#it makes me feel like love is real

[muppetfreak]

Mr. Riordan, it is truly a pleasure getting to experience your second draft.

#seriously tho what an amazing thing for an author #to get to revisit your series years later #and get to make all the tweaks now that you know exactly where the story is going #to go back with your theme crystalized in your head and say 'ok now this time on purpose!' #kiddo and I are enjoying the PJO series immensely #love demigods #wish adhd was real #now excuse me while I add 9 billion tags #percy jackson #pjo tv show #pjo #rick riordan #percy jackson and the olympians #disney+ #pjo series #percy jackson tv show #does this need to be tagged as a spoiler? I don't feel like it does #the suggested hashtag being spelled wrong is just *chefs kiss* #love that for us #anyway if this needs another tag tell me

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[merrigel]

I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward

#artists on tumblr #animation #in stars and time #isat #illustration #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #like for real #anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime #shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal #literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO #if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT #heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like #bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs! #Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!! #can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO #so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me #fanart #pic

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him. #it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself #note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown #when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’ #idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is #and how much his persona is more an actor #Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out- #every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so #since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it #and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are #I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja #his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times #not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo #but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters #or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas) #like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily #it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do #like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero #All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius. #and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential #likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja #but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse #he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it #Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like #you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2 #and i was like hm hope im not too offbase #but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’ #I WAS SICK #ineffable husbands #<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me #good omens #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ur girl watches good omens #experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow #im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real #i just bought the book and i am about to devour it #lol another update #the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT #i was GOING THROUGH IT… #and when i think abt them for too long i still am

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - The World That Never Was

#kingdom hearts dream drop distance #khddd #the world that never was #scenery #my gif #i really love how sora's side of this world is dark and eerie and fully leans into how dreams can distort and twist reality #the city looks mostly normal at first aside from the ghostly fog that seeps down from buildings and drifts along the floor and rises up #but as you keep going the ground beneath you is no longer a street but rather the faces of more buildings that stretch over an abyss #it's no longer the sprawling city you first arrived in but instead an uncanny one way path towards your destination #the buildings now twist and contort and are crooked and grow out of the ground in all kinds of ways that make no logical sense #it's the first time that a sleeping world looks easily distinguishable from the real world. it looks wrong. like a nightmare #meanwhile riku's half contrasts heavily by appearing to be fairly normal #the interior of the real castle never made any practical sense so nothing here feels too out of place compared to how it usually looks #it shows how much more in control riku is in comparison to how sora is losing his grip on reality as he descends further into their trap #cool stuff! love me some environmental storytelling #also i finished giffing every world in this game yippee i'm done (is covered head to toe in blood)

[redysetdare]

Thinking abt how so many characters in media who canonically state that they don't like people touching them constantly have their boundaries broken and are forced into hugs by other characters and every single time they are shown to be upset it's supposed to be a flaw that they need to overcome until they just are forced to accept/like it.

#text #touch averse #no wonder ppl assume the same of real ppl #everyone wants to think of themselves as the acception as the one who will fix you and make you like hugs #i hate that. i hate you media who have characters with touch aversion as a flaw #we need more characters who are just touch averse and people accept that #no acceptions no 'growth' no 'fixing them' or 'making them love hugs' nothing. #only thought abt this becuz im rewatching kipo and it bugs me so much that wolf tells kipo to not hug or touch her #and kip just responds with 'deal with it' and then later on wolf is suddenly fine with hugging and repeats kipos line #it feels so wrong because it was a blatant disrespect of boundaries that was played off as a good thing

[anodymalion]

The hero's sword arc of Frieren is only a single chapter but it's probably the chapter I think about the most... You have the classic sword in the stone that can only be pulled by the hero who is destined to save the world. So of course Himmel, the legendary hero, is the one who freed it.

Except: he didn't. He failed. He couldn't pull the sword from the stone. He wasn't the prophesied hero who would save the world.

And he went, okay, well, people really need a hero right now. So I'll just pretend to be one anyway. It doesn't really matter if I'm a fake or not if either way we're helping people.

And he did. He was a pretend hero. And they saved the world.

And now eighty years later there is no one left to remember that he never pulled the sword from the stone at all. It's easier to believe that he did, because he saved the world, so he must have been the destined hero. But he wasn't. The sword saw him and rejected him, and he simply went on anyway, because he wanted to help people, and that's what it takes in the end to be a hero, really. The four of them saved the world, and the true hero's sword sits quietly in a cave somewhere, rusting away, forever, unneeded.

#it's the final frieren friday how are we feeling gang #can you tell I'm being really normal about it #that line 'future generations always romanticize heroes to the point that their original nature eventually disappears' DUDE it kills me #that frieren is the only one who remembers what the real party was like while the rest of the world has constructed an image of them to love #there's a youtube video called 'himmel was a real hero' by DeusExMakina it's only 2 minutes long and every time it makes me tear up #sousou no frieren #frieren analysis

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish #Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it. #The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic. #And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core. #Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently- #come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt #and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people. #So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'. #The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there? #The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible #He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg) #''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.'' #Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts. #ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[vaguely-concerned]

I'm playing through Dragon Age 2 again and I just can't get over how... idk how to say it exactly, but the way you feel, in every moment of this game, how much Varric loves Hawke. It feels entwined with everything, it breathes through every part of the narrative, it blooms diegetigally through the integration of story and gameplay, makes you a co-conspirator in that love in a way maybe only a video game could.

It's in the way I don't think this story is a defense of Hawke only -- or even primarily -- directed at Cassandra, but at Hawke themselves. Beneath everything else going on there's the quiet, utterly unshakable refutation of Hawke's worst fears: Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered? . . . You're a failure, and your family died knowing it. Rising through the story as Varric tells it there's a fiercely tender voice saying: Yes, you did matter. In tragedy or in triumph, for better or for worse, in love or in hate, you always mattered. The ultimate tragedy of Hawke is always right there in the open before the story even starts letting you in on telling it; they couldn't fix anything. They couldn't stop the downward spiral Kirkwall was set on -- the real truth is that no one person ever could. And yet the point of DA2 is that it matters that they tried, and it matters that there were people who loved and were loved along the way, however badly it all failed in the end. Hawke is the Bioware protagonist who succeeds the least, and they're the character who matters the most, to me. (This is also why the Absolution reveal did not shake me in the least haha, my love for Hawke has nothing at all to do with whether they succeeded or failed at anything.)

What Varric is saying, in the only way he seems to be able to say the really real things -- through stories -- is so simple and so fundamental. You were here, and I loved you. There's the emotional heart of it, at the end of it all, that love and grief and recognition. It's so dizzyingly intimate. There's so much distancing, layers upon layers of obfuscation, to be able to say it. It drives me insane!!!! It makes me feel the same way that 'Poem' by Langston Hughes does:

I loved my friend.  He went away from me.  There's nothing more to say.  The poem ends,  Soft as it began,— I loved my friend. 

He loved his friend. They went away from him. What more is there to say. (Many, many, many things, when you're a compulsive liar and storyteller, but hey sometimes you have to deploy a whole armada of lies to tell one simple truth, I understand, I'm a writer too lol)

#dragon age #varric tethras #dragon age 2 #dragon age meta #hawke #on second thought let's not go to kirkwall; it is a silly place #when merrill says she just says 'I love Hawke' to herself because it's the only thing in the world that makes sense sometimes... #varric clearly Felt That lol #how can I have played this game so many times and still have such intense feelings about this. help. the unreliable narrator got to me ok #dragon age absolution spoilers #it's real vague but let's be safe. anyway meredith can come back idc. the dragon from the bone pit could come back. #Hawke could keep falling on his face forever and I'll still be out here like 'You're doing amazing sweetie don't worry ;____;' the whole wa

[finngualart]

im gonna write my thoughts about this in the tags

#look it makes me real nervous when actors interact with fanart i made #i feel a little less nervous when it comes to mr o'neill bc its clear he enjoys all this and shares fanart that is much hornier than this #i made and posted this drawing nearly 1.5 years ago so my man must have dug a bit to find it <33 #and of all art i made of izzy i kind of wanted him to see this one the most #bc i love this character and i see his suffering and i want him to be freeee #and this was an exploration of what that sense of freedom would look like on him #(also an excuse to draw his chest hehe) #hope mr o'neill appreciated it!@!!!!! #despite the initial shock of seeing his name pop up in my notifs #im so pleased haha #i love him1!!!! #ofmd #izzy hands #con o'neill

[cosmichawk]

It's that time of year again so here are xmas harbingers edits by yours truly

bonus:

#unfortunately signora passed away last xmas bc of her recklessness with the fireworks :'((((( rest in peaces queen <3 #scara was blamed for it so he is not on this party either :( #pierro looks so upset bc he knows once this is over he will be the one to clean zapolyarny palace up #maybe arle and cap will help if they're sober enough #also bc someone used party popper near him and now there is confetti in his food #pantalone looks like someone who will wear tinsel around their neck like let's be real #cap loves string lights trust me bro i'm his armor #removing pulchinella's hat and editing sandrone's robot was... fun #i don't like the one w/ arle bc unlike others it's close-up of her face #it ruins aesthetic!! #however face that arle makes is so me #feel free to use #tho i have no idea where the fuck you would use robot santa #this is my magnum opus i won't be able to create anything better than this #genshin impact #fatui harbingers #fatui #pierro #capitano #dottore #columbina #arlecchino #pulchinella #sandrone #pantalone #tartaglia #ch - shitpost

[utterdrip]

here to post an Opinion and a Video

i used to agree with the idea that astarion never really felt Anything for the PC until at least act 2. but now that im multiple playthrus in and had this dialogue, im not sure that’s the case any longer. idk he tries to make a joke, but even he realizes it doesn’t land, so then he becomes honest. like, honest to the point that i thought we only saw in his confession scene in act 2. idk how to explain it but it feels much more genuine than i’m used to seeing in act 1.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #frankie posts #astarion #astarion acunin #bg3: vid #idk if this is making sense but id love to hear others opinions too #because like #idk it feels extremely genuine to me #even his ‘die of a broken heart’ comes out Too Real #idk idk idk

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is #i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good #it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them! #it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive #tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little #irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny #and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately #reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women #who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music' #to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their #personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny #i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit #among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me. #but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere #from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy #anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem #but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in. #anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3 #taylor swift

[geminison]

Smile and wave tactic doesn’t seem to work on your new coworker, Darling, gotta come up with something else

I’m not yet that far into the game to know everything about these guys and their shared history but a scene where quirky yet manipulative scientist is unsuccessfully trying to befriend a field agent whose suspiciousness helps him survive seemed like a funny idea to me

#control 2019 #control remedy #dr darling #zachariah trench #casper darling #art tag #i love darling. he feels like a cat ready to push a glass off the table #I’m not evil but I’m a bit nasty and always get what I want type of way #trench is max payne iteration. idk how to feel about it #he makes me sad #Sam ‘I like the one OC so much I’m gonna put a slightly different version of him into every project I make’ Lake #so real dude.