#it needs some extra editing and a read over bc I wrote it between classes and changed tenses like 15 times rip

[hamimagines]

Girls Like You (Philip Hamilton x Reader)

(A/N: So this is a repost of sorts because I accidentally deleted this fic....whoops. But that’s okay because I got to edit a bunch of little bits and add an extra scene to make it better! I don't remember much from the original author’s note except that when I wrote this fic I had Jordan Fisher as Philip in mind rather than Anthony Ramos, so do what you will with that info. Enjoy!)

Song - Guys My Age // Hey Violet

TW: smut, age difference

You rang the tiny bell on the counter and served yet another red-eyed college student. You were only two hours into your shift at The Brewhouse -- the campus’ very own student-run coffeehouse -- but you’d guess that upwards of fifty cups of caffeine paradise had passed from your hands already. At least it wasn’t exam week. Quite the opposite, it was the first day of classes for the majority of students, including you.

“Hey, Y/N?” Your coworker Tyler tapped you on the shoulder. You tilted your head towards him but kept your eye on the latte you were making. First rule of being a barista: always keep your eye on the latte. “Can we switch, and you take over register for a bit?” Tyler continued. ”There’s a line now. You know how they make me anxious,” he said softly.

You smiled and handed him the finished drink. “Sure thing, buddy.”  You turned around and wiped your hands on your apron quickly before greeting the next customer.  Several students behind her, a younger man caught your eye. He was staring at his phone with his other hand tucked into his pocket. It was a stance most people took when waiting in line. This boy had dark skin and even darker hair. In the suit he was wearing, he looked incredibly attractive. The fact that he was even wearing a suit while at college probably meant he was on his way to an internship of some kind, meaning he was successful, meaning triple the attractiveness points.

You watched him casually while ringing up other customers until finally, he was to the front of your line. He smiled at you with a healthy dose of charm and slid his phone back into the pocket of his dark dress pants. “Hi there!” you said in your perky work voice, “What can I get you?”

“Uh, just get me a black coffee in your largest size.”

“Sure thing.” You picked up a large cup. “I like it black too,” you added, trying to make conversation with this Grecian god. He pushed his square glasses up and smiled like he wasn’t quite sure of you. “Can I get a name for the order?”

He looked down for a moment like he had to think seriously about what his name actually was. Maybe he wasn’t as smart as his suit. “Um, Philip.”

You nodded and scribbled his name down next to his order. As Philip stepped to the side, you quickly wrote your number down as well. You’d never been shy when it came to flirting with boys, and Philip was incredibly fine.

Tyler gave you a look when he picked up Philip’s cup and turned it over to read the order. You were busy with another customer when Philip got his drink so you didn’t get to see his reaction.

Once the line had disappeared, you turned to Tyler. “So…” you prompted. Tyler stared at you blankly. “Did he see the number?”

“Oh, he saw it,” Tyler laughed.

Your face dropped. “Oh no, what did he do?”

“I’m not telling you.” Tyler grabbed a rag and pretended to wipe the counter down.

“Oh come on. Please?” you begged.

“Nope. You’re just gonna have to wait and see if he texts you.”

You didn’t have to wait long though because later that day you saw Philip again. He was in your evening calculus class, the one you happened to be late to on the first day.  

Philip was leaning against the professor’s desk at the front of the classroom. You smiled at him as you walked past to sit by the only person in that class who you already knew. Jenna smiled and patted the spot next to her.

“Late on the first day? Really Y/N?” she teased.

You shrugged and pulled out the book that you were told to buy for the class. You were trying to act casual despite feeling the entire classroom watching you because you walked in late. “I’m barely late. Besides, the professor isn’t even here yet.”

Jenna furrowed her brow. “Uh, yes he is. Who do you think you just walked past? You interrupted him introducing himself to the class.”

You turned wide-eyed to the front of the classroom. Philip glanced at you briefly, but he didn’t glare or even stare. He started to address the class. “Anyway, as I was saying. I’m Professor Hamilton and welcome to Calculus BC. This can be a tough course so I’m proud of you all for signing up for it. I hope at least some of you stick around,” he joked. His gaze traveled to you, and you quickly looked down. You could be pretty awkward sometimes, but this was one situation you never expected to find yourself in.

“Now, before you ask,” he continued, “am I too young to be a professor? The answer is: probably. But like you guys, and anyone interested in higher levels of math, I’m ambitious. I graduated from college when I was 19. I taught in public high school for four years, and a private school for two before I took the job here. You can do the math on that one. I hope.” He winked at the class, and you were reminded why you’d given him your number as your skin started to feel hot. You could definitely mark this down as the first time a math joke turned you on. 

The class continued on like any would. Professor Hamilton wasn’t the type to actually try and teach on the first day, which meant you had plenty of time to consider your sins. Giving your number to one of your professors had to be breaking some rule, but he was only 25. That was record young for a professor, especially a math professor. You considered talking to him about it after class, but that could be even more awkward. 

Although, you didn’t mind the idea of spending a little extra time with the professor. Your new knowledge of his status did nothing to smash the crush you’d already developed on him. Of course, it would go nowhere, but there was no shame in looking. Your eyes traveled from his face down to his chest and arms. He had just the right amount of muscle. Not so much that you felt uncomfortable looking at him, but there was definitely more than nothing there. It didn’t help that halfway through the syllabus he took his blazer off, making it ten times easier to see his biceps through his thin dress shirt. Sometimes he crossed his arms, and you had to remind yourself how to breathe. He almost caught you staring at him several times, but you always looked away. 

By the time the class ended, you decided that you should stay behind. Whether it was to clear the air or stare a little longer, you still weren’t sure. You told Jenna to go ahead of you, and once everyone had left, you turned to your new teacher.

“Phi- I mean, Professor Hamilton?”

He looked up from his laptop and smiled. “Oh! Hey, stranger.”

“Look, I’m really sorry.” You pulled your bookbag higher on your shoulder. “If I had known you were a professor, I never would have…”

“Flirted with me?” he supplied. A smile was still on his face. He was enjoying your embarrassment too much.

“Yes, but to my defense, you look like a student.” 

Philip laughed and leaned back in his chair. “I know.” 

“You said your name was Philip instead of Professor Hamilton!” you defended again, but you were smiling now.

He threw his hands up. “I know! This is my first time teaching at a college! I didn’t know if professors always called themselves professors. It seemed a little pretentious.”

You were broken up with laughter now. “It is,” you choked out.

 “I have to admit, though, I admire the boldness.” 

You shrugged. “It was just writing my number down.” 

Philip scoffed. “Yeah. And the things you said.”

“What things?”

“You ‘like it black’?” He made air quotes and then gestured to himself.

Your mouth dropped. “Did you- oh god no! No, I was really talking about the coffee! I like black coffee just like you do!”

Philip gave you a disbelieving look. “Sure, Y/N.”

You tilted your head to one side. “You know my name?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s on the roster.” He fumbled to pick the piece of paper up from his desk. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” You tried to laugh, but couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. Duh. You were his student. 

Philip smiled. “It was also on the cup next to your number.”

You lifted your head up and met his eyes. For a moment, you forgot about the lines between the two of you. The lines you shouldn’t, couldn’t cross. “So, you did look at it.” You smirked and crossed your arms. “Were you going to text me?”

“That would be...really unprofessional,” he said slowly.

“Right.” You bit your lip, turning away from him. “See you later, Professor.”

When you were a fair distance away from the classroom, you started to giggle and happy-dance. You had limits and you knew that you would never actually be with Philip, but there was never shame in joking around and having fun.

A few weeks of harmless crushing went by fast. You hadn’t had a one-on-one conversation with Professor Hamilton since the first day, but that didn’t stop you from checking him out during class on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays. You’d already learned most of the material, and you were doing well in the class so daydreaming a little wasn’t hurting your grade.

Sometimes he came by The Brewhouse during your shifts, and you’d always write ‘Philip’ on his cup even though you’d finally gotten into the habit of calling him Professor Hamilton. He always acted disappointed that Tyler never wrote his number on the cups. 

It was almost like a routine that the two of you worked through: always trying to stray from flirting, but never quite being successful. That routine broke when he asked you to stay after class one day.

“Whatcha need?” You hopped onto the table of the front row. Your legs swung back and forth.

Philip cleared his throat and looked at you. “I need a UTA,” he said surprisingly seriously. Most of the time, Philip kept things light-hearted with you. 

“A what?”

“An undergraduate teaching assistant. I think you’re the girl for the job.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “Isn’t that usually a job for senior students?”

“Juniors do it all the time, so I’m told.”

“Why me?” you asked cautiously.

Professor Hamilton blinked like he wasn’t expecting the question. “You’re a good student, we get along well, and I believe that you could handle it.”

You stepped closer and searched his dark eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Philip.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

You started to move around the classroom. “It’s a classic move. The hot young teacher meets an even hotter young student.” You gestured to yourself and winked at him. “This teacher proceeds to get close with the student, make them feel comfortable with them, and offers reasons to spend more time with the student. Once the student is seduced, they sleep together. Then the teacher always, always, turns out to be some psycho who’s obsessed and kidnaps the student.”

Philip raised his eyebrows. “Is that so?” You nodded confidently. “And I’m guessing I play the role of the hot young teacher?”

“Some would say.” You turned around and walked to the top of the auditorium-style seating.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Y/N.”

You faced him again. “What do you mean?”

“You think I’m asking you to be my TA as some big ploy to get closer to you. I’m just gonna choose to ignore what you’re accusing me of.” You looked down, slightly ashamed. You had been joking, but the conversation took a serious turn. Philip walked up the steps to meet you. “I asked you because you’re a hard worker, and one of my smartest students.”

You avoided his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. I only know this stuff because I took the class in high school. I just decided not to take the AP test. It’s not like I’m a genius or something.”

“Give yourself some credit,” he refuted. “This material would have been difficult for a high schooler.”

You considered for a moment. “What would I do as a teaching assistant?”

Philip simpered and took a step back. “You would answer students’ questions when I’m busy, help me grade papers, and any other things I need you to do.” Your mind pictured some of the ‘other things’ before you could stop yourself. “Basically, just take some of my workload off.”

You bit your lip and looked at Philip seriously. He stared back. Several moments of silence passed between you, but eventually, you relented. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Philip held his hands up defensively. “That’s all I’m asking.”  He walked down the stairs, and you followed after him.

“Do I need to fill out an application or something?”

The professor was putting his laptop into his briefcase. “Nope, just let me know when you’ve made your decision.”

“Okay.” You watched him pack up his things for a moment, not wanting to leave but not knowing what else to say. “I’ll be leaving then.”

Philip slung his briefcase over his shoulder. “Want me to walk you back?”

You were taken aback by his offer. “That’s okay, you don’t need to,” you said awkwardly.

Philip chuckled, “Relax, Y/N. I’m still not trying to seduce and kidnap you. I have to stop by my office and junior housing is on the way to the main building.”

You let out a steady breath. “I’d love that. Thank you.” Philip nodded and opened the door for you. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m accusing you. You seem nice, but a girl can never be too careful, right?”

“I totally understand, and I’d never take advantage of you.” He followed you out the door.

You nodded thoughtfully. “I believe you.”

“Besides,” Philip smirked, “If I wanted to get into your pants, I’d have succeeded by now.” He walked ahead of you casually. You stood in the hallway, too shocked to move at first, but quickly laughed and followed him down the hallway  

“A teaching assistant? Since when did you want to be a teaching assistant?” Jenna asked. She had come over to your apartment to watch TV, as if she didn’t have her own flat screen. 

“Yeah, you don’t even like math. You literally told me two weeks ago that you’re only taking it because your biochemistry degree requires it,” your roommate Emily added.

“I know.” You pulled a glass out of the cupboard and took the water pitcher out fo the fridge.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the incredibly fuckable Mr. Hamilton, would it?” You could hear the smirk in Jenna’s voice.

You poured water into your cup. They were in the other room, so they couldn’t see the coy smile that appeared on your face. “No. I just think it would be a good opportunity,” you contested. Your defense was weaker than Wendy in Kubrick’s Shining, and Emily and Jenna saw right through it.

“Yeah,” Emily laughed, “Sounds like a bangin’ opportunity.”

You grabbed the bowl of popcorn sitting on the counter and your drink and walked into the living room. “You guys are ridiculous,” you said, sitting between them on the couch you and Emily had picked up off the street last year.

“Oh c’mon, at least show me a picture of Professor Fuck Me.” Emily raised her eyebrows suggestively and you groaned.

“I have a picture of him on my phone!” Jenna chimed in excitedly.

“What the fuck? Why?” You asked her, but she just shrugged and handed her phone to Emily. Her eyes widened when she saw the screen.

“My god, Y/N. Please have sex with your teacher.”

You peeked at the picture. It was a good shot. He was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed and a Prince Charming smile on his face. “You don’t think that be weird? Or wrong?” 

Jenna rolled her eyes. “He’s 25, Y/N. Only a little more than years older than you. No, it would not be weird.”

You shrugged. “I guess, when you say it like that, it doesn’t seem strange.”

“Sleep with him! Sleep with him!” Emily started to chant with Jenna joining in not long after. You rolled your eyes at your friends and turned up the volume on the TV. However, being Professor Hamilton’s TA was looking more and more appealing.

You walked into Philip’s office and slung your coat over the back of one of his chairs. It was 8 at night on a Thursday in October. You had just gotten out of Philip’s class, and you were in for a long night. “What’s on the agenda for tonight, sir? 

“I told you not to call me that.” Philip turned around with two mugs of black coffee in his hand. He set one down on your side of the desk.

You picked it up gratefully. “Aye aye, Captain.” You gave him a mock salute and sat down in the large armchair that he kept in his office.

The professor rolled his eyes and set a large stack of papers down on his desk. “Calc 1 just had a midterm.”

“Oh, fuck me,” you groaned at the sight of all the work you two had. Philip raised his eyes at you. “I mean...like, uh-” You didn’t have to finish explaining yourself because he burst out laughing.

“Y/N, you know you can swear in front of me, and you can call me Philip.”

“Sure thing, Mister Captain Professor Sir.” You winked at him, and he started smirked again, shaking his head. Philip opened one of the drawers on his desk and handed you a red pen and half of the tests.

“What are we in the mood for tonight?” he asked, opening up his laptop. 

You tapped the pen against your lips, thoughtfully. “R&B.”

Philip grinned, “Perfect.”

Music started to fill the room. You took a sip of coffee and flipped over the first of the dreaded tests.

“Hey, Philip?” you asked about one hour later.

He looked up from his work, smiling at your use of his first name. “Yeah?”

“Can you come look at this?” He nodded and walked behind your chair, leaning over to look at the paper. You felt the warmth of his breath on your shoulder and forgot what you needed to tell him for a moment. “What is it?”

“Oh!” You shook yourself out of the daze. “Look at this problem.” You pointed to the paper with your pen. “They got the right answer, but they didn’t use the method you did in the answer sheet. I’m pretty sure it all checks out though.”

Philip furrowed his brow. “Can I?”

You gave him a confused look. He gestured to the paper. “Oh yeah. Sure.” You handed it to him, and he pulled it closer to his face, squinting his eyes. You watched as those dark brown orbs scanned the page. He stuck his tongue out, and you found yourself staring at in a way that was creepier than you were willing to admit. 

Philip scratched his neck. “I don’t think I get what you mean.”

You sat up straighter so that you could see the paper as well. “See, normally you’d use the Washer Method to find the volume, right?” You looked up and realized how close your face had gotten to Philip’s. Your mouth went dry. “Well...they’re still using, um, integrals, but they sort of separated the figure instead of doing it all in one, ya know, antiderivative. It still works though. That is the volume.”

“Are you okay?” Philip asked. 

You swallowed hard. “Mhm,” was all you could manage. He was close enough for you to smell the mixture of cologne and coffee. The scent caused an ache to start in between your legs.

Philip sighed and nodded. “But the point of the lesson was to learn the Washer Method.”

 “True,” you agreed, “But don’t you think you should give the student credit for using other knowledge to find the answer anyway?”

“Someone found a bit of passion.” Philip smiled at you with pride. You looked down and blushed. “No, it’s not a bad thing! You’re right. Give her full credit, but make a note about the simpler way so she doesn’t have to do all this work again. Good catch, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” You went to take the paper back from him and your hands touched in one of those romance novel moments you always wished would happen to you. Your heart stopped. You knew you should probably move away from Philip before this got awkward, but the way he was staring back at you had you hooked. You moved forward slightly, testing the limits. Your lips just barely grazed against his.

Philip took a shaky breath, ”I’m...I’m sorry, I-” You pushed yourself up and kissed him.

Philip reacted almost instantly, coiling his fingers into your hair and pulling you closer. You felt a month of sexual tension fading away. You moved to sit on your knees so your were more level with Philip and put your hands on his face.

“Wait,” He pulled away suddenly. “We can’t do this, Y/N.”

You took a small moment to catch your breath. “Why not?”

Philip walked around the chair and rubbed his hands over his face. “It’s not right. I’m your teacher.” He turned away from you, took his glasses off, and set them on his mostly empty desk

You remembered what Emily and Jenna had said. “You’re only five years older than me. Not even that much. It’s not that weird.”

He turned around and faced you. You got up and walked over to him, taking his shaking hands in yours. “It wouldn’t be professional,” he stammered.

You leaned close to his face. “I won’t tell,” you whispered. Philip’s eyes poured deep into yours. You reached your hands up to his collar and started to undo the buttons of his dark shirt.

“This is wrong,” he said, but his fingers pressed into your hips anyway.

You grabbed onto his now open shirt and pulled him closer. “Please, Philip?” you pleaded.

He looked down at you and smoothed his hand over your hair. His eyes searched yours for any signs of hesitance, but there was none. “Come here,” he whispered roughly.

You crashed your lips against his, molding your body to his. Philip’s hands pressed into your back, and his tongue slipped into your mouth. Without breaking contact, he flipped you two around so that the back of your thighs were pressing into his desk. You pulled away for air and lifted your shirt over your head before connecting with him again. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, and you pushed his shirt down. It was so nice to feel the muscles that you’d been staring at for weeks under your hands. You let them roam all over his chest and arms.

Philip’s hands ran up your thighs to your bare sides. His lips moved to your jaw until his mouth was right by your ear. One of his hands took your hair and pulled your head back while the other slipped underneath your bra. “Do you know how hard it’s been having a student like you?” he whispered. Your breathing was shallow and clipped, and you leaned on your hands to support yourself. “You’re gorgeous and funny and you have this amazing smile. Every time you walk in my classroom it’s like you’re teasing me.”

You laughed airily. “Do you know how hard it is having a teacher like you and not being a tease?”

Philip smiled. “You’re a jerk,” he whispered before kissing you again. Your hands moved down to his pants. You started to undo the buckle while you took his bottom lip between your teeth lightly.

“You’re sure about this?” he asked again. It was pointless to ask. You’d already decided the moment you met him.

You nodded vigorously. “There’s a condom in my bag.”  Philip stepped away and walked over to your bookbag and started to rummage through it. While he was busy, you stood up off of the desk. It was difficult to stay standing with this light-headed feeling. You unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down. Deciding to leave your underwear on, for now, you sat back on the desk. Philip turned around with a condom in his hand. His eyes widened slightly at the sight of you.

Philip walked over to you with determination. He grabbed your knees and pushed your legs apart. You bit your lip and watched as he pulled his erection out. Philip opened the condom and rolled it on. He hooked two fingers underneath your panties and pulled them to the side. He positioned himself at your entrance and teased you with his tip.

You rolled your eyes and dug your nails into the edge of the desk. Philip smirked and slid into you. You hooked your leg around his waist, letting him push deeper. You draped one arm across his shoulders and let your head fall forward onto him.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Great,” you breathed. “Keep going.” Philip rocked his hips gently as you adjusted to feeling him inside you, a feeling you’d needed for a long time. He gripped your thighs, letting his thumbs rest between them. He pushed you back and pulled you forward on the desk to meet his motions. You pushed your mouth against his chest to quiet your moans. It was late so you doubted anyone was nearby, but it was good to be careful. Your nails scratched the skin on his back. Philip groaned and moved faster. He brought his thumb up to his mouth and licked it before pressing it against your clit and moving it back and forth.

You threw your head back. “Oh fuck, oh Jesus, fuck yes. Jesus fucking Christ, right there.” Philip raised his eyebrows at you. You pushed sweaty hair out of your face. “You said I could swear in front of you.”

Philip smiled and ducked his head into the crook of your neck. Your hands splayed against his lower back. He bit into the skin on your shoulder. You moaned loudly. He was inside of you, on top of you, and all around you. All you could focus on was Philip as a fire burned deep in your abdomen. Your thighs started to quake uncontrollably.  Philip lifted his head up and pressed his forehead against yours. You stared at him, your teeth gritting against the sensations you were feeling. You gripped his hips tightly, desperate to ground yourself. Philip pressed his thumb into your clit just a little harder, and it was enough for you to dissolve into pleasure.

Your body instantly became overly sensitive. Every movement and every caress doubled in intensity. Philip stilled inside you, giving you a break and opting to kiss your neck and chest instead. When your breathing was normal again and you’d come down from your high, he started to move inside you again, slowly at first but quickly building speed. You smiled and wrapped both of your legs around his waist. It wasn’t long before you felt pressure building in your abdomen again, and you could tell by his firm but quivering grip on you that Philip was feeling it too. You pulled him in for a kiss that caused shockwaves to course through you again. Philip moaned against your lips, and seconds later you felt him twitching inside of you, his warm cum spilling in. 

You both lay there for a moment, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes. The weight of what had just happened crashed around the both of you.

You had just slept with your professor.

#hamilton #hamilton imagine #imagines blog #Philip Hamilton #philip x reader #philip hamilton smut #philip hamilton x reader #philip imagines #philip hamilton fanfiction #philip hamilton imagine #Anthony Ramos #anthony ramos smut #professor!philip #hamilton college au

[meghand]

okay i’m gonna apologize in advance bc this post is literally just about to be me going off about my classmates but some of these people i go to school with are really driving me up the wall rn

so if you don’t know i’m getting my masters at a little art school that’s affiliated with another university and like pretty much every institution there have been frustrations and speed bumps with reopening amid covid. this is to be expected

in my personal opinion i think that given everything our school has done a good job and has been super generous with the support and options they’re giving us. they’re literally offering an optional extra year to grad students who have been affected by the closures and fluctuations in access to resources, meaning they’re giving us the opportunity to - tuition-free - audit classes, have access to faculty, and have free access to studio space for an entire academic year. this is BEST CASE SCENARIO for people in our position. studio space is fucking expensive and getting an entire extra year of access to classes and faculty advising when we missed what amounts to half a semester of in-person education is a PHENOMENAL compensation

obviously there are concerns with returning to school now and questions about how things are being handled with having students back on campus and giving people access to the studio spaces that we all share. i absolutely want answers as to how many people will be in the studio building, what measures are going to be taken sanitation-wise, etc. i think those are so valid and important and need to be addressed by the school’s admin

but the people in my graduate cohort - people who are FULL ADULTS, like beyond even what you expect of adulthood from undergrad college students - are currently trying to compose a document detailing individual grievances with the way things are being handled and demanding certain actions from the administration and the school itself. a lot of the concerns expressed are super, super relevant and in need of attention, so on that front i support my peers’ effort to bring these things to the fore

but then there are some points they want to make that are really just so past the point of entitlement to where it comes across as whining. i literally had to read about how my classmates feel they deserve an incentive to stay in the program if first-year mfa students and undergrads get some of the same things we do when we already have more studio space and the above mentioned third year option. to me it seems so petty and childish to demand something more when we’re already being offered more than the school is in any way obligated to give us. another complaint they have is about the communication between admin and students, which admittedly hasn’t been AMAZING but, from my perspective, has been as transparent as could realistically be expected. the admin who are in contact with us only get so much information, and there’s only so much that they can pass along to us without making empty promises. given the position everyone is in i think it’s fair to give them the benefit of the doubt and not go wailing about not getting every scrap of information that may or may not be getting discussed between higher ups with no evidence of guarantees

but what’s getting me more than anything is the way my classmates are interacting with each other in our year’s groupchat. the small group of people who wrote up the first draft of this document they want to submit to admin put it together hastily and in the heat of the moment and it really, really showed. the first draft was disorganized, riddled with grammatical and spelling errors, and written in a tone that has all of us (because they signed the letter as coming from everyone in our year, despite the fact that less than half of us were at the zoom meeting in which all of this was discussed - i was not present for that) coming across as childish and whiny. one of my classmates, someone who is older than most of us and has actual experience in academic administration, edited that draft to make it legible, concise, and professional. i’m not personally invested in sending this document along, but if it does get sent, i want it to be something that at the very least reflects the fact that i’m a semi-mature adult graduate student who is capable of posing concerns and questions to the school without making it a “woe is me, things aren’t just as i like them” situation. this classmate removed redundancies and statements that would either be unclear or counterproductive and even went as far as providing explanations to the rest of us as to why those parts had been taken out, which to me shows so much care and respect for the rest of us and i appreciate so much

but surprise, surprise, the people who wrote up the first draft had to go and make it a personal issue and made it out as if they were being censored for having their specific complaints not included verbatim. i followed along with the groupchats and took the time to read both of the drafts, and i CANNOT BELIEVE how petty the complaining classmates have to be to be getting so worked up over the new version. all of the actual concerns and questions from the original are still there. not only that, but this new version makes sure to point out any potential steps to be taken to address the issues. the only things that were removed were things that had already been said, didn’t make sense, or were straight up complaints with no path forward. and some of my classmates are so self-involved that they think if their specific words aren’t included that they’ve had their voices “redacted” from the discussion

like SO MUCH of what’s been agreed upon is really relevant but the way the contrarians want to present it makes it sound so entitled and pretentious and individualistic and unreasonable

in this letter we’re addressing an academic institution. we are, apparently, sending this document collectively as a group. if my name is going to be attached to this i expect its content and composition to represent me the right way. there is a level of professionalism and removal-of-self that has to be expected here if we’re to be taken seriously. there’s one person in my class who insists that there’s no need to conform to these standards of conduct in order to “defy normativity” and “deconstruct systems of power,” which on the surface is true, but when it comes to the issues that we have, it seems, deemed urgent and want to be taken into actual consideration by the people who have the power to do something about it, i think being grammatically correct, direct with action that can actually be taken, and respectful is the least we can do and tbh so much of what they’re saying comes across as the most performative bullshit and stemming from a need to “be the change” and appear as the leader of some kind of woke movement in a really superficial way

i am just so frustrated that as one of the youngest people in my class i seem to be one of the only ones mature enough to see that. some of the people i’m venting about here are 10+ years my senior and are talking to the rest of us the way vindictive high school mean girls would. the lack of logical thinking and willingness to walk the walk when it comes to the collaboration they claim to want so badly is just fucking staggering to me. there is such a lack of respect for fellow classmates and an obvious lack of faith in administration that makes it really seem to me like they don’t even care what gets done, if anything, based on this letter as long as they get to be the ones to pose their complaints

#a story about my life #this got SO much longer than i meant it to but i really had to get this rant out #i'm really sorry i don't remember how to make this and under the cut post #writing this at 2:45am tho so hopefully it doesn't clog people's feeds too much