#it fucking hurts and I’m not even one of the people they’re actively hurting

[babyfairy]

i hate that i can’t even ride the high from my concert because my life is so consistently depressing and hellish lmao 🙃 it’s depressing to come back down to reality after such a good day. like it really makes me realize how joyless my life has become. everything just blurs together

#and i’m just tired of like everything around me feeling like it’s drifting away and becoming more unreachable #like i never even get to finish a conversation with half of my friends because they just forget to respond to me #thank god for sushi and asant consistently replying even when they’re busy lmao #no one else even bothers to really check in now unless i’m in like ACTIVE crisis it really sucks #not even in like a ‘i need people to hear me vent’ way #i just don’t feel important to the majority of the people in my life. at all #or maybe it’s just i feel like i care about and prioritize them a lot more than they do me #like? i had more coworkers text me on my birthday than actual friends #and i fucking hate my birthday so i get it to some degree #but it just hurts my feelings? idk? i feel like such an afterthought all the time to people. like a ghost #and i feel like i’m not interesting or good enough to keep anyone around or hold their attention #my own brother didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. at all lol #are my expectations just too high? #it’s just lonely. i wish i didn’t feel so alone

[seilon]

kinda wild how you can have almost every aspect of your life deeply intertwined with someone else for years and then have all of that thrown in your face when that person decides none of it meant anything and, in fact, was toxic and purge-worthy

#hahahaha it’s been a bad day #and I am spiraling and all around not having a good time #I keep looking at the bulletin board in my room that used to make me so happy to look at because of all the good memories on it and the #reminder of there being people who care about me and now it just sorta. does the opposite #most of it just makes me feel. dread. #he’s in almost every picture and 80% of the people in the pictures in general I don’t talk to anymore for one reason or another #mostly people who just drifted away because I’m absolutely terrible at staying in touch with people #like not in a quirky way. like actually actively ruins relationships for no reason level bas #but some of them are people who purposefully don’t talk to me anymore #found out recently about one of these people. it’s someone I’d been friends with for like 15 years. purposefully blocked me #I believe because of whatever bullshit my ex has told her. she never asked me about anything so whatever she knows is #heavily biased and probably warped #because I don’t have anyone advocating for me. lol #even my close friends- the extremely few I have- are ‘neutral’ on it. which. im gonna be honest hurts me quite a bit. I have no one who #truly condemns him for the way he’s handled (lack thereof) all this and bolstered all my trust issues in the process and has made me #constantly critical of my own intentions because I can never trust that what I do or say is manipulative or ‘unhealthy’ anymore and I don’t #think I’m an all around good person on top of that because of my low empathy and all that and etc etc etc. it’s really fucked me up #but yeah anyway. yeah. they’re still on good terms with him more or less (though not as close as I am but that’s partly just due to me being #physically close rather than in another city). and it honestly hurts me that they could actively be centrists here #like I. just. really don’t trust anyone anymore. how the fuck could I #uh. anyway. im not sure if i want to take the board down all together or just take off almost all the photos on it #not sure what’s more depressing #cause they’re both pretty bad lol. almost all my major good memories from the past five years have included my ex so they’re basically all #tainted and unpleasant to look back on now. really just wasted five years of my life for this #another reason I’m constantly contemplating my own intentions these days is because I have a lot of thoughts and urges that I’d never do but #that are. related to purposefully hurting others or myself physically or emotionally or both. like. every part of me wants to deck my ex in #the face but obviously I’d never do that. but even just the compulsion feels like a justification of his narrative/view of me as a person #like haha maybe I am a shitty toxic abusive manipulative bastard. maybe I do just deserve to be alone where I can’t hurt or think about #hurting anyone. it’d definitely be better all-around if I didn’t fucking exist. burden lifted. but you know. #not sure how im like this but also egotistical and self centered but alas here we are. anyway I’ll delete this soon sorry

[confused-wanderer]

It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.

The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.

No one fucks with Gothamites.

Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*

Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.

Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE

Or

Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*

Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*

Thief: .. what the actual fuck

Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D

Thief:

Dick: I’m from Gotham

Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones

OR

Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*

Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.

Shooter:

Dick:

Shooter:

Dick: .. Hi :)

Shooter: Are you Satan?

AND

In interrogation room

Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection

Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you

Murderer: .. what

Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-

Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you

Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.

Murderer:

Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.

Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.

But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.

Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.

Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven

Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.

Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?

Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!

Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?

Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.

Red Robin: Wait what did he do?

Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.

Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop

Red Hood: Well even I could do that-

Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.

Red robin *growing concerned*

Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!

Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.

*all nodding in agreement*

Red hood:

Red Robin:

Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick

Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.

*villains’ sobbing intensifies*

#batman #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #nightwing #tim drake #batfam #red robin #officer dick grayson #batfam headcanons #dick Grayson headcanons #dick grayson police officer

[waltermis]

Stay, Stay, Stay

Summary: You & Natasha share a comforting moment

Warnings: hurt/comfort

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader (romantic)

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATASHA!! ❤️❤️

↠↠↠ 

Natasha sighed, cutting her peanut butter sandwich. She listened to Rocket, Nebula, and the rest of the remaining avengers argue from across the universe. It’s been five years since the snap. Five years since Thanos. Five years since the Avengers officially split up. Five years since she lost Yelena. Five years since everything… But no matter how much time passed, she couldn’t let this life go. 

“Carol, are we seeing you here next month?”

“Not likely,”

“What? You gonna get another haircut?” Rocket teased.

“Listen, fur face. I’m covering a lot of territory. The things that are happening on Earth are happening everywhere. On thousands of planets.”

“Uh, all right. All right. That’s a good point. That’s a good point.”

“So, you might not see me for a long time.” 

“All right. Uh well, this channel's always active. So, if anything goes sideways… anyone’s making trouble where they shouldn’t… comes through me.” Natasha stated, before Rocket, Okoye, Carol’s channels disappeared, leaving Rhodey. “Where are you?” she asked him.

“Mexico. The Federales found a room full of bodies. Looks like a bunch of cartel guys never even had a chance to get their guns off.”

“It’s probably a rival gang,” Natasha denied quickly.

“Except it isn’t. It’s definitely Barton… what he’s done here, what he’s been doing for the last few years. I mean, the scene that he left…I gotta tell you there’s a part of me that doesn’t even want to find him.”

“Will you find out where he’s going next?” she asked, taking a bit of her sandwich, tears filling her eyes, threatening to spill.

“Nat?”

“Please?” she asked, quietly. She looked so vulnerable, her eyes glassy and nose red from holding back tears.

“Okay,” he sighed, before leaving the channel.

Natasha sighed, trying her hardest not to cry. She missed him, Clint, he was her best friend. One of the first few people that truly trusted her. When she met Clint’s family, they welcomed her in with open arms. They were like her second family; finding out that they were blipped broke her heart. She couldn’t imagine what Clint was going through. 

‘God, this is a fucking mess.’ She thought, wrapping her arms around herself. Taking a bite out of her sad excuse of a sandwich, Natasha’s senses picked up the sound of wheels rolling against the hardwood floor. Natasha furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, watching you hauling two big blue luggage, she’s never seen before, through the common room. “Moya lyubov’, where are you going?” You ignored her, continuing to grab the luggage’s outside. “Detka? Are you okay?!” Still nothing. Natasha began to panic; thoughts of you finally realizing that you deserved better clawed their way into her brain. “Dorogaya? Can we talk about this? Please!”

“Babe?” you asked, coming back. “What’re you doing in here? I thought you were gonna use Meeting room A today… W-why’re you crying?” you asked, wrapping her up in your arms. She didn’t even notice the tears that streamed down her face. 

“Please don’t leave me! I promise I’ll spend more time with you, just please don’t go…” she cried into your chest, her words muffled as she tugged you into her, her grip tight.

“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere,”

“Then why are you taking your luggage outside?!” she wailed, her nails digging further into you, afraid that you’d leave the second she loosened her grip.

“What? Those aren’t mine.”

“Huh?” she sobbed out. “Then whose are those?”

“They’re Tony’s, from when he and Pepper used to live here. They still have a bit of stuff here they haven’t moved to the cabin yet, he wanted me to finally bring it over for him.” you explained slowly, knowing that the lack of sleep was finally catching up on your redheaded girlfriend.

“Then what about you ignoring me?” she asked softly, her grip finally loosening.

“I was listening to music,” you showed her the air pods still in your ears. “I couldn’t hear you. I didn’t even know you were in here. I thought you decided to use one of the meeting rooms instead. You know I would never intentionally ignore you,”

Natasha nodded; her eyes grew heavier listening to the soothing sound of your voice. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.” she begged, tilting her head up to look into your eyes.

“I promise, there is nothing in this world that would make me leave you. Ever.” you promised, pecking her on the lips.

“I love you; you know that right?”

“Of course, I do, and I love you too. To Vormir and back.”

“Where’s that?” she asked sleepily, her head thudding on your chest again.

“Not sure… just came into my head.” you laughed, picking her up in your arms. You brought her back to your shared bedroom, placing her underneath the covers.

“Stay,” she said, grabbing a hold of your arm.

“Of course.” Bringing her into your arms, you placed a firm kiss on her head, letting sleep envelope the two of you.

↠↠↠ 

864 words

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #mcu #marvel #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n

[brianwashere]

hello!! saw your writing today in my tags and got interested, read some more and you seem really cool :D i got one fic stuck in my head though, the one you posted earlier today with the 7 foot spider reader! it was really cool but i kind of thought about a follow up (and I made sure to check your rules before this)

i was thinking, m/n is really big, intimidating and generally a badass- however. in bed (nsfw) he’s inexperienced, shy af, and ends up just being really submissive (you actually didn’t specify if you prefer dom or sub reader, i assumed you mind neither, but if u don’t feel comfortable with this then just ignore)

thank you, and keep up your great works so far :D

Anon, you’re officially my favorite fucking person ever. Oh my god. This req. warmed my heart. Idek what. It just did. Thank you for reading my other fics too. Wow. I’m reeling rn.

Also you didn’t specify who with so I just did HCs for Noir and Miguel

Pls req again soon! You’re so sweet

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from marvel or sony **

Summary: look at req

Tw: explicit activities ehehehehe, language

-Miguel-

The first time you two try anything he’s expecting you to be all dominant and get his ass blasted

Y’all two are making out and he’s ready to take it to the next level

And you’re nervous cause you know he’s expecting you to be this super experienced “knows how to make you scream immediately” kinda guy

The truth is you haven’t had much experience because while people may be into the whole “huge man” thing they’re too scared to actually come up to you and even have a conversation

And you’re also scared of hurting your partner

Just a mix of things that led you to little experience

It doesn’t take long for Miguel to figure it out

As soon as you glanced at his face nervously he knew something was up

At first Miguel is surprised bcc he would’ve expected men and women to practically be hanging from you

Once he recovers from the initial shock he’s down with topping and showing you the ropes

It’s a bit of a boost to his ego, not to mention a massive turn on for him

He never lets you shy away from him/cover your face. He loves seeing you. He knows he’s not stronger than you but he’ll still pull your hands away/pull you closer

But sometimes he does wanna be on bottom

Queue very erotic teaching sessions

When you do something he likes he’ll definitely over exaggerate so you’ll know

He also loves marking you up in more…intense ways because he knows it won’t really hurt you

Clawing your back. He’ll claw the SHIT out of your back.

Biting you too. Sometimes he just can’t help it

He finds out you have god tier stamina and impecable recovery time and will definitely use that to his advantage

*cough cough* Overstimulation and denial *cough cough*

He’s down to do whatever you’re comfortable with but sometimes he really needs some stress relief i.e. getting a blowjob or just fucking you senseless

He won’t admit it but he likes when he’s the little spoon after you two are done

~Noir~

You got nervous and told him the first make out session that you had practically no experience

He was a little taken aback, again, you’re so big and so hot how could people not be lining up for a piece of you

It makes him feel even more lucky to be with you though

“Oh…that’s ok, dear. We’ll take it slow, then.”

Then he finds out your submissive too and he’s pretty sure he has a heart attack

Now he was pretty vanilla at first but then he found the internet and stumbled upon some kinks and did some…research

Behind. He loves seeing your back muscles move and twist under him

He likes tying your wrists together with some of his webbing

It’s strong enough that it could actually hold you if you tried resisting, maybe not for very long, but it wouldn’t snap like thread at the slightest pressure

He loves praising you. Praise. All the time. Always praise. You could breathe and he’d be on his knees for you

Every time he does something new he asks if you’re ok with it

He’ll be gentle if that’s what you want but he figures out that’s usually not the case

Usually you want everything he’s got, as much as he’ll provide you

He does love soft romantic nights with you though

Where he gets to enjoy your large beautiful frame and your contrasting shyness

When he gets to slow down and drink in ALL of you

The noises you make, the small movements, your incoherent mumbling

He loves ALL of it

He’s so down bad for you not even a joke

A little guilty pleasure for him is kissing you senseless

He loves being the big spoon for you, even if it just feels like a backpack is attached to you

#miguel x reader #miguel smut #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x male reader #sub miguel o'hara #top miguel O’Hara #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x reader #spider man noir #spider man noir x reader #Spider-Man noir x male reader #Spider-Man noir fanfiction #spider man noir smut #male reader #fanfic #fanfic writing #smut #spiderman atsv #astv x reader #atsv x male reader #atsv fanfiction #atsv

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Do you think Peeta strangling Katniss affects their relationship in the growing back together phase? Most seem to think it would be Peeta getting reassurance and comfort from Katniss but I find that a little wrong since it was her getting strangled and with the neck covered in bruises

Why does it have to be either one or the other needing/getting reassurance and/or healing from the strangling?

By the end of Mockingjay, both Katniss and Peeta are dealing with complex ptsd, which means both of them have an assortment, a complicated mess of traumas they have to sort through during the grow back together phase. That’s why it’s essential that both of them work with Dr Aurelius. So I absolutely believe that it does impact their relationship, at least a little. But there’s A LOT that is going to affect their relationship during the grow back together phase. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a fact of living with ptsd.

I agree with your hypothetical “most” that Peeta would absolutely feel guilt and responsibility over his trying to strangle Katniss. He put his hands on her and physically hurt her, left her marked and unable to speak for a significant amount of time. She needed to be hospitalized for her injuries. As a person with childhood abuse in his past, who we can readily assume wanted to break that cycle of violence, Peeta would be devastated to learn that he did that to Katniss. Just like he was devastated seeing himself throw Mitchell into the barbed net in the Capitol. Hijacked or not, he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that he did it. He’s going to need reassurance from Katniss over it, and would have to learn to forgive himself as part of their growing back together phase.

As for Katniss… what I’ve seen argued is that she was more concerned with the verbal hurts Peeta inflicted upon her when he was recovering from the hijacking than she was with the physical ones… which I can see the case for this textually. She doesn’t fixate on the strangling itself but on the words he speaks and how she thinks he sees her, the “real” her in her self-loathing, after his hijacking. She almost acts like she deserved that violence against her body.

But here’s the thing. If we can assume that Peeta never wants to repeat the abuse his mother heaped on him by abusing those he loves… he’s going to feel like shit for the things he said to her in his pseudo hijacked phase as well. Peeta internalizes the things his mother said about him. She calls him a “stupid, worthless creature” in Katniss’s memory of the bread flashback. And in Catching Fire, Peeta lashes out at Katniss and Haymitch for keeping secrets from him by saying “Like I’m too stupid or inconsequential” to understand or deserve the truth…

Inconsequential is another way of saying worthless, my friend. He repeats what we know his mother has said about him. Because on some level, he believes that it’s true… symptom of trauma and abuse, my friend.

So of course, even if Katniss fixates only on the cruel things that hijacked Peeta says to her rather than the physical act of strangling her, there are still going to be a host of issues they have to deal with, and eventually, they’re going to have to deal with the strangulation aspect as well.

And Peeta’s no stranger to lashing out physically either. In addition to verbally lashing out, Peeta also physically breaks a lamp in that CF scene. Some people will argue that it’s a stretch, but it is still an indicator of his anger on occasion manifesting as physical ACTION. Lest we forget, he somehow kills Brutus in the Quell, and Brutus is billed as one of the stronger, more ruthless Victor Tributes in that arena. Oh and by the way, Beetee had Peeta’s knife at the lightning tree. So what in the fuck was Peeta armed with when he killed Brutus? His bare hands?!?!

Now, Katniss might not actively fixate on those things during Mockingjay, but I find it highly likely that she would flinch or visibly react to the possibility of physical violence when post MJ Peeta gets angry or distraught… because she knows what he’s capable of and knows that he’s lashed out physically before. And that is absolutely going to affect them both.

Do I think Peeta is abusive towards Katniss? No. Absolutely not. I don’t think that at all. But lemme give you a real life example.

I’m married to someone with ptsd. Some of that is a result of having physical violence inflicted on him personally. Some of it is just from witnessing violence and its results in real life. Some of it is from existing for long periods of time in a place where he was constantly in danger of dying. I have never physically hurt him. But one time, shortly after he came home, I playfully smacked his arm (not even all that hard, Anon) while we were hanging a picture on the wall, we were laughing and teasing each other… and he legit froze, completely tense, and whispered “Don’t… don’t do that again.” I had triggered a flashback.

So there is no doubt in my mind that at some point, Everlark has to deal with Peeta triggering a flashback in Katniss to the moment he tried to strangle her.

Conclusion: It’s both of them that will have to deal with it, will need to heal and need reassurance. I just think that it is going to take a lot of work for both of them to process, deal with, and overcome the verbal and physical violence in their pasts. I think really, the discussion you’re probably seeing right now is simply an acknowledgment that Peeta, as loving and soft as he can be, is also fully capable of violence, and he knows it, and he’s going to have to deal with it. He’s no cream puff. He’s got fire in him and is fully capable of biting back. But acknowledging what he has to deal with in terms of him almost strangling Katniss isn’t necessarily a dismissal of what Katniss will have to deal with alongside him. She’ll just be dealing with it from a different aspect and probably at a different pace.

❤️ kdnfb

#thg thoughts #everlark #anonymous #look at that ask

[wildemaven]

Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.

I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...

It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.

The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.

I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.

There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.

You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.

Anyway... I guess that's it.

Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.

It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.

There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.

Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?

I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!

You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.

You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕

Coffee Shop Asks

#you’re not alone and I’m here for you!! #sweet sweet anon #asks answered #coffee shop asks

[hemipenal-system]

this thread is fucking long and the cut is in an awkward place just bear with it please

so werewolves are a stock horror villain (and the posts directly below this one are about that! go look at them) and don’t get me wrong i love werewolf horrorsmut but i want to see more of:

werewolves who just aren’t scary in any way. like sure the shift may be scary. they may look kinda scary. but they’re just people like everyone else even if they are more ruled by instinct than the average human. i think stuff like that is a nice way to explore what it means to be a person and how humanity can be a fluid category, especially when the werewolves in question are transgender/disabled/personality disorder coded.

like i want some wholesome shit about werewolves who can’t even pass as ambiguously human. they’re just very overtly werewolves: massive sharp, snarling bundles of taut muscles and sinew, 8, 9 feet tall, who are very capable of snapping and killing everything around them

but don’t. because they’re treated well and loved even though they’re not like everyone else. and it doesn’t matter that they aren’t, because they are like everyone else even if they’re not. i know that sounds a bit confusing on the face but i mean stuff like:

- “oh yeah no worries, Sharon from accounting’s a wolf too! no no we love her! remember when we went to topgolf for that company outing? they couldn’t find any clubs in her size so she outdrove us all with clubs a foot too short it was hysterical!”

- “all right you should be scheduled for this week! next two weeks are the same? no right of course not because you need moon days. yeah that’s totally fine i will get that in to HR and you should be all good!”

- “is- no it’s fine- is it ok if i stay shifted in here? the pain is less bad when i’m shifted. no i have no idea why lol. you’re sure? the shedding is ok and everything? aww sweetie i love you too!”

- “i mean, hip dysplasia is normal in wolves your age, and you had fairly active teenage years, so it happens. it’s not anything to worry about though, i’ll get you in contact with a fantastic physical therapist! no she specializes in wolf patients. she’s great at what she does, i promise. i’ll get you a month of painkillers but over-the-counter should work alright too. take these, go to therapy, and if it’s still doing that in a month come back and we can try something else.”

- “hey, baby, look at me. i know people are staring at you. you don’t need to care about them. you have just as much right to be here as they do. just ignore them.”

- “no i’m absolutely not mad at you! you can’t control that happening! no it was a full moon what the fuck were you supposed to do? look, i can replace the couch you mauled and the TV and vases you broke but i can’t replace you getting hurt because you tried to stave off the shift. we’ll go shopping for new ones together, ok? and we’ll get some cheap shit you can break for next month and a couple steaks for you to fuck up. i promise i’m not mad- hey get off me you big lug stop fucking licking me your mouth tastes like couch cushions…”

- “it’s actually so real to be worried about hurting your human partner in bed. you won’t hurt her, dude, i’ve known her for years you should be more scared of her than she is of you. they make, like, these rings. it’s like a silicone spacer- no it goes on your dick, idiot. it’s so you don’t like fuck into her cervix or whatever. supposedly those help? idk if they come in wolf sizes though.”

show me the negative stuff, too. show me:

- werewolves who muzzle themselves in cities even though it’s only a first quarter moon because they’re scared they’ll snap and hurt someone even though that fear makes them so careful around everyone they never would

- wolves who have moon trackers on their phone because they need to know when they’re going to get forced into a shift so they can get away from everyone because they don’t want to get violent but they can’t control it and the last time they were around someone she ended up in the hospital. she’s really understanding about it and they’re friends now but it doesn’t make it feel any less horrible

- wolves who get asked every single fucking time they get nice dinner, “so do you want your steak cooked, or what?” by waiters who think they’re funny but really aren’t

- werewolves who walk on eggshells in public because they know if they make any minor mistake or show any aggression whatsoever the pundits on the news will talk about “a werewolf snarled at my kid today. i mean i try to be trusting but you never know with those people. they have those fangs for a reason is all i’m saying.”

- werewolves who are scared to shift in public for the same reason as above, because they know how they’ll be perceived if they show people they’re a wolf

- werewolves who can’t find wolf doctors in their area so they keep going back to human doctors who don’t know how the fuck to treat their unique health conditions and when they complain about this they get a flippant “have you tried a veterinarian?”

- werewolves in therapy because their last relationship was with a human who sucked and it was really bad and that trauma has manifested as resource guarding and reactivity issues and it’s causing problems at work

i love this stuff. i want more. i also cannot write conclusion paragraphs to save my life so this is the end now. thanks for reading all this if you’re reading this.

😊

#not terato #really #speculative fiction #disability #transgender #personality disorder #worldbuilding #werewolf #long fucking thread #terato blog #monster biology post #sort of

[adnauseum11]

I.E.D. (John Price x Reader)

John breaks the news of his imminent departure.

2.2k words

CW: swearing, mild violence, alcohol

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, the Masterlist is pinned to my blog as well.

Feedback welcome!

IED = Improvised. Explosive. Device.

Masterlist

Ao3

It takes less than five minutes for John to completely eviscerate your plans after he returns from his phone call. He’s watching you absorb the news with an infuriating calm expectancy. You can feel your face flush, disbelief and hurt washing over you in equal measure. There’s a dull rushing in your ears, and you have to ask him to repeat himself as you slowly set down the wreath you are unpacking.

“I have to go, tonight, in a few hours.” 

He’s standing close, his hand smoothing over your shoulder and neck, tracking your reaction closely.

“What? You’re leaving? In a few hours?”

You can’t help the shocked whine in your voice as you process this news, even as you hate how needy it makes you sound.

“I can’t say too much but I’m required on a mission, love. I’ll be gone for a few days at least, probably a week.”

His tone is careful, mollifying, which only serves to heighten your distress.

“Out back in the field? You said you turned it down!”

“I did. This isn’t that.”

“Oh…right. Well, then by all means, that makes it fine.”

You can feel your face get hot and the prickle of tears behind your eyes, but you clamp down on that reaction like a dog with a bone. Anger is easier.

“Darling, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear –“

“No shit.” 

You deadpan flatly. John has the good grace to wince, holding his hands up in placating gesture. 

“There’s extenuating circumstances here, love.”

“Since when are you still even entertaining these contracts?”

Your fists clench at your sides, the urge to swing something at his head building with every passing moment of this hideous conversation. You march away from him instead, hoping some distance will help your impulse control. He follows but wisely allows you some space. 

“I’m not, not really. This is different. It’s just… bad timing, darling.”

“You’re really leaving me here at Christmas, alone, with no plans and not even a job to go to? Seriously!? At least there would be other people at work, John! I wouldn’t be forced to be alone! Did you even consider me before you agreed to this!?”

“Darling, this wasn’t planned.”

“But you’re choosing to go.”

“I have to go, it involves me.” 

His temper finally makes an appearance, his whole demeanour becoming unyeilding.

“I’m sorry - I thought I heard you say you were involved. How the fuck are you involved in anything; you’ve been retired for a while now.”

You shake your head, trying to make his words fit with what you know of his life. John hisses a curse, his sudden discomfort with the topic setting off alarm bells in your head. 

“John.”

He drags his palm over his face in a gesture that belies his reluctance.

“John.”

“I’m involved in that it’s tied up with a mission I was on years ago. We thought it was put to rest and I guess… it’s not, anymore.”

He answers finally, his explanation sparse. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation, you can tell by the way he’s holding himself, his back and arms rigid. He rarely discusses his work with you, a topic you have by mutual agreement left well enough alone for years. Your anxiety means you can’t handle hearing the details without spiralling, and the nature of John’s work often precluded any details from being available, a situation that suited you both. Now you’re pulling teeth, trying to get to the bottom of this turn of events, neither one of you used to it. 

“And why do YOU have to go, why not someone else, who is active?”

“I’m part of the group they’re looking for.”

“Looking for.”

You deadpan again, the words sounding hollow as you repeat them back to him. 

“Darling, I can’t really disclose anything, you know that.”

“Right. But someone is looking for you.”

“Someone is looking for the men that were on my taskforce, hence why I am involved, yes.” 

John nods, his jaw tight. You pause to take in this tiny bit of information and a sudden bolt of realization hits you. The man in your apartment hadn’t stolen anything, he’d been looking for something. 

“Were they looking for you in my apartment?”

John’s face falls and you feel your stomach drop. His reaction tells you all you need to know. Some awful part of you can’t help but need to hear the truth from his own mouth, like running a finger over a bruise. 

“Suspect the break-in was related, yeah.” 

His tone is hesitant, but the words rankle all the same.

“Why are people looking for you at my apartment, not here?”

John refuses to answer, staring you down with pressed lips. 

“Why John?”

You repeat yourself forcefully, hands finding your own hips. You can tell the moment John decides to relent, whatever mental math he’s doing not adding up to his liking. 

“Looking for a way to scare me, is the assumption. Use you to hurt me.” 

He finally speaks, his gravelly voice low. A cold chill runs down your spine and you look at the man in front of you with what feel like fresh eyes. Danger lives closer to John than you had ever stopped to fully imagine.

“Were you going to tell me, or let me keep thinking it was a random break in?”

“Darling-“

He starts but stops immediately, reflexively scratching his whiskered cheek in uncertainty. You can read him like a book, instantly piecing together the reason for his hesitancy is he doesn’t like the way the truth sounds. 

“Oh my god, John, I’m so mad at you right now I could spit. What the fuck?”

“I just want you safe, that’s all that matters to me. I didn’t want to frighten you off.”

“So, moving me in here, talking me into quitting my job, all that was to do what?? Keep an eye on me?”

“I want you here. It also happened to be the safest course of action. Both things can be true. And I didn’t talk you in to quitting your job, I just stopped talking you out of it, love.” 

John’s uncharacteristically defensive, a wrinkle between his arched brows.

“You told me to rely on you! And now you’re fucking off over the holidays with no guarantee you’ll make it back! And I’m what – being watched or stalked or something?? And you weren’t going to say anything??”

This time you can’t help yourself from the impulse, grabbing the nearest reindeer figurine off the kitchen island and hurling it in his direction. John easily sidesteps it, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief at your eruption. You grab another figurine but John is on you before you can haul off and throw it, grabbing your wrist.

“Oi! Knock it off!” 

He barks at you, using a voice you’ve not heard turned in your direction before. You drop the deer on instinct but glare at him, your jaw jutting out in anger.

“I don’t have any confirmation that someone is watching you I just prefer to limit the possibilities for vulnerabilities when I’m not there to mitigate them.”

“Fucking speak English, John, I don’t speak military”

 You jerk out of his grip, putting some distance between you again. If you weren’t so agitated you would have an easier time of focusing on what he’s saying but it feels like your heart is sinking through the floor, heavy with disappointment and doubt. Another recent memory asserts itself, hitting you like a sucker punch.

“Oh my god, the pub? You kept saying you were concerned for my safety; I really thought you were just jealous.” 

You can feel the blood drain out of your face, your heart pounding as things slowly shift in to focus. The last few weeks were unrolling in a completely different context for John you are realizing. The sweet and protective gestures taking on a completely new layer of significance.  John holds his hands up, trying to ease closer to you again but you take another step back, feeling the kitchen counter behind you. John stops moving, the expression he’s wearing strange to you. He’s always so confident that the look of uncertainty is alarming on his face, making your thumping heart press against your breastbone painfully.

“I don’t know if that’s related. It’s unlikely. Like I said, nothing is confirmed. Just…playing it safe.” 

John admits, his face settling into worry.  

“You weren’t going to tell me any of this, were you? You were going to keep manipulating me. You just needed to keep tabs on me so I didn’t get caught up in whatever the fuck is going on.”

 It’s not a question, it’s a confirmation.

“That’s not true, of course I want you around. I love you, darling. You wanted to quit. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I just made it safer.” 

John sounds a little desperate, the sound grating and unnatural to your ears. 

“I don’t want to be alone at Christmas, John! I didn’t even know it was a possibility for you to be gone until minutes ago! Now you’re leaving on a mission and I’m what? Just supposed to sit here until you get back? That’s not love, you didn’t consider me at all. If you come back. Oh god.” 

You feel a sweep of nausea and grip your stomach, pitching forward at the waist in discomfort. 

“When I come back, the threat will be neutralized. Not doing all this for fucking maybes.”

“Alright, you know what - yeah you, you should go.” 

You suddenly agree, crossing your arms over your painfully twisted stomach. You can’t remember the last time you were this upset with him, it’s been literal years. John curses under his breath, unable or unwilling to argue with you. He’s immobile, watching you intently for any clue as to your head space. 

“Darling –“

 He’s using a careful tone of voice and reaches for you again but it makes you flinch.

“Don’t John. Just go do what you need to do. It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not fine, darling.”

He retreats, hands on his hips, and you can feel his eyes locked on your face. 

“For the purposes of this conversation, it’s fine.”

There’s an excruciatingly long pause before John responds, his voice soft. You refuse to meet his gaze, staring at the spot the missing reindeer should be in. 

“We’ll talk when I get back, yeah?”

You don’t answer, giving no indication you’ve heard him. Your insides feel like glass, one sharp breath away from shattering. Trying to reconcile the man standing in front of you, who’s been purposely keeping things from you with the man you’re in love with who bends over backwards for you is taking more brain power than you can summon. You’ll be damned if you cry in front of a man who is actively manipulating you. Taking your cue from the ceramic deer lining the island, you freeze in place. 

John either gets the hint or gives up because he leaves you in the kitchen, breathing carefully in the corner of the cabinets. You barely dare to move, everything feeling surreal. You eventually tuck yourself into your spot on the couch, buried under the blanket when John returns, his rucksack slung over a shoulder. He drops it at the door and you track it’s fall, determined to look at something other than the concerned man boring holes into you with his eyes.  

“I don’t want to leave like this. Talk to me please, love.” 

“Don’t, John. This is what you chose.”

“I chose to keep you safe the best way I know how. I didn’t choose for this situation to crop up now, it’s beyond my control. I love you darling, I’m not –“

“You say you love me but you don’t trust me, John. You don’t want to tell me things because your scared of how I’ll react. It’s not fair. You’re making choices that affect me too but I’m not part of the conversation. I just…I’m really pissed with you right now. And I doubt you have time to sort it out.”

You stay tucked under the blanket, your eyes finally meeting John’s across the expanse of the room. You can tell your point lands when his shoulders deflate, his posture shifting. 

“You’re right, I don’t have time.” 

He agrees, crossing the room to stop in front of you. You have to crane your neck to keep your eyes on his face until he bends to kiss you. You realize his intention and turn, giving him your cheek instead of your lips. His palm strokes over your hair before he backs off with a heavy sigh, scooping up his rucksack again. 

“We’ll figure this out when I get back.” 

John gives you one last reluctant look before he closes the door behind him. You can hear the lock turn, and your heart lurches, the finality of the sound chilling.

You spend the rest of the night on the couch, alternating between drinking a bottle of John’s expensive white wine and crying until your face is raw and hurting. You only briefly consider sleeping in John’s big bed alone, the idea so thoroughly off-putting you reject it nearly as soon as it crosses your mind. If anyone had asked you how you pictured your evening ending, face down in the couch cushions, drunk and alone wouldn’t have crossed your mind as a possibility. 

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

#fanfic #captain john price #john price x reader #call of duty #john price #john price cod #john price x f!reader #friends to lovers #captain price #john price x you #cod fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #captain price x reader #captain john price x reader #cw alcohol

[resident-gay-bitch]

My Barty Crouch Jr headcannons:

He’s a kleptomaniac - at least to some degree. I think he can’t help but steal things from the people he loves, like he’s just always taking their shit and he has little collections of his favorite people’s things hidden away in his room

He actually has a massive fucking heart and feels so deeply but he doesn’t let anyone know that because his father kept telling him it wasn’t manly to have emotions so he shuts them all up

Death eater or not - wizards or not - stuck in a war or not - no matter fucking what circumstance Barty would actually kill for those he loves. If someone he cares about comes crying about being hurt he would lash out and hurt them back and he would not hesitate to kill them if granted permission

He’s not the healthiest. He smokes compulsively, if he was alive now he’d also vape like it was his last resort.

His diet is basically energy drinks, chips, and plain pieces of bread. He really doesn’t eat much at all so he’s really skinny to the point where it’s concerning and borderline an eating disorder.

He’s never or will never love anyone to the extent that he loves Pandora. He looked at her one day and just decided she was his entire fucking world. She’s the only one he really opens up too, the only one who sees him cry (before his lover), the first person besides his mum who’s ever hugged him and held him and told him he’s worthy of being loved. He would go to the ends of the earth for her, and he really wishes he could just put her in his pocket and protect her from everything. They are the ultimate besties.

Barty falls for every single one of his friends. Some deeper than others. But he gets crushes on anyone that makes the time for him, listens to what he has to say, and genuinely enjoys his presence. There aren’t many that do, so he genuinely fucking clings.

That man would have the most random fucking tattoos ever. They’re mostly cool as shit. Like he’ll have big scary boy tattoos but then smushed in between scorpions and snakes and like demons with blood he’d just have a little ghost with love heart eyes or something. Most of the random ones are because they’re funny or because Pandora said she liked something so he just got a tattoo of it. He also has her name tattood on his chest.

He has had them most retched mullets in his days. He only gets rid of them when Pandora finally breaks and asks him to grow it out. He somehow still gets bitches with those atrocities though.

If he was alive now, he would definitely own a maid costume and would pull it out at the most random times. Regulus / Evan would fucking thirst over it so much.

Acts like a dom outside the bedroom, the most bottom man ever in the bedroom - but he’s cheeky about it

He just wants to be loved at the end of the day

Would 1000% have a dick piercing. Probably even more than one. He would also have a dick tattoo because he’s stupid

His favorite colours are pale forest greens and sky blues

Socks on at all times when he’s around other people or in active mode. The only time they come off is in the shower or bed, and only if he’s in bed alone. Man’s will be butt ass naked without a care but he will still be wearing his socks. He also only owns dumb socks

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE SOME OF YOURS! come put them all in my ask box <3

I do have more but this is what I’m sharing for now :)))

#Barty crouch jr #jay talks #headcannons #Barty headcannon #Barty & Pandora #slytherin skittles #bartylus #rosekiller #marauders

[professional-idiots]

TBHK Ch.110–Thoughts and feelings

1. I don’t even know what to say about this. LIKE!!?!!?! Especially because Akane always said that supernaturals only ever think about themselves!!! GUYS… I wonder if this is gonna affect him as a character and his outlook on the supernatural (anyway they’re literally siblings and I was sobbing)

2. SOOO CURIOUS ABOUT THIS!!!! What’s the significance?? Is it a functional key? Probably… and if so what does it open?? Maybe it controls the clock somehow???? So many possibilities 😭

3. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. This is my SON. I love him so much and I was so happy natsuhiko went to go find him 😭😭😭😭

4. He trusts him so fully!!! He genuinely thought natsuhiko was coming to save him!! He thought they were—if not friends then at least *friendly* HE THOUGHT HE COULD TRUST HIM

5. When I tell you my heart DROPPED (but I am excited by all this yorishiro talk—more on that later)

6. TBHK character stop shoving strange substances into Mitsuba’s mouth challenge (level: impossible)

7. MYYYY BABY MY BABY YOURE MY BABY SAY IT TO ME!!! IIIII BET ON LOSING DOGGGSSSSS

(AND ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS PREVIOUS ALMOST DEATH)

8. Friendly reminder that Teru is the worst boyfriend ever (he’s actively watching Akane eat shit)

9. I need someone with better media literacy than me to explain what the FUCK is up with these guys bc I feel like I know but like I don’t…. Every time I think I understand shit gets weird again. Like I’m following the story but I cannot analyze this

10. HIS FACCEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭

OK THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING!!! I’m so scared for 111 bc WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN!!!! I have so many theories and ideas and ughughughugh it was so good (even though everything that happened was bad) 8/10 (I’m giving this rating kind of arbitrarily so don’t read into it too much)

So on the yorishiro thing: I think Kou might become Mitsuba’s Yorishiro. Now I know people can become them but can living people… I dunno. However, I think it’s really likely. I’m wracking my brain on what all this Mitsuba would have to value. Not his camera because that was Sousuke’s thing. And if not his camera, then what? Kou is the one thing/person that Mitsuba has grown truly attached to.

So I think next chapter Mitsuba will be dying, but Kou will somehow be able to break from the time thingy (either he wills himself awake—like has a power flare in defense of Mitsuba—or maybe someone helps him—but who 😭) and goes over to Mitsuba and while he’s crying and being all Kou, Mitsuba is gonna like think about Kou (maybe call him his friend for the first time) and somehow in the moment Kou will become Mitsuba’s yorishiro. TRUST GUYS TRUST.

Also on Mitsuba and Kou:

POOR KOU. He looked up to natsuhiko so much when they met right before the severance 😭😭 if he’s close enough, he would’ve SEEN everything happening to Mitsuba.

And also POOR MITSUBA. He trusted natsuhiko!!!!! The good news is that Mitsuba will probably fully shift sides now and possibly make a more direct effort to help Kou Yahsiro and Hanako. Genuinely though, his mom is hurt, *he* is hurt, his friend(ish) betrayed him. My poor baby 😭 why do AidaIro hate himmmm.

I would say something super smart and informed about the twins now, but as I said: nothing about them makes any sense to me.

Ugh I seriously don’t think I can wait till next monthhhhh!!!! If AidaIro lose it and actually kill off Mitsuba…. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. 111 better be good or else 😭

#i have so many thoughts #I will cry if Mitsuba dies #(again) #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako kun #tbhk manga #kou minamoto #mitsukou #mitsuba sousuke #TBHK ch 110 #tbhk theory #thbk ch 111 predictions #jshk hanako

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hello after seeing your post about breaking up with the bros I was wondering if you could please do a hc for the boys finding out that mc fell in love with someone else in the human realm and mc is really happy with their new s/o?

Thank you and have a great day ,and please take your time on writing this💞

This is one of my favorite kinds of prompts - I absolutely live for angst or bittersweet writing. What that says about me, I’m not willing to discuss. I know this is insanely late (got chronically ill) but I hope you see this and that it does your request justice. 

Lucifer: It’s going to be hard for Lucifer to see initially; his ego is as hurt as his heart is. It’s very easy for him to fall into the role of bitter ex-boyfriend who talks about how you’ve absolutely downgraded. You’ve settled for a human partner and one that is not nearly as attractive, smart, charming, talented, etc. He disparages this new partner relentlessly to the point where Diavolo and his brothers know his rant by heart. He would definitely think about trying to win you back, to show you how much happier you would be if you came back to him, but…Lucifer knows that smile on your face. You’ve always seen the best in people and there’s nothing he could ever say that would convince you to leave your new partner so he saves himself the embarrassment of trying to win you back and decides to watch from the background, willing to bide his time until your new partner makes a mistake and he can come sweeping in. 

Mammon: Mammon is heartbroken, there’s no way around it. You’re his and he’s yours, that’s how it has been since the beginning and that’s the way it’s always supposed to be. He has been so good for you, tried so hard, and he knows that you love him. Loved him? Mammon has been pining for you and waiting for you to one day return to the Devildom like he knew that you would and here you are, already moved on and in love with someone new. It makes him feel like he never really knew you at all because if you loved him even half as much as he loved you, you wouldn’t be with someone else. He tries to play off his feelings but everyone around him is aware of his devastation and they’re all doing their best to cheer him but no matter what they buy him or how much Lucifer raises his credit limit, he can’t stop thinking about how he lost the only thing he ever really cared about and feels like the absolute fuck up that everyone’s always told him he was. 

Levi: Levi can’t stand to see it and he’s going to absolutely pull away from your friendship the moment he knows there’s someone else in the picture. He’ll play at normal for as long as he can but he’ll talk to you less and less as he drowns in his self-doubt and fears that you’re only talking to him out of pity while you secretly laugh about the stupid demon who is still hopelessly in love with you when you’re clearly not even interested. Hell, you were probably never interested in the first. You probably couldn’t wait to leave Levi and the Devildom behind and find some super cool, charming normal human who didn’t stutter or spend hours gaming or act like an idiot around you. There’s no way you ever loved him and Levi isn’t going to stick around where he’s not wanted. He goes back to hiding away in his room, swearing off love forever since it’s a stupid normie illusion, and there’s nothing anyone can do. 

Satan: Wrath. It takes Satan several days to get out all of the fury he’s feeling and, honestly, everyone is afraid to be around him until he’s finally settled down. Satan can’t believe that you’ve been able to find someone new, especially someone like that. Satan, like Lucifer, knows he’s the better choice and he doesn’t understand how you’ve not only apparently gotten over him just like that but also chose a partner that was so utterly beneath you. Satan, despite his sin, is rational though and he actively avoids his urge to maimkilldestroy your new partner out of respect and love for you. However, he is keeping an eye on you two and he will make that partner of yours disappear if he gets even a hint of you being mistreated. 

Asmo: Asmo thinks it’s a little cute honestly. You chose a cute new partner and Asmo can understand why you would be attracted to them. Of all people, he understands how attraction and affection aren’t limited or controllable. You’ve been home for a long time with no guarantee you’d come back to the Devildom, he can’t blame you at all for being with someone new. You seem so happy you’re practically glowing with it and Asmo thinks you look as beautiful as ever. However, that doesn’t mean Asmo is going to leave you alone. There’s always room for him, right? You and your partner could potentially even share, depending on how much he ends up liking them. It’s only if you reject Asmo for this new partner that he becomes both outraged and hurt. He can’t fathom you choosing anyone else over him and he’s going to stay your friend if only to wheedle at you constantly and try to temp you back to him. 

Beel: Beel is really just happy that you’re happy. There’s this twinge in his chest when he sees you with someone else and the everpresent hunger in his stomach grows to an almost unbearable sensation as he starts to realize that you will never be his again. You’re gone and you have a new partner that you seem to love. That’s great, it really is. All Beel wants is for you to be happy and well taken care and safe; it seems like you’ve found someone who can give you that. He loves you enough to want you to be happy, wherever and however you find that happiness. As much as he truly believes that, he still can’t stop the pit in his stomach from growing whenever he thinks about you. He eats and eats, more than he has since he first came to the Devildom, but nothing is filling the emptiness inside him and he lives with the scary idea that nothing will ever be able to fill the space that you’ve left behind. 

Belphie: Belphie doesn’t care. You’re just a stupid human. You hung out with his family for a while and you were great to have around for a while, it was…fun. That’s it. They all knew you wouldn’t be around forever and that you’d eventually go home. Belphie, of all the brothers, is the most aware of your humanity; you’re mortal and vulnerable and your time is so limited. Belphie knew to never put much stock in the idea of a future together; he expected this to happen one day and so he’s prepared for it well enough to not react when he sees you with your new partner. But, despite all of his internal preparation, deep down, Belphie feels the loss acutely. He’s reminded of Lilith and the loss of the one of the best people he’s ever known and he feels his walls against humans building back up; he always ends up hurt by them in one way or another. 

If you decide you want the dateables as well (or if anyone does), just let me know! 

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me asks #obey me headcanons #obey me brothers #obey me Lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me Levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie

[charmingsoa]

✶ Where the Wild Things Are: Prequel ✶ ■ 1960s Sons of Anarchy story ■

⌃ Jax Teller/ OC x Thomas Teller/OC ⌃

Warning: Please read with caution. This story will include: drug use, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. miscarriages, sexual content, alcohol use, homicide, cursing, etc. ★ If You would like to be tagged in future updates, simply leave your username in the comments.

When I look back on my life – I often wonder if I made the right choices when I was younger. I obviously got to my place in life because of what happened all those years ago in California. Hell, there were times when I didn’t even think I would make it out alive. Growing up, my parents were very strict – almost authoritarian. My father had fought for his country in WWII and my mother was your typical housewife. The picture-perfect look was what they strived for – putting my brothers and I in whatever activities they could. There were structured rules that were drilled into our heads from day one.

No elbows on the table Respect your parents and your elders Girls and woman are to bow down to menfolk and do what they’re told. Women are forbidden to wear pants or short skirts. Girls can attend secondary school but will not be allowed to attend college. Marriage, motherhood, and the act of obeying your husband is the most important role in a woman’s life.

I distinctly remember my father telling me that if I wanted to dress like a whore, I can plant myself on the side of the highway and start making a living for myself. I spent most of my childhood bowing down to everything my father said. He instilled that fear in me as a young girl – always being on the back end of his belt or switch if I was “bad” enough. I was the only daughter – I needed to be picture perfect and like a doll. My mother would stand idly by as he inflicted his abuse on me – only doing so because he loved and cared about me.

Total bullshit if you ask me.

I guess you can say with all the structure and ruling that fell at the hand of my father – you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I rebelled. Starting at the early age of 13, I snuck out of the house to meet the boys from the wrong sides of the tracks. We would listen to the devil’s music as my father called it – getting high as kites.  My flower-patterned dress would be hiked up above my waist – my legs wrapped tightly around the guy’s hips – as they pounded into me. My mother always preached that a girl should stay pure until the night of their wedding -giving the gift of virginity to their awaiting husband.

 I lost that gift behind the First Methodist Church to a kid three grades ahead of me. It was meaningless and hurt like hell, but after that I couldn’t get enough.

By the time I hit 16, I had fucked half the senior class. I gained a reputation as the 10th grade slut – willing to do anything and anyone. Now, was this true – partially. I didn’t care if you were the ugliest guy in class – if you had a dick then I was ready and willing. I was never one to seek the guys out first. They would come to me and a couple minutes later they would be making me cum. There were rumors that I was a child prostitute – my parents were less than thrilled to hear that be brought up during a meeting with the principal.

At that point, I was pulled out of the school and sent to an all-girls catholic school about 45 minutes from home. My father made sure to drive me every day and would stay on the premises until school was over. Even if I wanted to ditch class and run away, Roy Landry was watching like a fucking hawk. I managed to mellow out a little once I graduated high school – I guess being locked up like Rapunzel will do that to people. I wasn’t allowed to go to prom – parties thrown by the other girls - I was isolated in my room. While my brothers were living their lives, I was stuck watching Walter Cronkite on the CBS Evening News with Brenda and Roy ever night.

I’m sure you’re trying to figure out where I’m going with all this information – I swear it’s important given the truth you’re about to hear.

A girl who hitchhiked all the way to California- fell in love with two brothers who despised each other – watching as they both fell into the pits of hell by creating the most dangerous motorcycle gang in Northern Cali – my story has to start somewhere, right?

#jax teller imagine #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin butler #benny the bikeriders #the bikeriders imagine #the bikeriders #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #1960s #Spotify

[mageofseven]

Hi there! I love your blog; I found it in 2022 and fell in love with your writing, and was disappointed to see you weren’t active anymore. I stumbled across you again when a mutual reblogged one of your more recent fics, and I’m so happy to see you’re back (and indeed alive)!

If it’s possible, could I request headcanons or a scenario (whichever you prefer) for poly!mc (who is dating all 7 brothers. And the dateables if you feel like it) announcing they’re pregnant, but bc they���ve been sleeping with all of the boys, they have no clue who the father is? I totally understand if you don’t want to write this.

Haha, yes I am alive. I had to leave for multiple reasons; one being the most common reason: life, man 😅

Still, thank you so much for checking out my stories even when I was away! It's always good to hear that people get enjoyment out of the things I write.

Also, another Nonnie recently requested some poly!MC where they date the brothers so I think they'll be happy to read this too~

I think I will add the unDatables to this as well because I've developed an extra strong love for them lately 🥰💕

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

How MC Found Out:

MC discovered she was pregnant through Simeon.

Angels have a special the ability to sense life (or in this case, pre-life) and this man had been sensing something different within the human for a few weeks now.

When he discovered that the blurry feeling attached to MC was a baby though, he didn't know how to bring it up.

He didn't know how his Feather would feel about her condition, but assumed that if she wanted a child, she would have brought up with at least one of the men that she loved so dearly.

The angel could just sense that this would be hard on her

And he was right.

MC cried into his embrace, scared of how the other men would react.

No matter how much she thought about it, the human couldn't pinpoint which man could be the father. I mean, it's not like she writes down in a notebook every time she sleeps with one of them.

And what if the one who is the father doesn't want their baby? Or what if the others are upset because its not theirs? Or...what if none of them wanted to be with her now that she'll be a mom?

He reminded her that the other men were good people who loved her just as dearly as he did.

MC had to tell the others and Simeon was going to support her every step of the way.

With Simeon's help, she gathered all of the men at HoL and tearful announced that she was pregnant, that someone in this room was going to a father.

Lucifer:

The only emotion he let show on his face was shock

But there was so much more swirling around in his chest.

The idea that this child could be his truly scared him.

I mean, he's already a father...and a terrible one at that, he felt.

He did not want this baby to be his; he did not want a second child to risk hurting.

Still, if this child was his then he wouldn't abandon them; abandon MC.

Regardless of whose child they are, Lucifer was going to be there for his Love no matter what.

Summary? This man is scared shitless and doesn't want the child, but is ready and willing to support MC.

Mammon:

"What??"

Unlike Lucifer, he is obviously upset.

I mean, MC is freakin' pregnant.

And that means either he's gonna be a dad and has to get his shit together

Or one of the others, even one of his own brothers, knocked up his Human and honestly, he's not okay with that.

Yeah, he knows this poly relationship thing means he has to share his girlfriend but he did not sign up for one of his brothers to knock up MC.

Honestly has no fucking clue what he wants.

I mean, yeah, he's always kinda wanted a kid, but not now.

One look at the tears flowing down his girlfriend's cheeks though was all he needed to toss all of that that complicated shit aside and promising her that she doesn't gotta worry because The Great Mammon is gonna be here for her no matter what.

Summary: Scared, confused, but has MC's back just like always.

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Which, in fairness, happens a lot because of this women

But it's not funny this time!

Like Mammon, he's both terrified of it being his kid and not being his kid.

Unlike Mammon though, the third brother isn't sure he could handle it if the baby turns out not to be his.

Honestly, he's not too sure what he'd do if the baby's not his.

Hell, he's not sure what he'll do if it is.

This man just wants to hide away in his room indefinitely.

Summary: PANICKING, doesn't think he wants the kid, just wants to hide away.

Satan:

This is one of the last things the wrath demon wants to hear, but he also acknowledges that this was bound to happen at some point.

I mean, he's not exactly found of children.

Even if this child isn't his, the man still has the issue of his Kitten becoming a mom and essentially making him a step dad.

As much as he hates the idea, he acknowledges that this is the best alternative.

Leaving MC over this is not even an idea that the fourth brother is humoring

But he'd also rather that the child not be of his flesh and blood.

Has decided to never let MC hear such thoughts from him though.

Summary: logical but adverse, does not want the child to be his, but will stay by his Kitten's side no matter what.

Asmodeus:

Immediately runs up to his Dolly to hug her

And kisses her tears away.

Promises her that everything will be okay and this is a happy thing!

Plus, he'll be by her side through it all, no matter what!

Tries to get the other men in the room to speak up too and tell her everything is fine

Because hello! Crying MC over here! Get your priorities in order!

Summary: Worried about MC, will be happy regardless of whether the child is his or not, and is fiercely supportive.

Beelzebub:

Boy's brain is buffering

Like he was so confused at first about why his Muffin was so upset.

Like, there's gonna be a baby here in HoL! How can that not be a happy thing?

Then he remembered how his twin dislikes kids and realized that he doesn't know how the other men feel about them.

Suddenly becomes very upset for MC and walks up to give her a big hug

But is very mindful about how tight he hugs her because he understands that his Muffin is basically a walking plus one right now so he needs to be gentle.

Tells her that he's here for her and her baby no matter what.

Yes, Beely would love it if the baby was his own, but will still love this child if it's not because it's his Muffin's.

Summary: Confusion melts into concern, wants the baby to be his but will love it even if its not, agrees with Asmo that MC is the priority and wants everyone to be on the same page.

Belphegor:

"You gotta be kidding me."

Believes this is one of the worst things to happen to him

And is now becoming paranoid that maybe he's the one who fucked up.

I mean, they always used protection, but those runes aren't foolproof.

All it could have took was his hand to be just slightly sloppy when drawing the rune below her navel beforehand for the whole thing to be faulty

And the sloth demon didn't always check his work, so to speak.

Does not, under any circumstances, want this kid to be his.

Hell, he doesn't want this kid to exist at all.

But that's not his decision and he knows this.

He felt like things were going so good and now its ruined.

Still...the man was still indebted to her. He killed his Human once before and it was the worst mistake of his life.

He can't take it back; that's why aims to just make her happy

So this man isn't going anywhere, no matter how miserable he gets.

Summary: angry at himself and paranoid, does not want the child at all, but is going no where while his Human needs him.

Diavolo:

The prince's initial feeling was excitement.

I mean, MC's pregnant! He could be a dad!

And honestly, this man would love nothing more than to have a child with his Queen.

He understands why MC is upset and is very vocal with comfort, telling her that she'll get through this, that they will all get through this.

Another man that would be okay with the child not being his.

Don't get him wrong; he wants that child to be his so badly

But will also be accepting if it turns out that they're not.

If the child is not his, he will still be good them to them and his Queen

But also plans on asking MC in the future if she could give him one of his own.

Please MC, make this man a Daddy 🥺

Summary: Excited and tries to help the situation, really wants the baby to be his, stands by his Queen no matter what.

Barbatos:

Pursed his lips at the news, but ultimately says nothing.

Is pained just by seeing his Dear's tears, but hesitates to step forward and comfort her because of the other men already doing so.

This situation was one of the reasons why he wasn't too pleased about this poly relationship.

The butler didn't necessarily mind sharing his girlfriend with the other men

Nor did he mind that her baby might have been conceived with one of the other men.

What he did mind, however, was just how spread thin she seemed some days.

MC put so much effort in keeping the peace and trying to keep things fair for the men, even when it became mentally exhausting

So for her to be made afraid of the very reactions of the men who could have been the one to have brought her into this situation?

Grows a bit of resentment towards some of the others.

Barb couldn't hold much sympathy for them while knowing all that MC has done for them.

Will stick by her and her child no matter what.

Hopes that this child is not his, but only because his power to see into the future is genetic and when you lack the skill to control it, it can be mentally torturous.

Barb would never wish such a thing on a child hence why he'd prefer it to not be of his blood.

Summary: Concerned for MC and resentful of the men who are making this worse for her, does not want the child to be his because of a genetic issue, but is prepared to take care of MC and the child.

Solomon:

Frowned upon hearing this announcement.

It wasn't because of the pregnancy though.

In truth, the sorcerer was more or less ambivalent about children.

I mean, he did well enough with them and got along well with Luke

But its never exactly been a priority to have his own.

Honestly, Soli didn't even mind the idea of his little Minx carrying the baby of another man; I mean, they all agreed to share her and things like this happen sometimes.

What bothered him was how upset she was.

Told his little Minx that there was nothing to be afraid of.

There's this saying that it takes a village to raise a child and in truth, MC had quite the village in front of her.

Things will work out; it will just take some time.

Summary: Concerned for MC, does not care if the child is his or not, prepared to weather through this storm with his little Minx.

Simeon:

Kept an arm around her while she broke the news to the others.

The angel wished he could take her suffering away, but could only stand with her as she cried.

Has never stopped supporting her since the moment he sensed her pregnancy and will continue to support her.

These other men, many of whom he'd consider a friend, surely will understand.

The situation is difficult, yes, but MC needs them all now more than ever.

Does not truly stop to consider if this child is his or not.

Angels generally don't procreate. Then again, that is because the method of doing so is forbidden in the Celestial realm.

Yes, he and MC have a pretty active bedroom life

And yes, he has just as much of a chance of being the father as the other men

But such thoughts have not even occurred to him yet because he's been so focused on MC and her feelings.

Still, if the child does end up being his, he will love it dearly.

If the child ends up not being his, he will still love it dearly.

This child is his Feather's after all so he will make sure they grow up safe and loved.

Summary: Solely focused on MC's wellbeing, hasn't realized the fact that he himself could be this child's father, will fervently support the woman during this hard time.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me mc

[cock-holliday]

I Know What Butch Is

I know what butch is. I know, and I’m going to tell you, so listen up and take notes. First of all, butch is a noun. And an adjective. And a verb.

Butches only ever wear jeans and boots, except if they’re wearing suits, and they keep their hair clipped down to a flattop you could putt off. Except if they have to for work. Or if they want to for sex. Or if they want to for some other reason. But otherwise it’s denim and leather and butch wax, kid, and don’t you forget it. Unless you’re vegan.

Toughness, even at the expense of gentleness, is a butch trait. Butches are outlaws. Also gentlemen. Gentlemen who open doors and pick up checks and say “after you” and hold your umbrella over you in the rain while the water drips down their sleeves. But butches not gentlemen if being a gentleman means imposing on the unsuspecting their sexist modes of acting out the cultural paradigm of the helplessness of women. Except if the unsuspecting are crying and need a handkerchief, or elderly and need a seat to sit down in, then it’s all right. Probably. But butches should never wait for a femme to tell them specifically that it is all right to behave in a gentlemanly fashion, they should just go ahead and do it because femmes like a butch with confidence, unless it turns out that she finds it offensive and feels as though you have imposed your gender fetish on her, you arrogant bastard.

And butches are monosyllabic, until you get to know them, which they will not allow but want, or will allow and want, or will allow but don’t want, or won’t allow and don’t want, so you may or may not get to know them, but you should try, or not. But butches are monosyllabic because all that talking is girl stuff, you know? Butches grunt in answer to questions; they speak sharply and emphatically. They do not share, process, or explain because these are activities that bring nothing but trouble, unless they are bringing relief to the troubled heart of a butch carrying around too much hurt or pain, though butches do not actually feel pain; they’re tough enough to either slough it off like dead skin or deal with all of that themselves. Unless someone wants for them to be emotionally available, in which case they can feel their feelings even though the presence of feelings is suspect in the first place, but they must stop immediately as soon as someone else is having a tough time so that all their resources can be directed to soothing that person.

I know what butch is. Butches are not beginner FTMs, except that sometimes they are, but it’s not a continuum except when it is. Butch is not a trans identity unless the butch in questions says it is, in which case it is, unless the tranny in question says it isn’t, in which case it’s not. There is no such thing as butch flight, no matter what the femmes or elders say, unless saying that invalidates the opinions of femmes in a sexist fashion or the opinions of elders in an ageist fashion. Or if they’re right. But they are not, because butch and transgender are the same thing with different names, except that butch is not a trans identity, unless it is; see above.

Butches are always tops. They always fuck the girls, and, for that matter, their partners are always girls; there is no such thing as a butch who is attracted to men. Well, transmen, but that’s just butch-on-butch repackaged as faggotry. But no non-trans-men. Unless the butch in question is a non-trans-man, then it’s okay. Except that non-trans-men cannot be butches, because butch is a queering of gender that assigned-male people cannot embody, unless they occasionally can, in which case they have to be gay men. Or the partners of femmes. Or not. But no one with an assigned-female body can be a butch and do it with assigned-male men. Unless they’re femmes. Or butches. I’m really putting my foot down on this one.

I know what butch is, and butches definitely, absolutely, do not get fucked, even if it feels so good to have someone slide in sweet and hard and rock them just right. They might eat pussy but they never suck cock, because licking pussy is chivalry without pants, and, of course, any butch would want to do anything to please the femme in hir life, if there is a femme. Which there has to be, in order to be a true butch, except if there does not have to be, but you cannot be a misogynist about it either, which a lack of interest in femmes and their attendant delights may be read as—if there is a lack, which there shouldn’t be. But anyway, cocksucking is about ownership and dominance, so butches must always be the ones having their cocks sucked, unless the owner of the cock being sucked by a butch is tied to something, but if a butch were tying down someone with a cock of some variety then the above rule would quite likely be violated, and I think I’ve been very clear about that, so never mind.

Butch has a lot of privilege because butches pass as men a lot, and butches also have a lot of privilege in the queer community because butch reads as queer and femme doesn’t always, and being able to pass to keep one’s self safe isn’t privilege if you’re a femme but it is if you’re a butch. Unless this is a butch who can pass as a heteronormative woman, in which case ze’s not really a butch anyway because no butch could do such a thing. Except that some of them can and also having kids really helps, even though no butch could have kids because of the rule about not getting fucked and also because that’s a femme’s job, but not everyone really understood their butchness all the way along and also sometimes there are fertility issues and also sometimes there’s not a femme so we’ll grandfather in some children but we’ll be suspicious of those butches. Unless they’re really great butch dads of whatever sex, in which case we’ll think it’s the damn cutest thing in the world and punch them on the arm, or if they’re awesome butch moms we’ll make approving comments about their ability to raise feminist men, but otherwise no children and no heteronormativity for sure, except for assigned male butches who do not exist.

Besides all of that, the butch pays. If there’s only one butch on the date. Unless the femme wants to. If there’s a femme present. If there’s a femme present, the butch pays unless hir paying would upset the femme or unless it creates class issues for the butch or patriarchy issues for the femme. Or if it’s two butches on a date, which they shouldn’t be. Or they should. In any case, they arm-wrestle for it. Except in such situations in which a public display of aggression on the part of butches, or an interaction which may be read as such, could potentially be detrimental to the community, to the mental health of those witnessing the act, to the butches themselves for feeling compelled to act out normative masculine-gendered conflict-resolution tactics, or to the glassware of the dining establishment, which so often gets broken. But otherwise, the butch always pays, and there’s just no getting around that.

I know what butch is. Butches are a brotherhood, or possibly a sisterhood, which would be a marvelous way to reclaim butch’s roots in the lesbian community except some butches were never part of the lesbian community and some were but aren’t any more, but placing masculine identities on butches is disrespectful, except when it’s desirable, but anyway, butches are a tribe, a tribe of people who have been maligned endlessly for, and in fact forged an identity in part out of, not fitting the gendered expectations of the culture in which they exist (until or unless they work to pass as men, which always or never or sometimes happens and is absolutely a great or problematic thing), so butches are very open to gendered variations in others and would never, ever try to make another butch feel like shit for having displayed a behavior which does not fit the microculture’s standard of what it means to be a butch, which is a useful or idealized or ridiculous or just plain complicated standard, so it should be adhered to, or critiqued, or aspired to, or not. Butches would also certainly never try to school younger butches in ways that are angry and dangerous because they feel like the process of toughening has disappeared from modern culture and butches need to be tough, dammit. Butches who do those sorts of things either are Real Butches or are Not Real Butches, depending who you ask.

There, that should be perfectly clear.

—S. Bear Bergman, Butch Is A Noun

#s. bear bergman #butch is a noun #butch #butch books #queer books #reposting as its own post #I tell people all the time to read it and link it everywhere #but HERE it is! in print! not images! no pdf screenshots no book scans! you’ve got no excuse now!

[thewayuarent]

Perfect victim Sand

(Except he’s not)

Sand is a quite interesting case to study. There are a lot of things to love about him and trust me I do. But. He is the closest thing we have in this show to the perfect victim idea. I mean, even Force jokes about it (god I love this man).

The thing is, I have a strong feeling that huge part of the fandom literally adopted him. Like you know, compensating him absent mommy and daddy. His mother is great woman, she’s loving and caring, but she is far from an actual parental figure - @emotionallychargedtowel made a great analysis on that topic and how it clearly influenced Sand.

Maybe that’s something about Sand being genuinely loving and caring character himself. Maybe it’s because we spend 5 episodes with him being absolutely adequate and not minding others business and by the moment of episode 6 the idea of Sand was already formed. Maybe it’s about Ray pulling Sand through a lot of shit. Maybe it’s something about First’s babygirl vibes, amazing microexpressions and his big boba eyes that easily penetrates the soul. Maybe it’s all the above and more.

But Sand gets the most I’ll protect him by all cost vibes (I get it, I want to protect him too, he’s my sad stupid baby, how can I not). And while it’s understandable to some degree, it doesn’t mean Sand is a victim in every situation he himself, series or fandom try to apply on him.

And yes, it’s specifically about Sand and Top beef. While we don’t know the full story yet, we know the basis: Sand had a lover, this lover cheated on him with Top. Right? Except that in Sand’s mind this story looks a bit different.

Not once, but twice Sand claims that Top “stole his lover”. And I’m sorry to bring it to you, my precious sad baby with big beautiful eyes, but your lover is a human being. They’re not a car, or watch, or a cow. They are a person. And as a person they make decisions.

Unless we’ll find out that Top literally put a bag on their head and dragged them away into his basement, Top didn’t stole anyone. This person cheated on you. It sucks, I get it (Mew probably gets it even better than me). It hurts a lot. It’s absolutely not Sand’s fault. But it’s not Top’s fault either.

Yes, hitting on someone’s lover is a douche move (if Top knew about Sand and didn’t care and I wouldn’t surprised but we don’t know for sure). Yes, Top is an arrogant jerk who behaves like a toxic bitch with anyone except for Mew. Yes, in that hospital scene I kind of wanted to punch him in his hot smug face.

But Sand’s lover cheating is not his responsibility.

And Sand’s choice of actions is stealing and spreading fucking revenge porn. Where is not only Top he hates so much but also Boston who did to Sand what? Made an ugly scene on his birthday and ruined his whatever it was with Ray? Bitchy behavior 100%, but not on, you know, illegally recorded sex tape level.

He regrets it later, but two people he apologized to - rightfully so - are Ray and Nick. Not, you know, Boston for example.

I mean, how the thing Sand did with Top is different from the thing Mew did with Boston? In details - yes. In motivation and general action - the same shit.

And I know that the majority of saving Sand agenda is directed towards his relationship with Ray. I get it. I feel it (I have a very complicated mix of very complex feelings about that one but I digress). But I do feel that Sand isn’t criticized enough for his actions towards Top (and Boston).

Compare it with the amount of criticism towards:

1. Nick recording and using TopBoston footage;

2. Boston recording and using RayMew footage;

3. Mew stealing and using Boston footage;

The only person I doubt here to criticize hard is Ray cause while he got and resend this fucking sex tape and I do think it was wrong I kind of understand his situation. I mean he did receive it passively not actively and I doubt Mew believed him without proof. It still sucks from his side to use it and I don’t forgetting him but he was kind of a tool not a participant so yeah.

All of them are clearly wrong and deserve discussion about their behavior and all the critique they get. But so as Sand. The thing is, Sand is not a victim of Top.

Top is a victim of Sand.

And it’s absolutely not about Top being good or bad or Sand being good or bad it’s really about humans being complex and depending on that specific situation. It’s always about complexity and context.

Sand is, if generalizing, a good person. But he also selfish by some degree and categorical and has some deep trauma over his ex lover. And he does fucked up stuff.

That’s why I found Sand’s attitude towards Mew especially interesting. With MewTop situation he probably didn’t really care but at some level had a sense of justice. In his eyes, Mew is as victim of Top as he was. So Mew deserves to know the truth.

But with MewRay? And that’s where the fun (and also clear speculations) begins. Sand doesn’t have a beef towards Mew about Ray loving him and prioritizing him over Sand, at least for now. Maybe because he learned something through his last relationship, but with his behavior towards Top I doubt it. It’s probably partially because Ray is technically not his lover or boyfriend or monogamous partner - he doesn’t owe Sand anything and while he’s angry and sad he understands that.

But it may also be about the Mew technically being there first. You know, how Sand was with his lover until Top appeared. Ray loved Mew way before he even knew Sand exists. It’s actually Sand in this analogy who takes Ray away from Mew (not that he knew about it or Mew cared but you get my point). So Sand doesn’t blame Mew for being with Ray. He probably - understandably so - blames Ray for playing with his feelings and also blames himself for falling into it.

And now here is a part when I just speculate about cool plot line we’d probably never get so feel free to stop reading now. Like for real. So Sand is fine with Mew and, honestly, good for him. My question is: if Sand will buy this RayMew relationship thing. And then Ray gets back to him. Will he resist temptation?

We have a small chance that Sand will get some self respect and won’t take Ray back immediately, of course. But in a case of Mew. If Sand is stupid enough to believe there is something happening between Ray and Mew from Mew’s side, will he stay away cause of respect towards Mew and their relationship? Or will he “play Top card” and - how was it? - steal Ray to himself?

Cause oh my lord he wants Ray for himself. He can agree with Nick and his “I don’t want be his first and only it’s enough to be with him” as much as he wants but we all know that even Nick doesn’t really think so. Sand probably also doesn’t want to deal with Ray at all by that point but totally opposite desires can coexist.

It would be really interesting to watch his internal conflict about being better person but still losing to his desire plays out but I really doubt Mew and Ray will last long enough to us see it.

#ofts #only friends the series #only friends #only friends meta #only friends sand #I swear I see someone saying Sand didn’t do anything wrong ONE MORE TIME #I will explode #maybe I should stop using dead bird app and that’s all #but for real #please we all understand that I’m talking here about one specific topic and he is way more complex than just that right?