#it crave death and death only

[yergink]

honestly it feels ridiculous to say this, but stede giving up being a pirate is a good thing. i don't know how anyone could watch ofmd 2x07 "man on fire" and come away from it thinking that what stede really needed was to continue a life beset by danger for the sake of gaining infamy, and that him giving it up to stay with ed by s2's end was bad, somehow.

we all watched stede sitting at a bar declaring a bunch of strangers singing his praises his "friends" all the while his lover and found family were leaving him. infamy in the pirate world is cold and lonely and dangerous and it does not spare room for love or true acceptance. we learned this with ed and the persona of blackbeard. it is conditional, in the same way acceptance in traditional society is.

stede, briefly, performs well enough to gain that acceptance, but it is unsustainable, and in the end, it is hollow. and it's not too hard to infer that stede comes to this conclusion by the episode's end and into 2x08, in between getting his ass kicked by zheng in a self-destructive spiral. ed leaves, his crew starts leaving, and then everything goes to shit, and the infamy stops fucking mattering. all it's done is bring danger and drive the people he really cares about away.

him giving up piracy is not him giving up his lifelong dream purely for ed's sake, or anything like that. it is equally for himself.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd meta #marine blogs #sometimes--when you are someone with a very low self image--you desperately crave validation from strangers #and then you get it! only to realize it doesn't actually fill the hole inside you. #and it doesn't feel quite as good as you expected it would. #and imagine if in the search for that validation you'd driven away someone very close to you? #i just think that would prompt a very quick reorganization of priorities idk

[ilovebeingaturtle]

His pathetic ways and miserable aura have captured me

#tmnt #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 87 #tmnt Raph #tmnt Raphael #teenage mutant ninja turtles #‘Splinter Vanishes’ will always be funny to me because it shows that Raphael is the only one of his brothers without any hireable skill #like I don’t care that Mikey was fired 5 times as a TV Chef he still managed to make it AS A TV CHEF RAPHAEL WHAT /HAPPENED/ SWEETHEART- #still sang beautifully though the craving of death added spice to it

[noahstayed]

The Tarsus Nine being a group of people that seem like mostly kids that survived the unsurvivable will always get me. Even when I’m not on my Star Trek Bullshit.

#Star Trek TOS #It's the only movie I crave #GIVE ME the 9 children who saw the face of death and screamed 'no' and lived to be the only ones to tell the tale #The Tarsus Nine #Tarsus IV

[feedingicetothedog]

i know the date has passed but one of my super pedantic pet peeves is that claudia's birthday is not september 21st, that's just the day she became a vampire and i like to make that distinction bc the bit where she talks about it in qotd is so fucked up to me and very important for her character

like she doesn't have a history. or at least any biographical details assigned to her are only given to her based on how relevant her new guardians deem it to how they conceptualize her life. the day she was born into the world doesn't matter to them, that would hint at the reality that she existed for any amount of time before they knew her. the only thing that matters to them is when she became part of their little family

#w/o a last name or a birthday it's far more difficult (potentially virtually impossible) to ever legally prove that claudia existed #the only records of her (prior to the discovery of her diaries) are in the personal accounts of louis and lestat #her tragedy is that she craves independence but her entire existence is contigent on 2 ppl who consistently failed her #and continued fail her until she is literally killed. her story is permanently tied to louis and lestat's #she's never allowed to be free of them even in death #i know that michele rice's birthday was september 21st btw but it's very clear that that's not claudia's actual birthday #amc iwtv #vampterview

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Begging everyone to end their streams right now because ain't no way I'm gonna survive trying to watch 10 different 9 hour streams

#i talk #qsmp talk #I've been watching Jaiden today and I just saw Phil hit 9 hours #I crave death #I usually watch Phil but I'm supporting Jaiden because she's new to Twitch #Me naively yesterday: I'll watch the VODs for the new people later #me right now: SCREW THE NEW PEOPLE #I AINT WATCHING A 10 HOUR VOD #I will watch Phil and Roier's VODs with a bit of Cellbit's and That Is All #and that's only because Roier streamed a REASONABLE amount #wait. I lied #I'm gonna have to skim through Niki's vod I reallyw ant to watch hers #FRICK I wanted to watch Etoiles too #I aint watching all of those I'm being crazy

[arcsin27]

Now that p3 is popular again I’m bringing up my thing where I assign each game a corresponding fall out boy song again

Specifically this one for p3 because oh my god it’s perfect

#save rock and roll - fall out boy #fall out boy #fob #persona 3 #p3 #in a world full of the word yes (to death) I’m here to scream no #No no we won’t go ‘cause we don’t know how to quit no (pov you’re fighting an unkillable god of death) #makoto seeing everyone crave death like “how’d it get to be only me like I’m the last damn kid still kicking that still believes” #i will defend the faith (in life) going down swinging I will save the songs (yearning for life) that we can’t stop singing #UNTIL YOUR BREATHING STOPS STOPS STOPS #Youtube

[frecklystars]

customer and I talked abt the Barbie movie and she said she interpreted that Barbie had thoughts of death “on purpose, because she hated her life and wanted to be with Ken desperately but she was unsatisfied with nobody in BarbieLand having genitals” and “the reason why she didn’t love Ken was because they didn’t have sex everyday”. and THEN she told me the reason why she went to the gynecologist was to “acquire a vagina” and she was so serious. Her rant was like 15 minutes about Barbie becoming a human solely for sex??? Then she asked what I thought of the movie and asked if I agreed with her.

But I had to take a moment to process all of that before gently telling her the exact opposite of everything she said

#Suzanne they don’t have genitals they cannot crave sex and become suicidal bc they lack the sex I’m SORRY???? #listen I like the smutty imagines for the characters and i also like to HC all the dolls as aro and/or ace at the same time #(because you can be ace and have sex sometimes or all the time or none at all.) #but to tell me Barbie was having thoughts of death not because of Gloria’s projection which is literally what they talked about for #SEVERAL MINUTES OF THE FILM like a WHOLE CHUNK of the film is about Gloria’s depression affecting Barbie. #not only are you telling me you didn’t seem to grasp that part #but. her ‘acquiring a vagina’ no I think she appeared as a human With one already 😭😭 #the movie is about becoming human it’s not about Barbie being upset that Ken can’t fuck her #none of them crave sex I’m sorry they’re plastic dolls #and ok let’s say they did. let’s say hypothetically Barbie wanted sex so bad. #she wouldn’t have it with Ken she’d have it with Gloria if we are being honest here #or she’d scissor Weird Barbie #how do you watch that whole movie where she is WEEPING over HUMANITY #AND YOU INTERPRET THAT AS HER JUST WANTING TO FUCK SOMEONE??? LMAO???? #ok my brain cells are fried I can’t continue #barbie movie spoilers

[angelsaxis]

I don't know how people manage an unwavering faith in God because I see slavery and its effects And I see "every woman in human history is doomed to be subservient to men and have terrible, sometimes traumatizing labor pains in a range of shitty environments bc the First Woman was not smarter than Satan" and I'm like oh this is the loving god, the merciful god? Okay

And u point out the violence people get away with and enact and you get "god is good but we also have free will" but God has been shown time and time again to be willing to override free will. God has straight up dropped people dead before for breaking a rule. If you don't think god can do anything against free will why ask that no weapon fashioned against you shall prosper. Why were trafficked people's prayers met with a no but their traffickers demands were met with yes over and over and over again, for centuries? That's love and mercy?

#angel posts #why is their only consolation death and maybe eternity in paradise #but if you crave it thats bad #yet also heaven is a solace #which you cant get to til you die #but again if you want to stop living because your conditions #that god refuses to fix #are making you suffer unbearably #thats a sin!

[animentality]

Do you answer all the durgetash anons that pop through your inbox?

Pretty much, yeah.

Sometimes people send poorly worded ones, or ones that I actually don't agree with...but I'll still reply.

You can definitely tell which ones I like more than others, though, based on how complex my answer is. Or if I say something super gay, vs. more evasive or going completely off on a tangent.

But I don't want anyone to feel bad, which is why I'll answer them anyway. Don't want to shut anyone down.

#i tend to reply to most anons actually not just durgetash #its only anon hate that includes slurs that i delete #or if someone says something so stupid i cant even explain to them how stupid what they said was #the durgetash discourse scuffle of last month was basically a mess of me deleting anons though #like i was getting a lot of slurs and unfunny death threats #the usual kill yourselves #but those arent fun to reply to #i really only reply to anon hate thats funny to me #ill delete the other stuff cuz it isnt worth giving them the attention they crave

[mihai-florescu]

how long have u been running this blog (i love ur txts RAHHHHH thanks for spilling wtv is on ur brain)

Aw thank you! Ive had the same blog since 2014 when i was in middle school ^_^

#ask #anon #hashtag tumblr veteran #i remember the fan mail feature. i rember when they introduced dms for the first time. you had to be infected like a parasite with them #dont worry about it #what else...the ace exclusionist debates. sherlock before season 4 aired. Leelah Alcorn's death. mishapocalypse #the lizard april fools presidential elections. the fear of 4chan attacks. that feature that let you write dialogues i dont even know when #they removed it #the john cena memes and shoving breadsticks into my purse i have to go and goats craving the mineral #ive seen...ive seen a lot...the birth and downfall of countless fandoms. the resilience of the supernatural fandom to not die out tho #i was here when we made be more chill popular. the first wave of fans who only had an audio recording. joe tracz still follows me on insta #in the grand scheme of things me just saying whatever and having people engage with my posts is a recent development #like. from the last 3 or so years #ive always just been doing my thing. i wonder if theres anyone here from my bare a pop opera or falsettos or dirk gently days

[thislittlecowcanfly]

having an all or nothing attitude is rediscovering your comfort fandom from 10 years ago and plowing through a new fanfiction with a 400k word count and now it’s 4am

#im craving death #otnwas im looking at you #ren i am also loooking at you #TIME TO SLEEP ME THINKS #reine rambles #THE WAY IM ONLY ON CHAPTER 20 #i feel like ive been reading for YEARS

[beepbeepdespair]

i think they should rename powerwash simulator play hide and seek with dirt simulator. the last 4% of this job has taken me about ten years i think

#this ferris wheel is making me crave death i spent ten minutes trying to work out why one section wasnt done #and ive had to do whole ass logic puzzles working out how many pods to spin the wheel by to get some beams in range #AND the game lost my progress at 88% so i had to start again. youre only giving me 900 dollars for this? suck my dick bri #ok to reblog #beep beep gets personal #personal #textpost #text post #gaming #gamer problems #powerwash simulator #power washing #power wash simulator #simulator

[nananarc]

just realized that i have lived past the age that i thought would live

#hmmm #i mean not dying isnt a thing that i can celebrate #if only i can give my life force away to people who truly crave life #im not being suicidal at the moment #its just that i wanna talk openly and carefree without judgement about the fact that i do not wish to be here and not even in a sad way #i just am #kinda sick of the toxic positivity ngl #i am just indifferent about being alive as much as i enjoy the beauty of life and the world and nature #cryptic na posting #if another person tell me to “oh but life is beautiful and you should treasure it” and “be happy that you are alive” and and and #fuck off #i am taking advantage of life as much as a person life me can and im not throwing it away #but at the same time #let me be at peace with death and the end #allow me to think of an eternal rest

[bunnakit]

finally caught up with work. time to read fic before bed and tomorrow I'll hopefully get to spin the wheel of what will I check off my to-do list today

current to do list below the break

- WRITING -

joking abt kissing but then actually kissing PatPran ask prompt

VegasPete hand kiss prompt

Enchanté Saifa steals a kiss EP 8 blurb

Inspector M/Oat the spin off we deserved fic

cont GumpaYok timeloop fic

cont ChanGun tragic fic

ch 4 of The Lyrebird King

- GIFS -

moonlight chicken Papang set

ps I hate you Papang set

only friends Papang set

dangerous romance Papang set

home school Papang set

revenge from the past Papang set

mod Oat set

triage "in another life" set

- READING -

read Manner of Death

reread and annotate Reforged

#please feel free to influence my decision in any direction #i crave validation #triage #manner of death #kinnporsche #home school the series #ofts #only friends the series #dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #papang phromphiriya #ps i hate you #revenge from the past #bad buddy #enchante #enchanté #thai bl #thai drama #moonlight chicken #gumpayok #changun #inspector m/oat

[blurred-cat]

to you my footsteps fall toward a look in your eyes i long for here we bond over the colors of the beautiful tapestry of earth beneath our spark and those before spiraling down into our blood and core quakes reverberating encore as again the act begins once more heaving another breath without thinking speaking another word without blinking at the twitch of the brow or tightness of the face the haunches raised restrained intake plastic refuses to rot quickly when laid to rest in land and sand discarded product of a hand shaking and clenched gentle yet brisk for you my footsteps retreat away as yet again there comes a day when wholeness comes to picture dreamed context idealized as ignorance rings deafening within that hollowed chasm landfill soil covered painful spasm for a place i long for never found nor strode toward

#poem #poetry #i'm getting real fucking tired #of not having a place to belong #and friends that end up being #less than i really wanted #my friendships are valuable #but a lot of them lack the depth i crave #oh fucking well i guess? #i'm beginning to think i belong only with myself #it's a slow death by a thousand cuts #that most of my friendships end up dying from

[apricote]

suddenly i miss my grandma so much

#she died when i was 11 and i'm 26 now so i had a really short time with her #but she was the kindest woman i've ever known #like a total sweetheart #she made this apple cake that was her own recipe and it was the most delicious thing i've ever eaten to this day #every time we visited she made it #and i have a huge craving for it rn #and it made me miss her #i feel like i barely remember what she looked like anymore #it's been 15 years #and it makes me so sad #only my grandpa from my mom's side is alive and we're not rly close #and i see him like once every six months #so i don't rly have close grandparents anymore #and i'm so jealous of everyone who has :[ #living vicarously through my sims tbh #💬 #death tw #death cw #lmk if you need any other tags!