#it chapter 2 spoilers without context
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Heroes, Gods, and the Invisible Narrator
Slay the Princess as a Framework for the Cyclical Reproduction of Colonialist Narratives in Data Science & Technology
An Essay by FireflySummers
All images are captioned.
Content Warnings: Body Horror, Discussion of Racism and Colonialism
Spoilers for Slay the Princess (2023) by @abby-howard and Black Tabby Games.
If you enjoy this article, consider reading my guide to arguing against the use of AI image generators or the academic article it's based on.
Introduction: The Hero and the Princess
You're on a path in the woods, and at the end of that path is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is a Princess.
You're here to slay her.
If you don't, it will be the end of the world.
Slay the Princess is a 2023 indie horror game by Abby Howard and published through Black Tabby Games, with voice talent by Jonathan Sims (yes, that one) and Nichole Goodnight.
The game starts with you dropped without context in the middle of the woods. But that’s alright. The Narrator is here to guide you. You are the hero, you have your weapon, and you have a monster to slay.
From there, it's the player's choice exactly how to proceed--whether that be listening to the voice of the narrator, or attempting to subvert him. You can kill her as instructed, or sit and chat, or even free her from her chains.
It doesn't matter.
Regardless of whether you are successful in your goal, you will inevitably (and often quite violently) die.
And then...
You are once again on a path in the woods.
The cycle repeats itself, the narrator seemingly none the wiser. But the woods are different, and so is the cabin. You're different, and worse... so is she.
Based on your actions in the previous loop, the princess has... changed. Distorted.
Had you attempted a daring rescue, she is now a damsel--sweet and submissive and already fallen in love with you.
Had you previously betrayed her, she has warped into something malicious and sinister, ready to repay your kindness in full.
But once again, it doesn't matter.
Because the no matter what you choose, no matter how the world around you contorts under the weight of repeated loops, it will always be you and the princess.
Why? Because that’s how the story goes.
So says the narrator.
So now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about data.
Chapter I: Echoes and Shattered Mirrors
The problem with "data" is that we don't really think too much about it anymore. Or, at least, we think about it in the same abstract way we think about "a billion people." It's gotten so big, so seemingly impersonal that it's easy to forget that contemporary concept of "data" in the west is a phenomenon only a couple centuries old [1].
This modern conception of the word describes the ways that we translate the world into words and numbers that can then be categorized and analyzed. As such, data has a lot of practical uses, whether that be putting a rover on mars or tracking the outbreak of a viral contagion. However, this functionality makes it all too easy to overlook the fact that data itself is not neutral. It is gathered by people, sorted into categories designed by people, and interpreted by people. At every step, there are people involved, such that contemporary technology is embedded with systemic injustices, and not always by accident.
The reproduction of systems of oppression are most obvious from the margins. In his 2019 article As If, Ramon Amaro describes the Aspire Mirror (2016): a speculative design project by by Joy Buolamwini that contended with the fact that the standard facial recognition algorithm library had been trained almost exclusively on white faces. The simplest solution was to artificially lighten darker skin-tones for the algorithm to recognize, which Amaro uses to illustrate the way that technology is developed with an assumption of whiteness [2].
This observation applies across other intersections as well, such as trans identity [3], which has been colloquially dubbed "The Misgendering Machine" [4] for its insistence on classifying people into a strict gender binary based only on physical appearance.
This has also popped up in my own research, brought to my attention by the artist @b4kuch1n who has spoken at length with me about the connection between their Vietnamese heritage and the clothing they design in their illustrative work [5]. They call out AI image generators for reinforcing colonialism by stripping art with significant personal and cultural meaning of their context and history, using them to produce a poor facsimile to sell to the highest bidder.
All this describes an iterative cycle which defines normalcy through a white, western lens, with a limited range of acceptable diversity. Within this cycle, AI feeds on data gathered under colonialist ideology, then producing an artifact that reinforces existing systemic bias. When this data is, in turn, once again fed to the machine, that bias becomes all the more severe, and the range of acceptability narrower [2, 6].
Luciana Parisi and Denise Ferreira da Silva touch on a similar point in their article Black Feminist Tools, Critique, and Techno-poethics but on a much broader scale. They call up the Greek myth of Prometheus, who was punished by the gods for his hubris for stealing fire to give to humanity. Parisi and Ferreira da Silva point to how this, and other parts of the “Western Cosmology” map to humanity’s relationship with technology [7].
However, while this story seems to celebrate the technological advancement of humanity, there are darker colonialist undertones. It frames the world in terms of the gods and man, the oppressor and the oppressed; but it provides no other way of being. So instead the story repeats itself, with so-called progress an inextricable part of these two classes of being. This doesn’t bode well for visions of the future, then–because surely, eventually, the oppressed will one day be the machines [7, 8].
It’s… depressing. But it’s only really true, if you assume that that’s the only way the story could go.
“Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Chapter II: The Invisible Narrator
So why does the narrator get to call the shots on how a story might go? Who even are they? What do they want? How much power do they actually have?
With the exception of first person writing, a lot of the time the narrator is invisible. This is different from an unreliable narrator. With an unreliable narrator, at some point the audience becomes aware of their presence in order for the story to function as intended. An invisible narrator is never meant to be seen.
In Slay the Princess, the narrator would very much like to be invisible. Instead, he has been dragged out into the light, because you (and the inner voices you pick up along the way), are starting to argue with him. And he doesn’t like it.
Despite his claims that the princess will lie and cheat in order to escape, as the game progresses it’s clear that the narrator is every bit as manipulative–if not moreso, because he actually knows what’s going on. And, if the player tries to diverge from the path that he’s set before them, the correct path, then it rapidly becomes clear that he, at least to start, has the power to force that correct path.
While this is very much a narrative device, the act of calling attention to the narrator is important beyond that context.
The Hero’s Journey is the true monomyth, something to which all stories can be reduced. It doesn’t matter that the author, Joseph Campbell, was a raging misogynist whose framework flattened cultures and stories to fit a western lens [9, 10]. It was used in Star Wars, so clearly it’s a universal framework.
The metaverse will soon replace the real world and crypto is the future of currency! Never mind that the organizations pushing it are suspiciously pyramid shaped. Get on board or be left behind.
Generative AI is pushed as the next big thing. The harms it inflicts on creatives and the harmful stereotypes it perpetuates are just bugs in the system. Never mind that the evangelists for this technology speak over the concerns of marginalized people [5]. That’s a skill issue, you gotta keep up.
Computers will eventually, likely soon, advance so far as to replace humans altogether. The robot uprising is on the horizon [8].
Who perpetuates these stories? What do they have to gain?
Why is the only story for the future replications of unjust systems of power? Why must the hero always slay the monster?
Because so says the narrator. And so long as they are invisible, it is simple to assume that this is simply the way things are.
Chapter III: The End...?
This is the part where Slay the Princess starts feeling like a stretch, but I’ve already killed the horse so I might as well beat it until the end too.
Because what is the end result here?
According to the game… collapse. A recursive story whose biases narrow the scope of each iteration ultimately collapses in on itself. The princess becomes so sharp that she is nothing but blades to eviscerate you. The princess becomes so perfect a damsel that she is a caricature of the trope. The story whittles itself away to nothing. And then the cycle begins anew.
There’s no climactic final battle with the narrator. He created this box, set things in motion, but he is beyond the player’s reach to confront directly. The only way out is to become aware of the box itself, and the agenda of the narrator. It requires acknowledgement of the artificiality of the roles thrust upon you and the Princess, the false dichotomy of hero or villain.
Slay the Princess doesn’t actually provide an answer to what lies outside of the box, merely acknowledges it as a limit that can be overcome.
With regards to the less fanciful narratives that comprise our day-to-day lives, it’s difficult to see the boxes and dichotomies we’ve been forced into, let alone what might be beyond them. But if the limit placed is that there are no stories that can exist outside of capitalism, outside of colonialism, outside of rigid hierarchies and oppressive structures, then that limit can be broken [12].
Denouement: Doomed by the Narrative
Video games are an interesting artistic medium, due to their inherent interactivity. The commonly accepted mechanics of the medium, such as flavor text that provides in-game information and commentary, are an excellent example of an invisible narrator. Branching dialogue trees and multiple endings can help obscure this further, giving the player a sense of genuine agency… which provides an interesting opportunity to drag an invisible narrator into the light.
There are a number of games that have explored the power differential between the narrator and the player (The Stanley Parable, Little Misfortune, Undertale, Buddy.io, OneShot, etc…)
However, Slay the Princess works well here because it not only emphasizes the artificial limitations that the narrator sets on a story, but the way that these stories recursively loop in on themselves, reinforcing the fears and biases of previous iterations.
Critical data theory probably had nothing to do with the game’s development (Abby Howard if you're reading this, lmk). However, it works as a surprisingly cohesive framework for illustrating the ways that we can become ensnared by a narrative, and the importance of knowing who, exactly, is narrating the story. Although it is difficult or impossible to conceptualize what might exist beyond the artificial limits placed by even a well-intentioned narrator, calling attention to them and the box they’ve constructed is the first step in breaking out of this cycle.
“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Epilogue
If you've read this far, thank you for your time! This was an adaptation of my final presentation for a Critical Data Studies course. Truthfully, this course posed quite a challenge--I found the readings of philosophers such as Kant, Adorno, Foucault, etc... difficult to parse. More contemporary scholars were significantly more accessible. My only hope is that I haven't gravely misinterpreted the scholars and researchers whose work inspired this piece.
I honestly feel like this might have worked best as a video essay, but I don't know how to do those, and don't have the time to learn or the money to outsource.
Slay the Princess is available for purchase now on Steam.
Screencaps from ManBadassHero Let's Plays: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]
Post Dividers by @cafekitsune
Citations:
Rosenberg, D. (2018). Data as word. Historical Studies in the Natural Sciences, 48(5), 557-567.
Amaro, Ramon. (2019). As If. e-flux Architecture. Becoming Digital. https://www.e-flux.com/architecture/becoming-digital/248073/as-if/
What Ethical AI Really Means by PhilosophyTube
Keyes, O. (2018). The misgendering machines: Trans/HCI implications of automatic gender recognition. Proceedings of the ACM on human-computer interaction, 2(CSCW), 1-22.
Allred, A.M., Aragon, C. (2023). Art in the Machine: Value Misalignment and AI “Art”. In: Luo, Y. (eds) Cooperative Design, Visualization, and Engineering. CDVE 2023. Lecture Notes in Computer Science, vol 14166. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-43815-8_4
Amaro, R. (2019). Artificial Intelligence: warped, colorful forms and their unclear geometries.
Parisisi, L., Ferreira da Silva, D. Black Feminist Tools, Critique, and Techno-poethics. e-flux. Issue #123. https://www.e-flux.com/journal/123/436929/black-feminist-tools-critique-and-techno-poethics/
AI - Our Shiny New Robot King | Sophie from Mars by Sophie From Mars
Joseph Campbell and the Myth of the Monomyth | Part 1 by Maggie Mae Fish
Joseph Campbell and the N@zis | Part 2 by Maggie Mae Fish
How Barbie Cis-ified the Matrix by Jessie Gender
#slay the princess#stp spoilers#stp#stp princess#abby howard#black tabby games#academics#critical data studies#computer science#technology#hci#my academics#my writing#long post
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Lucy and Jonathan
“We met some time ago a man that would just do for you, if you were not already engaged to Jonathan.”
I’ll admit, while it probably wasn’t anything more than an airy throw-in without any real barbs behind it, the inflection on Lucy’s comment followed by the idle advertisement of upcoming character, Dr. John ‘Jack’ Seward, as a higher-up-the-ladder ‘what-if’ prospect, still kind of stung to hear. I know it’ll get sanded back in later chapters because—minor spoilers—context clues will show that Mina, Lucy, and Jonathan have known/been friendly with each other since they were kids, and comments from future letters will show a more mutual regard. So it makes me wonder what the reason for the implied derision was.*
*(Beyond her possibly trying to push Jack in a way that says ‘Nope, No, I Choose Not to See the Crush, No Thank You, Hot Potato.’)
My guess? It’s a bit.
Specifically, a holdover from hers, Mina’s, and Jonathan’s earlier days when all of them had grown into adolescence, social mores started getting hammered in in earnest, and Mina and Jonathan were just starting on their official courtship.
Suddenly, they’re no longer a trio of kids enjoying each other’s company. Now it’s two young ladies—one rich, one poor—and a charming young man—also from a lower class. Considering the period, it would be only too easy for whispers to start flying behind fans and cigars that the young Mr. Harker might consider leveling up his prospects, or that the lovely Miss Westenra, a veritable Victorian Helen of Troy, might idly snatch her low-born friend’s man out from under her nose on a whim. And aren’t they such a pretty picture? Quoting their Shakespeare at each other, so intriguingly close compared to most men and their ladies’ friends…unless there are certain extra friendly circumstances involved, ha ha.
A ribald comment too many from coworkers at Hawkins’ firm and a backhanded compliment or three at the latest spring ball probably shocked Jonathan and Lucy respectively into action. Bonus points if one of the inciting remarks came from some tittering debutante, “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. You two are so alike! Such sweet bonny things, parroting the Bard at each other, prattling merrily about the latest little outing without stopping for breath. Really, Lucy, he would just do for you.”**
**(Some have wondered if Lucy was nudging Jack toward Mina due to certain similar traits they shared. Some morose aspects, intensely focused, interests in modern technology. You’ll see when you meet him. Either way, it’s another parallel to ponder here.)
Cue Mina having to endure her loved ones defending her honor from being dubbed a victim of romantic betrayal in the most vaudeville manner possible. Though she should expect no less from Theatre Nerds 1 and 2.
When they go out, Mina is permanently sandwiched between them as if they’re ducking behind a red-faced shield. Lucy brandishes a parasol to ensure they’re at least the shaft’s length apart; sometimes she’ll even open it to make sure they’re not swayed by looking upon each other, may Heaven forbid such scandalous temptation! Jonathan sits on the bench with them with his hat pulled down over his eyes for safety’s sake. At least a quarter of an hour at the start of each outing is dedicated to a back-and-forth of:
Lucy, nose up so high she’s looking more at the ceiling than him: Mr. Harker.
Jonathan, checking his pocket watch to see how long he must endure this most arduous company: Miss Westenra.
Mina, head in her hands: It’s been months.
Lucy, scoffing: Months of torment in his presence.
Jonathan, scoffing harder: Agony in hers.
Lucy, on a fainting couch: However can you stand him, Mina?
Mina, about to pull her hair out of its pins: You helped him pick out the ring, Lucy.
Jonathan, picture of woe: Tormentedly, of course.
Lucy, nodding: Agonizingly.
In short, Jonathan 🤝 Lucy:
#they think they're so funny#and they are#lucy westenra#re: dracula#dracula daily#dracula#jonathan harker#mina murray#mina harker
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Chapter 108-2 thoughts
This was the most "IT'S SO OVER" "WE'RE SO BACK" chapter ever. Spoilers under the cut.
I am a leetol bit disappointed that Bishamon didn't really get to do anything this arc. She was unconscious for a majority of it, then woke up, went looking for Kazuma, and found him without like, needing to shake some people up. It is sweet how they finally got to have a proper conversation though. Their lack of communication has been a frustrating blind spot for both of them this entire story, so I'm glad they were able to come to peace with it.
I do wonder if Kazuma told her about being named by Yato, or if he dodged that fact, but I'm going to assume since we didn't get a live Bishamon reaction that he did tell her and she understood his reasoning.
"You are the only one who can save yourself" is kind of a strange statement out of context since this whole manga has been about overcoming trials with the help of the people who love you. But in context, Bishamon was saying that praying to a higher power is meaningless and individuals are the only ones capable of miracles. Kind of an atheistic message from a manga where a majority of the characters are Literal deities, but as an allegory for the world, I kinda dig it. Don't believe in miracles, make them happen with your own two hands and the people who love you.
Okay now I need to talk about Yukine this chapter. I Need To. His love for Hiyori and Yato had me pounding my fist on the ground. HE HELD HIYORI'S HAND. HE CLUNG TO YATO WHEN HE STARTED DISAPPEARING. HE DOESN'T WANT HIS DAD TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ADACHITOKA I AM JUST A GUY PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY FRAGILE HEART.
FATHER IS FINALLY DEAD SEND OUT THE CRABS. I'm glad his death was quiet and unceremonious, and not even Mizuchi was tempted by him.
It seems like the real Fujisaki was trying to say Father's name but couldn't quite recall it, so I'm thinking we'll get to hear it from Ebisu's mouth next chapter. Then again, we didn't get to hear Nana's real name either, so it may just stay as "ta" forever. Which is funny to think about as in like, "ta" for "bye." Bye bitch!
The pages of the trio + Nora all together and begging Hiyori to come back singlehandedly caused the most emotional damage. I know everyone else is freaking out about the Yatori CPR/kiss but I am just wishing the circumstances were more ideal for it. I will say it is pretty Kyoru of them to kiss while she's unconscious, though.
But, eh, her being alive was way more of a concern to me, so that was the reason I went ahead and read the official version early. I let out the BIGGEST sigh of relief when she woke up in the hospital.
Before I reflect more though, I wanted to say also I was pretty confused by Amaterasu's statement in the official translation, though fast-moon's helped clear it up. Hiyori didn't become a full shinki because she was named in the illusory dimension, and she was saved by the act of killing Father?
"You were carrying the ancient koto no ha with you as well" is the "you" referring to Father or Yato? Did Yato name Hiyori with the brush, or was she talking about Father having both on him?
Okay, so, reflections. Am I happy they temporary killed Hiyori? Still no. I would have preferred they damage her cord instead rather than way back when, when the wolves attacked her. Am I happy they brought her back? Obviously. It would be a bad ending if they left off on that, and I'm curious to see if/how much she'll remember in the final chapter.
Do I think Yato is dead? I sure hope not! This is also a death that would negate a whole lot of character development, and while I like the narrative parallel of her dying to save him so he dies to save her (esp considering how selfish he was at the start of the manga), I don't want Yukine to be left alone or with a baby Yato at the end of everything. I'm scared, because I think it's not off the table.
Am I happy with the ending? Remains to be seen, but while I have quibbles and hangups, it's not that much. It's not of the story-ruining variety for me, anymore. I kind of would have preferred a softer ending to the manga, for example. This entire story has had very high stakes for everyone involved, so they didn't need to up the ante with these constant main character death scares, imo. We were already quite deep in the shit. I also wish Hiyori had had more to do in the final arc before she saved the day by...dying.
But to say I didn't enjoy the journey of this arc would be a lie. It's been a long few years...almost 10 since I watched the anime, almost 9 since I read the manga, and mainly it'll be weird to say goodbye to this era of my life, and not have the monthly stress of chapters hanging over my head.
I was hoping Adachitoka would announce a new series, but it hasn't happened yet, and I'm not sure it will because they've been unable to commit to full chapters for a while now. Even before the hiatus in 2017, the chapters dropped from 45 pages to 40, and then we've been halfsies since 2018. Whatever caused Adachitoka to go on hiatus, it's been enough of an issue that they can't draw 45 pages on a monthly schedule anymore (and honestly, I don't blame them, as we all know mangaka schedules are brutal). Also, taking Alive into account, they've been drawing manga for 20 years. This might be their final story, or they might write another with an assistant. Either way, if they do something else, regardless of their role I'll definitely be checking it out!
So now that Hiyori has been undoomed from the narrative the wedding reread is back on. I'll be starting it soon here, all tagged with #Noragami reread and hopefully some of you will join me as well! Feel free to send me your thoughts on the chapter/the ending.
#Noragami#Noragami spoilers#Noragami manga#live update#I am still. gathering the pieces of me that this chapter left on the floor
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[Doppelganger] progress update (2)
Folks, I'm in INKING HELL 😭 I hate this step of drawing comics the most 😩
These pages are the script for chapter 1.2, 2, 3 and 4 (as a handful of my mutuals have seen them already 🤫)
Sorry for the blurry effect, but without it, if you squint, you can still somewhat understand what's happening in the drawing, thus spoiler.
This year, I think I will pace it out and stop at chapter 3, with other comics act as buffering inbetween, because there IS manga-spoiler in chapter 4. They are minor but important scenes, which will feel more impactful with full context from mission 62. I'm quite sure we'll know when the anime will come back later this year anyways. So, chapter 4 can wait.
Sadly, I don't think I can fit any of the new canon characters in this story anymore. Storyline has already been planned out until the end.
At this rate, I estimate it will take about 3 years to complete this story. Even if I somehow lost interest in the middle of drawing it, I would post the rest of my draft for you all to read as an closure.
Well, to be honest, the worst-case scenario is none of you would care enough to maintain interest that long.
So, please be patient with me, alright? Thank you 🙇
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🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨
Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"
Episode 7 "Stress Tested"
Timestamp: 00:48:29
Video Length: 5min.
Kristen talks to Yolanda about her Academics, Cassandra, and the Mysterious Voice she heard (‣Pt. 1 | Pt. 2)
Ally: "I think especially since Copperlilly made it really public that I don't have a god, I might do... I don't know which this would count for, like, goddess work. So, not really like Cleric."
Brennan: "You're not focusing on your classes, but actually doing the proselytizing."
Ally: "Like, can I try to check in with Cassandra? Can I say her name and see if she's responsive anywhere?"
Brennan: "Yeah, I think- Actually as this chapter is starting, 'cause you can't cast spells, it's unclear if you would even be able to complete your Cleric classes. I think you grab some office hours with Yolanda, the Cleric teacher."
Ally: "Oh cool."
Brennan: "Yolanda looks at you and says,"
Yolanda: "Ms. Applebees, it's come to my attention that you may have experienced the second deicide of your tenure."
Kristen: *holds up 3 fingers*
Yolanda: "Third?"
Kristen: "There are a couple iterations on the Yes."
Yolanda: "Oh, right. Yes, question mark. There was an addendum to the- yeah-"
Kristen: "I saw it dead. It slid out of a hole."
The awesome caption team: (Lou chuckling)
Yolanda: "Kristen, um-"
Kristen: "Does that mean anything to you?"
Yolanda: "Well, it's not good. It slid out of a hole? How? Based on what? What was the context?"
Kristen: *tells Yolanda the whole story*
Brennan: "She becomes very interested in the voice that spoke to you. She's like,"
Yolanda: "Did you recognize the voice that was speaking to you? Was it, like, mocking you or something like that?"
Kristen: "Like, 'This is the god you deserve.'"
Yolanda: "The god you deserve. That's very interesting."
Kristen: "Why is that interesting?"
Yolanda: "Well there's something that had a personal, something that had a connection to you that was strong enough or powerful enough that it wanted mock you."
Kristen: "Do you think it was Cassandra? I think maybe she was really angry with the way that I treated her."
Yolanda: "Could well be. Kristen, if I'm going to make allowances for you to continue on in your Cleric classes without the ability to actually, meaningfully cast spells, where do you feel, if anything, a connection to the divine right now? Do you feel any connection to Cassandra still?"
Kristen: "Yeah, I think that was the ideal... I think embracing mystery and unknown is still... I mean the moon stuff is also pretty interesting, but I do think Cassandra made more sense to me."
Ally: Can I- Okay, you mentioned something. So I think Lydia Barkrock mentioned this or something. There was some sort of like god of the... What was her Cleric studying? Yeah, sorry, I made a note."
Emily: "I think they're asking what the Cleric in that party, what god the Cleric in that party."
Brennan: "Oh!"
Ally: "It was something like mystery and darkness. It was something really interesting."
Brennan: "Oh, Osmir. A god of magic. Osmir."
Ally: "Yes, Yes! Magic and secrets."
Brennan: "Magic and secrets."
Ally: "Yeah. Is there a way for me to do like a History check on that? Like in our library or with the teacher or...?"
Brennan: "Yeah. Yolanda looks at you and says,"
Yolanda: "I think the academic path that probably makes the most sense to save you from the academic probation you are in right now would be one of the two following. And honestly, perhaps a combination of both. Because you can't participate in practical classes, I'm gonna need a lot of extra theological work from you, the academic side of being a Cleric; religious treatises, research, all of that. If you wanna look up Osmir, if you wanna see anything about that, that you can, I think that's a very wise and prudent idea. And you should focus on that this semester. On a practical level, if you haven't regained your spells by the end of the fall semester, I'm gonna have to fail you no matter how many essays you turn in. So what I would say is if Cassandra is truly gone, something quite strange has happened. Because as long as you still believe in her, she should not be fully gone. Is there any part of her sort of remaining?"
Kristen: "Is there a way that you can-"
Brennan: "You remember those shards of twilight energy."
Ally: "Oh, yeah, yeah! I show her."
Brennan: "She[Yolanda] casts a Divination spell on them."
Yolanda: "Theological essays. I'm gonna ask for them biweekly, every two weeks."
Kristen: "Okay."
Yolanda: "And I think you need to perform a miracle."
Kristen: "Hm?"
Yolanda: "I think you need to perform a miracle. Clerics at their best represent an aspect of the divine truth and their work is to manifest that truth in the day-to-day lives of people who can benefit from the magic imparted by the gods. What is a miracle that doubt can make? What is a phenomenon that mystery can work upon the world? Cassandra's not here to work through you. So in all likelihood she needs you to work on her behalf."
#dimension 20#dimension20#blog#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#stress tested#fantasy high stress tested#fantasy high junior year episode 7#fhjy ep 7#fantasy high scene#fantasy high junior year scene#dimension20 scene#queue#yolanda badgood#brennan lee mulligan#kristen#kristen applebees#ally beardsley#cassandra
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! spoilers for chapter 167 !
+ my feelings cuz this was a ROLLER COASTER of a chapter 😭
first of all, just to provide context, i am obsessed with 002 (he's My Man) i love him as much as one possibly can for a 2d character. and ever since 003 made an appearance in the previous chapter i have spent a whole week praying that she isn't his love interest. and i kid u not 3 panels in after smacking 004 (my 2nd fav character. who is she to do that.) they KISS. when i tell u i physically put my phone down and screamed. 😭
LIKE. WHAT DID THEY HAVE BETWEEN THEM BEFORE?
my reaction ^^
after 5 minutes i was finally able to pick up my phone again and continued reading and woah. they start questioning her! what a dream come true bcuz she is giving me such icky vibes (i promise it's not cuz she k!ssed 002) + she's actually sus!!!! like we cheered!!!!
then 002 starts being mean to her + the rest of the numbers try to defend her (even 004; i was pretty shocked) really really curious about the backstory & her role back in the camp
then finally they revealed that she was the one who led the other numbers when 001 was escaping + that she was the one who killed the other numbers (after accusing 001 of doing it, without knowing that the numbers have met up & built a trust between them already - ha! take that 003!)
wld like to reiterate that i bear some ill-feelings towards 003 (not cuz she kissed 002!) so some comments Might be biased
i've hit the limit for pictures but the last part has 002 & 003 in a shoot-off but then 003 pulls up with a whole army 😭 praying for the numbers to be safe & that 003 's backstory is revealed in coming chapters!!
💭some qns i have wld be 1) why was 003 the one to lead the numbers against 001 and not 002? since 001 was the 'leader' as he was, well, 001, shouldn't 002 be the one to lead the numbers after 001?
2) what is 003 trying to achieve???? world domination ?????
ending the post here cuz i'm tired but WOAH this chapter was so good. and exhausting
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«Rita of Gokkan» Ch.19
eng translation by me
ch: [tag] [2-3] [4-6] [7-9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18]
timeline: ep5 (Toufu ch1)
Rita and Kaguragi test each other on what the other knows.
contains TV SPOILERS past ep5, assumed reader is up-to-date at ep43
*If you are a newcomer and wanted to read the manga along with its corresponding episode, you will only get context for what's hinted in this chapter much later in the show.
t/n:
p4: This bugnarok is pronounced "by-EH-jim" not "bae-jim" ... based on a fly (ha-EH)
Kaguragi addresses everyone as "-dono" but sometimes Rita as "Sovereign Rita". I'm putting Rita-sama and Rita-dono both as "Justice Rita". Normally I'd be inclined to keep the honorifics but since I already used the English form before I should stick to that and subs group conventions. ("-tono/-dono" is an antiqudated suffix that is only used in official documents nowadays. In history, it meant respect for those above you but nowadays it's used by the higher-rank to address those lower politely. Genderless, lower than '-sama'.)
Something about Rita's speech pattern is they tend to use a lot of kanji, as part of their solemn personality and regular legal jargon. I lack the context to evaluate how advanced Rita's kanji are to the average Japanese but the general sense of Rita having a more archaic/complex vocabulary is evident.
holding my urge not to put a ! in every Kagu speech bubble
p14: Kagu's reation to hearing Rita saw Suzume's figure: ……はて？ -> long pause, [lit. 1. well; let me see; now (used before sentences expressing a doubt) 2. dear me/good gracious]
ch19:
t/n part 2:
p9: わざわざお出まし恐縮（きょうしゅく）です [lit. my apologies for making you come all this way.] -> What an honour to have your persence!
Here it is! the east/west cultural difference! Keigo is a big challenge for me as a learner already, let alone a translator. There's no direct dictionary substitution and it really depends on your intuition with usage in either langugaes. The keigo here is humble-type, while to make it sound natural in English, instead of reflecting your own incompetence, you are flattering the other party. In the next line, Kaguragi says because Rita came unannounced, they were inadequate in failing to preapre a welcoming committee. I think the scarcasm is there in English too, but I just feel it's more insulting to imply Rita is not exactly welcome while initiatively taking the "weaker" side (Kaguragi's gaslighting, what's new).
p13: learner's note: the royal kitchen is called 厨房(chuubou) while the word for kitchen I knew was 台所(daidokoro). Research shows 厨房 is a professional kitchen like in a restaurant and 台所 is the one at home. Katakana Kitchen is also in the vocabulary to mean a modern, western-style industrical kitchen. Chinese has lost the distinctioin and uses 廚房 (note!: an extra dot above 厨) for both home or workplace.
p16: I interpret Rita's first concern is in maintaining equality between the kingdoms. A duo alliance between ❤🖤 is only detrimental to a five-kingdom one they are working towards: small circle, and increased hostility from 💛💙 if they believe ❤🖤💜 is their small clique. Yet it is interesting Rita raised the question out of personal curiosity. Remember in the beginning there was this, feeling, ❤🖤💜 are seniors and they've known each other for longer? Now we know Kaguragi is actually Rita's junior in terms of order of sucession. Now they could've what he was like prior to taking the throne. Notice how they never describe him as a liar. Maybe Rita does find it odd a man of his capability feels the need to bootlick Racules.
Onomatopoeia words this week:
スッ(Suu) an action done suddenly without sound
ボコボコ(boko boko) 1. sound of hitting a hollow object 2. uneven (surface) 3. to cause damage with full force
バキバキ (baki baki) hard objects shattering/breaking/cracking ポカ(poka) 1. repeated hit with something heavy i.e. fist/bat 2. feeling of warmth
よろよろ (yoro yoro) (adv., not a sound) staggering
もがく (moga ku) (v.) struggle/wiggle impatient -> here means eating frantically (because food is too god)
ずいっ (zui) (adv.) straightforwardly, readily, without hesitation
alternate translations:
p9: No careless msitakes… -> Better keep my guard up… / Better stay alert…
p11: No way any of that is true. -> What a load of crap. (intuition lol)
Script:
p1
(18lp)
p2
「バサッ バサッ」
「ガクン」
すみません～…
バエジーム
お騒がせしております～
「ゴゴゴ…」
くそ… バグナラクめ…
どこにでも湧（わ）いて来る…
p4
うるさくてすみません～ そして…
「ブ ブゥン」
死んでいただけると助かります～
「ス…」
「タッ」
p5
「ガッ」
「ボコ ボコ ボコ」
待ち伏（ふ）せていたのか
p6
「ドドド」
「ガガガ」く…つ
「バキ ゴ ポカ」
p7
ギヤ
「ズンッ」
トウフ国の黒子軍団…！
今だ！
p8
撃（う）たせていただきます
「パ パ」
「タ ドッ タ ボッ ボ」
「タッ」
ギャ
「よろ よろ」「ブブブ」
てっ… 撤退（てったい）です～！
p9
いやいや… 素晴らし腕前
さすがリタ国王
わざわざお出まし恐縮（きょうしゅく）です
前もって言っていただければ迎えの用意いたしましたのに
カグラギ‧ディボウスキ…
こいつはラクレスと通しているようだが…
油断（ゆだん）は禁物（きんもつ）だ…
p10
p11
して ギラという男
強盗団（ごうとうだん）の親玉（おやだま）という噂がありまして
毒虫（どくむし）食にしている化け物なんていう話も
もういい
そんなわけないだろ
もしやそのご様子まさかギラの正体（しょうたい）をご存じで…！
調査（ちょうさ）中だ
たとえ王でも外部の者に話すわけないだろう
p12
さすがは絶対中立の王 素晴らしい！
察しますに最高厳罰（げんばつ）処分（しょぶん）ですね
…ただ一つ言えるのは……
おお！？言えるのは！？
—いや
調査の結果は法廷（ほうてい）で明らかにする
危ない…どうもこいつの前でもしゃべりすぎる…
ラクレスに感づかれては厄介（やっかい）だ
うまい… 「もが」
はっはっは そうでしょう！
このトウフには世界中のあらゆる食が揃っております
p13
ただ…
聞いたことない食事は出ませんが
…
そういえば リタ殿
以前（いぜん）コーカサス城の厨房（ちゅうぼう）で
調べごとをされていた…とか
調べもの見つかりましたか？
個人的な調査だ 結果を話すつもりはない
そういえば あの時…
p14
お前とよく似た着物を見たが
！
……はて？
ラクレス殿にご挨拶にうかがったときでしょうか？
p15
いや… もっと小柄（こがら）な…
それはリタ殿の見間違いで��ょう
なにか 隠しているな…
お前はなぜラクレスに付き従う（つきしたがう）
ラクレス殿は素晴らしい志(こころざし)をお持ちの方
であれば協力するのは当然です
それにしてはまるで主従(しゅうじゅう)のようだ
p16
国同士は対等（たいとう）な関係のはず…
それに前王イロキの悪政（あくせい）から解放したのはお前の独力（どくりょく）だ
それは…
リタ国王！
これは仕方がないのです…！
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Hey hello I just finished binging dramaturgy in like. A day. 2 days? I don't really know tbh
I downloaded it on my kindle the moment the epilogue was released and I must say. Brain explosion, insanity, screaming crying throwing up
The plot twists genuinely made me audibly scream a little bit, I've never encountered twists in a fic that's genuinely caught me off guard. And it happened like 3 times in the space of one chapter???
All the characters feel so real. I can hear their voices and their flaws are so believable. You've fully and successfully recruited me into being a soup group fan. We are big fans of pearl here at trader scars.
It is 1am and I am experiencing so many emotions, I've never keyboard spammed in a friend's dms with such genuine feeling. Here is a tidbit
(I don't know if there's a way to spoiler these, but if anyones reading this and hasn't read dramaturgy- BIG WARNING SPOILER)
This is going straight into my top ten fav fanfics ever. I even somehow did fanart for this before reading it,,,, funnily enough. Here ya go !!
I think it's getting too close to 1:30am now. I planned to be asleep 3 hours ago but. Oh well. Uhh. Very good fic. thank you kindly for sharing with us 👍👍👍✨️
WAUGHHH HOLY SHIT I LOVE THE ART THIS IS AMAZING!!!? 💥💥 even without context you captured the ominous energy of this scene so well … i can’t stress enough how much joy this has brought me even just seeing y’all react to it. absolutely amazing. infinite dopamine straight to my brain
thank you so much for this and very sorry for the delayed response, i just hope you know how much i truly appreciate this bc mentally i am running in circles
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Hi! Big fan of your work here. Love the layered characters who make bad decisions. Can I get the link for the Discord group? Plus, I was wondering if you could give us two spoilers for what’s to come (yes, I’m greedy). 1. Will Lily have an absolute horrible summer with no parents, staying with Petunia, dealing with a racist society and nursing a broken heart from unrequited love? I just want to prepare myself. 2. Will the context of Lily’s first time with Graham ever come up when she’s finally with James? I am guessing he’ll have a bad time dealing with the motives behind her decisions at the time. Poor James. Poor Lily.
Hi! Thank you! I believe someone has already sent you the link for the discord but let me know if that’s not the case.
I can’t really answer either of these without massive spoilers but I will just say that I for one am looking forward to the TLE3 summer chapters 🙃
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10 (Mostly) Spoiler-Free Reasons to Watch Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon 2003 Live Action
A countdown to the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!
There are many things worth unpacking and appreciating in the live-action series, as long as one can overlook the tackiness of the action scenes and repeated use of questionable CGI sequences. (The real-time CGI isn't bad though, and the action scenes get better as the series runs!) Context to remember: the live-action is a low-budget Tokusatsu series, and it was the debut work of most of the cast in the acting industry! As we approach the show's 20th anniversary, I hope to spread some love and get more people exposed to watching the series!
Reason 1: Ongoing character & dynamic development for EVERYONE!
It is without question that Tsukino Usagi deserves all the love fans of the overall Sailor Moon franchise have for her! However, for those whose favourite character may not necessarily be the titular character, many may find there's just not much space in most iterations of Sailor Moon for their favourite character to shine with the depth of their character well explored, and most character development does not contribute long-lastingly to the plot of the story. It can almost feel like Usagi/Moon seems to often hog all the attention (besides side story chapters in the manga)!
The live-action series solved that issue beautifully, by focusing only on the Dark Kingdom arc in a 49-episode series, the screenwriter Kobayashi Yasuko with Takeuichi Naoko-sensei's input, did a stunning job of building a multi-faceted, linear storyline filled with colourful character development for each Senshi AND Shitennou characters. The Shitennou each have their own defined personality, depths and motivation that are all different from each other's.
Each main heroine character and villain character has their own thematic focus to their story, and they all actually converge and contribute to the storytelling of the series!
The most amazing thing? It dares to render Usagi/Moon into the ensemble cast on episodes when it doesn't make sense for Usagi to hog the screen time. Sometimes, our beloved princess is simply the comic relief in an episode! That's not to say that Usagi's character is disrespected, but Usagi is shown to be as flaw-filled as any other character in the series, and sometimes she herself needs to do some growing up and reflection, so she isn't always the sensible choice to be catalyst for her fellow Senshi' needed growth.
Usagi is undoubtedly loved and cherished and the definite lynchpin of the team, but each Senshi is allowed to have their own dynamics with each other, and let their personality shine... or clash with each other's.
Frankly, I've always been amazed at how much said dynamics were explored between each pair of Senshi. The only one I felt was underdeveloped was Ami and Minako. :(
Here is my rough table of how the character focus is spread across the series. (Many episodes actually have an A plot, B plot and C plot, but I'm not expert enough to parse them all down. This is by memory. lol)
You can watch the subbed versions of the series at:
Miss Dream Fansubs
Sea of Serenity Fansubs
The series is also on other online streaming sites, but be cautious to only visit them with good adware and firewall installed.
10 days till the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!
Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
#pretty guardian sailor moon#bishoujo senshi sailor moon#pgsm#bssm#sailor moon live action#pgsm appreciation#reasons to watch pgsm#pgsm 20th anniversary countdown
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Idolistic - titles and symbolism
Thanks for those who encouraged me! So here it is, idolistic chapter titles! Not all of them are symbolic, and some are obvious lol. But a few have made my brain light up in nerdery because I’m a little into connecting/crafting simple phrases into symbolism. Also puns (sorry). Idk if that even makes sense but, here we go!
Be aware idolistic spoilers for up to the latest chapter, chapter thirteen. Also warning for some of the quoted scenes, as they have canon typical violence.
Idolistic
So, actually - I’ll start off with the fic title. We all know it’s a play on words/pun I figure. It’s a play on idealistic/and idol, and idolistic is the worship of idols, in a religious context. For me the title feels like it’s more Chay’s POV, which is interesting as idolistic is my Kim epic lol.
But it’s that journey from having an idealistic view of your idol slowly turn into something real. Chay’s literal wall of idolatry (wik shrine my beloved) turning into Chay’s real interactions with Kim. So for Chay, it’s like Kim turning into a real boy, and all the unexpected scary things of Kim’s real life running into that idealistic view of an idol.
On the other side of it from Kim’s pov, the symbolism in idolistic is what he’s seeking from the world. He wants to escape into a singing career – an idol career. And he’s idealistic about all the things this world could give him, safety and normalcy. A haven away from his family’s world.
Also - being idealistic about something in my view doesn't mean what you believe is false, or you're being naive, it's just your hopes and dreams and what you want out of something.
Chapter 1. The mortifying ordeal of being known
Uhhh alright this one isn’t all that deep. It’s just the meme. But it’s chosen for that spike of intense suspicion / fascination Kim gets when he stumbles across Chay’s stan account, and all the ways Chay shows he knows Kim without them ever having met. Like Kim is so into being known. What a little freak (affectionate)
Chapter 2. Dirty pool
This is a fun one! It’s a phrase meaning ‘underhanded or unsportsmanlike conduct.’ It's Chay cornering his idol and putting kittens on his lap until he’s too burdened down by all the tiny little creatures he’s got to look after to move. And then Chay smiling sunnily and going; hey, how do you know which school I went to?
And for anyone who’s like, Idolistic Chay is more suspicious than the show, one of the first questions Chay asked in the tutoring scene in kp was how did you know I have a brother. Kid knows!! But he’s like this is my beautiful babygirl idol? I am hanging out with him right now and if he’s a little weird? Okay that’s cool I don't mind, I like all sides of him :)
Okay also thanks jeff for now giving us literal photos of the scene
Chapter 3. Three times in the back, with a serving knife
Okay, no this is just cluedo. Murder mystery Kim. Kim so into being the hot nightclub singer who gets to stab people on screen. Nothing deeper than that.
But thanks Jeff for also like giving me a visual ref after I posted that chapter. Helpful.
Chapter 4. The reel in
The reel in is where I start playing with lines. This chapter title comes from a line in the previous chapter, here’s the whole paragraph:
The man was a loose end, his father didn’t have the right strings to pull at the right time. Kim had just had an interview, the T-pop segment, his face broadcasted to thousands of new viewers. The call the next day, the reel in. Kim can still feel the echoes of it, that night. The crack that reverberated through him, his hands. The pull on his muscles.
Chapter four is where Kim gets drawn back in on an errand. It’s the first time we see it on screen in Idolistic, rather than as a memory. This is the reel in, him being dragged back. It’s also playing double duty, the reel in, after the job is done, he’s almost magnetized and makes his way on autopilot to Chay’s house.
So it’s both the worst part of his life, being drawn back into the violence of his family and father, but then it’s also the other side of it – one of the best parts of it, being drawn into someone else’s sphere, someone who he’s attracted to and wants to be around.
Chapter 5. Cupid's bow
Another link! So, this is the love chapter for me. The title links back to chapter three:
Chay gently traces over the shape of Kim’s lips, the tips of his fingers trailing across the bottom lip, then the top, gently pressing against the cupid’s bow.
And it’s playing on different notes in the chapter, but all the same theme. Cupid's bow – Kim is falling for Chay. It’s him reciprocating Chay’s interest, the return of affection, falling into the beginnings of love. It's Kim being shot with an arrow from cupid's bow. But its not just the metaphorical, it's also a physical real thing - the cupid's bow on the lips. So it becomes a real world expression of how Kim returns that affection. He doesn’t know how to approach it, so he echos Chay’s affection back to him, caressing him in return:
Chay’s eyes are dark and intent on his, his face flushed from kissing. Kim reaches up, tracing the evidence on Chay’s lips, an echo of Chay’s touch from last week– bottom to top lip, a press against the cupid’s bow, then lets his hand fall away.
Idk, it's just profoundly Idolistic Kim to me. He doesn’t know exactly how to express things, but he’s intently paid attention to how affection has been expressed and acted upon onto him.
Chapter 6. Debts cleared
This one I feel isn’t that deep. It does hit more than one beat I feel, but it’s not complex. Debts cleared is the act of Porsche giving up his brother and his way of life to leave and clear their debts, so Chay can live free of that burden.
But it’s also Kim, learning that Porsche is involved with his family, and not understanding how/or why that’s happened.
That bit of it comes from this paragraph:
Porsche’s entry is there. The amount owed is large, but Kim stares. There is a small notation next to it. It means, debt cleared. Kim flicks his eye over to the corner of the page, quickly checking. If a kill order was given there’s usually another mark, just a small circle to indicate.
While it literally means you are clear of debt, to Kim it’s like, my family does not just wipe the board clean of debts. That's not how this world works, so this is suspicious, and shows something else is going on here.
Chapter 7. The soft launch
Okay this one is silly and simple. It’s just a soft launch, which in social media world is posting an informal picture of your partner, without a formal announcement. It’s like hey what up I’ve been hanging out with this hottie
Anyway forever proud of Chay and his game and the way that boy must have just shocked his fellow stan following by posting this pic of Wik. Like boy get it
Chapter 8. Choose your fighter
OH THE RED HERRING the side accounts. So, when I wrote the first few chapters the side accounts and that aspect of the story was meant to be a little bit more of a core theme, but I just went in a different direction. I like the direction it went lol, but it really means Kim’s side account and the plot of that got scrapped.
What does that have to do with the chapter titles? This is the chapter both Kim and Chay choose their fighters for their upcoming battles. In Chay’s world at that time, his biggest concerns are his brother (who’s ‘away’) his suddenly complicated but amazing dating life, and then – the things that link back up to that, say, a certain side account who is releasing personal information on his new beau.
So, Chay who has freshly met Kim’s team and manager is like, hey I have resources now, and chooses his fighter – P’Mod, for his upcoming sting operation to oust the account leaking sensitive Wik information.
It's really only shown briefly but here's where it went down:
By the time he gets back to the office it’s lunch time. P’Mod is at her desk, going through files, talking to someone on the phone. Her tone is serious, and Kim inches forward, eavesdropping.
She’s talking about the Riverfest leak. “That account has always been annoying.” She hums with agreement over the phone. “Yes, that’s true. But don’t worry too much, if the source really is that close it’ll be an easy job.”
She taps her lip, considering something. “Y’know, you’re becoming a very useful addition. But don’t stress too much kid, I’ve got it handled.”
For Kim, it's his battle with his father. This is the chapter he chooses to risk it and approach Vegas. He needs someone that his father wouldn’t suspect he’d work with, and that’s Vegas.
Chapter 9. Three for three
So, this is a baseball term lol, but I never learnt it from baseball. Baseball…isn’t really popular in my country. But it means three things were attempted and the person was successful all three times.
This is related to Kim being reeled back in, into a fairly violent and worrying errand. And its Kim’s instincts of no, I can do it. I’m fairly on the nose with it in the chapter lol:
He is good at it, he knows. He does like being good at things. And he’s always had a skill here.
There are nine men. A much better number than twenty. Survivable, if he's quick.
There’s three on watch, three out the back counting merchandise. Three in the main room, smoking and drinking. Nice and balanced, and he's ready to see if he can do it. If he can go three for three.
And as we follow, he counts down the men until we’re at the end, with his self-affirmation of three for three:
One left, running for the door. Kim sets chase, knees screaming at the speed. He leaps onto his back, teeth bared and breath heaving. He takes him down, rides him down to the ground with his arm around his neck and his knife in the man's side.
There. Done. Easy.
See? He can do it.
Chapter 10. Fools rush in
No fancy linking of previously written things for this one! This is our fools performance, our clown car full of Theerapanyakuls crashing into a wall lol. This is our chapter of secrets coming undone, and for me it really is Kinn and Porsche, crashing into Kim and Chay’s world. It’s the collision of secrets and brothers and relationships, both romantic and fraternal, and how that unearths everything.
It's also Chay getting to see how he may have rushed in, and thinking (oh poor baby) that he’s been made a fool of, after discovering everything that has been hidden from him.
Chapter 11. Outgunned
Another non complicated one. It’s Kim being physically outnumbered by the men who come to kidnap Kinn and Porsche, but also being outgunned/outnumbered by the situation. He’s reacting to things, he’s not in control of anything. This is the aftermath of all his secrets coming out with Chay, and then the lack of control and power he has to save his loved ones when danger comes knocking at their door.
12. Three things to bring to a deserted island
Okay also not complicated! It’s a reference to the side ficlet, of one of Wik’s early interviews. Which then links to Tankhun’s little trivia challenge for Chay, where he successfully wins Kim’s hand in marriage. Not that he knows it.
Chapter 13. Line of sight
Okay I’m fond of this one! Line of sight is a phrase I’ve used for Kim referring both to Chay and Vegas, and his father. The way I use it, line of sight is a reminder to pay attention, both to things you love (Chay) and the things that could blindside you, and threaten the things you love (Vegas, Korn).
From chapter three:
He doesn’t want to show up to Vegas’s little pre-planned meeting, but it’s better to keep Vegas in your line of sight.
Chapter seven, referring to how his life is directly shaded out by his father:
All the spaces he inhabits, his apartment, his studio, they get shaded out in the evening. It’s from the sun, low on the horizon, stretching out the shadows from his father’s building.
A distance would be better, sure. But Kim’s always believed it's better to keep your goals in your line of sight.
And within this chapter, I went all in on it lol:
But now the real world is creeping back in, and Kim doesn't feel ready to not have Chay in his line of sight just yet.
And
Tawan has a gun on his brother, and Kim’s out of his line of sight.
He moves quick. A blur behind Tawan, sliding in between Porsche and his target. It’s seconds maybe, his signature move. He launches himself up, gets him around the neck. A sharp thrust of movement, a snap, and it’s done, Tawan collapsing at his feet.
So, this chapter is the consequence of Kim not paying proper attention to his sightlines. He should have noticed more of Vegas and his plots –in fact Kim is aware of them in my opinion. Not the particulars, just that they're happening, and he’s dismissed them because Vegas is always plotting, and Kim’s busy. But then he gets completely blindsided by Tawan, and gets wrapped up in that messy plot.
So, we get a Kim who reacts to Vegas’s plots, rather than foiling them preemptively. But also, it's not Kim’s job to monitor Vegas and his schemes against the main family.
Back to sightlines, it’s also, keeping Chay in his line of sight – in the warehouse showdown, Kim is always aware of where Chay is, at all times. That's his priority. When he first wakes up, he’s like, get Chay out of the bad guys line of sight. And he does it.
But then it ends on a more complicated note. Kim is not being fully seen by Kinn, and he’s getting tangled up in all the family plots. Kinn is not paying attention properly and seeing the danger Kim is in, and deals with. Kim is not being registered in Kinn’s own sightlines, and that’s painful for Kim.
So when Kim notices Tawan can’t see him, when Kim is ‘out of his line of sight’ and Tawan is also actively putting his brother in danger - Kim makes an impulsive decision. He wants to save his brother, but he also wants his brother to finally see him, and the violence that he has been a victim of.
It's Kim's own version of a confession, he puts himself directly in Kinn's eyesight and show's him what he's capable of.
Okay and we're done! Yes that was overly thinky and dramatic. I have too many thoughts. But I hope you enjoyed me being a ridiculous overthinker. Will future chapter headings have symbolism? Maybe, maybe not, it’s all a little in the moment when I think on the titles, so I guess we will see!
#idolistic#idolistic meta#omg the length of this is embarrassing#fanfic#my fic#kinnporsche#kimchay#lol this took me two hours whoops
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Wounded (1/5)
Title: Wounded [AO3]
Characters: The Captain/Havers
Warnings: Spoilers for Series 5
Summary: 3 ways the Captain didn’t find out about Havers’s wound, 1 way he did, and 1 way he might have if life had been a little kinder to them both.
Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
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Wounded
Chapter 1: The Medal
The Captain had always known that Havers would do great deeds one day. He might not have been fortunate enough to see Havers’s brilliant mind in action on the battlefield but he’d known from the very first manoeuvre they’d done together at Button House that his lieutenant had all the necessary qualities to become an exemplary leader one day. Because Havers was not the kind of man to shout orders from the relative safety behind the lines. He was someone who led from the front; someone who didn’t mind getting his hands dirty and would never ask his men to do anything he wasn’t willing to do himself.
It was a quality the Captain had admired about him from practically day one – and desperately wished he didn’t have when he had to watch him leave for the North African front. Men like Havers rarely survived wars. The one they have found themselves entangled in might be over by Christmas – the Captain certainly thought so – but Christmas was still several months away. A lot could happen in those months, and every time a casualty list landed on his desk the Captain dreaded reading it, terrified of seeing Havers’s name in the column marked KIA – killed in action. The mere thought of Havers dying so far away from home, alone and probably scared, and without ever knowing–
The Captain shook his head. It was no use to dwell on things like that.
When Havers’s name inevitably stared up at him from an action report just a few days before Christmas in 1941, it was not in the context the Captain had expected and feared, thank god.
Lieutenant A. P. Havers: awarded the Military Cross for an act of exemplary gallantry against the enemy during the Siege of Tobruk.
The Captain’s eyes flew back to the top of the page, suddenly a lot more interested in the report than he’d been a moment ago. Havers’s actions during the siege had not only gained him the Military Cross but also a battlefield commission, making him a captain by rank just like him. Upon reading that, a smile began to tug at the Captain’s lips. He knew it wouldn’t take long for other people to notice Havers’s potential.
The smile faded when he reached the casualty report and Havers’s name glared up at him from the paper next to words like wounded, grenade blast and pieces of shrapnel to the face and neck. Havers had survived – the report made that clear – but the Captain’s chest still constricted as his mind conjured up horrible images of Havers’s face covered in blood and shaking hands reaching up to assess the damage.
He had seen wounds like that before – born by soldiers who were recuperating in the hospital on the neighbouring estate. Not a single one of them had escaped without suffering trauma to the eyes as well. The report didn’t clarify whether or not Havers had met the same fate but that did not mean he hadn’t.
Guilt churned in the Captain’s stomach. He should have been there. He should have been by Havers’s side and held his hand when the medic pulled the pieces of shrapnel from his skin; should have kept him company at the aid station and hospital and surprised him with his favourite chocolate to take his mind off the pain. Even better yet, he should have never let him go. He should have gone in his stead instead of staying home in England where it was safe and warm and war was nothing more than an abstract concept other people experienced in countries far away.
“I’m sorry,” the Captain whispered to the empty room. “I’m so sorry.”
His eyes strayed towards the window, past the gates that led away from the house, and for one desperate moment he wished he were looking out over a hot desert and saw Havers walk up to him, his gentle eyes smiling as if to say, “It’s all right.”
#the captain#lieutenant havers#capvers#caphavers#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts spoilers#my fic#bbc ghosts fic
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My experience reading Respawn of the Dead
So I decided to read a classic piece of TF2 fan fiction, Respawn of the Dead. It has glowing reviews and it seemed like an interesting idea for a fan fiction, albeit one I've read countless times. I enjoyed the first few chapters, until I came upon something that stayed with me the entire time I read the fic. The characterisation of the mercs.
Spoilers below the line
Yes I know that this fic was published only two years after the game came out, therefore we knew basically nothing about the backstories of our beloved mercenaries. But the way these characters were written rubbed me the wrong way. These were not the lovable characters that I've come to know and love (the exception being Pyro). These were characters that I had trouble visualising in my head, I could not see them as the beloved mercenaries of Team Fortress 2 (except Pyro again, and sometimes Heavy).
The author of course went down the route of "Medic and Heavy are German and Russian, let's make them an ex-nazi and a communist!", which is something that has me fuming. Of all the possible backstories for those two, the author had to choose that?! I honestly thought it was a joke at first, but nope, that was the backstories they chose for those two much loved characters.
Don't get me started on Soldier! This man is a raging homophobe and xenophobe (the fic's words, not mine). This fan fiction is also the only time I've read Soldier using racial slurs about Demo. There's other issues with Soldier, but I don't have time for that.
Other issues I found with this fic were the constant outdated terms, derogatory names, racisms, and homophobia. While I understand that this fan fiction was set in the 1960's, and those terms were common then, doesn't mean that readers had to go in without knowing what they were in for. Which brings me to my next point!
The tagging, or the non-existant tagging. This fic contains extremely confronting imagery, scenes, and language. You'd think that there would be at least some tags right? Wrong. The only tag is the Heavy/Medic ship tag. No warning of gore, violence, major character death, or implied non-con. No warnings about the racial slurs, bigotry, or just general tags telling the reader what the fic is about.
I genuinely don't know why no-one else has brought up the horrible mischaracterisation in this fic before (yes I know it's 15 years old), and I don't get why so many are praising how well it's written?! There are no paragraph breaks telling you where one scene ends and another begins, which left me confused until I came across context clues.
All in all, this fan fiction left me fuming. I understand not getting the characterisation right due to how new the game was, but a little imagination would've been nice.
The only good thing about this fic was Pyro. They were a lovely character, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about them. It was definitely a refreshing part of the reading journey.
Respawn of the Dead had an interesting idea, but was executed poorly in some places. While some may love this part of TF2 fan fiction history, I will gladly leave it in my "never read again pile".
#tf2#cw: gore#cw: facism#cw: mentions of noncon#cw: mentions of slurs#tf2 medic#heavy tf2#tf2 pyro#tf2 soldier#tf2 demoman#I just needed to tell people about this fic#Respawn of the Dead
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Tvdint meme collection part 3
I made them long time ago, time to share. Manga spoiler for some chapters not animated and characters, sfw and nsfw with different styles. At the end of the post will be the spoiler ones.
Tw: sex, violence, idk it's tvdint we are talking about
First of all, happy anniversary bi banner! You will always be famous! On 8/8/22 (Ronald's bday) season 2 was announced!
Miss them any day.
Never joke about cookies! (Video found here)
He needs to google it at least four times per month. Screen from s1 Heartstopper (I rewatched that before finish s2)
Classic Handa Tou
For my RonaDoraRona friends! (Original meme found on twitter but I lost the tweet lol)
It is so tiring living in tvdint universe, I suppose.
;)
They all know what they was doing with this pose.
And now some spoiler!
Manga chapter not animated
'24 hour surveillance, baby' has nothing straight. (From vol 3, ch 27)
30 years later au
30yl Draluc would mess with anyone don't allow him to malewife in peace fr
Manga character spoiler
Kazusaaaaaaaaa one of my fav!
Manga chapter not animated
This chapter without any context is a lucid dream I swear. And Ronald is definitely in his slut era. (From Vol 18 ch 219)
Tvdint meme collection part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (I almost run out of meme)
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[spoilers, long pissy rant ahead]
okay, i have some thoughts. Haven't finished the chapter yet, as of writing this post, but I still have some thoughts.
okay but like, I'm happy that MC was allowed to talk about their feelings but I just hate it that it's ALSO dismissed and condensed into a couple of dialogues, like EVERYONE, mc literally almost died so many times it physically hurts they didn't get more than just that one ONE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.
I don't want to compare but think of all those times Nia, Tyril, Imtura and Mal were comforted and that too it was taken seriously with long-term payoffs at the very least or callbacks to those moments of healing and learning.
It doesn't make any sense! Where was this foreshadowing that MC was "about to break into pieces"? Where was this acknowledged in the narration, apart from a few moments of empathy extended to other characters? And yet, everyone else had "plenty of time" to confide in MC. (I know I'm being nitpicky here, but I'm so mad that the one person who attempted to patch together the group again at the start of Book 2 still got treated like shit. This reasoning doesn't make an ounce of sense at all, apart from MC wanting to spare their friends the additional guilt - if you want to take it in that context.)
MC! DID YOU NOT LEARN ANYTHING AT ALL? HOW IS IT THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE PARTY HAD SOME REFORMATION ARC GOING ON (albeit a swiftly written one) BUT YOU DON'T???
First off Valax? Girly she tried to steal your blood. I know there's a nice Valax/MC buddy-buddy situation going on/relationship going on but this is just extremely not okay of the writers to dismiss MC's own feelings and true thoughts. And what do you mean, "just a little blood, no scars"? "asleep for all of it"?? Like make it make sense! Either MC is referring to how Valax kidnapped her ("little blood" HA) or the fact that they walked unscathed, which is a huge understatement - like my child, you were almost fucking killed! Stop downplaying everything!
Honestly I would accept it if it were an internal characteristic of MC to go all Mal and be like 'yeah it's just a scratch' but in the other times when they're allowed to be open with their emotions and this time, they're robbed of the only opportunity to do so, I'm going FUCKING FERAL.
I dunno, I just feel like this is just a horridly rushed scene for no reason at all. They could have cut back on the Elf-recruitment scene to give MC a chance - give us a chance to talk about it, but nope. I don't know, I feel like it was STILL half-assed.
Blades, stop making fun of death and all those 'getting killed' jokes. It isn't funny anymore. It grew stale by the start of book 2 and now it's like PB can't write new humour material anymore without making it Mal's entire personality or the subject of Tyril's disappointment or Imtura's ammunition for one-liners or Nia's excuse to gape at it in horror. Stop. Please. I just feel like it's been overdone so much, we don't know if the characters are struggling or anything.
**
Angst is a good tool to use to highlight MC's motivations or be it any characters and yet IT IS KADE WHO SUPPLIES IT!
THIS HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO BE A SUBJECT MATTER and yet of-fucking-course they have to paywall the social quest. fuck you pb. mental health's already expensive as it is.
The fact that MC has no intention to bring it up - bring up how much they missed their brother before Kade does is just the icing on the cake. Like come on, PB. For once, I want a non-paywalled scene that acknowledges this in writing - a proper conversation with Kade for once. Because paywalled scenes are usually up to the choice of the player to take and it is downright cruel for MC to not have any interaction with people until you shovel out gems. Without the social quests, everyone's personalities are so hollow. It actually hurts. Premium options used to be for collectibles, unlock bonus scenes, maybe even level up, etc, but to see characterisations - the very basic pillar of writing being paywalled is like reading an article on the internet only for the author to step out of your screen and beat your eyes with a bat so you can never read again.
Am I the only one in this?
MAYBE YOU CAN SHOW MORE AND TELL LESS PB, GOD. FOR ONCE, ACKNOWLEDGE MC'S EMOTIONS WITHOUT IT BEING ONE TEXT OF DIALOGUE IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING HOLY. (I do remember an Ash Empress scene where MC gets -- possessed, for the lack of a right word, with a vision?? And that too at the last possible second for the Kade conversation to happen. Good job, PB)
The thing is PB can do this. They've acknowledged MC's part in stories before. From being able to "tell off" characters and having MC acknowledge their past traumatic instances and giving them a motivational tool to keep going forward. A recent example of this would be in Crimes Book 1, when MC suffers from PTSD and is shown to have some panic episodes-- I'm assuming? (Not showing my bias here, but I'm just pointing at it because it is within PB's reason) and yet the company shoots themselves at the leg with overstuffed stories and plot points it becomes harder and harder to be able to relate to characters.
***
I don't know. I haven't played the whole chapter and maybe this might come off as tone-deaf and I'm gonna look like an absolute clown; once it is up and maybe in a future scene, they do bring up their trauma but I'm posting this anyway because it's just -- arghhhhhhhh
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The Man in the Pearl Mask Masterlist
Summary
The Valryan gods foresee what destruction Lucerys Velaryon’s death will bring and decide to intervene. They cannot stop the dragons from dancing but they can change the tune.
Lucerys comes back from the dead thanks to Balerion’s intervention and decides that, since he failed to help his mother’s cause as himself, he should become someone different - the masked, mute, mystery dragonrider known only as Lord Velaryon.
The gods aren’t content with intervening in just one person’s fate, however. Other gods set their eyes on Aemond and work to set him on a different path.
One day, Lucerys and Aemond’s paths will cross again and, when they do, they will be very different people.
Main Fic Chapters:
Divine Intervention
Spectre at the Feast
Death Denied
Tessarion's Work
Brothers Reunited
Grounded by a Ghost
Death to the Greens
The Return
Becoming Indispensable
The First Battle
Blood and Cheese
The Bridge Again
Storm's End Again
The Papers
Syrax's Best Work
Chaos in King's Landing
The Morning After
The Road to Battle
The Miracle at Duskendale
Facing the Music
Many Councils
The Night Ghouls
The Red Fork
A Plot is Hatched
Madness and Mutiny
Rhaena Rises
The Mercies
The War Sept
Changing Course
The Trap and the Lance
Tumbleton
The Negotiations
A Secret Meeting
Larys Returns
A Debt Repaid
Shipbreaker Bay Again
The White Worm and the Woodswitch
A Letter from an Enemy
The Princess Returns
The Chase
Cloak of Gold and Cloak of Silver
The Search
The Awful Truth
The Punishment
The Valyrian Gods
Character Profiles
Syrax
Balerion
Tessarion
Vermax
Vhagar
Meleys
Family Tree and Creation Myth
Spin Offs, Deleted Scenes and More
The Blue Poppy Dreams
Vermax used the last of the blue death poppy to allow the dead to contact Aemond through dreams. This is the counsel they have to offer him.
Aemma
Laena
Harwin
Joffrey
Lyonel
Interlude - Aegon
Deleted Scenes
Stuff and nonsense too good not to write but not good enough to make the fic.
Two Weeks After Duskendale
Tyraxes and Vhagar
Bywater
Grave of the Bumblebees
Alternative Blue Poppy Dream - Luke
How Vermax Won His Wager
Alternative title: Valyrian Gods Behaving Badly
There's nothing more dangerous than a bored Valyrian god and Vermax is getting very bored in King's Landing indeed. So, when his friend, Gaelithox, offers up a friendly wager, he can't resist the opportunity to cause chaos among the greens.
Be prepared for a maiden made of clouds, a King getting turned into a horse for five minutes and all sorts of other godly hijinks.
The Wager
The Cloak
The Ring
The Sword
The Party
The Consequences Part 1
The Consequences Part 2
The Consequences Part 3
The Consequences Part 4
The Recompense
The Revenge
Playlist
This is an ever-growing playlist made up of my ideas and suggestions from my lovely commenters. I'll always open for more suggestions so please don't hesitate to comment with yours!
Fire and Ice by Nerdout (suggested by RoAKing0fShadows)
Back from the Dead by Skillet (suggested by RoAKing0fShadows)
The Dominoes Fall by Dario Marianelli
Mirage by OneRepublic (suggested by RoAKing0fShadows)
Firestarter by The Prodigy
(spoilers for Chapter 19 incoming) No Bullets Fly by Sabaton
Night Witches by Sabaton
Molossus by James Newton Howard
No Light, No Light by Florence and the Machine (suggested by cryptid_corvid)
Silly Tumblr posts
Just a collection of stuff and nonsense.
Chapter 16 in GIFs
My Snarkiest Author's Notes (without context)
Details
Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Fandoms:
House of the Dragon (TV)
A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Relationships:
Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen/Lucerys Velaryon (Son of Rhaenyra) ; Cregan Stark/Jacaerys Velaryon ; Baela Targaryen/Helaena Targaryen
Characters:
Lucerys Velaryon (Son of Rhaenyra) ; Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen ; Balerion the Valyrian God (A Song of Ice and Fire ; Syrax the Valyrian God (A Song of Ice and Fire) ; Valyrian Gods (A Song of Ice and Fire) ; Aegon II Targaryen ; Alicent Hightower ; Helaena Targaryen; Daeron Targaryen (Son of Viserys I) ; Alys Rivers of House Strong ; Jacaerys Velaryon ; Cregan Stark ; Daemon Targaryen ; Otto Hightower ; Laenor Velaryon ; Rhaenyra Targaryen ; Rhaenys Targaryen Velaryon ; Baela Targaryen ; Rhaena Targaryen (Daughter of Daemon) ; Tyraxes the God (ASoIaF) ; Vermithor | Jaehaerys I Targaryen's Dragon ; Silverwing | Alysanne Targaryen's Dragon ; Corlys "The Sea Snake" Velaryon ; Erryk Cargyll ; Floris Baratheon ; Borros Baratheon
Additional Tags:
Fix-It ; Secret Identity ; Ghosts ; Shakespeare References ; Slow Burn ; Eventual Romance ; Other Additional Tags to Be Added ; Body Horror ; Blood and Gore ; Vermax the Valyrian God ; Tessarion the Valyrian God ; Lucerys Velaryon (Son of Rhaenyra) Lives ; Aged-Up Character(s) ; Not Beta Read ; Nightmares ; Minor Cregan Stark/Jacaerys Velaryon ; Sabaton References ; Minor Baela Targaryen/Helaena Targaryen
#my fanfiction#fanfiction#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond x lucerys#aemond targaryen#lucerys velaryon#luke lives#fix it fic#fanfiction masterlist#the man in the pearl mask#lucemond
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