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#istg if anyone tries to say I’m homophobic for this-
tundrainafrica · 3 years
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hi, maybe you're tired about this kind of convie regarding hange's gender but i really need your opinion. is it that wrong if i consider hange as a she? istg i'm not anythingphobic, i'm just still stuck with female hange in anime. i stan aot since 2013 and felt just fine to open up about my preference in hange's gender but lately, considering hange as a she is like the most sinful thing in the whole planet and even being attacked and i don't know what to feel about it. 😩
Thank you for the ask anon! 
Lmao, I am tired of this discourse but I’ve kinda accepted that it’s never gonna end really so I’m still happy to give you my opinion about this again. 
I have written about it here.
Before I go into this long ramble again I’d like to clarify some terms which tend to pepper the discourse of gender, sexuality etc etc etc. 
Biological Sex: What genitalia where you born with? Either born male, female or with both genitalia. 
Gender: What do you identify as? CIS, Trans, Nonbinary etc.
Sexuality: Who are you attracted to? Homosexual, Heterosexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Pansexual etc. 
Gender roles: Where do you fall on the gradient? Feminine, Masculine etc. 
And the point of this is, the discourse on gender is soooo complicated. Like very complicated because Hange being interpreted as NB to some people only covers the question of gender. Like these do not cover every other facet of the gender sexuality discourse. 
Because everything up there is ‘mutually exclusive’ to a degree because everyone is so complex. Like you can take a random option in each of those, fit it together in our heads and you would still come up with a realistic person. Because that is how complex human beings are. I have friends who decided to get a boyfriend, realized they were trans, transitioned to male but had both boyfriends and girlfriends. I have a butch lesbian friend who dated a few guys then decided to date girls then decided to transition. You have me who literally tried everything on the sexuality spectrum, crushed on a few girls in high school, crushed on a few more girls in college, thought I was asexual for a while, fell in love with a guy and realized I love dick. 
You can actually have a biological male who identifies as nonbinary but is bisexual  but has feminine tendencies. 
And that’s why even I find it so confusing to address the issue of non binary Hange vs female Hange. Because they are not even in the same bracket. Like we can have a non binary female feminine bisexual Hange all at the same time if you think about it. 
If you have read all my fics and all of my meta about Hange, you would see that I refer to her as a ‘she,’ but at the same time, I do not portray Hange as overly feminine. I headcanon that Hange has tried dating women and I also head canon that Hange has female genitalia (yo, I write preggo Hange fics). She actually falls somewhere in the middle. And what makes the gender part so hard to consider is because usually whether someone decides to identify as CIS, NB or Trans is up to the person. 
And there are just so many other hcs I want to tackle as a fanfiction writer and as a Hange stan beyond her gender and that’s why I don’t really headcanon the whole discovery part because even as a kid, I have never been so particular about my gender. I know I’m a biologically a woman, I have feminine and masculine tendencies. I have loved both men and women. but gender just seemed like just a decision which I just didn’t want to think too hard about.
I mean where I live, my first language doesn’t have gender pronouns so I can avoid the whole discourse altogether by just using Tagalog. I’m the type of person who will just have this person think I’m a man all the way until they meet me because I just wanna get things done and I feel no need to correct people. My first crushes were all women, despite my being a woman and the first people I have ever loved were women and I didn’t want to decide whether I was bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual etc. yet because even teenage me just found it way too complex and too final and just went around saying I liked this girl or I liked this guy and generally because I’m that type of person, I don’t spend a lot of my time thinking about gender even in a fandom space unless somebody asks.   
And does it make me homophobic/LGBT-phobic etc etc for deciding to use ‘she’ and deciding to tackle questions about Hange beyond her gender? No. Like this conclusion is inherently flawed. I was hella gay for a huge point in my life. 99% of my crushes were women. Then there was this period where I didn’t enjoy romance The only guy irl I have ever crushed on is my current boyfriend. But even when I explored my own gender, sexuality, it was always an ‘in the back of my mind’ thing. I didn’t have huge personal metas about what exactly my gender was or where exactly I fall or what pronouns I prefer.
And nobody is obliged to look so deep into this discourse. The important thing is in real life, we respect people’s pronouns, we respect the names they want to go by and we respect people’s preferences (as long as they aren’t dangerously criminal.)
And the thing is, this isn’t even real life. This is a fandom space. And in a fandom space, everyone is literally interpreting characters however they want. We have people literally pairing off Levi with both men and women and technically we’re assuming Levi’s gender, sexuality etc. Sure it might diverge from canon but does that make our headcanon any less than the others? Like Levi’s sexuality has never been confirmed and technically we’re all just assuming what kind of person Levi would have wanted to fuck right? Like every yaoi pairing, every ship is just fans assuming someones gender, assuming someone’s sexuality. 
And sure people could argue, ‘Yams’ didn’t confirm her gender. But Yam’s didn’t confirm anyone’s sexuality either but here we are pairing Mikasa off with Annie then pairing Mikasa off with Eren. Like same energy with ships, are there ships which are inherently superior to others? And technically, I could headcanon Levi as a woman if I wanted to and no one could stop me. I mean sure let’s celebrate that some of our headcanon and preferences have been acknowledged but what battle are we trying to win here really. 
To answer your question, it is not wrong. Having any opinion and having whatever headcanon you have about any fandom in this space is not wrong.
Sure, Hange is a comfort character to many people for various reasons. Hange is a comfort character for me but Hange is not any single person’s comfort character. Hange is a gift to us by Yams to interpret and play with however we want. Hell, every other character we’ve ever grown to love was a gift to all of us by the author. And we can choose to hc them however we want. That is the magic of fandoms.
If I wanted to, I could make some eruri and ereri mpreg fics for the kicks, I could interpret Levi as every single gender, sexuality on the spectrum and it would be just as valid. I mean I won’t because I don’t jive with those headcanons or those types of ships but I would respect people who have those types of preferences.
This space is free for everyone. We can choose what we want to consume and we can choose how we want to interpret characters. 
The only responsibility we have as fans is to use the right warnings when we post shit and to respect everybody else’s preferences. 
What I would consider ‘sinful’ is just dropping some unnecessary hate into a place which is supposed to be our safe space or pushing an agenda or an opinion and being hateful about it in the process. Like sure, spread your agenda, spread your opinions and your headcanons but please be nice about it.
We’re all just sad people trying to survive in this crapsack world.
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literally! i could go on a whole rant about my family back in india, but i’ll save you the horrible details. sexist, homophobic and racist assholes but they’re family and ridiculously charming so sometimes you can’t help but like them a little bit occasionally.
i remember being young and instantly wanting to label myself which obviously didn’t turn out to well. in a weird way i felt like i couldn’t ever “come out” to anyone- like it wasn’t until dan’s video that it rlly clicked that my identity as a lgbt person didn’t have to rely on labels. sorry that got deep, but i’m queer and i love it. just a baby queer 🥺🏳️‍🌈
ahhhh i hate to say it but you’re missing out! there’s a lot of rlly well written fics and cute headcannons :)
also yes there is a dnp in every universe. magnus is more like theatrical so like dan vibes. and ig phil is a bit more quiet and awkward? phil would also be catastrophic with a bow and arrow here let’s be honest. in conclusion, there is a dnp in every universe but phil somehow always gets himself in trouble (the man ate superglue for gods sake)
istg the first time i watch a joint video everything goes over my head cause i’m just freaking out over them and it’s only till like the third time when i start registering things lmao. (also dan video!! it’s going to be my first dinof upload!!)
a.. a toilet museum for the piece of shits we are. babe!!! you know me so well! *wipes away tears*
awhh tree you missed me! (also we’re newlyweds we’re allowed to be clingy on main smh. also i forget other people can read these lmao. shout out to the confused bystanders and lurkers!)
anyways, ilysm <3
mwah! (here’s your kiss)
- indi <3 <3
(with an extra long reunion hug cause i missed you loads)
p.s- guess what? i think you’re hilarious too :) (mwah! surprise kiss!)
no but you got it exactly right, i hate the things they say and do 90% of the time, but they'll say one (1) thing thats okay and im immediately back at square one loving them. it feels so weird sometimes to know they hate parts of me and love other parts, but i guess i kind of do that as well, and honestly im never going to be smart enough to sit down and figure it out, so i might as well roll with it
it was the same for me -- as soon as i figured out i was queer i instantly slapped labels on myself and interchanged them when they didnt fit faster than swatting a fly, which probably wasnt that great for my mental health at the time, and it was only after i spent two hours googling different labels and realizing i had literally tried all of the ones i'd been seeing that i was like oh screw it and legit a week later i was like why the FUCK didnt i do this before bc i was so much happier with a broad label to call myself and no label in my head than i ever was trying to mold myself into one. i love being queer tooooo!! best part about having such a broad definition of yourself is relating to everyone and not feeling like one group "owns" you more than the other. it quite literally is "you gay??? i gay!!! yay!!!!!"
no yeah im definitely going to read some (when i remember lol. symbrock owns my heart rn) if theyre Like That in the books i can only imagine fics 😌 malec my beloved (also looking forward to finding malex fics mixed between, like rick i know you're a cassie stan but maybe chill lol) (ah that reminds me, i just got chain of iron and the dedication 🥺 author besties are the best, i cant wait to read it) (but goddamn, its so Thicc, its one huge book)
gods, if i had any art skills whatsoever i would draw dan with warlock robes and cat eyes, plus can you imagine phil with runes and a seraph? wouldnt even have to change anything bc phil has black hair and blue eyes and magnus has brown hair 😌 they really are in every universe through and through. plus, alec is pretty clumsy too, hes mostly good with a bow bc of his sure-strike runes and etc, so theres still hope for phil. and i can definitely see dan being like "ugh shadowhunters get them out- oh? shadowhunter pretty? mine"
no but actually, i also watch them in a state of shock and wouldnt be able to answer any questions whatsoever about it until the third rewatch. honestly if it weren't for so many people live-reacting i would have absolutely no clue what's going on (ahhh your first dan video!! you are about to love your dinof virginity, i hope youre prepared 😌 glad its a full-out production for the post-big phannies bc honestly yall deserve a comeback in style)
*blushes* aw shucks. well, we got married for a reason, didnt we? 🥰
☺ i did miss youuu 🥺 (you jest but i'd be that annoying friend whos like you wanna know what my spouse did yesterday *no* oh well, they- and do that for at least a year, lmao. i also forget other people read these, it's like what??? no we were whispering?? shout out to the non-indians reading our telugu rants and quietly muttering whatthefuckwhatthefuck under their breaths, we're not on drugs i promise)
ily toooo <3
mwah mwah, i missed you so you get two <3
(*hugs you back really hard bc i missed you too*)
ilysm indi <3
😊🥰🥺 awww thank youuuu (ah! you got me again!! mwah) <3
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krokonoko · 4 years
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the heart wants what it wants. and as much as I love my angst, sometimes I need me some freaky shit like,,, Lacho AUs in which the cartel is not a factor and Lalo and Nacho are just. REGULAR ASS BOYFRIENDS.
LOTS of assorted headcanons under the cut!
shield thine eyes, there’s some heavy ass fluff incoming.
Lalo has his own little restaurant. No one knows how it stays afloat with the erratic way Lalo’s leading it, but it seems his family’s somehow just absolutely loaded, so he can afford it. Honestly sometimes it feels like he just uses it to fuck around with new recipes. Like there’s no real rhyme or reason to what he’s doing, but everyone loves his food, he’s really good with the patrons and if he parties the whole night through then it doesn’t matter cuz the next morning the kitchen still looks spick and span and Lalo’s awake and chipper, ready for the next day! How does he do it? No one knows, especially not his staff. But when someone asks, he just laughs it off and changes the subject and oh my god he’s so charming how could anyone resist him? -
Lalo’s still on the antisocial spectrum and manic af in this AU, so his approach to relationships and emotions is a bit different than your neurotypical one. He seems to have a penchant for breaking rules, can be manipulative at times, and certain things don’t affect him the way you’d expect. But most of the time you wouldn’t even know, cuz generally he’s a really affable guy who’s a lot of fun to be around. He’s genuinely trying not to step on anyone’s toes. That being said, you don’t like him then yeah, he don’t give two shits. -
Nacho used to be part of some gang, but got out in time. He now studies business or something like that. He’s super ambitious and keeps badgering his papá about investing into technical improvements that would make his shop more effective and streamlined. Manuel gets heart burn every time Nacho runs the numbers by him. He’s been running the shop for longer than Nacho is alive, he’s not gonna contract new debts after it took him so long to pay everything off...! And Nacho insists that’s how business WORKS, it’s all about investment and growth. Manuel says with a smile that when the shop is Nacho’s, he can stuff it with all the novelty apparatuses that he wants, but he’ll have to wait until Manuel is no more, and Nacho is like papá don’t be so overdramatic...!! And Manuel laughs and pats Nacho’s back because actually he’s really proud of his son and the fact that he’s so concerned with the shop and they’re HAPPY GODDAMMIT -
For some reason this AU doubles as a modern AU as well. Which means smartphones exist. Nacho spends. SO much time on Instagram. Photos of his car. Photos of Nacho leaning against his car. Gym selfies. All over the damn place. And Lalo doesn’t understand insta cuz he’s a tech averse king, but he still secretly checks out Nacho’s blog all the time cuz yummy! Sometimes he comments on Nacho’s posts with a bunch of. really weird emojis, half of which don’t mean what Lalo thinks they mean, and Nacho thinks it’s cringe af. -
They’ve been having this thing going on for about a year and they’re both suuuper casual about it, like, SO casual, especially Nacho, wow he is so incredibly low key about this, like he is not too all over this or anything, just the right amount of relaxed, laid back, so cool, yeah. -
Just that Lalo is actually incredibly flirty all the time and courts the hell out of Nacho, he’s almost a bit gentleman-like about it, almost a bit old-school, and Nacho thinks that’s kinda dope and the way Lalo treats him like he’s the sexiest thing on earth sometimes comes across as a little condescending but there’s something about it, too, that makes Nacho sometimes lie awake at night thinking about it, brushing his thumb over his lower lip and thinking about the way Lalo pulls him in for kisses. -
When Lalo picks Nacho up from the gym, Nacho smiles when he sees him. When Lalo cracks a crude joke about making people swallow condoms, Nacho chuckles. When Lalo makes him food, Nacho enjoys it. When they walk along the sidewalk in the evening, Nacho casually bumps into Lalo and Lalo puts an arm around Nacho. When Lalo is close, Nacho feels comfortable, and warm, and drawn to him. -
Nacho has had a couple of girl- and boyfriends, but he’s only ever introduced Manuel to his girlfriends. Manuel’s known that Nacho’s into boys ever since he came home early to teenage Nacho and Domingo sitting on the living room couch 6 ft apart with their shirts rumpled and their faces red as beet. But Nacho didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so Manuel respected that. He’s a bit concerned cuz he’s afraid Nacho feels like he can’t talk to him, but he wouldn’t wanna push him. -
So all of Lalo’s attempts to meet papá Varga have been met by Nacho with stone-walling and general avoidance. -
But Lalo’s a very family oriented person so he just decides to make it a surprise dinner! At first Manuel is a bit wary cuz alright, what’s going on, who is this guy? But then Lalo turns up the charm and he’s just one of these guys who are absolutely stellar at wooing older ppl. So he keeps charming circles around Manuel with food and jokes, and Manuel kinda starting to like this guy, and when Manuel wants to get himself some more beer- nonono you stay put Sr. Varga, I’m gonna take care of this for you - and then they get to the part of the evening where Manuel tells childhood stories about Nacho like how he cried when he lost his first tooth and Lalo is just ab-so-lute-ly ENTHRALLED by it all and before you know it he and Manuel are BFF. -
all the while Nacho just. SEETHES in his corner. -
Manuel leaves and Lalo and Nacho start cleaning up the kitchen, and they’re very quiet until Nacho just goes “are you going to tell me what the hell all that was about?” and Lalo’s like “???” and Nacho’s just. “That little sing-and-dance you just did there? Like. What’s your end-game here. If this was some kind of attempt to get to me through my, dad, to, idk, somehow get emotional leverage over me, istg...!” And Lalo’s gets honestly serious and looks and Nacho all earnest-like... “man... is it really that hard to believe that it’s important to me that your dad likes me...?” and then he goes “you know what, Ignacio, you seem upset. Why don’t you just go home and leave the kitchen to me, yeah?” and so Nacho does, and he’s really angry at Lalo, and he doesn’t really get what just happened there. -
a couple days later his dad calls him and Nacho is kinda concerned but Manuel doesn’t pick up on it, he’s just like “Mijo, I just. Wanted to say how important that was to me, to meet your boyfriend, he’s a really nice y-...nice man.” (Nacho notices the gap where the “young” should have been lmao) and actually Manuel is trying to be like “Mijo, I am supportive of you please notice that I am trying to tell you that I think this is super okay!” but Nacho is so busy being confused cuz he’s never referred to Lalo as his boyfriend in his head even though they’ve been at this for over a year. So Nacho’s kinda monosyllabic and like “so. he didn’t upset you or anything?” and Manuel’s like “noo, he was really friendly. You didn’t give him a hard time, did you, Ignacio...??” Manuel gets all stern and fatherly...!! “Let me tell you one thing. Not a single one of your girlfriends has ever been this polite or interested in me. This man, he’s being serious about you. Maybe it’s time to stop being cautious.” -
and that’s when it starts to dawn on Nacho that that’s. Honestly all there is to it. Lalo wasn’t trying to manipulate him or whatever. He honestly just noticed that Manuel is an important part of Nacho’s life, and wanted to connect with that. And that is- actually. really sweet of him, what the fuck?!? -
Nacho lays awake again that night and notices that there’s something going on in his chest, like something big and warm blooming there and oh my fucking god you can’t be SERIOUS this is RIDICULOUS he’s way too old for this shit, AND way too worldly-wise and all that! -
So Nacho drives by Lalo’s place the other day and asks him whether he wants to go for a drink and so they go to a bar and sit there in silence for a moment until Nacho goes “my dad asked about you” and Lalo chuckles and is like “yeah? at least someone who misses me!” and Nacho rolls his eyes but he’s kinda got it coming now. Anyway, so, Nacho starts explaining that his dad is the most important person in his life, and he is soft and sweet and precious and a national treasure that must be protected at all costs and if someone was to hurt him and all that jazz. And Lalo’s like, yeah, no, I get it. Family is everything. And your dad is a really cool guy.  The problem is that for Nacho, it’s just been him and Manuel against the world for so long, he’s gotten kinda prickly about letting anyone else get close to his dad. But maybe this is good, and maybe, oh god he doesn’t really wanna think about it in that much detail, but like, Lalo gets it, and they leave the bar together and Lalo immediately gets out his phone and calls Manuel like “Sr. Varga, I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing! What, Nachito? He’s doing fine. No, nooo, he’s not been mean at all. Couldn’t if he tried. Well, I hope you have a great evening. Yeah, talk to you soon!” and Lalo’s just absolutely obnoxious about this, winking at Nacho and everything and Nacho sighs and accepts his punishment. (Later Lalo’s gonna be like “of course you were right, I did have ulterior motives. I was just trying to butter you up for the dinner I have planned with my uncle Hector!” and Lalo keeps talking about how much he loves his tio and how he’s basically a father figure to him and such a great guy. But then they meet him and Lalo only introduces Nacho as “a friend”, and Hector is this grumpy old guy who hates absolutely everyone and everything, can’t go two sentences without being racist, sexist or homophobic. And Nacho’s like aaalright, guess I gotta deal with THIS now. But they don’t meet him that often so it’s alright.) -
OH but Manuel is still a BIT conservative about SOME things?? Like, he’s fine with Nacho having a boyfriend, but does he have to be so. you know. old...? Like. He’s not your sugar daddy, right Ignacio...? You’re not expecting him to keep you, right Ignacio...??? And Nacho is kinda pissy because UHM?? the implications?? He would never?? He’s nobody’s trophy boyfriend. He does like getting paraded around like one every now and then but he’s not. He buys his own damn stuff. But yeah sorry Nacho, that’s just how parents are sometimes lmao -
ANYWAY the point is, they. They care. Nacho cares Lalo. And seeks out his company on his own accord without any outside influences forcing him to. And Lalo cares Nacho. And they kinda start to accept that this is. a thing. And Nacho learns to accept that he can let himself feel save and comfortable around Lalo. And they’re just regular ass boyfriends. Who go on vacation together. Who have just fantastic sex without any coercion or backstabbing involved. Who fall asleep on the couch watching movies together. Who celebrate each other’s birthdays. All that freaky shit!!! 😭😭😭
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rest-in-power · 4 years
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Still one of the best moments of my life,
So I dated this guy right? He was nerdy and we met in my yearbook class. At this point in time I wasn't necessarily OUT yet, but I was rly obvious, to the point that some people were already calling me he or they.
Long story short, we broke up cause the dude was too handsy for me and since he was "crowned" football captain (Ik, nice catch right?) he started being a bit of a douche. So we stayed friends, but were kinda on thin fuckin ice. That is, until he found out I was dating his sister.
WELL, this is when I realized I dodged a bullet because this guy was a MAJOR homophobe. Needless to say I was shocked and confused.
So he goes off about how being a lesbian is wrong and that it doesn't make sense and that I dated him so why was I dating her. I kinda squinted at him and said that dating her didn't make me a lesbian. When he gave me a confused look I realized what was going on here. So I was honest and said:
"Uh Griff? I'm a guy..."
There... there are not enough words in the English dialect to properly do justice to the look I was given after that. I shit you not, the dude looked like he was having a heart attack.
"Wait... wait but- you dated me? And you look like- and"
I quickly reminded him that HE asked ME out and that was the final straw. He just looses his shit. I explained that I'm basically Genderqueer so he starts saying that's wrong and I'm lying and shit so I just start laughing. He asks if I have a dick (ok this part I lied) I said "Well I'm a Guy aren't I?" Then it pops into my brain...
"Griff... you're Gay."
Dude tried to hit me, but istg it was like the best moment of my life. Best of all, he kept my secret better than anyone else I told because he was so terrified of people thinking he was gay. Every now and then I used to blow him a kiss in the hallway and he would just freak out. Since then people think I can beat up football players because the football captain is scared of me. I call this a win.
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rest-in-power · 4 years
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Still one of the best moments of my life,
So I dated this guy right? He was nerdy and we met in my yearbook class. At this point in time I wasn't necessarily OUT yet, but I was rly obvious, to the point that some people were already calling me he or they.
Long story short, we broke up cause the dude was too handsy for me and since he was "crowned" football captain (Ik, nice catch right?) he started being a bit of a douche. So we stayed friends, but were kinda on thin fuckin ice. That is, until he found out I was dating his sister.
WELL, this is when I realized I dodged a bullet because this guy was a MAJOR homophobe. Needless to say I was shocked and confused.
So he goes off about how being a lesbian is wrong and that it doesn't make sense and that I dated him so why was I dating her. I kinda squinted at him and said that dating her didn't make me a lesbian. When he gave me a confused look I realized what was going on here. So I was honest and said:
"Uh Griff? I'm a guy..."
There... there are not enough words in the English dialect to properly do justice to the look I was given after that. I shit you not, the dude looked like he was having a heart attack.
"Wait... wait but- you dated me? And you look like- and"
I quickly reminded him that HE asked ME out and that was the final straw. He just looses his shit. I explained that I'm basically Genderqueer so he starts saying that's wrong and I'm lying and shit so I just start laughing. He asks if I have a dick (ok this part I lied) I said "Well I'm a Guy aren't I?" Then it pops into my brain...
"Griff... you're Gay."
Dude tried to hit me, but istg it was like the best moment of my life. Best of all, he kept my secret better than anyone else I told because he was so terrified of people thinking he was gay. Every now and then I used to blow him a kiss in the hallway and he would just freak out. Since then people think I can beat up football players because the football captain is scared of me. I call this a win.
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