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tinyclownhours · 2 months

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Human Hermit Crabs

I turned the silly little prompt I sent to @so-very-small into a full fic. Enjoy :)

Summary: Human gets abducted by giant aliens and sold as a novelty pet in an intergalactic souvenir shop, only to be rescued by a rugged space explorer.

Word Count: 5781

Cw: Abduction, dehumanisation (it's nothing too bad, but the MC is seen as a pet/object by the other aliens), mentions of death and humans being sold as pets/objects.

An apex predator. That is what Henry had lived his entire life believing he was. Everyone knew humans were on top of the food chain. Even in situations where they were wildly outmatched in pure strength, it was their intelligence that kept them on top. The only one who could realistically hurt him was his own kind, he had thought. As long as he kept his head down, he could get by without trouble. Oh, how foolish he had been…

He was curled up at the far end of the glass cage, leaning against the cold wall as he breathed in a shallow manner. He was cold, and he was shivering ever so slightly. Every now and again a giant figure would glide past the outside of his cage, browsing all of the curiosities the shop had to offer, him included…

He thought back to that day, the 15th of October. The day when his perception of reality had been utterly shattered. It was a crisp autumn evening and Henry had been strolling around on a walk out by the countryside where he lived. There was rarely anyone out where he walked. Maybe that’s why they chose him…

He still remembered the feeling of being sucked up into the air, the feeling of his stomach dropping while he looked down at the ground becoming smaller and smaller below him until he was swallowed up by the sky. Or at least he thought. The pure terror and panic were still fresh in his mind, as he looked around the gigantic spaceship that he’d been beamed up into. He had seen the giant alien smirk down at him, roughly grabbing his body in his callus fist while he inspected him. Henry felt his stomach turn as he thought back to how the giant poacher had looked over him after putting a metal collar around his throat, calling him a “beautiful specimen” before carrying him off and throwing him into a crowded cage full of other humans, all of them equally confused and terrified.

He remembered how horrific it had been initially, being sold as some sort of tiny novelty pet in this intergalactic souvenir shop. He was trembling almost if not every waking hour of the day, and would freeze up anytime someone walked past his cage. Rush hour was hell for him… Nowadays he was too exhausted to even lift a finger. Most customers took note of his sickly appearance, being so pale and thin he looked like he was one second away from crumbling into dust. Which he supposed was good, since most of them lost interest in him after a few seconds of inspection. It seemed like all of them knew. All of them knew he didn’t have long. And why buy a pet that you knew wasn't going to make it? He never bought those scrawny and off-colored goldfish at the pet store when he was a child. No one did, why would they? If it wasn’t for the fact that he was dying, he might’ve seen the cosmic irony of him ignoring those goldfish as a child only to feel some sort of comradery towards them now.

He was the last human left in the cage, all of his other fellow captives had either been sold off or passed away due to the horrid living conditions they’d all been exposed to for the last month. Unfortunately for Henry, he had been a stubborn one, as the owner of the shop commented quite frequently. It was clear he was just waiting for Henry to disappear so that he could order a fresh batch of captives to abuse with horrible housing.

The cage was small and made entirely of glass which stripped away any privacy any of them could’ve gotten. There wasn’t any padding or places to sleep comfortably. Besides, even if they did have someplace to sleep, the clunky metal collars made it a little hard to get comfortable. They had been provided with some sort of strange wood shavings on the cage floor, which quite possibly couldn’t have been any more itchy and uncomfortable. Any food they were provided with seemed deprived of any hint of nutrients and only provided Henry with temporary relief by filling his stomach with something to quell the searing pain of hunger. Lastly, they were put through so much distress, with the top of their cage being completely open for all of the shop's open hours, meaning that anyone could pick them up and manhandle them as they pleased in order to figure out if they liked the tiny human or not.

In the beginning, Henry had suffered quite a lot of stress at the (literal) hands of the shop's customers. A lot of them had been kids, or so he assumed, considering they were smaller and much less delicate with how they handled the poor humans. Henry had witnessed one too many of his fellow merchandise be dropped from tens of feet up in the air by those clumsy monsters. Some were quote-on-quote fine, getting lucky and only breaking a few bones. Others died upon impact. Although, Henry was starting to wonder which ones were actually the lucky ones…

Other times there were the odd tourists who walked in and were fascinated by the cage of humans. Most of them were quite handsy, pulling and playing with each one of their limbs as if they were just dolls. Of course, tourists are just what Henry called them. They were all bulky giants with what seemed to be purple scales and multiple eyes spread across their entire body. They were all just loud and quite frankly, too curious for his liking. It reminded him of the horror stories he’d read online by people recalling their experiences with obnoxious tourists… But he supposes that it was through them that he learned what the metal collars were for. There was a sign taped onto the side of the cage that read “Translator included!”, which many of them would read aloud and then condescendingly speak with them and try to get them to repeat words to them. Henry wasn’t quite sure why they were given translators. He wasn’t complaining of course, this whole ordeal would have been a thousand times worse if he hadn’t gotten a helpful (if a bit rude) explanation from the store owner as to what was going on when he first came into the store. However, he didn’t understand the appeal of a pet that could speak. Wouldn’t it feel weird to have a pet that could share its honest opinions with its owner? Surely they couldn’t think they enjoyed being here and would act like small puppy dogs once they brought them home? Henry wasn’t sure considering the way so many of them spoke to their purchased goods while leaving the store, all while ignoring their screaming and crying with soft coos and laughter. Maybe they were all sadists and didn’t care. It sure seemed like they didn’t.

His least favorite was the obnoxious teenagers that would come in, pick up and touch every single one of them, taking photos, tapping the glass, and being generally insufferable. A week or so ago a group of them came in and tried to get Henry’s attention. When he didn’t react to whatever they were doing, one of them grabbed the edges of the cage and started shaking it.

But luckily, he didn’t have to deal with that now that he barely had any energy to move. Now that he was weak and unresponsive, he wasn’t entertaining anymore. Safe to say, Henry knew that they knew that he didn’t have much time left. On particularly desperate days he considered begging one of them to take him with them. He could try to perform his role as a souvenir if it meant getting out of there and maybe getting a shot at living life. But how good of a life was he really going to live if this was the standard?

Henry was pulled out of his thoughts as the shop owner walked by. He looked down at him with a scowl, eyebrows knit together as he picked up the full food bowl inside of the cage. He sighed in annoyance and walked away with it, presumably going to throw away the old pellets and replace them with new ones. Not that it mattered in Henry’s eyes. They were always dry and disgusting, and he wasn’t eating any longer.

He looked around the store, since his cage was placed at the very back he had a comfortable view of the entire thing. Despite being only one room, it was huge from his perspective, larger than a big football arena. Today seemed slower than usual. There were barely any customers. Three to be exact. A couple looking at some novelty junk, and a man at the end of the store. Was it a man? Henry wasn’t quite sure about alien biology, especially considering none of them looked to be the same species. Come to think of it, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that type of alien before. He kept a small list in his head to pass the time, and there were a couple of regularly reoccurring species that came through, some of the less common ones, and then there were wildcards like the man in the back.

His skin was dark, and he had large pointed ears. His eyes were sharp and yellow, and unlike the store owner and most of the regular aliens, his eyes sat at the front of his face, rather than the sides, just like Henry himself. It’s funny. He almost looked a little human if it weren’t for some of his more alien-esque features. From where Henry was sitting, he actually didn’t look half bad for a horrifying gigantic alien. His eyes seemed so cold and hyper-focused… And that’s when Henry realized, much to his horror, that the giant had been eyeing him, staring at him intensely. And Henry had been staring back.

He quickly averted his gaze, feeling his heart skip a beat as a small dose of adrenaline rushed through his veins for the first time in what felt like forever. That was… Weird. Why did he react like that? He didn’t think he had the energy to fear these creatures any longer. But something about him was making Henry nervous. Really nervous. Maybe it was the aliens' new and darker appearance. Maybe it was the way he seemed taller than most of the other aliens he had encountered. Maybe it was that cold stare… Or maybe it was the fact that forward-facing eyes only belonged to predators. Henry didn’t know. But something about him didn’t feel right. He turned to glance back at him only to bite his tongue and let out a muffled yelp as the alien now towered over his cage. Somehow, in the span of a couple of seconds, he had walked from the back of the store all the way to the cage in the front.

His eyes seemed to drill into Henry as he looked and inspected him. Henry had an even better look at his face from this angle. He could see that the alien looked more reptile-like than most, having two small slotted holes where his nose should be and his pupils were narrow slits rather than round balls like humans had. Henry looked up at him with his tired eyes. Usually, he would look away and be unresponsive to disinterest whatever customer had their eyes on him, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the alien.

He must’ve looked so pathetic. Small, and exhausted. Having to lean up against a corner to keep himself up. He hadn’t looked in the mirror in quite a while but he could only imagine how messy his hair must’ve been, how heavy the eyebags under his eyes must’ve gotten, and he didn’t even want to think about how pale and delicate he must’ve looked with how little he had been eating. For whatever reason, Henry felt ashamed. Like he was falling short under the judging eyes staring down at him.

Suddenly, Henry caught the slightest twitch of one of the aliens' long ears. He could see his eyes widen slightly for just a second, before he quickly walked off to a nearby shelf, looking at the different merchandise. It was only then that Henry picked up on the footsteps approaching his cage. He could see the store owner walking out with a new bowl of kibble and a basket of cleaning supplies. It was time for him to clean the cage. Henry prepared himself mentally as the store owner reached into the cage and pulled him out. The feeling of his leathery hands enveloping his tiny body made his skin crawl. Luckily it didn’t last long since the store owner quickly set him down into a separate open plastic box on the register counter. He then turned around to the cage and began the process of cleaning it.

Just then, Henry saw the couple leave the shop and the reptilian man turned back around and faced him. He looked back to the shop owner, who had just emptied all the wood shavings and was scrubbing the cage clean, before looking back at Henry. After a few seconds, he swiftly approached the plastic container. It was truly impressive to see just how swift and soundless he was when he walked. Henry looked up at him with uncertainty and a small frown, and he swore he could see the man’s eyes soften just a little bit. He was lying on his side, too weak and shaky to try and crawl away from the descending hand that soon covered his entire vision. His breath hitched slightly when he felt the surprisingly soft fingers gingerly wrap around his sides before pulling him up and out of the plastic container.

He didn’t know if this alien was extremely confident in his ability to go unnoticed or if he was just stupid, stealing a human mere feet away from the store owner. He debated making any sort of noise, but at this point, he honestly couldn’t be bothered by what would happen to him. He could die at the hands of a mysterious stranger or in a glass pet cage… One of those felt at least more dignified and less pathetic, and it also came with the possibility of not dying, depending on this alien’s intentions.

He felt the warmth of the man’s hand envelop him, between that and the soft padded insides of the jacket pocket he was placed into, this was the most comfort he’d been provided with for weeks. He could feel the giant shift around, probably walking to exit the store. He was afforded a small window to the outside world through the pocket opening, and could see some of the other shitty products that lined the store walls as they walked out. However, his sight was robbed of him as the alien's hand once again blocked his view. Henry tensed up as it got closer, only to feel it gently cover him. At first, he was confused until he heard that voice he had despised for weeks.

“Have a great day, we hope to see you again soon!” It was so loud and near. They were walking past the store owner. Henry tensed up as he realized this, and the giant could probably tell since he started to stroke his back with his thumb oh so gently. Henry couldn’t help but melt into the touch. By all means, he should be terrified. He had just been kidnapped… again. But is it really kidnapping if you get kidnapped away from a kidnapper??? Or would that be more of a rescue? Henry supposed it all had to do with the giant's intentions. He could be planning to torture and kill him for all he knew. But right now in this moment, he was handling him like he was the most delicate thing in the world, and that tenderness was something Henry needed desperately after three whole weeks of rough manhandling.

“Have a good day to you as well.” The giant spoke, Henry felt his breath hitch again as his heart skipped a beat. His voice was deep and velvety, he swore he could almost feel the base all the way down from his pocket. He felt the alien speed up a little once they were out of the store. He had stopped stroking Henry’s back and was now speed-walking somewhere. After a short while he sped up further, breaking into a jog. Henry let out a small yelp as the hand now enveloped him, still careful but holding him in place. It wasn’t before long that he could hear the sound of a mechanical whirring followed by air pressure and steam release, most likely a spaceship door opening. Henry’s suspicions were confirmed when he felt them walk upwards, probably on a ramp. He could see some hints of LED lights peeking through the gaps in the pocket opening and soon enough he was pulled out.

Henry was set down in what appears to be the ship cup holder. The alien was using both hands to tap on buttons and pull levers that Henry could not begin to understand. Soon enough, the ship engine roared, and with the slow and precise pull on what appeared to be the startup leaver, the ship started taking off. Henry let out a small noise of displeasure when the alien suddenly covered the cup holder with his palm. However, Henry was thankful for it when only a mere second later, after pressing a button, the ship blasted off as if instantly and Henry’s body jerked backward. He probably would have fallen out of the cup had he not been covered.

The ship soon smoothed out into an unnoticeable yet fast speed. The alien slowly uncovered said cup holder and placed his hand on the wheel. Henry looked up at the giant and fiddled with his fingers. They were alone now… What should he do? Should he say hi? Why was this so awkward all of a sudden?!

The air was tense as none of them seemed willing to make the first move… The reality of what had just happened was starting to settle into Henry. Had he just left the safety of the store for some stranger? Dread started to seep into his stomach as he wondered what this giant was possibly planning to do with him.

Said Giant soon pressed another button on the spaceship panel before turning to look at Henry. He could probably see just how scared Henry was, considering his eyes once again softened just a little too much.

“Hey…” He spoke, and it shook Henry to his core. Just then, sitting curled up in the cup holder, having this gigantic alien looming over him after having taken him so effortlessly, Henry felt truly small. Almost insignificant. As if nothing he could say, do, or think was worth anything. He remembered when he thought he was on top of it all, that there wasn’t any predator that could harm him as long as he remained smart, only to find out that he was deemed as so uínsignificant that he was sold as a fucking novelty product… The alien above him could crush and dispose of him within a second, like how he would trap and dispose of mice and vermin that invaded his home back on Earth. He wondered if this was how they felt moments before he handed them over to the local pest control. His heart wept for them, for now, he knew just how it felt to be small.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as the giant slowly reached out and started stroking his arm with the back of his finger. Henry looked into his eyes only to see none of the previous sharpness, but rather nothing than affection and softness. “You’re okay… It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’m not gonna hurt you, alright?”

…

Looking down at the tiny human sitting in his cup holder, it was evident that he was terrified. The poor thing was shaking, and his eyes were wide as pinpricks. He hadn’t done this in quite some time, not since he was a teenager. And even though it was a little messed up, seeing the shivering tiny almost brought Kazurix some sort of nostalgia. Most if not all of them reacted this way initially. And in the less extreme cases, Kazurix thought their little shaking forms were quite cute.

He continued to stroke to the little guys arm as gently as he could. The human was curled up, but it was quite clear he didn't have the strength to curl up completely. Just how malnourished was he? It was evident from his sickly appearance that he, like most humans, hadn’t been taken care of very well. His skin was pale, eyes tired, and his blonde hair was tangled and matted. As soon as he’d calmed the human down, he’d get something to eat. They’d have to start slow, with some liquid food to not overwhelm his stomach, but after that, they’d gradually be able to make their way into actual food. It’s a good thing Kazurix always kept liquid food on him. As much as he told himself he’d stop doing this, he always kept some emergency rescue supplies.

He looked down at the trembling human. He didn’t seem to be rejecting the physical touch. That was a good sign. But he wasn’t responding either. The alien took a deep breath and tried something a little more direct.

”What’s your name?” He asked, prompting the little human to speak. He had to show that he wasn’t a threat to him. He could see his eyebrows knit together as he processed the question. He seemed hesitant for a few seconds, but Kazurix remained patient.

“…H-Henry…” The tiny squeaked out. Kazurix's heart almost melted. He had forgotten just how attached he got to these guys. He smiled softly, being careful not to show his teeth.

“It’s nice to meet you, Henry.” He spoke, continuing to stroke Henry’s arm. “My name is Kazurix. But you can call me Kazu if the full name is too hard to pronounce.” The way he said his full name wasn’t even really how you said it, he had to simplify the phonemes a lot since most humans couldn’t pronounce it. Henry nodded at him. Every movement he made seemed to take so much effort on his part.

“Do you want something to eat? I have some nutrient paste that should give you some energy back without being too much for your stomach to handle.” He reassured him, standing up from his seat. His ear twitched as he picked up on the small gasp that had escaped the human once he stood up. He crouched down in front of the cup holder to be a little more on the human’s level, while still keeping a little bit of a distance from him to give him some space.

“I… I-I…” The human, Henry, started before resorting to a simple nod. Kazurix nodded back at him.

“Alright. I’m going to pick you up now. I’ll be careful.” He warned before snaking his hands underneath and behind the human. He gingerly scooped the tiny one up into his palms. He was lying there, looking up at Kazurix with those big eyes. At least they weren’t as wide as before. Now they were back to those tired, sad doe eyes that had single-handedly convinced Kazurix to take the human with him. He walked over to the small kitchen space on the ship and put Henry on the counter. He propped him up against the wall, ensuring he wouldn’t fall to either side. Then he opened the cooling box and searched around for the nutrient paste. He wasn’t sure where it was since he hadn’t had to use it in so long. It was a good thing they lasted so long…

Finally, he found the tube. He pulled it out. It was supposed to taste sweet. He hoped it did. Kazurix squeezed out a small dollop of the paste onto one of the small capsules left over from a bottle he’d thrown away, creating a small makeshift plate for the human so he didn’t have to be hand-fed. He watched as Henry cautiously inspected the food before looking up at him.

“I don’t have anything you could use as a spoon.” The human's eyes widened only a little before he shook his head.

“O-Oh! N-No, it’s okay! I- Uhm-“ He took a shaky breath before reaching his shaky hand up. “I wasn’t expecting any utensils… I wasn’t even expecting any food at all.” Once he was handed the capsule he looked away. “Thank you…” Kazurix smiled.

“You’re welcome.” He was once again reminded of why he did this so much. Most of them took a while to warm up to him, but once they did they were so sweet. He had nursed his fair share of humans back to health. Some of them were incredibly grateful, and some of them were reluctantly so. There were of course the poor humans who were so traumatized that they sadly never let their guard down around him, even after he proved himself as a non-threat. But he nonetheless cared for each and every one of them… Although, he was surprised as to how willing Henry had seemed to be. Usually, they were a lot more hesitant and afraid in the beginning, and while he was both of those things, Henry still thanked Kazurix politely and didn’t put up a fight as he was picked up… He knew there was something about him the second he walked into that store.

He hadn’t expected to rescue a human today, but fate was a funny thing. He had flown his sister and her girlfriend to the intergalactic travel center since the two of them were going on a little trip together. He knew he would’ve run into one of those tourist shops eventually. It was inevitable at such a crossroads of different alien cultures and species, but his heart still dropped when he saw one. He figured they must’ve shut down the human souvenir section, right? The last time he rescued one of them was years ago, it had to have become outdated at this point, right? But alas, walking into the shop he was immediately greeted by a glass cage with a tiny human inside of it. His heart broke for the poor guy, leaned up into a corner of the cage and breathing shallowly. Two people were looking down at him and discussing him, so he took that time to slink past them and into the back of the store. It wasn’t too far away from the cage since the store was quite small and narrow. That was bad.

He preferred to do rescues in larger stores, especially ones where the human section was tucked away between shelves and not out in the open. As the two left to look at some cheap garbage in the store, Kazurix wondered if he even could rescue this tiny. The store owner walked out to grab the bowl of food from the cage. It was full, meaning the human hadn’t eaten. Not that it wasn’t obvious given how scrawny he was…

Just as he was about to call it quits and leave, the human made eye contact with him. Kazurix’s species were known for their enhanced senses - There was a reason that despite having been found out multiple times while in the middle of a rescue, Kazurix had never been caught. Some would even go as far as to say he was an apex predator of sorts, but Kazurix didn’t agree. He wouldn’t be so foolish as to assume there weren't bigger fish out there… However, his enhanced eyesight helped him see all the details of the tinies face even from so far away. He looked tired, exhausted even, and he was indeed looking at Kazurix. His eyes were sad and round, he wondered how much life had previously been filled within them, only to be stripped away by forces out of his control.

Just then, those eyes widened and the tiny looked away. That was it. Kazurix didn’t care if he got in trouble, or if this was as far away from the ideal rescue circumstances as possible, or if the tiny seemed to be one day away from death. He was going to save him… He was going to give him at least one last day of comfort.

Walking up to the cage, Kazurix could take in even more details of the pocket-sized man. He was dressed in a loose T-shirt and shorts. Probably unisized ones that the shop provided all the humans with. He was wearing a cheaper model of the universal translator collar. That was unusual for a shop this small, but convenient for Kazurix since he didn’t have to worry about how to non-verbally explain what was going on to the human once they were out of there. Then, the human looked back only to yelp at the sudden appearance of Kazurix. Sometimes he could forget how light on his feet he was despite his size. It had always come so naturally to him, but apparently, some aliens thought it was freaky. He had to stop himself from laughing when he heard the small sound that escaped the human. He kept examining him, about to reach in and take him when he heard the footsteps of the owner. He had to wait for another opening.

He quickly walked to a nearby shelf, pretending to look at whatever junk they were selling. He could hear slight shuffling behind him, and once he heard the scooping of wooden chips he turned to the shop owner. He was cleaning out the cage… Looking around, he quickly found the human on the register counter. He crept over to him, being kept in a small plastic box. His heart broke when he saw just how powerless the little one was, lying on his side with a frown. Without hesitation, Kazurix reached into the box and picked the human up. That’s when he felt just how truly small he was. He had forgotten the tender feeling of holding someone smaller than your index finger, of just how utterly helpless they were to anything and anyone bigger than them, which was just about everyone. And that’s why he needed to do this.

The little guy didn’t even put up a fight. He was lying limply in his hand as he gently stuffed him into his open pocket. Walking by the store owner, Kazurix shielded the tiny using his hand. When the store owner spoke up and politely said goodbye to him, he could feel the poor human tense up in his pocket. He started stroking the little one tenderly, hoping to calm him down as he responded to the store owner, and quickly making his way out before he got busted.

Everything was so unplanned and happened so fast, and looking back at it, it was a miracle that they weren’t caught. Kazurix was snapped back into reality when he heard Henry call out to him.

“Hello? Uhm… K…Karu?” He asked. Kazurix looked back down at him, eyes now focused. He could see how the human seemed to squirm under his gaze. “Could I get some more food?” He seemed almost afraid to ask. Kazurix smiled down at him, squeezing out another dollop on the small makeshift plate.

“Of course… And,” he chuckled slightly, “it’s Kazu.” He smiled, but the human’s face seemed to pale at his correction.

“O-Oh! I-I’m sorry- I didn’t mean-“ Henry scrambled to explain himself. Kazurix simply smirked in amusement. Something about this tinie's nervousness was so charming to him…

“It’s no big deal.” He stated simply as he went back to stroking Henry’s tiny back with his finger. “Close enough. Don’t be nervous.” He smiled. The tiny paused, looking up at him hesitantly.

“…Why are you doing this?” He asked in a quiet voice, almost a whisper.

“Doing what?”

“Why did you take me? Wh-What are you going to do with me?” Kazurix could see the anxiety building up behind those eyes of his.

“…You looked so weak, and sad. I couldn’t just stand by without doing something.” He said. It was true if only a little simplified. Henry looked away, down at the pale brown paste dollop in front of him.

“…I want to go home.” His voice cracked, and Kazurix’s smile fell in an instant.

“…I know. Earth is… Quite far away from us.” He admitted, unsure if he could even get to earth from where they were right now. Not that he was going to tell Henry that. The human turned his face to the opposite side of Kazurix, but he managed to catch a glimpse of how glossy his eyes had gotten. Poor thing… He wouldn’t blame him if he broke down right now, considering all he went through.

“Hey?” Kazurix said softly. “Let me tell you something.” He moved a little closer. “I’ll get you to Earth… Okay? I promise.” The tiny human turned his head back, and Kazurix could see the small drops of tears that had built up in his eyes.

“You will?” Henry asked. Kazurix got a little closer once more.

“I will…” He reached his hand forward, extending his pinkie finger. “As soon as you feel better, I’ll take you to your home. I promise to protect you and escort you if you’ll have me as your travel companion?” He flashed the human a tender smile. Henry looked away, but this time, Kazurix could see the slight blush that spread to his ears. He couldn’t help but chuckle as the human grabbed his finger and shook it.

“Y-Yeah… That sounds nice.” He picked the paste back up and went back to eating, not before muttering a small and meek: “Thank you…”

And so it was decided. Kazurix was going to help Henry back to earth, a venture that would probably take them months… But he wasn’t about to drop that on Henry right now. He’s had a draining day as is. Although Kazurix was a little ashamed to admit it, he was almost a little happy that the journey would take a while. He’d be happy to get to know Henry more, and what’s a better way to get to know each other than a couple of months in space? He was sure they could make a couple of stops on the way so Kazurix could show off some fun places to Henry. He wouldn’t exactly be able to see them once he was dropped off on Earth anyway. He wouldn’t let anything happen to him while they were enjoying themselves.

“Of course. It’s my pleasure… Henry.” His name rolled nicely off his tongue. It’s been a hot minute since he’s last pronounced a human name. He would no doubt say it a lot more from now on.

Oh, he could tell this was going to be a fun experience.

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nephriteknight · 1 year

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FCG is having a -- well, he wouldn't say a bad time, that wouldn't be right. They've made new friends and helped people and perhaps most of all, they've met someone like them. But they aren't like him, not really; they are elegant and humanlike and confident, and FCG is still just FCG. They are clunky and strange and silly, all round curves and wides lenses. It's a constant reminder that he was made to deceive and to kill. FRIDA was made to protect.

FCG is having an... interesting time, and FRIDA walks up the stairs to meet the king and queen with no trouble at all. The steps are shallow enough that he can roll up them without assistance, but they still find themself falling behind the others with Deanna, pushing as hard as they can, ca-chunk, ca-chunk, ca-chunk.

FCG is having an interesting time, as they walk towards the man who might fix him. Perhaps if they had legs they might command the same respect that FRIDA does, perhaps if their face was as beautiful as theirs FRIDA might -- no, that's ridiculous. But still, they can certainly be more useful to their friends with help from this Jaquoby, so he walks with FRIDA and makes small talk and tries not to let on how desperately he... what? Wants them, wants to be them, just wants.

FCG is having a Very Interesting Time, and FRIDA is asking him about himself, and he wants to give the right answers but all he's ever known how to be is honest, and now FRIDA thinks they have a special someone and oh no, that's not right -- but now they're talking about Dancer and he still feels so terrible from the fight with the big buggy thing, taking on so much pain for his friends, it was worth it, it was so worth it, but he shouldn't be thinking about Dancer right now, it's not safe, gods above his mind feels like torture -- and FRIDA already knows about how they're a ticking time bomb, how they killed everyone they cared about once and tried to do it a second time, and they're expecting worry and mistrust from their new friend so it doesn't hurt quite so bad as it could, and it's only after he processes that that he processes the other thing.

FCG is having a very nice time all of a sudden. What a lovely thought, to be FRIDA's special someone! Goodness, wouldn't that be great? Just to be their friend is more than he could ask for --

FCG is having a very, very nice time, and sure, they're worrying about whether their trap-door hinge-jaw isn't as nice to kiss as Deanna's would be, as they're now learning FRIDA's is, but FRIDA's face is better at emoting than his own and when they part they look so happy --

FCG thinks they're having a wonderful time.

#fcg #frida #critical role #critical role spoilers #THEY KISSED TT #i wrote this at 3 am dont judge if its bad #neph's short fics

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anarchyincarnate · 2 years

Text

My little test subject

Pairing; Il Dottore (Prime) x GN!Reader

Warnings; Drug usage, Dub-con?, biting-blood? kink, gore.

It has been a few weeks since you've arrived in Snezhnaya's Zapolnary palace, having been exiled and near executed by the hands of your so-called-followers. It created a fragile yet unmoving cage around your heart. Now, cold and aloof, you rarely seem interested in the Fatui's goals..

"To think I allowed you handling such delicate pottery..." You muttered, hands firmly grasping a servants neck as decaying matter began to spread across their skin. Closing your eyes, your mind wandered to the time you bought such piece.

The pottery they broke was an antique that caught your eye during a trip to Liyue with Childe, with him trailing around you like a guard dog.

Along the way you both met up with Zhongli, who despite Childe has a strong hatred for what the man had done to you, caved in and listen to his reasoning during their lunch together. Of course, just to be safe, before your trip, Pierro had given you a small book that contained some ancient spells of the godless land.

"I never wanted to hurt them. I'm behind the days of Morax.. I was willing to cooperate with them, but... 'Their Grace' wanted their head, and.." Zhongli explained himself. Childe was gripping the ends of his chair so hard that the wood was cracking. He bit his lip, not wanting to cause a scene and put you in danger.

"How shallow of you, Morax. Weren't you the one who preached about equality and fairness inside every contract of yours?" You raised an eyebrow at his sudden stiffness.

"What you've done was unforgivable. You've fallen out of favour with them, they will never bless your presence again." Childe continued, getting up to pay the bill with you holding onto your coat.

"I understand... I'm willing to pay the price of it all.. I've dug my grave, and I'll lie in it for eternity." The man stared down onto his half-empty plate.

"There is a way to earn my favour again." You suddenly spoke out, eyes boring into Zhongli's golden ones. Undoing the spell, you noticed the shift in his demeanor.

"I can tell from your eyes that day.. you never wanted to hurt me without reason. It was unfair to you, it wasn't what you preached... But They didn't care, they ordered you to do so.."

"I'll do anything! Please, tell me what I need to do!" The desperation in his voice was pitiful, but you couldn't help but chuckle in glee as you lifted his face by the cheeks with both of your palms.

"Anything, huh..."

Opening your eyes once more, you felt the decayed remains of your servant slipping through your fingers. "How utterly disappointing.."

Columbina who was beside you stopped her beautiful melody. She began to shiver in fear at your decision to murder them so coldly. Despite knowing that she had done similar things, well without that kind of power, she still became pale at the thought of you disposing her once she fell out of favour.

At your feet was an old friend of yours, turning his head away from what remains of the servant. "Now, Now. A footrest shouldn't move, y'know? You should know better, Zhongli." You calmly stated, playing with the leash connecting the pretty shock collar you adorned his neck.

Zhongli knows he should stay quiet, lest he wants his tongue to be next. The unbearable pain of his nails having been ripped out one by one was enough to make the once mighty god cry.

"I'll forgive you for now. Make us some tea, don't disappoint me."

You let go the leash, letting the man get up using his knuckles. There was a sharp pain on his calf, one from a broken leg, but he bit his tongue. He quickly ascend despite the pain, and rushed to brew you some tea.

"I believe the Tsaritsa request you, my dear. Get on with it." At your words, Columbina bowed to you before leaving the room.

Today was an experiment day for you. Securing the last bolt inside your latest creation's fusebox, you let out an exhaustive sigh. Turning the robot on, it's movement was clunky yet endearing. It turned towards you, allowing you to make final adjustments to its appearance.

Brushing red pigment onto its under eyes, it blinked, and tilted it's irises down, looking at you with such curiosity.

It let out a cooing noise, similar to a cat. You tied the loose ends of it's kimono into a bow, before stepping back to marvel at your creation.

The shell of it's exoskeleton was unnervingly human to the touch, it's eyes gave away they aren't truly human. You'll need to fix that.

You remember about its internal hardware, the last part in this complex puppet you made. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you grumbled at the amount of wires you'll have to organise.

The harsh winter doesn't faze you anymore, having been accustomed to it, it paled in comparison to the reality of your new existence.

A scripture was given to you once by the Tsaritsa. It showed the duality of your divine nature. Fueled by kindness and tranquility, the power you possess brought life to anything you touch. The opposite hold true, fueled by rage and greed, the life you once brought will decay till there's nothing left.

"It's past midnight..." You mused, listening to the chimes of your large grandfather clock. A knock brought you out of your trance.

"Sir.. Mr. Dottore wants to see you." She meekly said, fidgeting her gloved hands as she gazed around your custom made lab.

"I'll be there right away." After your reply, she bowed to you before leaving. You got up from your seat, only to be stopped by your creation.

"Father..." It spoke out, gloved hand holding onto your wrist firmly.

"What is it, Rui?" You wonder why you chose that name for it, perhaps it reminds you of a simpler time?

"Rui wants to go outside..." They weakly said, their spider-like hair style swayed in the harsh wind.

"Later. Rest for now my boy." You pressed the switch on the back of their neck.

After ensuring that Rui was deactivated, you walked out of your lab towards Dottore's own. You stepped into Dottore's house of horror. Some poor agent started begging the moment you arrived to unrestraint him, unknowing the doctor was behind him.

Suddenly a knife lodged itself into his throat. The ensuing blood spray hit your cheek, staining a portion of it red. It dripped onto your coat.

"Must you dispose of him with reckless abandon?" You deadpanned at his display. Moving your eyes downwards to his clothes, your eyes faintly looked at the chocker and straps. "You look like a whore."

Dottore's eyebrow furrowed, twitching in annoyance because of how unamused you sounded. "Sandrone confirmed that you liked theatrics, so I decided to make one for you. Too bad the main actor died."

You wiped off the blood with your middle and index finger, pressing the bloody pads onto his lips. "Well, since you've made a mess, clean it up. Dog."

He obliged, opening his cavern and let his tongue slip out. It began to lick the blood off, slobbering slightly. Once it was finished, you didn't remove it, only you seem to explore his mouth more, playing with his appendage. Dottore can only breath heavily as his knees grew weak. Noticing the man's forming blush, you retracted your hand.

"Ah well. What is it you desire from me that you'll bother my leisure time of all things?" You coldly asked, slight irritation from his blatant interruption from your work.

"I've created a new drug you could say! Its effects are still in question, but I assure you I'll be testing them on the human body soon enough." He exclaimed, leaning back against his metal table, supporting himself.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"You see, I recall your information about a happier mood results in better work quality, so I wanted to test it out! I know you have the final say in things, so I wanted to make sure it was up to your standards—My work of course." Dottore explained the drug to you, taking off his bird-like mask and placing on the table.

"I see. Couldn't you just create a better environment or something? Drugs are.. last resorts so to speak." He merely chuckled at your grimace. "That simply won't do it justice."

His eyes flicker to your lower half, an idea formed on his mind. He popped the pill he just made into your mouth, and seated you down onto a chair. He straddled your lap, wrapping his arms around your lower back.

The temperature of your body began to rise, and you feel a faint lightheadedness coming in.

"You've done so much for us my lord.. Allow us to repay you.." He shimmied down onto the floor, hands fumbling with your belt. After taking it off, he wrapped a hand of his at the base, moving it up and down. His tongue licked the slit, wrapping the head with it. He lapped the dripping precum, sucking in a breath as he tried to go down on you, only for him to gag at half the length.

"Take your time.." You caressed his stuffed cheeks. The drug he made you take wasn't that strong, but it was enough to mess with your body. It's not something that'll harm you, just allowing your muscles to relax more.

He tried to take more of you in, but he eventually gave up and used his hand to help jerk you off.

"Just like that my pretty boy.." Despite being called that by his peers during his Akedemiya days, it felt right coming from you.

Without warning, you released inside of his mouth. Tears well up in his eyes as he tried his best to swallow it.

"It was quite alot... Mind if I take a sample for research purposes?" Your mind was fuzzy, but you nodded nonetheless. Once he got your consent, he filled a small test tube with the remaining cum, and sealed it shut before placing it somewhere else.

He got up from the floor, and straddled your lap once more. Undressing himself infront of you, he seductively unclasp his harnesses, letting it fall to the ground with a loud noise.

"I've only researched about this once, so forgive my lack of experience." He raised his hips above yours, before slamming down, taking you to the hilt.

He did it more a couple of times, mostly for his enjoyment. You had enough and grabbed his ass, raising them up before slamming it back down, full force.

A loud moan slipped Dottore's lips, having seemed to reach his high already. You felt the sticky substance sprayed onto your torso. That seems to ignite something within you.

Everything else became blurry to you, but Dottore enjoyed every second of it. Hips roughly met his, groan and moans echo through the lab, his nails digging into your skin. The smell of your blood was intoxicating, so much so that he took a bite out of your shoulder and sucked away some blood from the wound.

After the whole ordeal, it was clear Dottore made his mark on your heart and body. Perhaps seeing him more often will be worth it..

Arlechinno can only watch in disgust and jealousy. She wanted to pleasure you the same way they did. Luckily the stars lined up for her one night...

#genshin impact cult au #genshin sagau #sub genshin #sagau smut #sub dottore #dottore x male reader

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ferretseal · 8 days

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I wanted to write some character stuff and first it was Holly, but then two other Avatar characters basically screamed for my attention!

T'kali and Aìklua!

(here's pictures of them if anyone doesn't know who they are. I'll give some background for them both here too. They were drawn by @buzzkillchainsaw )

Everything else is under the cut because I don't want to force people to scroll through my ramblings!

So! First context!

These kiddos are part of a reef clan that's not the Metkayina. I don't really have a name for the clan but really that's not super important rn. Also they're both actually adults but they're my OCS so I just call them kiddos lol.

Aìklua is the middle son, and has three older siblings and two younger ones. He was born with a deformed tail, so he can't use it to swim. This caused him some trouble and eventually his father was going to allow him to be excluded from some rites but still get his tattoos. But Aìklua wants to earn them like everyone else, but it's a matter of convincing his father that he can. So that means he's the only adult in the clan who's in a child like "rank" and missing his tattoos. In recent times he's come to accept this, even though he's still pretty agitated about it. He's rather grumpy, and maybe bitter. He's resigned himself to basically being the babysitter for the little kids because he rarely has anything else to do other than making another net.

Then we have T'kali. She's a wonderful crafter and specializes in clothing and jewelry. She can probably make anything from whatever you bring her. She's pretty sassy though, a little full of herself because she's beautiful and she knows it, as well as popular. You know the rich blonde in highschool who has a giant group of friends and everyone at least knows about her? Yea T'kali is kinda like that, except she's not exactly a bully. She mainly deals in backhanded compliments, or gentle humbling, but will make anyone clothes or do their hair to make them feel pretty.

Anyway they're dating now! T'kali actually enjoys hanging out with Aìklua and can gossip with him because people will naturally give her all the tea, and he kinda fades to the background so he just hears all the drama that goes on. And Aìklua enjoys having company that's not his siblings or 10 year olds, and if that means he becomes a mannequin for a few hours he won't argue. For a while he actually didn't believe that T'kali actually wanted to talk to him, thought that she just was in it for the gossip or simply was bored, but she just kept coming around, and even invited him to help her collect shells or seagrass in the shallows and tide pools, where swimming won't be a problem, but every now and then the two sneak off into the open ocean and to a small island. Aìklua just doesn't really like using his prosthetic tail all the time because it's heavy and kinda loud and clunky, and overall isn't really comfortable to wear anywhere other than under water, but it being wood it is kinda buoyant so he still struggles with direction.

T'kali could definitely do better but honestly she just likes how Aìklua is. He's more honest, and kinda deadpan, and despite his problems he still has a unique connection to the sea. He can't explore it like he should, yet he still dives in head first. And Aìklua likes how T'kali treats him like an equal, like he's on par with her and not below her.

They're like polar opposites but in a good way I'm hoping.

#avatar way of water #oc #avatar 2009 #avatar #digital art

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steveshairychest · 1 year

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we talked abt merman eddie but what about merman steve??? i need more love and content about mer steve, the pretty boy he is

Oh, you're so right. I wrote merman Eddie as a nocturnal creature with scary pointy teeth and dark scales to help him blend in the ocean at night but Steve would be the total opposite.

His scales would look like the sunrise. So many beautiful shades of yellow and orange and the way they glisten under the morning sun is absolutely stunning. He knows it's dangerous to be out in the open, but he can't resist laying on a rock to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and scales. His skin is golden and kissed with many freckles and adorned with all the finest shells as he is the prince of the sea.

His songs are the most beautiful, his tail the longest, his seaweed baskets are the strongest in the village, and he makes the most elegant seashell necklaces to give his suitors when he politely turns them down. He's the sea's golden prince, loved by all.

Except the one person he wants the most.

He watches him from the shallows of the beach most days, escorting a beautiful lady in something Steve vaguely knows is called a gown, a crown sits a top her head as well. It's nowhere near as pretty as Steve's. His is made of the finest shells and pearls.

Robin thinks he is a knight as the young human wears heavy clunky garments that reflect the sun and make so much noise when he walks. And he carries a sword.

"Throw something at him." Robin says and dives down for a stone.

Steve narrows his eyes and swats the large stone out of her hand when she resurfaces and tries to throw it. "Do not throw stones at my love." He hisses.

Robin rolls her eyes. "My prince, you have not even spoken to him." She's right but Steve ignores her.

He's watched this human for weeks now. He's seen the way he skips stones along Steve's waters and heard him sing so beautifully when he's not wearing his clunky clothes. When he's not protecting the lady in the crown, the lady Steve knows Robin wishes to give a pearl, the human becomes so wild and vibrant and captivating. Steve spends many nights listening to the man sing and laugh with his human friends on the beach while he plays this funny thing with strings that makes the most lovely sound.

Steve will talk to him one day and when he does, he will ask the knight to sing with him.

#I HOPE THIS WAS OK !#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #st4 vol2 #merman steve harrington

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cosettepontmercys · 9 months

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I saw this review of [redacted] and immediately thought of you.... https://instagram.com/stories/adamhattan/3167025652481224559?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

I wasn't all that hyped for the movie and between your perspective and others, it really is such a shame how this story was botched

unfortunately, the review (screenshotted under the cut) really is how i feel about [redacted]. i just ... i don't even know what to say. like i loved this book, so so much. anyone who followed me in 2019/2020 probably knows that and just ... i think i have maybe three positive things to say about the movie and they're all about zahra. the original story isn't perfect by any means, but the adaptation was just ... i just felt like they took the entire heart and soul out of the story. maybe if i didn't love the book as much as i did i'd have a better time with the adaptation. </3 if you do decide to watch the movie, i'd love to hear your thoughts! 🤍

they completely diminished alex’s character, and the core facets of his identity — him being a child of divorce and his identity as a mexican american, they glossed over him figuring out he was bisexual, his adhd, etc. and the way they handled the leak made my blood actually boil; there was no need to insinuate that the emails were leaked because of a vindictive/jealous ex hookup. they completely got rid of the sexual assault / richards / predatory storyline. they diminished bea nora and pez to the point where we don't know anything about them or why they're really relevant. alex confirming his relationship with henry BEFORE he had a chance to talk to henry actually made me so upset, given henry's entire character arc — just the fact that henry had no agency in that decision was ... shitty. the pacing was off, there was no chemistry, an odd amount of cgi. none of their characters were established, there was no tension or “enemies to lovers”, there weren’t really any stakes, the history huh line (and all the other lines) were so awkward and clunky, there was no reason for the lake house scene because … his parents are still together. we don’t get any explanation for the importance of alex’s home (once again because his parents are still together)! henry's mom not making an appearance and june not being in the movie at all is also just ... a choice! it was just so shallow and disappointing.

#post: answered #rwrb spoilers #anti rwrb film #although really i should've known better given what i do know about matthew lopez + the inheritance

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toastsnaffler · 5 days

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Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

#SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAYYYY #also sorry for the weird formatting i typed this out in my phone notes and copy pasted into tumblr sjkdjf. hope it makes sense #just really frustrating to me that it ended up how it did bc it couldve been soooo good if it was good. but it wasn't 💔#whats even more frustrating is that hades 2 doesnt look like its gonna improve on any of this lmao. sad well theres other games!#hades #.asks #.diaries

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curejiraiya · 4 months

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Thinking about it, fashion dreamer would have been a FANTASTIC $10 game. We're in the time of crazy inflation so really $25. I could see a greedy company pricing it at $35. Any more thought and it's just not worth it.

I love fashion dreamer, but there's not a lot of content. What is there is fun, but in like Style Savvy even without the story you'd still get to do characters hair and makeup and nails and pick out bags for them and scarves and bracelets and give them a WHOLE look. In fashion dreamer you JUST give them outfits.

The scoring system in fashion dreamer IS REALLY bad like it's not at all clear what counts for what category. Which is frustrating when it was crystal clear in style savvy.

The UI is clunky.

WTF were they thinking with "Type A" and "Type B"???? I'm not the only one to complain about this. But seriously it was done so poorly. It's clearly just men and women but late in development someone said "fuck make it gender inclusive". but they didn't change anything but the wording used. Ideally they would have not had types at all. But if they wanted to keep types they needed to make two versions of every item when modeling them. Some misinformed people are saying this isn't possible or is more work. But news flash, every item in this game was made from scratch. It was THEIR CHOICE to make completely separate items during modeling. They very well could have had their employees make two versions of each piece. Someone on the directors board didn't want it that way. Yeah they can't change it NOW but it's frustrating that they're pretending to be inclusive when it's very clear that from the games launch this wasn't in its design.

The game lags when you get more items, but also encourages you to get as many items as possible, but also has a 5000 item cap because of the lag.

I hate the online component lol I wasn't expecting this to be a 100% social game where you're missing content if you're not online ig. I just do notttttt want to interact with strangers in a game like this.

At the same time customers are currently pissed because the first event broke the servers so they took it down and it's been weeks and it's not back up. IMO limited events in a full price game like this is FUCKED, but they're ALSO online mode exclusive (that's so fucked!) so I can't even access the content.

It kinda seems like the reason it's not back is because staff went on Christmas break. If so ..... ooof

ALSO items from the event are fucking SINGLE USE. ?????????? this is a paid game what the fuck. Why are their single use anything? Why are events time limited? If you buy the game late you'll never get these items despite PAYING for them.

I wasn't really expecting much from the updates but really we should treat them like they don't exist. The first one just had two QOL features that should have been at launch. And with that in mind this is not a full priced game. It's not worth more than $25. This isn't the first time we've gotten a shallow, unfinished, and presumablypresumably rushed game from marvelous. and it probably won't be the last. I officially do not trust that team whatsoever. I doubt synsophia provided anything for the game other than the fashion itself, and maybe the NPCs, because the rest of it doesn't feel like their product in the way style savvy or PriMagi arcade does. I wish they didn't partner with them.

Like obviously me and everyone else wishes this was a style savvy game instead. But even without that, I wish this game had more soul. I also wished it felt finished? The actual gameplay loop feels finished but the UI does not. Not having all of the basic sort functions from Style Savvy (color / Item type / style) makes the game feel like a beta test. I stopped playing because someone will ask for red shoes and I have to scroll for 45 seconds to find them while I watch everything slowly pop in.

The removal of money and buying items in quantities is a blow to depth too, because in Style Savvy someone would ask for a cool shirt and you have to hope you still have one in stock. Meanwhile in fashion dreamer this is only a problem for the first hour before you have enough of everything.

Like style savvy had more AND had a story. frustrating. Again I don't mind no story, I get that that's better for modern audiences. But they lost me because of lack of depth everywhere else. ugh

I don't hate this game! I think it's a cute small play once a week or once a month pickup for 2 minutes game. But that's NOT how it's priced. I also think they're REALLY REALLY REALLY fumbling how they're handling events. If they wanted to handle events the way they are right now they game needed to be free to play.

#fashion dreamer #ramblings

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todderwodders · 5 months

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For the Commentary! This from Fire Walk:

“It is beautiful,” Korilla says, one big hand, ending in delicately filed to points nails tracing over the wooden wedge meant to be its head. It is less a proper dog and more a dog’s skeleton. His hours in Will’s kennels pulling and retracting his uncle’s dogs legs, prying their mouths open to peek inside, smoothing their cropped ears back and watching them pop back up as they dozed in the afternoon sun had paid off on his guess at the mechanism of movement, but things to make it look like a dog were harder to come by than the materials to make it move in the first place. He sets it on the floor and slides his fingers into the wire framed slot between its shoulders. The string is thick and taunt, he has to go slow, but it acts as catalyst to make the four dumpy, thick legs move. It is clunky and unnatural compared to a dog’s prancing gait, but no less pretty in its metallic clicking and clacking for the ten or so paces it takes before he runs out of string and thus, momentum.

When he turns, Korilla is sitting in the stairwell step, looking amused and amazed with her chin propped in her hand. Her eyes seem to glitter with something like new found appreciation, although why and for what, he does not fully understand. “And you made it all by yourself?”

He feels something warm, like sinking into shallow water in the summer, filling him up - he tries and fails to keep a smile off his face. “I did. I got all the parts myself, too.”

“It must’ve taken a lot of butcher’s string and trash wire. They must think they’ve made less trash than usual.” A statement hiding a question that adults say to lead one directly into giving away more than they intend. He does not mind it - his smile widens.

She points one finger at him. The color of her nails match her dress, which Enver finds a bit tacky. “I can see why my master might like you.”

FIC COMMENTARY TIME

Absolutely losing my mind because god, this was one of my favorite parts to write in NINE BALL and one of the scenes I worried about for a multitude of reasons. One, plausibility, two, I worried about all the details that I kept adding in, and three, I kept asking myself if it was truly necessary.

My primary concern was could a small child, even a genius one, be able to build something like that? With what materials? With what time? Then I decided that this is a fantasy setting, and ultimately Ilios is emblematic of Enver’s best traits - his tenacity, his ability to outsource, his ingenuity, and his capacity for the pursuit of perfection. The dog isn’t just a dog, it’s a direct product of his life Baldur’s Gate and the wider life of his extended family.

Also, it was incredibly fun to come up with the potential things he would need to collect to even build the thing in the first place, and how he would go about figuring out how to make it in the first place. Trading with other kids, stealing scrap equipment from the blacksmith, string from the butcher, even using some of the material his parents use for shoe making, despite the risk. I imagine a visit to the High House of Wonders put the general idea in his head. Many more visits and his own good, but imperfect memory lead to the creation of the dog’s internal working.

Korilla I think, is one of the rare few to ever praise Enver on his work, so he eats it up with some, but not much, hesitation.

Moving on a little, but I intend to write more on Enver’s family throughout the fic because to me, the before of his life and the people in it are just as, if not more important, than the House of Hope itself. These people, the good and bad things he’s experienced, they’re deeply important to who he becomes as a person. They help him survive through the awful behavior he’s witnessed and through the common sense and ingenuity they’ve impressed upon him. Raphael expects nothing from a trade family, doesn’t suspect that these insane people could ever be smarter or more clever or more able than him, he thinks Enver is a blank slate for him to paint and not a person, which is his downfall.

I really, really wanted it to feel like he had a whole life with a bunch of people who know him and who miss him. His uncle runs a kennel in Rivington and he spends enough time with him to get to play with and then obsess over his dogs. He desperately wants one of his own, because much like with many a lonely, misunderstood child, dogs don’t judge, they are always happy to see him and he can never do something bad that will get him into trouble around them. Can’t have dogs in the Gate. So, improvise.

Three, it was a pet and not a darling so I kept it :)

Also, in the judgmental way of eight year olds, he can’t stand Korilla being so matchy-matchy. My statement.

#bg3 #dvd commentary meme #fire walk with me #enver gortash

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warpweighted · 1 year

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Boat Capsize* Tier List, based on relative fun-ness from my own experience

Sabot- the OG. There is no escaping the Wet, even if you are quick about it, and you will have to bail the whole damn thing out. If your sabot turtles** and you're small enough you can stand on top of it and cry, which makes for a very good photo op. However, difficult to find enough purchase upon in order to right again. 6/10 kinda clunky

[ID: A sabot, a small not particularly aerodynamic dinghy with a triangular sail, being sailed toward the camera by a child in a red life jacket.]

Also oh my god, child. Photos taken two seconds before capsize. PLEASE hike out your starboard rim is almost in the water. Sitting on the port side is not sufficient you are very small

Bic - there's no escaping the Wet, but that's okay because there's no escaping the Wet when the boat is upright either. These things were made to capsize and are easy to flip upright, and all the accumulated water just washes out the back. 8/10 nearly ideal capsize experience

[ID: A Bic sailboat, functionally a shallow one-person triangular sailboat with the back wall lopped off, being sailed away from the camera by a young teenager. The teenager is perched on the port edge of the hull.]

Catamaran - very fun if you're a passenger :) i was having a great time, my cousin who was coaxed out onto the water on the promise that catamarans are very stable and will not capsize was Not having a good time. This boat is a big old thang, and is very difficult to flip upright. Conditional 9/10 fuck around and find out

[ID: A Hobie Catamaran 16, which is two long slender hulls with a black trampoline stretched between them and two very large triangular sails, being sailed toward the camera by an adult. The boat is very tilted from the force of the wind, and the starboard hull is several feet in the air. The sailor is rigged into a harness and "hiking out": their feet are planted on the side of the starboard hull, and they are using their weight to keep the boat from capsizing.]

Laser - you can literally roll these things from capsize to back upright again without ever getting wet. I never did that as i was too small but GOD it looked fun. 10/10 has the momentum that a Bic lacks

[ID: A Laser, a mid-sized aerodynamic one-person boat with a triangular sail, being sailed away from the camera by a teenager. The sailor is "hiking out," although with no harness and far less dramatically than the previous - their feet are in the center of the hull, and their upper thighs upwards are leaning out of the boat to counterweight the force of the wind.]

Lido - capsize capabilities are frankly boring., way too much bailing required. Just get an inner tube and drag a dozen screaming nine year olds off the back like a normal person with a healthy regard for water safety

[ID: A Lido, a larger multi-person sailboat with a wide scoop of a hull and two triangular sails, being sailed away from the camera by two people. One of the sailors is "hiking out" in a similar but slightly more relaxed manner than the Laser sailor.]

*flip the boat over on its side (this is generally not desirable but is very fun)

**flip the boat over upside down (often happens with the momentum from a capsize)

#sailing #aiden.txt

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kenobihater · 2 years

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i get the appeal of engaging with content while your brain is turned off, i do (i mean, i've recently watched the mummy 1999 twice in the last 3 days, so i get foolish fun). that said, there are some fandoms where doing so can lead to utter clownery. it's one thing to mindlessly play let's say the witcher 3 without engaging with any of its themes. you'll miss out on a wonderful exploration of fatherhood and some clunky commentary on systemic oppression, but unless your takeaways are "geralt shouldn't care about ciri because it makes him weak! also being a witcher is always awesome and TOTALLY worth it! " you aren't being silly by mindlessly killing monsters and not thinking critically about the game. killing monsters is extremely fun in that game, and it isn't that deep! that said, it's another thing entirely to mindlessly play disco elysium.

disco elysium is not a game you should mindlessly consume. it has many things to say about politics, racism, policing, hope, and human nature, among other things i'm doubtlessly forgetting. you may not agree with everything it has to say, you may not like it, but that doesn't mean you should just ignore it. painting harry, kim, or any of the other cops as good because you're wearing rose colored glasses and want your blorbos to be the good guys is missing the point. i get liking them. i like them too. that doesn't magically make them good people or morally justified in their actions. i'm not going to sit here and act like i'm not guilty of reading fluffy fics about them that don't touch the shitty aspects of their characters, that i don't enjoy the occasional well-written and engaging case fic where they continue to be cops. i will admit i read those fics! that said, the outright woobification of the cop characters both in and outside of fic and in the general fandom consensus, the overall fanon? it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. you're talking about cops, and there's no such thing as a good cop because good cops don't last. you can play harry as a fascist, as someone who punches a child, as someone who uses his authority to dominate others. i'm not going to get into why jean and kim are shitty people, because there are other better posts covering those topics, but even if they didn't act like shitheads, they'd still be bad people purely because they're willingly part of a broken, oppressive system. that alone keeps them from being innocent saints who can do no evil.

i'm not advocating for painting them as completely shitty, unforgivable human beings who are incapable of some form of redemption. all i'm asking is that people think about the game they're playing on a deeper level than just shipping, which is the typical form of sometimes mindless engagement i see on here (no, not all ship content is mindless or uncritical, so don't twist my words). ignoring what the game has to say about life and the nature of evil systems does a disservice to both the game AND the person ignoring the themes and statements. you miss out on a lot of depth if you aren't willing to wade out of the shallows! free yourself from the woobification! take off your water wings!

#len speaks #len's meta #this post is brought to you by matt's lovely post that got me thinking abt how annoying some fandom tendencies are #disco elysium meta #disco elysium

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ladyirisreviews · 5 months

Text

Breath of Fire 2 - REVIEW

After playing Breath of Fire 1, I was very excited to see what the sequel brought to the table, and honestly, I am glad that I played this, despite not being exactly what I wanted out of it.

I'll skip the prelude to talk about the stuff that happens in the "current time".

The protagonist and his friend, Bow, are both orphans who became rangers when they grew up, but someone framed Bow for a crime he didn't commit, so he is forced to flee the village, and it's up to the protagonist to clear his name, You'll meet several characters along the way and discover something sinister brewing in the land.

In this game, characters are more fleshed out and move along the plot, unlike in the first game where it's only the bad guys showing up and you have to beat them up.

Characters still join you without much reason, but at least most of them get some spotlight, they still don't interact with each other but it is a step forward.

There's also a place where you can directly talk with them, and they will comment about what is going on, which I think is a neat detail even if the dialogue is shallow.

I wish they could have had dialogue for all of your party members every time the plot was progressing, but for the most part, they are as silent as the protagonist, the exceptions being when they are first introduced and when their time in the spotlight comes.

The plot is also a huge step forward, the introduction does a good job at building a specific type of atmosphere and some mystery, as well as having some pretty well-made cutscenes throughout the game.

It's still pretty simple, both the story and the characters, but it is a noticeable upgrade.

I also liked how in very few instances, the game used the battle screen to make a cutscene play, I thought it was pretty cool, and I wish the game used that trick more, it would have made some scenes even more impactful.

As much as I appreciate the work that was done in everything related to the writing, The translation work is kind of terrible.

There are multiple instances where the text will be badly formatted, sentences will have weird wording, pronouns will be wrong, and even options will do the opposite of what they say.

I like everything that the plot tried to do, but the horrible translation does bring it down a bit, thankfully it doesn't make the game unplayable, or make you unable to appreciate some of the stuff that it does.

But man, I wish they released a re-translation for it.

Now going into the combat.

Right off the bat, I think getting rid of the icons was a good choice for the UI, which felt kinda clunky in the first game.

On top of having an attack option and a special option, every character has a special skill unique to them.

The main character, for example, recovers HP depending on how low his HP currently is, the effect being stronger the lower it is.

I felt that overall they didn't influence the battles a lot, the one for the main character is nice but I felt all the others were disposable, but it is still cool that each character has unique stuff.

Also, you can defend and switch formations by pressing L or R.

Formations are kinda neat, it's a step above just making a character be in the front or back row, deciding the risk of a character being attacked in that way was interesting for me, and I found myself changing the formation multiple times during my time playing the game.

As for magic, there are points when it feels underwhelming, especially around the middle of the game, but at the start and the end, magic can pack a punch.

Which is a big upgrade compared to how it was in the first one, where the only worthwhile spells were the healing ones, weaknesses still feel like they are kind of an afterthought, but at least they exist.

I do have to say though that making bosses immune to all the status-inducing spells and debuffs is very lame, I don't mind bosses being immune to things like sleep or poison, but being immune to debuffs as well makes the debuffs feel completely worthless, you won't be needing them on random fights either, since they end very quickly.

Despite this, the combat feels like a huge step forward compared to the original game, bosses will have you managing resources and you will need to watch out for random fights towards the end of the game.

A lot of random encounters are still solved by pressing the auto-battle button though, but if you use it during the last dungeons of the game odds are one of your party members will be KO'd.

There's also another mechanic that impacts combat, and that is the shaman system.

You will encounter shamans along the way that can fuse with your characters to increase their powers, there's a total of 6 shamans in the game and you can unite a max of 2 shamans to any character.

The catch is that characters are only compatible with some of the shamans, some being able to unite with most, and others with only a couple.

Also, if you happen to discover a special combination the character's color will change and the effect of the bonus will be stronger, or even better, their form can completely change and get a bonus in all stats.

I have some problems with the system though, it's lame that you can't fuse the shamans with everyone.

Allowing that extra customization would have been very cool, of course rewarding the secret transformations but still giving a little bonus for a non-special fusion.

Another problem that I have is that the fusions come apart very easily, when a character reaches critical health, or passes out, the fusion comes apart, but it also happens after a lot of cutscenes, which is pretty lame and annoying.

It would be better if you could have access to the fusions everywhere, or even at safe spots, but they are restricted to only 1 city.

So if you lose it in a long dungeon it's either go all the way back or finish the dungeon as is, which makes them feel a little bit worthless.

The overworld abilities make a comeback, but like last time, they feel a little bit like an afterthought, I saw it being used mostly to force a certain character into the party.

It would have been better if some character interactions led to them being forced onto the party, since if they are not with you and you encounter the obstacle you need them for, you need to go all the way back for them, which is the same place the shamans reside after you find them.

This can be kind of annoying.

And the worst is that they were perfectly capable of just forcing them on your party.

There is this section where you need a specific character to be with you to talk to another character, you get transported into a dream world with some save points available where you can change your party, but the character you need can't be removed.

And there is nothing inside the dream world that requires them, they don't even get dialogue inside, it's a bit frustrating.

This is one of the only things I think were better in the first game, you could freely change your party from anywhere, and that type of backtracking didn't exist thanks to this.

And like I mentioned, if they forced characters into your party with some plot in the middle it wouldn't be a problem, it would even flesh out the characters more.

Breath of Fire 2 has a way lower encounter rate than 1, so at least the backtracking isn't as bad.

Moving forward though, there's another new mechanic.

As you advance through the game you get to build a town of your own, and there are a lot of factors that change quite a lot of stuff.

Depending on the carpenter the look of the town will change, and you get to recruit people from around the world to open shops, only 6 though, and once you invite them to your town they will remain forever, so choose carefully.

Some sell pretty good stuff and others are useless, by talking to them when you first find them you will be able to know what purpose they would serve in your city.

And you could just save, recruit them, and then check out what they do, I think it's a very neat feature.

With the main features out of the way, I want to talk about the rest of the details.

Like in the first game, the overworld feels pretty small and looks pretty similar all over the world, at least there's more variety in the locations you get to visit in the dungeons, but also, like in the first game, they are very short and have barely any puzzles, the reduced encounter rate makes them more enjoyable to me though.

I had a nitpick in the first game, in towns, whenever you entered a house, the town theme would fade out and a different song would start playing.

This bothered me very much, and I am happy to say that doesn't happen in this game, but I have a different nitpick related to the music now.

And is that almost every dungeon plays the same song, this also applies to the towns, and they are not even that good in my opinion.

I am very glad the last few dungeons had unique songs, I would have been pretty mad if they didn't, but outside of those 2 songs, I think the game has a pretty good soundtrack.

Not every song is that great, but there's a couple that are very remarkable in my opinion.

I'd say I would definitely recommend this game over Breath of Fire 1, you don't miss on much lore if you skip it, as stuff that you would need to know is explained in the main plot of the game.

Writing this review made me realize how much I appreciate this game, especially when comparing it to the first one, it's such a big improvement.

I wasn't very optimistic about the series after I played the first one, but after looking at all the improvements they made in 2, I am a bit hopeful about Breath of Fire 3, and what improvements they could make.

Like more character development, a tighter combat system, or better dungeons.

Unlike the first game, which I think only people who enjoy very simple RPGs with almost no plot would enjoy, this game feels a bit more accessible, and I think you lose nothing in giving it a try.

The horrible translation could make it difficult to get into it, but once you do it's pretty fun to see through, at least in some parts.

It still has some issues, especially for how optimized RPGs are these days, but I felt it was a genuine attempt at making a better game, even if it still falls short in a lot of things.

There's a lot of plot-lines and concepts that I wish were developed more, characters that had more screen time, and of course, a better translation.

I kind of wish Capcom would remake this game someday with the proper care put into it, I think it would be incredibly good.

They don't need to waste millions in giving it mind-blowing graphics, as long as they get good translators, polish some of the rough edges, add some QoL stuff, and maybe add the Game Boy advance portraits.

It could be a very good quality release, but I know that will never happen, I still can dream though.

#capcom #breath of fire #snes #super nintendo #rpg #jrpg #game review #retro games #trans #I'm the trans content in this post #long post

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