#it encompasses how I feel about that character 95% of the time

[twancingyunhao]

I posted 5,349 times in 2022

720 posts created (13%)

4,629 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@atzupdates

@hanatiny

@twancingyunhao

@takashi0

@beardedmrbean

I tagged 690 of my posts in 2022

#ateez - 127 posts

#yunho - 100 posts

#jeong yunho - 95 posts

#ateez yunho - 78 posts

#seventeen - 67 posts

#yunniebear - 30 posts

#yuyubear - 26 posts

#ask game - 25 posts

#svt - 24 posts

#lets svtreamday - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#no one is required to write at a certain speed or a certain part of a series because you are stressed about it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

if you’re still taking request, may i please request body worship with yunho, but it’s reader worshipping yunho’s body? his tall figure, soft tummy, his adorable tofu arms (that are also very toned lol), his broad chest and gorgeous neck (not to mention that delicious booty and big d*ck lol)… every inch of him is just… ahhh i’m losing it!! please? i’m just so in love with all of him!!

HELLO AND I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT ON THIS. Here we have the SFW version of this. A NSFW version will be released on my other blog at an undetermined date. But I hope you like it!

TRUE PERFECTION

Yunho x gn! Reader

Genre: fluff, so much fluff

Word count: 312

You had been watching him closely all day. Your eyes roaming seemingly every inch of his body, a flush adorning your cheeks as you take in his toned arms (but not too toned, still soft and comforting.) You mentally raved about his lovely bread-like cheeks.  Heart skipping a beat as your eyes lingered on his beautiful hands, the fingers that encompassed your own, making you feel safe and warm.  You reached for his hand, putting it flush against your palm and loving how big it was compared to yours, the true visual of just how much comfort and love Yunho was full of.  Trailing your hands down his arm and back up to set lightly on his chest, which was beautifully firm, yet still felt perfectly like home, you felt the rumble of him chuckling.

"Y/N, what are you up to?" He muttered, moving his hand, that was so shockingly gentle for something so large, from it's place in your hair–where it was previously giving a tender scalp massage to try and ease your tension– to your chin, tilting your head up so you could meet his eyes.  

His gorgeous eyes, like pools of warm chocolate filled with adoration that he saved for you.  You reached a hand up and laid a finger lightly on his cherry lips, soft and full, pressing lightly.

"Yuyu, I'm sorry.  You're just…. You're so perfect? How did I ever manage to get your love?" 

Laughter.  Roaring laughter as Yunho hid his face in your neck, dropping a soft kiss with those plush lips. "Darling, I ask myself the same thing everyday when I look at you." 

And as he pulled back up to smile at you with the most tender and sickeningly sweet smile, he found you trapped in your adoration yet again, only this time, he was trapped in his own adoration of you.

Taglist : @hanatiny @big-tiddie-squad @serialee @yunhofingers-writes @atinywrites @kpophoneybunny

If you want added to a taglist, let me know! Or if you want to be removed please!

63 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#4

Ateez as Dads

Seonghwa

The over-protective and strict dad

Probably would want to be a stay at home dad once he retires from Ateez. Definitely if he wasn't in Ateez.

Literally Mr. Mom

Does all the laundry and chores, leaves you with bedtime and diapers though

Overall a very sweet and tender dad

Hongjoong

Very chill dad

Spends a lot of time at the studio so wants to spend free time with the baby having a relaxed and fun time

Does not want to scold

But will if needed. He'll definitely give "that" look to try and tone it down first though

Loves when you and the bebes visit him at the studio, before both of you beg him to come home.

Just honestly a tired simp

Yunho

His energy transfers to his child

You are now left taking care of two crazies

He doesn't stop moving, he and the baby always dancing

That child would be his pride and joy

You see nothing but love and adoration in his eyes

Gladly tires the baby out before bed, hoping to make your job easier

Honestly, seeing you take care of both of them makes him love you more

Yeosang

I thing Yeo would be the cool dad

Teaching his kids to skateboard, play basketball

Definitely the sport dad

Super supportive about everything they do

Not the most affectionate physically, but would show them endless love through his support

I love dad yeosang

San

See the full post

67 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#3

Ateez missing you on tour

Hyung line part 1

Hongjoong

Your phone rang as you were doing your nightly clean up routine, light excitement bubbling up in your gut as you run for your phone which was left behind on your bed. With a muted oomph, opened the face time call, seeing Hongjoong pouting on the screen. Naturally, this elicited a pout of your own, never wanting to see the one you love looking down.

"Joong baby, it's 8:00 am for you, why do you already look so down?" He whines at your soft tone, pushing his bottom lip out further before throwing himself back on his bed.

"Y/N, it's only two weeks in and I'm having withdrawals from your hugsssss." He rolls around slightly, childishly, causing you to giggle.

"Hongjoong, you can do this. And just know when you get back, you'll have as many hugs as I can give waiting!" His lips turned upward, still trying to pout even though your words lifted his heart.

"You know just what to say, y/n. I love you, I miss you so much, and I can't wait to be back home. Just a few weeks." He smiled, before your conversation turned to talking about your day and his concert, as well as sight seeing experiences from the previous.

See the full post

106 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

Hii, can i request ateez as boyfriends headcanon, pls? 🤧

Ateez as boyfriends

Seonghwa

Probably the most protective boyfriend ever.

Like not even in the way of being overprotective around other people

Protective over EVERYTHING

"y/n, that's a brand new knife, don't you use it without me there!"

Loves to give you forehead kisses

Not too big into PDA but will gladly hold your hand ALWAYS

Museum dates, expect to be told YOU are the art.

Hongjoong

Very relaxed relationship.

Enjoys being taken care of just as much as he enjoys taking care of you

Not big on going out on too many big dates since he is so tired after studio time.

Just wants to be sit at home, legs tangled together, watching a movie

Nose kisses. Lovessss nose kisses.

Just a soft boi all-around

Yunho

The SOFTEST boy ever.

Loves PDA. Kisses in front of everyone, hand on your waist always.

Literally can't help but putting kisses all over your face any time he gets a chance.

Arcade dates. Will try to hold back when playing games so you can win.

But when it comes to DDR, it is on. No reservations.

You may be his baby, but please baby him 🥺

Yeosang

Another soft boy.

Spends alot of time playing with your hair.

Also enjoys you playing with his hair.

See the full post

126 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ateez as husbands

Seonghwa

Doting. You(and any mini-hoomans) will always be top priority

He is the type to have to have a SPOTLESS house. (def can't relate)

Stresses fairly easy, but loves when you massage his scalp and just melts

Will make you fancy milk baths with lavender oil and shit.

Honestly just a 10/10 hubby

Hongjoong

He loves you so much

He works. ALOT. And with that being the case, he isn't home much

But when he is, he makes sure to make the days all about together time

He loves when you make a surprise visit to the studio. Likes to go home together after that, knowing he can sleep comfortably next to you

I just know he has an audio file folder lightened "for my person"

Yunho

He is so goofy.

The type to surprise you by shooting a nerf dart at you when you'd least expect it.

Purposefully makes it awkward when he sees you changing.

Begs you weekly for a spiderman marathon

LOVES when you go to practice with him and join in the dancing.

Loves even more when the serious dancing turns into playful slow dancing

Yeosang

He seems very aloof, but it's truly the softest baby

Wants to do little things together at home. Cooking together, self care days, bathing together

Would absolutely take you for a skateboard ride.

And take joy in playing some basketball one on one

Would also like to have a low-key gaming day

He's just a very laid back husband, lines taking things at his own stride

San

He's the baby in the marriage

He wants to be taken care of just as much as he wants to take care of you

See the full post

234 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i am admittedly shit at tagging

[storyofmychoices]

Taking the Stage

[Levi Schuler x Laura Day Masterlist]

Characters: Laura (MC), Levi Schuler, Lily (daughter), Luz Mendez Book: Mother of the Year [Levi x MC] Word Count: ~650

Synopsis: Levi is ready to take the stage at a major festival and he’s feeling a bit nervous. Prompts: @wackydrabbles​​ #95: “You really do this every week” ; @choicesmaychallenge2021​ sunset

A/N: The insta fandom is having an editing event for “Choiceschella” this weekend, so I was inspired to imagine Levi playing a big festival like that, so here is a little drabble about it~ Enjoy~

Levi shifted his weight between his feet, tapping his fingers against his thigh. He could hear the band on the next stage wrapping up their set. It was almost his turn. His heart raced, and a long sigh slipped through his lips. He had never played a festival this large before. He knew many in the audience weren't there for him, which meant more critics than he was used to. He ran through his setlist in his head, so distracted that he didn't hear her approach. 

Laura's arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw. She rested her face against the back of his shoulder, nuzzling closer.

He tensed at the unexpected intrusion but quickly relaxed into the comfort of her embrace. He hummed happily, turning toward her. 

"Nervous?" 

His strong arms encompassed her, shifting her in front of him. Her dark eyes radiated with pride, eliciting a smile, despite his nerves. He nodded slightly, holding her to his chest. "Just a little."

"You're amazing, Levi." Laura ran her fingers through his hair, losing herself in his luscious locks. "They're going to love you."

He leaned forward, brushing a kiss on her forehead. 

The setting sun warmed her features, bathing her in its golden-orange glow. He shook his head in disbelief at how just her presence calmed him. His heart still raced, but for a different reason; all worry and tension was gone. "The only person I need to love me is you."

Her eyes closed as her smile stretched across her features. 

"I mean it, Laura." He cradled her face, lifting it to meet his gaze. His thumb caressed her cheek. "Every single song is for you. I could pen a thousand songs, and it still wouldn't be enough to capture how you make me feel."

"Lev—" the rest of his name was lost in his mouth as he kissed her deeply, letting himself get lost in her presence; his senses intoxicated with her. 

The roar of the crowd grew as the previous band reached the end of their set. 

"I love you, Laura. I couldn't do this without you."

"I love you, too, Levi."

"Give it back!" A deep voice called, pulling their focus.

There was a commotion behind them; feet moved quickly against the raised backstage platform.

Two young girls barreled forward, knocking into them. 

Luz moved behind Levi, partially hiding herself. 

"Girls, listen. I've tried to be nice. Now, give them back." 

"No!" Luz stuck her tongue out. "If you didn't want anyone to touch them, you probably shouldn't have left them lying around." She twirled his drumsticks between her fingers.

"Luz!" Laura scolded, pressing her hands to her hips. Her eyes narrowed.

The girl sighed and held the sticks out to the drummer.

Hesitantly, he accepted them, waiting for more as if it were some kind of trick. "Just like that?"

Luz nodded. "She used her 'mom' voice."

"You don't mess with 'mom' voice," Lily added in agreement, handing over the pair she had borrowed at Luz's encouragement.

Levi chuckled and mouthed his apologies to his bandmate. The two girls never ceased to find trouble. 

"It's time," the stage manager announced.

One by one, the members of his band walked out onto the stage to the cheering crowd.

"So—" Luz crossed her arms in challenge. "You really do this every week?" 

Levi patted his hand on her head. "Nah. Not like this. This is something else."

"This is just the beginning." Laura pressed a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear, "You've got this, my love."

As the sound of the instruments crescendoed, the crowd grew louder, awaiting the lead singer. 

Levi moved forward, waiting for his cue. 

Lily quickly ran to him, hugging him tightly. "Good luck, Levi!"

"Thanks, Rocket." He kissed the top of her head. Then stepped out, taking the stage.

Choices Perma: @the-soot-sprite​ ; @princess-geek​ ; @gardeningourmet​​ ; @katrinegrey​​ ; @trappedinfanfiction​​ ; @aleynareads​​ ; @lucy-268​​ ; @xjustin-ethansgirliex​​ ; @maurine07​​​ ; @nikki-2406​​​  ; @schnitzelbutterfingers​​​ ; @zeniamiii​​ ; @tyrils-star​​​ ; @lilyoffandoms​​ ;

MOTY: @lorirwritesfanfic​​​ ;

#levi schuler #levi moty #mother of the year #moty #levi x mc #levi schuler x mc #fan fiction #laura day #lily day #levi x laura #luz mendez

[flamingplay]

I posted 2 053 times in 2021

167 posts created (8%)

1886 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 11.3 posts.

I added 3 035 tags in 2021

#coldplay - 1095 posts

#jonny buckland - 400 posts

#jonny boy - 398 posts

#mots era - 283 posts

#chris martin - 262 posts

#mx era - 193 posts

#new era - 114 posts

#interview - 104 posts

#viva era - 95 posts

#higher power - 91 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#your brain is huge and your taste is really fucking respectable. no matter how long you've been a ga fan you've clearly done your research a

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

See the full post

21 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 18:03:35 GMT

#4

Happy two years to the incredible “Everyday Life” album! 

Here’s a little edit dedicated to the eponymous song as a single on vinyl release!

23 notes • Posted 2021-11-22 19:20:24 GMT

#3

After more than a month of taking a social media break (the whole time my blog ran off the queue which I didn’t actually even fix or check), I’m trying to get back everywhere and with replying as well and overall communicating (sorry, guys, I really had 40+ days of just another reality which affected my mental health as well) even though it’s really tough, guys... Maybe, I’d talk about some (personal and very sad) things that happened to me a bit later here...

But meanwhile I noticed that some long ago I was tagged by @blueberry-beanie for creating a moodboard that represents me in some way? Here we go with it! Two photos here are mine, screenshot is from GS era video, owly drawing on wood is by Kimera Wachna (@gracemerewoods), earrings and Claddah ring I own and wear by @mosquito_jewellery, the rest is just product photos from the search...

If you feel like it, you can do it, @swallowedinthestars, @lisanek, @xandwhy, @literalpaper, @ohtheseskaters, @songs-of-owly, @waitsforawave, @at-the-speed-of-sound, @sup--ernova, @coldplayfeels!

23 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 05:23:04 GMT

#2

See the full post

26 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 19:19:07 GMT

#1

Coldplay’s New Music

(just encompassing everything in one place because of the informational chaos)

Thanks to Coldplaying and ColdplayXTRA (graphics below by them too) on Twitter we’ve got such encrypted message from alienradio.fm website about probably potential new single “Higher Power” being released on May 7th! (a radio day. Coincidence? I think not) As Coldplaying’s article goes, that was ColdplayXTRA who “led the decryption efforts by assuming Coldplay was the first string and using P, O, A, Y to fill the blanks” [x] There are also potential new single’s lyrics that has been deciphered by both of the teams joining up their forces: 

“The joy is electric and you’re circuiting through. I’m so happy that I’m alive at the same time as you”

See the full post

28 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 20:32:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lmao the number of notes xDDDDDDDd #wish such reviews were when I came here in 2016... #personal

[oldsmobile-hotdogs]

Congrats!! Willex ♥️😭🌸

Hey anon ! Sorry for the wait on this one, but it’s finally done !

Without further ado, may I present:

95% of Visitors to the Eden Project do Not Return a Second Time

also available on ao3 here!

(anon if you have an ao3 you’d like me to gift this work to feel free to let me know !)

Alex had always wondered about the implications of him still having anxiety as a ghost, because despite the illness occurring mentally, all processes involved were chemical and physical, as much as the brain is considered a physical part of the human body, just also the part that controls the self. So it would stand to reason that if Alex was still dealing with his anxiety, and boy, was he, then he should be dealing with his more typically considered "physical" conditions day-to-day as well.

Except he hadn't experienced any other distinct forms of physical suffering like he had with his anxiety. Sure: he couldn't eat anything, so there was no way to check if he was still anaphylactically allergic to tree nuts; and it was pretty hard for him to purposefully make contact with things, so there was little way for him to be sure the familiar bruises on his hips from existing just a little too far to the left would bloom if he were to run into the Molinas' kitchen island or back into their staircase bannister or trip on air into the table, but that didn't stop him taking this anecdotal evidence as fact and deciding that, for some reason, mental illnesses must just work differently enough to everything else to carry on into the afterlife experience.

Alex really didn't like the implications of that. He'd already felt ostracised enough as a child for having a brain that worked differently that he wasn't a fan of it being one of the main highlights of his eternity. So- and he could never tell Willie this: Willie'd immediately be far more worried about his well-being than Alex would be ready for- he'd started seeking out ways to become physically ill, just to prove that he could. That was the principle of falsification, after all: it only took one example to show that he didn't just bring his anxiety along for the ride.

He'd begun taking leisurely walks in the great outdoors, a concept that would've seemed wildly out-of-character for him if not for the dire circumstances he was currently in. On these walks he'd inhale as aggressively as he could, hoping to kickstart his old tree pollen allergy and have an asthma attack right there and then just to prove it was still in him to do so; he'd chuck himself into each and every hedge, hoping upon hope that even if nothing topical started up he'd at least emerge with a scratch; and he'd even taken to walking into stinging nettles, just to feel something, figuring that the dock leaves were located right next to them anyway. Alex found no luck on any of these fronts. It's not like he even had a plan of how to break to anyone, especially Willie, that he'd found a way to get hurt, let alone how he'd found that way to get hurt, when he finally found it.

Luckily, as some might argue, when it finally happened, Willie was already there.

'Alex, man? You okay?' Willie asked, stopping the both of them in their tracks on the small brick pathway that weaved between the exotic flower exhibits they were currently meant to be astutely and romantically observing on their date. Alex could vaguely see the lightly concerned look on his face through his swiftly clouding vision. God, even at a reduced resolution he was cute.

'Yeah, I.' Alex stifled a sneeze, his ears popping at the exertion. 'I think- one of these flowers- I must not have- it's new,' he floundered, suddenly overwhelmed now that he was experiencing his first allergy attack in twenty five- though they felt like one- years, despite him having been searching this experience out for at least a few weeks at this point.

'That's- okay.' Willie had picked up inserting "okay" into nearly every conversation he had, though not as heavily as Alex, and Alex was able to pick up at this point that this particular "okay" was hiding the fact that although Willie touted himself as an expert on all things ghost, he was now the one having a minor afterlife crisis. 'Is there anything you need?'

'My antihistamines are-' Another silent sneeze, his head reeling a little from how furrowed his brows had been- 'They're in my pack. And tissues.'

'I'll get them out,' Willie offered, reaching over with the hand not intertwined with Alex's to unzip his fanny pack. 'You gotta stop holding in those sneezes, by the way,' he continued under his breath, ever so gently. 'You'll hurt yourself.'

Alex was about to respond with something snarky, telling himself it was to maintain the previous tone of conversation but also fully knowing that it was because he wanted to assure Willie he was fine, but was interrupted by a sudden, all-encompassing urge to itch at his eyes. His hands acted before his brain could, and the one not held tightly onto Willie's scrubbed at his left eye before he could stop it. He felt involuntary tears pool almost immediately after he stopped scrubbing.

'Oh my god, are you okay?' Willie reiterated, clearly having caught sight of his now shining singular eye. 'Do you need me to take us anywhere?'

'No I just-' Alex startled slightly at how congested his voice now sounded. He'd really grown used to not having to deal with this since dying. 'I rubbed at it,' he finished in a tone that he thought made him sound like a child creeping up on their parents to whine about a nightmare.

'Oh.' Willie giggled a little, seemingly relieved. 'You shouldn't do that either, you know,' he chided jovially, bumping Alex's shoe lightly with his as he finally procured the packet of tissues and box of pills from Alex's fanny pack.

'Okay, Mom,' Alex complained jokingly, warmth blossoming in his chest when Willie pitched into a fit of giggles in response.

Once the laughing had died down, Willie finally replied, 'I only do it because I love you.'

As if his brain only then caught up to what he said, Willie suddenly froze, straightening up jerkily, a maroon blush crawling across his cheeks. 'Uh.'

'You mean it?' Alex squeaked out after a minute, confused as to why that was the first thing out of his mouth in response.

'That time?' Willie replied, voice equally as strained. 'That time I- I meant it kind of in a matronly way.' He paused. 'But in general? Yeah.'

Alex could feel his own cheeks heating up. 'Cool,' he managed, instantly feeling like a buffoon. 'Shit.' He paused similarly for a moment, inhaling shakily and sneezing once more, trying to hold this one in less, specifically for Willie, before restarting. 'Me too. I- I love you too.'

Willie made a move, as if to pull him in for a hug, but Alex suddenly became incapacitated by a sneeze that he didn't anticipate in time to stifle, the noise scaring one bird out of a tree a few exhibits over. Alex chose not to think about the implications of ghost birds in that moment.

'I think we should go somewhere else before we continue this confession, though,' Alex reasoned, resigned now to the new viscosity of his voice.

Willie giggled once more. 'Of course, hot dog. Love you.'

'Love you too,' Alex said around his blocked nose.

And with little more than a thought, the two poofed out of the botanical garden.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #jatp fanfic #fic #fanfic #ao3 #oneshot #willie jatp #alex mercer #willex #fluff #own post #1k words #fanfiction #anon #ask #50 follower prompts #50 followers celebration

[somniabundant]

for the writing style asks - 3, 13, 21 and 23?

3 - “said” - overused or underused?

I’m going to have to go with underused. I don’t think I’ve ever read a piece and thought ‘wow they used said too much.’ I think it’s been beat into us so much that using said means you’re not trying hard enough or you’re not as sophisticated, but I don’t agree with that. I saw a post the other day that explained how ‘whispered’ and ‘said softly’ have two completely different connotations and that pretty much encompasses how I feel about how you can use it intentionally to convey a mood. Using “said” more (and especially with with an extra adverb) definitely isn’t a bad thing in my eyes. (Wow I really went off sorry if I sound pretentious as fuck lol)

13 - do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Yeah I definitely do, I feel like I have a pretty distinct narration style and I end up picking up speaking patterns based off of my writing habits.

21 - dialogue or description?

Description babyyyyy. Read any of my stuff ever it’s 95% description XD

23 - prologues or epilogues?

Okay okay, I’m conflicted. So in my own writing, I do sometimes include epilogues just to wrap things up in ways that make sense and also I’m a slut for everything coming full circle and epilogues tend to help with that. HOWEVER when I am reading things, I do not like epilogues. The reason for this is that I am extremely emotionally volatile and once I finish a particularly intense story I don’t want to read about how everything is chill in ten years, no, I want to bask in the moment and take in everything that has just occurred and press that moment into my memory forever, allowing myself to see the characters just in that time and that time alone. This is also why I don’t really enjoy follow up series, I get sad when I see the characters are all grown up I just wanna remember when they were going through the first plotline. There’s probably something wrong with me and that’s why I’m like this but yeah. Epilogues make me feel greatly conflicted so we’re going to have to go with prologues since I feel neutral about them.

#asks #anonymous #this made me realize a lot of things about myself that I did know before 👀

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #432

Top Ten Games to Remaster

As we continue June’s videogame-themed series of Tops Ten – during what would normally have been E3, but is still something of a prolonged Videogame Announcement Season – I turn my attention once again to great games past. This has been exacerbated by the release of Command & Conquer Remastered Collection, a hi-def spit-and-polish re-do of two of the greatest PC games of the nineties. I have very fond teenage memories of both C&C and its pseudo-sequel, but Red Alert in particular strikes an important chord as one of “the” games that deepened and broadened by love of gaming as an art form. In the way that really only happens when you’re a kid, I absorbed Red Alert, not just completing the campaign and playing hours and hours of skirmish, but also talking about it extensively with friends, designing my own levels, and even going so far as to modify the source files to create my own super-units (nuclear tanks ahoy!). As such, it utterly delights me to declare that C&C Remastered is a phenomenal undertaking, the graphics painstakingly remade to fit modern displays, the interface masterfully tweaked to appease modern sensibilities. But at the same time it offers so many pleasing, knowing, considerate hat-tips to fans, such as a re-imagining of the classic DOS installation prompts. All in all, it’s a must-buy, bringing a 25-year-old series of games more-or-less bang up to date and preserving their legacy for a new generation.

Anyway, all this got me thinking of other classic games, and how it’s so difficult to play them nowadays. Maybe they’re mired in rights issues. Maybe it’s a technological minefield to get them to run on modern systems. Maybe elements of modern gaming – be it graphics or design – have simply passed them by, making them a far more difficult and frustrating experience than they would have seemed Back in the Day. Whatever the reason, these are games that – like classic films from the 40s and 50s – should be celebrated and enjoyed by the young’uns, not left to gather digital dust on forgotten floppies the world over.

So, with no further ado, here are ten games that I would love to see given a bit of digital TLC, renewed and revigorated for the ultra-wide monitors and liquid-cooled systems of tomorrow. In most cases these are just one game that I’d like to see spruced up and re-released, but there are a few “collections” here too, whether it’s a C&C-style pairing of a great double act, or a  celebration of a series, a la Halo: The Master Chief Collection.

Oh, and I’m on about remasters here: not a full-on remake or reboot. Stuff like Perfect Dark on the Xbox 360, not Doom 2016. Old games made good on modern hardware, not a reimagining of the property.

Regardless: have at it, games industry.

Lemmings (1991) and Lemmings 2: The Tribes (1993): I definitely think they should be a double-pack, because whilst the first is a well-regarded classic, the second refines the formula, makes it more user-friendly, offers skirmish-style training modes, and amps up the comedy. But they’re both ancient by now, and despite mobile do-overs in recent years, the originals are very difficult to play. Upping the resolution whilst still keeping the character of the scantily-pixelated sprites would be difficult, but it’d be worth it to once again sample one of the gods of gaming.

Sam & Max Hit the Road (1993): other LucasArts classic adventures have had a spruce – most notably the first two seminal Monkey Island games – but it’d be good to see this cult comedy classic come back to life. I don’t know if the backgrounds ever existed in higher resolution, but I’d love to see the sprites re-drawn to more closely resemble a cartoon version of Steve Purcell’s artwork.

The Jedi Knight Series (1995-2003): I’m bundling all four Jedi Knight games in together – that’s the original Dark Forces, plus Jedi Knight, Jedi Outcast, and Jedi Academy – but let’s be honest, it’s the first two we’re really after. DF gave us a compelling mission-based “Doom Clone” (back when Doom was a genre), and one which would be amazing to see tarted up to 4K with texture filtering a-go-go; but it was its 1997 sequel, Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II, that struck serious beskar. Huge, expansive levels, in “true 3D” (as we used to call it), full-motion video cutscenes, finally getting a lightsaber and Force powers, but most of all the Light/Dark Side dynamic offering (very basic) morality and a branching storyline. Again, giving it a glossy hi-def sheen would do wonders to preserve the legacy of one of the greatest Star Wars games of all time.

The Quake Collection (1996-2005): really it should be called The Quake Qollection, no? Encompassing all four mainline Quakes. Although, again, let’s be honest: there’s something deeply iconic about the first three, so no one would complain if we just forgot about part 4, yeah? Anyway: Quake was a stunner, a gorgeous 3D technical juggernaut, offering sumptuous lighting effects and gorgeous architecture. Part II came a year later and offered us coloured lighting and a coherent sci-fi story, whereas Quake III Arena in 1999 gave us a sublimely crafted multiplayer shooter and a character that was an eyeball doing a handstand. Despite being graphical powerhouses in their day, getting them to run can be a drag, so it’d be lovely to see them dragged into the 21st Century, especially if they could offer us ray-tracing on next-gen consoles, a la Quake II RTX.

Tomb Raider (1996): we’ve seen the series rebooted in (generally) excellent fashion, but at the same time it feels it lost a little of the majesty, mythos, and merriment of OG Lara. One of the first truly successful 3D games, it was like nothing before it. A subtle update to increase its resolution, filter the rough edges, maybe offer the option to move beyond the rigid grid-based movement structure, and possibly up the poly count so blocky Lara more closely resembles her rendered box-art cousin, would be terrific. Imagine the dinosaur in 4K…!

Descent (1994): one of those games that’s slipped from public consciousness, this was a full-3D shooter a couple of years before Quake shambled onto our screens. Piloting a craft in zero gravity, it offered full freedom of movement as well as a tense shooter dynamic coupled with some mild, X-Wing-style space sim elements. It was funky, fast, gorgeous, and messed with your head. I’d love a remake that kept the levels as-is, simplified the often-complex controls for modern sensibilities, and just in general made it look prettier. I worry that a contemporary “re-imagining” might lose too many of its crazy rough edges, though.

Syndicate (1993): there have been a number of efforts to re-do Syndicate over the years, but apart from its excellent sequel Syndicate Wars in 1996, none have matched the dark joys of the original. rather than try to go all modern and 3D, I’d rather see the artwork redone, redrawn at a higher resolution, perhaps offering subtle 3D touches such as dynamic light, shadow, and ray-tracing. The fiddlier aspects (getting into cars?!) could be tidied up, but the look and feel should remain the same. I honestly think this could be a big deal.

Total Annihilation (1997): if C&C can get remastered, why not the game that was arguably the first real challenger to its sci-fi RTS dominance? TA had 3D graphics, a new and refined model of base construction, and tactical touches such as line-of-sight and elevated terrain. But the comparatively low resolution of late-nineties machines meant that the robotic units could often appear slightly indistinct, turning into a grey melange; boosting the res and the poly count would do wonders, but – like C&C – the gameplay itself should be kept as authentic as possible.

Warcraft I & II (1994-95): I know, I know; they just did a remaster of Warcraft III that wasn’t well received and got everybody’s backs up. But I barely played Warcraft III (I barely played Warcraft I for that matter). Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness was the fantasy yin to C&C’s sci-fi yang, and it was great; clear, bright, fast, fun. The cartoony graphics were gorgeous and the units had bags of character (reinforced by the humorous soundbites when you kept clicking on them). I’d want to see the sprites re-drawn in hi-res, with the units given some gorgeous new animations to match their character. Other than that? Keep it broadly the same. It worked 25 years ago, it’ll work now.

Fantasy World Dizzy (1989): I nearly didn’t have a game this old on the list. For one thing, I thought pre-16-bit games would require far more retooling for modern audiences, becoming essentially the sort of reboot I said I wanted to avoid; I can’t imagine a new Skool Daze being too similar to its original. Also which Dizzy do you choose? The one I played the most was probably Spellbound (1991). But I think Fantasy World may be the most iconic. Its Amiga port was almost a remaster anyway, giving it gorgeous colour graphics. A modern version would up the resolution with all-new art assets, obviously, and perhaps could offer a more user-friendly jumping dynamic (and maybe – maybe – I’ll allow scrolling). This could be a lovely way to re-introduce audiences to the character of Dizzy, who should really be held up more as a British gaming mascot, without having to go all-in on a brand new title. Egg-cellent (sorry).

So there we are. There are a couple missing here, obviously; Simon the Sorcerer was nearly there until I realised they did do a gentle remaster in 2018. The Settlers would have made the list, except they are remaking that, although in my opinion it looks like a full-on reboot rather than the upgraded version of the original that I crave. Fade to Black just dropped off the bottom on the grounds that I barely played it in its original form, but a third-person 3D Flashback is still on my Most Wanted list (Flashback itself, sadly, has already had a disappointing remake). And the best Star Wars game of all time, Knights of the Old Republic, I decided not to include as – again – I think we’re going to see that reimagined and folded into the new official Disney canon in some form. Maybe that should preclude me imagining the original game in 4K with updated character models, dynamic shadows, and ray-tracing, but – hey – that’s just me. At least that is one game that I’ll still be able to play fairly easily on an Xbox Series X, even without whistles and bells. Here’s to dead old games!

#top ten #games #gaming #remasters #old games #retro games #command & conquer #lemmings #star wars #dizzy #warcraft #quake

[thisblogsaboutbooks]

We Are the Ants - Shaun David Hutchinson

One of the things that has always irked me about me about YA novels, especially ones based here in our reality, is that they ignore some of the things that make teens teens. Granted, I understand no one wants to be reminded of the horrors of puberty and all the awkwardness that came with it, but at the same time, knowing that the characters are going through the same struggles makes them more relatable, in my opinion.

Which is why I enjoyed this book. The main character was raw and funny and honest and very much a teenage boy (my experience not being first hand, but having two older brothers, a nephew and 95% of my little cousins being guys).  

Synopsis: Henry Denton gets abducted by aliens and almost no one believes him. The “sluggers”, as he calls them because of their slug-like appearance, inform him the world is going to end on January 29, 2016, in 144 days, but they give him the opportunity to save it. All he has to do is press the button.

Ever the scientist, Henry likes to imagine all the ways it could happen: Earth freezes over, the bees dying off and causing world hunger, virtual reality encompassing reality, etc. Because Henry has no intentions of saving humanity. Why would he? His boyfriend killed himself, and the guy he’s been hooking up with since often bullies and ridicules him. His dad left. His grandmother is fighting a losing battle against Alzheimer’s. He has no friends; everyone at school thinks he freak, taunting him and calling him “Space Boy” ever since his older brother told the entire student body about his abductions. Humanity doesn’t deserved to be saved.

That is, until maybe it does.

We Are the Ants alternates chapters between how Henry thinks the world is going to end and what is happening in his life in the days until that day comes.

Thoughts: Biggest reason I picked up this book when I did was because I’ve mostly been reading books with LGBTQ+ characters this year. This is in no way, shape, or form a coming out story, so outside of the blurb, I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when I started reading, but I really, really liked this one.

The first few pages are attention grabbing. The very first line is “Life is bullshit,” and even though the book is set in mid to late 2015, with everything going on in the world today, I feel like that’s just a big mood. 

Henry goes through a lot in these 144 days, a couple highs and even more lows, all of which makes his decision not to save the world seem justifiable. This is one of those books written well enough that I felt like I could empathize with Henry even though I’ve never experienced a lot of what he goes through. [There are some triggers: multiple mentions of suicide, extreme bullying/hate crimes, attempted rape, unrelated to Henry, miscarrying, and maybe more that I’m not aware of.] Even without going through that though, remembering the uncertainty and discomfort and all-consuming blahness of being a teenager had me empathizing with Henry and wondering what I would do if given the option that age. (I’d like to think I’d have saved the world, but I guess it would have just depended on the day.)

Overall, definitely a good read. Would recommend with trigger warnings in mind. Looking forward to reading more of Hutchinson’s work in the future.

#we are the ants #shaun david hutchinson #ya book review #ya book recommendation #gay characters #bi/pan representation #mlm relationship #lgbtq+ reads #aliens #alien abduction #florida #this book has TRIGGERS

[zombeesknees]

o benevolent angie bee, may i request your assistance in convincing a friend to give the fast and the furious a shot? my major selling points are a) gal gadot and assorted other gorgeous kickass ladies and b) FOUND FAMILY NARRATIVES, but so far she's not buying it. so: on a scale of one to leverage, where do you rank the trope-y, ridiculous, incredibly wonderful found family experience that is this franchise?

OOOOOOOOH BOY. Okay, so, this is absolutely gonna be a B-List column in the near future, but here’re the high points I use to sell this series on folks:

You like Found Families? This is the BIGGEST FOUND FAMILY EVER. You either die a villain or live long enough to join the Toretto/O’Connor clan, man. This family is so strong that it sucks people into it, redeems them, and then sits them down for Sunday BBQs and blood oaths.

Seriously. The Found Family trope was made for this series. These characters are so ride-or-die for each other it’s amazing.

Speaking of tropes, this series is full of ‘em. There’s the amnesia trope. There’s Robin Hood-ing left and right. There’s a cop who falls for a criminal (albeit in a brotherly fashion rather than a romantic one) and abandons his old life to join them. There’s secret babies. People return from the (assumed) dead. There’s epic romantic sacrifices. It’s wild.

The representation is OFF THE CHAIN. This is a series that has token white guys in it, where 95% of the cast are POC. The women are BADASS, and allowed to be pretty and feminine even as they drive cars through police blockades. Suki has a bubblegum pink car and drives in stilettos and KICKS WHOLESALE ASS. The aforementioned Gal (enough said). Mia is a mama bear who would kill a man to protect her family. Letty is self-destructive as fuck and the perfect partner for Dom. The characters are allowed to be messy and fucked up and can still redeem themselves later (see: Vince).

F&F constantly calls out the difference between legal and right. Cops are often the bad guys, because the system is often broken, bad people have all the power/money/etc., and sometimes POC have to do stuff society deems “illegal” in order to feed their families or protect their brothers.

You’re not a huge fan of constant car chases or explosions? Okay, that’s fair. But the great thing about the F&F series is that it encompasses almost every action sub-genre. Movie #1 is an undercover cop story. Movie #2 is a buddy cop story. Movie #3 is a teen drama (with YAKUZA!). Movie #4 is a revenge flick. Movie #5 (and my personal favorite thus far) is a heist movie. Movie #6 pits our heroes against an international terrorist. Movie #7 is a revenge flick from the opposite direction. Movie #8 has CHARLIZE THERON AS A CYBERTERRORIST and the Fast Fam become secret government agents to take her down. I MEAN.

They just keep. Getting. Better. I know that sounds crazy, because most series prove the rule of diminishing returns. But the Fast franchise is that rare beast that keeps satisfying every time. Each installment has made more at the box office than the last one, as they travel the world and cast more and more people from other countries, and the car stunts and action choreography just gets more polished and exciting with each new movie. And, sure, they get more ridiculous, too — we’ve gone from the Big Action Moment being out-racing a train in #1 to DRIVING A CAR THROUGH TWO HUGE SKYSCRAPERS in #7 and FIGHTING A SUBMARINE THROUGH ICE in #8, but that’s just the nature of action films. And it’s FUN, DAMMIT.

Re: the cast continuing to expand great: this franchise has Vin Diesel, The Rock, Jordana Brewster, Luke Evans, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, Kurt Russell, Nathalie Emmanuel (aka Missandei of Game of Thrones), Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Elsa Pataky (aka Mrs. Chris Hemsworth), Gal Gadot, Don Omar, Kristofer Hivju (aka Tormund of Game of Thrones), Gina Carano... It’s really wild how many awesome people are in this.

The male characters are allowed to be emotional. You see the guys CRY, which is so goddamned rare in action films. There’s so much LOVE between the characters (and the cast, too; if you REALLY want to sob, look into everyone’s reactions to Paul Walker’s death and how Vin basically lost his mind in the aftermath and NAMED HIS DAUGHTER AFTER HIM). You can really feel the camaraderie in these.

When I’m trying to get people into the franchise, I actually skip the first three films — the tone changes so significantly after the first two and #3 is pretty much only good for Han reasons. #4 is dark, yeah, but it also sets the stage for the rest of the series and introduces the characters pretty well for first-timers.

And once that’s been seen, #5 is just SO DAMN GOOD!!! You get the whole crew together. It’s the one that really solidifies the Found Family aspect of the series. The Rock shows up. It’s laugh-out-loud hysterical at times. The action sequences are WILD. And it’s the Fast Fam vs. an awful dictator, pulling a huge heist via cars, so what’s not to love about that???

I hope this helps, and that your friend agrees to sit down and give them a chance, because I was reluctant, too, once, and now I’m so glad I let my eyes be opened to the Greatness that is the Fast Films (family motto: “There’s no problem that can’t be fixed with the judicious application of cars.”). 

Also there’s a spin-off — HOBBS & SHAW — hitting theaters in August with The Rock and Jason Statham taking on IDRIS ELBA. And... If that ain’t magical, I don’t know what is.

#fast and the furious #asks #redbelles

[daresplaining]

Hello! I've seen you guys mention Mr Fear a few times and his power and dynamic with Matt sounds fascinating. Could you elaborate on it when you get a mo? From what I know I'd love to see a version of him in S4

    Ooh, yes, of course! There have been several versions of Mr. Fear, and they’ve all been nasty. (And yes, it would have been nice to get one of them in the show. I was really rooting for that.) I mostly know Mr. Fear in the context of Daredevil, which is where he/they originated, so that’s what I’ll be focusing on here, though I know at least one of them has appeared elsewhere as well. I appreciate the various Mr. Fears not just because they are terrifying antagonists, but also because of the sheer variety with which the basic premise– artificially inducing fear– has been depicted over the years. This has kept the identity fresh, and has helped them become more than just cheap knock-offs of DC’s Scarecrow.

    If you just want reading recommendations, below are all of the issues I will be covering in this post. They encompass the full range of Mr. Fear’s history in Daredevil, from 60s wackiness to 2000s noir, and I think they’re all worth reading if you’re looking for the full Mr. Fear experience.

Daredevil volume 1 #6

Daredevil volume 1 #54-55

Daredevil volume 1 #90-91

Marvel Team-Up volume 1 #92 (not digitized)

Daredevil volume 1 #222

Daredevil volume 1 #314-315 (not digitized)

Fear Itself: The Home Front #5, “A Moment with… Mr. Fear”

Daredevil volume 1 #363-367 and 371-375 

Daredevil volume 2 #95-106

    If you want plot summaries and character commentary, read on: 

      The first Mr. Fear was introduced way back in Daredevil #6, as the leader of the Fellowship of Fear (a trio that also consisted of the Ox and the Eel). This first version had the fantastically supervillain-y name of Zolton Drago, and an appropriately wacky origin story: He is a humble sculptor, dismayed by the failure of his wax museum, who makes an astonishing discovery while mixing up chemical concoctions intended to bring his wax statues to life. 

Drago: “I did discover something after all! Something I never expected! I’ve found a way to fill any foe with indescribable fear!!”

Caption: “For long weeks, the strange, haunted man worked, refining his discovery, learning all he could about the chemicals involved…”

Drago: “Perfect! Now I know that I can make all the “Fear Gas” I need! With such a discovery, I could become the most successful criminal who ever lived! […] I’ve modified an ordinary pistol to fire my new “Fear Pellets”! And now, for psychological purposes, I’ll create a costume… the perfect disguise for one who shall henceforth be known as… Mr. Fear!!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #6 by Stan Lee, Wally Wood, and Sam Rosen

    There’s a certain goofiness in most Silver Age villains– Daredevil’s, in particular– but I find Wally Wood’s depiction of Mr. Fear’s skull-and-cape look to be genuinely creepy, and his Fear Gas is no joke. When hit with it during his first encounter with the Fellowship of Fear, Matt is rendered helpless with terror, and barely escapes with his life. 

Matt: “Fumes! He fired a gas pellet at me! But, it isn’t tear gas! Nor is it poisonous! What can it be?”

Caption: “Suddenly, the sightless adventurer turns making a frantic effort to flee!”

Matt: “Both of them… about to attack me! No! Stay back! An air current! …Directly above me! That means an opening! It’s my one chance! If I can swing over in time! […] I just made it!”

    Matt manages to defeat Mr. Fear at the end of the issue by, uh… positioning himself in front of a fan (seriously). But this is only the beginning.

    Mr. Fear returns in Roy Thomas’s run, in Daredevil #54-55. This story starts with Matt faking his death to escape the consequences of a supervillain named Starr Saxon discovering his secret identity. His plan is to continue on as Daredevil and invent a new civilian persona for himself. But no sooner has he put this plan into action than Mr. Fear– who has recently been freed from prison– baits him on live television. Mr. Fear claims he can prove, without using his Fear Pellets, that Daredevil is a coward. And… he does!

Mr. Fear: “I neglected to mention my new power– to fill you with frenzied fear– with a mere gesture!”

Matt: “Tell me another one, friend! Now to– No– NO! That tingling I feel– that sudden sinking sensation! Drago was right! Suddenly, I feel– deathly afraid! Getting dizzy– just realizing how high we are–! And now– I’m falling! Nnooo!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #54 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

    There are several stories during this period that focus on Daredevil’s reputation being tarnished, and this is one of them. The adoring public, who was watching the fight, now think Daredevil is a wuss, and Matt fears they might be right. It’s all a bit humorously melodramatic, but what matters is that Mr. Fear seems to have become an even more serious threat, since Matt is struck by that same fear the next time he goes out as DD, when Mr. Fear isn’t even around. In the end, after a quick call (courtesy of Foggy) to the prison where Drago was being held, Matt discovers the truth: Zolton Drago is dead and the new Mr. Fear is actually Starr Saxon himself, who stole Drago’s costume and equipment after murdering him. Matt confronts him with this revelation, after which Saxon accidentally falls to his death. 

Matt: “Funny how Saxon died lunging for my billy club– the very weapon he’d been using to make me turn coward when we fought! Once Foggy called the warden, it was as simple as ABC! When Saxon briefly possessed Matt’s cane he rigged the club with these specially-timed Fear-Gas pellets… which his flying disk triggered during our first battle! It was his warped revenge on me… for ‘killing’ Matt Murdock to escape his blackmail threats! And, with that erudite explanation, I rest my case! DD, it’s been a looonng day!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #55 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

    (Just for the record, Matt should have known it was Saxon from the beginning, because he would have recognized his voice/scent.)

    Logic suggests this would be the end of Mr. Fear… but no! Matt and Natasha  encounter him in San Francisco, in Daredevil #90-91…

Caption: “His arm jerks out– fingers brush– and then, the Widow tumbles away, her ebon-suited body twisting– her hands flailing, legs spinning–”

Matt: “TASHA! She froze up– couldn’t make the extra effort needed to complete the swing! Something about her heartbeat– rushing, panicky! She’s terrified! I’ve got to chance it– push away from the flagpole, try to grab her before it’s– too late!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #90 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

    If the previous story was mostly melodrama, this one is viscerally frightening. Our heroes are struck, without warning, with bouts of overwhelming terror– a dangerous affliction for people who lead such risk-filled lives. With Mr. Fear seemingly long dead and no obvious source for these attacks, Matt and Natasha are helpless to prevent them. 

Caption: “This is how it begins: as suddenly as a rifle shot, a surge of inexplicable fear courses through Matt’s arced body– and with that fear, all thoughts of contacting a friend on the staff of the Daily Chronicle seem to dissolve into darkness– abruptly buried under a grim sensation of choking– A sensation that builds as he spins helplessly at the end of his billy club wire! Trying desperately to regain control, Matt finds himself unable to think– and becomes increasingly aware of the terror clutching at his heart– a fright unlike any he’s ever felt before– a fear without cause– a horror without reason!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #90 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

    Natasha is convinced the attacks are tied to a mission from her past, engineered by one of her former espionage allies. But in a surprise twist, the real culprit is a man named Larry Cranston– one of Matt’s fellow law school alumni, and one of his new law partners since moving to San Francisco. It turns out that Star Saxon was not the only person to benefit from the original Mr. Fear’s death, and with his jet pack, Cranston has been attacking Matt and Natasha from a distance.  

Cranston: “I heard a sound from the room across the hall– voices arguing. A door was open– I looked in, and saw a man called Starr Saxon shoot another man– Zolton Drago, the original Mr. Fear. Drago lived long enough to tell me where he’d hidden his costume and equipment– he thought it would buy his life– Unfortunately, it wasn’t mine to give. He died as I held him.”

Matt: “But why did you do all this, Larry? And how did you know–”

Cranston: “When Matt Murdock moved to San Francisco with Madame Natasha– and Daredevil with the Black Widow– it wasn’t hard. And– I’ve always despised you, Murdock. In school, it was always– Murdock this, Murdock that– and I tell you, I’d had ENOUGH!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #91 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

    Cranston isn’t the only person to notice the coincidence of Matt and DD both moving to California with Natasha– it’s actually amazing more people don’t figure out his secret identity because of this– but it is significant that he knows, since his motivations are so personal. His irrationally intense hatred of Matt, and their shared history, makes him a particularly eerie figure among the ranks of DD’s villains, and it will come back in his most horrifying appearance, in Ed Brubaker’s run (which I’ll be covering later). While he appears to fall to his death at the end of this issue (that sort of thing happened a lot in early Daredevil…), he isn’t gone yet. 

    Marvel Team-Up #92 introduces the next guy to inherit the Mr. Fear identity– Alan Fagan, Larry Cranston’s nephew. Like his predecessors, he attempts to find new, more insidious uses for the Fear Gas…

Alan: “Ha! I can’t wait to see the faces of those buffoons who said Alan Fagan would never amount to anything… They dared to laugh at me… because I kept getting thrown out of schools… wasted my father’s fortune… Well, I don’t need his money now– or their fancy schools! I’ve got something better than that now! They won’t laugh at me anymore– because I’ll make them deadly afraid of me… and I owe it all to you, Uncle Larry! You despised me– but your money and your Mr. Fear costume still fell into my hands after you died! I have the imagination to use the identity in ways neither you nor the original Mr. Fear ever dreamed of! My genius requires a large-scale reign of terror– and this radioactive isotope I stole tonight will bring it about!”

Marvel Team-Up vol. 1 #92 by Steven Grant, Carmine Infantino, and Carl Gafford

    (Larry is around Matt’s age. Don’t ask me why his nephew looks so old.)

    Alan is a little too cartoony in this issue to seem like a serious threat, but he is still dangerous. 

Peter: “H-how… did you d-do this to m-me?”

Alan: “My Fear Potion, insect– injected through this ring when I hit you! I usually administer it as a gas, in dilute form– but a man of your power required a full-strength dose! You are mine, Spider-Man, body and soul– and we are going to conduct a little experiment! I am curious as to just how many injections of pure Fear Potion you can receive… before you die– of fear!”

    Fortunately, Spider-Man and Hawkeye are able to take him out and send him to prison, but even that is not the end… 

    Daredevil volume 1#222, one of my favorite issues in Denny O’Neil’s run, opens with this chilling scene, during Glorianna O’Breen’s return flight from Ireland to the U.S.: 

Caption: “This is Aer Lingus flight number 2241, originating at Dublin and bound for Kennedy. It will never arrive.”

Hijacker: “Stewardess– tell the pilot to put this crate down at the Tinkerville airport.”

Glori: “A man… with a wee plastic gun– the kind that the detectors don’t detect. A man of violence… bloodshed… the things I’ve seen so much of at home. Is there no escapin’ them, then? No!”

Caption: “Sudden, shattering the near-silence of the cabin– the shot sends a bullet into an unexpected target…”

Hijacker: “Aiiieeeee!”

Glori: “Funny odor… gas… Noooooo”

Pilot: “[…] You guys smell something?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #222 by Denny O’Neil, David Mazzucchelli, and Ken Feduniewicz

    Matt, Foggy, and Becky receive news that Glori’s plane has crashed in a New Jersey swamp, and Matt and Foggy rush to the scene, fearing the worst. 

Cop: “…Sorry I can’t tell you more, Mr. Murdock. But your friend Ms. O’Breen isn’t here.”

Matt: “Are you absolutely sure, Officer?”

Cop: “’Fraid so, sir. There were only fifty passengers on the plane– and we’ve accounted for everyone except Ms. O’Breen and two others– a Dr. Sadd and a local man named Julius Mudd. What I figure happened is, they were… well, their bodies were thrown clear. We’ll find ‘em when the rain stops.”

Matt (Caption): “Bodies… death– Another woman dead? Like Elektra? Like Heather? Another of my women dead?”

    Refusing to believe that Glori was killed in the crash, Matt changes into his DD suit and sets out into the swamp to find her. Partway into his hunt, he runs into Natasha, who is searching for one of the other missing passengers– Dr. Ephesus Sadd, who acquired and subsequently improved a sample of the Fear Gas for use in chemical warfare. One of the great strengths of this story is the fact that the antagonist remains off-panel for significant chunks of the issue. Matt himself is not under attack, and so we, just like him, are left fearing for Glori’s safety as he and Natasha race to her rescue.

    Meanwhile, Glori and Dr. Sadd are living through a nightmare. They have been kidnapped by the hijacker and his associates. It turns out that he was hired to assassinate Sadd and now– having seen his worth, but unaware of why he’s so valuable– he’s decided to hold him ransom instead. As the hijacker attempts to give Glori to his brother as a wife, Sadd decides to use his secret cargo to escape. 

Dr. Sadd: “Before the ceremony begins, I would like to deliver a… a sermon! Yes, a sermon. Always at weddings there is sermonizing. My topic will be fear. It is a subject dear to me– a subject I have studied… a subject I cherish like a child. I have seen fear drive men to splendid achievements and crush them like insects… It is the force which lifted mankind from the primeval ooze and which keeps us from being as angels–”

Hijacker: “Git on with the wedding.”

Dr. Sadd: “Yes, the wedding. I have brought a gift–!”

Glori: “No! Don’t do it!”

    When Matt and Natasha arrive, they encounter a horrific scene: Glori and her kidnappers, driven into a violent frenzy by fear. 

Matt: “–Glorianna! Glori… are you all right?”

Glori: “No… no… no no NONONONO”

Matt: “[…] I was expecting to find people whimpering in terror… which is what the original Mr. Fear’s gas caused.”

Natasha: “Obviously, Dr. Sadd changed the formula. Glorianna and the others are reacting like cornered rats.”

    The creepy conclusion of the issue is two-fold: It reveals a second version of the Fear Gas– one that drives people to lash out in fear, rather than being subdued by it. And it ends with Dr. Sadd dying of fear, despite the revelation that his canister of Fear Gas was empty– thus showing just how powerful terror, as a mere concept, can be. This is an issue in which Mr. Fear isn’t even present but is nevertheless still profoundly dangerous, and that sums up why he is such a good antagonist. Way back in Daredevil #6, Stan Lee commented that Mr. Fear shared certain similarities with the Purple Man, who had just been introduced two issues before, but these later stories are where those similarities really start to appear. Mr. Fear and the Purple Man are effective villains for similar reasons: they are both immensely powerful, manipulate basic facets of human nature, and can strike from a distance (or without even being directly involved at all!) with unpredictable and deadly consequences. 

    If this wasn’t creepy enough, Chichester goes full-on macabre with his Mr. Fear-centered story in Daredevil volume 1 #314-315 (not digitized yet– come on, Marvel!), in which he introduces another variation on Mr. Fear. This version is Alan Fagan’s daughter, Ariel, who uses the code name Shock, and who is both tragic and terrifying. While I’m generally not a fan of Scott McDaniel’s art style, it works to great effect here to depict the twisted gruesomeness of Shock’s physical appearance. 

Matt: “All I have to go by is the sudden shift in the crude patterns my radar blocks out for me– only a hint as to the radical transformation that has seemingly occurred. Perceptions become clouded in the sudden wave of warm gases that wrap around me, raising the hairs on the backs of my arms. I’m still trying to make sense out of the sensations, trying to form a mental picture of what I’m dealing with, when the gases turn suddenly cold– and unease becomes an uncontrollable rage. Intellect knows better, but emotion overrides. Guttural sounds crawl up out of both our throats as we throw ourselves together– a railing grapple empty of technique and filled with a purpose no higher than to tear each other apart. In my head, I know we’re stories above the hard city streets. In my heart, I just want her dead before we hit.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #314 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Christie Scheele

    I think I’ve said it before, but I can’t say it enough– I love Chichester’s writing. What a way to end an issue!

    Shock is yet another reinvention of the concept of Mr. Fear; her powers come from her body itself. She arranges for her father to be attacked in prison. His attackers cut the skin off his face(!), which Shock then uses to brew a concoction that when ingested, causes her to undergo a grotesque physical transformation and gives her the ability to literally exhale Fear Gas. (The idea is that her father’s skin absorbed traces of the gas, which could then be distilled). She uses these powers to cause mass hysteria by making people hallucinate things that anger and disgust them. Those in her sway turn primal and bloodthirsty. Matt’s battles with her turn into attempts to keep crowds of random civilians from killing each other. 

    Shock is also more sympathetic than any of the other Fear-styled characters. We learn that her father was neglectful, and she has been left alone to care for her ill mother. Her decision to take over her father’s identity comes from a desire to both overshadow his legacy, and to make money to pay for her mother’s treatments. 

Shock: “That’s better. That’s steady… Oh, I worry so, Mommy! I’ve always worried! […] Keep going, that’s it, you’re doing fine…”

Daredevil vol. 1 #315 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Christie Scheele

    Matt subdues Shock by taking her by surprise, and tries to ensure that both she and her mother receive the help they need. He hopes this is the end of his Mr. Fear problem at last, but he is wrong. Sadly, Shock doesn’t appear again (I really like her), but her father recovers from his face-stripping and much later resumes the Mr. Fear identity– notably, just in time to provide this funny interlude during Marvel’s “Fear Itself” event: 

Alan: “This is just terribly, terribly wrong. I mean, really– I’m Mr. Fear… but it’s not me making everybody queasy. Used to be I’d be the one dragging everybody’s deepest fears out of their closets, for all the world to see. Now the bar’s been raised– or is it lowered? Whatever. With everybody running around in a state of anxiety, nobody gives a damn about a guy named Mr. Fear. Yesterday, some loser stops me in front of Penn Station, gets in my face… yells, ‘Hey– Doctor Doom!’ Doctor Doom, for god’s sake. I mean, really– can you believe this?”

Fear Itself: The Home Front #5, “A Moment with… Mr. Fear” by Howard Chaykin and Edgar Delgado

    In an overarching plot that starts toward the end of  Karl Kesel’s run and extends all the way through Joe Kelly’s, Larry Cranston returns, miraculously alive and working as a law professor at Columbia University. (If anyone has started to get their Mr. Fears mixed up, Cranston is the one who attended law school with Matt and knows his secret identity.) He is more dangerous than ever, and works from the shadows to avoid detection. Armed with an extra potent version of the Fear Gas, Cranston enslaves people to do his bidding, sending his agents into Matt’s life to create chaos by infecting others with the gas. These victims are helpless to fight back, and Cranston seems to be able to engineer how they react. When convenient, they lash out with violence, becoming dangerous to everyone around them– while others are rendered obedient and docile by fear. 

Matt: “Vinnie’s heartbeat is erratic, and his sweat carries a trace of ammonia… His body is rejecting something through the skin… the remnants of Fear Gas… Have to get through to him somehow…”

Matt: “…Vinnie, I’m here to help you. Vinnie… your wife and daughter miss you.”

Vinnie: “M-my wife? I– I don’t have a family. I can’t have a family… I don’t deserve one… *Gasp* Oh god. A-all I have… m-means nothing… nothing but the truth… yes… yes… I’ll be good…”

Matt: “(His voice… so distant… almost as if he’s not speaking to me… His pulse just sped up… shallow breathing… Could he be hallucinating?) They miss you, Vinnie. They want you to come home.”

Vinnie: “[…] Fear controls everything. Knows everything. Hears everything. Fear is God. I serve him… forever…”

Daredevil vol. 1 #366 by Joe Kelly, Gene Colan, and Christie Scheele

    As Matt continues, barely, to fight back, Cranston increases his efforts to tear him down, concluding with sending a serial killer cop into his life and then framing Karen Page for his (the cop’s) murder. Karen is put on trial, and Cranston gleefully sabotages the proceedings from behind the scenes. Besieged on both sides of his life by someone who seems like an all-powerful force, Matt nearly gives in to despair.   

Cranston: “How hang the scales of justice, Counselor? The blind lady treats her consort well, I pray.”

Matt: “(Kill him. No. Make him talk.) Why? Why Karen? Why us?”

Cranston: “Come now, Murdock… what good is a nom de guerre if I don’t back it up from time to time… I want you to lose your faith in everything. Your woman. Yourself. The system of justice you so carelessly flaunt when it suits you… because once you strip a man of his faith… all that’s left is fear. That… and an ex-junkie whore girlfriend in jail. Oh, I’m sorry… did that last part slip out?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #375 by Joe Kelly, Chris Claremont, Ariel Olivetti, Christie Scheele, et al.

    Even when Matt finally manages to track down evidence against Cranston that he can use to prove his guilt and Karen’s innocence, he still nearly loses, because Cranston has a member of the jury under his sway. This juror nearly succeeds in releasing Fear Gas to impact the verdict, when he is stopped by– of all people– the Kingpin. 

Matt: “What do you want, Fisk?”

Fisk: “Tut tut… such venom… towards a friend helping a friend. A present. The ghoul used hypnosis so you couldn’t smell the gas. Clever… but he should have chosen a juror with a stronger heart. He’ll live, don’t worry. Just with a pacemaker.”

Matt: “You– why? Why?”

Fisk: “Simple. Someone was playing in my sandbox… and no one gets to break you but me. Congratulations, Counselor. You won your woman’s freedom. With a little help from a friend. I trust you will remember the favor… when I return.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #375 by Joe Kelly, Chris Claremont, Ariel Olivetti, Christie Scheele, et al.

    (D’aww…)

    It’s a shaky victory, but it lasts all the way until the end of volume 2– when Ed Brubaker gives us the most upsetting Mr. Fear story to date in #95-106. 

    The setup for this story is similar to that of its predecessor: Matt’s life starts falling into chaos for reasons that aren’t initially clear. His law partner, Becky Blake, is urged by an old friend to help Melvin Potter (the Gladiator), who is accused of killing people while in prison. Matt and Foggy agree to help, since they have a long-standing relationship with Melvin and suspect foul play. But then, Melvin is sprung from prison and goes on a rampage, before nearly killing Milla Donovan (Matt’s wife) and then trying to commit suicide. This coincides with an increase in violent crimes throughout Hell’s Kitchen. Becky’s friend kills himself under mysterious circumstances. Matt knows someone has engineered all of this, but has no idea who.

Cranston: “Hello, Matt… I thought it was time I said hi. You can hear me… right?”

Matt: “What? Who is this?”

Cranston: “Heh, little joke. I know you can hear me, Matt. But I can’t hear you. And don’t bother trying to recognize my voice… even your ears couldn’t get past this voice-scrambler.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #97 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, and Matt Hollingsworth

    Before too long, he learns the truth– Larry Cranston is back, and is more powerful than ever. With an array of underlings from all walks of life at his command and a new arsenal of fear-inducing chemicals (including a new drug he is distributing on the streets), he appears capable of just about anything. He singlehandedly throws Matt’s life, and Hell’s Kitchen’s criminal underworld, into chaos. 

Cranston: “It was so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t discover it myself… the myriad ways in which fear affects the human brain. But it took Professor Dante Govich only minutes to realize the full potential of the drugs from my arsenal. His experiments– once he came under my persuasion– once he looked at me with fear and awe– made all this possible. Dante understood the links between fear and love… the synaptic paths from desire to paranoia to insanity. Under my thumb, he created new drugs beyond anything I could have dreamed of.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #102 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, and Matt Hollingsworth

    The whole time Matt remains one step behind, and has barely figured out who his enemy is before he gets doused with one of the new versions of the Fear Gas. As a celebration of the hundredth issue of the volume, #100 features a visually stunning and thematically disturbing sequence of Matt tearing his way through the city streets, hallucinating enemies all around while still helpless to attacks from Mr. Fear’s minions. 

Matt: “Your lies… mean nothing! You hear me, Fisk?! You hear me?!”

Cop: “… Heh heh… heh… Why do you keep… henh… calling me… Fisk? …Please… just stop hitting me…”

Matt: “Oh, God… No.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #100 by Ed Brubaker, Marko Djurdjevic, Michael Lark, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

    But Cranston’s most disturbing attack is inflicted upon Milla, Matt’s wife. Without Matt’s knowledge, she is dosed with a concoction that amps up her emotions and makes her violent when angry. Her new condition is the final blow to Matt’s mental state, as she risks jail time for accidentally killing someone. Cranston baits Matt by engineering her release, then– the moment Matt starts to experience some hope– has one of his minions sabotage her into committing another violent act, which gets her locked away for good. 

Matt: “Milla, what have you done? What have they done to you? Milla, I can hear your heartbeat… your breathing… It’s me, baby… calm down… It’s Matt… I’m here.”

Milla: “But… I don’t understand… I don’t… I don’t know… I don’t know what happened…”

Matt: “I know. I know you don’t. It’s not your fault.”

Matt (caption): “I hold her tight, but she’s already gone. I can hear the sirens approaching from three blocks away. An ambulance and three police cruisers. They’ll be here soon… to take her away again.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #104 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

    Brubaker’s run is the darkest, most brutal Daredevil run to date, and this story plays a major part in that. As his failures pile up, Matt grows more and more desperate, more and more willing to cross lines he might not have crossed before. After beating and torturing Cranston’s whereabouts from one of his pawns, Matt hunts him down, ready to wrest the Fear Gas antidote from him any way he can… at which point Cranston deals the final blow to Matt’s psyche. 

Cranston: “There is no cure, Matt. That’s why I had to kill Dante Govich… He was my chemist… Can’t believe that didn’t occur to you, Mr. Valedictorian. So go ahead, hit me some more. It means nothing… Everything you do means nothing.”

Matt: “No…”

Cranston: “’Cause I beat you weeks ago… you just didn’t know it.”

Daredevil vol. 2  #105 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

    This story is heartbreaking on every level. Matt goes through all of that, and achieves nothing. He loses. Cranston gets the last laugh. It’s also not a major supervillain victory. It’s not like Cranston was trying to take over the world, or anything. His motivations are personal and frivolous, and that somehow makes it worse. He just tears Matt’s life to pieces because he wants to, because he can, and because Matt is powerless to stop him, and then gets a little chuckle about it afterward. Of course, the real victim of this story is Milla, who is still, to this day, locked up in a psychiatric hospital– a heartbreaking (and, frankly, criminal) fate for such a fantastic character. This is also the last Matt has seen of Larry Cranston. He hasn’t had chance to retaliate, and in my opinion, this victory alone would cement Mr. Fear as one of the most dangerous Daredevil antagonists. The fact that the various Mr. Fears have been at the center of 55 years-worth of genuinely disturbing stories just further backs this up. 

#soulfireinc #Mr. Fear #Zolton Drago #Starr Saxon #Larry Cranston #Alan Fagan #Shock #Adventures in Continuity #Recommendations list #Asks

[ambersky0319]

Amber Rambles about a Story-

So I wanna ramble about an original story, the ideas I have for it, the characters, the world in general and the one person in my house that would listen and give good feedback or ideas and knows the basics of what I have planned is currently asleep so

There's a lot here oof-

----------------------

So to start off I wanna scratch the surface that is the world before I delve into the characters

The story(from what I have planned it'll take place over 11 books) takes place mainly on an alternate-earth that is more dystopian/sci-fi ish and an original fantasy world I've been calling Fandahli. The first part of the first book takes place in Fandahli, and the second and third parts on this alternate-earth.

The earth is basically unified, most people speaking a new language just known as Emor(basically English under a different name). Technological advances have come to a stop, or so it would seem. The world is pretty much American culture having taken over media, erasing other cultures, etc. They now call themselves Emorians. Not a good place to be.

They had created an organization about twenty-five years before the story takes place, at the time called Prosper, but later it renamed itself as Tempest. The organization was less of that and more like a government experiment, combining animal genes into the genes of humans in a certain way to create the 'ultimate human'. Originally, the Emorians created them to keep everyone in line. These humans were trained to be assassins without the government's knowing however and it wasn't long before Emorian officials began to disappear.

Now Fandahli! Fandahli is a world that's very similar to Earth, but is held together by magic(in this universe, Earth also technically has magic but it's very little/very weak and has been dormant for so long it's been forgotten). It was created by four Cinomeds, powerful beings that have powers no one still on Fandahli has. These four are: Rikki, Angel, Serranidae, and Aki.

Along with that, the most two important continents on Fandahli are Vola and Tione.

After the War of Cinomeds, where Angel rebelled against her companions, the land was pretty much destroyed. But portals to other worlds remained open and the land healed. Humans then arrived after discovering one of the portals, but soon after the portals all closed once more, trapping them there. The humans adapted, gaining magic to help them survive, and changed their name to Dalis.

The Dalis split over the different continents, and then into different kingdoms, and grew from there. The main kingdom focused on is Tongyi, located within Vola. It remains spring there no matter the time of year.

The powers of the Dalis vary, but usuaily end up being one of these:

Weapon-Creation

Barrier-Creation

Healing

Barrier creation and weapon creation can sometimes occur within the same Dali, though it isn't too common- but it's not rare either

Aside from Dalis, there are also Dragons. The dragon species vary on where on Tione they come from, or if they come from a different part of Fandahli. I'm still designing some of them.

And then there are the werewolves. Most werewolf villages are peaceful, and are respected by all Dali. It's believed to be a great dishonor to fight any werewolf village. I'm still developing the werewolves as well, I just know they play important roles within the story itself later on.

Back to Cinomeds cause I forgot an important detail!

After the War of Cinomeds(thought to be a war of gods by the Dali, they're also thought to just be legends), Angel was forcefully split apart. Her soul was torn and although Rikki(the one who defeated her) believed that she was gone for good, it seemed that she would just be reincarnated into two other people(Dalis for a long while, later encompassing both Fandahlian species and Humans) that when together could possibly turn into her. It was rare that any of the reincarnates actually met.

The other Cinomeds fell into a deep slumber until the portals would be reopened.

I feel I've rambled long enough about the world 😅 how about my babies next?

Evanna Mays

Evanna is a force to be reckoned with

The youngest queen to ever rule Tongyi, taking the throne soon after her (quite hated)mother's death. She took the throne midway through a war with another kingdom

Evanna herself is loved among her subjects, though many often try to tell her to do or not do certain things. Try to give her restrictions

Like don't fight on the front lines, have an heir if you're gonna do that, just stay on your throne, don't go to other kingdoms it's too dangerous

Each person fails

Especially whenever they bring up an heir, cause it's not like she doesn't like kids she just never wants to have a biological one

And she refuses to marry someone with a kid so they'd become her heir

She's Aro/Ace if ya didn't catch on

Her family all has bright red hair and pastel blue eyes. They're the only ones in all of Vola with these traits and are quite recognizeable.

She later adopts and people get off her case about having an heir because he is her son just not her biological son but that changes nothing cause she loves him and will fight anyone who thinks he's not fit for the throne

Dani Mays

The adopted son

He's just like Evanna, rushing into battle, and citizens of Tongyi just panic because oh fuck he's gonna die he's more reckless than her-

Very social but people treat him so differently cause he's the prince that he can't seem to make any friends and he h a t e s that

Then two humans come into his life and he is very very bi

Queue a whole love-triangle subplot that goes well

Dani adores reading and learning overall, spending hours in Evanna's old study

Becomes King far sooner than he had wanted

Life goes to hell not long after coronation and he suffers from depression and nothing's good for anyone during this time

Does he get a happy ending? Who knows

He doesn't

Oh also he's a biromantic asexual boi and proud

Leona Carter

Young woman with a troubled past, Leona is a very stubborn and apathetic human

Is a high-ranking member of Tempest

It was a last resort in a difficult situation and she's just glad her heart is still beating

Is pretty well-off so long as she follows orders

But if course she later joins a rebellion after becoming very gay for one of her targets that she now refuses to kill for other reasons

Slow burn subplot ensues

She nearly dies many times

95% of the time she does not care if she dies

Just wants a peaceful life

Does she ever get it?

Eventually, after losing something really important though

Marie Sydney

Marie had a decent life, great parents and an awesome protective older brother, and his new daughter

Yeah that all shattered after something happened to her and she was left to cope by herself cause she wasn't sure what to do about the situation

She just adopted a fifteen year old btw who has no idea about her situation

Then she meets Leona

She thinks Leona's great, but there's something off about this news reporter

And then Leona reveals her actual job and the original reason she ever asked Marie out and she's sobbing and a gun is in her hand but she's placing it in Marie's and begging for Marie to pull the trigger

Turns out Marie was a target but Leona just can't kill Marie, not knowing what's happened to Marie nor what could happen now that the two grew close. But Leona's incapable of taking her own life

Marie doesn't pull the trigger

Life somehow gets worse as she's tangled up in this whole Tempest bullshit

Falls for Leona in the process and is very conflicted about it

Taylor Sydney

Adopted by Marie at 15

Her life's pretty normal until a portal is discovered and when she's a high school senior her class is forced to learn about Vola and Tongyi specifically. They eventually go to Tongyi through the portal

Turns out her Mom and Leona know the queen of Tongyi cause things have happened

Meets Dani and Jeremiah

They find out they can form Angel and that's when shit really goes down

Things happen, love confessions made, near death experiences, loves drifting apart, etc. etc.

Doesn't have a happy ending

Jeremiah Canales

My trans boi

I love him, he gets mistaken for Evanna's son quite a lot, usually by humans

He identifies as pan, and doesn't experience dysphoria. Oh and he was a Tempest Engineer for awhile

His family was pretty accepting of him once he reconnected with them(originally drifted apart cause of reasons I have yet to create)

Is pretty much the only braincell Angel has when formed

He feels really, really guilty that weapons he created were used to kill dozens of people and somehow equates that to him killing them even if he was forced to make the weapons

Oh and Deathstriker(highest ranking member of Tempest) uses his Tempest name and despite being absolutely awful in every way refuses to deadname or misgender him

It's the one thing he'll ever appreciate Deathstriker doing

-------------------

This ain't even all the characters(obviously). There's still Kord Sydney, Chloe Jansen, and Neva Sydney, all of whom are still being developed. Deathstriker, and all the Cinomeds. Past Angels that will be relevant at different parts of the story. And many other characters that I've never even mentioned in the past.

Anywho fair warning, the series does not end quite that happily. I'm hoping to make the last chapter(an epilogue) to have a bittersweet feeling but idk I'm debating it.

Anyway if you got this far....

Thanks? I think? Idk I've never had anyone get this far I think in any original thing I've ever made- if you got this far tho here's some hearts cause I love you for taking some sort of interest in my personal creations 😅

💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤

#cinomed chronicles #ambersky ocs #ambersky #ambersky oc #ambersky original writing #original content #rambling #if anyone ever has any questions about this story #i will literally cry #and gladly answer through my tears and love you forever #but i doubt anyone will XD #yall are here for the gay fanfic #not my gonna-be-angsty confusing original story

[codenamebooks]

I posted 1,043 times in 2021

52 posts created (5%)

991 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 19.1 posts.

I added 1,612 tags in 2021

#book photography - 630 posts

#bookshelf - 181 posts

#open book - 177 posts

#bookish - 114 posts

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Longest Tag: 109 characters

#i knew i would like lucien and elain together but i was telling myself that i was respecting elain's distance

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

10 Best Books of 2020

I’m super excited for this post because this has been my best reading year since early high school. That means that I got to read many books that I really liked so it was actually kind of hard solidifying the entire list. I had been updating it after every book I read but for this post I made a few tweaks.

Of course, as a fair warning, these are simply my opinions. If you hate these books, that’s perfectly fine with me but I personally loved them and gave them all 4 or 5 out of 5 stars.

1. A Court of Thorns and Roses series (#1-#3.5) by Sarah J. Maas

Although two books separated the series in my ranking, I thought it’d be unfair for 4 out of my top 10 to be from the same series. This series seriously blew me away. It was the first time that I had to buy the next book immediately so I could read it. I was hooked into the drama and fantasy world quicker than I have with any other fantasy I’ve read. I believe it was the first book that really pushed me toward fantasies for the rest of the year and I’m happy with that.

2. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

This is my favorite novel of the year but, as I said, the entirety of the ACOTAR series trumped it. Regardless, I’ve never been so drawn into a story and plot. I finally understood what reviewers meant when they claim that a story is “atmospheric”. The entire time I felt like I was experiencing every little thing with Addie because of how beautiful and lyrical Schwab’s descriptions are. I really, truly hope that, if/when I become more serious about my writing, that I will be able to write like this.

3. Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins

This was my contemporary romance of the year! Oh my gosh did it make me so happy and giddy with excitement and laughter, even sadness. Out of all of the books in this trilogy, this was definitely the most mature and therefore my favorite. Nothing felt ridiculous or over done like in Lola and not immature like some themes in Anna. Josh easily moved towards the top of my list for fictional boyfriends because he was honestly so cute and real. The depth was amazing!

4. All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

The book that made me sob at 2 a.m. This book holds a special place in my heart because it’s only the second novel to have made me cry so heavily. Finch and Violet were such brilliant characters and I loved their arcs individually and together so much. Even though for a few pages I could see it coming, my heart still broke into little pieces over the last however many pages after. Although it had it’s funny and heartwarming highs, I really felt the lows.

5. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

The third book that has ever made me sob. This was a narrative structure that I’ve never seen before and I didn’t hate it’s mysterious plot twists and turns. Although I feel like there are some hints that I might have missed, I still fully grasped the weight of the book. It broke my heart in the third part because of how much I had grown to love our four liars. So much so that I started to dislike them due to their very consistent (yay!) personalities and habits leading me to be even more upset.

6. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

This was important and impactful. The way that Celeste Ng managed to encompass so many histories and storylines and futures was beautiful! It takes true talent to have so much control of so many characters and relationships. The way that she hands the question of morality to the reader, that the narrator doesn’t justify anything, just tells us the story and let’s us decide needs to happen more!

7. Carve the Mark duology by Veronica Roth

Once again, a series grouped together because they didn’t rank far apart. This duo was specifically boosted for me due to the second novel, which I found was also the case for many others on Goodreads. The experience of the growth in writing was brilliant! This was fun and adventurous and the world is so expansive. I really loved how the plot and pace in both books were handled. Nothing was ever rushed or ignored and no plot holes were left open. That’s all I ask for, especially out of such a short series.

8. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken

This was another dystopian fantasy read that I enjoyed because of how fun it was. I liked the way that Bracken handles writing younger characters in a traumatic setting. It felt more real than the 16 year olds in YAs from my middle school years who just knew everything immediately or fell in love in .2 seconds. Ruby grows and builds her strength and abilities throughout the entire novel so that she’s able to use them in the chaos at the end, and we’re proud to see that she’s taking control of her powers, not only in a life or death situation. The relationship between Liam and Ruby (and Chubs and Zu) is adorable and the slow build into friendship and the drive to protect each other and then to love (?!) is the sweetest thing.

9. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

There were a lot of ridiculous things in this first book but it was entertaining. The world is so expansive and I believe that when Clare grasps it in the later books it’ll be even better. The pacing is what keep me afloat in this book because it was constantly moving towards something new. Although that allowed plot holes to open as we flew past subplots, I’m sure they’ll be addressed in due time. I mean, Clare and this series/world wouldn’t be popular if it didn’t get better, right?

10. Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

I didn’t include this with Isla and the Happily Ever After like I did with other series because it didn’t meet the level of love I had for Isla. It was fun but it was incredibly dramatic and unrealistic on some fronts that I couldn’t manage allow. But I laughed and I swooned exactly where I was supposed to. Even with it being ridiculous, the exaggerations were endearing because it felt like a world further away from mine than most contemporaries. People need to admit, extremes can add to the appeal more than it takes away.

16 notes • Posted 2021-08-13 17:01:47 GMT

#4

My Favorite Quotes from The Fates Divide

(Carve the Mark duology, Book #2) by Veronica Roth

“Grief is absolute.” page 37

***

“’Luck... is simply a construct to make people believe they are in control of some aspect of their destinies.” page 75

***

“We bury ourselves as deep in this little pocket of happiness as we can get.” page 117

***

“’Kyerta... is a revelation that causes your world to shift on its axis. It is a profound truth that, once you know it, inevitably alters your future, though it has already occurred and should, therefore, change nothing.’” page 198

***

“And Cyra––bursting at the seams with energy, opinions, even anger––was more like his dad.

Maybe that was why it had been so hard not to love her.” page 316

***

“The doctor my mother had taken me to when I was young had told me my currengift was an expression of what I thought I. deserved, and what I thought other people deserved: pain. Perhaps there was truth in that. Perhaps I was now learning that I. didn’t deserve i t was much as I once thought.” page 358

***

“Behind her... half-hidden by shadow, is Cisi Kereseth, wearing an enigmatic smile. her head is adorned with a slim band of silver, the adornment of a chancellor’s spouse.” page 442

***

“All the women in my life, for awing me with their resilience.” from Acknowledgments

18 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 17:01:00 GMT

#3

My Favorite Quotes from Every Heart a Doorway

(Wayward Children, Book #2) by Seanan McGuire | Goodreads

“Narrate the impossible things, turn them into a story, and they could be controlled.” 2%

***

“She was a story, not an epilogue.” 4%

***

“to reveal what looked like a cross between a used bookstore and a tailor’s shop. Piles of books covered every available surface. The furniture, such as it was––a bed, a desk, a table––appeared to be made from the piles of books, all save for the bookshelves lining the walls.” 14%

***

“Oklahoma accent thick as peanut butter spread across a slice of toast.” 14%

***

“‘No. Celibacy is a choice. I’m asexual. I don’t get those feelings.’” 18%

***

“‘I’m Jack, short for Jacqueline,’ said the one in the glasses. She pointed to the one in the pink. ‘This is Jill, short for Jillian, because our parents should never have been allowed to name their own children.’” 22%

***

“‘We notice the silence of men. We depend upon the silence of women.’” 27%

***

“‘We don’t teach you how to dwell. We also don’t teach you how to forget. We teach you how to move on.’” 28%

***

“‘Assumptions will be the death of all,’” 34%

***

“her accusations had been met with reality, and they didn’t have anypolace else to go.” 46%

***

“Nobody gets to tell me how my story ends but me...” 88%

20 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 17:02:07 GMT

#2

booklr introduction, a fresh start

hi! my name is nalijah [na-lie-juh] (you can also call me nali or oklahoma if you want) and i’m here for good in the booklr community. i have been in and out of the book community since sixth grade on instagram, tumblr, even wordpress.

i’ve loved reading since i was a kid but school got in the way. as i’m getting more personal time, i’m rediscovering my love for reading. i wanted to make this blog to write book reviews, participate in challenges, discuss book related topics, reblog pictures of books and possibly post my own, and more.

some of my favorites include:

books:

- a court of thorns and roses series by sarah j. maas - to all the boys i’ve loved before trilogy by jenny han - the invisible life of addie larue by v. e. schwab

young/new adult fantasy and contemporary romance

enemies to lovers, love triangles, villain turns good (i love a good character arc!!), forbidden love

check out my goodreads here

a few non-book related things to know:

19

third year at ohio state university this fall (2021). i’m studying english with a focus in creative writing with minors in fashion and psychology

from oklahoma but live in ohio for school

virgo: future-orientated, planner, imaginative

black woman

learning to sew, love all things fashion, and am focusing on my writing

some favorites include:

- [tv] shondaland, avatar: the last airbender, 9-1-1 - [music] ariana grande, billie eilish, lewis del mar

35 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 19:12:36 GMT

#1

My Favorite Quotes from We Were Liars

by E. Lockhart

Goodreads

“The family calls us four the Liars, and probably we deserve it.” page 7

***

“Someone once wrote that a novel should deliver a series of small astonishments. I get the same thing spending an hour with you.

Also, here is a green toothbrush tied in a ribbon.

It expresses my feelings inadequately.” page 30

***

“If you want to live where people are not afraid of mice, you must give up living in palaces.” page 106

***

“and maybe,

just maybe,

he’d come back one day,

and burn that

fucking

palace

to the ground.” page 148

***

“We told each other

over and over: do what you are afraid to do.” page 181

***

“Thank you for... crying tears...” A Note From E. Lockhart

63 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 17:01:04 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #about me

[cinnaminsvga]

Memento Mori | Jimin

→ summary: At 7:49PM, Park Jimin is supposed to die. In his last 24 hours, it is your job as a grim reaper to make it his last good day by impersonating a lost loved one and giving him closure. Against all odds, your visit only makes it harder for him to pass on. 

→ genre: angst, grim reaper!reader

→ warnings: character death, mentions of suicide/depression/self-loathing

→ pairing(s): Jimin x Reader; Jimin x Hoseok

→ words: 4K

→ a/n: semi-based on HYYH series plot line, but I took A LOT of artistic liberties. you’ll see the similarities thought, just thought you should know. this is basically a series chronicling grim reaper!reader’s three most heartbreaking missions. 

→ masterlist // mission 99 // mission 100 // mission 2

Mission #99

Client: Park Jimin

Age: 18 years old

Death Date: October 8, 20XX.

Death Time: 7:49PM

Chance of Death: 95% success rate; medium chance of fluctuation

Cause of Death: Suicide by drowning

Grim Reaper in charge: L/N Y/N

Host: Jung Hoseok; Park Jimin’s close friend

––♡♡♡––

“Hoseok-hyung? You’re back?”

A boy with messy bleached blonde hair and tired brown eyes stares at you incredulously, as if he has just seen a ghost. Technically, he isn’t wrong.

“Hey Jimin, missed me?” You tease, your voice sounding giggly and optimistic, just like how he might have sounded like when the two boys last met. You still aren’t used to this new appearance, but you try your best to imitate Hoseok’s ticks and habits as closely as possible.

You expect Jimin to flounder about, unbelieving of seeing the dead suddenly among the living once again. You ready yourself with an explanation, a way to explain how a dead man could be standing in front of a dingy Busan high school as if his two-week disappearance had all just been a dream.

You find no questions escaping Jimin’s lips; instead, he drops his school bag with a resounding thud as you are suddenly withstanding the force of a scrawny 18-year old boy catapulting himself onto you with a vice-like hug.

“Woah there, kid!” You laugh, patting his fluffy hair endearingly. “I’m not as strong as I look, you know?” You try prying Jimin off your body to take a look at his face, but you find that Jimin wasn’t budging. As you feel his body start to shudder, you take that as a telltale sign that Jimin is probably crying in relief.

But when Jimin finally removes himself from you, his eyes are dry.

He smiles as bright as the sun, discreetly trying to sniffle away any signs of tears. His eyes crinkle cheerily, as if the sad kid who had walked out of the school building just a minute ago never existed.

This is the Jimin that existed before Hoseok had disappeared.

“I’m… sorry. It’s just… It’s good to see you, hyung.” He whispers it like it’s a secret.

You try to smile just as brightly. You aren’t sure if it works, but Jimin doesn’t comment.

“It’s good to see you too, Jimin. Now, let’s get you home, shall we?”

Any sort of awkwardness or tension slowly melts away as the two of you start walking back to Jimin’s house. You choose to follow him from behind, as you weren’t quite as sure of where the two of you were supposed to go (you’re sure Hoseok probably knew exactly where Jimin’s house is, but you failed to memorize the map before coming to his high school.) Jimin doesn’t seem to mind, however, as he continues to talk animatedly about his day, all while walking backwards with a grin on his face.

“And so, Taemin shoots the spitball at Kyungsoo’s head when he wasn’t looking! Oh man, it was utter chaos! I was sure Seulgi was going to call the princi—“

“Aish, Jimin!” You suddenly call out, pulling him out of the way as he almost rams himself against a not very kindly looking man. The older man only huffs in annoyance before promptly grumbling away. As you send Jimin a teasingly angry look, he at least has the decency to look sheepish.

“Whoops, I guess walking backwards is harder than it looks, huh?” He giggles melodically, and you try your hardest to ignore the guilt rising up from your stomach.

He’s definitely going to be one of the more difficult ones to let go of.

“You don’t need to walk backwards, you idiot. Here,” you say, grabbing Jimin’s hand in your own. You don’t fail to notice the pale blush spreading on Jimin’s face, but you don’t acknowledge it either. It’ll only make things harder if you did.

“See? If we hold hands, at least I can stop your stupid ass from bumping into every person on the street.” You joke, and the weird atmosphere slowly dissipates. Jimin laughs at your jab, but the sound ends quicker than it did before. From the corner of your eye, you see Jimin staring at your linked hands.

The rest of the walk home becomes more muted as Jimin starts talking about his after school dance practices. The look on his face is serious, maybe even ashamed. You ask him what’s wrong.

“Hyung… I haven’t danced in a month.”

Your grip on his hand stops the two of you in your tracks. This information isn’t new to you, because it was highlighted in yellow in his death report. But the deep breath you take isn’t fake; you genuinely ache for him.

“Why? I thought dance was your life. It’s our life.” You state more than ask, and Jimin fidgets under your weighty stare. Your gaze softens, and you rub circles of comfort over his clenched fist. He looks away before he speaks.

“It is my life… but when you disappeared after that night, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep it.”

It? Was it his passion for dance? Or his life?

You don’t ask that question. Instead, you take his chin in your unoccupied hand to tilt his face towards you. His eyes are still downcast—irises flitting about apprehensively. You know that he still has something to ask, but it seems like you were going to have to push him a bit to make him speak. So, you lower your head to make eye contact with him, waving jokingly at his face.

“Hello? Earth to Jimin? Go on, say whatever is on that silly brain of yours. I know you want to tell me something.” You say, rolling your eyes before pointing a comforting smile at him. Jimin’s smile resurfaces like lightning, before disappearing just as quickly.

“It’s just… I heard from some classmates that you overdosed a few weeks ago. And when you suddenly stopped coming by the school during dismissal, my brain went to the worst place and I… I just thought—“Jimin’s voice catches mid-sentence, cracking slightly from emotion. He clasps a hand around his mouth, as if unwilling to finish the thought. A dark look encompasses his face, but his eyes remain dry.

You start to panic. Fuck. This is bad. You can’t make Jimin’s last day a sad one. You got to turn the conversation around.

“Oh Jiminie! Is that what was worrying you all this time? You know me; I was just cooped up in the dance studio these days. I finally found this awesome mixtape for my showcase. You ever heard of Rap Monster?” The lie falls smoothly off your tongue, and you’re suddenly grateful that you had read that part of Hoseok’s file just as deeply as you had analyzed Jimin’s, or else you wouldn’t have known about his dance activities at all.

It is only with some guilt when you allow yourself to bask in the warmth of Jimin’s grin.

“Rap Monster? What kind of name is that?” He laughs heartily, his giggles pitching to almost sound like little squeaks from how happily he shook.

In that moment, Jimin certainly didn’t look like the type to commit suicide in a bathtub. Not a lot of people ever do, but you suppose that’s why they say you can never judge a book by its cover.

The thought leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Not soon after, the two of you arrive outside Jimin’s small apartment. Your hands are still intertwined when Jimin goes to open the door.

“Hey, want to go upstairs and play some video games?” He chirps, tugging you along to the inside of his home. Just as you are about to enter, however, your phone rings. You jump at the sound, surprised to be getting a notification in the middle of your mission.

Almost reluctantly, you separate your hands in order to reach for your phone. Your eyes widen at the warning signs on your display screen, and you are quick to push Jimin inside his home lest he get a glimpse of your text. “Uh, sorry Jimin. I got a call from work. You go on up, ok? I’ll catch up.”

Jimin seems unwilling to let go for some reason, and you are almost afraid that Jimin might refuse, that he knows the truth and that you’re not actually Hoseok—

The weird look on Jimin’s face vanishes soon after, but the tension from his odd stare remains. “Alright… but don’t bail on me alright? My mom left some fried chicken for dinner, and I really don’t want to finish it myself!” He tries to jest, but you don’t miss the subtle message in his tone: don’t leave me.

After you nod your head and promise that you won’t leave, Jimin gives you one last look before closing the door. The moment Jimin’s prying eyes leave your form, you quickly unlock your phone where his death file is still open.

Everything still seems to be in order, except—

“Shit,” you mutter, watching in horror as his “Chance of Death” lowered by the second. It had been a solid 95% this morning, but now you were watching in real-time as the percentage dropped to as low as 68%.

You curse to yourself, pocketing your phone and taking a deep breath. It seems “Hoseok’s” reappearance has reignited Jimin’s will to live, meaning you are inadvertently preventing his death. This is definitely not good.

You can only avoid death so many times before it catches up with you—and you didn’t want it to hold Jimin down by the throat. He didn’t deserve a death worse than the one already predetermined for him. This was supposed to be his last good day.

Think. You have to increase those chances to at least 95% again in order to consider this mission a success. Assortments of ideas filter through your head, but all of them seem so indescribably cruel that it almost pains you to do them.

But you had to. An escaped death would have been much crueler, in the end. If Seokjin had taught you anything about helping humans evade death, it’s that it would only hurt you and them in the process.

Jimin was not going to be another Yoongi. You can’t allow it.

Park Jimin has to die today, and you had to make sure of that.

When you muster the energy to go inside his home, you are startled to find Jimin shirtless, seemingly in the midst of changing. He yelps at your sudden reappearance, a steady red blush rising from his chest to his neck. He licks his lips nervously, and you force your eyes to stay trained on his own.

He quickly puts his shirt on. “You came back.” He breathes out.

You swallow drily, before nodding and feigning disinterest as you try not to look too disappointed that he put his clothes on so quickly. The tension is fucking palpable, and you can feel yourself choking on your own spit. You plop yourself on the couch, giving him an expectant look as you pat the space beside you.

“Video games, right?” you smile, breaking the silence.

Stepping out of his reverie, Jimin shakes his head, coughing lightly as he goes over to his gaming console and pops in a random game to play. He chucks an extra controller at you, and you stare with wide-eyed amazement as you see the numerous stickers decorating it. Glittery hearts and smiley faces are scattered all around it, making its original black color almost unrecognizable under the sheer color of the stickers.

Jimin smirks at your dumbfounded look. “Why do you look so surprised? Don’t you remember when you said you wanted to, what did you say? Stake your claim on the better controller that didn’t have messed up buttons?”

You gulp, looking at Jimin then back at the controller. Holy fuck, they really were whipped for each other.

“Uh… yeah. Obviously, you sabotaged the other controller which is why I always lost in the games!” You still aren’t over how fucking in love Jimin was with this dude. Fuck, how hadn’t you noticed? You itch to look at the status of Jimin’s chance of death.

“Oh, shut up hyung! You lose every single time we play, no matter what! I think you just like saying my stuff is yours,” he laughs, but it sounds forced, embarrassed. A deep flush coats his cheeks yet again and you try to wrack your brain as to why he would seem flustered by a little comment—

Oh right. He was referencing that night again.

“Let’s… just play the game, alright?” You say not unkindly, but your subtle rejection makes itself known on Jimin’s face as his eyes droop even lower, before carefully placing himself beside you, with some space between your two bodies.

As it turns out, even though you’re impersonating Hoseok, you obviously don’t acquire any of his skills, and that includes both dancing and gaming. So when Jimin defeats you for the tenth time in Mortal Kombat, it is almost a surprise that Jimin doesn’t find it odd that you were just button mashing your way through the rounds.

“Hyung! What the fuck! You’re so shit at this game!” Jimin laughs, throwing his body onto yours in his fit of glee. You tense up at the contact, trying to inconspicuously inch away from his body until he finally gets the hint. Jimin freezes in his giggling, before retracting away from you in an instant. He looks away from you, and rubs his neck in embarrassment.

He coughs awkwardly. “Uh, sorry about that.”

You try to shrug it off, but your heart pains for him. He loves Hoseok so damn much. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean it.”

Oh, he fucking meant it all right.

In the wake of the uncomfortable silence, you happen to glance at your watch and almost gasp when you notice the minute hand slowly reach 7:01PM. Your head snaps up to Jimin, who was gazing at you forlornly.

“Oh…Are you leaving so soon, hyung?” His voice drops by the end of the sentence, his stare finally breaking and turning towards the floor instead. “That’s too bad.”

You seriously debate leaving right now. This mission was already starting to look too much like Yoongi’s. Even looking at Jimin’s sad face was starting to make you hyperventilate in fear, your repressed memories slowly rising up.

Dark black eyes staring pleadingly at you, his rosy red lips begging to be kissed again. He whispers, “Don’t leave.”

You shake your head, willing the thoughts to go away. Bad, bad, bad.

But as you sneak a peek at your phone to check Jimin’s percentage, it still hasn’t reached 90%, and you know from experience that the best way to know that they were truly going to die is if the percentage reached 95%, so you couldn’t just hope that he would suddenly want to die within the span of 40 minutes.

No. You had to do something. Something cruel.

Even though Park Jimin was your 99th mission, it never gets any easier.

“No, Jiminie. I’m not leaving just yet. You can’t kick me out that easily!” You slap Jimin on the back playfully, and the gesture makes your phone ping in response. Fuck. That means it lowered again.

You clear your throat. “Hey, Jiminie. Mind if I use the bathroom real quick though?”

Jimin looks at you semi-strangely. “Why are you asking all of sudden, like you have manners? You normally just go and take a shit whenever you want to, gross-hyung.”

To save yourself from your slip-up, you yawn over-dramatically, taking care to make your face look as ugly as possible. To your disappointment, you hear Jimin laugh endearingly, and you can only imagine how low the percentage is right now.

“Oh fuck, I don’t know what’s happening to me, Jimin. I guess I’m starting to get senile from all that dancing.” (A weird joke between Jimin and Hoseok that you still didn’t quite understand, but you’re guessing it was the correct thing to say because Jimin shrugs off your strangeness almost immediately after.)

Rolling his eyes, he grabs your hand and drags you to the toilet himself, all the while whispering how “you are such a drama queen” the entire way. He directs you to the bathroom, and it almost appears as if he wants to follow before you give him a hard gaze and he flushes embarrassedly, running his hand through his hair before tripping his way back to the living room.

You watch his retreating form and wish with all your heart that you could turn him around, tell him once and for all who you were and that you’re not actually—

You banish those thoughts to the deepest recesses of your heart. This is not the time to be soft. You can’t allow it. Not again.

As you close the door with a resounding ‘click,’ you hurriedly check your phone to see Jimin’s file once again.

Current Time: 7:07PM

Chance of Death: 74%

Although it wasn’t as low an hour ago, it is still not even nearly good enough. You are in the middle of figuring out how to go about raising his percentage when you happen to notice the water heater unplugged.

That’s no good. His bath water would be cold.

You open the door, peering out into the living room. “Oy, Jimin! Your heater isn’t plugged in!”

The soft pattering footsteps indicate Jimin’s approach. “Huh? Why are you looking at my water heater, weirdo?” He says, looking inside to see what you were doing. He raises a brow. “Were you gonna shower or something?”

“No, but like…how do you even handle showering? Cold water is shit!”

Jimin shrugs. “Oh. Well, I like to shower in cold water. They say it’s healthier.”

“Healthy, smellthy! Are you a masochist? Hot baths are the best!”

“It’s okay, really. I’m used to cold water and colder beds.” He suddenly spits out, and the dark look that had encompassed his face a while ago makes its return. You stare wide-eyed at him, realization dawning on you. Oh. That night again.

“Jimin…”

Jimin finally snaps. “Don’t Jimin me, hyung. What happened? What changed? Why did you disappear after… after that? We were so close back then. I’m always happiest when I am with you, and I know you are the same. Are? Were? I don’t know anymore! It’s just…” he takes a breath, swallowing heavily. You look at his eyes: dry as the desert, still.

“When you disappeared, I thought…I thought it was because of me. That you were disgusted with yourself, that you had chosen to be with someone like me—“

Your heart breaks even further. Don’t say that about yourself, please. That’s further from the truth. Hoseok loved you so much. Please.

Please, stop.

But Jimin doesn’t stop.

“Then this afternoon, you suddenly reappear into my life and it’s like nothing happened. I was fine with letting myself think this was like how we were before. You’re making me laugh and making me remember what it was like to be happy. I thought we could just go back to being friends. But I can’t.” He pauses, breathing heavily. He stares pitifully at you.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. You held me so tightly, hyung. You kissed away every drop of hate I had for myself in my body and made me actually feel loved—as if I was worthy of it. So when you came back to me today and started making me remember, it made me think that…that night couldn’t have been a mistake. That you remember it, that we could still be something more. That my anxieties can finally be put to rest because you are finally reciprocating and yet! And yet.”

And yet.

“You still push me away. I see it, you know. I may be suicidal, but I’m not dumb, hyung. Just, tell me. What do you want from me?” He gasps out, despair clinging onto every word that Jimin uttered.

He said it. He really admitted it.

In that moment, wave after wave of sadness and pity washes over you. The pain of seeing such hopeful eyes, a gaze that whispered of stuttered promises at the dead of night and unspoken vows never to be uttered. A future waiting to bloom, if only you not been an imposter.

In a different universe, Hoseok would be standing where you stood, and he’d kiss away all of his unshed tears away.

It was all too fucking dreadful—horrendous even—to bear.

You wished so badly that you weren’t standing here, watching as a man in love watched his lover—you—hold his entire life in your hands. You wished you weren’t tasked with this fucking mission, that you had gotten some random old man instead of this boy who had too much love in his bones.

You wished that you didn’t look like the boy who carried Jimin’s heart. But most of all:

You wished Hoseok hadn’t died, so Jimin wouldn’t have had to die as well.

In the back of your mind, a voice whispers, tempting you.

Save him. Save him, please. He isn’t going to be like Yoongi. You will save him, Y/N. He is worth the pain. He is going to make it; he has to. Please, don’t let him die. Please.

You ignore the way the voice sounds like a man’s, like a man in love with the boy in front of you. You squash it, suppress it, burn it.

I’m sorry, Hoseok. No one can save a dead man.

“I don’t want anything from you, Jimin. I never did. I’m sorry.”

74%…78%…

“What? Hyung, I know you’re dealing with things right now, but I swear, I can fix myself. I can—“

“It’s not that. We just can’t.”

78%…80%…

“Why?”

“I can’t give you what you want because…because I don’t want to.”

80%…85%…

“Hyung…?”

“Jimin. I can’t love you. I don’t love you. I never did. I used you as a warm body on a cold day. It wasn’t real. I’m sorry.” You were feeding his anxieties, making it fester and boil and mature. It was eating him alive; you could see it.

85%…90%…

“You don’t mean that. You don’t… You’re not like that.” His voice warbles, and it might have been the trick of the light but you swear that his eyes start to shine. But no tears fall, still. You aren’t sure if you could continue if he did start to cry. You wish he would start to cry, just so you could fucking stop.

“Why do you think I disappeared for so long? I was guilty for using you, so I went far away. Along the way, I met someone, Jiminie. Someone who can actually complete me. I wanted someone whole, you know? I’m sorry. In fact, she’s texting me right now.” You take this moment to check your phone, pretending to text this fake girl in order to see Jimin’s file.

Current Time: 7:24PM

Chance of Death: 93%

You look back up. You stare at the space above his head, in fear of what you’d actually see. You were a coward, and so you quietly choked on your sins.

You seal the deal. “In the end, Jimin, all I wanted to do today was just to apologize. I’m sorry.”

93%...95%

Your phone beeps the moment you finish your sentence. You swallow heavily, a sob almost making its escape from your throat.

And so you turn, not wanting to see the destruction you leave. You are cowardly. You are more than ready to dash out of there and never return when your eyes land on the heater again. You quickly push in the plug, feeling his eyes drilling holes into the back of your skull. You wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans.

You still don’t look back, but you manage to say, “Have a good bath, okay Jiminie?”

How cruel. How despicably cruel.

You rush out, never taking one glance back.

You run as fast as you can, the tears finally flowing as your disguise melts away from your body. Bright orange hair slowly starts to dull to its original color, perfect nose turning back to its meager appearance. You were no longer Hoseok. You were yourself.

And so, you allowed yourself to grieve.

In the end, you never got to give Park Jimin proper closure like you had intended, but the rules of your business are simple but strict. Death before closure; that was the rule. Park Jimin’s last day was not a good day, and it was all your fault.

As you look up at the setting sun, the only comfort that will help you sleep at night was the fact at the very least, his bath water will be warm when he dies.

At 7:39PM, Jimin unplugs the heater.

At 7:44PM, the water fills up to the brink. Jimin submerges his head.

At 7:49PM, the house is still.

#BangtanWriters-Net #sfwbangtan #btswriters #kreativewritersnet #jiminnetwork #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #bts #bts imagines #bts scenario #park jimin #jimin #jimin scenarios #jimin angst #bts angst #bts jimin #bangtan #BTS x you #bts fanfic #jung hoseok #hoseok #hoseok scenarios

[zutaralesbian]

top 5 luke moments, top 5 maxanne scenes, top 5 things you'd fix from got

Oooh thanks!

Top 5 Luke moments:

1. “I’m a jedi, like my father before me.” This is such an obvious choice and probably what 95% of the Luke stans on here would say is their favorite Luke scene, but I don’t care. I have to list it is as my #1 because it’s simply the best. It encompasses one of the main reasons that I love Luke so much as a character…he’s a main male protagonist whose biggest strength is his compassion and refusal to give in to darkness. In most other sci-fi adventures this kind of scenario would end with the male protagonist killing both of the antagonists, but with Luke, he wins by doing the exact opposite. The only time he’s provoked into violence during the entire scene is when Vader threatens Leia, but he picks himself back up at the end and stands by his convictions, not allowing the Emperor to drag him into the same trap that his father fell into. And it’s his complete refusal to fall into the dark side that inspires Anakin/Vader, someone whose been completely consumed by darkness for over twenty years, to drag himself out of that hole in order to save his son. It’s just…amdkndknd. I can go on forever about why I love that scene. If I ever have a son, Luke is the kind of character that I would want him to aspire to be like. 

2. The scene in ESB where he completely abandons his jedi training to go save Han and Leia, despite both Obi-Wan and Yoda telling him not to. This is a significant scene that sets Luke apart from the majority of the other jedi…he ultimately follows his heart over what’s “wise” or “responsible”. He leaves,probably very prepared to die, to save the people he loves. He’s mostly untrained but Han and Leia are in danger, so he has to at least try to save them. Further proof that he’d never fall into that “no attachments” BS. 

3. All of those scenes where he sassed Jabba during ROTJ. “I warn you not to underestimate my power”. It’s like, after he found out that Darth Vader is his father, he stopped giving a fuck and turned into a beast lol. 

4. His duel with Vader in ESB. It’s hard to watch that scene because it’s so clear that Luke is physically outmatched, but what I always found admirable about that scene is that he still never gives up. Vader says “it’s useless to resist”  but Luke continues to resist. He gets the “soft cinnamon roll” label a lot but my son is also a fighter. 

5. All of his interactions with Artoo and Threepio. The first time I watched ANH, I actually originally thought that Leia was going to be my favorite character (as of now, she is my second fave) but one thing that stood out to me about Luke in ANH was how he talked to Artoo and Threepio. While everyone else throughout the movie see’s them as droids, Luke treats them like his new friends. “You can call me Luke.” And you keep getting that vibe with their scenes together throughout the rest of the trilogy too (especially with Artoo). Luke is just a genuinely kind person. 

There’s scenes in TLJ that I really liked too, despite how much I complain about it. (That scene with Leia in particular was admittedly beautiful). But i’m too mad about it right now to even think about including any of them in the list lol.

Top 5 Maxanne scenes:

1. “I believe that in this moment, you cannot fathom leaving me.” It might seem kind of weird that I put this one as my first pick because it’s kind of sad in tone. Max is talking about the impending doom of their relationship. But I just love the acting in it. The way they both look at each other throughout it. It’s something you can’t watch without thinking, “god they’re in love with each other.” And the kiss that follows it is the most tender and beautiful kiss in the entire series imo. 

2. “There’s nothing important that does not include you.” I put this as #2 and not #1 because it reminds me that Eleanor died and makes me sad because of that :/ But I really do love it. It’s my main OTP quote for them for a reason. The entire speech just encompasses how much much Max’s relationships with both Anne and Eleanor truly shaped her arc throughout the show. Watching Eleanor’s mistakes, and eventually having to grieve her death, is what pushes Max to realize that she needs to fix things with Anne. And that hand-holding in the snow at the end

3. Anne opening up to Max about what happened to her when she was young and how Jack saved her, and why she feels like she owes him for that :/ Anne and Max both suffered r*pe and abuse at the hands of men, and I love the narrative that they’re both survivors who confine in each other about it and help each other.   

4. That scene where Max is sitting in the bathtub and Anne is just kneeling on the floor next to her and staring at her like she’s the cure to everything bad in the world. “You saying this ain’t real?” “Of course it is.”

5. Their first kiss. It was so emotionally packed and sexy. And thinking back on it now, I think it was kind of funny that Max just assumed that the reason Anne was in such a bad mood was because she was sexually frustrated (because of her). She was obviously right, but damn, I wish I had that much self confidence lol. 

Honorable mention to “I will stand between you and them and I will protect you.”

Top 5 things i’d fix from GoT:

Damn, only five things? Lol. Here’s my attempt at narrowing it down. In no particular order:

1. I would erase Sansa’s season five arc and give her the Alayne Stone arc from the books instead. (For people who don’t know, in the books, Sansa disguises herself as “Alayne Stone”, Littlefinger’s bastard daughter and is still currently at the Vale). The downside to that is that we would have had to watch her interact with Littlefinger even more than we did on the show, but it still largely beats the Ramsay shit. And my girl would have gotten her well-deserved arc of slowly developing into a true player of the game. 

2. Catelyn’s arc. (Which would have included Lady Stoneheart). People who only watch the show would probably be shocked to know that Catelyn was actually supposed to be more important of a character than Robb was because the show let Robb completely sideline her in the arc that was mainly supposed to be hers. Robb was a side character in HER story, not the other way around. She was a POV character for a reason. Smh. So yeah, i’d definitely fix that. 

3. The mess that was Sansa and Arya’s story line in S7. YIKES. Erase, erase. 

4. Speaking of erasing, bye bye J*nerys. (There’s a large chance that this is going to happen in the books as well, which is ick, but i’m at least hoping that it’ll happen in a way that doesn’t make Jon and Dany completely OOC lol).

5. JAIME’S CHRACTER. Holy shit lol. I would give him the development that book! Jaime got, and none of the BS the writers pulled with him in seasons 4 and beyond. 

BIG honorable mention to Dorne too. Dorne is actually a really interesting plot point in the books, but on the show, it’s pretty pointless and boring. 

#luke skywalker #maxanne #star wars #black sails #got #asoiaf #answered #sydneydrews

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #478

Top Ten 1990s Films I’ve Still Never Got Round to Watching

I came of age in the nineties. I was born in 1981, and by the time 1990 rolled round I was already eight years old; you consume a lot in those eight years, as my lifelong devotion to Transformers (which started in 1984, when I was all of two) will attest. But really it was the nineties that shaped me, I think, more than anything. There’s a weird kind of Ground Zero in 1993 which I feel defines so much about different aspects of my psyche, from The X-Files to Jurassic Park; I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s also when Batman was dealing with a broken back and Superman was dealing with being dead. If we stretch it a little either side of ‘93, you get Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, two hugely seminal films from a director whose rise kinda defined the decade in film. And 1993 is the year I started reading Empire magazine, a publication which really cultivated my love of film, turning it from being “I like watching movies” to being a true hobby, probably the biggest and most abiding one of my life. And it’s through the pages of Empire that I was introduced to dozens of films that piqued my interest in lots of ways; quirky American indies, prestige historical dramas, wacky-looking arthouse fair, and loads more besides. Truth be told, as a regular visitor to Ye Olde Video Shoppe, my head was often turned by the exotica on display. Sometimes it was the cover art, delightfully lurid in the eighties; sometimes it was the title; sometimes it was just me wondering what on Earth this film could be about.

So through scenic trips round the HMV video isle and flicking through Empire and listening to the sage wisdom of Sir Barry of Norman, I was exposed to loads of films that just looked interesting; films I wanted to see. Sometimes I was too young, of course, but these films – unseen – expanded my interest in the artform because I knew that they were there. I knew that I’d be able to see them eventually. I dreamed as a young teen of being older and independent, of taking myself to see earnest and adult films; the latest Tarantino or Scorsese, a Naked or a Wild at Heart. I wanted to be a smart-arse cinephile university student, probably with a goatee and a ponytail, the kind of character that I was too young to realise was already a comedy cliché by the mid-nineties.

I got older, and I saw a lot of movies, but I read about a lot more, and quite frankly even back then there just weren’t enough hours in the day or days in the week. I had friends, schoolwork, Red Alert, Red Dwarf, and loads of writing to do. And, even back then, I have to say I’d have chosen Judge Dredd over Before Sunrise, or Godzilla over Pi.

So these films go on your backburner. I read the articles in Empire, I watched the trailers (remember when Empire would stick a VHS full of movie trailers to the front cover? Good times), I scanned the posters in foyers, the boxes in Blockbuster, and the nascent and ever-growing racks of DVDs as the decade wound on. My time became scanter, the blockbusters bigger and more encompassing (Star Wars fever lasted at least three years), and still those quirky-looking indies, those intelligent-looking dramas, those intense-looking B-pictures all went unseen.

No worries; I’ll see them eventually.

And then a funny thing happens. You turn around and you realise that twenty-odd years have passed. That film starring young up-and-comer who was in Schindler’s List? The one with the unknown, good-looking actor who it turns out has a new paranormal sci-fi series starting on BBC2? That was a long time ago, entire series, entire movie franchises have come and gone. And I’ve still not seen these films.

So here we are then; a list of films I’ve not seen, but have wanted to, in some cases for nigh-on three decades. It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that, and it makes me wonder what recent films I’ll end up skipping on till I’m sixty or seventy. And, also, I’m going to take this list as a challenge; I’m going to try, within the next year, to watch all of these films.

Or at least I’ll try to do it before 2051.

There’s actually an added level of relevance this week. My Nanna turned 90 on Saturday. 90! So I was kinda primed to do something to do with the number 90, and as it happened this was a half-written list that I’d not got round to finishing yet. I was actually going to do a revisit of my 90th Top Ten, but as that was actually “Favourite Movies of the 1990s”, this feels like a fitting tribute, both to my grandmother (90!) and to my 90th list.

Oh, one last thing: this week I’ve just decided to do them in chronological order, rather than a “proper” ranking, because I couldn’t really decide which I wanted to see more. I’ve lived with these things for thirty years!

Malcom X (1992): there was no way I knew who Malcolm X was when this came out, but I remember seeing the posters and being curious. As I grew older, the stereotypical narrative of “militant Malcom versus peaceful Dr. King” emerged, and I was even more curious about this film. And then I began to see more films by Spike Lee, or starring Denzel Washington, and I realised just how huge a deal this must have been in the nineties. So here we are, 29 years later, and I still really want to see it.

My Cousin Vinny (1992): I knew Joe Pesci back in 1992 because of Home Alone, and also – if I’m honest – because of Goodfellas, which I’d have watched on video around the same time (shocking, I know). But all the same, I probably wasn’t that interested in a relatively-straight-looking courtroom drama starring the Karate Kid. However, I do remember people talking about it; I think my older cousins may even have rented it. And as I got a bit older, and wondered why people made jokes about Marisa Tomei winning an Oscar, I became really curious. So, by the time I was in my mid-teens, it became an early-90s film I really wanted to see. And I still haven’t. Ahem.

In the Line of Fire (1993): not everything here is going to be some earnest drama or forgotten indie movie; there’s a very good chance I would have seen Fire back in the day. I mean, my dad loves Eastwood, so it could have been something my parents rented. In ’93, I wouldn’t really have known about the political aspect of the film (I remember watching The Bodyguard and being really confused when one character talked about Reagan being shot, something I was utterly clueless about), but all the same, an Eastwood action-thriller is actually something I probably would have enjoyed. As time’s gone on, that feeling has increased.

Kalifornia (1993): weird to think that nowadays, the biggest draw for me with this film is seeing a pre-X-Files David Duchovny. Back then, I kinda had a thing for Juliette Lewis, and Brad Pitt was the epitome of cool. It probably hit me just as I was getting into Tarantino (not that I’d have seen any of his films in ’93 or ’94), and – in my head – it felt like one of those cool adult films that explored themes of violence in America. I’m not sure it reviewed all that well at the time, but all the same, I’ve always wanted to see it.

Quiz Show (1994): I think that, by 1994, I’d fixed Ralph Fiennes in my head as this young up-and-coming English actor who was going to conquer Hollywood. I’m sure by then I’d seen Schindler’s List; too young to go to the pictures, obviously, but it was an immediate rental. And ’94 was when I was really taking movies seriously for the first time; devouring Empire magazine, religiously tuning into The Film Programme. I’d probably never seen a Robert Redford film, but I knew who he was because he was so famous he permeated popular culture; so I knew it was a big deal whenever he directed. I knew nothing (still know hardly anything!) about the scandal the film depicts. But I was phenomenally intrigued. It’s on Disney+ now, I think. I’ve still not got round to it.

Reality Bites (1994): I don’t really know anything about this. It’s, like, Gen-X youngsters getting all angsty, right? And it’s Winona Ryder. If I “kinda” had a thing for Juliette Lewis, I definitely had a thing for Winona Ryder. But I remember seeing the poster in my local Video Emporium. And learning, years later, that it was an early (debut?) Ben Stiller film makes it all the more interesting. I think watching it now would be like opening a time capsule to the early nineties, and it’d be phenomenally interesting; but I know as the decade drew on, I felt this slight disconnect, like I should have watched these young-centric films that critics said “defined” the decade (see also Before Sunrise and Dazed and Confused). Still haven’t!

Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (1995): if I was just getting “into” Tarantino in ’93, by ’95 I was fully in the tank. And this is when the first wave of “inspired by Tarantino” films crested; see also the phenomenal (but, for me, phenomenally tainted) The Usual Suspects. Denver was one of the first ones I remember being talked about. Truth is, I don’t remember much about it; but it had one of those impossible-to-forget titles which, post-Reservoir Dogs, were very popular in nineties indie crime flicks (see also Killing Zoe, Albino Alligator, and Man Bites Dog). It had a very mid-nineties cast of interesting actors that I liked (Andy Garcia, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Lloyd); I think this was the film where someone told me that a character is shot up the arsehole to slowly bleed to death. That was probably why I wanted to see it, but also the whole post-Pulp American indie vibe played a huge part; these sorts of films just seemed so cool to me.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995): mid-nineties I was very much into Patrick Swayze (Ghost! Point Break!) and Wesley Snipes (Demolition Man! Passenger 57!). Despite having seen Super Mario Bros, I’m afraid I did not at all recognise John Leguizamo, for which I can only apologise; by the time Spawn came round, he was a huge draw for me, if that helps (I imagine it don’t). anyway, I’ve gone off on a tangent. Seeing these three big macho dudes play drag queens was a big deal for me; even back then, I felt that it was good for them to do something that seemed progressive, or ran counter to outdated notions of masculinity. Was it really that progressive? I’m not sure; obviously I’ve not seen the film, but it seemed that way to me as a kid. It probably helped normalise the idea of non-heteronormative performance, in the same way The Birdcage or Philadelphia did. I’m not saying these are ideal interpretations of diverse sexuality, but when all you know is utter straightness, they were a window into a wider world. Also it’s got a hell of a title.

The People Versus Larry Flynt (1996): we’re now getting very deep into reading-Empire-religiously territory, and also David-is-old-enough-to-see-a-15 territory (the first 18 I saw was Face/Off the following year). We’re also – and I want to put this delicately – in an era where the discussion or depiction of pornography in a film was, shall we say, intriguing. Sue me; I was 14. The thought of taking a porn publisher and making him a good guy in a freedom of speech battle meant that, not only might it feature a bit of filth, but I could also root for him against the forces of censorship. I loved Woody Harrelson, too; and the insanely controversial (and banned!) poster is hilarious, if a bit much nowadays. Anyway, I wanted to see what I hoped was an intelligent and funny biopic that might also be a little bit rude; it made me feel grown-up and sophisticated. I wonder if I’d still feel the same if I watched in 2021.

Gods and Monsters (1999): jumping to the end of the decade and whilst I know full well why I’d be so excited to see Brendan Fraser in a more serious role, I’m not sure why I’d have know Ian McKellen; maybe The Keep? Or just reading about Richard III (I’d not seen it at that point)? Certainly I was very excited for his casting both in X-Men and Lord of the Rings, so I must have known who he was. Anyway, this film sounded great; a biopic of the director of Frankenstein, and also what appeared to be a rather tragic romance. I loved stories about old Hollywood, and – paging Wong Foo – stories about LGBTQ+ characters, even then. And I wanted to see what one of my favourite Hollywood action stars was up to, as well as support a British actor who I knew was in consideration for an Oscar. Knowing more about the situation, the movies, and the actors, I’d really love to see it now.

Well, there we are: ten films I can’t believe I’ve still not got round to seeing. I’m a bit rubbish, really. And these of course are just the tip of the iceberg (don’t worry, I did see Titanic). Throw a stick at an episode of The Film Programme in the nineties, and you’ll hit a film I was really interested in but still haven’t seen.

Mind you, I’m not dead yet. There’s still time… and I know Quiz Show is on Disney+…

#top ten #films #movies #1990s #nineties #90s