#it is really just finding joy in whatever weird shit we can these days

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i #shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and #i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but #like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure. #whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i #should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh. #i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i #do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18 #days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno #how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do #something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do #i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its #like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be #miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do? #try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can #tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends? #id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st #roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can #never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated #unrelated

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas day 3: Oral

Pairing: Tetsuro Kuroo x male reader

This guy

Warnings: oral DUH, oral fixation, kissing, pretty pervy reader, kinda gay ngl, no sex again sorry but not really, I think that's it

Word count: 1134

You were just there by yourself watching the Karasuno and Nekoma Volleyball game alone. Like you showed up to all of the games...alone. The reason one may ask why you show up all the time without not really giving a shit about sports; well because the players are hot. I mean just look at them, getting all sweaty out on the field, muscular arms hitting the ball, large thighs in those tight gym shorts...Oh yeah and the athletics are cool and whatever.

You would fuck all of them if given the chance honestly. You were lost in such thoughts when the last ball was hit, fucking finally. Whenever these two supreme teams go head-to-head it always last for fucking ever.

Anway that is to say that the game was done, and the winner was Karasuno. Everyone got up from their seats and cheered, most were boo's sense it was a home game for Nekoma. You just sat down, catching the attention of a certain black-haired man.

After the men went around, high fiving and saying good jobs, you got up from the bleachers, on your way out because there is no use staying anymore.

On your way out and into the hallway you pulled out a cherry flavored lollipop and popped it right in your mouth. But before you could leave you felt a hand grip your own.

You looked back and saw that it was the 6'2" tall, tall, dark, and handsome man himself, Tetsuro Kuroo. You were in complete awe of the man before and why he was holding your hand when he finally spoke.

"Hey there cutie." He greeted, joy and anticipation apparent in his voice.

"Hi?" you said, confused by the sudden action. "Would you like something?" He takes a while with a cartoonish and dramatized look on his face.

"Umm, you," he said plainly. You start laughing but stop when you see complete seriousness looking back at you.

"You have to be joking, right?" You asked.

"Does it look like I am?" He questions back, though he has a charming smirk you can tell that he is still completely for real. Before you can answer, he pulls the sucker right out of your mouth and into his.

Again, a look of utter shock stains your face. Leaving you speechless.

"If you want it back then follow me." He demands then walks off into some undisclosed situation. You just stand there, looking dumb until you finally get the thought of fucking him in your mind and start to follow.

You run to catch up with him and follow suit. It's practically dead silence until he finds a secluded location, that being the locker room. You both walk in, and he cages you in his arms, your back being against the lockers. It really is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

After this he puts the sucker out of his mouth and puts it right in front of your face. You graciously accept but while your tongue is going for it, he is doing the same. You both meet in the middle like Lady in the Tramp style. At first you are completely surprised but give in anyway. Your mouths come together to suck on your lollipop. Your tongues are colliding and fighting for the sucker. Eventually he wins and puts it completely in his mouth, but you will not stand for this.

You kiss him, taking the opportunity to have the sucker, your mind now only obsessed with that. Your tongue goes into his mouth so that the sucker is once again shared between the two of you. Your arms going to his muscular chest, looking for anything to grab onto due to the overwhelming passion of this weird lollipop kiss.

But this isn't food kink, so he just lets you have it so that we can all get on to the good part. Now that you have the sucker you don't even care at this point. You threw the sucker on the floor, your attention switching to kissing him. His arms go to grope your ass, giving it a firm grip. This makes you moan, and he takes this chance to run his tongue deeper down your mouth, exploring the whole thing.

He pulls away, noticing that you are running out of breath.

"Could you maybe..." he paused, gesturing towards his lower body. You look confused and then realize what he's gesturing too and automatically get down on your knees.

"Well, that didn't take much convincing." He stated, giving an approving smile.

"I aim to please." You said, a smirk, blush evident on your face.

You pull down his pants and boxers and HOLY FUCK THAT IS THE BIGGEST DICKS YOUVE EVER SEEN, and you've seen a lot, you're gay. It is extremely long with a pretty decent amount of girth and a trimmed yet still noticeable jet-black bush. He laughs at the surprised look you have on.

"Scared?" He questioned, laughing all the while. You shut him up by giving tiny little kitten licks pre cum already developing from the tip. You lick it off and then continue the rest of your tiny licks off the tip, licking the pre cum when it arrives.

"Come on, you can do better than that." He taunted. You ignore him, doing little kisses all throughout his shaft. The little kisses develop into licking up and down the entire rod. This makes his cocky persona falter as he accidently lets out a noticeable groan.

This encourages you to try harder. You finally begin to put the whole thing into your mouth. You start with just the tip but then develop into putting the whole thing.

"Oh fuck yes." He moaned out in ecstasy. You start with slow, controlled movements, struggling to fit the whole thing in your mouth AND move. You put your tongue under your shaft which makes him moan awfully loud.

Your head going up and down much faster, the delicious taste of his pre going down your throat. His cock doing the same, almost melting in your mouth and slipping up and down your throat. Tears begin to develop in the corner of your eyes in which he kindly wipes off with his thumb.

"Jesus fucking Christ you're amazing at this." He praised, he means the compliment, yet he still wraps his hand in your hair and starts thrusting his hips into your mouth. Gargled noises come from you due to his rapid thrusts.

After giving in a few more pumps, he finally cums in your mouth, in which you gladly swallow up once he takes his member out of your mouth. His breath was shallow and gasping.

"Thank you, *pant* That was fucking *pant* amazing." He gasped. "Now for the good part."

THE END

#x reader #x male reader #x reader smut #x male reader smut #reader #male reader #reader smut #male reader smut #anime x reader #anime x male reader #anime x reader smut #anime x male reader smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x male reader smut #haikyuu x reader smut #kuroo x reader #kuroo x male reader #kuroo x reader smut #kuroo x male reader smut

[beanghostprincess]

Roger really DOES have mad girldad energy and I am feral.

Welcome to my walls btw, it's hot af in Florida, so lmk if you need a popsicle/hj

Just. Omfg imagine Toki and Buggy bonding SO MUCH and Toki is the one who helps Buggy find Her Style and Her Confidence. Oden also has Big Himbo Dad Emergy too, so I bet he'd just be like ":000 a GIRL! WONDERFUL!!! I shall have TWO daughters!"

Roger ofc takes big offense to that and it becomes a shipwide brawl over who gets to be her dad, and Buggy is just laughing, crying, pickpocketing everyone. Only like. Three fellas even have the driving NEED to call her their daughter, they just love the chaos. Shanks is just left GAPING bc ofc he loves Buggy, he always has, always will, but the way she was smiling, the way she's just beaming at the acceptance, no matter how dramatic it is - by Davy Jones, it steals his breath away.

Whatever you do tho, don't imagine Toki dressing Buggy up in traditional Wano attire. Don't imagine Toki taking on the role of aunt or big sister and sharing this culture with Buggy. Teaching her the ways of warriors from her homeland, the codes and dress and recipes. Don't imagine Toki telling Buggy "family secrets" like recipes, fighting styles, etc. Don't imagine Toki just easily saying that of course Buggy needs to know these things! Blood is but the fluid of life, and love is what makes a family - and Buggy has so much love to give, so much to receive, and Toki calls her a child of Wano in heart and soul, in all the ways that matter should Buggy want that.

And Buggy, who has only ever wanted to BELONG, oh she accepts without hesitation.

Leaving Toki behind was hard, but she gifts Buggy an heirloom of sorts, a hair piece that she keeps either tucked under her beanie or safe in a chest, anchored to the floor of her room ((or hidden carefully with Devil Fruit powers)).

The day Toki manages to make/get a suitably sized kimono for Buggy, maybe for a party on the ship, maybe a birthday celebration ((and here I insert my Wano Culture Headcanons, that there's a birthday where children transition to young adults, and it's similar to a quinceñera but different, partially because it's done at 13, and then a second one at 18, a five year period of growth, life compared to butterflies, and so Toki convinces the crew to do these for the Cabin Kids-))

Buggy comes out, hair done, kimono flawless and bright and bold and so very her, a quiet joy on her face, and the crew is FLABBERGASTED.

Roger is sobbing.

Rayleigh has suddenly aged 20 years because oh shit oh gods she's going to be beautiful as an adult, oh damn it all he's gonna have to beat men off of her-

Shanks is caught between swooning, wanting to tackle her, and remembering just how the heck breathing works.

((Roger, Rayleigh, Crocus and Oden do rock paper scissors to get the first dance with her, and it dissolves into a fist fight somehow. Shanks gets involved and bites them. Toki takes the first dance.))

I have. So many emotions about transfem Buggy, bestie, send help it's all my brain can think about.

It's okay, I miss hot weather because here in Spain I am freezing and I am a spring child. My spiritual flower is a sunflower. I need the SUN. I NEED TO GO INTO THE FLAMES. So I'll stay there happily.

Please, Toki would so adopt Buggy. And Oden would be THRILLED. He'll see them getting along and he'd instantly say they look like mother and daughter. Buggy would be shy about it but Toki would probably laugh and say "Oh! Do we really? What do you think, Bugs?" and it's just,, So sweet,, Oden loves her a lot and he can't wait to see his Hiyori grow up too. Roger would be FURIOUS when he hears that because he "found her first" which, you know, true, but it's a weird way of saying that's his daughter. Anyway- Rayleigh would be so fucking done with everything. They'd fight about it and Buggy would actually have the time of her life because she feels important and flashy for once in a long time, and she'd laugh oh so beautifully at them when talking with Shanks about it in their room. Like she'd just laugh at the situation and Shanks is still not getting used to his very very not platonic feelings for his best friend. But he'd enjoy his time with her. He's just going a bit insane.

I can't stop thinking now about Buggy finally finding a place to belong. She's been lost for so long,, Feeling left out. And now Toki has gifted her with the most precious treasure there is: A home. Belonging. And I am so so emotional right now. Toki would be so proud of her and Buggy would just be so thankful. If Buggy called her 'mom' at some point, she'd feel embarrassed right away, but Toki would probably fight the tears and hug her close. Going crazy, really. All the men in Buggy's life fighting for her first dance,, Rayleigh just knows he'll have to fight all the men that hurt his precious star. And Shanks is starting to think about that too and the thought of Buggy dating somebody else makes him sick, so perhaps he needs to start with a plan to confess finally (he's so asking Toki about it. I'm gonna cry). Roger crying because he wants to enjoy every second he has left with her... It kills me.

I just know that to this day, Buggy still thinks about Toki as her mom. She never mentions it to anybody, but she feels such a strong connection to Wano and she's dying to go there finally someday. She might have not been born there, but her soul belongs there. And it's just so sweet. I am sobbing, thank you. Every time she does her hair, she feels Toki's hands instead of hers and she remembers everything she taught her,,,

Now I have on my mind a very silly Shuggy thought about Shanks trying to flirt with Buggy but failing miserably (because he's a kid and he only knows how to tease her or follow Roger's advice which are, um, not good) and Buggy just being so done and exhausted. She can't stand him! He's so annoying! Sometimes she doesn't know if she wants to punch him or kiss him! And she doesn't even know if Shanks likes her back because he keeps acting stupid. And she goes to Toki for advice and she's like "oh, darling... Men are stupid. Do you know why you felt smarter than them when you were unaware of being a girl? Well, one of the reasons is that Shanks is a kid. He's dumb. But he loves you and cares so much for you... He's just having a hard time trying to make his way to your heart" / "But he-! He's so damn- Ugh. He's such an idiot. He already did, and he just doesn't know because he can't see it and I can't stand him-" / "Well, maybe you should be the one telling him, huh?" / "What?! No! And give him the satisfaction of thinking I fell first?! I'd rather die. No. He has to make the first move". And now Toki is involved (like the rest of the crew because Shuggy is a whole teen drama) in their love story because Buggy keeps complaining about men being stupid and Shanks keeps saying he doesn't get how Buggy can't see he's in love with her.

#i think we're soulmates anon you always write exactly what i'm thinking :(( #this is just so beautiful i am sobbing and now i want to write countless fics about this #god i swear this whole thing made my day #thank you so much for your asks really <333 #fem buggy lives in my mind rent free forever i love her so much she's so important to me #one piece #buggy the clown #fem buggy #kozuki toki #roger pirates #red haired shanks #shuggy

[password-door-lock]

The third consecutive time that you call him, Saeran decides to cut his losses and pick up. It goes without saying that he’s in a shitty mood about it— who do you think you are to bother him like this, and why did he have to inherit such an annoying toy in the first place? Can’t you follow the instructions that he gave you? He shouldn’t have to tell you multiple times to just stay in your room and wait. But then again, of course you would be troublesome. If Ray liked you, and if you actually liked him back, then it probably follows that you’d be a little strange-- though that’s no excuse for interrupting his work. “When did I tell you that you were allowed to bother me while I’m working?” He snarls.

“Hey,” you greet him, as if you didn’t hear the question he just asked. Unbelievable. “Good morning! Did you sleep well?” 

“Why are you asking something like that?” Saeran demands, “Don’t tell me you’re trying to get rid of me by boring me to death.” 

“The opposite,” you assure him, “Like, I see what you mean about this place being boring— as you know, you just left me here to sit around, and as instructed, I’ve been brainstorming ways that I can entertain you, and I decided to call, since I thought you could use a break.” 

So you finally want to be useful? Still, Saeran’s expectations for you aren’t very high. Just because you claim that you want to entertain him doesn’t mean you’ll actually try to do it, let alone succeed. “Then why are you wasting time by telling me good morning?” 

“Because that’s a thing that people say to each other when they talk on the phone before noon,” you explain, “And sometimes after noon when they don’t realize that it’s not morning anymore, and they say ‘good morning,’ and the other person says, ‘it’s two thirty,’ and the first person is like, ‘oh shit I’ve been reading fic for how long?’ Et cetera.” He doesn’t bother asking you what you’re talking about— if he did that every time you said something ridiculous, Saeran would never get anything else done.

“And now you’re wasting time by telling me why you’re telling me good morning?” He huffs, incredulous. “Do I have to give you a step-by-step guide for how to have a conversation, or is even that too difficult for you?” 

“You asked,” you protest, still sounding for all the world like this is the best day of your life. What reason do you have to be so chipper? “You wanted to know why I said good morning, so I explained why I said good morning. I am following your instructions to a T, sir.” 

“Prince(ss),” Saeran warns. He really does not have time for this conversation, and he doesn’t have time to interrogate the joy in your voice. You’re supposed to be miserable, so why do you sound so excited to be talking to him? “Stop blabbering and start trying to find a way to entertain me. That’s why you called in the first place, isn’t it? So you should go ahead and try it before I really lose my patience.” He doesn’t want to hear any more of your cheerful voice. It doesn’t belong in a place like Magenta, anyway.

“What patience?” You ask, sounding proud of yourself for thinking of the one-liner. Before Saeran can admonish you for mocking him, suddenly you’re talking again: “But, whatever, you want me to entertain you, so I’ll entertain you. I just have a couple of questions before we start— okay, first of all, how familiar would you say you are with dad jokes? Like, where are you on a scale of one to ten?” 

Saeran doesn’t have the slightest idea what you mean by that. He assumes it’s just some silly thing that weaklings like you like to waste time thinking about, and decides not to engage with your weird question. “I thought I told you to stop spouting nonsense,” he growls. “Do I have to talk slower so that you can understand? If you know what’s good for you and you’re able to comprehend what I’m saying, you’ll cut the act now, prince(ss).” 

“Mhm, okay,” you reply, which is not necessarily an answer to his question. “What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?” 

By this point, Saeran is fuming. You called him while he was working and strung him along with that whole good morning song and dance just to ask him about a blanket? “I said entertain me, not ask stupid questions!” 

“It said, ‘Oh sheet!’” You cackle. 

Saeran smirks, though the so-called “joke” was not remotely funny. He’s more amused by how much you’re laughing about it— seriously, is that all it takes for you to go to pieces? What an airhead.“You must be intentionally trying to piss me off,” he decides. 

“I’m trying to make you laugh,” you pout. It seems you’re always trying to make him laugh, but Saeran doesn’t understand why. Is it that hard for you to just act how he wants and be scared of him? That would be much less of a hassle for everyone involved. You were willing to listen when Ray told you to get into a strange vehicle and put on a blindfold, but suddenly you’ve forgotten how to follow instructions? What kind of messed-up logic is that? “Okay, okay, I’ve got a better one. What’s black and white and red all over?” 

Are you just going to sit around asking stupid questions all day? “What are you—” 

“The RFA messenger!” You giggle. You even have the audacity to cut him off. “Get it? Get it? Because the app display is black and white, but you’ve read all the messages, so it’s read all over.” Oh. Read, not red. 

Saeran can’t help but laugh a little at that— he couldn’t care less about the word play, but at least you seem to understand the extent of his control over the messenger. “Yes,” he confirms, “I’ve seen everything you’ve said there, so you should watch it when you’re typing to your friends.” But, then, if you’re able to understand the situation, why are you still so full of hope? 

“Oh my god,” you breathe with exaggerated surprise, “Did the great hacker of Magenta just… laugh at my joke? I feel so accomplished! Let me tell you, man, there’s so much more where that came from. Feel free to call me whenever you need to cheer up; I’ll be here, sitting around and thinking of jokes.” What the hell are you talking about? You must think you can manipulate him by catching him off guard or something.

“Don’t get too full of yourself, toy,” Saeran spits in a vain attempt to ruin your mood. What gives you the right to be so happy-go-lucky when you’re locked up in the toy room, rotting with your thoughts? “I’ll come see you soon to remind you of your place.” He leaves you with that, hangs up, and turns off his notifications. He won’t allow you to bother him while he’s working again— but it goes without saying that he’ll be thinking about ways to bother you.

#Fun fact about the black white and red/read all over riddle it's pretty much untranslateable #However once I thought of what's black white and read all over/ the RFA messenger I could not get it out of my head #And realistically if I were MC in this situation I would be throwing everything at the wall trying to make this man laugh #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran

[catchyhuh]

You once told about crying, so let's talk about the happier scenario: LAUGHTER. We were shown them sharing it a lot in canon but maybe you have some additional thoughts? Who would have the most twisted, dark sense of humor? Or maybe the cringiest? Who would laugh his butt off while reading some stupid text on the birthday card on the local shop? Does any of them snort or hiccup while giggling? Are any of them ticklish on some unusual spot? Do they prank each other? And what do they do to actually cheer up the others? Those kind of headcanons!

oh my god. i want to hug you. you’re right we DO need to talk about this!! peace and love and joy on planet earth!!!! all of them laugh when they see a guy walk headfirst into a glass pane and only two of them sort of kind of feel bad about it

lupin:

it takes almost nothing to make lupin laugh. and he’s not even fucking with you either he just sincerely thinks THIS much is funny but he has more of a control over his giggles than people might assume. he CAN stop laughing but he knows its obnoxious to people so he DOESN’T 

he knows how to weaponize levity. like, he really does have more emotional maturity than people give him credit for (not that he’s GREAT about it, just better than people give him credit for!) and it’s been shown multiple times that he tries to use laughter to pull people out of their emotional pits of despair. he exaggerates his gestures, he makes weird faces, and since he’s already such an animated person you wouldn’t even realize it’s an intentional thing unless you really knew him

lupin arguably pulls pranks every day, but not on his gang. at least, not the standard kind. it turns out people with nightmarishly fast reflexes have um. pretty wild kneejerk reactions if you pop out from behind a corner to try to scare them! usually he just replaces unimportant items for the hell of it. sour cream in the yogurt tub. pens replaced with black straws. shit that’s annoying but never WILD. he saves that for the heists 

jigen:

jigen laughing is (like so many things) ENTIRELY dependent on his mood. if he’s grouchy it’s almost impossible to make him laugh, even if it’s something he normally finds hilarious, but if he’s easygoing on this particular day it’s not. i mean its a REASONABLE level. it’s reasonable. honestly a lot of it has to do with the person it’s coming from too so it’s like. there’s factors. there’s factors to what makes him laugh. and oddly enough none of it has to do with his sense of humor. although in THEORY he would be the pickiest. it’s not HIGHBROW good lord not highbrow humor by any means, but he’s like. unimpressed with absurdist meme humor. probably because so much WAY wackier shit happens to them organically every damn day BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS

jigen. is a very loud laugher, when he gets to that very sincere point. like if he’s outside checking the mail or whatever and you’re standing in a bedroom upstairs on the opposite side of the house, and he sees a squirrel fall out of a tree flailing wildly before it just lands on its feet, blinking in confusion… you’ll know. you’ll know he saw that. and so will any house that happens to be in a 1 mile radius of the hideout. full lung capacity, clutching his stomach, pointing and everything. 

fujiko:

it is not impossible to get fujiko to laugh. difficult, but not impossible. especially because she’ll just do that laugh that indicates “that was funny/entertaining” but doesn’t actually like. turn into real laughter.  but fujiko sincerely, fully breaking into a laughing fit is like a haley’s comet level rare, beautiful event in nature. i know i said she never CRY cries but her eyes water up almost immediately the minute she starts laughing laughing, and her face gets all red and streaky. it’s exceedingly undignified. it’s so great

fujiko does admittedly find things funny the most in a like. objective sense. she’ll watch a movie and grin and be like “that was funny” and it’s like. ok then why aren’t you laughing? SHE JUST HAS A HIGHER COMEDY TOLERANCE. it’s not even one of those things she’s trained herself on. it’s just. being around these idiots for so long she has come to realize if she actually did start cracking up every time one of them did something stupid, intentional or not, she would have fractured a rib by now, and that’s just not super ideal for anybody really,

tied with jigen for the darkest sense of humor, easily. of course, again, unlike jigen, she won’t immediately start losing it, but her eyes will widen with this like flash of humor and she’ll just kind of smile tightly because she KNOWS she shouldn’t laugh at generic dead baby joke number 482938 but unlike jigen she cares at least a little about not seeming like a total ass. just a lil.

goemon:

less giggly than lupin, more giggly than jigen. goemon’s sense of humor is kind of hard to pinpoint, even for him. it could be something as simple as someone deliberately mispronouncing a word that gets his smile all twisted up, it could be a stupid pun, but he INSISTS he does NOT find others getting hurt funny. he insists. and then when lupin actually trips and eats shit and jigen immediately bursts out laughing goemon turns his head away like No No No it's not funny i will not laugh. i won’t BUT IT’S TOO LATE. WE’VE ALREADY LOST HIM. not above finding others’ misfortune funny in other ways though, he just (says) bodily harm isn’t funny. someone trying to step out of the rain and getting an entire awning’s worth of water dumped on them though, he will admit that shit is funny as hell

when goemon really REALLY starts laughing like, uncontrollably, can’t stop laughing, he just stops making noise. but he hates how stupid he must look with his mouth hanging open and no sound coming out, so he tucks his chin and halfway tries to cover his face, his shoulders just shaking the whole time. of course it takes a lot to get to that point like a LOT lot, so it’s amazing he’s as concerned about it as he is

zenigata:

zenigata WANTS to be like jigen in the “this is serious i'm mad at you. stop giggling” sense but he’s. not as sturdy in that department. he like draws his mouth super tight to stop from smiling and he’s like “this is not funny. stop. stop it. ITS NOT F--” and then he puts his head in his hands to try to stop laughing but it’s too late the dam has already broken

like with crying, he doesn’t ever really feel the need to stop himself from laughing outside of I’M SERIOUS CUT IT OUT type situations. like he gets giggly just when he’s in a good mood and nothing funny has even happened yet. and like with literally everything with him he’s loud. very loud. almost anything can get him to laugh, nothing is too stupid or juvenile despite what he insists. also sometimes laughs when he’s nervous, and it’s like, the only time he’s at a semi-average volume doing it. because he’s fearing for his life. it happens.

#i didn't get into it tooooo much cuz like you said it's pretty much spelled out for us just. IN canon. BUT WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE #WE LIKE TO GET SILLY WITH IT. PART 2 LEVELS OF SILLY. MAYBE EVEN PART 3 LEVELS IF WE DARE TO DREAM #lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin #jigen #fujiko #goemon #zenigata #asks

[sakannaz]

𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑

— ✰ 𓊆 𖨆 ♥︎ 𖨆 𓊇 (Angel torres x gn!reader)

➪ Summary: you were a dork but that’s why angel adored you, but he doesn’t admit it until the weird stuff starts happening at the Haywood’s.

⚠︎︎ Warning(s): cussing, blood, that scene where Jean jacket literally dumped blood on the Haywood’s house.

ㅤ─┈‌┈ִ┈─┈︪︩┈ׂ┈─┈‌┈┈ִ┈─

You were going to visit the Haywood's today, they kept telling you about this weird alien or something but you didn't care.

You knocked on their door a bit loudly, you heard a sigh on the other side and saw oj open the door.

"Why you here (Y/n)?"

He asked, you only hopped up in down in joy, that's when he realized why you where here, you were here to help fix the cameras since angel somehow couldn't find a way to fix it.

"Can I come in, please?"

You asked, he moved to the side so you could come in, he went to go talk to em, you brought out your non-electrical camera and walked upstairs.

You looked at the security camera footage and all you saw was just..static or whatever it was called.

That was odd, and it was odd the electricity kept going out every single day and night. What exactly was happening here?

You had your suspicions but decided to ignore them, as you were fixing the security camera you looked at one pirticular cloud that never seemed to move.

"HEY, EM-"

You yelled, she turned to you and waved, you waved back.

"WHATCHU WANT?"

She yelled back, you placed a finger on your lips before giving her a mischievous smile.

"can I stay the night?"

You yelled back, she huffed before nodding and you saw oj walking away, she was calling after him but you didn't hear much of what they were saying.

Then you saw a black van pull up, oh, that must've been Angel. What was he doing here though?

You ran back downstairs and walked towards em, angel appeared beside her and began to explain something to her.

𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃

Okay, now there was some really odd shit going on cause the lights had turned out, what the hell just happened?

You tried turning the tv back on but you were out of luck, you pressed the remote but still, it didn't turn on.

"Okay, weridly enough I can't turn on the tv and that's a big issue for me cause I'd like to watch another one of my soap opera's."

You complained, angel chuckled at your comment, em looked out the window and suddenly the lights turned out.

Wait- what?

They were just fine a second ago, you made sure to fix the electricity even though you brought a non-electrical camera.

Nah, this was so werid and this wasn't even the twilight zone, what in the hell was happening?

When you looked out the window something was hovering over the house, it looked like an alien ship- this really did look like something that came out of the twilight zone.

"what in the fuck is that?"

You whispered to yourself, you shrugged it off and ran inside the kitchen, you accidentally bumped into someone and it was angel.

"I WAS GOING TO SWIPE YOU ACROSS THE FACE WITH THIS BROOM, DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN."

You yelled, Angel stood there confused until he shook his head.

"listen, listen to me, stay in the house, do not fucking go out there cause whatever that thing is- it could probably gobble you up for godsake while it's spilling out blood."

He said, you looked at him with confusion, so he saw this thing before?

"and please don't swipe me across the face, I'd rather keep my face the way it is. And if we do die there's something I want to tell you-"

He continued to ramble while shaking you by the shoulders, you stood there awkwardly and tried to process his fast words.

"okay then-"

"ilikeyoualotandifwedoendupdyingijusthavetotellyouthisbeforewedieandimsorryididnttellyousooner." (I like you a lot and if we do end up dying I just have to tell you this before we die and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.)

Okay, now what in the hell did he just say? You tried to slow his voice down in your mind so you could really understand.

"angel- chill dude, I like you too. And that was cringe. It was like an anime confession, don't do that again."

You said, giving his shoulder a reassuring pat, he sighed in relief.

You grabbed a knife and crawled under a table, angel following suit and holding a knife in his hand.

"Now what the fuck is y'all doing?"

Em asked.

"SURVIVING!"

You whisper yelled, she sighed loudly before hiding behind a couch, hoping whatever was there didn't see her.

You feel Angel take your hand in his and squeeze it tightly, you wished upon a star that this fucking thing would go away.

And weridly enough...you got your wish.

#angel torres x reader #nope x reader #nope 2022 x reader #Angel torres x gn!reader #xreader #reader insert

[aftonfalk]

GROWTH IN NATURE

Holy shit. The last few days have been insane. We drove 10 hours to get to Styrn in Norway. I had no idea that we could get this kind of scenery in our neighbouring country! Feels like Im in Lord of the rings, Vikings or Game of thrones or something.

I have done things these days I thought was almost impossible to do beacuse of my health anxiety. I realize how priviliged it is to worry about things like this when I have it as good as I do.

A month ago I had anxiety about traveling here (being far from a major hospital) but I did it.

I have had symptoms, but nowhere near as many as back home. I have climbed a mountain 2x times and ignored my intrusive thoughts about heart issues and having a heart attack doing it. Everything went fine, of course. I feel stronger and have so much more confidence than before. Im in a period of finding myself after 2 years of stress and pain. Finally, I feel like Im healing.

The day before yesterday we visited a glacier, packed with weird ass tourists. Kinda spoiled it for us. Some people are so moronic they think its okay to walk up to a strangers dog and start msking faces and petting it. Our puppy is only 9 months old and she has some sort of social issues (she has always been so scared of other people and dogs and are often on high alert around new people). Everything is going great when she just walks beside us and no one is interacting with her but some dumbass teenagers and kids and a retarded middle age man thought it was fun running up to here and making noises. Me and Carl Carl had to literally swat away peoples hands and Carl got into a verbal fight with a french family that was too persistent. So yeah, supercool glacier but the tourist just maked everything feel off.

Yesterday we did the big hike. 4 hours up the mountain. We went out around 12 and it was too hot to handle. The perks of being at a place where there is no one else is that you can kinda do whatever you want. Both me and Carl were more comfortable walking topless. I felt so free, like a prehistoric woman or something hahah. Felt really connected to nature and myself. When we reached a valley and sat down to take in the scenery I cried tears of joy over how beautiful it were and the otherwordly experience of not seeing another living soul for miles.

Today is a lazy day at the cabin, I did my morning pilates on the lawn, looking out over the mountain. (I have never felt so blessed) after breakfast me and Carl have been out on a walk (tried to fish in a pond but failed) and now we sit in the sun eating chips, Carl is drinking beer and Im gonna take some time for myself and write on one of my short stories.🌻

#gad #generalized anxiety disorder #healthanxiety #into the woods #woods #aesthetic #norway #stryn #fjäll #hiking #log cabin #mental health #nature #naturelovers #partnership #healing #pilates

[orowyrm]

i do like my work lanyard pin collection thus far though. all the visitors love it. either the ‘this is fine’ or the spongebob one or the tbh all seem to grab attention :) lots of shy looking kids will come up to me like “uh..um…. i like your uh. your pins…” and it always makes me smile. it sucks that working in VisEx comes at the cost of people using you as a punching bag because i love love love interacting with visitors like that. favorite interaction to date was seeing a kid clearly overwhelmed by the crowds on a very busy day and covering their ears and their parents didn’t seem to know what to do so i hustled over to the family and informed them we have sensory bags at the front desk with noise cancelling headphones and fidgets that they can borrow if they want. and the kid looked nervous and kinda self conscious so i was like “haha it’s up to you guys! i wouldn’t blame you for wanting one, though. i have to take a lot of breaks when we get this busy too. if you change your mind, just find someone with a lanyard or a nametag like mine and we can get you one ok? and if you need to step outside for some air, you guys can exit and re-enter as many times as you want today as long as you have your tickets!” and the kids face lit up. all day whenever i passed that family in exhibits or the lobby the kid would smile all big and wave to me and point at their headphones or hold up the fidget they were playing with. shit like that is what i mean when i say i love my job like yeah working with fish is cool but i really really love getting the chance to help kids have that aha moment of “oh, i’m not the only person who deals with this? there are grownups like me? grownups with cool jobs who are nice and can help? wow!” because i would’ve killed to have someone like that when i was a kid getting overloaded at the museum or whatever instead of having everyone look down at me weird. i’m way off topic but while i’m rambling every time a kid approaches me with a fish question i have to hold in tears of joy because they always ask the most interesting questions and they get SO EXCITED when someone listens and answers instead of shrugging them off. had a long convo with a little girl about what crabs think about the other day. after much deliberation about how we don’t know what goes on in their heads, but we can try to guess by thinking about what it must be like to be a crab and what they do all day, she decided that they think about what kind of sand is the most fun to walk on and which fish are nice to them and how many things they pinched today. she’s a visionary

[instantdepresso]

I said I would write something about my weirdo trio during their time in Orr and now it's there! Hurray!

Asoka is sixteen when he’s sent to Orr with the rest of the Pact soldiers. He’s sixteen and had traded a life in the streets of Divinity’s Reach for a time of unprecedented terror in Orr. He doesn’t even know which is better.

Orr is empty and weirdly cold and wet. It’s like living in a mortuary. He knew he would hate it there the moment he had first stepped on that dead land. But all he’s told to do when he complains is shut up and do is job. It’s not a playground, they tell him. As if he doesn’t already know.

Oh Dwayna, don’t let me die here. That would really suck.

The days are long and exhausting and he really fucking hates it here. There no time to rest and even less to joke around. Still, he tries. At night, he tries to find time when he has to help at camp – on top of his job as a scout, but he starts to think he’s being hazed a little by his superiors.

*****

“I thought about a few jokes today.”

Agni ignores him as usual. Asoka doesn’t mind – it would be strange if she didn’t. Night-time is her woodcarving break. It helps her focus, she says.

“Do tell.” Nux invites him. The Asura is sitting at the other side of the campfire. She was reading a book in silence, until now. Her eyes glisten with the fire light.

“Okay, hear me out. What does a Skritt says to another when they meet each other?”

Agni sighs loudly and raises her eyes in disdain to the inky sky. Both Nux and Asoka ignore her. That woman doesn’t know humour.

“I have no idea.” Nux admits while closing her book.

“Mice to meet you.”

Nux snorts. Agni lets out something that Asoka is interpreting as a chocked laughter she’s trying to contain. That way, he knows it’s hilarious. Usually, when something lacks wit, she just looks at him with pity.

The three of them were at Claw Island. They had been knowing each others for a few months now. Asoka thinks he’ll succeed at making Agni warm up to him before the end of the fight against Zaithan. So he jokes around. And she listens despite herself. In a way, he tries to cheer her up as well as entertaining himself. He knows she’s grieving.

“Good one kiddo.” Nux is kinder to him, but she sometimes act as if they weren’t only four years apart. There is a tiredness in her eyes. Something older than their time in Orr. Older than Claw Island. But she isn’t as easy to read as Agni. He doesn’t know how to assess her.

“What is your book about?” He asks to change the subject. She raises it in front of her with spark of joy in her smile. The title reads On Skritt Culture, by Researcher Nux.

“You… Are reading your own book.” Asoka can hear Agni next to him. He’s keeping himself from laughing. What a bunch of weirdos.

“It is! It’s a brilliant work that I’m very proud of!” Nux responds, and Agni just shrugs, defeated by her lack of commentary on it. “Anyway, you guys are just jealous because you can’t write.”

Asoka scoffs. “How dare you. Do my jokes mean nothing to you? It’s pure genius.”

“Genius … For a five years old Asura.”

“Now you’re just mean.”

Agni has not said anything in a while. Asoka is not even sure she’s still listening to the conversation. Her knife keeps taking chunks or driftwood, but whatever she’s trying to do, it’s not looking like anything he had ever seen.

“Anyway, did I tell you about the weird shit I’ve seen today while scouting the Elysium Beach?” He continues. Agni’s eyes flicker in his direction, but just briefly. She tries to ignore him still. “Okay so here I was, being discreet and all-” Agni barks out a laugh that makes people look at them. “Discreet? Now that’s the funniest joke I’ve heard all day.” Nux can’t help but smile. “Can’t deny that. But go on Asoka, finish your story.”

“Yeah so I was extremely discreet and with my group and at some point we stop, you know. And I look at the beach and you will NEVER know what I’ve seen.”

“What?” Nux parrots.

“A risen building a sand castle.”

“Oh so now we are just telling lies, is that it?” Agni tells him without looking up from her work.

“I swear in front of the Gods and the Spirits and whatever the Asuras believe in!” Asoka is now raising his hands in act of faith. Nux adds quickly: “The Eternal Alchemy.”

“You can swear all you want, I still don’t believe you.” Agni is frowning and her eyes are now on him as if she’s trying to read his mind. He smiles smugly. He knows she hates that. And it works. “Urgh, whatever, stop that. It’s annoying.” And it’s the last thing she says before she gets up and goes away. Probably to sleep an hour or two. She can’t be there forever, there’s an army of the living dead to fight and she’s a good soldier.

“You should sleep too.” He hears Nux say to him. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

They both know it’s not a certitude.

#gw2 #c: agni #c: asoka #c: nux #luly's writing

[itsmaddienotmaddy]

Road to WC 2023 bay-bee. Time is an illusion.

USWNT v Haiti

Casey Murphy - called upon, came up BEAUTIFULLY and also pleased the goal post gods. I’ll take that defensively all day.

Nervy day for typically v collected center backs. Becky with some wonky positioning leading to those dangerous plays. And Alana completely asleep on the play where Murphy had to come save the day. If they can get back to usual, this is the game I’d rather have that happen so… whatever. This certainly does not change my trust in either of them.

Miss Emily Fox, exiting the national team and soccer altogether to become a water bottle model. Okay but for real, aside from the PK, she had a good game. Making good passing connections with her side to create offensive pushes. But her and Kelley both were out of position more than usual because they would move centrally or up and then because the game was so slow, they were almost lollygagging back.

Kelley. My god I thought those studs went to her head. Not that visible cleat marks immediately is a good thing, but shit. Def a red though, that was dumb. Her cross to Alex was lovely and felt really 2019 and that is what we need.

Sofia. So good. Limited minutes, but does what does. There is no level drop, she’s so solid.

Andi. Bri Scurry is saying it as I type this. She just needs to work with the center backs and have them all get on the same page. She had a good physical game and put her body on the line a lot. But wasn’t able to make the connections like she should have.

Lindsey. That fuckin knee. To be fair, I felt like she was less apprehensive than in the last Colombia games. And to make it weirder, she played harder and more aggressive AFTER getting fouled and having that scary moment with the knee. I want more aerial presence from her like usual. She feels like this weird limbo, wanting to help out the 6, and playing more offensively.

Rose didn’t find her stride this game. She had to play defensively a lot which doesn’t let her open up. We kept going wide and weren’t finding spaces in the middle to utilize her. I’m okay keeping her fresh and not overdoing it off the bat.

Sanchez did well coming in with energy and was absolutely getting in the right spaces. Her little flicks and tricks weren’t going to the right spaces but I LOVE the attempts.

Kristie, finally giving us some long balls. Idk why she seems to be the only one who can do that. She was putting players on the ground and not taking any shit. And her cross to Miiiidgeeeee!!!

Sophia…. Whatever she has an injury with, her quad or hip flexor, whatever was wrapped…. BIG NO THANK YOU. It was affecting her play and she was not herself. At all.

Mal had an okay game. She had some really great runs with the ball but her final pass was failing her. But she felt solid and her assists to Alex was great.

Pinoe was fun to see and her offsides assist was fucking amazing. She plays with joy as she nears the end of her career and I’m soaking it all up.

Midge!!! You know WHAT? She was not great when she came in. And she did not mind. She grew into the half and she did awesome. She beat defenders, she started strong offensive plays, and you know, I’m gonna give her two goals because she scored twice in my book. I REALLY LOVE IT.

And ending with Alex, because WOOOOOOOO! All three goals (including the offsides one,) were fucking SICK. It felt familiar and wonderful and I’m all for her going off in this tournament.

I’ll take the W, on to the NEXT. (Okay but also I still feel a slight off vibe with the team and I would love if the gals got together, without coaches, and worked on that together.)

#uswnt #casey murphy #becky sauerbrunn #alana cook #Emily fox #kelley o'hara #sofia huerta #andi sullivan #Lindsey Horan #rose lavelle #Kristie mewis #ashley sanchez #Sophia smith #Mal pugh #alex morgan #megan rapinoe #midge purce

[artemisbarnowl]

When you're not staying up past your bedtime tell us your thoughts about checking up on people via social media!

Thank you for indulging me this long weekend why would you do this

Warning I'm gonna be pathetic because i am still grieving a nine year relationship and grieving, especially in this context, feels so UNDIGNIFIED. Also its my grieving thoughts about the socials thing not like well srticulated thoughts about the socials with some grieving mixed in. I just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out.

1. Like, ultimately don't. Its not helpful at all i think. Unless if literally is just idle curiosity about what happened to someone in your class from ten years ago and you actually dont care what you find.

2. I am experiencing the urge to check up on my ex CONSTANTLY. (They do not really use social media this doesnt amount to much btw). I understand why people be lurking on someones insta or whatever to see what theyve been up to. Sometimes you hope theyre failing and miserable because they did you wrong and you want to feel validated. In my particular case i am worried, and i miss them. There are no posts for me to see or wonder about so this is useless but i think i also want to see that my ex is sad (because i was important to him for such a long time) but also, not like, too sad. And I'm fantasising about him sort of DOing something about it. I want to see what he's up to. Is is dancing? Is he injured? Is he Making? Is he finding small joys in life like hanging out with friends or seeing a cute creature on a walk? Seeing posts about these things would not help me! Because i would likely assume he was not sad, then i would feel angry and bitter and disappointed in myself for wasting my time. We dont share when we are sad (or why) on socials. I am NEVER going to see a post that effectively says "my smart and beautiful and extraordinary girlfriend of 9 years left me, and I am sad i couldn't be what she needed. I miss her a lot and wish i could have showed her this garden i saw today, she would have loved it. I will never forget her and dont know how to be okay with this". No one is going to see that. But ultimately i think we check up on people because what we want to see is some variation of that, so we can feel validated and know that they UNDERSTAND how were feeling.

Because this is tumblr I have made stupid posts a bit like this! I miss him all the time, i made a facebook post about a doco that I watched in the hopes that he would see it and watch it, because i think he'd like all the adorable english woodland creatures. This is also stupid! As are posts showing how well youre doing in hopes ypur ex seems them and feels stupid. Devoting this much energy to a game in your head where you will never get an outcome that satisfies you cannot help you move on or heal. But i do think its weird that we look for any possible thread that tied us to people we are without, even the terrible online ones that can never retie us! We talk to gravestones like the dead can hear us. I am currently checking my mailbox every day for a letter that might not ever arrive, and even if it does it sure and shit wont contain any information that helps me live my new single life where no one thinks I'm special, and there's no one I'm 100% comfortable to be all of myself around and who I dont get tired of being with.

I will never know if he saw the fb post, let alone watched and had opinions on the doco I talked about. Knowing wont help. He knew i have a tumblr but i dont think he'd go through it as its a huge pile of memes and stuff he wouldnt understand to look for 3 things that say im sad. And again, knowing I'm sad won't help.

Normally im very good at being like "well this is unproductive/not the best course of action" and then, you know, STOPPING but unfortunately I will continue to wonder how he is and what hes up to and cling to actually unreasonable, unfounded fantasies of what happens IF he sees.

Anyway this is a long vent that basically says i think i get why people do it now but ultimately it will never bring the carthsis we hope for (:

He knew i had a tumblr but I dont think he's checking up on me coz. Whats the point. Its a lot of stupid memes for 3 im sad posts. Which accomplish nothing as discussed.

#its been...just under 3 months since the break up? #and I am still so so caught up in the fact thst the last weekend we spent together before he flew home was nice #he felt the pressure was off so he could just do what he wanted #which was talk more and answer questions and be more affectionate #which is all i ever wanted in the first place!! #and after all that time together he was still more scared of moving in any direction and it being wrong #than he trusted that i would treat him with kindness and respect and understanding no matter what he did #i dont think it'll ever not hurt that when booking plane tickets (a few months before) he couldnt decide between #spending an extra day with me and a ten dollar cheaper fare #not because he didnt like me but because he was frozen by the possibility of there being a wrong choice #and like there is if the reasoning isnt 'i have to be back for a significant event' and is IS 'i dont actually want to spend time with you' #then hiding that through indecision does no one any favours #unfortunately my biggest regret now is that i was uglu crying at the airport when we kissed goodbye for the last time #its very vain but i worry he will remember me like that #i could barely stand i was so upset!!! and i am concerned about my looks and keeping a man :'( #highly pathetic you were warned #anyway i miss him and i am afraid he is alone and sad and i cannot help

[sucrows]

Hi!! I just read your nazuna post and I love it <3 curious though, do you have any other transmasc hcs for other characters? Or was that just a one time thing for the drabble

I love considering any and every character as trans when the whim hits me tbh, butttt I do of course have favorites so I'm going to make a list of who and why for both horny and non horny reasons: (under cut because i got too invested lmao)

Nazuna: Ok we already know i just have the hots for him BUT theres also other reasons. One of the big factors in Nazuna's misery in Ex Valk was because of his voice changing and no longer being able to sing his old parts. Can you imagine the angst potential in that being because he started T? ESPECIALLY if he were stealth? Like, I highly doubt he would've been able to get away with it but, if he were, then his voice changing would've been something occurring due to something he actively chose to go through. Would he feel like him choosing his joy in transitioning is the same as choosing Shu and Mika's misery? There's just so much to consider there

Mayoi: I also have the hots for them and every character I have them for is schrodinger's gender where they're whatever I want at the moment. Otherwise, he's a weirdo! A freak! I love that for him! I enjoy his funkiness and think he should embrace it with his gender. A lot of trans people are already outcasts so fuck it! he's already an outcast why not embrace it. Not to mention it would add another layer of depth to his insecurities. Transmasc, trans man, transfem, trans woman, nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, all of it!! any of it!!!

Kuro: Ok, weird one, hear me out though. It stemmed after I read this on ao3 (AFAIK the author does not have a tumblr). He feels pressure to be good for his unit, his friends, his family, etc etc- but one of the things he isn't good at is basically anything "feminine". He's a very stereotypically manly person in appearance and its often what he's recognized for. What if though, he just... starts longing to be what he's not? Maybe he spends time in groups and circles with more women because of his more stereotypical feminine interests and he finds himself feeling a bit too at home there. Maybe he gets a few opportunities to wear a cute, pretty, or beautiful getup and he's like... oh... i like this. Just!!! Agh!!! I like the idea of transfemme Kuro a lot.

Hiyori: Ignored youngest daughter raised to ignore her own feelings discovers he's happier as a man and goes on to do his own thing but still feeling an obligation to the family that raised him even though he was pushed aside in favor of his older brother? Once again, angst potential. Oh also, he's already really fucky with his appearance in not being scared to wear prettier, more feminine shit in a way that implies he know what he's doing and i love that. Could just be him being cool as fuck, or that tboy swag. Either way, I like it.

Ibara: oh i just think it's be neat, otherwise though, we've all seen the unbloomed bogie time card. Similar vein as Kuro, he was raised in a an environment filled with nothing but men, men, and more men. He probably didn't even consider it an option for a really long time that he could be anything but a man. The way I see it happening is through a convo with someone who is already out and trans and hearing about their experiences. He thinks the experience they describe sounds to similar to his background thoughts on his gender and then it suddenly hits him that "oh no... am I?". He would probably stay in the closet a longgg time and then one day just come out all at once.

Oof I don't have to much energy for the rest of these but some others im fond of: Natsume, Shu, Niki, & Ritsu.

#asks #crow

[falsegoodnight]

like, I get it, but at the same time, blocking his biggest update acc is a weird move and is also lowkey shooting himself in the foot??? I think some ppl r blowing it way out of proportion, but I do think a lot of the questioning is valid.

it also just gives rads more ammunition to hate on larries as if we don’t have enough of that but 🤷🏻‍♀️ /gen /nm

I genuinely wanna know ur thoughts on it, though, (and uas you recommend??) bc I rly do think a lot of people on twitter are losing the plot

answer below mainly because it ended up long for some reason?

yeah hld does have a lot of followers and especially since louis gets jack shit when it comes to promo, stuff like this is disappointing but it seems clear to me by the severity of the action that louis thinks the harm they're causing outweighs any of the good – like, don't get me wrong ,the streaming parties they've organized in the past as well as fundraisers for charities and stuff have all been incredible but the whole 'superfollower' thing and how they've clearly taken too much joy in the rumors of them actually having connections to louis/harry just show that they've kind of let the attention... get to their heads??? if anything hopefully this blocking will help them gain some perspective – i don't think anyone behind this ua is a bad person or anything and i think some people definitely ARE taking things way too far.

also louis isn't stupid. he's not the type of person to recklessly block a fan account, knowing that it would instantly be noticed and speculated upon by everyone especially since hld's platform is so big.

at the end of the day, i trust louis and his reasons for doing what he did. the thing is, we don't even know fully why he didn't and we probably never will... i saw that ss from someone saying another ua was sending lies to louis and... ngl we literally have zero reason to believe them. for all we know they sent that dm to themselves lol.

as for the 'rads' thing... let's be real, people are always going to find ways to hate on larries and that's unfortunately not going to change, but we don't have to let it bother us. i honestly don't care if people use this as a way to say louis hates larries or whatever because i don't believe that, and neither do any of us frankly, and that's all that matters. if someone tries to say something to you, just block them and try your best to ignore it. while words can definitely hurt, they're still just words. putting that into perspective always helps when people are being nasty (also people being nasty will always say more about them then you).

ALL THAT BEING SAID, this account has been controversial for a WHILE because of how they've handled things and while some solo fans or antis or other non-larries probably have hated on hld because it's a "larry" ua, that's not all they've had a problem with and in that respect, i also don't really care that they may be celebrating this today. that's also partly because i don't really care about what people outside of my own circle/community are saying/doing in ANY context and let me tell you that's a much more pleasant way to experience this fandom lol.

ua recs... ngl i don't follow ANY uas on twitter and never have so i can't really help you 😣 i've never really been someone that needs the fastest updates or news, like immediately when it happens, and have been just fine getting information from my tl/mutuals whenever i log on so i never felt the need to follow any, sorry </3 i'm sure someone else out there will be much more helpful in answering this question though!! and i hope you find them!

final notes (sorry this ended up so long idk how that happened): i think there's definitely some nuance to this topic but at the end of the day, i trust in louis' judgment and that he made the right decision today. i also think people need to move on from this topic because YES some people have absolutely lost the plot on twitter like 😬 pls calm down!!!

#asks

[crappymixtape]

sorry u don't have to post this

But its so fucking stupid people keep bringing up the same shit- ESPECIALLY people trying to tie it to what is going on on Gaza WHEN LITERALLY WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN EM AND AUTUMN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT

Like im sure both people had distress and were upset about what happened but let's NOT try to act like it is on the same level as a literal genocide

Also yall dont owe us anything. You can share on her or not (while obv i would want u to share denouncing the "war" i am not going to jump down your throat because my friend runs solely a fanfic blog and shares that...little weird and desensitized to see smut after smut then war then smut again. Some people use this to escape reality and yes that is privileged of us but also we have 0 clue what is going on in your personal life etc)

Like...people complain the fandom is dying and are pointing fingers when three are pointing back at themselves like ????????

Anyways love u if u have a way to tell Emmy we care pls do.

abso-fucking-lutely, nonny ( WARNING: i get political and shit up in this, so avoid if you don't have the space )

there is so much happening in the world right now and at the end of the day it's so disheartening and discouraging ( especially for me as a mom ) – idk about you but i NEED this place. i NEED this outlet. somewhere i can try and find joy to refill my cup so i can keep fighting against all this bullshit. so i can recharge and get back out to push for equality and the right to live and against genoc!de and racism and capitalist dicks and the future of this planet and god dammit even just writing that is SO heavy.

so why do we come here and hate on each other for trivial things? why do we come here and pile more shit onto plates that are already full? why are we putting so much energy and effort into pulling each other down when we could be lifting each other up? when even just that small act of support ( or just shutting tf up! ) can make things better or at least not make them worse?

i recognize my privilege and understand opportunities that i have are not accessible to everyone and i work really hard to democratize those opportunities. i work hard to undo my bias, to unlearn, to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and i'd be down to have those conversations with people! but not on anon. and not in an aggressive shitty matter. come to me human-to-human and TALK TO ME. it's how we make progress, it's how we learn from each other. it's how we widen our POV and change our opinions and grow, but doing it with malice and anger is NOT it.

i just truly don't understand. we all have ONE life. why would we spend it filling it with hate and vitriol? it's just not worth it. and i don't have the patience or the time to deal with bullshit. there are bigger things i aspire to, bigger causes that need my energy and commitment and if you're not down or you're on a vendetta to ruin someone's life ( or tumblr rep i guess?? ) then i think you should just go.

this place allows people to keep pursuing something outside of what they're swimming ( or honestly sometimes drowning ) in. it gives us, gives me, the boost to keep fighting the good fight so don't drag us into it.

the ST fandom might feel like it's dying, but there are still some incredible writers on here who share the love and true sentiment of the characters we love so much. as long as i'm here i'll always bring life to steve and eddie. don't let shitty people take it from you. tumblr or not those characters and the way they make you feel will always be yours.

and of course i'll tell emmy, babe ♥️♥️

#asks #my asks #nonny <333

[chocolate-failure]

God I fucking hate myself... As much for the things that I do as the things I don't. Today my best mfkn friend, like kismet close, celebrated their birthday. And it's wild cuz I say we're really close when we don't know massive swathes of information about each other. I feel like it's mostly me but they play shit close to the vest too.

But I went to the party and I looked really nice but I fucking hated it and myself but mostly myself. I didn't want to eat or drink too much which makes dancing with a bunch of drunk/high people not so fun. But like also idk... I always have these weird moments where I feel like this just ain it. Like being a human is so fucking bogus and I'm so bad at it anyways, why even bother. Like was this experience supposed to impart something upon me? Was I supposed to derive some kind of joy or peace from this endeavor? And The Baby was there. On top of being ignorant af she's also loud which wouldn't be a problem if she had compelling or fun things to say. She low key sucks all the fun out of a conversation with a single line. Like it's kind of the hugest most exhausting buzzkill.

God I hate being me bro and like of course, within the first hour of the party I'm hunched over the toilet retching. That's something I hate. When you go to events and can't concentrate on grounding yourself and tracking the input it's really mfkn hard to find yourself in the bathroom trying to discard said input. It's hard to explain but not really but I'm tired... I can tell how much I've eaten and how much should come up when I'm home because I'm fully calibrated to this environment, as much as I hate it, and I'm able to gauge to a pretty reliable degree how much I should be throwing up and I tend to have a fair amount of control over how fast and how much comes up.

Like especially after eating something like ice cream and popcorn, idk I just remember that combination a lot from my childhood. Hell even orange juice is an okay liquid if you drink enough but ice cream is high up there. The mucous your body produces breaking down high fat dairy products is fucking exquisite 👌 Like it makes this perfect almost frothy capsule around whatever you've eaten making even the hardest things to get up easy af if you're able to get some ice cream inside of you in time. Sunflower seeds have a similar affect because you're producing and swallowing a lot of saliva as compared to food. The seeds get suspended in the saliva and come up real easy like, you don't even need to drink anything. And it's honestly a good idea to try to drink as little as you possibly can because I'm at the phase where something I drank like 3 minutes ago will already be emptied out of my stomach. It's definitely happened a few times and is a fat worst than death. Like imagine you ate something you very much wanna uneat, so you drink some water or juice to grease the skids only when you go to purge literally nothing comes up 😤 whata goddamn nightmare.

It's been a couple days since I started writing this but I had an instance in mind I wanted to mention not so much for posterity but also a reminder to future me the lengths we, hopefully once, went through to keep this fucking shit show going. Ain nothing quite like pulling back the veil to reveal the crusty old man yanking his diseased prick to show you how far you've fallen. Ed is fucking disgusting. The human body is disgusting enough as it is without this disease ravaging it. And maybe it's not that so much as it ravages your mind and makes you grow accustomed to som derranged shit.

The first thought that comes to mind is when you don't put down enough toilet paper or miss your mark and toilet water splashes back up into your face. You don't even wipe it off, might as well wait til we're done right? The business at hand is far more important than getting rancid shit water off your face. And have you considered that perhaps you deserve it?

The other day, and by other day I mean 2 weeks ago I went to dinner with the fam for my brother's birthday. We had sushi. I ate too much. Though any amount is technically too much... So when we get home I rev up the ol tonsil tickler, the choke goat, the duke of puke. Who knew I could swallow knives. And when I'm done I go to flush the toilet and nothing fucking happens... Imagine my abject horror. Here I stood at the scene of the crime, a toilet bowl filled with sushi colored puke and not an ounce of water to dispose of the evidence. I was fucked. I thought well maybe I could convince my brother to help me without looking in the toilet. I certainly couldn't ask my mom or dad. They'd both lose their shit but my brother holds enough reverence for me to enable some of my more unusual eccentricities. No, best not to involve anyone else. But also why tf is the toilet *this* broken??? Like there was no water in the tank. I should've just done it in my room, out of the way of prying eyes. It's also sus af for me to pass 3 other bathrooms to use one of the two that's only used by us and not guests. I could just say I like it more than the others and of course I do but not for the sake of nostalgia. I honestly think my mom would be none the wiser, if she had even an inkling I was back on my bullshit she'd be on me like well me on said bullshit... I should've just used the other one. I would've been fine, but I guess that can't be helped I kick myself as I grab a fist full of my own vomit and drop it in the trashcan. I didn't even think about. Like 0 preparation... This is what had to be done. But then I noticed the bucket sitting next to the trashcan ✨eureka✨ this could work or make the situation a hundred times more difficult to hide. I hedge my bets and fill the bucket with hot water and pour it into the toilet. And just like that my problem was solved. No mess no witnesses and best of all no waves. I didn't need to ask for help and have it documented in my mom's mind that the toilet posed a problem for me. She remembers that type of shit and will check up on shit you may have done wrong.

So I take the vomit soaked tissues in the bathroom trash and put it in a grocery bag and very purposelessly throw it away in the big trash. You can get my mom with sleight of hand if you make what you're doing seem trivial enough without being attention to it.

I feel ridiculous for having to do these things but the discomfort of being overweight outweighs it tenfold. I much rather be skinny than normal. I rather pick shit pellets from my bleeding rectum like some kind of disgusting shit prospector. I rather the constant hemorrhoids, the years of irreversible dental damage, the insane thirst I'm plagued by at any given moment in the day. The inside of my mouth is itchy and tingly and I can't recall a time when it wasn't. I hate every goddamn second of this but this seems to be a reasonable price for self actualization. At least at the moment. I've no intention of stopping and I'm not sure I could if I wanted.

#ed #ednos #journal #im not even gonna talk about my progress #it's too depressing #ive back slid after that party #god i hate my fucking self

[ablazeinhim]

I went out with my childhood bestie's friend group the other night and it really made me realize that I'm very picky about my friends. 😂

***

As I've been reflecting on it the past couple days I've put a few things together about like who somebody was and stories my friend has told me. And girl, some some of these situations and some of these people's actions and attitudes, like... I find it a little hard to believe that these are my friend's type of people.

***

And maybe they were all just having really bad days/times in life when those things happened and they acted that way, but some of them I'm like yeah I would be pulling away hard. I would always rather have fewer friends and know they're supportive and dependable and honest and loving, than many friends who aren't a perfect fit. And often that means I do shit alone, because my friends are busy people, or they live far. And I'm ok with that.

I don't wanna mask in front of my friends, or watch what I say, or be scared to talk about what I believe. I need open communication and mutual respect.

***I rambled about the night and decided it was distracting from what I actually wanted to say so I cut that part out of the middle and put it here in case you want to read the post in it's og form:

I can fall in love in an instant and vibe with people so hard, so it's not that. Like the other week I was in Ohio for a friend's wedding and I got to meet his twin brother and childhood friends and fucking loved them all. The vibes were excellent, the energy exquisite. Me and one of them laughed constantly when next to each other. No awkwardness at all. We took stupid group pictures in the yard. I left longing to be their friend.

That was not the vibe of the other evening. I didn't have a bad time, but I didn't gel with any of them. My friend and I carpooled, so on the way home she did tell me that it was kind of a weird night.

But I don't think it would have made a difference.

It was clear a couple of them were "partiers." I love a party, and I *am* a good time. But I don't drink and it was clear that was typically a big aspect/the main activity. My idea of a fun night out is a light dinner(so I don't have to worry about leftovers. Definitely snacking later at home) followed by something entertaining (my top choices would probably be a drag show or an arcade) and then dancing. I NEED dancing. Please God get me in the room with the queers and the neurodivergent DJ. I could skip all the other things as long as I can vibe on the dance floor with my loved ones.

We went out to dinner and to the gay bar. Both things I like!

And there was no dancing! One of them was adamant, "I don't dance." WHY. Why would you deny yourself the joy of movement. The embodiment of sound. Why would you declare it like it's something you can't wait to spit out of your mouth.

Why was there so much talk of past times getting fucked up (and presumably that was a positive experience for them). [This also probably wasnt discussed a TON, but it was multiple times and since I'm not into that personally it really stood out to me--like if you wanna tell me about the party that's great, but like can you tell me a funny story from it or something, instead of just how much your bar tab was?]

One of the people was abrasive and aggressive (in energy) in a way that did not make me feel safe or at ease.

Maybe it's because they're an established group and it was my first time with them. Maybe it's because I'm neurodivergent and introverted. Whatever it was, it just wasn't my scene. And that's ok. None of them were mean.

Someone we ran into that night is not really someone that my friend likes, but despite that, my friend still buys this person's art and still is considering doing a group activity with them before this person moves like an hour away. And internally I was like...why? Why would you spend time with people who send you mixed signals and act in an emotionally abusive manner???

#wow this post really got away from me there oops #after the readmore is very long and rambly you have been warned #i really need to write about ny friends weddinf #maybe ill try some prose/hybrid #such a good time 😭 #= #experiences