#it made me feel sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cowboylikeghost · 6 months

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wow it's been a while since i've felt this bad about being aroace

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joeallennotactually · 5 months

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TO WHOEVER I WAS PLAYING ARSENAL WITH YESTERDAY I ACCIDENTALLY ATE NAIL POLISH BY NOT REALIZING I HAD SPILLED IT ALL INTO MY FOOD AND THEN EATING SAID FOOD HOPE THIS CLEARS ANY CONFUSION

#arsenal #like the roblox game #roblox #roblox arsenal #nail polish #mistakes #woops #it made me feel sick #like I almost threw up thats why I had to leave lmao #it was not nontoxic #if I stop posting you know what happened #joe allen (not actually)#idk what else to tag

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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araekniarchive · 9 months

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@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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suntails · 20 days

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dance of dreams

#THEYRE SPINNIIIING THEYRE TWIIIIIRLING JUST LIKE IM TWIRLIIIING MY HAAAAAIR blink blink blink blink. hi :3 #im not taking back the :3 its how i feel dammit. its REAL RAW EMOTION u gotta accept it. en ee wayz #so 7.3 eng drop huh. yea so um. i . so u remember how the initial drop made me go insano mode and i drew 5 pieces in 4 days?#so it wasnt done. the second drop gave me one more to draw. its the THEM chapters its mals rage when hes like 'YOURE AWAKE??'#the TENSION!!! the DRAMA!!!! oh i am SICK my heart SKIPS!!! the two guys with dream powers fighting ougughh made just for me #made in a LAB for miss cartoons!!!!!! made in a lab for ME!!!!! silver's eye is a lil bit open if u look close. mal will find out soon #IM SICK SICK SICK SICK AND TWISTED MY BRAIN IS RATTLING LIKE A JUNKER CAR U BOUGHT AT 16 FOR 400 BUCKS #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #malleus draconia #the overblot fit still sucks to draw but goddammit ill do what i must. also yippee i dont hafta tag spoilers for once FGHJD #suntails

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wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt · 6 months

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I will never recover from the knowledge that thymoma generally has a very high survival rate, and in most cases that it becomes fatal, the patient has unknowingly lived with the cancer for years. There's a chance that Wilson was sick for half the series and didn't even know it.

#I'm just imagining House looking back at the last few years in horror thinking about the possibility that Wilson had been sick all along #I can see it leading to him feeling like all of their memories are tainted #House definitely blames himself as well even though it was never in his control #I can't imagine how much his already extreme self-hatred was amplified #And he probably looked back at all the mistakes he made and all the fights they had and realizing that -#- while they were having all these fights that now seem so trivial that Wilson was probably sick #They wasted all that time unknowingly with Wilsons cancer slowly progressing as they argued and fought #It makes me want to cry #I'm not a doctor and I know this obviously isn't always the case but from what research I've done this seems the be the standard mostly #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #wilson #housemd #favs #favourites

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expelliarmus · 2 months

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#mine #doctor who #dwedit #matt smith #and the skittles daleks #hello friends it's been a few days!!#fan expo weekend was very fun #except i also think i got food poisoning or something bc i was horribly sick yesterday #so i stayed home today from work but i feel so much better now #anyways today i read the scripts of the three 60th specials and they made me so happy :')#ALSO the announcement from big finish about dark gallifrey!!! very excited for that to start!!!!!

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thatoneluckybee · 5 months

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Going to break into your house with pots and pans and yell at you until you reframe your thinking of productivity to include more than just schoolwork or a salary or chores and the like.

Did you do a thing? Was there a positive result for you or someone else?

Congratulations, you did a Productivity!!!

You aren’t ALWAYS going to be able to have the energy to do what we consider traditionally productive. You won’t always have the motivation.

Yeah, maybe you could have spent two hours studying for that test instead of 15 minutes. Maybe you could have cleaned the kitchen instead of the dishes. And? That’s still something!

Productivity is doing things!! Did you eat food and drink water? You did something that helped your body work! Doodled in class? You made art! Even just posting theories and memes on tumblr dot com is a thing! You thought out the post, figured out how to organize it (even if you don’t realize you did that) and you made it! And now other people can see and you DID something and you should be proud!!!

Be proud of yourself or I am going to show up outside your window tonight and scream positive affirmations louder than a cat who has just discovered her food bowl is empty.

#ESPECIALLY if you are disabled or mentally ill or sick or neurodivergent or any of the like #For me with ADHD and oftentimes poor mental health I really struggle to be traditionally “productive”#And earlier today I was frustrated because I was having a difficult time finishing a school assignment.#But also?#I noticed and made a post about a parallel between comic panels.#I’m working on a long post analyzing specific quotes from Webtoon.#I got up and got a water bottle.#Is that not productive?#Does that not produce a result that I and others may enjoy?#y’all have GOT to acknowledge little victories because that took effort and THAT was productive and Im sosososososososososo proud of you!!#adhd #autism #neurodivergent #i dont know what all to tag this as so feel free to reblog with any tags you feel this applies to or apply to you in relation to this!!#productive #disability #actually autistic #actually adhd #rambles

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samijey · 4 months

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Jey Uso talks about the part Sami played in helping him transition to RAW

#sami zayn #jey uso #samijey #wwe #wweedit #jeysami #stuff i made #love/hate relationship........ i'm foaming at the mouth #NOT THE CANON COFFEE DATES #throwing myself into a well #wwe replaying their reunion segment over jey's voice talking about their dates was sick and twisted and i'm suing #CAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE COFFEE #i feel sick to my stomach excuse me

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warrior-cats-rewritten · 5 months

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Literally go fuck yourself.

https://archive.ph/2019.12.27-222825/https://erinhunter.katecary.co.uk/the-blazing-star-spoiler-page/comment-page-10/%23comments for if you wanna go read this for yourself and see.

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mommyhorror · 9 months

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I saw Barbie and didn’t hate it, enjoyed some parts immensely, but

THE KENS HAD ARMPIT HAIR. Why Greta ??? . Literally give me 1(one) reason why the male actors weren’t required to shave their armpits. They are playing plastic DOLLS. AND they wear little shorty shorts and do humiliating things because it’s supposed to kind of reflect how men treat women . At the very very very very very least they all should have been hairless aside from their heads. And honestly I would have glued down their head hair a bit more if I were in charge of HMU but anyways

of course the Barbies didn’t have armpit hair ! but of course not - Barbies don’t have armpit hair and neither do we expect to see adult women in film with armpit hair. BUT WHY NOT TAKE IT OFF THE KEN DOLLS?????

#It made me sick lol #I hate to look at a human body and be grossed out by something so natural #But this was implanted in me. The patriarchy as you said constantly in the film wants me to feel this way about my body #And now I find the sight of a Ken doll male actor w armpit hair GROTESQUE!! And I’m right #Get the fuck out of here etc

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ghostorbz · 27 days

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I made graphics instead of going to bed