#it feels to me more like she loves nate more than she ever knew and that it's all just very scary to her

[rosie-writings]

Back to Eden

Request: ✨anon—You and the gang investigate a haunted mansion and the reader is targeted after a joke is made that she looks like the wife in old photos. Medium/Doppleganger trope as well.

Summary: Something about Colby caught your attention, and it’s confirmed when you all learn too much about the afterlife when he brings you to investigate a murder at a haunted estate. How hard can a soul bond love?

Warnings: Murder, Vomiting, Reincarnation, Mediums, Ouija Board use, Light Angst, Soulmates trope, Colby x Reader smut, Unprotected sex, very light Dom/Sub dynamic, and Possessive Romantic Relationship/behavior

Words: 13.5k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ by Sleep Token

It started the day we met.

There was no room in my head to even question whether it was strange or not. Every crevice of my mind filled with him. It was fine. That was it; fine. I didn’t allow myself anything more than a skip of a heartbeat here and a blush there. Nothing more. 

Only once did I allow myself to think of him as I fell asleep, but that was because we literally fell asleep hip to hip. It wasn’t anything more than necessary though. It was during an investigation and there were two beds for the five of us to sleep on unless we slept on the floor. Due to complications, we lost our second room that night, and we were too afraid to sleep separated anyway. I was on the edge of the bed, Colby in the middle, and Sam on his other side while Nate and Seth were in the other one. 

And if I woke up curled around his arm and he woke up facing me sharing a pillow, we didn’t say anything about it. 

I didn’t know what it was. The only logical answer was that we easily clicked. We got along fluently, and the first time we met in person, we talked about everything and cried laughing by the end of the night. I couldn’t shake this feeling, though. And it was a dangerous one.

When I looked him in the eyes the first time, it felt like I knew him.

I chalked it up to him simply being who he was. In every way, he was my type—if I even had one—so technically, anyone who looked like him could have given me these feelings. However, I knew people and had friends who looked similar to him. None of them ever made me feel a fraction of how he did.

Perhaps the morality of cognitive dissonance could have an exception. 

Colby, four days ago while I coincidentally was at a tattoo appointment, messaged me: 

What are you doing next week?

So, naturally, I responded:

Wow I said no more snaps and you still send selfies

He sent a rolling eyes emoji. And then:

See, the problem with no snaps is now you don’t send photos back

So I said:

Maybe that isn’t the problem but the entire point smh

What do you want from me next week?

Your appearance in a video, he replied.

Perhaps

Perhaps?

I have a lot going on

Lmao no you don’t

Excuse me? Yes I do

What are you doing in four days?

You’ve given me so much room to creatively respond to that

Bitch, what plans do you have?

To make sure I can still walk by the end of this week

???

Ten minutes later, he followed up the question marks with:

What does that mean?

What a concerning thing to say and then leave me on read, he sent. 

Finally when my tattoo was finished, I sent him a selfie back.

Impatient much?

Ohhhh, he replied.

Jfc did you purposely get it in one of the most painful places?

Yes now what do you want from me next week?

We’re going to a haunted estate in Texas and we want you to come

Oh? Where in Texas?

Outside of Austin

My heart skipped at the thought. That was where we first met. I was from Texas, and there was a party for content creators I was invited to despite being smaller. I met Sam and Colby and a lot of their friends. I still remembered not minding the humid summer night as much as I typically did.

Oh okay so you want me to come

I mean yeah, we all did

Mhm sure

What are you talking about?

Funny how you’re going to Austin and you want me to come

Funny how you’re making a it a big deal

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hold down my smile. I sat in my car, and even though the back of my knee ached with pain, it was almost numbed by the words staring back at me.

Aw if you wanted me to come with you guys on an investigation to the city we met in of course I’d say yes, how sweet

Nvm. Fuck you

I sent a heart emoji back.

He sent a middle finger emoji.

Buy me a plane ticket.

‘Colby Liked your message’

I went home with jittery hands and a beat in my step. I didn’t even have coffee yet.

It happened simultaneously. After my career took off a couple months after the party in Austin, I moved to Los Angeles to be with my best friends. Sam and Colby, two weeks prior, moved to Las Vegas. I gave them so much shit for it, but everyone knew that the girls I lived with were my main priority. 

I never planned to live with anyone; I liked my own private space. But somehow these freaks changed my mind.

As I packed my bag—my flight was in a little over an hour and I hadn’t packed yet, how on brand for me—Tara lounged in my bed.

”Don’t you have your own shit to do?” I asked.

”Maybe,” she sighed pathetically. “But your bed is so comfy and your room is so clean.”

”Yeah my bed is comfy because I don’t have a bunch of shit on it.” She gasped.

”That was mean.”

”How many pairs of shoes did you sleep with last night?” She gave me the finger. “There’s your answer.”

”I can’t believe you’re leaving us for a bunch of boys.”

”Same,” I sighed. “But you know how fun these trips are to me.”

”Yeah. Sometimes I forget how much of a freak you are.”

”Uh, I’m not a freak. A spiritual nerd? Perhaps. But not a freak.” She laughed and lay back against the pillows. 

“You met them in Austin, right?”

”Yes,” I said cautiously.

”And Colby asked you to come with them back to Austin?”

”Yes,” I exasperated now. “What’s wrong with that?”

”Nothing,” she shrugged. “I was just wondering when you and Colby were going on a date.”

”Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes as I zipped my suitcase before standing it up. “God forbid a woman be close friends with a man without wanting to fuck him.” 

“And you have you lying eyes on.”

”My lying—Bitch, these are just my eyes!”

”And they’re fucking lying.”

”You’re an idiot. I need to go.”

”At least tell me when you guys get together.”

Finally, it was my turn to give someone the finger.

I sent Colby a selfie without a message. He quickly responded:

Now who’s sending me selfies not on snap

I wish I could unsend texts

We’re leaving soon, he said after reacting to my last message.

I didn’t respond.

There was nothing better than taking a flight home especially when my headphones were on and I was alone in my aisle. As I looked out the window and watched as we descended from the puffy winter clouds, I realized that this was one of those moments that I was ever grateful for my job. During the quiet moments, the moments alone, and the ones I get to go home with headphones on and friends waiting for me on the other side, 

Something leapt within me at the thought of meeting my friends in my home city; the one where I saw them for the first time. And maybe I thought about one of the four more than the rest, but I didn’t let my brain trail too far away from me. I needed to keep my senses about me to get through this week. 

Colby said it would be a big one.

Before each investigation, of course they researched the locations. He didn’t tell me anything; I wondered if it was that interesting or if he had a feeling. I had a feeling, but I always did before investigating with them.

I choked the feeling down when my Uber from the airport dropped me off at the hotel we were sharing for tonight. Well, tonight we were sleeping at the estate we were investigating and we would probably sleep through the rest of the afternoon before checkout to get to our next flight. I couldn’t decide if I was excited for it or not. 

Maybe we wouldn’t sleep but wait until sunrise then hurry out to debrief in a safe diner.

Sam and Colby scheduled it so that they would be at the hotel first. 

I couldn’t shake this feeling inside of me especially when the hotel room door opened and I saw Sam’s smiling face. 

“Hello!”

”Sam hi!” My arms were around his neck as the door closed. 

“It’s been so long since we’ve last seen you.” He led me into the room. It was work to swallow with such a dry tongue.

”I know! Didn’t mean for it to be so long.” My words died in my throat when I came around the corner and saw Colby. He sat on the bed with his phone in his hand. When he looked up at me, I could have passed out. Seeing him in person for the first time in months almost made me drop dead; my vision narrowed and I didn’t know exactly what to do with my body.

”Oh so you did decide to come after all—“

”Hey stupid,” I laughed. My heart stopped when he got off the bed. “How could I miss another opportunity of both of you running, crying, screaming, throwing up because of a little ghost hunt—“

”You’re an idiot,” Colby said as he pulled me into a hug.

”Of course that’s why you’d come back,” Sam jeered. “At least laugh at Nate and Seth too.”

”Oh no,” I scoffed as I pulled from Colby. “There will be plenty of teasing to go around.”

After, when Nate and Seth arrived and we had dinner and settled after traveling, it was time for us to make our way to the estate. It was only 20 minutes from our hotel, and the entire time, the boys bickered and told jokes while trying to introduce the viewers to the history of the estate. 

“They say that Miss Johnson was a medium, and that due to the religion that was prominent in this area at the time, she was forced to be silent about her craft or be excommunicated from the city,” Sam began.

”But,” Colby took over. “Because it was one of the two ways she made a living and because she believed in it as firmly as she did, she left the community she was in. On top of being a medium, she worked as a seamstress and was very good at her job. In 1886, she was hired by the lady of the estate to make clothes for everyone who lived in it. During her time at the estate, though, it was reported that she would sneak personal belongings into the dressing rooms to communicate with spirits of the house and also keep herself cleansed from bringing any back to her guest house that was on the property. She said there were three that were most active and always made sure that guests knew that they were present even if they were new to the estate.”

”The most active spirit claimed to be Ada who was the First Lady of the estate a generation before,” Sam started again. “Apparently she died of natural causes on the estate, but before her, her husband, William, passed away from a virus he caught while traveling.”

”The weird thing about the whole story,” Colby went on. “Is that it says that Ada’s death was from natural causes, but she only lived for 48 years. That doesn’t add up unless she had an underlying disease or something that was never recorded.”

”Maybe she was saying fuck ya’ll to all the damn men she had to live with,” Nate scoffed with a sassy flick of the wrist. I rolled my eyes and looked out my window. I sat behind Sam who drove, and Nate sat in between Seth and I.

”We don’t know how she died,” Sam laughed. “Okay, back to the medium. Her story is very interesting because while she worked at the estate, she reported three ghosts even though only two people—Will and Ava—were claimed to have died there since they were the first generation to live in the estate. She claimed to have communicated with a woman ghost and a child ghost, not so much the ghost of a man.”

”Two months after Miss Johnson started gossiping with the other servants of the estate that there was a child ghost living on property, she was brutally murdered in the dressing room,” Colby said. “So the rumor is that maybe there was a child in the estate but they passed and someone wanted to cover up the death?”

”Or maybe someone wanted to cover up that the child existed in the first place,” Seth suggested.

”Which opens a lot of other question,” I quickly replied.

”Right,” Colby agreed. “So there’s a lot of nuance and sketchy things going on behind the scenes.”

”I’m not sure why Miss Johnson would have been murdered in such a violent way, though,” Sam said. “If it wasn’t to cover up whatever ghost politics she was talking about, then what was it? Because a murder that gruesome must be an act of passion, but who did she piss off that badly?”

”I guess we will find out more information when we go on that tour.”

It wasn’t the tour that intrigued me, no. Immediately when we drove on property, the hair on my arms raised. I looked over my shoulder. I watched through my window intently. 

The boys goofed as we grabbed the supplies and made an intro to Sam and Colby’s video, but I tried my best to remain silent and calm.

It was like the ash trees had eyes.

”Hello!” Our tour guide greeted us as we entered the house. “Welcome to the Bateman estates, I’m Angie the current owner.”

The floorboards under my feet felt ten feet away from me. 

I stepped through the threshold behind her as Sam followed me and the rest of the boys followed him. My eyes latched on to every object of the room. The cream wallpaper filled the top two thirds of the walls while dark wood paneled the bottom third. The crystal chandelier in the foyer matched the crystal and gold wall lamps on the sides of the entrances of other room. A wide wooden staircase lengthened up either side of the walls of the foyer and met together at a wide plateau where various hallways branched off. The yellow lighting rained down on us gently, and for the first time since walking up to Sam and Colby that night at the party, a sweet fragrance made itself home in the back of my throat.

Familiarity.

I looked through the left threshold. It led to a sitting area full of furnishings and a bay window that overlooked the fields to the left of the house. I looked to the right, and I looked in between Nate and Colby to see the white and clack checkered flooring. It must have been the kitchen.

“We have had numerous visitors tell us that this was the house that made them believe in the paranormal,” Angie continued. My eyes pulled into focus from the kitchen, and when they landed on the person my gaze dodged, I met eyes with Colby who already looked directly at me.

Another glance shared between us a good four seconds too long. I looked back at Angie.

”Does anyone ever say that these are good or evil spirits? Or do they feel anything weird at all?” Sam asked. I was glad someone in this house had a level head on their shoulders because mine certainly was not.

”Not at all!” Angie exclaimed. “We’ve never had an evil spirit. There’s been freaky movement though, and a few people have reported there being a trickster or sorts here, but nothing pure evil by any means.”

”That’s good that they’re nice then,” Seth said. Angie nodded.

”I’ve made my way around working at plenty of haunted hotels, houses, and such, and there’s a reason that this was the property I invested in. I’ve never felt such good and light spirits before.”

”That actually helps a lot,” Nate laughed. I looked at Colby again.

He was already smiling in my direction.

”William and Ada Bateman first moved to this estate after his job took off. They lived in the city beforehand but he needed to get out because of some issues with this job. Apparently guests who have visited this house say that there’s a woman spirit here who makes her presence very much so known by playing with hair, moving things, or making noises. Sometimes people can see a woman with a white or pink dress in the corner of their eyes.”

”Oh shit, that means she has a lot of power to make herself that known,” Nate said. Angie nodded.

”If it’s Ada, yes. She has the most power in this house.”

We continued the tour. 

“This room,” the guide started slowly. We knew what lay on the other side of the door. She had already led us through the downstairs and multiple rooms upstairs. By tone of voice, we knew what happened in this one. Colby entered first behind her then Sam, Seth, me and Nate. “This room is the dressing room where Miss Johnson was murdered.” I subconsciously bit the inside of my cheek as I looked around. 

There was absolutely nothing ominous about it. 

I didn't anticipate the house being so open, warm, and homey. The orange glow of the lights illuminated the faded yellow and pink floral wallpaper, and the plush intricately designed yellow, cream, and red rug under us swallowed my feet whole even through my shoes. It felt like I could curl up comfortably in this room and lull to sleep by the brush of the trees below. 

“Do you know why she was murdered?” Sam asked. 

“They say it was because she communicated with the ghosts and made a big deal about it through the house. Apparently some of the other servants were religious and didn't like the way she tried to communicate with spirits. That's some motive, but apparently her death was never avenged.”

“Wait, they never found out who killed her?” Colby asked. Angie shook her head. 

“No. They couldn't find evidence among the servants and they didn't have visitors during the time of her death. It was like it was sudden.”

“Is there a child ghost here?” My mouth ran before I could catch it, and I confidently held Angie's eye contact as the boys shot looks at me. 

“Well, that was a part of the story too, we think.” We all stood silent waiting for more. “Apparently two maids especially hated Miss Johnson for bringing children into her gossip about the spirits. She started saying that a child ghost also lived in this estate even though no children had lived here. It raised suspicions among the servants. Some would spread rumors believing that there had to be a child ghost and further investigating whose baby it was and then others would not believe her and make fun of Miss Johnson.

“Two maids specifically, though, were the oldest servants of the house. They were Ada’s personal maids, and they especially did not appreciate the gossiping about children ghosts. They tried to get Miss Johnson to shut up about it and suddenly a couple months later, she was found dead.” I gawked at Annie's story. 

“Wait, you're saying that the two servants who personally knew Ada and were close to her were the ones who didn't like the stories about the child ghost?” Sam gasped. Angie nodded. 

“That's right.”

“What if Ada had a baby and it died when it was young? Why would they want to cover it up? Was it with another man?” Seth asked. 

“There are no records of a baby ever being born here. Except for one photo.” My stomach dropped at the thought. “There's a photo of Ada and a baby in the lord and lady’s room playing with the baby. The thing is, Will is behind them sitting and watching happily. The only record we have of the baby is one where both parents seem happy that they have her.

“Now, there's no evidence for this and I usually don't talk about this because I'm not on one to stir the pot really, but apparently there were political issues behind the scenes of William’s work. There was a lot of tension especially since the Civil War had ended, and William was against slavery the entire time, so when it was abolished, there were a lot of people who held a grudge with him because of where they lived. It kind of made him a target considering his business was also quite successful so he had money and power too.”

”Do you think someone killed the baby then to get back at him?” Sam asked.

”The politics in his work were brutal. It was either that or someone didn’t want him having an heir.”

“Can we see photos?” I asked.

”Yeah,” Angie said as she led us from the room. “We were headed there next.”

The next room was the primary bedroom. Seth followed Angie and Sam and Nate followed him. I was at Colby’s side, and when it was our turn to walk through the door, I went in front of him.

The second I took a step towards the door, my heart raced, clammy sweat rose to my hairline, and a chill swept through me.

”Holy shit—“ My eyes widened in fear and I froze in my place at the scared tone of Colby’s voice.

”What?” Sam gasped when he heard that tone as well and he turned to look at us. “Oh fuck!” 

“What?” I cried. “Everyone’s looking at me and freaking out—”

”There’s a strand of your hair that’s literally raising up by itself like someone is lifting it—Oh.” Right as Colby pointed it out, the hair dropped like whoever it was that held my hair walked away.

”What the fuck was that?” Seth cried.

“Probably Ada.” My eyes widened. Makes her presence very much so known by playing with hair, was what Angie just told us downstairs.

”No way!” Colby laughed as we entered the rest of the way in. “Wait, that's crazy, did you feel it?” I shook my head.

”No, not at all.”

”She’s never violent. In fact, a lot of times, she’s so gentle with the things she does that sometimes we can’t tell if it’s her or not.”

I looked around the room and blinked furiously. 

The chill didn’t leave me. 

The sweat didn’t leave. 

Welcome back.

”Wait,” I gasped. Then all eyes were on me. In a panic, as I returned to myself for a minute, I cowered in and turned to Colby.

”What’s wrong?” Sam asked. I gave Colby a look.

”No-No, keep going it’s fine,” he said. 

When I heard Angie’s voice again, I started telling him.

”Did you hear that?” I asked him so quietly that my mouth made more sound than my voice. His eyes widened.

”No? What—“

”I don’t think I heard it audibly, but you know when a voice just comes in your head and it isn’t your own and it’s so sure of itself that it has to be something else?”

”Actually yeah,” he gasped. “Wait, you have that too?” I nodded furiously.

”Yes! All the damn time, it’s annoying.”

”Sam said he hadn’t had that before.”

”Anyway,” I sighed and swallowed tightly. “When we walked in, I had a cold chill, I was sweating, and then I heard it in my head like that, something that said ‘welcome back’ and—“ Colby’s eyes widened in fear as he stared at me then he looked at Sam who already analyzed us on the other side of the room. “And I could just be making things up or something, but I swear to god—“

”You feel like you’ve been here before?” Hesitantly, I nodded. “Alright. I do to, I didn’t tell them that though.”

”What?” I gasped. “Why didn’t you?”

”Why didn’t you?” My silence answered the question. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”

”What’s happening?” Sam finally broke his silence. 

“We’ll talk about it in a little,” Colby determined with finality, and we tuned in to the rest of the tour.

”These are all the photos we have left that were taken at this estate,” Angie said, and on the left wall of the room, between two large windows that overlooked the field and the lake, were almost two dozen photos on the wall. At first it was hard to see. The sun nearly set, and these were west facing windows, so orange bands of bright light shot through the room.

My only thought was to curl up in the middle of the bed.

It looked incredibly soft with the layers of intricately stitched cream blankets and pillows; I could take the hardest nap nestled in the middle of it. The plush rug under my feet nearly lulled me to sleep like the last room as I made my way over to the photos. The boys followed, and Angie began speaking about the significant ones.

”This is William, that’s Ada, and those are some of the servants, and that was taken in the fields with the dogs—“

I couldn’t remember the rest of what she said. My eyes never left William’s photo. I wasn’t sure I was breathing anymore, not when a familiar feeling washed over me.

Not when the same feeling I had when I looked at Colby in the eyes rained down on me the moment I looked at this photo in the eyes.

”Oh my god,” Seth laughed. “Wait, look at this one. It looks so stupid; looks like you,” he called out my name and it snapped my attention back to him. I glared at him as he laughed.

”Whatever, asshole,” I said. I looked at the photo lower on the wall. It must have been Ada. She was in the garden with what looked to be her maids, but she relaxed with them and smiled and made silly faces. My heart skipped again.

”Wait,” Colby said ever so quietly. My heart skipped again. I looked at him. His eyes never let the photo in front of him. I followed his gaze, it was Ada’s photo. “You do look like her, don’t you?” I really looked at Ada now.

”I—“ I stumbled over my words. I was about to mock him, but the thoughts died in my throat when I realized that I did, in fact, look similar to her. 

“Oh my god, she does!” Sam said.

”Ada is most active in this room,” Angie said from behind us. “People also report hearing voices and a baby’s cry, and also seeing apparitions here or down the hallway coming in this direction.”

”Oh, so people have seen figures too?” Seth asked. 

“They have,” Angie said. “People say that places where frequent birth and death are the most active for spirits, and since this is the room that’s most active, we suspect that Ada passed in this room, probably gave birth in this room. But a lot of the exact details and history of this estate are hidden.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the bed. When Colby’s hand gently held onto my elbow to lead me out of the room with everyone else, goosebumps trailed over my skin in the wake of his touch. What was wrong with me?

”So,” Angie began the end of the tour as we entered the foyer again. “If you are wanting to get as in touch with the spirits of the house as possible, I recommend doing your thing in the kitchen, the dressing room, and the primary bedroom, but, of course, everywhere has a chance of activity.”

”Thank you so much!” Sam told her, and after our final goodbyes, the five of us were left in the house alone.

”Alright,” Sam spoke to the camera. “We’re going to have to leave a music box in the hallway upstairs outside of the primary room.”

”Definitely,” Seth agreed. 

“Maybe, if you guys are up for it, we can do a little bit of a seance in the dressing room or primary room?”

”Jesus Christ, I knew you were going to fucking say that,” Nate groaned.

”Of all places, it’s the safest to do it here. Have you felt the demons? There are none!” 

That, of all things, was true. Not an ounce of dark energy or fear intimidated me through the entire tour, and the rest must have agreed because we planned a seance in the primary room at three am.

”I think I’m going to volunteer Seth to do the Estes method,” Colby said as he fished supplies out of his backpack.

”Why am I always the Estes method bait?” He whined.

“Because the ghosts like you,” Colby sighed as he tossed Seth headphones. “You should be thankful. They don’t like me as much. Let’s get the rem pod and ask spirits some questions first.”

Immediately as the rem pod turned on, it lit up.

”Is it messed up?” Colby asked. Sam recalibrated it. It continued the beeping and flashing of lights even as Sam got up and stood next to us. “Damn, maybe not.”

”If there’s a spirit here with us could you possibly walk away from the lights? It’s our device to communicate—“

The rem pod turned off.

I looked at Sam with bright eyes as he turned to me as well.

”Thank you, and to make sure you’re actually listening and can hear us, can you step close to the red device again?”

Immediately the lights turned on. My heart pounded as my eyes fixated on the empty space around the pod.

”Thank you so much, I’m Sam and these are my friends. We wanted to ask the spirits in this house some questions, light up the device for yes or turn it off for no, would that be alright?”

The lights didn’t end.

”Awesome, hi I’m Seth. Is this Ada?”

The lights turned off.

”No,” he gasped. “Is this William?” They didn’t turn on. “Is this Miss Johnson?”

The rem pod shrilled to life. I gasped and looked at the others.

”Hi Miss Johnson,” he said.

”This is so freaky, how is it so exact?” I whispered to Colby who stood on the other side of me.

”I don’t fucking know,” he laughed.

”We were wondering if you were willing to tell us a bit about the house?” The lights stayed on. “Perfect. You’re really active, is there something you want to tell us eventually tonight?”

The lights still stayed on. It must have been an accident.

”Ask a controlled question just in case,” I mumbled.

”Did you work as a chef in the house?” Colby asked. The lights turned off.

”Well shit,” Sam laughed. “Were you the gardener?” Still no lights.

”Were you the seamstress?” I asked and the rem pod woke to life again. 

“People say that you were a medium as well, is that true?” The rem pod stayed on after Sam’s question. “Is that the reason you’re so active?” The lights didn’t turn off.

”Do Will and Ada live here still?” The rem pod stopped then started again. Colby shot Sam a confused look.

”Do they sometimes live here?” Yes. “Do you mean that they can come and go as they please?” Also yes. “No way,” Sam gasped as he turned back to Colby. “That means there’s a vortex or a hotspot or something in this house.”

”We should find it and ask questions there,” Nate said. 

“Thanks for talking to us, Miss Johnson. You can follow us around the house tonight if you’d like.” 

And Sam turned off the rem pod.

”First one to find the vortex has to do the Estes method in it,” Colby said.

”Bitch, you’re saying that like it’s a reward,” Nate snapped back.

”Someone’s bound to find it—“

”Found it.” We spun on our heels and noticed that Seth was missing. 

“Seth?” Sam called.

”Over here.” We followed the voice around the corner of the kitchen and walked back into the foyer. He stood in between the two staircases and on the walls across from each other, there were two mirrors.

”Wow, it’s almost as if the house chose you to do the Estes method,” I jeered.

”Fuck ya’ll, I was actually trying to look for it unlike you bums who stood around bickering about not doing it.”

”It was literally right in front of us,” Sam sighed before he reached for the spirit box in his backpack. “Alright, someone go get a chair.”

A minute later, Colby came back with a chair and placed it in between the mirrors.

”I hate you guys, for the record.”

”We figured the hate hadn’t left since the Conjuring house.” Seth gave Sam the finger as he pulled the blindfold over his eyes.

”If there’s any spirit in the house, you’re welcome to come talk to Seth through the spirit box,” Colby called loudly. 

“Loud,” Seth immediately said in that monotone voice. We all whirled our gazes to him.

”What’s loud?”

”Colby.” The room froze.

”You said my name,” Colby said. “Do you know me?”

”Know you.”

”Do you know all of us?” Silence. I could almost make out the flipping of channels under the noise canceling headphones. 

“Come.”

”Where do you want us to go?”

”Follow me.”

“Who are we talking—“

A loud noise from upstairs cut Colby off. 

Then the music box started playing. I looked up the stairs immediately, but saw nothing as the chilling music sang down to us. We all gawked at each other in silence.

”Was-Was that in the dressing room?” 

“It was!” Sam gasped quietly at Nate’s faint question.

”Are you in the dressing room?”

”Maybe.”

”What’s your name?”

”Come find out.”

”Uh,” Sam said as he slowly turned to Colby. “I thought there weren’t evil spirits here. Why does this feel weird?” Colby shook his head.

”I mean, a full on murder happened in this house so like, there has to be some kind of residual negative energy,” Colby replied.

”Could just be a trickster, though, like she said,” I intervened.

”That’s true,” Sam said. “Maybe we should go where it’s asking us to go to—“

”Bedroom.” Seth’s single word cut our conversation short.

”Get him out,” Sam said as he looked back at Colby. “We’re going to the primary room.”

I sat at the foot of the bed. My right foot rested on the bed in front of me, and I messed with the shoelaces. My hands were busy; they needed something for my brain to stay grounded.

I watched as the boys set up the Estes method again for Seth and also placed the rem pod in the middle of the room. The bedroom door was open so that we could hear the music box. 

“Alright,” Sam sighed as he sat in the middle of the rug between the rem pod and Seth who sat in the chair. His bright eyes looked up at Seth expectantly. “It’s really not weird here, is it?” He asked. Seth shook his head.

”No, it isn’t, actually,” Colby said.

”I really don’t think it’s evil. If there’s any spirits in the house who would like to—“

The rem pod shrilled to life.

“Alright then, let’s go,” Colby said, and Seth pulled on the blindfold.

“Are you Miss Johnson?” The rem pod didn’t turn off. “Are you Ada?” The rem pod stopped.

”Here,” Seth said. Sam looked at Colby quickly.

”There could be more than one; maybe everyone’s here.” 

“We came.”

”Oh, yeah I did call you guys.”

”You,” Seth’s monotone voice responded to Colby.

”Me? Or who—“

”Colby.” The room fell still as we stared back and forth between each other.

”You-You said my name—Did any of you say my name since being here?” Colby asked as he turned to each of us.

“It’s been hours, I’m not sure,” I said slowly. 

“You,” Seth repeated.

”I know,” Colby said. “What about me?”

“Not quite what… I didn’t get the rest of that.”

”Not quite, what?” Sam asked. ”Miss Johnson, you said you were a medium, was there something about the Bateman’s you found out but shouldn’t have known about?” A few beats of silence passed.

”I’m sorry to say,” Seth cut the silence.

”What did you find out that you were sorry about?” 

“I’m not mad at all about it. Holy shit, that was a full sentence.”

“What are you not mad about?” Colby asked.

“You were sick.” My eyebrows rose in question, and I turned to the three to see what they thought that meant.

”Who was sick? Who do you mean by you?” Sam asked.

”I told you.”

”Colby?” He clarified. “Are you talking about last year?”

”Not quite what… It was the same sentence I missed before.”

“Not quite…” Sam mumbled in thought. “I’m confused.”

”Is there a child ghost here?” I asked.

“Certainly.” 

“No way,” Nate gasped. “Literally answered that immediately.” 

I saw a shadow from the corner of my eye.

And then the music box. 

I leapt, though, before the music box went off, and the boys also jumped as I scared them. 

“What the fuck was that?” Colby asked me. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked to where I saw the shadow run by.

It would have been child height in the hallway running past the door. 

The music box turned off.

”I-I—It’s okay—”

”No, what was it?” Colby pushed on. I looked up at him, and I supposed that my wide eyes and pale face was enough proof for him to believe me.

”There-There was—I saw a shadow run by. How did you not see it? You would have seen it perfectly from where you are.”

”I didn’t see anything.”

”She literally jumped before the music box went off,” Nate confirmed.

”What was—”

”Child.”

”That was the child?” Sam gasped.

”Yes.”

”Who else is here? Miss Johnson, the child, Will and Ada?”

”There’s more.”

”More?” Colby gasped, and Sam looked up at him with wide fearful eyes.

”Who else?”

”Visitors.”

”No, no,” Colby gasped as the pieces fit together. He stood away from where he leaned against the bed next to me and pointed at Sam. “That’s what it told us; there’s a vortex and they can go and come as they please. I bet spirits can travel to this house and leave it.”

”You’re totally right,” Sam said. “Can you tell us who—“

”It doesn't matter.”

”Why doesn’t it matter?”

”Because… Because—I didn’t catch that—welcome back.”

My vision pounded to black and my heart fell out of my ass,

”Welcome—Who are you welcoming back?”

”Colby.” The three of us looked at Colby with wide eyes.

”I’ve not been here before.”

”Before.”

”Before what?”

The room was silent for a while. 

Nate sucked in a breath to say something, but Seth cut him off.

”Death.”

”What?” Sam gasped. “The fuck does that mean?”

“It said-It said you were here before death, is that what it said?” Nate asked. 

At that point, my heart tied in my throat, and I couldn’t dare look in Colby’s direction. I knew he looked at me.

”Um, when was I here—“

”Long time ago.”

“To a ghost, a long time ago could mean a lot different than what it means to us,” Sam said.

”It’s you.”

”Who’s you?” 

Seth said my name.

No, the spirit box said my name; it was so vivid and loud in the headphones, that I caught the unmistakable syllables of the word. I wondered if I passed out because I didn’t remember much of the Estes method after that. 

There was no other explanation for how this ghost knew my name. Perhaps Sam and Colby’s names were familiar with the ghosts, but not mine. 

“Get him out.”

It was over before I could process what happened.

”Why did it say her name though?” Sam asked and Colby looked back at him with no answers.

“And why the fuck did it say ‘it’s you?’ What an ominous thing to say,” Nate said.

”Just before it said that Colby had been here before death. What does that mean?” Sam’s voice raised and I flinched. I turned from them. 

There was an ache.

An ache that cut so deep in my chest, I wondered if the bone cracked. Tears welled in my eyes.

”What-What’s wrong?” I heard Colby’s voice. I took a step away from them.

And when I accidentally let out a sob, I heard Colby push Seth away.

”Cut the cameras.”

I didn’t like that tone in his voice.

He knew.

It sounded like he was about to cry as well.

”What is it?” He asked as I left the room, he was on my heels. I shook my head as I wiped the few tears that fell.

”Colby,” I said with a tense jaw. He stopped.

We stood alone on the plateau that overlooked the foyer. I slowly turned to him. I looked at him.

He looked at me.

We didn’t say anything.

I couldn’t think of the words to say, and I visibly saw the softness of realization in his eyes—or something adjacent to that—and he swallowed tightly.

”I remember this.”

”Colby?” I heard my name next. I looked past Colby as Sam came up slowly. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Those weren’t the questions I had, no.

I wondered, what did Colby remember?

Did he taste the familiarity in the air like I did?

Did he feel the cathartic peacefulness like I did?

Did he see the extra presence like I did?

We gathered our things and went into the dressing room to prepare for our three am seance.

”I’m thinking we could start soon,” Sam said softly. I checked my phone. 2:30am. “I know it’s early, but it’s already been so damn active. I bet Miss Johnson is with—“

The spirit box in his backpack turned on by itself.

”Yeah, she’s here,” Seth sighed, to which Colby burst out laughing. 

The lights were off. 

Five candles were around us as we placed the ouija board in the middle. A ring of salt encompassed us all. Colby sat nearly across from me; Sam in between us with Nate to my left and Seth in between him and Colby.

”The devices you guys have been playing with all night are around the room,” Sam announced. “You can mess with them if you’d like, but we would really appreciate communicating directly with one of you with this board.” He looked at us and we each put our fingers on the planchette. ”Did a spirit follow us in here?”

It took a few seconds, but the planchette moved to yes.

”Is this spirit Miss Johnson still?”

It didn’t move.

”Hi Miss Johnson, thanks for talking to us all night. Sorry if we’re being redundant—“

The planchette began to circle around the yes.

”Okay,” he laughed, and I couldn’t tell if he thought it was funny or he was intimidated. “We want to know more about the exact history of what went down in this room. Were you murdered in this room?” The planchette stayed on yes.

But then it drifted away. It slowly moved without motive.

“Do you know why you were murdered?” The planchette circled back to yes. “Were you murdered because the people in this house did not like that you were a medium?”

”Look—“ Nate said, and we watched as the planchette made its way to the letters.

S

I tried to rationalize if this was happening, because I absolutely wasn’t moving the wood. I looked at Colby. He looked at me from already examining Nate. I couldn’t look away from him. What a time to—

“T,” Sam mumbled.

What a time to fawn over him, how he looked under the dim candlelight, when I was supposed to be spooked from the presence of ghosts. I looked back at the board. My mouth went dry as it went to the third letter.

O

”Sam,” Colby mumbled in caution.

P

”It said stop.”

”Do you want us to close off this session?” Sam asked.

The planchette slowly made its way over to No.

”No?” He asked. “Do you want us to ask other questions…” His voice trailed off as the planchette moved on it’s own towards the letters again.

”I never asked,” Colby grumbled in frustration. “Is there a message you have for us?” The planchette went back to Yes.

We were quiet.

W E L C O—

“Are you spelling welcome?” Sam asked. The planchette went to Yes.

B A—

“Are you telling us ‘welcome back’ again?” The planchette pointed to No. “Who are you saying…”

C

Not this again. My tears burned my eyes this time, and they were glossy when I blinked.

O

What did it mean? What did welcome back mean? This spirit said Colby was here before death and then told me—

L

”Are you telling Colby, ‘welcome back?’”

The plachette landed on Yes, and I almost broke the rules and yanked my fingers from the board.

Then it started to spell out my name.

”No, no, no; don’t do that,” I cried. 

“Stay on,” Sam said sweetly. “It’s okay—We—I think we’re done here. I…”

S

O

”What the hell is it spelling now?” Seth asked.

”Are you giving us another name?” Sam asked. 

U

The planchette was determined to finish this word.

”Are you going to spell the name of the person who murdered you?” He pressed on.

L

T

”I…” Colby mumbled. I looked up and watched the words die in his throat. He, too, looked all too pale, and with the red and blue rem lights on him, they reflected his glassy eyes. I watched his throat; it was work for him to swallow.

Was he actually going to cry?

I

E

”Is someone remembering—“

”I know what it’s spelling,” Colby choked out. That was when Sam shut up and examined his best friend. 

S

“Soul-ties,” Seth whispered. It was like realization settled in for him as well, becasue the way his eyes widened and darted between Colby and I made me wish for the ground to swallow me up whole.

The planchette circled three times on the board for us.

“It—The ghosts just called you two soul-ties.”

Our fingers were off of it.

”Thank you for—“

”Colby,” I mumbled as he shot up. Sam closed out the seance just as Colby left the safety of our circle. I followed him out of the salt line and into the dimly lit hallway. “Colby.” He ignored me as he hesitantly made his way down the stairs. ”Colby,” I repeated firmer. “Colby, don’t leave me,” I choked. He stopped and looked up to where I was at the top of the stairs.

I walked down to him, and I swore, another life flashed before my eyes.

I didn’t know the man who stood in front of me, but I knew his eyes.

I didn’t know the blue dress on my body, but it was my body.

I looked back at Colby as I made it to the first floor. He didn’t take his gaze off of me for a second.

”Oh my god,” Seth gasped as he ran a hand through his hair. “Before death, you were here. The ghost welcomed her back. “She—Miss Johnson literally just called you two soul-ties! It’s—oh my god—is reincarnation real?”

The daunting, jarring, death defying truth hung over us like a black cloud. The five of us looked at each other.

”What the fuck are we going to put in the video? Have you even been recording Sam?” Sam checked his camera even thoguh he looked so far from himself. 

“Yes,” he stuttered. “I-I have no idea what we’re going to say.”

”We can’t just tell them that reincarnation is real because we literally went to the house our best friend's owned in their past lives—“

“Shut up,” Colby burst out. “Just stop. Let us-Let us think for a second. Don’t say shit like that.” I looked at him. Offense must have been prevalent. “We-We need to fucking talk or something, I know-I know the whole reincarnation thing is insane, but this-this is still our fucking lives too.”

”Yeah, no,” Seth sighed. “Totally. I know. Maybe we should pause for the night and chill out. Maybe we can take naps and order food.”

”You think they DoorDash here?” Sam scoffed at Nate. 

“I mean we can try.”

”I’m probably going to have to go pick it—“

I appreciated Sam diverting the attention from me and Colby, and he led the other two towards the kitchen. Colby didn’t take his eyes off of me.

”How believable is this for you?” I whispered. He only swallowed, blinked quickly. I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my sleeve, and then I paused when I noticed tear tracks on Colby’s face as well. “Let’s…” I started cautiously. Colby’s eyes slowly widened, but he didn’t stop me when I raised my hand to his face and wiped the last tears away. “Let’s just finish this investigation. Debrief, and we can sort things out later. We don’t want this video to go to waste.” He nodded but didn’t pull away from me. I couldn’t stop touching him either.

Forty minutes later, Sam and Colby came back with the food they picked up. 

Seth offered to go with Sam, but Colby pressed that he could do it. Seth didn’t fight it; we all knew. I would have done anything to be a fly on the wall of that car. What did they talk about? They had so much time to be alone. 

“I’m sorry for how this night turned out if it freaked you out or anything,” Seth said as he sat next to me on the sofa. I shook my head.

”No, I mean, yeah it’s weird. I’m not upset or anything,” I rushed. It felt nice that one of them started the conversation. Nate came into the room with bottles of water and gave one to each of us as well. He sat in the chair to my right. “I feel like I’m at the point now where I’m gaslighting myself. Like did it actually happen or there has to be some kind of explanation.” Nate nodded in agreement.

”Yeah, that seriously hits us hard everytime we finish an investigation, but then we pull out the footage and it’s like reliving it a second time. The moments that literally have no other explanation are a lot more easy to believe when it’s watched back because it’s like reconfirming in your head that it was real, you did see it, and you know it wasn’t staged or anything,” he said.

”I just feel like this is different,” I muttered.

”It really is,” Seth agreed. “I know it’s a lot more personal for you and Colby, but imagine if the Estes method session and the seance we did really was real; what does that have to say for the rest of the world? If it was real and we were talking to the real ghost of Miss Johnson, and she literally called you and Colby out by name and basically told you that you two lived here in your past lives; what the fuck does that mean for the rest of us?”

”Reincarnation could literally be real!” Nate gasped. “That’s such an insane thing to claim in a video! Wars literally start over religion.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m just fucking relieved that I’m not the one who has to edit this post it.” We laughed at his joke because that was very much so fair. But my smile slowly fell.

Nate was right; he didn’t have to edit this footage. Sam and Colby would have to. 

Colby would edit this footage and he would be the one to ultimately decide what to do or say. That terrified me. I felt bad for him, because clearly both he and Sam were stressed as hell if they took an hour break by themselves. Sure, they picked up food for all of us, but they still went off alone and during a tense time.

What did they talk about?

Over dinner—or a 4am breakfast, I wasn’t quite sure anymore—we discussed what to do next. Maybe we got information about reincarnation and soul ties, but that wasn’t what we were here for.

”I just know we haven’t gotten anything about the murder,” I said in between bites. 

“That’s true,” Seth said. “Are you guys up to trying more?” He looked up at Sam and Colby, but his gaze lingered on Colby more.

”I am,” he said and then looked around. 

“Yeah, we definitely should try again to see if we can find out who killed her,” I said. Colby looked me in the eyes for the first time since the car ride with Sam.

A gentleness was in his eyes, and it replaced the fear and frantic thoughts. I needed to know what was said. Later. We would figure it out later.

”Awesome, would you guys be up for trying it in the dressing room again or should we try something down here?”

”Let’s try down here,” Seth answered Sam. “Clearly Miss Johnson is very active in the dressing room and she didn’t have much else to say other than what she already has. Maybe we can try to get another spirit.”

”But she’s the one who would know who killed her,” Colby said.

”I mean, they might have ghost meetings or something, I don’t fucking know. Also we’re close to the portal so maybe we can talk to another ghost not attached to the house.”

”Seth, if you want to go flirt with demons again, you could just say it,” Nate jeered.

”Shut the fuck up.”

It was settled. 

We placed the music box in the vortex and the rem pod on the other side of the house in between the sitting room and the back door. We left the backdoor open. The winter chill brushed in, and the clean air filtered that scent of familiarity lodged in my palate if only for a moment. 

It happened quickly. 

Since Miss Johnson was a medium, it was easy for her to communicate with us with each method. Within 30 minutes, we talked to multiple ghosts and narrowed down a few names that Angie talked to us about before. We all believed it was one of the maids close to Ada who murdered Miss Johnson for speaking about the baby. 

The maid knew that William and Ada had a baby too early; there wasn’t enough time in between their wedding and when the baby was born, so everyone would have known they would have had her before getting married. On top of that, due to the dangerous position he was in at his job, it made them a target. Because of everything, they kept the baby a secret and safe in the house. Even though she was presumably safe in the house, she was still murdered by someone. 

Miss Johnson told us that Ada believed it was someone in the house, but not too long after the child passed, William did as well. There wasn’t enough time between either death; she couldn’t figure out who did it, so she fired all of the servants in the house aside for her closest and personal maid. She wasn’t a part of the scheming.

When Miss Johnson came to work at the estate, it had been 20 years after William and the baby passed. They did a good job covering up the fact that they had a child and the fact that she was murdered under their own roof. Until Miss Johnson arrived.

”You’re telling me,” Seth started with a deep laugh of disbelief laced in his tone. He leaned forward in his seat. I sat on the sofa next to Nate who had his head leaned back on the rest, eyes closed, and arms folded—we couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not but we didn’t disturb him—and Sam and Colby did the Estes method in the middle of the sitting room. “That she literally outed a secret they had to keep in order to not lose everything they had? And she didn’t know?”

“Someone poisoned Will too; that’s what had to have happened. There were too many suspicious things happening for us to not rule that out,” Colby said.

“Ada was still alive and the maid still worked there,” Seth went on. “Which means that unless it was someone outside of the house, which looks very unlikely, it was the maid.”

”Or Ada herself,” Colby said quietly. His eyes were on me. My throat went dry. 

“Ada…” Seth said. Nate was suddenly awake.

”Ada herself killed Miss Johnson?” Sam asked. He still wiped the tears from his eyes from coming out of the headphones and blindfold.

The rem pod and the music box shilled to life.

I was pushed too far, worn too thin. The bathroom was too far. I was out of my seat and down the wooden stairs of the patio out back before I could blink. By the time I finished getting sick, Colby was behind me. I saw a flash of Sam on the patio before my tear filled eyes looked up at Colby. 

He didn’t blink. There was no real expression on his face aside from his attentive eyes. Then he slowly nodded. Tongue dampened his lips in thought

“Ada stabbed Miss Johnson 36 times because…” His words faded. I wondered how I looked. I could feel how pale I was.

”Inside—Come inside guys,” Sam rushed with a nervous shake in his voice. It was freezing out here. Colby didn’t even flinch.

The words went unsaid but not unnoticed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“

”No, no,” Colby said gently to Sam as he turned back to the house. The grass poked my ankles over my vans and my socks soaked up the early morning dew. My eyes scanned the fields. The water over a hundred yards from us was still as a mirror; the faded starlight bounced off. The sky already reflected a lighter blue. “It’s not you at all. Hold on a second.”

Sam went back into the house. They left the door open. Colby turned to me.

”Reincarnation isn’t real, Colby,” I muttered roughly. An eyebrow shot up.

”Yeah,” he scoffed. “You believe it isn’t real now but only because you think you wouldn’t murder anyone.” 

“It-It wasn’t me—“

”Maybe, but in this lifetime, your daughter wasn’t murdered in front of you.” Chills fell down my body like a cold rain when he spoke those words. I couldn’t look away from him even as the tears broke. “And your husband wasn’t poisoned right after.”

“Fuck,” I gasped breathlessly. “This is real, isn’t it?” Colby swallowed. His eyes scanned the expanse of land around us. It took a while, and the more seconds that passed, the more I knew it confirmed my statement.

”Do you not remember running across this grass and jumping in the lake?” 

Like a train engine, the memory crashed into me and I almost fell off my feet. The hot Texas summer sun burned my skin, but I kept my eyes on… a man. Colby; his eyes looked back at me, and before I could drown in them, we broke the surface of the water. 

I looked at Colby in front of me. Moonlight reflected in his expectant eyes.

The seconds ticked by. I could feel them in the warming wind, in the dimming stars.

”Who’s going to believe us?”

That morning, as we met in a diner with coffees and a basket of fries since we weren’t hungry enough for a full meal yet, I tried my hardest to debrief and be in the conversations with the boys. But how could I? Information was revealed and things happened with no other explanation tonight, and Colby’s silence was telling. Did he believe it? Or did he not want to?

The others must have felt the tension and thank god they didn’t feel awkward and carried the conversation easily. 

I wasn’t ready for confrontation. Thinking about where I stood with Colby by myself in my own head was enough confrontation. Of course Sam didn’t realize. Or maybe he did and that was why when we got back to the hotel—when the sunlight shot across the awakening city and burned our night infested eyes—he finally mentioned the elephant in the room.

”Honestly,” he mumbled as we neared the elevator. Nate and Seth were ahead of us speaking quietly. Colby slowly looked at him, and I avoided his gaze because it was too serious. All knowing. “I’ll stay with Nate and Seth tonight.”

I wanted to scream no please don’t leave me but another terrifying feeling pulled my other arm.

”Okay,” Colby simply said and that was that. 

A well of excitement and fear and curiosity overflowed within me.

The three boys got off first and thank the heavens the other two didn’t mention Sam getting off with them. The elevator doors shut, and before they sealed, I stole one more glance at Sam who looked back at me already. His comforting eyes warmed my entire body and then Colby and I were alone.

I wasn’t breaking the silence until he did.

We left the elevator—only two floors from the other three—and I decided it was the longest elevator ride I had ever taken. My vision pounded with anticipation as we neared our room. He unlocked the door and led me inside.

I recoiled at the ever soft gleam in his eyes. I tried to forget that it looked like it was work for him to turn away from me.

“Let’s-Let’s just relax first.” I nodded. Maybe I couldn’t break the silence. At least I knew that he wanted to have the conversation with me.

I washed my makeup off. Colby brushed his teeth. We both stood at the double sinks. It took everything within me to not glance at his reflection. I saw the tension under his skin. Maybe he fought the feeling as well. Or maybe he felt my tension. He couldn’t be uncomfortable alone with me, no. He would have told Sam not to leave. 

My throat tangled within itself when Colby walked from the bathroom into the bedroom and took his shirt off at the same time. I looked back at my reflection and thank god he continued around the corner to his luggage so that he wouldn’t see my wide eyes glaze over.

Either the universe is out for blood or Colby sent a message with that move.

After I braided my hair, I too left the bathroom and flicked off the lights. The silence was comfortable but it wasn’t peaceful. Intangible questions netted between us, I knew that much, and from the way his eyes narrowed on the things he messed with in his backpack as I took off my clothes, I wondered how much speaking we could get done tonight. Unless we could communicate without words. Maybe I got ahead of myself. 

I didn’t even think about facing him at all. Everyone changed in front of each other—at least just shirts and pants—like it was a regular thing. It was a regular thing for us, but this was substantially above that. The intimacy shook my breath and I hoped he didn’t hear the way my breath hitched as I pulled on an oversized shirt to sleep in. 

He charged camera batteries while replacing them with new batteries and SD cards. He didn’t go over footage with me like he typically did. When was this ever a typical night though? 

I stood on my side of the bed after plugging in my phone, and I must have felt him turn towards me because I too faced him. He was on the other side of the bed. As badly as I wanted to look away from his eyes—as badly as I wanted to gaze down the rest of his body—I kept my focus on the way his eyes didn’t defocus from mine.

“How do you feel?” I could curl up in his voice forever if he always spoke that way to me. I nodded my head before I replied.

”Fine, I’m-I’m fine.” He nodded.

”Tonight was a lot.” I nodded again.

”It was.”

”Are you upset?” I shook my head. I wished I could speak. I wanted to, so badly, but not a constructive word came to me. “I—I had no idea—“

”It’s okay,” I rushed out. “Are you upset?’

”No,” he quickly said. “Not at all.”

My heart leapt.

“Every time you spoke, the ghosts in the house freaked out. You were like-like a beacon for me, or something.” I recounted the events that took place. It was true. When I spoke, noises happened. Ada touched my hair. When I spoke, the devices were loud.

With him, I wondered what would happen in the future. Who else could aid him like I could?

”Come here.” I walked over to his side of the bed. His eyes were on my body, I felt the heaviness, but I didn’t look up to him. I would have fallen. Then I looked up to him and stood there. He looked back at me but didn’t say anything. 

When his hand reached up and touched my face, I needed to make sure he wouldn’t panic and pull away so I leaned into it. He released a heavy breath.

“I…” He stopped himself. 

Then he said my name.

”Say whatever you want,” I told him. I needed him to say it. Say anything at all; I didn’t care how cut-throat it was. I needed everything aired out.

“I didn’t,” he shook his head. “I thought I was crazy for feeling like I already knew you when I met you for the first time.”

The walls crumbled around me. I couldn’t catch my breath. I didn’t like how much time I wasted and left his words alone in the air. 

“Colby—“

”You don’t—I know—you don’t have to feel—”

”No, Colby, that’s—I was trying to ignore it all this time.” Realization washed over him and I couldn’t stop from smiling.

”You-You feel the same way then?” I nodded quickly. 

“Did you think I would have reacted the way I did when that board said we were soultied? You remembered the memory I had of us in the lake, right? Why do you think I’m on the verge of believing it?” An uneven breath escaped from his mouth as if he held onto it for too long. 

With a shake of the head, he grabbed my face, and kissed me. The intensity of it all was unbearable. I couldn’t hold my ground, not when it felt like all our pieces fit together for the first time.

My hands grabbed him. It was so hard to hold onto him when he didn’t wear a shirt. I wanted him in every way, and I knew he wanted me, but how fast was too fast? So I wrapped my arms around his neck. If I grabbed him anywhere else, I knew it would be the end.

It would be a death wish because after he touched me once, only death could separate us.

“Do you even know?” His voice—a quiet breath that sent chills across my heated skin—knocked the wind out of me. How was the room so silent? The pounding of my heart could have filled its walls. “You know how hard it was for me to not kiss you everytime I just—god—I just fucking looked at you?” I swallowed tightly at the confession. His hands on my face held me, and he still pressed kisses to my mouth, across my face. It was hard to stay still. How could we when this realization was bone deep?

Even if I didn’t know whether or not I believed in reincarnation, the desperation in my fascia was evident enough.

”And even if it would have ruined what we had already, it would have been worth it.” 

“How do you know I didn’t want you back?” I gasped when his lips slipped down my throat. He laughed.

”I thought you could have, but I definitely didn’t want to risk it.” I kissed him this time, and he gasped with the amount of force I used against him. His arms fell down my body and held me so tightly he lifted me.

”I didn’t realize I needed you,” I gasped.

“I need you too. You think I’ll be able to continue doing what we do without you? You—We literally share the share the same soul. You’re the part of me that I’m not.”

“So you’re the part of me I’m not?” My voice broke when he let go of me.

”Come on.” I could have collapsed into that dark tone. He spun around so that his back was to the bed and he pulled me onto his lap. His eyes were wide and beckoning; I rested my arms around his neck, and I couldn’t even lean in to kiss him. I sat there as his hands raced up my back without even pulling me. 

He must have seen it too; something in me that was similar to what I saw in him.

He kissed me first, but I pushed him down. I needed him so close to me that I probably wouldn't be satisfied until the laws of physics were broken. The first time I rolled my hips into his, he left out a satisfied hum, and his hands moved to my hips and guided them back and forth gently. 

I knew we still had clothes on, so how did it feel this good? I tried to kiss him but I couldn’t. My hand was still on his face, thumb linked under his chin now, and I couldn’t help myself. My other hand slipped down his skin and touched every inch of it that was exposed. My legs were so weak I should have fallen to my front already, but he held me up. As much as I moved, and as much as I touched him, he had control. He held me, moved me, kissed me, tasted me, and let me have my fun.

Or maybe he was as stretched thin as I. Maybe he needed this like I did, and maybe no one had the control or the fun. I didn’t do anything except follow his lead just as he followed mine. When I kissed him, he kissed back. When I pulled his pants off, my shirt hit the floor with them. 

My body vibrated above him. It wasn’t a secret. Now that I was fully uncovered aside from my underwear, he could see it, not just feel it. I didn’t think twice about not wearing a bra to sleep even if I shared a room with the boys because never in their lives have they given me a reason to distrust them or doubt them. But now, a heated blush fell down my face and neck as I sat above him exposed. 

“Here—“ His breathless voice made my heart jump again. His hand lowered in between my legs, and my eyes closed quickly or else he would have seen them roll back. “Does it feel good, baby?” 

“Colby,” I moaned. He closed his eyes, and again, his body tensed under his skin. I didn’t realize how much of an effect I had on him. “You-You really want to do this? Now?” Then his eyes snapped open with caution.

”Do you not want to?” I shook my head quickly.

”No, I do. I really want to. I just didn’t know if it was too fast.”

”It’s not too fast for me. I’ve wanted you for so long. If it’s too fast for you then we don’t—“

”No, it’s not.” He smiled; eyebrows twinged with confusion.

”Then why did you say that?” 

“I’m not sure.” His eyes fell down my body. Fingers played with my braid that now loosely hung over my shoulder.

”Did someone say something?”

”No,” I gasped. Because it slowly crept up on me. “I think-I think I’m so scared.” His eyes snapped back up to mine.

”Of what?”

”How much I feel for you. I need you, Colby, and if either of us fucks this up I—I don’t know what I’d do.” He shook his head.

”I can’t—There’s no doubt in my mind that we won’t work out.” 

“How can you be so sure?” He hesitated. Wetted his lips.

”Did you not see how much I believed it as well? I didn’t even question it.” My eyes widened. He was the only thing in the room. Everything around us faded to black; only him. “Did you-Did you not feel the same way I did in that house?” I shook my head quickly.

”No-No, I did. I felt—I didn’t think you did.”

”Fuck,” he gasped, I forgot I still grinded down on him. “I-I felt it immediately when we walked in.”

”Me too.”

I broke eye contact first. And it was an accident. I couldn’t simply be on top of him like this, both of us half naked, and not take in his appearance. His hands replaced themselves on my hips as my hands dragged across his skin. 

“Fuck—“ I heard him gasp and I looked back at him. His eyes closed and lips parted with pleasure. So of course I thrusted my hips again and again. I would do anything to see that face as long as possible. 

“Need to feel you,” I whined as my fingers pushed past the band of his underwear.

”You already can.” I glared at him. A stupid smile pulled at his dark lips.

”I want you in me.” He couldn’t joke anymore. That smile fell and he didn’t break eye contact as we pulled his underwear off. I said I needed to see that face as much as possible.

He gasped and moaned my name sweetly as his head tipped back. I stroked him slowly and watched every expression across his face. I couldn’t look away; at that point, it became an addiction.

”Come on,” he moaned. He lifted himself up again. “Take—Let me take this off.” His hands were rougher. This time my body tensed when he touched me. His hands yanked down my underwear and he quickly tugged me back on his lap.

He stayed sitting still and his hands held my hips in place.

”Want you to ride me baby, can you do that?”

“Yes—“ I didn’t mean to whine, to sound so out of it already, but I couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn’t believe it had gotten to this point; that this was our reality now. He was my reality now, and nothing could tear him from it.

My arms rested around his neck as he looked up at me. I was glad I could hold myself up; his hands found my hips and moved my body because I was so far gone from myself. The second I felt him against me, I pulled my hips back so that I could grind on him and not let him slip inside yet. 

“Oh my god,” he gasped as his eyes closed in surprise. My moans mixed with his as he guided me against him. Everytime he tried to take me further, I pulled away. I knew it was mean, maybe a little fun to tease him, but it felt too good to not drag it out for a little while. “Come on,” he whispered.

”Impatient?” I asked. He glared up at me.

”Could you imagine if this was all real for a second?” I tried. But then he went on: “If it is true and we’re soul tied and reincarnation is real, that means I haven’t fucked you for like 160 years or something—“

”Oh my god!” I burst out laughing. “Not you trying to use the soul tie to get inside me—Colby!” 

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me when he pulled me down on him. My hands held onto him, neck and arm, as he filled me to the brim. His eyes carefully watched my face even as I writhed with pleasure. 

“Oh my god, holy fuck—“ The words poured out of me laced with my moans, and he moaned loudly as he grabbed my hips and moved me up and down with him. I held his face with my hands so that he couldn’t look away, and I had no capacity to kiss him, so my thumb pulled at his bottom lip. He looked up at me like he was glued to me; completely hexed in my gaze. 

Finally coming to my senses again, I rolled my hips against him, and his eyes rolled back.

”Baby,” he sighed. “You feel so damn good,” his moan broke into uneven laughs.

”You feel better,” I whispered. “Look so good.” 

“Fuck, I need you.”

”I know,” I whined. “I need you harder.”

The words were hardly off my tongue when he flipped me over. I squealed when my back hit the bedding. He stood to the floor and pressed my knees back. Fire spread through my body when he thrusted against me. I tried to look down and watch when he drenched his tip through my fluids and teased me to hell and back.

”No, please inside—“

”Are you so impatient? It feels so good, doesn’t it?” Humiliation welled in my stomach at the disgustingly sweet tone in his voice. His fingers gouged into the flesh of my legs, and I held onto the blankets below me.

”Please, need you—”

”You sound so sweet for me, baby,” he teased with a light tone. “Did you not just do this to me?”

”Now am I supposed to tell you that I’ve waited for a hundred years for you to be inside—“ The wind was knocked out of me again when he thrusted inside of me, as deep as he could. “Colby,” I whispered his name. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t moan or say anything at all.

”Oh my—“ his eyes rolled back and he gasped another moan. Maybe his fingers left bruises in between my thighs, and maybe they even bled into crescent moons, but I didn’t care. The pain grounded me and reminded me that he was real. He was here for me, with me, in me; something inside of me screamed finally.

”Mine,” I gasped. I didn't know where it came from. A kind of primal possession washed over me when I looked at him. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

”What?” He gasped. “Mine? You think I’m yours, baby?”

”Yes—“ I coughed. “I’m yours.” He breathlessly moaned and leaned over me.

”Yeah, you’re mine too,” he groaned and kissed me bitterly. His teeth, his tongue, his lips burned as I bit back. And his hand found my throat. It was so difficult for both of us at this angle, and with a frustrated groan, he pulled back, grabbed me by the thighs again and lifted me to lay back on the pillows normally. 

I gasped as I hit the bed, my hands still holding onto him. One of my legs hooked over his arm as his other hand held my throat again. It didn’t hurt, I could still breathe and see; it was to anchor my gaze on his. 

“Mine,” he whispered. “You’re so mine, mine forever.” 

He didn’t stop. It built and built under my skin until I had to close my eyes. My fingers made marks in his skin everywhere I touched him. I needed to curl up under his skin, I needed to be closer even if it was impossible. 

“Yeah, are you baby?” I didn’t even realize I moaned still. It wound up inside of me, and he undid me faster than I could hold onto. “Want to come with me?”

”Please—“ I gasped and my eyes opened. He kissed me, his lips breaking skin below my chin, down my neck. “Close,” I said. It must have been a repeat.

”Oh my god, I’m going to,” he warned, and my hands found his neck, his hair again. I looked down between us, and his hand grabbed onto my waist. I was suffocated with the view of our bodies together, and I couldn’t even blink as he lost himself inside of me.

”Colby—“ I gasped, and so powerfully, my climax also came over me. He gasped and hesitated at the pressure, and he held me down to keep himself up. “No,” I somehow whined through my pleasure. I grabbed him and brought him down on me. I needed him close. 

And he slowed. 

My nails tore across the skin of his back, not enough to leave marks anymore, but enough for us to feel. Then, when he caught his breath, he left gentle kisses across my skin. I gasped as he slowly pulled out of me.

He grabbed a towel from the bathroom before he sat in between my legs.

”Colby—“ I went to stop him, but as he cleaned me, he kissed down my thigh. I hummed with satisfaction as he touched me, loved me.

”I’m still unsure if this is real or not,” he said when he raised to his knees again.

”Yeah,” I sighed a heavy breath. “Me too. If,” I let my mind wander. “If we’re soul tied, what does that mean for us? How easy for us will it be to communicate with spirits, then?” His eyes clicked up to me.

“That’s-That’s really interesting, actually. We need to test it out. As far as I saw today, though, when you were there, you like ushered in the most activity.”

“It could just be because I shared the same spirit with one of the ghosts there.” His eyes brows relaxed in thought. Then, they drifted back up to me.

”If it is real and we aren’t insane, then that means you brutally murdered a woman for me and our baby.” My eyes relaxed and glazed over. I watched him and my heart skipped a hot beat in my chest. 

Him, our baby.

”And I’d do it again.”

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

@graceciesiels22

@honestlybabymiracle

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #18+ only #minors dni #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #rosie writings #rosie hub #soulmates #soul ties #doppleganger #ouija board #reincarnation

[lovingmattysposts]

You don't know me 9

P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: mentions of a VERYYYYY toxic relationship!! There is a scene where Max grabs y/n’s wrist in a not so friendly way, but nothing progresses past that, if that bothers you pls skip that part!!!

Chris pov

"Mate are you alright?" Nate asked from beside me. I didn't look over at him, I just kept my hands gripped on the steering wheel and my eyes on the road. "Fine why" I said blankly. "You've barley said two words since we got in the car. I think I should get the title of being the angry one. We just lost regionals" Nate said looking at me. 

I bit my lip, not responding. "Does it have something to do with you sitting with twinkle toes?" He asked after a few seconds. I looked over at him, glaring hard. His eyes widened. "Okay, not in the joking mood" He sighed leaning back. 

"I thought I told you to stop calling her names like that" I said blankly. "What's got your panties in a twist mate?" He asked. I let out a deep breath. "She said she'd wished I'd leaned forward and I didn't" I stated. Nate went silent for a few seconds. 

"What?" He asked causiosly. I sighed and looked over at him. "She said she'd wished I'd leaned forward and I didn't!" I said again. Nate just looked at me. "She says shit like that then she's walking off to find him" I said leaning back in my seat.

"So this is about the boyfriend?" Nate asked raising his eyebrows. "Yes” I snapped looking at him. “No" I sighed. "I don't know" I said shaking my head. Nate hummed. "So you actually like this girl don't you?" Nate asked smiling. I let out a breath. Sufficatingly yes. "No" I said with a straight face. 

"I'm done talking about it" I said before he could respond. Nate sighed and leaned agaisnt the window. "Alright buddy" He sighed shaking his head, while my mind raced with a million thoughts. 

Was that it? We will ever speak again after that? Does she want to stop seeing each other? Because I sure as hell don't, even though that's what I made it seem like. I sighed and leaned my head agaisnt the headrest.

y/n pov

I dropped my bag down by my feet as we walked into my room. I felt Max's hands come around me and kiss the side of my face as he kicked the door to my room closed. I turned my head, my stomach hurting from the guilt of Chris's words ringing in my head. The thoughts pouring through his head, was eating me alive. 

I had feelings for him. I knew I did. That's why I needed to do this. I needed to create distance to resist temptation. I wasn't a cheater. I was not a cheater. I loved Max. But I didn't know about Max's past. I didn't know what he thought about. He didn't speak to me like Chris spoke to me. It wasn't fair. How was I suppose to end up with someone who I can't even have a simple conversation with about real life things? I felt more like myself with Chris than anyone else. I didn't want to lose him, but I had to.

Chris was better than me in every way, shape, and form. He deserved someone who wasn't like me. Someone who didn't have their whole life planned ahead of them. Someone who had a chance with a life with him. I didn't. I didn't have that and it wasn't fair to him or Max to look at him and pretend that I did have that. Because I didn't I never would. And I'm just now starting to realize that. 

At every family dinner, every vacation, every event for the rest of my life--It would be with Max. While he took over my family business, holding my hand under the table as he spoke to important people with important thought, but never had a clue what was going on with me. He would never know, because he never asked. I'd be on a display case to him, just as my mother is to my father. 

And that was my life. That's what it's always meant to be and I couldn't change that. 

Max dipped his head further into my neck, biting marks. I pulled away from him. He furrowed his eyebrows as me as I walked over to my bed. "You need to shower" I stated looking away from him. He sighed and put his hands on his hip. "Babe come on, I just spent the entire day driving." He groaned. I looked over at him. Was I his mother? Convincing him to shower like he was an incompetent child? 

"So that means you're gonna sleep in my bed all gross and sweaty?" I asked looking him. He glared at me. "Why are you talking to me like that?" He snapped looking at me. I stared at him, suddenly feeling my confidence dwindle beneath me.

"No seriously. What the fuck is up with you lately? I feel like you've just turned into a completely different person" He said walking up to me. I stared at the ground, looking away from his hard gaze. 

"I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to--I just--" I almost whispered looking down at his feet. I glanced up at him. "I'm sorry about your game. I'm just tired, I didn't mean to take it out on you Max" I breathed looking at him. He let out a breath before stepping back shaking his head. I stepped forward. "Max, I really am sorry" I whispered. He clenched his jaw. 

"You know-" He stated looking at me. "If I wanted my girlfriend to talk back to me, I would have dated Sydney" He glared at me. I just looked at him, horrible silence filling the air between us. "Yeah you just like me because I just sit here and take it right?" I mumbled under my breath. His head snapped to me.

"What did you say?" He asked stepping towards me. I looked up at him, his jaw hard as he stared at me. "Nothing Max. I said nothing" I said looking at him and attempting to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist hard. I winced holding my arm up that his hand had a hard grip on. "Max" I breathed, fear filling my eyes as I looked up at him. "I asked you what you said" His eyes dark as he stared down at me. My heart was beating out of my chest. I fell slightly, attempting to pull myself out from his grip. I swallowed tears burning at the corner of my eyes. 

"Max, you're hurting me" My voice broke as I looked up at him. He let out a hard breath before pushing me away from him, releasing his grip from me. I put my hand over my wrist as I looked up at a boy I barely recongized. He shook his head at me before walking over to my bathroom door. "I'm showering" He mumbled before turning around and looking at me. 

"Fix that attitude before I get out" He said pointing at me. I swallowed as I looked at him and he turned pushing the door open and slamming it behind him, making me flinch. I looked down at my wrist, that was red. I rubbed my hand over it, as tears pooled at my eyes. I closed my eyes attempting to take in a breath.

"I like being your friend Y/n" 

Chris's voice rang in my head.

I looked around and the only sounds were the sounds of leaves crushing beneath our feet as we walked.I heard a sound behind us and I grabbed Chris's arm with my other hand and pulled him close to me as we walked.

Memories flooding my brain.

I reached up wiping my eyes as I heard the shower turn on. I glanced towards the bathroom. It was nice imagining what life would be like with Chris. Really. It's what kept me awake at night. But it wasn't my life to have no matter how much I wanted it. I was too scared to break up with Max and my parent's would never forgive me. It was a lose-lose. But the more I thought about it. Would it be such a lose-lose if I had Chris? That I wasn't sure. 

I looked away from the bathroom before changing into pajamas and wiping off my makeup, before crawling under my covers, not even bothering brushing my teeth. The faint taste of the green skittles still present across my teeth. I took in a breath as I laid against my pillows. Imagining it wasn't Max who was showering in my bathroom, but Chris instead. 

Because like I said the only time I never felt guilty about Chris is when I thought of him in my own mind. My own thoughts. No one could read them. No one could guess them. They were only mine. One of the few things in the world that were exclusively mine. 

I was almost asleep when I heard the shower turn off and Max step out into my room. I didn't move, I didn't open my eyes, I didn't do anything to indicate that I was awake. I heard him shifting through my drawers, many of his clothes in there for when he did spend the night. I just listened as I stared through my window as he changed. Wanting to jump out of the window, down my tree and run for dear life towards Chris's house. 

But I couldn’t. That was it for us and I would do exactly what he expected of me.

“Don’t act like I’m not the one you don’t run to when shit gets bad for you”

I swallowed and closed my eyes.

I felt the cover being pulled up before Max slid in next to me, sighing. He wrapped his arms around me before kissing the side of my face. I didn't react.

"Are you sleeping baby?" He whispered quietly against my ear. I hummed. He ran his hand down my arm before sighing. "I'm sorry I got angry with you" He whispered. I didn’t say anything. He kissed my shoulder and laid his head against it. 

"Have you thought any more about formal king and queen? My mom's been asking" He whispered. I just blinked in front of me, seeing the branches of my tree blowing in the wind.

"No" I whispered. He sighed wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. "Okay, well can you think on it?" He asked. I nodded, still staring out the window. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you" He whispered. I swallowed, the burning coming back to my eyes. "I love you" I whispered back. He sighed pulling me even closer to him and holding me tightly. 

-

I sat in the cafeteria at school. Sydney in front of me as she talked loudly to those around us. I stared forward, my eyes droopy, my face bare with no makeup, my hair frizzy. If I'm being honest I looked like shit. Cayden told me more than once today.

I couldn't find the energy to care. To care about how I looked or care about anything else. Because I didn't have Chris and it was my fault. I told him I needed distance because I wanted to be a good girlfriend. I thought that was being a good girlfriend, but now I felt more alone that I ever had to begin with even before Chris.

It's weird going your whole life not really realizing you had no one to talk to about your thoughts until you have it and you push it away. I guess it was my fault. I keep telling myself that I wasn't good for Chris away. He deserved someone better than me, but selfishly, I wanted to take him all for myself. 

We hadn't spoken in almost a week and I felt like I had so many things to say and no one to talk to. Even with people surrounding me. It also didn't help that I had a perfect view of Nate and Chris. There had been moments of us running into each other in the hallway and then quickly turning away without speaking, looking at each other in the parking lot, even seeing him at one of Max's hockey practices. I couldn't even look at him and I hated myself for it. I missed my friend.

Forcing my eyes away from them, but that only helped for a few seconds before my eyes trailed to him again. He stared down at the table tapping his fingers as Nate spoke. His eyes moved up to meet mine. We just looked at each other for a second. Just a blank stare. 

"Y/n" 

Sydney's voice caught my attention. I looked over at her, raising my eyebrows. "Are you okay?" She said scanning my face. I nodded looking down at the plate in front of me, moving the food around me, not eating it. "Yeah" I whispered glancing up at her. She narrowed her eyes at me and then looked over at Max beside me. Max sighed before looking down at me and kissing the side of my face. I didn't react, my face straight as I stared at the table. 

"Cheer up babe, do you feel sick?" He asked wrapping his arm around me. I looked up at him. "Yeah, a little" I whispered looking at him. "Go home, get some rest. I'll come over later to bring you some food. Sound good?" He smiled down at me. I nodded slowly before reaching down and grabbing my bag. 

I maybe just needed some time alone to process everything. Breakups suck yeah, but friendship breakups almost hurt worse, especially one with Chris. Because now I feel like I had no one.

I pushed through the doors of the school, my backpack half-way hanging off my body as I hugged myself with my arms. I stared down at my feet. I didn't know how much longer I could do this before I broke. I missed him.

The thing about Chris is that he had Nate, he didn't need me. He had a perfectly good friend to listen to everything he thought about with no judgement whatsoever. I didn't. It wasn't fair. It was more of a loss for me to lose him and I still pushed him away. I sighed as I continued down the sidewalk, towards my house. 

"Hey" 

I jumped out of my skin from the noise of someone speaking. I hadn't even heard anyone walk up to me. I turned seeing Chris's blue eyes staring back at me wide. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" He said holding out his hands. I just blinked at him, slightly frozen as he stared down at me. I wish he would stop doing that.

He didn't seem angry anymore. The expression he wore was a little more worried than angry, which I didn't expect. With his reputation I expected him to be angry at me forever. He blinked down at me and I still didn't speak. 

"You haven't been at my house in a few days" He stated looking down at me. I just looked at him my eyes trailing down his features all the way down to the lip ring that I missed so much.

I wanted to say everything, but instead I stood there and said nothing. I think i've said enough words the past week to count on two hands. Without Chris, I really didn't have anything to say. I was back to sitting there and nodding, agreeing, listening. And I fucking hated it. 

"I guess I didn't think you were serious about the distance thing" He said taking in a breath due to my lack of response. I looked down at my shoes. I didn't either. These past few days have been hell. "But anyways-" he said making me look back up at him. 

"Are you--" He paused looking at me. "Doing okay?" He almost whispered, as If he didn't know what to say next. I shrugged looking at him. "Yeah" I breathed. His eyes scanned my face, down to my outfit. "Are you..sure?" He asked obviously referring to my appearance. I swallowed turning my head to the side. Like I hadn't gotten enough shit from my boyfriend and my friends from how i've been looking lately. 

I scoffed feeling tears come to my eyes.

"I get it Chris okay? I looked like shit" I said glaring up at him. He just watched me. "Someone write it on the damn skyline Y/n Labraut didn't curl her hair today or wear any makeup" I spat shaking my head, stepping back. "And oh god! Are those sweatpants?" I gasped as I looked down at the sweatpants I was wearing. He just let his fallen face stare back at me. 

"I get enough shit from Max for not being perfect. I don't need you to remind me too Chris" I said shaking my head. He stepped forward. "You know that's not what I meant Y/n" He explained softly. I pursed my lips and shook my head. "Poor little y/n right?" I whispered narrowing my eyes at him. 

"Her life's turned to shit and you expected me to run back to you huh?" I asked shaking my head. "Well maybe you were right" I mumbled. "I don't wanna be who everyone expect me to be" I said turning on my feet and walking away from him. But I heard his feet quickly behind me, then running back up next to me. 

I ignored him and kept walking as he matched my pace and walked beside me, his gaze forwards as we walked. I finally glanced up at him and stopped. "What are you doing?" I asked shaking my head. "I'll walk you home" He said looking down at me. I shook my head. "I don't need you to walk me home" I stated harshly. He smiled down at me. My face hardened. Why was he smiling at me? He let out a breath looking down at me. 

"I don't want to talk to you Chris" I breathed hardening my face at him. I did want to talk to him. All I've wanted the past week was to speak with him.  I was angry, letting all of the words fall out of my mouth that I didn't mean. I don't remember the last time I got to be angry with someone. Not after what happened the last time when I talked back to Max. Chris took it, so I gave it to him. Even though he was the last person who deserved it. 

"You don't have to talk" He said motioning to walk. I just blinked at him. "I just feel like right now you just need a friend" He whispered peering down at me with those impossible blue eyes.

I looked at him, my face pale from the lack of sleep, my eyes red and puffy from the hidden emotions, my body tense from the angry residing within me. All I needed was a friend.

I hung my head my lips shaking and closing my eyes. I hated that I was being mean to him. He didn't deserve it. If anyone in the entire world deserved it, he would be the last on the list.

He stepped forwards slightly, placing his hand on the back of my head and pulling me against him as the tears poured out of my eyes. I cried against him as his arms wrapped around me. 

"I'm sorry I said those things to you y/n" He whispered as I cried. I shook my head against me. I just sat here and screamed at him and he was apologizing.  Why did he know what to say all the fucking time? It wasn't fair. It's like he had a guide on how to do this imprinted in his brain and I was the one walking around with my eyes closed.

"I always want you to run back to me" He whispered so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. 

I pulled back wiping the tears from under my eyes. He smiled down at me. "Sorry I look-" I said shaking my head wiping my eyes. "You always look pretty" He said cutting me off. I smiled and shook my head, letting out a breath. He placed his hand on my face motioning me in front of me. 

"Come on, let's get you home" He said as we started to walk down the sidewalk. I sighed as I shut my mouth and we walked down the sidewalk towards my house.

The cold hair hitting my tore up face from crying, felt good refreshing. Chris didn't speak while we walked, like he promised. I stayed silent as we walked as well. I had nothing left to say. I wanted to apologize but I had nothing left in my throat to say. 

So instead I just leaned into him, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers. As an apology without saying it. I didn't look up at him, but I felt him squeeze my hand back as If to say. It's okay. We walked like that, the rest of the way home in silence.

tag list: @matthewsturnioloswifey @alexb25598 @stvrnioloa @letstripsturniolo @amberjpx @karlybbx @idontevenknowwhatthisis9933

@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @d3adlyclassrat @iammattsturniolo @1201pm @urfavstromboli @that-chris-girl01 @lovingsturniolo @aoxash

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo

[mistydeyes]

eyes for the stars

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summary: The 141 boys can't help but feel slightly jealous about your celebrity crush. They can't help but wonder why you're so obsessed with them.

pairing: 141 x civvie! Reader

warnings: swearing, spoilers for Euphoria!

a/n: a little self indulgent because i too have all of these crushes (love my problematic ladies, sydney and phoebe <;3)

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

price: pedro pascal

The minute you laid eyes on him you were hooked. From episode 1 of The Last of Us, Pedro became your very apparent celebrity crush. Who doesn’t love a strong parental figure who will do anything for his unconventional child?

Ever the observer, Price noticed how your Instagram stories were filled with reposts of Pedro at award shows, magazine covers, and even behind-the-shoot pictures. He even noticed the growing collection in your shared home of Mandalorian memorabilia. He couldn't help but feel hurt that his partner posted a celebrity more than him.

As Gaz looked over his shoulder he commented, "Looks like a more handsome version of you, Sir." "Get back to work, Sergeant" Price commanded, before shoving his phone back in his pocket. He couldn't believe that this was getting to him.

“You have a type, love,” Price said as you sat watching another episode of Narcos. It was your turn to pick a show to binge and of course, you picked this one. Price secretly wished you spent his leave watching anything else. You were glued to the screen as you sat in your boyfriend’s arms. “I do not,” you argued, “you and he are so different.” You rolled your eyes and he let out a small chuckle.

“He’s an older man who is surprisingly resourceful and doesn’t let many people in until he’s given someone to protect with his life,” he began and you realized the similarities, “Plus, look at him. I might start shaving my beard and only having a mustache for you.”

As the realization hit you, you couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at his observations. You paused the episode and held his face gently. "I'd much rather have this mustached face here with me than him," you said and shared a loving kiss.

Price was later happy to say that your stories of the man were significantly less than before. Good thing he didn't see your phone wallpaper was of the very famous Pedro Pascal edit (yk the one).

soap: sydney sweeney

You both were unapologetic about your love for the problematic blonde on Euphoria. Although you couldn't condone her rumors about Glen Powell, you couldn't help but obsess over the gorgeous woman. A new Syd’s garage TikTok? Queue you running around your house to find your boyfriend. You both religiously watched her in episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale and White Lotus. Don’t even get me started on when she appeared on the red carpet, your texts were flooded with pictures and emojis.

There was always one rule between you and Soap: don't watch any Sydney Sweeney movies or shows without the other. He instituted that rule once the new Euphoria season was predicted to come out. As he left for another mission for the 141, he kissed you and said, "No Sydney without me, promise?" As you gave him your pinky, you wouldn't realize you would be breaking that rule later on that year.

To be fair, no one could have predicted that their mission would have taken until the end of November. Also, it was technically Soap's fault for not binging the show before he was deployed. However, since the call to duty was ever present, he didn't want to start a show without knowing he could finish it. You waited until August to finally start it. You had been dying since the season ended in February and had blocked all spoilers.

The minute the show started, you knew you couldn't stop. The plot line between Nate and Cassie was just TOO GOOD. Hours later, you had finished and were ashamed of yourself. You just had to know how the drama between Maddy and Cassie ended. Logging out of your account, you tried to hide all the evidence before your boyfriend inevitably came home.

It was December when Soap returned, excited to be home with you and even more excited to start Season 2 of Euphoria. As you made you both some popcorn, you heard an ear-piercing scream from the living room. You rushed over to see what happened but Soap stood there with a shocked face. "Bonnie, why does HBO say you finished all the episodes?" he accused and you knew you were done for. "I-" you started before he interrupted. "You betrayed me, worse than Graves," he said almost as if he was crying. As you looked at him sheepishly he said in a soft voice, "Please tell me that the rumors about Cassie and Nate aren't true."

gaz: henry cavill

Who could compete with Superman? Certainly not Gaz, in fact, he would get a little jealous when you mentioned your little crush. You loved Henry Cavill specifically the DC Comic version of him, not The Witcher. Gaz regretted ever letting Soap get you into the new films.

For the past year, your boyfriend would not hear the end of your pining for the dark-haired beauty. You were non-stop, always talking about his latest interviews and always having his films on repeat. Gaz even had to stop you from putting a framed picture of Henry on your fireplace mantle. You finally agreed that Henry belonged on screen, not in a frame along with your loved ones and your boyfriend.

Gaz miraculously was home for Halloween, a first! You had been invited to a party by your friends and decided on a Cat Woman costume. Oddly enough, when you asked Gaz what he was wearing, he said he already had it covered. This was his chance to show you who the real hero was. You tried to find out the best you could (even looking through his search history) but you could not find what it was.

"Babe, can you at least tell me you're on theme?" you asked over the phone, it was a few weeks before his return and you were anxious to know his secret costume. "Trust me, love, you'll be pleasantly surprised" he answered and you audibly groaned at his mysterious tone.

“Kyle, are you ready?” you called, dressed in your Cat Woman costume. You loved Lois Lane but something about the powerful energy Selena Kyle had plus her sexy attire made you pick this instead. As you adjusted your all-black outfit in the mirror, you heard your boyfriend descend the stairs. You turned around to see him dressed in Superman’s signature costume. The costume was of surprising quality, perfectly defining your boyfriend's physique and making his butt look great.

“I heard there’s someone who needs a superhero,” he triumphantly said as he struck a pose. You smiled widely and took many pictures. “You look amazing, babe! This is just like the movies,” you said excitedly as you kissed him on the cheek. “Bought it just for you” he winked, “Gotta let you know who the real hero is.” You laughed and punched his arm lightly. “Let’s go my Lois Lane,” he said and you grabbed his hand, getting ready to face the world with your hero.

ghost: phoebe bridgers

Now Ghost isn't like the rest of the 141 boys, he won't let his jealousy get the better of him. BUT COME ON, you were in love with Phoebe Bridgers, the haunting singer of Boygenius whose grey hair glistened in the moonlight. You owned every single record of hers and constantly pined over the TikTok videos of her on Taylor Swift's tour. You even bought you and Ghost her matching sweatpants with bones on the front and her name on the butt. He wouldn't admit it but he did love her style. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy whenever Kyoto came on the radio.

While on duty, Ghost could feel his phone ring. He answered immediately, knowing you only called for emergencies. He was greeted by you screaming. "BOYGENIUS IS COMING TO LONDON WE HAVE TO GO!!" you yelled excitedly. Ghost mentally slapped himself, he would have to remind you that this line was only for major injuries or death. "Love, Boygenius is not an emergency," he said sternly before you responded, "SIMON, PHOEBE FUCKING BRIDGERS WILL BE SHARING THE SAME AIR AS US," you yelled back. Ghost was glad no one was around because he would never hear the end of it. "Calm down, I'll see what I can do," he said before reiterating his love for you and hanging up.

When Ghost returned home, you were in a deep depression. You opened the door and looked sadder than he had ever seen you. "What's wrong?" he asked, closing the door behind him and taking you into his arms. You let out a few tears as you sat on the couch together. He noted you were all decked out in one of your many Phoebe hoodies and shorts. "I wasn't able to get tickets," you sniffled, "they sold out immediately." You knew it was stupid but your heart was crushed. You would never get to see her live.

"Well good thing I know a thing or two about computers," he said before pulling out his phone to show you a confirmation email. Your eyes widened when you saw he had secured VIP tickets to meet the band and watch from the pit. "Happy anniversary, my love," he said and you were speechless for a moment. "Simon, I think I could marry you," you whispered as you hugged him tightly. "Anything for you darling," he said and kissed you. As you excitedly confirmed all the details and peeked at the set list, Ghost felt the need to poke fun at you. "Do you love her because she has a thing for skeletons too?" That earned him a light slap to the chest.

The day of the concert, you could've fainted upon meeting the band. They were all so much cooler than you could have ever imagined. As you talked Julien's and Lucy's ears off, Phoebe walked up to Ghost. "Sick mask dude, gotta get me one of those," she said in her deep, chill voice. Moments later, Ghost almost had to subdue you as you tried to force the mask off his face to give it to her.

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#task force 141 x reader #task force 141 #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii #modern warfare 2 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #soap x reader #price x reader #kyle garrick x reader #john price x reader #Johnny mactavish x reader #mw2 imagine #madebyizzie #mw2 #izzie is writing

[jazzsonly]

౨ৎ blurb. ౨ৎ (highkey a wip.)

ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ

pairing(s): tara carpenter x gn!ghostface!reader

warning(s): no pronouns used. mentions of being high/drunk.

summary: ❝ and I run for miles just to get a taste ❞

────────✬────────

“tara.” you didn’t really have to try to yell over the music because the song had died down, building up to the base drop.

you watch your ex-girlfriend whip her head around, her whole body following to face your direction. any smile or ounce of joy that displayed on her face faded away, and a swirl of emotional shock took over her body.

her pupils dilated and mouth slightly agape in disbelief at the sight of you.

“wha—” she paused, her breath still thin.

“what are you doing here?”

“you texted me—”

“i did?” you could tell she wasn’t all the way there, either really high or drunk—but she could still feel everything for and about you while under the influence.

“did you not want me to come?” a silly question, you know.

“are you alone?” you flick your eyes around the crowd, looking for sam and the rest of core four but only stranger faces were in view.

you could practically hear tara’s heartbeat as she nervously looked around, breathing heavily, she took a few steps backwards before fully turning, trying to speed walk (more like stumble) away from you.

“no, no,” you follow closely behind the girl, bumping into a few bodies.

tara, now with her back pressed against the club wall, swallowed deeply. she had a look of too many emotions to name, but you knew every single one of them.

even though, you knew you were a monster for what you had done to her and the people you once called your family, you also knew you loved tara and there was no place you’d rather be right now—there was no place you’d ever wanna than with her.

“i’m scared of you, y/n.” you look down at the floor in shame.

“i’m sorry…for everything.”

“i’m sorry for hurting you…for hurting our frie—“

with harsh force the influenced girl shoved your chest, “my friends! they aren’t yours! you don’t terrorize and murde—”

you rush forward, covering her mouth. “tara.”

you could practically feel the fear radiating off the girl.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” you back away, slowly to let her know you weren’t going to do anything.

“why? why are you here? i gave you a chance, i let you run free from the cops. i let everyone think it was all richie and amber.”

you shake your head, still in close proximity of the girl. “you…you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever met and i need you to know that, tara. i never meant for any of this to happen…”

you pause, touching the girl again, this time bringing your hand up to caress her cheek.

“i never meant for it to go this far…i’m tired, i’m tired of running. i want to be with you.”

each word you spoke was like a bullet to tara, her breath was heavier and heavier with just each sound that came out of your mouth. it didn’t help much with how close you two were, she was basically trapped between the wall that buzz from the music and your hot body, that was heated from passion and emotion.

“i’m the person you fell in love with.” these eight words were the last drop to overflow the cup, tara grips the hem of your beat up leather jacket and flips you. your back now pressed against the wall and her body pressed against you.

“i wanna kill you for all you’ve done, you deserve to know how it feels.”

“i’m yours.” you speak proudly, knowing you’d fully surrender at the girl’s hands.

“you’re not mines…just stay away, y/n. even if i text you…even if i call one night, desperately missing you. i just want— need you to stay away.” tara pulls away, not even sparing you a last glance before disappearing into the sea of dancing, sweaty bodies.

━━━👩🏽‍💻wrote this after the longest day at work, anyways inspired by that one scene in euphoria with nate and jules.

#sam carpenter #tara carpenter #ethan landry #ghostface #mindy meeks martin #scream six #sam carpenter x you #sam loomis #scream #jenna ortega #writingofn #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #scream 6 #amber freeman #jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x reader #jazzsonly #tara carpenter x y/n #chad meeks x reader #amber freeman x y/n

[m4ttsturn]

my brother's best friend (pt 1)

pt 2 pt 3 pt 4

pairing: matt sturniolo x y/n

summary: over the years you find yourself falling more in love with your brother's best friend.

warnings: none yet

this is the first story I've ever written, so sorry if it's bad. anyway, hope you guys enjoy.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

(the first day i saw him)

"mom!" I ran down the stairs. "yeah, what do you need?" "where's Nate? he said he would go to the movies with me over an hour ago." I was beginning to get upset, Nate promised that he would take me to see Spider-Man Homecoming with him. "I'm not sure, he said he would be home by 5" she responded. I let out a heavy sigh before walking out of the kitchen.

I went into the living room and sat on the couch, aimlessly scrolling on my phone. I watched as the minutes on the clock slowly ticked by, my eyes flicking to the front door every few seconds. it had been 3 hours before Nate had finally showed up, laughing as he walked through the door. three boys followed close behind him.

"dude that movie was so good" Nate said as he kicked off his shoes. "yeah, I still can't believe the way Spider-Man saved the Avenger's plane" one of the other boys spoke. I coughed loudly drawing the attention of my brother and his friends in the entryway. making eye contact with Nate, his face flashing with realization. "oh shit, y/n I'm so sor-" Nate tried to speak, but I stood up abruptly off the couch walking to my room and slamming the door.

the second I closed the door I could feel my eyes watering. it was one thing for Nate to blow of our plans because his practice ran late or something, but for him to go without me even though we had planned this out ever since the trailer came out, hurt. especially since he went with three people I've never met instead.

I jumped onto my bed, burying my face into the pillows. I could hear four sets of footsteps approaching my bedroom before someone knocked on the door. I knew it was Nate because he used the secret knock combination we came up with in order to tell if it was each other or our parents knocking. "go away Nate" my voice was muffled by the pillow. Nate had opened the door anyway, "y/n look I'm sorry, I totally forgot that we were planning to go to the movies today" I turned to face him when he spoke "yeah, yeah whatever Nate."

I glanced around him, taking in the appearance of his friends, each looking similar, but I could tell the differences once I looked a little longer. I made eye contact with the boy who was standing behind them all, almost not visible. I blushed and turned my head away so none of them could see it. "you can go, you obviously want to hang out with these people more than me anyway." Nate gave me a sad expression before walking out of my room, closing the door behind him. as I listened to the sounds of footsteps furthering from my door I decided to read a book instead of wallowing around.

the next time I looked at the clock it read 12:37 am. I decided that I might as well call it a night and changed into my pajamas, which consisted of a tank top and a pair of women's boxers. assuming that Nate's friends had gone home by now, I didn't bother to put on something more presentable as I left my room to grab a glass of water.

when I walked into the kitchen I was met with three pairs of eyes on me, with Nate being in the bathroom. "oh, you guys are still here" I uttered as I went to grab a glass. ''yep, seems like it" the one with longer hair spoke. my back was to them as I filled up the cup with water from the fridge. once finished I turned around to face the three boys. "look I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, its just that Nate promised me he would take me to see that movie months ago. anyway I'm y/n." holding out my hand to them. The one with a nose ring takes it first "Nick" he shook my hand. "I'm Chris" the one with long hair spoke, dapping me up. "and you?" I turned to the last boy, realizing it's the one that I locked eyes with earlier. "Matt" he smiled slightly as he took my hand. my face flushed feeling the electricity buzzing through my fingertips.

"okay well nice to meet you guys, but I'm off to bed. tell Nate that I said he better take me to see that movie tomorrow, I don't care if he just watched it." "will do" Chris spoke, Matt and Nick nodded along. I headed back towards my room and closed the door, still thinking about the feeling of Matt's hand on mine. "well this is going to be a problem" I mumbled to myself before shutting off the light and snuggling under my covers.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nate had brought the triplets over again, many times over the next few years. each time my crush on Matt grew a little stronger. besides that I had actually gained a friendship with all of them.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

a/n: I'm probably going to move this story on pretty quickly I just wanted to get a little backstory out first.

let me know if there is anything I can do to write better, criticism is appreciated

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader

[earthtoharlow]

Flashing Lights

18) Easy

Jack Harlow x Singer!OC

series masterlist

“I’m kinda nervous.” Jack said as he and Maryse walked up the sidewalk towards Maryse’s childhood home. He was meeting her parents for the first time and he was nervous as hell.

Maryse squeezed his hand and looked up towards him. “You shouldn’t be, seriously!” Maryse knew that her parents were going to love him, everyone loved him. There’s not a person on this earth that Jack couldn’t charm.

When they walked in her mom gave both of them a huge hug. Her laughter filled the entry way as she pulled Jack into a tight embrace. “I’ve heard so much about you!” She said, her eyes twinkling with mischief just like Maryse’s would. “You must be the one who stole my daughter’s heart!”

Jack grinned in response, his charm winning over her mom in an instant. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Monet!”

“Oh honey, that makes me feel old! Call me Margot.”

As they settled in the living room, Jack immediately stood when her father walked in the room. This was the moment he had been dreading the most. As they shook hands Jack couldn’t help but feel a pang of nerves. His nerves became worse when Maryse's father asked him to step outside with him.

“Dad!”

“I’ll be nice, I promise.” Maryse’s father said with a wink

Once outside, the two men were silent for a moment, enjoying the cool breeze blowing in the air. Maryse’s dad's gaze towards Jack softened with a knowing look. “I can tell just by how you look at my daughter that you love her,” he said, his voice filled with understanding.

Jack’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that his feelings for Maryse ran deep, but hearing her father acknowledge them so openly filled him with a sense of validation and reassurance.

Jack met the older gentleman’s eyes with sincerity, “Yes, sir,” he replied, his voice steady with conviction. “I love her more than words can express. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known, and I’m grateful every day to have her in my life.”

A small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Good,” he said gently but firmly. “Loving each other is easy. It’s the simplest thing in the world, really. But sometimes, we have a way of making it harder than it needs to be.”

Jack nodded listening intently, feeling the weight of his words.

“And my daughter,” her dad continued, his voice softening with affection, “She’s a special one. She’s got a heart of gold, but it’s also fragile, you know? So I’m asking you to be gentle with it. Love can feel like a stranger to her because of how she’s been hurt in the past,” he said, his words carrying the weight of understanding.

Jack’s heart began to ache when he thought back to everything Maryse dealt with, with Nate. He knew she carried some of those scars.

“I understand, sir. I’ll do everything I can to show M that love doesn’t have to hurt or be toxic. It can be gentle and kind.”

A smile of approval spread across her dads face. “I believe you, just remember to be patient with her. Treat her with care and she’ll love you back fiercely in return.”

Maryse was slightly shocked when they walked back in the room with a smile on their face. Her dad’s stern demeanor softened as he announced to the room. “I like this one.” Clapping Jack on his back with a smile. “You’re alright, kid.”

“Thanks sir.”

“You can call me Murphy.”

“You didn’t threaten him did you?” Maryse quipped, half joking.

He chucked, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Oh, you know me, sweetheart,” he replied with a grin. “I just gave him a friendly reminder of what’s at stake if he ever breaks your heart.”

Maryse rolled her eyes at her overbearing father, happy that he cared about her well being and happiness. Jack chuckled and made his way back over to the couch and enveloped Maryse in his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.” He whispered softly.

A sense of contentment washed over Maryse. She knew that she had found someone special. Jack has successfully won over the most important people in her life. She couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with him.

Maryse slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to the side, and quickly became disappointed that Jack wasn’t next to her. That dream had left her heart heavy. She couldn’t shake the sadness that lingered after.

With a heavy sigh, she wiped away her tears and tried to push the memories of her dream aside, knowing that dwelling on the past would only bring more pain. Maryse longed for the days when they were happy together, when their love felt effortless. Emptiness consumed her as she continued to face the reality of the breakup.

As she laid in the dark staring up at the ceiling couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever find a way to move on from the pain of their breakup, it had only been a month and she felt like she would forever be haunted by the memories of what could have been.

***

BREAKING: Jack Harlow And Maryse Monet Break up!!

In a shocking turn of events, the much-adored celebrity couple, Maryse Monet and Jack Harlow have reportedly called it quits! Sources say they broke up about a month ago and have been trying to hide it from everyone. Including friends and family. The two have unfollowed each other on social media.

Reports suggest that Maryse has been struggling to deal with the breakup, with eyewitnesses claiming to have seen her in tears during her recent concert performances when singing songs she wrote about the rapper.

While neither Maryse nor Jack have officially addressed the breakup, the news has sent shockwaves through their fan base. Many have taken to social media to express their disbelief and sadness over the apparent end of their fairytale romance.

Stay tuned for further updates as this story develops.

Jack’s heart sank as he read the article announcing their breakup. He was shocked that it took this long for the press to find out. Jack had to stop Neelam from putting it out there immediately.

Navigating his crazy tour schedule, he found himself engulfed in a relentless cycle of performances, interviews, and appearances. The demands of his career left him with little time to process the breakup.

The shows each night were a temporary escape. But the quiet moments between performances, the weight of his grief constantly threatened to suffocate him. Alone in his hotel room at night, surrounded by the silence of his thoughts.

His chest tightened as he scrolled further and watched the video of Maryse crying on stage, pain evident on her face. A surge of guilt washed over him. He longed to reach out to her to offer her comfort and reassurance, but a nagging fear held him back.

Jack knew that Maryse needed space to heal, to confront her own demons and work through her issues. And as much as he wanted to be there for her, he also knew that she needed to reach out first – that she needed to take the first step towards reconciliation.

The thought of her suffering alone tore at his heart, and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of helplessness wash over him. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything would be okay, but he knew that it wasn’t his place – not yet, anyway.

He had heard from Urban the day prior that they finally announced she was playing Princess Belle. Jack had clenched his fists in frustration, cursing the timing of their breakup and the distance that now separated them. He hated the fact that he couldn’t be there to celebrate Maryse’s achievement in person, to share in her joy and shower her with the love and support she deserved.

The more Jack thought about her the more upset he got. Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, he felt tears welling up in his eyes, the ache of missing Maryse was becoming unbearable. He closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop, but they continued to flow unchecked down his cheeks.

Jack had his head in his hands when Urban unexpectedly walked into the hotel room with a grin on his face but it quickly faded when caught sight of Jack sitting on the edge of the bed with trembling shoulders.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Urban asked, concern lacing his voice as he moved closer.

Jack quickly wiped his eyes and put on a fake smile. He wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, not even to Urban. “Yeah, man, I’m fine,” he insisted, his voice wavering slightly. “Just… you know, tour stuff.”

Urban raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by the deflection. But before he could press further Jack quickly hopped up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, “I’ll be right down, I’m just going to use the restroom.” And closed the door behind him before Urban could even respond.

Jack leaned against the sink, his hands trembling slightly as he splashed cold water on his face. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, the raw pain etched in his features, was a stark reminder of the heartbreak he had been trying so hard to bury.

He knew he couldn’t run away from the pain for much longer but he was going to stretch it for as long as he could.

***

CoCo stood in front of the doorway of the hotel room, her arms crossed and a look of determination on her face. “Alright, enough is enough,” she declared, her voice firm. “You’ve been moping around in bed for a month now when not performing, and it’s time to snap out of it.”

Maryse stayed curled up under the covers with tear stained cheeks, she groaned in protest. “I don’t feel like celebrating,” she muttered, her voice muffled by the pillow.

CoCo rolled her eyes, refusing to be swayed by her gloomy attitude. “Well, tough luck,” she retorted, marching over to the bed and yanking the covers off with a swift motion. “You’ve just been announced as the lead in a live action Beauty and the Beast and you’re going to act like it.”

Maryse let out a frustrated sigh as she reluctantly sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly. “I can’t just pretend like everything’s okay,” she protested, her voice tinged with sadness.

CoCo softened her voice, kneeling down in front of her with a sympathetic expression. “I know it’s hard, Maryse”, she said gently, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “But you can’t let this breakup consume you. You’re stronger than that, and you have a career to focus on.”

She nodded reluctantly, as she stared down at her trembling hands. “I just miss him so much,” Maryse admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I know you miss him,” CoCo said softly, “but you’re never going to get him back if you don’t take care of yourself and heal from past trauma.”

Maryse knew deep down that she couldn’t continue to wallow in her pain and expect things to magically fall back into place with Jack. She needed to prioritize her own well-being and address the unresolved issues that had been weighing her down for far too long. “It’s like I’m scared of letting myself be happy.”

CoCo nodded in understanding, her expression filled with empathy. “You want a healthy relationship until one is sitting in front of you, then you don’t know what to do with it so you sabotage it,” she explained, her voice gentle yet firm.

It was true – she had spent so long yearning for real love after her breakup with Nate and when it finally presented itself to her, she had struggled to fully embrace it. Instead, she had allowed her insecurities and fears to drive a wedge between her and Jack sabotaging their relationship in the process.

Tears welled up in Maryse’s eyes, she had pushed away the one person who had truly cared for her, all because she didn’t know how to handle the intensity of her own emotions. “I don’t know why I do it,” she admitted, her voice trembling with emotion.

Her manager reached out and gently squeezed her hand, offering her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Maryse,” she said softly. “We all have our demons to face. But you have to remember that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have love in your life.”

Maryse sighed heavily knowing she was right. “What should I do now?” she asked. “I feel helpless.”

“You’ve gotta pick yourself back up, Maryse,” she said gently. “Become a better version of yourself, and put all your emotions into your music. Let it be your therapy, and your outlet for healing.”

She nodded, she knew that she needed to channel her pain into something constructive.

“And as for your broken relationship,” CoCo continued, her tone filled with wisdom, “it’ll fix itself when it’s ready. Love has a funny way of finding its way back to us when we least expect it. But in the meantime, focus on yourself and your music. That’s where your strength lies.”

Maryse nodded knowing CoCo was right but that didn’t make the breakup hurt any less. The sting of heartbreak was still fresh and overwhelming, but she was going to do what CoCo said because she wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to handle the ache in her chest.

***

AN: I can’t handle this 🤧 tell your thoughts thank you for reading!!

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @snows-blog-of-fiction @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @toocriticalharlow @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww @jaydaaasworld @kkrenae @hufflewhore128 @w1ldthoughts @jackiehollanderr @katiaw2 @halfmoondaze @babybardi2 @vinniehackersbaee @daphnescorner

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow angst #Jack Harlow black oc #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x oc #black reader #flashing lights

[mediocre-writerr]

hi!! i absolutely loved sparks, it was PERFECT and for sure the best maddy imagine in this app

so i would like to request a maddy x fem!reader based on style by taylor swift where maddy is "you got that long hair slicked back white tshirt" and reader is "and i got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

and reader is like, a cute sweet good girl and everyone thinks she's and angel so when she shows up dating the maddy perez everyone is shocked but they don't really care and just a looot of pda and maddy likes to keep her hands around reader waist all the time and tease her about the skirts she wear saying it is for her

well, thanks for reading and i really like your writing <3

style [maddy perez]

summary: you've always had that good girl faith, maddy perez just happens to be the opposite of that. it's the perfet combo

warnings: some explicit language, underage drinking, and allusions to smut

pairings: maddy perez x fem!reader

mediocre author's note: hey guys! this request has been sitting in my inbox for over a year now...i apologize dearly lol! but it's out now and i hope you enjoy. slowly, but surely getting through all of these requests so please be patient with me. love you all!

Whispers bounced off the lockers and classrooms in East Highland High School. Ever since Maddy Perez finally and officially moved on from Nate Jacobs, rumors have been spreading about who has captivated her heart.

“Y/N, are you going to the party tonight?” Lexi asked you as you put your books in your locker.

A laugh interrupted your answer, “Y/N? Go to a party?” Kat said as she continued to laugh, “Lexi, you’re one of the smartest people I know, but that was such a dumb question,” 

“Ha ha, very funny, but as a matter of fact, I am going to the party tonight,” you answered, shutting the locker behind you. 

“Oh my gosh, is Hell freezing over?” Kat continued to tease and you rolled your eyes playfully, “If Hell is freezing over does that mean we can finally meet your new boyfriend Maddy?” 

“Yeah, I don’t understand why you won’t just tell us! We’re your best friends!” Cassie added on as all of you made your way towards the parking lot.

Maddy just shrugged with a small smirk on her face, “It’s fun keeping you all on your toes, besides, keeping it a secret makes the sex a lot hotter,” she whispered the last sentence, shooting the group a wink, “Bye girls! I’ll see you tonight!” 

As you part ways with the other girls, you pull your phone out of your pocket: Kat and Cassie are going to lose their minds because of you. 

You watched as the three dots quickly popped up without missing a beat: And? They can keep thinking all they want, it’ll make the reveal even better. 

Very true. You replied before quickly typing up another text, You think the sex is hotter because we keep it a secret?

Our sex is always hot, baby ; ) I’ll see you at midnight xxx  A warm flush appeared on your face at the simple words, as you started your car to begin your drive home. 

You and Maddy had been dating for about four months now. What started out as a drunk hookup turned into something way more.

It was different than Maddy expected. Her expectations for relationships and love in general were washed down the drain after her toxic cycle with Nate. She always believed that she wasn’t built for a normal relationship. She always thought that she had to fight and argue for a relationship to be exciting. 

That wasn’t the case with you. Maddy tried to pick a fight with you once, but you quickly shut it down. You reassured her that she doesn’t have to prove that she is something she’s not. The Maddy you knew and were falling in love with was nothing like the girl who was dating Nate Jacobs. She was worried that it would bore her, but it didn’t. Your soft touches and reassuring words made her feel like she was falling in love with you over and over again. 

You were pulled out of your homework when your phone buzzed: I’m outside xxx 

Quietly, you tiptoed out of your room and downstairs to the backdoor, making sure to keep it unlocked so you can sneak back in after. Maddy was leaning against the passenger door as her headlights were off, causing her already dark car to seem much darker.

“Is that the Maddy Perez wearing a plain white t-shirt?” you asked, smirking as she smiled at your words.

She wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you into her, humming in response, “I love this tight little skirt you’re wearing baby,” she said before moving to whisper in your ear, “You look so gorgeous. I am debating if I should keep you all to myself tonight,” 

You bit your lip, lifting her chin up so your eyes could meet, “That would ruin the fun tonight, don’t you think? How about we make our little appearance and then you can take me home and we’ll have our own fun?” 

“Deal,” she whispered, nipping at the sweet spot on your neck. 

Maddy opened the door for you before quickly getting into her seat to drive to McKay’s. She rested her hand on your thigh, as she drove down the suburban streets. 

Her gaze lingering on your skirt or your tight crop top. The red light illuminated on the two of you as she came to a stop. You leaned over the middle console, guiding her face to look at you. Your lips brushing over hers as you spoke, “Keep your wild eyes on the road,” Maddy let out a groan as you fell back onto the passenger seat. 

“Has anyone seen Maddy? I know she loves to be fashionably late, but she’s even later than usual,” Kat asked.

“Y/N’s not here yet either,” Lexi added on. 

You smirked to yourself as you heard them talk, “Sorry I’m late guys, I was doing homework and completely lost track of time,” 

“We were starting to think that you would pull a no show again,” Kat added on with a smirk lingering her face before her jaw dropped, “Is that Maddy?”

“In a plain white t-shirt?” Cassie chimed up equally as shocked as the brunette. 

“Oh wow. I mean I’ve seen her wear my shirts before, but this is so fucking hot,” you winked at all of them before making your way towards your girlfriend. 

Maddy smirked at you before wrapping her arms around your waist. Her lips finally meeting yours in a passionate kiss. You tugged her closer to you before smiling into it. 

“Y/N and Maddy?” Cassie breathed out.

“No fucking way,” Kat whispered.

Lexi rolled her eyes at the two, “You guys really had no idea? It was obvious,” 

You and Maddy finally pulled away as you approached your friends. Cassie and Kat still needed time to pick their jaws up from off the floor, “What happened, Kat? Close your mouth, sweetheart, you’ll catch flies,” you finally tease the girl back. 

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck?” Kat admitted, “Y/N! You’re one of those good girls that everyone always talks about. You’re with Maddy Perez?!”

“Am I not a good girl, Kat?” Maddy faked pouted. 

You chuckle, kissing her cheek softly, “Trust me Kat, Maddy is a very good girl,” you wink at her and everyone in the circle gags jokingly except for Maddy who just tightens her hand around your waist, leaving an open mouthed kiss on your neck. “Plus, you know what they say every good girl has a thing for the bad guy.” 

#maddy perez x reader #maddy perez imagines #euphoria imagines

[uluvjay]

Illicit Affairs- J.Hughes

Authors note: Hi! Hope you enjoy this it’s the first thing I’ve written in a very very long time, I apologize for any errors❤️

Summery: Being friends with benefits with the nhls pretty boy isn’t always the best

Gif isn’t mine cred to owner!

—

Make sure nobody sees you leave Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

“You gotta go” he said as soon as you caught your breath standing up and picking your clothes off the floor. “Already? J we just finished.” , “Boys are coming over soon, you know I don’t want them knowing about whatever this is” he said walking into his en-suite. Your stomach twisted at his words and you felt your heart break a little, you didn’t know why it had been the same treatment for the past six months. You stood up getting dressed as you heard his shower turn on, “Make sure nobody sees you! And keep your head down”. You didn’t reply as you slipped out of his bedroom and grabbed your keys off his kitchen counter.

Everything started six months ago, you’ve been friends with Dawson since diapers and when you moved to Jersey for a job he was more then excited to introduce you to his friends. However you and a certain center got a lot more than friendly your second time going out to a bar with them. Since then you and the first overall pick had been in a friends with benefits relationship that absolutely nobody could no about, however what Jack didn’t about was the feelings you have for him. Despite how shitty he treats you, the way he stops whatever he’s doing if a family member calls, the way he raves about his siblings, the way he took care of your body when you were alone, and his helping nature drew you right back in every single time.

Leave the perfume on the shelf, That you picked out just for him

You sighed when you seen the text from Dawson pop up on your screen, the devils had a big win tonight and you knew he was inviting you out.

Hey! Big win tonight wanna come to Lenny’s with us?

I’m not sure, I don’t really feel like drinking tonight Daws

Aw come on for me plz? You don’t have to drink a lot and I’ll buy you nachos

It’ll only be me, Jack, Nico, and Nate tonight so we can go easy

You sighed even harder, you really didn’t wanna go out or be around Jack tonight know what it’ll more than likely lead to but you couldn’t say no to your best friend.

Okay fine

Yay your the best ever y/n! See you at 10

Looking at the time and seeing it was already 9:30 you went to get dressed and touch up your makeup from the day. You settled on a simple black body suit and jeans before going and picking your scent for the night, you’d typically go with the one Jack loved and you always wore for him but decided against it.

-

As you walked into Lenny’s you could already spot the group as they weren’t hard to miss. However you did seem the miss the girl that was sitting under jacks arm, you noticed her and immediately looked over at Jack who was already looking at you with a smirk. You didn’t get to dwell on the pain in your chest for long though as Nico pulled you into a tight hug. “Y/n! I’m so glad you could make it” he slurred slightly but you weren’t judging he had a big night himself with four points. “Me too, congrats on the four point night!” You tried to sound happy. He didn’t get to respond as as Dawson pulled you into his arms and gave you one of his signature hugs.

You noticed out to the corner of your eye the girl with Jack was pointing at you and talking in Jacks ear. “Y/n! Come meet my girlfriend Stella” Jack said causing you to stop breathing for a second. A girlfriend? Two days ago he was buried inside you and two days before that as well. But nonetheless you turned to the little table and introduced yourself, “Hi I’m Y/n” you said putting your hand out for her to shake, all she did was look at your hand with a dirty look and say “I’m Stella”.

You just simply nodded and announced you were going to get a drink from the bar. As you were waiting for your drink you felt a presence next to you and the smell of a very familiar cologne. ”You never gave me my hug” he said, “Jack you were sitting down, I wasn’t coming all the way around a table just to hug you” you replied slightly irritated. “Well I’m right here” he said with a grin on his face, you knew he wasn’t gonna stop so you gave him a weak Side hug, but as you went to pull away you heard him sniffing. “What the hell are you sniffing?”, “you, your not wearing my perfume” you weren’t sure what to say back, he noticed? You knew he liked it but you didn’t think he paid that much attention. “Didn’t want to” “yeah but you always wear it when you know you’re gonna be around me”, “I just didn’t want to tonight jack” you said grabbing your drink and walking back to the table.

Don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

Two weeks later you found yourself on Dawsons couch bawling your eyes out and telling him everything. How it started between you and Jack and how it had pretty much ended, thankfully he wasn’t mad that you and Jack had been sleeping together. But he was pissed about how Jack treated you and the fact Jack had been dating Stella for three months. After everything he let you go nap in his guest room but forgetting to tell you he and the boys had planned for them to come over and watch a football game, so when you woke up to a familiar hand stroking your cheek you were a little more than surprised.

“Baby?” Jack asked as he seen you waking up and registering what was happening. “Why were you crying? And why are you in here? Did something happen?” He started bombarding you with questions.

“Go away” you said in a weak voice, “what? No I’m trying to make sure your okay your face is covered in dry tears and your eyes a swollen baby” the sincerity in his voice made you want to cry even more.

“Don’t call me that Jack, I’m not your baby” , “Yes you are” he said with a slight laugh but you weren’t laughing. “I told Dawson” you blurted immediately seeing his face drop into a serious one.

“Huh? Told him what? About us? Why the fuck would you do that Y/n” he said getting a little mad now. “Because I’m done Jack, I can’t take it anymore I’m in love with you okay! And you treat me like shit. You’ve been fucking me for the past six months but you’ve had a girlfriend for the last thee”

He didn’t reply you could see him thinking and trying not to say something hateful. “I can’t help you fell In love with me” he said. “Me either but I did and I can’t take it back which is why I’m done, I don’t wanna be hurt anymore I want someone that truly loves me J” you said starting to cry a little. “Okay..I respect your decision” he said giving you a kiss on your head and leaving the room.

And that’s the thing about Illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and longing stares, it’s born from just one single glance, But it dies, and it dies, and it dies a million little times.

Part2



#jack hughes #nhl imagine #dawson mercer #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #angst #nico hischier #nj devils #new jersey devils

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part ten

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

your reunion comes with a price.

a/n: can’t stop won’t stop part today part tomorrow we are AMMMMMMMPED people. and this is the first official chapter with the use of Liv’s name! she will still be as nondescript as possible for now (this plot is ever-evolving) with sparse use of her name. but like I said in the announcement, if named OCs are not your thing, there’s no hard feelings here! also a bit of Joel x Tess starting in this part - I do want to say that there is ZERO hate on my end for their relationship, I love what they did/are doing in the show, but for the sake of the plot, they are not as established in this fic.

word count: 4.4k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, some questionable choices, drinking, Joel has a lot of feelings and doesn’t know how to express them.

✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters✨

He can’t stop pacing.

His gut has been knotted with worry since Tommy disappeared into around the bend in the road. Tess has been watching him every since, from her spot perched atop a long defrosted freezer. She’s got her knees pulled up, legs bowed, arms wrapped around. Some kind of comfortable, he supposes.

Joel’s back hurts. It always has, and the end of the world certainly hasn’t put a stop to it. He rubs at his shoulder as he paces, fingers digging into his muscle. The gun holstered at his thigh feels heavier than normal, the knife on his belt even more so.

The gas station is a few miles out of the city. It made the most sense, stopping here for now. It was decent shelter, empty of Infected, good sight lines. The luckiest they’d been in a long time. Luckier still when they found a mostly-intact map of the state buried under a stack of cardboard inside the station’s store. Tommy was sure of the path, and while Joel was loathe to let his brother leave, he knew it was the best play. But that hasn’t stopped him from pacing the floor so long he’s actually worn the tiles clean.

“Would you sit down or something?” Tess quips, her voice exasperated. “You’re making me fucking nervous, pacing like that.”

He gives her a hard look, but relents, heads for one of the windows dotting front of the store. He crosses his arms over his chest, stares through the grimy glass. 

They found Tess just outside of Kentucky, nearly three years back. Her and her husband, Nate, were just trying to make their way, same as Joel and Tommy. After a close call with a horde of Infected, they’d joined up, more convinced that strength was in numbers than anything else.

Tess is strong, capable. She’s proved herself a hundred times over, by now, saved both Joel and Tommy’s lives more than Joel cares to count. He doesn’t like feeling like he owes anybody anything, but with her, it’s different.

And after Nate turned, it got…different, again.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen. She worked through her grief quietly, all too similar to himself. The name came up, and she shot it down. “I don’t need your fucking sympathy, Miller.”

Joel’s still holding onto you, in a way. It’s a spark that never truly goes out, a prick of warmth in his chest that he knows he has to keep small. It would burn its way straight through him if he let it get any bigger. He just…hopes you’re alive. That’s all he can allow himself to do.

But Tess, with her brash tone and her slim tolerance for bullshit, he can see the similarities, between you two. His mind wonders if you’d be friends, given the chance, and he has to force the thought from his head. There’s no guarantee you’re still in Boston, still breathing. There are not guarantees at all.

With Tess, it’s stress relief. He knows that. She knows that. The ground rules were laid out right from the first time. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it did, and…it felt good. A small comfort in a world that was still hellbent on ending him.

A small comfort. A small spark. That’s all he’ll allow himself.

That’s all he can live with.

+

“Joel’s alive.”

Your boots squeak on the kitchen floor. You stare at Tommy, open-mouthed, gaping like a damn fish.

“He’s…alive.” The truth tastes funny on your tongue. You say it again. “Joel’s alive.”

Tommy nods, and you pull him back against you, hugging him a second time, a nearly shouted oh my god falling from your lips as you collide again. He laughs, the sound like music to your ears, hugging you tighter still. “So are you, Liv,” he says, his voice low in your ear, cracking on your name, and you pull back again.

“Where is he?” you ask, gripping his shoulders. “Where have you been? How long, since you left Austin? Is Sarah with Joel? What’s…” The questions keep pouring out of you, something triggered in the back of your brain. You need to know everything; where they’ve been, what they’ve been doing, how they stayed alive all these years. You need to know.

Tommy lets go of you just enough to take your hand, but before he can get a word out, Deanna speaks. “Maybe you two should go downstairs,” she says, putting a soft hand on your shoulder. “Kiddos should get to bed soon, y’all should have your privacy.”

You nod, and Tommy follows suit. “Thank you, Deanna,” he says, catching her hand before she can walk away. “For everything.”

She smiles at him. “You’re welcome, Tommy.” Her eyes slide to you. “Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You just nod again, the questions still stalled on your tongue. Tommy follows you out of Deanna’s apartment, down the hallway to the stairs. You only hit the first landing before you can’t hold your tongue any longer. “How did you find me?”

“I asked around at the clinic, after I got through the gate,” he says, keeping pace with you as you head down the next flight of stairs. “Didn’t think FEDRA soldiers was a good place to start. The first nurse had no idea what I was on about, but another heard me say your name and pointed me in Deanna’s direction. Took a bit of interrogating at the business end of a shotgun to convince her I really knew you, but she warmed up to me in the end.”

“Shotgun?” you balk. You’ve told her a million times not to keep the thing around, in case FEDRA ever came knocking. (Pot calling the kettle black, you’re well aware…) But she’s insisted on keeping it strapped beneath the kitchen table ever since the mall. “That woman, I swear.”

“She had nothing but nice things to say about you,” he informs you, and you can’t help the grin that tugs at your mouth as you hit the second landing, pushing the door open that leads to the hallway. “Sounds like you’ve been making quite the living.”

“Doing what I can,” you reply, fishing your keys out of your pocket. “This is me.” You stop in front of your door, unlock it, push it open. “Not much, but it works.”

Tommy follows you in, shucks off his jacket. You do the same, hiding your bag beneath it on the hook. You point out the bathroom, offer him some water.

“Is this a cup of tea conversation,” you ask, handing him a water bottle, “or a something stronger kind of conversation?”

Tommy’s eyes widen. “You have something stronger?”

You tell him to sit, walk into the kitchen and shove the fridge to the side with a heave, revealing the hole you cracked into the drywall, stacked with bottles of liquor. “Pick your poison, Miller.”

He’s gaping at you. “You’re joking.”

“I’m serious,” you laugh, pushing a hand through your still-damp hair. “Lots of abandoned houses outside the wall, lots of rich people who left a lot of good shit behind.”

He points to one of the bottles, and you pull it out, set it on the counter, shove the fridge back into place. Mismatched glasses are laid out on the table, filled with two fingers of dark liquor, some barrel-aged whiskey you haven’t even tried yet.

“To you,” Tommy says, raising his glass to you, and your mouth twitches, the soft clink reaching your ears. The first sip burns, and you wince, setting the glass on the table. “Where do I start?”

“At the beginning, ideally,” you quip, and he laughs, draining his glass to nothing and reaching for the bottle.

“May I?”

“‘Course.”

Tommy has been with Joel the whole time. “I was in the truck with him, when he called you that night,” he says, and the memory makes your shoulder prickle. “When the phone cut out, I thought he was gonna put his fist through my damn dashboard.” He chuckles, but there’s no humour in it. “The plan has always been to come to Boston.” His dark eyes flick up to your face. “To find you. Or try to. After—” He stops, cuts himself short, empties his glass again.

“After what?” you prompt, reaching out and laying your hand on Tommy’s forearm. “Tommy, tell me. Please.”

“I was in jail, the night everything went down. Got into some stupid bar fight, didn’t realize until after that the guy was infected; tried to bite the fuckin’ waitress. But I called Joel, and he came to get me. We saw all kinds of weird shit happening in the city, heard weirder shit on the radio, then he called you. We went home, got Sarah, tried to get the hell out of dodge. We got stuck, in the city. Fuckin’ plane fell right out of the sky, crashed my truck.

“We got separated, for a while. I had to circle around, try to meet up with them again, and when I found them, Joel, he…” He trails off, his brow furrowing, eyes going shiny. “Sarah died. That night.” He sets the glass on the table, leans back in his chair. “She hurt her ankle, when the truck crashed, and Joel was carrying her. Found them at the bottom of a hill, fuckin’ soldier with a gun pointed right at Joel. He’d already fired at them and then I…I shot first.”

You plant your elbow on the table, cover your mouth with your hand. There are tears pouring down your cheeks, and you’re still holding Tommy’s arm. He covers your hand with his own.

“Joel was on the ground, hurt but okay, but Sarah, she…” His brow pinches, eyes wet. “Just like that, she was gone, and he…it broke him.”

Slowly, you pull your hand away from your mouth. You refill your glass, toss the entire thing back in one go. It burns like hell, but you barely notice it, wiping the tears from your face. “Tommy, where is he?”

“Gas station, maybe ten clicks outside the city. Cumberland Farms, or something like that.”

“I know it.”

He nods. “The plan was for me to come first, see if they’d let me in, figure out how easy or not it would be to get them in, since…”

“Since what?” you prompt, lifting a brow.

“We got kicked out of the last QZ we were in. Baltimore, before it fell. Tess, she—”

“Who’s Tess?”

He gives you the story; Tess Servopolous, badass extraordinaire, according to Tommy’s description. They’d joined up with her and her husband originally, but he’d been infected, and she’d been the one to put a bullet in him. Smart as hell, apparently with ideals similar to your own; Joel and Tess had been kicked out of Baltimore for smuggling, and the FEDRA soldiers in Baltimore were using exile as punishment. Tommy, refusing to leave his brother, had left of his own accord.

“So it’s just the two of them?” you ask, your brain churning, an idea already starting to form.

Tommy nods. “That’s it.”

You push back your chair, startling Tommy, who catches your arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Stay here,” you say, ignoring his question, grabbing a different — dry — jacket off the hook. Tommy gives you a hard look, crossing his arms over his chest. “Eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want. The bed’s not half bad.”

“Where are you going?” He gets to his feet. “I’m coming with you.”

“No,” you say quickly, shaking your head. “You just got here. You can’t get caught.”

“And you can?”

“I can get them in, but I have to go talk to someone first.”

“What about the curfew?” he asks. Your eyes dart to the clock on the wall; almost an hour past. “Liv, don’t—”

“It’ll be okay, Tommy,” you say, trying to muster up something resembling a smile. “I promise.”

+

You’re soaked again by the time you’re tapping on Nick’s window, perched precariously on the fire escape outside. McCoy was on the overnight patrol; you’d seen him halfway between your building and Nick’s. The city is dark, night taking hold, curfew emptying the streets and lighting windows, casting shadows onto the pavement. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” Nick says by way of hello, sliding the window open. You climb through immediately, shivering violently as the warmth of his apartment covers you. He tries to reach for you, but you step out of his grip, arms crossed over your chest.

“Are you working the gate tomorrow?” you ask, and he just stares at you, one brow raised. When he doesn’t answer right away, you ask again. “Nick, are you working the gate tomorrow?”

He’s looking at you like you’ve got three heads. “I am…why?”

“I need your help,” you say quickly, your knees knocking together as you shiver again. “I’m bringing two people through the gate tomorrow, and I need you to get them through, no matter what, no questions asked.”

Those blue eyes of his darken. “I can’t do that.”

“You can,” you insist, staring him down. “I know you can. I’ll…I’ll vouch for them, feed them with my own fucking ration cards until they can pull their own weight. They can sleep in my apartment, I don’t care. I just need them inside the QZ. Please.”

For a moment that feels like an hour, he just stares at you, mouth slightly parted, deep lines on his forehead. “Who is it?”

“Does it matter?”

Nick scoffs. “I guess not. But you…why can’t they just go through the gate like everyone else? Doesn’t matter what I do, if they’re infected, they’re not—”

“They’re not infected,” you tell him, cutting him off. “I’m not an idiot. That’s not the problem.”

“Then what…?”

“They were kicked out of Baltimore, before it fell. Which means they’re in the system, which means any other soldier would turn them away on the spot.”

He scrubs a hand over his face. “And you want me to just let them through? Why’d they get kicked out of Baltimore?” His expression changes, something like understanding, but you know before the words are out of his mouth that he’s wrong. “What kind of fucked up deal have you made, Liv?”

“I didn’t make a fucking deal,” you say, exasperation creeping into your tone. “I just…I need them inside, Nick. Please. I’ll do whatever you want me to. Throw me in lockup for a week, I don’t fucking care. Just get them inside. Please.”

After a moment, he replies. His face is a hard mask, thick arms crossed over his chest. “Not a week. Two days. You go in the moment they’re through the gate. It’ll have to be official shit, on your record, proof that you were in lockup when they were brought through. I swear to god, if they pull any shit, if anything traces back to—”

“It won’t, Nick,” you say, forcing yourself to relax, reaching out a putting a hand on his arm. “I promise.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “So says the smuggler.”

You crack a smile. “So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah,” he nods, almost rolling his eyes at you. “I’ll do it. You owe me. And you know I can’t protect you in lockup.”

“I know.”

You know you shouldn’t do it; in fact, everything in you screams in the opposite direction. But when he reaches out, grabs the zipper of your coat and hauls you close, you kiss him. It lingers, the feeling of his hands moving to your waist all too familiar, but the entire time, your mind is whirling.

Joel is alive.

+

You’re gone, as soon as the sun’s up.

Nick’s awake, pulling on his gear, as you’re doing the same, nursing the cup of good coffee he’d pushed into your hands almost the second you opened your eyes. You tried to wave it off, but he wouldn’t let you. “Drink it.”

You sink onto the edge of his bed as you tie up your boots. He’s watching you, pulling a clean t-shirt over his head, tightening his belt.

“How long will you be?”

“Five hours, maybe longer.” You get to your feet. “It’s a long trek.”

His brow twitches. “I don’t like this.” Nick steps towards you, and that little voice in you, the one that had screamed when he first kissed you last night, almost has you flinching away. He reaches out, swipes his thumb over your cheek, down and over your chin. “At least tell me who they are.”

“Does it matter?” you ask, echoing yourself from last night. “They’re survivors. They deserve a safe place, right?”

He drops his hand, crosses his arms over his chest. “Right.”

“I’ll bring them through the alley,” you tell him. “Same as yesterday. Then through the empty warehouse and to the gate.”

Nick just nods.

“I’ll see you later,” you say, grabbing your jacket, and you’re gone.

You take the same path you’d used the day before, stopping at one of your caches to grab the bat from where you’d stashed it, a backpack with supplies. Your adventuring gear.

Ten miles feels like twenty. The caffeine gives you a bit more pep in your step, and you’ve always travelled faster on your own, but you haven’t felt this antsy since outbreak day. Your heart hammers with every step, the bat a heavy weight at your back, hands curled around the straps of your backpack.

Joel is alive.

It pushes your feet faster, but makes the guilt rise in your stomach just as quick. You shouldn’t have let Nick take you to bed, shouldn’t be asking him for something like this, but there’s no one else you can ask. No one else you trust. 

The Joel you find now might be a completely different one. Tommy’s words ring out in your ears, when he’d told you about Sarah, about what happened that night.

“It broke him.”

Part of you has been broken since you left Austin. Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope somewhere in here, maybe you can put each other back together, live, survive.

Maybe.

The guilt simmers thickly. You should have told Nick who it was, who you wanted brought inside. But would his answer have been the same, if you admitted it? He’s pressed a bit, over the years, asking for tidbits of your past, trying to muddle your story together. You’ve stayed tight-lipped with him, but Deanna knows exactly how much gin to give you to loosen your lips, and you have no doubt she’s passed some information along. Not that you can blame her; she loves you both, and she’s still not sold on what you’re doing with Nick. 

“You’re gonna get that boy killed one of these days,” she said one night. A job went slightly awry and you came back with a black eye, the bat caked in Infected blood, Nick half carrying you up the stairs to Deanna’s place. “You can’t keep getting him involved.”

“I know.”

You did. You do. But life is about resources, now. It’s who you know, what you have, what information you can use against someone if you need to. It’s a lethal combination, in every sense, and that’s just behind the walls, never mind what lies beyond.

You know you shouldn’t use Nick. You know you’re just going to hurt him, at the end of the day, but it was never supposed to go this far. You know he feels more than you do, and part of you still wants to feel what he feels, to give him something in return for all these years but—

Joel is alive.

Broken or not, that changes everything.

As soon as Tommy said Cumberland Farms, you knew exactly where you were going. It’s a halfway point, of sorts. You’ve done a handful of deals there, have some supplies stashed beneath the tiles. It’s long deserted, looted to shit and half boarded up, but there’s usually something interesting lurking around.

But you’re definitely not expecting what you find.

There’s a truck at one of the gas pumps, the hood popped and the battery long gone. The door is cracked open, and when you get a little closer, you see them, standing in the window.

The woman — who you assume must be Tess — stands with her back to you, light-brown hair visible through the glass. There’s an arm slung around her waist, a hand fisted in the back of her jacket, and everything in you goes still.

Joel.

He’s standing in front of her, saying something, his lips forming words you can’t discern. Your mind is blank, taking in every detail you can, rebuilding the picture of him in your mind, a combination of your memory and your vision, the differences sussing themselves out.

He looks older. There’s a bit more grey in his beard than you remember, the lines on his forehead deeper. A ratty, camel-coloured jacket, a few buttons on the flannel he’s wearing undone. Tess puts her hand on his chest, his bare skin, and when she leans in, your heart drops into your stomach, knees nearly dropping out from under you.

They’re together.

Thanks for the fucking warning, Tommy.

It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself, tightening your grip on the bat, breathing slowly. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he’s alive.

Then Joel’s eyes flick up, staring straight through the glass. Straight at you.

You see it, on his lips.

“Liv?”

You’re frozen in place. The world has melted away completely. The bat falls out of your hands, the metal singing as it bounces off the pavement. He disappears from the window, Tess turning to see what he saw, and a moment later, he’s bounding through the door, bee-lining for you, nearly sprinting across the lot to where you’re standing. He’s saying your name like a prayer, over and over and over again.

He grabs you so hard your boots slide on the asphalt. The breath is knocked from your lungs, something hot and desperate making a home in your belly as he pulls you into him. You go willingly, throwing your arms around his middle as he wraps his around your shoulders. He’s solid against you, heartbeat hammering against your chest, as quick as your own. The scent of him is slightly different, more earthy, almost darker, but it’s still Joel.

He pulls back after a moment, holding you at arm’s length, one hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes raking over every inch of you. “You’re alive,” he breathes out, a surprised laugh in his tone, and you just nod, the words refusing to leap off your tongue. Joel hugs you back against him. “You’re alive.”

You just nod, tears filling your eyes, holding him close, holding the back of his jacket in an iron grip. Please don’t make me let go, please don’t make me let go, please don’t make me—

Joel pulls back again, his brow pinched, confusion in his eyes. “How did you—”

“Tommy,” you answer quickly, moving your grip to his bicep as his grip your shoulders. “He’s in Boston, in the QZ. I left him at my place; I didn’t wanna take any chances.”

“He made it?” Joel asks, and you nod.

“Joel,” you say, your voice low, feeling a tear slip down your cheek as you say it. God, his name feels strange on your tongue. When was the last time you said it out loud? You squeeze his arm. “Tommy told me…” You pause, breathe deep. “About Sarah. Joel, I’m so sorry, I just—”

You regret the words, the second they’re out of your mouth.

It’s like a flip has been switched. He drops his hands, and his expression goes with them. You watch the mask fall into place, hard and unreadable, shutting you out in an instant. There’s suddenly three feet of space between you, and he turns away as Tess walks out of the gas station, calling his name.

“What’s going on?” she asks, confusion on her face, coming to a stop beside Joel. She juts her chin towards you. “Who’s this?”

“She’s…” Joel starts, but loses the words. He looks at you again, something you barely recognize in his eyes. Again, he turns away, hands on his hips, his back to you.

“I’m Liv,” you offer, holding your hand towards Tess. She stares at it for a second before taking it. “You must be Tess.”

“I am.”

“Tommy sent me,” you say, and that seems to soften her slightly. She’s pretty; big green eyes, pouty lips, tall, and she looks every bit the badass Tommy had described. “I’m an old friend.”

Her gaze slides to Joel, who has distanced himself further, putting even more space between you. Tess, thankfully, doesn’t do the same. “I gathered that.”

You push your tongue against your teeth, resisting the urge to yell at Joel. Why did you have to say it? Why couldn’t you have waited, maybe? At least got them into the QZ before you shattered whatever was still tethering you two together.

“How do you know each other?” Tess asks.

You search for the words. Do you give the truth, right off the bat? Has Joel ever mentioned you to her? Why did you have to say it? “It’s a long story,” you finally manage, eyes snagging on Joel’s back. The guilt you’d already felt over Nick has tripled, a solid lead weight in your stomach. “Doesn’t matter. We should get going.” Tess opens her mouth to protest, but you hold up a hand. “Tommy told me about Baltimore. It’s fine, I took care of it; you’ll get in, no problem.”

Joel whirls then, his eyes bright, jaw set. He’s angry. You almost flinch. “What did you do?”

“It’s nothing,” you reply quickly, your brows pulling down. Some fucking reunion. “Don’t worry about it.”

“What did you—” he starts again, taking another step, but Tess’s hand flashes out, smacking him in the chest, and he freezes.

“Relax, would you?” she nearly sneers, and you raise a brow. “She’s helping us.”

Joel stares at you. Long and hard, those dark eyes impossibly darker, making a chill snake down your spine. You barely recognize him. It doesn’t matter, you try to convince yourself, bending to pick up the bat. He’s alive, that’s all that matters. You knew things wouldn’t be the same. Things couldn’t be the same.

You look away from him, feeling his gaze follow you as you turn on your heel, heading back towards the road.

“Let’s go.”

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#my fics #strawberry wine #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us spoilers #joel miller x oc #joel miller x liv stone

[offside-the-lines]

Am I Ready (To Be Loved) | Nathan MacKinnon

Summary: Nate is not known to be impulsive, especially when it comes to love. So what happens when he gets a crazy idea while hungover the day after the Avalanche Stanley Cup parade. a/n: Happy Holidays folks! My first fic back (on this new blog) is a reworking of a fic I wrote for my Winter Prompt request last year (for @fallinallincurls). Thought I needed to start somewhere. This is obviously set in 2022 because I can't stand the idea of the avs squad being different. It also features some of our fave tropes. Pairing: Nathan McKinnon x Female!OC Words: 8K Warnings: alcohol Requests: Open | Masterlist

Charlotte hated these fancy functions. The schmoozing and the small talk were things that made her feel like she was going to crawl out of her skin. No matter how much she would normally enjoy conversation, this just felt fake. And she knew how ridiculous it was. She worked in media. She was always in front of cameras. She took this job knowing this was a requirement. It doesn’t change the truth that, at her core, she would rather be on the couch watching some TV show on Netflix.

Although this wasn’t the first formal event she’d ever been to, this was the first Colorado Avalanche donors’ function. It didn’t help that she had only been working as a correspondent for Altitude TV for a few months; so many knew her name and her face, but no one really knew her personally. So, it was just smile, small talk, comment on the Avs, rinse and repeat.

After an hour or so of this, she was feeling done. Heading to the bar for a drink and found a cocktail table in the corner of the room, tucked near the obscenely large Christmas Tree, where she could just stand and watch. Charlotte looked around the room and wondered how long she had to stay before it was not inappropriate to leave.

“Hate these parties too, eh?” a familiar voice rang beside her.

Despite her shattered solitude, the voice brought out a smile on her face. “What do you mean? I don’t hate this?” she replied, not putting in much effort to hide the sarcasm in her voice. She turned to face the voice and the sight almost startled her a little as she felt her face warm. There stood Nathan Mackinnon in his perfectly tailored navy suit, eyes shining in the dim lighting. She takes a drink quickly to distract herself, reminding herself to be a professional.

“Sure,” he chuckled, “hiding in a dark corner isn’t avoiding the party, Charlotte.”

She shrugs as she turns her eyes back to the party.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers in her ear, making her neck tingle a little, “I really don’t like these parties either. I would rather be at home on the couch with my dog watching TV.”

As he leaned back to sip his drink, she turned to him in surprise. “Oh yeah? Like what? More hockey tape?”

After a bit of light banter, they find that they have the same favorite show, much to Charlotte’s surprise. In the dim corner of a fancy event, they are quoting their favorite lines to each other, trying their hardest not to burst out laughing, hiding themselves behind their drinks so as to not draw too much attention at such a fancy event. Charlotte’s laughing so hard she snorts a little, causing Nate to look at her in surprise before continuing to laugh even harder, drawing some looks from the donors and teammates closest to them. After a while, when they both finally calm down, she feels herself relax a little.

They stood in a comfortable silence for a few more moments before Nate spoke up again. “You know, Charlotte. You ask me questions all the time, but I don’t think I really know anything about you other than your name and your job title.”

“I mean, I only really ever ask you questions about the game or the team,” she responds.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you already know everything there is to know about me,” he said pointedly, but softly. He had a point; it was her job to know as much about the players as possible.

“Okay, I know about NHL Hockey Player, Avs’ Center, Forward Extraordinaire Nathan “Nate the Dogg” Mackinnon,” she says, flashing her hands in front as if to signal an imaginary banner, “I don’t know Nate “a dude who sits on his couch with his dog watching dumb shows” Mackinnon.”

“Alright, that’s fair,” he responds deep in thought. “Fine, how about we play 20 questions? You ask me a question; I ask you a question.”

“How very high school, Nathan,” she pauses to think about it. She wasn’t really sure how to feel about this new friendship. On the one hand, it is her job to get to know the players. Although, she was pretty sure that the fraternizing was only supposed to be in professional contexts. On the other hand, her heart was beating so hard that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. And at the end of the day, it was Nathan Mackinnon, and he wanted to get to know her. Besides, she knew that he didn’t really date anyway, so she felt safe that there was one of them keeping their feelings in check. Eventually, she responds with a nod, “Sure.”

“Okay!” He said excitedly, his blue eyes lighting up, “Where are you from? Where did you grow up and go to college and stuff?”

“Nathan, that’s two questions. Should I deduct points from you?”

“There are points now?”

“I’m just kidding.”

And so, they went back and forth getting to know each other, talking animatedly, and laughing heartily, until they got through the 20 questions each. At one point, they had migrated to a table to continue sitting down because Nate noticed she was shifting on her feet from the heels. Charlotte was pretty certain that Nate now knew her better than anyone else in Denver.

Eventually, EJ came over and tapped Nate on the shoulder at which point she looked up and realized that most of his teammates and donors had left and they were a few of the last people remaining in the event space.

“Hey,” EJ smiled at you in his signature toothless way, “good to see you’re having fun, Charlotte.”

“Thanks, EJ,” she smiled back.

“Mac Daddy, you’re kind of my ride home, so… are you ready to leave?” EJ said laughing and looked at Charlotte, “I don’t think I’ve ever had to pull Nathan here away from a party before. He is usually begging me to leave.”

Nate bumped his elbow into EJ, not drawing much of a response, as he quickly looked away from her. She could have sworn his cheeks were turning a little pink, but that could also be the lighting.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s late and I want to be up for morning skate tomorrow, unlike you lazy idiots,” Nathan grumbled standing up.

She stood up too, only now realizing how tired you were. “Yeah, damn, it’s late. Well, I had a great time talking to you Nathan,” sending him a warm smile and a nod, “EJ. See you two later.”

As she started walking away, she heard some whispers behind her before Nate called out, “Hey, Charlotte, you good to get home? I mean, do you need a ride?”

“Oh, um… Actually… Sure. That would be nice. Thanks!”

She saw EJ whisper something in Nate’s ear before he was quickly shoved away. Suddenly feeling awkward, she trailed behind them quietly to Nate’s car. As soon as it was in sight, EJ called shotgun and started making a run for it, slipping a little on the ice, making Charlotte and Nate snort with laughter.

Nate offered a hand to guide her across the slippery ground and opened the car door for her, keeping his hand on her as she climbed in. She directed Nate to her apartment, thanking him and EJ quickly as she left. Once she got into her apartment, Charlotte leaned against the door and just smiled for a bit.

*          *          *

Meanwhile, in the car, EJ was basically yelling at Nate.

“Dude, you dog, what was that?”

“EJ, stop.”

“No, I’m serious. I’ve never seen you talk to someone for that long. Not even Barrie or Sid.”

“She was easy to talk to. And it was a good way to get through the event.”

“Nate, don’t give me that bullshit.” EJ’s voice is rarely serious, but it is now.

“I don’t know what to tell you, dude.” Nate shrugged.

The rest of the ride to EJ’s house is quiet and as Nate pulled into the driveway, EJ finally spoke up again, “Tell me you at least got her number.”

“Shit,” Nate let out under his breath before he could stop himself.

“Oh my god, you idiot. You didn’t get her number.”

Nate let out a groan and tapped his forehead firmly on his steering wheel in frustration. As EJ shook his head, and said his goodbyes, Nate’s head was whirring with thoughts. There was no smooth way to ask for her number now. It’s like he missed an exit on the freeway and there was no way off now. The alcohol and the adrenaline meant he didn’t sleep much that night and, for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t make it to the optional morning skate, much to the surprise of everyone.

The rest of the season flew by as the team soared through the playoffs. Nate kept thinking about ways to ask Charlotte for her number but just couldn’t stop overthinking it and psyching himself out; eventually deciding to table the topic until after the season was over to focus on the Cup. But he reveled in every intermission or postgame interview where they got to talk, or the little conversations they would get to have in the arena or on the plane. Occasionally, he’d even slip in a hug, taking in her perfume, under the guise of celebration.

The gossip had now spread through the group — not surprising since EJ has never once kept a secret — and had been an ongoing chirp for Nate. It didn’t help that at the two galas since, Nate was the first one there excitedly scanning the room, but Charlotte wasn’t at either. He’d learn she was covering the Nuggets or the Rapids those nights and would then leave as early as possible.

It got even harder to not think about her as he neared the end of the season, where every phone call with his mom would eventually turn to his cousin’s wedding in the summer and whether he was going to bring a date. Family weddings were the one time he felt he couldn’t leave early, forcing himself to endure the suffering that was being single in your late twenties and watching people be in love. Not to mention all the comments and questions: wanting gossip, wanting a date, feeling sorry for him.

*          *          *

Charlotte was happy with the casual platonic friendship that she had found with Nate. She always looked forward to talking with him at games because he was always more relaxed with her than the other boys, even occasionally giving her a sweaty hug after a good, exciting win. Her co-workers had made some comments about how unusual it was, but she just chalked it up to them knowing each other better now.

The job kept her busy, busier than anticipated. And it felt like the year had flown by before she found herself at the celebration gala for the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions. The atmosphere was different from the last event she had been to. That one was for schmoozing. This was only for celebrating. The energy in the room was intoxicating and she had a big smile plastered to her face as soon as she walked in.

Charlotte made her way through the crowd and congratulated everyone she saw and recognized. Eventually, she stumbled into Gabe.

“Congratulations, Gabe!” you yelled.

“Lotteee! Thank you!” he yelled back, pulling her in for a tight hug before spinning her around. He was so drunk, but he did look unbelievably happy. When he finally put her down, he grabbed her by the arm and very dramatically whispered in her ear while pointing, “Nate’s that way.”

She looked at him confused and surprised, but he didn’t let her say anything before not so gently pushing her towards Nate. And she didn’t protest, because when she finally saw him, she felt her heart speed up again. He looked jubilant, swaying slightly with EJ, face pink and hair messy. She had learned over the last month or so that she really liked the way he looked with the playoff beard.

Charlotte wasn’t sure whether to disturb whatever EJ and Nate were doing, but once EJ saw her, he let out a screech so loud she had no choice but to turn toward them. “Charlotte! Lotte! Lott Ness Monster! Come here!” But once you got here, he immediately left, vanishing to leave her standing in front of the very flushed Nathan Mackinnon.

“Hi Nathan, congratulations! Well deserved. It’s been an absolute privilege watching you this season,” she said, unsure what to do as her heart kept racing faster at the way drunk Nate was looking at her.

“Oh, stop with that professional speech and give me a hug,” he slurred, pulling her in tightly.

She chuckled and let herself enjoy the warmth and the firm contours of his body against her before forcing herself to pull away. He only let her get so far, leaving one arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

“It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself at an event like this,” she said softly.

“Well, I had to! You weren’t at the last two of these, so I had to find a way to entertain myself with EJ,” he said, pouting. She had certainly never seen him pout, but she was even more surprised that he noticed and cared.

“Oh! Yeah, I had work. Sorry.”

“I know. Who even cares about the Nuggets.” he mumbled under his breath before throwing his head back and yelling a quick “GO AVS!” that was followed by a loud round of cheers. After a few seconds, he piped up excited again, “Are you enjoying yourself today?”

“Um… I think so! It’s nice to see everyone so happy and energetic.” Her eyes scanned the crowd, smiling until she caught Gabe and EJ staring and pointing at them. Before she had the chance to ask Nate what that was about, he was pulling her towards Mikko on the other side of the room.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of drinks, laughs, and the warm firm feeling of Nate’s arm around her shoulders. With each passing drink, she found herself leaning into it more. She was sure her face was so red that it rivaled JT’s hair. But if the boys noticed, which they were too drunk to notice, they didn’t mention it. And even if they did, she doesn’t remember.

*          *          *

The next morning Nate woke up with the worst hangover of his life. He had collapsed on top of all his sheets fully naked, and so he also woke up with a slight feeling of shame and dread at what he might have done the night before. When he finally reached over to check his phone, it was blowing up with messages.

gabe the babe (INCOMING): dude did nate finally hook up with the lott ness monster

JT (INCOMING): omg nate, you have to tell us if you did

mooseman (INCOMING): he definitely did, did you not see how he literally didn’t stop touching her the whole night

Nate buried his head in his sheets and groaned, trying to rack his brain for memories of himself being an idiot around Charlotte last night. But he was drawing a blank. After minutes, he finally lifted his head again and opened a private text to EJ.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): ej, please tell me you remember if I did something stupid last night

EJ (INCOMING): yeah. you did.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): FUCK what did I do

EJ (INCOMING): you didn’t take lotte home with you you fucking idiot

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): what

EJ (INCOMING): you just fucking disappeared in an uber without even saying goodbye. and EYE had to make sure she got home okay

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): oh, well it could’ve been worse

EJ (INCOMING): HOW

EJ (INCOMING): HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): idk if I did something stupid or said something bad

EJ (INCOMING): dude, you have got to ask her out, you two clearly like each other

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): i have no idea what you’re talking about. we're just friends. we just work together. like you and me

EJ (INCOMING): YEAH RIGHT DOGG if you were touching me all night like that, we would be having a very different conversation ;)

EJ (INCOMING): please tell me you at least have her number now

Nate paused and thought back to the night before, but it was such a blur he didn’t know. But when he looked in his contacts, her number wasn’t there.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): nope

EJ (INCOMING): you are so fucking hopeless. i hope you find a pair at home this summer so you will finally do something about this crush

EJ (INCOMING): or maybe when we come back in the fall, she won’t be so single anymore and it won’t matter

Nate felt his stomach turn and he groaned. The hangover finally hit him but he was typing a sarcastic response when another message interrupted his thought.

Sarah (INCOMING): congrats again bro! are you bringing someone to the wedding?

Nate (OUTGOING): wow, really cutting to the chase this morning.

Nate (OUTGOING): and no.

Sarah (INCOMING): what you’re telling me a stanley cup winner can’t find a date

Nate groaned again and muffled a scream in his pillow. He knew that his sister and mom would not drop this subject from the moment he got home. He knew that they would probably try to set him on dates, or worse introduce him to every single woman at the wedding. He lay there, head on his pillow, for a long time, until finally, he had an absolutely insane idea. An idea that can only come to someone after the happiest day of their life followed by the biggest hangover of their life.

Nate (OUTGOING): fine, I’ll bring someone

Sarah (INCOMING): OH MY GOD WHAT WHO

Sarah (INCOMING): NATHAN RAYMOND MACKINNON IF YOU’VE BEEN DATING SOMEONE THIS WHOLE TIME AND HIDING IT FROM ME, I’LL KILL YOU. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU’VE WON.

Nate (OUTGOING): nope, not telling

Sarah (INCOMING): you are a child and i hate you

Nate (OUTGOING): I love you. See you soon.

Sarah (INCOMING): URGH

Sarah (INCOMING): Love you too. I’m calling mom.

*          *          *

Charlotte woke up with a splitting headache and the room spinning at 6 am. And despite how horribly she felt, she couldn’t get back to sleep. She could still feel Nate’s arm on her shoulder, and his lips against her ear as he whispered something unintelligible, and the scent of his cologne lingering on her hair would waft into her memory every few seconds making her heart skip. She was absolutely certain that he was more drunk than she was, and that he was a touchy drunk. She felt even a little guilty for taking advantage of his touchiness, getting as much as she could last night.

After a few hours of being unable to get back to sleep, she peeled herself up and drew herself a bath with a cup of tea. She still wasn’t able to stomach food yet, but she felt her body relaxing in the warm water, finally letting Nate slip from her mind. Eventually, she got up and padded around the house thinking about the long summer ahead. It was her first summer with not a lot of work to do, and since it was her first year in Denver, she also didn’t really know many people or have any concrete plans.

She had just sat down at her computer to research ideas when she heard a buzz on her apartment intercom. She looked down at her phone confused, but there were no texts there from the few friends she had made so far.

“Hello?” she stutters cautiously into the intercom.

“Oh my god, thank fuck,” a familiar voice rang back, “it’s you. I’ve been buzzing every apartment and I swear your neighbors think I’m a crazy person.”

“What?”

“Um. Oh. Sorry, Charlotte. It’s Nate.”

She was stunned silent. Stunned and confused.

“Um… Nathan Mackinnon…” He filled the silence nervously, “You know… From the Avalanche.”

That snapped her out of her trance as a laugh bubbled out of her. “Oh my god Nathan, I know who you are. Sorry. I was just confused. How do you know where I live?”

“Um, well when we first met, I dropped you off here. So, I made the gamble that you still lived here and just buzzed every apartment to see.”

“Oh. Wow,” she says, stunned, confused and flattered, “Um, is everything okay?”

“Ah, yeah.” He paused. “You know, I just realized how dumb this was. I’m really sorry to disturb you—”

“No!” she says louder than she intended, “No, Nathan, wait. Let me buzz you up.”

“Oh, okay, yeah! Thanks!”

She paced around her entryway, thoughts racing. The door knocks still startled her, and as she walked over, she looked down at her sweatpants and realized there definitely was no time to change and prayed she looked okay.

“Hi, Nathan,” she smiled, opening the door, “Um, do you want to come in?”

“Oh, sure,” he hesitates and makes a gesture to hug her before chickening out, pulling away and stepping past her.

“So, what brings you to my humble abode today?”

“Your apartment is cute.”

“Thanks. It’s not NHL superstar level, but it’s pretty good to me.”

He chuckles and leans a hip on the kitchen island, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His eyes were firmly trained on the ground. She wasn’t really sure what to say, so she moved behind him to start making them both some tea. He studies her as she moves around and wonders how it’s possible she looks so good in your sweatpants and messy bun when he feels like his entire guts might just drop out of his body.

Eventually, he spoke up, “Um, so I realized I didn’t have your number.”

This made her laugh, a proper belly laugh. “What,” she manages to get out, “you came all the way here because you don’t have my number.”

“Well…” he hesitates, “Yeah. I mean, I never asked for it I guess.”

“Okay, do you want it now?” she was still laughing.

“Um, yes?” He was shifting on his feet, rubbing his neck with his hand, leaning awkwardly on the countertop.

“Okay,” she reached a hand out.

He looks at her confused and gives it a slap.

“That was for your phone, silly. Not for a five,” she was laughing even harder now. And his cheeks turned bright red as he handed her his phone, not meeting her eyes. She passes the phone back to him along with a cup of tea, “There you go. So… What was the huge rush? You could’ve emailed me or something for it.”

He paused and laughed, “Honestly, I didn’t even think of that. I guess my brain doesn’t work very well when I’m hungover.”

Charlotte took a seat next to him on the kitchen island as they sipped their teas.

After a few minutes, he clears his throat. “Actually, that’s not why I came over. I mean it, but it isn’t the main reason.”

“Okay?” she encouraged.

“I had a really stupid idea and it was stupid at the time, but now I’m here it’s even dumber. So, I’ll just settle for the number.”

“Okay, Nathan, you can’t just say something that cryptic and not tell me.”

His face went bright red again and he shuffled in place. “No, it’s okay.”

“Okay, no. You don’t get to interrupt my hangover recovery and not tell me why.”

He sighed and looked away. After a while, he mumbled under his breath very quickly, “Fine. Icameheretoaskyouifyou’dcometomycousin’swedding.”

“What?” she said, not sure if she misinterpreted the mumbles or if she was dreaming.

“Um… Well, my cousin, back in Nova Scotia, is getting married in a few weeks. And my mom and sister keep bothering me to bring someone. And I just had this stupid idea. Because you’re the only person I’ve had fun with at those big events. So, this morning, in my post-Stanley Cup alcohol delirium I thought Hey, I should ask Charlotte if she wants to help me survive a social event and get my parents off my ass about not having a date? So here I am. But obviously, that was insane. So don’t worry about it.”

Charlotte looked at him, mouth open, in shock for longer than acceptable, and felt her own cheeks redden. A little lightheaded, before she could really stop to think, she responded, “Sure! I mean why not? What’s the harm in me going? I don’t have any plans.”

His head snapped up to meet her eyes for the first time in a few minutes and Charlotte is captivated by the way his sharp blues light up in response. It was when she saw the smile take over his face and her heart sped up that she knew this was probably a huge mistake. But a mistake she didn’t want to take back.

*          *          *

“So, how long have you two cuties been dating?” the fifth person in a row asked. Charlotte wasn’t sure if this was an aunt or a family friend, but she forced the smile back on her face as she responded.

“Oh, we’re not dating. We work together, kind of.”

The lady looked between the two of them, and Charlotte could feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickle again as she was acutely aware of Nate’s hand resting on her lower back.

“She’s here as my date, yes, but we aren’t dating. We’re just good friends,” he replies gently but firmly, the same way he had been doing all weekend, before changing the subject.

But she was lost in thought. She had been here for a few days, and she had to admit that Nova Scotia was beautiful, and Nate’s family and friends were wonderful. Despite not knowing Nate super well, she had never felt out of place. He had always made sure she was included in conversations, explaining anything that felt like an inside joke. She thought back to all the times she had met a boyfriend’s family — there hadn’t been that many, but enough to know that this was far better than any of them did.

Nate had been awkward and hesitant at first, jumping away every time he touched her by accident on the plane ride over and flinching when their knuckles brushed when he went to help her grab her luggage. But he slowly allowed himself to loosen up a little, reading her lack of discomfort as a good sign. He always prided himself on acting like a gentleman; even though women complained that he was stiff and unromantic, he tried. He found himself putting in an extra effort to hold open the door for her, to pull out a chair for her, to offer an elbow as she walked on the uneven pavement.

If Nate was in his head about every move he made, Charlotte was ten times more in her head. They had only really spent time together at work and work functions. And she wasn’t sure if that’s why something felt different here, more intimate, or if she was just imagining it. She was starting to feel like he was going out of his way to touch her; laying a hand on her knee when they were sitting next to each other, tapping her elbow to show her something, keeping a hand on her back when they were standing.

She had tried her hardest not to lean into his touch every time, but she couldn’t deny the comfort his large hand on her back felt—god, was his hand always this large. It was never too low as to be intrusive; just resting chastely on her mid back to remind her that he was there and was ready to take a break from the socializing at any point.

Whether she was imagining it or not, it was starting to drive her insane. Her skin constantly felt buzzing and hot, tingling in the places he touched, electrified in the places closest to him that craved his touch.

Nate’s low voice in her ear startled her out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?” she responded as she felt her neck and ear flush with the brush of his lips on her ear.

“Oh, I was just asking if you want to go for a walk,” he murmured, “you’re looking a little overwhelmed.”

“Yeah, sure,” she breathed, her voice coming out a little shaky with how close his tall frame was to her.

And so, she reached out and took his extended elbow as they slipped out of the rehearsal dinner and wandered down to the waterfront in silence.

“I can totally see why you love it here,” she finally said.

“Hmm?” he hummed.

“It’s beautiful. The water. With the lights reflecting. And all the beautiful trees. And the fresh air. I can understand why you love coming here in the summer.”

“Yeah, it’s truly something,” he looked over at her with an unreadable expression on his face, but his eyes were warm and soft. It looked like he wanted to say something for a second before he shook his head and looked away. “I’m glad you came with me. You make these big events bearable.”

“Just bearable, Nathan?” she laughed, trying to break the tension in the air she couldn’t really explain. And his chuckles were quick to join hers in the warm summer air.

And just like that, they fell into a comfortable rhythm again, laughing and chatting. Eventually, he walked her back to the hotel and their adjoining rooms.

“Well, here you go, m’lady,” he joked, letting his arm fall from her for the first time in a while. He began to turn towards his room but hesitated for a second before turning back and pulling her into a tight hug. She let herself melt into the hug, embracing the warm buzzing feeling in her chest as she felt his larger frame engulf her. He didn’t let go when she thought he was going to, instead whispering in her ear, “Thank you.”

“Thank me for what, Nathan?”

“For coming with me. For being so good with my family, even though they keep asking intrusive questions. For just being you,” he said, pulling back. They were standing so close together that she could see every shade of blue in his eyes as they looked at her intently. She swore she saw his eyes flicker to her lips briefly before the smallest sharp intake of breath he tried to hide as he untangled from her. She could feel her body ache a little as her cheeks burned.

She didn’t know if it was the glasses of wine or the dizzying tension, but before she could stop herself, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course, Nathan,” she murmured, “good night.” She smiled as she turned away and opened her hotel room door as quickly as possible.

She didn’t dare to take a peek back at him, but if she had, she would have seen his eyes wide, and cheeks flushed in shock. Instead, she quickly ducked into the room, shutting the door behind her, leaning back against the cold wood, and closing her eyes. What the fuck am I doing, she said to herself, Nate is a sweet guy, who I work with. I’m just doing him a favor. And he clearly thinks I’m just a good friend, as he keeps saying to everyone. Get it together.

She walked away and started getting ready for bed. It took her a long time to fall asleep that night, tossing and turning as her mind raced through the moments of the day, all the little touches and glances and the sparkle in Nate’s blue eyes.

 *         *          *

The following day was the wedding, and the morning passed comfortably despite neither of them acknowledging the moment they both wanted to talk about so badly. Soon, she found herself sitting beside him in the church, watching the beautiful bride stand next to her adoring groom.

While the ceremony went on, Nate was having a hard time staying out of his thoughts as the celebrant talked about love and marriage and as the happy couple exchanged adoring words with each other. It was not that he hated weddings, not at all; in fact, he loved them. He loved the celebration and the emotion. But as the years went on, it became a stunning reminder of what he did not have. With every wedding and every failed relationship in between, he felt more alone, like maybe something was wrong with him.

Charlotte noticed that Nate seemed emotional, lost in his thoughts. She had no idea what was going through his mind, but she could sense that he was troubled. At some point during the ceremony, when Nate found himself particularly emotional, he had reached his hand over and grasped hers. She had to try hard to hold back the small gasp that threatened to escape her lips. But seeing his troubled expression, she squeezed his hand. And, inexplicably to her, his hand never left hers, not during the rest of the ceremony, or the walk over to the cocktail hour space. He only reluctantly let go to help her to her seat once they got to the reception.

Although they both enjoyed the reception food, they had both been so deep in their own thoughts that their conversation with the table was stilted and almost awkward. Eventually, as the night wore on, and the gentle fuzz of liquor started to take over, they both started to relax. Nate, after starting and stopping for almost 15 minutes, finally asked her to dance; his heart rate racing as she excitedly nodded yes.

Which is how they found themselves on the dancefloor for over an hour. At first, it was awkward. They were standing a foot apart, dancing independently; she, laughing at Nate’s horrible dance moves, and Nate, feeling electrified by the way her body moved. Eventually, they got closer and closer together until they were swaying in each other’s arms to some horrible Mariah Carey song, making snide remarks in each other’s ears and not caring how obnoxiously loud they were laughing at the jokes.

A few drinks later, their inhibitions were lowered enough that she found herself with her back against him. His arms wrapped firmly around her waist as she leaned into his warm, towering figure. Both of them were no longer sure if they were intoxicated by each other or the drinks, but they did not really care. After they were grinding to a Doja Cat song, she swore she felt something press against her back, but she was not sure as Nate swiftly excused himself to use the bathroom.

And that’s how she found herself at the bar by herself.

“Nate really likes you, you know?” she heard a voice say beside her. When she looked over, she saw his mom giving her a knowing glance.

“Oh, Mrs. Mackinnon, we’re just friends,” Charlotte managed to choke out, despite feeling her throat tighten.

“I know, sweetie, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be more there,” she smiled, laying a soft hand on her forearm. She had never felt herself sober up faster.

“I appreciate that, but we do work together,” she strained.

“Please, call me Kathy,” she continued, not acknowledging Charlotte’s weak protest. And when she did not respond, Kathy added, “You know, I’ve met a number of his girlfriends, and he had never looked at them the way he looks at you. Or even treated them the same way. He’s barely left your side since you got here.”

“Kathy, I’m sure that’s not true. You have raised an amazing son. I’m sure he is just as kind to anyone.” She could feel her cheeks feel heat as she started scanning the room, desperate for Nate’s return.

“Sweetheart,” Kathy spoke softly, “I have been married for many years. There is only one reason a person looks at someone the way he looks at you, and that’s love. If you feel the same way, you should tell him. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.”

She smiled as her husband came to stand next to her; and before Charlotte could protest again, she gave her a gentle hug before walking away, leaving her standing there with her head spinning at her words.

Charlotte gripped the edge of the bar and downed her drink in one go once the bartender handed it to her, earning an eyebrow raise. She jumped and let out a little squeak when she felt a warm hand press into her back.

“Woah, it’s just me,” Nate joked before he met her eyes and his brows furrowed, “are you okay?”

“Um, yeah,” she croaked out stiffly.

“Are you sure?” he stepped in closer which only made her stiffen more, “You seem… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable?”

“What?” she tried to say calmly, although it came out an octave too high, “What makes you say that? Nope. I’m fine.”

He furrowed his brow more and leaned back, confused, before removing his hand from her back and stuffing them in his pockets. There was a twinge of sadness in his eye as he looked around, unsure what to do. “Okay, then. Do you want to go back on the dance floor? Or I guess not. We could sit back at our table?”

“Yeah,” she said awkwardly, finding a normal tone again, “Table sounds good.”

They sat in silence for a bit, just watching the other guests dancing, both deep in thought. She was stuck thinking about what Nate’s mom had said. If she thought about it, she could totally understand why an outside observer would see their relationship as something more than friends. But if Nate had feelings for her, why did he so insistently refer to her as his “good friend”? And even if he did like her, she wasn’t sure about the implications for her job. Was she going to get fired? Probably not, if she was upfront with HR. But she was new to the city and relatively new to the field. What if people started to see her as the girl who ‘goes for the stars’ or the girl who’s ‘just here to get in some rich athlete’s pants’. She had worked too hard not to be taken seriously now. And maybe if things worked out, it would eventually blow over. But if it didn’t work out… If it didn’t work out, she wasn’t sure what would happen, but she felt it would be bad.

Meanwhile, Nate was panicking; combing through every moment of the evening, trying to find where things went wrong. He was finally feeling like he had an idea of how she felt. Like maybe if he told her his feelings, she would reciprocate. Did he go too far with the dancing? Was Drunk Nate too caught up in the moment and did something inappropriate and unwanted? Nate was never much of a verbal processor — he preferred to stew on things first, —  and maybe it was the remnants of the alcohol lingering in his system but he felt the words trying to bubble up in his chest. He didn’t even know what the words would be; maybe words to explain how he felt about her, to make sure he didn’t do something wrong, to make sure she was okay.

When she finally felt the grip on her chest loosen and the thoughts begin to slow a little, she snuck a quick glance at Nate. His jaw was set firm, and brows furrowed. He was staring into the crowd on the dancefloor, but he was clearly not watching them. He looked tense, and she could see the panic she felt reflected on his face. She found herself reaching out and taking his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze; a move that clearly surprised him as he jumped a little before smiling and relaxing into it.

“Nate, I’m actually getting kind of tired. I’m thinking of heading back to the room. Did you want to stay longer?” she said gently.

He squeezed her hand back and gave her a small smile, although the worry hadn’t left the contours of his face yet, “No, I’m actually ready to head back too. Come on.” He pulled her onto her feet.

They took the ten-minute walk back to the hotel in relative silence, tethered together by their interlocked hands. Nate spent the whole walk back planning his speech; he was going to tell her how he felt because he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Holding hands with her just felt so right. But for her, despite how nice it felt, it caused an overwhelming sense of panic to rush back through her. It was nice. It was too nice. It was going to ruin everything.

Stepping out of the elevator, the words escaped her lips before she had the chance to hold them back. “Nate, I think this was a mistake,” her voice was barely above a whisper. He froze beside her and managed to choke out a “What?”

“Nate,” she said, pulling her hand away from him and backing towards her door, “This is giving me a taste of what I can’t have. And this friendship… I don’t think I can do this.”

“What are you talking about?” he replied, still stuck in the spot where she left him, his voice louder than he had intended.

“The touching, the holding hands, the being sweet… It’s too much,” she said, unlocking the door, not meeting his eyes.

“What—” he repeated, his voice cracking at the end. Her mind didn’t process that the pain she felt was echoed in his voice.

She sighed, stepping into the doorway, “I can’t do this, Nate. Because if we keep doing this, I’m going to fall in love with you. And I can’t do that while being your ‘good friend from work’. So, I’m going to bed. Good night.” She finally met his eye as she stepped back to shut the door, barely registering the way his face flickered from hurt to confusion to shock to hope.

Charlotte rested her forehead against the door and let out a shaky breath. She could feel the tears form and slide down her face. She tried to convince herself that it was the right move, but the only thing she could hear in her head was the sound of Nate’s mother’s voice saying ‘Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.’ What if Kathy was right? What if protecting herself from pain was causing more pain itself? What if it would work out? As she stood there, she listened for movement on the other side of the door, but she heard none. Was that hope she saw in his face there? If it was, what did it mean?

Before she could finish the thought, she heard shuffles and a rapid knock on the door that startled her. She didn’t know why, but she opened it without hesitation.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I did something earlier that made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I'm crossing a boundary now but I would never forgive myself if I didn't say this," he said, looking at her with concern. When she nodded, he continued speaking.

He confessed to her that he had never been this person before, love-struck and irrational. He had always been calm, detached, and calculated, but with her, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help being rash, like inviting her to the wedding or reaching out to touch her and be close to her.

She had told him that she couldn't do this because she was scared of falling in love with him, but he revealed that he might already be in love with her. He had been saying that she was just a friend and a colleague because he was scared, but he had never felt this way before and was afraid he would mess it up.

During the wedding ceremony, he looked around at everyone and realized that he had won the Stanley Cup this year, but he still felt off. He kept thinking about her - how her laughter made him want to make her laugh again, how her smile warmed his chest, and how he could still feel the tingle where their skin had touched even after she left.

He admitted that he had never been sure if he had truly been in love before, and maybe this was it. He thought they owed it to themselves to find out because he believed she might feel the same way. He knew it might not be the most rational decision, but it was everything he had to say.

Feeling a shaky breath escape her lips, she heard the voice in her mind, "Don't stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short." For the first time on this trip, she felt her mind still and smiled as she closed the distance between them. With her chest pressed to him, she looked up at him, admiring his soft and nervous blue eyes. She reached up to cup his neck and met him in a kiss.

The kiss was gentle and soft at first, as she chastely felt their bodies slot together; his hands finding her waist, and hers fisting his suit jacket to bring him closer. After not long, she felt Nate run his tongue along her lip and she allowed herself to deepen the kiss, conveying the emotion that was hard to put into words. The feeling of his firm hands against her waist and his muscular body against hers again made her feel as though she were on fire. And she had to admit, she liked this quite a lot. Eventually, they disconnected and rested their foreheads together as they took in the moment.

“So, are you going to say something?” Nate whispered.

 “Yeah, uh, ditto,” she whispered back, giggling slightly.

“That’s it?!” he leaned back in mock horror, “After I poured my heart out, that’s all you have to say?” She could see a smile tugging at his lips.

“Well, I think for the first time in your life, you have spoken enough words for both of us, Nathan,” she laughed as she gave his chin a little pinch, drawing a laugh from him as well. She leaned back in to place another firm kiss on his lips before saying, “I like you a lot too. Like a lot a lot. It scares me. But, as the kids say, you only live once, and I need to stop being scared and just see where this goes because I think I might be in love with you, Nathan, and I need to find out if I am.”

He smiled broadly; it’s the smile she loves, the one where his nose scrunches a little and she can see the genuine happiness on his face. And as their lips rejoined, she slowly started to pull him back into her hotel room.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he says, disconnecting their lips briefly.

“Uh, right now? Sure, I guess,” she raised her eyebrow.

“Why do you always call me Nathan? Everyone always calls me Nate.” The question catches her off-guard and she laughed as she continued dragging him into your room.

“I was trying to remind myself to stay professional and not fall for you,” she laughed as she felt the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed.

“Right…That worked so well, I’ll have to remember that one for the future, Miss Charlotte,” he laughed back before kissing her again so deeply and passionately that she forgot whatever retort was on the tip of her tongue.

#Nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #Nathan mackinnon imagine #Colorado Avalanche imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #avs #Nathan mackinnon fic #Colorado Avalanche fic #avs imagine #avs fic #hockey imagines #rox writes

[sillyrabbit81]

The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood - Part Thirteen

Series Summary: Lori "Babycakes" Tate swore she would never date a biker but when her life is in danger, she is put under the protection of a small club known as The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. She suddenly finds herself attracted to not one, but five bikers.

A reverse harem, biker AU.

Part Thirteen Summary: Lori gets to know Geralt.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC, Walter Marshall x OFC, Mike x OFC, Geralt x OFC, August Walker x OFC

Word Count: Approx. 3k

Warnings:

Series Warnings: Reverse harem, age gap (OFC 23, ages range from 23 to mid 40s), oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, anal sex, group sex, masturbation, praise kink, mentions of body fluids, drug use, recreational drinking, sex work, criminal activities, mention of death, violence, use of weapons, mentions of war, mentions of abuse, angst, fluff, probably a lot more that I will add as they come up.

Part Thirteen Warnings: slight angst, some fluff, discussion of illegal activities (I guess) and perving on Geralt.

Authors Note: Thanks as always to my lovely BBFs (Best Beta's forever) @henryobsessed and @nashibirne .

I am so so so sorry about the delay and thank you all for waiting patiently. I know this is a bit of a slow burn as well, but like most of my stories these days, the smut requires a long build up... I hope you think it will be worth it when it finally cums (ha!).

This chapter and the next will be from Lori's POV. I wrote too much and had to split it into two parts. I think that matters more to me than to anyone else. But I should then be back on track for alternating POVs.

I apologise again for the long delay and I hope you enjoy this part.

Divider made by me. Edited by me, there will be errors. (Probably a lot in this chapter, I apologise)

Masterlist

Parts Masterlist

Part Twelve Part Fourteen

Lori 

My mind swarmed with thoughts that stung the deepest parts of my heart. I should never have slept with Sy; I knew he would pull me back into a life I had told myself I would never go back to. I stupidly allowed myself to develop feelings for the very type of men who would set me hurtling straight down that path. How could I have ever thought the Brothers were different? Underneath the veneer of attractive looks and pretty words, the Brothers were just like the men Nate had surrounded himself with. I had been a fool to expect anything else from them.

However, I could not deny that despite everything, it felt right being with Sy, I felt safe in Marshall’s arms, and even Mike’s sweetly hesitant kiss had made my heart skip a beat. What I had felt with the Brothers was real, it had to be. It didn’t make sense otherwise. If all they had wanted was quick fuck, surely they would not have been so respectful. I know how these things go, they would have got me drunk and taken advantage of me at the first opportunity.

Frustratingly, I could not make heads or tails of the situation. I tried to put it out of my head and for a while I tried to read the book I took from Marshall, but the words seemed to swim on the page. 

Eventually I gave up and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. Hopefully the Brothers had something in their fridge other than beer. I prayed for some ice-cream, some cookie dough or even a tub of frozen yoghurt; anything sickly sweet that I could stuff myself with while I lost myself in some reality television.

Putting on my last pair of jeans, I folded Sy’s shirt and slipped it under my pillow; I didn’t want it to get dirty and have to wash what little of Sy’s smell was left on it. Even as I had the thought, I realised how pathetic it was to have so hastily attached myself to Sy. Then just as quickly, I remembered my conversation with Walter and my empty stomach churned on itself.

Don’t think about it.

The only clean shirt I had left was my pyjama tank top. It was a little tight and was probably a bit provocative considering I wasn’t wearing a bra, but it would have to do.

I took the rest of my washing to the laundry, going through the kitchen, hoping it was empty.

It wasn’t. 

Geralt was cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. He was imposing in his black jeans and t-shirt, even whilst doing something as mundane and domestic as stacking a dishwasher. He lifted his gaze and my knees felt weak as his nearly yellow coloured eyes caught mine. He nodded as I rushed past him and quickly dumped my clothes into the wash.

“Hungry?” he asked as I came back into the kitchen.

“Yes,” I managed to croak out.

“What do you normally have for breakfast?”

“Coffee and either cereal or eggs.”

“Sit,” Geralt said in his gravelly tone. “There’s some scrambled eggs left over, I can heat them up in the microwave.”

“That’s ok, I can do it.”

“I insist,” Geralt said, his smile widening. “You’re our guest. I’ll make you a coffee too.”

I sat on a barstool at the island bench and watched as Geralt moved around the kitchen with more ease than I would have expected.

The Brothers had some luxurious appliances, much more than the basic stuff at the clubhouse at home. I wanted to ask him about it, but I still hadn’t gotten my thoughts straight in my mind. Geralt was part of this pact, though he’d hardly said more than five words to me. Watching him now, I struggled to believe it. He wasn’t giving me any signs that he was interested in me beyond being courteous.

He worked in silence, passing me the warmed eggs while the coffee brewed. He made two coffees and sat next to me.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

He hummed and didn’t say anything further while I ate. But I felt his eyes on me while I kept mine firmly fixed on my plate. The eggs were good - probably cooked in butter from the taste - but Geralt’s presence and silence continued to the point where I started to feel uncomfortable.

“Do you guys do your own cleaning?” I asked just to avoid the awkwardness.

“We have cleaners come in once a week, but we do the day-to-day cleaning ourselves.”

Because I couldn’t think of anything else to say I asked, “When are they coming in next?”

“They won’t while you’re here, sweetling. Too risky.”

I frowned. My brother’s club had one of the senior members ex wives come in to do cleaning and cooking each day. The club pays her, but they also have the Probies do a lot of the cleaning up, especially after parties and such. I told Geralt that.

“We’re a small club, we don’t have the types of parties most clubs have and we don’t accept Probies. The only way to probation is by invitation. In five years, Mike’s been the only one we’ve asked.”

“Why? I mean, more members means more strength and more income streams.” 

“We don’t operate like most clubs. Yes, our work isn’t exactly legal, but we don’t run drugs, we don’t operate brothels or get involved in protection rackets and we have no interest in gambling or black market trade of weapons or animals. We advise and consult, make introductions and offer protection. We help set up routes and transportation for drugs, weapons and other such goods, but we never assist with people trafficking or animal smuggling. We keep a low profile, always acting in the background. We charge a fee and don’t take cuts of profits so there is less of a money trail to follow back to us. We work with any club who wants to hire us, and we don’t get involved in turf wars. We have specific skills and come from a background similar to the original biker gangs that cropped up after WW2.”

“So, you were in the army too?”

“No. I was a freelancer who worked for the government.”

“So Sy was Special Forces, Marshall a detective, and you were a mercenary?”

“That sums it up.”

“What about Walker?”

“You’ll have to ask him yourself.”

I huffed. “Fat chance, he hates me.”

Geralt chuckled. “I can assure you he does not, Sweetling.”

I raised my eyebrows. “How do you…” I started but then quickly asked instead, “how did you guys get together?”

Geralt took my finished plate to the sink, rinsed it off and put it in the dishwasher. He stood across the kitchen island from me, one hand on the counter as he finished his coffee. He seemed to be appraising me.

Eventually he spoke again, “I think you should ask Walker about that too.”

“Oh.” I finished my coffee and Geralt held out his hand. I passed my empty mug to him, and he put it in the dishwasher before turning it on.

Geralt stayed on the other side of the island and leaned against the sink, his head slightly tilted as if deep in thought. He was still, unmoving as he stared at me, so I stared back at him.

Like all the Brothers, he was annoyingly attractive, but he also seemed to be a relic, a biker from an era that had long since passed. The leather pants he wore while riding were black jeans today but he was still clad in the same slightly billowy black shirt. His hair was out today, the top half pulled back and held off his face by what looked to be a leather string. Even his tattoos were faded and an older style. Once colourful wolves, dragons, moons and stars covered the skin on his arms where his sleeves were rolled back.

After what felt like minutes of us studying each other, I got frustrated and stood up.

“What are your plans for today?” Geralt asked immediately.

“I don’t know. I suppose I’ll go back to my room. Probably more exciting than being gawked at.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable when I look at you?”

“Looking is one thing. Staring is another. I don’t know why you’re staring.” 

“You’re nice to look at.” Geralt said matter of factly.

I felt my face heating up as his lips curved slightly and the skin around his amber eyes creased.

Geralt ignored my blush and said, “I’m working on a panhead today, a custom job. I’ll be in the workshop if you want to join me.”

“What are you doing to her?” I asked, my interest piqued.

“Her?” Geralt chuckled. “You really did grow up around bikes. I’m installing new brakes and lines.”

I gnawed on my lip as I considered Geralt's offer. I got the impression he didn’t laugh very often. He smirked and grinned a lot, but I had rarely heard him actually laugh. While I still wasn’t over the fact that the Brothers had some sort of agreement between themselves about me, what else did I have to do?

“I have to put my clothes in the dryer first,” I said, eventually. “I’ll meet you there.”

Geralt hummed, seemingly pleased. Then, using his hip, he pushed himself upright and nodded towards me as he left the kitchen with a satisfied grin on his face.

After loading the dryer with my clothes, I was just opening the door to the yard when Mike called out to me.

“Babycakes, wait up!” He came jogging up to me with a big grin on his face and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “G says you’re going to hang out in the shop for a while.” 

“Yeah, I am,” I said, a little coldly. 

“Well, after that, why don’t you come to my room?” Mike laid his hands on my hips and drew me close to him.

I raised my eyebrows. “What for?”

Mike lost his grin and let me go. “Walker said you can order some clothes,” he shrugged, “he wants me to supervise.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling a little bad for being so short with him. I forced a smile. “Yeah. That would be great. Thank you.”

He smiled briefly and turned to go, but I reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Mike, I’m sorry, I…” I floundered a little, not sure what I wanted to say to him.

“You’re good,” he said. He put his hand on the nape of my neck and tapped me on the forehead with his finger. “Got lots going on in there, huh?”

My chin trembled a little as I nodded.

“Look, no pressure okay? Just come, order your clothes and hang out.”

“Okay,” I said, letting myself smile for real. “That would be nice.”

“Great!” He pressed his lips against my cheek then let me go. “I’ll see you later.”

Entering Geralt’s shop filled me with a sweet nostalgia. It was like so many I’d been around as a kid and I began to smile as a tension I didn’t realise I held in my neck seemed to dwindle. It was not slick like the garage; instead it was a little worn from regular use and came complete with a hodgepodge collection of tools that would have taken a lifetime to procure. Although it was clean and tidy, there were stains on the concrete floor, it smelled of grease, sweat. 

Most of all, it felt like home.

Geralt raised his eyebrows when he noticed me. His eyes slid down my body, and he shook his head at my attire.

“My clothes are in the wash,” I explained.

He nodded, went to an old filing cabinet, pulled out a huge pair of overalls from the draw and passed them to me. They were ridiculously big on me and I shook my head as Geralt chuckled at my look. 

“Here,” he said as he placed one of my palms against his chest and began to roll the sleeve up. He kept grinning as he did the same to the other side, but then he reached for his belt.

“What—”

“Take it easy,” Geralt interrupted in that deep growl of his.

He slid the belt out of the loops of his jeans in one fluid motion and wrapped it around my waist, pulling it so tight I had to take an involuntary step closer to him.

“Arms up,” he said, tucking the long superfluous end around the belt a few times until it was secure.

“Thank you,” I said, breathlessly.

Smiling, he jerked his head as if to say ‘follow me’ and headed over to a bike raised slightly off the ground on a jack. He crouched down beside it and without looking up said, “Hand me the ⅜ drive socket…”

For the next few hours we worked together, mostly in silence. I handed him tools, cleaned or sorted parts while he kept working. My hands quickly became filthy and covered in grease, but I felt good, finding the work soothing and satisfying. It was like so many afternoons I had spent with my Dad or Hustle, right down to the soft psychedelic rock music coming through the crackly speakers of an old radio.

As we got close to finishing the job, I looked around the shop and saw a bike like the one I used to have; an old Honda CB250. 

“Who's bike is that?” I asked, pointing to the bike.

“Mine. I picked it up as part of a deal from an old barn sale.”

“I learned to ride on a bike just like that,” I explained, “Mum didn’t want me to learn, so I had to buy my own bike, so something cheap and simple I could fix up on my own was important, you know?”

“It’s a good learner bike,” Geralt agreed.

I walked over to it, running my fingers over the tank, a thick layer of dust and dirt came away revealing the fairly good condition of the bright blue factory paint job.

“Mine was the same colour,” I murmured to myself

“You can have it if you like,” Geralt said from behind me. “You can fix it up. It might help stave off some cabin fever.”

I turned my head and jumped as I found his face mere inches from mine. “I couldn’t.”

“I haven’t tried to start it, but the others I picked up at the same time turned over once I replaced the oil, fuel, and did the usual checks,” Geralt said, ignoring my protest.

“I haven’t ridden in years, let alone repaired a bike. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“I’ll help you.”

“You have a lot of your own stuff to work on.” I looked back at the bike, silently inventorying the amount of work it would need. “It could take weeks.”

“I work when I want to and on whatever I want to.” Geralt put a light hand on my waist and turned me, towards him while undoing my belt. “It’s time to break for lunch, we can start work on it when we get back.”

“I told Mike, I would see him this afternoon.” 

“Will you come back tomorrow and work with me?” Geralt asked as he removed the belt and returned it to his waist, slipping it through the belt loops. “I assume you will spend the night with Marshall again.”

I stiffened. “What's it to you?”

He shook his head, “Thought you might like to spend the mornings with me.”

“I know, you know,” I said. Geralt looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “About the pact.”

Geralt hummed.

“You're not going to say anything?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Do you want me to say something?” he asked, tilting his head in puzzlement.

“Yes,” I exclaimed, unable to hide my exasperation. “You all went behind my back. Why would you think I would agree to that?”

“Because I think it’s what you want too,” Geralt said.

“It's not normal.”

“Do you really want normal, sweetling? You think you want normal because you think it’s what you should want. But you feel at home here. With all of us. With me.”

I didn't answer; I chewed my lip while I tried to think of a way to deny it. But he was right. I didn’t run from the club because I didn’t want to be there anymore. I ran because it wasn’t the club I grew up in, it wasn’t family anymore. These men, these Brothers, for all their faults and infighting were a tight unit; they made the pact to protect themselves and what they had built. 

“I know you’d be happy with us.” 

I gasped as Geralt lifted my chin with the edge of his finger. His amber eyes seemed heavy as they roamed my face and settled on my parted lips. Licking his lips, his hand moved down my throat and I could feel the warmth of his touch reverberate through me.

“Think about it,” he said, his already deep growl sounding rough as gravel. His large firm hand moved to my nape and his fingertips dug into the muscles.

“Are you going to kiss me?” I whispered partly because I wanted him to and partly because I was scared he would.

“I will,” Geralt’s voice was so low, it lulled my mind until my lashes nearly fluttered to a close and I leaned into him. His head dipped until his forehead rested on mine and he inhaled deeply. “But not today, Lori. Not until you’re sure that’s what you want.”

I thought about telling him I was sure, but I was also certain he’d know it for the lie it was. Still, he held me close, his hands drifting slowly down my arms until he took a step back with a sigh.

“Come on,” he said with a lopsided grin. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

He held his hand out, and I slipped mine into it without hesitation.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #captain syverson #syverson fanfiction #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson x ofc #syverson #syverson x ofc #cpt syverson #captain sy #august walker fanfiction #august walker #august walker fic #august walker x ofc #walter marshall #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall x ofc #walter marshall fic #geralt x ofc #geralt of rivia #geralt fanfic #geralt of rivia x ofc #geralt of rivia fanfiction #mike (hellraiser) #mike hellraiser #hellraiser mike #mike hellraiser fic #mike (hellraiser) fic

[ilovehugslikealotalot]

Unexpected Call

Rebecca Welton x Fem!Reader

I just want to say thank you for requesting!

—

Ted, Beard, Roy, Higgins, and y/n were having a little ‘meeting’ they were supposed to be talking about the foul stench coming from Tartt’s under-cubby in his locker. But instead, they dicussed their girl problems and experiences.

“Is Rebecca more of a big spoon? I’d imagine her to be. It’s hard to think she’d be a little spoon, unless she asked to be” Ted wondered a loud, y/n only laughed, “Rebecca? A little spoon? Puh-lease!” she reasoned, leaning agaisnt the closed door of their office. Higgins kept a laugh in while Ted was wheezing, Beard was only smiling. Roy kept his laugh in and only had his signature scowl. The door opened and in came the extrodinary woman they were just talking about, “I heard my name. Something you have to say?” She asked directly looking at Nate, she knew he would crack under pressure. “I- I- uh-…it was y/n!” He confessed, swallowing hard and hiding next to Roy. Y/n scoffed, “did not!” Rebecca raised an eyebrow at her, “mhm” she hummed, her upper lip folding upward slightly.

“I didn’t do anything!” Y/n shrugged, continuing to drink her pineapple juce, Rebecca narrowed her eyes and straightened her lips. Ted, Beard, Roy looked at her and quivered a bit. Though, Roy would never admit that he could be afraid of her when she was angry.

“It was her.”

“Sorry little lady”

“Nope.”

“Apologies”

Y/n was left standing on her own, “Uh! Y’know that’s soo nice!” Y/n sarcastically bopped her head to the side. Rebecca raised her eyebrow, “okay! Okay! It was me!” Rebecca’s lips formed a line, staring y/n down until she was practically sweating.

To y/n’s surprise her phone began to ring, she used it as her advantage to escape, “Oh, sorry, y’know! Duty calls!” She said in a sing-song voice, Rebecca looked at the others and left with a smirk. She had authority around the club and she knew it.

y/n went outside to take the call, it was her mother, “Hey, mom! How’s it going?” She asked, all excited, she hadn’t seen or talked to her mom in quite a while. It was nice to here her voice again. “Hello honey, it’s about…Riley.” She sounded upset, y/n knew what she was talking about but she didn’t accept. It couldn’t happen not now, not when things just started getting better. When she was starting to finally be happy again.

“Oh, what? Did she do good on her chemo? I told you that she’d make a recovery!” Y/n exclaimed, resisting the urge to cry, “she’s gone, honey. Riley’s gone. I don’t have much time but, I’ll call you later, her funeral is next week. You’re flying out right?” Y/n stayed silent, her mouth hanging open. She knew it was gonna happen, yet, it still hit her like a train.

“Yeah, uh, I’ll be there. I’ll hear ya soon” y/n mumbled, hanging up the call, she ran up to Rebecca’s office passing, Roy, Higgins, and Keeley, she completely ignored them and their concerned remarks.

As much as she loved them to, she needed Rebecca right now. Nothing could ever make her feel better than a big warm hug from Rebecca. Y/n burst into her office in tears, Rebecca, who was just finishing up her work looked up to see her distraught girlfriend in tears and sobbing her heart out.

“Oh, darling. What ever is the matter? I know that earlier about you talking about me was a joke so I’m not upset about that if this is what it’s about?” She wrapped her strong arms around y/n and guided her to the couch where y/n cuddled into her chest, sobbing into it she mumbled. “It’s not about that, it’s…” she choked on her sobs, gently, Rebecca wiped her tears away and cooed, “take your time darling, I have all day to listen” y/n looked at her and sniffled, “remember what I told you about Riley?” Y/n went on, Rebecca’s face dropped, “wait, she didn’t…” Rebecca’s words faded away as y/n’s tears came back. “She did..”

————

A week later the team accompanied y/n and Rebecca to Riley’s funeral. Rebecca never left y/n’s side, knowing her girlfriend was fragile at the moment, she didn’t allow her to be alone.

Rebecca finally met y/n’s parents but they had wished it was under better circumstances, they loved Rebecca and the way she treated y/n so it was one heavy worry taken away from y/n.

As the funeral went on, it was time for y/n’s eulogy. She had rehearsed this moment so many times it felt like a memory, now knowing how much time didn’t wait for anyone, she blamed herself for not being there for her best-friend.

stepping up onto the stage she holds back tears, “Riley, she was a- she was a very kind soul. Never once did she leave someone on the streets hungry or not donate to a organization that helped people. She loved- she-“ y/n stopped for a moment, her breathing was unsteady and her body shook, Rebecca left her seat and hugged her tightly, “you’re okay, my love. I’m here, sweetheart. Take your time, Riley would be so proud of you, darling” Rebecca hugged her tightly and let go to let her deliver her speech.

Through the whole thing she held on to her hand, proudly stroking her back as she delivered the eulogy with a heavy heart.

#rebecca welton #we love a girlboss #we love a comforting gf #she’s the best #rebecca welton x reader #ted lasso #hannah waddingham

[thestupidhelmet]

A(nother) Difference Between That '70s Show and That '90s Show.

I've written about depth of characterization before, but I realized today by looking at the T7S circle .gifs by @tht70sblog that the life issues the T9S kids face (save Oz) are nowhere on the same level as those from T7S (S1-S5, at least). This might add to the Disney show feeling people have expressed about T9S.

T7S has very realistic parental neglect and abuse issues and the emotional effects of that childhood wounding. Parents who don't set proper boundaries with their kid, which creates a different cluster of emotional wounding that affects the kid's worldview and behavior. And gives specific details (or the whys) to make all this characterization abundantly clear.

The threat of homelessness at seventeen (several times) and fears of a bleak future. Significant betrayal in teen relationships. A son whose more sensitive nature doesn't fit with his father's idea of masculinity, which has a breadth of consequences (some good, some damaging). A pregnancy scare for a high school sophomore. Teen girls whose gender expression and interests don't fit stereotypes.

The list goes on.

This depth, seriousness, and kind of issues facing the characters of T7S resonates very much with my time as a teenager in high school (long after the '70s 😅). For instance: a friend with an emotionally and physically abusive mother who kicked her out of home in the middle of the night (not for the first time), and that friend showing up at my home for shelter.

That's only one specific example with the most basic of details (because privacy 😁), but T7S reflects so much of my serious teen experiences in its stories (not necessarily autobiographically but in spirit). Also the fun and great times (and burns, which we didn't call burns) during those years, too -- just like the T7S characters. It was a mixture. Both harrowing in a lot of ways and fulfilling.

T9S isn't there. Maybe it won't ever be because it's not the same show as T7S and isn't intended to go that deeply or realistically into teen life.

But T7S does while still capturing the humor that exists during all the crap teens have to go through or get themselves into.

That being said, the T9S teens are a little younger than the T7S teens (talking about the characters, not actors). Leia fretting over having a first kiss with Jay is sweet, and it's definitely a dilemma fifteen-year-olds have.

But when I was fifteen, friends were often fretting about a lot more than a kiss. Jackie and Kelso's sexual relationship when she's a sophomore and he's a junior is closer to my specific experience (with a few first kisses sprinkled in).

I find myself and parts of my life in T7S. I connect to the characters, their connections to one another, and what they go through.

I love Red and Kitty in T9S and enjoy the teens' antics and personalities. Even if the show remains more surface with its depiction of teen life in the '90s, I hope it goes deeper with the characters and builds the connections / friendships among them so we understand*why* they care about one another and hang out (with Leia and Gwen's friendship as the exception since that gets good development in S1).

Give me a "Class Picture" (T7S, S4) type of flashback like how Fez became part of the group that shows why Oz chose the other T9S kids as friends and vice versa. Right now, I have no idea.

Gwen's brother, Nate, is Jay's best friend. Nate is dating Nikki, and Leia is Gwen and Nate's neighbor during the summer. That explains the *why* of their interactions. It doesn't explain or illustrate the deeper connections among them, however. With sixteen episodes for S2, I hope the writers use that space for episodes like T7S's "Hyde Moves In," "Sleepover," "Cat Fight Club," "Grandma's Dead," "Eric's False Alarm," "The Pill," and so on that showcase and develop the relationships among the characters.

---

Side note: If I knew had to add a *read more (under the cut)* on mobile, I would. 🫣

#that 70s show #that '90s show #Jackie x Hyde #Michael Kelso #Leia Forman #My Essay #My Meta #Essay #Meta #Personalish

[atlabeth]

turn back the clock - rafe cameron

summary: your boyfriend breaks up with you days before your best friend's wedding. you're dreading having to face it alone, but when some behind-the-scenes tampering by the bride brings you back into contact with your high school crush, more comes to light than you could've ever imagined.

a/n: thank you to ri for helping me decide which current wip to finish and this post i saw on ig for inspiring it in the first place. i love second chance romance so much and the obx3 trailer made me wanna start writing for rafe again so here we are lmao.

this has been in google drive hell since august and i finished the rest of it all in one go at midnight when i was supposed to be doing homework. so i hope you enjoy

wc: 4.2k

warning(s): small bit of angst at the beginning but basically all fluff, like toothrotting. also reader was a college track athlete but nothing else about her is described

(no i will not stop using this gif of him in the blue suit<333)

You didn’t really wanna have to make this call. Instead, you just wanted to stew in your own misery, watch some sappy rom-coms that make you feel even worse about what happened, and maybe go out and buy a couple pints of ice cream. 

But the day wasn’t supposed to be about you. And you owed it to Elizabeth to at least explain why you might be in a vaguely shitty mood at her wedding.

Honestly, though—you should have expected this. 

“He what?” 

“Liz—” you started, but you knew once she got going there was no bringing her down until she was done. 

“He broke up with you?” 

“Yes,” you said, and you clenched your free hand in a fist to keep from choking up. He didn’t deserve any of your time, you knew that, but that didn’t mean you weren’t hurting. It didn’t mean tears didn’t well up every time you thought about him. “He just sprung it on me out of nowhere last night. I thought we were doing pretty well, but,” you let out a watery laugh, “I guess not.” 

“I can’t believe him,” she seethed. “I told you not to trust guys with J names, and Jason is like, the biggest offender! I told you the moment we met him at that frat party he was bad news—” 

“You don’t need to go on a rant!” you interrupted with a laugh. “I already know how much of a jerk he is— well, I might’ve just had my eyes opened to it, but I know. I just wanted to tell you that I’m… going through some stuff, I guess, in case I seem off during all the planning. But that’s all—you have to promise me that none of the focus is gonna be on me, because this is your day.” 

“...Okay,” she said after some hesitation, “but you can still rant to me whenever you want. Just because you’re one of my bridesmaids doesn’t mean all you have to talk about is the wedding.” 

“How can I not talk about the wedding all the time?” you exclaimed. “Lizzie, I’ve been involved in so much of the process with you that it’s basically all I can think about. This is the most excited I’ve been for anything ever.” 

“Didn’t your brother get married last year?” she said. 

“You know what I mean,” you chuckled. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married, and to Nate, too. It feels like it was just yesterday that you were telling me about the cute boy in your trig class, and six years later and you’re marrying him in a week.” 

You could hear the smile in your words. “It really does feel like yesterday, huh? I remember going on and on about how much I liked him after that group project we got stuck together for—y’know, your encouragement was the only reason I ended up asking him out.” 

“Then I’m glad I kept bothering you,” you said with a smile of your own. “You guys are so great together.” 

“I just wish you would’ve taken my—” Liz suddenly stopped talking on the other end, and you frowned a bit. 

“What?” 

“...Nothing,” she said very suspiciously after a pause. “I, uh— I just remembered there’s something I need to do. Wedding related. I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Yeah—” you said, but she had already hung up. You chuckled and shook your head as you set your phone down. 

You didn’t really know what that was about, but you were looking forward to the wedding—it didn’t matter that you were suddenly single. 

You and Liz had been best friends since you were put next to each other in the seating chart in sixth grade science—and even though she went to NC A&T and you were all the way at San Diego State, you talked basically every day for all four years of college. Sometimes you even made the flights to see each other, and it was worth every single dollar. 

It made you feel a lot better, knowing she had your back (and knowing that she had likely already blacklisted Jason from the guestlist made you feel pretty good too). 

What you didn’t know, though, was that what she was doing at that moment would make the wedding night a whole lot more interesting for you. 

And it all had to do with one Rafe Cameron from high school. 

-

The air was thick with a thousand different perfumes and the stiffness of hairspray along with a whole lot of anxiety as a result of the eight bridesmaids who inhabited the room trying to make sure they looked their best before the procession started in T-10 minutes. 

You were, of course, stressed as well. It was like everything that was fine for the months leading up to the wedding had suddenly decided to go wrong just to spite you. You’d forgotten to take a tag off of your dress and it was digging into a very particular spot of your back, your hair was not cooperating—Ariel and India and Natasha might have said that you looked beautiful, but it was just not working with you—and you were about to run out of your favorite mascara. All small things, but they were beginning to add up. 

And to add to your stress, your phone started to go off. When you opened it, you saw it was a text from Lizzie. 

girl I am so sorry to ask you this I know we’re so close to the start 

but Ayana just told me that she left my bouquet on the table in the sideroom of room 139, she forgot to take them out of the vase! 

sisters aren’t even on top of things when they’re your maid of honor apparently 🙃��🙃🙃🙃 

you’re the closest to the room and the only other person I can trust rn because Im going slightly wedding crazy, can you please get it??? I will love you more than my future husband and you will have my eternal gratitude 

using my track past against me i see 

you are pushing it babe 

I know 

help me obi-wan kenobi you’re my only hope 

lol 

dw I got this 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

You are my savior and all your drinks are on me next time we go out 

You sighed and shook your head, slipping your heels off in favor of the flats you came here in. The last thing you needed was to break an ankle before the procession. 

“I’ll be back!” you announced to the rest of the bridesmaids—though you weren’t sure any of them heard you in the havoc—before you ran out of the room. You were thankful this dress had a slit. 

It took a minute for you to get there, makeup and hair still intact, but when you did you didn’t see a vase. You huffed a sigh and got to work going through everything. The actual last thing you needed was for Liz to not have her bouquet as she walked down the aisle. 

“Oh— I’m so sorry, I didn’t even know there was another person in here.” 

You turned around from your crouched spot on the floor at the voice, and you nearly toppled over when you saw who it was. 

“Rafe?” you marveled. Though it was posed as a question, there was no doubt about it. You’d only thought about him basically every day for all of high school. 

He said your name with the same surprise, his eyes widening slightly at the same time as he stared at you for a moment too long. You swore his eyes went up and down, a slight pink tinge on his cheeks, when he blinked and shook his head. A wide smile spread across his lips in its place, and it did the same sort of thing to you that it did in high school. You weren’t immune to a Rafe Cameron grin as a freshman, and apparently you weren’t as a college graduate either. “What are you doing here?” 

“Trying to find Lizzie’s bouquet ten minutes before the wedding,” you said with a slight laugh. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uh, Topper left his pocket square in here, apparently,” he said. “We drove here together, and he’s the best man so he’s scrambling all over the place, and—” Rafe paused and he breathed a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners in the same way they did in high school. “You get the idea.” 

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded, and a smile pulled at the corners of your lips. “I had no idea you were gonna be at the wedding. I—” you chuckled and shook your head. “I guess I forgot that you and Nate went to UNC together.” 

“Yeah.” Rafe laughed again, though it was a bit nervous as he ran a hand through his hair, stuffing his other hand in his pocket. “It’s uh— it’s been forever since I’ve seen you, though. What, the last time we actually had a conversation was—” 

“That one party at UNC,” you supplied, and you stood up, leaning against the countertop. “The one that Liz dragged me to when I came to visit her for spring break sophomore year. We saw each other there.” 

“...Yeah,” Rafe repeated, and his smile softened. “Yeah, it was then. I didn’t know you remembered that.” 

“‘Course I did,” you said. “I mean, the last time before that was the huge party you, Kelce, and Topper all threw in the last week of summer. Before we all went our separate ways.” 

“Oh, that was…” he laughed as he bowed his head a bit. “That was something. Uh, it should be a rule pre-college boys should not be allowed to be around that much alcohol without supervision. I’m surprised no one died that night.” 

You grinned as the memory of it all came back. It was hard to believe that it was one of the last times you saw Rafe. That it was the last time you saw Rafe for two whole years, and the next time you got even the slightest glimpse of him was a minute long conversation with your very drunk self before you were dragged out by your one sober friend. 

Seeing Rafe was the only thing you remembered from that night.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long,” you said, your voice a bit softer. “College really did something to us, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he said, and his smile faded the slightest bit. “Being on separate coasts’ll do that to you.” 

Your expression softened, and you were about to say something when your phone buzzed in your hand. Panic jolted through you for just a moment before you read what the texts said. 

just kidding lol. It turns out that Alicia got the flowers when she was picking up the drinks from there for the reception

crisis averted!! 

I’ll still cover your drinks though since I prob gave you a mini heart attack and Im very sorry about that 

“Huh,” you said, and you glanced back up at Rafe. “Looks like I was sent on a mission for flowers that weren’t even here.” 

“Elizabeth’s probably all over the place,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been kinda stressed out and I’m not even part of the wedding party. Bridal nerves have gotta be a lot worse.” But then Rafe paused and took his phone out of his pocket, and his brow creased. 

“What’s got you lookin’ like that?” you asked. 

“Huh,” he said. “Topper actually just had his pocket square in his… other pocket. So I guess I was here for nothing then, too.” 

A laugh bubbled out at that. “We’ve got some very organized friends today, huh?” 

“Seems so,” he agreed with a smile. “But I’m glad he misplaced it.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Rafe nodded, and he shrugged. “I got to see you.” 

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks at an astronomical rate, and you had never been more thankful for your phone to buzz. 

But seriously you gotta finish getting ready we have like five minutes left before the organ starts playing 

liz if this was not your day i would be so mad at you

please. you can never be mad at me 

“I gotta go before I single handedly ruin this whole procession,” you joked, and you went past the entrance and Rafe. But just as you got a few steps away, you turned around and smiled. “I’m also glad that Liz sent me here.” 

Rafe chuckled, smiling inwardly as you hurried away. You didn’t know it, but his eyes didn’t leave you for a second. 

-

The wedding ceremony went fabulously. 

You got back in time and finished getting ready—for some reason, you felt a lot more confident in your appearance—and walked down the aisle arm in arm with a very lovely groomsman before taking your place at the front of the bridesmaid line. 

You cried. A lot. 

When you saw Liz walking down the aisle, when you looked up at Nate and saw the way he gazed at her with all the stars in his eyes, when her father gave her away, when they said their vows, when they kissed, when they walked off—you were a mess basically the entire time. Thank god for waterproof mascara. 

And then when you sat with the bridesmaids for the Liz and Nate's first dance and the parent dances, you cried again. And when Ayana gave her Maid of Honor speech and Topper gave his Best Man speech—you were like a waterfall. A complete mess, but a very happy one at that. 

But you managed to stop by the bathroom and fix yourself up in record time before you all went off to your normal seating charts, and god, you had never been more glad to have done so when you walked in and saw who was at your table. 

Liz either knew everything or nothing, because this... this was really something. 

“So we meet again,” Rafe said, another easy smile appearing as he turned to look at you. “Looks like this wedding is trying to make up for all the years we missed.” 

You chuckled and took your seat next to him. “Guess so. It’s not an easy feat, though.” 

“Six years was a long time,” he said. 

“Didn’t really help that my parents sold our house in the OBX after I graduated,” you said dryly. “I missed all those Rafe Cameron summers during college.” 

“‘Rafe Cameron summer’?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Didn’t realize there was a word for it.” 

“What can I say?” you shrugged. “I graduated with an English minor. It allows me to make up phrases whenever I want.” 

“Ah,” he said, nodding sagely. “I guess my… finance concentration means I control the stock market?” 

You laughed and shook your head. “You’re ridiculous. It obviously means you’re the head of the treasury. Keep up, Rafe.” 

“My bad.” He held up his hands with mock austerity. “Our time apart is the reason for such a ridiculous mistake.” 

You smiled, but it sobered a bit and you bit your lip. “On a serious note,” you said, “I’m… I’m really sorry.” 

Rafe frowned. “For what?” 

“For that time apart,” you said. “I came back to North Carolina more than a few times to visit Liz and some other friends, but I never came to see you. We were— we were good friends, Rafe, and I shouldn’t have just disappeared on you like that all because I was at a different college.” 

Somehow, his brow furrowed even deeper. “What? You can’t possibly be blaming yourself for this—people grow apart in distance. That… that just happened to us. I mean, you were in California and I was in Chapel Hill. That’s crazy distance.” 

“I still came back, though,” you said. “Just… never for you.” 

“...I didn’t expect you to,” Rafe said, looking right in your eyes. “No matter how much…” 

“What?” you asked after he trailed off. 

Rafe sighed, then shook his head, trying to clear his mind before he looked back at you. “Do you wanna dance?” 

“What?” you repeated, mostly because you couldn’t believe it. 

“Dance with me.” He stood up and offered a hand, passing a glance at the dance floor. All of the official dances had been done already so it was open to anybody, including you and your high school crush. 

“Okay,” you said with an almost breathless laugh, and you really felt like your freshman self again the way butterflies fluttered in your chest as you took his hand and walked over to an open spot. 

You and Rafe fell into an easy rhythm, like you’d been doing this all your lives, and it didn’t take too long for your conversation to follow. 

“So what did you get up to in all those years at SD State?” he asked. “All I really know about your college career is what I’ve gotten from Instagram and your parents’ Facebooks.” 

You laughed a bit. “Regular college stuff, I guess. I did track all four years and I won some awards, which was pretty cool. Went to a lot of parties, got drunk a lot, swore off drinking a lot, studied until I thought my eyes were going to fall out, then graduated with a chemistry degree. I’ve been working as a technician in a lab for the company I interned with for the past two years.” 

Rafe whistled. “‘Regular college stuff’, she says, as she describes an insane balancing act between student athlete life, partying, and schoolwork, and still being able to graduate with a STEM degree.” 

“You’re such a flatterer,” you admonished, but there was no real bite in your words. “That’s one thing that’s never changed.” 

“It’s easy to flatter a woman like you,” he said. “I mean, you’re out there changing the world. I feel like I’m not even worthy to stand in your presence.” 

You chuckled as Rafe spun you, and as your hands joined once again you offered a coy smile. 

“You know,” you said, feeling a surge of confidence with his words, “I had the biggest crush on you in high school.” 

Rafe’s eyes widened slightly, but he covered it up with a well placed smile of his own. “Really?” he marveled, and he said your first and last name, “you had a crush on me?” 

“Yep,” you nodded. “And she had it bad. If freshman year me could see this, she would be losing her mind.” 

Rafe laughed, and it spurned butterflies in your chest yet again—they were the same kind you’d felt whenever you talked to him back then, trying to catch whatever moments you could between your busy schedule and his own responsibilities. You were too scared to admit your feelings, but you enjoyed spending time with him nonetheless. 

If there was one thing this was proving, though, it was that your feelings definitely weren’t as settled as you thought. 

“Well, you know,” he said thoughtfully, echoing your previous words as he brought you back to the present, “I had a pretty big crush on you in high school too.” 

That completely threw you off your rhythm. So much so that you stumbled, totally missing your next steps—if it weren’t for Rafe catching you, you would’ve face planted. 

“Are you good?” Rafe asked, concerned. 

“You had a crush on me?” you asked instead. 

He laughed again and ran a hand through his hair before you fell back into your rhythm together—he had let it grow out some, you realized, and it looked infinitely better all ruffled and mussed up than styled. 

“Yeah,” he said. His smile wasn’t as confident as it always was, a boyish charm mingling with unusual shyness. “It, uh— it kinda snuck up on me. I didn’t really know how big of a crush it was until I was at your signing ceremony. Like, right after you signed the contract was when I realized I had it bad.” 

“My signing ceremony?” you marveled, and you shook your head in disbelief. “You really have great timing, Rafe. Couldn’t have realized a couple years earlier when we were still in the same place?” 

Rafe laughed softly. “Yeah. I really do. But I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make it harder for you. I mean, I was staying in the OBX for Chapel Hill, and you were taking the opportunity of a lifetime to run track in San Diego. I wasn’t gonna take your mind off of that because some hometown guy had a crush on you.”

“Some hometown guy,” you repeated, and it was your turn to laugh. “You thought that little of yourself?” 

“It’s true,” he shrugged. “I was just a friend that fell for you. I mean,” he gave you a crooked smile, “not that it was hard to fall for you. Pretty sure I was one of ten guys who wanted to ask you to prom senior year.” 

“Okay, that is not true at all,” you said, but you were stumbling over yourself just as quickly. He wanted to ask you to prom senior year? When the one thing that you thought about whenever you looked at him that spring was dancing with him at prom? “Grant Millwood was the only one that asked me.”

Rafe nodded with a laugh. “That was because he threatened everyone that he knew had a crush on you to make sure he would get to go with you.”

“And then he ditched me halfway through the night because he got too drunk to function off the alcohol he smuggled in himself,” you said dryly. “Yeah, he was a great date.”

“High school was the best,” Rafe said with mock austerity, “wasn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded. “I miss the kook academy every single day.”

“I still can’t believe you wanted to ask me to prom senior year,” you said, shaking your head. “Rafe, how did I not even know? Why didn’t you do it?” 

“And let you miss your chance with Grant Millwood?” Rafe over exaggerated his scoff. “Please.” 

A laugh spilled out as a smile shone through. “You would’ve saved high school me a lot of angst if you told her you had a crush on her, y’know. Then I wouldn’t have had to spend four years pining in high school.” And four more in college, and two more postgrad. 

(God, you wish he had told you sooner. You would’ve blown all of your money on tickets to North Carolina if you had even the slightest inkling your eternal feelings weren’t eternally hopeless.) 

“Goes both ways,” he said, tacking on your last name. “Why didn’t you tell me how bad you had it?” 

“Because I thought that there was no chance in Hell that Rafe Cameron would ever share my feelings?” you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on, Rafe—you know who you are, who you were. You say a couple guys wanted to ask me to prom—every girl wanted to date you. I didn’t stand a chance.” 

“And yet you did,” Rafe said with a slight chuckle. He shook his head. “Y’know, if I could turn back the clock, I would’ve done so many things differently.” Rafe smiled boyishly. “I would’ve mustered the nerve to ask you to prom before Grant even got the chance. And I definitely would’ve asked you out instead of liking you in private.” 

You smiled and shrugged. He liked you then when you thought there was no chance—why not now, when you also thought there was no chance? 

“Who says you have to turn back the clock?” 

Rafe’s own grin grew immediately, and he pulled you off to the side of the dance floor. He held your hands in his own, the cool metal of his signet ring at odds with the rough calluses on his palms brushing against your skin. 

He said your name with such earnesty you felt like you could melt, and when you gazed into his eyes, you nearly did. “I think you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in every single way. I can’t believe that it took me meeting you by chance at a wedding for me to do this, but I’d like to fix a mistake I made five years ago by never doing this. Can I take you on a date?” 

“Rafe Cameron,” you said, and it was a physical effort to contain the joy nearly bursting out of you, “I would love that more than anything.” 

He grinned. “Great.” 

And then he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you in for the best kiss of your life, one that you immediately fell into with all the vigor of six years spent longing. 

When he pulled away, leaving you completely breathless with widened eyes and bruised lips, his sultry whisper nearly took you out. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” 

You only had eyes for Rafe as you pulled him back into a heated kiss, pulling him by the cuffs of his baby blue suit. The only thing that got you away from him was the need for air.

"Me too," you murmured.

(And in the background, you were far too dazed to hear Liz’s victorious cheer.)

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator @louderfortheback 

obx tags: @milkiane @lilgoddesshines @sexytholland

rafe tags: @lurkymurker

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #obx x reader #obx #obx fic #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks fic #rafe cameron obx #obx rafe cameron #outer banks rafe cameron #rafe cameron outer banks #sadie writes

[huggybug]

Yes always a dad fic! With either Nate or Cale

turn the lights off, carry me it home - nathan mackinnon

word count: 1.4k words

no promises that this is good. it’s dad!nate but i just kinda wrote what came to mind so if it’s a little messy don’t pay it much attention! this is just because of the win and my break is still in effect until further notice :)

The clock ticks down until it’s zero’s across the board. They did it. They won the Stanley Cup. You can barely process it before everyone’s jumping up around you. Nate’s parents are hugging, his mom crying when she turns to hug you. You look over to see your daughter, Bella in Nate’s sister’s arms, waving her arms around as she screams with the rest of the family.

Everywhere you turn, there’s someone new to hug. The rest of the girls around you are cheering while filming the boys celebrating on the ice and you’re so caught up in the excitement to even realize what’s happen.

Soon enough, your section is being escorted down to the ice and you’re keeping Bella close to you just in case. Most of the kids didn’t come to Florida but Nate insisted that Bella was here. However the few that are here seem just as excited as anyone as they wave their little flags as the group makes their way down to ice level.

The girls all hang back while the families get to the guys first and then everyone breaks up and it’s absolute chaos on the ice. Your grip on Bella’s hand is tight and you carefully make your way through the crowd in search of your boyfriend.

“Bells!” Your head whips around to see Nate behind you which makes you all but jump into his arms. Bella, feeling a little left out, attaches herself to Nate’s leg which makes him laugh.

“Congratulations Babe” Nate’s holding you up with one arm while the other hold’s Bella securely to his leg so she doesn’t fall.

“Told you we’d do it” You can see the tears in his eyes as he nods, affirming the statement he’s been reiterating to you all season long.

“I never doubted you” You grinned before kissing him. “I knew you’d bring it home Nate, we all did, it was just a matter of time”

He set you down, quickly swapping you for Bella, hoisting her up into the air as she squealed. “You wanna go touch the cup Bells?” Nate asked and your heart pounded when you saw the way he looked at her. His eyes were full of happiness and love; it had been a while since you’d seen him like that. The stress of the season and lately the cup run was a lot on him and you could tell.

“Can I go to Uncle EJ?” Bella pointed about 10 feet away where EJ was celebrating with his family.

“Go quick, if he’s busy you come back okay?” Bella nodded and you watched your four year old run across the ice, straight into EJ’s arms who happily spins around with her.

“So…” You trail off, turning back to your boyfriend.

“So?” Nate asks, clearly amused if the look on his face says anything.

“I believe there was some sort of promise you made… something about you asking me something?” You smirk when Nate throws his head back in laughter.

It was something you’d been waiting for a while now. Nate was never supposed to be in your life forever. You were originally set up by your best friend who somehow knew EJ and the two plotted to set their ‘grumpy single friends’ up. Surprisingly, you and Nate hit it off and started dating. After a year together, you got pregnant with Bella and your relationship got a lot more serious very quickly. Before that, it was more for fun, Nate was coming off a fought season and you were just starting your first real job. You were both very career driven and relationships weren’t that big of a priority for either of you which actually was what made your connection so strong.

Neither of you were waiting around for a call or text every night. You had your own seperate lives and you were okay with that. Obviously a child changed that drastically. You moved in with Nate and your lives became more intertwined than ever. He got excited that he was now coming home to you, home games that you weren’t in attendance for were few and far in between, and if that wasn’t enough, as soon as he saw Bella, he was completely enthralled.

There was no way Nate was letting either of his girls out of his life anytime soon but he had yet to ask the big question. His parents liked to tease him about it more than you’d expect really. It wasn’t that they were upset that you had a child before getting married, they loved Bella almost as much as they loved Nate. And they loved you as well which is why any time they saw Nate, they’d pester him about his plans on popping the question.

The guys liked to make fun of him too but you always stayed quiet, you understood his reasoning on waiting. He was in a crucial time in his career right now and his main focus was hockey. He loved your little family, that would never change but he always claimed there were just some goals he wanted to accomplish before getting married.

It didn’t bother you, if anything, you admired how focused he could be. His promise was always that the day he won the cup, he’d ask. When his parents found out about that, they didn’t seem too pleased but you always said ‘okay’.

You weren’t going to pressure him to do it before and it wasn’t like you were going anywhere, no ring would change that, so there was no harm in waiting.

“A promise? I don’t know…” Nate chuckled as you rolled your eyes.

“C’mon Nathan! You got your ring, now give me mine” You made little grabby hands at him which made him laugh, gently pushing you away.

“Alright calm down! I know what I promised, don’t worry”

“I touched it! I touched the trophies!” Bella comes flying into you as she slides along the ice and you laugh, steadying her before Nate picks her up.

“The trophies?” You ask.

“Mhm Uncle Cale let me touch his because he said Daddy should have won too” Bella explains and Nate shakes his head.

“C’mon Bells we’re going to go with Grandma and Grandpa while Daddy goes to celebrate okay?” You had noticed the group on the ice had started to thin out, the guys going back to the locker room while families filed out, either to head back to their hotel or to the banquet hall which was pre booked in the event that they did win.

“No!” Bella whined, clinging to Nate a little tighter. “I wanna go with Daddy!”

“Bells” Nate sighed, adjusting her in his arms. “You can’t come with me, you’ll get trampled” The locker room was going to be a mess and it was certainly not a place for kids.

“We can go find the girls, maybe they’ll want to come for ice cream before bed” Bella loved being apart of ‘the girls’. She would try to sneak out of bed whenever the wives came over for an away game watch party and you usually let her if it wasn’t too late.

“Okay! Do you want ice cream Daddy?”

“I’m fine B, we can go together when we get home, okay?” She nods and gives him a quick hug before squirming out of his arms and running off to where a group of girls were standing and talking.

“Guess we’re leaving now”

“See you at the party later?” Nate mumbled as he pulls you in for another hug.

“Of course” You smile and his easy smile back sends you for a loop again. It seems so surreal, even after you’ve done it all. You took your family pictures with the cup, watched as Nate celebrated with Gabe and EJ who had truly been through the worst of it with him. Everything that typically happened after a cup win, you had done it but it still doesn’t seem real.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea” Nate grabs your hand before you can walk away and just by the look in his eyes, you can tell what he’s thinking.

“We are not eloping in Tampa, Nathan” It was something he always joked about, that you’d just run off and get married one day but you knew his family would kill him.

“We can fly to Vegas” He suggested.

“No. Go spray your boys with champagne and I’ll see you after” Nate smiled before kissing you again and skating off, hustling to get back into the celebrations.

#nathan mackinnon x reader #nathan mackinnon imagine #nathan mackinnon fic #dad au #colorado avalanche #hockey writing #hockey fic #nhl players #nhl fanfiction

[earthtoharlow]

Flashing Lights

10) I Miss You, Don’t Call Me

Jack Harlow x Singer!OC

TW: slight mention of violence, and mentions of alcohol abuse

Series Masterlist

Jack sighed as Maryse declined his call again. It’s been a month since that incident with Nate happened. The next morning Maryse didn’t want to talk about it, stating she was fine. Jack knew she was lying, but didn’t want to push her.

Things seemed to be okay for a few weeks but recently Maryse has been avoiding him. She would decline his calls and if the off chance she did answer she would rush him off the phone saying she had to get back to rehearsals for her shows she had coming up at the Apollo Theater.

Jack was afraid that if she continued on this path of keeping things herself that she was going to blow up one day. He hated seeing her like this. It doesn’t help that he’s in LA right now while she’s home in NY.

“Jack, why are you rushing back to New York, we literally need you in Boston for New Balance by tomorrow afternoon!” Neelam said as she interrupted his thoughts. Jack needed to see Maryse now, he couldn’t let this go on any longer.

“I’m going to see Maryse, I’ll go straight to Boston as soon as I’m done. I promise.” He responded as he continued to pack his backpack, deciding to only take essentials.

He ignored Neelam's sigh at the mention of his girlfriend. “Jack…” she started but he immediately interrupted her. “Don’t wanna hear it.”

“Jack, just hear me out! I love Maryse but your career is very important. This is a huge year for you, you can’t just drop everything for some girl, you’ve only been dating for 3 months! And don’t think I haven’t noticed her ignoring your calls…”

Jack pulled his hoodie over his head, and took a deep breath before replying. “It’s been five months.” Neelam rolled her eyes.

“I’m not dropping everything for some girl, she’s my girlfriend and a Grammy award winner, might I add.”

He continued as Neelam folded her arms in front of him. “She’s going through something right now and needs me. I’ve been running around nonstop, and haven’t missed an appearance. Boston is hardly an hour flight away from NY. I will be back in time for the NB event.”

Only thing Neelam could do was sigh, knowing she wasn’t going to change his mind. “Ok. Fine. You better be back in time.”

He gave a simple nod as he slung his backpack over his shoulders and headed towards the door. “Gotcha.”

As he walked out the door he turned around to say one last thing. “Oh, and Neelam?”

“Yeah?” She questioned.

“You’re going to respect my girlfriend, she’s here to stay. This weird energy you have towards her is going to stop.” He closed the door behind him, not giving Neelam time to react as she stood there with her mouth open.

***

“That sounded great guys, let's take a 30!” Maryse told her band with a smile. She was currently rehearsing for her shows the following weekend at the iconic Apollo Theater to celebrate her debut album.

Once everyone left the room she sat at the piano and she began playing around with some chords that had been in her head for a couple days.

She silently sighed as her fingers moved across the keys, the more she played the more she started thinking about Jack. He didn’t deserve how she was treating him and made a silent vow to call him when he left rehearsals.

“I haven't slept since Sunday…” she began singing the first thing that came to mind. She wished Jack was with her right now.

“Midnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. But my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone.” Maryse hadn’t slept properly since the night of her release party, having dreams about Nate, she knew the only thing that would fix this would be opening up about with Jack.

“I was good at feeling nothing, now I'm hopeless. What a drag to love you like I do”

Fuck it. She thought as she pulled her phone out, dialing Jack’s number. He of course answered on the first ring, she spoke before he could even speak. “I love you so much, I’m sorry for ignoring your calls, we can talk about everything when I get home, okay?” She bit her lip as it was silent on the other line.

“I love you too.” Maryse gasped as she heard his voice from behind her. Turning around, Jack was leaning against the doorway, phone pressed against his ear.

She immediately jumped up from her place at the piano and skipped towards him. “What are you doing here?” Maryse questioned as she pulled him closer to her, pressing her face into his chest and smelling his cologne.

Jack just shook his head, and kissed the top of her head. “We can talk about it later. I just needed to see you.”

***

It was 10 pm when she got back home from rehearsals, she stripped as soon as she walked into the house. Walking into her room, Jack was spread across her bed, soft snoring leaving his mouth. She felt bad that he came all this way for her. Changing into one of his many shirts he’s left at her place, she climbed into bed next to him, pressing a kiss to his face.

Jack, being a light sleeper, woke up from the light kiss. “Hey” he said softly.

Maryse smiled at him, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for ignoring your calls.”

Jack pulled her in closer next to him in bed. Maryse wrapping her legs around his own. “I guess I should explain myself.”

He nodded. “But only if you’re ready, I never wanna pressure you. I’m just worried about you.”

Maryse nodded and was silent as she continued playing with his hair. “I had been dating Nate since he was a senior in college. So I’ve known him for a really long time. You could say he was my first real relationship. Everything was really good for a long time, until we weren’t. But everything changed when he tore his pec during a playoff game.”

Jack stayed quiet, letting Maryse get her thoughts out.

“He was really upset and angry with himself for getting hurt. So he started drinking to cope, I would come home from the studio and he would be passed out drunk in the living room.”

Maryse took a pause before continuing, she hasn’t spoken about this to anyone in almost two years. “I watched alcohol turn the man I loved into a monster. We would argue all the time, every problem we faced steamed from his drinking.”

She didn’t realize it in the moment that she had closed her eyes as she spoke, thinking about the things he would say out of anger. “You’ll never make it in the industry.” “No one will listen to your music.” “No one will ever love you like I do”

“He would say the curliest things to me during arguments but he never once put his hands on me. That night at the release party was the first.” Maryse could feel herself getting overwhelmed and tears started forming in her eyes.

Jack immediately pulled her into his chest, bringing her closer than she already was. “I’m sorry.” Maryse said, pulling back and wiping her eyes. She grimaced seeing the tear stain on his shirt.

He shook his head, “This isn’t my favorite shirt.” Maryse couldn’t help but giggle and pinched his side.

“Not about that you idiot! Sorry, for putting you, and Urban for that matter in that position. You both could’ve gotten extremely hurt that night! Especially with how angry Nate was. That’s why I was ignoring your calls because I was really embarrassed after that night.” Maryse ended with a frown.

It was Jack’s turn to frown. “I’m going to stop you right there. One, you didn’t deserve any of that shit he put you through. I’m sorry that you had to deal with that, loving an addict is a hard and taxing job. Two, you’re worth defending. I’ll throw my last punch defending you. You’re my person, my peace. I’ll do anything to protect you.”

Hearing Jack reassure her made Maryse relax for the first time in weeks. She also couldn’t help the flutters she felt in her stomach at Jack calling her his person.

“I love you, Jack.”

Jack leaned forward and kissed her head, nose and finally a sweet kiss on her lips.

“I love you more. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Maryse pressed her lips against his lips one more time, happy he was here in her arms.

Jack let out a yawn. “Now, wrap your legs around me so I can go back to sleep. I have a flight to catch in 3 hours.”

She did just that, getting a full nights rest for the first time in weeks.

***

AN: hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Let me know you’re thoughtssss!

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