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#it could have happened to anyone i’m sure
waitimcomingtoo · 15 hours
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The Script
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Synopsis: you and Peter break up once you find out his secret and he falls apart
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“We broke up.”
The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face. Ned turned around in his desk chair and pulled his earbuds out of his ears.
“What? No way.” He laughed dismissively at the assumed joke until he noticed the red rim around Peter’s eyes.
“It’s true. She broke up with me. She doesn’t want to be with me anymore.” Peter repeated through a childlike cry.
“But I thought you had a date tonight? Did something happen?”
10 minutes earlier
“Peter?”
Peter froze in the alleyway and stopped looking for his backpack. He turned around slowly and saw you standing there under a harsh street light with his backpack in your arms. The webs he had shot on it to keep it secured against the wall were still hanging off.
“It’s you? You’re the Spiderman?” You asked in a voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at him with a mixture of betrayal and confusion as you clutched his backpack like you were a child with a teddy bear. Peter still had his mask on so he stayed dead silent.
“Say something.” You seethed, a newfound anger in your voice and eyes. Peter gulped and nodded his head, knowing there was no point in lying.
“I am.” He said, making your face crumble when you heard his voice. You held the backpack tighter and stared at him as your face crumbled.
“What are you doing out here? Did you follow me?” Peter asked you.
“No. You never showed up to our date. I called you when I was walking home. Alone. I heard your phone ringing in this alley way. It was in your backpack. Here’s your stupid fucking backpack.” You said through clenched teeth and threw the backpack at him. He caught it with ease and dropped it to the floor.
“There have been Spiderman sightings on Youtube for years. Years. You never told me?” You asked and surveyed every inch of his suit as you saw it up close for the first time.
“Nobody knows.” He said quickly. “I mean, May knows. And Ned. And a handful of people I work with. But that’s it, I swear. I don’t expect you to understand this all right now but please believe that I have to keep my identity a secret for my safety. And your safety too.”
“You don’t expect me to understand?” You laughed and tilted your head to the side as if to ask if he was serious.
“I just mean that I know this is a lot to process right now.”
“It’s not a lot. You’re the Spiderman and you never thought that was something I should know. I had to find out on accident after getting stood up for the hundredth time. But, sure, I’m glad Ned knows.” You nodded and looked up so your tears wouldn’t fall.
“I would’ve have told you eventually. I just needed more time. If people knew who I was, everything would change. I wouldn’t be able to help people there way I do now. I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Since when am I just “people”and “anyone” to you?” You shook your head. “How could you keep this from me for this long? We’ve been dating for over a year. And I’ve known you since middle school. How much time did you need?“
“I don’t know. It just never felt like the right moment to say it. I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“You just never did.” You shrugged. Peter recognized that the situation was quickly escalating and you were not reacting the way he always imagined you would.
“I don’t understand why you’re getting upset right now.” Peter said calmly. “I thought you’d be happy to understand why I have to miss so many dates and flake all the time.”
“You thought I’d be happy to learn that you’ve been lying to me for our entire relationship?” You laughed again as tears fell down your face.
“I wasn’t lying.” He defended. “I just couldn’t tell you the truth yet.”
“Yet. Right.” You smiled tightly. “We’re over a year in but haven’t gotten to the point where you can be honest with me. I see.”
“I am honest with you. This is the only thing I’ve ever lied to you about. I promise.” He said and tried to step closer to you. You immediately stepped back and hugged yourself.
“I thought you loved me.” You said as you stared at the ground.
“I do love you. How can you even question that?” He laughed in shock. You looked up at him and he saw that your anger had turned to sadness.
“Peter, you stood me up countless times. Tonight included. You let me cry myself to sleep for so many nights. All those times I walked home alone after already getting to the restaurant or watched movie by myself through tears because you couldn’t bother to show up. You knew I was feeling insecure lately about the distance between us but you still decided to say nothing to cue me in as to why it was happening. Do you know how painful it is to feel someone you love pulling away and have them tell you your suspicions are all unfounded? How long would you have let me feel that way if I hadn’t caught you tonight?”
“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how this was affecting you.” Peter said quietly.
“Of course you didn’t.”
“Look, I know this is really upsetting now, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Peter said and put his hands on his shoulders. You pushed him off of you and took a step back. Peter gulped and wondered how he was going to make it out of this conversation alive because he had never seen you reject him like this.
“You always say that. And you never do. I have a long list of things I’m still waiting for you to make up for. Why should I believe this time is different?” You asked him and folded your arms.
“It will be different. I promise. I’ll fix this. Stop walking away from me.” Peter pleaded and reached out to touch your face.
“It’ll be different. You promise. You say the same thing every time. And yet, I always end up crying over you. I shouldn’t have to cry over a relationship I’m still in.” You said as you pushed his hand away from you. An anxiety built in Peter’s stomach as he was used to you telling him it was fine every time he had disappointed you in the past. This time was clearly different and he didn’t know what to do. You turned and started to walk away from him so he quickly followed after.
“Where are you going?”
“Home, Peter.” You said without stopping.
“No. You can’t leave now. We have to talk about this. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. You can take it all out on me. Just don’t go, please.” Peter begged as he stepped in front of you to stop you.
“I don’t want to cry anymore, Peter. I’m done. This is done.” You cried and pushed past him to keep walking. Peter froze when he heard you use that word and felt his blood run cold.
“What? Done? Done with what?”
“With you. With us. With all of it. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m breaking up with you.” You said as you turned around to look at him. Peter felt his stomach drop and could barely hear you over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.
“What? We can’t just break up. I love you.” He protested as he got that feeling in his nose that told him he was about to cry.
“That’s not good enough for me.” You shook your head.
“What?”
“You can say you love me as much as you want but until you prove that, I can’t be with you. I won’t be with you. I’m done.” You repeated and turned to walk away again. Peter quickly ran after you and dropped down to his knees in front of you.
“No, no. No. Please. Don’t leave me. Please. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby. Just give me one more chance.” He begged as he took both your hands. You looked down at him for a long time as you thought things he wished he could hear.
“Please.” He whispered, barely audible. You looked up again but it was no use to stop your tears from falling.
“Say something.” He pleaded and squeezed your hands.
“I’m saying goodbye.” You said after a beat of silence. Peter made the mistake of letting his hopes build up during that silence. He stayed on his knees as you pulled your hands out of his and walked away. His tears fell rapidly down his face and it wasn’t long before his heartache turned into misplaced anger. He got off his knees and turned in your direction.
“You’re not being fair.” He called down the street. You stopped in your tracks and turned around.
“Excuse me?”
“This isn’t fair. I didn’t ask to be bitten. I didn’t ask for this life and all this responsibility. But it happened to me and I’ll never know why but I do know that I have to do something about it. I wish I could be a normal guy my age and take my girlfriend on dates, but I can’t. I have a duty to this city to protect it. I hate that it’s true but sometimes, I have to chose helping someone in need over spending time with you. You’re acting like I went out of my way to neglect you on purpose.”
“I understand that you didn’t choose this, but you could have told me all of that from the start. Then maybe I would’ve been more sympathetic. But right now, all I can think about is every little lie you told me to keep me in the dark. Oh, I’m sick. Oh, I have homework. Oh, I have to help my boss with something. Tonight, you told me you weren’t gonna make it to our date because your aunt needed help with something. You didn’t even care enough to lie about what she needed help with. But, yet, at least I got a lie tonight. Sometimes you just don’t show up.”
“I had to lie, okay? Do you have any idea how much danger I’d be in if you let it slip who I really was?”
“So is it that you couldn’t tell anyone or you couldn’t trust me not to tell?” You asked as you walked back up to him.
“You know how you are. You tell your friends everything.” He said coldly.
“Are you seriously saying this is my fault?” You raised your eyebrows.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.” He sighed. “I’m just saying that you’re being kind of selfish right now.“
“I’m being selfish?”
“Yes, you are. It’s selfish to expect me to prioritize you over the safety of-“
“Of who?” You cut him off. “Of literally all of New York? Of the world? Where does your domain of responsibility end? Who do you prioritize me over? Where do I rank? When do I matter to you?”
“That’s not fair.” Was all he could say because he didn’t know the answer to your questions.
“You know what else isn’t fair? Making me have to be the only bad guy here. Because the funny thing is that I would have been proud of you. I would have been honored to be the girlfriend of someone who risked their life and gave their time to protect people they didn’t even know. But you never gave me the opportunity to feel that way. You chose to lie to me. You chose this over me every single time. You never chose me. That’s why we’re breaking up. I would have understood if you needed to prioritize saving lives over dates with me but I cannot understand you lying to my face every single day for years. I spent birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and countless nights staring at the empty seat I saved for you that you never showed up to. So no, I don’t think I’m being selfish right now. I don’t think it was selfish of me to share my boyfriend with all of New York.”
Peter was quiet again as he processed what you had said. There was no way to undo what he had done and it was clear apologizing wasn’t cutting it this time.
“I don’t know how to be without you. You’re my best friend. None of this matters without you.” Peter said in a small voice. You sighed and felt sympathetic towards him for just a moment.
“Peter, you were and always will be my first love. That’s always going to mean something to me. But now I have to look back at our relationship and never know what was real and what was a lie. If you’re not going to choose me, then I will. I’m done waiting around for you. I’m done.”
“Please, don’t give up on me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He croaked out.
“But you did.”
“I know. I know I did. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll never stop trying to make things right.” He pleaded and tried to reach for you again.
“Don’t bother, Peter. You need to stay away from me for a while.” You told him in a calm voice.
“What? How long?” He blinked in disbelief.
“I don’t know. A long time.”
“But can we at least be friends? Like we were before?” He asked desperately.
“We can’t be friends.” You shook your head and turned to leave again.
“What? Not even friends?” His voice cracked as he called after you.
“I can’t be your friend. I can’t be in any kind of relationship with you. That’s what I’m trying to say here. I don’t trust you.”
“Ever?” He squeaked out. “We can’t ever find our back to each other?”
You didn’t answer him as you walked home alone. Peter stood on the sidewalk for a long time, unsure of what to do with himself now. He wanted to run after you and get you to see his side, but he knew that would just make things worse. You had said what you needed to say and he had to respect that as much as it pained him to see you walk away. Instead of going after you, he swung to Ned’s house and climbed through his window.
“We broke up.” The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face.
Peter let a month pass before he tried to speak to you again. Minus a few texts and voicemails left on particularly miserable nights, he had left you alone for the most part. But after counting down the 31 painfully long and quiet days without you, he went up to you in the hallway on campus one day.
“Hey.” He greeted you with an anxious smile. You stopped walking and looked behind you to make sure you were the one he was talking to.
“Hi.” You said with knit eyebrows of confusion.
“How are you? How have you been?”
“I’m fine.” You said flatly.
“Did you just come from class? Was it okay?”
“Um, I really don’t want to be mean here but why are you talking to me?” You asked him. Peter blinked in surprise at your response and lost all the confidence he had built up.
“Oh, um. I don’t know. We haven’t talked into a month. I was giving you space.”
“Why’d you stop?”
“Stop what?”
“Giving me space.” You replied. “I still don’t want to talk to you.”
“But it’s been a month.” He pointed out and realized how silly he sounded as it came out of his mouth.
“Okay? We ended a year long relationship and years of friendship. We can’t just go back to normal after that.”
“But…but we’re different.” He stammered. “We were different. I thought, I don’t know, maybe…”
“Maybe what? I’ll just forget about the shit you put me through?” You asked when he trailed off. He shut his mouth and went quiet and you couldn’t help but feel bad at the deer in headlights look he had in his eyes.
“Peter, I told you.” You sighed. “We can’t be friends.”
“I know we can’t go right back to how we were but we don’t have to pretend the other doesn’t even exist.” He insisted.
“No, Peter, you’re not understanding. I won’t be your friend. I won’t even fake niceties with you. I’m not trying to be mean but I don’t want you in my life in any capacity. I’m not changing my mind on this.”
“We can’t just never speak again. Our story can’t end like this.” He said quietly and you could tell he was on the verge of tearing up.
“It wasn’t supposed to. But it is. So please, just leave me alone.” You asked calmly so that he wouldn’t break down.
“I can’t. This is killing me. You and I not being together doesn’t make sense to me. Please. I’ll do anything to make this right. I still love you and-“
“Peter. Please. We’re at school.” You cut him off and uncomfortably looked around for who was listening.
“You’re telling me you don’t feel anything for me anymore? Because I don’t believe that. I know you. I know you can’t shake things that easily.”
“I didn’t think so either. But I’ve never been hurt like this.”
“Then can we please go somewhere and talk? I’ll listen this time. I swear.” Peter pleaded and stepped forward to touch your arm. You stared at him for a minute and looked sympathetic so he thought you might say yes.
“I can’t.” You said finally. “I have class. I have to go.”
“Oh, okay.” He nodded in disappointment. “Maybe some other time then. Just please know how sorry I am for hurting you.”
“You don’t need to keep apologizing, Peter.” You sighed. “I’ve moved on. I think you should too.”
“You’ve moved on? Like, with another guy?” Peter blinked a few times to stop the tears he felt threatening to spill out at this new bit of information.
“Not that it would be any of your business if I did, but no.” You amswered. “I just mean that I’d been mourning our relationship before it even ended so I accepted our breakup a long time ago. I’ve moved on now.”
“Were you really that unhappy?” Peter asked in a small voice.
“Well, yeah, Peter.” You admitted. “I loved you when you were around but it felt awful the nights you were gone. I felt completely alone a lot of the time. And even when you were with me, I was never sure you wanted to be there.”
“I always wanted to be with you.” He promised. “If you ever believe something I say again, just know how badly I wished I could have been there with you.”
You chewed your bottom lip and stared into his eyes as you tried to decide if you should believe him or not. You swore never to believe another word out of his mouth but his tired eyes seemed so genuine that you knew there must be truth to his words. But even if he was telling the truth, that didn’t matter to you anymore.
“I can’t talk about this right now. I have class.”You repeated. “Get some sleep tonight, okay? You don’t look so good.”
Another month went by and Peter was starting to feel used to not speaking to you. The thought of it beginning to feel normal to not have you in his life scared him so he called you up one night and listened to your voicemail with tears in his eyes. By month three, he pretty much just felt numb. He was falling to pieces very quickly and you were the only one who could save him. He’d seen you around on campus and sometimes get a pity wave if he stared too long. Every so often, he’d follow you home but keep his distance on rooftops. He swore you knew he was there as sometimes you’d stop and look up. He made no effort to hide but you made no effort to seek him out.
Peter was on his nightly patrol one night when his police radio started going crazy. He heard the words “bus crash” and “pile up” being reported over and over so he picked up his radio to listen for where it was. Once he had a location, he swung to the bridge and landed in the middle of the scene. Peter saw one of the large city buses on its side and twenty some cars piled up behind it. Police officers were already on the scene and helping people but Peters senses were telling him danger was still present.
“How can I help?” Peter asked an officer.
“Usually I don’t like seeing you at crime scenes but you might be able to help us. A bus is about to over the side of the bridge and our extraction guys are having a hard time getting onto the bridge with all the traffic.”
“Which bus?” Peter asked and looked around.
“It’s over there. Bus Q8.” The officer pointed out. There was a bus hanging over the side of the bridge with its nose pointed towards the water. Peter could see people inside trying to stay calm so they didn’t shake the bus.
“Q8? My girlfriend takes that bus.” Peter’s mouth went dry as his head shot back to the bus teetering over the edge of the bridge.
“Then you better hurry.” The officer called after Peter. The bus was on its side so Peter opened up the emergency hatch on the top and climbed inside. He calmed down the people on the bus one by one and assured them that he was there to get them to safety. As he spoke to the passengers, he kept an eye out for you but didn’t see you in any of the seats. You normally took the bus home at this time and Peter found it hard to believe this was the one day you didn’t.
“Was there a girl on this bus with a purple backpack? She was wearing brown converse and a jean jacket today. Did any see her?” He asked the passengers.
“Yeah. She was sitting over there.” Someone answered and pointed to the back of the bus. Peter went to your seat but only found your backpack.
“This is her backpack. Where is she?” He asked and felt his fear rise quickly. He looked around and saw that the back door of the bus was opened. He pushed the door open a little more and the bus wobbled at his movement.
“Did she leave?” Peter asked with his panic evident in his voice.
“She was helping a few people get out of the back until this little boy ran out. She told the mom she’d go find him. I haven’t seen her since.” Someone else informed him.
“Okay. Thank you. I’m gonna get you guys to safety.” Peter promised. He helped people out of the back of the bus one by one after securing the bus to the bridge with his webs. Once he was sure everyone was out safely, he began to search for you. He had an anxiety like nothing he had ever felt as he searched through the crowds for your face. As he looked around the scene, he heard a woman talking to a police officer about a girl falling over into the water. Peter felt his hair stand up and approached them.
“Excuse me? Was the girl who fell into the water wearing brown converse?” He asked and hoped the answer was no.
“I think so.” The woman replied but couldn’t be sure.
“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked.
“This girl helped me get my son after he ran off the bus. He had climbed into an empty car nearby to hide so she climbed in to get him. But the car fell into the water before she could get out herself.” The woman replied as she clutched her son to her chest.
“Did…did the car go under?” Peter asked with a dry mouth. The woman looked pained at his question and he already knew her answer.
“When I looked over the side, I saw it sink under the water. I’m so sorry. There was nothing I could do. Did you know her?” The woman asked and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. The police officer started asking Peter questions but he couldn’t hear anything. He felt like he was about to pass out and stumbled backwards. He took off running towards the side of the bridge and looked over into the water. The rocky river water looked especially treacherous that night, sending a sick feeling to Peter’s stomach. He wasted no time and dove into the water in search of you. He swam down and eventually found a car in the water but when he pulled the doors open, there was no sign of you. Peter quickly swam up to gasp for air before going back down to look again. He did this five times before he exhausted himself. He dragged himself onto the little patch of grass at the base of the bridge and laid on the ground. He pulled his mask off and let out a guttural sob as he covered his face with his hands. He knew he had to pull himself up and help the people on the bridge but his entire body felt like lead. He rubbed the saltwater out of his eyes and took another minute to recover. As he rolled over to get himself up, he made eye contact with you.
“Peter?” You asked in a shaky voice. You were wet from the river and holding yourself as you slowly walked toward him.
“You’re okay?” Peter asked as he got up off the ground. You were shivering from the cold and he wished desperately that he had something he could cover you with.
“Yeah. I managed to get out through the trunk of the car. I was on the other side of the platform when I heard you crying. Did you go looking for me?” You asked when you realized he was wet too. Peter was still in stunned silence at the sight of you okay after accepting that you had likely drowned.
“You’re okay.” He said and started to get all chocked up again. Peter took a step forward and opened his arms to hug you hit stopped himself. He stepped back and hugged himself instead.
“What are you doing?” You wondered.
“Giving you space.” He said seriously. It made you laugh for some reason which he didn’t understand but he didn’t question it.
“Shut up.” You said when your laughter stopped.
“I didn’t say anything.” Peter said as you threw your arms around him. He stumbled back in surprise but then hugged you back tightly. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and slipped his hands into your hair to hold you closer. It felt like muscle memory to hold you again and the chill in his bones was gone in seconds.
“That was really scary. When the car fell into the water. I couldn’t breathe.” You choked out and he held you tighter.
“I know. Shhh. I know.” He whispered in your ear as you struggled to catch your breath. You pulled away just a little so that you could look at him.
“I thought of you.” You admitted. “When I was trying to find my way back to the surface. I was so tired and my lungs felt like they were going to explode but I just kept thinking that I needed to see you again. That’s what kept me going.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I should’ve been here.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” You smiled sadly and touched his face. Peter returned the sad smile, the kind the made his eyes crinkle. But as he stared into your eyes, he couldn’t help but think of the things you had said the night you broke up.
“I should’ve been there for you a lot more than I ever had been.” He began. “You didn’t deserve to spend all those nights alone wondering where I was. I should’ve been a better boyfriend to you. I should have just told you the truth. I don’t even know who I was protecting in the end. I told myself it was you but that’s not true because you still got hurt and I was the one who hurt you. And I’m so sorry for that. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Peter, you don’t have to do this right now.” You assured him.
“I do. Because I don’t know when you’re gonna talk to me again and I have so much I have to tell you. So I need you to know that I’m sorry for all the times you got dressed up for me and just never showed. I’m sorry I let you think the distance between us was all in your head even though I felt it too. I’m sorry for all the calls and texts after we broke up because I could never stay away from you. And for following you home everyday because you looking up when you thought to was around was the closest to an encounter that we had most days. And I’m sorry that I clearly didn’t love you hard enough if you were able to move on so quickly. I guess the absence of my love wasn’t much worse than the presence of it. Or maybe the presence of it already felt like an absence. I know I was barely there in the end. I know you deserve better. And I hope you get better. You were always the best part of me and now I’m just the loser who got really lucky that a cool girl liked him and found a way to fuck it all up.”
“You didn’t fuck it all up.” You smiled sadly. “We had a lot of good times too. We were happy.”
“Not enough for you to stay. Which I don’t blame you for. I wish it didn’t take losing you to realize how much I needed to change but it did. So I don’t blame you for being fine without me. You’ll always be fine. You’re better off now without me in your life and I’m just falling to pieces. I guess when a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even.”
You started at him for a moment as your eyebrows came together. You let out a short laugh and expected him to do the same but he just looked confused.
“That’s that song.” You said finally.
“What?”Peter frowned. “What song? I’m pouring my heart out here.”
“I’m falling to pieces, yeah. I’m falling to piece, yeah. Cause when a heartbreak no it don’t break even.” You sang quietly and Peters eyes went up in surprise.
“Oh shit. It is that song.” Peter realized. “Damn it. I thought I made that up. I’ve been listening to The Script a lot lately. Especially the one that’s like “cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.” I’ve been blasting that one so much that May had to take my speakers away. So then I started scream-singing it and she threatened to kick me out.”
“It’s so like you to accidentally quote a popular song and think you made it up yourself.” You laughed softly. “You said I so confidently that I genuinely believe for a second that those were your own words. But no. It was just the musical stylings of the popular early 2000s band The Script.”
“The Script are the only people that understand me right now.” Peter mumbled, making you laugh again.
“You laugh but they make the best music for yearning.” Peter continued just to make you laugh again. He smiled at the sight of you laughing at something he had said after so many months of silence between you. When your laughter died down, you looked at him for a moment the way that you used to.
“I don’t want you to yearn anymore.” You told him and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter understood what you were getting at and nodded his head.
“Do you think we could try again?” He asked in a soft voice. You smiled a little and took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest.
“I think so.” You answered.
“I swear, everything will be different this time.” He insisted. “I won’t leave you lonely anymore. And we can take it at any pace you need. Just tell me what I can do to earn back your trust.”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I can trust a guy who dives into the Hudson River for me.” You said with a coy smile as you nodded towards the water.
“I really hate to do this right now but that’s actually the East River of-“
“I don’t care.” You laughed and pulled him into a kiss to shut him up.
Tag List 🏷️
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miley1442111 · 1 day
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jealous?- a.hotchner
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a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)
summary: aaron couldn't be jealous, right?
pairing: aaron hotchner x reader
warnings: jealousy, heavy kissing, aaron is mean to spencer, not really cheating but kinda
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Aaron truly didn’t mind keeping your relationship a secret.
He thought it was a good idea considering you two were only a few months in. As much as Aaron loved you, and you loved him, hiding it was a necessity. 
Right now? Aaron wanted to walk right up to you and kiss you so hard that the officer speaking to you finally got the message. The officer, John Davis had his hands on you, he kept talking to you, asking you dumb questions. Aaron could tell you were getting irritated, if he did what we wanted, he would be sure you wouldn’t mind. Though, workplace conduct also held him back. He was the unit chief after all. 
But what happened next shocked him. Shy little Spencer Reid walked up to you, wrapped and arm around your waist, and kissed you. 
What?
You were taken by surprise, but the officer just walked away feeling dejected. Spencer pulled back with an apologetic smile and cleared his throat, his face beet red.
“He wouldn’t leave you alone,” he shrugged, explaining his motivation behind kissing you. You just nodded, shocked that your best friend just kissed you.
“Spencer!” Aaron’s voice rang out through the room. Spencer’s head turned, a sickly feeling settling in his stomach. “Outside, now,” Aaron demanded. You sent Aaron a stern glance, silently asking him to not go too hard on Spencer. He didn’t return it. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“What were you thinking?” Aaron demanded.
“Hotch, he wouldn’t leave her alone- I- what was I supposed to do?” Spencer attempted to add reasoning onto the sudden display, though a part of him deep down knew that he liked you as more than just a friend. 
“Get. Me,” Aaron deadpanned. “If you have an issue with the officers or anyone on a case you need to get me or Jj, she’s our liaison, I’m the Unit Chief,” he growled. “I thought you’d remember that, Spencer.”
“Hotch please, you know that guy wouldn’t have went away-” 
“Do I really have to babysit you?” Aaron was just being mean now. You were walking outside to them both anyways, Penelope had another break in the case. 
“Aaron,” you sighed, standing beside Spencer. “Stop being mean.”
Aaron’s body language changed immediately. He shut up. 
“Penelope has something, you head in Spencer, yeah?” You smiled at Spencer and he nodded and went inside. “What the fuck are you playing at Aaron?”
Aaron sighed, then grabbed your waist and pulled you in to kiss him. This wasn’t like any kiss before. It was heavy, passionate and all-consuming. You smiled into it.
“No one,” a kiss to your lips. “Should,” another kiss. “Kiss,” another kiss. “My,” another kiss. “Girlfriend,” he finished it off with a longer kiss, allowing his hands to travel and squeeze your ass, knowing it usually makes you open your mouth in surprise. Your gasp was swallowed by his lips as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, every attempt you made at pulling away was stopped by his large hands. 
“Baby-” breathed in between kisses as his lips latched onto your neck. “The team, they’ll see us-” 
“Fuck the team,” he said breathlessly. It clicked. 
“You’re jealous,” you stated, a small smirk on your face, Aaron rolled his eyes.
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out,” he tried to capture your lips again but you stopped him.
“You have nothing to be jealous of. Spencer is my friend, that's it,” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. 
“Honey-”
“Let’s go back inside, yeah?” You smiled and he grabbed your hand, reluctantly following behind you. You dropped his hand as you walked into the conference room with the rest of the team, but Aaron felt better. 
You were his. He was yours. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
criminal minds masterlist :)
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pit-and-the-pen · 17 hours
Text
Unrequited Love
A/N: I had to get to the airport to return a rental car like 5 hours early so I’m so sorry for the pure amount that I’ve been posting today but as a socially awkward girly, if I’m on my own phone then for sure no one is going to talk to me.
Anywho here is some angsty angst about day court!reader and Azriel. I’m thinking of making this like a mini series but idk who reader would end up with. (Let me know if you have any suggestions!)
Forgive any typos I wrote this on my phone.
Warnings: none
WC-1.4K
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My blood was boiling beneath my skin. Azriel has been complaining for the better part of an hour about Rhys gag order regarding Elain. I was trying not to roll my eyes as I had reached my wits end with his lamenting.
“I just don’t understand why he needs to meddle in this. I get she’s Feyre's sister but he doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he runs a hand through his hair and leans back in his chair. “I just can’t help but think that sometimes the cauldron gets it wrong.”
His words were spoken so plainly. Anger wanes for a second as I swear I could feel my heart break inside my chest. The words seemed to echo in my head Maybe the cauldron gets it wrong. I almost would have rather had him carve out my heart with truth teller.
“What do you think?” He asks me and I sit reeling over his words. I can’t think of anything to say to him. The comforting words I would normally have for him can’t get past the anger starting to cloud my vision. So I simply shrug, avoiding the question. Desperately trying to change the subject.
“So this new book I’m reading…”
“Oh c’mon.” He interrupts me. “I know you have something to say. And I trust your advice more than anyone else. There isn’t anyone else I would rather talk to about this.” His eyes softened as he looked towards me. Instead of melting under his gaze like I normally do, red bites at the edge of my vision.
“I think you should leave her the hel alone.” My tone is not gentle. He freezes.
“What?”
“She has a mate already. And regardless of if you think the cauldron got it right. Lucien is the one mated to Elain,” I tried to keep my voice neutral. “And Lucien is a wonderful male who has been through a lot of shit. He deserves someone as sweet as Elain, if she ever comes around. You should stop meddling.”
His mouth opens, when no words come out, he closes it again. You see the muscles in his jaw tick as he clenches his teeth.
“What has gotten into you? When did you become Lucien’s spokesperson?” He spits at me. His face starts to get closer to mine as he leans over the table, slowly starting to rise to his feet.
The sane part of me is telling me to stand down. That one of the most powerful warriors in all of Prythian was starting to get angry at me. My mate was starting to get mad at me. But I would not cave under his intimidation.
“I became his spokesperson when you showed no respect for him. Or for Elain.” I noticed I was starting to get to my feet. “What about what she wants? She doesn’t owe you anything more than she owes Lucien. Rhys told you to stay away from a girl you feel entitled to and now you want to mope like a petulant teenager. Grow up Azriel.” He flinches before something stoney sets in his eyes.
“At least I’ve actually told her how I felt. What about you?” My stomach drops into my knees. “Sitting and pining over the same person for a century.”
“You knew?” My voice was nothing more than a whisper. This was not happening. I should have left when I had the chance.
“It’s not like you tried to hide it. I thought at some point you would get the hint that it wasn’t going to happen but yet there you always were trailing behind me like a sad little puppy.”
My hands on the table started to glow faintly. My anger was finally breaking through the surface.
“You asshole. You stupid Illyrian bastard.” The smirk that graced his face fell instantly. “After everything that I’ve done for you, you want to use my feelings for you as some fucking weapon against me.”
Even I was surprised at the venom in my words but I was on a roll. “I sat by for five hundred years. I sat by as you pined over Mor, someone I consider my sister. I felt that bond go unreturned.” He completely froze at my words. Words I have never spoken out loud to anyone.
“Wait-“
“No. You get to hear this shadowslinger.” I pressed my finger to his chest and he stepped back like I had hit him. A small part of me wishes I had. But this. This right here is why Rhys kept me around. I didn’t need to throw a punch to put someone on their knees.
“I followed you around like a lost puppy and you loved it. Every second of it. I was stupid enough at some point to believe that it was because you felt it too. And I couldn’t get away from those feelings,could get away from you. Every time I tried I would damn near drive myself crazy and then you would smile or say some funny joke and I was right back to where I started.” I willed the slight shake in my voice to disappear. “You just wanted to feel important because the one you truly loved wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. Took other males into her bed, but not you right? So why not go for the next available thing. Me. Who cares if I got hurt? Who cares that I still fucking loved you through all of it? Not you clearly. You played me like a fucking fiddle and I played my part well.”
When I finally looked back up at his face I saw nothing but a shell of the male that stood in front of me. Even his shadows had retreated from his side. Looking down I realized they were sitting at my feet. I pushed down the glimmer of something I didn’t have time to think about at the sight.
“Please. Just stop.” He pleaded.
“Why? Because it hurts to hear? Fuck you. “And you think that didn’t hurt me too?” I watched him pale. “You didn’t think it killed me to feel that empty weight in my chest every time I looked at you. Everyday that I waited and wished that you would feel that stupid bond I’ve had to live with for the last two centuries.”
He gasped at my words cutting me off
“You never told me about that. I just thought it was… I don’t know… I thought it was a crush like how I felt with Mor”
A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I shouldn’t have had to! The whole point is that you feel it too. Bonds aren’t supposed to be one sided but for some gods unknown reason, you didn’t,” I felt the anger really starting to boil over.
“Every time I heard you rambling on and on about how perfect Mor was, about the females you took into your bed. I sat by all of it, for what? Three sisters for three brothers?!” I was screaming now, my hands shaking by my side
“What happens when she’s all fixed up too Azriel? When she feels this same thing I feel when she looks at Lucien. Onto the next one for me to hear about I guess . Always on the sidelines. Always the sweet face to come back to at the end of the day but never the one you want to be with.” I took a deep breath for the words about to come out of my mouth, steeling my nerves.
“I’m done. With this. With you. Fuck this entire gods damned city. I will not sit by and play second to whoever you deem worthy enough for the rest of my life.”
He held up his hand like he was going to reach up for me but the light that was glowing off my skin was warning enough.
“Where will you go?” Was all he had the nerve to say.
I let out a cold, twisted laugh. “Anywhere but here. Hel I could finally go home. Helion has
been asking me to come back for years now. All I know it will be somewhere where you can’t come and ruin another half a century of my life. Because that’s what you did. I wasted all this time on someone I knew wouldn’t love me. But I can agree with you on something, Azriel.” I paused long enough to see the hope in his eyes as he whispered “what?”
“That sometimes the cauldron does get it wrong.”
I walked out of that room with my head held high
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noted-aj · 1 day
Text
Feeling so tired, really falling apart.
hazbin hotel (some of) cast x gn!reader
comfort / angst headcanons
HCs for if the cast found reader crying in their room, yet they attempt to hide the fact that they were. reader is gender neutral, they/them are pronouns used along with Y/N <3
(SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT!!!) first post ever :3
characters included: angel dust, charlie, husk, alastor
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.・。.・
Charlie:
💌 - Charlie would definitely bring snacks or things that comfort you to your room.
💌 - She can be a bit much at times, and my accidentally pry too much.
💌 - I swear, her hugs could probably comfort anyone within seconds. Just imagine a soft yet intense cuddle sesh with her
💌 - She wouldn’t want to be too pushy, but would definitely offer to stay with them and help cheer them up.
A light knock sounded from your door and a soft yet somehow still energetic voice followed it. “Hey, (Y/N)?..” A small sniffle could be heard from the other side of the door, coming from you. A strained “Yes?” you said. The door creaked open, your head staring at the bubbly woman who stood in your doorway. “I just wanted to check on you, you haven’t been out of your room all day.” You swiftly wiped the tears from your face “No, no, I’m fine Charlie. Don’t worry.” Charlie gave you an empathetic look and walked over to your bed, sitting down on the corner of your bed. “Tell me how I can help.” She wrapped an arm around you with a smile.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.・。.・
Husk:
🍻 - Husker is definitely great at comforting others, but doesn’t like to do it to people he doesn’t trust or know.
🍻 - He would be similar to a father figure just letting you rant about what happened, but not trying to shut down your problems.
🍻 - Asks what kind of drinks you like and make them for you, or have Charlie help him find comfort objects for you
The door to your hotel room creaked open softly, but loud enough for you to hear. You wiped your eyes and stood up defensively, taking a few sniffles. A cat demon looked down at you slightly, a melancholic look on his face. You sighed and turned away from him, giving up the attempt to hide the fact you were crying. “You alright, kid?” You nodded largely, not saying a word. He looked down with you and then back towards your face, turned away from him. “..Would you tell me if you weren’t..?” You looked away shamefully, still remaining silent. He placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a small smile “That’s okay. I’m here for you if ya need it.” He chuckled.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.・。.・
Angel Dust:
💒 - Depending on what you were crying about, Angel can usually always help in some way or another
💒 - His hugs are immaculate, he has 6 arms for a reason. And he’s soft as hell too.
💒 - He has a lot of problems as well, and I’m sure you two could have such a relieving vent & cry session together.
You walked up the stairs on the hotel lobby, not speaking a word to anyone in the lobby. You received a few concerned and confused glanced for someone who was usually striking up conversations, you didn’t spare a glance to any of them. “I’ll check on ‘em.” Angel walked up the stairs behind you, and paused before knocking on your door. He hesitated but eventually tapped his knuckles against the door and was met with a “Go away.” and a few sniffles. He opened the door lightly and frowned at your clearly upset state. “C’mon doll, you know you can talk to me.” He reassured and walked over to your bed, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on your shoulder.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.・。.・
Alastor:
📻 - Despite seeming so careless about everyone, he took pity on you when he saw your depressive state.
📻 - Will NOT leave you alone until you tell him what happened or why you’re so upset.
📻 - Someone hurt you? Done, killed. Someone accidentally hurt you? Also done, killed.
📻 - Won’t get physical, but will offer some advice.
(Similar to the last scenario)
You walked into the hotel foyer, looking around and only seeing Niffty dusting a window sill while Husk was slumped at the bar, his face stuck right in it. Alastor, Charlie, Angel, and Vaggie were nowhere to be seen. You saw this as a great opportunity to not talk to anyone. You sniffled and wiped your eyes with a huff, perking up the staircase and maneuvering to your room. As you closed the door to your room, you sighed and leaned against the door when you felt the tears come back again. All of a sudden, Alastor manifested in your room, towering over you. “Mind telling me about your melancholic facade?” He smiled at you, in typical fashion. “I’m fine, Alastor. Leave me alone.” He saw right through your persona, and his gaze narrowed. “Now, now, let’s not be hostile. Fill me in.” He sat down on your bed, patting a spot next to him.
authors note: i started this in early march and COMPLETELY forgot about it.. please request ideas, I NEED STUFFS TO WRITE BEFORE I RUN OUT OF MOTIVATION!!!!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.・。.・
154 notes · View notes
Note
Mumbo didn’t know much about his species or heritage (long story that i’m sure you can fill in yourself) that made S8 as surprise to everyone including him.
Really he should’ve figured it out when he would randomly get shorter or taller growing up or on hermitcraft (although that did happen less as he got older) that he chalked up to just inaccurate measurements
Or the fact that he once just woke up with bird wings in S6, he honest to god just thought he was really tired and had been around grian too much
Or the fact that when he’s hungry he’ll look more like the animal he last ate, but to be fair no one noticed it either, since it was only really subtle changes, that went away before anyone could really care about the situation
Or the fact that during halloween he didn’t make a costume… like he didn’t realize till after S8 that everyone else just made their costumes. i mean it was the same season he made a working feeling ai in a night, so being good enough at redstone wasn’t the issue (he just set a repeater at the wrong time)
but either way, he’s having fun purposefully shapeshifting to mess around with people. being just a tad taller than anyone remembers, looking more and more like the person he’s conversing with until they notice (he’s done this to iskall more times than either of them can count), or the running experiment he has going with his totally willing and knowing and consenting participant scar, where he pretends to be a different species everytime he sees him (so far he’s been an avian, an enderman, a warden, a vampire (no clue how he got away with that one), and a snail (grian’s idea)).
.
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sl0t4matt · 3 days
Note
i loved your marc guiu bf headcanons, if it doesn’t matter could you do one with hector fort? 🙏🏼
of course i can do one of hector!! thank you, anon for requesting!!
h. fort bf! headcanons
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❀ bf! hector that you have a matching tattoo with.
❀ bf! hector that acts nonchalant with others, but is a soft with you.
❀ bf! hector that begs for your touch after any minor inconvenience.
❀ “baby, i need you..”
❀ bf! hector that searches for your touch no matter where the both of you are like holding your waist when at a dinner with the barca team.
❀ bf! hector that could melt at anything you do. like looking up at him all smiley or laugh at his jokes (you also do that with your own ones).
❀ bf! hector that could kill if anyone looked at you weirdly.
❀ “that guy keeps looking, i swear i’m gonna punch him.”
❀ “hector!”
❀ bf! hector that would look for you anywhere he is.
❀ if he’d be in a room full of people, you’d be the first person he’d be looking for.
❀ bf! hector that would look after you when you would come home drunk after a night out with your girls, (taking off your make up before you go to sleep, attempting to do your skincare, giving you some pain killers and water).
❀ bf! hector who loves to cuddle with you. he would lay in your bed after a long day at training and just snuggle up on you also immediately falling asleep not even giving you time to yap about your day. as soon as he wakes up you start talking though. you’re sure he loves it though. he just sits there making some comments here and there but mostly listening to you.
❀ bf! hector who is actually socially awkward, despite his frightening looks and lets you do the speaking when it comes to meeting new people.
❀ bf! hector that will gossip with you about what happens in your town. no matter what you say (who did what and why, who’s dating who’s ex and who beefs with who), he’s there for it. sometimes even being so invested that he asks if anything happened again.
❀ bf! hector who’s friends are like yours and love you.
❀ bf! hector that loves to bring you up to his friends: how you would do this and love that.
❀ “y/n would love this.”
❀ “y/n also does that.”
❀ “can you ever not talk about her?”
❀ “no?”
❀ bf! hector that loves you playing with his curls.
❀ bf! hector who (with a little convincing) makes cute tiktok trends with you.
❀ bf! hector that has a picture of you in his wallet.
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literaila · 2 days
Note
When do you think in the family au that Gojo realized he was in love?
I live for your au btw, I’m patient and respectful, you should never feel pressured to update or post!!! But also I literally check every day to see if you graced us with more 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
satoru is sitting on the love seat in the common room, pouting.
okay, sure. he’s known for his ability to talk until the sun goes down, but honestly, he’s not that bad. really, he could talk forever, about whatever he wanted, to anyone.
but he was only explaining the mechanics of infinity. for… a half an hour, maybe.
his friends suck.
what could be more interesting than him? nanami’s recipe for onigiri?
still, when you walk over to him, flopping into the space next to him—which is occupying his foot, thank you—he brightens just a little bit.
is it so bad to want attention?
“you know,” you start, while satoru tries to dig his foot from under you. “if you actually listen to people when they talk, they’re usually more inclined to listen to you.”
“oh, is that how it works?” satoru grunts. “i had no idea.”
“clearly.”
“you listen to me, even though i’ve barely ever spoken to you.”
you raise a brow at him. “do you have amnesia? you sit outside my door on the weekends for hours until i let you in. i’ve heard you singing to yourself out there.”
“that’s not a conversation.”
you nudge him, a lax smile on your face. “being interesting also helps, if you want people to listen to you.”
“hey, i’m interesting!”
“mm…” you nod your head, looking away subtly. “for sure, satoru.”
“you’re supposed to be my friend, you know? friends don’t bully each other.”
you look back at him, tilting your head. “that must be why you don’t have any.”
at that, satoru’s lip twitches a little. but it’s not because he finds you amusing, no. it’s just that… sometimes you look at him and he—
it doesn’t matter.
“did you come over here just to torment me?” he pouts, arms still crossed. but his eyes are much more active now, his face trying to be a sly thing that it isn’t.
“no, you just looked a little lonely.”
“awww,” satoru leans down so you can see his eyelashes fluttering at you. “were you worried about me?”
“i could just already hear the complaining,” you retort, rolling your eyes again.
“are you psychic, too?”
“yup,” you pop, grabbing something from behind your back. “which is why i also brought you this.”
you hand him a blueberry ramune, which just so happens to be his favorite.
satoru gasps like a child being given their favorite toy, taking it from you immediately. he opens it, and then pauses. “wait… what’d you do to this?”
you scoff. “geez, satoru. do you get poisoned often?”
“i have many enemies.”
“oh, right. i forgot. you’re well hated.”
satoru smirks, leaning almost over you. “not by you, though. you like me.”
you push him away with a finger. “you just looked pale. like, even more pale than usual.”
“that’s rude.”
“drink up,” you tell him, but only as you try to grab it from him. satoru relishes the feeling of you leaning over him. “we wouldn’t want you to go thirsty,” you say, but with a sickly sweetness.
“this is not making me feel any less threatened.”
you laugh, sitting back.
“you even got my favorite one, too.”
“that’s just a coincidence. though, you would like the worst flavor.”
“this is nearing harassment,” satoru says. “if you’re stalking me, i’m going to have to tell yaga.”
this time when you laugh, you snort, and you lean over again, but only to clutch your stomach.
satoru smiles along with you, and he feels… almost alive. more than a vessel of power, for just a moment.
and yeah, maybe it’s not just attention that satoru likes.
maybe it’s you.
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scoonsalicious · 18 hours
Text
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Unwanted: Chapter 26, Unsurprising - Pt. 5
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of sex.
Word Count: 1.4k
Previously On...: Nat gave you some very interesting, and disturbing news.
A/N: ::giggles like school girl::
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
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“Buck,” you hissed, shaking his sleeping form. You hadn’t been on the phone with Nat for that long; there’s no way he should be sleeping this deeply already. “Wake the fuck up!”
He groaned and rolled over, looking at you through sleepy eyes. “Pocket?” he groaned, bringing up a hand to rub at his forehead. “I told you, I’m not just gonna fuck you if it doesn’t mean anything.”
You shoved him. “That’s not why I’m here, asshat!” you hissed. “Something’s happened!”
Bucky bolted upright and flipped on the bedside lamp. “What is it?” he asked, looking alarmed as he ran his eyes over your frame. “Are you alright? Are there complications? Do you need to go back to the hospital?” You were surprised that his immediate response was concern for your welfare, though you shouldn’t have been– Bucky had always been protective– until it came to protecting you from his actions, of course. 
“No,” you said, reassuring him, “I’m fine. Something happened at the Tower. With Carthage.” You quickly recapped what Natasha had texted you, adding the sparse details she’d provided during your call.
“So, she quit?” he asked. “That’s great!”
“No, baby,” you said, and if either one of you noticed the endearment that slipped out, you didn’t acknowledge it. “Fuck… I’m just gonna say it because I don’t know how to put it delicately: Jade’s an undercover Hydra operative and her mission was to bring you back to them so they could reclaim you as their asset.”
You weren’t sure what reaction you had expected from Bucky– shock? Anger? Tears? Any one of them, or, hell, a combination of all three, would have been more than appropriate and expected.
What you had not been expecting, however, was fucking laughter. You looked at him blankly for a minute, wondering if you’d looked this crazy when you’d started laughing after Dr. Carson had informed you of your miscarriage.
“It’s not funny, Buck,” you said, annoyed. 
“It’s fucking hilarious, doll!” Bucky gasped, tears coming to his eyes from how hard he was laughing now. “She’s a Hydra agent? She’s got TicTac followers, for Christ’s sake!”
You could feel your blood pressure rising in your veins. Oh, you were getting angry at him, now. “First of all, it’s fucking TikTok, and I don’t know why we have to keep having that conversation! And second,” you took a breath, knowing this was probably not the most appropriate time to start something, but not being able to let it go, “I cannot fucking believe that, after everything, all the bullshit you fed me tonight in the living room, you’re still taking her side, taking her word over mine, as if I would make an accusation like that without any fucking proof!”
Bucky’s demeanor sobered up in an instant, as if you’d physically knocked the laughter out of him. He reached for your hand, and you let him take it. “Oh, sweets, no– that’s not… that’s not why I’m laughin’. I believe you; trust me, I learned my lesson there. No, it’s fucking hilarious, because of course she’s a Hydra agent. It explains everything, actually.” He didn’t need to elaborate for you to catch his meaning– of course she would have only pursued him so aggressively because it was her mission objective to do so. He must have felt himself so foolish to think that she would have had real feelings for him. You thought for a second that the realization should make you angry– you hadn’t needed a secret agenda to love him, after all, but then, he probably thought you didn’t love him anymore, either; you’d certainly given no indication of it. Even now, he still viewed himself as so completely undeserving of affection, and that just made your heart heavy with sadness.
“I don’t think it was just her mission,” you said, not really sure why you were about to come to the defense of the woman who’d made your life a living hell, but also knowing that you couldn’t stand for him to think he was unloveable. “She had the perfect opportunity to incapacitate you and bring you back to them on the Russia trip.” Ugh, just saying those two words left a sick taste in your mouth. “You were alone, in their territory, and she… she had you in an extremely vulnerable position. It would have been so easy for her to incapacitate you there, deliver you to them. But she didn’t. Whatever her mission objective is, I’m pretty sure she’s got one of her own, and I think it’s just you.”
Bucky studied you quizzically. “Are you… trying to reassure me? Because trust me, Pocket, it’s no skin off my back if she never actually cared about me, though it does make me regret everything even more.”
“I just…” you struggled to find the right words. “I just don’t want you thinking the only reason someone would want you is because they were told to,” you said after a minute. “That they were pretending. I’ve seen the way she looked at you, and it drove me absolutely crazy, because I know that’s how I look at you, too. I’m just saying, in her own fucked up way, I think she does care for you, whatever that means to her.”
Bucky’s head tilted as he looked at you, eyes gone gooey. “Present tense,” he said softly.
“What?”
He held your cheek into his big hand, rubbing a thumb along the line of your cheek bone. “You said that’s how you look at me. Not looked. Present tense, not past.” 
You snorted; you’d walked right into that. “Just because I stopped trusting you doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you,” you admitted. 
“Pocket,” he said, leaning closer to you, “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay? If you don’t want me to, just say the word, and I’ll stop.”
“What happened to not wanting to be intimate with me if it’s not going to mean anything,” you exhaled. He was impossibly close now, but you hadn’t told him to stop. Not yet.
His breath teased your lips. “I think we both know now it’s anything but meaningless,” he said. His lips brushed across yours in a whisper of a kiss. “Tell me to stop,” he said again in a final warning, but you both knew you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. All you could do was close the millimeters of distance remaining between you until his mouth was on yours, begging for you to let him in.
So you did. And it was like a sudden summer downpour after a drought. A ray of warm sunlight breaking through the chill of snow clouds. The first blossom unfurling from the ground to signal the true arrival of Spring. It was finally coming home, all encompassing and everything you’d ever needed, a promise of sweetness and new beginnings. And it was over all too soon. 
Bucky broke the kiss, chuckling as you greedily chased after his lips with your own, a pitiful whine escaping them at the loss of contact. “Come back here,” you grumbled, reaching for him to bring him closer, but Bucky leaned away from you. 
“Told you, sweetheart,” Bucky said, pulling down the covers next to him and beckoning for you to join him in the bed, “I’m not gonna have you if I can’t have all of you. Now get in bed.”
Son of a bitch. He wasn’t playing fair. “Not sure how that translates to me getting in bed with you, Barnes,” you said, definitely crossing your arms over your chest. 
Bucky rolled his eyes and picked you up, gently depositing you in the space he’d made for you inside his covers, and you couldn’t help but let out a little squeak. “If you think I’m gonna let you sleep on your own when we have no idea where Carthage is, you’re crazier than I thought,” he said, pulling the sheet and blankets up around you. “Now go to sleep.” 
If you hoped he was going to wrap you in his arms and hold you close while you drifted off, you were in for disappointment. Instead, he left a respectable distance between the two of you, then, checking behind the nightstand to make sure his gun was where he’d left it, turned off the bedside lamp. “G’night, sweets,” he called softly before settling on his side, facing away from you.
“Night, Buck,” you whispered into the dark, more confused than ever before.
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 10 hours
Note
When will you post the y/n Meeks Martin x Ethan Landry post 😭
Right fucking now lmao.
This is my first post in a while, take it easy on me 💕
Secrets - Ethan Landry x Fem!Meeks-Martin!Reader
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: Growing up with overprotective siblings has made it difficult for you to find someone to be with, until you meet your brother's nerdy best friend.
Contains: Fluff, Angst, Some violence-ish, Oral - f receiving, riding, p in v, teasing. (If I missed something, let me know:)
A/N: If any of yall are familiar with Spongebob, I have the fucking suds and I'll be writing a lot the next few days lmao
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Your brother and sister were so protective of you. After some of the things they’d been through, you couldn’t really blame them, and you were thankful that they were always looking out for you. The only downside? They seemed to hate every person that asked you out or showed interest in you. You were sure that you would be single forever if it was up to them, because they didn’t think anyone was good enough for you.
Once they went away to New York for school, you missed them, but with there only being a one-year age difference, you knew you wouldn’t have to wait long before you’d be heading to Blackmore. You took the opportunity to finally put yourself out there and go on dates without the twins interfering, and you were starting to realize how right they were when they told you that the guys in Woodsboro weren’t really worth your time.
When you FaceTimed Chad to let him know that you got accepted into the same university as him and Mindy, he was beaming at the news. He was going on and on about all the things he loved about New York, and wouldn’t shut up about the pizza, but you tuned out everything he was saying once you noticed his roommate in the background. His hot roommate.
“Dude, my sister got in!” Chad yelled, as you rolled your eyes. He seemed more excited than you were about the whole situation. “Ethan, come say hi.”
“Fine,” he huffed, as Chad passed him his phone. He paused for a second once he saw you, but quickly pulled it together. It was awkward enough to meet someone for the first time on a phone screen, and he didn’t want to make it any weirder. “Hey, I’m Ethan.”
“Ah, the dorky roommate,” you said, as Ethan looked away from you to glare at Chad.
“Is that how you tell people about me? You say that I’m dorky?”
“If the shoe fits…” Chad trailed off before he tried to take his phone back from Ethan.
“Well, it was nice to meet you,” he said, passing the phone back to your brother.
“Have you told Mindy yet?” Chad questioned, a smirk on his face as he waited for your answer.
“No…”
“I knew I was your favorite!”
Once Chad and Mindy came home for summer break, they wouldn’t stop talking about how excited they were to take you back to New York with them. They were heading back early to help Chad move into his own apartment with Ethan, and Mindy was moving into the spare bedroom at Tara’s with Anika. They decided that you needed to come with them, even though you wouldn’t be able to move into your dorm for a couple weeks.
“I’m not thrilled about couch surfing,” you said, as Chad rolled his eyes.
“I’d sleep on the couch. You could sleep in my bed.”
“So, she’s staying with you for two weeks? I thought she’d stay at Tara’s,” Mindy said, “What happens when you want to stay over with Tara and she’s left alone with Ethan?”
“Oh, please. Ethan won’t try anything,” Chad said, as Mindy scoffed. “What?”
“What makes you think Ethan wouldn’t try something?”
“Because he’s my boy. He knows she’s off limits…I already told him,” Chad said, as you sighed in frustration.
“You know what? I’m not doing this whole ‘You can’t date so and so’ shit that I’ve dealt with for years,” you said, as Mindy cocked her eyebrow at you.
“You’re staying at Tara’s,” she said, “You’ve gotten a little feisty lately. It wouldn’t surprise me if you tried to get with Ethan just because we said you can’t.”
“No, I’m staying with Chad. It’ll be fine. Ethan doesn’t seem like the type to try anything,” you said, as she had a confused look on her face.
“When have you talked to Ethan?”
“Oh, that was when she called me first to let me know she got into Blackmore,” Chad smirked, as Mindy snapped her head in his direction.
“No, she called me first.”
They turned to look at you, “Who did you call first?” they both asked at the same time, as you shrugged.
“I’ll never tell.”
When you made it to New York, you were exhausted. You couldn’t sleep on the five-hour flight, and the jet lag was really starting to get to you as you went to the baggage claim area to get your stuff.
“When’s your furniture getting delivered?” Mindy asked, as Chad checked his phone.
“Soon. Ethan’s here somewhere,” Chad said, glancing around for his friend that was taking you back to your new home for the next two weeks.
“I think that’s him,” you said, pointing to the guy with the huge sign that said ‘Meeks-Martin’. “Is he always that lame?”
“Yeah, poor dude can’t get a girlfriend to save his life because he’s that cheesy,” Chad said, as he walked over and took the sign from him. “We’re just going to put this in the trash.”
“Hey, it took me two minutes to make that,” Ethan said, as he glanced over to you. He noticed you struggling with your luggage and carryon. “Can I help you with that?”
“I got it,” Mindy said, grabbing the large suitcase from you. She stared Ethan down for a second before she walked past him.
“How do you deal with them?” Ethan asked, as you sleepily smiled at him.
“They’re not that bad.”
As Ethan drove, Mindy was in the backseat arguing with Chad as he sat in the passenger seat about how you staying at Tara’s would be best. You sighed as they bickered, before you noticed that Ethan kept glancing back at you in the rear-view mirror. You thought he was even more attractive in person and thought about how hard the next couple weeks could potentially be with him living in the same apartment as you.
“Seriously, how are you going to feel when those losers leave the toilet seat up all the time?” Mindy questioned, as Chad scoffed.
“I think we’re housebroken,” Ethan spoke up for the first time in the drive as he glanced back at Mindy. He quickly looked away once he noticed her glaring at him.
“Listen, Landry. I know I won’t be able to convince her, so I want to make it perfectly clear that if you touch my sister, I will kill you.”
“What makes you guys think that I’m like that?” Ethan asked, the annoyance in his tone obvious.
“They think anyone’s like that when it comes to me,” you said, smiling at him as his eyes met yours in the mirror again.
You made it to Chad and Ethan’s apartment seconds after the furniture delivery truck pulled in. Once they opened the back of the truck, Mindy’s jaw dropped.
“I can’t believe mom paid for all this stuff,” she said, as Chad sighed.
“She didn’t. Ethan and I took out loans.”
“Maybe you should’ve asked mom. She paid for all my bedroom stuff,” Mindy shrugged, as Chad sighed.
“Why didn’t I think of that?”
After the stuff for the apartment was scattered in various areas of the house, Mindy got the text that Anika was at Tara’s, and was wondering when she’d be over.
“You staying here, or coming with me?” Mindy asked but cut you off before you could even respond. “You’re coming with me.”
“No, she can hang out here if she wants to. We’re all going out for pizza later tonight, anyway,” Chad said, as Mindy rolled her eyes.
“Are you two going to argue like this until I move into my dorm?” you questioned, as the twins exchanged their glances.
“Probably.”
“I’ll hang out here,” you said, as Mindy nodded.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Later that evening after you’d helped the two boys set up their new apartment, you were starting to get hungry. Chad wanted to keep working, and you eventually flopped onto the couch, sighing in defeat.
“I’m starving,” you whined, as Ethan walked into the living room and sat down on the free cushion beside where your feet were resting.
“Me too,” Ethan said, matching your whining as Chad glared at the two of you. “What? It’s been a long day. We skipped lunch.”
“We’ll leave soon,” Chad said, as you got an idea in your head.
“Orrr you could meet us there,” you suggested. “You know how I get if I don’t eat.”
“True,” Chad sighed, “Ethan, make sure nothing happens to her.”
“I won’t let her out of my sight.”
As you walked beside Ethan, he started to make small talk. By the time you made it to the restaurant, you were in a full-blown conversation about all the interests you both had, and he was proud of himself that he didn’t get nervous when he talked to you. You scanned the restaurant for your sister and Tara, but once you noticed they weren’t there yet, you and Ethan sat at one of the tables.
“Do you want to eat now, or wait?” he asked, looking at you from across the table.
“We can eat now, I’m so hungry.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
While you and Ethan ate the pizza that Chad hyped up so much, you were surprised at how good it was. You kept talking to Ethan, but you soon realized how much time had passed, and no one else had showed up to the restaurant.
“Where do you think they are?” you asked, as Ethan sighed.
“Okay, don’t hate me,” he said, as you curiously stared at him. “I kind of wanted to get to know you without your brother and sister making it seem like I was trying to get into your pants.”
“That’s really sweet,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “But if they aren’t here, where are they?”
“They probably went to the one on campus.”
“Did you trick me into going to dinner with you?” you joked, as he started to blush.
“I’ll be honest, I thought they would’ve come to hunt you down by now.”
As soon as those words left his mouth, Chad, Mindy, Tara, and who you assumed to be Anika walked in. Chad sighed in relief once he saw you, but Mindy just looked pissed.
“You know how many pizzerias we stopped at to look for you?” she questioned before she looked at Ethan. “Why did you bring her to this one?”
“Simple mistake,” he shrugged, as Mindy stared him down.
“Simple mistake, my ass. I told you Ethan would try something with her.”
“It’s just pizza!” you snapped, “Last time I checked, we weren’t fucking.”
Everyone’s jaws dropped at your words as the waitress brought the check to the table. Ethan took it from her, his mouth still hanging open as he looked at you.
“You want to split it?” you asked, as he shook his head.
“I got it.”
“We’re going back to Tara’s,” Chad said, as you stood up from the table to hug her.
“Hey,” you said, before you turned to Anika. “It’s nice to meet you. Mindy wouldn’t shut up about you all summer.”
“Aww, babe,” she said, pulling Mindy into a side hug.
“Look, as much as I’d love to hang out with you guys, I’m exhausted,” you said, yawning as Chad sighed.
“I really wanted to hang out with Tara.”
“I’ll walk her home,” Ethan suggested, as Mindy, once again, glared at him. “I can drop her off and go to Tara’s after.”
“No, I don’t want her left alone in an area that she doesn’t know,” Chad said, as you rolled your eyes.
“I can stay there with her, then. Seriously, I won’t try anything,” Ethan said, putting his hands up in defeat as Chad nodded.
“I know you won’t, dude. Thanks.”
As you and Ethan made your way out of the restaurant, you heard Mindy scold Chad for being so trusting. But Chad felt like he had no reason to think Ethan would do anything to betray his trust.
Once you got back to the apartment, you were tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep. Ethan was about to head to his room before you stopped him.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?”
“I thought you were exhausted?” he asked, as he turned around and made his way towards you.
“I just didn’t feel like going with them and being there all night,” you sighed, as he sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Why are you sitting over there?”
“Because if Chad comes home and sees me sitting beside you, I’m sure I’ll be moving out of here into an unmarked grave,” he said, half-joking as you rolled your eyes.
“Please. If it was Mindy, yeah. But Chad, I don’t think so.”
“Whatever you say,” he said, scooting closer to you as he turned on the tv. “You cool with something scary?”
“Mindy’s my sister, what do you think?”
“Scary it is.”
Ethan thought that after sitting through some of the goriest movies ever with the Twins, there was no way that you’d be freaking out over some jump scares. But once you were practically in his lap, your face hiding behind your hands as the scene played out on the screen, he started to laugh to himself.
“What?” you asked, looking up at him. That’s when you realized that you were practically on top of him and went to move, but his arm wrapped around you to hold you in place.
“Your brother and sister don’t get phased by this shit,” he said, smiling down at you. He started to glance between your eyes and your lips, and he was so close to making a move, when a loud shriek on the screen pulled your attention away from him.
“This is one of the few I haven’t seen,” you shrugged, “I wouldn’t be so jumpy if you picked something I had seen before.”
“I don’t think I believe you,” Ethan chuckled, as you turned your head to look at him again.
“If you want to kiss me, you should probably do it soon. The movie’s almost over,” you said, as he smiled and leaned down.
When his lips touched yours, you felt something different than what you’d usually feel when you’d kiss someone. You immediately felt the chemistry, and with the way his lips were quickly moving with yours, you were sure that he felt it, too.
Once he pulled away to catch his breath, he had a sweet smile on his lips. He definitely didn’t expect to kiss his best friend’s sister, but he was happy that you were bold enough to tell him it was okay. Another thing he didn’t expect was for you to adjust yourself so you were straddling him, as his eyes looked into yours. His hands moved to rest on your thighs as you leaned down to kiss him again. This time, it was way more intense. Your hands were in his hair as his hands rested on the curve of your ass to keep you as close as he could.
The second the kiss got deeper, you heard the sound of a key going into the front door.
“Shit,” you said, pulling away and jumping off the couch.
“Wait,” Ethan said, as he followed you. He pulled you in for one more quick kiss before you rushed into Chad’s room and shut the door.
When Ethan walked back out, Chad had just made it to the living room.
“Where were you?” Chad questioned, as Ethan glared at him.
“My room is beside yours. I wasn’t trying anything with your sleeping sister,” Ethan scoffed, as Chad nodded.
“Sorry, dude. I had to listen to Mindy talk about how much she hated the idea of the two of you being here alone.”
“It’s cool, just don’t accuse me of shit you know I wouldn’t do.”
Ethan felt a little guilty for lying to Chad, but you were the first girl that he’d actually felt something for in a long time. After days of stealing quick kisses and steamy make-out sessions whenever Chad was in the shower, the sexual frustration was starting to build. Ethan knew that he wasn’t going to initiate it, because the last thing he wanted was for you to think that was the reason he was spending time with you. Plus, you hadn’t been left alone long enough since the first night.
“So, I think Tara and I are going to a movie tonight. You guys want to come?” Chad asked, as Ethan looked over to you as you sat on the opposite end of the couch.
“I’m not really in the mood to watch a movie,” you said, as Chad cocked his eyebrow at you.
“You don’t want to watch a movie?” he questioned, as you shook your head. “What about you, Ethan?”
“Dude, spend time with your girlfriend. I’m sure she doesn’t want a third wheel tagging along.”
“Mindy and Anika are going, too. You wouldn’t be a third wheel,” Chad said, as Ethan chuckled.
“Your right, I’d be a fifth wheel. You guys have fun. I’ll probably just play video games all night anyway.”
“Okay, I should be back around eleven,” Chad said, as he made his way towards the apartment door.
As soon as he left, Ethan was on you, literally. You moved so you were laying back as he hovered over you, his mouth moving with yours as your legs wrapped around him.
“Hey, do you want to go to your room?” you asked once he pulled away to breathe.
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”
Within seconds, his feet met the floor, and his hands reached for yours to pull you up. He led you down the hallway to his room, before his lips connected with yours again. He backed you towards the bed, a small squeal slipping past your lips against his as your back hit the comforter. Your legs wrapped around him again, holding him as close to you as you could. One of his hands was running up your side over your shirt, until the material started to ride up. He gave you goosebumps as his fingers moved over the newly exposed flesh, before he pulled away to look at you.
“What do you want to do?” he asked, “Because if you just want to make out, that’s fine. There’s no pressure, and I don’t want you to think that I just want sex.”
”I know you don’t,” you said, smiling at him. “But if the sexual tension get’s any stronger between us and we don’t do something about it, I might actually explode.”
“So, you want sex,” he said, trying his best to not freak out.
“Yeah,” you said, as he leaned back down.
It didn’t take long for his hips to start moving, the hard cock in his sweatpants brushing against you. You gasped into the kiss every time your clit got the smallest amount of friction, before his hand moved in between your bodies so he could rub you over the shorts you were wearing.
“Fuck,” you mumbled against his lips. “You can take those off me, if you want.”
He quickly slid them down your hips before his hand went back in between your legs, rubbing across your soaked panties.
“You’re so wet,” he groaned, “Does kissing me do this to you?”
“Yes,” you said, as his lips moved to your neck.
Your bottom lip was in between your teeth as he slid your panties to the side, his finger rubbing slow circles over your clit.
“We’re here alone, baby. Don’t hold those pretty sounds in.”
Soft whimpers were slipping past your lips as his finger moved faster against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your pussy was already drenched, and you felt yourself getting more wet by the second. You whined in protest once he pulled away, but he quickly shut you up, a low moan falling out of your mouth when he easily slid two of his fingers inside you as he moved down the bed.
Your hands tangled in his hair the second his tongue touched your clit, his fingers hitting that special spot inside you. Your hips were involuntarily arching off the bed at the feeling as he struggled to keep you pinned down.
“So good,” you moaned, as he sucked your clit into his mouth. “Fuck.”
Once he started to hum with your clit in his mouth, you felt the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter. Your moans kept getting higher and louder, and he made the mental note that he really couldn’t sneak around with you like this if Chad happened to be home, because you were just so loud. He loved it, though. All the noised you were making went straight to his throbbing cock as he brought you closer to the edge. Once your pussy started to squeeze his fingers, he sucked harder on your clit, the feeling throwing you into an intense orgasm. He groaned as your shaky hands tugged on his hair, his fingers slowing as he got you through it.
Once you started to relax, he sat up to look at you as he slowly slid his fingers out. Your cheeks were rosy, your chest was heaving, and you were still a little shaky. He loved that he had that effect on you and couldn’t wait to actually be inside of you.
“Let me help you with your shirt,” he said, as you sat up and looked at him, your eyes still hazy.
“That felt so good,” you finally said, as he chuckled.
“I hope so with how hard you were pulling my hair.”
“I’m sorry,” you said softly as he shook his head.
“Don’t be sorry, I loved it.”
Once he got you out of your shirt and bra, and he slid his sweatpants down his hips, he walked over to the bedside table to grab a condom.
“You still want to do this, right?” he asked, as you smiled at him.
“Yeah.”
He slid his boxers down his thighs before he rolled the condom on and lined up with your soaked pussy. He took his time as he inched his way inside of you, a loud moan falling past your lips once he was all the way in.
“So fucking tight,” he rushed out, before he started with slow thrusts. “That feel good?”
“Yes,” you moaned, your hands reaching up to squeeze your breasts as he started to go faster.
You knew you were wet, but you could hear how wet you actually were as his cock slid in and out of your pussy. His eyes stayed on you. He didn’t want to miss any of the faces you were making.
“Can I be on top?” you asked, as he smirked at you.
“Yeah, babe,” he said, as he pulled out and laid down.
You got up and moved to straddle him, the whimpers flooding out of your mouth as you sank down onto him.
Ethan felt like he was in heaven as his hands held onto your hips. He had the perfect view of your face, your tits, and he could even see his cock sliding in and out of you. Your hands moved to rest against his chest so you could stabilize yourself as you rolled your hips, the tip of his cock giving your g-spot the attention it needed.
“Come here,” he said, as you leaned down, your bare chest pressing against his. You felt his hands snake around you to hold you close before his hips started to move, his cock thrusting in and out of you so quick that you couldn’t think straight. He was letting out soft grunts that could barely be heard over your moans. You were both getting sweaty as you clung to him, his pace not letting up as you felt yourself start to get close.
“Fuck, Ethan,” you whined, as you felt that white-hot feeling spreading across your body, your hands gripping him as he just kept fucking up into you.
“I’m almost there, baby.”
You didn’t think it was possible, but he went even faster. You were a moaning mess as he kept slamming his cock into you, before his thrusts got erratic.
“Cumming,” he groaned, as you slowly moved back to meet his thrusts as he got himself through it. “Fuck, that was…fuck.”
“Yeah,” you mumbled against his chest.
He slid out of you but held you close for a few minutes, his hands rubbing over your back as you both caught your breath.
That’s when you heard other voices inside the apartment. You shot up, your eyes looking down to meet Ethan’s panicked ones.
“Where are they?” Mindy asked, the annoyance in her tone obvious as you and Ethan jumped up to grab your clothes off the floor.
Ethan quickly took the condom off and slid his boxers on as you tried to put your clothes back on. It was too late, though, once his bedroom door eased open.
“Hey, dude,” Chad said, before closing the door once he noticed Ethan was just in his boxers. “Shit, sorry.”
Chad was embarrassed as he turned to look at Mindy before he realized something. Your shorts were on Ethan’s bedroom floor.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Chad’s voice boomed once he opened the door. This time he was able to see you, but you’d just slid your shorts back up over your hips. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He walked over to Ethan and grabbed him by the shirt he was able to put on in those few seconds, and you could see the fear in Ethan’s eyes as he looked over to you.
“Don’t fucking look at her!” Chad yelled, as Mindy finally walked into the room.
“Told you her staying here was a mistake,” she said, as Chad got angrier by the second.
“I didn’t think that my best friend couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”
“Stop, seriously. You guys are making this more than it needs to be,” you said, as Chad looked over to you. “Calm down, Chad. He’s your best friend.”
“Last time I checked, friends don’t sleep with their friend’s sister!” he yelled, before he looked back at Ethan. “I can’t fucking believe you did this.”
“Why are you acting like I had no part in this?” you asked, as Mindy scoffed.
“Yeah, right. I’m sure Ethan charmed you out of your panties just to get what he wanted.”
“That’s not true!” Ethan snapped, his fear of Chad kicking his ass turning to anger as his friend finally let go of his shirt. “I really like her. This has nothing to do with me just wanting to sleep with her.”
“She’s my baby sister, Ethan!”
“Stop calling me that,” you sighed in frustration. “I’m a year younger than you. I’m a legal adult. Nothing Ethan and I did is wrong aside from you two saying that he needed to keep his distance from me.”
“He obviously doesn���t listen,” Mindy said, as you felt yourself start to get mad.
“You know what really fucking sucks? You two are my best friends, but you won’t let me live. You won’t let me experience things. You know Ethan’s not a bad person…you know how bad I’ve wanted to hang out with him and get to know him better, but you guys won’t let that happen.” you ranted, “I like him, too. And if I want to be with him, you aren’t going to tell me that I can’t! You better not threaten him anymore, either. I’m sick of this childish shit.”
Your sibling stared at you as Chad nodded in understanding. He had no problem intimidating any of the boys that’d shown interest in you, but out of the two of them, he was the one that seemed to be the one that got you.
“I do really like her. I don’t want us to have to sneak around, but I’ll keep doing it, if I have to,” Ethan said, smiling at you. “She’s amazing. It’d be stupid of me to not want a chance with her.”
“Do we have to sneak around? Or can you guys be cool about it?” you asked, as Chad sighed.
“I’m cool with it. Just…no hooking up when I’m here.”
“You’re okay with this?” Mindy scoffed, as Chad rolled his eyes.
“Ethan’s not a bad person. If he really likes her, what’s the big deal?”
“And that’s why he’s my favorite,” you said, brushing past them to head to the bathroom.
“Told you,” Chad said, teasingly pointing at Mindy before she smacked his hand away. “Ow!”
“Ethan, you better not hurt her,” Mindy scolded, as he nodded.
“I won’t…but can you guys get out while I put my pants back on?”
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wineauntie · 15 hours
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do you have a blurb of evie meeting quinn's parents? I don't see it on your masterlist but don't want to have missed it if you've written it. Thanks!
I won’t lie, I planned a fic about it, and then completely abandoned it…so here’s that!
this is a continuation of “meet the brothers” but can be read as a standalone!
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word count: 1.3k
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"They're going to love you, y'know,"
You jolted in surprise from where you were shuffling around the kitchen nervously, your eyes landing on Luke, who scratched his head awkwardly. You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, as you settled against the counter.
"I mean, Quinn loves you and Evie, he won't stop talking about you guys," Luke continued, "Mom is already obsessed with Evie since Quinn showed her photos of him teaching her to play hockey."
"I love him too," you softly supplied, your fingers fidgeting with the cuffs of your sleeves. "I just...I want them to like us. It sounds pathetic, but I really really love Quinn and Evie does too, if your parents don't like us...I don't know what would happen."
Luke nodded understandingly, a sympathetic smile gracing his lips. "I get it. But trust me, Mom and Dad are easy to get along with." He added, "They're just excited to meet the people Quinn cares about so much."
His reassurance eased some of the tension coiling in your stomach, but the nerves still lingered. You couldn't help but worry about making a good impression. After all, meeting your partner's parents was a big step in any relationship…especially if you’d already had a child before entering the relationship.
"Luke's right," Jack chimed in from the doorway. "Besides, anyone who can put up with Quinn deserves a medal in my mind."
A soft chuckle escaped your lips at Jack's comment, grateful for the lighthearted distraction and as the minutes ticked by, the anticipation of Quinn's return with his parents grew stronger and almost unbearable.
Finally, the sound of the front door opening broke the silence, and you straightened up, your heart pounding in your chest. Quinn stepped inside, his face beaming as he ushered his parents into the apartment.
You tentatively stepped towards the hallway to watch as Quinn helped his parents with their bags. Your shaking hands were hidden by your sleeves, a small smile plastered across your face.
"Mom, Dad, this is y/n," Quinn introduced you, his hand finding its way to the small of your back. "y/n/n, this is my mom and dad."
"Hi," you waved but before you could say anything more, Ellen rushed forward and engulfed you in a hug.
"We've heard so much about you!" Ellen smiled, pulling away, "You're even prettier in person" Heat rose to your cheeks as you ducked your head bashfully. "Quinn has talked so much about you!"
"Way to bait me out, Mom," Quinn rolled his eyes, his hand interlocking with yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. You let your trembling hand clutch his as he ran his thumb over your knuckles.
You went to speak again but you were cut off by the sound of the rapid patter of bare feet against the wooden flooring of the apartment. Evie came hurtling around the corner, and straight into your arms which had outstretched to catch her.
“Mama! Winnie!” Evie giggled, hopping into your arms, her eyes focused solely on you as her hands clutched the teddy bear Luke and Jack had gifted her. “Giant and Jack go park morrow?”
You chuckled at your girl, understanding her broken words, a sense of pride filling you at her growing vocabulary.
“I’m sure Luke and Jack would love to go to the park with you tomorrow, but Evie, darling, you’re meant to be in bed,” you spoke slowly, your eyes filled with love for your daughter as her eyebrows scrunched.
“Winnie, leave and come home!” Evie batted her lashes innocently, her hands stretched out to Quinn. The man in question, stood with his body swivelled towards you and Evie, his eyes sparkling with care as he reached for Evie.
You carefully handed Evie over to Quinn, watching as the girl instinctively curled into him. You heard sighs of awe coming from Quinn’s parents, and you seemed to not be the only one to notice them. Evie’s head tilted towards the two unfamiliar people standing by the door, her eyes wide and cautious as she looked at you before looking up at Quinn.
“Win…who that?” Evie tried to whisper, her voice carrying over to Ellen and Jim, but before Quinn could explain, his mom stepped forward.
“I’m Quinn’s mom,” Ellen smiled gently, her blue eyes scanning the little girl. She pointed behind her to her husband before she spoke again. “And that’s his dad.”
“Winnie mom and dad?” Evie scrunched up her nose as she looked between Ellen, Jim and Quinn.
“Yeah, Bug,” Quinn hummed, holding her closer to his chest. “This is my mom and dad, and they’re here just to meet you and your mom.”
Evie made an ‘o’ shape with her mouth, her head bobbing up and down in an understanding nod. She straightened in Quinn’s hold, her small arm stretched toward Ellen, her hand flexing.
Ellen chuckled heartily, taking Evie’s hand in her own and shaking it, before squeezing it gently. Evie giggled at the grasp, her eyes lighting up in glee. Ellen seemed enraptured by her small smile, her eyes flickering the Quinn and you with adoration laced across her face.
You watched the scene unfold before you with a mix of relief and warmth. Evie, who was usually reserved around strangers, seemed to be taking to Quinn's parents surprisingly well. The tension that had gripped you earlier slowly began to melt away, replaced by an odd sense of belonging.
Quinn's dad, Jim, stepped forward, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched the interaction between his wife and Evie, who were giggling back and forth. "You've got quite the charmer there, Quinn," he remarked with a grin, his voice deeper than you thought, his gruffness more gentle.
Quinn nodded, his gaze flickering between his daughter and his parents, a proud smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, she's something else, isn't she?" he spoke softly as Evie nestled further into his chest, a yawn wracking through her little body. "I think this little one needs to go to bed," 
"Of course," Ellen practically gushed.
"See Winnie Mom and Dad morrow?" Evie's eyes were wide and questioning as she and Quinn looked at you. 
You exchanged a glance with Quinn, a silent understanding passing between you. Despite the late hour, Evie's excitement at meeting Quinn's parents had been noticeable, and you didn't want to disappoint her. With a gentle smile, you nodded in agreement.
"Of course, Bug," you said softly, reaching out to ruffle her hair affectionately. "We'll see them tomorrow."
Evie's face lit up with joy, her tiredness momentarily forgotten as she snuggled closer to Quinn. "Yay! Winnie see Mom and Dad morrow!" she exclaimed tiredly, her words muffled against his chest.
Ellen and Jim exchanged amused glances, their fondness for their granddaughter evident in their eyes. "We'll look forward to it, sweetheart," Ellen said warmly, her hand reaching out to stroke Evie's cheek gently.
Nodding at Quinn, you and his parents watched, as he carried her towards her bedroom, the excitement of the evening finally catching up to her as she yawned sleepily. After tucking her into bed and sharing a few whispered words of love, you and Quinn quietly made your way back to the living room, where his parents were waiting.
As you settled onto the couch with Quinn by your side, a comfortable silence enveloped the room. Ellen and Jim seemed at ease in your presence, their initial nervousness replaced by genuine warmth and acceptance. It was a reassuring feeling, knowing that your relationship with Quinn's parents was off to a good start.
"Thank you for coming," you began sincerely, breaking the silence as your hands wrung together. "It means a lot."
Ellen smiled, reaching out to squeeze your hand affectionately. "It was our pleasure, dear," she replied kindly. "We've been looking forward to meeting you and Evie for quite some time."
Jim nodded in agreement, his expression serious yet kind. "Quinn talks about you both all the time," he admitted gruffly. "And it's clear to see why."
You felt a surge of warmth at his words, a sense of validation washing over you. Despite your initial fears and insecurities, it seemed that Quinn's parents genuinely cared about you and Evie. It was a comforting thought, knowing that you had their support and acceptance.
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jarofstyles · 18 hours
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Illicit 10
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Here we are, babes. The last official part of the main Illicit story. It’s bittersweet because I finally completed something lmao but also, I really love them and their story.
Safe to say this isn’t the last you’ll see of them. I’m fully planning on doing little flashbacks and check ins with them, feel free to let me know what you would like to see/if you have any unanswered questions. Thank you for reading!
Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings
Illicit masterlist
WC- 3.3k
Warnings- mention of wounds, stitching, having children, marriage talk, nightmares, etc
——-
“Harry, for the love of god, please be careful of your arm.” Y/N winced in worry as the man carried firewood over to their fire pit. He had not been taking his injury half as seriously as he had been taking Y/N’s concussion, treating her like the ‘delicate little bird she was.’ He’d gotten an eye roll for that. Of course he wasn’t letting her help lug the wood for their night in front of the fire. She’d requested with sleepy eyes earlier in the morning to make smores because they’d been in her dream and Harry was giving her basically anything she wanted. 
“M’fine, baby.” He laughed, appreciating her concern but knowing the injury barely stung anymore. “The stitches are coming out tomorrow, and we pushed it, keeping them until then. Only kept them because you wanted me to.” 
It had been about 2 weeks since the attack and they’d left for the lake house. As much as he knew it was terrifying for the both of them, he was utterly relieved to have Katherine behind bars. He’d made sure to keep updated by his contact in the force to know what was happening with her case. Apparently she had really lost it, but Harry didn’t give a fuck. He wanted her to rot behind bars, to live miserably and have Y/N be safe without the threat of some crazy ex-who-isn’t-an-ex looming in the background. 
Harry had kept work to a minimum, only logging in to oversee the decisions he had to make. There had been no calls besides the nightly one with his COO to ensure things were running smoothly. Other than that, his entire attention had been on Y/N. They’d barely left the house considering at first Y/N had been a bit embarrassed of her injuries. Another reason he’d hate Katherine until the day he died. Harry always was one to hold grudges, he was infamous for it. She’d never know peace if the man had anything to do with it. 
They were healing incredibly well, Harry taking the time at night to set her on the bathroom counter and wipe them clean and apply the healing ointment to them. The only one that was more than a fading scab was the one on her head along with the slight discoloration the black eye had caused. Other than that, he was more than relieved to see her bouncing back. The only thing that plagued him still was the nightmare. 
His nightmares. 
They’d always start the same, almost a play by play of what had happened to him walking into the home and up the stairs- only when he got there it had been too late. In his nightmare, the knife had already taken Y/N’s life and he couldn’t do anything to save her. He always woke up before the knife struck him, but it actually hurt him. It was a little difficult for him to admit to her, always wanting to be the strong one when it came to their pairing- someone for her to lean on fully- but she had cried once he told her and insisted that she wanted to be there for him. That a partnership was made out of balance and while she could offer him some of the same things he did for her, she was more than capable to be his emotional shoulder to cry on. It had been a tough thing to come to terms with but this week seemed to be healing. Not just physically, either. 
“Ms. Greta, please tell him to take it easy.” Y/N pouted at the older woman who brought out the tray of s’more making supplies. She’d made sure to add the peanut butter cups as requested. 
“I’m afraid if he won’t listen to you, he won’t listen to anyone.” She chuckled. “Men will be men, and that includes straining their physical health for the macho man act. One day they learn we do know what we are talking about.” A little wink was sent her way as Harry huffed, arranging the wood in the fire pit with a grumble. 
“Because I’m fine.” He stressed, standing up straight and crossing his arms. “It’s healed up nicely. I’m more than capable of setting up a little fire.” Crossing over to Y/N, he stole a kiss before grabbing the lighter and a few other things. “Just sit pretty and let your man do the work, baby. I’ve got it.” 
There was a snort heard from both women but Ms. Greta was now off the clock, wishing them a good night before retreating into the house. As much as he loved having the woman around, he really was obsessed with this alone time with Y/N. There was the residual guilt he had over her being treated less than ideally because he was juggling the faux relationship and the contract, but he knew now that he was going to have to take a bit of a step back from work in order to do that. He’d delegate as he was supposed to be doing to begin with, assign more to his assistant, take Y/N more places and on more dates out in public. He couldn’t fucking wait to attent events with her and show her off. 
He’d been waiting months to let people know who his heart belonged to, and he was finally getting the chance to do so. It was obvious now since the articles had been a media frenzy over the attack, things leaked he couldn’t pinpoint. The only thing he had been commenting on was the fact that Y/N wasn’t a mistress, Katherine wasn’t his lover that was scorned, and there was no true excuse for the actions. It was a good thing in hindsight that they were there, alone. No one had a true clue about the location and he didn’t feel like being hounded by paparazzi- though hopefully they knew better now than to test him and his hatred for the cameras.
One thing that had been burning into him, though, was a question he’d been wanting to ask her. One he knew that was a bit unorthodox but a necessary one nonetheless. 
She sat across his lap, his hoodie covering her tank top and denim shorts as her legs swung slightly while they waited for the fire to burn a bit hotter so they could roast their marshmallows.
“When would you like to get married?” He asked. “And how many kids are we thinking about?” 
The girl nearly snapped her neck as she looked at him with wide eyes, the not so casual question leaving his mouth as if it was him asking what she wanted for dinner. Harry always did find a way to shock the hell out of her but this was definitely one of the top questions that had caught her off guard.  Secretly, she’d assumed Harry had that all figured out. He always made sure to let her know how much he appreciated her opinions and her thoughts, that they were important to him- but he was a planner. Harry was the man in charge and she was happy to let him be. It took a lot of weight off of her shoulders that she wouldn’t admit to anyone else actually weighed on her. 
“Uh…” She blinked at him a few times. “I’m not sure. Kinda figured you’d be the one to pop the question. But honestly… Maybe a year? A few months? I dunno.” There was a slight lump in her throat. “I’ve no doubt I want to be with you the rest of my life so part of me feels like I’d probably be fine eloping right now if that was something you wanted but… We haven't really had the chance to be a couple out in the open. While I doubt that’s going to change much considering we feel so strongly, I think it would be kind to ourselves to let us iron out some of the details first before we fully tie the knot.” There wasn’t a right or wrong answer but it still made her a little nervous to answer. “As for kids? I’m not sure. 2? 3? I’d probably say we have one first and figure it out from there.” It wasn’t like they’d have to worry about resources externally but she knew Harry valued family more than anything and he’d want to be an active father. He’d already indulged that detail to her one night when they were particularly loved up. However, neither of them had any children so they didn’t know the workload it would entail, nor did they know how they’d work as parents. Of course they’d figure it out but it would make it a bit more clear on how many they could handle.
“First of all, as much as I’d love to call you my wife right this second… I could never deprive you of the wedding you deserve.” Y/N had told him about the fact that she had always dreamt about her wedding as a little girl. She had pinterest boards full of themes and wedding dresses she’d want to try and cake designs. He wasn’t about to deprive her of those things for his selfish needs.. Harry knew he was indeed a selfish bastard in every other facet of his life, but when it came to Y/N and his soon to be family? That was his only exception. “My mum would probably keel over dead if I did that too. Trust me, you’re going to get your princess wedding.” There was no debating that. “And for kids… I’d love to give you many, many babies.” His tone turned smooth, a little smirk lighting up his face and the twinkle of his eye. “But I think I agree. My idea had been 2-4, but I’ll take as many as you’ll give me. Always.” His hand pulled her in so he could press a kiss to her cheek, muttering a soft declaration of love. 
“Love you more.” She sighed, leaning further into his chest. “I’m so happy that we can live our lives when we get back. I know it’ll probably be a little crazy but there's no more hiding. We can go out and hold hands and kiss, people are going to know we belong to each other.” The giddiness on her face was bittersweet. “I’m so excited to be with you properly.”
The tinge of guilt hit him full on in the stomach, making him frown as he looked into the fire. He knew he had fucked up several times on this journey and Y/N just had a lot of patient and given him a lot of grace when he knew for a fact most other people wouldn’t- but that made it feel a little worse. He’d been wrong in not ditching the contract immediately. “Baby?” He said, voice quieter as he met her eyes. “I’m sorry. Genuinely sorry that I’m a stubborn son of a bitch and I didn’t just dissolve the contract and take on a lawsuit. I should have done it the day I met you because I knew you were going to mean a lot to me even there. I… I know I’ve told you a lot how you were the first and only person to ever make me feel the way you do, but it’s more than that. And my hard headed shit got us into something awful. I know I fucked up and you are more generous than I deserve but…” His fingers tenderly moved the hair from her face, stroking her cool cheek. “I’m going to work every single day for the rest of my life to make it up to you. I’m going to make you the most spoiled, well traveled, happiest woman I possibly can.” His voice stayed quiet as he searched her eyes for any hint of resentment but somehow there wasn’t any there. 
“H.. I knew what I signed up for. You’d been nothing but honest with me the night I ignored you. You laid it all out for me. I knew that you were taken in name only and I liked you so much that I agreed. I never felt like I played second to her. You can say a lot of things about you, lovely, but subtle isn’t one of those things. You never made me feel like she was important. I understood how important your business was to you- it’s the most important thing to you. Did I like seeing you with her? No. But you made it so clear to me that I was yours and you were mine, I never felt like… I never had any competition.” Y/N tried to soothe the ache she knew he felt. Of course she hadn’t liked people thinking he belonged to someone else but she knew he loved her. The most she had ever been loved, the most unashamed. 
“First, I have a correction- You are the most important thing to me. I’d give it all up for you.” That wasn’t a sentence anyone could take lightly, nor one he would ever thought he would say. It used to be the truth, but now it was far from it. “You are my life.” His gaze bore into her own as he cupped her cheek.  “There was never any competition. If we want the honest truth, I thought I’d marry as a business decision. I thought I’d probably not have any kids considering I only ever wanted children out of love. I was happy working until I was gray and about to keel over. Business was my only reason for being, and it wasn’t something I minded- but you gave my life so much more, so much color, my angel.” He’d never sounded more fond in his life, looking at his heaven sent gift perched in his lap. “I didn’t realize there was more to life until I met you. You opened my eyes and made my heart soften. I give a shit about a lot more than numbers now and it’s because of you.” 
People could say he did it himself but he knew the truth. Without meeting Y/N his life would have been the same robotic function it had been since he got out of uni, and he wouldn’t have complained. He’d never know how much he would miss out on. “I thank whoever in the world sent you to me every damn day and you know m’not religious. You are my miracle. It made me feel so fucking sick walking in that house and thinking you were hurt, I have never in my life felt that sort of terror. But I’d do it all again in order to keep you.” The scar on his arm was a reminder of that. 
“I love you, H. The most in the world.” Her eyes watered a little as she smiled at him. “I’m sorry you got scared. I was scared too, scared she would do worse with that knife though I’m still upset you got hurt at all. But I’d go through every bit of it again too.” She sniffled, feeling his thumb brush under her eye as a tear fell. “I know I want everything with you. The marriage and babies and our own house with a pool, if that’s something you want too. You’re the love of my life.” 
“And you’re mine.” He mumbled, pressing his lips to hers. “M’gonna spend every day proving that to you. Just wait and see, my angel. My heart is yours.”  
—-------
Nails dug into Harry’s back as he rocked slowly into his girl in their brand new home. One he’d bought her as a surprise when they arrived back into the city, leaving their old memories behind in the other penthouse and moving on to the next chapter in the rest of their lives. 
“H-Harry…” She bleated, holding on to him while the other hand grabbed his face and pulled his face down so he could be kissed. “Thank you. You always take c-care of me.”
His pace as slow and deep, pressing in as far as he could go on the brand new sheets they’d picked out together. The sunset bled into their room as they breathed each other in, wrapped up in their covers on their first night sleeping there. He’d spared no expense making sure he got the best of the best for her. He was dedicated to the cause, dedicated to proving to her that she was the most precious thing to him in the world. 
“M’always going to take care of you, my love.” He nudged his nose against hers as he dipped his hips to get deeper inside of her. It was like they couldn’t get close enough to one another, her legs wrapped snug around his hips while he kept himself up with one hand, the other under her neck. The term making love was fully about this. It was unmistakable. “You were made for me.” 
He couldn’t wait to spend every morning like this for the rest of his life. The man who used to cringe at the idea of fucking anyone face first now had it as his preferred position, wanting to make sure he could see every second of her reactions to him. She was snug around his cock, taking him like it was her only job in the world. He’d had no problem doing only this for the rest of his life. 
“And you were… you were made for me. We’re made for each other.” Y/N nodded, pressing another open mouthed kiss to his lips as he kept the steady pace, hitting the delicious spot he always knew how to find. “You know my body perfectly. It’s yours forever.” It was both the truth and a bit of a taunt, knowing how much he loved when she spoke like that. 
“You are. You’re mine and m’all yours, never have to share me. I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” He whimpered as her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging on it as she was filled over and over again. He hit the perfect spot and was trying to get her to cum, trying to have her finish all over him so he could do the same and stay deep inside for a while. Craving this sort of closeness was an addiction, one he didn’t plan on cutting. The obsession with Y/N grew each and every day. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
The woman whined out his name at the last sentence, tugging him closer with her legs as she soaked up every bit of heat from him. It didn’t matter what happened, who tried to get in their way- they would always belong to one another. There was an understanding between both of them knowing this love was bone deep, soul deep, it only deepened by the day. When it felt like they couldn’t love each other more it just kept growing, no matter how full they felt. It was everything. 
A love like this was something people revered as pure, perfect, something that everyone craved and yearned for. Something out of a book or a movie, the sort of feeling that trumps all other people and situations. Their passion and yearning for one another had been cultivated in anything but pureness, it was made in the dark. It always made him laugh a little to know that such a concept had blossomed into a real, tangible thing that he could feel between their bodies, something he could see when he looked at her, something he could taste when he kissed her. 
A love that stayed between the lines wasn’t the type that grew stronger- that’s why he smiled when they called it illicit.
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pineapplecrushface · 16 hours
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WIP Tuesday
Something about Buck and Eddie hugging for the first time in like four years made me think about how affectionate Buck is and then this happened.
“Does it feel weird to you?” Eddie asked when Buck had returned with more beer. “Not weird. Different, I mean.”
“What, being with a guy?” Buck tipped his head back and forth in a so-so gesture when Eddie nodded. “Sometimes. I keep catching myself feeling like I’m not supposed to like something, and I have to train myself to stop.”
“Like what?” Eddie asked before he thought it through. He held up a hand. “No intimate details.”
Buck laughed, his entire face going pink. He ducked his head and took a sip of beer. “Well, that is part of it. But no, it’s more like…he, uh, he calls me baby. And he holds me. I don’t think anyone’s ever done that, because I’m bigger, right? And the women I’ve dated, they liked that I was bigger and stronger than they were. And I’m discovering I kinda like that too. But.”
“But it feels like you’re not supposed to like it,” Eddie said.
“Yeah. So there’s a lot of arguing with my own stupid hang-ups.” Buck sighed. “I really didn’t think I had that many. Not about masculinity or whatever.”
Eddie hummed, not quite in agreement, thoughtful. Would he feel weird about it if a guy held him? Probably a little. He wasn’t very physically affectionate at the best of times, although he found it easier after he’d been dating someone a while. Really, he’d only ever been perfectly comfortable touching a few people. Chris, of course, after the awkwardness of figuring out how to hold a baby. Shannon, when they weren’t fighting.
And Buck. He was very comfortable touching Buck, so there was at least one guy he wouldn’t feel totally weird about being held by. For a moment he imagined the two of them wrapped around each other and it warmed him so much he smiled down at his beer—he could almost feel it, Buck throwing his whole body into it and tucking his face into Eddie’s neck like he did when they hugged. But it would be longer than a hug, and they’d relax into it, breathe each other in. Breathe easier, probably, because they wouldn’t have to pull away. Buck would mumble Ten minutes until we have to pick up Christopher, and Eddie would rub his cheek on Buck’s neck and say You can fall asleep if you want to, baby, I’ll wake you up—
He just barely managed not to twitch so hard he spilled his beer.
“You okay?” Buck asked, leaning forward on his elbow and licking beer from his lips. “You were zoned out pretty hard.”
“No, it’s,” he said, looking around and patting himself down to feel for his phone, wallet, keys. “Uh. I just realized I have to go pick up some stuff for Marisol. A project. She has a project she’s working on and I forgot.”
It wasn’t a complete lie; Marisol did have a list of things she’d asked him to pick up at the hardware store, but she wasn’t starting until Saturday. Buck gave him a skeptical look like he knew her renovation schedule better than Eddie did—and knowing Buck, he probably did—but only nodded.
“See you later,” Eddie said, throwing him a distracted wave and fleeing—actually jogging, running away from his best friend, until he was in his truck and panting and shaking his head because he did not run.
Hmm. You kinda do though, he thought, and it was Buck’s voice, and he was right. He ran and would continue to run because this, this wasn’t a thing he needed or wanted. Right? Right.
But he couldn’t help but poke at it one more time to make sure.
Buck. Buck’s big body around him, his big warm hands sliding down Eddie’s back, Buck laughing against his lips, giving him every bit of his endless reservoir of affection and love. Buck loving him.
 Eddie scrunched up his face and clenched his hands in the air before he smacked the steering wheel. Shit. Shit.
“Okay, it’s fine,” he said, smoothing his hands over the steering wheel like it was mad at him. Everything was fine. He didn’t have to think about it. He was in control of his own emotions. He was not a guy who was in love with his best friend. He was a guy who could compartmentalize and ignore uncomfortable things until they went away.
And eventually blew up in his face. But that was for future Eddie to handle. He had Frank and several excellent coping strategies and Muay Thai with his best friend's boyfriend who got to touch him all the time. It was fine. He was fine.
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I have talked quite a bit about this in the past, but given where we are in the campaign now and what has just happened, I wanted to put down some thoughts in a maybe, hopefully coherent kind of way. Mostly the thoughts chase each other around in my head going “brrrrr” so here’s hoping they cooperate.
Since we have known him, Orym has been on a Mission. When he first linked up with the Crown Keepers he had been on the road, presumably on his own, for at least four years, possibly five. At some time during those years, Keyleth charged him with finding out information on the attack that killed Will and Derrig to make sense of what happened that day. Early on he’s quiet, thoughtful, reluctant to take the lead, and honorable to a fault. Even as he opens himself up to create connections with this motley crew, he still guards part of himself. In fact, in the time we see them together he never tells the Crown Keepers about his family. The only mention we get is when he is asked by the Wildmother if he will continue on and Orym says, “For him, I will.”
None of this is to say he doesn’t feel connected to his friends, who manage to take him on a journey away from his primary directive, and–given the fact that Orym was alone at the beginning of ExU–it’s safe to say these are the first people he’s connected with in a long time. It was while he was with them that he started practicing the Zeph’aeratam again. Being part of the group with Opal and Dariax and Fearne and Dorian and Fy’ra showed Orym that the world was bigger than his grief.
But still, he kept it to himself.
After the events of ExU Prime, Orym and his two best friends from the Crown Keepers, Dorian and Fearne, went back to Zephrah. A place that I would argue Orym probably had returned to seldom, if not never, since Will and Derrig’s deaths. It was sometime during this journey that Orym told them both about his family, likely the first people from outside of Zephrah to know their names and what they meant to him. These friends went with him to continue his Mission, to try to help him get closure. And when Dorian left, Orym kept hold of the means to keep in touch, because Orym had gotten closer to Fearne and Dorian than he had gotten to anyone since he lost his family.
I would love to know what, if any, kind of conversations Orym had with Dorian and Fearne about Will and Derrig, especially Will. Because as the weeks went on, Orym did forge bonds with Bell’s Hells, he did start to tell more people about the ones he’d lost, but always at a distance. He kept the memories of who Will and Derrig were to himself, even as he was honest about how much he missed them. Did Orym take the chance to tell Dorian and Fearne about what they were like when they were alive? Because it’s clear that Orym is bereft, and angry, and lonely, and goes to sleep every night with them in his thoughts. Is there anyone else alive who knows the secrets of what Will and Orym were like when they were together, just the two of them?
There is nothing secret about the pain and anger he feels, but what about the joy?
The Mission as it was originally put to Orym is over now. They know everything about how and why Zephrah was attacked. That doesn’t mean Orym is stopping, because Orym isn’t the kind of person who could stop when someone is in danger. But the single-minded drive toward Otohan, toward answers and justice or whatever Orym thinks Will and Derrig would have wanted from him in this, was the mortar Orym used to build up his walls. He’s standing on a precipice of a vast future and he’s alone because he has made himself alone. His grief has made him alone. And there are so many complicated reasons why Dorian is the one he is finally, actually reaching out to now that there is no more path to shuffle down. 
I’m not sure if Orym even knows who he is anymore without this grief, without this Mission. In his mid-thirties his whole adult life has been spent married to Will, or grieving Will, or searching for answers for Will’s death. In the middle of the world ending, how do you decide what comes next?
A million episodes ago Orym offered to be the one Imogen could lean on, and then, after she walked away, he reached out to Dorian on the Sending Stone. I think Dorian has been the one Orym thought that he could lean on for a long while now. And I think that is intrinsically tied to his Mission, this journey, and his grief.
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tommykinard6 · 19 hours
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I love your headcanons!
Why do you think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex and how does that show?
Also do you have any more ideas about the emergency contact one? Like the first time they get a call from the hospital...
Yessss thank you so much for asking about those headcanons! I’ve been wanting to talk about these.
I actually just got another ask about the emergency contact and I’m going to go super in depth for that, so stay tuned!
But why do I think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex? I’m so, so glad you asked. This is one of my biggest headcanons.
However! Please read with caution. TW: for a form of self h*rm involving sex, self hatred, and internalized homophobia.
Tommy was extremely closeted for most of his life. When he was at the 118, he couldn’t even accept himself. But at some point, he stopped being able to ignore it. For me, this might be when he realized he liked Sal (see my other post).
Now for some people, exploring your sexuality includes a *ahem* wild phase. To me, Tommy had two parts of this phase. The first one was…not great.
Tommy was a self loathing closeted man. He hated himself for being gay. He wanted to be “normal”. So when he stopped being able to ignore it, he thought he could “get it out of his system”. So he went to bars outside of LA (he wasn’t risking bumping into anyone he knew) and hooked up with any man who showed interest. He wasn’t picky. He was just more focused on getting out of this “phase”.
So he hooked up with a lot of men. And he didn’t care about himself at all. In fact, he out right hated himself every time. So it devolved. If something didn’t feel good, Tommy leaned into it because he saw it as punishment. He used sex to punish himself and to hurt himself.
I’m not quite sure about how he pulled himself out of it, but we’ll go with this. My idea is that he had a sexual partner who caught onto what was going on, that Tommy secretly hated something happening but refused to stop on his own. The partner shut down the event and when he called out, gently, Tommy on what was happening, Tommy broke down. The partner held him and listened to his garbled story and talked him through it. Instead of the hookup, they spent that night just talking, with the partner trying to get Tommy to see what was happening and get him out of the slump.
And it didn’t fix it. Tommy continued this pattern for a couple more hookups, but he started to get discontented and uncomfortable. Around this time maybe, the 118 got Bobby Nash and the dynamic started changing. Sal was gone and working with Hen, an openly queer firefighter, started to shift how he looked at himself.
So Tommy stopped the hookups and started working on himself. He couldn’t quite face himself still, but he worked on liking himself outside of his sexuality. He started laying down boundaries when he hooked up. And then he left the 118 and started therapy. He was ready to start over. He was tired of the pain and the self hate and the cycle he’d been stuck in for so long. He wanted what he’d seen others have. He saw Hen with her wife and he wanted a bond like that and he knew it could never be with a woman.
Skip forward all this time and he’s learned to be gentle with himself. He finally loves himself. He has embraced his sexuality. Maybe he’s still friendly with that past partner or maybe they never spoke again, idk. He’s had some relationships but nothing’s really stuck. Then he meets Evan Buckley.
He meets Evan Buckley and he feels the sun for the first time. And Evan is still figuring himself out and Tommy not only really likes him, but also wants to make sure Evan doesn’t make the same mistakes he did.
Does that answer the question? Let me sum it up.
Tommy used sex to punish himself and those were his first real experiences with guys. So even now, in healthier relationships and with better mindsets, he doesn’t do the hookup game anymore and is very shy of having sex too soon. He doesn’t have sex without knowing and trusting the person.
Y’all I have no idea if this made sense, but this is literally the premise of a story in my brain.
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lau219 · 1 day
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Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Part 10
Previous part here
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Stacy: Sure, no problem. Are you ok? Do you want me to talk to him?
Y/N read Stacy’s text message response before quickly typing out a reply. She’d messaged Stacy, explaining that she and Emmett had gotten in a pretty bad argument the previous night, and asking her if she could please come and get the boys and watch them at her house tomorrow, and for the next several nights. Y/N had no idea what she’d do after then, but she was just focused on the immediate future for the time being.
Y/N: No, that’s ok, thanks. I think we just need to have some distance between us for a while. I’m so sorry to ask you, but I didn’t know what else to do.
Stacy: Don’t worry; it’s totally fine. But just for the record, I think you two will come to an understanding much quicker if you just talk rather than avoid each other.
Y/N: Thanks, I’ll think about it.
Y/N set her phone back down on the nightstand after closing out of Stacy’s message and still not responding to the one Emmett had sent her earlier that day asking her if they could talk. She hadn’t answered the phone the two times he’d tried calling her, either.
Now early evening, she was starving, as she’d stayed holed up in her room all day watching TV to avoid being seen by him through her downstairs windows. But as it began to feel like her stomach was eating itself, she discreetly made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t happen to see her from across the driveway.
After what happened in her kitchen the previous night, she’d completely avoided Emmett after dashing back outside. She was both absolutely mortified, as well as completely confused, and she hadn’t even fully believed that what had happened actually happened, until she’d changed her clothes later on and the proof of their little rendezvous was evident on her panties. She’d blushed every possible shade of red as she’d dropped them in the washing machine, and she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, which was still the case today.
She was mortified because she couldn’t believe how easily she’d given in the second Emmett had grabbed her. Despite the way he’d spoken to her, the pull she felt to him was irresistible, and as soon as his lips had touched hers, she’d only wanted more. It was pathetic how easily she’d melted.
But it was also just such an awkward situation. They had still been fighting literally as they were having sex, and she’d willingly given in to the possessiveness and control Emmett had shown, and she was so embarrassed by how turned on she’d been. She couldn’t get the feel of his hands on her or the sound of his voice out of her head.
But she also couldn’t understand why it had happened at all, and why Emmett was so upset that she had agreed to Stacy’s set up when he had neither said nor done anything else prior to their little encounter to show that he was interested in her. She figured it was some weird, territorial guy thing – he didn’t want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her. Well, she wasn’t interested in any of the drama or heartache that came with that scenario. She refused to be in another situation where she hoped for bliss but was treated like garbage. If he didn’t want her, then he couldn’t have her.
Now, she just had to try and get rid of her unreciprocated feelings.
———————————————
Emmett had been completely restless since the moment Y/N had walked out on him the night prior. They’d been interrupted before he’d had a chance to explain anything to her, and after going back outside to the party, she’d made sure there was at least five yards of space between them for the rest of the night. Any time it was evident he was going to try to approach her to talk, Y/N moved away, her face flushing and refusing to meet his eyes as she wove her way around people and tables. Eventually, she’d called it a night and gone back inside her house, turning off every light, and when he’d tried to get in touch with her several times today, he got no response. He wasn’t even sure if she was home now, as there’d been no sign of life at her house all day.
He figured she was confused, and he couldn’t blame her. Remembering how she’d said that it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with her, he realized that the way he’d gone from pulling back to then suddenly being jealous, scolding her, and kissing her wouldn’t make much sense to anybody.
Well, he’d done a lot more than just kiss her, and as wild as the situation had been, Emmett couldn’t help but still be insanely turned on by the entire thing. He’d been on the verge of grabbing her the whole night, and once he’d heard about her date and had her alone in that kitchen, he wasn’t leaving, no matter how mad at him she was.
He knew he’d been out of line with how he’d spoken to her, but in the moment, he’d been too wrapped up in jealousy to care, and something between them drew out a side of him that wanted nothing more than to both worship her and put her in her place at the same time. He couldn’t get the feel of her body against his or the sound of her desperate little gasps out of his head, and that, combined with how he felt about her, was making this silent treatment she was giving him unbearable. He needed to talk to her so that they could clear things up, and if she wasn’t going to answer her phone, he’d have to figure something else out.
———————————————
Y/N was incredibly grateful when Monday finally rolled around and she had the distraction of work to keep her from thinking about Emmett too much. They still hadn’t spoken or seen each other, and she’d asked Stacy to come up with some explanation to tell Henry and Max as to why Y/N wouldn’t be around for them this week.
After returning to the ER after lunch, Y/N was quickly approached by Melissa, who hastily handed her a blood pressure cuff as she spoke.
“There’s a guy in Bay 12 with a bad laceration on his arm, but I just got called over to help prep for an emergency surgery. Can you go see him?”
“Sure,” Y/N replied as she put her stethoscope around her neck. “Any other info on this guy?”
“No,” Melissa shook her head. “He just got here; reception is still entering his intake form.”
“Ok,” Y/N replied as she picked up an exam clipboard. “Go ahead; I’ve got it.”
“Thanks,” Melissa smiled at her and then headed off through the double doors.
Walking down the hallway to the end of the large room, Y/N stopped in front of Bay 12 and looked down at the clipboard in her hand as she reached up with her other hand to grab the privacy curtain. Her head still down, she pulled the curtain back slightly and stepped into the bay, beginning to speak as she readjusted the piece of paper on her clipboard.
“Ok, so, I understand you hurt your arm,” she started. “Let’s have a look.”
As she finished her sentence, Y/N finally lifted her head, and her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw Emmett sitting on the edge of the hospital bed in front of her. There was a moment of silence as their eyes met and she registered that it was him, and when she spoke, her throat suddenly felt very dry.
“I’m gonna go get someone else to help you,” she said, and she began to turn again.
“Y/N, wait,” Emmett said, and she stopped. “Please, will you just do it? I’ve already been sitting here for 30 minutes and this hurts like hell.”
Facing him once more, Y/N looked at him for a moment. He was holding a paper towel to his forearm, and despite how badly she wanted to get out of there, she knew she couldn’t leave him if he really was hurt. Inhaling a deep breath, she set the clipboard down on the counter before she silently walked up to Emmett and stopped beside him at the bed. Avoiding his eyes, she opened the drawer of the nearby cabinet and pulled out some rubber gloves, feeling him watching her as she put them on. It was silent for a moment, and then Emmett spoke.
“Y/N, listen, the other night—" he began as he looked at her, her head still down. But she cut him off before he could finish.
“Sorry, there’s no talking allowed back here,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled some cleansing pads and gauze from the drawer. She still refused to meet his eyes.
“Y/N, we need to ta—”
“Shhh!” she cut him off again, her face burning with embarrassment.
“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually,” he said.
She just shook her head and pursed her lips, saying nothing as she gingerly gripped his hand and lifted it along with the paper towel he was holding to his forearm. But upon revealing his arm, she saw that he had nothing more than a small scratch that had barely even drawn blood, let alone required an ER visit. Lifting her head slowly, she narrowed her eyes at him as she realized the trick he’d played.
“You wouldn’t answer my calls,” he said by way of explanation, but Y/N just narrowed her eyes again.
“You can leave the same way you came in,” she said as she pulled off her gloves. She would kill Melissa for helping him pull this little stunt and sending her to see him.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Emmett responded.
“Then you’re gonna be here a while,” Y/N replied, and she began to turn around. But before she could take a full step, Emmett reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
“We need to talk about what happened the other night,” he said.
She shook her head feverishly.
“No, we don’t. We never need to talk about it. In fact, forget it even happened.”
Emmett looked her in the eyes.
“There’s no way I’m ever going to forget it,” he said. “And I don’t want to.”
Y/N felt the blush creep from the base of her throat to the roots of her hair.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked him, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. “Haven’t you embarrassed me enough?”
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Emmett said. “I’m trying to explain myself.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” Y/N replied. “I know it was just some territorial thing. But if you don’t want me, then you don’t get to do that.”
“Who said I don’t want you?” Emmett responded, looking into her eyes.
Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared back at him, speechless.
“I didn’t want you to feel pressured,” Emmett began explaining. “I know what you’ve been through, and even though it seemed like we were on the same page, I didn’t know for sure, and so I thought I should give you space.” He paused. “But then, I found out you agreed to Stacy’s set up.”
Turning, Y/N began to put the supplies she’d retrieved back in the drawer, not looking at him.
“Yes, I did, but not because I wanted to,” she said.
“Then why did you?” Emmett asked her.
Y/N turned back towards him but looked down at the floor.
“I was trying to get over you,” she replied quietly. “I thought maybe something was…happening with us, but then you got distant, and so I figured you decided you didn’t really want me.”
At that, Emmett reached out and gently grabbed her hand, and Y/N lifted her head to look at him.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said to her.
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as they looked at each other and he pulled her slightly closer.
“You have no idea how much I want you,” he continued, his voice lowered, conscious of the fact of where they were, but needing to tell her nonetheless. “And if anything I did made you question that or start putting yourself down, then I need to know how to convince you that you’re perfect, because I know how you talk down to yourself.”
Y/N blushed and shook her head, unsure how to respond. Absentmindedly, she began moving her hand around in his, their fingers playing together as she looked down.
“I’m not perfect,” she said quietly. “Not even close.”
Emmett pulled her even closer, bringing her between his legs before tugging his hand out of hers and instead lifting it to her face. As he cupped her cheek, he could feel the heat from her blush as he looked into her eyes.
“A woman who’s completely selfless, warm, loving to a fault, and sexy?” he raised his eyebrows and paused for emphasis. “I think that’s the definition of perfect.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding so hard that she guessed the thumping of her chest was visible under her scrub top. Emmett then gave her a small smile as he quickly looked down at her lips, and then back up to her eyes again.
“The added fact that you’re a sassy little piece of work just means there’s never a dull moment,” he finished.
Y/N’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red as she remembered how he’d called her sassy as he’d been between her legs in her kitchen the other night. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was remembering the same moment, but before she could let herself get any more embarrassed, Emmett pulled her the rest of the way to him and gently placed his lips on hers.
Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her, and when he slipped his other arm around her waist, she lifted a hand and braced it on his chest. Kissing him, his arm around her, felt like finally arriving somewhere she was meant to be, and she didn’t want it to end. When Emmett eventually pulled back, he smiled again as she opened her eyes.
“I know you hate having me as a neighbor, my hands are never clean enough, and you’re a better parent to my own kids than I am, but is there any chance you’d consider canceling that blind date?” he said to her.
But Y/N suddenly frowned and looked at him in disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” she asked him incredulously. “You are an amazing father.”
Emmett just scoffed and shook his head.
“You are,” Y/N said. “Emmett, the fact that you have raised them on your own for this long, and they have turned into such wonderful kids, is just proof of how amazing of a father you are. I know firsthand how hard you work, and how much you’re there for them. If you think you’re not doing a great job, then maybe I should send you down the hall to have an MRI, because clearly, there’s something wrong in your head.”
At that, Emmett breathed out a laugh and pulled her closer again.
“How can you put yourself down so much but then say something like that about me?” he asked her.
“Because it’s true,” she replied as she looked at him. “You’re teaching them to be just as hardworking, kind, and good as you are. I’ve seen it. And if you weren’t so great, they wouldn’t be, either. But they are.”
Emmett squeezed her waist as he looked at her.
“You realize the impact you’ve had on them?” he said. “They adore you.”
The love was obvious in Y/N’s eyes.
“I’m sorry if I’ve ever overstepped,” she said gently. “But I just can’t help but want to take care of them.”
Emmett didn’t know how it was possible for someone to be so incredible, but he did know that he would do whatever he could to try and show her how amazing she was.
“What about you?” he said. “If you ask me, it’s about time someone took care of you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, Emmett continued before she could say anything.
“And don’t you dare say you’re not important,” he said.
Y/N pursed her lips, as that was exactly what she was about to say.
“We’re gonna have to fix that,” Emmett finished, referring to the way she belittled herself.
He then pulled her closer once more and kissed her again, and as Y/N leaned into him, his hands rested on her hips. After a moment, he pulled away just enough for their lips to part, and he spoke again.
“Come over tonight,” he said, his voice quiet but heavy. “No expectations – I just want to be around you.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding again.
“What about the boys?” she said, her voice a little breathy.
“I’ll ask Stacy to keep ‘em tonight...or for the next month.”
Y/N giggled, and then she looked down at Emmett’s arm and ran her finger over the small scratch he had.
“I don’t know if you’re in any kind of shape for visitors,” she said teasingly. “You’ve been through quite the trauma here.”
“If it’s as bad as you say, then I definitely shouldn’t be alone,” he replied, playing along. “Do you make house calls?”
“Not usually,” Y/N said. She reached over to the counter and picked up a discharge sheet, gently shoving it into his chest and then pulling away from him. As she drew back the privacy curtain and stepped back into the hallway, she spoke once more, giving him a coy little smile before she turned away.
“But I’m willing to make an exception,” she said.
@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @natalie--rushman @xsweetcatastrophe @hannibellector
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I’ve been getting more and more attached to Jason’s character so please indulge me. I will be having to section these off cause I’m gonna be talking about two pieces of media </3
Titans
I’m watching season three of Titans right now and, it’s a wonder. There’s a few aspects that bother me but overall I’m in love so far.
The season makes a bold choice by literally opening on Jason- a hero- doing drugs. Sure in season two it mentions Hank doing drugs because of Hawk and it does show him in the act of snorting a substance, but the difference is, he’s an adult. Hank is a thirty something year old man who has probably most likely killed people, Jason isn’t.
Yes, Jason is violent. Yes, he did assault police officers, but he never killed anyone. Jason may legally be an adult but he still acts like a teenager because he is one. He’s a traumatized teen having to deal with the fact that he’s repressing so much from everyone he loves. He never gets an outlet to discuss what’s happened to him with people he trusts.
A great example of this is when he’s about to jump off the the Titans tower in season two. He tries talking to Dick, he says how he feels and he try’s expressing himself, he tries so hard to get his brother figure to understand what he’s going through. What does Dick do? He flips it around and unintentionally makes it about himself.
The closest we get to him actually opening up is when he starts trusting Rose, telling her about his upbringing and starting to get comfortable with her, comfortable loving her. Then she reveals that she only met him because she was trying to manipulate him.
The impact of him turning to drugs hits so much harder. He’s just scared, he turns to anything he can to help. It’s so much deeper when it’s shown that the drug he takes isn’t heroine or coke or anything like that. It’s a drug that stops fear.
He literally felt so weak that he took drugs to repress his emotions to the point where he felt nothing, he felt nothing and thought he was better because of it. There’s no doubt that at this point in the story he’s addicted. Jason started using before he died and the madman who gave him the drugs started using them to manipulate him. I’m really interested in where the story is gonna go with it, I really hope it actually dives into withdrawal and how Jason would cope with everything going on around him without the help of drugs.
Comics/Animation
Overall with every piece of media I see regarding Jason and the batfam, it never really manages to depict Bruce and Jason’s relationship accurately, one of the good ones was that single episode of Titans. (in my opinion).
Me personally, I see Bruce and Jason’s relationship in a very complicated light.
When he first gets adopted, Jason views Bruce as a nurturing figure. He sees him like every child sees their parents, perfect. It’s like he can do no wrong. He’s Batman! And he made Jason Robin! It’s a perfect opportunity, he was being helped, he finally had a dad, one that loved him.
Before Jason died, he still very much idolized Bruce but not to the point of thinking he was perfect. He knew Bruce wasn’t perfect, he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. Jason couldn’t face the fact that Batman didn’t need a Robin, he didn’t accept that he could still be Bruce’s son without being Robin.
After he died and came back, there was resentment. He hated Bruce, despised him with every fiber of his being. Depending on what canon you’re watching/reading, there’s different reasons for why. Either Jason is mad that Bruce took Robin away from him before he died, effectively taking away his only coping mechanism, therefore resulting in his death. Or, he hates Bruce for not killing Joker. His father didn’t avenge him, he could care less about Batman having an obligation to avenge Robin as his sidekick—fuck Robin. He cares that Bruce, as a father, didn’t kill the Joker to avenge his son. He let his sons killer roam free, putting the psycho in Arkham won’t do anything. Or or, he holds resentment that Bruce couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save his sidekick, his son, his Robin. He failed.
No matter what happens between the duo, Jason always holds self loathing in his heart because of Bruce.
Across all forms of media, he always develops the thought that Bruce hates him. He always thinks that he’s the ‘least favorite/most hated child’ even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bruce loves him, Jason is undoubtedly the favorite child.
(Sneaking a Titans reference in here—) The fact of Bruce caring for Jason more than his other children, (cough cough DICK) is solidified when he takes the Robin mantle away from Jason. He’s trying to protect his son in a way he thinks is best. He saw and heard what being Robin did to Dick, he doesn’t want to put Jason through that. Even the line where Bruce says “I don’t want to make the same mistakes.” Jason perceives it as Bruce calling him a mistake. He lashes out and gets angry because he thinks that he’s being called a mistake. It’s not true, the sentence itself with the context of the episode and the episode before show that it’s not true. Bruce is calling Dick his mistake, not Jason.
Throughout everything, Jason sees anything negative that Bruce says or does as a direct attack on him, when he’s the only one Bruce actually tried to parent. Dick was treated like a weapon. Jason, as a child.
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