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#it makes mE SAD I HATE IT

thinking about that video of the raccoon with the piece of cotton candy that he puts it in the water and it dissolves and he looks so sad and confused. brb gonna go bawl my eyes out.

#that video makes me so SAD !, #i love animals so much it makes my heart hurt, #in psych we’re studying developmental psychology and there was this really old study someone did before it was deamed unethical, #where they took baby monkeys away from their moms as infants and put them in cages alone and gave one a plastic ‘mom’ with a milk bottle and, #one a cloth ‘mom’ and one had no mother figure at all, #and the ones with the plastic moms and cloths moms chose the cloth moms with no milk over the plastic ones with milk which shows that we, #inherently value and seek comfort and love over food, #and the one that was alone would just lay in a corner all day and was so sad and scared over everything, #IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY ITS SO SAD, #and we have to watch a whole documentary on the study and i hate it, #i want to reach into the screen and pull the lonely baby moley out and hug it and give it back to its mom, #god its so sad and like the moms lost their babies too :((, #that also reminds me of that one video of the cat whos kitten passed away and she would cry for it all day and her owner sewed a little, #kitten for her and the cat would cuddle the kitten, #like !!! oh my god !! animals deserve everything in the entire world and i cant wait to be rich one day so i can buy a bunch of property and, #rescue animals and give them a loving home, #god i cant wait ! thats the dream baby, #anyways sorry fo the sad tags ! i just love animals so much and they make my heart ache !, #have a nice day ! and dont think about the poor little raccoon that lost their cottoon candy !, #thank was a note to self but also to you <3
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i feel that SO much honestly! like. as much as it’s awful, we can’t do shit about it. it exists. it unfortunately exists, and bc its fanwork, it has a right to exist. 

it won’t stop me from blocking blogs that post reed900 content, or just.. like generally hating the shippers MSDKLFSD but! as you said, i have met some good people who ship it. and because they’re good people, i try not to let it change my opinion of it! even if i do fucking want to die everytime i see reed900 related stuff from them and need to bleach my dash KLSDFJSD

but that’s less them, and more the content in general! cos as a general rule of thumb that i learnt from rping, hate the character, not the rper. or in this case, hate the ship, not the shipper.

tho.. i will ALWAYS hate SOME certain types of them lmao

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Tw vent in the tags

Uhhh tw suicidal thoughts and all that stuff like it, like depression, uhh and all that stuff

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literally yesterday:

grandma: go to sleep child

me: aight just wait a sec gotta brush me teeth

(not even 5 seconds later)

grandma: hey go feed the dog

me: you just told me to go to sleep but okay

grandma: (annoyed) alright then, so go to sleep.

me: (voice cracking) okay?

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〣( ºΔº )〣

#trying to keep a restraint on G is sometimes difficult.. especially when I sorta agree with her for once, #I mean I know my whole duty is to protect and comfort the system too! and part of being happy and healthy, #is having healthy connections with others. loving ones. and Hannah loves her friends, #I fucked up one thing already for her and so I feel conflicted on whether or not to listen to her and help keep a hold on G, #so that she doesn't end up making a new rule and we gotta be isolated again.., #but we can both see how sad she is! and I'm not going to talk about her feelings for her I learned my lesson, #but I just can't stand to watch her be so sad.. and to watch G be so sad.. and to watch the children be so sad, #because they were so happy Hannah was making friends and theyd, #listen to us talk about them and then talk amongst themselves so excitedly.. but as soon as something that made them feel scared happened, #it was right back to the same 'i need to be alone!! we need to go away!!' from those little guys., #which isnt surprising.. most of them fragmented because of bullying so negative social experiences hurt them, #thats why they arent allowed to front around other people because that is dangerous, #but for Hannah to be so upset that G ended up calmly handling the situations and then immediately making a new rule, #that if anyone were to hurt her further then she's going to cut off all our friends and we can just start over? it's. it's a mixed bag here, #I understand WHY she chooses isolation as the solution. I don't agree with it. Hannah doesn't want it either so I refuse to let it happen, #but.. it also makes Hannah sad to talk now!! again!!!!!!! and it makes ME sad to keep messing up every time I talk around people when she, #can't respond.. and I feel so distrustful. I just feel distrustful. I don't know why, #is it a response to how the children feel - wanting to protect them from feeling that way and thus eliminate the potential, #for it to happen more? Is it a response to how Hannah and G are so paranoid right now?, #or am I judging character correctly..? I don't know! I hate making assumptions. I wish I could make a flow chart but I don't, #have our computer set up. Oh! maybe I'll do that and Hannah can make that gift she promised!, #that might cheer her up! making breakfast with Carmel & I certainly did too! 💕
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