#isnt it weird how these three groups are the exact same

[twdgs]

tell me uour thoughts on dp117 let rhe autism flow

YEAS okay so like to start, theres something to be said about how the tpci dub is weird w the trios relationship w eachother in like dp and ag

and specifically james and meowth towards jessie, intentionally putting conflict where there wasn’t necessarily any in the original, yknow yknow but thats always kinda been a thing.

like ok so them as a group are very different people obviously and they have different desires, usually the source for their temporary breakups see: meowth having his ideals tempted by christophers job offer, jessie tempted by her contest career, and james just . wanting things to be the same.

STARTING W JESSIE HERE BC we know she has low impulsivity kcontrol and she just kinda burns her own path no matter what, the gravity of the situation probably not even crossing her mind. she’s still in her own way kinda kind about it even though the actions were insensitive, w telling james to let meowth go, if thats what he wants. THE THREE TRY TO TRUST EACHOTHER SO MUCH that exact scenario happens multiple times, they respect the their teammates so completely that they would let them go if that was what the other wanted. maybe she believed that he wanted something else, elsewhere, the comment about like hey maybe you can go back to your home from jessie isnt very sensitive and its obviously not what James wants, but their individual needs for their own desires cloud their judgement and whatnot…

the thing that gets me about this episode is that james is just desperately trying to ignore the fact that he’s SUPER FUCKING UPSET, just trying to convince themself that he doesnt need the others to be the best a rocket agent can be when yknow. gestures. bozo

i think he just feels like he has nothing else to lose. feels like he lost his friends since god knows and teammates all in one breath, so whats it to try and stick it to em just this once and climb the metaphorical ladders without them? makes me insane bc GRHRGHHHRHHHRH he doesnt even actually think that. of course he doesnt wanna do any of it without the others, but one has to put one foot in front of the other to get through life or whatever… does it out of the guise of proving a point and almost fucking dies bc of it

and of course none of them know entirely how to deal with feelings that cant be squashed, the lingering dread of being alone, because that is one issue the three of them definitely share. they’re just deathly afraid of being alone even if its hidden under several layers of denial and anger and spite and whatever else. 

THEY MISS EACHOTHER THEY MISS SHARING FOOD WITH EACHOTHER AND EXISTING WITHIN THEMSELVES AND THEY LIKE DOING IT !!!!!!! THE GRIND IS MANAGEABLE WHEN YOU HAVE PALS TO DO IT WITH!!!!!!!!! it just kills me, meowth specifically has that soft spot and its pretty deep rooted. and his doubts show up very early on, THIS FUCKING CAT MISSES HIS FRIENDS but he’s still mad at them and feels like he also has to prove something. him in particular it affects the quickest, insecurity and loneliness is just as deep rooted in him as it is in jessie, he’s just more open about it than her.  

i know i havent even gotten to the obvious yet but UEGAHHHHHHHHHH!!. 

and yknow the other two fucking drop it all in barely a heartbeat when they find out what james is doing. whatever they do they do as a team, even if it’s ridiculously stupid. especially if its ridiculously stupid actually

and james gets all teary eyed and sappy about it even through originally wanting to go it alone out of anger………. i cant even parse it this episode is brain melting THEY FUCK8NG PROMISE TO MEET EACHOTHER IN THE AFTERLIFE .. they sincerely believe they are about to die and jessie decides her last words would be to promise they’ll still find eachother in the lifetimes that follow. WHAT THE FUCK. WHTA THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO MUCH FOR A POKEMON EPISODE. ITS SO MUCH.   its so . its not even necessarily a romantic thing but its so . you know that they mean it no matter the context…..

if one rocket dies the others do too. how poetic, surprisingly in character actually. everything these three do they do it together , when meowth comes back and inevitably saves them and they hug ndn ouhhhggghh…………………… you cant look at me and tell me they dont love eachother so fucking much. they’re literally friends…,how insane is that……. love does exist……………..

#ask #long post #anudda day anudda essay #sniffles and sobs and wails so loud i cant describe how emo this episode makes me no matter how imperfect they are #yhey find ways to forgive eachother and still decide to love every day ………………………………………..l. #hwhahhh #its cool. wuv this episode so much

[daiwild]

I’m a huge simp for aggressive sunshine x anxiety personified relationships…and hypmic has given me three of them at once 🙏🙏

#hypmic sasara #hypmic rosho #hypmic kuko #hypmic jyushi #hypmic doppo #hypmic hifumi #hypmic #hypnosis mic #bad ass temple #matenrou #dotsuitare hompo #kuko harai #jyushi aimono #doppo kannonzaka #hifumi izanami #rosho tsutsujimori #sasara nurude #isnt it weird how these three groups are the exact same #two gays and an old man #daiwild

[sleepy-dreamers-inc]

Going to School with Ranboo!|| 📌

[i was going to answer this but i was a big dummy dum dum and accidentally deleted the ask bUT I REMEMBERED YOU DEAR ANON]

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff and (minor) angst

h e a d-c a n n o n s||

Sypnosis|

You and Ranboo go to school together, so have some scenarios and thoughts about it!!

Artist| grapeichie on twitter!!

warnings| bullying, stress, swearing

Note: you are a streamer in this!! You are also in the SMP!

optional platonic or romantic!!

- so going to school with Ranboo is both amazing and weird. You two have tons of stories of the dumb shit that happened there.

- Nobody will ever find Y/N and Ranboo far apart, even if you guys dont share classes one of you will randomly appear and at this point no one questions it

- Both of you meeting up at eachothers classroom/locker to walk together to your next destination

- Both of you helping eachother with schoolwork, Ranboo would totally tutor you in any subject you struggle with. Both of you go to his house but you two end up getting bored, so he does a Facecam stream with you in the background vibing. (It was so much fun)

- You guys are both the teacher’s favorites and least favorites. You both add so much life to the school but thats the exact problem.

- Y/N: haha look at that high waisted man he got feminine hips!!

Ranboo: NOOOO THATS THE THING HE’S SENSITIVE ABOUT

That Poor Teacher:

- I can totally imagine some kids in your school being invested in the SMP and both of you just nervously sweat in the background. Bonus points if ya’ll’s friends are into it so its just absolute panic

- You trying to help him not be awkward, especially when it comes to talking to new people. I can totally see like a new girl trying to talk to him and he just panics, so you have to step in and explain and help the poor boy out.

- You two are like,, inseparable. Like literally rarely does anyone see you guys apart. So this kinda urks some people who have crushes on him, or literally just your stereotypical bully.

- So one day while you we’re grabbing things for your next class, someone slammed against the locker next to yours, slamming yours shut in the process.

“Well well well, if it isnt the clingy one. Im surprised your not with that dork, you two practically don’t function without the other.” The guy snickered, leaning forward directly in Y/N’s face.

“And how is that any of your concern? And why does it matter?” Y/N said, standing straight up staring at the guy. “Because your fucking pathetic, thats why. Your useless without him and both of us know it.” He spat, pushing Y/N to the floor with a thud, they’re books crashing to the ground around them. Snickers could be heard from around them, as well as gasps and ‘oh-no’s’.

“Awww whatcha gonna do now, freak? You gonna go cry to that loser? Because i have a better idea. Your gonna shut up, and if not, he gets hurt.” The boy said, picking Y/N up by the collar of they’re shirt, and soon slamming them back into the lockers. All he did was laugh and walk away, muttering “pathetic, good for nothing freak.”

- You went home by yourself that day, usually Ranboo walks you home so you two can hangout, but you were nowhere to be seen. This went on for 2 weeks, and you practically avoided him at all costs, not wanting him to get hurt.

- But when he walked into school one day and saw Y/N being harassed by a group of people, he surely wasn’t the one hurt.

“Awww, cant move?” One said, twisting Y/N’s wrist even more, bruising they’re arm as they whimpered in pain. “Awww i think they’re gonna cry!!” Someone else chimmed in, one girl quickly said “better take a picture of this before the moments gone.” As she giggled, snapping a photo of you in the middle of being bullied.

“Delete it, and leave.” Ranboo said, looking down at the three who were currently tormenting you. You looked so sad yet happy, but you knew what was about to happen. “I thought i fucking told you not to tell him, guess your getting it.” The guy said, kicking your stomach and slamming you against the lockers.

You never in your wildest dreams expected Ranboo to punch someone, he was so sweet and charismatic, very passive and neutral. But now, your bully laid on the floor, a bloody nose, and Ranboo towering over him. “Dont. Touch. Them.” Ranboo snarled, leaning down and looking at the bully directly in the eyes.

- A fight soon broke out, leaving one guy with a black eye, bloody nose and a bruised arm and shoulder. Ranboo got suspended, but you left with him, not wanting to be at school and instead with him.

- While walking home he stopped, pulled off his white and black hoodie, put it on you, and soon enveloped you in a hug. Y/N return the favor, and all he said shakily was ‘i love you’

- God no one ever fucked with Y/N again everyone was scared spineless

- The entire SMP had a ‘bruh’ moment when you two told them. Of course Techno was very happy about Ranboo beating some kids up.

- But like back to happy stuff,,

- Kahoot? Idk if you guys play it in school but i do, and both you and Ranboo are such a power duo in Kahoot games

- Trading each others lunch because thats what duo’s like you two do, share with the homies

- Both of you being referees in sports because if other wise someone is going to accidentally get hurt

- You having to walk Ranboo to the nurses office after he got hit in the face with a basketball.

- The librarian does not like the fact you two cannot be quiet. You both are constantly cracking up and can never keep it down

- I know for a FACT one of you got your hands on the teacher’s computer, and i know one of you are playing memes during class while your Teacher is screeching

- All your teachers think both of you are cheating because you have synced brains and get every single answer the exact. same.

- Pulling some kind of huge end of the year prank

- Both of you speaking in zoomer language and not even your classmates have any idea what your saying

- I can see both of you accidentally writing/typing ‘pog’ into a essay/class assignment and your teacher being VERY confused

- Blasting fan-made songs about both of your guys characters and everyone liking them, and both of you are just giggling and smiling because they dont know

- Your friend group see you two doing something and they’re just like “ah shit, here we go again”

- Both of you going to school events only to ensue chaos and be idiots

- On the first day one of you getting lost and the other having to go fetch the other one

- Both of you crashing at the others house to study but it probably didnt go well

- You two are honestly just encased in your own little shared bubble, just vibing and being yourselves

- i feel like this is going on forever and most of it was just angst so I’ll go ahead and cut this off lol

a/n: TWO UPLOADS IN ONE DAY??? CALL ME GO-

Okay but in all seriousness i hope this was not total shit and actually pleasant to read. Idk i just feel like this bad

Anyways I promise I’ll get to working on pt. 2 of dad wilbur but i have some other requests i need to work on. But in the meantime simp for Ranboo and Wilbur okay bye

#ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo fanfiction #mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp x reader #dream smp imagine #dsmp fanfiction #dreamer posts ♠️

[btsandvmin]

why do u think fandom brozone vmin so much? it doesnt happen nearly as often w other ships

I have talked about this a great deal before, and for good reason. It does happen a lot, and it has always been like this. At least I can speak for the years I have been in the fandom as the first post I ever made properly was about this exact topic. (The “bromance” issue) It’s short and a bit outdated, and honestly we also have to admit that while a lot of people still keep insisting on Vmin not being shippable and being “brozoned or friendzoned” there are also a lot more people who both ship Vmin and even see actual real potential in them being more. (You can even tell by the increase in analysis here on tumblr.)

Personally regarding the “issue” of how Vmin are viewed I am no longer as annoyed with it as I used to be. I do think it’s mainly a problem when other shippers come and say it about Vmin, because that is frankly just hypocritical. I have also written  Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” and  Shipping vs Believing that explains more about my views on the subject of friendzoning and shipping as a whole. (Personally I feel Vmin get more friendzoned than brozoned, but that’s just a minor detail.)

But your question was about why you think the fandom brozone/friendzone Vmin so much, so let’s get to that.

First of all I obviously think there are several reasons, but this is all based on my speculations after being in this fandom for so long and what I have seen. Every person could have their own very different reasons to why they think the way they do. I think all the reasons play a part, but might not be equally important and might also not apply to every single person, but rather affect the fandom as a whole in one way or another.

So let’s break it down to the things I think play the biggest role in why Vmin are seen as platonic, regardless of if they are or not, just simply compared to a lot of the other ships.

1. They have since the start used the label “friend” or “best friend” to describe each other. In particular the label “chingu” of course, which in actuality is used to described someone of the same age that you are close with. 

2. The English translation and constant use of “friend” will when repeated constantly get stuck in people’s minds and affect how they view a dynamic. Just how “hyung” gets translated to brother, but a lot less well known and noted by the fandom. Basically the western fandom will likely get even more platonic feelings towards Vmin because of the word being translated to friends.

3. Compared to the other “chingus” in the group, Namjoon and Hobi, there is much more emphasis on Vmin as the same age and as being close and best friends. Namjoon himself made a comment on this. I also think the use of “friends” or more recently “soulmates” by editors is a reply to this, basically that the editors too use these words because they are used a lot by the members first. Hence it gets doubly reinforced. Every time we hear it or read it we get another reminder of Vmin being friends.

4. Their early dymanics were less soft. A lot of their interactions were teasing like Taehyung’s “Jiminie pabo” and fans saw it as two siblings or friends rather than as the “teasing your crush”. Basically people didn't read their behavior as romantic. When BTS first started Vmin already called each other best friends, and that stuck, even more so in combination with people basically not seeing any "spark" between them. I would call this preference in a lot of cases.

5. There were in the beginning already a lot of competition between ships. Jimin often focused in a lot on JK and basically flirted with him while he at the same time brushed off Tae when he did similar towards Jimin. Meanwhile Tae and JK had a very physical relationship as well and JK often seemed the most open and comfortable with Tae. I think both of Vmin kind of pushing themselves on and teasing JK was a dynamic many shippers like. Meanwhile you aslo had Yoonmin getting popular due to Yoongi seeming a bit soft on Jimin and Jimin being very open and loud with wanting attention from Yoongi.

6. Some people find Vmin's dynamics boring. To a lot of shippers “too” obvious closeness might be a little boring and get labeled as just being friends or bros. This was in particular evident in the early days of Vmin. It also matters for fan content, and we can see a lot of Vmin fiction use a bit more “soft” tropes and might not get as many readers as more conflict driven plot. For me I would also include Vmin’s bias towards each other as another point here, that people might see as too much if they are a couple and have to hide. Basically a lot of people don’t see friendship to romance as the most interesting, or the "obvious and equal dynamic" as interesting. BTS said Vmin were the closest or the “best duo” etc. but since all of them were close people picked based on preference for their ship. Of course this still applies to shippers now, they fall for the type of dynamic they like, but now they also have a easier time getting convinced by material from other shippers. Having analysis is another thing that can make a ship more appealing as well.

7. Speaking of, fan content getting created and spread will reinforce certain images. Reading BTS fanfiction or watching moment videos you will see a lot of Vmin being “the best friends”. Basically once the image is used a lot, it will get more spread and used even more. It will be a constant in many places and when talking to a lot of people. It will also of course pull people in to other ships that makes Vmin impossible. Not to mention the big ships will get bigger and spread more easily.

8. Now this might not be true for a lot of people. But I have come across a lot of fans who seem to think being a friend is something that makes romance less likely. For me I want my partner to be my best friend as well, but a lot of people do see these two things as mutually exclusive. Many see friend and lover as two very different things and that you have one best friend and one partner, not someone that are both. Basically just the view on friendships and labels and how that might lead to some feeling being romantically involved is something separate from a close friendship. 

9. Other ships spreading the narrative even further. It’s easier to just call Vmin friends, honestly. It’s often hard to deny their closeness (not that you should have to just because you ship something else, doesn’t change reality). But Vmin being so close and being part of the three biggest ships in BTS of course their label as best friends will be spread and used even more by those shippers. And because of the size of those ships it eventually gets turned into not just those shippers views, but the whole fandom’s.

10. More recently I would also say fear is a reason why people push back and try to remind the fandom that Vmin are “just friends”. Because we have very bad examples of what happens when shipping goes too far, basically it makes many non shippers try to protect Vmin from the same faith. Not a bad thing (again, as long as you don’t ship something else and is a hypocrite), but it surely does further the narrative of Vmin being very platonic. (A bad group is of course included here, which are homophobic fans, but since they feel the same about all ships it’s just a sidenote.)

11. Lastly, and probably most influentual, is the fact that Vmin and BTS friendzone Vmin in many ways, constantly. 

I won’t go into all the examples, but I think we all know a few moments even at the top of our heads by now.

I mean.... They called their song about being soulmates and wanting to be together for eternity "Friends". And maybe that's what they are, but they sure like to remind us.

So we have times when BTS or Vmin basically remind us and spells it out even more clearly that Vmin are FRIENDS. They use it very very often, and personally to me sometimes at very weird moments. Even so, the things most fans see will of course be what they say. Vmin are friends and that is it.

And at face value that is true. I just personally don’t see being best friends (and soulmates) as meaning they can’t be more as well. Especially since they wouldn’t even be able to say more than that. I mean, if Vmin are basically described as the closest in BTS, then why does that mean they have less odds of being real? Being friends doesn’t have to equal being only friends.

However, Vmin have in fact said things against being interested/denied the other, I don’t want to lie. I am sure some would see this as 100% truth and use it againt the possibility of Vmin being real. Like when Taehyung basically said he would rather date Hobi.

However, Jimin said he would definitely choose Taehyung to date, but that gets ignored by people who ship Jimin with others, so it’s really just about choosing what fits your narrative. All ships have contradicting moments or statments or answers where they answer two different things at two different times in general.

We also have how Jimin answered back to Taehyung about liking men by saying he isnt “like that” to Taehyung.

There are moments like this, and even though they might be small and forgotten by most I think they could in a sense still have registered in some fans who then basically managed to spreak the “vmin are just bros/friends” into the more common perception. 

However we also have opposite moments when they try to appeal to each other, or like when Taehyung asks Jimin to be the girlfriend etc. and personally though I do take these things into account it’s a bit like when you see members say “men can’t do this or that” and it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be queer. To me even though there are things against most ships, there are still a lot that speaks for some, and that’s why I remain unsure.

Sometimes you might get more defensive or nervous if there is some truth in there as well. It’s all about interpretation, even though I don’t want to blatantly ignore what they say. But since they have said and done directly contradicting things (like how Jimin said he would choose to date Tae while also saying he doesn’t act like “that” to Tae, or how they have changed a lot of answers in general) I also don’t see it as something definitely against them being more. Not to mention time can change things as well. 

In the end though this isn’t about what other things there might be that show Vmin might be more than friends or not, but simply reasons for the fandom’s view of them as platonic. (Personally I think they do a lot of things not normally seen as platonic, which is obviously the reason for me having this blog and writing anlysis on them.)

So, Vmin is friendzoned by the group, and by shippers of bigger ships, and even by themselves at times. Then everything else is reinforcement and inability to view them as anything more than friends.

There are some other things I think might play a part in it as well, but most comes down to personal preferences or what you get exposed to. Like who is the bias of the shipper and what things do they come across to make them a shipper, what kind of dynamics do they like etc. (It's more likely for someone who "falls" for JK to have JK in his ship, for example. Because they will focus on him and notice his interactions and then likely fall for a certain dynamic.)

History is a huge factor in general, and trying to change the perspective of the fandom might not be easy. But with a lot of new fans coming in and seeing with their own eyes how Vmin have behaved the last two years in particular, I think we can see a change.

Vmin are loved by the majority of this fandom, and that’s far better than them having people be anti them because of their ship being too big or too toxic. So in the end I do feel it’s a good things for them and for us that Vmin is being viewed as mostly platonic while they manage to slowly include more “normally not platonic things” into their platonic box. (I mean we are at a point where they can casually mention sleeping together and sing about being soulmates and hold hands in public).

Thank you for the ask and I hope you found this interesting. This is a topic I have a lot of opinions on and think is interesting myself, so I hope you enjoyed this post. No matter what we all know that one truth won’t change; 95z is love!

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin friendzoned #vmin friends #vmin bromance #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #btsandvmin

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

autistic!roger being really good at masking that when he tries to stop around the rest of queen its just kind of difficult for him?? because he has hidden his traits for his whole life and anytime he would show them before he'd get shamed. so its just all scary and difficult and he isnt really sure who he is?? and of course in the end the boys help him

Masking is natural for Roger. His second nature. He never has to think about putting on the facade of an allistic. The moment he steps out of his house, it envelops him.The laughing and smiling and eye contact, while forced, aren’t things he has to put too much thought into. When he’s in public, he has to act “normal” and he’s a really good actor.

But actors needed to drop the act eventually. That’s where Roger struggled the most. Taking off the mask at the end of the day or around trusted ones felt nearly impossible. He worried if the years of faking made the mask meld into his skin. Like he’d never be able to take it off, no matter how uncomfortable and painful it was.

Freddie threw his hair over his shoulder, a confident look on his face. “Boys, you’ll never believe it!” he said.

The three other’s leaned in, eye’s wide and curious, a murmuring of “Believe what?” echoing around the group.

“I was recognized today!” He replied, an air of whimsy around him.

The other’s were impressed, asking for more details.

“Yes, yes, it’s true! I was at the grocers and somebody called my name! I had no idea my doctor shopped at the same store as me,” he said seriously before cracking up.

Brian and John did too, slapping their knees and throwing their heads back. Roger didn’t really get the joke or feel the need to laugh, but without thinking, he was matching the intensity of those around him, laughing just as hard and with the same gusto.

It took Roger a second to realize what he was doing, but he felt too awkward to stop. So he laughed and laughed until it was appropriate to stop.

“You really had us going there, Fred,” Brian said out of breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Reminds me when I thought a fan was approaching me, but it was only my grammar school teacher. Thought the granny wanted an autograph, but all she cared to know was if I could finally spell my name correctly,” Brian, John and Freddie burst into snickers and guffaws, shoving and slapping at each other playfully. 

Roger could see the humor of it yet didn’t feel the need to laugh. So he didn’t. A conscious choice.

On one hand, it felt good to not act. It required so much less energy. On the other, he felt singled out. Maybe rude for not following the flow of the group. A sore thumb. Was the trade off worth it? 

He started to jiggle his leg, a nervous stim of his that many thought was just Roger being his energetic self. The group came too from their giggling fit, Freddie patting Roger’s shoulder.

“Why so glum? Jealous of our fan experiences?” he said, the last part being sarcastic. Roger knew that. Identifying sarcasm was a skill he had to learn by force. 

“Oh, no, I’m not glum,” Roger said, a forced smile tickling at his lips. 

Why was he so afraid to be himself around them? It’s not like they’ve ever been mean to him before. But they’ve never seen the real him either. What if they didn’t like that Roger? What if they preferred his mask?

His leg jiggling grew faster as the thoughts in his head grew more negative. The room could sense it, everyone becoming a big uneasy.

“What’s wrong, Rog? You seem irritated,” Brian said with genuine concern, his head tilting. 

Roger opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, unsure of what to say. Nothing he could say would make sense or be short and simple. He’d have to explain so much. Was it worth it?

“Are you ill?” Freddie chimed in, trying to feel Roger’s forehead with his palm, Roger ducking out of the way. 

The mask was digging into his skin.

“I’m not sick! I’m- I’m fine. I uh..” his voice trailed off, brain filled with too many things to focus on one train of thought. So Roger got up and did the thing that helped him concentrate.

He jumped.

The obnoxious movements somehow brought peace to him. Like that was the state his body was supposed to be in all the time. 

And although he’d never done this in front of them before and even though they all probably thought he was higher than a kite, he felt really good. 

“Reckon he’s on LSD?” Freddie said, looking at the spectacle in front of him.

“Probably,” John said, eyebrows knitted curiously.

Once he felt calm enough, Roger stopped, turning to face them.

“I’m not on a single substance right now. I’m just being...being Roger. Myself,” he said, still unsure of how to get all of his thoughts out coherently. 

They all stared at him, question marks somehow visible on their foreheads. Roger couldn’t help but to laugh, enjoying how the tables had turned. It was usually Roger who was confused.

“I’m different. Ever since I was born. Special, maybe. But uh, I’ve always known that. So, I hid it from everyone. It wasn’t something I decided either. My brain just...made me act like everyone else. I think to survive...” he started to flap a little.

“Hiding is kinda like acting, y’know? I put on a persona for everyone so nobody thinks I’m weird. It’s taxing, though. Incredibly. And it hurts. My plight for normality wounds me,”

“And I love you guys. I don’t want to lie around you guys anymore. But I’m scared...that you won’t like the real Roger. That you’ll find him to be annoying. Or to be a spaz. But I’m really tired. And it’s too painful. So, I think I’m done pretending. I..have to not care anymore,”

And with that, Roger left the room. He had just poured his heart out and absolutely could not tolerate the idea of being there while the others processed it. He didn’t want to answer questions or be coddled. He just needed to unburden himself. 

The guys left him alone for a minute or two before they all exited the room, hoping to find him and talk.

He wasn’t hard to find, standing by the entrance of the building, playing with some of his hair absentmindedly as he stared out the glass door. 

“Roger, darling, there you are!” Freddie said, herding the others over to him.

Roger would have smiled if he was masking but he didn’t. He just looked at them, fingers fiddling with blond locks. 

“I think we’re all a little confused about what you said, but I do believe the main message is clear. Don’t pretend to be something your not. Not for our sakes. Especially if it hurts you inside,” Freddie said, a soft smile on his face.

“We’d love you no matter what. “Weird” or not. You’re our best mate. You’re our Roger. Nothing could make us think of you as less,” Brian said, resting a hand on Roger’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to pretend anymore,” John said, always so brief but exact with his words. 

Roger looked down at his sparkly shoes, letting what they said digest. He wondered if they really meant it. If they truly believed they could handle Roger in his true form.

There was only one way to find out.

Roger smiled, a genuine smile, looking at how the glitter on his shoes caught the light. 

“Alright, then,” he said quietly before hopping up and down a few times. He loved the feeling of his hair floating up and crashing back down over his ears and cheeks.

“Alrighty,” they echoed, each one pulling Roger into a hug before padding back off into the room to finish their night of gossiping and unwinding.

Much to Roger’s surprise, they never went back on their promises. It was hard at first to always be himself around them, but eventually, those 3 guys started to feel like home. And he never wore his mask at home.

#roger #autistic!roger #Anonymous

[wickymicky]

i’m into kpop but my passion has always been linguistics (i went to college for it. i didnt graduate but that’s a whole nother story lol unrelated to classes and grades, the point is that this isnt just a hobby, this is like my area of really deep knowledge and passion), so lemme just talk about a thing ive noticed

i love the way korean makes nicknames for things lol. like Starbucks in hangeul is seu-ta-beok-seu, so they take the first and third syllables to make “seu-beok” and that’s short for Starbucks. that’s so cool! i like it cause the first syllable obviously isnt in the english word, but they treat the syllable like its a regular korean syllable and not just fitting the english word in their phonology. lots of kpop groups and things do that too but some of them are weird sounding haha, i know Produce 101 (peu-ro-dyu-seu) is called peudyu which just sounds like youre saying produce in an uwu voice, I know fromis 9 (peu-ro-mi-seu-na-in) is sometimes called peuna, dreamcatcher (deu-rim-kae-chyeo) is deukae, everglow (e-beo-geul-lo-u) can be egeul i think?, blackpink (beul-laek-ping-keu) is beulping (which just sounds funny to me lol... bulping just sounds like an english word... i bulp you bulp she bulps, we’re all bulping) and other stuff. they do this with korean words too, like i was looking to see if other groups i know of had established shortened forms, and i found people called Girls Generation (sonyeo sidae) “sosi” and stuff. i think thats really cute!!!!

english obviously tends to do things by using the initial letter, so “dreamcatcher” is “dc” (pronounced dee-see) and such. the way korean does it is similar cause the alphabet doesnt have letters in the same exact way english does... well, i mean, it does, but nobody is gonna call dreamcatcher “digeut kieuk” because that’s just as much of a mouthfull lol. so they break it into syllables! and since in korean that word has four syllables, whereas in english it has three, they do the first and third, or a similar breakup if there are more than four syllables. like how everglow uses the first and third but there are five (tho the final -u just represents how the english o sound is more like o-u than just o), and something like loona (idal-ui sonyeo) can be idalso, because i-so would leave out too much for you to know what it was trying to say. like, i looked up Izone (a-i-jeu-won) to see if it was a-jeu but no, i dont think thats a thing lol. it could be and i just didnt find it, but i would be surprised i think. 

I think it doesn’t work when both the first and third syllables are ones that were added to ease pronunciation lol, at least one of the two syllables has to be a distinctive one that you can hear and recognize the group name from. like Pristin (peu-ri-seu-tin) can’t be peuseu, right? and Twice (teu-wa-i-seu) can’t be teu-i, right? I’m also not sure why its not just twa-i-seu, cause that would fit korean’s syllable structure, but whatever lol. 

i know they do this with other words too, like how the term for selfie is “selca” from “self camera”. they do it with native words too probably, i just don’t notice those as much because as someone who is only beginning to learn about the korean language and study it rather slowly, it’s easier for me to notice proper nouns and loanwords than native korean words.

#o

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO

[roofski-music-blog]

new music i’m looking forward to/hoping for

PUP

i started listening to pup at the beginning of 2018 because i keep seeing their stuff on ig.  i really liked this like idk punk rock i guess type of music last year but i felt like every artist i found was bland.  when i found this guys i was so fucking happy because they aren’t bland or boring like AT ALL.  ngl i almost cried the first time i listened dream is over because it’s so mfing good lmao.  so i’m like pretty sure that there was an ig post that teased a new album that was posted like not that long ago and then a post that actually confirmed album 3 so yeah. i mean their last album came out in 2016 so it’s not that unlikely that there will be new music from them this year and if there is then my soul will leave my mfing body.

Of Monsters and Men

i started listening to omam around the time that their last album came out so it’s been like 4 years and we still aint got nothin.  this is one of my favorite bands ever and im pretty sure it’s impossible for me to be disappointed by anything they put out and it seems like they’ve been working hard on this new album so i’m effing hyped.  they have been talking about “album 3″ for literally over a year (maybe even 2 idk) and i really think that this is the year man because a lot of their ig stories are like in the studio and their other 2 albums are 4 years apart so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LSD

so like i know they released a couple of songs last year so like idk if they’ll make anything new this year but i neED AN ALBUM OH MYYY GOD.  sia is one of my favorite artists and she could make like any genre/kind of song and i would still blast tf out of it lmao.  and i mean i don’t only like lsd because of her like diplo and labrinth are hella talented and have some bops too.  anyways literally when they would release a new song i’d kind of be worried that it wouldn’t be as good as the last but no? they got better???? like these three together i just can’t omfg.

Paramore

holy shit i actually can’t describe how much i love paramore.  like i just love how they don’t limit themselves to one specific genre like some artists are just so bland and never experiment but these guys are like the exact opposite.  and i know that after laughter took awhile to make so idk if their next album (if they make one because i mean they almost disbanded before after laughter yikes) will take awhile or no. but i really hope that they at least put out something this year :).

AJR

i just started listening to ajr last year and like i kind of heard bad things about their most recent album so i was sort of hesitant but ohhhhhhhh my god that is false sweetie.  i decided to listen to it because i was like “wth it can’t be that bad” and it is now one of my most favorite albums ever ngl.  just recently they starting posting some not-so-cryptic cryptic shit (lmao) on ig and like i really hope they’re planning on releasing new music this year.

Grouplove

another group that i just started listening to last year.  i kept like seeing them all over the internet but just didn’t listen to them for some reason.  then i heard this girl in my math class last year mention them and we have a similar taste in music so i decided to start listening to them. i stg i listened to only their music for like 2 months because damnnnnn like they’re so good wthhhhh. their last album came out in 2017 so i think this is it chief.  like ajr they started posting some cryptic shit and everyone is like shook lmao.  idk man but i really hope they do something this year.

Die Antwoord

and here we have yet ANOTHER group that i just started listening to last year.  i had heard some of their songs before but i actually like got into their music during early 2018.  if i’m not mistaken their next album will be their last which makes me hella sad.  i know that like a lot of people don’t really like their music and i mean i can’t blame them it is lowkeyyy weird lmao but i’ve never really given a fuck about “the public’s opinion” when it comes to music.  idk if their final album will come out this year or no but idc because since it’s a final album i expect them to put more effort into so it might take longer but who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Vampire Weekend

(can we get a rip in the chat for this outdatedass photo lmfao i couldn’t find a better one)

hahahahha WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANOTHER BAND I GOT INTO LAST YEAR.  anyways these guys are actually like really good (holy shit i’m so monotonous i m s o r r y).  they just have this like aesthetic that i haven’t seen in another band?  but for real though there’s just something about their music that i just find so chill?  that’s like not a good description but i can’t find a better word.  i’ve heard that they are actually releasing an album this year so there’s thattt :).

BLACKPINK

i started getting into kpop around like 4 or 5 months ago and blackpink was the first group i listened to.  they all have great voices and just like omfg the t a l e n t they have is just amazing.  they don’t have one song that i don’t like or that i find myself skipping everytime it comes on like they’re all good.  when i realized that they don’t even have an album my soul left my fucking body because they’re already so popular ?????? wtffff ?????? anyways i’m praying to the lord that they release a full album this year because t h e y  n e e d  m o r e  s o n g s.

Coldplay

so like i’m not like a huge fan of coldplay (not saying i don’t like them just saying that i don’t like them as much as some of the previous groups i’ve mentioned) but they’ve got some bops ngl.  i say i’m not a huge fan because honestly i haven’t listened to that much of their music.  parachutes is literally one of my favorite albums of all time (definitely in my top 10) and ik that their music isnt really like that anymore but their new music is pretty good too.  like a few days ago i realized that a head full of dreams came out in 2015 so like it’s time for some new music lmao.  i really like the vibe that their music has and i hope whatever they put out next has that same vibe.

The Lumineers

(another somewhat out of date picture we are on a roll here man)

so i have been listening to these guys since like 2016 and i just love their aesthetic it’s just like kind of wholesome in a way ??  idk but their last album was so mfing good like there’s just some awesome instrumentals and like powerful vocals i can’t man like it’s just so good.  it’s been like 3 years (???) since it came out and i need new music ohhhhh myyy god.  i know that neyla left which is like a big sad but i mean it’s all good.  they made some songs this year but i need an album lmao.  i really hope that they’re working on some stuff because that’d be hella cool :))))).

#pup #pup the band #of monsters and men #omam #labrinth #sia #diplo #lsd #paramore #pmore #ajr #ajr brothers #grouplove #die antwoord #vampire weekend #blackpink #coldplay #the lumineers #music #alternative #pop #rap #indie #hip hop #musicians #bands #music opinions #pop punk #punk #punk rock

[acidmatze]

Im glad that many things overall are getting better.

When i did my job training in2010/2011 in the exact same place where i will work now as a disabled person, the people there seemed really sheltered. Like.. really. I guess most of them lived in the dorms that are basically opposite my apartment and rules were a lot shittier. There was no wi-fi for one. Also almost no one had a smartphone. Though it was 2011 and im not sure how wide-spread they were back then in general. But at least half of my classmates had one. At work i could count the people who had any cellphone at all on one hand. No one had access to internet, unless they lived with their parents and had a computer or used their parents computer. So the general consensus was "Gay people are icky because my parents and everyone around me say so. I dont really know why they say that and i dont understand the whole thing at all but why would my parents/caretakers lie to me?" It wasnt malice. There was absolutely no hate or malice in these words, more like.. confusion? We sometimes talked about these things in our downtime and since i was still in training i spend more time "hands-on" with the people than my mentors. Way more time. Actually, 100% of my time was in the group while the mentors were there for maybe... half an hour per day in total. Well, it was the home ec group and they worked super independently anyways so that wasnt a problem. If my mentor was sick and a social worker from another department would just come over maybe three times a day to quickly have a look, it never dove into chaos. Fights were solved quickly, everyone knew what their job was, i barely had to do anything besides helping with the tasks. What i wanna say is, they weren't "stupid". This isnt me criticising the people, its me criticising the system they lived in.

Anyway.... ten years later.... I was suuuuuuuuuuper smacked in the head positively by how things had changed. The internship was only two weeks but man... I heard that now its the law that the dorms have to provide free wi-fi. All the time. Always. To everyone. I thought this law was only for rehabilitation places like the one i was at in 2017 but apparently its for every place of that sort. Everyone who was somehow able to use one had a smartphone. Which means, connection to the internet. When i talked to people or heard others talking it didnt felt "out of touch" with what was going on in "the outside world" anymore. Recent news were discussed, national and international, internet trends, memes.. the works. It actually felt like 2021 and not some weird parallel dimension where modern electronics dont exist. Half of the old staff that i knew was gone and replaced by new people. The caretakers that i briefly knew from the dorms that used to be fucking sources of terror and misery were either gone or did a 180. The peeps in the dorms actually had "outside" connections now and went to events that werent linked to the organisation. The hard line between "outside world" and dorms had finally been erased. And. Gay people werent "icky" anymore because someones "parents said so". When i said to some in my group that Im gay and trans they actually knew what it was, cuz theyve either seen it on the internet (tiktok sucks for many reasons but at least you get some fucking exposure to all kinds of people) or had friends that were queer. It was great, honestly. All the complains and shit that left me with a sour taste in my mouth ten years ago were gone.

Also it was great to see most of the people i worked with ten years ago, even if they didnt recognised me, and knowing they are all doing well

#blablabla #if anyone actually read this congrats

[not-close-to-straight]

“Buried” (Chapter Seven)

Another long chapter, and I love this one. We get to see lots of their interactions, some more #geniustony porn, learn more about Steve, and have the cutest moment ever at the end. Can't wait to hear what you guys think! Tell me your favorite moment!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, hit up my in box!

Magic Number is 150 likes with 75  reblogs, and I'll post Chapter Eight so show some love for this fic!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :) **************************

Day Two in the Forest

Tony would die before he ever admitted how well he slept in the tiny one man tent.

And it was absolutely the tent that kept him sound asleep. The tent keeping the bugs and morning dew off of him. Stopped the wind enough to keep him warm. The tent… the tent was wonderful.

But falling asleep with with Steve's broad chest against his back? The way Steve’s arm had wrapped around his waist at some point? Dreaming of being twenty and sneaking into Steve's bunk and letting his boyfriend hold him all night? Waking up the soft scratch of a beard against his neck and big fingers tightening briefly before they woke up all the way?

No. No no none of that contributed to how well Tony slept.

It didn't contribute at all.

But he had slept great, maybe the best he had slept since Dad passed away, and that's saying something.

So when Steve told him they had a few minutes before they needed to be on the move, a few minutes before another long day of hiking and trying to avoid detection, Tony took the chance to wash up in the calm part of the river about a hundred yards away from where Steve was packing up their tent.

Stripping off his boots and jeans but leaving his boxers and white t shirt on, Tony dipped into the water, wincing at the feeling of his toes squishing into the mud on the bottom, and tried to stand still to not stir anymore up.

It felt good to get water in his hair, to rinse out two days of jungle and sweat and ick. He knew his shirt would be uncomfortable staying damp until it dried in this ridiculous humidity, but it was worth it just to feel at least a little bit clean.

Tony hummed under his breath, and closed his eyes to dunk his head below the water, and totally missed Steve coming around the bend and seeing him.

****************** Steve stopped and stared when he caught sight of Tony.

It shouldn’t have been so distracting, seeing the man trying to wash his hair, but after a night spent curled around that perfect body, Steve was all sorts of highly tuned to everything Tony did.

He hadn't meant to end up holding Tony, hadn't meant to wake up with his lips nearly pressed to the back of Tony's neck, and his arm keeping him close. But he also wasn't complaining.

Steve wasn't sure why they had this weird dynamic, why one minute they were snarking and teasing at each other, and then the next minute there was something hot and charged between them, and then just that quickly feelings were being hurt or lines were being crossed. He didn't get it. After ten years all of that should have just gone away, but it hadn't.

At least not for him, and from the glimpses he’d seen, it hadn't gone away for Tony either.

Maybe it was this place.

If they had met again in Chicago or something, maybe it wouldn't have mattered. But here in the forest, in the jungle, next to the same river they used to hang out by, close to the place where they had met and fallen in love-- everything was just a little more bitter sweet, a little more poignant.

And after sleeping so well last night, and getting to wake up to Tony in his arms, Steve was willing to take whatever poignancy he could get, misplaced or not.

So instead of calling out to Tony or even walking away, Steve simply stared.

The water had turned Tony's t shirt completely transparent, and he was surprisingly fit underneath it, a defined abdomen leading down to sharp hipbones that disappeared into black boxers, which were clinging deliciously to every dip and line of Tony's lower half. His shoulders were broader than they had been, but he still had that lean athletic look that made Steve’s fingers twitch to reach out and touch.

And Tony was flexible, bending nearly in half to dunk his head, then straightening up with his arms above his head before bending backwards in a dramatic stretch until his head skimmed the water again.

Steve couldn't tear his eyes away, didn't want to tear his eyes away--which is probably why he completely missed Tony standing up straight and glaring daggers at him.

“You gonna watch me all day like a perv or did you actually have something to say?” Tony called and Steve shook himself from less...appropriate thoughts and raised an eyebrow suggestively to hopefully erase the longing expression on his face.

“Just admiring the view.” He let his gaze drop obviously, hiding his smirk when Tony's face flamed red. “King size bed, indeed, hm?”

He turned away so he wouldn't laugh at the outraged look Tony was definitely sending his way. “Come on. If you’re done being a bathing beauty and distracting the fishes, we need to go.”

He could hear Tony muttering angrily as he collected his clothing and patted himself dry, and Steve just smiled to himself as they grabbed their packs and checked their campsite one last time for anything left behind before heading out.

He had forgotten how much fun it was to make Tony blush.

*********************** “So.” Tony raised his voice so Steve could hear him. “So the Brooklyn hottie on the phone. He's yours?”

“Buck?” Steve hesitated barely before answering, and Tony caught it, wondered about it. “Why do you ask?”

“Rumlow said something about your Brooklyn boyfriend. I figured he must mean Bucky because I can't imagine you have two men in your squad that talk like that.”

“Right.” Steve huffed a laugh. “My Brooklyn boyfriend. Uh, no. Bucks my best friend. We were in the service together back in the day.”

“Hm. Interesting.”

“I'd give you his number but pretty boys aren't really his style.” Steve added and he could almost feel the glare on his shoulders.

“Thanks for that.” Tony said irritably, and Steve smiled.

He just didn't know if he was smiling because of getting in a jab at Tony-- which was always satisfying-- or because Tony hadn't pressed the issue of the ‘Brooklyn hottie’.

Tony was not Bucky's to date. Not if Steve had anything to say about it.

*********************** *********************** “So. You and Brooklyn were in the service? Same group or--?”

“Yep.” Steve ducked under a low hanging branch. “Bucky and I joined together, trained together, shipped out together.”

“Didn't come home together though?” Tony nearly tripped over a log, barely managing to catch himself, and glad that for once Steve hadn't turned around to check on him. The constant glances were disconcerting, and Tony couldn't ever quite read the look in his eye. It was somewhere between concerned and interested and protective-- and it was keeping Tony on edge.

“No, Tony. I was invalidated out of the Army, remember?”

“Shit.” Tony ran a hand over his face. “Shit, your foot. No, your heel. Shattered calcaneus.”

“Yeah, that's right.” Steve nodded. “I'm surprised you remember.” Then he laughed. “Actually I'm not surprised. After seeing what kind of things you know, I'm sure you could tell me exactly what's destroyed in my foot and the exact procedure needed to put it back together.”

Tony opened his mouth to rattle off the information-- that the calcaneus was the largest of the tarsal bones in your foot, lying below the three bones that make up an ankle bone. Calcaneus is connected to the talus, forming the subtalar joint. Shattering your calcaneus can be as easy as landing wrong on a short jump or as bad as getting your foot run over and--

But then he stopped, pulling himself back before he blurted all of that entirely unneccesary information, and asked something different instead.

“It's killing you, isnt it?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re basically running through the jungle with me anyway.”

“It's got to be done Tony. Not gonna let something like a hurt foot stop me from keeping you safe.”

“You have a metal plate holding your foot together!” Tony protested, and Steve shrugged without turning around, dodging a big rock, then holding his hand back out behind him to help Tony around it.

Tony rolled his eyes and slapped his hand away. “Not a damsel in distress, Rambo. But thanks. And again, metal plate holding your foot together. How are you---”

“Tony.” Steve stopped then, turning around so quickly that Tony almost smacked into his chest. “I'm not gonna let something like a hurt foot stop me from keeping you safe. Got it?”

“Yeah.” Tony nodded jerkily. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Then let’s keep going.”

****************** ****************** “Tony, come here, I want to show you something.” When they stopped for lunch, Steve gave Tony barely enough time to eat his food before calling him over.

“What's up?” Tony wiped his hands on his pants, unable to help from sending a concerned glance at Steve’s feet. He had forgotten about Steve's injury, the whole reason he had been sent home with a Purple Heart at twenty four. He didn't really know the story, Steve had been injured on a mission, classified and all that, but he did remember Steve limping after long days at the site, soaking his foot in ice to numb the constant pain.

Tony couldn't believe he had forgotten that.

“Stop thinking about my foot and pay attention.” Steve scolded and Tony rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Sorry. I just--” he motioned awkwardly. “I can't believe I didn't think about that, about how bad you must be hurting.”

“It's fine. Now listen up. I know you know a lot about big guns.” Steve placed an empty water bottle on a rock a short distance away. “But knowing about them doesn't mean knowing how to use them and I want you to know to shoot my gun just in case anything happens. The rifle is easy, point and shoot and spray the bullets wherever you want. Handguns you actually have to be more focused with, so while we are this far from the river and no one's going to hear, I want you to try it out, okay?”

“Steve, I don't think--”

“Do you trust me, Tony?” Steve interrupted. “Sarcasm and all our history and everything that's happened aside, do you trust me to keep you safe? Right now, in this situation, do you trust me to keep you safe.”

“Yes.” Tony didn't even hesitate, and Steve didn't really have the time to think about how good that made him feel.

“Alright. Then trust me when I say this is important. You need to know how to shoot my gun in case anything happens to me.”

“Fine.” Tony sighed and moved closer. “I'll give it a try if you insist.”

“I'm insisting. This is my personal gun.” Steve pulled it from his back holster, a beautiful matte black piece with a strip of wood up the grip. “I carry it everywhere. It's a 1911 .45, it's usually standard issue for military personnel, but I loved it during my time as a soldier so I purchased one for myself. A lot of guys keep to the 9mm but I prefer the .45 for more power. You only have to put one or two bullets into someone to put them down. It holds---”

“Eight rounds.” Tony interrupted and held his hand out for the gun. “Seven in the standard capacity magazine and one--” he opened the slide and checked for a bullet. “--one in the chamber. Very traditional of you, keeping the standard mag, I'd expect you to have the high capacity mag or at the very least the aftermarket size. Manual safety, can't be too careful can we? Safety first and all that. Nice recoil, but nothing as big as some of the others out there, though certainly enough to catch someone off guard if they don't know what they are doing.”

“However, I--” Tony popped the safety off, turned and fired off three shots in quick succession, obliterating the water bottle where it sat. “-- I know what I am doing. And since I am sure you keep your sights perfectly lined, I should have no problem putting a bullet in someone's brain should the occasion arise.”

“Jesus Christ, Tony.” Steve's jaw was just hanging open, and he glanced down before coughing and turning away so it wouldn't be quite so visible exactly how much he had enjoyed that little display.

Tony with guns. Who knew?

Tony grinned at him knowingly before clicking the safety back on and handing him the gun again. “Thanks for the demonstration Steve.”

“How do you know… no wait. Why would you know all that?” Steve holstered the weapon. “I mean, that was… that was good, Tony. That was---” his voice trailed off and Tony looked at him curiously.

“Well, Stark Tech made weapons for decades, you know? Even though dad got away from it in his later years, it is still what we are most famous for. You can't grow up as a Stark and not know your way around guns. And the whole genius thing? Plus, Jarvis had a 1911 he taught me how to shoot. He wanted to make sure I could take care of myself if he wasn't around.”

“Jarvis your butler?” Steve asked incredulously and Tony chuckled.

“I didn't think you would remember me talking about him. Sure, Jarvis my butler. If by butler you mean someone who trained SEALS and Black Ops teams in combat technique on his days off.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I know. Who would have thought someone so dangerous was hiding behind a bow tie?”

Steve kept sending glances Tony's way as they packed up the remains of their food, his eyes lingering on Tony's mouth, down to his arms and lower and Tony found himself torn between staying silent and just letting Steve look, or saying something snarky and ruining the moment.

It was nice to have Steve looking at him like… that. Nice and a little confusing but still flattering he supposed. But at the same time, snarky was just more what they were going for so--

“Something on your mind, Cap?” Tony challenged. “I can almost hear the gears grinding from here, and is that smoke coming out of your ears?”

Steve ignored the sarcasm and audibly gulped before answering. “I just… I thought I knew you so well, back then. I thought I knew everything about you, and I'm realizing I don't know you at all.”

“Is that a problem?” Tony was thrown for a loop by the seriousness of Steve’s tone.

“No. Not a problem. It's just… interesting.” Steve looked at him for another few seconds before lifting his pack. “I like it, Tony.”

Tony followed him back into the woods, unsure of what to say about any of that.

****************************** ****************************** “Do you think we will be there tomorrow?” Tony asked as they sat around a very small fire, heating only enough water to make their MRE’s. “The village, I mean. Do you think we will make it by sundown?”

“Day after, most likely.” Steve sighed. “Having to dodge both the rivers and the roads makes it more difficult, that's for sure. We just can't risk being seen, so slow and steady it will have to be. We are making decent time though. I bet we did over ten miles today. Not a fast as it would be by the river or the road, but fast enough.”

“But you know we are going the right way?” Tony pressed and when Steve nodded, he leaned back against the rock at his back. “That's fine then. The hiking sucks and my feet are killing me and my back is--”

“Complain some more, Tony. That's real productive, thank you.” Steve rolled his eyes and Tony glared at him.

“I was actually going to say that all that sucks, but at least we haven't ran into Rumlow’s goons, and your company is easier to be around than I thought it would be, but now maybe I'll take the last part back.”

“Ugh.” Steve groaned and stretched out on the ground, his head on his pack. “Why do we do that? Why are we having a decent conversation one minute and the next are snapping at each other? Doesn't that make you crazy? It makes me crazy. I just want to be able to talk to you. Why can't we just talk?”

“I know.” Deflated, Tony picked at a thread on his jeans. “But I don't think either one of us are sure which lines we can and cannot cross with each other. We can't just joke around like we used to because there’s too much other crap that happened. And we can't just be polite because neither one of us have ever been much more than snarky bastards.” He smiled faintIy. “I mean, it's not like we’re strangers in the woods together. There’s history and drama and memories and--and you know.” he motioned between them. “Whatever else is happening.”

“We are sort of strangers.” Steve countered. “I admitted earlier that I feel like I don't really know you. So we could say we are strangers and just start over. I will admit that my first reaction to you wasn't… awesome... so lets erase that and try again.”

“But we can't really do that, can we?” Tony's voice sounded strained. “And since we aren't really strangers, I mean sure, a balance together would be hard to find anyway even in a normal situation, much less with all this shit going on.”

“So, what are we supposed to do to fix this… balance? What can we do?” Steve caught Tony's gaze, watching him steadily. “What do you want to do about it, Tony?”

“I feel like that's a topic for when we aren't running for our lives.” Tony wet his lips anxiously. “And not something we actually need to talk about ever so---” he waved off the rest of whatever he was going to say and tilted his head back to look through the tree canopy to the sky above him, counting the stars he could see, mentally trying to place any constellations he could make out.

“I used to love when you did that.” Steve said several minutes later, his eyes now firmly on the small fire. “Used to drive me crazy. Could watch you do it forever.“

Tony sighed, ran a hand through his hair and braced himself for some more of the surprisingly cutting sarcasm Steve had picked up since they saw each other last. “And what’s that, Captain Rogers? What could I possibly be doing right now at this very moment that used to drive you crazy?”

Steve chuckled at the bite in Tony’s tone, and folded his arms behind his head. “You used to sit by the fire and stare up at the stars at night after all the work was done and dishes were put away. You’d whisper the names of the constellations because they were different ones than you see in New York. And then you would smile in this…. I don’t know. Sort of soft way and bite your lip like the stars were telling you secrets and they were making you laugh. And I always wanted to ask you what they were whispering to you.”

Oh. Tony blinked in surprise. Out of everything Steve could have said, Tony hadn't been expecting something sweet or--or-- nostalgic or anything like that.

And it weirded him out. So he cleared his throat and-- “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Tony snorted. “Stars don’t tell secrets.”

“Yeah but if they did–” a heavy sigh from Steve and Tony hated himself– HATED himself– for looking, for watching that ridiculous chest rise and fall, for wanting to lean closer to that deep voice and into those big arms.

“If they did tell secrets–” Steve said again and he smiled before closing his eyes. “They would tell them to you.”

“Why’s that?” Tony asked, even as he told himself not to, even as he tried to convince himself he didn’t care.

“You’re so beautiful Tony, even the night sky wants to reach out and know you. You’ve always been beautiful. Ten years hasn't changed that.”

“I'm-- I'm what? You think I'm beautiful?”

“You heard what I said.” was Steve's answer and silence fell over their little campsite, heavy and full and Tony didn't know what to say, didn't even know where to begin to think about what Steve had just… admitted to.

Finally he cleared his throat and said, “Alright, so you said something nice and it's my turn to turn it sarcastic and move the moment along, right? That sounds like what we do lately. Balance, right?”

“Sure Tony.” Steve sighed. “That sounds about right. Go ahead and lay something sarcastic out there.”

“Okay. Uh, is your big ass sleeping outside to keep the fire going all night?”

“Nope. Fully planning on being squeezed into that tent with you.”

“Damn shame, that.” Tony commented and across the fire, Steve smiled just the tiniest bit.

“Damn shame.”

*************************

@kloudbby @inkykloud @dogressa @hopeiseethegoodstuff @sopherfly @mariesbookblog @kagenightray @godlygeniusesofsoldiersarchers @bornwithgasolineheart @kokoburn @the-superhero-under-your-bed @susieeslei @subject-a5-byrn @petronellarose @chrys-1029 @polizwrites @sultrypickle @shadowedsoulforever @cheetacute @missingart10 @smolstarkrogers @ajanamyth @tstilcr @griseldaevn @coffee-and-cookies @sassassin256 @singingwithoutwords @midnight-rose1216 @deppfan16 @grayblooded @kiernaserea @liminy-lemony @bun-fun @ponybird12 @ims0vain @musicianriska @jasminespook @the-crazy-house @numbahoneviola @catpuppy1 @kaci1ynn @aurora-bet @triniannie82 @surefuckitanyhow

@julietheg @my-halo-is-a-little-broken @lazyamara @idkmantoomanyships@babypinkbunny @lilwitchybee @agenderraskel @phantom-cat43e @queen-purple-jay @briellasophia @loverofloki1974 @random-nicte @maddnesskeepsmesane @darkangelalex @sarcasmic-toast @itsagentromanoff @skye-wright @crystallized-iron @quietlyaz @thereaderandwriterwithin @hodginsismylife @ryuukoandmegami @warriorofbooks @groovyaviator @thelegendofjuice @blogmarinnakaciasuniverse @elegantcollectivefan @here-there-be-feels @throughhollowedeyes @anzu-rokku @blackhearted @queendophne @junostarkromanoff @contemporary-lover @i-am-irxnmxn   @randomfandomweirdo @warfstache88 @fandoms-and-things-003 @stronglysarcasticsuperwoman @a-very-fluffy-bunny @holla-backgirl  @mrunaliniraman @redqueenblue @ibreathebooks-42 @youarenewformetoo @arbitermortis @cookiespandasandrandomthings @summerpipedream @pootie-and-the-snoots @larissaloki @sarusa15 @kirroyalefrost @ccrosey96 @sweetwaffles26 @ulnusilmukka

@lionheartwithnoking @gamemaker954 @myfriendstellmeimweird @llamamamma @musicgodess153622 @riren1827 @tv-rex @turtledisc @justyouraveragefandomthrash @sashmolly @endof-theline @itsallyd @valiantkittenwitch @iwannabebrilliant @miss-kitty-fantastico @iona-laia @sindotexe @lordhenrywotton1234 @darsita101 @cuelynn @ss2695 @bronwynhillside @giggling-breeze @wingedparadisedreamer @chaoskeks @hirik0 @kaleenjackson @elizapotato @dgirl207 @pigeons-official @spookytheoristpuppy @galax1ea @miramickey @misadventurousmongooses @ivap99 @cutedarkcreepy @catchingthefox @tydagoon @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @wintersfavechild @readallthethings @zuretha-metal @buckarooo @girlwithbluenails @happy-but-you-dont-know-it @mr-yourki @rospergs @losttales33 @moonandstarsandcolors @tato398 @alyssimorior @hazelbeatsturtle @dayzor @goldskyworld @te-double-gz @goawayid @puddingpong @lifehappens-4242 @anamendob @thekristastrophe @louloutttelea @blaizeartist @chikairyuk @the-ice-goddess @goodtanaba @llamaswithhatsthings @teddycaca @monithesaint @adevilcalled @rosesnblueberries @forcedhabits @zuretha-metal @ihavemymomentsstill @marveltsums @superlepato @drarrydarling @tracingmemories13

#ncts fics #stony #tony stark #steve rogers #buried au #beareded!steve #snarky!tony

[tsurvivorbelize]

S88E1: “Her Name Is Actually Emily” - Kyle

The premiere of Tumblr Survivor 88: Belize takes 18 new castaways to the heart of the jungle and start their journey to become the newest Sole Survivor.

This episode covers DAYS 1 & 2. 

Honestly? I’m kinda loving this game. Everyone on my tribe seems really cool, and we’re seemingly working together well. Normally I enjoy some drama and getting my hands dirty a bit early on but based on first impressions with this tribe? I don’t think I’d mind if we all got our to merge- then again it’s just day 1, by day 10 I’ll probably be begging for a swap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efa-NmW_vnQ&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/RR37pTsKF-w

I'm already getting shady and good vibes .I'm worried already but I hope things can get better

I’m super excited, idk how I feel about my tribe...idk I feel like not many people I will connect with but imma have to fake it until I make it

So I just spent the past few hours talking to everyone on the tribe and nearly forgot we had a challenge 🤷‍♂️. So yeah, I don’t think anyone is going to peg me as the brains of any operation, and I’m starting to think maybe I need to be assigned the “Very easy” puzzle. That’s not because I forgot we had a challenge though, that’s just because I’m stupid.

So at this point there is 3 people in my tribe who already know each other! At this the 3 left in the tribe could join forces and force a tie, which I find very risky at this point, or we could just suck those 3 ass and try to be in the majority alliance with them.

Good afternoon (although the time right now is 7am in Belize so I guess good morning) from the lovely Minanha tribe, and holy shit. I know Survivors are based around luck, but lucking out on having two guys I've known for about 5-6 years on my tribe as immediate easy allies is fantastic. Spike, I met through Minecraft UHCs years ago, where I teamed with him in one of my first games and it was great, and Adam I met through an SMP server run by somebody you guys may all know, Bodhi/Goldcap, and then I basically introduced Adam to a bunch of my other friend groups. Through this, there's a beautiful time to be had for this tribe and I'm just infinitely hoping that Adam and Spike don't stab me in the spine.

Hey so first day or 2 in tribe has been good, I like everyone! It helps I know Katy and Spike but also like I don't want that to put a target on our backs, and it'd be unfair to just work with those I already know, I will do but if needed I can be ruthless. Hopefully we win this challenge and then see what happens, if it goes to tribal well, that's when it gets interesting.

Spike and Axe have both accidentally said racial slurs without realising they'd said racial slurs because they'd never heard of them before and they made them both by just combining my name with Spike's name. Oh no. This tribe is fucked and we're all gonna die.

https://youtu.be/xUvO_y05KNQ

MY FRIENDS ARE FIGHTING ABOUT BRIE LARSON NOOOOOOOOOO.

https://youtu.be/HlsfD_JvUrs

When the hosts make a comment about adding hosts to alliance chats, and you then assume it means that alliances have sprouted.......then you realize you had three people ask you to work together, but alliances typically consist of 3 or more people and include a chat with those people......... Then you realize that means the probability of people disliking you is high and you’ve solidified your first boot status 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay so my tribe is a pretty decent I guess. Brien Weber isnt the kind of girl I like to be honest. He betrayed me and I voted him out my last org so this should be fun! Emily talks like a robot too btw? My closest ally is definitely Kyle. We have a lot in common and he thinks i'm cute so it's easy to flirt with him to get on my side. Taylor and Scott arent bad either. I'm building my relationship to them- maybe they could potentially turn into future allies for me :)

I think im gonna vote matt cause he doesn't talk much

https://youtu.be/VIheM4S1IHw

- I can’t believe I looked at Cas’ photo and thought he was an old white woman....my bad

- Aaron is really starting to turn me off. He’s acting crazy about voting off David. I mean I’m finna do it so I’m not a target but I got my eye on him.

https://youtu.be/1qEEEchOOqM

- So a few of my friends decided to take a trek into these temples and came back out with punishments and disappointment. However my lucky self came out with a no vote pass to give away to someone else. So if someone gets testy and decides to be shady as shit, then I'll gladly revoke their voting privileges! :D

- I really like my tribe. I'm getting really close with some people too! Like Jarret, he's like my best friend in the game right now and always makes me laugh. Then  Brien is my drinking buddy, Olivia, I mean Emily is my fellow Michigander, Taylor is my comedy bud, and Scott is my strategy co-conspirator.

- Okay, I keep telling everyone I'm not tired, but I'm fucking tired. Being social is exhausting. I should let everyone hate me and not give a shit if I'm honest.

https://youtu.be/TWCyhqBxyG8

https://youtu.be/gWjLMsOGjvs

- So, as luck would have it, I'm the only person on my tribe who got 3 points from that puzzle challenge, but even that was real close against Brien from No Vaxx or whatever that tribe is called. I wasn't sure what kind of scores to expect from anybody in this game, as I'm used to people who tryhard the fuck out of challenges rather than just submit a semi-good score, and honestly... these scores still don't tell me much whatsoever. Probably just that I shouldn't underestimate the girl who can do a puzzle in 10 seconds.

-  Veni, who is my host chat friend I've invited in, has raised a hilarious point as well. In every Survivor I've ever played, whether Minecraft or Discord or Twitter, I've never been perceived as a challenge threat before. The closest I ever got was when I stayed awake for 40 hours to win immunity at merge. But with my score here, and being the only person to get 3 points on my tribe... what if I finally, after being shit in other Survivor challenges for years, end up being a challenge threat? Crikey crikey.

https://youtu.be/wWNdip6Vxpc

-  Skype's auto-responses make me wanna end it.

-  My previous 2 or so confessionals have been submitted as Day 2, I apologise profusely, but anyway... I wanna take a confessional to comment on the guys in the tribe I don't know from outside the game. Christian, Pietro & Gevonte. I've only just managed to speak to Gevonte today, she's been very much busy and inactive but hey, she's here now and very fun to speak to. We've spoken a fair bit about the differences between FB & Discord Survivors, since neither of us have played Tumblr Survivors before (I think???), and with her inactivity I thought she was a sure fire easy first boot for the tribe, but now I'm not so sure. Pietro is a darling as well, and seems to be pretty much the exact same as a mutual me, Axe, Spike & Veni all have called Kaz, who's also from Brazil. Speaks very much the same as Pietro does, they both have the same mannerisms and same level of likeability and ease to speak to, and I think Pietro is a fun ally as well. And then there's Christian. Don't get me wrong, Christian is also very pleasant, very kind and clearly a lovely person to interact with, but when I compare them to my interactions for the first time with Gevonte or Pietro, they're much more... I guess the optimal word would be awkward to speak to. Maybe they're just not good with new people, maybe it's me and my Asperger's being weird, or maybe there's just not good chemistry between us, but I do value Christian, but at this point, based off nothing else because there's nothing else to base it off, I'd choose Christian as the tribe's goat, and the tribe's easy boot moving forward. Then again, I could just back stab Spike ^w^

I’m very concerned for Olivia. Everyone has now been in the talks of alliances, and her name is the only one that hasn’t been mentioned, and that’s not even because her name is actually Emily. They just haven’t brought her up. She’s such a sweetie though, so I really hope she gets some free time to do some more talking.

-  Okay let’s chat. My tribe...pretty lame. David is basically inactive. Cas has the personality of cardboard so far. Jay is actually cool. AARON IS THE MOST. He’s constantly sending me voice messages which idk why it irritates me but it does. Just message me dude. And he is so paranoid! He thinks everybody is always trying to cheat. Idk...where I come people play for fun and don’t aggressively cheat or maybe that’s just me. He’s pressed about not being able to talk cross tribal (dumb). AND he aggressively wants David out because he’s worried since David knows Madison he might log on to her phone or she might leak info to help him cheat. Boy bye. I’m not going to do anything about him yet because the beauty of being in a new community is I can play dumb like idk what I’m doing and I’m really trying to capitalize and act wholesome. Yikes when the confessional comes out 😅. But oh well. I’m just going to let Aaron explain how to play to me and coast through until I can reach Gevonte who will be my for real ride or die.

-  Madison is pretty.

Tumblr Survivor: Belize, condragulations, you are the winner.

So it's been almost a full round and.... I'm only JUST now talking to most of my tribe lmfaoo. Skype is so weird. Just it being on a different platform makes socializing weird for me. Because I have to remember skype exists. On top of that, everyone else on the tribe seems not all that talkative in and of itself. Granted I know I wasnt tosking all that much either, but since we're safe I need to spend the next few days making connections or else I'm just gonna be another nameless flop. And I've done TOO much of that on FB as it is!

Day 2 and everyone has gone mad already, talking about drag queens and other pop culture stuff.

https://youtu.be/uYl2b48z5GA

https://youtu.be/da7YR2Uz08A

Why does Christian keep asking me about my toilet?

#episode #confessionals

[magalamantle]

HEY HERES some longass fucking shit!!!! about my settings for ocs for a p5 continuation/sequel/etc!!!!!!!!! just kind of. expanding on stuff i guess lol!!! the first one is the longest and the one im most interested in expanding on ideas for ocs on but anyway :Y

IDEA ONE:

'palaces': garden, zoo, restaurant, temple, courthouse, funhouse, bunker, garden, graveyard, safari, library, museum(not art gallery)

an emphasis not so much based on heists or stealing or treasure. instead the intention is to destroy the heart of it to reveal what the place "actually is". the whole intention becomes revelling in the large-scale destruction of different chunks of the bases, before eventually defeating the person at the heart of it.

not knowing the exact individual whose construct it is, has to infiltrate and work way into the place in order to follow clues - more like a detective than anything else.

characters access nav not through going to a specific location but via "dreams" - peeks into the human unconsciousness, cant really control when they go into or come out of constructs, are just kind of dropped in whichever location is selected in a list on the app before they sleep. therefore, players are lead into dungeons without fully knowing what theyre doing - theyre kind of placed into more of a mystery detective thing, trying to figure out why theyve been placed in each area, kind of what they have to do in order to escape cause like otherwise theyre placed in the area literally every night and cant do much about it lol. basically as long as theyre contributing (according to some unspoken rules) theyre fine in terms of sleep, but if they refuse to cooperate theyre basically sleepless, which really really impacts some of them until they end up basically having to act.

each area basically introduces a new playable character via waking a construct version of them in someone elses palace. like literally waking them up.  

it takes like the first full dungeon for them to register that it isnt just a weird same dream that theyre having and that like. the real person whose cognitive world they broke is affected, and in the wake of the whole "shadow thieves of hearts" thing its kind of terrifying because theyre like "oh god we destroyed that place what if weve killed someone" but it seems to have a different effect on individuals than previous, but its still. really weird.

eventually they kind of register that the worlds and people presented are getting bigger and scarier for them to have to deal with, and that its kind of like. training them??? especially since the targets theyre being given are getting more grey morally, and more just given to them because the task is just more difficult rather than more important.

anyway on their journey thats eventually mementos that they end up in when theres really no big mission for them to do, and they like explore it n shit. it feels totally different from the other worlds, cause its kind of this... weird mishmash? and as the plot continues theyre basically. kind of. its more or less revealed that this mementos isnt the general consciousness as the general consciousness of a select group of individuals - the people who basically set them up in this situation. individuals who used the research on the cognizant world to basically force the protagonists to do their dirty work - starting them with easy missions against people that they would agree with fighting against, and slowly working more into individuals that they wanted to get rid of, tying up loose ends, etc. basically training up a little army to get rid of people for them. this group thats controlling them isnt sending them into their mementos though, that would be a Higher Power

the uh. the group in this has a mascot thats a cute little cartoony puppy!!! that claims that theyre a wolf and cant remember how they got there etc etc. anyway basically it was made as a weird rude parody of morgana, and theyre pretty much a sleeper agent that kind of. gains consciousness as the team applies traits to it pretty much??? either way puppy is pretty much just the shadow council things way of calling the protagonists their dogs lol. something to sic on people they dont like.

IDEA TWO:

the palaces are all... literally different kinds of palaces: from different ages and aesthetics, but all definitely castles and mansions. includes roman palace, victorian mansion, funhouse/theme park castle, gothic mansion, classic medieval castle, etc

more of a kidnapping thing. have to find the master of the house/king/baron/etc and extracate them from the construct - whether a rescue or kidnapping depends on the particular target. this one features a pair of antagonists who only want to use the palaces' treasures for monetary gain - or at least it seems so at the start?? but its actually for a person theyre working for with the intention of studying the cognizant world in order to access the public conscience for what is essentially mass demoralization leading to global shutdown

this one in particular probably features the protags from p5 in a weird way, like. theyre all kind of younger adults in the city, doing stuff, and the new protags kind of interact with them and subtly try to figure stuff out about this whole world and everything about it from them.

IDEA THREE

more of an emphasis on the internet and incredible popularity therein - palaces are all based on internet sensations, big personalities who are secretly doing unsavory things. accessed through whatever website/social media whatever that they use the most.

PALACES in this world are based on VIDEO GAME TYPES. rpg, fps, puzzle games, etc etc etc. still in the kind of stealth, heist format of the actual. u kno. persona 5. but the aesthetics and enemy styles, dungeon setups, etc, npcs/cognitive humans etc are all based on the respective video game type. IMPORTANT: theres a rogue person wandering into peoples cognitive worlds who considers it all genuinely a game, has fun "competing" with the players team to get to the "end boss" first. unfortunately his aim is always outright to kill the boss lol. playable characters' outfits in the palaces change to fit the video game, but follow a general theme for each character.

the way that palaces are accessed more or less through the internet opens up possibilities about the new protags meeting through exclusively the palaces, not knowing each other in real life, etc.

every world contains a specific npc that sort of guides them around n stuff. its literally just akechi. like thats just him. still young. hes just there, in a shitty prince outfit or equivalent, and my excuse is that 1. he die in a really weird way in a really weird place and 2. as an incredibly public figure that was so prevalent in the publics eyes their perception of him kind of kept him floatin around in the sea of human etc etc etc. it might not be FULLY him but hes definitely. there. thats definitely just him standing there, telling them about game stuff. weird af.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Alright, back to Cherubs

for some reason I really want to talk about Cherubs and what their hypothetical kind of society might look like and work like if you ectobiologized a planet full of cherub eggs to sit there and grow together like they did with the humans and trolls in Homestuck’s epilogue

this got very long lol

since the only factor for who lays an egg is “who lost the fight” in this species, but most commonly Cherubs seek out mates because they want to fill the void left behind when their headmates die

It’s probably likely that Cherub’s default sexuality is all 3 alignments being opposite, find a mate whos exactly like your old headmate, triple hetero lol

so then they probably consider anyone who likes another person with any alignment in common as being deviant somehow, and probably wouldnt have a word to differentiate between say, a malexmale pair, a goodxgood pair, or a creationxcreation pair, as they are all same alignment pairs, though the closer you are to dating one like yourself, the weirder its probably seen as

cuz I’m just imagining what would happen on a planet filled with the ecto babies of cherubs, just like how homestuck’s ending had those countries of trolls, humans and carapacians, like what kind of culture would they create?

Calliope is proof that Cherubs can form a kind of social culture if they are specifically raised and socialized into one, its probably still a naturally introverted culture overall though, very individual focused. Your not gonna get huge close groups naturally forming by themselves or staying together for no reason, Cherubs likely only naturally interact with like, coworkers. People they are already around on a regular basis and interact with regularly for other practical reasons

most “friend” groups would be based around a task, or a goal. We are all gathered here today for a specific reason, and once that reason is accomplished we go our separate ways, we work at the burger king together, or we take care of our neighborhood together, or we all like to bicycle this path once a week. but outside of that task never interacting. but again most cherubs outside of this are very introverted individual focused, most don’t need much socialization at all.

funnily enough despite not being a very social species, I can see mixers being increasingly common, larges groups hanging out specifically for the common purpose of finding a compatible partner

definitely one on one interactions are probably the rarest I’d say, unless a person is an established couple

as for their only quadrant being pure Kismesis like, Individual Competition probably stands out as the overall theme of Cherub Society and even in groups with a common goal like coworkers or bicycling together, or students in the same class all there to learn together, the unspoken idea is that everyone in the group is also competing to be the first to reach their shared goal. Coworker of the Month, Highest Marks, Fastest Time etc and It works and doesn’t devolve into a “crabs in a bucket” situation because each individual is focused on bettering themselves only, ignoring the rest as much as possible and only co operating when absolutely necessary, they don’t try to sabotage any of the rest in the group from the shared competitive goal, unless they are SPECIFICALLY flirting and/or dating that individual. Other cherubs who you aren’t specifically interested in barely even get your focus, and helping or being kind to others, aka redrom/palerom stuff is just WEIRD on all fronts

redrom/palerom/grayrom stuff is almost seen like, you giving up on your identity, like you might as well have been dominated by your headmate for how much you exist as an individual because you gave up on competing for the best spot, its weird to an almost concerning degree to other cherubs to witness this sort of behavior, but they wouldn’t be actually concerned, just fundamentally disturbed, redrom is like, you giving up on your own identity (hey other cherub, you all might as well win rather than me!), palerom is you telling someone else that their identity doesn’t matter (comforting, like its okay that you failed, no it isnt, not to cherubs), and greyrom is actually getting in the way of other cherubs building up their identities, (stopping competition between others, getting in the way of someone elses relationship) dominating someone who isn’t your headmate basically, all three of these other quadrants are seen by society cherubs as having very misplaced or malformed, even malicious priorities 

(and thats because redrom/palerom/greyrom stuff happens between cherubs in the same group competing for the same thing. between cherubs who arent competing, it wouldnt happen because nobody interacts with someone they arent competing with in some group in some form. thats why things like cheering for your favorite athlete on a citywide competition is alright, as long as you yourself arent directly competing against them in that same competition at that same time)

large scale country wide competitions of all kinds are hugely pervasive and common events, everything and anything becomes an olympic sport because to Cherubs, because being solidly the best at something is how they affirm their identities and who they are individually

so its like, weirdly reflective of human society, but so fundamentally different as well. Overall the concept of our “friends” doesnt exist much, but they still have things like groups of individuals gathering for a common shared purpose. Just no further attachment to those groups once they’ve served their purpose

Maybe even “Society” itself is seen as one large group that every Individual Cherub is competing in, I wonder what they decided their common goal was for “society?” is it global? based on countries? do different alignment cherubs have different competing political parties with different goals? Creation party versus Destruction party? but something higher must tie all cherubs together society wise, something that they use to self justify why they all co habitate on the same planet like this other than “because we’ve always done this as far as anyone remembers” maybe its all just skilled based, maybe its not destruction versus creation party, but like, sports party versus artistry party versus construction party versus music party etc etc all competing against eachother for recognition of “most skilled” perhaps their leaders are all cherubs who have the highest number of mastered measurable skills, winner of most competitions etc all tv channels are just different flavors of aired competitions

even their news channels is just cherub society documenting and broadcasting to the species how well they are competing with other species on various fronts on various things and what new things have been implemented as a result of upping the competition with other species

maybe cheering for people who you arent directly competing with at the same time is acceptable because of the larger society wide goal? where the society wide overarching goal for every cherub that all cherubs are competing to do the best at is “make cherub society the greatest society, better than any OTHER society” again, a competition, just on a grander scale, so wins that you arent directly involved with as an individual (aka you are a cherub chef cheering at a footrace example) are still wins for the cherub race as a whole, so still technically a win for you, of course, someone who cheers too much at too many different events is still seen as someone who has given up any of their chances at winning at far too many skills. if you cheer for baseball, your acknowledging you arent good at baseball, if you cheer for baking, baseball, running, horseback riding, speech giving and swimming. you’re saying you aren’t good at any of those things, much more damaging to a cherub’s identity. Its understood by cherubs that not every cherub will be skilled at everything (even leaders are just “most” things not, everything,  people who are skilled at everything being more likely highly revered by more of cherub society for at least one of their skills) so being a fan of one or two or three different skillsets is generally accepted, but being a “cheerleader” is just seen as plain unhealthy

as for alignments, they probably get a very huge focus, considering they are broadcast in very loud obvious colors on every cherub, Cherry Red, Lime Green, Blinding White and Jet Black

Male versus Female seems to only subtle or able to be hidden well alignment, but of course its revealed as soon as your breed due to the nature of your childs alignments being based on your own gender

but, since alignments of the next generation only depend on the current generation, and as well as Parenting is definitely less of a singular focus for Cherubs. (I highly doubt individual families exist in a “cherub society”) same alignment pairings probably don’t reflect at all on the baby cherub born, since it would still have its own 3 alignments that have a natural opposite in a different cherub.

Going to families though, again with parenting individuals not being a focus, and rather the common idea of groups coming together for a common purpose. I Find it very likely that every Cherub of a generation is raised together as a group. Like Laying Parents just go back to the hatchery where they themselves were born, drop off their eggs, and go back to their lives. They probably keep documentation of lineages at hatcheries, but I think most cherubs don’t really care to know their exact biological parents/children/Parents don’t keep tabs on their egg after they drop it off. Its reflective of natural cherub “non” society as well, where Cherubs born in isolation out in space are born near a planet that was their laying parent’s birthplace, to be left alone and raise themselves. 

since lineages are documented, same alignment pairings frowned upon, and families not raising individuals, I can see it being very hard for same alignment pairings to raise eggs at all. even if you drop off your egg alone, your child’s alignments will reveal yours or your partners, but maybe in that case it’s better to claim the egg as not your own anyway, that wouldn’t be all that taboo. You can claim you just found an egg out in the wilderness and most Cherubs would assume that mated pair had just been irresponsible with the next generation, whoever they were and the egg would be accepted, but have no lineage. The child itself would be overall unaffected much, especially if cherub society already places not that much importance on who your parents actually were individually

they care about alignment pairings matching up then to keep a balance of all the alignments in existence, they care about it more then on a society affecting scale than an individual affecting scale, “conservative” cherubs might say things like “but if more creation x creation pairs breed than other pairs, creation as an alignment will dominate and destruction as an alignment will cease to exist in all of cherub society, there needs to be a balance of all alignments and the best way to do that is to preserve opposite alignment pairs only” and same alignment pairs are looked down upon purely because they throw the rest of society’s alignment pairs out of balance

 of course the counter-argument is that there are just as many destruction x destruction pairs as creation x creation pairs so society wise it should even out anyway, as well as other facts affect that such as do destruction children tend to dominate their headmates more often than not? so even different alignment pairs’ children can cause an alignment imbalance in society. I imagine there are many nuances to this debate in cherub society, but by and far the most common default way is opposing alignment pairs being generally understood as individuals making sure society stays balanced on their own, rather than individuals relying on society to balance itself out, very heated debates about which is the correct way all around. 

cherub society is very paradoxically individuals all out for themselves and helping nobody versus group efforts to take care of things individuals push onto others to deal with like offspring

But I can see these hatcheries being run by adult cherub group teachers, like theyre the equivalent of boarding schools. Young Cherubs are born there, learn there, socialized there and eventually as adults grow out of there, you don’t have a same grade, but rather a same generation, and your common purpose of being there together, or your common goal, is to be educated

*EDIT* MORE

At first i thought because Switching with your headmate every day is such a widespread occurence, that cherub society might have some allowances for that, like regulating switching times

but then I realized headmates are fundamentally cherubs first competition, the idea isn’t to share headspace equally, but to be the one to dominate over the other in maturity

more time spent being you is more time and effort put into your skills, aka “you” as in your own identity as a cherub

“winning” that milestone and dominating your headmate is seen as formally entering society as a mature cherub, kinda like a bar/bat mitsvah? i guess? because your alignment has been solidified, so you officially “count” as a citizen of that alignment for census/demographic purposes

i remember a tweet convo hussie had saying something like cherub birthdays are very depressing events, so im gonna take that and tweak it slightly so that a Cherub Bar Mitsvah/Domination Day is a recognition of excellence of the one who dominated, as well as a de facto funeral for the one who “died” effectively

and their age/birthday starts counting up from that day. so effectively, cherub “birthdays” can be depressing events, as a potential cherub was still lost on that day (sad by society terms anyways, the cherub in question probably doesnt feel much love lost in their headmate during celebration day, though its canon they do feel an aching loneliness from it) You celebrate your domination anniversary like humans would a birthday, and your number of them celebrated counts as your age

but for cherubs, “age” means “how many year equivalents have you been an adult” (remember Caliborn in canon dominated pre maturely via unnatural sburb means, hes a child in adult pants essentially. normal cherubs dominate upon reaching maturity as noted by Aranea) and essentially cherub “children” are ageless, and age for adults is less a reminder of time spent while alive, and more like a competition, again, a numbered marker of dominance, someone with a higher “age” than you is someone with more experience being an adult citizen than you

but since cherubs tend to mature/dominate at the same rates and ages anyway, its within the same margin of error as with humans ages matching up with actual time spent alive

as for parties in general, I imagine that celebratory ones are competitions where the person being celebrated is placed in the greatest position of power, the judge of whatever competition is taking place. with the type of competition in polite society being one that the celebrated cherub is a fan of, not just because they like rooting for those kinds of competitions, but also because its a bit of a social faux pas to force, say, a cherub chef to present an award acknowledging that another chef is a great chef, on a day that they are supposed to celebrate how great of a chef the judge/celebrated chef is. Like forcing them to watch a competition that directly involves their skills and identities, and not being able to win it, and to put salt in the wound, force them to present an award acknowledging the skills of almost definitely a rival of theirs, almost underhandedly forcing a cherub to admit superiority of someone else in their supposed “skill” on this, the day of their skills being supposedly the great one

and a competiton that a cherub is already a fan of, is one they have already acknowledged they dont have any skill in and thats okay, they decided they didnt need that skill for their identity, so it’s “safe” (a boring/other kind of bad party would be a chef cherub judging the best swimmer when he doesnt particularly cheer for swimming nor participate in it)

so yeah anything that can be celebrated, is usually celebrated in this way

national holidays are just annual/seasonal regula scheduled skill competitions of varying types, like the first snow day of winter being traditional for snow based competition days, or the first rain of autumn for water based sports like swimming or boating etc stuff like that for local holidays. general Olympic type larger competitions that are the same day every year for more national holidays

Can’t decide if cherub weddings is just a competitions with both as judges (with roles like best man for tie breaker) or ultra special competition between the two with the social idea of the “loser” most likely being the one to lay the egg like how humans catch the bouquet to be like oh ho ho ur getting married next n “best man” being the judge judge instead of the tie breaker judge (in more animalistic times this was more a rule than an idea obvs but cherub society is evolved on par with human society)

maybe both?? like the competition between the spouses is like, the equivalent of the “racy” wedding games humans play like get the garter during the afterparty

what the heck do wedding vows look like?? swearing your eternal rivalry??? catching the single ring/object the priest throws up in the air like catching a snitch to seal the deal? playful irritated longmarried spouses constantly stealing the wedding ring/item back and forth between eachother as their symbol of their eternal rivalry

#Cherubs #Cherub #Calliope #Caliborn #Homestuck #holy fuck this 2 and half rambles of shit #still have tons more ideas but this is what I got so far

[avasilvugh]

Outside of their family, how are the kids doing socially? Do they make friends, trust people easily? Do they have a hard time keeping their powers a secret? Does one of their moms being a Luthor affect the way people act around them? How do they deal with their moms kinda being in the public eye?

oof well this started fluffy and got angsty and then got cute again so do with that what u will

so for the most part?  the kiddos do alright!!!  they rlly do, like they’re all enough like kara that ofc they attracts ppl like moths to flame

finn’s like easily one of the most popular kids in school, starting from elementary school and like he’s not one of the traditionally popular boys??  like he’s not a jock and he’s not one of those uber macho dudes but he cares so deeply and fully and like all the girls love him to death and all the uber macho dudes for the most part love him to death as well 

like he’s rlly soft and kind and remembers ppls birthdays and who has a nut allergy so he always makes sure to make a separate safe batch of baked goods for bake sales.  he’s that kid that’s got tabs on everyone and knows who is having a bad week and who might need someone to eat with at lunch and he makes it look so fun to be nice??  that he just manages to lead by example and national city prep academy is a nicer place for him being in it

maia’s that ride or die friend like she’s super intense and kind of scary tbh but god when she picks you, she Picks you and she’ll keep picking you, keep standing up for you, keep vehemently defending u until her dying day tbh like she loves so much like kara, once she sees the good in you, once she’s decided ur one of her ppl, she’ll fight everyone in her sight for u and that is so wildly appreciated, like she has all the girls at school wanting to have her on their side, in their corner and the best thing is that she is, she will be, no questions asked

like??  she’s not half as soft as finn but she’s just as caring, just as loving and she like??  doesnt have a cult following, but she definitely is that hot ass senior that has all the underclassmen stumbling over themselves bc she nodded at one of them in the hall during passing period and stella dies a little inside bc all her friends are in love with maia to some degree

stella is the one that struggles the most socially??  bc everyone loves finn and maia doesnt give a shit if some ppl dont like her, barely notices it, but stella is a little quieter and a little bit different and she kind of weirds ppl out bc she’s just as intense as maia but she doesnt have the cool factor, she stumbles over her feet and stammers and gets easily overwhelmed and most ppl get a little weirded out by how stella always seems to know how they’re feeling??  can sort of predict whats coming in a conversation???

but god when she makes friends, they are so so protective of her.  like??  stella is disliked by a lot of ppl, is a pretty easy target but her friends love her so so deeply bc she knows how to help them best, is v careful with their feelings in a way that not a lot of kids think to be u know??  she’s not the most popular, but she’s p well insulated by the time she hits high school, has a rlly solid group of friends that stick close to her

this kind of goes hand in hand with the first part but here’s some other anecdotes lmao

finn makes friends so so easily like that boy walks into a room and within the first ten minutes he’s already got five new friends like??  he’s probably one of those student ambassadors, shows all the new kids around the campus tbh and like for sure has brownies or something to give them

like???  he’s for sure voted mr congeniality.  For Sure.  he collects friends and favors so easily and so quickly and he loves them all so much, you would think that maybe some friendships arent as deep as others and that’s true, but that doesnt mean he doesnt love those friends just as much, wouldnt drop what he’s doing to go pick them up bc their car died on the highway

that said, he doesnt trust super easily??  like he’s p wary in general, a little more suspicious of ppl than he ever lets on.  like it takes him a Long time to rlly ever tell his rlly close friends any big details abt himself.  it takes him even longer to ever invite ppl over to the house, even tho his moms are like you can??  pls do??  have a childhood kiddo

maia takes a little longer to make friends i think??  but that’s more a matter of her not noticing someone is trying to be friends with her, like she’s sort of above it all a lot of the times, often wrapped up in her own head.  but like i said, she’s p intense so once she’s noticed, she’ll dive in head first like all in, ride or die

and its so funny bc she is so so like non-plussed by things like what movie to see or stuff like that, she’s kind of a rlly great friend without meaning to??  like oh, yall were planning to do a mall night but ur period started and u dont have the energy and now u just want to lie around and eat ice cream??  she’ll pick up ur fave flavors and probably a couple redbox rentals and is down for a movie night, maybe becomes ur favorite person in that exact moment

she actually trusts ppl more easily than finn, if only bc generally the ppl that are more insistent abt actually getting to know her, not just that scary person she puts forward are usually ppl that genuinely care abt her and want the best for her??  that said, she gets in with a bad crowd and dates this super fucking awful abusive asshole that sort of destroys that innate trust for a while.  she gets it back eventually, thanks to those friends she had before the entire experience, who stood by her even when she tried to push them away

stella takes the longest to make friends??  she’s like that shy kid in the corner that wont make eye contact but when she does u feel like she’s probably seen ur soul and knows all ur secrets (which....techincally she doesnt see souls and only knows maybe four or five of ur secrets) but she’s rlly sweet and v earnest and ppl sort of find her endearing after a while

like??  she finally finds her ppl when she joins the drama department and switches soccer teams and gets into debate and starts a chess club, like??  when she starts actually embracing who she is and not trying to model herself after maia or finn or kara or lena, when she sort of loses herself in doing things that are actually interesting to her and not just what gets her the least negative responses from other ppl, she makes so many friends !!!  like girl just has to get out of her own head sometimes

of the three kiddos, she definitely trusts the easiest, just bc like??  she knows what ppls intentions are, knows when someone’s hiding something from her or has ulterior motives for trying to befriend her.  like most of the work is done for her just at first meeting like she rlly doesnt have to worry too much abt trusting ppl

they all sort of struggle with hiding their powers??  some more than others for sure

like finn probably struggles more than maia??  bc maia keeps taking that power-suppressant all through school, but finn wants to learn to control himself, wants to not be as dependent on something else to make him more human, safer for others to be around.  so he wears the glasses and softens his touch and makes sure he never moves too quickly, gives up on sports and works hard to never get angry, never let the hum of his heat vision get too distracting 

its rlly hard when he’s around his friends, harder when he starts dating, bc other ppl dont have to worry abt the stuff he has to worry abt??  like he has to have like a lot of talks with kara abt it bc he gets overwhelmed a lot, worries a lot abt accidentally hurting someone he loves

maia on the other hand struggles more with the lying??  like she has this ride or die mentality and it fucks her up that she cant tell the ppl she trusts this giant secret abt her, this thing that defines her existence??  Fucks Her Up tbh like.....she’s like a vault, her friends confess all their shit to her and she hates that she cant do the same??  cant do that without endangering her brother and sister and moms and, rlly, her entire family and she’s not going to do that, wont ever do that

so like she struggles with that, but the actual powers part of it isnt as big of a thing for her bc she keeps taking the suppressant bc she just??  doesnt trust herself not to.  doesnt trust the power in her hands, like she wont take it on the weekends bc thats when kara trains her and finn, takes them to the deo to spar but during the week, when she doesnt have kara’s steady presence to ground her, finn’s quiet hand at her shoulder to stop her when she’s about to go too far

stella struggles with it but its different??  like she’s not hiding superhuman strength or the ability to fly or anything so conspicuous, but she has to like.....constantly monitor what she says and how she acts towards ppl that dont know like??  ppl get kind of weirded out when she knows stuff abt them or like....knows their heart or some shit when they’ve only rlly known each other for a few months

that said, she also gets away with a whole lot by just saying she’s rlly empathetic with this weird little smirk that her friends think is just her poking fun at the fact that she can be kind of spacey and not super aware abt other stuff all the time but lol little do they know

i mean??  at school??  most ppl dont know like she’s mrs danvers or (insert kiddos name)’s mom and like especially in elementary school, she’s not the one at pta meetings bc she knows what will happen if other parents see her and make the connection??  so its usually kara and she usually flies under the radar, like ppl kind of know that she’s the kara danvers from page six, wife of lena luthor and doing the gala circuit when needed, but no one ever like rlly registers it ya know??

likes the kiddos friends kind of put it together but she’s still just mrs danvers to them, their friends rlly cool mom that helps them do these rlly awesome science experiments when they come over and are bored.  a couple ppls parents find out and refuse to let their kids go over anymore and the kids dont understand why and lena like.....lost tbh.  like how does she explain that??  how does she let them know its her fault, that she did this to them by association and for that she is truly sorry

but like the kiddos rlly just let it roll of their backs like it only happens maybe a handful of times and their friends are still their friends at school

but like??  when they get older, they get more vocal, like??  they’re proud of their mother and theyre so fucking sick of hearing the weird, awful comments ppl make about luthors whenever lex winds up in the news again and maia reaches a point of just FUCK OFF levels of anger, starts screaming IM A LUTHOR TOO, MOTHERFUCKER when she tackles someone in the hallway after hearing superman should do the world a favor and just get rid of that entire rats nest during passing period and that’s sort of what outs them all

things change a little after that??  like most of their friends stick around, but there is definitely a wariness towards the danvers kiddos after that, but they bear it with pride, like finn and stella arent upset in the slightest.  like??  so they lost a couple friends; good, better leave now bc they love their mom a whole hell of a lot more than those ppl and that’s never going to change

like??  they rlly arent that aware of the weird spotlight they live in for a while when they’re small, particularly maia and finn like......kara and lena kept their relationship rlly rlly quiet for a long time.  like??  no one knew they were an item until they rlly needed to come out and say it, and then they got engaged and married rlly quietly, just family and lena kept her name professionally so no one rlly knew.  and they kept her pregnancy under wraps, not necessarily hiding??  but just not announcing it either and quite honestly the press doesnt know abt finn until some opportunistic pap gets a shot of kara and lena with little roly poly finn at the park, looking every bit the deliriously happy family they are.  its much the same for maia, with no one outside of their little circle of friends and family knowing abt her until someone catches a picture of them with two little ones, not one.  and like stella??  hell, stella doesnt rlly get a debut until she’s nearly four tbh and its bc she v seriously asks to be lena’s date to her gala and like how was lena going to say no to that request

that said, when they get older, they’re kind of prime targets for some asshole opportunistic paps to swarm and try and get quotes from, try and smear the luthor name some more.  lena issues a no nonsense statement that she’s fair game, but her children are off limits.  catco worldwide issues a similar statement, that the family lives of their reporters are not open for discussion and that such targeting of children is a reprehensible act that has no place in journalism

that helps, that and the ruthless way their family encircles them, fights the press and tabloids and fights to give the kiddos as normal of a life as possible.  and like???  they rlly do.  there’s a couple incidents where the heightened scrutiny was noticeable, but mostly??  the kiddos rlly dont notice, just flip the newspaper over when its lex on the front page or switch whatever gossip show off when the topic comes round to lena, little things like that that help them live as normally as they can

#supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #superbabies #anonymous #human interaction

[drarryislifebetch]

STORY TIME!

I've just been wanting to get this out because it's been stuck in my head for a while now and I don't think I can hold it in (+_+)

( Tw: abuse, self harm )

So anyways, back in around August/September 2018 I was added to this one group chat by a mutual friend and already felt out of place. I spoke to ONE person and that was about it. We bonded over questionable things for people who barely know each other things like casual flirting, kinks and what not. In the beginning it was all she wanted to talk about (we both are girls) and it would always end in me asking sorry for whatever reason and her acting up and just making me feel like shit in general.

She's around 2-3 years younger than me and she was 14 when we first spoke. Yeah I didn't know she was that young until much later. And we'd be talking random shit, we got pretty close but she never once showed me her face. Understandable tho, I wouldn't advise you to go sending pics of you to someone you've been talking to for just a month. We shared our stories, gossiped, bitched about ppl we hated and what not. But we tried to talk as much as possible despite the time zones.

She had this one friend. She's 14 ig? Prolly 15 now idek. So one day, my mutual told me she was hanging out with her best friend (Lee) and she kept sending me pics and videos of the girl. I just thought, hey friends doing weird shit together, nothing much. I replied that Lee was cute. A 14 year old child, I didn't think any other way. She just kept on sending me pics and videos and I told her to stop, it wasn't good. She did.

Lee texted me not even a few minutes later. She's like Hey, heard you been calling me cute sup. And I'm like yea you are a cute girl. She took the compliment tho, she said she wanted to get to know me better. And this is where I made a mistake. I thought probably we'd just get along and talk, the three of us. but she had other plans.

We talked a lot, she got to know I was Bi from my mutual, I told her I was, and asked her why. she just let it be. Then after we started talking for a while, my mutual (let's just call her Ri), To texts me she needed my help and that Lee liked someone. I was down to help. They kept me waiting and I eventually found out they were talking about me.

Lee liked me.

This is the first time someone, let alone another girl, has told me they liked me and I was just blank. She told me I made her Bi. And she really wants to be more than friends with me. I didn't know how to respond and I just told her I needed to think about it. She just replied okay, and Ri was worried about Lee, that I'd done something wrong to upset her or smth. I was already going through a tough time mentally due to issues in school and so I didn't want to deal with anything else.

First things first, she's a child. Say what you want but 14 year olds have much more important things to worry about than a virtual love life over fan accounts across seas. I know distance isnt an issue when you truly love someone but is 14 the age to decide?

I also had my Assignments during that time so I couldn't really go online but when I did get back, I had a lot to hear from Ri. She was MAD at me like FURIOUS mad.

I'm like dude, what do you want me to do. She's like idk just make her happy again and then I texted Lee, she asked me the same question and I replied I don't really think I'm ready for this right now. I didn't know what to say. She was a sweet girl and the things that ri told me Lee was doing to herself was just upsetting me too much.

Apparently she hadn't been eating, she had shit out people because I wasn't responding to their texts and she had been burning her fingers. Like lit matchsticks to her hands. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do what to say ANYTHING.

So I just let her be and she thought I'd agreed on our "relationship" if there was ever one. Like she used to text me if she could call me papi because I called everyone bub. I was like go ahead I guess idek what that means. It went too far and she started sending me too many confession texts and it only made me feel guilty.

So I told ri I couldn't do it anymore and she blames me. I don't know if she's right or wrong and she never listened to what I had to say anyways so I told Lee I didn't want to do this because of a certain incident prior to this and I opened up to her about a story of how I was inappropriately stalked and touched by someone I trusted. So I told her I don't want anything to do with online relationships and so I'd appreciate if she understood and if we could go back to being friends. She just replied, "I know you like Ri. I'm sorry, I won't bother you anymore" and I was like WHAT.

she took a look at mine and ri's previous texts and she thought I liked her because all ri talked about was getting laid and her trying to dominate me. I told her a hundred times to change her behaviour, and not speak that way but, as I told, she could care less about what I had to say.

This shit took another turn when Ri came back online. She was like you ruined our friendship and whatever whatever and she wanted nothing to do with me. I was like as long as I can get out of this mess, I'll take anything I can.

We didn't speak much at all after that, and one day she'd posted a question poll and I thought I didn't want to lose a friend so I just chimed in and typed in 'tbh?' and she replied. Now I wish she hadn't.

Quoting her exact words, 'tbh when it was good it was good. But you turned out to be a lying piece of shit who goes around hurting people just because you couldn't hold your shit together.' and Idek. You guessed it.

that hit my weak spot, my self esteem went underground and beyond and I was a wreck, damn. Then I spoke to my irl friend, only about the last part didn't really feel like saying everything and all she told me was this- 'if you aren't on good terms with them now, there's a reason. Don't beat yourself up on what they think about you. I know you, and please open your eyes and see yourself. Don't let them tell you what you should feel about yourself.'

And I felt better. Although I cried during that break. It felt better to just let it all out.

Why am I telling all this shit now?

I guy I know is probably into me, according to my friends, and he just called me. And I remembered all of this when I heard his voice.

So yea just thought I'd share it with you.

One thing tho, if you want to care for someone, do so. In a pure way. She think I was probably a lusting horny 16 year old and now that we've blocked each other on every social media handle, I can't check on them even if I want to. Before you speak think twice of the consequences, take it however you want, you might be "leading on" a child or you may ruin someone's entire perspective of love, or crush their self esteem that they've been struggling with.

So yea, take care of yourselves, love yourself first, make yourself your first priority, relationships can come later. Thanks for listening to this shit here's a puppy

#what is even happening #why did i even #oh god #i just hope youre alright #and Leah. please mind your tongue when you speak to people you dont know. #oops #internet #online relationships #fail #idek #i dont even care