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#it doesn't matte
expelliarmus · 7 months
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yuviur · 6 months
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Shot by Carol, on one fateful Saturday morning
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essektheylyss · 6 months
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I know we've been clowning on Caleb for the potential that he hasn't learned Sending in six years despite access to the most extensive libraries in Wildemount and also a long-distance relationship, but I think there's an easier explanation. Considering that Caleb canonically has cast Mind Blank to keep a bitchy Assembly archmage from calling him, it's fairly reasonable to believe he's using it now.
As such it would be very on brand for him to be handing out Sending Stones because he's not about to put any random group of heroically-minded chucklefucks on his contact whitelist. He's been friends with Jester since she learned Sending. He knows better. The Hells can leave a message.
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Andrew and Neil marring in Vegas just because they don't really care and followed a too drunk Kevin to one of the chappels.
Matt stealing the Elvis costume at 3 am and Dan filming him instead of the wedding.
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crookenbeer · 2 months
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This (old) tweet is worded in such a weird way...? Matt didn't fake being blind, what a careless way of wording it. Too many people already think Matt isn't blind just because of his senses and shit like this definitely fueled the fire.
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MATT IS BLIND, GUYS. THAT'S WHY THE SHOW DEPICTS HIM USING BLINDNESS ASSISTIVE DEVICES. THAT'S WHY HIS EYES CANNOT PERCEIVE LIGHT AS SHOWN WHEN THEY SHONE A FLASHLIGHT AT MATT'S EYES.
HE HAS NEVER "FAKED BEING BLIND".
This is why actors should just shut the fuck up instead of tweeting ableist-worded shitty takes. For what anyway? For the sake of shipping wars? Insufferable.
P.S Now why didn't she address all the times Karen has lied? But that's a topic for another day, since this is about addressing the highly ignorant and ableist take that Matt's blindness is "fake".
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thecruellestmonth · 3 months
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Does the mass-murdering criminal Jason "Red Hood" Todd canonically support the death penalty?
No, I can't find evidence that Red Hood supports the death penalty.
There is a difference between murder (illegal) and state-sanctioned killing (legal). Red Hood commits unlawful homicide. The death penalty is lawful homicide. Jason is a murderer. The death penalty is not legally considered murder. Commissioner Jim Gordon is a decorated military veteran, not a murderer.
Committing violence ≠ wanting the government to have the right to commit that violence. Batman and his allies brutalize criminals; they don't necessarily support the state brutalizing criminals. Red Hood kills some criminals; Red Hood doesn't necessarily support the state killing criminals. Catwoman doesn't necessarily support the state committing burglary. Et cetera.
The death penalty is administered by the criminal legal system. Jason does not like the criminal legal system (see some of his run-ins with the police). He grew up as an impoverished child who didn't believe in the system, he was raised by Batman to believe that vigilantes can make a difference that the system can't, and he became an adult criminal who still doesn't believe in the system. He's not interested in using the criminal legal system. He isn't interested in giving more powers and privileges to an abusive system that has wronged him and the people he cares about.
When Jason started up his villain business, the death penalty was legal in Gotham City. (See Detective Comics #644, The Joker: Devil's Advocate, Batgirl 2000 #19, Punchline #1.) The death penalty was also in place during his Robin run. Jason didn't argue in favor of the state having the right to kill prisoners, and the death penalty never addressed his complaints about the status quo.
Jason has rescued people from wrongful* imprisonment and the death penalty. Again, based on his own firsthand experiences, he has many reasons to believe that the system is broken. *Some of us would argue that locking any people in prisons tends to be wrongful and inhumane by default, but we could choose to accept the standard premises of crime fiction as without endorsing it as moral instruction.
Jason Todd is a criminal: a mass murderer, a terrorist, a villain. He does evil. He doesn't represent or support the legal system. He probably has the least political capital out of all the Batfamily-associated characters. He doesn't promote the death penalty. He commits murder—illegally, as a criminal, state-unapproved.
Some recent comics related to the topic:
Gotham Nights (2020) #11 "One Minute After Midnight", written by Marc Guggenheim
Red Hood and Nightwing team up to investigate the case of a man wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to be executed. Both of them disapprove of how the broken criminal legal system botched this case.
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Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #8 (2023), written by Matthew Rosenberg
"You familiar with Hannah Arendt's concept of Schreibtischtäter? Desk murderers? It's people who use the state to kill for them, so they don't have to get their hands dirty."
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kendallsroyco · 1 year
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I am simply obsessed with Charlie's delivery of this monologue. His understated acting at its best
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redmyeyes · 4 months
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FELLOW TRAVELERS + Tim has Hawk
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farfromstrange · 2 months
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I Want To Fuck A Priest | Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
PART 6 of The Vault
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See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Pairing: Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
Summary: You have a thing for the priest you met at a farmer's market. Thankfully, he has a thing for you, too.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), porn without much plot, Priest!Matt, blasphemy (!!!), church setting, improper use of a priest's collar, improper use of a confessional booth, improper use of the act of confession, praise, prayer, oral afab!receiving, slight Dom!Matt, Catholic guilt, Fleabag reference, seriously if you are religious or triggered by the improper use of religion DO NOT read this!
Word Count: 2.8k
A/n: This is for those who watched Fleabag and then saw all the 'Imagine Matt as a priest' and 'Charlie Cox once played a Spanish priest' posts and thought, "Same!" when Fleabag said, "I want to fuck a priest." I see you, and I feel you. I wrote this after re-watching Fleabag one night, but I added a little poetic twist while editing because before, it was just completely plotless oral sex. While that isn't bad, I needed to add some vibes. You're welcome.
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Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
The church bells ring as the clock strikes midnight. The night sky is void of dark clouds. In the darkness above the massive walls encasing the holy ground, the stars shine brighter than the city lights. New York City, the city that never sleeps, makes an exception for the house of God in the dead of the night, it seems.
It’s been…several years since my last confession. 
The graveyard attached to the church looks threatening in its vacancy. It’s void of human souls except for the dead ones buried there. A raven claps its wings in the distance, following the gush of wind that brushes through the trees. 
The bell rings twelve times before it stops, but the echo bounces off the stone walls and shakes the stained-glass windows, which seems to drag on for an eternity. 
The last time I confessed my sins was before my communion. I don’t know if that makes me a bad Catholic, but lately, I’ve been having sinful thoughts, and I need to get them out of the way before I collapse under the weight of them.
You considered for the longest time whether or not you should come here. Faith has been your enemy for the longest time. You don’t believe in the Catholic Church, and yet you have found your way here, in the middle of the night, when everyone should be asleep in their beds. 
This isn’t a normal night, by any means. You often lay awake at night and question your purpose in this life, but lately, you’ve been feeling like you’re drowning. Sins are subjective, and you never paid much mind to the term until now. 
The thoughts you find yourself having late at night when you’re awake and lonely are far from holy. They aren’t ideal. They make you wonder just why you are thinking this way now.
But no man has ever been like him. And the worst part about it is that wanting him alone is an unholy train of thought you should have never submitted to. 
You tried ignoring it, carrying it all by yourself, and trying to heal whatever complex you may have that could have led to this obsession in the first place, but your life has been a mess for long enough that it doesn’t even surprise you anymore, and no matter what you tried to do, you couldn’t stop fantasizing about him.
He is the reason you came to church tonight to confess your sins. But you’re not here to find your way. You’re not here to ask for guidance from God. You told yourself that the unholiness of your thoughts needs to be cured and that is why you came here—to make this situation better for yourself—but the thought is ancient; it’s the twenty-first century and you’re the kind of person who knows exactly what they want and how to get it. The truth is, you’re here to get what you want, even if it will land you in the pits of hell for all eternity. And even if it kills you.
“You don’t do this kind of thing often, do you?” the low voice asks from the other side of the confessional booth.
You shake your head. “Not at all, Father. When I went to Sunday Mass this weekend, it was my first time in a church in a very long time,” you admit to him, “and this is my first confession since I was a child. I…I’m not really a devoted Catholic, you understand. I’m merely struggling right now, and I…I am in desperate need of guidance.”
Your lip quivers. Your voice resembles a tidal wave that comes and goes as nature pleases.
He can’t see you. It’s not the curtain that is separating you and is starting to feel like worlds apart—he can’t see you. He can only hear and smell you, and that alone makes your thighs clench with need. 
Should you be doing this in a church? Should you fantasize about a man of God and want to claim him, coming to his sanctuary to tell him the truth and mess with his head? You know that it’s wrong, but the wrong thing often feels too right to stop. 
When you met him at the farmer’s market the other day, he was so endlessly kind to everyone, including yourself. He invited you to Sunday mass, and you went. You went on a walk with him afterward, and there seemed to be something there, but he couldn’t act on it because he is who he is and what he is. He made a vow. He can’t have you, no matter how badly he wants to, and one look into his unfocused hazel eyes when he took off those red glasses he always wears told you that he does want you. It led to another sleepless night among many, and now you’re here.
You’re so utterly selfish, but God, you can’t stop it. When you want something, you would do anything to get it. He makes you feel things you never felt before. It’s terrifying, but you have to allow yourself to jump into unknown waters if you want to learn how to swim.
He clears his throat, and you can hear the chair creak under his weight as he shifts. Is it possible that you’re doing the same to him that he is doing to you?
“I want to start by saying that you’re really brave,” he says. The sound of his voice is enough to make you shiver. “But God offers people guidance in a symbolic sense. I can take your confession, tell you how to repent for your sins, but I can’t tell you what to do.”
You sigh. “I wish you would though.”
A chuckle passes his lips. “Why don’t you start by telling me what’s weighing you down, sweetheart, and we will go from there?”
Sweetheart. 
Yes, you think, this is your one-way ticket to hell. 
“I’ve been having thoughts,” you confess.
“Thoughts?” he asks.
“Yes. Unholy thoughts.” Your breath comes in weak puffs of air. The booth seems to cave in on you. You wish he would step out of his booth into yours and stuff his cock into your mouth. For him, you would shut up. You would do whatever he tells you to do, and you would do so gladly.
Fuck. You want to fuck a priest. 
But lucky for you, Father Matthew wants to fuck you too. He’s here, at midnight, because you were lost and he was still there—he told you he spends his nights at church sometimes because the city gets too loud for him. You couldn’t go anywhere else because any place where he isn’t doesn’t seem worth visiting.
Matt sucks in a sharp breath. You imagine him swallowing, his white collar constricting his labored airflow. You imagine him pulling at it to free himself, but he can’t. Those sinfully thick fingers of his would feel even better on your skin. 
“Unholy thoughts,” Father Matthew asks, “about whom, sweetheart?”
He’s pushing your buttons with that nickname. It’s so not professional. The lines are starting to blur.
“A man,” you tell him. 
“A man?”
“A man of God.”
The confession causes a bout of silence. You could have heard a hairpin drop. 
His chair creaks again, and his voice reminds you of an animalistic growl right before an apex predator attacks its prey. “And what unholy thoughts have you been having about this man of God?” he inquires.
Your inner walls clench around thin air. Sweat drips down your temples, and the arousal soaks your underwear. Your nipples strain against your shirt. If you grip the seat any harder, you will soon find wooden chips under your nails.
You lick your lips. “I’ve been thinking about him touching me,” you whisper. “And I want to touch him.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere.”
“And in your thoughts, does he satisfy you?”
Your answer comes promptly, “Always.”
There is not a scenario in which Father Matthew could possibly leave you unsatisfied. 
The chair creaks again. Something in the air shifts. 
Your voice is breathless and needy, and so fucking desperate when you speak into the silence, “Just tell me what to do, Father.”
“Okay,” he says. His leather shoes drag across the floor of the booth and toward the curtain that marks the exit of his side. The next word out of his mouth knocks all the air out of your lungs, “Kneel.”
You don’t even have time to question his request. Within seconds, the curtain through which you’ve stepped into the confessional booth is torn to the side, and there he is, in all of his glory, right in front of you, and his thick cock is straining against his black slacks.
You pinch yourself, but you’re not dreaming. This is real. This is what you wanted, and you weren’t imagining the mutual attraction due to delusions. He does want you, and he is about to break every rule in his book—and the lord’s book.
You sink to your knees. The only thing you can see on his face is pure, unbridled lust and the ugly truth of Catholic guilt. He must loathe himself for wanting you. 
Matt removes his glasses, revealing his beautiful eyes to you. In the dim candlelight, they appear almost black.
“What’s my sentence, Father?” you ask.
His hand brushes your cheek. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he breathes.
“I’m sorry, Father.”
“No.” He steps into the booth and closes the curtain behind him. “Tonight, call me Matt.”
That is the last thing he says before he gets on his knees before you, and he captures your lips in a bruising kiss that is strong enough to make the angels howl.
His hand rests around your throat, feeling your pulse. He may not be able to see you with his eyes, but the way he touches you paints a perfect picture of your presence, and you feel every last ounce of his devotion. 
He explores the depth of your mouth with his tongue, tasting you, loving you. His hands feel beautifully rough against your skin, just like you imagined they would be after years of praying. He sees himself as the hands of God. A messenger. His goodness makes your heart swell and your core flood with more than unbridled arousal—this is human nature in all its emotional glory, and you no longer feel ashamed. You can’t possibly when he is holding you like this.
He exhales into your mouth—no, he breathes life into your soul. “You’re the most sinful yet purest thing I have ever laid my hands on,” Matt says.
You gasp against his luscious lips. “I wouldn’t want to make you turn your back on God, or–”
He cuts you off, “I did that when I first thought about your body on mine and coming so deep inside of you that you’ll carry me with you for days. I don’t care about God because if having him means that I can’t have you,” he says, “I don’t want him anymore.”
You swallow his words with a kiss. Turning a priest against God was never your intention, but you are not in charge of his feelings, nor will you ever be. Matt wants you badly enough to abandon religion, and you will carry that with you until the day you die. 
He lifts you back onto the edge of the wooden chair, pulling at your clothes and your undergarments. The moonlight hits his face as the cold air of the church hits your bare pussy. He looks ethereal like this, on his knees for you. His hazel eyes bore into your soul. He wears his heart on his sleeves and a collar around his neck. 
Your priest crosses his chest. He asks God for forgiveness. And then, with one gentle tug at your thighs, he buries his face in your wet cunt, and he feasts as if your sex was the last supper. As God’s disciple, he is determined to eat up every last bite offered to him. Every last drop from your cunt is his, and your lips part in a moan that echoes through the church like the bells did when it hit midnight.
“Fuck,” you cry out. 
He flattens his tongue against you, licking a long stripe over and then through your folds. He twirls the tip of his tongue over your clit, stroking the sensitive bundle of nerves with such precision, your walls clench at the sheer explosion of pleasure. You have never felt anything like it. He turns something unholy into heaven, and you’re drowning in the river to the Garden of Eden.
His lips suction around your clit. The obscene squelching of your velvety walls fills the booth. It sounds deadly noisy to you. You want to cover your mouth to stop the moans from traveling, but he traps your hand with his, guiding them to his hand, telling you to guide him.  
Instead, one of your hands moves to his collar. It’s his turn to moan. You tug at the symbol of his priesthood, forcing his tongue deeper into your hole. He laps up your juices as though his life depends on it. 
“Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned,” Matt murmurs against you. 
You moan again, louder this time. He is repenting for wanting to dive into your pussy until he gets swept away by the tide, but it is far too late to back out now. Your pleasure has become his priority. 
“Lord God,” he repeats, “in your goodness have mercy on me.”
The pleasure is turning into a tight knot in your lower abdomen. You can feel it consuming you and your senses. You’re floating. The light at the end of the tunnel is not so far out of reach anymore. Every suck and every lick at your folds, and every thrust of his tongue into your tight walls pushes you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. 
In your goodness, have mercy on me. 
He bites down lightly on your clit. Your toes curl, and his name comes out in a groan.
Do not look on my sins, but take away all my guilt. 
Right now, you are his God. By drinking your arousal like holy water and pushing you toward an orgasm he is repenting. The symbolism makes your heels dig into his back as you buck your hips against his mouth, and when he adds one of those thick fingers, curling them up against that sweet spot inside of you, you can barely stand it anymore.
Create me in a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit.
“God, Matthew!” your moan interrupts his plea for penance only briefly.
He swats your thigh. “No blasphemy when I feast at the altar,” he says. The vibration of his voice adds to the knot, tightening it, and threatening it to burst.
You’re almost there. Almost…
“Have mercy on me, a sinner,” he continues. His tongue slides between your folds once again, gathering your slit. His fingers curl upward again. He’s mixing different prayers, or maybe these are his own words, but you are not sure how much longer you can hold it. But he wants you to hold it. You don’t want to disappoint the man who is worshiping at your feet, your pussy, his altar, and you are his salvation as much as you are his saving grace.
“In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,” he prays, “I have sinned against You whom I should love above all things—but fuck, I don’t.” 
Does that mean he loves you? It is too soon to tell that, but he is devoted, and devotion can be just as sinfully sweet as the rawest feeling of love.
“Have mercy on me, God. Amen!”
His collar is starting to tear under your vice grip. 
Matt thrusts his digit into you until it disappears, and he finally decides to show the mercy he was begging for to you. “Come for me, sweetheart,” he says. 
Your thighs lock around his head as the knot breaks in two. You come, hard, and the wave tears him down with you, shooting his cum into his slacks like the good Catholic boy he is.
You let go of his collar when your orgasm has done its damage. 
“No,” he stops you. 
“No?” you ask, still breathless.
“No,” he says, lifting his head to grin at you, not like a man of God but the Devil himself. “I have not done nearly enough penance.”
As a priest, Matt is used to being on his knees until they’re bruised; until he can’t stand straight anymore, so he has to remain there, cowering before a God he more often than not does not believe in.
Before you can protest, he dives back into your endless ocean, and you have no choice but to lean back and take it. 
He is not the only one doing penance tonight, after all—you both are. 
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Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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Various CR characters, the latest of which is Ashton Greymoore: I don't believe in fate
Matthew Mercer, descending directly into the narrative: the interplay of fate and free will is the most consistent culture-spanning theme in the entire universe I built and is set up as the crux of the finale of Campaign 3 so your belief does not actually matter but this is a great character trait for you to have so go off
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expelliarmus · 5 months
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ponury-grajek · 2 years
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I needed the comfort content with them, so I draw it myself
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tomee--bear · 7 months
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always sunny redraw 😗
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khruschevshoe · 3 months
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*slams open the door and dives on top of your sheets* Hey. Hey. I know people hate season 4 of Community and I might be losing it but do you ever think about the Inspecticon episode and go just a little bit feral? Like, the ENTIRE EPISODE A PLOT revolves around Troy and Abed's relationship with multiple references to them being boyfriends. Troy's girlfriend casually refers to Abed as his boyfriend. Troy is jealous about Abed ending up with someone else who he is afraid might be better suited to Abed but no one could be, because two Inspectors wouldn't work out because you need a logical Inspector and an emotional constable and Toby can't handle that fact because he doesn't have someone to balance him out so he's too emotional and he locks Abed in that phone box like his bullies once did but "for once in my long history of getting locked inside of things, I knew someone would come get me" and Troy and Abed doing their high-five and getting their gluon photo is the most romantic thing this show ever did (well, tied with like five other Trobed moments) and it's basically canon poly and I know I'm unhinged about it but who wouldn't be-
Oh, you have work in the morning? Whoops. Anyway I also think it's hilarious that Matt Lucas plays the evil parody Doctor Who fan who is too obsessed with the Inspector when like three years later he'd become Nardole, an official companion (aka the Constable Reggie stand-in)-
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foxhole-pipe-dream · 2 months
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I want to write an AU fic where Neil and Matt become roommates and it's the Best Thing Ever because they've been BFFs for years and what could possibly go wrong, but then Neil starts dating Andrew and they start having conflicts about wanting to use the apartment for private couple time.
Neil and Andrew like their privacy and Neil has probably walked in on Dan and Matt too many times for comfort—plus the lack of soundproofing leaves little to the imagination—so now they have to plan a schedule and work around each other.
Dan lives with Allison and Renee, and Andrew lives with his family, so their place is the better, more private option. And they both work, so that leaves less free time.
"Matt, I need the apartment on Friday afternoon."
"Oh, sure thing. Wait... I kiiinda already planned something for Dan and I on that day."
Silence.
"I guess I'll replan."
But it keeps happening til they start grating each other's nerves, eventually getting a bit passive aggressive then start bickering.
Everyone is like What the hell? You guys are fighting? Weird.
And they're horrified to realize that, for once, they are.
Basically:
Besties' First Fight.
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goryhorroor · 9 months
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slasher horror + posters
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