#it fucking sucks. if someone came up to me and said oh cp is a copy of like idk scxrlettwxtches' throne of roses i would be mad

[chaninfused]

readers need to understand that no writer on here owns a genre, layout, or style of writing. we own our storylines, but even then, they might overlap with someone else’s. 

#i might come off a bit rude so dont read the rant ahead if you're easily offended #i'm actually fed up seeing all these blogs gets accused of ''copying'' a bigger blog simply because they had a similar au #and that similar au would be some domestic college au 😐 #like no shit? 😭 ofc its gonna be similar to someone else's do y'all realize how many college aus there are on this site? #so yeah next time if you read a college au or some other popular au and think oh this is similar to xyz by said writer #think to yourself. did this person copy a world made from scratch? #if no then the chances of them copying someone else's work are practically gone #you cant seriously think someone's gonna copy (not steal word for word) a college au 🤦‍♀️ #that au in itself is so overdone you are BOUND to see similarities in plotlines #people however like to steal an entire work. that is possible yes. but i dont think anyone in their right mind would go and #paraphrase an entire soundcloud rapper jisung au ??? #it hurts to see yknow as a writer myself #seeing people's efforts get disregarded bcs someone thought oH !! THiS iS KiNdA LiKE THIs otHeR FiC By thIS VErY WeLL KnOWn BLOg !!1! #it fucking sucks. if someone came up to me and said oh cp is a copy of like idk scxrlettwxtches' throne of roses i would be mad #people put so much effort into planning and writing and when you see a vague resemblance to another fic and start blabbering abt it like #you're gonna bust some criminal or smth you look and sound bad #so dont do it. again. no one here owns a basic au like college or underground rapper. no one owns ANY au !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #people own their storylines people own their WORLDS. these are things that require personal creativity time effort and research #anyw idk if im making sense it just upsets me 🤐 #furat iskiti 🖇️ #to be deleted

[enaykudisi]

So I get home and my little sister said "CPS came for me today. Apparently someone told them mom is giving me drugs"

Me: oh? How'd that go

LS: well they might be back. Dad got really angry and wouldn't let them look around the house and yelled at the guy to leave

We shot the shit for a bit before I went inside. Mom heard me come in and met me in my room.

Mom: so did your sister tell you?

Me: um I got the jist I guess

Mom: yeah, well someone told them I've been giving her marijuana, and I told him no. I said I tell my kids when they're old enough and want to try drinking or whatever that I want them to do it here, where they're safe. He asked where I keep my medicine at, and asked about the bruise on my arm and I told him it's from a blood draw

Me: i heard dad wigged out?

Mom: yeah. He asked for dad's birthday and dad said that's his personal information, then started yelling when the guy wanted to come inside. Dad told him to come back with a warrant.

Mom: I love my kids i feel like I've been neglecting you all now. I should be spending more time with your little sister

Me: *deliberately says nothing*

Mom: *hugs me* I would never-

(I don't know what she was going to say here)

Later on my aunt drops by and mentions to me that mom is really freaking out about this

—so i guess mom is getting to really soak this drama up. She's the innocent good mother and cps is trying to steal her child from her.

— its infuriating that mom thinks just being around her kid more would equal no neglect. Like you can be next to your kid while you tell them you're not getting them healthcare.

—i would bet so much that she's telling people she would never give her kids drugs. Even though she has. I was cleaning the buds off her pot plants when I was a teen and she payed me in pot to do it.

—i'm not surprised dad flipped out. I doubt cps will come back, but it would be nice to see him face a consequence for being a raging abusive fuck for once. But cps sucks and has no legal power without proof of danger. It would be funny though if dad raging out is the proof of danger and that cps dude does come back with a warrant. I guess that's fucking pointless though cus there's no chance dad would see himself as anything but a victim here.

#Personal #Cps #Ptsd #Cptsd #Child abuse #Drugs

[violetsmoak]

Tabula Rasa [7/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20183281/chapters/49466486

Blanket Disclaimer:

Summary: Tim and Jason have known they are soulmates for years, though neither has said anything about it. Tim thinks Jason doesn’t know and is just trying to live with it. Jason thinks Tim knows but doesn’t care, which is fine with him, he thinks the soulmate thing is a crock anyway. But one night, a minor mishap forces them to confront the issue head-on, leading to a series of events no one could have predicted.

Rating: PG-13 (Rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #soulmate aversion #secret identity 

First Chapter

Author’s Note(s): In which as time passes, Jay's not having an easy time coping with all this soulmate stuff, and Tim's still trying to figure everything out. And Alfred is his usual awesome self.

________________________________________________________________

“Forget almost being assassinated, how did he not die just from tripping over something in the dark, or eating expired food?” Jason asks as he looks around the disaster zone that is Tim Drake’s apartment. There are takeout containers and empty coffee cups covering every surface, and clothing soiled with dirt and blood and what looks like sewer sludge strewn across the floor. Packaging and bubble wrap twist around the legs of tables and extension cables create startlingly effective tripwire traps. “Can’t you people afford a maid service?”

“Surely even you aren’t so thick that you don’t understand why that would be a bad idea,” Damian points out as he walks in behind him, carrying several large boxes from the local hardware depot. As he deposits them, he surveys the apartment with something more like horror than disgust. “This is the residence of the man my grandfather considers his equal?”

“He’s not usually this bad,” Dick says with a sigh as he closes the door behind him with one hand and deposits his own burden of packages. His eyes rove across the open concept living area with a worried expression. “I was here like three weeks ago and it was spotless. I mean, his room was a disaster zone, but that’s just Tim. Messy genius, you know?”

“If this is how he lives, perhaps the social workers are correct that he needs a more qualified minder.”

Dick ignores that. “I don’t get it. It’s like he just gave up. What the hell happened?”

Jason remains quiet; he has a nasty suspicion he knows exactly what made Tim stop caring.

Whatever, I’m making up for it now, aren’t I? In fucking spades…

He’s been avoiding Tim’s apartment for weeks now, stubbornly squatting in different buildings every night or shelling out for a motel when he wants an actual bed or shower. But the last few days he found several itching bites on his skin, and hell no. He swore when Bruce took him in, he was done with bedbugs and lice and any other critter that can be found in questionably cleaned bedding.

As luck would have it, Dick was on his way over here with Damian to install handicap bars in Tim’s bathroom and check the place over for any other chores or tasks that needed doing.

“I still don’t see the point of that,” Jason says, nodding at the boxes of tools and components. “In what universe do you see B letting Tim leave the manor any time in the next year or so? Even when he gets his memories back.”

“It’s a compliance thing,” Dick informs him. “Now that Tim’s making actual strides in recovery, social services will be coming at some point to check that everything is set up for his rehabilitation if he chooses to come here. If it’s not done, it won’t look good.”

“That chick’s still pushing this?”

“Oh yeah. She keeps coming up with new requirements she insists be filled. Independent psych evaluations, bi-monthly physicals performed by state doctors—she even wants him to attend mandatory rehabilitation at some government facility in Blüdhaven.”

“What? Why there?”

“Aside from the fact Gotham’s mental health infrastructure is riddled with the criminally insane?”

“Fair…”

“Babs looked into her and it looks like Bruce had the right idea. Gillian Sato’s a nobody. Completely average in everything, trying to make a name in her department by going after a big fish. And you know that Bruce has been CPS’ great white whale since he took me in. You too.”

“I remember,” Jason says with a scowl.

It was shortly after he was taken in by Bruce. He had just started as Robin, was beginning to see Bruce and Alfred as family and the manor as home. And then some do-gooder social worker with the ‘best intentions’ and a dislike of Brucie Wayne exploited a technicality that let her remove Jason from the Wayne household. The next weeks and months dragged Jason through such an emotional wringer that his already abundant trust issues increased by orders of magnitude. Even before he and Bruce started to butt heads later, Jason would never truly be at ease in the manor ever again.

Or anywhere, really.

People let you down. People left. People could be taken away from you. These were the facts of life, and Jason vowed never to forget them again.

It’s yet another reason he’s so resistant to the idea of soulmates. Having one just makes it easier to be let down or to have them taken away. Hell, he’s seen that firsthand, hasn’t he? A simple errant bullet and he almost had to watch his die. He can’t even imagine what this whole ordeal would feel like if he was close to Tim.

Lost in his thoughts, it takes him a moment to realize Dick is still talking.

“…her higher-ups barely know anything about her. Most of them are willing to let this thing with Tim go, but she’s the one who keeps pushing it. Poking for loopholes whenever she hits a new roadblock.”

“So have Barbie make her go away,” Jason suggests.

“And give support to the idea Bruce Wayne is above the law because of his money?” Dick challenges. “That would put a lot more attention on the issue than anyone wants. For now, we just play it the legal way. Once Tim’s eighteen, she’ll have lost a major avenue to exploit.”

“Which means you guys have to put up with her trying to wrap you in red tape for the next four months at least.”

“This is ridiculous,” Damian mutters.

“I know.”

“Not that—although yes, this farce of legal compliance is a waste of everyone’s time. But I’m talking about how no one has done anything about Drake’s condition other than wring their hands.”

“Excuse me?!”

“If we’re ever going to go on with our lives, he must be fixed, and faster than some useless stretching is going to do.”

“Kid, how exactly do you think your dad got back to fighting condition after Bane broke his back?” Jason questions. “‘Useless stretching’ was a big part of it.”

“And a hell of a lot of drive,” Dick adds. “Which Tim doesn’t really have enough of right now. I mean, I know he wants to get better, but it’s not the same as if he knew who he was.”

“Exactly. He would already be walking, I’m sure,” Damian nods. “Then you’re in agreement with me.”

“Well, yeah—wait. What am I agreeing with?” Dick asks, suspicious.

“Through my observations of the situation, I have determined that Drake is unlikely to ever regain full functionality or his memory. The easiest way to fix this would be a Lazarus Pit. I happen to know of one in Cuba.”

“Holy no Batman!” Dick cries. “Did you forget what happened when I tried doing that for Bruce?”

“It would be different in this case, since we know for sure that it’s Drake and not a decoy,” Damian argues. “At least, the body bit. And Todd recovered from brain damage thanks to the Pit.” He considers Jason. “Well. More or less. I did not know you before, therefore I have no basis of comparison.”

“And you also missed the murderous rampage that happened afterward,” Jason growls. “Not being able to control yourself sucks. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Even Tim.

Especially not Tim.

“If anyone possesses the ability to fight off the effects of the Lazarus Pit, it’s Drake,” Damian insists. “He does not have the same latent anger or violent tendencies as Todd’s files say he had.”

“Hey, stay the hell out of my business!”

“Tim might not be as violent as Jason is or was—”

“Screw you, Dickhead.”

“—but he definitely has the capacity for anger. And as it is, he suffers from severe depression,” Dick informs them soberly. “To the point where he’s considered suicide at least once in the past.”

Damian and Jason’s eyes snap to his face.

“What?” Jason demands.

“That was not in his file.”

“Because he didn’t want it there,” Dick tells them, weary. “In case someone tried to use it against him.”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of fucking important to people know about?” Jason demands. “Especially if they have to go out in the field with him?”

He’s having a sudden flashback to the night when everything came out into the open, when he swooped in to save Tim from a fall that he should have been able to divert himself.

Shit. What if that wasn’t an accident like I thought?

“We all have things in our history we don’t want in the files,” Dick reminds them, his face becoming hard for a moment as if he’s remembering something. Then he shakes it off. “Tim’s been dealing with it. He’s on medication, he reaches out when it gets bad…but it’s an ongoing process. I don’t need to tell you guys that.”

“If he didn’t want anyone knowing, he’s going to be pissed you tattled.”

“I’m only speaking up so Damian understands what a bad idea it would be to put Tim in a Lazarus Pit. Depression on top of Pit madness? I don’t want to even think about what he might do.”

Not to mention bringing him anywhere near where Ra’s might pop up is asking for trouble, especially since he can’t fight him off right now.

“So, you are insisting on this waiting nonsense,” Damian concludes, looking frustrated.

“It’s all we can do for now, Little D.”

The kid’s expression remains stormy.

⁂

Damian strides into Tim’s bedroom one morning, wearing a determined expression and followed by his gigantic dog, Titus.

Tim feels a little wary, not so much because of the intimidating canine, but because his younger brother rarely comes near him voluntarily.

“I have read in numerous medical journals the benefits of animal companions in increasing the likelihood of recovery from traumatic brain injuries,” he announces. “Since Father is adamant, we are not getting another dog, I have decided to allow you to spend time with Titus while I am engaged in my studies. I am confident it will contribute to improvement in your condition.” He gestures at the dog. “Titus, stay with Drake. I shall collect you later.”

Then he nods to himself, as if concluding business, and leaves the room.

Tim stares after him, utterly bewildered at the turn of events. Titus watches the boy go, whines for a moment, and then looks over his shoulder at Tim, head cocked to one side as if wondering what that was all about.

All he can do is shrug, which he feels ridiculous about a moment later because Titus is a dog and has a limited understanding (even if Damian speaks to him as if he’s a human being). Still, a beat later, the dog wanders over to Tim’s bed, and rests his head upon the mattress, gazing up at Tim with curious eyes, his tail wagging somewhat.

Slowly, Tim reaches out with his right hand and places it on the dog’s head, causing the tail-wagging to speed up, and scratches him behind the ears.

Titus thus becomes a semi-permanent element of Tim’s recovery process. Damian comes by every morning to drop the dog off as if he’s a parent leaving a child at daycare or school and leaves for several hours. Titus then goes to Tim for obligatory head-pats and only lets up when it becomes clear Tim’s energy is flagging. Even then, he doesn’t go anywhere, simply curling up beside Tim’s bed. When Damian returns, he pokes his head in, nods again, and gestures for the dog to depart with him.

The whole situation is bizarre, but Tim thinks it’s the way Damian expresses worry.

Having Titus around has the added benefit of intimidating Gillian Sato whenever she comes for one of her ‘visits’. Jay can’t always make it there before she does, and she somehow manages to insist on meeting with Tim privately to avoid bias (which he doesn’t understand). Those visits when Jay isn’t present are as short as possible to comply with her wishes, but they’re long enough that Tim is always exhausted and confused at their end. With Titus there, he’s at least a bit more comfortable; the dog appears to sense when his anxiety is climbing or when Ms. Sato says something that makes him uncomfortable.

“It’s rather concerning, Timothy,” she tells him in a voice meant to be kind. “Considering all the resources Mr. Wayne has at his disposal, that he insists you recover here. Instead of in a facility specifically created to rehabilitate TBI patients. It’s almost as if he’s trying to keep you here under his watchful eye.” She leans forward, expression worrying. “You want to get better as soon as possible, don’t you?”

Before Tim can try to parse out exactly what she’s asking him (because he knows somehow the words don’t match her intention), Titus hackles raise, and he begins to growl.

Almost that same instant, Alfred will sweep in and declare that Tim is quite tired today, perhaps they can continue this interview some other time?

Tim wonders if he isn’t standing at the door eavesdropping, even though somehow, he can’t reconcile that image in his head.

Depending on the time of day that Ms. Sato arranges her ‘visit’, the family member that sits with him changes. He much prefers when it’s Jay—he’s the only one whose presence helps Tim calm down quickly after such an interview—but he’s learning to appreciate and trust everyone else in his family.

He’s come a long way since waking up in the hospital and seeing nothing but a bunch of strangers.

Bruce continues to make efforts to spend time with Tim when he wakes up in the mornings. In addition to the sudoku and crossword puzzles, which Tim has started trying to do himself in his spare time, Bruce has started playing other games with him. First Go Fish, and later Memory.

They were games suggested by Dr. Thrussell to help with Tim’s mental rehabilitation, but it turns out playing with Bruce is fun. His expression is awfully serious for what Tim knows are simple children’s games, but he always becomes exceedingly pleased when Tim makes a correct guess.

Dick, who Tim has learned from Alfred is a police officer, is not always around due to his work shifts being somewhat irregular, but when he is, he goes out of his way to help Tim with whatever he might need. It’s both touching and overwhelming; Tim likes Dick, but he feels the same amount of mental exhaustion when he leaves as he does when Ms. Sato does.

How does one person have that much energy?

His favorites besides Jay, are Cassandra and Stephanie.

Steph is nice, as well. She’s affectionate with him, has a good sense of humor, and unlike everyone else who seems wary about touching Tim beyond helping him groom himself or for physio, she’s very tactile.

And she smells nice.

He feels a level of comfort with her that is like when he’s with Jay, which he supposes is because they used to date before she and Cass discovered they were soulmates. Perhaps it’s why he doesn’t question her presence in his life the way he still does sometimes with Bruce or Dick or Damian.

And then there’s Cassandra, who’s just…amazing.

Because she’s like him, somehow.

There’s intelligence in her eyes, but she has trouble getting the words out just like he does. When she sees him struggling with his brain to mouth disconnect, she looks empathetic and he knows it’s not pity or guilt.

The latter is a look he’s started to recognize in Jay, and he doesn’t like it.

He wonders if whatever makes him look like that is the reason he doesn’t get along with the rest of the family. He wishes he could ask, though he suspects even if he could, he wouldn’t get a straight answer.

He’s not sure if that’s normal for this family, or if it’s just another attempt to keep from upsetting Tim. Ever since he started to improve, everyone seems to be wanting to keep him occupied and entertained. Sometimes it’s fun—like today, with Steph egging him on while playing Candy Crush—and other times, it’s just…

Exhausting.

His convalescence aside, Tim has noticed there are times when he feels exhausted and strained for reasons other than his injury. He doesn’t know where those feelings come from, just that he dislikes them.

⁂

One evening, a little over three months following the shooting, Jason shuffles into the manor and wonders how this became routine for him.

It should worry him; how easy it’s been to slip back into the habit of being greeted by Alfred. Into toeing off his boots in the entrance closest and loitering in the kitchen to see if there’s anything left over from lunch or dinner.

It’s deceptively simple to fall into the mental trap of calling this place home again, which is why he never lets himself stay longer than a few hours. Even when Alfred keeps offering to make up a guest room or tries to tempt him with homemade scones for breakfast the next morning.

(He can’t go near his old room, the mausoleum to shattered dreams and stolen childhood.)

Jason’s usual arguments against that are quieter right now, his mind on what Damian said the other day: that no one is trying to help Tim.

In the strictest sense, the sentiment is bullshit; everyone in the Family has been bending over backward trying to make his rehabilitation priority, to protect him from two-faced social workers and asshole paparazzi looking for a story. But there’s been no headway on the shooting, and he wonders if anyone else but him is still looking into it.

Which is stupid, because he knows for a fact that Bruce is a dog with a bone and won’t let any case go, let alone one where his kid got hurt.

So why hasn’t he found anything yet?

He knows from experience, both as Robin and Red Hood, that some cases take longer than others. Bruce spent an entire year investigating the Holiday killings before Jason got involved, and during their years together there were several ongoing cases that dragged for weeks and months before a break could be made.

There are some that remain unsolved to this day.

But this is Tim, you’d think he’d be more motivated. Unless…

Unless he has found something and just doesn’t want to share it because he thinks Jason’s going to go on a vengeful, murderous rampage.

He clenches his fists.

It wouldn’t be the first time that Bruce kept something from him or anyone else if he’s on a case he’s decided is his. He even keeps Dick out of the loop on stuff like that, and he’s the golden child.

Jason’s probably just being paranoid.

Except…

Except he learned paranoia from the best, and that paranoia isn’t always just paranoia, and if Bruce thinks he’ll react badly to something, of course he’s going to keep it from him. Which means they’re going to have a problem because this case isn’t going to get solved if they can’t share important information.

Instead of heading toward Tim’s bedroom, Jason changes course and makes a beeline for the Cave entrance in the study.

He reaches the bottom of the staircase just in time to see Nightwing and Robin peel out of the garage on two bikes. A cowl-free Batman is hunched over the computer, looking up something on the main screen, while the ones off to the sideshow various CCTV feeds from the Narrows, Tricorner and Burnley.

He catches flashes of Black Bat and Signal in the latter two, and scowls.

“I should be out there.”

“That’s not your concern right now,” Bruce replies without even turning around. “You should be upstairs with Tim.”

There’s a derisive snort at that, and Jason glances over to see Blondie balanced on her own bike, adjusting her hair beneath her cowl.

“Problem, Bat-chick?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t sound like nothin’.”

“Just seems like certain people are easier to forgive than others.”

“Stephanie,” Bruce warns, still not looking at either of them.

“No, it’s fine,” she replies. “Let’s keep tiptoeing around the giant pink elephant in the room. And by giant pink elephant, I mean crime lord.”

“That what you’re goin’ with?” Jason challenges. “You’ve been stewin’ on that for three months, and you’re gonna give me grief over bullshit that’s over and done with?”

“Clearly it’s not over and done with.”

“If you’ve got a problem with me, strap on the steel tits and own up to what it’s really about.”

“Okay, fine!” Blondie hops off the bike to march forward, stopping a good foot away from him and shoving a finger at him. “You might be his soulmate, but don’t think that gets you off for all the crap you’ve pulled. Especially since you’ve known this whole time.”

“What I know or knew is none of your business. But if you really want to have a competition about who hurt him most, my name ain’t the only one on the list.”

“Are you seriously trying to pull the ‘everyone else did it too so it’s okay’ defense?”

“No, I’m telling you to be careful in that fragile fucking glass house of yours.”

“Speaking of houses, how long are you going to keep playing house with Tim before you break his heart again? Are you going to do it right when he gets his memories back, or wait a few days for him to adjust and then drop him?”

“You think I’d be that big an asshole?”

“I know you’re that big an asshole. And so did Tim,” she shoots back, merciless. “He told me you were dead.”

“I was dead.”

“And then you weren’t. And he still always told that to anyone who asked. He knew whatever this is with you, it was never going to happen, but it also wasn’t going away. So, he was trying to move on. And if he’s smart—which we all know Tim is, memories or not—he’ll stick to that gut feeling. Because the longer he’s involved with you, the more hurt he’s going to be when you inevitably break his heart. If you were any kind of decent, you’d get the hell out of his life before he finishes imprinting on you like a baby chick.”

“That’s enough,” Bruce says, and this time he does turn around. “Stephanie, patrol.”

“I’m going,” she replies. “But not because you told me to.”

She stalks toward her bike, and after a few angry revs of the engine, speeds off out of the cave.

Bruce is still looking in Jason’s direction; he can feel the frown. “Provoking her isn’t helpful to anyone, least of all Tim.”

“What argument were you watching?” Jason shoots back. “If anyone’s provoking anyone else, it’s her. And I’m telling you now, B, if she wants a fight, I’ll give it to her. I’m putting up with enough crap because of this soulmate thing, I didn’t sign on to let Timbo’s pissed off ex-girlfriend take shots at me.”

“The lack of evidence in this case is frustrating everyone.”

Jason gives him a disbelieving look—there’s no way that Bruce can be so emotionally stunted that he can’t figure out what Blondie’s little tiff was all about.

Then again…yes, he is.

Rather than stew over Blondie’s accusations (and the fact that she’s got more of a point than he’d like), Jason decides to focus on what Bruce actually said.

“So you haven’t found anything on your end, either?”

He leans against the giant computer, keeping a conspicuous distance between him and Bruce, and trying not to feel awkward and naked without his helmet on. He doesn’t actually remember the last time he was down here and not in uniform.

“No.”

“Really. Nothing? Not a single goddamn clue? This is all just some random person that decided to take the kid out?”

“It’s not the first time someone has attempted to assassinate Tim.”

“Yeah, but I heard about that, it was all planned for. This wasn’t.”

“Hence the continued investigation.”

“Yeah, well, there’s no way you’ve been on the case this long and haven’t found something.”

Bruce is quiet for a moment and then nods. “Based on the lack of available evidence, whoever did this was a professional. Elite even.”

“No shit. We knew that from Day One.”

“I’ve since narrowed down a list of suspects from around the world, who have the capability of pulling this off.”

“And?”

“And they’re all either accounted for or dead.”

“So why do you look more constipated about this than usual? You’ve had harder cases with less evidence.”

“Almost all of these snipers were trained by David Cain.”

The name makes Jason tense. “He’s dead.”

“Yes. But before he died, he mentioned something to me. That there were others.”

“Others like Cass, you mean.”

“Hn.”

Jason grits his teeth. “So, your theory is some designer assassin Child o’ Cain decided to come to Gotham just to shoot Tim?”

“It’s not a theory. Just a possible connection. There’s too little evidence to support it.”

“Then what the hell are you spending the time on it for?” Jason demands. “If we’re going for wild conspiracy theories, why not an alternate universe or time travel? It’s just as easy to speculate someone came back in time to assassinate Tim or put him out of commission for whatever reason.”

“I won’t discount those theories either,” Bruce allows, because of course. “But in either situation, anyone coming here for Tim specifically would likely be enhanced to survive whatever means brought them here.”

“Or it’s one of us.”

Bruce doesn’t meet his gaze, but there’s a subtle tensing of his shoulder muscles.

“I saw that,” Jason points out quietly. Bruce says nothing. “You think it would be me, don’t you?”

“I never said that.”

“If it were one of us, I’m the best marksman, so if it were anyone of ours to come back and put a bullet in his head, it’d be me.”

Bruce stands then, agitated. “You’re jumping to conclusions and letting your feelings cloud your judgment. This is only one of many theories, not even the one that’s most likely—”

“Except we both know that ain’t the case!” Jason snarls. “You know as well as I do, I’m probably the reason he got shot in the first place!”

“Jason—”

“I did this, B! I was in the middle of a pissing contest with some asshole moving in on my turf and Tim got caught in the crossfire. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself!”

“You did not cause Tim to be shot,” Bruce snaps.

“That’s not what you thought when it happened,” Jason reminds him bitterly.

“And I’ve since revised my opinion. I don’t believe this to be related to the contract that was put out on Red Hood.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a totally glowing recommendation!”

“Whoever is after you obviously isn’t aware of your civilian identity, or they would still be pursuing you,” Bruce replies. “Going underground would only keep you safe for so long, and it’s been months. Whoever is targeting you may have been watching Red Hood, but they weren’t watching you. Therefore, the likelihood of Tim’s shooting having anything to do with your activities is low.”

“Seriously? That’s your explanation?”

“Jason,” Bruce sighs, and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose in a familiar gesture of exhaustion. “I’m trying to tell you I don’t think you’re responsible for this. Why are you fighting me on it?”

“Because nothing is ever that easy with you! And you’re usually the one driving the ‘Jason messes everything up’ bandwagon. Don’t tell me that’s changed all because I happen to be the kid’s soulmate.”

“That has nothing to do with it. I’ve already explained my reasoning, and it’s enough for me at the moment.” He fixes Jason with a calculating look that he doesn’t like. “The question is, why are you so determined to make it your fault?”

Jason opens his mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in his throat as he realizes he has no idea how to answer that.

Bruce continues. “Your behavior is inconsistent.”

“Hell, yes, it’s inconsistent! It’s been months and I still have no fucking idea how I’m supposed to deal with all of this!”

“Perhaps you should take some time,” the older man replies, turning his attention back to the computer. “Away from here.”

Jason narrows his eyes. “Away from Tim, you mean.”

“He’s at the point where he is no longer uncomfortable with the rest of us, and you did make it clear that you only intended to stay by his side until his condition improved. I’m sure with some explanation you could take some time. It might help.”

“You just…that’s not even…”

Jason falters, not sure how to respond, because really, this is his get-out-of-jail-free card. He did say he was only going to stick around until Tim was doing better, and the kid is doing better. He can get back to his search for the dick that got him to go to ground, can get back to living his life the way he wants it and not based around a convalescent’s schedule.

But the idea of it just now, makes him feel queasy, like he’s running a dirty deal.

And on top of that, it bothers him that while Bruce is certain he’s not responsible for Tim’s injury, he still obviously has an issue with the fact they’re soulmates.

It shouldn’t bother him.

It absolutely should not bother him.

And yet.

“You’re a fucking piece of work, you know that?” he snaps, and heads right back up the stairs, mind racing and unable to settle on a single conflicted thought.

Upon reaching the study he finds Alfred on his way in, a tray of tea and sandwiches in hand. The older man takes one look at him and purses his lips, and puts down his burden.

“From your expression, I suspect Master Bruce will be sulking too much the rest of the evening to be interested in dinner.”

“Like I care,” Jason grunts, slamming the false front of the clock entrance closed.

“Were that the case, you would not be damaging the furniture.”

Jason scowls, though it’s somewhat tempered when Alfred offers him the sandwiches he was obviously about to bring down to Bruce.

He takes a petty satisfaction in polishing off every bit of food and tea while Alfred pretends to busy himself with tidying the already pristine study. Although he’s clearly remaining nearby should Jason need him, he doesn’t try to force a conversation.

How does he always know…?

Jason surprises himself when he’s the one to break the silence. “Why the hell does this soulmate shit have to be so complicated? Everyone else just gets it, and I just want to jump out of my fucking skin because it’s making me crazy.”

For once, Alfred doesn’t comment on his language.

“As I understand it, you have never had another person with whom you could confide about this before. You had not manifested your mark when you first came to us, and Master Bruce does tend to avoid matters of the heart and soul except when necessity requires it.”

Jason grumbles, “No kidding.”

It’s not just now, either.

Years back, Bruce got through the sex talk with his usual emotionless, detached aplomb, but didn’t bother with any of the other stuff. Jason would have thought the guy had no heart at all, except he saw how invested he got with the women in his life that mattered.

“And I would imagine discussing it with Mr. Harper and Ms. Anders has not helped, given the substantial difference in circumstances.”

“You got that right…”

“Then perhaps I might offer my own understandings if only to provide another perspective.”

Jason shrugs. “Why not? It’s not like anyone else cares, other than to look like I kicked a puppy whenever I’m in the room with Tim.”

“It has always been my belief that one’s soulmate is the person who will have the most impact on one’s life.”

“So why isn’t mine the Joker?” Jason shoots back spitefully.

“As if that creature ever had a soul,” Alfred scoffs.

“I’m just sayin’, your logic’s flawed.”

“And if you think a homicidal clown gets to claim to be the biggest impact on your life, I wash my hands of you. Do you realize you are scarcely 21 years old? You have an awful lot of life ahead of you to have that one moment, traumatic as it was, to define all of it. Perhaps in those first few months or years following the incident, yes. But you have a future, Master Jason. Soulmates are not just for the moment, but for the breadth of your lifespan. And however much strangeness we see on a regular basis in this world of ours, none of us have the ability to discern the future.”

“Except maybe Duke.”

“Except perhaps Master Duke,” Alfred allows, his mouth twitching somewhat. “But even that only comes in flashes. He cannot know it all. And neither can you.”

“Is that your convoluted way of telling me ‘chin up’?”

“That is my convoluted way of telling you that you are not the only person to find the matter of soulmates difficult to navigate. And no one—not even Master Bruce—is expecting you to figure it all out right away.”

Jason snorts. “You sure about that?”

Alfred simply raises an eyebrow as if insulted by his pearls of wisdom being questioned, and Jason raises his hands in surrender.

Never question Alfred. He knows everything.

Still, he suspects that Bruce will be getting a rather pointed talking-to in the near future. It makes him feel marginally better about the whole thing.

“Now,” the older man continues in a businesslike tone, “Timothy is in the family room this afternoon. However, I would understand if you do not feel up to seeing him today and would be perfectly willing to make an excuse for your absence should you require it.”

Jason almost accepts the out, but then remembers Bruce making a similar suggestion—albeit with more suspect motives—and shakes his head.

“Nah,” he sighs. “Knowing Timbers, he’s been waiting up all day. Least I can do is say 'hi'.”

“Indeed,” Alfred agrees neutrally, but there’s a twinkle in his eye that suggests approval.

As long as no one else decides to ambush me with their emotional crap today, it should be fine, Jason decides, leaving the study and wandering down the hall.

⁂

Tim is sitting in the family room watching Arranged.

He spends most of his time there, either alone or with whatever member of the family is still at home that day. After so long being practically bedridden, he’s desperate to be anywhere that’s not his bedroom.

Alfred wheels him out into the gardens whenever it’s not raining or damp or windy (which, being May, it almost always is), and he’s since enjoyed the sun on his face for the first time that he can remember. He also got to experience his apparent first sunburn, because it seems his skin is notoriously sensitive.

Worth it though, to be outside.

He shifts, sitting up on the couch in front of the large television. He’s surrounded by a staggering number of blankets and pillows; Tim’s not even sure he really needs them to support him anymore—he’s been sitting up on his own for a while—but Alfred insists it’s better safe than sorry.

Titus is lying on his feet, dozing but alert. Tim’s wheelchair stands beside the couch, with Alfred the Cat (Damian seems to not have much imagination when it comes to pet names) curled up on the seat. Occasionally he opens one eye as if to check on Tim, and then returns to sleep.

He’s not a bad recovery-cat, I guess.

On-screen, Cordelia de Vere and Bertram Montmorency get to know one another and discover they actually get along, being of complementary temperaments. They have undeniable chemistry and their dialog is full of witty diatribe and veiled insults that he can’t help enjoying. It’s much more interesting than what Cordelia had with her soulmate, which he agrees with Jay about. Tim’s not sure if it’s a better match than Bertram and Maurice, who the prince continues to see in secret. Meanwhile, Gerald seems to be getting along just fine, joining the army and vowing to build himself up to meet the standards of Cordelia’s parents. He doesn’t actually seem outwardly bothered by her absence, except for several sequences of him writing her love letters.

“Never mind a bullet, this is the kind of crap that gives you brain damage,” a voice informs Tim, amused and somewhat mocking as usual.

Tim’s eyes snap instantly to Jay as he appears in the room, and he feels a smile break out on his face.

“Hi.”

It’s one of the words he’s been working on in therapy and can finally say it without having to mentally or actually hum through a children’s nursery rhyme song. It gives him a thrill of accomplishment, albeit one that pales at the thrill when Jason’s eyes widen in surprise, and then something that Tim imagines might be pride.

“Hi back,” he replies and glances around the room. The car glares up at him like he expects him to question or end his occupation of the space, but Jason simply throws himself down on the nearby easy chair—it’s the only piece of furniture free of pillows and blankets—and squints at the television. “I can’t believe you’re still watching this.”

Tim snorts and shoots Jason a wry look, mentally telegraphing his thoughts. And what are you doing right now?

“Don’t give me that, I’m humoring the invalid.”

“Uh-huh,” Tim grunts.

“That’s a lot of sarcasm for someone who can’t manage actual words yet.”

Tim doesn’t take Jason’s abrasive comments as an insult. Along with Steph, he is the only one that doesn’t try to coddle him. He talks to Tim the same way he talks to everyone else, which, like he’s equal to them even though his brain is making things hard for him right now.

Still, the reminder of his lack of verbosity directly on the heels of his recent accomplishments strikes something in Tim, something like annoyance. Something that suddenly wants to prove a point.

He frowns in effort, trying to line up thoughts and words and the movement of his mouth.

“This is seriously predictable,” Jason complains. “Obviously the writers are trying to set it up that he shows up again and sweeps her off her feet. Then the rich boy goes back to his boyfriend and watching all this is a total waste of time.” Tim doesn’t respond, and Jason glances over at him to gauge his reaction. Only to notice now that Tim is watching him instead of the show, mouth turned downward in a frown. “What?”

Tim’s lips part, then purse, and he makes a kind of humming noise in his throat, closing his eyes in concentration. He takes a deep breath and then utters a sound.

“Ju…jjuh…juh-ay…”

He blinks, somewhat surprised by himself. Jason seems to echo it. “Did you just…?”

Tim’s mouth quirks upward and he feels almost smug. Then, he slowly sounds out the word again. “Ja-ay.”

It’s slow and stilted, and his voice is raspy from disuse, but it’s there, decrying his enforced muteness.

Jay is sitting up ramrod straight now. “Holy shit, you’re trying to talk.”

The naked awe on his soulmate’s face makes him feel warm, and so Tim plods onward, ignoring the way sweat breaks out on the back of his neck or the way he feels a little dizzy.

“Th…than…kyuu…”

Jay’s expression appears to shutter, awe becoming confusion. “Uh…for what?”

“Sa…say…” Tim is panting a bit from the effort now.

“Hey, forget it, don’t push yourself,” Jason implores him, sitting up and making a pacifying gesture. “Three words is enough progress for—”

“Say-ved,” Tim interrupts doggedly. “Safe. Me. Heard…duh…di…Dick…say. You. Say-ved me.”

There.

That was almost two full sentences. He knows they’re crude and basic and maybe not quite what he was trying to say, but he managed to communicate on his own without blinking. It fills him with a buoyant glee, a bubbling temptation to laugh though he knows from experience that doing that would just make his head spin and throb.

He expects Jay to look proud again, happy or relieved—maybe even a sarcastic, teasing quip.

What he doesn’t expect is the wild gleam in Jay’s eye or the way the blood rushes from his cheeks. He looks like someone punched him, and then he’s standing, backing away.

“That…” He swallows. “I’ve got to…”

He doesn’t finish and instead turns and practically bolts from the room, leaving Tim staring after him in shocked dismay, wondering what just happened.

________________________________________________________________

To Be Continued

Poor Timmy. And just when he's starting to show some of his old spunk, too...

Things are heading for their first boiling point. Someone's got to knock some sense into Jay, either literally or metaphorically (who wants to take bets on who it will be?). 

#jaytim #jaytimweek2019 #jaytimweek #jaytimbingo2019 #prompt: soulmate #fanfic #jaytimfic #batfic #slow burn #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #stephanie brown #bat family #angst #drama #soulmate aversion #secret identity

[avengingbbarnes]

drunk. carl gallagher imagine.

DRUNK.

warning: someone forcing themselves on reader. ( NOT GRAPHIC )

DRUNK.

"she's too drunk." carl's friend told him. carl sighed as he saw his best friend, jumping around and dancing with a bunch of different random guys. "i'll take her home." carl said as he stood up and made his way towards his best friend. "[Y/N]." carl said in a mumble. the girl didn't even bother to turn her head to look towards carl. as she already knew what he was going to say. the girl rolled her eyes. "come on carl! have some fun!" she said as she stopped dancing and faced carl. trying to stand still on her own. carl groaned. "come on. im taking you home. you're too drunk to stay here on your own." carl said as he grabbed her arm. she shook his arm off her. "no." was all she said as she stumbled over to the kitchen, and poured herself another drink. carl rolled his eyes as he saw her trying to pour the drink. walking towards her, he grabbed the cup out of her hand, and grabbed her once again. "let go of me!" she yelled, a few other students turned to look at carl and [Y/N]. but soon looked away and continued doing as they were once before. carl sighed, letting go of his friend. "let's go." he whispered, so only she could hear. she shook her head. “i want to stay, and have fun. that's why i came carl!" she mumbled rolling her eyes as she stumbled towards a group of guys she had talked to before she got wasted.

“hey!" she said as she stood next to some of the guys. "what's up?" the guys asked. she leaned against one of the guys. "just kicking it." she said, the guys nodded their heads while continuing to talk. though, the guy she was leaning against took an interest in her. “want another drink?" he asked once he noticed that she didn't have a drink in hand. she smiled, nodding her head. as he lead her through the crowd towards the kitchen where she was just at earlier.

carl sighed as he watched the girl he loves with another guy. carl always hated seeing her with other guys. thinking he was the only one that could treat her good enough. yet that changed, when she tried with him but he showed no emotion. too hung up over another girl that didn't love him back. [Y/N], hated the fact that carl never took interest in her, when she decided to make something happen, he simply ignored her. which left her hurt and confused. yeah carl was a flirt, but something about him flirting with her made her feel special instead of just another girl for carl to mess with. she laughed to herself as she realized her big mistake. it was carl after all. all carl cared about was getting his dick sucked. yet she was still hoping that's not all it was. she was hoping that he'd want her too. and not in just a sexual way. in a love type of way. she wanted to be loved by carl. yet he ignored her all the times she tried to make it happen. noticing she stopped. and continued to keep her feelings away. hoping any distraction could keep her from thinking about carl not loving her back the way she did to him.

carl moved between some kids, and sat on the couch drinking a beer. he kept glancing at the kitchen just to make sure [Y/N] was still there and not doing anything 'bad'. carl felt like an idiot. screw that carl knew he was an idiot. he knew how she felt towards him, he could tell. hell even his siblings could tell, yet he decided to be dick and keep his feelings sealed. he hated that he never showed interest in her the moment she'd try to flirt back with him. she even tried to kiss him once yet he turned the other way. leaving her hurt. he continued to do that. until a few days ago he noticed that she had, had it. she wouldn't laugh at his attempts of 'flirting' with her. she'd simply ignore him with a roll of her eyes. she didn't even want to sleep in the same bed with him anymore. saying she'd rather sleep on the floor. carl cursed to himself. he gave up a shot with a beautiful girl just because he didn't want to let someone in.

carl was soon taken out of his thoughts when he heard a glass break. taking notice that people didn't really mind the glass. carl looked up to see what had happened and saw that. [Y/N] was getting pushed up on by a guy. carl got up in an instant, anger in his eyes. "get off me!" she yelled as the guy kept trying to push himself on her. "she said to get off of her!" carl yelled as he came up from behind the guy. the guy rolled his eyes, "fuck off gallagher!" he yelled. as he kept trying to kiss [Y/N]. "she told you to get the fuck off of her!" carl yelled as he pushed the guy off of [Y/N]. by now more and more people turned to look to see what was happening.

[Y/N] looked down in embarrassment. "just leave." carl said, sounding demanding. the guy scoffed, walking away. "[Y/N]-" carl started to say as he walked up to her, she rolled her eyes and heaved out a big sigh as he came closer. "go away carl." she said as she started to walk out the door. carl groaned as he ran after her. "[Y/N], wait!" he yelled as they were finally out of the house, and were walking down the sidewalk. she ignored him and kept walking away. he caught up to her and quickly turned her around. "don't touch me!" she yelled. carl backed up and let go of her. "okay. i won’t touch you." he said softly, she rolled her and started walking away again. "why are you mad at me?" carl asked. he didn't feel like he did anything wrong that night. he helped her out right? she didn't want that guy on her, and he stopped him. why was she so mad?

she let out a deep breath before turning around to face carl. "nothing. you did nothing wrong carl. now leave me alone." she whispered, as she kept walking. "can you stop walking for one fucking second!" he shouted. when he saw that she wasn't going to stop, he grabbed her once again. and kissed her. the kiss wasn't soft or passionate it was forced and harsh. she quickly pushed him off of her, wiping her mouth looking at him in disgust. "what the fuck carl?!" she yelled, he ignored her. "im scared." he whispered to her, [Y/N] gave him a weird look. before opening her mouth and asking “what the fuck are you scared of carl.” carl could tell she was holding back a laugh because carl never showed any emotions of him being scared towards her not even when they cps attempted to take him and his siblings away from fiona. even though [Y/N] was annoyed and angry she still decided to give carl a chance and looked at him angrily.

“im scared, im scared of being alone." he said looking into her eyes. Now [Y/N] really felt like laughing. "I don't think that's gonna be a problem. carl, I mean you have five other siblings." she mumbled, he rolled his eyes. "not in that way! im scared to be alone, once you see how hard I am to be with. im so stupid and reckless and I just fuck up everything. I suck at love and I suck at expressing my feelings. that's why I ignored you. and my dumbass waited to tell you once I saw you with another guy. I should have told you before otherwise nothing like this would have happened. I wish I told you how much I love you before any of this happened. I just couldn't seem to let it out, worried that you'd leave me as soon as you saw how I truly am." he said. her face softened when he finally said that he loves her. "you're an idiot." she mumbled, carl cracked a smile, nodding his head telling her that she was right, she was always right.

“im not done.-" she said when carl tried opening his mouth the speak. she continued, “you're an idiot for thinking that way. carl, we've been best friends for the longest and you were scared for me to leave you once I knew how you were in a relationship?! carl! I'm you're best fucking friend I've seen you in them! all you want is for your dick to be sucked! you're trying to stand here telling me you're scared to love me because you think I'm going to leave you once I see how you are? carl I know how you are. I think you'd be the one breaking my heart more than me breaking yours because let's face it carl, you didn't just want me in the first place before cause you loved me. you tried getting with me before but only wanting nothing more that for me to suck your fucking dick!" she yelled, carl looked taken aback. thinking she would have just said that she loved him too, and they'd go on with their lives. together. "fuck you carl. I do know how you are in relationships. and sadly I know I don’t want that. because you only use girls. sure you can say you love me, but are you really saying it with meaning?" she asked him. carl never nodded his head so fast in his life. "I really am meaning it though! you've always made my days better! every time you'd spend the night because you didn't wanna stay with your dad, I fell in love with you more and more. every time you helped my family made me love you. every time you helped me with the homework I never fucking wanted to do. I'm so in love with you because you fucking taught me how to actually truly love someone!" he yelled, breathing heavily. she backed up after hearing him yell.

she didn't know what to say. all this time she didn't think that carl would say that, and now that he finally did she was speechless. "you still suck at math. no matter how many times I helped you, you still fucking sucked ass at it." she said laughing. carl laughed, hating that she was still ignoring the fact that he just poured out his feelings to her and she's-. "but one thing you're good at is making me fall in love with you more and more every day." she whispered as she came closer to him. carl smiled as he pushed her against him. "you wanna sleep over?" he asked as he hugged her kissing her neck. she nodded her head. not wanting to go home to her father who was most like high off something. carl let go of her, as he grabbed her hand. "oh! I almost forgot." she said, carl stopped and looked at her. "what?" he asked, she leaned in and pressed a soft but quick kiss to carl's soft lips. carl smiled when she pulled away. "you owed me that kiss." she mumbled as they rejoined hands. walking away down the street in the dark.

i wrote this imagine like almost two years ago & it was written so shitty, i seriously did not think anyone would read this shit of a mess imagine lmao. but thank you guys all so much for the likes and reblogs ! it actually means a lot! this was re-edited on april, 17. 2020

#carl gallagher #frank gallagher #fiona gallagher #lip gallagher #liam gallagher #ian gallagher #imagines #imagine #debbie gallagher #drunk #drinking #party #preferences #shamelessus #shameless #kevin ball #veronica fisher

[justafastfoodknight]

today has been so exhausting mentally and physically so let’s get to it:

get to work and Livni opened so it’s her shift. Some cool co-workers and whatnot and i try and not stress about my manager being there, but it’s inevitable. I haven’t updated in forever so many things have been missed such as: i fucking hate my boss and she reminds me why i left running for the hills from starbucks. to sum it up, I’m learning to be ver cautious with my words and what I ask her because she’s ANAL about every single little microscopic thing. So I politely ask if I was allowed to know who opened on Monday so I could let them know that I MIGHT be a couple minutes late because I had to drop my sister off somewhere. I kid you not, it was THEE most dramatic reaction i’ve ever gotten. She said, “well why are you going to be late, why didn’t you notify me two weeks prior, you know I made the schedule already, this is going to interfere with our business. I out the schedules out ahead of time so things like this don’t happen, you can’t be late.” to which I said “ok don’t worry about it, i’ll cancel it and say I can’t do it (not in a mean or frustrated way either, just as a ok it’s totally fine kind of way) and she kept asking when my mom told me i’d have to pick up my sister and that I would have to give my whole family and people I know a heads up that if i wanted to make plans i’d need weeks notice so she could figure it out. While i’m standing there kind of soaking all this dramatic bullshit up she’s like well maybe ask Megan to come in half an hour early so she can cover you because everyone has to be on time and everyone’s position is vital and vital to the team. I can’t have anyone be gone and then I be blamed for your absence. and A-FUCKING-GAIN i said, it’s ok abby don’t worry about it, it’s not that big of a deal. THE BITCH WOULD NOT FUKCING LET IT GO!!! WE DO NOT FUCKING WORK FOR THE FBI OR THE PENTAGON OR THE FUCKING NSA WE WORK AT A COFFEE SHOP WHERE WE HAVE A SURPLUS OF PEOPLE ON THE FLOOR ON A DAY THAT NEVER GETS BUSY!!! AND I CAN’T BE LATE, AND NOT EVEN THAT, WARN YOU THAT I’LL BE SO INSTEAD OF BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE LIKE SOME OTHER PEOPLE SHE’S HIRED?! Then on top of that she realized that i was slightly bothered by her insistent behavior that she had the balls so say, don’t get mad at me, i’m running this business and i wan’t to be successful, i’m trying to help you out. I understand that it’s not ideal for someone to be late, but i’m giving you a heads up and you have more than enough people plus YOU there and it’s fucking 7am, people are barely getting up dumbass. After that conversation ended I had thee worst, and i meant WORST feeling. I was so mad and angry and frustrated i completely went sour. She honestly fucked up 90% of my day. I was just thinking of places to start applying to and where i could move to because I did/do not support her as a manager. and it’s not only this, she was gone for a month or so when i was barely hired and everything was peachy-keen, ther second she came back everyone was fucking miserable. last sunday was my first shift again without her and I HAD SO MUCH FUN I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE. no one was stressed, we got our tasks done, we cleaned, we made drinks, put away the order, and no fucking do this do that, can you guys please greet, can u upsell, can you make sure you stay planted on register for your 8 hour shift HTANK YEWWWW. It’s only been a couple of months and I am disgusted by her I can’t even believe it..

moving on, so yeah I went home and a mix of menstrual cramps and hormones I was on the verge of tears all fukcing day. like everything has been going ok but i am starting to hate my new job and her and I feel helpless tbh. so I’m getting to my second job and I see Tara and this girl is the sweetest person ever, like today I legit realized I love her like a best-friend rn. she’s always listening to my shit and giving me advice and she’s never one to wait for herself to talk, she’s always asking about certain details about myself and she’s so pure. so I saw her and she hugged me since i hadn’t seen her in 4 days and I had tears in my eyes cause I was still pissed off and emotional.... but i sucked it in and just went on. everyone could tell i was quiet, even her and she continuously asked me what happened at work or how it was and i just couldn’t bring myself to tell her, like i felt like i was a bother and i didn’t want to be pitied, just heard but i didn’t tell her even though I know i would have felt much better. I hate that I didn’t but i knew I would have started cryig because i ran to the bathroom and did just that. I know i sound like a fucking baby crying over that small thing with my manager but it’s like I fucking give my damn all at any job i have, i tell you i’m fast, i can clean, you don’t have to tell me what to do because i’m always on top of my shit but you still hound me while everyone else gets passes. but yeah so it sounds minor but that mixed with me hanging out with TA yesterday and realizing yet again that i love this fucking not single dude fucking hurts. he’s so nice and funny and i’m now crying at the thought that last night we watched Dunkirk and i told him i wasn’t too knowledgeable;e on history and he didn’t judged. i basically asked him to explain shit to me and most of the car ride he talked about ww1 and ww2 and all these other things and he asked me what i though about the movie and it’s like wtf i fit nowhere in his narrative. we were sitting down waiting for food i ordered sitting face to face and i was talking about how Atonement has this beautiful shot of Dunkirk that ties with the one now and i was getting so into it and he kept looking me in the eye and was nice to be listened to when I rant about movies. 

so yeah last night we went to go watch Dunkirk because 1. we last watched interstellar together and we both love Nolan and 2. because i missed talking to someone about stupid shit that i’m into. he drove and we walked around amoeba and i got him to actually buy Garden State which is on of my favs and i was surprised tbh. i told him i was sure he wouldn’t like the pretentiousness of it, but oh well. then today i realized the soundtrack is all fucking coldplay so FML WHEN HE WATCHES IT. it’s old CP so it’s good, but some people hate them in general SO.

yeah sat and watched the movie, got free caps, and just talked the whole car ride. about Twin Peaks and how i’m growing frustrated because nothing at all had been cleared up, about our love for B99!!! which no one else seems to get!! and also my favorite of when I was the one who showed him what David Lynch’s voice really sounds like because it came as a fjcking shockeer to me and then him. because it was COUNTRY AF. then i talked about conspiracy theories and our communal agreement that we desire death and hope that nothing comes after because shit is real out here. it’s that millennial depression tbh. 

so yea when i was at urba. i was very quiet, just did my shit, didn’t even wanna talk to Tara or Josy so i just kept SHUT. then my mom sent me the cutest meme of Boo from Monster’s ink where she’s crying and the caption is “oYE hija en que gastaste todo el dinero que de di?” and Boo is holding a shitload of makeup... i laughed so hard it got me out of that sad episode i had i swear!! i replied with “jajajajaj” and then she said “princesita” and it touched my heart. it’s sad to say but i miss being close to my parents, we live under the same roof and we see each other often but it feels so hard for me to open up to them, i feel like i can’t tell them anything without being judged which is a whole other conversation so i’ll stop here. 

the end of my shift was probably my favorite moment i’ve had in a while. these two girls came in from the movie theater across the street from us and i’ve taken their order before and they were super nice and i gave them free cookies. i think i want to vicariously live through them because they’re doing what i want to do. they’re best friends working at a movie theater together and when i asked them questions they both answered and vibed off of each other answers and it made me so sad thinking i was now 23, alone and working two jobs when they were just working for spare money. idk how to explain it but i find myself watching friends come in and be so friendly to each other and i think i just miss having a best friend be with me like in school. so yeah there was more we talked about but i’m tired and already sad again so i’m gonna end this here.

#personal

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was actually all around pretty good! It took a LOT of convincing, but I got myself out of bed, thank god. Like, it was really rough lol but I made it happen and of course I was glad I did. Did the whole routine, I think I'm finally getting over cocoa krispies so I'm gonna have to figure out a new breakfast routine. Bus to work, shortly after arriving I get a call from my psychiatrist, also a major thank god. We talked, I told him what was going on and he asked how bad it was, how desperate the situation was. I said it wasn't desperate yet, but it was definitely heading in that direction. Which is honest, but also in the back of my head I don't want to freak my parents out by needing to fly back for the weekend or something for an emergency session, because then I'm worried they'll freak out and not want me to go back to school in the fall and I'm sorry but I am NOT fucking playing that game, okay? I'm gonna finish this shit, no matter what. I'm a big girl and I'm not gonna go running back to my parents every time I hit a depressive slump just because they'd let me or want me to. I can manage this, I know I can. I've done it many times before. We just gotta figure this out. So he ended up upping the newest medication and told me to call him in a week, so hopefully that will be helpful. And yeah, the rest of the day was crazy, mostly because it was crazy productive! Like omg, we got so much done lol. Two motions filed, at least 5 interview requests done, several phone calls, and I finished the response to the motion that I've been working on for several weeks now, so I actually got to the point where I didn't have any pending work and didn't have a million papers strewn all over my desk, which is always a good feeling. And I felt good about being productive because I honestly feel so bad about missing so much time. My boss seems happy to have me there and was happy to get so much done of course, and made a comment like "what would I do without you, you've really become indispensable" so that made me feel good. We still filed the motion for the kid who's still in the psych hospital to get placed, but he got approved for a placement and is *hopefully* getting discharged tomorrow so we can just withdraw the motion on Monday (not as exciting for me, but I'm happy for him). Other major good news, I can't remember if I ever shared the first part of this but back in June when my judge from last semester was supposed to rule on the child death case I poured my heart and soul into for literally months, he only terminated on the two babies and said he wanted to interview the oldest 3, and everyone was pretty upset about it, I was really annoyed. But he interviewed them Friday and I found out today he terminated on all 3! I was so so happy to find this out, it's definitely one of the highlights of working at this job for me. I just poured so much of myself into this case, not just working on that motion (that I spent a solid month devoted to) but also getting to know the foster parents and handholding them through court dates that were disappointing time and time again, and just getting to know this little boy who I never got to meet because he was so terribly failed by the system put in place to protect him. And it made it personal, you know? Of course I knew all the issues the system has already and had heard plenty of stories, but when you find yourself in the thick of it with a dead little boy and 3 siblings who have been traumatized for life (and 2 newborns who will eventually learn that their parents let their brother starve to death 2 days before they were born) and I'm just struck by how incredibly preventable this all could've been. There were unfounded investigations as recent as a month prior to the death. They interviewed the neighbors, they knew, but they didn't tell anyone. The kids were in the system for fuck's sake. And they let them go back home- the judge who's courtroom I'm currently in and the lawyer I currently sit across from let them go back. And I don't blame them, I know they have to live with that weight and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. They couldn't have realistically known. But there were just so many failures along the way. And this is why I will ALWAYS push back against the idea of leaving kids in abusive homes because the foster care system is screwed up. Yeah, it sucks, believe me, I know. But kids left in abusive homes end up dead. People don't report child abuse because they don't want to get involved and kids end up dead. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to neglect one. YOU have a responsibility to EVERY child in your life to be looking out for their best interest, and if you are concerned for their safety, you NEED to intervene and call CPS. Of course it's not something anyone ever wants to do, especially when it's someone you know and may be close to. But it's infinitely preferable to that child ending up being killed and that parent sent to jail for the rest of their life. Contrary to popular belief, there are happy endings that come out of the foster care system. They're not all that common unfortunately, but they do happen. Kids get returned and live happy lives with their parents. Parents turn their lives around to get their kids back. Kids get adopted by foster parents who show them all the love they should've gotten from their biological parents. It's not every case, but there are happy endings. And a chance at a happy ending is so much better than at best an incredibly scarring childhood and at worst a child dying at the hands of their parent. I'm ranting, I know. But this case, I have to say, it really changed me. It gave me more drive than I ever thought I could have. I didn't think that drive could get any stronger, but it has. It got so much stronger. This little boy I never got to meet has changed my life so much. I'll never forget his name. And I'll fight for all the little boys and girls out there like him, to stop them from suffering the same fate and to find justice for those who unfortunately will. This can't keep happening. It simply can't. Sigh. Anyway. I should get back to my day now. Over lunch I ubered downtown to pick up my new 711 license, finally, so I was happy to get that back. And that was mostly my day at work. At 5 I ended up getting another uber downtown because I didn't want to risk timing on public transit, because I had a 5:30 meeting at school for the summer scholarship thing. It's just a reflection dinner and talking about experiences and such. We did the same thing last year. It was nice. My spring break friend was there, I wasn't expecting to see her because she has a different type of scholarship than I do and she wasn't on the email chain, so that was a nice surprise. I headed out slightly early at 6:40 so I could run down to Target and grab a prescription refill before their pharmacy closed at 7. From there took the red line home, walked and finally got to go to the farmer's market. It was so cute! Not just fruits and veggies but all sorts of vendors, I'm gonna have to go back with more money haha because I wanted so many things. I sampled some blueberry ginger beer which was very good, but had way too much of a kick for me to be able to drink more than a few sips of lol. There was a cheese person there, and on a whim I asked if she had any smoked mozzarella, and to my surprise she said yes (I was expecting her to be like uh, no....) so I bought some of that and oh my lord it is so fucking good, I can't even deal. I already ate like half the pack haha (it's string cheese) and you can tell it's super fresh and it's so superior to the packaged version. I'm just obsessed lol. Came home, had some eggs (because the pizza at the dinner wasn't very filling) and sat down to watch the last two episodes of young justice. Wally :( is it possible for it to have been sadder the second time around? Because it DEFINITELY was. But the scenes of them taking down the summit are SO epic, they kicked so much ass and I just wanted to hug Khalder because he's obviously been through so much this season and to have it end in a "victory" as a result of him killing his (evil supervillain, but still) father was just so obviously hard on him. And of course I feel so bad for Artemis, who DID NOT DESERVE THIS SHIT, OKAY??? All I'm saying is they better find a way to bring Wally back for Season 3 or I'm gonna be mad. But it really was an epic finale and they left so many clear plot threads for a third season to pick up that it's such a travesty it didn't happen sooner (at least it's happening now though). So after that I went back to Supernatural and got through almost two episodes before calling it a night, trying for a little earlier than usual but idk how much of a difference it made being that it's already midnight (sigh). I definitely won't have issues falling asleep though, because I'm tired AF. And I will get up in the morning if it kills me....I know I've been saying that every night, but still, I'm determined to do it. No more of this bullshit. If only depression were conquerable by sheer willpower....but we all know it isn't. Hopefully, somehow, the first increased dose of medication that I took tonight will help a little. Anyway. Sleep now. Eyes definitely want to be closed already and this post is already way too long. Goodnight my sweets. Have a lovely Thursday.

#daily journal #July 2017

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #237

"Love In The Tub, Yanufen Goes Vocal, Crim”

[CP] Has tossed his shirt off so he can feel his wife against him, he's been getting more and more frustrated since CN's been in the house-

[Lie] - CP?  Is everything okay?

[CP] - We are kinda alone...

[Lie] - And out in the open

[CP] Leans forwards and nips at his wife's neck- So?  Think of it as a challenge to stay quiet...

[Lie] Squeaks a little and shifts.  She knows this will probably help CP relax and not be so much of an asshole for the time being, but she's just worried about somebody seeing them-

[TLOT] Runs slow fingers over Steve's skin, making him tremble slightly and smile in his vulnerability.

[Steve] is laying in a small rug amongst Doc's collection on the second floor of the shrine. They know it's unlikely anyone will disturb them and it wouldn't be the first time they made love amongst the treasures and below the empty glass gaze of the Herobrine in the massive colored window.

[TLOT] Someone is contemplating love-making... Such a delicious feeling.

[Steve] mischievous- you should give them a little push...

[TLOT] Naughty lamb. But perhaps I might- he waves s hand idly, just flexing his powers to pull the two just a tad closer to their consummation.

{Lie] Lets a small moan pass her lips as she leans in closer to her mate-

[CP] Smirks and begins touching her in places he knows will get her aroused, he urges her closer to his goal-

[Lie] Looks pleadingly at him, her words slipping quietly past her lips- Please, before I change my mind...

[CP] Grins and moves his mate to a position where she's above him-

[Lie] Smoothly slides onto her husband leaning forwards and kisses him lovingly as he fills her ever so pleasantly-

[CP] Grins and pulls Lie closer, wanting so much but knowing he can't push her too much or she will make noise and he doesn't want others disturbing them and interrupting their fun-

[Lie] Is biting her lip to keep herself quiet and starts a little when she accidentally draws blood as she's being thrust into-

[CP] Quickly leans in to kiss and lick the blood away without pause in his thrusting.  HE can feel Lie tensing and smirks as he works on getting her to come-

[Lie] Is making some noises, not really loud enough to draw attention though-

[CP] Is getting a bit caught up in his need, wanting to hear his mate make noise as he pulls out and turns her over so she's leaning against the edge of the lava pool and enters her again from behind.  Lie is fighting all urges to make noise-

[Steve] Manages to pant as he's stripped of his clothes- Who-who are the oh-others?

[TLOT] Shakes his mates shirt in his teeth theatrically- Cp and Lie.

[Steve] Ooo-oh.... - Tenses as his cubes are exposed to the slightly chill air and lovingly fondled -

[Lie] Clamps a hand over her mouth as CP moves harder and faster, pressing into his wife and feeling her around him-

[CP] Reaches a hand around to grope at her chest and leans in to nuzzle and bite at her neck-

[Steve] Stifles a gasp, curling his fingers into his discarded clothing as    he prostrates himself before the armor stand bearing his mate's copied face-

[TLOT] Is nipping and kissing his mates upraised rear to hear the musical tones of pleading and want falling from Steve's lips. - I never get tired of hearing you beg for me...

[Lie] Groans as her hand moves away from her mouth to grab at cobblestone in front of her-

[CP] Reaches out and grabs her wrist on the other arm, dragging it behind her back, he growls a little as he picks up his pace a little more-

[Steve] Can't help but moan aloud as his mate suprises him by taking the miners rod in his lips and gently beginning to suck. Little pixels of sweat bead on his brow as the waves of heat and pleasure course through him.

[TLOT] Mumbles a little around his mouthful- I love you so much-

[Steve] Can't help but smile - I love you too -

[Lie] Let's out a bit to loud of a squeak as she comes-

[CP] Grins darkly as he moves so he can finish himself-

[Lie] - Ah...  CP...

[Deer] - Did you hear that?

[Doc] Has a front row seat to Yanufen's splashing around- Hear what?

[Deer] - It sounded like it came from the shrine...

[Steve] Comes softly and slumps with his head on the floor -

[TLOT] Feel up to a little worship my lamb?

[Steve] Y-yes.

[TLOT] Sits on a half slab step and watches with hungry anticipation as his mate sits back on his knees and bows before his god. He lays his hands gently on the humans shoulders, not pushing, just feeling the smoothness of the skin beneath his fingers. He lets one hand travel down, ruffling the bit of fuzz on his mates upper back.

[Steve] Kisses his lover over and over, laving his thighs and cubes with a hundred touches of warm lips before taking his Herobrine's rod easily into his own mouth. With practiced ease he swallows it down until the curls at the base tickle the little bump of his nose-

[TLOT] Sighs in appreciation. Just reflexitively petting his mate as he's pleasured-

[CP] Grunts as he comes, filling his mate and then some-

[Lie] Is trembling and feeling a bit like slime as she leans against the edge of the pool panting- CP...

[CP] - Yes?

[Lie] - Next time we're getting somebody to watch CN so we can spend more time on this...

[CP] Pulls Lie into an embrace and nuzzles her lovingly- Agreed...  So when do we kick the brat out?

[Lie] Just sighs-

[TLOT] Feels himself getting close and makes to pull away -

[Steve] Just shakes his head without letting go. He wraps his arms around his lovers waist and bobs his head faster-

[TLOT] Is twisted with the tension of his impending release and balls it up even tighter in anticipation-

[Steve] Goes all the way to the base and sucks near desperately-

[TLOT] Comes and fills his mouth with gusto, giving weak little thrusts as his mate swallows as much as he can manage. As he finishes, there's a bit of a pulse that spreads out in ripples of loving thoughts and feelings washing outward from the shrine to lap even at the walls of their village on the next chunk.

[Steve] Rocks back and gives a small burp before wiping his lips. - He smiles softly - I thought it was time to make our world even bigger.

[TLOT] You're so considerate.

[Doc] Shivers happily- Ooooh. Now that I did feel.

[Bee] What was that? I feel all warm and fuzzy.

[CP] Both he and Lie tense up a little as the pulse passes over them-

[Deer] - Mmhm

[Doc] Your primary gods making love-

[Spork] Wow...

[Mb] Makes a gagging noise-

[Deer] - Usually results in others having sex too

[Doc] Waggles hir eyebrows at Deerheart-

[Deer] Smirks- Only if we can find a babysitter

[Doc] Yeah I think our usual babysitter is probably lying in a puddle of spunk about now.

[Mb] What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Deer] - Nothing at all

[Mb] Just rolls his eyes for his own edification-

[Celine] Flapping around on the shore again-

[Yaunfen] Stretches before flopping in the grass-

[Doc] Puts hir head near Yaunfen- Are you tired little one?

[Candelabra] Little yawn - I don't know about your child, but I'm getting there.

[Deer] - Would you like an escort back into the village?

[Candelabra] I can see the wall from here. Is it safe for us to just walk back alone?

[Deer] Concentrates for a moment- Yes, especially since MB is within sight

[Mb] Bite me.

[Bee] Thank you both for your hospitality- She gets out of the water and shakes out her hair before bowing to them-

[Spork and Candelabra] Also get out and dry off as best they can.

[Lie] - CP...  I don't wanna get out...

[CP] - We don't have to yet

[Doc] I wonder if Cp and Lie just went home? They're being really quiet if not.

[Mb] Who the fuck cares?

[Pinwheel] Darts past to snap at a mouse-

[Deer] - We could go check...

[Doc] Nah, I'll just get yelled at I'm sure. - Xe rolls over in the water and exposes hir belly to the sun-  [Testificates] Head back to the village-

[Deer] Shifts into her dragon form and curls up next to Doc- Rest love, I'll keep DN away

[Splender] Picks up Pinwheel- Um...  I only see four morsels...

[Mb] Morsels?

[Splender] - The little pieces of meat

[Doc] Cuddles up next to her- You're the best - Xe wags hir tail lazily, letting the long hair float and curl in the water.

[Celine] Is sniffing in the grass and bounds upward in suprise as the last mouse makes a break for it- Squeak!

[Splender] - OH!  There it is!

[Mouse] Darts into the grass-

[Doc] Shit.... forget it. I don't have the energy to go chasing a mouse. It's got so little health, I'm sure something will get it, or it'll despawn since it's not named.

[Splender] - Okay...

[Exeggutor] Ambles over to Splender and looks down at Pinwheel -

[Mb] Okay, I'm done. Getting out now. - He shakes off and walks out of the water in just his undershorts. He climbs up the hill and gives a low whistle. - Ha! No wonder you were being so quiet Cp! Just banging the little woman in the hot tub. Pfft.

[Doc] Really? That's a bit odd, for Lie at least.

[CP] - If I could move I'd murder you...

[Mb] Too bad for you. - He scoops up Celine and starts walking back towards the nether portal building- Have fun fuckers.

-Little time skip-

-There's no rooster to crow but it's certainly morning. TLOT and Steve are cuddled in their beds. Arden is already on the internet tapping away. Zeke stayed up all night again and is now passed out. There's a worrying smoky smell in the lab again from someone else who couldn't sleep for a very different reason.

[Doc] Cuddles up closer to Deerheart as LH makes tiny snores across one of hir feet.

[Yaunfen] Was rolling around on the bed, having woken up when they roll towards the edge of the bed as a growth spurt happens- ...  Mada?  I squished...

[Doc] Blinks sleeply- You wha? Huh?

[Yaunfen] - I squished!

[Doc] Moves over and then sits up suddenly realizing thier baby said something other then Mada, fuck or burp. - Yaunfen? - Xe shakes Deerheart's shoulder-

[Yaunfen] Looks at them upside down from where they ended up-  I got squished...  I can't get out...

[Deer] Mumbles and opens her eyes- What is it?

[Doc] Reaches for their feet and tries to get them unstuck from their predicament.

[Yaunfen] Pops out of their predicament and tumbles across the bed and across Deer-

[Deer] Yelps-

[Doc] Yaunfen? Are you okay?

[Yaunfen] - Uh huh!  I grew!

[Doc] Hugs their neck- I can see that! I'm so proud! And more words too!

[Yaunfen] - Uh-huh!  I'm hungry...  Do we have more cake?

[Doc] Absolutely! - Xe rolls out of bed and dashes to the other end of the room to dig in the snack box.

[LH] Nearly gets pushed off the bed and gives a rather whiny protest.

[Yaunfen] Trots after Doc-

[Deer] Giggles- Should I make some food for you and I Doc?

[Doc] No! I mean... no. I'm staying down here for now. Not ready to face... - Xe turns quickly and digs out a cake before holding it out for their little one.

[Deer] - Do you want me to bring you some food?"

[Doc] No... I'll just pull something out of the creative- Looks a bit sad, and can't conceal a furtive glance at the staircase all blocked with wool again.

[Deer] Walks closer and hugs Doc- Then I think I'll go visit Flux for some more lessons

[Yaunfen] Takes the food and eats it with gusto-

[Doc] Holds her warmly-  If you want. I don't wish to burden you with my...

[Deer] Kisses Doc's cheek- I'll take the back exit

[Yaunfen] - Food!  Food!

[Doc] I'll follow you part of the way. I have a suprise for Yaunfen here anyway. - motions down the stairs-

[Yaunfen] Follows them curiously as they head down the stairs-

[Shaymin] Is rolling happily in the little patch of wheat and grass in the middle of the room.

[Galvantula] wandered onto Deerheart's desk in the middle of the night and is sleeping, covering most of it.

[Archen] Is flopped on top of the spider pokemon sleeping in a ball of feathers pose.

[Doc] Leads past them to a pair of light colored doors and opens one for Yaunfen. - This is for you. Big kids should have their own personal space. And I made a loft off to the side for when you get bigger and need more then a double bed.

[Yaunfen] Darts in sniffing everything- It's mine?  But where will Mada and Ma sleep?

[Doc] Where we always do kiddo. I'm keeping you close by so we'll hear you if you need us. And the pokemon are right there to keep any bad things away while you sleep-

[Yaunfen] A bit sadly- Not with me?

[Doc] Well you can still sleep with us if you get scared, or just need some snuggle time. But I think you'll need the extra space soon enough. And we can still have afternoon dragon naps on lazy days.

[Yaunfen] - Okay!  Now if only the cold meanie would go away...

[Doc] Yeah. I don't like him either...

[Deer] Takes Doc's hand- It's alright Doc, I'll protect you and Yaunfen from him...  And surprisingly Pinwheel will to

[Doc] I believe you. I know you're capable of so much. I think you'll be outshining me in a lot of areas if you keep training with Flux. I never thought I'd be excited to see Pinwheel bite someone.

[Deer] - I wonder if we can keep DN away if we offer to babysit Pinwheel some...

[Doc] Probably not. He's so stubborn. I wish he'd get some other hobby. It seems like he doesn't even sleep.

[Deer] - I wonder if CN could distract him at times?

[Lie] She and CP had been working on her portal making abilities that morning when he had been called off to his server because of a situation. She had decided to go on a ride. CN had insisted on coming so he was riding the donkey Stitch while Lie rode Beau-

[CN] Is trying to get Stitch to go faster but the donkey is ignoring him-

-Firebird's totally sitting in Gem's yard as a bird, plucking blue feathers-

[gem] -is on top of this roost she made for firebird and sees him plucking feathers and decides the swop down to meet him-

9:16 PM] Sock: [Firebird] -Looks up, a cluster of blue feathers in beak- chrrp

[gem] those are pretty why are you plucking them?

[Firebird] -soft distressed chorp while dropping them on the ground-

[Firebird] -Reaches back to pluck the last few-

[gem] -after he finishes she picks him up and flies back up the roost-

[Firebird] -Does the perch in her arms as she picks him up-

[Firebird] -excited chirp at the roost-

[gem] -puts him down on the beds and sits down next to him-

[Firebird] -Content bird noise as he stretches and curls up in the bed, looking at Gem-

[gem] -starts to hum as she starts to make a little red and orange planet crown for firebird-

[Firebird] -Leans head forward to watch closely-

[gem] -the materials seem to collect in a tightly packed planet when she makes each one then connects them as soon as she connects the first and last one together she turns to firebird and puts it on his head-

[Firebird] Chirp....

[Firebird] -Proudly lifts head and displays neatass crown-

[gem] -puts her start planet crown- now we both have crowns because we are epic

[Firebird] -happy face as he lays head down, only to note another blue feather he'd missed on his breast, right beside the scarred spot. He plucks it and moves to toss it aside- .... -Thinks better of it and turns to drop the feather on Gem-

[gem] oh thank you -takes it and puts it in the top of the star that's in in frount-

[Firebird] -Soft chorp-

[gem] would you like me to make you anything else out of planets?

[Firebird] -Shrug-

[gem] i don't know either -lays back and starts making a solar system-

[Firebird] -Content to watch Gem do so-

[gem] -is making a large batch of them-

-Firebird noses his beak real close-

[gem] -the place is looking like a galaxy. the sun in the middle of the solar system is hot like a real sun-

[Firebird] -Tries to doot his beak to the sun-

[gem] -notices- be careful those are like mini suns they are very hot

[Firebird] -Doots sun with beak, content chirp-

[gem] oh you like the heat well here -makes a neckless out of suns and puts it on firebird-

-Absolutely delighted bird noises-

[gem] -smiles she is happy she made firebird happy-

[Firebird] -eats one sun off the necklace whole, plopping head back onto bed contently-

[gem] -giggles-

[Doc] Manages to sneak out of the castle with Yaunfen and is headed down the road to Lie's house-

[Lie] - CN?  Do you need any help?

[CN] - NO!

[Doc] Manages to hide hir discomfort at the sight of Cn, but waves at them both in a friendly way.

[Lie] Turns Beau towards Doc- Oh, hey Doc.  Sneaking about?

[Doc] Yeaaahhh... I don't want to talk about it... but I do have good news.

[Lie] - What is it?

[CN] Is trying to get Stitch to go towards Lie...  The donkey would prefer to go another direction-

[Doc] Gestures at Yaunfen- My little one woke me up with a big suprise.

[Yaunfen] - Hi!  I got bigger!

[Lie] - I can see that!  Congratulations Yaunfen

[Doc] Puts their arms around Yaunfen's neck for a quick hug- My babies getting so big. I was thinking it would be a good time to check on the NOTCH's again and see if any of the baby dragons have developed speech yet.

[Lie] - Oh!  That sounds like a good idea.  Would you like some company?

[Doc] Oh yes. That would be appreciated.

[Lie] Smiles and tosses a rope around the donkey's neck- Let's go

[Doc] Do we need the mounts? Or are you just going to put them away?

[Lie] - I'll just put them away

[Doc] Follows the horses dutifully. Xe pulls out a peppermint cattail and plucks one for Yaunfen-

[Yaunfen] - Yummy!

[Lie] Jumps the animals into the pen and helps CN down-

[Doc] Walks along- Anyone else want one?

[Lie] - I'm sure the horses would appreciate it

[CN] - What is it?

[Doc] Cracks one in half and gives part to Beau and part to the donkey. Xe's pretty sure the vinehorse wouldn't be interested. - It's candy.

[Lie] - It's okay CN, they're really yummy

[CN] Isn't sure and hesitantly holds his hand out for a piece-

[Doc] Snaps another off like a little striped twig and passes it to him- Lie, do you want one?

[Lie] - Sure, why not

[CN] Takes a bite at it and makes an odd face, he's never tasted peppermint before-

[Doc] Breaks off one for hirself and another for Lie before putting the clump back in hir inventory. - Such a lovely plant. Though I'll never get sick of the berries we made toogether.

[Lie] - True- Lie begins descending down into the cave that the cage is in

[Doc] Opens the door to the cage and pauses to look up at the offensive plant clinging to the chandelier.

-The offensive plant quickly comes down to greet Lie who pets the plant-

[CN] - What is this place?

[Doc] It was originally meant to contain someone... now we use it as a vault to keep two entire worlds safe.

[CN] - Contain who?  The big meanie?

[Lie] Shifts nervously-

[Doc] we have used it for that before

[CN] - But who was it for originally?

[Lie] - That doesn't matter anymore CN, come on, let's go into the sub seed

[Doc] Opens a portal and steps into the open air of the other seed. Xe casts around for any sign of NOTCH Ai's or dragons-

[Lie] Guides CN through-

[NOTCHAI] Is helping some of the others garden in front of their shelter-

[Doc] Hello NOTCH. You guys have been making it more homey I see. Everyone getting along okay?

[NOTCHAI] - Ah, yes- He then notices CN- Are you bringing us another?

[CN] Kinda ducks behind Lie-

[Doc] No, unless he wants to stay at some point. This NOTCH was generated in response to Lie becoming a brine. My own showed up as well, he's... very unplesant.

[NOTCHAI] - I see...  I'm sorry to hear that, especially after how kind you've been to us...  I notice your child has grown bigger

[Doc] Thank you for that. I'm just glad I have good friends and loved ones to help me fend him off. And yes! Yaunfen is growing like one of Lie's plants. Just gave hir a big kids room of hir own. - Smiles at Yaunfen.

[Yaunfen] - My room!  My room!  Mada I have room!

[Lie] Giggles a little-

[Doc] Yep you do. And lots of books to nurture that sharp little mind of yours.

[Yaunfen] - Books!

[Doc] I came to check on you guys, but since my dragon went verbal I figured it was time to see if any of the babies here had done the same?

[NOTCHAI] Thinks for a moment- You know, I think I recall one of the others mentioning hearing something to the south, not too far away either since the others won't wander far from here

[Doc] Good enough for me. Actually, Cn? Do you want to hang out with the other NOTCH's for a bit? Talk some code while Lie and I pick around the nearby hills?

[CN] - Um...

[Lie] - Go ahead CN, you could learn some things

[CN] - Okay...

[Doc] We'll grab you before we go out. The portal from the cage is always in the same spot we came in from, over there-

[CN] Nervously- Okay...

[Lie] - Let's go Doc

[Doc] We'll be back. Come on Yaunfen, let's sniff out some other dragons.

[Yaunfen] - More friends?

[Doc] Maybe? We never know which ones will be smart like you and Liz and Endrea's kids.

[Yaunfen] - Awwww...

[Doc] Crests the hill and looks down- There are a few dragons playing in the grass, but none of them are very big. - I bet Thunder and Tsunami must be around.

[Lie] Searches and spots a black mass atop a nearby mountain- Up there

[Doc] Squints- You're right. Keeping a sharp eye out. - Xe walks along- Anybody around?

[???] - soft scuttle sounds on rock, the sound of many claws clicking -

[Yaunfen] Perks towards the noise-

[Doc] That's an odd noise. - Hello?

[Lie] Looks around in the grass a bit-

[Doc] Gets closer to a shadowy area near a patch of bare rocks-

[???] - sniffing sounds and a faint snort. Two yellow eyes open in the shadows -

[Doc] friendly tone-  Hello there. What kind of dragon are you?

[Lie] Keeps Yaunfen back so they don't scare the other dragon-

[???] - low hiss - Mine, mine... mine?

[Doc] Yours? Hey Lie! I found a verbal one! - turns to the dragon- What's yours? The cave?

[???] - more scuttling and a long black shape wanders away from the shadows. A long black dragon with red spikes and six legs, it stops just outside the shade and sits back on 4 out of 6 legs. In it's front paws, it's holding a black chunk of rock - Mine!

[Doc] Oh! You're so unique! What is it? Some coal?

[Lie] Softly- Awwwww...

[???] - watches closely, then slowly inches forward, holding the rock out toward them - Lick, tastie!

[Doc] Um? Are you sure? You said it was yours after all? - Is trying to get a look at the dragons teeth as they talk to see what kind of diet they have.

[???] - snorts, opening a mouth with only two visible fangs, the rest are long flat slabs. It takes a bite out of the rock.

[Doc] Ahh, I get it. I think you'd get along super well with our friend Liz. She likes to snack on crystals too. Do you have a name?

[???] - the dragon tips its head to the side, thinking then nods. With a paw it points to itself - Crim!

[Doc] Crim? I'm Doc and this is my child Yaunen and our friend Lie.

[Lie] Smiles gently and waves at Crim-

[Yaunfen] Tries lunging forward to sniff at Crim-

[Crim] - raises paw to wave back, but is startled but Yaunfen. Shrinks back, curling up into a ball so his spikes poke out, shaking - No!

[Yaunfen] - Friend? We play?

[Crim] - uncurls slowly, sniffing at Yaunfen- Play? Yes, play ok. Just no bite, no.

[Yaunfen] Jumps around happily, excited to play-

[Crim] - chomps the rest of his rock, then drops to all six legs to prance toward Yaunfen

[Yaunfen] Jumps at Crim- Play tag?

[Crim] - runs by and pats at Yaunfen gently with a foot - Go!

[Yaunfen] Happily takes off after them-

[Lie] Laughs a little- Looks like they're having fun...

[Doc] Looks like our quest has been rewarded. I think Crim is ready for a bit more stimulation then just running around in the wild. -Xe waves hir arms, trying to get the attention of the large black dragon on the promontory. It's hard to tell if it's Tsunami or Thunder from this distance. - Hey Crim? Would you like to come with us? We can offer food, a nicer shelter and an education if you want it. There are other verbal dragons on our seed to talk and play with too.

[Yaunfen] - Come with us! Come with us!

-The black dragon opens their wings and glides down beside them-

[Jean] Who are you? You better not be bothering the babies. Their adopted parents would be pretty pissed off.

[Doc] is surprised- I'm Doc. One of the admins for this seed. Who the heck are you? You're way to big to have been brought in with the babies.

[Jean] Scowls - I'm Jean, and the huge bitch let me in.

[Doc] What? Endrea? Why?

[Jean] To piss off my NOTCH.

[Doc] Wait, do you have a Herobrine? Or a Steve?

[Jean] His name is Steffan...

[Doc] Oh got the love of... Does Herobrine the Greifer King know you're here?!

[Jean] Yes...

[Lie] A bit worriedly- Doc?

[Junior] Wanders up, he's slobbering a little as his tongue hands slack.

[Doc] Gestures at Jean - this is the one that tortured Gk!

[Jean] I was doing my job! To protect my baby from NOTCHs wrath!

[Lie] - GK was tortured?

[Yaunfen] Sniffs at Junior- Play with us?

[Doc] He tried to kill Enderbro and Steffan and he was sealed in the End for a while as punishment while she chased him around and hurt him.

[Junior] Very slow blink and then some excited panting as they get the gist of the request, and prance a bit like a happy puppy.

[Lie] - Poor GK...

[Jean] a bit defensively- even if I'd have known he was a dragon trapped in the puny body of a Steve I could not have done things any differently. Our NOTCH is s capricious God who would not have hesitated to delete me and spawn another!

[Crim] - watches both the yelling woman and the other dragon carefully, worried.

[Yuanfen] Urges Crim to play again-

[Junior] Happy panting and bouncing around. He's big  and flapping his tiny wings with no real effectiveness,

[Lie] - Jean, was it?  Just what do you plan on doing now?

[Jean] Shrinks into herself - I plan to exist, and enjoy the sunshine for as long as it lasts.

[Lie] - And if GK comes here?

[Jean] He already has. I do not want to fight with him. Only protect my baby.

[Yaunfen] - Mada!  Mada!  Come play with us!

[Lie] Sighs- Well, so long as you don't start any fights...

[Doc] Tamps down hir General annoyance- aww you don't mind having a big kid romp with you?

[Yaunfen] - No!  No!  Come play!

[Crim] - wanders closer, but keeps Yaunfen between them and the larger dragon - Play good?

[Jean] Stares at her for a long moment- I have no wish to be destroyed. Thunder and Tsunami may not speak your tongue, but they are both greater in power then I. And Endrea made me swear to make no issues or she would punish me herself.

[Lie] - That does sound like her, just know if she is unreasonable towards you, you may speak to me.  Endrea answers to me

[Jean] You? I see that you have the eyes, but can I ask how you gained the loyalty of such a powerful beast?

[Lie] - It was her way of completely releasing herself from her NOTCH.  She could not make a contract with my mate as the rest of the mobs had, so she made one with me

[Doc] Takes a few steps back and shapeshifts with a little flourish-

[Jean] I think the NOTCHs do not realize the alliances forming against them. Thankfully for you all. -Is startled- what the?!

[Yaunfen] Laughs and jumps around, leaping up to tug at Doc's mane some-

[Doc] Shakes hir self off as the weight of the larger form settles around hir- ah, ready!

[Crim] - blinks in confusion, hunkering down, but not moving away.

[Doc] Has hir mane pulled- yipes! Gonna get cheeky with mada now that you're getting big huh? -Xe wiggles playfully and smootches Yaunfen on one of their thick horns.

[Yaunfen] Squeaks and falls backwards-

[Lie] Glances at the others before returning her attention towards Jean- I feel compelled to ask Jean, but will you help us fight the NOTCH's if the need ever arises?

[Doc] It's okay Crim, I won't hurt you.

[Jean] Looks at Junior- I promise nothing, he needs me. He... will never be independent I fear. I cannot risk leaving him alone. He would not survive...

[Crim] - sniffing then nods, relaxing and standing back up. He looks at Junior. - No step on, please? Play good!

[Junior] Cocks his head and just pants at Crim- Squeak!

[Doc] Romps gently, rolling in the grass-

[Jean] is just watching in amazement- is... Gk's? Predicament... Common? Dragons forced to be... humans?!

[Lie] - No, Doc and hir mate are different.  They have second bodies which were built for them

[Lie] Sits down to watch the others play-

[Crim] - runs around, darting between the larger dragons-

[Doc] Swishes hir tail enticingly to see if the little ones want to pounce it.

[Jean] They look pretty used to that shape for someone just wearing it...

[Lie] - They use it a lot

[Yaunfen] Immediately pounces the tail-

[Doc] Is just smiling broadly.

[Thunder] Soars by overhead-

[Doc] Calls out to the other dragon-

[Thunder] Cocks his head before spiriling down to land-

[Crim] - Squeaks, running behind Doc to hide -

[Doc] Waves cheerfully- It's okay Crim. It's one of the adults tasked with watching over you little hatchlings.

[Jean] Is a bit balled up with a submissive air-

[Thunder] Snorts at Jean a little before focusing on Doc-

[Doc] Crim here was interested in coming with us to the other server. I wanted you guys to know so you didn't think he was missing and panic.

[Thunder] Nods in understanding before checking over the other babies in the area-

[Doc] Okay Crim. You're go to go.

[Jean] Is guiding Junior to her with her tail and starts cleaning him.

[Doc] You can play with Yaunfen some more once we get back to my castle.

[Yaunfen] - Can they stay in my room?

[Lie] - Jean, there's no need to be so worried.  Thunder will not harm your child, especially with how many others he has to look after

[Crim] - slowly creaps back out and shuffles over to Yaunfen -

[Jean] Is just don't want to cause trouble...

[Lie] Laughs a little- They'd probably really appreciate it if you were to help them

[Yaunfen] Nudges Crim playfully-

[Doc] If you want to share, you can, Yaunfen. But I'll likely make a space for Crim too. So you aren't crowded.

[Jean] I-I'll think about it...

[Crim] - relaxes, but is cradling his tail in his front paws -

[Lie] Smiles gently at the female dragon before standing back up and dusting herself off- Shall we head back?

[Doc] Motions for the little ones to follow hir- Sure. Let's go pick up Cn.

[Lie] Brings up the rear to make sure nobody falls behind-

[Doc] Just trots along with small steps so the others don't fall behind.

-A few of the other smaller dragons dart by, but they ignore the procession, either more focused on playing, or seeking out territory-

[Doc] Gets a little distracted by them. - This all makes me so happy. All our little rescues.

[Lie] - And to think, Ashe started it all

[Doc] He's a good kid. And Endrea is a super mom. Plus I think babysitting has been really good for Gk. It's been a long time since I saw him pass out drunk anywhere. They make him feel wanted and needed. Maybe even respected.

[Lie] - I actually haven't seen GK since the runaway incident...

[Doc] I don't blame him for hiding. But I can pinpoint him when we get back if you're worried.

[NOTCHAI] Is helping CN pull some weeds-

[CN] Is pulling as hard as he can-

[Lie] Smiles at the sight-

[Doc] Hey Cn, nice to see you helping out. Did you guys have a good talk?

[NOTCHAI] - Yes, he seems rather...  Determined to a fault to protect his brine

[Doc] I guess it could be worse. And we did find what we were searching for. Crim? These are NOTCH Ai's. This one is the village leader here and the other is Lie's NOTCH, Cn.

[CN] Immediately wants to grab his sword to get between Lie and the new dragon, but the NOTCHAI stops him-

[NOTCHAI] - Now now, remember what we talked about

[Doc] It's okay Cn, Crim is friendly. He's just a child like you.

[Crim] - hisses and smoke puffs out his nose - Crim play good!

[Doc] That's right. You guys be nice to eachother.

[Yaunfen] - Play!  Play!

[Lie] Laughs a little- When we get home, okay?

[Doc] Pulls out a shulker box and passes it to the NOTCHAI - This is for you. It's just more supplies. Mostly food and stuff that's hard or impossible to craft.

[NOTCHAI] - Ah, thank you, I'll start organizing it soon

[Doc] Good enough. Come on guys, let's head back- Xe takes a few steps away and changes back to hir human shape before describing and opening a portal back into the cage.

[Lie] Steps through with CN closely following-

[Yaunfen] Bounds through-

[Doc] Casts around for a moment while xe adjusts to the slightly colder and damper air. Once everyone is through xe closes the opening.

[Lie] Stretches- Come on CN, let's head home

[Crim] - looks around in wonder, then darts forward -

[Doc] Leads the babies out into the tunnels, and stops for a moment to dig some coal from a wall to offer to Crim-

[Endrea] Is lounging on top of the roof in her dragon form-

[Crim] - sees what Doc is doing and joins digging coal out of the wall - NOMMIES!

[Lie] Laughs- Go ahead, I've got plenty in the house

[Doc] I figured. -  Quickly mines out a the whole vein, letting the items drop for Crim-

[Crim} - grabs the largest piece and starts crunching it up, little whisps of smoke curling out his mouth -

[Doc] Okay, bring your snack Crim, lets get back out into the sunshine - Leads upward-

[Yaunfen] Tries licking a piece of coal-

[Crim] - tries to carry as many pieces in his upper arms, while still chewing on the piece in his mouth., following -

[Doc] I think the coal from your seed is much tastier Yaunfen- Xe digs around and comes up with a hand sized spiral that smells strongly of licorice.

[Yaunfen] Leaps at it- Nummy!

[Doc] Just lets go so they can nom on it- I thought so.