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#it does not have to become worse though
lovrbooy · 3 months
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i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go
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not-so-terrible · 11 months
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Konoha: Wow, it’s so great our double agent within the Uchiha Clan has the selfless Will of Fire, completely cancelling out the possibility for trauma, repressed emotion and deep love to trigger the Curse of Hatred and cause them to sacrifice the many for the few they care about. We can relax and leave it all to him :)
Itachi, trapped on a burning clifftop, wrapping Sasuke in duct tape in preparation to throw him over the edge: ~ I will kill our friends and family to remind ☽  you ☺ of ♬ my ☮ love ☠ ~
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barbieaiden · 8 months
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i can't really get over this shot of kas tbh it doesn't help that my computer keeps showing it in the photo tab when i press the windows button in the corner
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hanzajesthanza · 10 months
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obsessed that the one time dandelion ever actually felt guilt in his entire life maybe was not for the cheating, not for the cucking, not for the drinking, not for the whoring, not for the cheating (reprise), not for the avoiding paying his tab, not for the petty and minor theft, but he felt bad because he felt like he was not that good of a friend to geralt
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dutybcrne · 5 days
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Thinkings thinkings of Fatui!Kaeya have been reawakened in reviewing Arle's teasers/animations
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Whether it's Dad!Pierro or not; I do love the idea of him being left in the care of the Fatui/House of Hearth#//Tho timelines considered; he prolly would be in Pierro's personal care while Arle goes through her Traumatic Matricide Experience#//Doubt the man would want to leave him out of his sight; Khaenri'ahn/Alberich ties considered#//Or maybe he was raised/trained to fight under Signora. Or even for Columbina (her namesake's ties to Pierro's; considered)#//Tho also do LOVE the idea of Kae and Taru growin up together in the Fatui ranks and being the disastrous + shy boi duo#//Tho Kae'd prolly have less to hide/fear with them when it comes to his heritage. The strictness he'd be raised with though...#//Eh; Taru could bring him out of his shell even still jdbgfkf. If anyone can; he deffo could. His little wintry sunshine#//So maybe he'd grow into his peacock self a little more naturally; even if perhaps still out of necessity/for ease of his missions#//Less of a facade to hide his grief/missing pieces tho; more like the way Taru is charming & goofy to lower people's guards#//Still has his little habit of testing people deffo is Much worse and much more sadistic when it comes down to it#//Particularly towards fellow Fatui who disrespect him or their comrades; or just someone he ends up disliking in general#//Does 'test' new comrades; but is more willing to step in & help them if need be. Wants UTMOST trust; determination & loyalty in his men#//So will only ever take those who push to complete the mission at all costs; even themselves/willingly ask him for help when they need it#//Dislikes those who run; & LOATHES cowards who abandon comrades to save themselves; he WILL deliberately make sure they don't make it back#//Still employs his intel gathering methods as normal verse; but has preying mantis tendencies when it comes down to it nbcfjgf#//ESP if they try to take advantage of/blackmail him in some way. Or worse; those who betray him. He is meticulous & VERY ruthless abt it#//His signature is decapitation & an unmelting (Abyssal energy-laced) ice shard through the heart; around which he'd carve a stylized one#//If those informants keep being useful to him; they are safe; and treated so lovingly by him; spoiled rotten with gifts & favors aplenty#//Once they lose their usefulness...well; regrettably he cannot leave any loose ends. These become frozen as statues for him to keep#//'Precious mementos of lovers & conspirators'; he'd call them. He'd keep them in his private home in Snezhnaya#v; glacialis pavonis (fatui!kaeya)#//If he had to have a Harbinger title/name (maybe bumped up for when Scara erases himself); he'd prolly be l'Innamorato#//Fitting of his methods (is also the remaining role of Commedia dell'arte lololol). He is saccharine sweet; pretty & deadly as a belladonn#//Deffo would have tango-based motifs rather than waltz; would favor frost-laced roses. Might even leave those with his victims too#//Can you tell I listened to Rondo Across Countless Kalpas as I wrote this up jhbfjgkfhf#hc; kaeya#//I mean yeah lol. I have so many more thinkings abt this verse aaAAAA#//Am torn if I want his to use a Cryo Delusion; or have him with Cryo Vision and an Anemo Delusion. Do like that for Cryo Swirls#//Then his rage/scorn could be likened to a Blizzard. Do like that image. Deffo favors his Abyssal powers more tho; maybe THAT'd be better
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my fave initial reaction to masato people have will always be ‘ew’ because bestie i promise you it does not get better after this. this is his HIGHEST point considerably
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rogersstevie · 1 month
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one thing about me is even if i hated the book i just read i will still be defending the main character while all the goodreads reviewers go on about how whiny and selfish she is
#hi do you not understand she was 18 and did not get to figure out her own identity before becoming the wife of a grown man#do you not understand how postpartum works lol like she did a bad thing leaving the kid for a few months#but like. definitely worse things a struggling mother can do!#like she was doing all that with zero support because neither of them were connected to their parents at that point#and she didn't get to make any friends because as soon as she came into this city she got pulled into his life#and he's certainly not helping because he's always working and he thinks she has it so easy being with a baby all day#even though he absolutely DOES see how impossible it is to calm the kid and YET#and even when she leaves and he has to do shit himself and sees firsthand he still doesn't acknowledge it much#anyway that was a dumb book but it's like i always go looking to reviews for validation on not liking it and i see that shit#and i'm just like no no she was not the issue#it's literally like.........so many books i read where a woman is Going Through It#and is somehow expected to just be graceful and perfect all the time both within the book and by readers??? like what are y'all on#being rightfully unhappy about your situation does not make you whiny even when you're in the wrong sometimes you need to complain! damn!#and also she rarely did complain that's why she had to just leave because if she had said anything to her husband#about her struggles he would have dismissed her and told her to wait it out#god. i think it was very weird that i didn't see mention of the age difference in other reviews#literally. just graduated high school. he is 28. i'm just.
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yuridovewing · 6 months
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ok so the hollyleaf idea i got from last post... what if instead of being jaypoppy or ashwhite kits like ive been debating with myself over the past few weeks... dovewing and ivypool were hollywillow kits.
the PEAK of hypocrisy.
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moe-broey · 1 year
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Screaming crying throwing up curled up on yhe floor sobbing weeping ect ect I miss them SO much (PNGs with voice lines that live in my phone that I can look at any time)
#FINALLY picked up engage again and collected all the dlc emblems (from both waves)#saved veronica for last bc i knew she'd be the one i'd be the most autistic about#i love her she's SO funny. chronic baby disease. insisting we're working for her actually.#completely out of touch with her own emotions (FELT).#bloodlust.#she really does have the funniest combination of traits and i love that for her#but MAN..... her map and her EXISTING as a 3d model ON A CONSOLE GAME.....#getting this TINY glimpse into what askr/embla would look like in a 3d space........ (feel like the map is more modeled after askr?)#i feel so fucking rabid about it. frothing at the mouth. i am SO normal (LYING THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH)#i'm just imagining a perfect world where we also have emblem alfonse and sharena in a bracelet together.#i KNOW sharena would get shafted but indulge me. do not separate them first of all.#and second i just think it would be insanely interesting actually???? like. how is alfonse coping.#i think becoming a jewelry ghost would be on the top ten list of worst things to happen to him specifically#i think he'd put his all into serving whoever has him as now this is his responsibility. he is just as closed off as ever though#if not worse having to go through centuries of losing anyone he'd accidentally make any connection with#sharena is probably the only reason he's somewhat sane. she grounds him.#and also sharena???? ohhh i think there is SO much potential there!! she is always SO eager to hopefully befriend --#anyone who finds their bracelet.#i think being trapped in a bracelet has had the opposite effect on her. her desire for outside connection#and friendship only gets stronger. i think the loneliness stings more.#and i think having them together like. HUGE potential to put them side by side and see how they really do parallel each other#same issues different ways of coping. different reactions. i think their engage skill would reflect this. somehow.#also i think they'd both look soooo cute in the engage artstyle 😭😭😭😭#what the fuck ever. explode 💥💥💥
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salsflore · 6 months
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#its always the fucking chemistry projects that ruin my life#not ready to go back to school ... getting home late & eating the same food everyday & having less free time & hanging out with the same few#people i honestly! don’t even like that much.. zzz i don’t wanna receive my test results either – esp not for math#and i KNOW it gets 100x worse in a college/uni/work environment i think i’m just being a bit of a crybaby but i can’t bring myself to#look forward to anything at all. pass my exams & graduate yay ^__^ -> immediately go back and study some more#then i’ll have to get a job and afhjdkf... maybe i’m thinking too far ahead but it all feels inevitable anyways so does it matter if i am?#i don’t know why i’m struggling so much compared to my peers who don’t see any of this as an issue at all#was i cursed to be sad since primary school#i can’t even talk to anyone about it because my dad [ though he has good intentions ] almost always ends up feeding me a variant of#think about your future Or thats just how student life is. meanwhile my mom will begin a competition of Who Has It Worse?!#my sister has her own stuff going on and my religious aunt will say something along the lines of [ have faith & go with the flow ]#i wish i had someone to confide in but i only ever really have myself i think. it sucks cuz no one seems to get it at all#i know objectively thats probably not true but. ahh i feel so disconnected from everyone#cw negative#cw vent#i didnt intend for this to become a whole thing but i got carried away#💭
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bardkin · 7 months
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feeling like you're "not disabled enough" to quit your job or at least ask for accommodations fuckin' sucks
#venty tags because i'm angry and tired of my fuckin' job. ya'll are free to skip this one if you're not in the right headspace <3#my fuckin' rsd just really got to me today.#your muscles hurt and ache & they hurt enough to be noticeable more often than not.#you expect them to Stop Fucking Hurting SIX MONTHS into having A Job and they seem to have only gotten worse.#but they don't hurt bad ''enough'' to keep you bed ridden.#you get frequent enough headaches but none that are on the level of full on migraines.#they're enough to make you feel like shit but they don't make you physically ill.#so you go in anyway - even though taking pain meds does fuck all for any of it 90% of the time.#your brain fog is Bad but you can force yourself to snap out of it long enough to get a requested task done.#you're barely able to remember how to do multi-step shit that gets done Every Fuckin' Day and thus should be seared into your brain by now.#you're demotivated and depressed but you know none of your coworkers will Get It & you go in anyway -#so you almost have a breakdown at the end of each month but you smother it until you finally get home that day.#you're always exhausted no matter how much or little you sleep or how long or short your work day Actually is -#and every day is a fuckin' slog that only gets worse the later in the week it is.#& if you say anything about how much you hurt or how tired you are...#it's either brushed off or becomes an open invitation to infantilize and/or ''jokingly bully'' you.#you get told to ''toughen up'' or ''get better sleep'' and that ''you can do it.''#ugh. fuck.#i'm in a bit of an ''extremely fucked'' situation bc my work isn't corporate. it's incredibly close-knit & family run.#small business as hell being a service dog training thing.#granted - my boss is disabled / chronically ill so she May understand if i ever say anything.#but my fuckin' coworkers are Glaringly able-bodied & neurotypical. and they're the ones who do most of the ribbing. all of the ribbing.#it's not constant but it's consistent enough that my rsd has me somewhat convinced that most of my coworkers are probably sick of me.#i frequently have intrusive imagined scenarios where i get fired & at least one person says ''good riddance'' or something like that.#i'm a scrawny depressed queer who's only kind of good at sweeping up.#and i can barely do that these days without having to sit down every handful of minutes.#it's just kind of all around fucked rn.#i can't wait to get out of here.
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worm-wood-words · 7 months
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So I've been watching book reviews again, particularly supernatural romance ones since pretty much all my wips either are that or have elements of it and it's weird realizing that just by giving my main characters goals other than 'be in love with each other' I'm already doing better than some people.
Also like...having characters besides the main pair/group.
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steampoweredskeleton · 5 months
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#delete later#the decision between microdosing bg3 spoilers in order to msybe reduce the amount i will be overwhelmed when playing it#anf not looking at anything bc the interest level is getting to the point of i may end up having a panic attack#i saw one of the voice actors is from near where i grew up and got super excited bc no one ever knows my hometown and that#has NOT helped so now i know im getting pulled in whether i want to or not. so noe its just trying to mediate its effects#try and make it so i dont get so overwhelmed that i start having panic attacks and meltdowns#i think im just gonna have to stay away from his character completely until ive properly chilled. no idea why but any like#thing where my hometown is mentioned just makes me super syper super happy and that is like the QUICKEST way for me#to get panic level overwhelmed#its a really odd one and i really dont understand why it happens but it does#microdosing may be the wwy to go otherwise ill build it up to the point that i won't be able to play it bc of the anxiety#autism is wild i rly wish i didnt have it. in good news i problem solved very well today. it did make me so exhausted and#overstimulated that i couldnt do anything else today but hey. i still managed. im so anxious about next week. itll be fine though#also since i haven't had a media special interest for a hot minute ive been able to become more aware of the bits of it that are#unhealthy in terms of my mental health abd im gonna have to do a lot of picking abd choosing what to interact with#which is going to make media special interests straight up less fun but also i know that that shit can fuck up ny brain#way more than like bugs or folk tales.#one of which is avoiding stuff about the real ppl behind it bc cementing stuff ij reslity with real ppl can make things worse#in my brain bc i tend to gave difficulty seperating ecerything anyway#i daydream constantly and i need that to stay with fictional things bc if it goes into reality things it starts to get way worse#this ended up being a weird rant about how my brain struggles to stay in reality but that's fine ignore me
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year
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Poked my head into some of @mysticdragon3md3′s thoughts regarding popularity with DimiClaude fanon and am happy to say I’m here to Talk (tee em).
I also saw the post from the user saying why they were falling out of love for the ship, and... yeah. The people they’re talking about, the generalized group of people who do certain things, definitely bother me as well.
I love that you pointed out Claude is not flirty and is just playful. It’s not the DimiClaude fandom alone unfortunately with that though - it’s the entire fanbase that views him as a flirt. And, according to Twitter, a slut. Yeah. Yeah. I know what they... “mean”... but it is still not him.
Them being annoyed with each other is also fanon and a very strange one. Never in Houses did Dimitri come across as being annoyed or bothered by him. In fact, they have friendly banter! Dimitri doesn’t get specifically exasperated at Claude, but that’s just more so how he is as a person and he sometimes doesn’t understand playfulness. That said, he does not berate Claude the way he berates others. There’s one instance I can think of where he berated Claude and that was in the DLC when they were talking to Aelfric for the first time.
In Hopes, same deal in AG. In fact, he’s quite fond of Claude in AG. GW itself was a well discussed mess in a lot of ways, and even then as a ship they didn’t have a lot of negativity. If nothing else it was an odd opposite, because even as enemies when Claude admitted he couldn’t defeat Dimitri alone, Dimitri just basically laughed, smirked and walked away. That’s like... the worst of their relationship in GW and it’s extremely mellow.
I think part of the problem some dmcl fans are facing are the fanon version of the ship rather than what they’re like in canon. It is definitely true that part of the dmcl fandom has absolutely warped the ship into being something it really isn’t and never was in canon. There’s also this whole thing about Dimitri being the dominant, feisty one with Claude being the uwu blushy one and it’s just... not them. Not as a pair canonically, and not individually. When Dimitri gets “dominant”, he’s, uh, not in a good mental state. It’s a mental illness that makes him like that and personally I’ve never appreciated seeing people use it for a kink for a ship. Normally I’d say people can like what they want, but I get the feeling a lot of dmcl fans have absolutely pushed their views onto others and driven fans away.
I will also say have absolutely, 150% come across those kinds of fans. The ones who refuse to listen to anyone else, but if your headcanons don't vibe with them then you’re just completely “wrong”. Not only do they portray the canon characterization poorly if portraying it at all, but they tend to also bring it down a racist route, which is... beyond ironic considering they should be the last ship that deals with that based on their characters and stories.
Engage kinda went wonky with a good few things regarding the previous lords, so I don’t see Dimitri being like that as some kind of definite canon. Actually, even in Heroes their interactions are friendly and calm. The “worst” banter they had was their swim alts, while on the opposite end we have the brave alts who apparently hang out together outside of the castlegrounds, and for so long that they can’t be of any help in a search for someone (which like lol how long you gotta be gone to have no idea and can’t help at all lmao).
I think people see outside-Houses canon scenes like those and just... decide it’s their actual canon. Dimitri is not, in any way, actually mean to Claude in canon. That is unfortunately a very popular fanon. In Houses especially, when Dimitri doesn’t know Claude well in the mock battle he’s more like ummm hey Claude your defenses are open what are you even doing, more than being like ugh Claude you’re so annoying. In the real version of that mock battle though, a good few months had passed and their battle quotes are significantly more approachable and they clearly have respect for each other. Dimitri knows Claude likes to fuck around and be goofy sometimes, and he picked up on that and played along with it in the JP version (in the English version he simply picks up on it, but there’s no anger whatsoever and it’s just more oh okay I get it).
As far as Engage goes, ultimately I just see it more as an extremely condensed version of their mannerisms, and yes, they for some reason, especially in the localized versions, try to keep up the whole rival shtick when Dimitri never even felt that way about Claude, and he never gets truly annoyed at Claude. Ffs, in canon Dimitri literally drops everything after retaking his home from the Empire/TWS, and runs to go save Claude. Literally. The next day. While Claude is a little tsun about it (!), Dimitri is just “come on let’s go hurry hurry no slowing down pick up the pace we are saving Claude”, and that’s basically him the entire chapter except with the Arundel specific stuff. When he talks to Claude one on one, there is literally not a single shred whatsoever in any plausible way or in any damn universe any tension from Dimitri to Claude. He just wants to know he’s okay and relaxes once he knows Claude isn’t hurt. I mean literally, no, like... that’s them, in canon, in their Natural Habitat together and I have no fucking clue how the portrayal of them in fanon got so insanely warped beyond recognition.
Also, Engage kinda dropped the ball with a lot of stuff with the other lords. Hell, they’ve been unable to keep Ike’s character consistent throughout all of his non-canon appearances (Awakening didn’t seem too bad, but Fates was pretty awful for example. They can’t seem to really understand the character they’re writing anymore, and idk if it’s just because the writers have changed and such/aren’t the same as Tellius’ games had, or they just don’t care to keep him consistent).
They also try to make Sigurd sound wise and super helpful in every single solitary iteration of him outside of FE4 which is honestly just obnoxious as fuck lmao. Sigurd was naive, foolish, overly trusting, and far too kind and gentle for his own good. It ultimately was what led to him following orders blindly, having blind faith that his king was righteous and would give him the right orders (without realizing the court was very much in disarray during his absence and with several other prominent court figures away because of the war). Sigurd was too quick to believe in the good in humanity and that things would work out, and it led to him not realizing how wrong he was until it was way too late and he had to take shelter in a foreign country to avoid having to fight the same people’s armies who had the court’s ear.
Basically Sigurd is nothing like they write him to be in every. single. solitary. iteration. outside of FE4. 
(SPOILER here just in case you care lol. Or anyone who is reading this. Or if you’re someone who somehow does not know about the biggest known spoiler in the whole game) He has one little section of potential dialogue (i.e. it’s triggered by a very specific condition) that shows somehow ghosty Sigurd has grown more wise and understanding ??? while being dead ??? and somehow learned while being dead that the world do be full of grief and Stuff. (END SPOILER)
So they pretty much took like, two lines of dialogue from FE4 and made it Sigurd’s entire fucking character forever in every single game he’s been in since. If nothing else, let that be your insight on never to trust content you see outside of a character’s original game. At that point it’s simply fanservice because they don’t even know their own characters. If they wanted to write even a semblance of Actual In Game Sigurd’s Personality And Not Two Lines Of Dialogue That Are Completely Optional And Quite Honestly HIDDEN, it would be very easy and reasonable to do so. They choose not to, and then we get what they did with Houses’ lords.
Another portrayal I see too often is that Dimitri and Claude... argue??? I won’t lie, their Heroes summer alts was the very first time they even seemed to “argue”, and it was mostly just goofy nonsense that means nothing because they’re literally alts in swimsuits, and it wasn’t really them being vicious at each other. Meanwhile in canon, they’re always very calm and able to talk through their problems - even in fucking Hopes in the GW route. Even in the worst possible circumstances for them to be in, that is, as enemies, they were still able to talk it through. Barring Claude’s written in idiocy so he could be a mouthpiece for Edelgard and do her bidding by invading the Kingdom (which was literally nothing but plot convenience because Actual Claude would’ve reasoned his way out of doing that), even in the worst possible situation, they still called a truce and still worked things out verbally, calmly and peacefully.
Point being, this whole cat fight dmcl portrayal isn’t even remotely close to their canon selves, and normally I’d say, you know, like what you want and enjoy your ships how you want... but it’s pretty much almost entirely the people who view the ship that way that uh, attack people who don’t agree with them or insult them/laugh at them for seeing the ship differently. These are the people who make you feel bad, for enjoying a fictional ship of two pixelated characters kissing, because you don’t like the concepts in their head more than the way you’ve interpreted the canonical characters.
To be totally frank, I have a visceral hatred for the fanon portrayal of dmcl because it makes Dimitri out to be terrible and makes Claude some kind of punching bag for Dimitri in various forms. There comes a point where it’s like, you ship something and then there’s the point where you ship two characters you made up in your head, who aren’t the same characters you first started to ship, because you’ve warped them so extensively that they became nothing but a person’s OCs with their faces and some similar backstory elements at best.
#DCB Comments#not sure what else to put this as but yeah... the dmcl fandom is not that large tbh and#what it does have is extremely divided and a lot of the fans can be completely ignorant of how poorly they handle Claude#especially in a franchise that already poorly handled him re: Hopes#but also I know exactly the kind of people you're talking about... and they're also hypocrites so.#they're the ones who shit on others for having different views of the same ship and decide you are inarguably ''wrong'' for your takes#also mind you if you call 'em out for that they get uwu mad and it spirals from there bc then they gotta vent to their#uwu friends who do the exact same things they do. can you tell I'm literally speaking from actual experience?! :D#like yeah I get it... a lot of the dmcl fandom in particular is gross about Claude#I personally prefer Dimitri as a character for a lot of reasons but when I began shipping them I didn't love Claude /as/ much as now#shipping them got me to look more into Claude as a person and I started loving him more as well#thanks to loving this ship I got to know him more and understand him more /and/ that made me love the ship more#also like it's one thing to have AUs and modern AUs in fics and stuff... bur just don't do... you know... things worth side eying#also if you have to change the dynamic of the ship to make it how you like it then you... probably don't actually like the ship itself#it's the same as with people warping characters to create a personality put onto a face#it's what a lot of Edel stans even do. they make up who they want her to be instead of seeing her for who she is#and they like the made up version of her more than the actual version so in that sense they don't really like who she is in the canon#not all of them are like that and some DO like her for who she is (which could be... arguably WORSE in her case lol)#but it's the same thing with ships. they alter the dynamic and just want to use the pretty faces#which by itself would be fine ig. confusing af to me but fine. not fine anymore though when it starts becoming an actual fandom problem#ppl take ''fandom drama' too lightly most often imo. I don't think ppl realize this kind of bullying over the internet#has a lasting impact and that seeing words on a screen doesn't make them any better or worse than how they'd be irl#in a sense it makes it more cowardly if anything bc ppl fear no repercussions for what they say :/
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fandom-blackhole · 11 months
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dutybcrne · 5 months
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Even without his Vision, Kaeya is not wholly helpless.
If there was one thing he could appreciate about his father, it’s that the man raised him with full knowledge of self-defense as a child. He needed to be able to handle himself should they ever be separated, after all. Especially when it came to any Abyssal creatures they might face, or otherwise any hostile people they may encounter.
He knew all the best places to drive in a knife, what tendons to cut, how to best blind an opponent, and creatively so at that. He knew how to set traps and buy himself a precious few seconds more, how to use those said seconds in a fraction of that time. He knew how to use an opponent’s physical strength against them, how to counter someone with a Vision/elemental energy usage as best he could. To not let himself get caught so off guard no matter what, bc the moment that control was wrenched away from him, his disadvantages would be nigh insurmountable.
The man taught him to harness Abyssal energy, using a small fraction of it—no more than that, his father made him promise; never more than the necessary—to make swift little jumps through space, even to facilitate escape or victory, whichever he’d choose. In time, he would have taught him to use the elements through it too, as many Abyssal beings had done, as a particular last resort, but having been left to the Ragnvindrs’ care, he never got the chance.
Though it didn’t stop Kaeya from trying. Not wanting to be left behind after Diluc had gotten his Vision and wanting to be useful to him as his right hand, he tried his best at figuring it all out. Felt it tug at something deep inside him like a tether each time he tried, failing just as many, only managing the all too familiar wisps of Abyssal energy he was more familiar with. It was through encountering an Abyss Mage and coming in contact with the ice it conjured that he finally got a better grasp at what to do.
Only for him to realize each conjure of Abyssal energy-infused ice was nothing short of painful each time, the energy within him thrumming so much amid the curse he already bore as a Khaenri’ahn, so much so, it would frighten and dissuade him from using those abilities anyway. For a short time, at least, until he realized how well it helped in a pinch. Still, he became far more wary. Even with his desperation to try and catch up to Diluc, his father’s warning against abusing the Abyssal energy coursing within him burning brighter in mind with every use. Especially when a Pyro Abyss mage lingering about a domain tried to call his attention after he’d been pushed to use that power.
Nothing good would come out of using such an ability, he’d decided then—keeping to the bare minimum, like his father wanted would be best. He wouldn’t want to be so marked by the Abyss otherwise. Wouldn’t want to increase the risk of his attempts and powers being found out, certainly not by the family that had taken him in.
Is it any wonder he was so horrified to find it was a Cryo Vision that had come to him that fateful night?
#hc; kaeya#//Eh; shit pertaining to my Kae#long post for ts#//After Luc left; he did start using those powers again#//At first; it was more rather self-destructively#//Both in deliberately bc 1) he didn’t wanna even Touch his Vision & still fought as a knight as though he did—luckily having same element#//Even killed Eroch himself after revealing his heritage and power to the man—which he was deffo NOT proud of#//Didn’t realize how bad the abyssal energy would influence his emotional state to a crueler anger and vindictiveness#//As far as anyone knows; an Abyss Mage killed him—Kae bears that secret with Varka alone; tho the man doesn’t know abt the Abyss energy#//As far as Varka knows; Kae accidentally avenged Crepus via a Vision misfire in the midst of confronting the man#//And 2) unconsciously; when he’d end up freezing things when upset even when he’d thrown his Vision across the room#//It scared him a lot; since he wondered if that meant Abyssal beings could locate him easier. And thus risk everyone at the Winery#//But then the real kicker came when he realized the Reverse could be true#//And thus decided he would use his whole connection with Abyssal energy to track them all down & kill em#//Worked beautifully ever since; finding use in that to HELP Mond; not jeopardize his home#//The practicality of it was quite handy#//Up until he started sensing that energy off the Traveler—BUT he let that slide when he realized they didn’t change for the worse#//Plus he trusted them—surely they couldn’t be up to anything BAD. His judge of character isn’t THAT bad!#//Does become a bit wary after meeting Dain with them tho—bc now he worries if they could sense anything off abt HIM#//Idk; might go back and edit but ye. This is canon to my Kae#//One can tell the diff btw his vision made ice and Abyssal energy tainted based on body reactions#//A more pronounced lingering numbness and a /gnawing/ feeling in the wound is typically Abyssal-infused ice#//Appearance wise; if the ice is murkier in color; almost like something darker is inside it…yeah. It’s easier to note with a keener eye#//Or elemental sight—the difference is quite stark through that#//which if brought up; he will either gaslight tf outta them that THEY’RE sick or smth; or attribute it to a previous Abyss mage encounter
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