Stiles: Alright. Moving on to next week's schedule--
Derek: [groans in pain]
Scott: ... You okay, Derek?
Derek: Just a little tooth pain. I'm fine. Continue.
Stiles: Okay. Each of you guys will be getting an emergency--
Derek: [groans sharply]
Stiles: Um. Do you need to go to the dentist, Derek? A werewolf dentist? Does Deaton do that? Is that a thing? That you need to go to?
Derek: I'm fine. I don't like dentists. Just a second. [grabs a pair of pliers]
Isaac: Oh, no. No, no no--
Derek: [puts the pliers in his mouth]
Erica: No! Oh my god, what are you doing?
Lydia: [staring in horror]
Isaac: --no, no no! No!
Derek: [YANKS HIS TOOTH OUT]
Scott: [starts shouting]
Isaac: [sprints out of the loft]
Boyd: [follows him]
Lydia: WHAT the FUCK?!
Derek, politely: I'm sorry everyone, what were we talking about? Schedules?
Derek, holding his tooth: Deaton pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your betas that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Derek: Plus it's always fun to see Stiles faint.
Stiles: [on the ground, passed out]
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The Teen Wolf characters and their Hogwarts Houses
Wow, this is gonna be interesting.
See, the thing is, I have A LOT of thoughts about the House System, but that's a whole different post. So I'll keep this A/N short: No one can really fit into just one of the houses (because that system is. kinda bullshitty.) so the way I'm going to do this is by listing all of their traits that match with house values, and then sorting them by what fits best. It’s a pretty flawed system, but I can’t think of anything better.
So here we go. I'd love constructive criticism on my choices, and please feel free to bash the House System and HP and JKR in general in the notes.
Major Traits: Smart, Stupidly Brave, Crafty, and Loyal to the people he loves (I know that’s, like, all of the house traits, but bear with me), impulsive, won’t hesitate to get his hands dirty, would stoop pretty low to get his work done, always has a plan, is pretty darn ambitious. Can be an asshole sometimes.
I'd put him in Slytherin, but I won’t exactly argue against putting him in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor either.
Major Traits: Rude, cold and standoffish, Hurts inside, cares a lot more than he wants to. Falls in love easily. Very smart. Would do literally anything for his loved ones. Really, really brave, but also pretty cynical.
This may be unpopular, but Derek would be a hatstall, and then sorted into Hufflepuff. Of course, him in Gryffindor would also make a lot of sense, but he just gives me Hufflepuff vibes. Sure, he’s smart, but he doesn’t have the all-consuming urge to learn like a Ravenclaw, or the more cheaty-crafty Slytherin nature either.
You know what, I’m not even gonna list out her traits. Lydia is a Ravenclaw. Maybe an argument could be made for Slytherin... but nope, Ravenclaw wins out in the end.
Major Traits: Naïve, has a hero complex, sweet, would be that guy who’s gf is the center of his universe. Brave, often stupidly so. Kind of an ass who doesn’t see the whole picture and doesn’t try to, and somewhat selfish, but very loving. Cares for the people very close to him, wants to do the right thing.
I honestly don’t even know. Gryffindor, probably. It fits with his Harry-esque saving the world vibe.
Major Traits: Headstrong, smart, cares easily and cares a lot. Would kill for the people she loves, often vengeful, doesn’t really think sometimes. Does the right thing in the end, even if she’s lead off-track sometimes. Likable and sweet, but extremely dangerous.
She’s even harder, really. Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Gryffindor all fit. I think she’d also be a hatstall, and would probably go to Slytherin in the end, because of how deceptive she looks and how vengeful she can be sometimes (and because she’d look really good in green and silver. Sue me.) Really, though, she’s just as likely to be Gryffindor, too.
Major traits: Caring, very powerful, often sacrifices her own happiness for other people. Smart, but not cunning. Stupidly brave, kind of awkward and sweet.
She’s a Hufflepuff. I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Slytherin. Everyone named Peter (Pettigrew, Baelish, Hale) should be a Slytherin. Well, not Peter Parker, probably, but whatever. He’s a vengeful bastard who had something horrible happen to him, and while he’s pretty evil, he’s also smart, cunning, funny and a lot of fun to watch. The stereotypical Slytherin, really.
Major Traits: Really, really insecure, hardworking, wants to prove himself, ambitious, wants to be loved, snarky asshole with a soft side
Slytherin, possibly Hufflepuff because of how hard he works. But most likely Slytherin, where he won’t exactly be happy-- unless the hat is feeling kind and puts him in Hufflepuff instead.
Major Traits: Smart, funny, hurt and lonely. Cares a lot and gets hurt a lot too, but hides it behind snarky comments. Comes off as an ass but is really just hurt inside. Pretty brave and won’t hesitate to put himself at risk for others.
It could just as easily be Hufflepuff, but because I need to give an answer, I'll say Slytherin. I've literally been alternating between Slytherin and Hufflepuff for the past few minutes, though, so I don't even know.
This is kinda hard, since we don't really get to see that much of her personality, but based on what we do have-- brave, pigheaded, confident-- I'm gonna go with Gryffindor.
I probably won't do a post like this for the next gen, because I don't really enjoy them that much. Well, aside from Theo, and Theo's a clear-cut Slytherin. I'll do a side characters (Erica, Boyd, Danny, etc) and one for Six of Crows characters, though, even though it's fucking stupid and doesn't make that much sense (and that's another post coming up). Like, almost everybody fit into two or three houses lol, it's just not accurate. But it's fun, so thanks for the ask, anon.
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Teen Wolf characters as things my friends and I have said pt.2
• Isaac: I love nougat..
• Mason: Why do I look like black Annie?
• Jackson: My diet consists of crackers and water.
• Derek: That bitch Delphine
• Mason: So, technically.. you spiked her?
• Isaac: There’s a woman in my house..
• Stiles: That’s what happens when you feed gremlins after twelve.
• Liam: DOES HE HAVE A WEENIE?!
• Peter: I hate being chased with chainsaws.
• Allison: I pretended to take a test for an hour because I was embarrassed..
• Scott: Why didn’t you tell me my heart is on the left..?
*taking unscrambling quiz* Liam: Whores the answer; shower
• Malia: The manager called me a disappointment.
• Alec: It crawled back into the ceiling…
• Coach: I’m foaming at the mouth.
• Brett: Stan illegal activity!
• Sheriff/Melissa/Stiles: Why are you crying?? You were the ring leader..
• Malia: I love to make my otter smoke.
• Jackson: WaS iT tHeIr ToP DoLlAr WeaThEr MacHiNe?
• Boyd/Cora: Crooked smile having ass *insert eye roll*
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