#isra making stupid decisions

[tanadrin]

@sadoeconomist

Something politically aware people on every part of the political spectrum from the left to the right think is true and leaders of the Russian, Chinese, Israeli, etc. governments believe in enough to talk about publicly and make major geopolitical decisions based on maybe is not just a crazy fringe conspiracy theory, could be that there's some truth to the CIA, NED, etc. having more involvement in these events than the video author thinks I watched all this stuff happen in real time, and I read your notes, which went over how Russian hybrid warfare succeeded in Crimea in 2014. Every major power takes hybrid warfare seriously, what's objectively stupid is your mischaracterization of how it works. Trying to astroturf a revolution out of nowhere simply by paying random citizens en masse to overthrow the government would indeed be stupid but that's not what it is. Your notes seem to suggest that the video says US was paying little attention to eastern Europe until 2013 but Russia was frequently reacting to imaginary US provocations because they are stupid. It's like there's a giant America-shaped hole in the video's narrative. Ukraine was understood to be a NATO-Russia geopolitical battleground long before Euromaidan, it wasn't just Putin shadowboxing imaginary opponents out of pure stupidity that led to this.

You seem to be operating on the basic assumption that governments don't do stupid things for no reason, or fall prey to obviously inane conspiracy theories. That's simply not true; governments are led by human beings, human beings are subject to a common set of cognitive biases, and when you're an authoritarian right-winger (as the leaders of Russia, China, and Israel all are right now), an explanation for your apparent unpopularity that pins all the blame on the CIA instead of your shitty policies and your attempts to cling to power flatters those biases.

But we don't need to speculate about the propensity of governments to do stupid shit, because we have plenty of historical and contemporary examples of governments believing in nonsense: Havana Syndrome in the US, AIDS denialism in South Africa, anti-Semitic conspiracy theories in Nazi Germany and Imperial Russia, etc., etc. And often these false beliefs lead to real strategic blunders: the Bay of Pigs, the Iraq War, World War II, etc. Sometimes world leaders are stupid! Like, leadership probably tends to select for some kinds of intelligence and ability--charisma, social intelligence, and so forth--but it doesn't automatically make you a geopolitical genius, or make you immune to believing false things about the world.

And the biggest problem with the conspiracy theory outlined here isn't just that we can trace its origin to a fringe American political cult, it's that it's not necessary to explain any development in politics since 1989. There is no problem in understanding the revolutions of '89 or 2000-2014 that CIA involvement is necessary to solve. Indeed, as the videos point out (if you would actually watch them), trying to use "the CIA did it" as an explanation adds considerable problems, bc color revolution theory doesn't work. It's based on misconceptions, misunderstanding of data, and a healthy dose of paranoia.

The only real problem is trying to explain Putin's behavior--and that doesn't require color revolution theory to be true, only that Putin believes it is true. And why he would believe something is true, when he has the supposedly vast power of the Russian state at his beck and call, is easy to explain: authoritarian dictators surrounded by yes men do not have accurate pictures of the world! From Idi Amin to Saddam Hussein to Vladimir Putin, there is a common pattern of authoritarian dictators losing touch with reality, getting really weird, and coming to believe all kinds of counterproductive stuff that flatters their egos. It would be an even bigger problem to try to explain why Putin was immune to that dynamic after 24 years in power.

"World leaders don't shadowbox opponents out of pure stupidity" is an assumption that seems wholly ungrounded to me. Why not? World leaders do foolish things all the time on large and small scales. World leaders make mistakes. World leaders can become paranoid and out of touch--and if they lead countries without functioning electoral democracies, they can stay in power regardless. World leaders are not a magic special class of human being. They're just people. And whether it's because they're your uncle who watches nothing but OANN and Fox, or they're the President of Russia and they have yes-men and the Global Research guys telling them only what they want to hear, they can end up making absolute nonsense a load-bearing part of their worldview.

#like putin has benefited from this myth of being hyper competent and calculating for years in the west #and i just don't think that was ever true #he's not some super capable genius supervillain #he's just a run of the mill authoritarian #who was willing to placate russian elites to get what he wanted #and once in power gradually solidified his power base #in a very run of the mill fashion

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

obviously these things are not all on the same scale but the compounding of personal, communal, and global events just have me 🫠

- End of Sept my beloved childhood dog had to be put down

- October 7th, Hamas attack

- October 9th, get a call from my dad that he’s flying in because grandma unexpectedly took a downturn

- October 10th, nervously waiting for my dad’s update all day. Finally get it and hear that things are critical but stable. He feels optimistic after talking to the doctor. He was able to talk to her too. She’s too tired in the evening because dialysis is tiring,but I should visit tomorrow.

- October 11th wake up early and can’t go back to sleep. Go get coffee just for something to do. Gets call at 6:58 from my dad and I know it can’t be good. Go to the hospital. See her. Give the doctors permission to start palliative care so she’s more comfortable. Hold her hand. Give her so many forehead kisses. She cant talk, but she tears up when I tell her how much I love her and my future plans. My dad is wearing a stupid fucking pro-cop shirt and I can’t help but be angry about how clueless he is and for adding this stupidity to a day that’s going to be etched into my brain for the rest of my life. Every 15 minutes or so when the nurse checks in, they remind us that there no rush, but we can take her oxygen mask off whenever we are ready. When are we ready? How are we ever ready? We know she doesn’t want to be kept on life support. Are we ready? We know she is experiencing some discomfort all hooked up like that. Are we ready? Let’s wait for one more person to get here. Are we ready? We wish she could tell us what she wanted. Are we ready? After everyone got to say goodbye. I think my partner was the one to finally suggest that it was time and I agreed. Or was it me who said it? My dad was looking for any input. An only child, not wanting to make these decisions alone. I slip into my historic role of eldest daughter, not even much younger than him anymore, knowing a decision is better than no decision. My sister and I each have one of her hands. As soon i can no longer hear her last exhale, the doctor comes in to declare her time of death. People spend different amounts of time after. My sister has to go back to work. My dad stays around, then says he’s going to grab his sweatshirt from his truck, then texts and says he’s going to find somewhere for us to get brunch. I spend about an hour with her after she was gone. Holding her hand, kissing her forehead, rubbing her arm until it’s completely cold. It takes longer than I’d thought. I keep a lock of her hair. It’s hard to leave her bedside. Next time I touch her body it will be pulverized bone that I’m trying to scoop into a locket. My partner and I get brunch with my dad.

This grief is by far the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with in my life, and I don’t think my life has been particularly easy. She was the source of unconditional love I could depend on in my life. She was only 68 so I took for granted there would be more time. I’m able to cling to knowing that she was ready even if I wasn’t, that she had a peaceful death with people she loved. Meanwhile I’m seeing headlines every day grief multiplied over and over again, learning more about the attack, learning more about the Israeli military response escalating, bombings, bringing more and more death and grief. Violent deaths with last moments that haunt and terrify me. Deaths where the mourners do not get the comfort that I’ve been clinging to. Grieve for Jews and I have people who I consider my peers deciding that this means I’m some sort of right wing nationalist who doesn’t give a shit about Palestinians. Grieve for Palestinians, and people in my community think I’m some sort of self hating jew who believes terrorists attacks are justified. Feeling rejection on multiple fronts when shit is real. Even writing it I can hear a response of “really, feeling rejection is hurting you? People are dying!” And it’s like YES- people dying doesn’t mean that suddenly we no longer experience the human need for connection AND the thing that’s causing this rejection is seeing people’s humanity and CARING ABOUT THOSE DEATHS.

Really I just don’t know how a person can’t see their own grief and pain reflected back again and again in other people.

Don’t really have a point to this aside from the fact that this is definitely warping my brain in new and exciting ways but just shout out to people who are dealing with Major World Events and Major Life Events at the same time time. It sucks ass.

#tw grief #death tw #do not clown on this post or I will go insane

[rosetowers]

Zionists need to make a decision. They can either admit that the Israeli government and the IOF are fucking evil and own the fact that they are all too happy to commit genocide and build an ethnostate on a gigantic graveyard, or they can say that the Israeli government and the IOF, who have access to some of the best military technology in the world, are deeply, stupidly, lethally incompetent.

An army, with advanced technology that they brag about all the time, who knew the aid workers' exact coordinates, who have sniped elderly women, blew up a six year old that survived trapped with her dead family for days, only to be killed alongside aid workers just as they reached her, and who have bombed hospitals claiming them to be terrorist strongholds only to be found wrong over and over again.

No, Israel doesn't get to be this brilliant utopia that's under seige. It gets to be evil, or to stupid to be allowed to exist as it is now. Pick one.

#israel #fuck israel #palestine #i stand with palestine #I am so fucking sick of this not only continuing #But of anyone who dares to defend it

[chicago-geniza]

Every stupid element of my stupid research is coming to bear on this stupid evil historical moment and it's like yes of course the racist StopAntisemitism account that exists entirely to doxx/threaten Arab Americans is run by a post-Soviet Jewish woman, of course the IDF bluecheck thirst trap propaganda account who goes by "Gun Waifu" is a Russian sabra named Natalia Fadeev, I have been yelling about the Soviet Jewry Movement + how Soviet antisemitism in speech act and policy DID make Jewishness and Zionism effectively synonymous from the 50s onward but especially post-'67 + how the NGOs that sponsored Soviet (and eventual post-Soviet) refugees to the US were institutionally Zionist and used Zionism as an entry point for "reconnecting with Jewish heritage" & "integrating into US Jewish community" + how Chabad functions in the territories of the former USSR since the 90s + the US-Israeli joint ~diplomatic decision to stop recognizing refugee status in the US without family sponsorship, which redirected the flow of displacement to Israel for those without resources + how fucking insane Russophone Israeli culture is. Anyway this is so minor compared to everything else happening rn but I feel cuckoo crazy insane

#Oh also that NYC councilwoman who brought a gun to a pro-Palestine rally? FSU baby #Post-Soviet Zionism is a whole fucking Thing and it's EVERYWHERE here and it has a long history that is basically #The Cold War and the Six-Day War

[mariacallous]

With an Israeli offensive in Rafah looming, the United States continues to face several dilemmas in addressing the evolving humanitarian disaster in Gaza. A growing chorus of American citizens and policymakers alike are asking how the U.S. can support Israeli security while also protecting Palestinian civilians.

Coercing allies is tricky diplomatic business—especially when it comes to pushing policies that restrict a partner’s approach to national defense. Plus, the long-standing U.S. commitment to Israel diminishes U.S. bargaining power further. Far from feeling that they owe the Americans any favors, Israeli decision-makers in crisis are likely wagering that U.S. interests in maintaining an established strategic partnership against shared and emboldened enemies, including the Houthis and Iranians, will prevent Washington from pressing too hard on Israeli policymakers.

The most-often discussed pathway for the U.S. to pressure partners is making aid conditional on reforms. Last week, following mounting pressures from prominent Democratic lawmakers including Sens. Elizabeth Warren and Chris Van Hollen, President Joe Biden signed a “historic” directive that would require all U.S. strategic partners to submit written confirmation certifying that U.S.-provided military assistance was being used in compliance with international law. However, it is unclear how this will impact Israeli policy or how the Biden administration will respond to violations. Part of the lack of clarity over what, if anything, this action does for Palestinians in Gaza or for U.S.-Israeli relations is a failure to appreciate the complications involved in making aid conditional on reform.

American diplomats have been here before. The U.S. is aiming to broadly support its partner while also protecting its interests, a challenge it has previously encountered with local allies in its wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Of course, those alliances of counterinsurgency occupation were very different from the U.S.-Israel partnership, as Kabul and Baghdad had far more limited institutional and military capacity compared to Israel. Nevertheless, despite significant differences in the dynamics of those partnerships, Washington has had to figure out how to support a key ally while maintaining U.S. norms and interests, such as promoting democracy and protecting human rights.

History shows that in pressuring Israel to moderate its policies in Gaza, conditional aid may not work as well as an often-overlooked diplomatic tool: the threat of unilateral U.S. action.

In theory, “tough love” in the form of conditional aid allows the U.S. to trade material for influence. However, in reality, the politics of such approaches are more complicated and riskier for the U.S. than they appear.

First, limiting aid risks weakening the partner, which almost always runs against U.S. interests. If the partner fails, the United States is also in a less secure position vis-à-vis the shared threats that motivate the partnership in the first place. This in turn limits the credibility of such threats, as partners understand that the U.S. will also suffer consequences if Washington follows through.

In 2009, then-President Barack Obama publicly called on Afghan President Hamid Karzai to crack down on corruption and the drug trade in Afghanistan. When asked why the U.S. did not withhold troops and aid to leverage said reforms, a former U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan candidly called the argument “stupid.” This is because weakening Karzai risked emboldening the Taliban, extending the U.S. intervention, and setting back key nation-building benchmarks the U.S. had set for itself and its partners in Afghanistan.

Second, withdrawing aid potentially damages the future of the partnership. If partners decide that Washington has undermined their security, they may be motivated to seek alternative allies, including Russia in the case of Israel. The current Israeli mindset of insecurity and isolation means that unless it is done with exceptional skill, U.S. threats to significantly limit military aid during an ongoing Israel Defense Forces operation will likely be met with resentment and resistance by Israeli officials.

Third, unlike pundits, policymakers have the heavy responsibility of dealing with critical allies calling Washington’s bluff and refusing to comply with U.S. demands. Defiant allies create a lose-lose scenario for the U.S. Either American officials follow through on declared penalties and risk undermining strategic partners and possibly emboldening shared adversaries, or they fail to impose the costs and lose credibility and future leverage. Thus, despite reports that the Biden administration is willing to delay weapons delivery to Israel, it is unsurprising that the White House is yet to announce a clear plan.

These risks make aid conditionality a blunt tactic typically held in reserve by U.S. diplomats, as opposed to a sustainable diplomatic approach. The more the U.S. relies on a partner, the less attractive aid conditionality becomes. Admittedly, unconditional aid is also risky since it leaves the U.S. at least partially liable for the partner’s policies, even ghastly ones. For example, in Iraq, former Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki’s determination to resist U.S. urges to incorporate Sunni political forces into his government was a contributor to the insurgency that took over parts of Iraq and Syria in 2014. Luckily, there is an alternative way to pressure partners.

Instead, the U.S. can shift partner behavior by threatening to implement policies that affect local politics unilaterally, with or without partner participation. The coercive message to partners is “either you implement X policy, or we will,” unlike the logic of aid conditionality that states “implement X policy, or the U.S. will cut your support.” The former message is focused on the specific policy in question, as opposed to threats of cutting key resources, which can harm the ally and alliance more broadly.

The threat of select unilateral action is not meant to propose wide-scale U.S. intervention but can instead be tailored to impact local policies that are specifically harmful to U.S. interests. Though allies will likely perceive it as a coercive threat to their autonomy and not welcome this message, the goal is to raise the stakes and pressure allies into reaching a compromise.

Threatening unilateral U.S. action in response to partner inaction often motivated local allies in Iraq, Vietnam, and Afghanistan to comply with U.S. demands, at least in part, because unilateral action would have undermined local elites and put them in an increasingly isolated position. In Iraq, for instance, the U.S. was able to successfully use this approach to coerce Maliki into further engaging with Sunni groups in 2010 because the U.S. was credibly threatening to continue its engagement with amenable Sunni leaders—with or without the support of Shiite leaders in Baghdad. (However, Washington lost this leverage when it no longer threatened to support Sunni militias unilaterally as part of the 2011 U.S. withdrawal from Iraq.)

The U.S. was also able to pry concessions out of local partners in Saigon during the U.S. withdrawal because of credible threats that the U.S. would move forward with compromises to North Vietnam with or without South Vietnamese participation. In 2010, the U.S. was able to promote moderate anti-corruption reforms in Afghanistan by bringing in U.N. officials to report on progress. Rather than be sidelined, the Afghan government compromised and joined the oversight process, in part to keep tabs on it and shape policy along the way.

While taking unilateral action has a record of successfully nudging critical allies toward meeting U.S. demands, it can only be applied when the U.S. has the sole capacity to implement the requested policy. It cannot be used, for example, to coerce partners to change their domestic laws or disengage from offensive operations, because those are reforms that the U.S. cannot implement without partner participation.

This means the U.S. cannot use this approach to coerce Israel to be more selective with strikes in Gaza. However, Washington can, for example, threaten to unilaterally release detailed information regarding targeting in Gaza to motivate the Israelis to increase transparency and accountability in their campaign. U.S. policymakers can also propose to set up an independent inquiry into civilian deaths in Gaza as a form of oversight and monitoring or use American institutions to address the conflict. The recent U.S. decision to impose financial sanctions on four Israelis who incited violence against Palestinians in the West Bank is a step in this direction.

Regarding the current emergency in Gaza, the U.S. can threaten to unilaterally provide humanitarian aid should Israel impede this critical assistance. It can do so, for example, by dispatching a disaster response naval vessel such as the USNS Mercy or USNS Comfort to join the carrier strike groups assigned to the region. Naturally, there will be critics arguing that this measure may undermine Israel’s military campaign, but those positions are too comfortable with Israeli failures to distinguish between Palestinian civilians and Hamas militants. The U.S. can signal its displeasure for the current offensive by offering to help civilians in Gaza secure their basic needs and survival. Sending U.S. unilateral aid to Gaza and informing the Israelis this will happen with or without their cooperation would send three important messages.

First, the historical record suggests that a credible threat of unilateral U.S. action can nudge Israel to move closer to U.S. positions to avoid being subverted by the U.S. Second, it boosts U.S. bargaining credibility regionally and reinforces that the U.S. is an autonomous actor in the conflict, as well as a committed Israeli ally. This may be increasingly important as the U.S. may need to press against sustained Israeli occupation of Gaza and strengthen its ties to key Arab partners such as Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt. Lastly, unilateral action will allow the U.S. to do more than just lament Palestinian civilian deaths. Just as the U.S. sprang into action to defend Israeli civilians brutally slaughtered on Oct. 7, the U.S. can also spring into action to defend Palestinian civilians currently facing what the U.N. calls “apocalyptic” conditions.

Like all tools of statecraft, this is only one of many approaches in the U.S. diplomatic toolkit. Even though it is rarely discussed compared to aid conditionality, threatening unilateral policy action to coerce a strategic partner to participate can be more subtle and less risky because it maintains the security alliance and material support for a partner, while also taking issue with specific partner policies. Additionally, threatening unilateral policy implementation in Gaza does not preclude the U.S. from also considering selective aid conditionality or additional pathways of pressure, including reconsidering blocking U.N. action that challenges Israeli positions.

Washington will need to be agile and purposeful in its diplomatic approaches as the U.S. seeks to both support and influence Israel—even as its policies, including the offensive in Gaza, violate U.S. interests. The U.S. can and should do more.

[tomorrowusa]

Maybe Elon will give Hamas and its sponsors free checkmarks for increasing traffic on an increasingly dysfunctional platform.

Hamas and Elon Musk deserve each other. They do awful things and then get their stooges to cheer them on. And both make bad decisions.

The Self-Destruction of Hamas The militant group’s acts of terror have united a divided Israel against them.

Hamas’s massacre of 1,200 Israeli civilians, in addition to being the greatest humanitarian outrage ever visited on the state of Israel, is also an act of both rehabilitation and self-erasure. Overnight, Hamas reestablished the legitimacy of the Israeli government, which had been hanging by a thread under an authoritarian prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, currently on trial for corruption by a judiciary whose independence he’s trying to destroy. Hamas also allied itself with its own gravediggers by guaranteeing a furious military response, which has already begun, in which Israel will endeavor to remove every trace of the terrorist group from Gaza. The Hamas incursion, which (according to The Wall Street Journal) was plotted in collaboration with Iran, was not just obscene; it will also, I think, enter the history books as one of history’s greatest tactical blunders. [ ... ] Israel’s hands are not clean going into Gaza. It is no longer controversial to describe Israel’s policies toward Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank as a form of apartheid. [ ... ] But it’s worth noting one key moral difference. Israel, at the very least, consistently denies that it targets civilians deliberately. Hamas has never pretended to consider civilian targets illegitimate. Hamas will surely keep its promise to retaliate against Israeli bombings and the imminent Israeli invasion by killing many, if not all of, its Israeli hostages. That’s repugnant. It’s also just stupid. What were Hamas’s (and, if The Wall Street Journal’s reporting holds up, Iran’s) war aims? Peter Krause, a political scientist at Boston College, told The Washington Post’s Marc Fisher that Hamas’s goal was to terrorize Israel, provoke a disproportionate reaction, and thereby scuttle the official normalization of relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia.  The first two parts of this game plan resemble what Al Qaeda envisioned on 9/11. The attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and the slaughter of 2,977 civilians, did indeed terrorize the United States and prompt a disproportionate—and, for Al Qaeda, ruinous—military response.

[ ... ] Hamas’s weak tactical reasoning is not atypical for terror groups. Terrorists almost never get what they want. The Irish Republican Army did not chase Britain out of Northern Ireland. The Baader-Meinhof Gang did not subsume West Germany into the Communist East Germany. The Proud Boys did not overturn the 2020 election. The only straight-up terrorist victory I can call to mind is Gavrilo Princip’s assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, which in 1914 provoked a world war that led to the dissolution of Austro-Hungary, thereby freeing his beloved Bosnia from that empire. But even here, Princip’s ultimate aim went unrealized. It would take the better part of a century—and bloodshed galore—before Bosnia and Herzegovina became an independent state.

Some people might describe Elon Musk as a type of social media terrorist. At least in terms of his internet bomb-throwing, he's not likely to be a long-term success.

#elon musk #twitter #x #hamas #terrorists #iran #mass murder #gaza #israel #blunders

[old-school-butch]

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but hasn't Israel itself broken ceasefires numerous times? This was a large talking point amongst political analysts/commentators.

I can't think of anything specific, but I'm sure they have at some point or another. It's fairly typical in wars for each side to accuse the other of breaking it, and this situation has been at war since 1948, lurching from one ceasefire to another. Israel's 6 day war in 1967 was 'pre-emptive' which is some shady shit, but were Syria and Egypt really going to invade? Probably yeah, so whether that justifies the strike or not depends on your perspective. Israel is such a small country that it's very twitchy about defence - if it loses a war, any war, it fully expects to be wiped off the face of the earth. Thus it likes its wars to be short and heavily technical. This is a fairly aggressive footing that makes negotiating difficult even with trusted partners, much less groups who are very open about wanting to destroy Israel and follow up on the wiping-off-the-earth thing.

Let's talk about the idea of ceasefires and agreements in general. I once spent an hour reading about some agreement (one of hundreds, they are made and broken and re-made every few years it seems) and I was trying to follow the many ways that everyone broke every agreement. The OG deal was, I believe, supplying water to Gaza in exchange for a ceasefire from rocket bombardment incoming from Gaza. It took maybe a week before Gaza fired a few dozen rockets into Israel, so Israel is like wtf, that's not a ceasefire. Hamas is like, wasn't us - the PIJ did it and we don't control them! Plus, rocket attacks are down 80% so that's pretty close right?! And Israel's all 'that's not a fucking ceasefire so FINE. We said we'd provide 10 units of water (I dont remember the numbers) but instead we'll provide 6.' And Hamas is all 'that's not the deal!' and everyone is yelling again. And pretty much the same thing happens with Israeli settlers on the West Bank where Israel will, after years of legal wrangling, remove maybe 2 of the thousands of homes built in violation of several international agreements. And that's when you realize you've spent a full hour trying to follow this stupid-add infuriating conflict where breaking agreements has become so commonplace that the whole process of making them has been degraded. Most agreements in this region end like this, so keep in mind that it's ALWAYS possible to reach back for some justification to break your agreement when you have 75 years of broken agreements to supply excuses.

Anyway, it's important to remember that these are relatively weak states. The radicals on both sides hold sway over every decision and demand constant appeasement. This makes it hard to keep agreements, even if you reach them. Personally I think this means that self-reliance, wherever possible, will make for a more peaceful future. Good fences make good neighbors and all.

Additionally, incidents can be used as an excuse for war, or not, depending on how much you want a war. Fundamentally, people get into wars when they have something to gain, or think they do. If they think they have nothing to gain from peace, there will be no peace. And who 'they' is varies - the leadership has interests that are not necessarily the same as the general population.

For example, U.S. bases have come under attack from Syria and Iran, and several international ships have been boarded and attacked. But the side that wants to expand this conflict (Iran et al) is not powerful enough to launch an attack so severe that the US can't ignore it, so nothing has happened. The calls for global jihad have been heard but weakly, several murders and assaults have happened in several countries so far. Dumb shit like a Starbucks got firebombed in Turkey for a it's purely fictional allegience with Israel, aren't some Western dupes boycotting it too? A bookstore chain in Canada was vandalized because the Jewish CEO donates to Israel. Attacks have been intercepted in Denmark, US and UK - and those are the ones we hear about. Synagogues have been burned in several Arab states, I was surprised there were any left to burn, tbh. But the West doesn't want this war and there haven't been so many deaths or so many attacks that we can't ignore it, so there's no war. Yet.

I personally think Israel wouldn't be at war right now if it wasn't for the hostages. For a state founded on the premise of creating a safe place for Jews, Israel failed on Oct. 7. This should, by all accounts, call for the fall of the leadership pending an inquiry to figure out what happened. But Israel could have, maybe, shrugged it off or retaliated with economic dis-engagement... if it wasn't for the hostages. That had everyone breathing down their necks, frantic family members on Israeli TV, they can't ignore that. Abandoning the hostages would break their fundamental promise as a state. So they were successfully baited into a war that was not of their choosing, and I don't think is in their interests. But even worse will be if they start that without finishing it and destroying Hamas completely, but there's really no doubt in my mind that Israel doesn't have much to gain in this war, just relative losses to mitigate.

The neighboring Arab states, as destructive as ever, voted against an international force to stabilize Gaza after the war, but also don't want to try governing it themselves. They've all expressed support for Hamas... but also won't join in the war OR the ceasefire. That has got to be a kick in the teeth to Gazans, but they've been played. The whole drama really is regional interests using Gaza for the live action puppet war. I wonder how long Palestinians will put up with this, but apparently support for Hamas is rising in the West Bank so the answer might be - a long time yet. Hamas has scored an unbelievable PR victory, and ISIS needs to revamp their image. They are no doubt taking notes.

I really, really don't want Israel to occupy Gaza after this and I worry they will be stuck with it. It's a total step backwards and will just allow the Islamist world to keep their bogeyman 'occupier' shtick. The PA, Saudi Arabia and Turkey have been touring several nations - I'm not sure what they are contemplating.

Surely people are tired of the ceasefires. Surely it's time for peace.

[pieceofchocolate]

(I’m not expecting you to post this, I just needed to tell you)

I think I read it right when you put Ben the Israeli guy and didn’t villanize him that means you don’t support Palestine

Which is very important to me because so many writers in this fandom hates Israel at the moment, and I couldn’t keep on reading their fics because of my morals.

As an Israeli that see daily how the whole world hates us even though the horrors of October seven, I appreciate it that you wrote Ben.

(I really hope I didn’t misunderstand you)

Because after mastermind you became one of my favourite writers and it would be a shame to stop reading your works.

And if I did misunderstand you and you do support Palestine, I advise you to read and even watch all the wrongs that happened to us.

And you can even post like idk, that: 12345

And I will text you the details, but if you do support I guess you wouldn’t want to educate yourself and you’ll block me, like many on the internet did the moment I gave them true events and not the faults they see on instagram and TikTok.

Anyway you seem like a smart person so I really hope I didn’t misread it…

I thought I'd take the time to answer this, because even though I'm sure anon meant nothing bad it really rubs me the wrong way and here's why.

First of all, I have made an active decision to not express my views on the conflict on my fandom accounts, not due to a lack of opinions or care but due to reasons that are personal and no one's business. Please do not make assumptions on my stance on anything unless I've explicitly expressed it.

Second of all, I find it sad and extremely telling that my inclusion of an Israeli character who is not villainized makes people draw conclusions about my political opinions. Israeli people live and exist in the world regardless of the war, and regardless of my opinion I can't see why I would villainize them. I can tell you right now that I would have absolutely no problem including a Palestinian character and I wouldn't villainize them, either.

However, anon - considering the state of the world and the debate right now (including the villainization of both Israelis and Jews) I can see how you reached that conclusion. I find this extremely sad, so I also wanted to say that I'm very sorry about that. I'm glad that you liked Ben. I like him too <3

Third of all - I do see that you attempt to spread awareness and educate people around you, which is great. I love learning. However, it bothers me when people on the internet take it upon themselves to "educate me" knowing nothing about who I am, where I come from, what I believe or what I know. This is information that I have actively chosen not to reveal, and I should not have to use it as a means to "defend myself".

Finally, regardless of my position on the actual conflict, your message indicates an extremely narrow-minded way of thinking. World class experts have yet to agree and find a solution to this conflict, so if you think anyone who doesn't share your view is simply stupid and hasn't "educated themselves" then I simply think you're wrong. And I would tell you this if you were pro-Palestine, too.

[intoxicatedfae]

the world is burning… and so are we

this may feel very weak and stupid to say at a time like this, when genocide is happening. but i feel like i’m biting my tongue and not saying much? i can’t fully identify the reason why i am holding back. why can’t i fight for freedom? i don’t want to look back and feel guilty because i was silent and complaisant. i can’t sit on my feelings anymore but i also feel that i’m not educated or informed enough to say all the things i want to say. and i think that is what has been holding me back.

what i do know is that there are 3 major genocide’s happening right now. the genocide of Palestinians, at the hands of the American and Israeli governments.as well as the genocides happening in the Congo and Sudan (which I know less about and wish to seek more information about these situations). many governments have anti-trans/ anti-lgbtq laws in place. some areas that don’t have laws that restrict the freedoms of queer and trans people are looking to implement them. in america affirmative action was overturned, i believe ICWA was also overturned this year. and reproductive rights have been violated. also, cop city, a militarized police training facility being built in atlanta to train police all over the world in the best ways to “police” their citizens. i put the word police in parentheses because their main goal is no longer to maintain the law and serve and protect citizens from danger. no, they think they are above the law and they want to control us through fear.

all politicians and their governments are corrupt. one of their main goals is to isolate citizens from each other, drain us of our energy, and make us turn on each other. if we’re lonely and tired and angry at our fellow man, how could we ever fight our oppressors? there is power in numbers, so they have chosen to separate us and create a divide. we should be choosing community, unity, and solidarity. you may be afraid to speak out in support of Palestine because you think you don’t know enough about the situation, or nobody else you know is speaking out, or because you think you’ll get hate for antisemitism. however, if you’re staying silent you’re choosing to stand by the decisions your political leaders are making. if you don’t know about the situation research and find out enough to form a solid stance. if nobody else’s you know is speaking out, why not be the first one? maybe everyone in your community needs that push. and remember being pro-Palestine was never and will never be anti-semitic. this is something that is said to scare people into not speaking out but just because you’re against Apartheid, and wrongful colonial occupation does not mean you hate Jewish people at all, rather it means you’re just against corrupt governments trying to get away with sick and twisted actions in the dark.

as an american i believe the american people need to rally together and put an end to this. how can the us treasurer say there is plenty in the budget for at least 2 wars but the country is trillions of dollars in debt? we can’t keep letting the white supremacist that run our country use our tax paying dollars to fund a genocide that largely nobody is in support of. boycott all companies that in support of Israel not just McDonalds and Starbucks and Disney. if you can try honestly i would recommend just not buying anything that isn’t a necessity at all period. if we stop funneling money into the economy 1) there will be no money to fund Israel’s endeavors, and 2) the economy will eventually collapse. if the economy collapsed a new economic structure would have to be built to replace capitalism. this is hella extreme but i think an eventual radical response that we should get prepared for. the government does not care about you so why should you spend your hard earned barely livable wage dollars on anything at all? aside from just boycotting, i’m still trying to find a solution for taxes? if anyone knows how americans can prevent their taxes going towards this plz share.

overall not sure if i said everything i wanted to say here, but i will definitely be writing more of my thoughts so i can further go into detail. for now i can sat do what you can to help Palestine. contact your representatives, donate, protest, share the posts of the surviving citizens remaining in Gaza as they document these ongoing terrors. keep your eyes on Gaza, stay alert, and stay safe.

(also i would like to state i’m just expressing my thoughts not trying to spread information, ((if anything i’m asking to be informed)), but trying to speak about what’s on my mind and in my heart). (also sorry for spelling and grammar errors, not focused on format focused on message)

#palestine #israel #free palestine #liberation #end occupation #ceasefire #spilled thoughts #capitalism #socialism #change #the world is burning #personal essay #politics #radicalize #radicalization

[dumbestthingiveeverheard]

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 8/4/2023

Fifth Place: Asa Hutchinson

As Asa Hutchinson continues his Presidential run, the writing on the wall--which was always against him--has become so clear that the only person who doesn't think he should just drop out is, well, Asa Hutchinson. However, another reminder of his failure of a campaign can be found on The Hill, which today ran the headline "Hutchinson says he’s ‘close to halfway there’ in reaching GOP presidential debate threshold." If he is in a race for the presidency or a race against Spongebob is currently unclear.

Fourth Place: John McWhorter

His New York Times column "One Sentence Does Not Define a Curriculum" goes after the critics of Ron DeSantis's recently approved educational standards in Florida, noting that much of this complaining is about a single sentence.

However, from the tone of coverage of this passage, one might suppose that it was a central plank in the curriculum. Instead, it was but one passage amid hundreds of others, which constitute an almost exhaustive coverage of the gruesomeness of slavery in the United States. Taken together, they are such an informed recitation of our racist past that it is almost surprising DeSantis would approve them.

This is an amazing rebuttal of the people who believe that sentence is the only thing in the entire curriculum, although given I have yet to see anybody make that claim I would call this nothing more than strawmanning. Unless something about the wider context of that statement changes its meaning, bringing up that most of the document is fine (as if we'd accept an A for effort regarding how children are taught about history) is just nonsensical. To put it another way: Although he is right that this one sentence being bad does not make the entire curriculum racist (something which nobody is claiming), that does not make said one sentence any less racist.

McWhorter also makes this note:

It’s important also to note that the principal purported gaslighter was himself Black. The person responsible for the infamous passage, according to fellow group members, was William Allen. He is an academic and also a Republican, but, as challenging as it can be to perceive this in our times, that party affiliation does not automatically render him suspect on matters of race.

Although it is true that Allen's political party does not make his statements on race any less correct by default, the mention of him being black seems to come with the implication that his race adds validity to his statements, which is equally untrue. People of color can have stupid, uninformed, and bigoted opinions on issues related to racial minorities just as everybody can, because idiocy knows no race.

Third Place: Mark Levin

Speaking of idiotic things said about slavery, Levin made a rather moronic comment about the Trump indictment yesterday:

We were reminded last night by an Israeli, Caroline Glick -- born in America -- who said one of the great legal minds in Israel who she spoke to said, you know, in the United States, the Dred Scott decision, which was decided in 1857 - the impact of that decision took a few years to really settle in. It served as the foundation for the Civil War.

And here I was thinking it had to do with the South--who agreed with Dred Scott v. Sanford--attempting to leave the union after the election of an abolitionist President.

This is one political party trying to destroy another. This is one political party trying to monopolize elections, federal law enforcement, and the entire justice system. And if they get away with it, it's over. It's over.

Of course, nobody is trying to destroy the entire Republican Party, what they are attempting to do is imprison Donald Trump because, you know, he broke the law.

Second Place: Mike Huckabee

Mother Jones has an article out on his recent children's book The Kids Guide to the Truth About Climate Change, and although I will not cover every error they documented, I will show you my personal favorite:

The visuals used in the guide are even more blatantly misleading than its text, [Glenn] Branch [deputy director of the National Center for Science Education] noted. One graph, titled “Thousands of Years of Carbon Dioxide Levels,” spans 400,000 years ago until “present day,” and is summarized with the conclusion, “looking back in time, carbon dioxide levels have always gone up and down.” But the data the graph labels as “present day”—peaking at a little over 280 parts per million—actually represents levels from 2,300 years ago, around 391 BC, Branch pointed out. The vast majority of the carbon dioxide driving climate change has been emitted only since the Industrial Revolution, with atmospheric CO2 concentrations currently over 420 parts per million, higher than any data point included on the graph, which has a scale that only goes up to 300 parts per million.

This man seriously confused 391 BC with the present day.

Winner: Marjorie Taylor Greene

Regarding the Trump indictment, Greene said this "feels like communism" which is an economic system that has nothing to do with the ability to charge one's political leaders and usually results in authoritarian states where such a thing is impossible.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, you've said the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

#asa hutchinson #john mcwhorter #mark levin #mike huckabee #marjorie taylor greene

[radiant-flutterbun]

Just Evan Part 4

First | Previous

Evan theme

Weeks passed and everyday Evan convinced Fallen to leave the clan for longer and longer periods of time. They went on dates all over the city of the Beacon. They hung out with the mirror who had invited them to that party a few times. They started to form regular spots to spend time together.

Until the day of the test.

Evan didn’t bother Fallen that day. He was too nervous and pooled over his books. So Evan wished Fallen luck, told him he’d do just fine and let him take the test in peace.

He paced as he waited for his boyfriend to finish taking the test. The clan was so boring without Fallen’s company. It wasn’t fair of Isra to take away his boyfriend and stress him out for no reason!

When hours passed and still no sign of Fallen, Evan began to worry. 

He flew down to the room where Fallen had been left to take the test and his heart caught in his throat when he saw that the room was empty.

“He’s done? Then where is he? He promised me we would go out after!”

Evan flew up to Fallen’s room and knocked on the door. He heard sobbing.

“Fallen? Fallen! What’s wrong?”

The door opened a crack and Fallen peeked his tear streaked face out.

In his claws was a stack of paper. On it was written an F with a note to review.

“I failed.”

Evan blinked. “What? But that can’t be true! You’re Fallen! You’re so smart! This must be-”

“And it’s all your fault!”

Evan froze. “Wh- what?”

“I should have been studying! But you kept distracting me!”

“I was trying to get you to enjoy life a little more!”

“Well I’m not enjoying life now! Now I have to retake this! Which is not going to look good on my record!”

“I’m sure it won’t make a difference. It’s just one bad grade.”

“Just one? I shouldn’t have had just one! If you’d just have let me study!”

Evan scoffed “Oh so you’re really putting all the blame on me, huh?” His tail flicked “if I recall you were already procrastinating when we met.”

“Yeah and you just encouraged me to procrastinate even more!”

“And wasn’t it worth it? You got to see the lantern festival because of me! You got to go to parties because of me! You got to make new friends because of me! You got to experience your first kiss because of me! Isn’t all that more important than one lousy grade?”

“No! Now I might not be accepted into the university I want!”

“Then choose a different university! Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches, Fallen.”

Fallen glared at Evan. “I don’t think we should be seeing each other anymore.”

“Are…” Evan paused, “Are you breaking up with me?!”

Fallen crossed his arms and looked away. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

“Over a bad grade? That’s so fucking stupid. You’re making a huge mistake.”

“Am I?”

“Come on. You can’t be serious.”

Fallen was silent.

“Fine,” Evan’s feathers poofed. “I’ll give you a choice. It’s me, or your stupid studies. Choose wisely.” He grinned smugly.

Fallen flicked his mane out of his face. “Then I choose my studies.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“But I-”

“You’re a distraction. And if you really cared, you would respect my decision to end our relationship. So, goodbye Evan.” Fallen shut the door, leaving Evan flabbergasted.

***

Evan paced in his room yet again, this time fuming.

“I cannot believe it!” He stomped his foot. “How dare he!”

He picked up a pillow from his bed and threw it across the room.

“He’s so stupid. He’s making a mistake! Break up with me? No, no, no. And for some dusty books too? It’s not fair!” He turned his entire bed over, spilling blankets and pillows onto the floor.

“How dare he!” He dug his claws into a pillow. Feathers spilled out. He ripped the pillow in two and then picked up another one with his mouth. His fangs sunk into the pillow as he shook it like a dog with a new toy. Feathers went everywhere.

“I just… I just wanted to show him there was more to life than school.” He sniffled and the tears came.

He crumpled on top of the ruins of his bed and sobbed.

“It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair!”

He stared at his shaking hands. Or were they called paws now?

He remembered the night he died. He had gotten sick. So sick. He only wanted to sleep it off. He would have never guessed that he would have woken up in a funeral home. His life had been such a waste. He didn’t do anything except read comic books and watch superhero movies. He was never good at school, or sports or anything else. He wasn’t an artist like Mason. He wasn’t anything.

He was just an unremarkable kid or died suddenly and tragically because a god wanted to play with him like he was a toy.

Muerto learned how horrifying necromancy could be by trapping a soul inside a rotting body. Evan’s body. Evan’s soul. No chance at an afterlife. A fate worse than death. A fate to slowly rot and become nothing and be conscious the entire time.

Now he was alive and didn’t want to waste that. Not again. Never again. He wanted to find love and friends. He wanted to be a careless teen. And all he got was heartbreak.

“I miss Mason.”

#firefly writing #tcotg #clan ton theon

[nightcoremoon]

if you’re an 18-22 american remember:

because of gerrymandering,

-a vote for the republicans is 2 votes for them

-a vote for the democrats is 1 vote against the republicans

-a vote for nobody is 1 vote for the republicans

voter suppression is gonna block minorities and the poor from voting. if you are white you automatically have more privilege to vote than every brown person in the country. if you are white and do not vote, you are voting for taking the civil rights away from local minorities. if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice; your neutrality is a win for the oppressor. the attack by hamas triggering the state sanctioned genocide by israel against palestine happening right now was an inevitability whether because hamas had the plan or because hamas is actually just a plant by the us government just like the taliban and 9/11 in order to create propaganda that convinces people not to vote for the left “because the left is supporting genocide” which is patently untrue and representative of a fundamental understanding of the way civics operates, but let’s stray from the obvious and focus on hey maybe hamas was just random chance and now israel is exercising the same power of murder as China to the Uyghur province and the Hutus to the Tutsis and the Turks to the Armenians and the Nazis to the Romani and Jews, and there isn’t a goddamn thing you or I or anyone can do to stop it aside from going there and putting a bullet in the head of insert Israeli political leader here because that’s the only direct action that could have an effect. it sucks to say but the demise of the palestinians is an inevitability as far as america is concerned. no matter who you vote for and no matter who wins and no matter what color is on the name plate in the oval office, israel is going to continue to oppress and murder palestinians. using this fact as leverage in your political decision making is fucking stupid at best and just performative empathy at worst. you’ll tweet about how awful it is that israel is doing this, THEN YOU’LL JUST SCROLL DOWN AND LIKE A KPOP VIDEO. slacktivism. your lack of drive to do anything to benefit anybody but yourself will lead us directly into a second dark age where everyone from black and latino people to women to queer and trans people to jews and muslims to the disabled to the mentally ill to the poor will suffer here, all to clear your conscience. i hope that the warm fuzzies in your tummy make up for the suffering that your collective inaction will cause the rest of us for the next four years. you’ll cut off your nose to spite your face.

if you disagree with me you can go fuck yourself 💜

[gaykarstaagforever]

I feel I need to remind everyone that American Evangelicals teach children that God wants the nation of Israel to exist at any cost, and that the world only ends in their favor if it does.

This isn't a far-off geopolitical thing they are making rational decisions about. It is a sin against God and a subversion of their worldview to even suggest not allowing whatever Israeli government to do whatever it wants, down to the emotional level in 8 year olds.

The successful Israeli lobby didn't create this; it went the other way around. They were already rabidly pro-Israeli for religious reasons (based on their fuxking stupid literal reading of Revelation, out of context), since at least the founding of the State of Israel. And in some circles, longer.

It got especially virulent in the 60s with the Cold War, when they were convinced the world was imminently going to end in a nuclear apocalypse between the US and USSR. They have remained in that tense war-footing ever since. This also is why they classify everything they don't like as "Marxist." All this is a vital component of their sect. They can't go soft on it, or risk missing the Rapture (another thing based on a bad reading, taken out of context).

Stop trying to reason with these people on this and (many other) issues. This is part of their fight to the death to get mansions in Heaven. They will ignore and excuse any pile of dead children for this. And call themselves saints for doing so.

#israel #hamas #evangelicals #gop #conservatives

[melbournenewsvine]

Israelis criticize the Australian ambassador over the Jerusalem decision

Secretary of State Penny Wong said Tuesday that Labor is making good on a longstanding commitment to abandon a “cynical” 2018 decision by the Morrison government, drawing praise from local Palestinian advocates who have urged the government to move forward and recognize a Palestinian state. Under Fire from Israel: Secretary of State Penny Wong.attributed to him:Alex Ellinghausen Wong said the recognition of West Jerusalem was a desperate attempt by former Prime Minister Scott Morrison to win votes in the 2018 Wentworth election by wooing Jewish voters. “Australia is committed to a two-state solution in which Israel and a future Palestinian state coexist, in peace and security, within internationally recognized borders,” she said. We will not support any approach that undermines this possibility. Most countries that have diplomatic relations with Israel maintain embassies in Tel Aviv, reflecting the international consensus that the final status of the holy city, home to the holy sites of Muslims, Jews and Christians, should be determined in peace talks. But prominent Israeli parliament member Sharine Haskell, a member of the center-right National Unity Party, accused Wong of “pleasing her constituents” rather than “stand by her moral compass” in her first intervention in Middle East politics. loading Wong said Tuesday that the status of Jerusalem should be decided through peace talks between Israelis and Palestinians, not through unilateral decisions. The Hamas and Islamic Jihad movements in Palestine also welcomed the Australian decision, describing it as a victory for the Palestinian cause and narrative. Jerusalem Post mentioned. Haskell, a member of the Knesset’s Foreign Affairs Committee, lived in Australia for seven years and worked as a veterinarian and volunteer for the NSW WIRES Wildlife Service. She is a vegetarian, environmental advocate, advocate for the legalization of marijuana, and an advocate for the advancement of women and gay rights. “This stupid act was more important to the Labor Party than supporting the children and women of Iran who are being killed in their struggle for freedom,” she said. “This is what happens when you feel the need to please your constituents more than the need to defend a moral compass, than when you stand for the only democracy in the Middle East that grants complete freedom and equality to children, women and minorities.” Haskell last week cut her hair on stage at a conference in Jerusalem in a public act of solidarity with the ongoing protest movement that has swept Iran in recent weeks since the death of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini while in custody of the country’s morality police. She was arrested for not wearing her head covering properly. I told Sydney Morning Herald And the the age Wong realized that Israel was the only country in the region that shared Australia’s values ​​of democracy, freedom and equality. “She has to see that people from her community, from the LGBT community, everywhere else in our region, are being hanged, killed, persecuted, and imprisoned,” she said. Both Israelis and Palestinians claim Jerusalem as their capital. Israel captured East Jerusalem from Jordan in the Six-Day War of 1967 and later annexed it in a move not recognized by the international community. For decades, the international community has asserted that the city’s status must be negotiated between Israel and the Palestinians. Critics argue that declaring Jerusalem as the capital of either side inflames tensions and prejudges the outcome of final status peace talks. Get a direct note from our alien correspondents About what’s making headlines around the world. Subscribe to the weekly What in the World newsletter here. Source link Originally published at Melbourne News Vine

#Melbourne News Vine

[spaceroadtrip]

Things I totally mean to add to my WIP #33

That said, Isra really, really wants something to eat. There’s nothing in her pockets, and there’s no way to know if any of the alien food is safe to eat. Part of her is ready to chance it. If another alien walks by holding one of those apple-like things, she’s going to make a grab for it. She’ll probably regret it later but that’s never stopped her before. In fact, it’s pretty much her whole life; making reckless decisions and regretting them afterwards but thoroughly enjoying them in the moment. As for consequences, well she’s got Finn to help with those. He’s well-practised in the art of sorting out problems caused by Isra.

#things I totally mean to add to my WIP #original writing #space road trip wip #am writing #science fiction #writing science fiction #sci-fi #writing sci-fi #one small step wip #one small step #space road trip #original characters #isra #finn #aliens #hungry character #food #alien apples #isra making stupid decisions

[winterscaptain]

advocate.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the very first part of ajf! the beginning of our story! oh my goodness! this got a little long, but there was a lot i wanted to pack in here. thank you all for your patience as i worked through this <3 i’ve got some fun graphics in here for you - open them for best quality!

words: 8.45k warnings: language, alcohol use, canon-typical descriptions of injury and violence, mention of suicide

summary: “our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.” - oscar wilde. au!july-september 2007

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

“Director Shepard?” 

You approach her, feeling very young, with a question and a smile. 

She turns, smiling at you softly. “Yes?”

Her lecture was immaculate - she covered a broad swath of topics - being the first female director of NCIS, her history in international relations and liaison work with British and Israeli intelligence - all of which paved a bit of a roadmap for success in federal law enforcement. 

You introduce yourself and shake her hand. “I’ve gotta tell you it was a challenge to choose between agencies in my applications, I admire your work both as an agent and director of NCIS and I was wondering…” 

You lose your nerve a bit, but steel yourself again and ask. 

“... Would you be willing to meet with me and talk about your career trajectory a little more?”

There’s a light in her eyes as she studies you with a kind of supreme benevolence and gentleness. “I would.” 

+++

“Alright,” she says, setting her napkin in her lap. “What do you want to know?” 

You laugh a little, “Is everything a good place to start?”

She laughs, and you’re immediately drawn to her warmth. There’s a kind of fire in her, and it doesn’t just come from her hair. “Not at all. Though I’ll give you some unsolicited advice now, to save some time. Find someone you can follow, someone you can learn from.”

She goes on to tell you about her mentor, still on the Major Case Response Team under her purview at NCIS. Though she’s his boss now, she tells you that she still goes to him for advice, for friendship. 

“Trusting the people you work with always comes first. It’s not always possible, but when you can manage it. It makes everything better. Always protect them where you can, and don’t ignore the politics”

You do everything except take notes as she tells more stories, how she’s switched from “probie” to Agent to diplomat to Director, before she turns back to you. 

“Do you know which unit you’re interested in, yet?” 

You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m hoping I’ll have a better idea when the Quantico unit chiefs start coming in to lecture. I’m hoping one of them will catch my interest.”

“Great idea. When one of them does, give me a call. I think any unit could benefit from someone like you.”

+++

Agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Gideon have your attention the moment they step into the room. They’re confident, with a sharp kind of intelligence you admire. 

The world of the BAU is fascinating. Serial killers, sex criminals, the very worst of depraved humanity is their everyday. While it sounds somewhat horrifying, it compels you. 

Agent Hotchner especially catches your attention. He’s confident in a kind of serious, bladed way. Clearly intelligent, he commands the attention of everyone in the room and effortlessly wields his authority among curious students and his fellow agents. 

You’d think Agent Gideon would be the obvious leader, what with all his years of experience and seniority, but even with his grasp of a field he shaped, he doesn’t hold a candle to Hotchner. 

With your half-hour-old knowledge, you put together a quick profile of the remaining figure. 

Agent Morgan, while strong and clearly an alpha male, brings a skepticism with him. It hangs in the air around him and seems to apply to both of his colleagues. There’s something about Agent Gideon that makes him uneasy, distrustful. He tends to shift his weight away from him when they get too close to each other. 

He’s not overt about his skepticism regarding Agent Hotchner, but you get the idea there’s more under the surface you couldn’t possibly know just by studying his behavior in a lecture hall. 

This is fun. 

You hide your smile in your notebook, jotting down a couple of notes as Agent Gideon continues his “brief overview of profile-driven serial killer arrests.” 

+++. 

“Director Shepard’s office.”

“Hi Cynthia,” you greet her secretary. “Is Director Shepard in?”

She connects you, and you ask about the BAU. 

“Is Jason Gideon still the unit chief over there?” She asks. You can already hear her typing and you’re more than a little concerned about her tenacity in this moment. 

“No, ma’am, it’s Agent Hotchner, now.”

“Perfect.”

+++

+++

You’re called into SSA Radner’s office the following Monday to “discuss some changes to your academy courses.” 

That doesn’t sound good. 

SSA Radner, an imposing and intimidating woman, is the SSAIC in charge of your NAT class - the person in charge of your collective fates. 

No pressure. 

She opens the door when you knock, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk. “Please, have a seat.” 

You chuckle nervously. “Thanks, Agent Radner.” You note her little smile as she sits at her desk, and chance a question. “Have I done something, I dunno, wrong? We don’t seem to find much good news in the SAIC’s office at my rank.” 

That pulls a laugh from her. “I wouldn't worry too much. I have a proposition for you. It’s...unusual, but not unheard of.” 

Your brow crumples a little and she exhales. 

“It might actually be better if - yeah. Hold on.” She clicks her intercom and her assistant chirps from the other side. 

“Yes ma’am?”

“Please send them in. I’d like to do a joint briefing.” 

Joint briefing? What is this, the third invasion of Iraq?

The door opens behind you and you whip around, finding Agent Hotchner and IOS Section Chief Erin Strauss. 

What the fuck? 

Either you’ve done something terrible or insane and you’re not sure which. 

Chief Strauss addresses you first, shaking your hand. You introduce yourself for good measure but have a feeling she already knows who you are. 

“It’s come to our attention that you have ambitious interests and are taking exceptional steps to make the most of your education and training at the academy. Is this a fair assessment?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Agent Hotchner steps forward, sort of looming over you with something that isn’t quite a stern look. You take his hand when he offers, introducing yourself and ignoring the jolt of energy that shoots up your arm at his touch. 

His handshake is firm, his hands dry and warm. He looks different up close, younger, maybe. There’s the barest touch of grey at his temples, the beginnings of lines around his mouth and eyes. 

Not what I expected.

What did you expect? 

How old could he be? Thirty-five, maybe? 

Shut up. 

He’s handsome. 

Shut up!

His face relaxes a little bit before he speaks. “Director Shepard, a close professional colleague, has been a staunch advocate for you and your talents. She approached me about taking you on, giving you case hours in lieu of some coursework.” 

“You’d have some catching up to do, as it’s already three weeks into your twenty, and we’d transfer you into the profiling classes,” Agent Radner adds. “But with your diligence, I doubt you’ll have trouble with the added workload.” 

“No, ma’am. That should be fine. But,” you look between the three of them, “what does ‘case hours in lieu of some coursework’ mean, exactly?” 

“You’d be on assignment with the BAU until you received your formal assignment following successful completion of the academy, with the possibility of assignment with the BAU as a full-fledged agent.” Chief Strauss rattles off the information as if it’s the thousandth time she’s said it. 

It might be. 

You can’t even fathom how much effort and time must have gone into this decision. The realization leaves you speechless. 

She prompts you again. “Does that sound like an opportunity in which you’d be interested?”

“Oh, yes, ma’am.” You feel a little stupid, but you’re rewarded with a proud smile from Agent Radner. 

You could also swear you saw a twitch of Agent Hotchner’s lips, but he doesn’t seem to be a man who smiles much. 

+++

“So this’ll be your desk,” Agent Jennifer-but-my-friends-call-me-JJ Jareau says, pointing to one of the many desks in the bullpen. 

You set your bag down with a little smile, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. 

Agent Morgan pats your shoulder as he passes your desk. “You’ll do just fine, kid. Ready for a case briefing in ten?” 

“Sure.”

His blinding smile eats up his whole face and you like him already. He’s different than you thought he’d be, but you still don’t think your preliminary profile was too far off.

Agent Gideon, still holed up in his office, has yet to acknowledge you. 

Your eyes keep wandering to the open blinds, behind which Agent Hotchner and a woman you understand to be his wife have a quiet, apparently heated argument on either side of his desk. Except for the tight set of her mouth and the angry glint in her eye, she seems lovely. 

Derek follows your gaze. “Wasn’t always like that.” 

You look at him, a little furrow in your brow. 

Should he be telling me this?

“She’s not always here either, but their son, Jack, has been sick, so it’s been… tense.” Derek shakes his head. “You wouldn’t catch me married in this job, not once.” 

That pulls a laugh from you. 

Emily, sitting at the desk beside you, turns in her chair. “Remind me to drink to that later.” 

Derek snorts and picks up a couple of files, headed up to the round table room. 

+++

Your first case briefing is, well...brief. The case seems fairly straightforward and you run through relevant vocabulary while JJ outlines the case details. 

Preferential offender, keeps his victims for no more than three days, victims found in public places. 

He wants them found, and fast. 

Need-based, maybe? What are his priors? 

You’re all dismissed with a brisk, “Wheels up in thirty.” 

You pack your things a little slower than probably called for. Hotch disappears into his office again, closing the door behind him. When you pass the window, his wife is tucked under his chin. 

Hotch’s eyes flicker to yours and you quickly train your gaze on the floor, hustling down the stairs. 

+++

You land next to each other when you board the plane. You do your best to avoid taking anyone's assigned seat. 

With a team of this size, you can only assume they have such things.

And they do. 

Gideon, Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss take a seat at the table while JJ perches on the arm of the couch. 

Hotch settles at the informal “head” of the table, leaning on the chairs across the aisle. You take a seat in one of the chairs in the row next to him, trying to stay out of the way. 

“C’mere, kid,” Derek says, beckoning you forward. “You’re on this team.” 

You shuffle forward in your seat, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and case file open in your hands. “I’m ready.” 

JJ smiles at you, and you almost feel comfortable. 

+++

You end up alone with Hotch in the precinct conference room after you land, unboxing files and sorting them for Spencer. Until you know enough to make yourself useful, you’ve made it your mission to handle the tedious and the clerical. 

Hotch pauses every once in a while as if he wants to say something. You continue on your way. When he’s ready, he’ll stop you. 

“I’m sorry about earlier. My wife, Haley, she -” 

You look up, waving him off with a little smile. “It’s okay, Hotch. It’s none of my business.” 

He looks at you for a minute, studying your face with a bit of a squint. “You mean that.” 

It’s not a question. 

You’re confused. 

“Of course.” A nervous laugh leaves you. “I mean, you’re welcome to tell me if you want, but it’s nothing I need to speculate or gossip about or, God forbid, profile.” 

The shock and relief war on his face until it settles back into something that looks like his usual severity, but a little softer. He doesn't say anything else, but you have the sneaking suspicion you passed a test neither one of you prepared for. 

Spencer and Emily return from their trip to the medical examiner’s office. 

“Who organized these?” Spencer asks, pointing at the neat piles you made. 

“Me.” You look up from another box you’re working on. “Would it be helpful if they’re sorted another way? I went chronologically and then by number and type of offenses, with preferential offenders that match the M.O. on top, when possible.” 

Emily, Hotch, and Spencer freeze, staring at you like you grew another head in front of them. 

You’re suddenly and violently self-conscious. “What?”

Spencer snaps out of it first, shaking his head and picking up a stack. “Nothing that’s just...um…”

“Exactly right,” Emily supplies. She glances at Hotch before looking back at you. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” 

Hotch is the last to break, but the curious little glances he keeps throwing your way always linger a little too long. 

To your credit, you ignore them. 

+++

“So, how are you liking it so far?” Derek slides into the driver’s seat and rolls out of the parking lot. 

You’re headed to another witness’s house under direct orders to observe and as a few (carefully directed) questions. Derek insisted on bringing you himself while the others keep busy with something else. 

“I’m liking it,” you reply. 

He laughs. “Coulda fooled me.” 

You screw up your face and look over at him. “What do you mean?” 

“Well,” he says through a laugh, “when you’re not making yourself ridiculously useful, you look terrified.” 

“I am terrified.” 

“Nothin’ to be scared of as long as you keep asking questions,” he says. 

It’s almost like he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds. 

“You’re joking, right?” You turn to face him, shifting in your seat. “Agent Morgan -” 

He cuts you off. You’re pretty sure that’s just how he is - he interrupts the other members of the team frequently and fearlessly. “- Derek. Or Morgan.” 

“Fine. Morgan, you have to know that your team is legendary. I don’t even know why -”

“- Don’t say it.” He flags his hand before putting it back on the wheel. “You’re here for a reason, and none of us are going to let you fall so hard you can’t pick yourself up, okay?” He glances over, meeting your eyes. “We’ve got your back.” 

You quirk a smile. “Thanks.” 

“And,” he adds, “Hotch seems to like you alright. That’s half the battle.” 

“What’s the other half?” 

He snorts. “Gideon. And local law enforcement.” 

+++

You settle in a little easier after that. JJ’s your next target as you help her make some calls to the D.A.’s office. 

You hang up and take a breath, slumping back in your chair. It’s been a long day already and it’s not even lunchtime. 

“Hanging in there?” JJ asks, smiling at you over her files. 

You nod. “Yeah. Just a… different kind of energy than the academy, I think.” 

“I felt that way when I got here, too. Gideon was unit chief back then and Spence had just started, too.” She huffs a laugh. “It was a little easier when there were more newbies, but then…” Her face clouds over and she shakes her head. 

“Then...what?” 

She looks up at you and her mouth twists. “Boston.” 

+++

“Hey, Derek?” 

“Yeah?” He keeps his eyes on the road, but he can hear the trepidation in your voice. 

The dark interior of the car feels safe in the early hours of the morning, headed back to the hotel. “You said I could ask you anything, right?” 

His eyebrows pinch. “Shoot.”

“What happened in Boston?” 

Derek takes a breath and lets it out in a whoosh. “I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be there.” 

You wait on him, watching him watch the road. 

“Unsub holed himself up in a massive warehouse. Gideon called in all the support he could - A Team, B Team, SWAT, the whole nine. I was visiting my mom in Chicago for her birthday like I do every year.” 

He stops at a red light, and you take a moment to look past him into the adjacent SUV, where Emily and Hotch’s profiles rest in a statuesque silhouette, backlit by the streetlamp. 

“It was a trap from the start. Everyone pushed in on Gideon’s order and the whole thing just…” He tosses his hand up and it lands with a smack on the leather steering wheel. “It just went up. Boom. Six BAU agents in our unit, dead, just like that. Had to rebuild from scratch.” 

You shiver, though the car is warm. “I’m so sorry, Derek.” 

He shrugs. “Gideon took six months off, Hotch took over. Gideon came back, Hotch stayed up front.” He smiles a little. “Haley wasn’t happy, but that’s the job.” 

Why does it always come back to Haley? To Hotch? 

Because he’s the unit chief. 

I know but…

Don’t read into it. 

You decide to push, just because it’s Derek, because he seems to know, because you feel safe with him, because it might be a mistake. “Is that what you meant?”

“Hm?” His head turns just a little toward you, his brow furrowed. 

“You told me on my first day ‘It wasn’t always like this.’ Is that what you meant?”

“No sane man would take on the unit chief position with a wife and baby on the way.” He shrugs and with a secret little smile says, “But nobody ever accused Hotch of being sane.” 

+++

Aaron sits in front of his computer, the end of his pen tapping on the glossy wood of his desk. 

Does he have feedback? He’s not sure. 

Even with your limited knowledge, you’ve managed to optimize most of the administrative bullshit and political nonsense that clogs most local investigations. You bounce between acting as his shadow and JJ’s, making friends and soothing hurts when toes inevitably get stepped on. 

You’ve immediately adapted to his style of criticism and correction, using Derek and Spencer as guide-rails when you’re not sure where you’re going. 

There’s nothing to complain about. 

But then again…

Feedback isn’t just about the negative. 

If he’s honest with himself, he knows he won’t shower you in the glowing praise you deserve. Gideon never did for him or anyone that came after. 

It’s not in their nature, or his. 

He starts to type. 

Glancing out his office window, his eyes find you hunched over your desk, poring over one of Spencer’s notebooks, a pinch in your brow as deep as the Grand Canyon. 

You work hard, impossibly hard. You throw everything you have at your work in the field while managing your courses and keeping up with your classmates. 

That in mind, he drafts an email to Jenny. 

With a sigh, he sends it.

He’s still thinking of what you said on the last case, the genuine truth of it, and how many times he has done his best to preempt the gossip that plagues this office, no matter who it’s about. 

This unit, as much of a family as it may be, constantly wraps itself in the business of everyone else. To know you couldn’t give less of a shit about his marriage when the rest of the team (save Gideon) probably has money on when Haley calls it quits is, admittedly, refreshing. 

+++

After being in the field, classes take on a new kind of banality. You’re keeping up well enough, but watching Gideon and Derek quarrel over the details of a profile beats diving into the techniques - you guessed it - Gideon developed from cases past. 

Hotch and Garcia were gracious enough to CC you on emails while you were grounded at the academy, but it wasn’t the same. 

It was hard not to feel left behind, like the last kid chosen for dodgeball in PE class, watching the rest of the unit leave the office. You hung back in the bullpen as long as you could find something to do this morning, making it to class at the very last minute. 

Even after lectures, your classmates want nothing more than your attention. You’re suddenly consulting on three different practicals and never have a lunch to yourself.

Most afternoons, you sneak into the bullpen just for some peace and quiet. 

You hear your last name and look up, finding Erin Strauss approaching you. You stand. “Ma’am.”

“What are you working on?”

You look down at your desk, finding practical and theoretical exam notes shuffled around next to mock consults and other nonsense Hotch dropped on his way to the jet earlier in the week. “Course work, mostly. It’s nice to… get away every once in a while.”

Erin nods with a little smile. “I’d imagine you’ve been pretty popular lately.”

You shrug, a little facetious. “You could say that.”

She pays your shoulder in a surprisingly maternal gesture, before wishing you luck and leaving you to your work. 

At this point, you can’t even imagine just being an FBI agent. 

+++

You’ve just closed your burning, tired eyes when your phone rings. 

You answer, your last name a grumble into the mic. 

“It’s Hotch.”

You sit up straight in bed, immediately awake. “Sorry, sir, I -“

“I should apologize. I don’t mean to interrupt your studying or wake you but I think I could use your opinion on this profile.”

You frown in the dark, flipping your desk lamp on. “My help, sir?”

“Yeah.”  He heaves a sigh and you can almost see the fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been looking at it too long.”

“Maybe Derek, can -“

“No. You. Here, listen -“

He rattles off the details of the case and you snatch your notebook and pen off the desk, jotting things down as Hotch continues through the case. 

“Have you identified and contacted local individuals who fit the victimology, taken steps to protect them? He’s a preferential offender with a predictable cooling-off period, right?” 

For some reason, this isn’t half as exhausting as the practical exam practice you’d been working on for the last five hours. You may or may not have written those exact questions about fifteen times, but it’s far less exhausting when directed at Hotch. 

“Yeah. Two high-risk victims are in protective custody and JJ’s been in touch since this morning.”

You go through a few more basic questions, getting your feet under you, before asking the one you’re really after. 

“Sir, why did you call me?”

“I needed another set of eyes.”

You huff a laugh. “No, I gathered that, but why did you call me? I’m in the middle of learning about something you’ve been doing for…” You search for a number, but your brain is fried. 

“Too long,” he supplies. 

“Sure. But my point stands.”

“That it does.” Something creaks in the background and you imagine he’s leaned back in his chair. 

“Did I help?” You’re happy he can’t see your dubious, if not entirely doubtful, expression. 

He’s happy you can’t see the little fond smile on his face. “Yes, actually. You did.”

+++

“Wheels up in thirty.” 

You all stand from the table and start your routines. Emily and Spencer make a beeline for the coffee machine while JJ jets back to her office for contact sheets and files and all manner of coordinating materials. 

Derek’s routine is simple enough - he already has his coffee and his go bag, so he’s answering a few emails before wheels up. 

You never really know what to do during this liminal space, so you stick to classwork. 

Much to your surprise, you’ve shot ahead in your classes on the shoulders of Derek and Spencer. They’ve been monumentally helpful with the history and application of profiling techniques (though much of Derek’s advice has been ‘just watch Gideon,’ you’re not sure how to watch a process that takes place entirely inside the man’s head). 

You ride with Hotch to the airstrip, looking out the window most of the way. It’s only a five minute drive, but the tree-lined roads around Quantico are always lovely this time of the morning. 

As always, you do your best to stay out of the way on the plane, taking up residence on Hotch’s right with your notebook and case file. 

You offer some thoughts here and there, not pushing too much or saying enough to make an ass of yourself. 

When Hotch calls break, the rest of the team scatters to their respective corners. 

Gideon turns to you, gesturing with one finger. “Hey, ah…” 

Spencer chirps your last name from across the cabin and you shoot him a grateful smile. 

“Good job in the briefing, today.” 

And with that, he disappears to the far side of the cabin, leaving you and Hotch alone by the table. 

“Wow,” you say with a little smile. “I didn’t know he was aware of my existence.” 

Hotch doesn’t say anything, but his lips twitch. 

Success. 

+++

“Welcome back, kiddo!” Derek offers you fist and you bump your knuckles against his on your way back to your desk. “How’d those exams go?”

You huff, playing at defeat. “Oh, you know.” 

“Don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.” 

Hotch, returning from a meeting with Strauss, hardly looks up from the file in his hand when he says, “Well done on your exams. SSA Radner threatened to hang your marksmanship targets on her wall.” 

You hide a smile. “Thanks, Hotch.” 

“Not fair!” Spencer says, tossing another Tums in his mouth. “I never passed those.” 

“Then how on earth do you have that, Reid?” You point at his six-shooter, still clipped to his hip. 

“Wait wait wait,” JJ says, dropping her files and crossing her arms. “You haven’t heard that story?” 

Your eyes flicker from Derek, to JJ, to Spencer, and back. “...No.”

JJ settles in, regaling you with a wild tale of an L.D.S.K. - 

“You remember what that stands for, right?” Derek points at you and you have a feeling this is about to become some kind of pop quiz. 

“Yeah. Long Distance Serial Killer.” 

“Good. Famous unsubs include…?” 

You sit back in your chair with a little smirk on your face. “D.C. Snipers Muhammad and Malvo, active October 2002, seventeen victims total. Apprehended by agents from the FBI Baltimore field office -” 

Derek holds up a finger. “And?”

“- and the BAU and the Maryland State Police.” 

“Good.” 

JJ waits for Derek to nod at her and she continues what you imagine to be a rather embellished version of a story in which Hotch and Reid save the day.

“...And then Hotch just starts kicking the shit out of Spencer -” 

Hotch’s office door shuts and he sails down the stairs with one of those little secret smiles. “This one ends with Reid stealing my sidearm and shooting the unsub in the head.” He taps right between his eyebrows in the barest of pauses on his way out of the bullpen. “Dead center.” 

Derek and JJ groan, both whining about how he ruined the punchline before devolving into a fit of giggles. You can almost see the smirk on his face as he pushes through the glass door and turns the corner. 

You join in the mirth, ruffling Reid’s hair. He smiles widely at you. 

Maybe you could just get used to this place.   

+++

The second round of classes on top of added case hours (you’re traveling with the unit more often than not) nearly brings you to the brink. 

On the plane back to Quantico, you realize you can’t remember the last time you actually had a full night of sleep. 

The rest of the unit is out cold, curled into themselves or stretched out under blankets, save for Hotch and Gideon. 

Gideon’s writing in that wretched notebook again, entirely focused on his work under the weak reading light. 

Aaron sits beside you on the other side of the cabin, looking over a few files before returning home. You watch him check his watch, sigh, shrug, and pull out his phone. To your surprise, he doesn’t move to give himself space as he calls his wife. 

“Hey, honey, it’s me… Yeah, we’re on the plane. Should be back within the next hour and a half... “ 

He sighs and tightly closes his eyes. “Haley, please… Yes, I know Jack’s already asleep… Are you implying I didn’t do my damnedest to - Then what’s your point?...” 

His voice never once rises above a low murmur. It’s impressive.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can… No, I won’t pass ‘Go’ or collect two-hundred dollars or step foot into my office… Yes. Plane. Tarmac. Car. Home… Yeah… Love you too.” 

He snaps his phone shut and leans back, tipping his head against the headrest.  

You stay quiet, continuing your review of S.S.A. Bailey’s course on, ironically, conflict de-escalation. 

Hotch takes a talking breath and you look over at him, keeping a kind of soft understanding on your face - really, shooting for anything that isn’t curiosity. 

“I appreciate your…” He looks for a word. “Discretion.” 

You laugh a little down your nose. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s none of my business?”

“How many times do I have to imply that a phrase like that isn’t in the vocabulary of this team, usually?” He shifts a little, and you notice his thumb, running along his forefinger like he’s searching for bone. 

“Is it really that bad?”

Hotch raises his eyebrows, and you relent. 

“Fine.” You drop your voice. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen?”

He shrugs. “An outside perspective might be nice.” 

You keep your eyes on your book as you speak, keeping your volume low and your tone as neutral as you can. 

“I’ve seen how Emily worries about fitting in - I can’t help but relate. This team is a family and it’s… hard to break through that sort-of-wall to the outside world.” 

The prickly feeling of his eyes on you isn’t altogether unpleasant, but you still haven’t grown used to it. 

“Derek and Spencer are worried about Gideon and,” you glance at him briefly, “so are you. Everyone seems to want to know why, but I don't think that’s always useful.” 

Hotch hums once, maybe in agreement - you’re not too sure. 

You are sure, though, that this was a test. 

“How’d I do, Counselor?”

It’s never too early to invoke the J.D. hanging in a frame behind his desk. It was the first thing you noticed and suddenly, a lot more made sense. 

You’re rewarded with a small smile. “Not bad. Though you did forget to drop in the little bit about my marriage.” 

“I didn’t forget,” you assure him.

“No?” 

“No. I figure if you have something to say, you seem like the kind of person who’d just say it. At least,” you shrug, “that’s my impression.” 

He’s quiet for a minute before he squints and looks over your shoulder at your reading. His brown eyes track down the page before returning to yours. He’s close to you, but you’re not uncomfortable. 

Hotch is...safe. Somehow. 

“There’s a reason you’re the exception. Not sure what it is yet,” he says. “But there’s a reason.” 

“What?” 

He leans back, a cryptic little smile on his face, and says nothing else for the rest of the flight.

+++

“Hotch, are you sure it’s not a trick question?” 

“The questions aren’t designed to trick you,” comes a voice from the doorway. To your surprise, it’s Gideon. “They’re designed to stretch and reveal your instincts. No right answer.” 

The corners of his mouth turn down while his eyebrows rise in that kind of halfway-encouraging look he sometimes gets. “Just go with your gut.” 

He disappears and you turn back to Hotch, scribbling away in a file. 

“He’s right.” 

Your brain feels less and less bound to your body as the days pass. “Am I nuts, or is that the most words he’s strung together since I got here, combined?” 

What you now know to be a smile twitches at Hotch’s mouth. “You’re not nuts.” 

You sigh and turn your attention back to your mock exam, twiddling your pencil between your fingers. “I’m sorry to keep bugging you with homework - it feels like cheating.” 

He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Resourcefulness is not cheating. If it was, I’d have to go back and get my J.D. out of a Cracker Jack box.” 

You muffle a laugh.

He checks his watch. “I have a check-in with the budget office in five minutes. You’re welcome to stay right where you are, but it’ll be boring and I plan to do a lot of pacing.” 

You hold your hands up in surrender and settle in. 

Friday afternoons in the office feel a lot like Saturdays in the office - which is to say, nothing happens at all. The rest of the team is catching up on paperwork while Gideon walks laps with his little notebook. 

Not three minutes into his conversation, Hotch stands and begins to pace, as promised. 

"No, we can't cut the technology budget... Because if the BAU gets called to a remote region, we need to have immediate access to satellite phones and our technical analyst… Yes… Send the budget to the Director, and I'm certain it'll come back approved without changes… The arrest and prosecution rate of this unit is -” 

His desk phone rings and he gestures for you to pick it up. 

“Agent Hotchner’s office,” you say with more than a little trepidation. You’re definitely not qualified to answer the unit chief’s phone. 

“Goddamn it, Aaron why can’t you -” She pauses. “Wait. Sorry. Who is this?” 

You introduce yourself. “I’m currently on-assignment with the unit. It’s… unconventional.” 

“Hm. Why are you answering Aaron’s phone?” Her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s more curious than that. You’d imagine this doesn’t happen all that often. He’s either at his desk, or he’s not at his desk. 

She calls him Aaron. 

You’re not sure why that surprises you. They’re married, and he has a first name. 

Taking a look across the room, you watch Hotch’s profile as he continues to defend the budget he submitted. 

Aaron. 

You make an attempt to see the man behind the suit, the man who goes home to his wife and son when he can. 

“I’m using his office to study for my academy exams. I’ll see if I can reach Agent Hotchner for you. Just a second.”

She snorts something that could be a laugh if it wasn’t so sharp. “Thanks.” 

Hotch looks over and squints at you, mouthing, Who is it? 

You put her on hold and answer in a stage whisper. “It’s your wife.”

Hotch freezes for just a second - it almost looks like he’s rebooting. 

He blinks three times in rapid succession before he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Tell her I’m in a meeting. I’ll call her back.” You move to reach for the phone but he holds up a finger and you freeze. “Wait two minutes.”

You follow instructions, taking the time to answer a few more mock exam questions. You try not to think too hard about his avoidance. This doesn’t seem like a particularly pressing phone call - Hotch is in budget meetings all the time. 

None of your business. 

After about a minute and a half, you pick up the phone again. 

Before you can say anything, she’s already back on her mini-rampage. About twenty seconds in, she pauses. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m still not talking to my husband, am I?”

De-escalate. Disarm. Establish rapport. 

You can do this. 

You channel Derek, using a softer tone designed to distract. Maybe you’ll sneak some humor in there, if you can manage it. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hotchner, he’s not available.” 

With a defeated sigh, she asks, flatly, “Where is he?” 

Humor. Play off her disappointment. 

“I assume he’s in a meeting or something - he likes to think he’s very important - but I can’t find him.” 

To your surprise, she laughs a little. 

You check with Hotch across the room. He rolls his eyes at you but continues his bickering. 

Success. 

“Can you just… I don’t know… Tell him I called, or something?” 

You try not to think too hard about the defeat in her tone. “I promise I’ll badger him to call you back as soon as he’s back at his desk, ma’am.”

“Wow.” She sounds impressed, and you’re not sure why. You’re not left in suspense for long. She continues - 

“You’re a way better liar than JJ. Also - please don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel old. Haley’s just fine.” 

“Of course.” 

“You know what…” She asks for your cell number and you give it to her, throwing a glance at Hotch for good measure. He’s still pacing. 

He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, but can’t say anything to you before he’s forced to respond to the poor budget clerk who drew the short straw. “No we can’t start sharing hotel rooms…”

Haley interrupts your momentary space-out. “Thanks, again. If he doesn’t have a chance to call me back, can you let him know I’m going to my sister’s for the weekend? With Jack?” 

“Sure.”

That’s another question I’m not going to ask. 

You hang up the phone and get back to your exam, trying not to feel comforted by the lull of familiarity in the room. 

+++

For some reason, you keep finding yourself alone in police precincts in the middle of nowhere with Hotch sitting across the table from you. 

“Hey,” he says. 

You look up. 

“Haley, she…” He heaves a sigh and trails off for a minute, frowning at a spot above your head. “I don’t know why I’m asking, what I’m asking.” 

You keep your eyes on him. “Shoot.” 

He takes another breath. “I don’t know how to make her happy anymore.” 

This is above my pay grade. 

“Everything I do seems to irritate her - trying, not trying, just surviving. I don’t know.” He shakes his head at your somewhat bewildered expression. “Sorry, I -” 

“No, no, Hotch. It’s fine.” You search for his eyes. “What can I do?” 

He shakes his head. “Any advice?” 

Any advice? Definitely above my pay grade. 

You also feel for him - he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t desperate. 

Besides that, it almost makes sense he’s asking you rather than anyone else on the team. They’ve all known him too long, have been too close to see his struggles clearly. They need to see him as an authority, separate from petty squabbles. 

Separate from the things that make him human. 

He needs to be a superhero for this team, and then go home and be a superhero for his family. Both parts of his life exist with a wall between them - Agent Hotchner can’t be a husband and a father in the field, and Mr. Haley Hotchner can’t be an agent at home. 

It must be lonely. 

Everyone else knows about and ignores that necessary separation. He trusts them as his colleagues, people he can rely on professionally, but perhaps not personally. 

Well, all except Emily. 

You get the feeling that he doesn’t completely trust Emily yet, but you’re not sure why. That’s another thing to figure out about the walking enigma sitting across from you. 

“Well… I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, but I think…” You search for words. 

It’s none of my business, is what you want to say. 

Instead, you offer, “Why don’t you just ask her?” 

His brow crumples. “What?”

“Ask her. You don’t know how to, I dunno, do it right on your own, it sounds like. But you’re a team, right? Just ask her.” 

You duck down to your work, getting the feeling he’d rather not be observed as he processes. There’s a part of you that wonders whether his preference for privacy masks his fear. 

Another part of you already knows the answer. 

+++

Derek and Emily walk back into the precinct, spotting the pair of you right where they left you. 

Hotch still watches you with a soft, curious frown on his face, like there’s a puzzle there he can’t quite solve. You diligently work away, sticking flags and post-its on cold cases for the board. 

“What’s with that?” 

Emily looks up from her phone. “What’s with what?”

Derek nudges his chin toward the conference room. “That.”

Emily’s brow pinches a little. “They seem to be getting along well.” Her mouth twists. “I didn’t think he’d warm up so easily. He didn’t with me.” 

“He gets like that. He’s getting better, though, ever since you called him out.” 

She snorts. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think he actually listened - I barely meant it.” 

“No, you didn’t.” Derek raises his eyebrows and searches for her eyes. “And he heard you.” 

Emily shifts her attention back to you, her posture softening. “Oh.” 

“C’mon,” Derek says, tapping her upper back with a good deal of affection. “Let’s regroup and see what we’ve got.”

+++

Aaron sits up in bed, the harsh light from the hotel table lamp illuminating the ugly wallpaper and the case files on the equally ugly bedspread. 

His fingers hover restlessly over the keys as he drafts his email, warring with himself. 

Does he want you on the team? Permanently? He’s already shown too much of his hand, revealed too much of himself, grew too comfortable too quickly. 

He’s not sure what it is about you that forced his guard down. 

You’re not the first person he’s asked about Haley, though he must admit that Gideon was next to no help. Spencer’s offered him unsolicited statistics about marital strife on three separate occasions in the past three months. 

Aaron presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. 

I live in a circus. 

He opens his eyes and reads over the email again. 

Fuck it. 

His cursor hovers over Send for just a moment before he clicks. The little whooshing sound seals his fate. 

+++

You land in Arizona and Gideon’s already on edge. There’s already another crime scene by the time you get off the plane

“This one’s going to be bad, isn’t it?” 

Derek sighs. “You’ve got good instincts. Stay close.” 

You elect yourself Derek’s shadow at the crime scene, taking notes for him while he circles and observes the body. 

Leaning close to him, you ask, “Isn’t the body positioning a sign of remorse?” 

He looks over at you with a little smile. “Yeah. Good work.” He looks across the street to Hotch, speaking with the detective. “Do yourself a favor and note that to Hotch. Make sure Gideon hears you.” 

+++

This time, you’re alone with Emily in the conference room, helping her pin and organize the board. 

“Hey,” she says, something like hesitation in her voice. 

You turn. “Yeah?” 

“Did Strauss ever…” She trails off and looks over her shoulder as Hotch, Gideon, and Derek come back in from the Arizona heat. They’re on their way to the conference room. 

“Did she ever what?” 

Emily shakes her head and forces a smile, waving you off. “Nevermind.” 

You’re not sure you get the confused look of your face before your colleagues walk through the door. 

+++

“Where are they?” Hotch watches the monitor, his eyes flickering, searching for Derek and Emily. 

You’re frozen, watching over his shoulder as the woman stabs the unsub, and then herself. Without knowing why, your mind wanders to that question Emily almost asked you the day before. 

This isn’t good. 

+++

The plane ride home is quiet, tense. 

You sit next to Hotch again. There’s not much you can do, but you shoot a text to Haley. 

5:42pm We’re flying back. Should be wheels down in Quantico in about four hours. 

She texts back after a minute. 

5:43pm Thanks. 

There’s something off - you don’t like the look of that period, but you try not to read into it too much. You’re all feeling a little unsettled after that case. 

Your eyes wander across the cabin. 

JJ’s bottom lip is firmly planted between her teeth as she stares out the window. 

Spencer’s sitting across from Gideon with a huge book in his lap, but he’s looking at Gideon more than he’s reading. 

Gideon, for once, doesn’t have his journal in his hand. He, like JJ, stares out the window, his mouth pinched. 

Emily’s eyes are restless, her breathing somewhat irregular. She’s picking at her nails. 

“Emily.” 

She looks up at you, and you tap the back of your hand with a finger. She looks down, finding her thumb and index finger close to bleeding. 

“Thanks.” She looks away from you again. 

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the view out the window was the most captivating sight in history. 

You know better. It’s just clouds. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand. Jenny. 

5:58pm How’s it going? 

You huff a little laugh down your nose. 

5:58pm Rough day. 

Hotch breaks his gaze from the window. “What’s up?” 

“Just Jenny. She’s checking in.” 

He shakes his head and you can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Good day for it.” 

6:01pm If you’re up to it, I’ll be in my office late if you want to swing by and talk about it. 6:02pm I also have booze. 

You look up to find Hotch reading over your shoulder. He backs off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to -” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

“You should go, if she’s offering.” 

You snort. “Should I be job-searching already?” 

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says with a little smile. “Jenny’s seen a lot. She’s a good resource.” 

+++

The Navy yard is quiet as you drive across the campus. The NCIS building isn’t hard to find, but it’s still unfamiliar territory. 

When you park and get cleared for access and up the elevator, most of the lights are off on the Major Case Response floor. There are still agents present, working under the warm light of their desk lamps. 

A team of four takes up the middle of the bullpen, but they barely look up as you pass them and climb the stairs. 

Cynthia isn’t at her desk - gone for the night - and Jenny’s office door is open. She also has her overhead lights turned off, giving her office a cozy, lived-in feel. 

“Hey, you,” she says, looking up with a little smile. “Just got the scuttlebutt on that Arizona case. Definitely not ideal, I hear.”

You shake your head, collapsing into a chair on the other side of her desk. “Not ideal is a good way to put it.” 

She stands and crosses the office, pouring two small glasses of some amber liquid you know is gonna burn like hell. 

You take what she offers and hold in both of your hands, not really interested in drinking it, and follow her to the couch. 

“What happened?” 

You heave a breath. “Got the call - three murders already. Clearly a preferential offender. All the women were students, brunette, similar features. We already had another crime scene by the time we landed. We used the profile, got the guy.” 

Jenny’s brow pinches. “Then?” 

“Copycat. Even came with a note exonerating the suspect we had in custody. We had to let him go without a lead on the second suspect.” 

She sighs and takes a sip of her bourbon. “Been there.” 

“We were surveilling him, waiting for him to do something stupid - we knew he would. The copycat confronted him… She was suicidal. Stabbed him, then herself. We were too late.” 

“Oh, my God.” 

You level her with an exhausted look. “Yeah.” 

“How’s your team?” 

“Tired, mostly.” You offer a humorless laugh. “Maybe in a more existential way than a physical way, not that any of us have slept…” 

The two of you chat into the early hours of the morning. She’s had more than one day like this, in more than one country. 

“It’s days like this that make you question whether you’ve chosen the right line of work.” She looks over at a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower, resting on her bookshelf. “But the good days…”

“They make it worth it, don’t they?” 

The corner of her mouth tips up in a smile. “Yeah. They do.” 

+++

You find a text from Haley when you get back into the car, not realizing you left it in the center console cup holder. 

10:38pm Thanks for getting him home safe. Get some sleep.

+++

When you come in the next morning almost embarrassingly late, Gideon’s office is still dark. 

You’re not even really sure you should be here in the first place, what with the major fuckup hanging over everyone’s heads. The last thing you want to do is go home to your room, back to those four tiny walls and textbooks, even after everything. The bullpen, this team, has become your safety net. 

They should all be here, but there’s only one absence striking you as particularly odd. “Where’s Gideon?” 

Spencer shrugs, spinning half-circles in his desk chair. He looks despondent, staring at the carpet. You don’t see Emily or Derek, but you assume they’re somewhere. 

Weird. 

You set your things down and head up the stairs, knocking twice on Hotch’s door. 

“Yeah?” He looks up and sees you, relaxing a little. 

You take a little breath. “Should I be here today?” 

“Do you want to be here today?” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite place. It almost sounds like insecurity, like he’s worried he’s scared you off. 

Far from it. 

“I do, sir. I want to be here.” You think of Jenny, and hope he can hear more than you can say. “It’s worth it.” 

You think maybe you’re figuring him out a little more. He smiles more often than you’d think, but you have to know what it looks like. This look - the softening of his eyes and the corners of his mouth, the slight crease at the corners of his eye, the threat of a dimple - is just as big a smile for him as Morgan’s human-sunshine smile. 

“Then stick around. I’ll have you work on some mock consults with Reid and Prentiss - you’ll be doing a lot of those in the next few months until you’re ready to take them on by yourself.” 

“I’ll go pick them up from JJ. They’re in her office, right?” 

He nods and you turn to leave, but you’re stopped by the sound of your name before you can get through the door. “Yeah?”

“You’ve performed remarkably well, no matter what happens after this.” 

The side of your mouth twists. “Thank you, sir.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse​ @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger​ @ssaic-jareau @davidrossi-ismydad​ @angelsbabey​ @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid​ @captain-christopher-pike​ @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em​ @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @dreila03​ @forgottenword​ @aaronhotchnerr​ @ssa-morgan​ @sana-li​ @tegggeeee​ @abschaffer2​ @ssacandice-ray​ @ellyhotchner​ @lotties-journey-abroad​ @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25​ @mooneylupinblack​ @ssareidbby​ @bwbatta​ @roses-and-grasses​ @capricorngf​ @missdowntonabbey​ @averyhotchner​ @mandylove1000​ @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor​ @spencers-hoodrat​ @popped-weasels​ @evee87​ @nuvoleincielo​ @this-broken-band-girl​ @reidtomestyles​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @winqhster​ @the-falling-in-the-danger​ @iconicc​ @mangoberry43​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @kerrswriting​ @mac99martin​ @itsalwaysb33nyou​ @baumarvel​ @messyhairday-me​ @ssworldofsw​  @deagibs​ @crazyshannonigans​ @moonshinerbynight​ @jhiddles03​ @teamhappyme​ @mendesmelodies​ @starsandasteroids​ @unicorn-bitch​ @ambicaos​ @bispences​

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic