long time since Janus set up a tent, but he actually didn’t find it particularly difficult.  He could either blame it on muscle memory, or the fact that Remus wasn’t standing off to the side shouting dick jokes and distracting him and Virgil both.  One of those options made Janus look much better though.

“Thanks, you’re not bad at this,” Patton said, putting his hands on his hips as they both stood up to a completed tent.

“Muscle memory,” Janus said with a shrug.  “I have camped before, you know.”

Patton didn’t say anything to that, just went back to the car to get the box of food for dinner.  They ate a bunch of snacky foods for dinner, since neither of them were very adept at grilling and leaving to get food from a restaurant would, according to Patton at least, “ruin the mood.”

It was starting to get darker as they finished eating, and Patton grabbed a letter from the car to write to his friend as Janus grabbed one of the books he’d brought and sat down on the picnic table they’d eaten dinner at.  Small chatter came from the other groups around them as some people started fires and started making s’mores.

“You want to say anything to my friend?” Patton asked as he seemed to be finishing up the letter.

“Strangely, still no,” Janus said, giving him a look.  “Do you have to ask that every single time?”

“I do, and you can’t stop me,” Patton said with a bright smile.  “Give me just a sec, I’ll go grab the wood and we can light a fire.”

“We’re lighting a fire?”

“What’s the point of camping without s’mores, Janus?”

Janus scowled and turned back to his book before the light was gone from the sky.  Remus had a very similar outlook.  Janus had never felt particularly strongly about s’mores, and had only done them because Remus had enjoyed them.  He didn’t exactly care for them anymore.

It was apparently impossible to stop Patton when he’d decided on something however, because ten minutes later a fire was burning in their campfire’s pit, and Patton was laying the ingredients for s’mores out on the table.

“I don’t know about you, but personally I think the only proper way to do marshmallows for s’mores is to burn them,” Patton said, with a grin that looked slightly unsettling in the firelight.

“Sure, okay,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow and setting his book aside, as it was now too dark to read it.  “Whatever you prefer.”

“Do you want a burned one?”

“I’m not eating s’mores,” Janus said, rolling his eyes and rising to put his book back in the car.

“Oh, do you not like them?” Patton asked, seeming confused by the prospect, as if this was the first time he’d ever encountered differing food preferences.

“Not especially,” Janus said coolly.  “I’m sorry that ruins your plans so thoroughly.”

“Oh, it doesn’t,” Patton said, reaching to the side.  “Here, I’ll make some for me and you can just have a bar of chocolate all to yourself then.”

Janus scowled but snatched the chocolate.  He wasn’t going to turn it down, it was still chocolate.  He took his book back to the car and pulled out a blanket he’d been going to use for sleeping in the car but that he supposed he could use in a tent as well.

He sat on the picnic table bench next to the fire and listened to the sound of guitars and singing from groups nearby.

“I didn’t bring my guitar this time,” Patton said as if he could read Janus’ mind.  “Just cause we were going on such a long trip and there’s so much other stuff to bring.  But if you ever want to come back just here for a while, I could bring it.”

“I’m not going to see you again after I win this bet,” Janus said, giving Patton a deadpan look.

“Aww, I hope I can change your mind about that,” Patton said, giving Janus a smile before turning back to his s’mores.

Janus sat back and started listening to the music, and the people laughing around him, and the nighttime bugs starting to come out, and the crackling of the fires.  Patton sat back on the bench a second later, but didn’t say anything, just gave Janus a smile that Janus could barely see in the dark and sat back to listen to the sounds with him.

Eventually, Patton nudged him, and Janus gave him an irritated look, but Patton was looking up at the sky, so a second later Janus did the same.

The stars had started to come out, and even though they weren’t done doing so they were more stars than Janus saw unless he was out in the country.

“Wait a little bit,” Patton whispered.  “We should see the milky way.”

Janus didn’t know exactly how to feel about that, so he didn’t say anything.  Patton wasn’t wrong though.  As the sky got darker, the milky way became visible, and Janus couldn’t think of anything else to do other than sit back and stare at it, so that’s what he did.

“It’s something else, isn’t it,” Patton said quietly.

“Patton, shut up,” Janus said.  He meant it so he could keep looking, but Patton didn’t have to know that.

Patton chuckled a little bit, but said, “Okay,” and was quiet from that moment on.

Janus wasn’t sure when he went to bed that night, but he knew it was after quite a long time of just sitting and staring at the stars.

Finally though, he and Patton both headed back to the tent, and Janus was half asleep and he could tell Patton was too.

Janus got in the tent first and crawled into his sleeping bag, but Patton stayed just outside and kept looking at the sky for a second more.

“Now, I don’t know about you,” he said, glancing at Janus as he stepped inside the tent.  “But I can find some good in things like this.”

Janus blinked, startled by the fact that he’d forgotten for a moment the reason they were here.  He thought for a minute, but he didn’t have to think for long enough to make him nervous.

“That might be true,” he said, turning to face the other side of the tent.  “But it doesn’t get you any closer to winning the bet.”

“It doesn’t?” Patton asked, sounding surprised for the first time, and Janus smirked, enjoying the slight victory.  “Why not?”

Janus rolled over again to face Patton as he finished zipping up the tent and started for his sleeping bag.

“Because the point of this is supposed to involve finding good in humanity,” he said.  “And looking at beautiful landscapes and spectacles of nature might be rather amazing, but it doesn’t say anything about humanity.”

“I think it says something about humanity that we’ve specifically put laws in place to protect places like this,” Patton said.

Janus scoffed.  “The environment is constantly in danger from humans,” he said.  “Even national parks aren’t guaranteed safety if the wrong person ends up in charge.  These are only here for as long as humanity deems them worthy.  And humanity definitely isn’t good enough to do that.  You’re going to have to try a little harder than this.”

And with that, he turned back around and laid down again.  He had almost fallen asleep when he heard Patton say, quietly, “Fair enough.”

…

They were apparently done with the national parks.  Janus put on a mocking tone, but he wasn’t completely faking his disappointment.  Despite himself, he had enjoyed going to see beautiful places with Patton.  It was enjoyable, if obviously temporary and wholly unrelated to the bet they’d made.

But instead, the following day Patton woke him up early and said they were going to Lagoon Amusement Park on the other side of the state, which was a very hard shift in tone, at least in Janus’ opinion.

Patton seemed to at least be aware of this, so before they went there, they stopped for breakfast in a busier city, just to get used to more people around.

“We should get some ice cream too,” Patton said as they got back in the car.  “You want to get some after the amusement park, or before?”

“Getting it after will be cheaper,” Janus pointed out.  “Everything in amusement parks costs more than it should.”

“Maybe, but I’m handling the money so don’t worry about it,” Patton said.  “Just let me know if you see something you want to try.”

They got to Lagoon Amusement Park at around 10:00, and got into the park after buying the tickets about a half hour later.  At that point they still had a while before either of them would want lunch, so Janus immediately got them in line for a roller coaster called Wicked, because he had a theme to stick with here.

The line was pretty long for the time it took to ride the actual coaster, but it was fast and just as fun as riding a roller coaster usually was.  Janus hadn’t really had expectations in coming here, but it seemed like they were just going to an amusement park.  It was fun, but he wasn’t sure what exactly he was supposed to be learning about humanity from it.

Either way, Patton seemed content to let him pick everything they were doing, so Janus picked some coasters that looked interesting and just sat back to enjoy the ride.  They hadn’t ridden everything that caught his eye by the time they got lunch, but his favorites so far were two coasters called Colossal the Fire Dragon, which rode up against the ground in a very adrenaline-inducing way, and an older one that was just called Roller Coaster, which Patton spent the walk to lunch coming up with better names for.

The lunch itself was just amusement park food, in that it was ridiculously overpriced chicken strips and fries, but it fit the mood rather well, and Patton didn’t seem to mind, so Janus wasn’t going to say anything about it.

They went on a water ride called Rattlesnake Rapids after lunch, since it was starting to get hotter, and there was a waterfall at the end that Janus very decidedly ignored the “stay seated” rule to make sure he was under as they passed.

He let Patton pick what they were doing next, which he immediately recognized as a mistake when Patton wanted to go on the teacups, but it was too late to take it back now.

“This was my favorite ride as a kid,” Patton said, spinning the wheel slightly as Janus leaned back and very much did not.  “It’s nice to bask in the nostalgia for a little bit, you know?”

“I can certainly understand wanting to lie to yourself by pining after an existence that no longer exists anymore,” Janus said, giving Patton a deadpan look.  He expected the other to protest, or get even a little irritated and say that’s not what he meant.

Instead, Patton tipped his head slightly and smiled knowingly.  “Oh, can you?”

Janus coughed slightly in surprise, staring at Patton for a second.  But the latter simply turned back to spinning the wheel again.  After a second, just to get rid of the awkward tension, Janus did the same.

“What’s so great about nostalgia anyway?” he muttered.  “I wouldn’t think you go to amusement parks to bask in nostalgia.”

“Mm, maybe not,” Patton agreed, “but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a sad thing.  I like to think that sometimes nostalgia can remind you of the good times you had.  You just have to be careful to not get stuck in it.”

He sounded like that was something he was familiar with, but Janus didn’t get time to point that out, as the ride was ending.

A second after it did Patton stood up, holding his hand out to Janus.  “Let’s go on the Cannibal ride.  I’ve heard good things.”

“Back to coasters, are we?” Janus asked, ignoring Patton’s hand and stepped out of the car himself.

“Well, that’s the main reason we’re here, isn’t it?” Patton said with a smile.

They headed out the exit gate and Patton pointed out the sign that was leading to Cannibal, so they both headed that direction.

“You know,” Patton said as they walked.  “You don’t have to try to ruin a good time.”

Janus scowled at him.  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“I didn’t feel at all sad about riding the teacups until you tried to make it that way,” Patton said, giving him a look.

Despite himself, Janus winced inwardly.  “I… wasn’t trying to make you sad,” he admitted.

“It’s okay,” Patton said, smiling again, seeming to show it had passed.  “But that can happen when you try to intentionally ruin the fun.  And I think you’re missing the point of this.”

Janus scowled again, irritated by Patton thinking he’d managed to call him out on something.  “And what’s the point, exactly?”

“The point is fun,” Patton said, like that should be obvious.  “We’re just having fun today.  It doesn’t have to be something you’re lying to yourself to achieve, and you don’t have to be repressing anything.  You can just have fun, Janus.”  He smiled warmly.  “I mean, that’s the point of amusement parks, isn’t it?  They’re a place humans made to come have fun.”

Janus didn’t know quite what to say to that.  “That’s moronic,” he went with finally.

“Suit yourself,” Patton said with a look.  “Just know that you’re the one ruining it for both of us, then.”

Janus huffed and crossed his arms, but infuriatingly, Patton had a point.  He wasn’t going to let go of his pride that easily, but he had a point.

“Janus,” Patton said, as they approached the start line for Cannibal.

Janus turned to glare at him again, but surprisingly he didn’t find Patton smiling again.  Instead, he looked slightly concerned, his brows furrowed.

“You do know that I’m not going to think less of you if you admit to enjoying yourself, right?” Patton said.  A second later he smiled again, but it wasn’t his bright one.  Instead, it was soft, and something in Janus… didn’t hate it, no matter how much he wanted to.

He still scowled and looked away, but by the time they actually made it to the front of the ride, he’d decided to maybe let himself enjoy it.

You know.  As long as Patton didn’t see.

…

In the last half hour before the park closed, they ended up getting ice cream from a place called PV’s Ice Cream Parlor and sitting on a park bench to relax as the day came to a close.

“Tomorrow we’re going to be driving a little ways,” Patton said.  “The main attraction is a dinner at this restaurant run by a friend of mine, but it’s in Kansas.  It’s about a twelve hour drive.”

“We can take shifts then,” Janus said before he could think about it too much.

Patton gave him a surprised look.  “You sure?”

“I’m not going to make you drive for twelve hours straight, Patton,” Janus said, giving him a look.

“Well I couldn’t even if I wanted too,” Patton said, giving Janus a teasing grin.  “I could only drive twelve hours gay.”

“Nevermind, now you’re driving the full twelve hours.”

Patton laughed, and Janus scowled to cover up the sudden warmth in his chest.

“Thank you Janus,” he said with a warm smile.  “I appreciate it.”

Patton finished his ice cream first, and then reached into the bag he’d brought into the park and pulled out a piece of paper that he started writing on, likely another letter to his friend.

“Do you want to say anything?” Patton asked as he wrote.

“No, Patton, I never do, and I never will,” Janus said in exasperation.  “Why are you writing letters in the first place, don’t you have a phone?”

“My friend said he wanted a record to keep of my experiences with you on this trip,” Patton said.

“You… why?”

Patton laughed a little.  “It’s very on brand for him, actually.  I think he’s looking forward to seeing you.”

“He’s never even met me.”

“He can’t be looking forward to it?” Patton asked, giving Janus a brief look before turning back to his letter.

“I think it’s a little strange,” Janus said.

Patton just hummed thoughtfully and kept on writing.

Janus finished his ice cream around the time that the announcements came on telling people they were closing, so he and Patton both headed for the exit.

“The hotel isn’t far from here, I think,” Patton said.  “But I’ve never been there before, so I might need directions.”

“What’s the address?” Janus asked, pulling out his phone.  Patton gave it, and he typed it in, and a couple minutes later they were on the way there.

Patton’s habit of humming to himself as he drove was apparently a regular thing, which was incredibly annoying, obviously, but Janus was finding it surprisingly less annoying than it had been on the drive away from Zion.  It must be the different tone of the day.  Yeah, that was it.

But when they got to the hotel and checked in, Patton seemed like he was slowing down, and though it was probably just the exhaustion of a very long day, it still caught Janus’ attention.

Patton changed in the bathroom once they got in their room so Janus could change outside and climb into bed, and when he came out Janus set down the book he was reading and turned to face him.  “Patton?”

“Yes?” Patton asked, turning to face him.

“I feel like it’s important to state that it’s also okay to be sad,” Janus said, and Patton blinked at him for a minute as he climbed under the covers of his own bed.

“I don’t mean that…” Janus paused, trying to figure out how to phrase his words in a way that would make clear that he wasn’t saying Patton was right about anything.

“I hope you know that it’s okay to be sad sometimes,” he ended on.  “You don’t always have to be fine.”

Patton seemed to get what he meant, and he smiled warmly.  “I know,” he said.  “Really, I do.  I’ve been called out on that quite a few times, actually.  It’s something I’m working on.  But I know it’s okay to be sad.  It’s just a matter of reminding myself sometimes.”

Janus nodded, satisfied enough at that.  “Okay.  Well it really is.  I’m not going to think any less of you for being sad.  Not that—” he cleared his throat and looked away.  “Not that I think highly of you, or anything.  I don’t.”

Patton didn’t say anything for long enough that Janus thought the conversation ended, and picked up his book to go back to reading.

A second later Patton clicked off his lamp.  “Thank you, Janus,” he said softly.

Janus didn’t respond.

…

“So it’s a restaurant your friends own?” Janus asked, turning down the street Patton pointed at.

“Yep!  It’s technically a wedding cake shop, but they serve food too.  They don’t technically serve dinner, but Roman likes me.”

“So is one of these people the friend you keep writing to?” Janus asked.

“Nope, they’re different ones.  The friend I’m writing to lives back in Florida with us.  I’ve known Roman since college, though.  He was my roommate.  He and Thomas have been dating almost as long.”

“Mm.  They okay?  Just living here and all that?”

“Oh, yeah.  Things have gotten better in the years since they started their shop.  It’s not like they don’t get some hateful people every now and then, but where don’t you?  And they love it here.”

Janus hummed again in acknowledgement and turned again when Patton said to.

“You can park here,” he said, pointing over at the side of the road.  “The shop is at the end of this street.”

Janus pulled over, turned off the car, and leaned back with a sigh.

“Oh, I know, right?” Patton said, stretching his arms over his head.  “We’re gonna stay here for tomorrow too, just so we don’t have to drive anywhere.”

“Good,” Janus muttered, climbing out of the car so he could stretch too.

“We’ve got about half an hour before I told Roman we’d show up, you want to walk around for a bit?” Patton asked.

“Yes I do,” Janus said, heading over to the sidewalk and looking around for the first time without having to focus on the roads.

Hays wasn’t a major area, but there were still quite a few people around, meaning the two of them ended up sticking close together just so they wouldn’t lose each other.  They were close to a lot of stores, so they ended up window shopping for fifteen minutes or so before heading back the way they came.  Janus didn’t see anything he particularly liked, but the experience was enjoyable enough.

As they approached the shop Patton said was Roman’s, Patton seemed to light up, and Janus wondered for a moment if he was this excited to see all of his friends.  By the time they reached the door, Patton pushed it open practically beaming.

“Roman!” he called, and the person behind the counter glanced up with a grin of his own.

“Patton!” he called, and set aside the frosting he was using in order to run around the counter and pick Patton up and spin him around.

Patton laughed as he did, and got squeezed in a hug once he was set down.

“It’s so good to see you,” Patton said, beaming up at Roman.  “It’s been way too long!”

“It has,” Roman agreed, letting go with a wide smile before turning to face Janus.  “So is this the famous Janus I’ve heard about?”

Janus scowled, glaring slightly at Patton.  “How many of your friends have you told about me?”

“I told Roman and Thomas because we were coming here, silly,” Patton said.  “I didn’t want to show up out of nowhere with someone they’d never met before.”

“And I’d watch your tone to my Patton,” Roman said, giving Janus a warning look.  “If you hurt him you’re gonna have a lot of angry people to deal with.”

“Roman,” Patton said, crossing his arms.  “I can handle myself.”

“I would never imply you couldn’t,” Roman said with a smile at Patton.  “That’s not going to stop any of us from being angry, though.”

Janus scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Roman gave him another look, but turned to head back behind the counter.  “So, Pat, Thomas is making your favorite in the back as we speak.  And what is it that you would like?” he addressed the second question at Janus.

Patton had given Janus a menu to look at on the way here, so Janus already knew what he was getting, but a large part of him wanted to annoy Roman for a reason he couldn’t really pin down.

“What are your options?” he said, looking casually down at his nails.

“Here, I’ve still got the menu pulled up,” Patton said, pulling out his phone and ruining Janus’ entire plan with a pleasant smile on his face.

Janus sighed, took the phone, pretended to look at it for a minute, and then looked back up at Roman.  “I’ll have pancakes with the strawberries and strawberry syrup on top, please,” he said, glancing boredly up at Roman.

“Coming right up,” Roman said with a smile, writing that down and heading back through a door.

Janus had a brief moment to hope that he’d stay there before he reappeared to pick up the frosting and start frosting the cake that he’d been working on.

“So how have you been Patton?” Roman asked, grinning at Patton, who didn’t seem bothered at all by the fact that Roman had come back out.

“I’ve been great!” Patton said happily.  “Work’s been awesome lately, I’ve gotten to help a ton of people!”

Janus sighed as Patton continued to talk, and moved to go sit down at one of the tables and prepared himself for a night of being ignored while Patton caught up with his friend.  Unfortunately, the second he started to move, Patton turned to face him.

“And then I met Janus!” he said happily, pulling Janus back into the conversation.  “We’ve been driving across the country, like I said in my message, it’s been lovely.  Don’t you think, Janus?”

“No,” Janus said, crossing his arms.

“Oh, he’s just teasing, he’s been having fun,” Patton said, with a knowing smile at Janus.  “Hey Janus, Roman comes with me on the yearly Grand Canyon trip too.  He and Thomas both love it.”

“That we do,” said a new voice, and they all turned to see someone else coming out of the kitchen with two plates of pancakes, the stack with strawberries for Janus, and the one with peaches for Patton.  “Though we tend to drive there.  Fourteen hours isn’t nothing, but we’re still much closer than you two.”

“And I would still pay for a flight for you both,” Patton said, like this was an argument they’d had many times.  A second later, he confirmed this by turning to Janus and saying, “We’ve had this argument many times.”

“Good to know,” Janus said, picking up his plate of pancakes from the counter and heading back to a table.

“Oh, come sit with us!” Patton called to Thomas and Roman as he grabbed his own pancakes.

Janus gave him a look, trying to convey “Seriously?” with his eyes.

Patton seemed to pick up on it, but he just raised an eyebrow at Janus.

“This is why we’re here, Jan,” he said.  “Come on, let’s sit and talk.”

Janus sighed and started cutting up his pancakes as Thomas and Roman both sat down.  Janus turned to Thomas, as the less annoying of the two, and said, “So, Patton says you and Roman have been dating since college?”

“That’s right,” Thomas said, with way too sappy a smile at Roman.  “We’re both theater geeks.  We acted together in a ton of plays.”

Roman grinned back at him and gave Thomas a quick peck on the lips, resulting in both of them smiling at each other for another second before turning to face Patton and Janus again.

“Theater isn’t terrible,” Janus admitted, cutting another bite of his pancakes, which were actually quite good.  “I prefer directing myself, but I haven’t done it since high school.”

“It’s not exactly a steady gig,” Roman said with a shrug.  “Hence the cake shop.  But we do some from time to time.  Sometimes we get hired to do a Christmas play.  We did a Christmas Carol remake last year.”

“A friend of mine had a large hand in the ghost designs,” Patton said with a wink at Janus.  “He and his brother came up for the whole season, and I joined them too.  We all had a ton of fun together.”

It sounded fun, though Janus wasn’t going to say it out loud.  He didn’t really do a lot for Christmas anymore.  He’d used to spend it with his mom, and oftentimes Virgil and Remus, but… well.  It had been a long time.

Thomas said something else, and Janus shook himself out of his thoughts to realize he was asking Janus about his pancakes.

“Oh,” Janus said, glancing down at them.  “Yes, they’re delicious.”

“Awesome,” Thomas said with a bright smile.  “The strawberry ones are my favorite to make.”

“We’d get along well then, they’re my favorite to eat,” Janus said, putting another bite in his mouth.  Thomas laughed.

The conversation lasted a while after that and spanned quite a few topics about things they’d done before, but surprisingly Janus didn’t find himself feeling left out.  It was probably because any time he was about to, Patton would explain something to him or ask him a question and pull Janus right back into the loop again.

By the time they left to head back to the hotel, Janus was forced to begrudgingly admit that Thomas was lovely and Roman wasn’t the worst person he’d ever met.

“Aww, you like them!” Patton said happily on the way up to their room.  He beamed at Janus as he said it, seeming ridiculously happy for some reason.

“They’re alright,” Janus said, but he’d decided on how he’d play this on the way over, so he ended with, “but I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

Patton’s smile faded into a confused look.  “Relevant?”

Janus gave him a look.  “Your attempt to prove that there’s good in humanity.  Whether or not I like your friends doesn’t seem relevant to that argument.”

Patton sighed, sounding resigned, but after a second all he did was turn to face Janus again, and say “I disagree.”

“And why is that?” Janus said, crossing his arms.

“Well, you had fun at the amusement park yesterday.  And you had fun with my friends today.  Fun and friends are two very human things in my opinion,” Patton said.  “They’re good things that humans have built for the sake of other humans.  The sake of other humans enjoying themselves and forming relationships.  And that doesn’t have to be fake, remember?”

“Oh, please,” Janus said, rolling his eyes.  “What does that prove about all of humanity?  You have to be rich or have connections in order to do the things we did.”

“What are you talking about?” Patton asked in confusion.

“The average person can’t just decide to go to an amusement park whenever they want to,” Janus pointed out.  “And the only reason we were able to talk with your friends all night is because you already knew them.  You said they don’t do dinners.  It was only something we could do through nepotism.  And while this may be a relatively harmless example, that doesn’t change the fact that in order to experience joys in life, you have to have money or connections.  That doesn’t sound like a species that’s good overall to me.”

Patton didn’t say anything to that for a long time, and for a minute Janus almost thought he might have made some ground.

Why didn’t that feel as good as he’d thought it would?

But he was proven wrong when they reached their room and before going in, Patton turned to him with just as determined a look on his face as ever.

“Okay,” he said.  “We’re gonna stay here for another day.”

“I thought we were already doing that,” Janus said, crossing his arms.

“No, we’re staying for two days now, because we’ve got something to do tomorrow.”

“What?  Since when?”

“Since right now,” Patton said simply, pulling out the key and turning to face the door.  He pulled the luggage cart in behind them both and handed Janus his day bag.  “Alright, I’m going to take this down to the front.  Sleep well, Janus.”

Janus sighed, long and irritated. “No, give me the cart,” he said, grabbing Patton’s day bag and taking the cart from him.  “You pushed it up here, I’ll take it back.”

He left before Patton could protest, or thank him, or anything else.  He needed to sleep for a while, today had been very long.

But not, his brain pointed out, annoyingly, very bad.

…

They went to Roman and Thomas’ shop again for breakfast the following morning, though it had other customers this time meaning they couldn’t talk to the two of them.

Janus got strawberry pancakes again because it was what he deserved, and also he didn’t think he’d ever get enough of the way Thomas made them.  Patton got eggs, but Janus kept catching him casting glances at his pancakes, so he pushed the last one of his stack of three over at him.

“Here, I’m full, eat it or I’ll throw it away,” he lied.

“Oh.  Thanks, Janus,” Patton said, starting to cut it up.

“I would have thrown it away anyway.  You just look conveniently like a garbage can,” Janus said.

“Um, thank you?” Patton said, but after a second he ate the pancake.

Janus flipped his book open and read it as Patton finished eating, which didn’t take terribly long.  Afterwards, Patton looked up at him again.  “Okay,” he said.  “So the plan for the day doesn’t happen until tonight.  We can window shop again if you want?”

Janus set the book down for a second and looked up at Patton.  They’d both driven most of the day yesterday followed by a long night of staying up talking.  It was enjoyable, but that didn’t mean Janus wasn’t exhausted.  And Patton didn’t look much better off.

“Do you want to do that?” he asked, keeping a casual tone in his voice as he looked back down at his book.

“We can do whatever you’d like,” Patton said, smiling at Janus brightly.  It was strained though.  Janus didn’t doubt he’d make it through the day if he tried, but it also seemed like it would be more enjoyable for both of them to spend a day in a hotel room.

“Patton,” Janus said, closing the book and setting it aside.  “You look like you need rest.”

“Oh, I’ll be alright, Jan,” Patton said, waving it off.  “We drove for a while yesterday is all.  I told you that you get to pick the smaller things we do, if you want to do something out, we can do that.”

Janus gave Patton a long look and finally said, “I’d rather spend the day unwinding before tonight, actually.”

The relief in Patton’s eyes was probably only obvious since Janus was looking for it, but he still saw it.  Janus decided to bring it up later, but still closed his book and grabbed his card to head up to the front and pay.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” he said, and left before Patton could protest.  He paid Roman, who gave him a friendlier smile then he got yesterday.

“It was nice to meet you,” he said.  “So long as you’re not mean to Patton, you’re welcome anytime.”

Janus blinked in surprise.  “I… don’t imagine I’ll be coming back,” he said.  “I live in Florida.”

“Hey, you never know,” Roman said with a knowing smile that Janus couldn’t quite work out.  After a second, he brushed it off and headed back towards the door, where Patton had stopped to wait for him.

They headed back to the hotel room, and as they opened the door Janus spoke up.  “You know,” he said, “it’s not a bad thing to admit you need some rest.”

“Oh, I’m fine Janus,” Patton said, in the casual tone one only used when they were trying to brush something off.  “We’re both on a vacation, at least of sorts.  It’s not like there’s a ton of stress involved.”

“Things don’t have to be stressful to be tiring,” Janus said, crossing his arms.  “It’s also not a failure to admit to being tired.  We’re humans, we can’t go forever.  We need rest.”

“I’m okay,” Patton said, giving Janus a smile.

Janus gave him a look, trying to convey with his eyes that he wasn’t buying Patton’s bullshit.

Patton winced, clearly picking up on it.  “I’m not here for me,” he said after a second.  “I’ll be fine.”

“No, you’re here because of a petty bet we both made,” Janus said, rolling his eyes as he moved to sit on his bed.  “And trust me, I’m not going to think any less of you if you set some boundaries and ask for some time to yourself.  I’ll probably think more of you, actually.  I respect that kind of thing.”

Patton didn’t say anything to that, and Janus decided to leave it there for now.  But he did notice that after that Patton spent most of the day on his bed relaxing, reading, or napping.  They even ordered lunch to be delivered so they wouldn’t have to drive anywhere.

In fact, the first time Patton moved was about an hour before their event that was apparently at 7:00, and he looked much less tired than he had that morning.

He sat at their desk and pulled out a piece of paper to start writing a letter to his friend, and turned to Janus as soon as he did so.

“Do you want to say anything to them?”

Janus sighed in exasperation.  “If I give you something to say, will you stop asking?”

“I mean, until next time, sure,” Patton said with a smile.

Janus sighed again.  “Just tell them Thomas’ strawberry pancakes are good,” he said, waving his hand and turning back to face his phone, where he was scrolling through social media.

“You got it!” Patton said brightly, turning back to his paper.  True to his word, he didn’t say anything else to Janus until 6:45 when he said they had to leave to head out to Roman and Thomas’ shop again.  So Janus followed Patton down to the car, and they both drove the now-familiar route, which probably shouldn’t have been so familiar after only three trips.

When they got there, however, Patton parked a street away and got out of the car like they were walking from here.

“Uh, Patton?” Janus said, stepping out of the car.  “Is the other street full?”

“You can’t park there tonight,” Patton said with a smile back at Janus.  “The street is closed off starting at 6:30.”

“What?  Why?”

“Come see.”

Janus was too curious not to, so he followed Patton a street over, and as they got closer, he started to hear music.

When they turned the corner onto the street, Janus saw why it was closed.  Tables had been moved out to the sidewalks and people were mingling there and on the street, and a band was at the other end of the street right in front of Roman and Thomas’ shop, where Janus could just make out the two of them in front of a table full of food.

“What in the world is this?” Janus asked, as he and Patton both started towards them.

“This is something Roman and Thomas started a few years ago,” Patton said.  “Once a month, everyone in the area who wants to gathers for a potluck here.  There’s food and music and dancing, and all of it’s free, no money or nepotism required.  It’s at night after work is over, and they do their best to schedule it at a time where the most people possible can come.”

Patton turned to smile at Janus.  “We’re just here to enjoy the night.”

Janus didn’t say anything, just followed Patton up to the front table where Roman and Thomas were.

“Hey, Patton, hi Janus!” Thomas said happily.  “I’m glad you stuck around one more night!”

“Me too,” Patton said with a smile back.  “I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to make one of these next.”

“Well I hope it’s still soon,” Thomas said.  He turned to Janus next as he added, “the music starts at seven, but feel free to eat now.  I recommend Mackenzie’s spaghetti, and Logan’s biscuits for dessert.  He makes amazing jams.”

“Logan’s a friend of mine too,” Patton said, nudging him.  “He teaches at the high school near here.  I can introduce him to you later.”

“How many friends do you have?” Janus snapped, grabbing a plate as he started down the table.

“I love people,” Patton said happily.  “But if you’re talking about close friends, it’s just the five.”

“That’s five too many,” Janus grumbled, stopping at the spaghetti to take some.

“Oh come on Janus,” Patton said as he followed.  “I know you don’t believe that.”

“Oh, and that’s absolutely your place to say,” Janus snapped, glaring at Patton.  “How do you know how I feel?  If you have friends, you have to waste energy on people who aren’t you.  You have to trust them, which is foolish and ultimately pointless.  They make you think they’ll be there when you need them, but they’re not.”

It took Janus a second to realize that he really had snapped all of that without thinking it through.  As well as the fact that Patton hadn’t said anything yet.

Janus picked up his plate and moved further down the table, trying to achieve the likely impossible task of brushing past it.  Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work.

“Did… did that happen to you, Janus?” Patton asked quietly, moving to catch up with him.

“No,” Janus snapped.  “That’s just the kinds of things that can happen when you have friends.”

“Janus—”

“Oh fuck off, Patton,” Janus snapped, shooting him another glare.  “It was my fault anyway.”

With that, he turned and stormed off to find a table, not bothering to search for Logan’s biscuits and jams before doing so.

He shouldn’t have said any of that, for numerous reasons.  Not the least of which being that it really was his fault.  It would have been completely unfair to expect Virgil to be there for him when he was dealing with… well.  There was a reason he hadn’t told him anything.

That didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt, irrational as the feeling was.

Janus took a bite of his spaghetti and turned a second later as the band started playing music.  Right.  Patton had brought him here to have fun.  He didn’t particularly feel like having fun anymore.

Patton sat down before he could really consider whether or not it was fair to ask Patton if they could go back to the room.  From the look on his face, he seemed to have moved on from Janus’ accidental opening up and was smiling again.  Small mercies, Janus supposed.  Or maybe Patton just understood that he didn’t want to talk about it.

“Do you think you’d be up for meeting Logan?” Patton asked, giving him a warm look.  Definitely the second one, then.  “Here, I got you a biscuit by the way.  I know you left pretty fast, but these biscuits go faster.”

“Sure,” Janus said, taking the biscuits, and was surprised to find that he sort of meant it.  He was rather in the mood for a distraction now.

Patton pulled out his phone and texted who was presumably Logan, and less than a minute later a man in a black polo shirt and a dark blue tie approached their table.

“Hello Patton,” the man said.  “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“It’s great to see you too Lo,” Patton said, hopping up to give Logan a hug.  A second later he stood back and gestured over in Janus’ direction.  “And this is Janus.  He’s who I’ve been traveling with for about a week now.”

“Salutations,” Logan said, giving Janus a nod and a small smile.  “I’ve heard quite a bit about you, Janus.”

“Yes, everyone seems to have heard quite a bit about me,” Janus said, giving Patton a glare, though it probably wasn’t as serious as he intended it to be.  “The only thing I’ve heard about you is that you apparently make quite good biscuits and jams.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d say that,” Logan said, though the pride on his face was obvious.  “I do quite enjoy making them, though.”

“Here, Jan,” Patton said, nudging the biscuit he’d brought him towards Janus.  “Go on and try it.”

Janus picked up the biscuit and took a bite, and clearly his enjoyment must have shown on his face, because Logan started smiling proudly.

“It’s alright,” Janus grumbled, taking another bite.

“That means he thinks it’s delicious,” Patton said with a smile at Logan.

Janus hissed, and Patton turned his smile to him, looking amused.

Logan joined them while they ate, and Janus at least found him better company than Roman.  Mind you, he didn’t make strawberry pancakes, but he had lower energy than Roman did, and was easy to talk to.  By the time they finished eating, Janus would begrudgingly admit that he was having fun again.

Patton was having fun too, which was much less of a surprise.  Then, around the time Logan stood up to go get more food, people started to finish their meals and headed out onto the street to start dancing.  And here, Patton did manage to surprise him by reaching out a hand towards Janus.

“Hey Janus,” he said, eyes shining.  “Come dance with me.”

Janus blinked.  “What?”

“Come dance with me,” Patton repeated, like it was a perfectly normal sentence.  But he was smiling, and his eyes looked hopeful, and Janus found himself taking his hand.

And suddenly, before Janus could manage to really prepare himself, Patton had pulled them both out onto the street and was spinning them around in time with the music.

Janus considered himself a very good dancer, so it was confusing when suddenly he was having to concentrate to avoid stepping on Patton’s feet.  But his smile was being particularly distracting at the moment, which also didn’t make any sense, because Patton smiled all the time and it was the most annoying thing in the world.

Janus tried to focus on the music for a minute, and managed to lose himself in the rhythm being played, and the laughter of the people around him, and the way the lights were starting to shine in the darkening sky.  And finally, he and Patton were dancing across the street in time with each other, and Patton was beaming up at him.

The song ended, but it was clear neither of them wanted to sit down, because the next one played and they just shifted to match the new tempo.

People on the side of the street had started clapping, and everyone was laughing and smiling.  The energy was infectious, and after a second Janus started smiling too.  Patton beamed at him the second he did, eyes sparkling with the light around them.  Janus’ chest felt warm again.

This time though, it was easier to push the feeling away and focus on dancing with Patton.  This song was faster paced than the last one, but it wasn’t difficult for either of them to keep up, and though Patton was technically leading, Janus felt like he had just as much say in where they moved and what they did next.

Finally, as presumably the song started to crescendo to the end, they moved again across the street, and Janus decided to test that theory by shifting his arm and spinning Patton in a circle.  Patton didn’t fight the motion at all, and just grinned up at Janus as he did so.  Janus stopped spinning him and caught him in one arm just before the song ended.

Then for a long, drawn-out second, it felt like the world narrowed to just the two of them, and both of them stared right into each other’s eyes.

Sooner than he would have liked, another song started, and Janus jerked upright, pulling Patton harsher than he’d intended if the small yelp was anything to go by.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Janus said, catching him by the arm again and steadying him.

“That’s okay,” Patton said, his cheeks tinged slightly pink.  “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Janus said.  “I uh, I think I want a break from dancing.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good thought.  Let’s go sit for a while,” Patton said, pulling them both back past other dancers towards the sidewalk.  Janus held onto his arm so as not to lose him in the crowd.

They ended up at a different table than before, but thankfully with no other people there, and they both just sat for a while, watching other dancers and people talking.  Janus felt the evening calming down for the two of them, even if the others around them didn’t seem to be slowing down at all.

“Janus?” Patton said after a while.  From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was deep in thought.

Janus turned to look at him, and his face matched the tone.  “Yes?”

“Did you mean it when you say you respect people who set boundaries well?”

“Yes,” Janus said again, leaning back in his chair.  “I appreciate people who consider themselves worthy of care and take steps to care for themselves.”

“Why?” Patton asked, sounding a little hesitant.

Janus looked at Patton for a minute.  He seemed uncertain in a way that meant he was definitely thinking about how bad he’d been at that today.  Janus found himself wanting to make him feel better.  Unfortunately, that required the truth.

He sighed inwardly.

“Because,” he said finally, “it’s something I’ve struggled with in the past.  And it didn’t end well for me.”

Patton blinked, seeming surprised at the answer.  “Oh.”

“I’m not going to think any less of you for struggling with something, Patton,” Janus said softly.  “But I hope you know that you’re worthy of care and rest.”

Patton didn’t seem to know quite what to say to that, but at least he didn’t disagree.  Finally, he just turned to look back out at the street again, meaning the conversation was probably over.

But then Patton said, “I don’t know if I know how to let myself have that.”

Janus looked back over at him.

“Not when someone else is struggling,” Patton said.

“You’re no good to others if you’re too exhausted to help,” Janus said simply.  “You can help far more people if you’re not burned out and forcing yourself to work anyway.”

From the look on Patton’s face, he knew Janus was right.  He didn’t say anything else though, which was fine.

It was definitely fine when, half an hour later, Patton said he was tired, and would Janus mind if they went back to the hotel room.

…

According to Patton, they were going to Kansas City the next day to sample some of the local queer scene.  It was only a four hour drive, though, and the bars didn’t open until later, so they both ate breakfast one more time with Roman and Thomas before leaving.  Logan joined that time too, which meant things were a little calmer overall, which he appreciated.

Janus took the first driving shift towards Kansas City, and Patton napped for about two hours, clearly having been wiped out by all the traveling.  Janus wasn’t exactly peppy himself, and slept the rest of the way after they switched.

They checked into their hotel with a couple hours to spare, so they both headed into their room and rested for a little longer.  Janus woke up first, and turned off the alarm he’d set, as they had a half an hour and he could just wake Patton up when they had to go.

Patton had kind of just thrown everything haphazardly down when they got here, meaning most of his stuff was strewn about.  It wasn’t that Janus had done much differently, but it did mean that his most recent letter was sitting over on the desk, partially finished and therefore not sealed in an envelope.

Janus considered going to look at it for a moment.  He’d started to wonder about this friend of Patton’s.  Patton mentioned them all the time, but Janus knew almost nothing about them.  He didn’t even know their name.  It’s not like he’d have to read the contents of the letter.  “Dear Name” would probably just be the first line.

Before he could really make a decision, however, Patton grumbled and shifted from his bed, and Janus turned around to face him.

“Welcome back to the world, Patton,” he said.  “We have to head out in about five minutes.”

“Mmkay.  I’m up,” Patton mumbled, sitting up and stretching.  “Can, um.  Can we leave a little later?  Maybe in fifteen minutes?”

“Of course,” Janus said, turning back to his phone.  “We have all night.”

“Thanks,” Patton said through a yawn.  He flopped back down on his pillow, presumably to just rest for a second, because he didn’t close his eyes.

For some reason, Janus found himself sneaking glances back at the bed.  Patton looked… not hideous, with a bedhead.  He was almost disappointed when he got up and the first thing he did was brush his hair.

He was ready in the fifteen minutes he said he’d be, though, and they headed on their way.

The bar they were going to was called Missie B’s, which Patton had picked because it was a karaoke bar as well as a queer bar.  Janus felt at ease as soon as they got there, in the kind of way you could only feel walking into a space designated for you.

Patton grinned at him the second they walked in.  “You wanna sing karaoke?”

Janus’ dislike of the idea must have shown on his face, because Patton laughed.

“You don’t have to,” he said.  “Come sit and watch me.”

So Janus ordered a glass of wine and sat down to watch as Patton headed up to sing.  He picked a song called Oranges, but Janus didn’t really pay much attention to the lyrics.  Instead he focused on Patton’s bright smile, and the way he was clearly loving every second of being up there, despite not having a traditionally pretty voice.

Everyone clapped when he finished, as they should, and Patton smiled brightly at everyone before heading back towards Janus.

The second he spotted him, his smile brightened even more, which… huh.  That felt nice.

They spent most of the time there at the table, drinking a little and filling up on the food the bar served.  But Janus didn’t feel particularly like drinking a lot tonight, and he could tell Patton didn’t either.

“Tomorrow we’re heading for St. Louis,” Patton said, pulling Janus’ attention back to him.  “There’s a queer cafe there that my friend suggested to me.  It’s called The Queen Bean.”

Janus snorted.  “I like the name.”

“I do too,” Patton said with a grin.  “I wish there’d been a place like that when I was growing up.  Not exactly many where I lived.  And I was too young to go to bars when I came out.”

“My mother started a weekly gathering after I came out to her,” Janus said with a small smile.  “She made cookies and tea.  It was just me and my friends at first, but eventually we had to move to a park because so many people wanted to come.”

“Oh that sounds wonderful,” Patton said.  “Your mother sounds amazing.”

Janus sighed, and his smile faded.  “She really was,” he said quietly.

“Was?” Patton said in surprise.  Janus wasn’t sure why he was surprised about it, but he glanced up at him and nodded.

“She died about six years ago,” Janus said, looking down at his wine glass.  “Car accident.  It was sudden.”

“Six years…” Patton said, sounding baffled by the statement.  Janus couldn’t imagine why.  It’s not like it was the world’s most unique story.

“Yes,” he said, glancing up at him.  “What’s so strange about that?”

Patton seemed to shake himself.  “Uh.  Nothing!  Sorry, I was just… thinking about… something else.”

“Um, okay,” Janus said, narrowing his eyes slightly suspiciously.

“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom,” Patton said suddenly, jumping up before Janus could say anything else and rushing off.

Janus watched him go for a second before turning back to the table.  Okay, so he was hiding something.  Should he push or not?

Trying to pull secrets out of people was a favorite pastime of his.  But for some reason he didn’t really want to make Patton uncomfortable, and he had a feeling that would happen if he pushed.

He also didn’t particularly want to keep talking about his mother.  He’d shoved all of that in a box in the back of his head for a reason.  He wasn’t just going to yank it out again because Patton was way too easy to open up to.

Janus ran his hands through his hair, then stood up to get another glass of wine.

By the time Patton came back out of the bathroom, Janus was significantly more tipsy, and he’d also decided to let whatever had happened go for now, so they both spent the rest of the evening acting like that conversation hadn’t happened.

…

Patton drove them to St. Louis the following day, while Janus slept off the slight headache he had left over from the extra glass of wine the night before.  He felt better when he woke up, just in time for them to pull into the hotel they were staying at in St. Louis.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Patton said, smiling at him.  “You feeling better?”

Janus grunted affirmatively and climbed out of the car to stretch.

“You want to take a few hours off before heading to the cafe?” Patton asked.

“That would be nice,” Janus agreed, moving to grab his day bag out of the back of the car.  He grabbed Patton’s too so he could carry them in while Patton parked the car, and waited in the lobby for Patton to arrive.

“Oh, you didn’t have to wait for me,” Patton said as he approached.

“I didn’t want to have to carry your bag the whole way,” Janus lied.  From the look on Patton’s face, he didn’t buy it for a second, but he didn’t say anything.

They both stayed in the hotel room for a few hours, just like they had yesterday, and then they headed out again and Patton drove them to “The Queen Bean.”

There was an assortment of pride flags on the walls when they walked in, and pamphlets with resources by the door.

Behind the counter where a long line was standing was a man with a very distinctive pair of sunglasses, wearing a bi pride pin and trans pride pin with he/him pronouns.

“That’s Remy,” Patton said, and Janus glanced over at him.  “My friend introduced me to him, he met him online.  Hey, do you trust me to pick your drink for you?  I know one I think you’d like.”

Janus shrugged.  “Sure.  I’m not waiting in line with you though.”

“Deal.  Grab us a table,” Patton said with a smile, getting in line.

Janus headed back to a table by the window, sat down and pulled out his phone.  They had less than a week left in the trip now, and Janus was finding himself not looking forward to the end.  Despite how pointless this obviously was, and that Patton definitely hadn’t convinced him of anything, well.  The spontaneous road trip was a nice break from reality, and he’d admit, rather enjoyable sometimes.

Patton showed up back at the table with two drinks called “The REM,” which was apparently a house special, and two apple turnovers.

Janus took the drinks as Patton set the pastries down, then picked up his own drink.  It just looked like a black coffee, but as he took a sip, he instead tasted caramel and chocolate.

His enjoyment must have been clear, because Patton started beaming.

“I take it I picked well, then?” he asked.

“Oh not in the slightest, I despise caramel,” Janus said, with a smile at Patton so he could be sure he knew he was joking.

Patton grinned and took a sip of his own.  “I prefer french vanilla myself, if I’m being honest,” he said.  “But I thought it could be fun to get the same drink.”  He held his drink out to Janus, who clinked his own mug against his, and then they both took another drink.

“The turnovers are to die for too,” Patton said as he picked one of them up.  “The apples are my favorite.”

Janus picked one up and took a bite, and hummed in agreement.  “I can understand why.”

“So,” Patton said, and Janus glanced up at him.  “The point of today and yesterday is community.”

“Oh?” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.

“These places we’ve gone to are relatively cheap, so there’s fewer barriers.  And they’re also places humans have created to find communities that they fit in.  A specific group we both care about, in this case, but it’s something all humans do.  We seek each other out, because we recognize that we’re important.”

“Or they’re just trying to find places to compartmentalize themselves because humans feel more comfortable with people like them,” Janus said, taking another bite of his apple turnover.

“Do you honestly think that’s the main reason?” Patton asked, crossing his arms.

“Absolutely,” Janus lied.

Patton didn’t look like he believed him, but he let it go, and they both went back to their food and drinks.

“Tomorrow we’re going to a local park in Tennessee,” Patton said.  “It’s a little bit further, about six hours away, so we’ll look at it tomorrow and then camp there to have a day off, since we’ve been getting worn out lately.  There’s a park called Rock Island Park that has some really beautiful waterfalls.”

“We’re back to nature, then,” Janus said.  He didn’t particularly mind the idea.

“That’s the plan,” Patton said with a smile.  “It’s really popular, so just prepare yourself for that.”

“Well, I don’t know how I’ll manage.  The other stops like the Grand Canyon just had no one there at all.”

Patton chuckled.  “Fair enough.  We’ll be camping there for a day before we stop in Atlanta Georgia.”

“What’s in Atlanta?” Janus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That depends on how Rock Island Park goes,” Patton said with a mischievous smile.  “A lot of this has been rather on the fly, you know.”

“I figured,” Janus said with a shrug.  “Do keep in mind you’ve got six days left.”

“I’m aware,” Patton said, but he didn’t seem worried.  Janus couldn’t imagine why.  Nothing he’d done so far had worked in the slightest, obviously.

But Patton just smiled at him like he wasn’t at all bothered.  “You want to go look at some waterfalls with me, Janus?”

Janus managed to keep the smile off his face, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Patton saw it in his eyes.  “If I must.”

…

Traffic was light, so it didn’t take much longer than planned to actually get to the park, and Patton was singing most of the way, which felt like it made it go faster this time for some reason.  He wasn’t lying about the park being very popular, though, meaning it took a little time to get in and find a spot to park.

From the second they climbed out of the car there were quite a few people around, which wasn’t surprising.  What Janus didn’t understand was how Patton still managed to make it feel like the world only included the two of them.  But they spent the day looking at the waterfalls and hiking around the park, and though there were always quite a few other people there, Janus never really found them worth more attention than Patton.  Patton was just… more important than them, obviously.  That made sense, Janus didn’t know any of them, of course he wasn’t going to pay them any attention.  And he paid attention to the nature they were there for too, obviously.  Patton was just… very often in his field of vision.

Well maybe he didn’t understand it either.

They set up the tent closer to dark, and though the stargazing wasn’t quite as good as it had been in Zion, it was still breathtaking.  But more often, Janus found his gaze drifting over to Patton, in a way that was starting to become very annoying.

Of course Patton was bound to notice eventually.  Janus was surprised it hadn’t been sooner, honestly.  But it was while they were stargazing that he finally turned and saw Janus staring at him.

“What is it?” Patton asked, narrowing his eyes slightly in concern.  “Are you alright?”

“Oh, just,” Janus quickly turned his gaze back to the stars.  “Admiring the view.”

“Oh,” Patton said, sounding a little confused.  “Okay.  Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?”

You are, whispered a tiny voice in Janus’ head, that he promptly beat back with a broom.

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” Janus said, trying to shake himself out of whatever this was.  “I’m pretty tired.”

“Okay,” Patton said, giving him a smile.  “Remember, we’re not leaving until the day after tomorrow, so feel free to sleep as long as you want.”

“Trust me, I will,” Janus said, because he really was rather exhausted, and a long sleep sounded like exactly what he needed.  He headed back for the tent and curled up in his sleeping bag.

He thought Patton would be joining him before very long, but surprisingly, he didn’t show up for long enough that he fell asleep.  However, annoyingly, his exhaustion wasn’t enough to stop him from waking up in the middle of the night.

He laid there for a while before sighing and rolling over, trying to bury his head back in his pillow, but something wasn’t letting him fall back asleep.

He glanced over towards where Patton was, and then realized what it was, because Patton wasn’t there.

Janus sat up and scrambled his way out of his sleeping bag, then moved quickly forward to unzip the front of the tent.

His nerves calmed the second he opened it and saw Patton right outside, leaning against a tree and looking up at the stars.

“Patton?” he asked, and Patton jumped and looked over at him.  “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh sorry Jan,” Patton said, wiping at his eyes and trying to cover it up with a smile.  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Are you alright?”

“Just a bad dream,” Patton said, wiping his eyes again.  “I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t look okay,” Janus said, moving over to sit next to him.  “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I’m fine,” Patton said, waving the question off.  “I’m used to this nightmare.”  He sniffed and leaned his head back against the tree.

“Clearly,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.  “What’s wrong?”

“No, I— it’s just—” Patton took a shaky breath.  Janus could tell he needed a moment, so he didn’t push again.

Patton leaned up and pressed his hands together over the bridge of his nose.  He looked warily over at Janus, like he thought Janus was going to change his mind after he started talking.

“I have a friend,” Patton said finally, “who tried to kill himself once.”

Nevermind.  Janus couldn’t do this.

He steeled himself and nodded.  “Okay.”

“Nevermind,” Patton said, seeming to have picked up on his immediate nerves.  “We won’t talk about it.”

Janus took a minute to push past his immediate gut reaction and actually try and judge his emotional state.  It had been a long time.  He’d probably have to talk about something similar with someone eventually.  And it was probably easier to fix someone else’s issues.

“No, it’s okay,” he said, looking back over at Patton.  “Go ahead.”

Patton took another moment to look at him.  He seemed to be satisfied with what he saw, because he pulled his legs up, rested his chin on them, and sighed.

“I didn’t know him when it happened,” he said.  “I met him afterwards. I helped with a lot of the aftermath.  I just… every now and then I get nightmares that he actually… that I never got to meet him.  He’s important to me.  He’s important to people who are important to me.”

Janus nodded.  “I can understand that,” he said.  “But you know, there was quite literally nothing you could have done.”  He looked down.  “That would have fallen on the people who knew him before.”

“They did absolutely everything they could,” Patton said, so firmly it surprised Janus a little.  But he glanced over to see just as firm a look on Patton’s face.

“You have to tell people when you’re hurting that badly,” he said.  “You have to let them help you.  He… he didn’t do that.  He didn’t let them help.”

Janus squeezed his eyes shut.  “Because letting people help is always so easy,” he said.  Then he winced.  “Sorry.  That wasn’t helpful.”

“I didn’t say it was easy,” Patton said softly.  “But it is important.”

Janus took a breath and tried to move on.  “Are you talking to someone about your nightmares?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Patton wince.  “I don’t want him to start hyperfocusing on that time of his life,” he said.  “He’s made so much progress, I don’t want to jeopardize that.”

“That’s understandable, but I didn’t ask if you were talking to him about them,” Janus said, giving Patton a look.  “I asked if you were talking to someone.”

Patton didn’t say anything.

“You should,” Janus said.

“I know,” Patton whispered.

“Hey,” Janus said.  “I won’t think any less of you if you admit to needing help on this.”

Patton didn’t quite look reassured, so before he could think about it too much, Janus reached out and wrapped him in a hug.  He’d blame it on the exhaustion tomorrow.

Patton turned and buried his head in Janus’ chest and took a couple deep breaths.  Janus rubbed his back and held him close.

“I’m okay,” Patton mumbled into his shirt.

“You’re not,” Janus replied.  “But that’s okay.”

Patton didn’t say anything.  They’d go back to the tent eventually, but for a while, they both just sat there.

…

Janus woke to a feeling of dread in his chest and a realization that he was getting dangerously close to a line he didn’t want to cross.

He’d promised himself he would never care about anyone again, and caring for Patton was an even worse idea.  Patton was too warm, too good.  Janus would inevitably end up disappointing him, and then he’d just—

Janus rolled over in his sleeping bag so his back was facing Patton.  He was being stupid.  He didn’t care about Patton.  What was there to care about?  The man was stupid, and naïve, and irritated Janus to a degree that would be a nightmare to deal with on a regular basis.  Last night was just him being tired.  That was all it was.

Janus threw his sleeping bag back and got dressed as quietly as he could, making sure not to wake Patton.  He headed to the front of the tent and undid the zipper just as quietly, heading out to sit as far away from last night’s tree as possible.  He realized as soon as he sat down that he’d left anything that could entertain him in the tent, but he wasn’t going to go back for it now.  Not when he’d have to deal with Patton, someone he despised.  Someone he definitely couldn’t stand.

Janus pulled in a shaky breath, and then another, less shaky breath, and then another.  He could do this.  There were four days left until the end of the two-week bet, and after Patton inevitably failed to convince him that there was good in humanity, he’d never have to see him again.

And all he had to do until then was be cold, distant and rude, enough to get Patton to stop trying.  That was easy enough, he was excellent at driving people away by being himself.

By the time Patton came out of the tent, Janus had been over leaning on the car for a while.

“Well?” he snapped.  “Are you coming or not?”

“Geez, Jan, what’s got you in a rush this morning?” Patton said, giving him a look.  “We’ve got to pack our day bags and put the tent away first.”

“I want to go get breakfast,” Janus said, giving Patton a look that hopefully conveyed this was the most inconvenienced he’d ever been by anything in his entire life.  “Can we hurry this along?”

“Alright, alright,” Patton said.  “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

Janus ignored the twinge of regret in his chest and leaned back against the car again, looking away.

“You know, it’ll go a lot faster if you help,” Patton said, raising an eyebrow.

Janus sighed in very plain annoyance, but he headed over to the tent to help Patton get everything together.

It did, of course, go faster with the two of them working together, and about half an hour later they had all their stuff for the day in their car and were on their way to get breakfast.

They went to a Denny’s, and Janus got strawberry pancakes that were vastly inferior to Thomas’ pancakes, which was quite easy to incorporate into his bad mood.

Patton was picking up on something being wrong about that time, and it didn’t take long for him to bring it up.

“Are you alright, Janus?” he asked, giving him a concerned look.  “Did you sleep well after we went back to sleep last night?”

“I slept fine,” Janus said coolly.  “I’m just ready to get out of here.  What other pointless thing are we doing?”

“I’m not sure, actually,” Patton said, though he didn’t look like he’d bought Janus’ statement.  “I thought maybe we’d go to Atlanta and see what’s there first.”

“What, run out of ways to convince me?” Janus asked.

“Oh, that’s impossible,” Patton said.  “I’m just not sure what we should do yet.  You know, we could just go to enjoy ourselves if you want to admit right now that I have a point.”  He gave Janus a knowing smile.

“Oh, please,” Janus said, rolling his eyes.  “A point about there being good in humanity?  Humans are rude, unpleasant, and inherently selfish.”

Patton gave Janus a deadpan look.  “Janus, we’re in the middle of a two week impromptu vacation I took with you, someone I barely knew, because I thought you needed some help.”

Janus floundered with that for a minute.  “Uh… no, we’re doing this because you want me to meet your friend.  That’s totally different.  Still a very selfish reason.”

Patton didn’t seem particularly moved by that statement.

“Besides, the fact that you specifically aren’t selfish doesn’t mean that humanity as a whole isn’t inherently selfish,” Janus said, looking away.

“That’s exactly what it means,” Patton said plainly.  “Anyone and everyone can be living proof that selflessness exists.  How neat is that?”

“Oh please,” Janus said.  “That’s not how it works.  You can’t just change human nature all by yourself.”

“You don’t do it all by yourself,” Patton said.  “You make friends.  You form connections and relationships.  You get help from other people.  We help other people because we care about them.  We try because we care about people.  That’s how you change things.”

Janus scoffed and looked down at his hands.  “No one wants any kind of relationship with me,” he said.  It came out more bitter than he’d really intended.

“I do,” Patton said, and Janus’ breath caught.

He looked very firmly down at his half finished pancakes, then pushed his chair back from the table and stood up.  “I’m going to the car.”

“Are you alright?” Patton asked, sounding concerned.

“I’m going to the car.”

Janus turned around and walked to the car before Patton could say anything else.  It was a good half hour before Patton showed up again, and he handed Janus a go box with the inferior strawberry pancakes in it.

“I know what we’re doing in Atlanta now,” he said.

“Oh?”

“Yep,” Patton said.  “We just have to be there by dinnertime.”

“Sounds like you can drive the whole way then,” Janus said, leaning against the window and closing his eyes.

Patton didn’t say anything for a long moment, and then the car started, so Janus figured he wasn’t going to.

But then he felt a hand on his shoulder.  “I’d love to go on knowing you, Janus,” Patton said quietly.  “I would love to form a friendship with you.”

Janus said nothing.  Hopefully Patton would think he was asleep.

…

They ended up serving dinner at a soup kitchen, which didn’t feel out of left field, but was a far cry different from the more enjoyable activities they’d done so far.  Yet somehow, Patton still seemed to be having the time of his life.

Janus had never actually asked him what he did for a living, but this made him suspect it was something involving social work, because Patton got a genuine smile on his face when he started helping people.

They were serving roast beef sandwiches that night, with a side of mashed potatoes.  Patton was put in charge of handing out the mashed potatoes, and Janus got to give people a small cup of pudding for dessert if they wanted it.  None of the food looked like the best meal ever made, but it was food, and everyone here seemed grateful to get any.

Janus understood Patton’s motive in bringing them here.  Proving that there were humans who helped just because they could.  Everyone here had volunteered, none of them were getting paid for this.

That didn’t mean Janus was going to concede the point.  He could understand the argument that some humans were doing their best to be selfless and giving, whether the trait was inherent or not.

But while Patton may be selfless, Janus most certainly was not, and he was not going to enjoy his time here feeding a bunch of people he didn’t know.

…He was going to watch Patton enjoying it instead.

“Enjoy!” he said with a beaming smile at the man he’d just given a scoop of potatoes to.

The man smiled back.  “Thank you, I think I will.  Mashed potatoes are my favorite.”

“You picked an excellent favorite,” Patton said.  “We helped make it earlier, it’s delicious.”

“I look forward to it then,” the man said happily, turning to look at Janus.  “Can I have a pudding cup please?”

Janus didn’t say anything, just handed one to him, but he smiled at him anyway before going to find a table to sit down at.

By the time he turned back around, Patton had already turned to the next person in line with just as bright of a smile, and Janus shook his head slightly and wondered how he did it.

He’d disagreed with most of Patton’s perspective throughout the trip, but he’d at least understood it.  But how could anyone actually enjoy helping people as much as Patton seemed to?

Patton seemed to pick up on what he was feeling, and during a break between people, he turned to face Janus.

“I like to make people happy,” he said.  “I like to see them smile.  You’ve known people you like to see smile, right?”

Janus looked at Patton’s bright gaze, and swallowed.  He nodded.

“It’s like that,” Patton said.  “I like putting more good into the world.  “Making other people happy makes me happy.”

The line started moving again after that, and Janus couldn’t ask the question that came to mind, as the next person walked up.

“Mashed potatoes?” they said, smiling widely at Patton.  “Oh, that looks delicious.  Can I have a second helping?”

“Sorry,” Patton said, smiling apologetically.  “We have to make sure everyone gets a first helping.  But if there’s some left over after the last person I will put some aside for you.”

“Oh, I appreciate that!” the person said, beaming at Patton.  “Thank you!”

“Sure thing,” Patton said with a bright smile.

Janus handed them a pudding cup again without saying anything, and again the person smiled at him anyway before heading towards a table.  Patton rubbing off on everyone, he supposed.

Maybe there was something to that whole putting good into the world idea.

There was another break in the line a second later, and Janus turned to Patton.

“Is that why you did all this?” Janus asked, despite himself.  “Because you wanted to try and…” he paused and took a second to switch gears.  He still had a reputation to uphold after all.  “…force happiness on me?”

“Let’s go with I wanted to help you try and find happiness yourself,” Patton said, raising an eyebrow at him.  “But yes, that was part of it.”

Janus gave him a suspicious look.  “What was the other part?”

But before Patton could answer, the line picked up again.

They went through the rest of the line again before Janus could get back to Patton with his question, and immediately after they finished Patton scooped some mashed potatoes into a bowl and headed for the person who’d asked for a second helping.

Janus stayed behind the counter, but the person had sat near the line, meaning Janus could see them as Patton arrived and started talking.  Patton was beaming the whole time, and the person was very thankful, and then they said something else.  That something else made Patton throw his head back and laugh, easy and bright, and Janus’ chest got very warm.

Then Patton turned and smiled back at him, and as he did, his eyes somehow seemed to brighten even more.

Then, as he started back over, his smile turned knowing, as if saying ‘See?’

Oh.

Fuck.

He did.

Patton.  Damn him.

He didn’t think Patton was right.  He didn’t think humanity was good, or selfless.  He still thought they were cruel and selfish and uncaring.  He still thought life was awful and unfair and generally shitty.  He still didn’t see a reason to try.  He didn’t see what Patton did, he didn’t see any reason to have faith in humans, he didn’t see a reason to hope.

But Patton made him want to keep looking.

Maybe that was what trying was.

Janus took a shaky, terrified breath.  He couldn’t try, not again.  He couldn’t lose everything a second time.  He couldn’t do it.  Was he actually considering risking the pain of losing someone else?

“Janus?”

Janus jerked his head upright.  Patton was standing right in front of him, looking incredibly worried.

“Janus, are you alright?”

“I, um.  I have to go,” Janus said.  “I don’t— I’m not— not feeling well.”

“Oh no,” Patton said.  “Here, let me let the people in charge know, I’ll drive you back—”

“No,” Janus said instantly.  “I’ll wait in the car.  You finish here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  Give me the keys.”

Janus stuck his hand out, and Patton put the keys in them.  “Okay.  I shouldn’t be too much longer, okay?”

Janus nodded, already heading out from behind the counter and towards the door.

He climbed into the passenger seat, slammed and locked the doors shut behind him, and dropped his head on the dashboard.

He could not do this.  He could not do this.  He didn’t have it in him, not again.

He had to get out of here.  He couldn’t wait until the bet was over, he had to leave.  Right now.

Janus took a shaky breath and started looking around the car.

He couldn’t just go.  Patton would stop him, or find him again, or something.  Patton had to want him to leave.

Janus looked around the car.  He wasn’t really sure what he was looking for.  It’s not like he’d find anything in here that would help him ruin his relationship with Patton.  He couldn’t think of anything that would do that.  He’d been an asshole, intentionally, to Patton when they’d first met, and that hadn’t stopped him.  He’d attacked his beliefs and his principles countless times, and that hadn’t stopped him.  The man never gave up, Janus felt like it was safe to say that at this point.  But there had to be something that would make him snap.

Janus bent his neck to keep looking around the car, towards the backseat.

Patton cared deeply about everyone he loved.  He greatly disliked them being hurt.  For some reason, Janus had become one of those people, but Patton hadn’t known him for very long.  Maybe if Janus hurt someone else he cared about?

Thomas would probably do the trick, but Janus couldn’t bear the thought of losing his strawberry pancakes, so that ruled out him and Roman.  Honestly, hurting Logan would probably do it, but that might in turn anger Thomas and Roman, and thus lose him the strawberry pancakes.

Janus leaned back into the front seat and started looking in the car door pockets.  Remy was the only other person they’d met that Patton knew, but he didn’t seem close enough to Patton for Patton to cut Janus out of his life if he hurt him.  Patton would probably talk to him instead.  But who else was there?  He’d run out of options.

Janus opened the glove compartment.  An unfinished letter of Patton’s was sitting there in plain sight.  The tagline was there for anyone to see.  It read “Dear Virgil.”

Well.

That solved that problem.

…

Janus was leaning on the car when Patton came out, and he seemed surprised to see him that way.

“Janus,” he said, stopping in front of him.  “Are you feeling better?”

“I’m leaving,” Janus said.

Patton blinked, seeming confused.  “What?”

“I’m leaving,” Janus said.  “I’m getting a bus back home.”

Patton crossed his arms, though he looked more confused than irritated.  “The bet isn’t over yet.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Janus said, shoving the letter he was holding at Patton.  “That your friend was Virgil.”

Patton took the letter, but he didn’t look at it at all.  “You never asked his name,” he said.

“I’m leaving,” Janus said.

“The bet isn’t over.”

“You’ll want it to be.”

Patton crossed his arms.  “Why’s that?”

“Your friend,” Janus said.  “The one who tried to kill himself.  That was Remus, right?” he gestured at the letter again.  “Remus is Virgil’s little brother.  I was there when that happened.  We were all very close friends beforehand.  I remember getting that call, and driving Virgil to the hospital.  I remember sitting up with him all night.  It was exhausting.  I decided none of that seemed particularly worth it.  So after two weeks, I left them both.  I haven’t spoken to them since.”

He waited for Patton to stare at him in shock, and then disgust, and then anger.  Then he’d let Janus leave, and Janus would get a bus back home and he could put this whole thing behind him and go back to being alone and miserable, the way he liked it.

But Patton didn’t do any of those things.  Instead, he crossed his arms, smiling sadly.  “Janus,” he said softly.  “I already knew all of that.”

Janus’ breath lodged in his throat.  “What?”

“Janus, who do you think the friend I’m taking you to meet is?” Patton asked.  “You didn’t put that together from the letter?”

Janus stared at him.  “No, but that’s— that’s impossible.  They— they don’t want to see me.  They don’t care anymore.  They can’t.”

“Remus misses you,” Patton said.

Janus brushed past the painful ache of that idea with a scoff.  “Virgil’s furious.”

Patton gave a short laugh.  “Of course he is, he’s Virgil,” he said.  “But he still wants to see you.  That counts for something.”

“Does it really?”

“Yes, it does.”

Yes, it did.

“But that’s impossible,” Janus said.  “I didn’t— I left them.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did you leave?”

“I— I told you.  Because I decided it didn’t seem worth it.”

“Bullshit.”

Janus jerked upright in shock.

“That’s not true, Janus,” Patton insisted.

“How do you know?” Janus asked weakly.

Patton moved forward and stopped right in front of Janus.  He reached out and brushed against something on his cheek.  “Because you’re crying.”

Oh.

How pathetic was that.

Janus looked down and scrubbed at his eyes.

“Six years… that’s when you left, right?” Patton asked, and Janus dragged his gaze back up to meet his eyes.

“That’s the time Virgil said, when he told me about you.  That’s also around the time you said your mother died, isn’t it?”

Janus looked away.

“Was that before, or after Remus’ attempt?”

“After,” Janus croaked.  “Two days after.”

Patton hummed sympathetically, and somehow Janus didn’t doubt the real pain he heard in it, that Patton was sharing the hurt with him, at least right now.

“And you didn’t tell them,” Patton murmured, reaching up to wipe at his cheek again.

“Of course I didn’t tell them,” Janus snapped.  “As if they needed more on their plate right then.”

“Janus,” Patton whispered.  “You did all three of you a disservice.  You needed the help, and they would have wanted to help you.”

“They wouldn’t have had it in them,” Janus hissed.  “I was helping them.”

Patton gave him a firm look.  “Do you know how much harder it was for both of them to get back on their feet because they had to recover from losing you too?”

Janus looked down at his feet to hide the shame that was welling up.  But Patton, of course, just reached out and nudged his chin up again.

“Janus,” he whispered.  “If you keep trying to push people away, it’s going to keep working.”

“I don’t need anyone.”

“Janus,” Patton said, in a tone that said ‘Come on now.’

“I— I’m fine.”

“You’re not.  You haven’t been for a very long time.”

Janus’ legs were shaking, and he was pretty sure he was going to collapse in a second.

“Hey,” Patton said, moving forward.  “Hey, come here.”

He wrapped his arms around Janus, and pulled them both down onto the ground, and Janus buried his head in Patton’s shirt and cried.

He wouldn’t have exactly picked a soup kitchen parking lot as his desired place to have this breakdown, but honestly, there had never been a chance this breakdown would happen when he was ready for it.  He’d been putting it off too long for that.

As a result, he sat there crying in Patton’s arms for the better part of an hour, and Patton, angel that he was, didn’t complain once, just ran his hands through Janus’ hair and politely shooed away anyone who approached.

Finally, finally, Janus managed to stop crying, though he was still leaning heavily against Patton’s chest.

“You want to go back to the hotel now?” Patton murmured, still running his hands through Janus’ hair.

Janus nodded.  “I— I’m sorry I—”

“Hush.  You don’t need to apologize.  I was fully aware we were going to be there for a while when the conversation started.”

So Patton helped Janus stand, and get in the car, and when they got there he helped him back to the room, and then they both curled up in a bed together without changing out of anything or getting anything ready for the following day.  They fell asleep pretty quickly with how exhausting the day had turned out to be.

The next morning when Janus woke up, he still didn’t want to move.

Patton was already awake, and looking at him.  He smiled slightly when they met eyes.

“Good morning Janus,” he said quietly.  “Feeling any better?”

“Relative to?” Janus said.  His voice sounded absolutely wrecked.

“Fair enough,” Patton said.  “Do you want to stay here for a couple more days?  We’re not meeting Remus and Virgil until the end of the bet, and there’s three days left in that.”

“How,” Janus whispered.  “Am I possibly supposed to face them?”

“With hope that things will work out,” Patton said, leaning forward to press his forehead against Janus.’  “And with me.”

…

A restaurant, it had been universally decided, was a horrible idea.  There would be screaming in this conversation, and there would be anger, and there would be plenty of things that were not suited for public spaces.

They ended up meeting at Patton’s house, which was exactly as pastel colored and cheerful as Janus expected for the place where Patton lived.

They got there before Virgil and Remus, thankfully, as if Janus had been forced to jump right in the conversation would not have gone well.  But instead, he sat down on Patton’s bright pastel blue couch and they both watched an episode of Parks and Recreation to get their mind off what was about to happen.  Patton had said he’d be there as emotional support, but that he was going to leave most of the talking up to them, which was probably what should happen, honestly.

That didn’t mean Janus had much of an idea what to expect, not after six years.  He expected Virgil to be furious, but he had no idea what that would look like.  Would it be screaming and insults and everything else included in Virgil’s typical fire, or had it passed into a cold hatred that Virgil would treat as an unchangeable fact?  Which would be worse?  What did it mean that Remus missed him?  Was he still angry?  Janus wouldn’t blame him if he was.  How was he supposed to approach them?  Was he supposed to apologize immediately, or would that just piss them off for some reason?

Janus hadn’t figured out even the beginning of a game plan by the time he heard the front door open and a very familiar voice call from the living room, “Patton, we’re here!”

Janus’ instincts seemed to push him into action before his brain could begin to try, and before he realized what was happening, he was crouched behind the couch and Patton was staring at him.

“Janus?”

“Just tell them I’m not here,” Janus said, ducking his head down further.

Patton looked very done in the next second.  “Janus, stand up.”

“Who’s she?  Never heard of her.”

“Get your b-hole back up here and sit down on this couch with me.”

“Nope.  Not gonna do it.  Terrible idea.”

“Do it or they’re going to walk in here to find you crouching down behind the couch,” Patton said, crossing his arms.

Janus cursed whatever foolish part of him had first decided to start trusting Patton, but he pushed himself upright into a standing position just as two people he never thought he’d see again walked through the archway and into the living room.

Virgil’s hair was shorter.  Back when Janus had seen him last, he’d been too stressed for too long to have time to think about getting it cut.  Honestly, the first thing that caught his attention probably should have been the fact that it was dyed purple, but Janus was honed in on the length.  He’d been worried about Virgil back then.  He hadn’t been taking care of himself.  Hopefully the short hair meant he was better at that now.

He tried to read Virgil’s face, but it seemed intentionally blank, like he was doing his best to hide whatever he was thinking.  Janus could only hope his face looked similar enough.

On the other hand, someone who had never bothered to hide his expressions was Remus, though Janus still wasn’t convinced he wasn’t interpreting his look wrong.  Overall, though, Remus looked much better too.  He wasn’t so skinny, and there weren’t bags under his eyes, and he looked… generally happier, though Janus couldn’t name any specific thing that made that seem like the case.  Well, other than his expression, because the second he saw Janus he started grinning.

“Janny!” he said.  “You actually came!”

Janus winced, and tried to cover it with a weak smile.  “Hi, Remus.”

Remus seemed to take that as all the permission he needed, because he ran over to the couch, clambered over the top of it, and threw himself on top of Janus, knocking them both onto the floor.

Janus blinked, trying to process what exactly had just happened.  Before he could, though, Remus shifted again and pulled Janus up and into a hug.

“I missed you,” he said.

Janus tensed, and instantly regretted it, because he may not know how he wanted to handle this conversation, but he did know that he didn’t want Remus or Virgil to think for a second that he was the slightest bit unhappy to see them.

So, for Remus’ sake, Janus pushed aside his pride and wrapped his arms around him.  “I missed you too,” he murmured.

Remus squeezed him tighter and didn’t reply.

Eventually, he pulled back and offered a hand out to Janus, who took it to pull himself up.  “Patton said he was going to try and help you,” Remus said as he did.  “He said he thought you were hurting.  Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” was on the tip of Janus’ tongue before he saw Patton looking at him with crossed arms from the other side of the couch.

He sighed.  “Not really,” he admitted, looking away from Remus.

Remus made a concerned noise and pulled Janus into a hug again.  “Can I help?” he asked, which just about did it for Janus.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asked, wrenching himself from Remus’ grip.

“That’s a damn good question,” Virgil grumbled, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at Janus.  Which was fair, but still didn’t make Janus feel exactly comfortable.

“Hey,” Remus said, turning and shooting a glare at Virgil, for some reason.  “You said you wouldn’t be a dick.”

“No, you said ‘Virgil, please don’t be a dick,’ and I grunted in annoyance.”

“We both know that was an agreement grunt.”

“There’s no such thing as an agreement grunt.”

“Yes, there is.  If you grunt and it goes down in tone at the end, that’s disagreement or annoyance.  You’re grunt went slightly upwards in tone at the end, which is how you signify agreement.  Honestly Virgil, you talk like I haven’t had decades to work out how you use your annoyed noises as a communicative language.”

“Since when did you start doing that?  I don’t even know what I mean most of the time!”

Patton gave Janus a fond smile, that Janus was fighting very hard to keep off his own face.  He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed Remus and Virgil���s bickering, of all things.

“Fine,” Remus said, drawing Janus’ attention back to the actual conversation.  “Now I’m not asking.  Virgil, stop being a dick.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Janus said.  “He doesn’t have to be the picture of politeness.  I wouldn’t really expect that in any situation.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Virgil snapped, turning a glare on Janus.

Janus winced again.  “I don’t know,” he admitted.  “Just that you’re Virgil, I suppose, and your strengths don’t lie in politeness?  Which is fine.”

“I know it’s fine, I don’t need you to tell me it’s fine.”

“Virgil,” Remus said, crossing his arms.

Virgil glared back at him in part anger and part disbelief, and it seemed his very small threshold for things he could take had been crossed, because he threw his hands up and stormed off towards the hallway.

The other three people in the room were silent for a minute, and then Remus turned again to face Janus and Patton.  “So.  How was your trip then?  Did you think about pushing someone off the edge of the Grand Canyon too?”

Janus snorted.  “No, but if I ever go back, I’ll think about it just for you.”

“I’m so moved,” Remus said, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

“We had a time,” Patton said, joining the conversation as they all moved to sit down on the couch.  “There was good, and bad, and in-between.”

“That’s an accurate description,” Janus said with a small smile.

“Yeah?” Remus said, his own smile fading a little bit.  “Seriously, though, are you okay?”

“Are you?” Janus asked, partly deflecting and partly actually wanting to hear.  “You seem… better.”

“I… I feel better,” Remus said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “You know, it’s not like all the thoughts suddenly vanished, but… they’re quieter?  I don’t know.”  He smiled slightly lopsidedly at Janus.  “I recommend therapy.”

Janus gave a short laugh.  “Yeah, you bet.”

“I’m not joking, Janus,” Remus said, and Janus glanced up at him to see a sudden serious look on his face.

“I… I don’t know,” Janus muttered.  “I’m fine.”  He turned around, only to be met with Patton giving him one of his no-nonsense looks that Janus was somehow never expecting.

“What?” Janus asked, narrowing his eyes at him.  “You expect me to be willing to spill all of my problems to some stranger right away?”

“Of course not,” Patton said softly.  “But it’s not a bad thing to consider.”

“I don’t need to be fixed,” Janus hissed.

“That’s not what therapy is, Jan,” Remus said.  “But we also don’t have to talk about it right now.  We can just catch up.”

Janus turned to stare at him again.  “You… you don’t want an explanation?  Or an apology?”

Remus shrugged.  “It would be nice.  But you’re here.  And you clearly feel like shit about it.”

“That’s not— Remus,” Janus said, because he was pretty sure he knew what Remus was doing.  “Stop it.”

As he’d suspected, something in Remus’ face shifted.  “Or you’ll what?” he said quietly, looking down with the slight shake to his voice that was almost always imperceptible, but meant that he was scared.

“Or I’ll nothing.  But you don’t have to pretend that you’re not upset, Remus.”

“But why are you here?” Remus asked, looking up at him.  “And why now?  I don’t want to— I don’t know.”  He looked down again.  “Drive you away again.”

“Remus,” Janus said, his chest aching.  “You didn’t.  It wasn’t ever you.  I didn’t… I just didn’t handle any of it well.  It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I was what you had to handle,” Remus said, squeezing his hands into fists around his shorts.  “That was me.”

Janus took a shaky breath, reached out and squeezed Remus’ hand.  “Even if it was, that wouldn’t make it your fault,” he said.  “But also, that’s… not entirely true, Re.”

Remus turned to look at him, seeming a little confused.  “What do you mean?”

Janus sighed.  “Re, I don’t know if it was just the universe’s cruel timing, but a couple days after… what happened with you, Mom died in a car crash.  And I decided not to tell either of you, because I was being an idiot.  But I couldn’t handle that much all at once on my own, so I just… I just decided not to.  I… I’m so sorry, Re.”

Remus looked at Janus for a minute, seeming caught between disbelief and confusion.  “Wait… what do you mean your mom’s dead?”

“I… I don’t know how to explain it other than that,” Janus said hesitantly.

Remus’ eyes widened slightly.  “Janus,” he whispered, and before Janus could say anything in response, Remus reached over and pulled him down into his arms.

Janus blinked quickly and buried his head in Remus’ shoulder, though he imagined the shirt would be wet later.

“Janus, you should have said something dummy,” Remus whispered.

“I know,” Janus whispered back.

“You should have said something, dummy, we would have—” Remus just shook his head and held Janus closer, and Janus pulled in a shaky breath and just sat there and let him.  He’d have to make plenty of time to hug Remus later, but he wasn’t sure he had the strength for it right now.

They both sat there for a while, not saying anything.  When they finally did pull back, Patton, angel that he was, was just sitting there scrolling through his phone with a pleasantly neutral expression on his face.  He did look over at them when they moved, though.

“You guys okay?” he said with a smile.

“Eh, you know,” Remus said with half of a shrug.

Patton gave a sad smile and reached out to squeeze Remus in a side hug.  “I’m glad you two got to talk,” he said.

“Yeah, thanks for dragging his ass back here,” Remus said with a lopsided grin.

“Hey,” Janus said, giving a slightly irritated look.

“Am I wrong?”

“No, but that’s not the point.”

Remus laughed a little, and ended with a grin towards Janus.  It faded a second later, and he looked down at his hands.  “I might, um, need some time?” he said quietly.  “Before things can be like— you know, like they were.”

“Obviously,” Janus said, crossing his arms and giving Remus a slightly concerned look.  “I might not have known what to expect, but I definitely didn’t expect us to jump right back into where things were.”

Remus gave him a slightly relieved smile.  “Okay,” he said.

“Hey,” Janus said, giving him another side hug.  “It’s really good to know you’re doing okay.  I’m happy for you.”

Remus smiled again.  “I’m happy for me too.  And I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Janus said with a small smile.

Remus’ gaze turned slightly mischievous, and Janus took a minute to regret any idea to ever talk to him again.

“You know,” Remus said, looking back towards the hallway.  “Virgil missed you too, no matter what he says.”

“Oh, I’m not touching that right now,” Janus muttered, looking away.

“Nuh-uh.  If you don’t touch it now you’ll just leave it to fester and you two won’t ever talk ever.  Go on.”

“What, Remus—”

“Go on,” Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

Janus tried looking to Patton for support, even though he didn’t really expect it to work.  And sure enough, Patton just gave him a deadpan look.

“He’s totally right, you know.”

Janus hissed, but pushed himself up from the couch anyway.  “Let the record state that I did not go into this willingly,” he said, glaring behind them both as he started for the hallway.

“The record isn’t gonna take your shit,” Remus said with a grin.

Janus hissed again and turned back around.

He didn’t know exactly where Virgil would want to go, but he thought he heard him stomping for a while before a door opened, so he tried the last one on the left first.  It opened on what looked like a guest room, and Virgil was pacing angrily back and forth across it.

The second he heard the door open he turned and saw Janus, which evidently did not help, if the way he started scowling was anything to go by.

“Get out,” he snapped.

“Can I talk to you?” Janus asked quietly.

“Why should I be interested in anything you have to say?” Virgil hissed.

“I’m trying to apologize?” Janus offered hesitantly.

Virgil scoffed, and crossed his arms.  “Good luck.”

“I really am,” Janus said, stepping forward.  “I am sorry.  I should have done everything differently.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Virgil snapped.  “You think I’m gonna be moved by you saying everything I know already?”

“Definitely not moved, no,” Janus said.  “I figured you might hear me out, though.”

“Why should I?  I don’t owe you that.  I don’t owe you shit.”

“Fair enough,” Janus admitted.  “How about something else, then?”

“Like what?”

“Like I let you interrogate me?” Janus offered with a shrug, moving to sit down on the bed and give Virgil an upper hand.

Virgil scowled, but he did seem to be considering the idea.  After a second, he walked over to stand right above Janus and crossed his arms.  “Why are you here now?” he spat.  “Why the suddenness of it all?  What changed your mind?”

“Well, it was sort of… Patton,” Janus admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, his face warming up.  “He’s just… I don’t know.  Good.”

For some reason, that did not seem to pacify Virgil in the slightest.

“Oh, great,” he said.  “So a lifelong friendship wasn’t enough to stop you from being such a piece of shit, but hey, I’m so glad a two-week old crush finally came along to kick you in the ass.”

Janus blinked, trying to recover from the slight stunning that had come with Virgil just saying what he’d been trying very hard to deny.  But he had also missed the point entirely, which was more important.

“Virgil, it wasn’t like that,” he said.  “I’m not here because I like Patton.”

“Then what the fuck was it, Janus?  If you’re not doing it for him, then why are you here?”

Janus stared at Virgil.  “I can’t be here for you and Remus?”

Virgil scoffed, and turned away.  “As if.”

“Well… tough, because that’s why.”

“Liar.  You said Patton convinced you.”

“Patton convinced me that it’s not a hopeless pursuit to search for good things,” Janus murmured, looking away.

“He took you on one of his hope-finding vacations, did he?”

Janus smiled in slight amusement.  “Yes.”

“It worked?”

Janus shrugged.  “More or less.  It wasn’t really him so much as… the way he views the world.  It’s… really something.”  Janus coughed awkwardly.  “And, you know.  I like his laugh.”

Virgil snorted.  They were both silent for a minute.

Finally, Virgil shifted and narrowed his eyes at Janus.  “Patton met us, Remus and I, a month after you left,” he said.  “He took us to the Grand Canyon, like he took you.  But he said he took us specifically because it seemed like we needed something to live for.  Why did he take you?”

Janus wasn’t sure anymore, honestly.  Patton knowing all along what had happened with Virgil and Remus had thrown a wrench into Janus’ perception of him.  Why would he offer to help Janus at all if he knew that Janus had so badly hurt two people he was close to?  The only thing Janus really had to go on was the first conversation he’d had with him.

…The conversation where Patton had said he’d reminded him of a close friend of his.

Janus swallowed, and looked up at Virgil.  “I think I reminded him of you,” he said softly.

Virgil’s face went blank, and he took a shaky breath.  “No.”

Janus blinked.  “No?”

“No, that’s not the reason,” Virgil said, shaking his head.  “Because when I met Patton I was a wreck.  And you’re fine.  You’re a dick who’s fine and left us because he’s a dick.  You didn’t leave because I didn’t notice something was wrong.  That’s not what happened.”

Janus stood up.  “Virgil,” he said.  “It’s not… that’s not a fair sentiment.”

“What happened, then?” Virgil snapped.  “What did I miss?”

“You didn’t miss anything.  I didn’t tell you.”

“What happened?”

Janus looked at Virgil for a moment, but Virgil was glaring too harshly to back down.

“Mom got in an accident,” he said quietly.  “Two days after Remus’ attempt.  She didn’t make it.”

Virgil let out a harsh breath and started pacing again.

“Virgil,” Janus said, moving towards him and reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

Virgil smacked his hand away.  “Don’t. Touch me.”

“I’m sorry,” Janus said, moving backwards.

���You could have talked to me you moron,” Virgil snapped, glaring at him.

“That’s been made very clear to me recently.”

“You asshole, you sat up with me all night, you think I wouldn’t have been willing to return the favor?”

“I’m sorry,” Janus said again.

Virgil moved over towards the wall across the room and leaned back against it.  “How did I just miss you going through something like that?” he asked weakly.

Janus stared at him.  “You might have had other things on your mind, Virgil,” he said.  “I needed to tell you.  That’s on me.  You can’t protect everyone you love all alone.”

Virgil glared up at him.  “That’s what you made me do you dick,” he hissed.  “You just— you just left.  Out of nowhere.  I was still terrified I was going to lose Remus, and then I had to lose you too.  Just everything all at once, do you have any idea what that’s like?”

Janus winced.  “Yes,” he said quietly.

Virgil gave a short bitter laugh.  Then he pressed his hands over his eyes and started crying.

Janus moved forward and wrapped his arms around Virgil, then pulled him close while still giving him plenty of time to pull away.

“I thought I was done with you,” Virgil cried, grabbing fistfuls of Janus’ yellow jacket, the very one he’d given him all those years ago.  “I thought at least you couldn’t hurt me anymore, you goddamn asshole.”

“I’m sorry,” Janus murmured.  “I’m sorry, Virgil.”

“No,” Virgil said.  “You don’t get to be sorry.  Hating you doesn’t work if you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Janus said again, which was probably a bad idea, but he didn’t know what else to say.

Virgil pulled Janus in and buried his face in his shirt, and Janus reached around and started rubbing his back.

“Virgil,” he whispered.  “It’s really not your fault.”

Virgil made some kind of noise of protest.

“It isn’t.  Remus and I needed to tell you these things.  It would be completely unreasonable to blame you when you didn’t know what was going on or that we needed help.  Besides, even if blaming yourself would have helped something, it’s far too late for that to have any effect.  Please just stop it.”

Virgil snorted.  “Oh yeah, I’ll just do that,” he said weakly.

Janus sighed.  “Fair enough,” he murmured.

“I’m still fucking pissed off at you,” Virgil muttered after a second.

“Yeah, of course you are,” Janus said.  “Like I’m going to blame you for that.”

Virgil sighed and pulled his head up slightly.  His gaze landed on Janus’ jacket, and he ran his hand over the fabric for a minute.  “I can’t believe you kept this,” he said.

“Of course I kept it,” Janus said.  “It’s worth more than Patton’s house.”

Virgil snorted.  “Janus, I bought that thing at a second hand store for no other reason than it reminded me of you.”

“I know,” Janus said, smiling slightly.  “That’s why I kept it.”

Virgil smiled a little back.  “Moron.”  He smiled weakly at Janus.  “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Janus said.

Virgil pulled Janus in for another hug, and if they both melted into each other a little, well, they were also both too proud to admit it.

Janus wasn’t exactly surprised when Remus and Patton showed up a few minutes later, as they had been pretty quiet for a while.  They probably both would have jumped back immediately if not for the fact that Remus let out a happy noise and threw himself into the hug with them, and after a nod from Janus, Patton joined from the other side too, and they all ended up huddled together in the middle of the room.

“Hey,” Virgil said, nudging Janus with his foot so it was clearly directed at him.

“Hmm?”

“Leave again and I’ll murder you.”

Janus gave a huff of laughter.  “Oh, you’re not getting rid of me so easily a second time,” he said, as Remus squeezed him tighter too.  “You’re all stuck with me now.”

For a second, Janus could have sworn Virgil murmured, “Thank god.”

But no, he was definitely just hearing things.

…

One Year Later

…

“Patton, you’re going to make us late for your own trip,” Janus said, sticking his head into Patton’s room.

“You’re the one who wanted to stay the night,” Patton called, throwing another pair of socks into his suitcase.

“I don’t want to drive myself to the airport, I’ll waste valuable gas.”

“You already drove yourself here.  Just admit you like me,” Patton said grinning over his shoulder at him.

“Nope.  I’m dating you for your social status.”

“What social status?” Patton asked in bafflement.

“You provide me access to Thomas’ strawberry pancakes.”

Patton laughed.  “You know, I could understand that,” he said.  “Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re stuck here until I’m ready.  Or you could help, if you want it to go faster.”

“But that requires effort,” Janus groaned, even as he was already walking over to join Patton.

“Poor baby,” Patton said, patting Janus sympathetically on the head.  “How dare the world force you to overexert yourself?”

“At least we’re on the same page,” Janus sighed, handing Patton the final pair of socks he’d laid aside.  Patton put them in his suitcase and closed the top.

“Sit on it?” he asked Janus.

Janus flopped on top of the suitcase, with an added dramatic flair and a melodramatic sigh.  “I’m exhausted after all that hard work.”

“Yeah, laugh it up, we haven’t packed the food yet.”

“Will this packing session ever end?”

In all seriousness, Janus didn’t blame him.  Both him and Patton had been absolutely swamped with work this week, and Patton hadn’t been able to take yesterday off to pack like Janus had, instead having to wrap up working with the kid he’d been helping before they left.  And a week-long trip wasn’t anything that you could pack for quickly, so the hour this had taken so far was actually pretty good, all things considered.

It didn’t take quite as long to pack the food, as Patton had been setting it aside as he made dinner, so about half an hour later they were on their way to the airport, where they’d be meeting Remus and Virgil.  Roman, Thomas, and Logan were driving again, and had left a couple days ago.

“So,” Patton said, as they finally got in the car.  “Excited to see the Grand Canyon again?”

“I am, actually,” Janus admitted, putting the car in gear and pulling backwards out of the driveway.  “I’ll be glad to see it while I’m in a much better place than last year.”

“And I’m glad for that,” Patton said, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, which Janus may or may not have melted at slightly.  “I still wish Thomas and Roman and Logan would let me pay for a flight, though.”

“They don’t want to take advantage of you, darling,” Janus said.  “And it’s not like they’re struggling, they’ll be okay.”

“They’re not taking advantage of me, they’re my friends,” Patton said.  “I’m happy to do things for my friends.”

“You’re happy to do things for anyone,” Janus said, giving Patton a look as he came to a stop at a light that had just turned red.  “And they know you.”

“What’s so wrong with helping people?” Patton asked, though it sounded too lighthearted for him to actually be upset.

“Nothing, angel, except that most people are far more selfish than you and will take advantage of it.  I’d be one of them if I didn’t know you.”  He pulled away from the light as it turned green.

“I’m perfectly willing to get taken advantage of sometimes if it means most of the time I’m helping people who really need it,” Patton said.

“Oh?” Janus asked, recognizing Patton’s tone shift into philosophical debate mode.  “Where do you draw the line?  If 50% of people you help are taking advantage of you?  60%?”

“Drawing an actual line would make the helping of others conditional,” Patton said.  “I don’t want to decide whether or not someone actually deserves help.”

“And if you found out that nearly everyone you helped was taking advantage of your kindness?” Janus asked.  “What would you do then?”

Patton seemed to consider the question for a moment.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “I think I’d be hurt, honestly.  But I also think it would say more about them than it would about me.  I want people to know I’m someone they can come to if they need it.  That’s more important than making sure I’m never taken advantage of.”

“I disagree,” Janus said.  “It’s not necessarily just hurting you, though obviously you’re far more important.”

Janus saw Patton give a slightly amused smile out of the corner of his eye.

“But being taken advantage of, even if you’re not negatively affected, might take valuable resources away from those who actually need them, don’t you think?”

“Hmm.  Valid point,” Patton admitted.  “But no way of helping someone is a perfect system.  If I had to start interrogating people to determine whether or not they need help before I gave it, that wouldn’t make them feel very good, and it wouldn’t make me feel very good.  And that would negatively impact my mental health, which is also important, isn’t it?”

It was Janus’ turn to smile in slight amusement.  “Also a valid point,” he admitted.

That seemed like a fair place to leave it for now, so Janus turned to merge onto the highway and prepared to turn on some music for the rest of the trip.

Before he could, though, he saw Patton turn to face him again out of the corner of his eye, and he seemed to have a much more serious look on his face.

“Jan,” he said.  “Have you thought any more about what we talked about?”

“Ah, yes, I do think we should leave the catering to Roman and Thomas,” Janus said, keeping his gaze firmly on the road.  “It’s their wedding, and they already own a cake shop—”

“Janus,” Patton said.  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Janus tightened his grip around the wheel and clenched his teeth.

“Janus,” Patton said gently.  “I think you really should consider the idea of talking to someone.  Plenty of people go to therapy.  I’ve gone to therapy.  You remember how much it helped to talk to someone about my nightmares about Remus?”

“That’s different,” Janus said.

“Oh?  How’s that?”

“Because you— I’m fine.  I’m better than I was.  You’ve seen that.”

“That doesn’t mean that talking to someone won’t still be helpful,” Patton said.  “Janus, you were the one who said I should talk to someone.”

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?” Patton asked again.

“Can we not talk about this while I’m driving?”

Patton hummed in acknowledgement.  “Okay.  But don’t think I’ve forgotten about it.”

“Trust me, I know you haven’t.”

Then Janus did turn on some music, and they both sang along to the playlist of roadtrip songs they’d picked out, that they’d be bringing along in the rental car Patton had flat out insisted on getting for the two of them and Remus and Virgil.  They’d let him, since he was the only one who could afford it, really.

They made it to the airport with forty minutes to spare, and Janus parked the car in the lot Patton directed him to.

The second Janus turned off the car, Patton said, “Is it because you still think struggling is your fault?”

Janus tensed and looked firmly away.

“It isn’t.”

“I caused all of my problems when I left,” Janus insisted.  “I should be able to fix them if they deserve to be fixed.”

“That’s not how hurting works, Jan,” Patton said softly, reaching over and gently squeezing Janus’ hand.  “And you know I’d much prefer for you to be happy.  We all would.  We don’t care where your problems came from.”

“Virgil and Remus care,” Janus said, pulling his hand away and crossing his arms.

“Virgil and Remus care to the extent that it takes work to rebuild relationships with people.  That is very different, and you know that.  They wouldn’t want you to keep hurting.”

Janus shifted uncomfortably and didn’t say anything.

“Janus,” Patton said.  “You know I won’t think any less of you if you need some help to get better.”

Janus glared weakly over at him.  “Now that’s not fair.”

“It’s true, sweetheart.”

Janus sighed, and looked away again.  “You really think it would help that much?”

“I really do.  I think you’re underestimating how good it will feel to not be hurting about this anymore.”

“It hasn’t been too long for that?”

“No darling,” Patton said quietly, reaching out and squeezing his hand again.  “It hasn’t.”

Janus was quiet for another moment.  “I’ll think about it,” he said finally.

“Really think about it?”

“Really think about it,” Janus confirmed.  “Just not while we���re on vacation.”

“Fair enough,” Patton said with one final squeeze, and then they both climbed out of the car.

They made their way through security, and then Janus called Remus to get directions to their gate, and they made it there with about fifteen minutes to spare overall, just before getting an announcement that their plane was going to be two hours late.

“Yeah, well, that figures,” Remus laughed.  “Who wants to come up with tragic backstories of everyone that passes us for the next few hours?”

“I’m game,” Virgil said with a grin.  “We talking on the run from the law after a tragic accident sad, or heading out of town for a puppy funeral sad?”

They both began to debate as they people watched, and Janus leaned back against his chair with a fond smile, finding it hard to even be irritated at the longer wait in the prospect of a week-long vacation with everyone he loved surrounding him.  They were going to the Grand Canyon for a couple days to start, followed by camping at Zion, just like he and Patton had done last year.  They weren’t going to as many other places as they had, mostly because the Grand Canyon was a yearly staple for everyone and sticking to places similar to that was just easy.  But honestly, Janus wouldn’t have cared where they were going as long as he got to go with the people here, and maybe get some of Thomas’ strawberry pancakes.

He smiled over at Patton, who was adding sweeter aspects to the backstories Virgil and Remus were coming up with, as was in his nature.

“Hey,” he said, and Patton paused and glanced over at him.

“Yeah?”

Janus leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  “Thank you.”

“For what?” Patton asked with a bright smile.

“Being you,” Janus said, leaning against his side.  “Helping me find reasons to hope.”

Patton leaned back against Janus’ side.  “It was my pleasure, Jan,” he said.

He smiled in a way that was very Patton, the same way that had once irritated Janus to no end.  Right now, however, all it meant was that he didn’t doubt Patton meant what he said.  And he was all the more grateful for it.

Janus leaned back against the seat and took in Virgil and Remus starting to lightheartedly bicker again, and Patton trying half-seriously to break it up.  And watching it all, he found himself looking forward to the hopeful future they were all building together.  It was one he looked forward to seeing.

#sanders sides #janus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #character thomas sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #moceit #roman x thomas #I don't think there's a ship name for that #sanders sides big bang #TS Storytime 2022 Submission #my fic

[not-sure-what-im-feeling]

Complimentary Chapter 2

Logan's appreciation day is upon us, and... turns out he doesn't like what's going on.

Note:

This chapter does have a swear in it (the f-word), so apologies in advance. More apologies for all of the The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals references I make. I had it on the brain when I was writing this. Also sorry for the fact that it's way after Logan's "birthday". I started writing it on his birthday, and just kept not finishing it. Here it is though!

Read on AO3

“Don’t forget, Logan, speak up. You’re just as important as the rest of them. Make sure your voice is heard.” Aedus said to Logan before he left. 

“I’ll do my best. Thank you, Aedus.” He responded, and sank out of his room. Aedus returned to a shadow, the faint glow emitting from his orange light disappearing.

Logan rose up into his spot beside the stairwell to find that none of the others were actually there. To add on to that, all the lights in the area were off. A glance at his watch verified that it was the designated meeting time, and though he knew that on occasion one or two of them would appear later, typically Thomas would be there. Just as he was about to attempt an investigation further, and as Logan’s eyes were just beginning to adjust to the lighting, the lights flew on, assaulting Logan’s eyes. He blinked away the bright lights, and saw the living room decorated with indigo streamers and ribbons and such. A banner along the back wall writing out “Happy Birthday Logan!”. The others were all in their regular spots, and they all called out “Happy birthday” in unison, and even Virgil seemed happy to be there.

“Logan!” Thomas called to him, “How are you doing?”

“I would suppose that I am doing fine, all things considered.” Logan said, “Especially seeing as I thought something had happened to you all.”

“Oh, excuse us for that.” Patton said, “I wanted to throw you a little something for your big day and Roman–”

“Yes, well, I wanted to give you a surprise party. Clearly it didn’t take.” Roman said, “Seriously, you were worse than that eccentric emo over there.” He jabbed a thumb in Virgil’s direction. “I tried to surprise him last year and he attacked me.” Roman put a hand to his chest, looking aghast. Then he muttered an added insult under his breath: “For such a dramatic pessimist, I didn’t know he’d hate my flair to that extent.”

“You did show up in my room uninvited, Ramen. And it’s not like I hate an added flair. I just hate yours.” Virgil snapped back.

“Hm, and do you know that Halloween is over? You can stop dressing like you get everything from Dead, Slashed and Beyond.”

“Moving on to my clothing, really? You know this is how I always dress. And that’s real rich coming from the constant LARPer. I don’t know if you got lost, but this isn’t the renaissance faire.”

Roman let out a high pitched scoff, and moved to keep the fight going, until Patton spoke up. “Alright kiddos, how about we save the argument for later? This is Logan’s day after all, and you two had better not make a mess of it.” Patton scolded them through grit teeth, and left them with one last stern glare before returning to his toothy grin.

“Moving on…” Thomas said apprehensively, “Logan, I know you don’t like the whole ‘birthday thing’–”

“Yes,” Logan interjected, “I don’t like it. We are not real, thus we were never born, and we do not have ‘birthdays’. But please, continue.”

“Uh, right, well, I know you don’t like the birthday thing, but it is the anniversary of you– your character’s first appearance, so we threw you a little party!”

“Hmph. So was there ever actually a meeting for us to discuss, or was it all staged so that I would actually show up to your guys' party?”

“Welp, you, uh, you called us on our bluff!” Patton said, voice getting a little higher than it was before as he fidgeted with his hands. “This week's meeting was a bit of a… fib, but we’re all still here! Just for a different reason!”

Logan snorted a bit. “Thank you, everyone, for the thought. But if we aren’t actually here to do any work, I’ll be on my way.” He looked around, but while Patton protested his leaving and Thomas looked a bit upset at all the matter, no one fought him on wanting to go. It was his own volition, and Roman and Virgil seemed… preoccupied with their own silent argument. So Logan, now convinced that no one would stop him if he left, sank out, leaving the rest in an awkward silence.

Logan rose up into his room, seething from the events of the day. Aedus wasted no time in appearing just as he had the first time round, though with less startled introductions. His orange light cast Logan in an odd glow, the shadows on his face still with that orange reflection of the lighting. 

“Hey, Logan, are you doing alright?” Aedus asked softly. “You don’t look too happy.”

“That’s because I’m not.” Logan snapped at him, before catching himself. “Apologies. I’m sorry, Aedus, I… I don’t know what came over me. I’m not typically like this.”

“I know, Logan. And don’t worry about it! You’re upset, and I think it’s a good thing you’re letting yourself feel things. You are the one who goes on about not repressing. I’m proud of you.” Aedus grinned. “So, what did they do this time?”

Logan sighed. “They threw a party. It’s not exactly something to be upset about, but of course Roman had to take everything too far.”

“So you’re mad at Roman…” Aedus said, half talking to himself.

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say ‘mad’, but that’s a fair statement.” Aedus squinted at him, before Logan continued on. “Alright! I’m mad! Happy?”

“Of course not,” Aedus said as calmly as he could, “They upset you. Why should I be happy?”

“You were correct, were you not? I’m mad. I’m angry. I would expect you to have some sense of pride from that, would you not?”

“Logan… I’m not Roman or someone. Yeah, I’m right, but I care about you.” Aedus said with vigor. “You deserve to feel–”

“No, I don’t. I am Logic. Anger will only mess up everything. It’s the same with all… feelings.” Logan said the word ‘feelings’ as though it was the name of a truly disgusting creature, one that brought distaste by the very mention of it. “All of them make me fail at my duty. So no, I don’t ‘deserve to feel’. I reject the notion.”

Aedus huffed for a moment. “Well alright. But you can’t just deny feeling them. Pardon my language, but that’s fucking absurd. You know full well what repression does, so why bottle it up? Don’t you just want to let it out? What do you want, Logan?”

“What I want is to do my job properly. But…” Logan sighed, “If you think I should do something about my– emotions, then I suppose I will. What would you suggest?”

Logan sounded so tired in his question, as if he’d had his moment of anger, only for it to all come falling down as he fell with it, collapsing into a heaping pile of his own failed emotional dam. The bags under his eyes seemed so much more obvious, the orange lighting coming from Aedus casting his face into solemn shadows. His shoulders sagged and he shut his eyes, allowing himself this moment of reprieve. Aedus moved his hand over Logan’s, and Logan looked down at the feeling of the warmth. It wasn’t like he could fully feel it, even their handshake had been more along the lines of Aedus’ shadow passing over Logan’s physical form, but still, Logan could feel a warmth on the area that Aedus’ hand went over.

“Just let it out. Shout, punch something, whatever it is you need to do, let it out! Everyone deals with emotions in different ways, and we just need to figure out yours.” Aedus said, “I’ll help you through it.”

“...Alright.” Logan said, nodding to Aedus. “Where do we start?”

Taglist: @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @dearqueerheart @thegoldenduckie @greenshirtguystuff @nico-the-overlord

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #orange sanders #orange side #ts logan #ts orange #ts orange side #my writing #writing #fanfiction #my fanfiction

[ashs-random-writing]

For dialogue prompts #2, can you do a fic with #4 and Virgil, Janus and Patton? I've been wanting to ask this for a while but I just didn't for some unknown reason :P

“What’s that over there? It kinda looks like…”//“a hand? Yeah, it does, but whose hand is that big..?”

Of course! Prompt fill from this post!

—

Different realms

Ao3

One-shot

—

Virgil is tasked with exploring the mortal realm. Patton won’t let him go alone

—

Patton fluttered his wings in happiness. Oh! There Virgil was!

He flew towards his friend, and ambushed him with a hug. Virgil stumbled back slightly

Patton pulled away with a grin. The other fairy had been away for a few days to get word and a mission from the king, but he was back now!

“Hi! How was it, what did you do, are you okay?” He asked, speaking fast as he tended to do when excited

He noticed a second later how pale Virgil looked

“… they want me to go to the mortal realm. Y’know… check it out and stuff,” Virgil mumbled, hands shaking around a piece of paper that presumably held the order.

Patton gasped, hands going to his mouth. There had not been a lot of people who had gone to the mortal realm, and only a very very small fraction of them ever came back.

Those who did come back had spoken of giant (somewhat fairy-like) beasts that had come to be known as humans. Most regarded them as myths, though. It was hard to believe.

Even so, it was hard not to think of them when thinking of the neighbouring realm. Patton couldn’t bare to think of his friend alone there

“I’ll go with you,” he offered as soon as the thought crossed his mind “I’m not letting you go alone,”

Virgil’s eyes focused on him

“Patton, I- I can’t ask you to do that for me,”

Patton grabbed Virgil’s hand firmly

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t, then. I’m not letting my best friend go alone to the mortal realm, and you can’t convince me to,” he said, as serious as ever

Virgil looked away

“…Okay, but please be careful,” Virgil relented

Both of them went to go pack their things, before they took the journey to the mushroom circle that held the portal to the other world. Patton grasped Virgil’s hand tightly, for the comfort of both of them

He could feel Virgil trembling, and he could feel his own heart racing. He plastered a smile on his face. Maybe if he smiled, it would be less scary.

They got to the circle, and they looked at each other with expressions that were full of fear, before stepping in.

Patton screwed his eyes shut as the teleportation started. It felt like his body was being pulled apart and rebuilt a million times. When the feeling stopped, he cracked an eye open. His glasses were askew, but he could see how big everything was

He fixed his glasses and had a better look around. Virgil was fixed in place, staring. Patton didn’t blame him.

Not only was everything so big in the mortal realm, but they could feel the lack of magic around them

Magic wasn’t something he usually noticed- he had never been without it. He knew what it felt like to be somewhere with a higher concentration of it, and he knew going back somewhere with less felt like he was almost naked without it

With no magic in the air, it felt more like his skin had been stripped away.

He pushed that feeling down, and squeezed Virgil’s hand reassuringly.

“C’mon, we’d better have a look around,” he said with false cheerfulness.

Virgil looked at him, before nodding

“Yeah… the sooner we do that, the sooner we can go home,”

Patton nodded, and stepped onto a mushroom and jumped off, out of the circle. Virgil came with him, and Patton ignored his heart beating out of his chest. Everything would be fine.

They walked around. None of the plants glowed here, and the animals couldn’t speak. He supposed that was because of the lack of magic, but he didn’t know for sure

He and Virgil walked for a while.

They didn’t find any humans.

Until, Virgil stopped and stared at something in the distance.

“What’s that over there? It kinda looks like..” Patton started, before cutting himself off

“A hand?” Virgil asked “Yeah, it does. But, whose hand is that big?”

They were both thinking the same thing, as they looked at each other. The rest of the body was at the other side of a tree, so they couldn’t see it to make sure, but they had an idea of what could have that hand.

Patton squeezed Virgil’s hand reassuringly. He had to make sure neither of them panicked. Panicking was bad.

Surprisingly, Virgil took a step forward

“I.. I need to see what these monsters look like for myself,” he said. He sounded scared, but Patton knew that he was too stubborn to change his mind

Together, they walked closer, going around the tree to have a look at the human. It had soil coloured skin, and yellow clothes. Most importantly, it was huge.

It hadn’t yet noticed them, instead focusing on the object in its hand (Patton took a second look- was that a book?)

Patton, in his shock of seeing a genuine human, stumbled, rustling several leaves. Loudly. He stared at the human, feeling Virgil’s eyes on him.

The human began looking at him, staring at him, and Virgil. He shared a look with Virgil, still holding hands tightly, before they started trying to fly away

Even a considerable distance from the ground was in grabbing distance of the human, unfortunately. The human had stood up

Patton felt his leg get grabbed between two giant fingers, and he got yanked down, accidentally pulling Virgil down with him.

He cried out in pain as the human’s fingers tightened around his leg, twisting it (hopefully by accident- he didn’t want to think about what else it would do if that was purposeful)

The rest of the hand came up to hold him tightly, more securely. Virgil ended up in the other hand. There were tears streaming down Patton’s face- his leg hurt very bad

The human said something in an unfamiliar language, and Patton had no clue what was said. He tried to move in the hand, but the grip was just too tight

He looked over at Virgil, who seemed to be in as much of a dilemma as him

The human spoke again and Patton looked up at it- what was it saying? He had no clue

He was placed into a pocket, jostling his leg, causing him to cry out in pain again. He screwed his eyes shut

“Patton! Are you- are you okay?” He could hear Virgil shout

Patton suppressed a whimper as he felt his leg throb

“Y-yep! Just my leg hurts a bit, don’t- don’t worry!” He called back, trying his hardest not to move

He could feel the human moving, each movement jostling the pocket holding him. He bit his cheek to avoid crying out again

The human walked for a while, and Patton’s leg got moved and hurt far too much for comfort. When he finally got taken out of the pocket, he was placed on a giant table. He scrambled back and tried to avoid moving his hurt leg too much

He watched as Virgil got taken out of another pocket, and placed next to him. Patton looked at him

Was he okay?

Virgil looked back at him, and down at his leg, which had become very bruised and a little swollen

“Pat, your leg!”

Patton forced a smile

“D-don’t worry, I’m fine!”

Virgil gave him a disbelieving look, clearly worried about him, but Patton didn’t want him to be

Virgil shook his head

“I never should’ve let you come with me, this is all my fault,”

—

Janus had been trying to read a book in the peace and quiet of the woods. When the quiet was disturbed by rustling leaves, he had looked over almost boredly, expecting the wind, or perhaps a bird

What he was not expecting, however, was two fairies holding hands and staring back at him. He shot to his feet, as they looked at each other and then started flying away.

He wanted answers, he wanted to know what was going on

He reached to grab them, only managing to grab a single leg. Good enough, he supposed, as he yanked both fairies into easier distance.

He twisted the hand that was holding the leg to make it easier to grab its body instead, and it cried out. He grabbed the other fairy, who seemed to be looking at its friend with worry. Janus looked back at the first fairy.

Oh. It was crying. He wrinkled his nose- there was no need for that.

“Why were you two watching me while I was reading?” He asked, only to receive no reply.

He hummed in discontent

“Do you not understand me, or are you just being difficult,” he asked, before tucking the first fairy away into his pocket. It cried out again- okay, maybe he was a little worried now

The fairy that was still in his hand started shouting something in an unfamiliar language to the fairy he had tucked away in his pocket. While he couldn’t understand the words, he could understand the tone. It was worried.

He also recognised the tone that the response was giving off. He frowned

He gently placed the other fairy in a different pocket, picked up his book and briskly walked to his house. He was going to get answers somehow

He got inside and placed both fairies on the table. Now, Janus saw the first fairy’s leg- the one that he had grabbed

It was swollen, and it was heavily bruised. Janus felt guilt creeping up on him, but he didn’t let it show. The fairies had been spying on him, for who-knows-why

The second fairy had looked at the leg with an almost horrified expression, saying another something in the strange little language

The way the first fairy’s face, while still pinched with pain, was trying to smile, it made something in Janus’s heart ache. He pushed that down

These things would be kept here until he got his answers.

—

@a-chilly-pepper @da3dm

#sanders sides gt #sanders sides fic #sanders sides story #sanders sides g/t #giant/tiny #g/t #giant tiny #sanders sides au #sanders sides #sanders side fic