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#it just came up when we were put in breakout sessions
deanssexplorations · 2 years
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No Kissing, No Blow Jobs: The Cold Sore Encounter
I’ve always worked to foster friendships in cities to which I travel for business, and now that my post-lockdown travel is picking up again, I’m enjoying reconnecting with friends in distant places. 
One of the cities I travel to the most is Chicago, and long-time readers will certainly recall Calliope, my Greek Muse, who has been an inspiration for many fun adventures, including a three-couple dinner-and-sex party in February 2020 (that likely turned out to be a superspreader event - oops!).
What I haven’t blogged about yet is our friend Alana, who also lives in Chicago. Calliope introduced me to Alana, after I saw a picture of her on one of Calliope’s Facebook posts and said she looked cute. She did, and she is - with a shock of red hair (in both places); creamy white skin that’s prone to breakouts of freckles; a huge, radiant smile; and a very sexy body. 
Alana and I connected during Covid and spent many months enjoying the occasional texting, flirting, and sexting sprees. When things began opening up last summer I made a trip to Chicago to see Lollapalooza. And to see my friends Calliope and Alana. It was a great trip, and Alana and I had a fantastic evening starting with drinks and a bite at an elegant rooftop bar, followed by a wild, hormone-fueled encounter with crazy sexual energy back in my hotel room. It had been a long Covid drought for both of us and the animal instinct to fuck like rabbits was palpable for both of us.
Unfortunately on the several Chicago trips I’ve had since then, one circumstance or another has conspired to cock block our efforts to get together. Maybe the most heartbreaking of those was the time we had a firm date, were all confirmed and ready, and the afternoon we were to get together I came down with a 24-hour stomach bug. That evening and that evening only I felt absolutely terrible and I had to cancel. She was gracious of course, but I think we were both more than a little disappointed to miss our opportunity.
Finally, a few weeks ago, I was planning another Chicago trip and we picked an evening that we were both free. I was going to meet her after her last appointment of the day - she’s a therapist who spent the pandemic helping people maintain their sanity throughout the craziness - and we were going to enjoy a lovely evening of sexy time together.
But wouldn’t you know it, in what only makes me shake my head as par for the course for us, she texted me the morning we were to get together with news that her body was playing a cruel trick and she had developed a cold sore. It had just popped up overnight. 
I was grateful for her conscientiousness to let me know, and to put my health as her first priority. She was clearly disappointed and offered to cancel, but I told her that (being the glass half-full type that I am), instead of looking at it as a downer, I thought of it as a fun opportunity to be more clever and creative in our play that evening. She made it clear that kissing and sucking my cock were off the table - two of the things we were both looking very much forward to - but she also has tits, hands, and other orifices, and I thought that having to deal with Alana not being able to use her mouth might actually be fun to work around.
This whole situation reminded me a bit of my first date with my friend Eve who, I later learned, had a yeast infection that day that kept her from allowing me to get any pussy that night, but which turned into my hottest non-sex date ever. (And who was part of the three-couple dinner and sex superspreader in 2020).
So I was ready for the challenge.
Now, one thing I was conscious of, and that Alana and I discussed, is that not only is kissing sexy and fun and a great way to connect with someone you’re attracted to, but it also serves as a sort of general-purpose sexual lubricant. It’s what you usually do to transition from chatting over a drink to groping and fucking. It’s a way to connect during the play session itself. And it’s a way to continue the connection when everyone has achieved their orgasm(s) and you’re winding down the encounter.
It was going to be a bit jarring not being able to kiss!
When I arrived at Alana’s place, the evening started off ordinarily enough. She took my coat, offered me a drink, and we sat on the couch discussing music, politics, kids, and life. (We had timed it to be one of her kid-free evenings.) We even talked about her cold sore and the creative adventure we had in store!
We probably spent a bit longer chatting than we might have otherwise, for the very reason that kissing was off the table. But eventually I put my beer on the table and sidled up a bit closer, next to her on the couch.
Earlier in the day I had requested that she answer the door naked. She counterproposed that she would answer it “not wearing very much.” Which I gladly accepted. She settled on a cute little bathrobe, with bra and panties underneath. Sitting next to her I put my arm around her shoulders, reached down, and untied her robe, parting it to expose her stomach, legs, bra, and panties. I ran my fingers up and down her body and nuzzled her neck and shoulder, kissing them softly. 
I continued in this vein for a while, eventually reorienting her so she was laying on her back on the couch, while I continued to gently kiss and nuzzle her face, neck, and shoulders. I took her head in my hands, running my fingers through her hair and my fingernails along her scalp. I even brought my lips to a fraction of an inch from hers, as if I was about to give her a deep, passionate kiss, only to hold off at the very last moment. 
It was definitely a tease - for me as well as for her. But it was also hot as fuck and it definitely got my motor running. And I’d bet my lunch money hers as well.
From there I continued my gentle kissing and nuzzling, but began moving down her body, removing her bra, and spending time on her beautiful breasts and nipples. To go with her red-headed complexion, she has extremely light pink areolas. Which I find so sexy. And which, fortunately, did not have cold sores.
Continuing down her body, I spent time on her stomach, hips, and pubic mound. I removed her panties and moved my attention to her inner thighs, and, eventually, to her beautiful pink pussy. She moaned, fully into it now, arching her back, and allowing the waves of pleasure to course through her body. I inserted my fingers into her pussy and, enjoyed her lovely wetness.
From there we went into her bedroom and I got undressed. Another brief moment of awkwardness as we could neither kiss, nor move to the next (logical?) portion of our play date - a blow job. So I pulled out a condom and we went straight to fucking.
I’ve been in enough groups to know first-hand that many men, at least those in the lifestyle, don’t kiss their partners while fucking them. Pretty much at all. I’m the opposite. While I won’t spend 20 minutes straight with lips locked, it is one of the things I do quite a bit while fucking, especially if we are in the missionary position. It was weird not to be able to. So I took a page from earlier in the evening and - while my cock was easing in and out of her pussy - held her head in my hands, kissed her face and neck, and moved my lips tantalizingly close to hers, my hot breath on her cheek. 
That was fun, but I also like to mix up my positions so after a while I pulled her over to the edge of the bed and (yes, long-time reader, I do have preferences, lol) fucked her while standing on the floor. Partly I just like this position. It gives me a lot of control over angles and pace. Partly it parked our lips a good five feet away from each other so not being able to kiss became less of an issue.
Now Alana is very orgasmic, or at least she has been the couple of times we’ve been together. And even though she does have one or two other men in the mix at the moment, she has two young children and her schedule doesn’t allow her to get a TON of sex. Maybe for that reason, maybe just because she’s just that orgasmic, or maybe because of my fabulous skills (ha!) she was having orgasm after orgasm all night. She told me later that she had no idea how many times she came that evening, and it seemed to me at least like the orgasms were just coming one after the other. Certainly I could feel her pussy convulsing around my cock with a fair degree of regularity.
Eventually I felt the tell-tale tickling on the underside of my cock giving me notice that - if I was ready for it - an orgasm was on its way. We had been at it for quite a while by then - I’d guess an hour or more - and I so decided to go with the flow. The sensation continued to build, little by little, until I felt a giant wave overtake me. I let forth my usual series of loud, guttural vocalizations, and collapsed next to her, pulling her into my arms for a post-coital cuddle.
Enter the next/final awkward portion of the evening: not being able to kiss after sex. By now she knew what to expect as I ran my fingers through her hair and ran my hands lightly up and down her body. It was a tender, intimate moment, which was, if anything, even more charged by what was left off the table - that is, the ability to kiss.
We chatted for a few minutes, enjoying the afterglow, and appreciating the fact that I didn’t make her squirt. Which was something we could have easily done, and in fact we had briefly started down that path. But this was her bed that she would have to sleep in that night and in the end she was grateful not to have a giant wet spot to contend with. 
Maybe next time.
Finally I got dressed, gave her a goodnight hug (again - no kissing!!) and bid her adieu. We both agreed, me a bit more enthusiastically, and her a bit more reluctantly, that while of course we would have both preferred being able to kiss and give a blow job, it was actually fun, in a way, to have to be creative and figure out other ways to enjoy ourselves. Which we certainly did.
The good news is I have another trip to Chicago coming up this week and Alana and I will have a chance to do a do-over. I imagine we’ll spend our first 45 minutes doing nothing but making out. Kidding/not kidding.
But we did have a fun evening in which we overcame the dreaded cold sore, and lived to tell the tale. I often like to say you either have a good day or you have a good story. I think in this instance we had both; we certainly had a sexy and fun sexual encounter. And I like to think we got a good story out of it as well.
If nothing else, a blog-worthy story.
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airadam · 11 months
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Episode 167 : More Tune
"We on they mood board, though they livin' in denial."
- Solace
This month's selection came together slowly and then all at once! It's turned out to be a great combination of deep album cuts, some lesser-known bonus tracks and remixes, as well as some brand new nuggets you can and should add to your collection! Of course I had to give you some Guru, and we start the episode with a cover version of a record that samples another musical giant, the recently and sadly departed Ahmad Jamal.
Don't forget that you can get the up-to-date list of my upcoming streams and events at events.airadam.com!
Twitter : @airadam13
Twitch : @airadam13
Playlist/Notes
Elzhi & Will Sessions : The World Is Yours
RIP to the great Ahmad Jamal, the legendary pianist who was famously sampled on the original "The World Is Yours" on the classic Nas "Illmatic" LP. As we've already played that on the podcast, we instead turn to the excellent re-imagining of that album by the all-Detroit combination of the band Will Sessions and the gifted MC Elzhi. It's always interesting when a musician is sampled by a Hip-Hop producer, and then that production later remade by other live musicians - bringing things full circle.
The Quarter Inch Kings : I'm No Comeback
As part of the Beat Tape Project, Toronto's Quarter Inch Kings channel some soulful flavour on this instrumental from "The AZ Beat Tape" - one that I could very well hear the Brooklyn Legend on.
Masta Ace & Marco Polo : Masta Polo
I was almost going to describe Marco Polo as one of the new generation of producers, but then I realised - it's been eighteen years! Still fresh, yet a veteran, he combines with a legend from the Juice Crew, Brooklyn's Masta Ace, for some classy 21st century boom-bap. You need to find the Deluxe edition of the Polo-produced "A Breukelen Story" album to get this one, and it's well worth the effort.
Terri Walker ft. Ty : OK
One of the finest soul singers these isles have ever produced, though an underappreciated one, Terri Walker has always shown love to the home team, with this track being a great example. The Nottingham stalwart Joe Buhdha is behind the boards, and the late London don TY warms up the mic before Ms Walker strides over the instrumentation. You might know her first few LPs, but definitely check for the later stuff, such as the EP this track was release on, "Joe Buhdha Presents Breakout". RIP Ty, live long Terri Walker.
Gang Starr : 2 Deep (City Lick Mix)
This is one of my earliest Hip-Hop 12" purchases, and a version of the Gang Starr classic deep single that I had to grow into! The UK's Dodge City Productions were, in retrospect, a perfect choice to take on remix duties here, a group well-steeped in the jazz that Gang Starr had helped pioneer as part of Hip-Hop. The late great Guru is in fine form, on his grown man business over all three verses - starting closer to battle mode and then weaving in his message. Apparently a Europe-only release, this is a worthy version to stand next to the original from the "Daily Operation" LP.
Curren$y : Fortune 500
This is clearly an anthem for LLC Twitter, with one long verse about getting that cash, and the outro showing Curren$y quizzing the next generation. The brand new "For Motivational Use Only" LP is another in the set of releases where Curren$y links up with a single producer to build a cohesive whole - in this case, the veteran Jermaine Dupri. I'd be lying if I said it was a collaboration that I was thinking about, but it works!
Medline : Payé Entièrement
Sound familiar? If you didn't guess from the title, this is a wicked instrumental cover of the classic "Paid In Full" by Eric B & Rakim that just cannot be denied. You can head straight over to Bandcamp to get the digital version as a bonus cut on the "Je Sais Que Tu As De L'​Â​me" release (put that into Google Translate if you don't speak French) - really, an essential pickup in my opinion.
Knaladeus : Lose Or Win
Not in terms of complexity as such, but in terms of tone, does Knaladeus here remind you of Black Thought at all? Either way, self-produced dopeness with quality songwriting from this artist out of Florida, one of the early tracks on his 2018 "Letters To You" album. His heartfelt lyrics on top of that beat are already a great blend, but the cherry is provided by DJ Stranger's cuts, drawing from the lyrics of Guru - once I heard those, this track was a lock for this episode.
Onra : 1-4 TONI
If you like a track with instructions (think "Jump Around", or hell, even "The Time Warp"), then this is up your street. That said, if you weren't already nodding your head to this one, you might want to clear your ears out first! Nice beat by the man from Paris, a 2018 track that went unreleased until Valentine's Day this year.
Superbad Solace : Throwing Fits
One for the Lo heads, from one of the foremost representatives currently recording! Solace has done it again with his "Sol Controller 3" project, and this track dedicated to the art of getting fresh is a personal favourite. The references to the Ralph Lauren brand and lifestyle are numerous, but as Solace points out, "you can buy gear, but you can't buy style"! The beat by Mono en Stereo makes you feel like you need to be posing on a yacht for a catalogue somewhere :)
Panama Gat : So Lonely
This man has a spectacular MC name, though it feels a little wrong to point it out when the subject of his song on this episode is so serious. It's raw at times, but that's often how it goes when you're expressing real emotion. On the production front, the soul-sampling beat reminds you of the work of Kanye West and Just Blaze around the same era, but it's not a bite in any way. I'm not sure who put it together, but my guess is 9th Wonder, as this is part of the Justus League "Just Us, Vol. 6" mixtape.
Leavv : Within
A little of that Chillhop flavour for you, with Leavv coming from Germany but this track coming from some kind of dreamland where even the passing clouds come with a bumping drum accompaniment. Find this on the "Chillhop Essentials - Fall 2017" collection, which even now is available as a "name your price" release on Bandcamp!
Ilajide : Boom Shakalak
I'd almost forgotten this track from "#0414917"! The programming of this beat by one of Detroit's finest is on a half-time vibe which makes it feel much slower than the 100bpm than it measures at, and he works that by keeping his flow on the mic downtempo too.
Tha Chill ft. Kokane : RNO
Part of the respected Compton's Most Wanted, Tha Chill missed out on featuring on two of the group's LPs due to legal troubles, but bounced back from them and not only reunited with the crew but has a solid set of solo releases to his name. This track is from the 2020 "Fohead" LP, and I think may be self-produced - the instrumental embodies his name, with it being a little dark and cold, and moderately uptempo without being hectic. On the mic he's joined by another "if you know, you know" west coast legend, Pomona's Kokane, an artist well worth exploring in his own right.
Sepalot ft. Blu : Surrender
Rough, angular, lurching electronic rawness! Heading back over to Germany (Munich, to be precise), we pick up this B-side from the 2008 "She Likes Me" 12", loaded with synths and disembodied yells. It's a challenging background for an MC, but Blu, who you might know for considerably more gentle material, handles it with no problem at all.
Erick Sermon ft. MC Lyte and Rah Digga : Tell Me (If You Don't Feel Me)
Erick Sermon is a respected MC in his own right, but part of his production greatness is in knowing when to draft in even more firepower, as he does here on the 2002 "React" album! Two different generations (in terms of career period, if not age) combine to burn up the guest features here, with Brooklynite MC Lyte and Newark's Rah Digga bringing it home over Erick's beat, which very much has the flavour of the era.
Dâm-Funk : The Flow
The "STFU II" EP is - relatively speaking - a chilled collection for the Pasadena modern funk legend. This track has clean, gliding keyboard pads, but also the right weight of drums and synth bass, plus the tempo, to allow you to dance to it if that's how you feel. Dâm-Funk has been building up a very respectable discography since his 2008 debut single - take some time to explore it if you haven't already.
DJ Quik ft. Ludacris : Spur Of The Moment / Pacific Coast Remix
This might not be the most progressive track in the world, but it sounds absolutely fantastic, still. A standout on 2005's "Trauma" album, in shows how skilled DJ Quik is not just as a producer (and MC), but also as a mixer/engineer. The sunshiney vibes pour out of this one, and Ludacris, who my Twitch crowd all seem to agree is an underrated MC, hits the mark perfectly as a guest. This track seems to have a different title depending on whether you have the CD or vinyl of the album, but the only difference between them is how you rewind it to play it again once it fades out!
Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!
Check out this episode!
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The fact that you turned off your camera to put out the fire just makes this story that much more surreal from one of your classmates's perspective. If something like this happened and I witnessed it, you bet I would stay in awe of the person with the fire for at least the rest of the year. 10/10 leadership and assertion of dominance, bravo!
my lecturer was like: “... then you better take care of that???” O.O when I said it like it took him a moment to process the transition from “and here are my ideas to raise language awareness in the ESL classroom” to "I have to put out my fire”
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space-helen · 3 years
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Back to Vegas - Chapter 6
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Words: 2330
Pairing: Nick Stokes x Reader
A/N: Warning for Suicide and Violence. Low key inspired by the ending of Prisoners (2012)
CH1     CH2      CH3     CH4    CH5   CH6   CH7  CH8
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Your lungs heaved as you made it into the breakout room. Standing by the door you gave Greg a smile as Nick came in behind you. The two of you had run slightly late and it was a miracle that you’d come in in time.
“Now that everyone’s here.” Greg clapped his hands together “We should get a move on. We have a Warrant for Hannah’s property and Sara and I went in there yesterday. We found some stuff that definitely connects her to the case. Grissom and Catherine started to make stronger connections with what we found and Nick and Y/N really helped look at the evidence all again objectively.” he paused “We’re pretty confident Hannah did this, we have a lead which says she’s been hiring a warehouse just outside of Vegas so we’ll be going there. Nick, Catherine and Sara you come with me to the warehouse. Grissom and Y/N hold down the fort here and start processing some more of the stuff we pulled from Hannah’s house.”
“This isn’t very like Hannah. We all should be extra careful.” Sara spoke up “She’s usually very clever in what she does but it looks like she’s gotten lazy. There has to be a reason for that.”
Greg agreed “Keep your eyes peeled. Alright, those coming with me lets go.” He was soon leaving the room and everyone on his team for the outing soon followed. Nick wrapped his arm around you for a very brief embrace as he left the room and pecked you on the forehead.
“I’d offer you a coffee but if the others are starting right now we should too.”
You smiled at Grissom “That’s fine by me. Lead the way.”
The man smirked and led you to the room he and Catherine had been working in.
The two of you began to work and it didn’t take long for Grissom to get a call. Excusing himself from the room you continued to fingerprint the case of vials found at Hannah’s place as you waited for his return.
“How do you fancy getting away from the lab for a little bit?”
“Sure.” you smiled as you stood up.
“Greg and Sara want you to do another quick sweep of the property to look for anything else, they also want you to pick up Sara’s kit because she left it there. One of them will come over to help you after the warehouse. I’ll stay here and continue processing this” he gestured at the items in front of him
You nodded and took down the address from Grissom. “I’ve printed the vials. They just need to be run through the system now.” 
“Have fun.”
“I will.” you smiled as you made your way out to one of the work vehicles.
The drive wasn’t bad and actually went by quickly. You’d never been to this part of Vegas yet and it didn’t look half bad. The neighbourhood looked friendly yet sparse. Hopping out of your vehicle nothing seemed out of the ordinary, it was quiet and no one was around. The door was locked and had tape over to show that no one had entered. 
You brought out your knife and cut down the tape to let yourself in. Spotting Sara’s kit you picked it up and left the door open as you returned it to the trunk of your vehicle.
Entering the house again you slowly took steps inside and felt the eeriness around you. It was deadly silent yet you felt like you could hear static and like you weren’t alone. “Hello?” you called out into the space.
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket so you slipped it out to read the text, you smiled when you saw it was from Nick. ‘She wasn’t at the warehouse. Greg, Sara and Cath are going to process here and I’ll be over with you soon x’
‘How can Sara process without a kit?’ you replied quickly.
‘Sharing is caring… we had a backup one in the trunk.’
You laughed ‘See you soon. Love you x’
You put your phone away and continued to walk around the house. Placing your kit down in the living room doorway you walked through to the next room which was an open plan kitchen and dining room. It was sparse but a camera on a tripod connected to a laptop caught your eye. There were items strewn across the table including a kit similar to the one you’d just processed for fingerprints back at the lab.
Moving in front of the camera to look at the laptop screen you noticed an exact reflection of what was in front of the camera, a live feed. You turned and looked away from the laptop screen around the room. That’s when the alarm bells rung, this stuff must not have been here when Greg and Sara processed the scene otherwise it would be at the lab. Slowly reaching for your gun you felt a stabbing sensation in your neck. 
The gun was knocked from your grasp across the room and you struggled against the person who’d come behind you.
“Just give in to it. Give in. You won’t be able to stand much longer. Do yourself a favour.” a woman’s voice came
You continued to struggle and managed to break yourself away briefly to see the woman’s face but it was blurry and your vision was swimming. Whatever she’d injected into you was already taking effect.
“Hannah? What did you?” you brought your hand up to your neck “Potassium?” you were feeling tired and like your tongue was heavy,
“Yes I am and no. It’s a nice little drug cocktail I mustered up when I heard you open the front door.”
You looked at your gun on the floor and tried to dive for it but that was a big mistake, your vision was spotting and Hannah kicked the gun away from your hand and stood on it, before giving you a kick to the stomach which rolled you over. “You really had to ruin my afternoon arrangements huh?”
She walked over to the table “It was supposed to be a nice little recording session to explain everything and finally end it all and be re-united with my brother. But no.” she turned around with another syringe. “You had to ruin it and take the peace away.”
You tried to crawl away on the floor and sit up to get away but she was soon back over at your side pushing you down and moving your hair out of the way. “But what’s one more casualty?” She forcefully pushed your head down to the ground, pain emitted there instantly. “Unfortunately I have nothing here that’ll kill you quickly besides the gun and that’s well that’s really not my style.”
Nick’s voice calling your name made her stop for a second. You tried your best to scream his but you had no clue what ever came out, the first dose of whatever she’d injected in your system already wreaking havoc on you.
You tried to struggle against her and push her away but it was too later, the needle had broken your skin and you could feel her injecting the concoction. She leaned down close to your ear and continued to inject the solutions as she whispered “Pitty I didn’t get to do this to anyone that actually worked on my cases before, that would have been more satisfying.”
Nick had entered the room to see her over you and saw her pulling the needle out of you and your body going limp. “Put your hands up.” he drew his gun and sent an alert out on his walkie subtly.
“I said put your hands up.”
Hannah eventually moved away from you and stood. “You don’t have long. The clock’s ticking for her already.”
“What did you inject!” he shouted.
She gestured to the table “Your guess is as good as mine, a little bit of everything.”
Nick peered at you to see your eyes fluttering open and closed as your head rolled on the ground.
“Step away.” he called to Hannah. 
“I don’t think I will.” she approached the table and picked up another vial. “You know I was saving this for me but I don’t think that’d do the trick quick enough. You wouldn’t let me have the satisfaction of dying that way.” 
She turned away from Nick as he took a step forward towards you as Hannah was slowly creeping away from you. Before he could really react he saw Hannah dive for something on the floor and stand upright again.
She held your gun to her head “Tell her I said thanks for the gun, but then again I might get the chance before you if she doesn’t make it.”
“No!” Nick shouted as he began to move towards Hannah for the gun. A bang had Nick freezing freezing, she’d shot herself.
Nick turned away in shock and shouted down his walkie talkie before coming to you with tears in his eyes. “Y/N.” he shook you “Y/N. Wake up please.”
He could see your eyes rolling in your head and you tried to open them. “Nicky.” you mumbled.
“Yeah Honey?”
“I love you.” it came out thickly “Remember that.” your voice sounded tired.
“I know Baby I know.” tears were threatening now “I love you too. Just stay with me ok?” We’re going to get you to the hospital.” he brought his fingers to your neck to try and feel your pulse.
He knew he’s asked for medical assistance and an emergency team but he couldn’t wait around. He knew it would be quicker to drive you. Picking you up he moved as fast as he could with you out to the car he’d arrived in, placing you across the back seats he hopped in the driver's seat and drove as fast as he could towards the nearest hospital.
“Y/N. Talk to me Sweetheart.” he begged as he drove.
“Please” he looked in the rearview mirror to try and see you but he could only see you lying still with limp arms. “Please speak to me. Please” he pleaded, tears very much collecting in his eyes. “We’re nearly there Honey. Nearly there, stay with me now. You’re going to be ok.”
He pulled up right outside the emergency room of the hospital and called for help as loud as he could while he moved you out of the back. Carrying you inside he was met by a team of people rushing towards him with a bed. He lay you down gently and kept brushing your hair out of your face and taking in your features as he rolled off what had happened to the staff. 
“Please just save her.” he sobbed, the tears finally falling.
“We’ll try our best Mr Stokes but you’re going to have to wait here.” A tall nurse spoke
“You don’t understand. She means everything to me.”
“We understand. Please just sit down and call someone.” the Nurse tried to push him back from the moving bed.
Nick took your hand and placed a kiss on it as the tears streamed down his face and the team around you started prodding your skin with different needles to draw blood and inject other solutions into your system.
He entirely froze in place when he let go of your hand and it felt like his world came crashing down around him as you turned the corner and were out of his sight. 
Flopping in a chair he opened his phone to see missed calls from Greg and Grissom. Pressing some buttons with no real aim he realised he was dialling Greg, bringing his cellphone to his ear he heard the man calling his name.
“Greg?”
“Nick, what the hell is going on? It does not look good over here.”
“I’m at the hospital with Y/N.”
“I guessed as much. Is everything ok? The EMT’s arrived at the same time Sara, Catherine and I did.”
“She might not make it.” Nick tried to hold back his tears but the hurt and sadness was very much still in his voice. “Hannah-” he was cut off by some tears falling and he tried to compose himself to continue to Greg “Hannah attacked Y/N and injected her with God only knows what. I couldn’t wait.”
“Alright. Alright.” Greg’s tone had softened now and was less urgent. “You keep your mind on Y/N we’ll sort this out. I think Grissom was on his way to you. Look after her ok?”
“Yeah” his voice was wobbly and he brought his hand up to his eyes “I’ll keep you updated.”
Hanging up he leant all the way forward, crossed his arms over his lap and rested his head there and let out some more sobs. The uncertainty was killing him. He couldn’t bear to lose you.
He looked up when he heard someone walking down the corridor to him. He was only now realising that he’d picked a really quiet spot to sit down.
Nick was immediately on his feet as soon as he saw who it was, his phone fell on the floor but he didn’t care. He took a couple of steps forward and opened his arms to embrace the older man who had been a father figure to him for many years. 
“Pancho.” Grissom spoke sadly as he cradled Nick’s head and allowed him to cry.
“I can’t lose her.” Nick choked out.
“I know Nick, I know.” the man gently pulled away to see Nicks red eyes and tear tracks down his face. “Let's get you some water.”
Nick picked up his phone from the floor and allowed Grissom to lead the way. Grissom knew how much you meant to him and all he could do right now was be a shoulder to cry on because no one knew what the future held.
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Press/Gallery: How Elizabeth Olsen Brought Marvel From Mainstream to Prestige
“The thing I love about being an actor is to fully work with someone and try so hard to be at every level with them, chasing whatever it is you need or want from them.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
  GALLERY LINKS
Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 008 Magazine Scans > 2021 > Backstage (August 19)
Backstage: Elizabeth Olsen grins widely over video chat when recalling many such moments on set with her co-stars. Yet, she can’t bring herself to divorce such a lofty vision of film acting from the technical multitasking it requires. The camera sees all.
“But then you move your hair, and you’re in your brain, like: OK, remember that! Because I don’t want to edit myself out of a shot. I know some actors are like, ‘Continuity, shmontinuity!’ But the good thing about continuity is, if you remember it, you’re actually providing yourself with more options for the edit.”
That need to balance being both inside the scene and outside of it, fully living it and yet constantly visualizing it on a screen, feels particularly apt in light of Olsen’s most recent project, “WandaVision.”
The mysteries at the heart of the show grow with every episode, each fast-forwarding to a different decade: Could this 1950s, black-and-white, “filmed in front of a studio audience” newlyweds bit be a grief-stricken dream? Might this ’70s spoof be a powerful spell gone awry? Could this meta take on mockumentary comedies be proof that the multiverse is finally coming to the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
The series’ structure, which branches out to include government agents intent on finding out why Westview has seemingly disappeared, calls for the entire cast to play with a mix of genres, balancing a shape-shifting tone that culminates in an epic, MCU-style conclusion. What’s key—and why the show struck a chord with audiences during its nine-episode run—is the miniseries’ commitment to grounding its initial kooky setups and its later special effects-driven spectacle in heartbreaking emotional truths. It’s no small feat, though it’s one that can often be taken for granted.
“I was thinking how hard it would have been to have shot the first ‘Lord of the Rings,’ ” Olsen muses. “Like, you’re putting all these actors [into the frame] later and at all these different levels. All the eyelines are completely unnatural. And yet the performances are fantastic! And technically, they are so hard. People forget sometimes that these things are really technically hard to shoot. And if you are moved by their performance, that took a lot of multitasking.”
As someone who has learned plenty about harnesses, wirework, fight choreography, and green screens (she’s starred in four Marvel movies, including the box office megahit “Avengers: Endgame,” after all), Olsen knows how hard it can be to wrap one’s brain around the work needed to pull off those big, splashy scenes.
“​​If you think about it, it’s, like, the biggest stakes in the entire world—every time. And that feels silly to act over and over again, especially when people are in silly costumes and the love of your life is purple and sparkly, and every time you kiss them, you have to worry about getting it on your hands. Those things are ridiculous. You feel ridiculous. So there is a part of your brain that has to shovel that away and just look into someone’s eyeballs—and sometimes, they don’t even have eyeballs!”
The ability to spend so much time with Wanda, albeit in the guise of sitcom parodies, was a welcome opportunity for Olsen. Not only did it allow the actor to really wrestle with the traumatic backstory that has long defined the character in the MCU, but having the chance to calibrate a performance that functions on so many different levels was a thrilling challenge.
“It was such an amazing work experience,” she says. “Kathryn [Hahn] uses the word ‘profound’—which is so sweet, because it is Marvel, and people, you know, don’t think of those experiences as profound when they watch them. But it really was such a special crew that [director] Matt Shakman and [creator] Jac Schaeffer created. It was a really healthy working environment.”
Related‘WandaVision’ Star Kathryn Hahn’s Secret to Building a Scene-Stealing Performance ‘WandaVision’ Star Kathryn Hahn’s Secret to Building a Scene-Stealing Performance Considering that the miniseries spans several sitcom iterations, various layers of televisual reality, and a number of character reveals that needed to feel truthful and impactful in equal measure, Shakman’s decision to work closely with his actors ahead of shooting was key.
“We truly had a gorgeous amount of time together before we started filming,” Olsen remembers. “Our goal was—which is controversial in TV land—that if you wanted to change [anything], like dialogue in a scene, you had to give those notes a week before we even got there. Because sometimes you get to set, and someone had a brilliant idea while they were sleeping, and you’re like, ‘We don’t have an hour to talk about this. We have seven pages to shoot.’ And so, we were all on the same page with one another, knowing what we were shooting ahead of time.
“Matt just treated us like a troupe of actors who were about to do some regional theater shit,” she adds with a smile.
That spirit of camaraderie was, not coincidentally, at the heart of Olsen’s breakout project, Sean Durkin’s 2011 indie sensation “Martha Marcy May Marlene.” As an introduction to the process of filmmaking to a young stage-trained actor, Durkin’s quietly devastating drama was a dream—and an invaluable learning opportunity.
“It was truly just a bunch of people who loved the script, who just were doing the work. I didn’t understand lenses, so I just did the same thing all the time. I never knew if the camera would be on me or not. There was just so much purity in that experience, and you only have that once.”
The film announced Olsen as a talent to watch: a keen-eyed performer capable of deploying a stilted physicality and clipped delivery, which she used to conjure up a wounded girl learning how to shake off her time spent in a cult in upstate New York. But Olsen admits that it took her a while to figure out how to navigate her career choices afterward. In the years following “Martha,” she felt compelled to try on everything: a horror flick here, a high-profile remake there, a period piece here, an action movie there. It wasn’t until she starred in neo-Western thriller “Wind River” (alongside fellow Marvel regular Jeremy Renner) and the dark comedy “Ingrid Goes West” (opposite a deliciously deranged Aubrey Plaza) that Olsen found her groove.
“It was at that point, when I was five years into working, where I was like, Ah, I know how I want it. I know what I need from these people—from who’s involved, from producers, from directors, from the character, from the script—in order to trust that it’s going to be a fruitful experience.”
As Olsen looks back on her first decade as a working actor, she points out how far removed she is from that young girl who broke out in “Martha Marcy May Marlene.”
“I feel like a totally different person. I don’t know if everyone who’s in their early 30s feels like their early 20s self is a totally different human. But when I think about that version of myself, it feels like a long time ago; there’s a lot learned in a decade.”
Those early years were marked by a self-effacing humility that often led Olsen to defer to others when it came to key decisions about the characters she was playing. But she now feels emboldened to not only stand up for herself and her choices but for others on her sets as well.
“[Facebook Watch series] ‘Sorry for Your Loss’ I got to produce, and I really found my voice in a collaborative leadership way. And with ‘WandaVision,’ Paul [Bettany] and I really took on that feeling, as well—especially since we were introducing new characters to Marvel and wanted [those actors] to feel protected and helped,” she says. “They could ask questions and make sure they felt like they had all the things they needed because sometimes you don’t even know what you need to ask.”
It’s a lesson she learned working with filmmaker Marc Abraham on the Hank Williams biopic “I Saw the Light,” and she’s carried it with her ever since. “I really want it to feel like we’re all in this together, as a team,” Olsen says. “That was part of ‘Sorry for Your Loss’ and it was part of ‘WandaVision,’ and I hope to continue that kind of energy because those have been some of the healthiest work experiences I’ve had.”
If Olsen sounds particularly zealous about the importance of a comfortable, working set, it is because she’s well aware that therein lies an integral part of the work and the process. As an actor, she wants to feel protected and nurtured by those around her, whether she’s reacting to a telling, quiet line of dialogue about grief or donning her iconic Scarlet Witch outfit during a magic-filled mid-air action sequence.
“Sometimes you’re going to be foolish, you know? And [you need to] feel brave to be foolish. Sometimes people feel embarrassed on set and snap. But if you’re in a place where people feel like they’re allowed to be an idiot,” she says, “you’re going to feel better about being an idiot.”
This story originally appeared in the Aug. 19 issue of Backstage Magazine. Subscribe here.
Press/Gallery: How Elizabeth Olsen Brought Marvel From Mainstream to Prestige was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen
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gucciwins · 3 years
Text
Breakout Room
Harry is chatty and Y/N wants out
Word count: 1162
A/N: I dislike breakout rooms but I was in class and this came to mind. I thought I’d share it with you all.  A short piece that I hope you enjoy. 
____
"Alright, class, it's now time for breakout rooms to discuss this week's readings that we had to do for Bad Feminists by Roxanne Gay. Groups of two or three. See you in 15 minutes." Professor Green said with a cheerful tone, happy to put you all in rooms of quietness. 
You dreaded when this time came. It's not like you to interact with others in person. Why do they assume you want to do it as well through a camera that freezes every time you move to pick up a pen? 
Group 4, accept or decline why is it an option when if you refuse, you stay in the main session with your Professor who will ask many questions and accept is dealing with others who may or may not make you question why they are in that class. Men in a gender's studies class are there to be educated, not to do the educating. Thankfully, Professor Green never gets tired of putting them in their place. 
You feel your palms begin to sweat as your screen begins to load, one person exiting as your camera focuses. There on the screen staring at you with a dimpled smile is a boy in a black hoodie where only half the top of the design can be seen. It's an exciting design, and if you were any other person, you would ask to settle the burning question, but you won't. 
He waves and begins to talk, but you can't hear him because he forgot to take off the mute. No, you don't tell him because this is amusing. 
You turn on your microphone and stare at yourself through the small box displaying your name. Your hair is up, and you're wearing a grey crew neck with three different colored birdhouses, as well as a Blue Jay, and a Red Robin. It's soft, and you got it thrift shopping for a dollar. 
It's an eight-thirty class, meaning you don't look awake enough yet. 
Times like this, you wish you liked coffee to wake you up, you prefer tea, but it seems your roommate finished the last one and didn't bother throwing out the box.
"I'm logging off. I'll log back in fifteen." You move your mouse to the red leave button but stop when you hear his voice.
"You're going to leave me alone." A whine heard in his voice, but that isn't what surprises you. It's the accent. He's British. 
Most of the time, you forget how large your university really is when you only interact with your department. 
"Are you in the states or back in your native country?" You ask because this would eat you alive if you didn't ask. 
"The accent always gives me away. No, I'm still here. I have an apartment close to the university. My lease is up after I graduate. No point in breaking it." Harry shares that as if you are an old friend. "I'm assuming you aren't leaving me anymore."
"I don't like breakout rooms." You're not sure why you didn't just leave. You don't owe him anything. This is your first meeting if you can call it that. 
"Well, sorry to hear that. I love them." Harry shares. "I love talking with people." 
"Sorry." You don't know why you apologize, but it felt like the right thing to do
"Well," He pauses, seeing as he now has your attention. "We could just talk." 
"Why?" 
He looks down at his lap before once more looking up, you're not sure if his cheeks went red or he's sweating, but he does look embarrassed. "You have a nice voice." 
"Uh… thanks." 
"I'm Harry." He puts us a piece sign in greeting. 
It's different, you think. 
"I know." 
Harry's mouth drops. "How?"
"It's displayed on the screen." You say before you see him look down, nodding because your name was there as well.
"Right." He scratches his neck, nervous tick, you assume. "How do you like this class?" 
"It's great. Thinking of declaring it as a minor. Not that many units." You tell him surprised at your willingness to do that,  
"Barely? Shouldn't minors be declared sooner? I'm assuming you're a senior or whatever." 
"A junior, but I would be double minoring." 
"Impressive. I'm also a junior. Scary how close our last year is. What's your major?"
"Psychology," Your camera shakes, your cat headbutting the laptop, causing you to laugh, but Harry never questions you. "And yours?"
"Kinesiology."
You hum, nodding your head. 
"What's that look?" Harry is quick to question.
You shrug. "Just typical of you frat boys, if I'm honest." 
"I'll have you know I'm not one of them." He tells you smugly. 
"Shocker." You roll your eyes, getting him to laugh at your bored tone. 
"It's just that I'm too pretty for them." Harry fakes a hair flip causing you to burst out into laughter. 
"Very humble as well." The sarcasm dripping from your voice. 
You both laugh, causing you both to fall silent. 
"See, this was nice, a virtual date." You swear his eyes almost pop out when he realizes what he said. "Shit, what, not a date, not that you're not pretty because you are, but uh.. I'll shut up now."
"You're not so bad yourself, Styles, but you already know that." 
His camera goes black for a second before he returns, looking more composed. "Do you want to talk again?" 
"If the zoom gods allow it." You joke. 
"You're funny. I bet your laugh is even better in person." Harry has his head propped on his chin, smiling at you, a bit loved up if you're honest.
It makes you feel flustered; gosh, when has a boy ever managed that. Before you can reply, a text pops up on your screen, informing you there are sixty seconds to return to the main session. You don't even think about before accepting and leaving Harry alone without a goodbye. 
The last half hour of the class goes by quick. You push all thoughts away from the pretty brunette you spent fifteen minutes talking to. Professor Green bids you all goodbye, and you're out after typing out a "Thank you, Professor." Not giving you time to think about it twice. 
____
After scheduling out the following week's readings and assignments, you log in to your email, always needing to be up to date. Also, to get rid of spam that you may have begun to receive. There is one from a professor letting you know they submitted the letter of recommendation. You type out a quick thank you, it took a lot of courage to ask, but thankfully it got done, meaning a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. 
You stay staring at one email. It shocks you, honestly. 
Subject: ZOOM ABANDONMENT 
You laugh at the subject, not at all, having expected him to reach out.
It seems it wouldn't be the end of your interaction with Harry Styles, but the beginning. 
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glimmerofawesome · 3 years
Note
https://twitter.com/KatieWhyatt/status/1386214562974814209?s=19
Great article.  It’s a good summary of Fran’s story of how she ended up at Chelsea
Article below for anyone who doesn’t have access
The inside story of Fran Kirby’s move to Chelsea
Fran Kirby had been on Emma Hayes’ radar for years before arriving at Chelsea aged 22 in July 2015.
As Arsenal’s academy director, Hayes had seen a teenage Kirby strut her stuff for Reading more times than she’d care to count. Yet the chase would be ignited by one moment several years on, when Kirby, by then in Reading’s first team, came up against World Cup winner Yukari Kinga.
“She pirouetted on the ball against Kinga and blew past her,” Hayes recalls. “I thought, ‘Well — that’s unbelievable. She’s so dynamic’. I really wanted somebody to bring that type of play to our team, and Chelsea and Fran Kirby are a perfect match. She’s been instrumental in the history we have created here.”
Kirby is now Women’s Super League Player of the Year in waiting and potentially three games away from earning her first Champions League winner’s medal. She should finish this season — which may yet end in a quadruple — with a clutch of personal awards, and it is not an exaggeration to say she is among the frontrunners for the next Women’s Ballon d’Or.
Few players on the planet, other than the one with whom she has formed such a dangerous Chelsea partnership in Sam Kerr, have been able to rival Kirby’s inimitable artistry and verve over the past several months. The ease with which she and Kerr have dismantled WSL defences for sport has propelled their club to dizzying new levels.
This is the inside story of how Chelsea signed her.
Kirby’s stock had been rising for years before Chelsea finally made their move.
Her time at Reading had spawned hefty goal haul after hefty goal haul: 32 in 21 games in 2012-13, then 24 in 16 in a higher division the following season, then 11 in five in 2015. That season included all Reading’s goals in a 4-2 away win over Yeovil and five in a 7-0 swatting of London Bees.
Such prolific numbers caught England’s attention. In June 2014, Kirby became the first WSL 2 — now the Championship — player to be called up to the senior side, coming in for World Cup qualifiers against Belarus and Ukraine. She marked her debut, against Sweden two months later, with the classic debut goal.
“She’d come into the squad and people would be like, ‘Oh, she’s she’s got to be in the WSL at some point — she’s too good’,” recalls Karen Carney, Kirby’s former England and Chelsea team-mate. Two years later, Kirby represented England at the SheBelieves Cup, where Carney was approached by Carli Lloyd, the World Cup winner with whom she had played at Chicago Red Stars. “After the game, she came up to me and said, ‘Who?! Who is that kid?!’ I said, ‘It’s Fran. She’s decent. Keep an eye on her. She’s got a future’. It was just her agility that really caught me: her ability to shift from left to right just effortlessly.”
In May 2015, Kirby was named in the squad for that summer’s World Cup in Canada. England’s first goal in their 2-1 win over Mexico made her the country’s youngest World Cup goalscorer at 21.
The subsequent media frenzy saw the whole world learn Kirby’s story and she was expected to be the tournament’s breakout star.
However, they did not know of the negotiations taking place behind the scenes or the fact that Kirby was balancing her maiden World Cup — a campaign followed by more than 750 million television viewers — with a move to one of the biggest clubs in the world, and had been even before she boarded the plane.
“The atmosphere was pretty was pretty electric leading up to leading up to the World Cup,” remembers John Sorzano, who was Kirby’s agent at the time. “The interest had been there ahead of the World Cup, ahead of the announcements. It (had been) rising, bubbling under. She had interest from Arsenal, offers from Manchester City. They were willing to pay a lot more.”
In the same week Raheem Sterling moved from Liverpool to Manchester City to become the then-most expensive English footballer, Reading announced that her transfer was a British record in the women’s game — a claim Chelsea denied — with the BBC anticipating Kirby could have fetched anything in the region of £40,000-£60,000.
“The fee ended up being closer to £70,000,” says Sorzano. “What makes her transfer really, really interesting is that I remember clubs like City and Arsenal were prepared to go to £150,000-£200,000 for the player. It was different because my experience had been traditionally in the men’s game. To then to see that transition, where the women were being valued at that point — it was pretty awesome.”
Kelly Chambers jolted when news of Chelsea’s offer reached her. As manager of Reading, then a part-time side in the second tier, Chambers had never before overseen a transfer involving a fee.
“At the time, I didn’t even know she had an agent,” Chambers says. “It must have all happened so quickly for her. It was her first-ever England tournament, so she probably had so much going on in her head. It was a shock to us because it came out of the blue for me. I actually ended up getting in our academy manager, Lee Herron, to support me with the process, because he would have dealt with different stuff on the boys’ side of the game and he was involved in the first team here and there. He would have understood the negotiations and the talk that goes on in the men’s game, and with the agent.”
Kirby was Reading’s only full-time player, training with the club’s under-15s boys. Reading did not play in the top flight until the following season. Another year with the academy was all they could offer her, with Kirby continuing to supplement her football career with girls’ coaching sessions for Reading’s Community Foundation. She had been with Reading since the age of eight, enjoying not just success on the football pitch but enduring the well-documented personal battles that ensued following the death of her mother when Kirby was 14 and her subsequent hiatus from football to conserve her mental health.
“For her, it was almost like it was an opportunity where, if she didn’t take it now, would it still be available if we didn’t get promoted?” Chambers explains. “If anything, she wanted a change. She had been with us for so long, and (had) a lot of history in terms of her football, family and everything else. It was probably more for her to just have something completely different in her life that would challenge her differently.
“We did want to keep her and we did put up a bit of a fight, but we were very understanding of what was on offer for her and what we could offer. She could fulfil her dreams of being a professional footballer and it allowed us to build the club a little bit more that season.”
Amid the interest from Manchester City and Arsenal, Kirby plumped for Chelsea. Infrastructurally, there was little to separate the three: all were among the richest and best-equipped women’s teams in the country. Arsenal had the history, built on more than a decade of historical dominance. City had new money, ambitions and a training base worth more than £200 million. Chelsea had never won a major trophy — but they had the deal-breaker.
“We thought she’d be in much better hands with Emma Hayes,” says Sorzano. “She was the catalyst for all of it and still is for many players now. For personalities, she’s infectious. She just gets into you. Her ambition, attention to detail and the discipline she demands — you want to play for her.”
But it meant that Kirby would be entering negotiations with the latter stages of the World Cup looming.
The biggest move of Kirby’s life, and the most significant for an English player since Manchester City hoovered up the likes of Steph Houghton and Toni Duggan in 2013, was running concurrently with the most intense matches of her career. Knowing this coloured Sorzano’s negotiations, with the deal not signed until after the tournament but finalised while Kirby was more than 3,000 miles away in Canada.
“In most negotiations, what you really try to do, especially with a young player, is keep them away from the stress of it,” Sorzano says. “Fran just let go and said, ‘Let me know when it’s all done and what it is’. We explained to her what the process would entail and that, in the end, there would be transparency and she would know what occurred.
“We were obviously transparent, explaining to her what her personal terms were, what the clauses were and all the intricacies of her contract. For the negotiation itself, and feeding back day-to-day updates, we wouldn’t do that because that would just destabilize a player. Especially with the massive pressure of being included in the World Cup squad like that, at that age: all that exposure and all the talk of ‘Mini Messi’.”
That had been England manager Mark Sampson’s nickname for her and he giddily revealed it to the world in his post-match interviews following Kirby’s opening goal in that first group-stage win. She admitted years later that she found it burdensome: it was only reading an interview with her England team-mate Duggan, who lamented that Kirby was never allowed to be just Fran Kirby, that allowed her to see it for what it was.
“It was unfortunate that they branded her Mini Messi,” says Sorzano. “She’s Fran Kirby, and she’s amazing. (With) all that stuff, I think it was important to shield her from the day-to-day hassle of, ‘They’re not accepting this, and the club has spoken’. Really, players don’t need to get involved in that, and neither does the agent. Once the club started speaking, we were just bystanders, rather than inundating her with information that would essentially stress her out.”
Kirby’s move was announced on July 8, joining Chelsea on a three and a half year deal. She went on to her become the PFA Women’s Players’ Player of the Year and the Football Writers’ Association Women’s Footballer of the Year in April 2018. There have followed four league titles, two FA Cups, a League Cup and a Community Shield (she did not play in Chelsea’s League Cup win last year). Last December, she became Chelsea Women’s record goalscorer.
“It gives you hope that you’ve got someone that can dig you out of a hole, at any point and any time,” says Carney, recalling the four seasons she spent playing alongside Kirby before retiring and moving into a punditry career for BT Sport and the BBC. “That’s a sign of a big player. Even as the game’s going really fast or really frantic, when you give them the ball, or you watch them when you’re on the same pitch, it’s like slow-mo. Everything slows down and it’s just implicit trust: you give them the ball and you just know that they can make something happen.”
It does not always pay to make comparisons between men’s and women’s football but one cannot help but feel, to paraphrase Bill Shankly, that Kirby was made for Chelsea and Chelsea for her; even more so, perhaps, given her circuitous route to get there.
Kirby dropped out of the England system at under-17 level. She did not represent her country again until the under-23s. Her club career reads as a run of relentless successes but there have been umpteen injuries in there too: in 2018 alone, her ankle, a hamstring and a knee all betrayed her.
Worse still was to come the following season, with the diagnosis of pericarditis, a heart infection, that ruled her out for more than six months from November 2019. She collapsed at the home she shared with team-mates Bethany England and Maren Mjelde. Cardiologists told her she might never play again, while Hayes reassured her two-time Ballon d’Or nominee Kerr had been signed to play alongside her, despite England having been voted WSL Player of the Year and the PFA Women’s Players’ Player of the Year.
Despite the huge setback, Kirby was not finished.
“This season is probably, for me, her proudest achievement,” Hayes says. “To recover, after what she went through, and to produce even better performances… You have to have unbelievable character to do that.”
Bayern Munich will be the latest opponents tasked with stopping a side containing Kirby and Kerr, in the best form of their careers, plus the world’s most expensive women’s player in Pernille Harder from scoring in the first leg of a Champions League semi-final today (Sunday). To do so would be a first — no one has kept a clean sheet against Chelsea all season — but it is a stake fitting for a competition that will crown new champions this year. For Kirby and Kerr to see their unfaltering excellence rewarded would be equally so.
“Sam will stretch the play; if she doesn’t, there are no spaces for Fran or Pernille,” says Carney. “If someone gets tight to Harder, the space is there for somebody else. When Sam Kerr does that movement in behind, Fran gets that free space to roam and do what she does best. It’s just fluid. The way Emma trains a team is just repetition, repetition, repetition, but there’s definitely a relationship that isn’t actually trainable between Sam and Fran. That’s very rare.
“When she first came onto the scene, Fran was an out-and-out No 9 and I still argue that is her best position. She would sit in between and just spin and run in behind. But she’s evolved, become more of a No 10. She can play off the flanks a little bit more and I still think she can keep improving. She’s in third gear and there’s much more to come, but it’s about not putting pressure on her. When she’s smiling and happy, she’ll go into fourth gear and fifth gear. It’s a process, but she’s improving all the time.
“She’s been through a rough period and has come through it. A lot of people have had to be patient, wait for her star to shine and give her a little bit of respite to recover and be in a happy place. She’s there. She’s a great soul. It’s such a joy to watch her and see her be happy and healthy. That’s the most important thing.”
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chilling-seavey · 3 years
Text
Anything But Mine - The ‘Work Wife’
A/N Inspired by this tiktok; Florence meets Daniel’s ‘work wife’
Tuesday, December 15, 2026
Florence watched the elevator numbers tick up to 8 and then the doors slid open onto the floor. She was wrapped in her winter coat, legs clad in grey sweats and hair tied back in a haphazard ponytail and the stroller pushed in front of her. Two-year-old Lucy was asleep in the stroller, bundled up in her coat and hat and mitts and boots, already starting to miss her naptime. Florence was only hoping she wouldn’t wake up while at Daniel’s work because one look at her father and Lucy would never get back to sleep until he came home at the end of the day.
It had been a while since Florence had visited the studio and a new secretary sat behind the welcome desk. She was talking on the phone but hung up when she saw the guest approaching.
“Hi honey. What can I do for you?” she asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.
“Just here to drop off Daniel’s laptop.” Florence answered with a tired sigh and a half smile as she set the bag on top of the desk. “He forgot it this morning.”
“That sounds like him! Wait, are you Florence?” the secretary smiled widely, “Oh my God, I’m meeting the other woman.”
Florence’s eyebrows furrowed a moment in confusion.
The young lady continued, “I’m sure you’ve heard lots about me.”
“No, actually.” Florence spoke slowly, eyeing her up carefully.
“You haven’t? Wow, Daniel’s keeping us a secret. How scandalous!” the lady giggled youthfully, “I’m Alexa. I’m Daniel’s work wife!”
Florence’s eyebrow peaked and she shifted in place, “His what?”
“His work wife! Funny story how that came to be; it started because I just always got his coffee exactly how he likes it in the morning, right when he came in! I just understood him on, like, a spiritual level!”
Florence had to work hard to keep her facial expression flat, “He’s allergic to coffee.”
“Oh, haha, I wondered why he never drank it! He is just too nice to even correct me, I guess. Silly man.”
“Can you just tell him I’m here?” Florence asked impatiently, tapping her fingers on top of the desk, her right hand still held protectively around the handle of the stroller.
“Oh, I’m sorry, he’s in a session right now and asked not to be disturbed. I’ll tell him you came by and I’ll leave this on his desk for him.” Alexa took the laptop bag and slung it over her own shoulder. “He’s been working so hard. I was just thinking that Dan and I have been staying here for so many late hours together recently that I probably see him more than you do! You poor thing. We take good care of each other though.”
“Dan?” Florence nearly gagged.
“We have little nicknames for each other.” Alexa giggled.
“Right.” Florence scowled.
“Anyway, I’ll let you go. You look tired. Babies keeping you busy?”
Florence couldn’t even get out a response before Alexa was stepping out from behind the desk and was heading down the hallway.
“I bet. Nice meeting you, Florence! Be good to our husband. I’m watching!”
As expected, Daniel came home a bit later than usual that night. Lucy had already been put to bed and Penelope and Clementine were just eating their bedtime snack when he came home. The two girls came running at the sound of the door and Daniel crouched down to give them equal amounts of kisses over each little cheek. They were already in their pyjamas and Daniel scooped up Penelope into his arms on the way back into the living room.
Florence was on the couch when he came in, her face flat.
“Thanks for bringing my bag today. I would have come to get it but I was so busy.”
She turned slightly when he leaned down to kiss her so all he got was her cheek.
Daniel frowned and set Penelope down so she could join Clementine back at their table to finish their snack. He sat down beside his wife, “What’s going on?”
“Just wondering if you’d prefer to go home to your other wife.”
“My what?” Daniel was taken back.
“Your other wife. Alexa. And your probable other kids too.”
Daniel couldn’t get a rebuttal out before the girls were bounding back over to him.
“Daddy, can you tuck us in?” Clementine asked eagerly, grabbing the sleeve of his sweater.
“Of course.” he put on a smile for his daughters but was concerned about Florence’s statement and he thought about it the entire time he tucked his eldest two into bed and read them a story and kissed them good night.
Florence was still on the couch when he returned from the hallway and he sat back down beside her with a tired sigh. She ignored him.
“Wanna tell me why you think even the concept of another wife would graze my mind?” he asked quietly.
“How long as Alexa worked there?”
“Few months. Maybe five. Why? Did she say something to you today?”
“Yeah. She said a fucking lot.” Florence scoffed. Her arms stayed crossed over his chest and she stared at the ground coldly. “I’m not the other woman first of all. And I’m not going to stand there and be ridiculed by a college freshman about how you and her are fucking in love or some bullshit.”
“She really said that?” Daniel’s eyes went wide.
“Yeah. Called herself your ‘work wife’…that you two just ‘get each other’…that ‘Dan and I spend so many late nights together haha’. Fucking bitch.”
Daniel’s face literally contorted in disgust, “Ugh, I hate ‘Dan’.”
“I know. And why haven’t you told her you’re allergic to coffee? She’s going around flaunting that she knows your order like it fucking matters.”
“She’s…she just seemed nice and I felt badly.”
“Well don’t! She thinks a cup of coffee is the start of a goddamn affair. What have you been doing with her after hours?”
“She’s not even there half the time after hours.” Daniel answered easily, honestly. “So put any idea of that out of your mind right now.”
“You’re not our husband.” Florence grumbled, turning her head away from him. “How dare she even say that to me.”
“Hey. I know.” Daniel shuffled closer and set his hand on her cheek to pull her gaze towards him. “I’m only yours. I promise.”
Florence sniffled and nodded lightly. Daniel tilted her head up to kiss her lips, lingering there a moment just so she could feel it and when he pulled back, she let out a little sigh.
“I’m sorry she said that shit. I’ll talk to her. That’s not okay.” Daniel whispered, resting back against the couch beside her and Florence shuffled to curl into his side.
“She said I look tired.” Florence mumbled sadly, “Do I look tired? Am I letting motherhood steamroll me?”
“No way.” Daniel tisked, sliding his arm around her waist to hold her close, “You are steamrolling motherhood.”
Florence chuckled lightly.
“I’m serious.” Daniel pressed a kiss to her forehead and slid his hand down to her bum, “Always have been and always will be the sexiest woman in the room to me.”
“Even like this?” Florence sniffled, leaning back from his shoulder so he could get a good look at her; messy hair and few little breakouts over her cheeks and dark circles under her eyes.
Daniel smiled, giving her bum a little squeeze as his other hand reached up to caress her face, “Especially like this. There is no other woman in the entire world that I would ever give a second glance to and especially not Alexa. I am wholeheartedly yours.”
Florence leaned up to kiss his lips a few soft times before nuzzling into his neck. He smiled and wrapped his arms right around her.
“You had no clue she was flirting with you, did you?” Florence asked after a while.
“Mm, no, I really didn’t.” Daniel admitted.
“You’re so innocent, Daniel James.” Florence giggled.
“Am not.” Daniel tisked. “But, listen, I’m going to buy you a nice dress for my work Christmas party this Friday and you’re going to dress up just how you like to and you’ll feel like the most beautiful woman in the room and I won’t be leaving your side all night.”
“You don’t have to buy me a dress.” Florence laughed lightly.
“Yeah, I do. A nice tight one with a low cut…” his fingers trailed down her clothed body. “Gonna blow everyone away.”
And that’s exactly what happened. Daniel bought Florence a pretty red dress specifically for the party and a matching red tie of his own. They showed up to his work party in dress and suit down to their polished black shoes and perfectly done hair and you’d be surprised to think they even had three children. Walking into the venue Florence truly felt like a million bucks and the proud smile that was on her face was only proof to her husband that his idea worked.
They mingled around the various groups, sitting at their table with Jack and his fiancé for a little bit, and eventually finding Alexa by the bar.
“Wow, Florence, you clean up well.” the young woman spoke straightly.
“Thank you.” Florence answered politely, hand still tucked in Daniel’s arm as they waited for their drinks. She had been raised in this exact setting; formalwear and conniving strangers, so Florence worked it like an expert.
Daniel was proud of Florence’s politeness in front of the woman who tried to ruin them a little if not at all but when Daniel was called over to speak with his boss, Florence lingered back at the bar a moment. She eyed up Alexa’s tight short dress and messy curls and leaned in towards her with a calm smile, her two diamond rings on display around her glass in the direction of the young lady, “If you go anywhere near my husband in any way, shape, or form that is anything except professional, I will see to it that you’re fired faster than you can say ‘mine’. So back off.”
Florence returned to Daniel’s side, shooting a glare at the young woman over her shoulder as Daniel’s arm slid around her waist protectively. Like hell she was ever going to let someone get in the way of her perfect catch. 
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winsmoke · 4 years
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𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡
Renjun quickly grows better at speaking in English to talk dirty to you in class.
⊹ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 1.2k ⊹ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 bored female student y/n x Renjun ⊹ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 college au (online), fluff, strangers to lovers au ⊹ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 swearing, suggestive  ⊹ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 🦷 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 This was my first NCT fanfiction. I just reread this and holy shit it’s horrible. I’m so embarrassed. ⊹ 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 disclaimer | masterlist
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   The online english summer course was quite possibly one of Renjun’s worst ideas. This is the conclusion Renjun came to after the first 15 minutes of class. He was good at understanding English but when it came to speaking it? As if. And obviously, the course just happened to stress verbal communication more than grammar and spelling. 
   Presentations, skits, singing, and essentially everything orally possible. Plus homework after a two hour class…there was no way.
   “I’m going to put everyone into breakout rooms,” Professor Johnson announced. “First introduce yourselves, in english, and then practice reading out loud the vocab list I sent you. And with your partner, prepare a sentence using the new vocabulary. You will need to learn these words by tomorrow so don’t slack off.”
 Although everyone’s video picture was small, it was clear the whole class had become nauseated by Professor Johnson’s words. 
   When the breakout room appeared on his computer screen, there was no one there. Must be an odd number of students in the class, Renjun realized. Frustrated, he opened his emails and clicked on the quizlet link the professor sent to the class.
   “Fuck, might as well get some of this shit started,” Renjun muttered, selecting the ‘flashcards’ button, not realizing that you had finally entered the breakout room. 
   “Learn 30 vocab words by tomorrow? This man trippin’… okay I know ocean… sea? Yeah… river, I’ve heard that before… lake… gu-gulf?... bay… wait isn’t that like or girlfriend?... octopus… when the hell is this gonna be relevant in my life??” Renjun slammed the mouse down on his desk in annoyance. 
   You couldn’t control the laugh that spilled from your lips.
   “Oh shit!” Renjun glanced frantically around his room, expectedly waiting for an alien or a ghost to pop his ass. 
   “Bro chill, I’m in the breakout room,” you said cooly with a raised eyebrow. Damn this boy must be innocent as fuck. 
   Realizing his mistake, Renjun blushed darkly and minimized Chrome to look at you. 
   “Uh sorry...” he mumbled, licking his lips nervously. 
   “You’re good.”
 You slowly analyze his face while he scrutinized yours. Both of you had achingly cute faces, contrasting your more depraved thoughts and attributes. While Renjun’s eyes fell on your plump lips, your eyes landed on Renjun’s dyed hair.
   “Interesting hair,” you commented after making your final judgement of Renjun’s inferiority. 
   “What’s wrong with being a blonde?” Renjun asked, feeling offended.
   “Nothing,” you shrugged. You didn’t like talking much, explanations were too tiring. 
   “Well, I like your hair,” Renjun offered hopefully, fishing for a compliment in return.
 You cracked your wrists in irritation. So desperate, you thought.
   “Should we go over the flash cards? I’m y/n, what’s your name.” You wanted to make this process as painless as possible. 
   “Huang Renjun. It’s nice to meet you,” he said and shyly smiled.
 You bit your lip to contain your own. You had to admit that he was kind of adorable. Pushing the urge to smile back aside, you quickly opened the quizlet and scanned through.
   “This is so easy: ocean, sea, river, lake gulf, bay, creek, octopus, whale, jellyfish, swimming suit, to swim, to be wet–” you read off rapidly.
   “How are you so good?” Renjun interrupted, amazed and slightly insecure. He brought his face close to his laptop’s camera making you a little uneasy. You shrugged again.
   “Does it matter?” your tone marginally betraying you.
   “I guess not… ” Renjun sighed, he wasn’t getting anywhere with you. “Um, should we make a sentence?” 
   You gave a singular nod.
   “How about I swim in the ocean?” Renjun suggested.
   “That’s boring,” you whined, “Ugh, this summer is going to bore me into my grave.”
   “Well since your so smart why don’t you think of an riviting sentence?” Renjun huffed, getting fed up with you. You glowered at him.
   He wants a riveting sentence? Fuck it.
   “How about you drowned in the ocean?” you offer sharply. “Or how about, the octopus made the girl wet? Is that entertaining enough for you?”
   Suddenly the breakout room switched back to the main session.
   “Alright everyone share your sentences with the class!” Professor Johnson instructed happily. 
   “I’ll start,” Renjun sneers. You were ready to reach into your laptop and slap this boy. 
   “In the ocean, the girl drowned because the octopus put one of the tentacles in her mouth,” he said with a deadpan expression.
 You almost screamed. The balls this guy has.
   “Wow! What a long sentence! And you used a lot of vocabulary we haven’t covered yet!” the teacher praised. Renjun smiled widely and when the teacher asked for another volunteer he winked into the camera. 
   By the end of the class, the two had exchanged so many subtle sexual innuendos you both didn’t know if you were horny because of the dirty words or the desire to strangle one another. Either way, you two carried out the rest of their day pissed. Renjun was so hellbent on coming up with more arousing sentences the next class that he studied the vocabulary for the following day. 
   Both of you couldn’t figure out how to get yourselves off when you fell into bed that night.
   The next day, the two of you could not take their eyes off one another but you weren’t partnered together. The next day you weren’t partnered together again. And again. This only encouraged you two to make even dirtier sentences to say once the breakout rooms returned to the main session. Miraculously, no one caught wind of what you were insinuating, not even the professor. 
   By the end of the week, Renjun finally appeared on your breakout room screen. You had been told to come up with a skit to perform on Monday. 
   Strangely the script you came up with was rather civilized. And since you both were determined to out smart one another, you had memorized it by the third run through. But that didn’t matter, you two had to see each other.
   “I think you need more practice,” Renjun advised innocently. You scoffed.
   “Clearly it’s you who needs more time.”
   “Well since we both need to rehearse, how about we meet up?” Renjun proposed.
   “We’re in a whole pandemic right now,” you try to reason.
 Renjun couldn’t help himself but watch your lips. They were too plump.
   “I’m clean if you are,” Renjun said, licking his lips.
   “Where would we even meet?” you asked, racking your brains. You were too far gone now. 
   “I think a car is a big enough space to rehearse,” Renjun said, biting his lip in anticipation.
   “Tomorrow?” you asked, almost moaning.
   “Tonight,” Renjun demanded. “Send me an addy, I’ll be there at 8.”
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desertislandcloud · 3 years
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Dubbed a “pillar of San Francisco's garage-psych community” and “one of the best writers and performers working in the indie scene today”, Luke Sweeney has been a working musician for over a decade, playing with a wide variety of cohorts such as Tim Cohen (Fresh & Onlys) and Healing Potpourri. 
His personal output sparked critical interest from the outset, with his self-released 2013 solo debut ‘Ether Ore’ garnering praises for its “distinctly handcrafted feel” and “melodies that feel like opiates for the soul” (San Francisco Chronicle).  Then Sweeney’s 2014 full-studio breakout ‘Adventure:Us’, recorded in Brooklyn with longtime friend and collaborator Robin MacMillan, “expanded into far-reaching pop, psychedelic, and classic-rock realms with humor and irreverence” (Portland Mercury). 
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A “kaleidoscopic whoosh of psych-pop, indie-folk, lo-fi soul and futuristic blues” that “confounds aural expectations and puts the knock-on reverence” (Austin Chronicle), the record was already in the periphery of Sweeney’s musical consciousness by the time his van and band were scraping across westerly cities of the U.S.
In between tours, Sweeney was working on songs that would make up the album ‘Peace Meal’ from his San Francisco apartment overlooking the Pacific Ocean. 
Tracking Garageband demos in the quiet of the night - with an occasional N-Judah train purring through acoustic clippings - Sweeney’s goal was to make this record quickly before he could question the meaning of it all.  The songs came to life in 2015 from tireless studio sessions in Brooklyn and SF but were left in cosmic limbo while MacMillan meticulously arranged accompaniments from some of NY’s finest (Frank LoCrasto, Christina Courtin, Jacob Silver) and brought the mixes around.  Sweeney kept busy playing the part of the gangly trouble-making troubadour, hosting residencies at Brick & Mortar Music Hall, Make-Out Room, and Amnesia (RIP) in San Francisco as well as supporting the likes of Jessica Pratt, Sugar Candy Mountain, La Luz and Night Moves; dragging his ‘strange pop sensibility’ through western American landscapes over the course of near-constant tours and festivals - including three consecutive years of SXSW appearances.  Then, on a fateful night in April 2018, just as the final mix of the ‘Peace Meal’ record was being sent his way, an astrological grip intercepted Sweeney’s life when he awoke to find his infant daughter no longer breathing.
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The loss of a child is a pain and grief like no other.  Yet, eventually, Sweeney came to understand his daughter as much more than just a child: she’s an infinite being that serves as his guide, his teacher, his muse.  In the process of healing, it became clear that the very songs laying motionless after countless hours of labor on the studio floor were exactly the ones he needed to hear.  Lines like “You hear me now, across the great divide” indicated to Sweeney (or rather, reminded him) that there is life beyond what we physically inhabit.  Furthermore, the realm of subconsciousness is typically where Luke Sweeney draws his greatest inspirations.
Full EP here on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album
So, the long-awaited arrival of ‘Peace Meal’ in 2019 felt like a rebirth, in that the songs are the fruit of a communicative collaboration between this plane of existence and another; the stuff of the cosmos that Sweeney has been personally tasked to deliver.  As one writer put it upon listening: "It is easy to hear why this album has a healing quality for Sweeney; Peace Meal digs deep and balances a strong introspective slant with melodies reaching out for listeners and inviting them into its musical world. It deserves consideration as his finest work yet" (Too Much Love).  Meanwhile, breezy melodies and buoyant beats showcase what is musically Sweeney’s most pop-oriented album to date: “a smorgasbord of influence: there’s Kinks and T. Rex, there’s Mungo Jerry and the smallest touch of Latin vibes; waltzy beats. Above all, the lyrics are clever, kooky and funny and god bless him, they’re interesting…  Sweeney writes songs with connective energy about them. This Sweeney has a soul” (TheBayBridged).   Now, to face a world still turning and a consciousness still burning, Luke Sweeney is poised to deliver an opulent array of sonic riches in 2021: first his ‘Critique of Nature’ EP slated for April 3 release (4/3/21), then a studio re-working of 2020 quarantine demos due in June.
https://twitter.com/lalalukes https://www.facebook.com/lukesweeneymusic https://lukesweeney.com https://www.instagram.com/thelukesweeney
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happylittlemarmite · 3 years
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Digital Practice Journal: Week 3
Sessions themes: This weeks session is one I’ve been hoping for for a while now! My specific area of interest is graphic design and so I was extremely excited to work on something that I have such confidence with. We explored visual design and how it can be used to convey a message. To start, we looked at Ferdinand de Saussure, a swiss philosopher and semiotician.  “ De Saussure is regarded by many as the creator of the modern theory of structuralism, to which his langue and parole are integral. He believed that a word's meaning is based less on the object it refers to and more in its structure.” The example we looked at is the word “star”, it can mean a star like in the night sky but also be used to refer to a celebrity. There’s not one specific meaning but multiple implied meanings. On the contrary, French literary theorist, philosopher, and semiotician Roland Barthes argued that “Saussure’s model of the sign focused on denotation at the expense of connotation”.  A denotation is characterised by exactly what we see; a definition, something obvious. A connotation is characterized by “second-order” signs; not a direct definition but possible implications. For example, anyone can look at a picture of the Apple logo and see it for what it is (an apple with a bite), this is the denotation. Whereas for example a religious person may look at this and see it as a reference to The Story of the Fall from The Old Testament. In breakout groups, we were asked to analyse a series of images, thinking particularly about what signs make up the image and what messages they convey. It was interesting to share our immediate ideas with each other and see how our answers differed depending on individual perspectives and experiences (linking back nicely with last weeks session). We looked at a piece of American anti-Soviet propaganda from the 60′s and the range of ideas was so wide thinking in terms of where people came from, education level and their comprehension of the subject. We can only make individual inferences based on things we already know.
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We moved on to look at Persuasive design, thinking about the idea that image is more effective in triggering an emotive response from people than other mediums. Often seen as just a way to make something eye-catching or otherwise aesthetically pleasing, we discussed how colour can be used to convey a series of different emotional responses in an audience. For our class task we were asked to look at a range of colourful logos in order to think about their connotations and the artistic decisions behind them. I have pasted the logos and my notes below for the sake of simplifying the entry.
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We examined suggestion through typography, and how it’s a crossroads between verbal language and visual language.
Moving on with these elements in mind, we started reading into the 5 Gestalt principles:
Similarity - “Elements that share similar characteristics are perceived as more related than elements that don't share those characteristics.”
Proximity - “Objects that are closer together are perceived as more related than objects that are further apart.”
Continuity - “Elements arranged on a line or curve are perceived as more related than elements not on the line or curve.”
Closure - “When seeing a complex arrangement of elements, we tend to look for a single, recognizable pattern. [amongst it]”
Figure & Ground - “Elements are perceived as either figure (the element in focus) or ground (the background on which the figure rests).”
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Task 3: For this weeks task we were asked to prototype a poster for an institution of our choice, employing gestalt theory. We had to research and make during this time, so I didn’t have a lot of room to think super creatively but I’m considering making this my extended task so hopefully will have more time to experiment then. I used up the majority of the time doing research, which is a shame because I didn’t really apply this research to the piece. I had decided to make a poster for the charity Mind, using a statistic in order to illustrate the law of proximity. I think in some ways I also applied the law of similarity, by using similar shapes with opposing colours to make the 1/4 statistic stand out, as shown below.
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Had I put more time into this, I would've liked to have applied some of the research I put into the charity’s existing materials, in terms of typography, colour and shapes. This poster as a stand alone is fine, but it doesn’t really fit with Mind’s brand and perhaps wouldn’t be recognised as such. I also would have liked to have experimented more creatively. Although I'm confident it fits the brief, it’s very basic and I don’t feel that its up to par with my usual standard of work.
#DP
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dailymilesmorales · 4 years
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Thor and Hulk are at it again. The Avengers' helicarrier is under attack by a swarm of robot minions under the command of MODOK, the head of a tech company who became a super-powered Inhuman villain after a catastrophe known as A Day — and still the raging green muscle finds time to hurl a projectile at Thor’s head. “Just like old times,” says the Asgardian, referencing a bit from 2012’s Avengers movie. Only this isn’t their next blockbuster sequel. It’s their first blockbuster video game.
Since the MCU has been put on indefinite hold in the wake of the global COVID-19 pandemic (see: Black Widow’s release date, production on the next Spider-Man movie), games — and, specifically, Marvel Games — are rising to meet the need for fresh stories. This year alone will see the debut of Marvel’s Avengers (Sept. 4) from the Tomb Raider team at Crystal Dynamics, plus Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales (holiday 2020), a separate spin-off of Insomniac Games’ 2018 Spidey adventure that revives the breakout Spider-Verse star.
“We always believed in the power of video games,” says Bill Rosemann, who’s like the Kevin Feige of Marvel’s gaming division. “We’re happy that more people than ever are discovering — even though you may be physically in different areas — [that] games can bring you together and create connections."
This next phase (to use an MCU term), which finally gives fans playable Marvel adventures on large console platforms, began with Spider-Man. Earlier attempts to make games of this scale, like an Avengers project planned to coincide with the original movie, fell apart. Leaked footage of this first-person effort, as well as a canceled Daredevil game, exist on YouTube as a glimpse of what could've been. The 2018 release, Marvel’s Spider-Man, finally webbed a green light because it was “all about timing,” says Rosemann. “It's all about what talent is available? Do they want to work with Marvel? If so, what's their passion? When you have all those things align, that’s when you can create something great.”
Jon Paquette, the lead writer of Marvel's Spider-Man, noted how one of their mantras "was to design an experience that felt like you were playing a Marvel movie." Out of that mission came a story about Peter Parker, a little more experienced in his years as New York's friendly neighborhood... you know, interwoven with a battle against a sinister rogues' gallery. It became the best-selling superhero game of all time, at over 13 million units. “We had a feeling it was gonna do that,” says Bryan Intihar, Insomniac’s creative director. "I mean, you don't [really] know. There’s this ultimate fear of screwing up one of the most popular characters.” When celebrities like Lin-Manuel Miranda and LeBron James began sharing images from the game on social media, they knew it had “reached another level."
They still didn’t know if they could make a sequel. There were two post-credits scenes that teased big things to come — another element borrowed from the movies — but that was them "stacking the deck," as Intihar put it. One stinger revealed that Miles Morales, an Afro-Latino teen from Harlem and a playable side character, also developed powers after a bite from a radioactive spider once held in Norman Osborn's secret lab.
“We knew really early that [Spider-Man] was going to end with him getting the spider bite," Intihar says. “We would tease it during development. I think everybody was focused on, 'Can you make the first one really good and we'll worry about the other stuff later?' But we wanted to have that set up so if it became a reality [to do another game] we could pull it off." At one point during an early workshop session, Miles was going to be a post-credits scene reveal and nothing more, but Intihar says the team determined it was important to "see the roots of him being a hero before he even had spider powers." Intihar adds of the final end-credits tag, "One of the reasons we put that out was to hopefully convince people that ‘He’s a Spider-Man now. Can we have a game with him?‘”
It paid off, partly because Insomniac went from being a partner with game publisher Sony Interactive Entertainment to being an official member of the Sony family once the company acquired Insomniac in fall 2019 for $229 million, per the company's financial statements. After that, "they were fully on board with the idea" for a sequel, Intihar says. Rosemann thinks of that first Spider-Man as "proof of concept." Now, for the holiday 2020 season (COVID-19 willing) Miles’ own game will further expand this virtual world.
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In Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales, set in winter one year after the events of the previous game, Miles' Harlem home is on the verge of being torn apart by a war between an energy corporation and a criminal organization armed to the teeth with advanced tech. It's not a formal sequel to Spider-Man. That, if the coy responses from the creatives are any sign, may or may not be coming later. It's a shorter spin-off, likened in scope to the Lost Legacy game in the Uncharted series. Nevertheless, Intihar promises "it has a lot of heart."
"This is a full arc for Miles Morales that started in Spider-Man," Brian Horton, the game's creative director, says. "We really are completing this hero's coming of age in our game. It is a complete story."
The choice of a smaller narrative came amid discussions of what that hero's journey looked like for Miles in the context of Insomniac's games. After all, Miles, according to Marvel Comics canon, doesn't typically exist in the same reality as Mr. Parker. "When we started crafting it," Horton recalls, "we realized that, with a little bit more of a compact storytelling style, we could tell a very emotionally impactful story that would fit really well as an experience that would take Spider-Man 1 and [Miles Morales] and do justice to this character."
Miles may be training with Peter to hone his Spidey skills, but Horton and Intihar see him as "his own Spider-Man." The animation, the movements, the mechanics, even his powers (including bioshock and invisibility) aren't just unique tricks for this character, they are metaphors for that hero's journey the pair keep mentioning. Peter's origin "was born out of tragedy" — i.e. the death of his Uncle Ben — but Horton mentions Miles "is more so born out of family. What I think is really compelling about Miles as a character is he has friends that he could actually let into his world — his human world and his Spider world. He's a little different in the way he approaches it."
Despite all this spin-off talk, Rosemann isn’t actively overlapping his universe of interconnected games — at least not yet. It's more like a Spider-Verse. "Each game is in the Marvel universe, but they're in their own reality, if you will," he says. "Currently, our plan is to keep each game set in its own Marvel universe." It's part of his goal to give game-makers as much freedom as possible to craft the stories they want to tell. So, while this year’s Avengers won’t be linked to Spider-Man, it has its own web-slinger. Spider-Man has been confirmed to arrive in Marvel's Avengers as a DLC story sometime after launch. But when the game drops, it will also come with a lead character who maintains certain parallels to Miles.
[..]
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dearjohnnyflynn · 3 years
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https://thelast-magazine.com/tlm13-johnny-flynn/
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JANUARY 22, 2015 ACTORCULTUREFILMMUSIC
TLM13: JOHNNY FLYNN
A resonator is a type of guitar built for a sound many generations old. It hums and shines, as if an acoustic guitar was broadcast through a tinny phone line. Rather than a wood sounding board, the heart of the guitar is a metal cone, ornately decorated, that brittles the sound and projects it even without electronic amplification. Resonators are rarer now; they’re hard to come by. But they carry a unique magic in their sound, their history, and their owners.
It was one of the first things he purchased with his record-deal money, and it has followed Flynn’s eclectic artistic path as band leader of the Sussex Wit and now as an actor, where he strums and plucks it through Song One, a film about a folk musician searching for inspiration and finding it in a woman and the New York music scene she traverses.
“I’ve learned that when a creative path dies out, another door opens, and you have to stay loose enough, present enough, and absorbent enough to figure out what path you have to walk down,” Flynn says in his soft English accent. “That sounds like a terrible cliché, but being in creative industries, for me, is a spiritual path.”
Flynn has been carving that path, guitar in tow, with a balance of wide-eyed enthusiasm and artistic curiosity. He has sought out company that emphasizes shared forms of creativity, whether onstage, on camera, or in the pubs and music nights of London’s early-Aughts folk scene.
Flynn is in London now helping produce English singer-songwriter Nick Mulvey’s album. We speak after a studio session with Flynn in a cab back to his London flat just after sunset, a small break from a schedule that has permitted him more time to his songwriting and the musical community that gave him so much of his identity. Flynn never left music, but he felt the need to slow down to give acting his full focus. “I hate having to rush a job because you need the space to say what you have to say with your fullest voice and as much confidence as possible,” Flynn says.
“Not being honest in those circumstances is my version of being sacrilegious or blasphemous. There’re lots of ways of doing something, but if you find a way that’s true, then you’re happy.
Several years ago, Flynn stopped touring in order to pursue a series of increasingly meaty acting roles, including a run at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre in the acclaimed, all-male Shakespearean troupe Propeller. Now Flynn’s about to have even less time, thanks to a breakout role in Song One, opposite Anne Hathaway, and the upcoming Olivier Assayas film, Clouds of Sils Maria, opposite Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart, and Chloë Grace Moretz.
In some ways, it has improved his songwriting. “I’m never going to abandon music,” Flynn says. “I was dragged back out to play shows here, and it was a good thing to be reminded that this is something I love doing.” Flynn’s friends did everything they could to “drag” him out for some gigs. It helps when your friends happen to be Mumford & Sons, who actually played one of their first performances opening for Flynn. “So many bands only get to write songs about the view from their hotel window, but I get to work with language and be inspired by that,” Flynn continues. “That seems invaluable as a song- writer. I am very grateful for that.”
To hear Flynn sing is not to see him. His solid build, tousled hair, and craggy features absolutely do not set you up for the lilting way his lyrics seem to fall and float out of him. His voice can crackle or rise sweetly into a falsetto, all while singing stories of small towns, large hopes, and even larger characters.
There seems to be a minor groundswell of British folk musicians waiting for Flynn to finish with all this acting business and get back to music full-time. But Flynn embodies a new creative state of mind, one that is not bordered by form— musician, actor, painter, poet—but one that applies considerable talents to tell better stories.
The story of Song One hews close to Flynn’s own. James Forester is a folk guitarist, resonator in hand, searching for inspiration. Forester, like Flynn, is exceedingly polite, a dewy-eyed talent capable of heart-grabbing honesty both onstage and off. “In terms of lifestyle and where his head is at, a lot of that stuff came from conversations with Kate [Barker-Froyland], the director, of what it was like to be a musician out on the road,” Flynn says. “I think he’s a character that is quite close to me, so I have to find a fine line. In real life, I’ve got a wife and a kid.”
Song One’s music went through a similar process; written for—but not by—Flynn, he used the songs as a way to find his character. “That’s what being an actor is about,” Flynn says. “You’re doing a good job if you’re serving the piece. It was quite a relief in a way to not have to worry about every aspect of the music. I think I enjoy giving up that leadership role for those situations.” The collaboration between Flynn and songwriters Jenny Flynn, Johnathan Rice, and Nate Walcott resulted in an album, which they recorded on weekends between shoots. Even though the songs are not Flynn’s, it’s hard to imagine anyone taking them from him. There is a stamp Flynn places on his projects, a vibration that is all his own.
In a way, Song One best captures the hell and catharsis of creativity. “You sometimes lose your way or you end up turning out the same stuff for a while, and before you know it you end up losing your inspiration, what put you there in the first place,” Flynn says. “And then you find it.”
What put Flynn there in the first place was an old book of hand-written folk songs and The Freewheeling Bob Dylan. Born in Johannesburg, Flynn moved with his family to Hampshire, England, when he was three. He earned a music scholarship, picking up violin and trumpet, but classes felt forced and dull.
“I learned to play the guitar using an old songbook of my mum’s that she’d handwritten, and it was full of traditional folk songs, songs that she loved,” Flynn recalls. “I got really obsessed with the Bob Dylan songs because they were really exciting to me. I was studying music as a music scholar, but I was listening to all of that stuff.”
Folk music has a tendency to take care of its own, and Flynn found himself mingling with the artists who would come to define the modern folk sound in its early London years. He and some friends established a music night, called Apocalypso, with fellow folk musicians Emmy the Great and Tom Hatred. “We played with people like Laura Marling when she was starting out, and Florence from Florence and the Machine when she was around,” Flynn says. “It was an early scene to be a part of in London at that time when I was forming my musical identity. When I was growing up, we didn’t have much money, but it was about finding something to do together.”
If Flynn found a musical family in Apocalypso, it was a mirror of his own upbringing. “My dad was writing songs in the Sixties and Seventies, and my mum sang songs and had been a folk singer in the Seventies,” Flynn says. “My older brothers are actors and keen on music. Yes, I guess, I loved hanging around backstage when my dad was doing shows. That atmosphere was what really infected me and made me want to become an actor. It seemed like this magical world of storytelling that my family was privileged to be involved in. Because I went away to boarding school, and I was studying classical music, my way of rebelling was to write my own music. I just fell in with a group of friends who liked to make music and were obsessed with studying the history as well, both American and British. Those are our heroes. It kind of took me over.
It was Emmy who initially introduced Flynn to resonator guitars. She had an old metal resonator lying around and Flynn took to it. “At one point I was crashing on her sofa and I was using her guitar a lot,” Flynn says. “I used it for a lot of bedroom recordings and things, and I fell in love with it.”
That guitar, with its odd metal heart, helped Flynn find his voice, a voice he is now rediscovering in film. “I think playing characters onstage and things like that has told me that you can take on various entities and channel your own voice through the habits of a certain character, the rhythm of someone else’s voice or using someone else’s language,” Flynn says. “But you still have to have your own heart in the middle of it.”
Song One is out January 23. Clouds of Sils Maria is out April 10.
Zachary Sniderman is the associate editor of The Last Magazine.
Styling by Celestine Cooney. Hair by Lee Machin at Caren. Grooming by Jenny Coombs at Streeters. Photographer’s assistants: Iain Anderson and Alec McLeish. Stylist’s assistant: Poppie Clinch. Digital technician: Mike Harris. Production by Lucie Mamont.
By
Zachary Sniderman
Photography by
Ben Weller
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haxballfan-blog · 4 years
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When You're Sad, Your Skin Is Sad
Correlation doesn't prove causation, but I can't help but notice that both times I’ve lived in my teenage bedroom I’ve felt especially sad. In high school, it was an angry sadness that sought attention. But when I came back to my parents house in March to ride out COVID, the sadness became deep and dull—about everything and nothing. I go to bed dreading the next day like it holds a big test I haven’t studied for. In the morning, I alternately jolt awake while it’s still dark, or tether myself to my comforter well into the workday. I’ve been very privileged in the ways I’ve experienced the past few months, but also very anxious. And actually, the CDC estimates that 40-percent of adults exhibit symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorders as of this past July. (In 2019, that number was 11-percent.) So, yes, I’m crying a lot more than usual; maybe you are too. I’m also breaking out more than usual—and you?
“Yes, stress causes you to break out,” says Dr. Amy Wechsler, who, as one of only a handful of doctors in the US board-certified in both dermatology and psychiatry, is uniquely qualified to answer questions about this kind of stuff—she even wrote the book on it. Dr. Wechsler cites a well-known study done on a college campus during exam week, where researchers found a strong correlation between stress and the severity of acne. “But exam period is like two weeks long, and when the exams go away the breakouts go away. Imagine if you had exam period for five months, you know? That’s like what we’re going through right now.”
According to Dr. Wechsler, the root of stress acne lies in a molecule called cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that’s pumped out by the body to fight illness, control blood sugar levels, regulate metabolism, and influence memory formation. In general it’s anti-inflammatory, but when you’re stressed, your body responds by producing more cortisol than it would normally as part of the fight-or-flight response meant to keep you alert when you need to be. If that stress is prolonged, and you don’t have the proper coping mechanisms to deal with it, cortisol starts to act very inflammatory.
“Inflammation is the root cause of acne, and eczema, and psoriasis,” says Dr. Wechsler, who also adds that high levels of cortisol over a long period of time will break down collagen, the molecule in your skin that keeps it looking plump. “That’s why when people are really stressed out for a while, they look like they aged overnight.” For a good, obvious example of this phenomenon, take a look at a photo of President Obama in his first year as president compared to his last. Cortisol also weakens your skin’s natural barrier, so you’ll start to experience more transepidermal water loss. Several months of anxiety may leave you with a totally different skin type: even if your skin is normally oily, it will start to dry out and get more sensitive. Dr. Wechsler notes that when your barrier is compromised, your skin is more likely to react to something that normally wouldn’t cause a problem. “That’s when people say things like, ‘I’ve been using the same product forever, they haven’t changed their ingredients, but now I can’t tolerate it.’”
The tricky part about cortisol is that once levels are high, it can be difficult to bring them down on your own. At minimum, you need to make sure you’re getting an adequate amount of sleep each night, which can be difficult when you’re feeling anxious. “Cortisol is at its lowest for everybody during sleep, and healing molecules like beta-endorphins, growth hormones, and oxytocin,” a mood enhancer, “are always at their highest,” says Dr. Wechsler, who compares the molecules’ relationship to a see-saw. If you’re not getting much sleep, you’re not giving the anti-inflammatories a chance to catch up to the cortisol.
During the daytime, you can sort of hack your body chemicals by engaging in activities that directly trigger a release of those happy molecules. Completing your skincare routine floods your brain with dopamine, otherwise known as the “feel-good neurotransmitter.” So would cooking a complicated dinner, or organizing your bedroom, or finishing a book. A workout can help balance too-low endorphins, a fact I always felt was fallacy until I experienced my first runner’s high a few months ago. Not into exercise? Pop on a John Mulaney stand up special—any will do!—for a rush of endorphins you don’t have to sweat for. And to raise your oxytocin levels, turn down the lights and grab your vibrator. Sex drive can lower when you’re depressed, but each time you orgasm your body releases cortisol-lowering, calm-inducing oxytocin.
Of course, these things won’t stop you from feeling anxious, but they might help you feel a little bit better on the day-to-day, and you also may see a difference in your skin. “When people are very anxious, they feel this loss of control over what’s going on in their lives, and normal routines fall by the wayside because they feel unimportant,” Dr. Wechsler explains. “A skincare routine gives you back a little control,” she adds, conceding that, at the very least, 10 minutes of caring for yourself will feel better than reading the news, or scrolling through Instagram.
The absolute easiest, low-effort way to help balance cortisol? For a sad person at least, it’s crying. Scientists aren’t quite sure how or why, but studies show that a good crying session decreases cortisol levels. It was once widely believed that tears were a way to expel excess stress hormones, but now, most researchers think that the benefits of crying have to do with social signaling: just getting out the message that you’re in distress seems to help alleviate some of that distress. And, if you’re crying to somebody, they’re likely to give you a hug, rub your back, or stroke your hair—all triggers for oxytocin.
But while crying is good for the skin internally, it can leave your face feeling… not so great. Which is the reason I called Dr. Wechsler in the first place—I wear my recent crying obviously, and am left frantically icing my face before morning meetings and check-ins with family. Beyond how I look, my post-crying face hurts. My eyes get incredibly puffy, and I often find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place when I cry at night. It happens, without fail, after I do my skincare routine, and I wasn’t sure whether the salty tears left on my skin were further contributing to breakouts. To make my outsides match my insides after a solid catharsis, I wanted to figure out a post-crying best practice—a sad girl beauty routine, if you will.
What I’d learn is that your eyes work overtime to produce tears, which draws an abundance of blood to the surface of your eyelids. If you cry at night, that blood doesn’t have anywhere to go—it pools in your face when you’re lying flat. “If you’re crying during the day and you’re standing up and walking around, gravity will take the swelling from your eyelids, bring it down your face, and flush it out,” adds Dr. Wechsler. For those particularly concerned about morning puffiness, you can stay upright until the swelling subsides, or try Dr. Weschler’s favorite method. “Put a teaspoon in a glass of ice water, let it get really cold, and then take the back of the teaspoon and put it on your eyelid with a little bit of pressure. Both the cold and the pressure really help those blood vessels calm back down,” says Dr. Wechsler, who learned the tip from one of her model patients. Doing that right away will probably help prevent morning puffiness, but if you aren’t feeling up to it, just go to sleep and try to keep your head elevated with an extra pillow. You can always try the spoon trick (and some vertical action) in the morning.
As for the tears themselves, Dr. Wechsler recommends rinsing them off to abate dryness. If you’ve cried within a half hour of doing your skincare routine, you can rinse with a gentle cleanser (or water, if you think another wash will be too drying) and re-apply your skincare products. Otherwise, just rinse and moisturize again.
Remember how I mentioned cortisol is difficult to lower on your own? If you’re experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression, you might also consider seeking out the help of a trained therapist. While it’s easy to ruminate on how we look on the outside, it’s important to emphasize that this skin issue is indicative of a larger, internal problem. Aside from the auxiliary benefit of helping balance your skin, talking to someone can help alleviate the feelings of loneliness, grief, and uncertainty you might be feeling right now. Therapy for Black Girls, the National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network, and Open Path Collective all offer remote therapy options at accessible price points. You might also check out Psychology Today’s list of therapists, which is quite comprehensive—you can filter results by things like specialty, sexuality, and race. If you’re a Black woman, you can also apply for a grant from The Loveland Foundation to subsidize your sessions.
Knowing that my skin is feeling as vulnerable as I am right now, I’ve been taking it easy with my skincare. And the benefit is twofold: nixing breakout treatments lets my skin actually heal, and using fewer products means I’m more likely to actually do my routine (even when I don’t feel like it). I’ve noticed new pimples subsiding after fortifying my compromised skin barrier with products rich in ceramides, natural moisturizing factors, and lipids. I’ve also been chasing opportunities to feel good as often as I can, masked and tiptoeing around the border of my own shrunken comfort zone. Still the breakouts, and the tears, come in waves. But then again, they always have.
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lifeincoronatimes · 4 years
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Zoom goes the dynamite
Life as we knew it changed when we returned from a week in Mexico on Mar. 8 to find that our city had been torn up by a tornado and that it had its first confirmed case of COVID-19. That first week back, I attempted to continue life as normal. Tuesday morning, I went to hear the Governor speak to the Nashville Chamber of Commerce and experienced my first experience in the new Corona virus world.    
It was raining, so I valet parked at the Omni Hotel where the event took place.  So did most of the other attendees.  While no explanation was provided, I assume that they were short staffed and it took an hour to get my car when the event ended.  I ended up in line next to a man who runs Gray Line Transportation in our region.  We had an interesting conversation about how the virus was affecting his business which was minimal at that point when there were only two Covid 10 cases in Davidson County.  (Note that it certainly changed in the weeks following and their business is now suspended until June.)
I left downtown for eSpaces, the shared office space where I work, to prepare for the Advanced Public Relations class I adjunct teach at Tennessee State University.  I grabbed lunch at Panera and went to campus to teach my class at 2:20.  A normal Tuesday.  
The class meeting in the time slot before mine appeared to be relatively well attended.  My class only has 11 students, mostly seniors and a few juniors.  It is a required class for all Integrated Marketing Communications majors (IMC). At 2:15 one student arrived early and was finishing a phone call while waiting for others.  She is working her way through school as a nanny and sometimes has to leave class for 15 minutes to pick up her ward and bring her back to class.  The kid is very well behaved and is only there for a short time. Not an ideal situation but I have learned to adapt.  
As I listened to her call, I determined the student had been sick, but had still gone to her nanny job in the morning to get the kid ready for school and dropped her off.  When she hung up, I asked her about her symptoms. It sounded to me like she had the flu – a few symptoms different that Covid 19.  I put on my “Jewish mother” hat and told her she needed to go to university health and then go home and to let the family she worked for know her situation.  Her response? “That’s what my mother said.”  By 2:25 she was still the only student there. When a second one arrived and heard the end of our conversation, he freaked out.  
“Did you come in the back door that I just used?” he asked her.  When she confirmed, he asked me if I had any hand sanitizer (which, of course, I did).  He sanitized and sat on the other side of the room.  By 2:30, a third student arrived.  I told them what I had planned to cover in class – which was to watch a series of videos and discuss what marketing goals they achieved.  I gave them the option of staying (except for the sick one who I told had to leave) or watching the videos on their own and submitting a written assessment of the goals. They chose the latter. I gave the three of them extra credit for showing up and we all went home.  
By the end of the week, the university decided to suspend all in person classes for the semester, send all the students home and shift to online teaching.  
I attended on online class on Saturday to learn how to teach online.  The school uses the Zoom platform.  I spent some time on Sunday and Monday preparing for the experience, including setting up some polls for them to vote on what goals each video achieved, setting up breakout rooms for them to virtually meet with their final project team to work on their final projects.  I practiced what I could without the class in attendance and felt prepared.  
When time for the class came, students slowly joined online.  Most who joined opted not to use the video option available, but just join by audio.  When we had seven of the 11, I started.  We had some discussion about where they were and how they were doing.  I did a test poll question about their final project to try out the system.  It all seemed to work.  
Then, we got into the class material.  I put up a slide listing some general marketing goals that videos can achieve. Then, on the next slide, I clicked on a link for the first video.  Two things then happened.  First, the students said they could hear the video but not see it.  I realized later that when I went to the link, it opened the video in a new window, which I should have gone to and enable screen sharing for them .  
Second, I was using my laptop via a wireless connection in my home office far away from my wireless modem, which must not have had enough juice to handle what I had open on the laptop and my computer froze.  
I texted the class, asking them to hold on.  I took the laptop to the other side of the house and rebooted.  To their credit, they all stayed online waiting.  When we were back up, I hadn’t figured out what the video problem was so we chatted a bit more about final projects and all agreed it would be best if I sent them the video links and they watched them on their own and submitted their assessment of the goals in writing.  
I subsequently participated in another online class and help session (which is how I determined by error with the screen sharing) and I think I am ready to try it again this week.
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jobethdalloway · 5 years
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I have never met a woman irl who exuded such an incredible big dyke energy and she gave me a ride on her motorcycle: a memoir
So I’ve been at this conference and I’ve met some absolutely incredible queer women. Like yesterday I went to a breakout session with maybe 40 of them including a good-sized group of lesbians in their 40s/50s, some of whom were in the process of getting divorced from their husbands in able to live their authentic lives. One such person was a woman I’ll call J, who just, wow. Bowled me over with the bde from the way she sat, talked, swung out her hand to shake yours. She has this great boisterous laugh.
I told her I thought she exuded the most incredible energy, like, this amazing gay vibe that I both loved and envied. She cracked a joke about how, being a mother of 6(!!) and living in a hick town she’d never have imagined getting to let her gay flag fly so high. I’m so glad she’s in a good place and that, in her words, the divorce is going very smoothly and it’s all good.
Anyway at some point in the session a stunning and wonderful femme woman talked about a time she was on a date and some drunk guy came up and said he wanted to go home with them. She laughed about returning to her truck later and seeing her coat draped over the seat and worrying for a second that this guy had somehow gotten into her truck to go home with them, and that turned into this recurring joke of the session, like, us all being so desperate just to be friends that we’d try to get into each other’s cars/trucks/whatever. 
That was something I ran with in particular and this morning J came over to me and was like “hey, how come I didn’t see you in my truck last night?” And I laughed and she goes “just kidding, just kidding. I came on my motorcycle anyway.” And I was like, “ha ha! I could try to sneak onto the back of it later, but I’m guessing it would be easy to hide.” She gave me like a dude-bro clap on the shoulder and said “You don’t have to sneak, I’d be happy to take you for a ride later if you want.” (I know how that sounds, but I am 98% sure she was not intending that to be an entendre.) I kinda just like laughed nervously bc she was staying for this closing picnic luncheon at the conference and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to yet. 
Turns out I did end up being able to stay, and J and I talked for a while before mingling with other folks and at some point I saw her walking away with a dude and I realized she was about to give him a ride home (which she had mentioned earlier) and I kinda hurried after them bc I thought she might be just dropping him off and then going home and I wanted to make sure I said goodbye. Y’all I saw her straddle that bike and all of “Ring of Keys” flew through my head.
“Hey, so where’s my seat?” I said as they got their helmets on. 
I’m not totally sure if she knew I was kidding, she just looked me and said, “I’m coming back after I drop him off. You can have his seat, if you want.”
And again I was kinda flustered and didn’t really know what to say so I just kinda giggled and was like “yeah, sure, maybe!”
Anyway she ultimately returned. I saw her talking on the phone and kinda made sure I was standing near people I didn’t know so that (hopefully) nobody would come talk to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her walking closer to me, still on the phone, until she stopped just a few feet away. She hung up and asked me - just so casually, so breezily, so whatever-ly - “so, how about that ride?” I guess I hadn’t really been sure if she’d been serious about offering, and I wondered if riding a motorcycle was something I really wanted to do (my uncle used to ride them and had some horror stories) so I kinda hemmed and hawed like “ooh, I dunno, I think my group is maybe leaving soon...” Whether it was that or she sensed that I was nervous, she said, “Just once around the block? If you want. No pressure.”
I decided it was something I couldn’t pass up so I followed her back to the bike (she laughed when I called it a hog) and she handed me a helmet and was telling me about how to make sure the straps were properly fixed and I was kinda like “oh man am i doing this wrong” so she helped me put on bc I’m a dumbass haha and I got on behind her and she revved it up and OH BOY
I hadn’t really been sure what to do with my arms because there was nothing on the back of the bike to hold onto so I just kinda grabbed her around the stomach like I’d seen her previous passenger do and I asked, “is this ok??” And she laughed and said “if I let that guy do it, I’m sure as hell gonna let you!” 
It was a short ride and kind of exhilarating. Okay, really exhilarating. She made a comment about the vibration being a good feeling and I’m pretty sure my laugh sounded like a dying goose. It was all nerve-wracking in a lot of ways. When we parked and got off and started walking back to the park I was kind of breathless and laughed about my legs feeling shaky and she goes, “Kinda feel like you need a cigarette, huh? That’s what [guy] said.” (The guy was gay btw, and I think they’re friends; he wasn’t being gross.) I laughed again, told her I was excited about what the coming year would hold for her post-divorce, and called her a stud which got a delighted laugh out of her. 
I’m writing this out and realizing I’m maybe making her sound more flirtatious than she actually was. I have no idea if we were getting/receiving the same signals? At the end of the day she’s on the precipice of a major life change and we live several states away from each other/she’s got a great support group nearby and it’s not like I developed huge feelings or anything. But I for sure felt a strong crush on her and I’m not gonna forget this amazing afternoon! If we lived closer I might have been like “hey can we go out” but like that’s not feasible and I’m totally fine/I’ll live, lol. It’s very likely I’ll see her a year from now at the same conference and I’m looking forward to hearing stories about all the women I’m sure she’ll have swept off their feet by then :)
(please don’t reblog? Not that anyone would. But like, please don’t. Just wanted to jot down this crazy awesome experience)
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