#it also might be my general reclusiveness and the way i am visibly uncomfortable anytime there are people

[rowan-ashtree]

many thoughts head buzzing (yet empty)

#i did one of my mini naps in which i just lay down and close my eyes for fifteen ish minutes that was nice #then my roommate came home from wherever she was and started telling me abt a weird guy who asked her out and she said she had a boyfriend #(she doesn't) #and now i'm just. hmmmm #thinking about how basically every straight girl i know gets asked on dates all the time and yet. not once has a boy asked me out #here's the thing. i don't WANT anyone to ask me out. but why haven't they #honestly it's probably (at least partially) bc i wear rainbow stuff as much as possible. specifically i have pride pins on my favorite hat. #so i guess people just assume i'm gay OR see my ace pride stuff and assume i'm not interested #which makes SENSE but is so annoying #and like. i'm not gonna stop wearing pride stuff just to see if boys will ask me out #it also might be my general reclusiveness and the way i am visibly uncomfortable anytime there are people #i do not enjoy thinking about the other option which is that. i am simply unattractive #i don't need people to think i'm pretty or whatever but. idk. i guess it still sucks thinking that people DON'T think i'm pretty #this is not a great train of thought to go down esp right now #why does my mouth feel weird #hmm #i miss my friend :( mi reina come back to me :((((( #also idk if i've mentioned this. i think i might have a crush on this guy at work. idk how to feel about that. #rowan vents #been doing a lot of venting lately lol