#it comes in titty+ and titty- varieties

[ncteez]

The perks of being that guy (l.jh.)

Taking note of the strangers you see day to day isn’t something you’d normally do. The only reason today is different is because the guy who made small talk as he rang you up for your intimate items was the same guy who showed up catering for your family reunion. 

or the one where jihoon is a dildo salesman, a caterer, a self-titled mechanic, and also your ride home. he is not an expert in any of his jobs, but he sure is an expert in wit and, well, other things. 

ao3 | m.list | reblog to give woozi a lil kiss 

minors dni!! 

WORDCOUNT― 14k

PAIRING― jihoon x afab reader 

CONTENT― strangers to lovers like immediately, long fluffy hair jihoon!!!!,  you buy a monster sized dildo, blatant talking of masturbation and toys, smut, cliche blooming an attachment to someone after (1) fuckening. 

NOTE― a present for u all because i hit a milestone of 5000 followers!! this was only supposed to be like 5k words but i guess i was in love with him this whole time. anyway, this is not proof read bc i think u guys know by now that im not about that life, so if you find a typo– don’t tell me i will delete everything out of embarrassment. 

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― it’s kind of fluffy im so sorry i just have feelings for him, average cock size jihoon!!!! he is very much a service top, making out, hand holding, caressing, grinding, finger fucking, titty worship,  unprotected sex (just wrap it guys, im too lazy to write a condom scene), sweet talking as a form of dirty talk, missionary bc i refuse to not write smut where he wants to look directly at you, back scratches (sexual) ~

~

Never have you been put in the position to make small talk about the sex toys you place on a counter to purchase. Then again, you guess it’s part of the job description that most people ignore or aren’t privy to actually doing. 

Never have you been informed of the wide variety of lubricants, additional toy-cleaners, or the bigger and smaller alternatives to your chosen toy. You don’t show discomfort though, because it’s not uncomfortable. Sex is normal, masturbation is more normal, and the man in front of you appears to be normal too.

“There’s twelve different color variants if you prefer something less fleshy.” The man says, standing at the counter with some sort of a permanent pout on his lips. 

“I’m fine with my choice, if you could just ring me up now I can get out of your hair.” You respond, glancing at the time on your phone and wondering how you got stuck with the only employee who actually does his job here.

“Are you sure you don’t want any lubricant…?” The man adds, gazing at the size of your toy and then looking you up and down as if you clearly wouldn’t be able to handle it without said lube purchase. 

The man with no name tag appears to be blissfully unaware of his invasiveness with that question as you tilt your head with a raised brow. Shocked at the very question, it’s actually quite laughable that he’s so monotone with the offensive comment. You imagine he’s done this for so long, he must be a manager trying to get the day over with, going through the steps in a bored mood with little to no regard as to how he must sound to strangers buying their first or twentieth dildo. 

With your assumption that he doesn’t exactly care about the level of wet your vagina is when you use this toy, you respond.

“I think I know what I can take and I already have lube, but thanks.”

He nods, not even sparing you much of a glance before giving you a total and bagging your item.

Now, despite Jihoon’s lack of interest toward the purchase of toys he finds it comical that he’s grown numb to the very fact that he knows everyone in this town’s kinks after they step out of the shop’s door. Someone’s gotta do this job and keep those secrets and he likes to think he fits the bill perfectly. 

Lively as he may be outside of this shop, each job comes with a personality and this one calls for one of disinterest in your product but interest in the sale. He’s not one to lie to himself though, many times a pretty girl has marched in and bought toys far bigger than any man and he does tend to let his mind wander about it from time to time. When he first started this job, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, he found it hard to navigate a single sale without a flush of rosy tints crossing his cheeks and ears. Now, he’s become a veteran at keeping his dick locked in place if he were to feel some type of way about a purchase and the one purchasing. 

Shy as he was when he started, it’s all lost now as he handles dicks and dongs, pocket pussies and anal plugs, even whips and chains. 

Shy. That’s definitely a word and surprisingly one that can describe him when he’s not on schedule within these walls of alien dicks and lime flavored lube to match the grotesque green color. At his other job, because he works two, he takes the praise of being the charming yet, timid man who shows up with pans of food for events. 

The guests seem to love him, and many times during weddings and company parties he has been offered phone numbers or asked for one simply because he appears to be that of a friendly face with a kind sense of being. 

It’s a stark contrast of jobs, and somehow he’s managed to dodge knowing many of the people coming into his night job to shop for ways to fuck themselves. The rare time it had happened, he was thankful to have another person in the shop to ring them up. Keeping up with two jobs is hard, and keeping up with two personalities is even harder.

~

You hadn't thought of that guy from the sex shop even once until he showed his face at your family reunion. 

He noticed you before you managed to realize it was him though. Stealing looks in your direction as you chat with little cousins and elder aunts and uncles, mostly to double check in his brain if you’re really the girl who showed up and nonchalantly bought the newest dildo in stock. The fleshy colored one with rotating beads and a g-spot stimulator button. Upon your eyes meeting his though, he could tell it was you simply by your furrowed brow as you recognized him. 

Jihoon couldn’t help but smirk. He knew that eventually someone at an event would recognize him as their local sex-shop manager, he’s actually shocked it doesn’t happen more often. At least it’s you though, a woman who looks near his age and clearly has a very healthy relationship with her sexuality. So much so that you weren’t shy or nervous in buying the toy from him, because it’s very true that many people feel too vulnerable when buying those kinds of items. 

His smirk doesn’t go unnoticed by you before you look away from him and focus your attention back to your family. And by the time he’s prepared the food and is standing aside to help explain  or describe what ingredients the dishes have, you’re walking up with your empty plate and an awkward glance. 

He follows you down the line, seemingly more interested in you than anyone else. You could argue it’s just an attempt to make you feel embarrassed though.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” You ask, a knowing look telling him that you’re already very aware of that ‘somewhere’ you know him from. 

His pursed lips and snide hidden laugh at you is one thing, but the way he whispers to you over a pan of potato casserole is another. 

“I think you know who I am.” He says, crossing his arms as he leans back again with a flicker of a grin. 

You leave it at that, looking him in the eye curiously and for some reason, smiling back at the strange second encounter with a man who appears to have a name tag now.

“Thanks, Jihoon. See you around.” 

You’re heading away from the table of food and now toward your saved spot at the table of family that you missed the most. Your same-age cousins, the ones you grew up with and made mud pies for your parents with during summer evenings. 

“What was that about?” One of them leans over to ask, glancing to the man who is still overseeing the table of food and maintaining perfect temperatures. 

“Huh? He was just telling me what was in the potatoes.” 

She takes your answer as truth without issue, and the conversation falls away and into something else. College life, job life, family life. 

~

Okay so you’re trying to hear yourself out here. Are you somehow curious and interested in speaking with Jihoon? Yeah. Do you know why? Also yes. For one, he just sold you a fucking interesting sex toy last weekend in the most uncomfortable way possible, and now he’s here at your family reunion to remind you of what you do in your apartment when you’re alone. 

His personality seemed different this time too. He wasn’t monotone, he was snide with you about knowing who you are. He probably thinks it’s funny that he ended up at your family reunion over any other event.

So yeah, maybe you find yourself going up to the table for seconds even though you’re no longer hungry. Maybe you definitely wait until no one else is at the table and he appears to be tidying up the space and wiping up spills. 

“How many jobs do you have?” You ask in a sarcastic tone when you reach him, the table between the two of you creating a comfortable distance to poke and prod.

He jumps only slightly at your presence because he didn’t notice you walking up. Then he’s smiling again, looking at you up and down. 

“Plenty. How much lube do you have left?” He answers before shooting back his own question and getting right to the point. 

You freeze in shock at his question, reminding yourself that his monotone voice from the late dildo purchase is no more and he now comes across as vibrant and charming to you. You check him out for a moment, taking mental notes of what may not be to like about him. Unfortunately, you’re not finding much to take note of. 

“I can’t imagine you have much left, that thing was a fucking monster.” He pauses to cover his mouth, forgetting that he’s supposed to be timid and gentle during his day job. He’s not supposed to be himself.

You find yourself laughing at his panic though, leaning over the table and holding out your empty plate. Mostly just to get in closer to him. 

“Why are you so interested in my ‘fucking monster”’ dildos anyway?” You narrow your eyes. 

He pauses, his panic easing after taking note of your easy personality and banter towards him. 

“I think anyone would be interested, with all things considered.” He checks you out again. “Correction, they should be worried.” 

“You’re different from before,” you comment, both of you now blatantly staring down each other. “I like this version of you more.” 

Something inside of him feels giddy at that. Not to be cliche but he wonders if this is what it’s like to instantly have a crush on someone. Again, he’s not one to lie to himself. You’re pretty and you appear to be confident. Confident enough to discuss this at your own family reunion at least.

“Maybe I’ll see you again sometime then.” He puts a hand forward, inviting you to shake it but you simply stare down at it. 

“Yeah, maybe you will.” You smile, slapping his hand as if you’re low fiving him. 

Honestly, he might actually see you within the next day or two because he was kind of right to ask about how much lube you have left, but it’s not like you’d answer that truthfully if at all. You might be running out after just two uses. He was right again about it being a fucking monster, because well, yeah. Maybe you’ll pop in and shop for bulk lube instead of rejecting his up-sale. 

~

Unfortunately for you, upon the reunion coming to an end, you get into your car and of course it doesn’t start. Your head slamming into the steering wheel with a sigh that’s probably loud enough for the entire town to hear.

The last thing you need is your father driving you home, because he will lecture you about your car and how it’s got to be some fault of your own for it to not start. And you know, yeah maybe it was your fault. Why were your lights turned on during a sunny sunday afternoon? Fuck if you know. Why were they left on for the entire nine hours you spent at your parent’s house? You refuse to ask yourself questions.

Just as you prepare to head back inside, taking the walk of shame ten minutes after saying your goodbyes, a savior appears.

That savior is none other than Jihoon walking up with his stiff button down shirt partially unbuttoned, hair now disheveled as he must have ruffled it up after the day of work. He watched you from his catering van for just a few minutes before finally getting out to offer his expertise. 

“The battery is dead.” He smiles, slapping both palms on your hood and leaning to look at you through the windshield. 

“Smart man, can you un-dead my battery before my dad comes out?”

Jihoon shakes his head apologetically. 

“I already checked the van for the cables, could be a write up on my part for not checking before leaving. We are supposed to have all sorts of shit to prevent breakdowns on a job. Not today though, apparently.” He scratches the back of his neck as he walks to your opened car door. 

“If you can hang tight for like ten minutes I can swing by after dropping the van off.”

Your eyes plead with him. You’d prefer this, yes. If he’s willing to help, you’re willing to accept.

“You sure I’m too out of the way for you to do that?”

He shakes his head nonchalantly, waving you off as he leans into your car to pull your keys out of the ignition. He smells like food, obviously he does, but there’s a scent of something else on him that’s far more attractive. The dull scent of cologne that matches him all too well. 

“Don’t try to turn it on anymore if you don’t want your dad coming out.” He laughs. “I’m sure he would help you but if you’d rather I help you, I am more than happy to do it.”

He’s teasing. His little crush pushes him to want to help you, but he’s gonna play it off as casually as possible. 

“I’ll hang out here. My dad would lecture the fuck out of me.”

Jihoon nods, backing away and heading back to his van to fulfill his offer.

On another note, you’re shocked that your father didn’t hear the commotion, and even more shocked that he didn’t step outside once since the reunion ended. He must have been tired, and you know him, he sleeps like a rock even if he hits the sack at 7pm without even cleaning up the yard. 

~

“Oh, it’s dead dead.” Jihoon looks at you apologetically, peeking his head out from the side of your hood and through your window. 

“Define dead dead.” You comment, taking your keys out of the ignition with a huff. 

“Like, you need a new battery. This one is done for.”

You sigh loudly, knowing that now you’ll have to go ask your parents for a ride home. Know that your dad is going to add more to his lectures with each day your car is sitting in their driveway. This is so fucking annoying. At least you work from home though, so it’s not like you’re gonna lose your job over this or anything. 

Jihoon unhooks the cables and turns off his car, then stands there and watches you for a moment. You look frustrated and annoyed, and it’s very much like him to offer more help. Of course it is. 

“Would it be too forward to ask if you need a ride home?” 

You look at him confused, tilting your head and studying his body language much like before. You’re not one to decline someone making your life a little bit easier, and he is interesting to talk to. You nod slowly, then pause.

“You’ve worked all day, don’t waste your off-time helping me out.”

“I’m already wasting my off time on you though, might as well let me drive you home too?”

You stare at him. 

“Okay.”

The awkward silence sets in shortly after you seat yourself in his car. You fill that silence with small sarcastic comments about his car though, and soon it becomes easy to be in the space with him.

“Where did this sticker come from?” You ask, poking your finger into a sticker with its edges rolled from the summer heat, probably.

“Ex girlfriend, i couldn’t get it off without it leaving a residue so I’m just letting the sun do its job and melt it off.”

“Oh, harsh.” You laugh, wanting to prod further. “Why’d you break up?”

Jihoon pauses, you can tell by the way his foot lets up from the gas momentarily that he wasn’t expecting you to ask that. Then again, he’s said some weird shit to you too, so you figure it’s not an end-all question. 

“Was that too forward to ask?” 

“Not at all, just wasn’t expecting it,” He shakes his head with a small smile, nearly reaching his hand from the wheel to pat your leg in reassurance. He holds back, wondering why the fuck that urge felt so normal for him to do. “It’s been like a year, so I’m over it and stuff. She just thought I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her.”

“Ouch, even harsher.” You smile in reassurance to him, also feeling it normal to want to do that for some reason. “Her loss, I mean, discounted dildos and food? Huge loss.”

He laughs at your comments, briefly looking over at you once he stops at a red light. Your eyes are shining with life, with interest even. At that moment, he feels something between the two of you. Which is quite strange considering this is your first time officially meeting him outside of his working hours. He can’t help the way his face softens though, it happens against his will, honestly, it does. 

“You’re kind of cute,” You blurt, breaking eye contact with him and shifting in your seat. “and fun to hang out with.” 

“Hang out?” He laughs at you, eyes now adjusting back to the road and lowering his speed just to have a bit more time with you. “This is hardly a hang-out, but if you’re interested, I’m more than willing to check my schedule to see when I’m free next.”

You feel confidence raise up in your chest, bubbling to be free in the form of a question likely too bold to actually consider.

“You’re free right now…” You comment quietly, glancing at him. 

“Hm?” He asks, tightening his grip on the steering wheel and feeling your eyes on him. He heard you, but he wouldn’t mind hearing you repeat it.

“I said, you’re free right now.” You repeat, this time with more confidence. “Would it be too forward to ask if –”

“Nothing is too forward to ask, I literally sold you a dildo.” 

You pause in shock, all thoughts leaving your head.

“Damn, alright,” You laugh, feeling kind of warm inside at how his forwardness matches your own. “If you’re free right now, we could hang out right now.” 

How lucky for both of you. He’s actually not catering tomorrow and only has to be at work at the good ol’ sex shop in the evening. 

“Alright,” He nods, glancing over to you. “Kind of fucked up we are hanging out after I met your entire family and still haven’t gotten a name from you yet though, wouldn’t you think?” 

Oh fuck, he’s right. 

“I’m sure you heard the kids yelling it all day. Don’t be dramatic.”

He laughs, already in love with the idea of spending more time with you. 

“Where to then, y/n?” 

~

If your parents were to ask why you’re walking through your apartment building with the caterer following behind you, you’d have no excuse. Then again, as an adult, you don’t think you need one. It’s strange despite how open and casual you are with making friends though, because you never just invite strangers to your place for friendship. Not at least without hanging out a few times. 

You guess it’s not super awkward because it’s true that he already knows things about you that your family doesn’t. Such as, the things you penetrate yourself with when you’re alone. It’s a major ice breaker, and something that makes the friendship with him come easy even after barely talking to the guy.

The few words you have shared have been easy and fun, so it’s only natural that if your instinct is to want to be around him a little longer, you’d invite him in right? You weren’t really expecting him to accept your answer to his question. 

“Where to then?” 

You thought for a moment when he asked that. You don’t go to clubs or bars anymore, most places would have been closing within the hour, and it’s not like you didn’t eat to peak fullness during the family reunion so having a late dinner with him was out of the question too. You answered him so easily, and he accepted in a way that seemed just as natural to him. 

“We could just hang out at my place, I’ve got plenty of streaming services, a gaming system, and wine.”

“Sounds good.” 

It was so easy to become friends with him, and now with him following you up to your apartment, the typical awkwardness that should come with this type of thing isn’t swarming your mind at all. He’s even making small talk about the building itself after parking in your parking spot. 

“This building is way nicer than mine, you got a door code and everything just to get in.”

“Wasn’t always like this. Being a single woman in a city like this calls for safety measures though.”

A little box in his head checks out. He didn’t even have to ask if you’re single, because he already assumed you were with the way you so easily invited him over. 

By the time you get to your door with him, he’s polite when he walks in and takes off his shoes. Polite in the way he looks around and studies your space, even polite in the way he walks into the living room and invites himself onto your couch and grabs your remote. 

“I was going to say make yourself comfortable but–”

“Well, would you prefer I sit on your floor?” He shoots back with a sarcastic tone in his voice. “Would you prefer I start digging through your cabinets for snacks? Would you prefer–”

“You’re so much more talkative when I’m not trying to buy something from you.” You comment with a laugh, dipping into the kitchen for two glasses and that cheap bottle of wine. 

“Speaking of, do you actually use that thing and like it? I mean, I see some weird purchases but that specific one is super popular with the fetish groups.”

For the first time, you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You should have known that the sex toy would be a point of conversation, considering the first time you ever met was buying it. 

“Yes, I use it. I’m surprised you find it shocking considering it’s literally your job to know what people like in terms of getting off.”

He smiles at that, because you’re damn right he knows. Most of the time he would prefer not to know, but he always did wonder if, on the off chance, he ended up hooking up with a customer he’d have some prior knowledge of how they like it based on toys alone. 

“You know, no one buys toys on a Monday at nine in the morning.” 

“I buy toys at nine in the morning on a Monday,” You chuckle, carrying the two glasses and wine into the living room and plopping down next to him. “Why does that matter? I’m sure you make your quotas even on the slow days considering how hard you were trying to up-sell me.”

He shrugs as he watches you pour him a glass. 

“It’s easy to up-sell when you know people’s kinks after a few purchases. I do that to everyone just to gauge what they need so if they come back I can make more offers.”

“A true salesman.” You laugh with a pitied voice. “What would you say my kink is?”

He studies you, looking you up and down without shame and thinking hard about your single purchase. 

“Well, considering that specific item is, again, usually looked at by a specific type of person or couple, I’d say–”

“Wrong.” You interrupt before he even tries to make a guess. “I don’t have a kink, I just have a sex drive.”

You take a sip at his silence of being beaten to the punch, and then he takes his own thoughtful sip. 

“Okay then, What do you think my kink is?” He asks slyly, cup still against his lips as he sips again. 

“Wha–” You narrow your eyes. “Hell if I know, you probably don’t even have sex after being in a hyper-sexualized space like that for hours on end.”

“Wrong.” He pokes his tongue into his cheek and looks away from you with another casual chuckle.

“Are you telling me you have a pocket pussy or like, a buttplug or something?”

“Three pocket pussies, actually.”

You don’t know why you’re shocked. For some reason his sex toys becoming the focus makes you feel more shy than your own being the focus. 

“I bet you named them.”

“Pocket 1, Butthole 1, and Jessica.”

“Jessca?!” 

He nods in a matter-of-fact tone with a proud smile. 

You feel comfortable around him, never having a friend who openly talks to you about these things without any type of awkwardness. It’s the fact that he’s a man too. Usually they think with their dicks and he seems to have no qualms in admitting that it’s something he may do from time to time too. 

You imagine he needs this type of personality to work such a job though, being casual about sex can be so difficult for your average joe because for some reason, it is embarrassing. It’s hard to talk about even to sex-shop employees. You like to think he’s probably someone who makes others feel comfortable about their sexual habits though, because you feel comfortable. 

“I’m lying by the way.” He cuts through your thoughts, “I only have two.” 

You nod energetically. 

“Jesse and James.” 

“Oh my god, how did you know that?” 

You narrow your eyes again. He’s gotta be a fucking nerd to get the reference, even if everyone knows what pokemon is. 

“So the pussy is Jesse, and the asshole is James.” 

He nods slowly, acting surprised before smirking yet again. 

“Actually, I only have one but I’ve experimented with other things that come through the door. Might as well, right?”

“And yet, you’re shocked about my single dildo purchase without knowing of my other items of interest? I could have just been trying something new too, y’know.”

Another sip of wine, and another glance away from him.

“No one buys that as a first time experience.” He shoots back.

“Okay, enough about my dildo, I actually have a question about something you might have in stock but I’ve kind of been too embarrassed to ask until now.”

He nods, his personality shifting only slightly into that as the manager of the sex-shop.

“Shoot.”

“Do you guys have like,” you pause, unsure of why you’re even trying to ask. Again, it’s not like masturbation is embarrassing, nor is the purchasing of toys. Asking for a specific item is a bit too intimate to you though, so you usually just buy those things online. “Okay hear me out.”

“Tentacles? Furry buttplugs with tails attached? Bondage rope? Paddles?”

“No…” You pause at his spewing of different types of toys. “I know you have all of that.”

He pauses, unsure of what could be so embarrassing. 

“Do you guys have sex dolls for women? You know, like, just a dude torso with a normal length and girth?”

Jihoon fucking snorts. How mundane. Unfortunately for you though, Nope. 

“Nah, the owner tries to cater more towards men and fetish stuff. We’ve got women sex dolls but he’s never really even mentioned just like…a dildo attached to some sort of form that is shaped like a person.”

You shrug. 

“Guess sticking it to the wall is all I can do for now then. But like,” You pause, realizing that you’re actually going into detail at this point, which might be a little uncomfortable for him? Maybe? “It’s really annoying to have it sticking to the floor, and you’re like, riding it and it just pops off and stabs your thigh slipping out mid-orgasm.”

He snorts again, this time unable to stop laughing at the image of whatever orgasm instilled the frustration in you to even mention that happening. He tries to stifle his laughter with the last sip of his wine before choking it down and pushing his glass at you for more. 

“Noted,” He snorts, nodding his head and almost hiding his face from you. “I’ll tell the boss we need male sex dolls so the women don’t get thigh fucked mid-orgasm.”

You glare. 

“Dude, no, because it actually hurt.”

“Maybe you should slow down next time so the full force of your…” he pauses, realizing how sexual the image in his head is of you right now. 

“Okay, wait. I’m sorry, is this conversation too much right now?” You ask, looking him up and down and giving him a new glass of wine. “You’re blushing.”

He tries to play it off. 

“As if you could make me blush.” He laughs at you, downing half of his glass in one go. “To make up for our lack of product though, and if you don’t tell anyone, I’ll give you a discount on your next purchase just for embarrassing yourself like that just now.”

“Oh, I was supposed to be embarrassed?” You counter, laughing along with him as you actually start to look at him.

You noticed that he was handsome before. Normally employees of shops like those are nonchalant normal people, or strange old men who try to impose their kinks onto you. Jihoon though. Jihoon. Hmm, how to explain him?

With his messy hair that covers his eyes every time he whips his head toward you in a laugh, with his wide smile and pretty eyes. He may not be the tallest man you’ve ever looked at like this but damn is he thick. Like his thighs. Damn, the thighs. Even him now  compared to him when he was catering for your family, he’s so much more handsome.

His shoulders are broad, and he’s just… You don’t even know how to explain to yourself the attraction you have toward him at this moment. Handsome is one thing, and you would have continued calling him that if it weren’t for the fact that he’s laughing with you on your couch about a ruined orgasm. 

“You know, Jihoon,” You start, looking into your glass and swirling the liquid inside, then you look up again and make eye contact. “I’m really not usually this forward but like,”

His brain stops for a moment at the serious tone in your voice, his expression softens and you can tell he’s listening. 

“I know masturbation and stuff is normal, and like, you see and talk about these things all the time but I never really talk about it to other people, they always get weird about it.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true. I can’t say this is the most normal hang out I've ever had. Usually we talk about our favorite movies or books or something.”

You wave him off. 

“Yeah, that’s a good point. We could talk about our favorite movies but I find myself, um–” You stop for a second. 

“Is talking about it making you realize that it’s uncomfortable?” 

“No, the opposite actually.” You laugh, now actually feeling embarrassed. “I keep thinking about you mentioning the other things you’ve bought and experimented with.”

“Oh? You’re curious?” He laughs, now feeling a bit shy himself because he’s pretty sure that’s you asking him to put images in your head. “I mean I could go into detail but it actually might be too-telling right now.”

You nod, unsure of why you even suggested.

“Maybe next time?” You change the subject with a smile, one that does seem slightly disappointed. 

“There’s a next time?” He smiles, setting his glass down on your table and shifting toward you.

“I don’t see why not? I’m having fun, plus you offered me a discount.”

He nods, looking around the room and checking the time. 

“I should probably head out then? We’ve both had a long day.” 

You nod back to him, feeling a bit sad. 

“When are you free next?” You ask, grabbing your phone in a way that seems a bit too excited. “Can you give me your number?”

He obliges, exchanging phone numbers and promising to contact you with his next free day or night to hang out. 

Just as he goes to leave though, for some reason both of you feel as though the satisfaction of this hang out wasn’t reaching full potential. 

“Hey, um,” He stops before he puts his shoes back on. “Would it be too forward to say I’m not tired and wouldn’t mind–”

“Staying for a bit longer?” You finish his sentence for him, patting the couch as if that was also on your mind.

He doesn’t even respond, and instead makes his way back onto the couch where the cushion is still warm, unable to help that fluttering feeling in his chest.

~

It's almost midnight by the time he offers to leave again, and yet, he stays at your clear disappointment of the offer. Another hour later, the two of you are sitting contently and pretending to watch some shitty tv show in comfortable silence.

“We should say something.” He blurts, mid episode.

“What do you mean?”

He turns toward you. 

“We should talk about this.” He motions at the space between the two of you. 

You’re silent while you try to build up the confidence to meet him half-way again. 

“You can correct me if you’re not interested but I actually really would like it if you kissed me or something.” He adds as you continue to process what he seems to be getting at.

You’re taken aback by his forwardness, and instantly you knew he didn’t communicate this earlier for your own sake. Thankfully, you’ve tried to make it easy for him to read you and he ate it up like his favorite book. The content feeling between the two of you was buzzing up to this point. Very loudly in your brain where you were thinking of how to kiss him before the night is up. Even as just a “thank you” if he were to turn away from it. 

“Oh yeah?” You ask, tilting your head and seeing him scoot closer. “Kiss you, or something?”

He nods his head, looking at you without much issue and searching for a reaction. 

“Are you interested in me like that, in any way?” He asks, looking for confirmation.

“Oh, most definitely.”

The smile that spreads across his face is one that you can argue will be unforgettable. It’s an expression you hope to bring to every person in your life, one that seems to express nothing but relief, excitement, and maybe even a hint of bashfulness.

“You thought I'd invite you inside without being interested?” You smile at him, feeling a little bit fuzzy in the head at the admittance. 

“I thought you were just being nice, or like, just interested in friendship,” He rambles on, stopping himself short to give more context to that statement. “I mean, it would be fine if this was all for friendship and I'm happy with that too but I can admit to coming into your apartment with maybe, uh, a small crush.” 

“I can admit to inviting you in with a small crush, maybe.” 

“Maybe.”

“Are we being too forward?” You ask, emphasizing the repetitive way that word seems to appear. “Even though you’re in my apartment at one in the morning and both of us are giving any and every excuse to keep you here?”

He smiles this time in a way that appears to be self-soothing, and you can imagine you are too. It’s always nerve-wracking to walk on eggshells with another person, the threat of wondering if you'll fall alone or fall with them into a new version of partnership. 

You don’t think about the lack of knowing him past a purchase, a quick conversation at a family reunion, or the past several hours he’s huddled up with you on this couch. You simply don’t think it’s strange at this point. After all, you’ve met people online and invited them over without much more than a name, age, and quick conversation about what they want sexually. How is this worse? How is this strange? 

“You’re right. Maybe we should stop being so polite when the reality of it is that I’ve been imagining what you’ve done with that toy since the day you bought it.” 

Okay, maybe that was too forward but all is lost now as your image of him changes drastically within the mere seconds it took him to say that, not in a bad way either. Again, of course he’s comfortable admitting it, the dude stares at dicks and holes all day. But now he’s staring at you, and talking directly to you.

Your silence makes him shift a bit, shaking his head apologetically. 

“Found the boundary, got it.” He shames himself with a timid voice, looking away from you and back to the tv with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m not lying though.” He adds after a few more minutes of your silence.

“Not much of a boundary if I admit that I was blatantly asking you earlier what you’ve done to experiment with your toys.”

“Aha! So I was right in thinking you were straight up asking for mind-porn of me?!” He feels instantly comfortable again, turning his entire body toward you as he folds up one of his legs to sit on with a little bounce. 

“Maybe, but what do you mean you’ve been imagining since I bought it? You barely made eye contact with me that day.”

“Oh, I was checking you out the whole time you shopped. Imagine my face when I knew exactly what toy you were reaching for.”

You shove him by the shoulder with a laugh, realizing that this is the first bodily contact you’ve ever had with him, but he actually leans into your shove rather than out of it. Meaning, he barely budges. 

“If I looked you in the eye at the register, you would have thought I was some pervert.” 

“You are a pervert. You said it had, what? Twelve other colors?” 

He shrugs with a pained smile at how cringe he must have sounded to you. 

“You seemed more like a sparkly pink girl rather than a normal flesh tone girl. Then again, this was before I knew you were looking for a literal male sex doll for probably super normal pretend-sex.”

You shove him again, your laugh coming out more forced now at the way he jokes with you. Once again, he doesn’t budge. In fact, he’s leaning in closer. 

“Now hold on, you didn’t mention anything about one having glitter in it.” You joke, wiggling your brows. 

“You trying to fuck a man or a magic unicorn?” He laughs yet again, all of it coming out more forced as the two of you drag out information just to hear the dirty words in a voice you’re only just realizing you like far too much. 

“A man.” You respond, this time not laughing, looking him dead in the eye and trying to pretend you don’t notice how close the two of you have gotten. “Why else would I go for more human skin tones?”

“Fuck if I know, I haven’t met a single man who has vibration settings or rolling beads though.” 

You snort. 

“Shame…but also, why do you think I’m on the hunt for the most mundane sex toy a woman can buy now? The rolling beads almost had me passing out.” 

“Was it too much?” He asks seriously, hoping to god it was. 

“A little bit, yeah.”

“I can imagine you want something to feel real after that.”

For some reason, his words hit you straight in the gut. Your stomach drops as your attraction heightens, and suddenly you’re just staring at him as you respond. 

“I can imagine so, yeah.” 

He stares back, almost no space between the two of you as the banter only brought you both mentally and physically as close as possible without becoming twisted together. 

“When was the last time you felt something real?” He asks against his better judgment, wondering if you’re on the same page with him. Wondering if all this banter was leading to somewhere or nowhere. Because he could have sworn admitting to wanting you to kiss him, and you’ve yet to do so. 

“A month and a half.” You respond dryly, suddenly needing something to drink. 

He glances down at your neck when you swallow around your words, then stares at your lips before breathing in a sigh. One that was supposed to relieve the tension in this moment, but only building it more because he knows you see him do it. He knows you see him wet his bottom lip too.

“Are you going to kiss me, or are you planning to wait another month and a half to get what you want?” He continues on his streak of boldness as if to distract you from noticing the sexual tension, feeling his heart skip beats at the intensity of the moment. 

“It’s not like we have anything better to do.” You start, leaning in and still looking straight into his eyes.

“Are you suggesting that I’m boring?” He narrows his eyes as he feels your breath against his lips, still sweet from the wine that did close to nothing in terms of altering the brain. The two of you are totally planted into reality, if anything, a little drunk on the other. 

“Not at all.” You adjust your words from earlier, there, just hovering over his lips. “I’m just saying that nothing is more interesting than kissing you right now.”

Oh, the fluttering in his belly is so fucking intense right now. No eighteen inch alien tentacle dildo on a shelf could scare him as much as you do at this moment. Intimidatingly outspoken and aware of your wants and needs. His eyelashes flutter just like his stomach does, closing them slowly until he can feel your lips on his. 

Your stomach, on the other hand, has been doing flips since the first instance he admitted to wanting to stay. All of the tension, all of the comfortable silence, all of the glances, the smiles, the laughing, all of it was leading up to this. The moment your lips hit his, they feel much like you imagined they would. 

Soft, plush, warm. The thin lipped grins he’s given you all fucking day now laying flat against your own lips, no longer grinning, now just wanting. And he’s gentle, so fucking gentle with it. Never has a man asked you to kiss him. Usually they close the gap to try and swoon you. It appears you’re both being swooned by each other at the moment though, and his soft kiss only pulls back momentarily before he leans forward, closer.

The third touch, save for you shoving him, his lips on yours, and now…his hand on your cheek. Caressing so gently as he deepens the kiss with ease. The heat rises up and through your skin at the simple touch. You think he must feel it with the way he chuckles into the kiss and starts peppering them against your lips over and over again. A split second between each lay of his lips, and then another solid kiss. One where you finally start moving yours too.

It’s slow and languid in the way he kisses you like this, barely even darting his tongue out but focusing more on your cheek against his palm. He can feel your jaw move as you kiss and can’t help but love what’s happening, and when you’re the one to lick against his lower lip, he falls in so easily. 

That little movement from you, that little feeling of your tongue experimentally prodding his lips open releases the last bit of tension holding him back. He pulls back to look at you and you’re not backing down even slightly. 

“Does this feel more real for you?” He asks in a snide way, swiping your bottom lip with his thumb of the glistening saliva before tilting his head with a smile. 

You very nearly roll your eyes at him for that. And by very nearly, you do roll your eyes at him and can’t help but smile yet again. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” He says, palm still against your cheek, tips of his fingers toying with the baby hairs on your hair-line. “because I can imagine that the toy couldn’t ki-”

You shoot forward to kiss him again, only just realizing how awkward the positioning is considering neither of you were probably expecting more than a first kiss. 

He laughs into it, knowing you were silencing him of something that could arguably be the most cringe-worthy thing he can say after kissing you. His laughs start to stifle though, as you press forward and somehow manage to have his back against the seat of the couch and you planting yourself on top of him. 

“Can you shut up about the toy now? I thought we got past that,” You argue as you pull back, your cheek already missing the feeling of his palm against it. “You can’t just act like this and then say some dumb shit like that.”

You’re joking, he knows it. If anything, you’re complimenting him right now and he eats it the fuck up as he stares up at you. 

“Was I wrong though? Can it do this for you?” 

You take a moment to look at him, realizing that this is the man who you just kissed. With his hair a mess and fanned out onto the cushions, strands falling in front of his eyes, but mostly swept back and exposing the entirety of his forehead to you. 

You reach forward and brush a strand from his eyes. 

“Actually, say what you want.” You correct yourself and manage to ignore his question.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” He half-chuckles as he brings his hands up to set against your waist, hoping you don’t pull out of the intimate position the two of you are in. 

“I don’t know, I was just looking at you and thought it was stupid for me to try to argue with you right now.”

“Why’s that?” He prods for more compliments, feeling himself twitch at the way you look hovering over him. 

“Are you trying to argue right now?” You tilt your head, adjusting yourself now to sit directly on his thighs and lay forward, both hands cushioning your chin on his chest as you straddle him. 

“Would it be so wrong to admit that you’re fun when you argue with me?” 

You can feel him breathe under you, nearly rocking you further and further into whatever headspace Jihoon seems to put you in. It’s too comfortable, and it almost feels as though you’ve been with him for years now. You barely know him, yet you’re lying on him as if you got married two years ago. Insane how this works. How the heart works, or the brain, or whatever drives the arousal you’re feeling right now. 

“Will you argue if I ask to show you my room?” You start, lifting back up and away from his chest, now scooting forward a bit. You don’t dare sit on it yet, but you very much would like to if he were to suggest not moving at all from this couch. “My bed.”

He stutters and quickly quiets his excited words, replacing his voice with a nod and a sharp inhale.

“Hah! Telling me to argue and instantly buckling the second I mention my bed.” You laugh, pulling yourself up and sauntering out of his view.

He stares at the ceiling for a moment, in a daze over just how much he likes you. He wonders, would you be shocked to know he hasn’t had sex in much longer compared to you? One and a half months for you? That’s nothing to him. He’s been besties with his right hand for at least six months by now. Trust him when he says that it truly was difficult to not turn into a hormonal idiot when he saw you in the shop that day. 

Finally, he shakes himself out of the spaced out horny brain staring at your ceiling and stands to his feet. He’s quick to adjust the bulge in his jeans, uncomfortably shaking his leg before looking toward where you walked off to.

“Um.” He stops realizing you were watching him, looking directly at the spot he just adjusted. “I mean,” He tries to start again, adjusting again as he feels it slowly move out from its tucked place. “Listen,”

“No, I get it.” You say, snickering at his embarrassment as if he somehow doesn’t know you were suggesting at least some foreplay by moving to your room.

“Of course you do,” He drops his head, now blatantly shoving his hands down his pants to adjust before looking back up and taking a step forward. “You’re the one who sat on me like that.”

“Please, I didn’t even sit on it.” 

“Didn’t need to.” He shrugs, now coming up to you and waiting for you to guide him through your space and into your room. 

Once the two of you get there, him not even attempting to hide that he is very aroused at this moment, you’re very quick to turn to face him once he comes inside. 

“We are on the same page, right?” You ask, looking at his lips and the way they still look so kissable. 

“As far as I know, with all things considered.” He responds, looking down at himself and how pathetic he must seem in getting so aroused by nothing more than a kiss and a position change. 

You smile, reaching for his hand and watching him tumble forward to you. Now standing mere inches in front of you. 

“Do you want to see it?” You ask, a cheeky smirk on your face as you turn away from him and run to your bedside table. 

He had no idea what the fuck you were referring to until he saw it. There, in all of its non-human glory. Jihoon tics his tongue, curiously straining his neck out to peek at what else is in your drawer as he walks closer. 

You make no attempt to close the drawer and instead pull out another one, and another one, another one.

“If you keep pulling out toys I’ll start to think you were lying in saying you wanted to feel something more, um–”

“Real?” You say, turning from your presented line-up of toys to look at him. 

He nods, gazing over the toys, four dildos all far bigger than he is. 

“I can admit that men can’t vibrate, nor do they have those little rotating beats but,” You chuckle at the conversation, scooping the toys up quicker than you laid them out and tossing them back into the drawer. “They’re not warm, or attached to someone that can kiss me. They’re also not witty.”

You study his expression.

“They don’t make me laugh before getting me off.” You continue, wondering if you may actually be too forward about this now. 

He’s rendered a bit speechless, which is rare for him in any given situation. He always has a quick response, not at this moment though as he looks at you. He wonders if you pity that obvious act of self-doubt upon seeing your toys. 

“They’re not attached to you.” You add, this time stifling your chuckle, because it’s a pretty funny conversation if you look at it from the outside but you can imagine he must be feeling some type of way to be so quiet.

He thinks hard about it, knowing damn well where this was leading and pushing for it himself. Hearing you now though, so confidently say these things, all doubt erases from his mind. 

“Before we do anything,” he starts, his shaky voice coming out more confident as he continues. “Is this just a hook-up to you or are you feeling the way I’m feeling right now?”

You look at him with a question in your eyes. He was kind of shocked that you didn’t finish for him this time, actually. 

“Like, you know if we do this, I’m going to be calling to take you out to dinner at some point unless you say you don’t want me to, right?”

You hadn’t thought of anything past him since you’ve gotten here. You didn’t think about anything more than hanging out with him, and now, kissing him, and maybe you know, feeling him. For some reason though, despite the lack of sex you’ve had lately, him saying that only arouses you more. It’s been so long since you’ve intended to sleep with someone and have them want to stick around after. Some of the people you’ve been with didn’t even ask for your number. Is this what adult relationships are actually like? 

“As in, you’d want to see where this goes in the–”

“Future, yes. I’m not just going to fuck you and pretend I didn’t when I see you again.”

Shockingly, that’s a first for you and you like the feeling it gives you. Plus, him implying that he’s about to, or very willing to, fuck you sends a wave of fondness through you.

“Alright. Let’s not call it a hook up then.” You say, the playful arousal from before stifling out at the idea of being intimate with someone who is making you aware that you’ll see him again, now being replaced with…feelings? Arousal with feelings?

“What should we call it?” 

“A date?” You say back immediately, sitting on your bed and finally closing your bedside drawer. 

“Oh, you fuck on the first date?” 

You laugh at how quickly his wit comes back, especially with the way he crowds up and stands in front of you. 

“With you? I guess I do.” You smile wide for him, feeling the tension bleed away and replace itself again with the arousal of him standing and looking down at you. 

“How did we not meet earlier?” He asks, leaning down a bit as if to kiss you.

“Fuck if I know, I bought all of those toys at your shop.”

“Ah, right. Nine in the morning on a Monday. I don’t usually work mornings.”

“Guess I got lucky last time then.”

“I guess you did.” He adds like a period to a sentence, finally kissing you again and making no effort to hide the fact that he’s attempting to lay you down much like you did to him before. 

You let him, falling back on your bed and feeling him nudge your legs to spread. Again, you let him, feeling your heart begin to race with excitement in the way he kisses you now versus how he did it earlier. 

There is clear intent behind it this time, as he positions himself between your legs. Your heart only races faster when one of his hands slides down your shoulder and he tangles his fingers with yours. It’s all very intimate to be coming from a man you officially met today, but you really do feel lucky. 

Lucky that he works two jobs, lucky that your family throws lame ass reunions every five years, lucky that you had your lights on during a sunny sunday afternoon, lucky that your battery died. 

It’s so normal already to smile into the kiss and feel giddy inside. Never have you smiled into a kiss save for laughing when a leg cramp happens mid-fuck. You can’t believe how much you’ve smiled and laughed today, and you can’t believe he’s making you react this way just by holding your fucking hand and kissing you this way. 

He laughs when you react though, probably feeling at ease on your bed with you under him, squeezing his fingers tightly each time he licks against your tongue. And when he pulls back to breathe, you just look at him and the way his fringe hangs. He looks so pretty at this angle, even when he’s moving slowly, even when his other hand remains planted beside your head to hold his weight from falling onto you. 

It’s not been since highschool that you’ve laid with someone simply making out, fully clothed, giggling. You’re unsure of how he’s pulled this out of you, because usually when a man is on top of you, you’re already trying to get his clothes off. But this? This is something that you want to last. You want it to be slower than a usual fuck, because you like when he’s here with you. Whether on top of you or not, there was a reason he’s stayed this late already and you already know it wasn’t solely to fuck you.

“Did you expect to be on top of me someday?” You ask between kisses, and he takes that as an invitation to laugh against your neck and tickle your cheek with his messy hair. 

“Expect it? No,” He starts, leaving a kiss just under your ear before lowering his lips to the collar of your shirt and kissing there too. “Hoped I could, though.” 

Your heart swells up at that. You realized he must have meant it when he admitted to having a small crush on you. Only now do you realize that curiosity that brought you back up to the food-table during the reunion may have been the start of a crush on your end too. 

You don’t say anything more after that and instead fall into the feeling of his lips kissing alone your collar. For some reason the sensation of his lips pushing the fabric out of the way so he can kiss new exposed skin makes you feel incredibly wanted. Maybe it’s the pace, or maybe it’s just because you really really like him, and want him to want you. 

“Do you want to take it off?” You ask after a few more of his kisses, wanting to control yourself but also very much wanting to feel his lips everywhere else too. 

You can feel him nod in the form of his hair tickling your cheek more. But he doesn’t move from that spot at first, continuing to kiss you the same way and in the same places. You let him, up until he finally sighs and pulls back. 

Looking at him now, even compared to a few moments ago, he looks so fucking pretty. His eyes are now soft, you can almost see the lines from where he’s smiled for you all day at the creases of them. His lips, looking more kissable than they did the past two times you thought they looked as kissable as they ever could. His eyebrows, showing no signs of tension.

You’re staring and you’re not intending to hide it. Even as he lifts your shirt from your waist and starts to pull it up. You barely budge as you stare, and stare, until you can’t because he’s trying to pull your shirt over you head.

“If you’d stop staring for two seconds maybe I could get this off of you, yeah?” He laughs, finally pulling it off when you arch your back and then prop yourself up slightly with your hands. “There.”

He sighs when he says it, going silent and almost frozen at the image of your nearly-naked torso. You watch him stare now, a smirk forming all too quickly.

“Now look who’s staring.” You chuckle, noting that his eyes still don’t leave the newly exposed skin or the fabric of your bra.

“Yeah, I am.” He admits, wetting his lower lip again and then flicking his eyes to you. “Am I not supposed to?”

Suddenly, that eye contact makes you feel shy. You’re more naked than he is, despite mostly being dressed still.

“You know,” you start, avoiding his intense eye contact just to get the words out. “If we just take all of our clothes off now, it would probably be easier.”

He lets out a breathy chuckle at you but nods, already lifting his shirt off and going for his zipper and button.

“There’s no rush, but if you’d prefer we do,” He scoots back and away from you, standing to his feet to shove his jeans down his legs. “I don’t mind.”

You watch him undress and lose all ability to act on your own for a solid thirty seconds before you finally start panic-shimming the rest of your clothing off. Save for bra and panties, and he, now standing there clad in only a pair of form-fitting briefs. 

You’re glad he isn’t as shy as you at this moment though, or rather, he appears to be entirely infatuated with your body and doesn’t look away from it for even a moment to feel embarrassed himself at standing on the side of your bed nearly nude. 

“No rush?” You ask, when he finally trails his eyes up to you and takes his position between your legs from earlier. Except now, you can see his biceps and the way they flex, now, you can feel the immense amount of warmth radiating from him. Now, his hair is even more of a mess.

“I can try,” He says quietly, balancing on on hand and lowering his lips to yours once more, trying to ignore how dangerously close his length is to bumping against your pussy. “No promises now, though.”

You laugh, wondering where he lost his self control within that short span of time where you got undressed. He cuts your laugh off mid-way though, now kissing you again and moving his hand up and down your waist. It tickles and causes goosebumps to form all over you, to the point that you can’t help but sigh into his kiss. 

He continues, still holding his hips back from grinding against you, kissing you as good as he can until trailing back to your neck again. 

It’s not until you run your fingers through his hair that he sighs himself. That relief and heavenly feeling of your fingers scraping the back of his neck— Such a simple touch can literally send him straight to hell at this point and he wouldn’t care a single bit as long as it’s from you and your hands. 

He lowers himself more, just to prevent his hips from intruding into this moment only to lock his lips onto the mound of your breast, other hand lowering so he can lay down and push your bra to the side a bit. 

The cold air that hits your nipple is short-lived when you feel him immediately suck it into his mouth with a deep breath. You continue to scratch through his hair, now using your other hand to nearly hug his head in place as you feel the sensations shoot straight between your legs. Each flick of his tongue sends signals to your brain to go! go! go! But much like him, you hold back, even though your legs still manage to squeeze his body between yours in an attempt to find the friction he isn’t yet offering. 

He continues this for a few minutes, and then works his fingers under the bra on the other side of your chest before switching his lips to that one. Perking them up so perfectly that he can graze his teeth against either nipple and feel your legs react to it. All of it is turning him on beyond belief, it’s dangerously attractive to him now too, to know that you have several toys that could have already gotten you off by now, but you choose this. You choose his lips playing with your tits, and your legs doing an amazing job of showing him your lack of control. 

His lips continue their work, up until he’s trailing further and further down, making your sighs hitch higher and higher in pitch. He kisses your ribs, just above your belly button, then just below your belly button before leaning back.

There, he looks directly at the seat of your panties and smiles at the wet spot there. He plants a kiss right there before climbing back up and caressing your cheek again. 

“You’re wet.” He comments in a huskier voice than he normally uses toward you, balancing yet again on his other arm.

Before you can actually respond, his hand on your cheek disappears and is instantly cupping your entire pussy.

You hitch out a sigh and look at him with a smile.

“Obviously.” You say back, rolling your eyes playfully before unintentionally bucking your hips into the pressure his palm offers against your clit. 

“Cute too.” He adds, lifting his palm to run his fingers up the wet spot on your panties before pressing in slightly. 

You can feel them stick to you uncomfortably, but it still feels so fucking good. Any amount of touching from him feels good though. 

“And you’re teasing me.” You argue, looking away from his playful smirk as he plays with the wet fabric against his fingers. 

“Just ask. I’m not teasing you if you're not telling me what you want.” 

You shoot your eyes back to him, a mixture of curiosity and shock in your eyes. It’s true though, you are a little shocked. Most men really just do what they want, and so do you. Never have you been asked what you want. 

Your eyes trail down as far as they can, what his hand is doing is mostly hidden between your legs but you focus entirely on the way his arms flex as his fingers travel up and down your panties. 

“You want me to ask?” You question, hips bucking up again unintentionally. 

“Not so much ask, but like, tell me what you want.”

He nods to himself as he says it, licking his bottom lip and pressing the fabric of your panties in yet again. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want to do what he wants right now though, definitely not. He just figures you know your body far better than he does, and he’d rather not make assumptions and embarrass himself when you could just ask him or better, guide him. Who is he to assume you want his fingers right now anyway?

“I’ve never…” You start, swallowing your words as your brain goes back to focusing on his fingers momentarily. “I haven’t–”

He knows what you’re trying to say, so he attempts to make it a bit easier for you. 

“Do you want me to pull your panties to the side?” 

You sigh with a nod, looking at him and allowing him to guide you through telling him what you want.

“Do you want me to touch you?” 

You nod again, pushing your head back against the mattress out of frustration that you, for some reason, can’t find the confidence to just tell him. 

He listens to your body though, more than your weak nods and frustrated sighs. The way your legs shake when he asks, the way you react to the air hitting your folds when he does push your panties to the side. He can’t bare to look down yet though, because he knows for a fact that if he were to pull back and look at you in full, he’d no longer be asking you what you want. He’d be embarrassing for sure. 

You can feel his fingers now sliding through your folds though, bare pussy out and on display but not yet being looked at, only being felt. And arguably, all you can do right now is feel too, as he leans forward to kiss you in this silent moment. 

His fingers continue to explore as he kisses you, collecting all of your arousal and swirling it around your clit before sliding back down and prodding at your entrance. You make a sound at that, kissing his a little harder than before when he lets out a hum.

“Hm?” He hums against your lips, and you nod to him. 

There, he dips a finger in only slightly. Your arms reach around his neck at the feeling and pull him closer to you. To the point that you can feel him struggle to angle his hands right to slide in deeper, but you pay no mind to it. At least not until you kiss the fucking daylights out of him.

That, you do. Kissing him with full-force and making a show of how turned on you are for him. He feels it though, with or without your kiss bruising him. The wetness on the tip of his finger only becomes wetter, and when you release your grip around his neck, he still doesn’t leave the kiss.

He goes back to gently kissing you, focusing more on your fingers than what his tongue is doing. He slides that same finger in all the way now, feeling your walls clench almost instantly and beg for more. Chuckling at the feeling, he fucks his finger into you experimentally before pulling them out and adjusting two fingers at your entrance. 

“Hm?” He hums again, and you nod again.

So, two fingers slide in and you’re releasing a soft moan against his lips. Already out of breath from focusing so hard on how he feels when he touches you. Your lips fall slack just to catch that lost breath, and he doesn’t argue, going right back to that spot on your neck to kiss as he picks up rhythm with his fingers. Effectively fucking you open with them. 

You hate to say you didn’t pay much attention to his hands until now. Having not noticed how deep just those two digits reach inside of you, and good fucking lord does he know how to use them too. Curling them up at just the right moment to have you legs shaking. 

Never have your legs fucking shook for a man. This only happens with the g-spot stimulating toys. God, you open your eyes to look at the ceiling in thought, and it has you wondering if he even knows he’s doing it. 

“Keep doing that–” you urge him, and he hums at you finally at least trying to tell him what you want. 

He finally lifts from your neck to look at you, now placing his weight back on that one free arm that had been toying with the ends of your hair this entire time, and he’s fucking floored. Even if he pictured you before with those toys, none of those images came close to this. And it’s just his fingers? No where near the size of your toys, no where near as expensive, or warm…or alive.

Oh. You want to feel someone who wants you. 

“I’ll do anything you want.” He says, doing exactly as you asked except a little faster now, still hitting that spot inside of you so perfectly that you’re moaning out now. 

He tunes in entirely to the sounds you’re making, the faces you’re making, and the way your pussy clenches around just those two fingers. He is aching at this point, pulling back from hovering over you to sit now between your legs, fingers still keeping pace, and sliding his other hand down his briefs. 

You don’t notice at first, too enthralled by the feeling of his curling fingers inside of you, but when you do–

“God,” You moan, rolling your eyes at the image of him out of breath, both hands working to pleasure both of you. “Come here.”

He listens, already pulling his hand away from himself but keeping his fingers in you, in a daze as he takes his original position of hovering over you.

“No, I mean, come here.” You say, looking at him as you reach between your bodies and pull his fingers out of you, then reach to grab between his legs. 

He immediately moans at the feeling, his hips pressing harshly into your grip with a whine as he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes just to feel it. 

“Take it out?” You continue, slowly becoming more and more comfortable telling him what you want. 

Just watching him do what you ask is insanely hot. The way he pulls his cock out seems so natural to him, you suddenly imagine what he must look like all alone while getting himself off. Thankfully though, he’s not all alone right now, he’s with you, and you intend to be getting him off. 

You look at him, between his legs, and then back at him once more before grabbing it again and practically pulling his hips to you by the cock. He groans all the same at it though, and only holds his breath when he feels your legs spread further and essentially press his cock between your folds and hold it there from the head. 

“Grind.” You say, still holding your hand in place to keep the pressure against him, which also puts pressure against your clit when he does grind up.

You both shiver at it, and he still looks down at you, fucking smiling through his sighs of relief regarding the new sensations you’re offering. 

“You’re actually fucking perfect.” He compliments, fucking his hips up and coating his cock with the dripping of your core. 

Out of everything he’s ever said to you up to this point, out of everything he’s fucking done to you, that’s the one thing that has you spiralling into a world of fucking fire. It makes you feel so warm, especially with the head of his cock bumping your clit. He has barely gotten any friction and he is still calling you perfect? Sign you the fuck up, forever, actually. 

“Don’t be stupid,” You start, waving him off between moans and gripping his shoulders.

He grinds up harder at your words though, now propping himself up on his elbows and grabbing your face on both sides. 

“You, don’t be stupid.” He says clearly, pointing his thrusts directly at your clit and moaning only slightly as he looks at you.

You swear, at that moment he could see your entire life. Everything about you. Everything you love and hate. The way he doesn’t look through you but at you? 

“You’re actually insane.” You laugh, crumbling to his pointed gaze and thrusts, your legs automatically shooting up to wrap around his waist. 

He seems proud of being called insane right now. Mostly because he can come up with at least fifty reasons as to why this is anything but insanity, but he remains quiet at the feeling of your legs squeezing around him. 

Such a girl was looking for mundane sex toys to have normal sex with? Lucky you, this is his fucking favorite. Plain ‘ol missionary? Check. Legs squeezing around him, almost pulling him in? Check. Looking directly at the face of the person he wants to make feel good? Check. 

You barely notice his lack of control by this point, the closeness alone feels like you’re already having sex but you realize you’re entirely empty still. This is fine though, until it’s not.

When does it not become fine? When his confident moans turn to soft sighs, and you notice his arms shaking a bit to hold his weight above you, and when his eyes go dead staring at you. You can tell he’s focused entirely on the feeling between the two of you, doing nothing more than aggressive yet…weak grinds? 

“Jihoon,” You say, slightly out of breath. 

“Hm?” He responds half-heartedly, releasing his weight from one elbow and dropping his head between your neck and shoulder.

“Fuck me.”

It’s like you can feel the switch in his head go from losing sanity to gaining it back in an instant at those words. He felt like he was pleasuring himself against you for so long, with so much friction between your hand and his abdomen consistently pressing into it. He could have come from this, if you wanted him to anyway. It would have been an intense orgasm after working up for so long, but now? 

He doesn’t even say anything, he doesn’t even move his head from between your neck and shoulder. Instead, you feel him expertly adjust his hips and press in without much trouble. He finds exactly where he belongs so fucking fast that is has you spinning and clenching immediately. 

“Fuck,” He drones out with a long sigh, slowly sinking his cock into you. “You’re throbbing.” 

You chuckle, because yeah. You definitely are, but so is he. You can feel his thick length spreading you open inch by inch, until he’s fully planted into and twitching. Then he doesn’t move again.

“This alone could do me in,” He chuckles against your neck, breathing in a deep sigh and attaching his teeth to your lower ear lobe. “Honestly, I can't believe I didn’t already come just from having my fingers in you.”

You’re both flattered and shocked by this comment, before you can even think to respond he’s talking again.

“You’re so tight, so wet.” He soothes himself through the feeling of your walls clenching around him, not yet wanting to move and just wanting to feel what your body does to him on its own. “It’s so hard not to move right now.

“Please,” You manage to get out, struggling to focus on just one thing with the way he’s talking and the way he sits so perfectly inside of you. “Please, move.”

And he does, instantly. Pulling out and sliding back in so easily that the slapping sound is muted entirely by the matching moan you both release. You can feel his voice vibrating against your neck, and you can imagine he might be able to feel yours through your literal pussy, because it feels like every sound, touch, and sensation is sent straight there for him to enjoy. 

It doesn’t stop either. Both of you shamelessly moaning at the feeling of him snapping his hips into you at perfect speed, with a perfect voice, and a perfect hand moving up to grip your chest. 

He’s practically blanketing you with his body, your legs holding him in this spot, his hair still finding a way to tickle your cheek with each thrust in. It’s so fucking much. It’s so good, and so…comfortable.

You’re comfortable. So comfortable you don’t even feel the need to rub your clit, you don’t want to chase the orgasm, you just want to feel him. And apparently, so does he. 

When he lifts his head, kissing the bottom of your chin and then your lower lip, still the two of you are groaning at each deep thrust in, but he manages to talk through it, somehow.

“Don’t stop,” he says, despite you barely doing anything. “Keep doing that.” He continues as his thrusts pick up pace. 

Only now do you realize that you were doing something. Without noticing, your hands were nearly tearing his back apart. Not literally, but your nails may have dug in a few times. Normally, once you notice doing that, you would stop because normally men don’t want the trace of another woman on him. Jihoon though, he’s in love with seeing remnants of you tomorrow.

Obsessed with the sting of it, loving the idea of going to his night-job tomorrow and staring at all of the toys that don’t offer you a back to hold onto like this. 

You do as he asks much like he does for you, gripping him so tightly that your nails have no choice but to leave half-moon shapes on his skin. Each thrust drags your fingers up, down, up down, and with each thrust it somehow feels deeper, harder, hotter.

When he releases your chest from his other hand and puts it back to your cheek, caressing much like he has each time he’s focused on kissing you, you think you’re a fucking goner. 

As expected, he kisses you at that moment and thrusts once, hard, before holding himself there.

“I’m really close,” He whispers apologetically between kisses, “tell me how to get you there with me.”

You smile when he kisses you again instead of letting you answer, but you fall into it much like he does and you opt to grab that hand on your cheek and guide it to your clit. 

Instantly, he’s rubbing harsh and sloppy circles around it, and you reward him for the perfect work of his fingers yet again with your fingernails digging into his back. He softly moans at that, and you swallow it up all too easily. 

Tensing your muscles, his fingers on your clit work you up so quickly that you go barely warn him of your oncoming orgasm, even as his cock sits leaking and heavy inside of you. You don’t even know how to tell him, all you can do is frantically moan out shortly.

“I’m–” 

Instantly his hips are back at work, barely even thrusting but instead remaining buried into you for the most part. He pulls out an inch and slams back in, wanting your orgasm to get him off more than his own movements. And fuck, it does.

The way you clench when you reach your high, slack lips against his own, he releases at what he could argue is the best possible time. Your tenses muscles work him up perfectly, gently massaging his cock as he releases in full without too much overstimulation. 

And you. You have never gotten off with a man staying mostly still inside of you. Actually, you’ve only gotten off that way with toys because nothing beats getting off while completely filly. Jihoon really is something, or, someone. 

The two of you released together, and his lips fell slack just like yours did. The kissing turned to that of desperate, orgasm-fogged moans into the other’s mouth. For some reason, it was incredibly hot to you that you both reacted that way. So insanely drunk on the other that nothing felt embarrassing.

Even the way his fingers moved on your clit through your orgasm, he somehow knew when to go and when to stop. 

Even now, as your orgasm tapers off, you are so blissfully aware that you want to immediately fall asleep even with him inside of you. Jihoon is polite though, and gently pulls out with a small apology of the mess. 

When he looks at you, looking so sleepy under him, maybe it translates to him too and he instantly yawns but tries to be strong for both of you.

“We should clean up.”

~

There wasn’t even a question in your head when he slept over that night. He didn’t even hint at leaving. Nor did he hint the morning after as you groggily opened your computer for your daily work. 

He did hint that he would miss you when he eventually had to go to his own house and get ready for a day at the sex-shop. 

He also hinted a few times at feeling like, when he looked at you, you weren’t a brand new person in his life. Part of you wonders if that’s because maybe you want to be permanent in his life from now on.

Later that night, he came back. Bright eyes and a stinging back.

For some reason, you feel it’s safe to say that neither of you can stand being apart for too long. So yeah, maybe this is what a normal relationship is like. If, you know, you were in a relationship with him.

Ironically enough, only a few days later that relationship is established in the form of a new car battery and a bottle of lube that he bought for you. 

Not that you need it. (The lube.)

#woozi smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #jihoon smut #lee jihoon smut #lee woozi smut

[mrpsychokiller]

i honestly do think theres a middle man you can get at where both "its good that dungeon meshi doesn't rely on a lot of sexualization tropes used in anime/manga which are often used to objectify and hypersexualize female characters, specially young or young looking ones" and "dungeon meshi IS very horny and theres nothing inherently wrong with a piece of media, including anime and manga, being sexual in nature" are true statements.

just like generally "its okay to think anime women are hot and think fanservice is hot" and "a lot of fanservice of anime characters is objectifying/sexualizes underage characters/sexualizes sexual assault etc. in pretty nasty ways" are both true.

like you get me. its great that falin has huge titties out in her chimera form and its great if you like that. but also i understand where "the senshi panty shots are protecting the women of gratuitous fanservice" statements are coming from because panty shots are most often used alll the time to sexualize female characters. dungeon meshi is hot AND i think its great that the character whos old but looks young is chilchuck and not a little loli fairy, and that the catgirl isnt sexualized considering she's a minor, and that the female characters are allowed emotional depth regardless of how sexy they are. does that make sense. if anything i want more anime to be hornier but in the way dunmeshi is, in a way that doesn't need 16 year old school girls to be hot and instead has tridimensional and complex adult women with variety in body types. we need more women making manga is my conclusion

#im really trying to word how i feel about this whole discussion i hope i succeed in letting my point across #🧃

[thehivecorporation]

Welcome to the Bimbo Tank!

This is where we train our bimbos. Bimbofication is a very delicate process. Of course, any gender can be a bimbo. We just need to make sure you're both happy and stupid. And just a little bit of a ditz. We're assigning you Bimbo 423 as your mentor.

You don't need a mentor to be stupid? Oh, you poor thing, you absolutely do. You still think! You think you don't need a mentor. It's best to let us do the thinking.

What will happen? That's easy. Bimbo 423 will be by your side before you're allowed to socialize with the rest of the dummies. They're a bit too stupid for you right now. Don't worry, you'll be stupid like them in no time.

This is your room. See, it's a cozy room filled with pillows, a closet full of your new outfits, a nice little computer with spirals and some lovely hypnotic games. There's a large variety of toys as well for you and Bimbo 423. We're going to be pumping some gas in here as well. It'll make it harder to think.

Can't escape now, we've locked the door.

Bimbo 423 will guide you through this process, don't worry. They're very enthusiastic about brainwashing. They're going to show you exactly how you should be happy about serving someone else. How to deep throat a cock and strap. How to please a wet cunt. How to tease and how to react when someone rougher might come along. Then it'll be your turn.

The correct response to someone using you, by the way, is an enthusiastic "thank you, more" because you're going to be stupid from sex.

Now, please remember. Bimbo 423 is a ditz. They don't know big words. You're going to have to use smaller words for them. Soon enough you'll be talking like the cute ditzy bimbo in no time.

What's wrong? Oh, Bimbo 423? Body modification is within our skill set. We could make anything bigger and more sensitive. Impressive, aren't they? We work under the "if you're too dumb to understand body physics, they won't work."

It works surprisingly well for body modifications. We're able to give giant titties, massive cocks, cunts that are far more sensitive than normal. Sometimes all three on one bimbo.

Now, we must go. Enjoy getting fucked three times a day and edged even more, becoming a sex happy slut, and enjoy Bimbo 423.

#hypnosis #the hive corporation #hypnosub #hypnoslut

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 2

Geralt 'hmm'ed distractedly as he watched the tv. He was vaguely aware that Jaskier was talking, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Jaskier was always talking, or singing, or making some kind of noise.

Geralt blinked as something Jaskier had said brought itself to his attention. It had been something about his mouth, and balls.

"Hm?"

"I said 'How many cheeseballs do you think I could fit in my mouth?'"

Geralt shrugged, "I don't know, one? They are pretty big."

"That's what she said!" Jaskier said almost automatically, then contiued, "Not the actual ball of cheese ones, I mean the little crunchy snack ones that come in the barrel."

"I don't know, three? Four?"

"How many do you think you could fit in your mouth?"

Geralt shrugged. They looked at each other for a moment, then Geralt said, "I'll get the keys."

One quick trip to the grocery store later, and they were sitting on the couch, shoving cheeseballs into their mouths and grunting muffled numbers at each other

"What the f**k?" Yennefer asked, having walked in to see them covered in orange cheese dust, and looking like chipmunks getting ready for winter. They made grunting and mumbling noises at her, excitedly trying to sign numbers at her.

"Never mind, I don't want to know."

From then, it became a sort of competition. Geralt and Jaskier would see a small food item and try to see how many they could fit in their mouths.

Yennefer walked by the kitchen one morning to see Geralt and Jaskier standing at the table, a variety of small food items arranged before them. She didn't even try to entertain the idea that they were being considerate enough to make lunch.

Neither of them could cook a decent meal to begin with. They regularly sent Yennefer photos of their failed endeavors. Broken dishes, melted kitchenware, shattered knives, food on the ceiling, food on fire... She's seen it all.

No, this was not an attempt at a meal. The foods laid out on the table were too small, and while they had the odd vegetable and fruit sprinkled in, they were mostly junk foods like chips, candies and other sweets.

It was some kind of stupid game, Yennefer knew. She could tell by the score card and how Geralt was carefully counting out loud as Jaskier stuffed blueberries into his mouth, which didn't look like it had room for much more.

Yennefer poked her head in the doorway, said "Dookie!" then walked away as Jaskier spat his mouthful of blueberries all over the floor and wailed in dismay.

They had to try to either play the game while Yennefer was out, or play in secret. It was exceedingly difficult to play if Yennefer was around because she would sneak up on them and yell random things that would make one of them spit their food out.

"Bumhole!"

"When his pickle tickles the back of your throat!"

"Mud cupboard!"

"Starting out small with the ball gargling training?"

"Butt nuggets!"

"Stink wrinkle!"

"Beef hula hoop!""

"Titties!"

"Bum fluff!"

"Hershey squirts!"

P*ss flaps!"

"You going to spit or swallow?

"Peepity poo!"

"Dirt star!"

It was almost always Jaskier who ended up spitting everyting out and almost choking.

So now they were out on the back porch, trying to be really quiet, which wasn't at all suspicious, while they tried to see how many twinkies each of them could fit in their mouth

Yennefer happened to walk by and see them. Jaskier and Geralt both had their mouths stuffed to where they almost couldn't close them. It was equal parts disgusing and humorus.

Jaskier was right in the middle of using both hands to cram one more twinkie into his mouth. Yennefer could not stop herself.

She paused at the door and asked, "Did Geralt fill that twinkie for you?"

Jaskier immediately started giggling, and fumbled, trying to catch the bits of mushy twinkie that fell out of his mouth. Then he tried to stuff them back in while making incoherent noises, which, judging by the tone, were strings of cuss words.

The sight made Geralt laugh, and with his mouth full of snack cake, he'd sounded like a barking seal.

Jaskier lost it. He gagged his twinkies onto the porch and laughed so hard he wheezed.

Geralt laughed even harder, which made Jaskier laugh more.

The bard went to grab the edge of the small table to support himself, and slipped in the twinkie mush, landing right in it. Geralt just gave up and dropped on the ground, barking around his mouthful of sponge cakes.

Geralt: *seal noises*

"A-a seeeeaal! A f***ing...sEAl!" Jaskier guffawed.

They laughed until their sides ached and Geralt finally got smart and spat the massive hunk of twinkies out.

It was hours later before either of them remembered that Yennefer had f**ked up their count, and even after they did remember, all they could think about was Geralt's stupid Seal Laugh.

#the witcher #the witcher headcanon #the witcher modern au #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #geraskier #geraskifer #geraskefer #yenskier #yennskier #yennaskier #yenneskier #error 404 brain not found headcanon #error 404 headcanon #brain not found headcanon

[valeskafics]

Bel babe I've spent all day in classes and studying where is my cling hot boyfriend with a horse cock who calls me Mommy? Can't a girl come home and get her titties sucked on?

Bestie this would work for such a wide variety of our boys 😭😭😭

I’m sending you big hugs and smooches you got this 🩷🩷🩷😭

#ask #moots 🩷

[galadae]

8, 15, +17?

thanks gigi 💗 I heard your food wasn't salty enough so I hope this helps!!

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

okay buckle up akdbkd Idk if it's common across fandom bc he's not super popular but I've seen it enough times to wonder where it came from. And perhaps I am misunderstanding the trope. But I don't think I am. So please I just want someone to explain... how Hien is a himbo. He can be fanciful and maybe a little silly at times, but it doesn't mean he's always head empty! He's still young, he should be at the club if not for the horrors! He's had to play 5d political chess with unlikely and volatile allies and yet some people think he's a clueless idiot and I'm just. so confused how they came to this conclusion. Has he always made the best decision for everyone in every situation? No, but not because he was clueless. At most he might have a himbo moment or two, but how is that his entire personality? I'm sure he'd like to not have to think about anything because he has so much to deal with all the damn time, but that's not the same! But seems to be a popular interpretation (well, as popular as Hien gets, which isn't much.) People are just blinded by Arm I guess. Thanks for coming to my salty Ted Talk!

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I'm by no means saying people can't be thirsty. I'm thirsty too. And boobs are great. But I am a balloon titty hater 😭 this isn't specific to ffxiv but I feel like if people are gonna draw pinups of characters I like when they clearly have skill and thorough knowledge of anatomy, that maybe the tits should look like real tits instead of orbs glued onto a body.

To anyone who genuinely enjoys balloon titties, no shade, you can like what you want. Just don't show me the art akbfkdjf

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I mean. I would love more variety in terms of what characters get focus? This is partly selfish ofc 😂 but I love when I see art about specific side quests or little job quest moments, or lesser known npcs. I just think more character variety is good in general!

also, bc I feel the need to be positive too akdbkdkd I absolutely love hyper specific headcanon art even if I don't always understand it. Just the fact that people put that much work into it is inspiring. Give me more of that!

#choose violence asks #replies #hythlodaes

[yautjalover]

My Yautja Head Canons

I’ve been putting this off because I know my head canons are a bit different than most of what I’ve seen on here. My brain is weird and so therefor my head canons will be…odd. I’m certain this may get flack but oh fucking well. It’s my head canon and if you get mad, log off and go whine to someone else who cares. 😂

1. Yautja females have boobs, but like humans, they come in a variety of shapes and sizes! This includes their bodies. Females being larger isn’t the universal standard, though they are sometimes bigger than the males. They have breasts all the time, even when not with a pup.

2. Their society isn’t a Matriarchy but more of a balanced society with a council of Ancients ruling the home world and heading their species. Matriarchy was mentioned in one book, therefore it’s not hard canon and I don’t abide by it. I prefer the shared responsibility between the two sexes. It’s actually equal and there isn’t any sexism in such a thing.

3. Taking a life-mate is rare and a ceremony and celebration is thrown together for the couple. It’s pretty much getting drunk around a bonfire and indulging in bountiful buffets. This is followed by lots of sex between the new life-mates.

4. They have a keen sense of fashion and looking well kept. In the Hunt this isn’t as important, but in day to day life they like to look clean and presentable. Yautja apply oils to their locs to make them shine and keep the skin healthy at the roots. I like to think of their fashion as being similar to native African style clothing; perfectly suitable for the warm climates Yautja prefer.

5. Nudity is fine and accepted. They are comfortable with their bodies, not wanting to miss a chance to show off scars and the physique they’ve acquired through their hunting lifestyle. This goes for females feeding their pups. Popping a titty out to feed their child brings none of the bullshit that it does on Earth.

6. Money is present but not important with trade being the common currency. They can acquire large sums of money but they don’t see much use for it apart from it just being a relic of the past.

7. Yautja are basically giant therapsid cats. They purr and rub their foreheads together to show affection. Gently brushing mandibles along another’s signifies intimacy and affection. Licking and nibbling another’s neck also has the same implication.

8. When they’re mated, the equivalent of a boyfriend or girlfriend, they’re monogamous during that relationship. Sharing partners is vary rare among Yautja as they’re naturally territorial.

9. Homosexuality is accepted. It’s not unlikely to find males partnering up with one another on long hunts for companionship and to scratch that proverbial itch. This doesn’t mean that they’re all gay, but bisexuality is prevalent among the male sex. Trans Yautja exist but it’s pretty rare. When there is a trans Yautja, they’re accepted.

10. Yautja don’t have sheaths. It’s commonly liked that Yautja are seen to have them based off of that model for AVP that was never put in the movie. I think it’d be funny for them to call themselves the perfect being but nature didn’t bother to have them evolve with hidden genitalia. It’s just out there, like a human’s, though their penises have ridges and bumps to make sex pleasurable.

11. They can mimic the difficult sounds to speak English perfectly, though they do still have a deep voice. Their voices tend to be gravelly and rough when speaking in non-native tongues.

12. Yautja see humans are primitive but with a lot of potential. They dislike their dishonorable actions, but they do like to watch the progress. Having watched us go from mud huts to colonizing other planets has been a fun past time for them. Unlike a weird sentiment, I see them above killing machines and capable of complex thoughts and emotions, so they tend to have mixed opinions on humans but not outright hatred. Of course, there are those that hate humans, but they have their own individual reasons.

13. Interspecies relationships are in the minority but there is a curiosity among the Yautja of how it’s like to bed a human or other alien. Every species has its outliers. 😏

Art by me showing an example of Yautja fashion.

#yautjalover #yautja #predator #yautja headcanon #head canons #avp #alien #alien vs predator

[shoheiakagi]

For those dirty asks

Shohei- D, K, L, Q, T, V, Y and Z

Chitose- J, K, P, Q, T, V, Y and Z

Dewa- B, K, L, Q, T, W, Y and Z

Maria- I, K, O, Q, T, Y and Z

Thank you for stating you accept ask for my girl Maria- redlovesashes ✌

maria is life, maria is love @redloveashes

this was a long one 😅

send me asks!

Shohei:

D - Dominance (do they prefer to dominate, or be dominated? do they have experience as a Dom? Do they have a Dom that they trust already? What kind of things do they enjoy as/with their Dominant partner?)

He prefers to be in charge during sex, but doesn’t mind letting his partner ride him. Shohei’s more of a soft dom, who enjoys tying up and blindfolding his partner.

K - Kissing (what parts of their body do they like having kissed? what parts of their partner do they enjoy kissing? do they like leaving marks / having marks left on them?)

Shohei is obsessed with his partner’s small waist, always pressing kisses against their stomach and dipping his tongue in their belly button. He loves to leave marks behind on his partner’s neck, stomach, and sometimes even thighs. But when it comes to himself, he gets weak with neck kisses. Even if its a gentle kiss pressed against the nape of his neck, his face starts getting red and he ends up stumbling over his words.

L - Lighting (are the lights on? off? do they have some kind of mood lighting set up?)

He likes having a dimly lit night lamp around so that he can see his partner, but without the light being super bright and saturated. He actually finds it a little romantic that way, especially when his partner look even more beautiful under the golden lighting.

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

Shohei doesn’t really care much about how loud or quiet his partner is as long as they keep calling out his name

T - Top or bottom (self explanatory…)

Listen. I know in the very few banshou content out there, he’s portrayed as the bottom. And i’m here to tell you how wrong that is. I feel like bandou is made to be the designated top bc he’s the taller one with dark hair (apparently those are some yaoi stereotypes), but that man radiates bottom energy (even if he’s with a woman). But with that being said, i do think shohei is a verse who leans more towards topping

V - Voyeurism (do they like to watch, or are they more hands on? are they more of an exhibitionist?)

Shohei is impatient; he was never the type to sit still. So even though he really enjoys the show his partner is putting on for him, he can’t help but interrupt and take over

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

He likes to be called daddy 😏 His pet names for his partner range from babe, pretty thing, sweetheart, etc.

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)

Stealing this from @ciaossu-imagines but one of Shohei’s erogenous zones is his v-line, especially when you kiss or gently rake your fingers along his skin.

Chitose:

J - Jelly (what kind of lube are they using? is it flavored? have they tasted it? do they prefer to use something other than real lube during sex?)

He rarely uses lube unless he’s doing anal. The few times he does use lube, he prefers using the mint flavored variety

K - Kissing (what parts of their body do they like having kissed? what parts of their partner do they enjoy kissing? do they like leaving marks / having marks left on them?)

Chitose loves a good pair of titties to suck on, especially the large and plump ones. He always makes sure to leave his marks behind, the skin left in dark shades of red and purple. He’s okay with his partner leaving behind a couple of hickeys on his neck, as long as they don’t overdo it.

P - Photography (are cameras allowed in the bedroom? do they send nudes? do they ask for nudes? would they ever record themselves having sex / being caught up in a sexual act?)

You know Chitose has a gallery of nudes saved in his photo album of all the people he’s been with. Doesn’t matter how new the relationship (or situationship) is, he is not shy when it comes to asking them for nudes or masturbation videos. Chitose has no problem sending his own nudes either, proudly showing off his abs and dick.

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

Chitose would never be the type to yell or loudly moan in the bedroom. A few grunts and curses is the best you’ll get from him. Ironically, he doesn’t want his partner to be on the quiet side. He wants someone who has no shame screaming out his name. Someone who’s crying and begging him for their release.

T - Top or bottom (self explanatory…)

He’s a verse who leans towards topping

V - Voyeurism (do they like to watch, or are they more hands on? are they more of an exhibitionist?)

Let’s be real, with the way this guy whores himself around, he was def caught fucking in public once or twice. And he’s not ashamed to brag about it to the other hmr guys either

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

Chitose is actually on the fence about whether he likes being called ‘daddy’ by his partner, but he does know that being called ‘master’ during roleplay does things to him. Dangerous things that keep him going at it like an untamable beast the whole night.

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)

A lot of his partners are aware of this, but Chitose’s nipples are extremely sensitive. The very few people who know this fact about it, use it to their advantage by mercilessly twisting or sucking on his nipples.

Dewa:

B - Bondage (do they like it? do they not? do they prefer to be the one being tied or the one doing the tying?)

Dewa is a big fan of bondage. Other than fashion purposes, he’s always wearing a tie bc it comes in handy when he wants to tie his partners wrists together. However, he prefers to be the type to tie his partner up, since he doesn’t like the feeling of vulnerability that comes with being tied up.

K - Kissing (what parts of their body do they like having kissed? what parts of their partner do they enjoy kissing? do they like leaving marks / having marks left on them?)

I’m not going to lie, but I do see Dewa being bit of an old soul when it comes to romance. He likes to grab his partner’s hand before placing a warm kiss either on their knuckles or the inside of their wrist.

L - Lighting (are the lights on? off? do they have some kind of mood lighting set up?)

Idk why but Dewa strikes to me as a ‘lights on’ type of guy. Like turning the light off is his least priority when it comes to fucking his partner. It also helps that he gets to see his partner’s face more clearly with the lights on

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

He doesn’t really care if theyre loud or soft-spoken, as long as theyre having a good time. Dewa’s not one to make that much noise either tbh

W - Water (pool sex? bath / shower sex? are they into watersports at all?)

One of Dewa’s favorite places to have sex outside of the bedroom is the bathroom. Whether it’s his partner riding him while he’s sitting on the bathtub, or him pounding them against the wall under the shower spray.

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

Dewa has a handful of names he liked to be referred to as during sex: daddy, sir, master, sensei, senpai, etc. Basically any honorific/nick name that gives him power over his partner.

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)

His earlobe and collarbones

Maria:

I - Impact play (here’s where talking about things like spanking, paddles, canes, floggers and the like.)

Maria definitely uses a whip to spank her partner when theyre misbehaving. She also doesn’t mind being spanked here and there

K - Kissing (what parts of their body do they like having kissed? what parts of their partner do they enjoy kissing? do they like leaving marks / having marks left on them?)

Her favorite kisses are the wild and nasty ones where she’s spitting into their mouth and shoving her tongue down their throat

O - Outdoor sex (have they ever done it in public? would they? where?)

Her and Chitose definitely fucked in the dingy bar bathroom before she took him over to her apartment, so its safe to say that she has no problem having sex in public spaces (as long as there are no minors around)

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

She likes it loud and rough all the time. Like Chitose, she doesn’t want a partner who’s all softly moaning. Nope, they gotta scream out her name and tug on her hair to really prove that they’re enjoying it

T - Top or bottom (self explanatory…)

This woman radiates top energy. If she’s with a woman, she’s definitely pulling out the strap. If she’s with a guy, she refuses to lie down on her back. And I’m not gonna lie, but I can see Maria pegging some guys

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

idk why but i have a feeling that Maria has a mommy kink. she’s the type to grab a fistful of her partner’s hair and push their head between her legs, and mockingly coo at how good theyre being for mommy

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)

her neck! a kiss to her neck (or even stroking her neck with your hand), will get her aroused

#ask #ask game #redloveashes #i dont think this is that good so sorry if this sucks 😞 #but on the bright side #im glad i was able to finish this up in less than 2 days

[penroseparticle]

1, 2?

Unironically I knew you would ask me the two best questions on this whole damn list, thank you Izzy for being the GOAT.

Song of the year? God what songs even came out this year. I don't think this year was a year where new music happened for me. (One of the biggest hits this year was... Fast Car. Do you remember that??? What???) I'm a little tempted to say Fast Car, but that's cheating on Ms. Tracy Chapman, who is unimpeachably the best version of the song (And wouldn't it kind of suck if the song of the year was just. An inarguably well done but ultimately less meaningful rendition of a song from like 45 years ago) If I can pick songs that I encountered this year but didn't come out this year, I could go on for a while. Lonely by Jamila Woods, All My Girls Like To Fight by Hope Tala, Get Down by Woozy. I think Van Gogh by Mette is great but not the song of the year for me, certainly. Rush by Troye Sivvy? It's more honest but doesn't feel right to me totally. Is It New Years Yet has new toy syndrome, AND it's a holiday song, AND it's a Sabrina Carpenter song that complains about overplayed music. Like. Self aware much? And also means it can kick rocks because that is NOT song of the year material. But I like music with a groovy influence, I'm a little corny, and I can't lie about this kinda thing. I categorically refuse to put Build a Boat on my top anything list, regardless of Spotify telling lies about my listening habits. (This is me lying about this kinda thing). I don't want to repeat a year in review song, either, which kinda makes this harder. I guess I gotta give it to You Wish by Flyana Boss, because it's the only song that's not 1. on my year end list, or 2. a song that had a reservation/caveat/well, actually attached to it.

Album of the year? My two top albums of this year were Something To Give Each Other and Jaguar II, but I have to give it up to Victoria Monet honestly- I didn't take to a piece of music this fast since when I saw Young Empires open for Reptar and fell in love on the first song of the set. I listened to Smoke and I was hooked- maybe it's the drug culture references but joyful and openly honest, maybe it's the slick production and variety on the album, maybe it's that it's not afraid to be goofy as hell ("I'm so deep in my bag, like a grandma with a peppermint" is quite possibly an all timer goofy lyric that still hits the right timber for the braggadocio it's placed as in the song, "It's a bisexual blunt it can go both ways" is just. so fuckin stupid, I love it.), maybe it's the features (Lucky Daye? EARTH WIND AND FIRE???), maybe it's the touch of old hollywood glamour at the end and the clear love of motown sensibilities juxtaposed with her talking about her 4K titties. I don't know man, it just rewired my brain but in a good way. More than that, Victoria made me cognizant of her in the stuff I already liked. Like. She has writing credits/backing vocal credits for Ariana Grande. I CAN HEAR HER IN THE SONGS SHE HELPED WRITE. She's goofy and sexy and has some fun production preferences, and I can hear her sometimes now even when she's composing/producing for other artist. I haven't been able to peg a pop writer this hard since good ol' jackie, and that's because he's everywhere and also in like 3 solo projects and also Taylor Swift's silver bullet. But like I can directly point to how much she worked on Thank You Next and the all time greatest Ariana album, Dangerous Woman. She helped write Body Count, Sin City, On The Way... all songs I liked by other artists, but didn't realize who, you know, helped make. This is not to say I didn't love Troye Sivan this year- and both these artists made my year end retrospective. I really dig Troye's album (Though I run into the issue I have with a lot of albums where I like but don't love the second half of it, which is why Victoria took the W.). Give the songs In My Room or What's The Time Where You Are a listen for sure. It's just. so hard to find an album you unironically vibed with. Unashamedly and openly. I honestly don't care if anyone else likes this album, because I loved it. I'll stream it enough for all of us, a bitch might buy it on vinyl Anyways sorry for running on so long, it's Jaguar II by Victoria Monet, because if we have to say Goodbye, let's make it a Good Bye is something I want to live by now that I've heard it.

#stealthrockdamage #ask meme #music asks #fresh jamz

[posidexberg]

Helpful Neighbor

Naomi stared wide-eyed at the blank piece of paper in the typewriter’s shuttle. Her thumb twitched, her fingers waiting in typing formation but nothing was coming out. She was blocked up, in more ways than just the writers’ variety. The bulge in her tight cloth pants kept time with the twitches of her long elven ears.

She glanced at the pocket watch she’d hung off the ink bottle of her pigeon-hole desk. “Four hours until Ysidril is home,” she thought, biting her lower lip, its plump, creaseless shape flowed into a pout. She tapped one of the keys lightly but incessantly and glanced over her shoulder for some reassurance that no one else was in their tiny 1 bedroom apartment. Nope, no one in the living room area, where her writer’s desk was set up. Why would there be, Naomi, your wife left to make a bank transaction in the city center and run other errands all day. Horny idiot.

“Ugh, horny,” echoed in her mind as she sank lower into the swiveling chair. She touched her bulging erection, which pulsated, tightening her pants around it. She gasped. She glanced at a spot on the kitchen wall. “Well, we did agree to use this in emergencies,” she thought, getting out of the chair and walking over to it. She lifted her slender arm, thought about what she was doing, and let it fall. “I’m not TOO horny, come on Naomi get it together,” she said outloud to herself. She leaned her hip against the counter next to her. And then she twisted to face the counter edge, pressing her crotch into it. Mindlessly, she rocked her hips, her semi-flacid chode hardening against the pressure. “uGh, fuck me okay fine,” she snapped away from the temptation and faced the wall, again raising her fist but this time knocking on it in three curt, hard knocks. Almost immediately, a cacophony of clattering dishes or maybe overturned chairs rushed from the apartment next door. Naomi distinctly heard what sounded like the stubbing of a toe and the resultant cursing that followed. The chaos left into the hallway, and was soon at Naomi’s front door. A small throat clearing was heard before three equal knocks on the door. Naomi chuckled to herself, waltzed over to the door and swung it open.

Leaned against the door frame was a 3 foot tall goblin, with light green skin and long brown hair tied up in some sort of bun, but pieces of it still lazily fell against her ears. Her body was the definition of shortstack, with titties and an ass that would look large on a woman twice her height. It didn’t help that she was wearing a tanktop and panties that were probably two sizes too small. She looked up at Naomi with all the confidence and swagger of a gangster, even though Naomi knew she was putting on.

She let out a chuckle, “How’s your toe Vezzy,” she asked cheekily.

“Hey don’t laugh, you’re the one interrupting me here!” Vezzy snapped back, pointing a stiletto-nailed finger with so much sass that Naomi stopped laughing. Vezzy then spun around and bent over, revealing she was in a g-string thong that did nothing to cover her bulbous, rubbery, dark green asshole, which she coely circled with a finger, adding “besides, I know you need this more than mee-EE!”

Naomi snached the annoying green goblin around the waist and yanked her inside the door quickly, slamming in behind them, horsley whispering “don’t you have any decency! This is an elven building!” But when she looked down to her tormentor, all she saw was a cheeky grin - she continued her rant, “don’t you look at me like that yoooo~~oh~” and was cut short by plump, round hip-movements. The way she grabbed Vezzy, and the position Vezzy was in when she was grabbed, meant that the tall elf held the not-covered-by-anything-resembling-functional-underwear-at-all pussy and ass of the short, plump goblin directly against the hardening bulge in her thin cloth pants. All it took was a little grinding, and Naomi was harder than darksteel. She could feel Vezzy’s heartbeat through her genitals, and she was sure Vezzy could feel the same from her’s. Her cheeks flushed and she let out a pant.

“Do you want to keep talking or do you want to fuck me,” the goblin retorically asked over her shoulder, already reaching an arm back, twisting in Naomi’s grip to get a hand behind the elf’s neck and pull her in for a wet, tongue kiss. The elf relented, bending her neck and plunging her tongue deep into her lover’s tight throat. At the same time, she rhythmically raised and lowered her compact, dense frame along the length of her cloth-imprisoned shaft, the tip of which was forming a wet spot. It wasn’t 15 seconds of passionate foyer makeouts before the

entire length of Naomi’s cock was soaked through by Vezzy’s sopping, oceanic pussy. Her organs were inflated with arousal, shades of pink and red showing at the top of her folds, contrasted against the green of them. “I’m going to - mm - fuck you all the - muah muah - way through this time,” Naomi threated in between lurching, passionate kisses. “Good - mh - muah - you better - mmh mmh - and you pump me full of that – mm oh fuck - that elven cum, or your wife is gonna be mad,” Vezzy retorted. She twisted around in her handler’s arms, wrapping her legs high around the elf’s waist.

Naomi adjusted her grip, holding the goblin by her carpigiani ass, a cheek in each hand, even though they overflowed her grip. She pushed her juicy cock head into Vezzy’s gelatinous pussy, both women whimpering. Her pants still on, she couldn’t make much headway, but her brain was spinning from the scents and hormones in the air - she spun around and pushed Vezzy into the door, still holding her ass. She bucked her hip rhythmically, plunging and holding Vezzy tightly, who in turn wrapped her arms around Naomi’s head, passionately kissing her, snaking her long tongue down Naomi’s throat. In a few minutes the floor was covered in precum and pussy juice, and both women were flush and hot all over their bodies.

“Enough teasing, I need you inside me,” Vezzy finally moaned, pulling her tongue out of Namoi’s mouth with a slurp. At the same time she unhooked her legs from around Naomi’s waist and used her petite, shiny (many goblins don’t have a mix of sweat glands and oil glands that produce a oily, hormone-filled substance) feet to grab and pull down the waistband of Naomi’s pants. Naomi responded in turn, completely lost in the moment, she grabbed Vezzy by the small of her back and her neck, ramming her cock deep into her, pressing her tiny frame against the door, fucking her deeply, pounding her against the door, all thoughts of decency out the window. “Ah! Ah! Ah fuck!” and “bang bang bang!” rang out into the hallway. Some neighbors started touching themselves. Vezzy’s hands dashed around Naomi’s naked back, neck, face and hair, as the elf’s tongue and lips explored the goblin’s smooth and oily neck, breasts (which were exposed, despite the best efforts of Vezzy’s fuck-me tanktop). The elven penis leaked precum like a faucet into Vezzy’s slick and engorged pussy, and Naomi had just a second of cognition, panting, “wait, wait, I want to feel your mouth…” Vezzy smiled knowingly, and she closed her eyes, picturing the ramming her throat was about to take. The couple moved into the small living room, with Vezzy seated on the back of the love-seat, so that her head was level with Naomi’s crotch. The elf’s cheeks were flush, and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears, the long, dainty tips of which burned. She lined the bulbous head of her cock up with Vezzy’s plump, fat, darkly stained lips, which seductively kissed the dripping bellend as Vezzy made fuck-me eyes up at her friend. “Holy fucking shit Vez,” Naomi cried out, as she rammed her cock…

------- “That was too close, Vez,” Naomi panted. The goblin waggled her fat butt playfully, sitting on the love-seat like a puppy. “What are you going to do about it,” she asked the elf coyly. Both women were covered in sweat now, goblin and otherwise. The oily, hormone-filled goblin sweat already going to work on the both of them. Vezzy’s pussy winked and dripped, and Naomi’s testicles churned and swelled and her bellend grew. Both womens’ nipples were errect

and their areoles were deeply shaded. They both knew intellectually that Naomi needed to cum in Vezzy’s womb, deep, and fill her stretchy goblin guts, as a clear and safe way to store her overspent load that she was trying to save for her wife (elven mating is so complicated), but all intellect had gone out the window 15 minutes ago.

Now Naomi had Vezzy in a mating press, nearly folding the poor goblin in half and cramming her into the love-seat, each thrust threatening to break her or the couch. Vezzy could feel the fat head of her lover’s cock pressing against her big cervix, but she knew that she still had inches to go, as her lover’s hips were not yet striking her body in the way she loved.

“Uh! Uh! G-! Go! De-! Deep-! -er! -er! Fu-! -uc-! -ck!” was all she managed to get out about the issue. Naomi picked her up again, legs pinned behind her large ears, and used her whole body like a portable sex toy. Naomi’s hair was coming out of her bun, pieces of it flying in her face, Vezzy’s eyes were crossed, her tongue flopping out of her mouth, both women’s cries filling the afternoon air. Naomi was bottoming out of Vezzy’s womb, fulling blowing hard thrusts into its warm walls, which reverberated through the goblin’s entire tummy, sending shockwaves that seemed to even affect her brain.

Both lovers were beyond common language, moaning and crying out being their only needed communication. When Vezzy felt the elf’s balls tighten she knew what she was in for. Naomi screamed and released thick warm ropes of cum directly into Vezzy’s stretchy womb. Goblins are known for their litters, but Naomi’s bucking hips released gallons of spunk into a tight container. Vezzy came in time, holding her expanding belly that bloated to “slightly pregnant”, then “carrying twin”, then “40 weeks with triples,” with each ejaculation and twitch of Naomi’s fat cock. A final grunt and Naomi’s body relaxed. They lay there panting for a minute, Naomi still hard inside the tight, warm tunnel of her friend. Finally, Naomi got to her knees and held the base of her cock, “are you ready to squeeze?” She asked, and Vezzy nodded shyly - all spunk had been fucked out of her - and Naomi slowly pulled her cock out of the goblin’s womb, a wet “schlhop!” indicated she’d pulled out of her cervix. Vezzy bit her lip and furrowed her brow as she tightened her cervix shut, straining against the incredible load she carried. Stepping back now, Naomi saw that the little goblin, laying on her back on the couch, looked like she was well overdue with triplets. She was entirely naked, her dark green skin shiny with oil. She was currently preoccupied with the strain of holding in all of the cum she was filled with, something she was clearly already struggling with. Her hands absently wandered her body, seeking relief from the pressure. She squeezed her fat titties and a shower of milk sprayed out, But she hardly noticed, groaning instead, “Uhh fuck Naomi, how long until your wife gets home and I get unload into her?” She twisted her face as she put all of her effort into keeping her taxed cervix shut, the muscles already trying to relax. “About two hours…Think you can make it?” Vezzy felt her cervix quiver and weaken, before she redoubled her efforts and once again dammed up her womb, “ugg, yeah yeah, I think so,” she breathed.

#preggo kink #inflated belly #goon trigger #free use kink #thick vibes only #sexy content

[johannestevans]

Update - 27/02/2023

Good evening, good evening, good evening!

I've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes this week - I'm about halfway into a new Norse mythology-based novella that I'm very excited about, as well as a few other short stories and essays; I've also been getting some of the planning done for this year's Monstrous May! The prompts will be out some time around mid-March, which will give people a bit more than a month to prep and plan if you prefer to plan out your fills in advance.

If you haven't taken part before, the Monstrous May Challenge is a prompt challenge that I run every year, and this is going to be the third year going - I set up a prompt for every day of the month of May, all themed around different monsters!

If you're interested in seeing the last few year's prompts, these were 2021's, and these were 2022's.

I don't have a wide variety by way of media recommendations this week, but I did enjoy a double bill with the boys that I think is worth recommending:

Calendar Girls (2003, dir. Nigel Cole) - This is about a Women's Institute chapter (the WI is a kind of British club for women to do hobbies, charity work, and community activities together) who want to raise money for a leukaemia charity after the death of one of their husbands, so they do a nude calendar. Because they're all older women from Yorkshire, it becomes a huge media sensation. Helen Mirren and Julie Walters star, but every woman on this cast is fucking class, and it's such a fun, silly movie.

The Full Monty (1997, dir. Peter Cattaneo) - This is about a group of unemployed ex-steelworkers in Sheffield, suffering the after-effects of Thatcher's Britain - after the Chippendales (a male strip group) come to town, they decide to learn to dance and put on their own strip show where they, unlike the Chippendales, will give their audience "the full monty" - they'll be completely naked.

These two films came out half a decade from each other, and while both are set in the Yorkshire, they offer starkly and drastically different windows into life in the two counties (North and South) that are largely divided by class and gender. Both are explicitly about mainly cis heterosexual people (there is a canonical gay couple in the main cast in the Full Monty who get together during the course of their stripping, and they're adorable) navigating work that is adjacent to sex work, and a lot of the shame that that comes with.

Calendar Girls is about middle and upper class white women, many of whom are retired or running their own businesses, in a small country village - these are quite affluent women, and their difficulty in fundraising is depicted far more as coming from the boring nature of WI offerings rather than as a shortage of money in the community.

Throughout the film, they go, "No, no, we won't be naked, we'll be nude," and there's continuous repetition of the idea of the calendar as "art", and therefore far more elevated over mere pornography, even though the idea for doing the nude calendar is inspired by Helen Mirren's character paging through her teenage son's titty mags and then seeing a sexy nude calendar at her local mechanic's.

While there's of course a lot of nudity in the film, it's largely not extremely sexualised and is artistically posed - most of the women don't really discuss or seem to have active sex lives, again because these are affluent women for whom such things would be largely considered very gauche, even having posed nude for this calendar.

The Full Monty is wholly different.

This is not a film about affluent or well-off men - the vast majority of them are working class lads who were basically left without options after all the factories closed, all of whom are hunting for jobs that aren't there between picking up their dole every week: the most well-off member was previously the foreman at the factory, and he's in the same boat as the men he used to manage. Of the rest of the crew, the majority of them are white with one of them Black (played by Paul Barber, my beloved), and two of the lads, as I've said, are queer.

There's far less pretense in here about their strip show being about elevated high art - the lads quite rightly note that the women who'll want to see stripshows want to because they think men are hot, and that it's a good laugh seeing strippers. There's a moment where they're discussing a woman in a magazine, discussing the size of her breasts and then saying, "Oh, I wasn't criticising her personality, just her tits," and they then talk about how when they're dancing on stage, the women in the audience are going to be discussing them in the same objectifying manner.

This is a film that's broadly about masculinities and the shame of not being able to support their households financially with the pittance they're given on the dole, and how disposable they feel, especially because Robert Carlyle's character primarily wants to pay his arrears in child support to his ex-wife, and is very hostile to her new boyfriend because of how insecure he makes him feel while already feeling awful about his position.

Calendar Girls is a film about quite affluent women who are doing "artistic" nudity to raise additional money for a charitable cause - The Full Monty is effectively about a group of working class men who are doing one of the more acceptable forms of sex work for survival. The fictional town of Knapley for Calendar Girls is based on Rylstone - that's only an hour and a half away from Sheffield by car, but they live very, very different lives. Even just the panning shots are starkly different, Calendar Girls filled with beautiful sweeping shots of the Yorkshire moors, swelling green hills and blue skies, and Sheffield continuously showing shots of a dilapidated and neglected town, a car submerged in the canal, the towers from a factory no longer belching out steam, buildings half falling down and left empty.

There's just one more point of comparison I'd like to make, and one of my favourite aspects of The Full Monty - so, throughout Calendar Girls, a lot of these women are quite anxious about ageing and the way that their bodies look now that they're in middle age, fearing that they're no longer attractive or as desirable as they were. They talk about wrinkles, breast size, sagging, et cetera.

In The Full Monty there is a little insecurity from the lads as a whole, especially from the foreman and Horse both about being older men, and from the wee ginger lad about having "pigeon tits" (they're very cute) - but my favourite subplot is actually about Mark Addy's character, Dave. Dave is fat, and his friends make a lot of jokes about his being fat and therefore undesirable, and a lot of his insecurity about actually doing the stripping is anxiety around his weight and a lot of fear and anxiety about being undesirable. we see him a few times being intimate with his girlfriend and panicking that she's not attracted to him, and ultimately ending up feeling very empowered by doing the stripping.

Both movies obviously have those themes of boosting esteem and feeling somewhat more empowered through being viewed and presenting themselves in these desirable contexts, but the plotline with Dave is far more developed and considered than any of those in Calendar Girls, and is super impactful.

Mark Addy is also hot as fuck in this role, but that's my typical slutty commentary on most films.

Anyway, I've seen both of these films a bunch of times, and despite their numerous respective flaws, I absolutely think they're both work checking out and watching, especially The Full Monty. The latter is honestly one of those films that is just watchable again and again, and I love it to fucking bits. The soundtrack alone makes it a triumph.

Anyway!

New Works Published

Fiction Short: Without Mercy

2.6k, rated M, M/M. A retired mercenary seeks out another Spartan — the man, in fact, responsible for the deaths of his family. Featuring massage, guilt, banter, back-and-forth.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Blog Post: Advice on Being A Slut

Anonymous asked:

Possibly an odd question, but……do you have advice on how to be a slut? I’m recently out as a gay trans man, in my 30’s, only ever been with straight cisgender men, and I have no idea where to start. Being on testosterone has helped with the dysphoria, but I can’t seem to let go of old habits from when I was a girl having sex with guys. You can ignore this if you don’t feel comfortable answering, I just thought given the nature of your blog you might have some really good insights

This is a really big post digging into some of the differences between M/F casual dating culture and M/M cruising culture, how it feels to go between the two as a trans man, and also some more practical slutty tips!

On Tumblr.

This is another post from the same asker, following up a bit more on navigating trauma responses from disrespectful and coercive partners, and also on communicating in the bedroom. Also on Tumblr.

I've been answering more asks of recent, which I'm loving by the way!

Apart from advice stuff, I absolutely love getting asks about character or analysis topics, I really feel like I'm easing into a period of writing a lot more non-fiction, and I'm super excited about it!

Writing non-fiction alongside my fiction always comes super naturally to me, I just rarely publish as much of the non-fiction very formally, so I'm really into the idea of going a bit more of it going forward.

Oh, and if you have any particular requests or hopes for Monstrous May this year, feel free to hop into my asks and let me know!

#monstrous may challenge #the full monty #calendar girls #update

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Nidoran ♂ isn't super creative, but it does look cool

As we discussed in the female Nidoran video, the Nidoran line relies on some very tropey and often very human sexual dimorphism for its variety, which is a bit tedious but given Nidoran was the only line to do this at all, okay, fine, didn't wanna reinvent the wheel there I guess.

Male Nidoran stand apart from their female counterparts first of all by being bright purple, which is how you know they're a poison type. Besides that they are also just sharper. They have more spikes, they have longer spikes, their heads are more angular, their claws are pointier. Overall they come off as more dangerous and aggressive than the female Nidorina, which again, is all very Baby's First Sexual Dimorphism character design.

The transition through Nidorino into Nidoking is relatively smooth, bridging the gap between small poison rodent and giant rhino dinosaur fairly smoothly, and where Nidoqueen got titties and bikini markings, Nidoking goes a little more subtle, merely recieving fully human like pectorals, which is kinda funny. All my criticisms aside though, both Nidoran final forms look like cool-ass kaiju and that does count for something.

#tbskyen #pokémon #pokemon #nidoran #nidorino #nidoking #Youtube

[trickstarbrave]

a big argument i see for pro-ai stuff not being stolen is "well humans reference things all the time in art and writing. then all people who reference another artist's or writer's work are also unethical"

and this argument misunderstands the nuance of reference in writing and drawing that can be very tricky line to toe in terms of ethics, as well as what "machine learning" is

when you use a stable diffusion model the program is pulling up a variety of images, overlaying them based on the prompt you have entered, finds commonalities, and produces a semi-coherent amalgamation. its basically like making collages. and depending on how specific the prompt is it will have very little to scrape from and thus will at times completely recreate an existing illustration by an actual human artist with some minor tweaks. this is also why there are very common "genres" of ai art like random pretty person makes a neutral face looking off into the distance" or "big titty anime waifu" or "uncanny sports illustrated cover" and are severely limited in scope of what you can easily make or not based on the biases of the data set.

in word models it scrapes information in it's database and uses common phrases and strings of words like a predictive text. when it says things that are accurate or make sense it is basically rewording existing bodies of data or literature. when it's not its basically like bad predictive text that is random phrases that are confusing messes strung together.

both of these things can be done by humans. you can look at an image and basically recreate it with some tweaks. this is called heavily referencing and is done during art studies, and some artists also really hate it and ask people not to, and it is largely frowned upon to not use this artwork for commercial use as it is mostly just regurgitating the years of study, variety of references, and ideas another artist has already done. if someone makes a rip off of finding nemo for instance we can recognize this is a poorly made, cheap imitation that is trying to capitalize off of something more successful for low effort and trick people who dont know the difference or who dont have access to the original. they do not add anything to the medium besides a cheap imitation. they're allowed to exist, but aren't exactly good.

you can also do the same as what chatgpt does: regurgitate the same information with some words changed and rearrange the structure by adding in bits and pieces from other sources you have reworded. this is regarded as a form of plagiarism and is unethical and will get you kicked out of academic or literature spaces. you arent coming up with your own ideas and finding materials to back it up and elaborate upon your ideas. you are taking the finished idea, slapping a new coat of paint on it, and marketing it as your own with a few more things hastily taped onto it. this is what james somerton did and we saw how that worked out: he was eventually called out for plagiarizing much smaller creators.

actually making new material via referencing requires understanding what you are looking at and reading, having your own ideas, synthesizing how these things work best to communicate your vision, and taking care that you are not lifting too much from the source material to the point you are just repeating what someone else did but better than you already. this is a lot harder than people outside of creative or academic circles wanna believe. anyone can read a wikipedia article, reword things, and pull up a few quotes. its very basic. but it doesn't show you truly understand the subject or have anything new to add.

this isn't to say i think anyone who repeats similar ideas or heavily references shit is a bad person. these are often the first steps you learn towards understanding a subject and building your own ideas. people do art studies recreating pictures because they wanna learn through experience how certain techiques are done, why, and then later apply them to other pictures or written works or whatever. you have to follow a few sewing or crochet patterns before you can make your own. likewise i don't have any problem with ai in certain applications--so long as the database is sourced with consent and ethically, it can be a useful tool for reference gathering and idea generation (though i don't like it in terms of academic work or referencing factual information. datasets can be polluted way too easily or the model can get all wonky and end up spitting shit out that is just objectively incorrect. actual fact checking and research is going to be the only real method but companies like it bc its new and its cheap and ppl like google and microsoft prefer people look at ads then actually learn)

but the referencing without fully understanding is the beginning stages of learning art. it should not be the end product being regurgitated and then sold commercially. that's just exploiting other people who did all the hard work of understanding form, lighting, values, composition, poses, and so on as art fundamentals to spit back out something that is a cheap imitation. it is the knock off movie version of art. in order to make anything really worth while it will require a human being to rework it so heavily it is basically more of the human's work than the AIs.

[eldritch-spouse]

Re: Grimbly, I couldn’t pick this up from the master list and wanted clarification - is his first form a full adult one? Like, would that be clear to his obsession? I’m just imagining a scenario where his obsession babies him but ONLY cause they’re legitimately like He’s Babie and Grimbly is DOWN until he realizes that this means he’s not getting his dick sucked. Would he risk giving up big titty cuddles for the possibility of getting his dick sucked. The prisoner’s dilemma.

Grimbly is an adult in both stages. The first one represents early adulthood for his species, and they tend to stick like that for a good while. There isn't a gradual growth into the second form at all. One moment he's fine, the next he's overwhelmed by an instinctual urge to isolate himself in a dark place so the metamorphosis can happen. That stage represents peak adulthood.

Would that be clear to his obsession? Probably not. Plenty of people assume he's a kid when they meet him, mostly because of the facial features and the way Grimbly plays off his looks to his advantage. Some others know better. It really depends on how familiar with monster variety the obsession is- They might just assume he's a demon kid.

While he can't force the metamorphosis to happen earlier than it needs to, nor does he want such- Grimbly would do everything in his power to let the other person know he's an adult. What do you mean???? Yeah, he's babie but like, uwu babie, not an actual BABY! Oh come on, not even one handy? Seriously?! Listen, he's all about that mommy/daddy stuff, but it's a kink- Please, he swears he's above age, technically he's so much older than you too!

Manchild tantrum in 3, 2, 1 ...

If you decidedly won't fuck him, things will get so ugly.

#Grimbly oc

[sluttier-molly]

Sluttier Stories™️ (snapchat)

Sluttier Stories is a series of snapchat stories that feature adult content including nudity, substance use, & more. (you can find the @ in my bio.)

if i figure out you’re a minor, you will be blocked. sorry, but not really.

———————————————————————

rates & pricing

Hot & Heavy (bronze) $10 a month

* titty pics

* selfies

Red Flags & Long Nights (Silver) $15 a month

* full nudity pics

* substance use & humor involved when intoxicated

sex / money / feelings / die (gold) $20 a month

* access to my nudes, videos, substance habits, & the humor that sometimes follows with that

* memes

* tiktok’s

* nude of the day*

* everyday life

*as long as mental health permits, & if that can’t be understood you will be blocked. my mental health & family comes first before any of this.

———————————————————————

deals, discounts, & one timers

*deals*

* buy me something off my wishlist & whatever the total accumulates to, you will get a variety of content

*discounts*

on bronze ($10-$20 off)

* 3 months subscription - $20

* 6 months subscription - $50

* 1 year subscription - $100

on silver ($15-$25 off)

* 3 month’s subscription - $30

* 6 month’s subscription - $65

* 1 year subscription - $160

on gold ($20-$40 off)

* 3 month’s subscription - $40

* 6 months subscription - $90

* 1 year subscription - $200

*one time purchases*

* 10 digital nudes - $15

* 1 minute video - $25

* 2 minute video - $40

* 5 minute video - $80

* 30 minute video call with restrictions - $150

* 45 minute video call no restrictions - $300

———————————————————————

how to pay

1. please cash app $sluttiermolly the amount desired.

2. tag your snap account in the notes

3. send me a screenshot of it for proof

4. (potential optional step) wait.

1. this is to be said bc i work a full time job, go to school, & am currently dealing with several family emergencies. if i do not respond to you, it’s likely because of this. i promise you will still get the content you paid for, there just may be a small half a day-2 day delay. again, if this is not understood, you will be blocked.

5. receive & enjoy ;)

#breeding k1nk #degrading k1nk #abuse k1nk #spank me daddy #h0rni #bd/sm kink #bd/sm slave #spank my pussy #bd/sm brat #bd/sm community #sugarbaby #whorish #whor3 #snapchap

[monomonomagines]

Some simple fluffy nsfw for the SDR2 or DRV3 ladies (I’ll let you pick) letting their s\o (male preferably though gn is probably better) see them topless for the first time

(And you don’t have to do this bit just to make things a bit more interesting, Bonus points if we can hear what each girl calls their rack, for example I can imagine Angie would call them her “gifts from atua”, while Akane might just refer to them as “the girls”)

Thank you very much for such a fun request! The bonus part is rather interesting so I’m glad you suggested it given that I wouldn’t have even thought of what the girls would each call their own. As for the request I decided to go with a gender neutral S/o with the dr2 girls since it’s my favorite game in the series but feel free to request this with the v3 girls another time when requests are open again if you’d like to! 

Mahiru

Knowing Mahiru it’d take a long time for you be able to witness her without her top on if it wasn’t on accident.

She takes her time opening up so for her not to mind you seeing her now would be proof of her adoration for you. 

She doesn’t have a particular nickname for her girls up top due to her own embarrassment over the though of you using one but if she had to she’d probably stick to something that isn’t too overt like referring to them as her bosom. 

However, if you wish you could give them their own nickname yourself. Just make sure it isn’t anything too inappropriate or else you may experience Mahiru’s wrath. 

Peko

Peko like Mahiru isn’t used to exposing herself very much. However, it’s not that she’d be opposed to doing so.

If you were her beloved she’d be pretty willing to reveal herself to you so long as it was an appropriate time. 

She is a bit prudish given her hardened background however and won’t use many names for her upper bits aside from very formal ones like her bust or breasts.

If you decide to give her any nicknames yourself she will take it with pride so long as you do so in a private setting. 

Otherwise be prepared to embarrass and possibly anger Peko, making her lose her cool for once. 

Ibuki

If you want to see Ibuki topless it really wouldn’t take much to get her comfortable. 

She’s all about showing her affection with zero shame and that includes boob talk which is most definitely what she’s tried to have with the other girls on the island. 

When it comes to names for her parts up there Ibuki loves to use a variety of strange terms to refer to them. 

Her bewbs, bouncers, funbags, and most important her blubber nuggets. 

If you come up with any extra names for her be prepared for her to use them even in normal day to day conversations as if it’s completely normal and acceptable for her to do so. 

Hiyoko

Jokes aside about Hiyoko being part of the itty bitty titty comittee, she’s rather insecure about her size even after her impressive growth spurt.

That’s why it’d take a lot of coaxing and proving yourself trustworthy before she’d let you see her up top. 

Since it isn’t a topic she likes to talk about in too much detail (aside from making fun of others) she avoids having too overt of a nickname for her rack, instead opting for more childish or innocent names. 

For example her jiggly puffs, buds, and gum drops even. Whatever you do though don’t laugh too hard at her embarrassment. Even if you’re laughing at her she will take offense.

And while you’re at it don’t try for too many nicknames with her or she may just make up some for you that you won’t be able to get rid of. 

Mikan

Even if Mikan isn’t too proud of her body she isn’t ashamed to show it to the person she loves. 

So long as you treat her well and give her the reassurance and love that she needs she will quickly open up to you and let you see what she has going on up there.

However when it comes to the names she uses they are either unassuming and even medically correct like mamaries or very odd and more inappropriate though this usually depends on the context. 

Some of the more unusual names she’d use may be her pillows, milk jugs, or even her mams. 

However, if you come up with any nickname at all she will gladly take it no matter how embarrassing or strange. 

It’s a strange sign of her love when she allows someone to do things that would embarrass her otherwise but when it comes to you she doesn’t feel any shame about that part of her at all. 

Chiaki

Chiaki is rather trusting and laid back but not so much that’d she’d quickly reveal herself to you. It’s not any fierce tribulation to get her to open up like it may be with Hiyoko or Mahiru but she takes her time nonetheless. 

You’d have to be a good while into the relationship before the time would present itself for her to show you her upper half. 

However, when it comes to talking about that sort of thing Chiaki isn’t too ashamed or embarrassed unless you were to try and bring it up when you two aren’t behind closed doors.

As for names she uses for her twins up top she normally goes for references or more unassuming or even innocent names. 

So names like her pokeballs, tidbits, goombas and others that were much easier to say with a straight face than the previous would be used often when it was just the two of you.

However, if you were to give any nicknames you would need the Chiaki seal of approval unless you’d want to get her all pouty and embarrassed. 

Akane 

Akane’s pretty much an open book so she’d have no problem showing off what she’s got to her partner rather quickly.

She doesn’t see anything wrong with you wanting to steal glances and would be glad to show off as well as indulge you with the names she uses for her bust while she’s at it.

When it comes to naming her upper bits however, Akane can come up with some pretty overt or odd names and seems fine saying them with little or no shame. 

Some of the most common names of hers being her boulders, girls, twins, and of course breasticles. 

If you come up with any names yourself she probably won’t care much one way or another so long as you aren’t saying it in a way for her to think it’s an insult. 

However, much like Ibuki she’s fine talking about the names the two of you use for her bust and won’t be ashamed to even slightly. 

Sonia

Sonia while being rather formal isn’t very opposed to getting close with someone quickly.

 In fact, she’s quite comfortable and wouldn’t mind showing off what she has rather quickly if you two were committed to each other. 

However, with Sonia’s already peculiar speaking pattern and customs many of her names if not proper or innocent are very strange and confusing. 

Thus names like caboodles, crown jewels, norks, and pontoons are a regular part of Sonia’s vocabulary when discussing her upper body. 

She may actually benefit from you coming up with some more familiar names for her bust so that she can benefit more when she wants to talk about her breasts without confusing anyone when she drops the proper names. 

However, she doesn’t mind you giving her new ones to use so long as you don’t say them when it’s inappropriate to do so. 

She may be fast to forgive if you do ever mess up as any anger she may have towards you is short lived but she does have to worry about her appearances still as a princess.

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #dr2 #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #x reader #mahiru koizumi #peko pekoyama #ibuki mioda #hiyoko saionji #mikan tsumiki #chiaki namani #akane owari #sonia nevermind #ns//fw #ask #mod toko