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#it only mentions that this was done over a fic depicting him
cupofjeon · 2 days
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Lion’s Den (Preview)
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↳ Summary: You should have seen the warning signs. It’s been there since the day Jungkook started showing his more than friends affection towards you. Hindsight is, indeed, twenty-twenty, and now you’re reaping the false belief you sowed about the man you once loved. By the time your rose-colored glasses shattered, it was too late. You’ve already entered the lion’s den. 
↳ Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Producer!Fem!Reader
↳ Genre: Yandere | ↳ Type of fic: Oneshot
↳ Disclaimer: The story below the cut is fictitious only. It does not depict Jungkook or any of the other idols mentioned and featured in this story in real life. The author does not condone this type of behavior. Minors do not interact with this story. Ageless blogs will be blocked on the presumption that you are underaged.
↳ Warnings: Blackmailing, threats, noncon, slapping, marking, hair pulling, manipulation, forced marriage, control over women’s reproductive health, physical assault, violence, abusive behavior and relationship. 
↳ Teaser Word Count: 782 | ↳ Release Date: Within the month
↳ Taglist: Open (To be added, you must have age in your bio or anywhere in your blog that is easily seen. Otherwise, you will not be tagged and will be blocked.) Please comment below or send author an ask off anon.
━━ “Show you what devotion is, deeper than the ocean is.”
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You look at the time on your computer, 12:17 am. You haven’t even realized it’s past midnight already. Jungkook slides the box towards you then flicks the can of soft drink on the side, a trick he swore would make the drink less carbonated, before opening it and placing it beside the dish. How can he act so sweet one minute and then be cruel the next? You take the chopstick from his hand, pulling them apart, and shift on your seat as you begin to eat. 
“What are you working on?” he asks as he prepares his own meal. 
You chew and swallow your food before answering him. “Song for Enha.” 
“Yeah? What is it called?” 
“Bills,” you tell him. He glances at you, giving you a knowing look. You understand what the look means. You sigh. “It’s a song about a break up, but it’s not about our break up.”
“Why? You didn’t want to write one ‘cos you know you’ll come back to me anyway?” Jungkook asks with a chuckle. 
“No, I didn’t write any songs about our break up because it wasn’t worth it,” you reply, shrugging your shoulders as you continue eating. Instinctively, you glance at him, and you see Jungkook looking at you with his jaw tensed. You hit a nerve—you hit more than just a nerve, but perhaps his entire ego, and nothing is more fragile than a man’s ego. 
A part of you swells in pride knowing you’ve hurt his ego, but the other part of you mentally scolds yourself for saying what you said. Jungkook is a ticking time bomb; the last thing you want is for him to explode. “Sorry,” you say, sucking your teeth. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just continue eating, please.” 
“How did you go from loving me to hating me, Y/N? I’ve done nothing but love you. Why did you suddenly leave me?” Jungkook asks, his tone indicating he’s hurt which takes you aback. 
Jungkook—the man who forced himself upon you last night, who slapped you, who threatened to kill your brother if you don’t oblige to his requests and blackmailed you—hurt? It gives you a whiplash just thinking about it. He’s fucking delusional, you conclude. 
“Jungkook, you changed,” you say. “You—,”
“Just because someone you love changed doesn’t mean you leave them,” he hisses. 
“You leave when they’ve changed for the worst, Jungkook, and you changed for the worst. You became controlling,” your breathing is ragged, but you swallow the lump in your throat as you continue your tirade. 
“At first, I let it go because I loved you and I’ve known you since we were fifteen and I know how possessive you can be, but I told myself it was just because you’ve always been insecure even when you had no reason to. Then, it escalated. Suddenly, you always wanted to check my phone, always wanting to be here at my studio or wherever I am when I’m working because you’re paranoid about the people I work with, dictating what I should and shouldn’t wear, and you disrespected my boundaries when I clearly established them with you especially in sex. You no longer see me as your girlfriend or even as Y/N, your friend before being your girlfriend; you treated me like I’m an object, like I’m your property.” 
“I did all those for you, Y/N. You didn’t see what I saw. Those people you work with—that fucking Jang Yijeong and Kim Woosung—it’s clear they want you. They practically eye fuck you every time you’re in the goddamn room! You’re my girlfriend. It’s only natural that I do everything to let them know you’re mine,” Jungkook reasons, shaking his head at your tirade. 
“They’re my co-workers, Jungkook! Yijeong, he’s like family to me now much like how Yoongi is because they taught me everything I know about songwriting and producing. And Woosung? He’s my friend. I’m allowed to have male friends.” 
“You’re so naive, baby, it frustrates me so much,” he scoffs, poking his cheek with his tongue as he narrows his gaze at you. 
“Tell me there’s a part of you that understands where I’m coming from,” you desperately say, but you’re met with the coldness of his eyes. You shut your eyes tightly. “Jungkook, I broke up with you because I finally saw you for who you truly are. You don’t love me; you want to own me.”
“I told you I’ll show you how devoted I am to you,” Jungkook quips, chuckling to himself. You shiver at his lighthearted disposition. “I love you, Y/N. It’s only right that I get to you all to myself because I’m all yours.” 
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━━ “You wrap around me and you give me life.” END
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sailoryooons · 5 months
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Gods of the Dark | Two | myg (m)
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☾ Pairing: Dream god!Yoongi x f. human!reader
☾ Summary: Don’t ask for help in the dark. It’s an old tale you always heard whispered among the people of your village. But when you find yourself dragged kicking by the man you’re to marry, you have little choice but to beg for help long after the sun has set. The god who answers your pleas promises to save you, but every deal comes with a price. 
☾ Word Count: 21,443
☾ Genre: Fantasy, angst, strangers to lovers, smut
☾ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 
☾ Warnings: Sexist and patriarchal society inspired by medieval europe, a lot of world building and discussion about theories/concept of dreams, discussions of morals and ethics, world building, angst, mentions/light depictions of an abusive family, discussions of gender roles and forced marriages, attempted murder via arson, sexual dream sequences, depictions of oral (f. receiving), exposed bodies (in a brothel), pining, townsfolk essentially bullying reader, intense nightmare sequences, light depictions of PTSD (including memories of almost drowning/being physically attacked), explicit language, idiots who are obviously into one another being idiots, recreational drinking, topics of desire, feelings of shame, depictions of anxiety and fear, slight voyeurism, attempted murder
☾ Published: December 2, 2023
☾ A/N: It's finally here! This chapter took so long to write and I want to apologize for how long it took. The creative process can be so difficult sometimes, and I have been having a very hard year, which reflects in my writing. Thank you for sticking with me - I really hope this chapter is okay. This originally wasn't going to be as slow of a burn as it is, but this is where the story took me naturally, so I hope that's okay with everyone. I am going to be adding an extra chapter to this now to tell the story the way I want, so we will have five total chapters to this. I am already working on chapter three, and my goal is to write just this series until the next three chapters are done! Note: The sections of italics are used to indicate dream sequences for this fic - the way I use these are very specific and with intent... that's the only hint I will give you.
A huge thank you to @here2bbtstrash for being my beta reader - I give them huge beta projects with very little time to do them, and this story would not be nearly as polished or tuned as it is now without them. Also thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging and patient with me - your kind words are not lost on me and I'm thankful for you all!
☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.
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Eyes in the sky crying geysers How dare I have private desires
-
First is your mother’s screaming. It’s loud enough to make you clap your hands over your ears, wincing as she drops all of the things in her hands. Second is your father storming into the house like a hurricane, an axe clutched in his hand from cutting wood in the yard. When he sees you, he blanches and takes a few steps back, raising the axe. 
“Demon,” he whispers. He reaches for your mother and pulls her behind him. “You are a demon.” 
“No, I-”
Without a warning, your father launches the axe at you. You scream, arms going up to block your face, unable to dodge the attack. There’s a loud crack as the axe hits an invisible barrier. You feel your hand fly to your open mouth, staring at the axe that’s now hewn in two on the floor. 
Silence follows the destruction of the weapon. In that silence, it occurs to you that your father has attempted to kill you, and was only stopped by whatever protection Yoongi promised you. The realization is dizzying and you stumble away from your parents a little, bumping into the wall that separates the kitchen and the entryway. 
No one says anything at first. Your mother clings to your father, trembling violently. Her hair is greyer than you remember and it looks like the last few days haven’t been kind to her. But she has always been soft and weak.
It’s your father who no longer looks the same. Always such an imposing figure in your life, he looks aged. His face is wrinkled, his hair is grey. His presence is so much smaller than you remember, once full of rage and ferocity, now just a terrified man in a doorway. 
You cannot believe this is the man you’ve spent most of your life afraid of. Where once stood a great fear of yours now stands nothing more than a shadow of a man. Weak. Afraid. Vulnerable. 
“You can’t hurt me anymore,” you say in a voice much steadier than you feel. “You can’t marry me off, you can’t make me burn my books, and you can’t hurt me anymore.”
“What kind of demon are you?”
It occurs to you that you could tell him you’re not a demon. You’re just you, with a little added protection. But the realization that they are afraid of you wakes up something ugly inside of you. Something oily, that slithers, something wicked and sharp.
You don’t have to tell them you’re not a demon. You don’t have to tell them that you are. They have come to that conclusion themselves, and it has put them beneath you. Afraid of you. You’re more powerful than you’ve ever been in this home. 
So you let them think you are. “The kind that survived Nathaniel Laudermill beating me in the woods and trying to drown me.” 
Your father straightens. “That wasn’t supposed to happen! You weren’t supposed to run and he- he wasn’t supposed to hurt you.”
“Well, he did. And he paid for it, didn’t he?” 
When you say it, you have a sneaking suspicion that Nathaniel Laudermill is dead. When your father nods feebly at your question, the knowledge slides into place. You don’t feel bad. It almost horrifies you that you don’t, but you think of the burning in your lungs, his nails against your skin, the roaring of the water. 
You’re glad Nathaniel is dead.
“What do you want from us? Money? Our lives?”
“Nothing.” You realize it’s true, suddenly stricken with wondering why you came back at all. “I want you to go about your lives, and let me do what I will.” 
Pushing off the wall, you turn around and head out the front door. You feel their eyes on you as you go, but you don’t look back.
For now, you walk out into the woods. Crickets chirp happily, growing quiet as you walk by and starting once again when you’re a distance from them. Under the shade of the trees, it’s cold. The river isn’t flooded up into the woods anymore, but the ground is soft beneath your feet, mud giving way to your steps.
It feels different when you walk through the woods this time. They aren’t as vibrant. No Tiera is lurking in the boughs of the wisteria. There’s no lake with merfolk peering at you with large, alien eyes. A world that was once so full of life and peace feels unsaturated now. Devoid of color. 
A nasty feeling creeps up on you as you walk. You look for the creatures of the wood, hoping to see their bright colors and little lives. A snake slithers away from you, but it’s just that. A snake with normal scales, in a normal bush. A rabbit rushes by, quick as lightning, a blur of fur.
None of the birds have plumes of purple feathers. There’s no trilling song that sounds like dreams spun into notes, no smell of drifting sweetness on the wind. The air is damp and cold, and it smells like fresh earth and water. But there’s nothing about it that seems as vibrant as before.
By the river, the water rushes as fast as your thoughts. You weren’t sure what to expect when you came home, but it wasn’t this. It wasn’t your parents thinking you were a demon, but that isn’t the worst part. 
The worst part is that only after two weeks, your world has lost its magic. It pales in comparison to Yoongi’s world or even your imagination. You stare at the water you used to think rushed with so much promise, the waxy leaves that used to contain so many shades of green. Now they’re just leaves and the river is just water. 
A tingle presses at your neck. You turn, expecting Yoongi to be looming behind you. There’s no one there, but the feeling of awareness doesn’t go away. Frowning, you lean against the tree and stare out into the woods unseeing. 
Clove and cinnamon hang in the air. You close your eyes, inhaling. The tingle at the back of your neck feels familiar. In your mind, you feel it like a phantom touch, sliding from your neck across your shoulder, dragging down the length of your arms until there is a soft twitch in your palm. 
It’s easy to imagine Yoongi this way. But when you open your eyes, Yoongi isn’t there. The feeling doesn’t go away. But you always have that feeling out here, the something of other. Your heart flutters at the thought of the god lurking somewhere that you can’t see. 
A silly thought. You brush it away, trying not to delude yourself into fantasies that Yoongi has any interest in you beyond your deal and beyond that night in the woods where you asked for help. Yoongi’s kindness is just that, and though you dream of him often, you know the difference between your dreams and reality. 
Instead of leaving to go back to the house, you sit down on the ground. Closing your eyes, you imagine a brighter world. A more magical world. It’s easier to do this than to contend with the fact that the woods you loved so dearly are not as you remember them. 
This, at least, is familiar. Sitting in the woods for hours and imagining worlds away from yours. Now, you imagine a specific world, made up of twilight and mountains in the distance. With a wonderful castle full of rooms saturated with candlelight and books you’re learning how to read.
When your stomach growls, you’re forced to stop your imagination and get up. You feel a bit better, knowing that you can at least remember what Yoongi’s dream realm looks like. Two weeks. You have two weeks until you can go back, and until then, Yoongi expects you to study. 
Back at the house, your parents stare in silence when you enter. You hardly look at them, walking to the kitchen as though they are merely ghosts harboring the same space as you. Your movements are methodical as you make yourself lunch. When you reach for the knife to cut cheese, you feel the pointed look of your parents. 
Part of you wants to turn around and scream at them to scare them. Another part of you has divorced the idea of them as your parents already. Yet you do nothing, biting a piece of cheese as you finish plating your meal and go to your room. They say nothing. 
Sitting on your bed, you eat your meal. The world is quiet for the most part, though the muted sound of nature hums beyond your closed window. You realize there is a desk in your room stacked with books, parchment, and inkwells. 
Heart racing, you get up from your bed and cross the room. You wipe your fingers on your shirt as you pick up a note written in Yoongi’s neat scrawl. You chew your lip as you look at the swirls and dips of letters on paper, immediately intimidated at the prospect of making sense of the writing. 
You take the note with you to the bed and begin to parse the letters and sentences apart. It takes all of your concentration, going over the sounds each letter makes in your head to build a word. It’s not fast work and it isn’t easy, but after a while, you work out the first sentence. 
Do not forget to practice every day. 
A smile makes your mouth twitch, both in pride that you managed to work out the sentence and at the thought of Yoongi hunched over his desk writing you a note.  
The second sentence is trickier. Afternoon light pours through your window as you spend another fifteen minutes sounding out the letters, quietly muttering them to yourself until you’ve got full words to build the sentence.
I will be watching, so you better practice as often as you can. 
You bite your lip. It sounds like a playful threat, quietly muttered in one of Yoongi’s teasing moments. You can almost hear the soft rasp of his voice and picture the smirk that would accompany his words. You shiver before reading the final sentence. 
Sleep well, and dream as often as you can.
The desk is a nice touch. You don’t remember seeing it this morning and you wonder how it got there. Remembering Yoongi’s magic is overwhelming. You’re still unsure what the limits of his power are, if there are any at all. 
Hunched over the papers, you begin to trace letters again. It feels good to have the quill in your hand. You’re careful not to spill the ink all over the paper like you do when you’re practicing in the library - you have a limited amount of parchment here, compared to Yoongi’s endless amounts in the House of Dreams. 
It does beg the question whether he’ll drop you off more magical paper if you run out, though. 
By the time your hand is cramping too much to practice more and your head hurts, it’s evening. Your parents are locked away in their room when you come out. You can hear the soft voice of your mother go silent when they hear you enter the kitchen for food before heading out to the porch.
Twilight skies stretch above you. Sitting on the edge of the porch, you watch the world fade from purple to black. The stars begin to dot the sky, the moon making her climb upward. You grin, feeling relieved that maybe not all of your world has lost its magic. 
Perhaps it’s just the light of day you’re no longer interested in. The night is far more mysterious and alluring, calling to you as you finish your last bite of dinner. You set your plate down on the porch and hop down, feeling the soft grass beneath your bare feet.
The last time you entered the woods in the dark, you were almost killed. That memory alone makes you pause at the edge of the woods. Your mouth dries a little bit and though the urge to step into the shadow of the night is strong, the memory of Nathaniel’s hands on your hair is stronger.
You turn around quickly and walk back to the house, picking up the plate along the way. It feels shameful to be afraid of the dark woods, a sour taste in your mouth as you lock yourself in your room and crawl onto the bed. 
Closing your eyes, you try not to think about Nathaniel. His yelling haunts you, the phantom grip of his fingers pulling your hair, the way your mouth filled with water- a hooting owl disturbs your spiraling thoughts. 
You open your eyes, straining your ears, only to find silence. Just as you begin to close your eyes again, you hear the hoot once more. Turning toward the window next to your bed, you sit up and pop the latch, casting open one of the shutters. 
Above the house, the moon is a glowing coin in the sky. Everything her light touches is awash in grey. Sticking your head out of the window, you sweep your gaze back and forth, trying to look for the sound of the hooting.
As though it senses your gaze, the owl hoots again. You see it this time. A great horned owl stares at you from its perch on top of a pile of chopped wood. Its eyes are burnished gold, like two burning beacons in the night. It’s a stunning owl, all browns and whites, feathers luminous under the sheen of the moon. It moves its head in a circle, opening and closing its beak.
Then, the owl surprises you. You flinch and sit backward on your haunches as it takes flight, great wings flapping as it flies to your window and lands on the ledge. You gasp in delight. The creature is far bigger up close, its ochre eyes warm and intelligent. 
The back of your neck tingles familiarly and you smile. 
“Are you supposed to watch over me?” The owl chirps, a much higher-pitched noise than the hoot. “Hmm. I see. Do you have a name?”
The owl bobs its head from side to side in an uncanny movement. Though you’re not sure, you think it means to tell you no. “Well, what if I give you one?” The owl chirps again. “What about… Moony?” 
Fluffing its feathers, the owl shifts back and forth and lets out a hiss. You giggle, covering your mouth as the bird settles, looking at you in a way that certainly feels haughty and bothered. “Alright. What about… Dream?” Another hiss and a bob no. “Okay, well you’re making this quite difficult. What about…”
A dozen names run through your mind. You think of the owl as Yoongi’s way to watch over you at night. It makes you feel warm and far less alone than you were before. It’s nice knowing that you have a protector, someone to warn Yoongi if you’re ever in danger. Or to steer you away from your bad thoughts.
“How about Guardian?” you offer. It blinks two large eyes before chirping and bobbing its head in a circle, pleased at the name. You grin and slowly reach your hand forward. “I like it. Guardian, then.” 
Gently, the owl leans forward and lets you brush its feathers. They are silky under your touch, each plume delicate and wonderful. You can’t help but smile, stroking the owl's chest until it shuffles back and forth and gives a short hoot.
“Go on,” you urge. “Do whatever you need to do. I’ll leave the window open?”
Guardian hoots in affirmation before shuffling its wings and flying off into the night. 
Laying in your back, you stare up through the open window, watching the stars go past. Slowly, you feel sleep pull at your edges, beckoning you to give in. You finally do, drifting asleep under the silver light of the moon and a blanket of stars. 
-
Yoongi sits in front of the fireplace in the library. You blink a few times, a little dazed. You don’t remember how you got here, but you know the smell of this library and you know that shadowy frame better than anything. It suddenly makes you ache to realize how much you miss it already. 
As if sensing your presence, Yoongi turns to look at you. He smirks, showing no sign of surprise at seeing you standing behind him. He gestures to the armchair next to him and you grin, quick to join him. 
Warmth leaps from the fireplace, the logs popping and crackling under the hungry, orange flames. Yoongi is dressed in a simple linen shirt and pants, his necklaces reflecting the burning light. He watches you sit down and fold your feet onto the chair. 
“Am I here? Or am I dreaming?” you ask. 
“Are both not possible?”
You think about it. “Well yes, I suppose they are. I’m dreaming but I can come here because I’m dreaming.”
“Clever girl.” Yoongi’s eyes dance as he looks you up and down. “How was your first day back?”
“Strange. I…” You chew on your lip, wrapping your arms around your legs. Suddenly, you feel more at home than you did earlier that day in the place you were raised. You think about the woods out behind your house, the alien way you felt among trees that should be familiar. “It feels as though the world doesn’t hold as much magic anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like here. It is so vibrant and beyond imagining that now that I’ve gone back… nothing compares.”
Yoongi hums. “I promise you that there is so much magic in your world. There is real magic in living that cannot be found among the imaginary.” 
You rest your chin on your knees and sigh heavily. “If only I could find it.” 
“You will.” 
Silence passes between you. It’s comfortable. You watch the dancing fire, the world fading away. Though you are acutely aware that Yoongi is staring at your side profile, you don’t squirm or feel anxiety. You simply feel peace, happy to be here. Happy to be with him.
That makes your stomach flutter. At least you’re not dreaming of him in ways you shouldn’t tonight. As soon as you think about it, you feel your cheeks heat up hotter than the flames from the fireplace. 
After a little while Yoongi sighs, drawing your attention back to him. “You should sleep.” 
“I thought I was.”
“Sort of. You’re more… dreamwalking right now. You’re not really resting.” 
“Do I have to stay here?” The question is small. You don’t meet his eyes when you ask, suddenly filled with shame that you can’t even last a day in the world you’ve known for over twenty years. “There’s nothing for me here.”
“There is. You just have to find it again.”
“I don’t know how.” 
Yoongi stands up. You look up at him and see that his expression is soft. Kind. Your heart speeds up, tongue heavy in your mouth as he slowly reaches out to you. His hand hesitates for a second, pauses in mid-air like he’s unsure, and then he touches your cheek lightly. “Trust me.” 
Before you can respond, Yoongi is walking away. The skin on your cheek tingles where his fingers were a moment before, a shiver racing up your spine. You lift your hands to touch your cheek where his fingers were moments ago. You can’t help but smile, fondness for him growing. Blooming. 
Leaning back in the chair, you close your eyes and settle into real sleep. 
-
Tap tap tap. 
You twitch your nose and roll your head to the side, sniffing. For a moment, it felt like something had been tapping your nose, almost waking you from sleep. You start to sink back into it, pulling your covers tighter as your thoughts drift… further…
Tap tap tap. 
You frown. Now you’re awake, your thoughts clawing their way to break the surface of sleep. When you finally collect yourself and register that you’re waking up, you open your eyes to reveal a face hovering inches from yours, so close that you cannot make out the features. 
A shriek rips through your room as you scramble away from the face, clutching your blanket. You slam into the wall near the window, heart hammering as you press yourself flat, trying to make yourself small. 
Taehyung falls backwards on his ass, covering his ears and giving you a ghastly expression, as though horrified to be screamed at in such a manner. Your hand clutches your chest as you realize it’s him sitting on your floor and him who had been inches from your face - tapping your nose. 
“What are you doing?” you holler at him, fisting your blankets. You suddenly feel sick, the adrenaline making your stomach turn and your head spin. Groaning, you lay on your side, squeezing your eyes shut. Colors coalesce behind your eyelids as you take deep breaths, hoping it will pass. “Are you insane?”
“Well, that is up for debate.” 
You open your eyes and glare at him. 
Taehyung sits with his long legs out in front of him, leaning back on his palms. His dark hair hangs in his eyes as he grins at you, giddy. He’s dressed in a flowing white shirt with laces at the front that he’s kept open, revealing a tanned chest. His shirt is tucked into brown trousers and you spot a small chain with a charm tied through one of his belt loops.
You think you recognize the charm from one of Yoongi’s necklaces. 
“What are you doing here?” 
“Visiting, obviously.”
“You can just… visit?” 
“I do what I want.” 
As the adrenaline rush fades, you slowly sit up, glaring at the man on your floor. “I doubt that. How did you get in here, anyway?” 
“Your window is open.” 
The window in question is still wide open from last night, only now, morning light streams through. The air is cool and smells of rain, the wind rushing through the trees and making them bend and dance under its guidance. A robin flits from bough to bough, singing. 
“So you came through the window?” 
“No, I came through the front door. No one else is home.” 
“Then why did you say you came through the window?”
“I didn’t. I said the window was open.” Taehyung gives you a white, square grin. You clench your teeth and resist the urge to throw a pillow at him. Though you’re pleased to see him, you’re equally as vexed by his teasing. “Anyway, I want you to show me around.”
“Show you around what?” 
He gets up from the floor, clapping his hands together to get rid of the dirt and dust before doing the same to his pants. He shrugs, giving you a cheery smile. “I don’t know. Anything. Everything. I want to see what your life here was like.” 
“It wasn’t very good.”
“That’s okay. I want to see it anyway.” 
Slowly, you get out of bed. He makes room for you, walking over toward the desk where your writing practice sheets are. He flips through them, examining your work as you eye him, stretching. Your joints pop and you groan, eyes fluttering at the release of tension. 
“Why?” you ask. He looks up at you, brows raised in a question. “Why do you want to see?”
Taehyung contemplates his answer. He taps one long finger on top of your tracing. “You’re getting better.” He leans against the desk and crosses his arms, regarding you steadily. “I’ll make you a deal. Show me about your life here. Teach me about you. And I’ll tell you about me.” 
That sparks your interest. You know so little about Taehyung, even in the two weeks that you’ve lived in the House of Dreams. He is a charming mystery, someone who speaks in riddles and likes to goad you and talk about so much that you realize he talks about nothing at all. At least, not anything substantial. 
For the amount of things you know about Taehyung, like how he enjoys cinnamon in his tea or that his favorite color is green like the bottom of the lake, or how his favorite snacks are honey cakes or that music makes him cry, you also know… nothing about him. Where he comes from. Who he was before he was Yoongi’s companion in a big, lonely castle. 
Sighing, you walk up to him and extend your arm. “Deal.”
Taehyung’s hand is warm and tingles when you shake it. He grins at you, happier than ever before he drops your hand and gestures at your clothes. “Well go on,” he says. “Change out of your nighties. Unless of course, you’d like to stay in them.”
“Get out of my room and I will!”
He raises his brows. “Don’t want me to watch? How boring.” 
You don’t take his teasing to heart. You’ve already adapted to Taehyung’s jesting and prodding, learning that it’s a key part to the way that he shows his affections. For the first few days, you’d thought perhaps he didn’t like you much, but after seeing him rib Yoongi for two hours straight in the library, you realized it was good that he was teasing you.
You open the small trunk of clothes and slide on pants and a loose shirt. When you enter the main house, you find Taehyung standing on the porch with his arms crossed over his chest, looking into the woods with a frown. Tucking in your shirt, you step out onto the porch, the wood creaking underneath your weight. 
“What is it?” you ask when Taehyung doesn’t turn to greet you. His eyes are dark and there’s an expression on his face that makes you nervous. “Is there something out there?”
Instead of answering directly, he asks, “Is that where Yoongi found you?” 
Oh. Oh. Taehyung is looking at the woods where you ran off the night that your parents tried to make you marry Nathaniel. You nod and hum, trying not to think much about it as you finish tucking in the shirt and adjusting the material. 
“There’s a bad energy there,” Taehyung observes. He turns away from the woods finally and drops his hands at his side. “You should stay away from that place moving forward.”
“I didn’t exactly go in there on purpose.”
“I know.” Something flashes in his eyes. “Best not to do it again, if you can help it. You can go into the woods, just not there.” 
“Okay…” 
You wait for Taehyung to elaborate, but he doesn’t. A chill settles over your skin, the wind picking up to rustle the trees. He shrugs and grins, the dark expression gone in a flash as he gestures for you to enter back through the house and leave by way of the front door. 
Taheyung follows you, a bounce to his step as he hurries to walk next to you. You say nothing as you lead him out of the yard and toward the main road by your home that leads into town, your stomach fluttering with nervousness as you go. 
If Taehyung is confused as to why you’re not starting the story of your life at home, he doesn’t let on. He tucks his hands into his pockets and walks next to you, his feet crunching the gravel beneath his boots and the wind lifting his hair.
Studying Taehyung’s side profile, you think he looks like something from a dream. He has the kind of beauty that seems purposeful and handcrafted, each one of his features carefully designed to be the wonderful, glowing being that he is. 
You don’t know what he is, really. But you’ve made a deal and you have to deliver on your end first. 
“We live a bit away from town,” you say eventually. “My father inherited the house after his father, who was a very talented wood carver. He used to cut the trees here himself and decide which tree was perfect for what project, which is why we live almost thirty minutes from town.” 
“A wood carver is a nice talent to have.”
You nod. “He was very good. It made a good income. My father had no talent for it, though, and opened up a store instead. He sold my grandfather’s wares and then eventually added items from other folks in town, including my mother's clothes. She’s a seamstress.” 
“You were wearing a dress the night Yoongi brought you home.”
Home. Taehyung says it so easily, like he’s already accepted that the House of Dreams is yours as much as it’s his. A warm feeling blooms through you, and you look up at Taehyung and smile at him despite the looming subject of the doomed wedding dress. He returns your smile just as broadly, even if he doesn’t know the reason for your sudden turn of happiness. 
“Yeah. That was one she made,” you sigh, turning back to the road. “A wedding dress.” 
“It was beautiful, but I did burn it in the fire.” You look at him with your brows raised and he gives you a sheepish shrug. “You were assaulted in that dress. We wanted nothing to do with it.”
“I’m glad that you did. I never want to remember that night again.”
“Good. Memories have a way of haunting us, even when we don’t know it.” 
Taehyung’s tone is ominous. Instead of asking him what he means, you let his weighted silence fall around you, propelling the both of you toward the town. 
As you get closer, houses and other roads begin to pop up. You see the pathways leading up to the homes of your neighbors, pointing out each one to Taehyung along with filling him in on summaries of their family histories and gossip. He listens with a conspiratorial smirk, gasping and asking you scandalous questions as you whisper rumors you’ve long heard from eavesdropping on your parents. 
Gossiping with Taehyung is nice. You feel lighter than you had the day before, nearly skipping as you near the town proper. You start passing people on the road. Normally, you’d greet the ones you know. Now, you hear gasps as people flinch when they see you, making signs with their hands to ward off evil. 
You blink in surprise, glancing at Taehyung for his reaction. He frowns when he sees the second group of people do it. By the third, he pulls a snarling face at them, making a child cry. You jam your finger in his ribs and he hisses in pain, shoving lightly back.
“What?” he demands. “You’re not evil. That sign doesn’t do anything, either. If one of the more malevolent deities wanted to snatch them, they would.”
“Really?”
Taehyung rubs his ribs where you poked him. You pass the bakery owned by the Yen family, heavenly smells wafting out the door. “Of course they would,” he huffs. “Most deities aren’t bound by the rules and logic the mortals try to make to create a sense of safety from them. Many can simply do what they want.”
“Then why don’t they?”
“Because of Eternals, like Yoongi. The gods who are always here, never changing. That’s why they’re called Eternals.” 
“I see. There’s seven of them, right?” Taehyung hums the affirmative. As you pass a music shop, Taehyung slows. His hands are linked behind his back as he eyes the instruments through the window and gestures at them. You nod and follow him indoors, the bell on the door above chiming. “So other deities are afraid of them?”
“Of course they are,” Taehyung muses. He stops to admire a mandolin. “Yoongi, for example, is a being that creates dreams themselves. He manipulates reality. He can create things on a whim. He’s almost as powerful as life.”
“Really?”
“What are dreams if not creation? The difference isn’t all that big, though it drives Seokjin mad to admit it.”
“Who?”
Taehyung plucks the string of another instrument. You don’t know what it is, but the note is sharp, making you cringe. “Life, of course.”
“You know Life? What are you?”
He glances at you sidelong. “We’re supposed to learn about you first. I’m doing a lot of talking.”
“Not like it’s hard to get you going,” you mutter. 
Taeyung shoots you a scowl, but is interrupted by the shop owner coming around the corner. He’s a man in his late thirties, greeting Taehyung politely and wiping his hands on his trousers. He asks Taehyung if he’s looking for anything and just as Taehyung leans out of the way to reveal you standing behind him, the shop owner’s eyes go to you and he gasps, stumbling backward. 
“You’re supposed to be dead,” he whispers, his back bumping into a shelf of items. You feel a shiver slip down your spine as you stare at him, arms tingling. He makes the symbol to ward off evil, the whites of his eyes wild. “Evil. Evil creature, you are a demon. You do not-”
“Another word,” Taehyung cuts in, his voice dark in a tone you’ve never heard. “And I’ll show you what evil is, sir.” 
“G-god of Light spare me.”
“Your God of Light won’t answer.” Taehyung spins on his heel, facing you. His expression is thunder, his gaze dark and eyes wild as he hisses, “Speak their name all you wish. It's not daytime in here, sir.” 
For the two weeks you’ve known Taehyung, you’ve never seen him like this. The room feels oppressive and dark, and you swear the lights have dimmed, shadows pressing up against the wall as Taehyung strides forward and passes you, taking your arm firmly in his hand.
Taehyung escorts you out of the store, walking swiftly. When you hit daylight, the oppressive dark sheds itself immediately. Taehyung’s presence dims with the sun beating down on him and turning his skin copper, black hair shining almost blue in the light.
He lets go of your arm and shoots you a troubled gaze. “Don’t listen to him,” he grunts. “You’re not a demon, nor are you evil.”
“My parents called me the same thing.” He scowls and begins pacing. To keep him moving, you start walking toward the other side of town where the old cemetery and abandoned church is. You don’t know why you go there, but you’re drawn to it. “They called me a demon.” 
“Demons are much nastier. You might be annoying, but certainly not a demon.”
You scowl and he shrugs. “I didn’t realize everyone here thought I died. I thought I would come back and it would be…”
“Normal?” You shrug a shoulder. 
The houses on the edge of town are shabbier than the rest. People hesitate in their doorways, staring at you and the tall, handsome man next to you. You see them do the warding sign as you go, and you squeeze your hands into fists as they do. 
Weeds crawl up the side of the old church. The structure leans heavily to the left, the stairs unusable and the ceiling fallen in. Instead of walking up the hazardous steps and inside the dilapidated building, you lead Taehyung around it, where the grass grows higher than your knees and the sound of grasshoppers buzzing by you follows. 
A dry-rotted fence surrounds what was once a graveyard. You walk toward it, leading Taehyung until he starts slowing down a few paces behind you. You stop and turn over your shoulder to look at him, bringing your hand up to shield your eyes from the sun. 
Taehyung looks thoughtful, dark eyes scanning the area. He’s stopped walking entirely, head cocked to the side. “Why’d you bring me here?” 
“I don’t know. I just… walked in this direction. I used to come here for the silence, sometimes.”
Taehyung has a strange look on his face. “Is that so?” 
“Why do you look like that?” 
“How long has this place been here?” 
“The church closed before I could remember. Honestly, they said it was haunted by this graveyard, which has been here a lot longer than the church. Even the oldest families in town don’t have their dead buried here. Rumor has it that it was built long before the town was.” 
Taehyung starts walking normally again. Side by side, you begin to navigate around the graveyard. “And you come here? Why?” 
“It’s quiet. When I was too young to stay at the house alone, my mom would bring me to town while she ran errands. I was allowed to explore, but I liked to come here.”
“Most kids are afraid of places of the dead.” 
You shrug. “It was quiet, and it gave me time to imagine things. I liked to make up fantasies about the old gods here or… what I imagined they might be. Of heroes descended from them, maybe.” 
“And you felt drawn here?” 
You startle when a grasshopper shoots across the grass in front of you. You laugh as it vanishes into the foliage. “Yeah, it just felt… safe.” 
“Strange.” 
“Am I allowed to ask why or are you going to complain you’re talking too much again?”  He snorts and gestures for you to continue. “Why is that strange? Beyond the fact that it’s, you know, a graveyard.” 
Sighing, Taehyung squints up at the line of trees nearby. His hand hovers along the tops of the grass as he runs it over each blade, letting the tips tickle his hands. You’re almost waist high in grass, glancing down to make sure you don’t step into any holes. 
“This place is old. The people of the church felt haunted because they were. Death owns this land.” 
You frown. “Well, the dead are here. The other graveyard doesn’t feel the same.”
“You misunderstand me. Death - the Eternal. His presence is all over. Someone important to him must be buried here.” 
“Oh.” 
You stop and think about that. Turning to look at the unmarked and lime washed tombstones, you scan for any sign of Death. You have no idea what you’re looking for. Ivy and time have taken over most of the concrete slabs, and none of the names or dates are legible by now. They’re just hewn stone, buried in green and grime. 
But you feel something here, a tingling on the back of your neck like the one you felt in the woods by your house. A chill wind blows over the land, sweeping the grass and rattling the trees. You feel the breeze against your neck, cool as fingers trailing down your spine. 
Suddenly, you feel a buzz on your skin. It’s not so different from Yoongi’s presence, and it chills you. 
You look up at Taehyung with wide, fearful eyes. He smiles and shakes his head. “You don’t need to be afraid of Death. Death is neither good nor bad, he just is. He only takes those who are ready.” 
“Have you met - um - Death?” 
Taehyung nods. “He is a man of few words, but Namjoon is unwaveringly kind and wise.”
“Strange that I was drawn to coming here.” You head back toward the town. The sun passes its zenith and makes its way into the early afternoon. “Is this whole place filled with Eternals or what?”
“No, it’s actually a rather unremarkable location. Namjoon lingers in many places. Yoongi was simply drawn here.” 
“By what?” 
Instead of answering the question, Taehyung sticks his hands in his pockets. “Show me more of your town.” 
So you do. Taehyung is a good companion. Where Yoongi would quietly observe and make sounds to indicate that he’s listening and admires the things you’re talking about, Taehyung asks questions. You realize he’s a tactile person as well. He touches things as he walks by them, brushing his fingers on fabric, touching jewelry at vendor stands.
Everywhere you go is a similar reaction to the instrument store. People seem happy to see Taehyung at first before they see you, fear making them lean away and ward you off. You realize you don’t know how much time has passed since you vanished from the woods and returned. 
When you ask Taehyung, he shrugs and explains that time moves differently and inconsistently. It could have been a day, it could have been a week, it could have been five months. By the looks on the faces of those you pass, you think perhaps it’s been a little longer than you anticipated.
Part of you wonders what lie your parents must have told them about your death. You almost want to ask, but you don’t, anxiety stilling your tongue. You probably wouldn’t be able to get close enough to anyone to ask anyway. 
By the time the sun has sunk beyond the horizon and the moon has begun its climb, you and Taehyung stop at the tavern to eat. Your stomach rumbles as you step into the warmth of the room behind Taehyung, and you notice that the place goes quiet.
It’s subtle at first, something you don’t notice as you kick dirt off your shoes, but the hush becomes so intense that you can’t help but look up, gaze sweeping the room as everyone turns to stare at you. 
Behind the counter, the barkeep straightens. His name is Sloan - you’ve known him since you were a little girl - and he looks less than happy at your arrival.
“I know I’m pretty,” Taehyung announces loudly, tossing the hair out his eyes. “But you don’t need to stare.”
“You aren’t welcome here,” Sloan says, voice wavering like he’s unsure if he means it. “Begone, demon. We are men and women of life and light!”
You swallow thickly and look around, feeling prickly heat crawl up your neck. 
Like at the music shop, something happens to Taehyung, except this time, it’s stronger than before. The candles in the chandelier and on the tables flicker in a phantom wind and darkness pulses in the room. You feel energy rolling off of him and you swear Taehyung gets darker as he steps forward, his presence oppressive and threatening. 
There is crying and gasping in the room as he seethes. “We are not demons, and you will not disallow this woman to enter your shops, your homes, or anywhere else she wishes.” 
“Taehyung,” you whisper, throat dry. 
He doesn’t seem to hear you. You swear there is thunder in the distance. Whatever power belonging to Taehyung is tenfold now that the night sky stretches over the tavern. “Refuse her service, and there will be consequences.”
“Taehyung,” you hiss, snatching his sleeve. You pull his attention to you. His eyes are like two obsidian coins. There is something sharp and lupine about his face, sending your heart hammering. “Stop. This is making it worse.” 
“They should not insult you.”
“It’s fine.”
He softens a touch. “It isn’t. You are not… they do not understand you.”
“They never have. Come on, let’s just go.”
For a second, you think he might not. You don’t know what Taehyung is or what he can do. It doesn’t frighten you, though. Because whatever Taehyung is and whatever his intentions are, he’s linked to Yoongi. Yoongi would never put you in harm's way or let Taehyung near you if he was a threat.
Even after such a short period of time, you know this in your heart of hearts.
Taehyung relents and the light returns to the room. No one makes a sound, all eyes on Taehyung as he lets you pull him out of the door and into the night. You immediately feel better outside, the moon washing your skin in light and the stars watching you march into the street. 
“You can’t just threaten everyone who insults me,” you snap, though you’re not really mad at him. “They’re only going to hate me more. And they will think you’re a demon when you do that.”
“I’m far more powerful than a demon,” he sniffs primly. “And they should not insult you. You have the favor of Dream. You are -” he cuts himself off and shakes his head. “Well, you’re far above their station. They know nothing.”
“Far above their station,” you snort, crushing a rock under the toe of your boot. “I’m a girl who was strange when they knew me before they thought I was dead, and now they think I’m a demon walking around with her scary demon husband. Or perhaps they think you are an evil entity.” 
“Don’t make that joke around Yoongi,” Taehyung mutters, putting his hands on his hips. Before you can ask what that means, he says, “What if I took you somewhere instead, then?”
You raise your brows and look around. “Where?”
“Well not here. Somewhere familiar to me, where they won’t ostracize you.”
“We’re going to travel in the middle of the night.”
Taehyung gives you a square grin that lights up the world. “Time to learn about how we travel.”
-
You almost vomit on Taehyung’s shoes. He squeals and steps out of the way as you bend over, holding your middle as bile burns its way up your throat and splatters onto the gravel beneath you. It feels like your world is spinning and you’ve lost your center of gravity, having been pulled by something sharp in your stomach into a vortex of what felt like twisting and spinning.
It could only have lasted a second, but Taehyung has to hold you up for a moment as you gasp for air, the taste in your mouth sour and gross. You crane your face to look at him, glaring as he winces. He had given you no warning of what his travel was like or how it would feel.
You’re not looking forward to it again.
“What,” you pant, “was that?”
“Teleportation, mostly. I kind of forgot what it feels like when you’re… human. You get a little scrambled.”
The nausea makes your throat clench and unclench again. You dig your fingers into his arm as you dry heave but nothing comes up. “A little?” you rasp. The world slows its spinning and the watering feeling in your mouth that preludes puking fades. “That was awful.”
“Sorry, it’s different than portaling. That’s more stepping through the door while teleportation is like... Jumping.”
“Don’t jump me again any time soon.”
Taehyung pats your back heartily as you stand up straight. The stars swim above you in a spiraling cosmos. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, waiting as the nausea fades away and the world around you bleeds into the forefront of your attention span. 
Noise hums from in front of you. You’re standing in an alleyway, looking up at the side of a building. It looks a bit like an inn, but you can hear the clamor of a crowd and loud voices coming from inside. Each window is curtained, keeping wandering eyes and the moonlight outside. 
Taehyung leads you around to the front of the building. It’s two stories and on the first floor there’s a porch filled with chairs and gambling tables. There are men and women draped over the furniture, smoking sweet-smelling cigars and laughing loudly as they throw dice on the table. 
Women and men in various states of undress sit on the laps of the others. You feel heat crawl up your neck as you avert your eyes, looking up at the sign hanging over the building that says Desert Rose. Nervousness tingles at the back of your neck as Taehyung strolls up the steps to what you’re sure is a brothel and a gambling den, greeting people as he goes.
You’re shocked that Taehyung knows people here. You’re sure that you’re still in… your dimension, as Yoongi calls it. The people here talk with an accent that is different from what you’re used to, but you still understand the language, even while struggling to keep up with the lilt.
Eyes follow you as Taehyung leads you inside. The air is thick with perfume, smoke, and loud voices. Tables are pressed closely together, filled with people. There’s a bar at the back of the room and a small bard and band in a corner, singing a raucous song with the crowd about Lady Trown who gets around and will go down. 
“Where did you bring me?” you ask Taehyung as he guides you through the rowdy room. A woman falls over a card game laughing, her breasts spilling out of her shirt while another woman plants a kiss right on her mouth. “This place is - is -”
There are no words for it. You’ve never been somewhere that is so openly indecent and carnal in your life and yet… the colors and the sounds and the overflowing joy hit you like an arrow to the chest. You can’t help but be drawn to look at the exposed bodies before darting your gaze away, only to be drawn somewhere else out of insatiable curiosity. 
“A haven!” Taehyung offers as he leans on the bar. “Two pints of whatever!” 
You press close against him, hands shooting to his shirt as someone pushes by you. It’s a little overwhelming and you feel hot all over. Taehyung shoves a wooden tankard of amber liquid into your hands and grins, raising another to his lips before taking several swigs, liquid running down his chin and neck. 
He comes away and smacks his lips, giving you a delighted grin. “It’s awful, just the way I like it!”
You take a sip and make a face. The watered-down ale is certainly nothing like the sweet wine Yoongi likes to treat you to over dinner. Taehyung seems to know this, laughing loudly as he leads you through the crowd toward an empty table in the corner. 
Back against the wall, you take a moment to look around the room. There are card and dice games being held at multiple tables, alongside other games with rune-marked stones, cups and trinkets that you don’t recognize.
It’s wildly different from anything back home. You’ve never been to a brothel - at least, you think this place qualifies for one, based on the various states of undress and a few couples doing something that makes you avert your eyes - but this is nice. In its own loud and carnal way.
Taehyung people-watches with you. He feeds you information on the faces that he recognizes, lips curling as he gossips. He looks alive and happy, his golden skin glowing with a radiance that seems a little magical. 
“So is it my turn to ask questions?” you ask, sipping the awful beer as you look over at Taehyung. His gaze reluctantly strays away from watching a card game where you’re pretty sure the woman who is winning is cheating. “Or do I still have to talk about myself?” 
He smirks. “You can ask questions, a deal is a deal.”
“What is this place?” 
“The Desert Rose.” 
You glare. “What is this place to you?” 
Taehyung takes a sip of his ale and grins, winking at you. “A better question. This place is somewhere I used to visit when I wanted to feel alive. When I wanted to feel humanity for its raw intensity.”
“So you’re not human.” He shakes his head. His face grows a little hesitant, but he doesn’t tell you to stop. “What are you?” 
“I’m a dream.” 
You blink once. Twice. You expect Taehyung to start laughing and indicate that he was teasing you, but he doesn’t. He leans back in his chair, watching you evenly with his dark eyes. 
“What?” you finally ask.
“I’m a dream. The second ever, actually.”
You think about what you’ve observed of Taehyung. The way that he seems to draw people in, the animated manner in which he speaks. He seems to contain so many multitudes of the things you know that Yoongi enjoys, and yet so many things that press Yoongi’s buttons and rattle him. 
Taehyung is… beautiful. Enchanting. Both to look at, and to talk to. He has a carefree personality and you know he’s magical, having witnessed it in the House of Dreams in snippets but also today, when he became angry and the darkness seemed to swell around him. Not to mention his awful teleportation to wherever you are in the world now.
He is exactly the kind of person you always imagined being the lead in your fantasies. Brave and charming, handsome and adventurous. He looks like he belongs here, melding to the energy around him, fitting in perfectly.
Suddenly, the thought of Taehyung being a dream makes more sense than anything else. A being of infinite possibilities, one who can shape themselves to anyone and anything, who can sense what people want and become that very thing.
You’re not sure what the complexities of dreams are, but you understand the very basics from Yoongi: most dreams are flexible and full of infinite possibilities. It’s what makes them so real, so strong. 
“That makes a lot of sense,” you murmur. “So you’re old.”
“Very.”
“If you’re the second dream…” you trail off, thinking about how Yoongi explained how he came to existence. How life dreamed and so he was born. “Yoongi is the first. That’s why you say he is Dream - he is the first and the essence of dreams.”
“Very clever.”
“When you said you came here to feel alive, what did you mean by that?”
He sighs heavily. “Yoongi was born because Life dreamed of - well, making life. And when Yoongi was born, he was the very concept of dreaming itself. Imagination, creation, wonder, hope. It’s why creation and dreaming are so close in their nature. But still, there is a difference between lifeforms and dreams.” 
“You wanted to know what it was like to feel life?”
He nods. “Yoongi made me as his first companion. He couldn’t help it, really. He didn’t make me on purpose so much as he thought of someone to spend time with, someone to offset him. To balance him. And then there I was.” 
You chew on your lip. There is a distant look in Taehyung’s gaze. He stares at his ale, not drinking anymore. He picks at splinters in the tankard handle, the noise around the two of you a dull roar. 
“But?” you offer, sensing his hesitance. 
“But,” he agrees, nodding. “When Life created humans, I wondered what the difference was between us. I sort of looked like them and I talked like them, but I wanted to know what it was like to be them. And dreams… They are wonderful. Beautiful. But I was afraid they weren’t real, so I started to visit here. To go places. To see if life was the same as dreams.” 
“Is it?”
He shakes his head. “It’s not better, it’s not worse. It’s just different. But I did learn that dreams are as real as life. Perhaps you cannot always see them and feel them depending on where you are, but anything someone dreams here is real there.” 
“That’s sort of comforting.” 
Taehyung smiles. “It is. Plus, I really enjoy people. They have an edge to them that dreams don’t.” 
Someone catches Taehyung’s attention. He turns in his seat, head craning as though he senses something. You follow his line of sight to where a young man descends the stairs leading up to the second floor. He is unlike anything you’ve ever seen, with dark, silky hair tucked behind his ears, full lips that pull into a smile as someone greets him, and sharp, dark eyes that crinkle when he laughs.
He’s beautiful. Suddenly you think that this might be what a dream truly looks like. Taehyung is all dark and shadows, but the man Taehyung watches is lightness and magic, his face so perfect that you cannot help but imagine it must be the result of someone carefully painting every feature. 
Your eyes flicker back to Taehyung when the man leans on the bar, talking to the barmaid behind the counter. Taehyung doesn’t move. You don’t even think he’s breathing. He sits in his chair, knuckles paling under the grip he has on the back of his seat, his eyes filled with such sudden longing that you have to look away. 
“Who is that?” you ask gently. Taehyung doesn’t seem to hear you. He watches and watches, wanting to look nowhere else but at the bar. “Taehyung?”
“His name is Jimin.” 
“That’s a pretty name.”
Taehyung nods. “He’s like you.”
“Like me?”
“He dreams loud enough for us to hear it. For me to hear it. I’ve been coming to this place long before he existed. A silly coincidence that he exists here, too.” 
“Fate, perhaps?” 
That makes Taehyung turn around. His expression is dark and he’s frowning. “Don’t start talking about Hoseok,” Taehyung mutters. “Lest he show up.”
You didn’t mean Yoongi’s sibling Fate, but you realize that’s who Taehyung is talking about. Your eyes drift back to where Jimin is at the bar, sipping a glass of amber liquid. As though he senses eyes on him, his gaze sweeps the bar until it lands on Taehyung, who straightens immediately. 
Jimin smiles and it’s like watching the first ray of sun break over the horizon. You can’t help but blink at his radiant beauty, completely taken aback by it as Jimin pushes off of the bar and begins heading your direction. 
Taehyung swivels in his chair, taking in a few calming breaths. You giggle and he looks up at you, giving you a pitiful smile. You reach across the table and squeeze his hand quickly. “Don’t be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous!”
“You definitely are.”
Before Taehyung can hiss a rebuttal at you, Jimin sidesteps a woman and grins at Taehyung. He drags his gaze to you and startles, as though he had not realized you were there, eyes going round and mouth forming an ‘o’. 
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were with anyone,” Jimin says. His voice is soft and smooth, immediately comforting. “I wanted to come say hello.”
“Hi,” Taehyung breathes, blinking up at Jimin as though he is lost in starlight. Perhaps he is, you think. “Your hair is longer than the last time I saw you.”
Jimin flushes, a hand coming up to touch the ends of his hair gently. “Yeah, I thought I would grow it out.”
“It looks great.” 
For a moment, they stare at one another, Taehyung grinning with his eyes gleaming, and Jimin soft with his eyes scrunched. You look at the table, trying not to disrupt whatever spell they’re under as they peer at one another, but it seems Jimin senses your presence still. His eyes flicker to you and he raises a brow, questioning.
Taehyung fumbles to introduce you, turning and giving you a sheepish grin. You smile and stretch your hand over to shake Jimin’s. His hands are small and delicate but his grip is firm. “It’s nice to meet you. Taehyung wanted to show me this place because he enjoys the people so much - I believe that includes you.” 
Jimin smirks and shrugs a shoulder while Taehyung looks for a chair, yanking it away from someone to give Jimin a place to sit. He does, throwing Taehyung a grateful smile. “Hmm, is that so? Has he said nice things about me?”
“The nicest. In fact, the whole reason we came here is because he wanted to introduce me to the amazing Jimin.” 
Taehyung shoots you a look that tells you to shut up, but you hide your grin in your tankard as Jimin raises a brow, glancing at Taehyung. 
Watching Taehyung and Jimin is comedic and sweet. Taehyung isn’t an entirely different person around Jimin, but he becomes softer at the edges, his smiles gentler and his laughs louder. The longing in Taehyung’s gaze when he thinks Jimin isn’t looking is palpable, and even as a bystander and a friend, you feel a pang watching the two of them dance around one another. 
For his part, Jimin seems equally enthralled. He watches Taehyung with rapt attention, asking questions and touching Taehyung gently everywhere he can - the tops of Taehyung’s hands, his arm, his elbow. When Taehyung turns around to watch the table next to you topple over, you realize he’s unaware that Jimin is looking at him as though begging for Taehyung to see. 
You see. And you want. 
Never before had your parents inspired much desire for love in you. While they worked well together, you still can’t call what they had happy or loving. Functional, sure. Successful, even. But they did not look at one another the way Taehyung and Jimin seem to, and you can’t help but suddenly feel like that is something you want.
Someone to look at you when they think you’re not looking in a way that implies you are their sun and moon. Someone who smiles with such mirth at something you do or say that you can feel the heat of it. 
Jimin gets up to refill the drinks, scooping yours with a grin before vanishing in the crowd. Taehyung watches him go, craning his neck to ensure he has eyes on Jimin as he makes his way to the bar.
“Have you told him you’re in love with him?” 
Taehyung shakes his head, eyes never leaving where Jimin is leaning over the bar to order. “There’s no point.” 
“What? Why not?”
“I’m a dream. He’s a human. We could never be something.” 
“Oh. Surely there’s a way?” 
Taehyung turns to look at you, the joy on his face slipping to be replaced with a soft sadness. He shakes his head again, picking at the splinters on the table. “I would be no good for him. We live in two different worlds… I come and go… He deserves a normal, human life. We could never be something.”
Jimin starts to head back toward the table. Taehyung shakes off the melancholy and smiles just as bright when Jimin returns, as though he wasn’t sad only a moment ago. You accept the refilled drink from Jimin with a weak smile.
Taehyung’s words cycle through your mind as the two men fall into giggling conversation, and all you can think about is a pair of dark cat eyes, a soft raspy voice, and a man who is made of dreams.
We could never be something. 
-
“I was starting to worry, you know?” 
Yoongi’s voice makes you blink. You realize you’re standing among the wisteria, the breeze carrying their sweet scent over your warm skin. You turn to look at him over your shoulder. He’s leaning against a tree, his long hair down and dancing in the breeze. The thin white shirt he wears does little to hide the lines of his stomach and chest today, making you avert your eyes. 
“Why?” you ask, voice steadier than you feel. 
You walk toward a low-hanging vine, bringing your hands up to brush along the purple petals. You feel the tree shiver under your touch. You sense it, like it purrs, a response that is hard to explain but you innately know. 
“It took you longer than usual to fall asleep.”
“Can you not see me when I’m not asleep?”
“I could, but prying is rude. I only see you when you come to me.”
You turn to look at him sharply. He seems a little smug at that, the corners of his full lips twitching like he’s fighting a smirk. Your heart skips a beat for a moment before Taehyung’s words from that night play in your mind. We could never be something. 
And yet Yoongi is implying it’s you who visits him. 
You scowl and turn away from him suddenly. Yoongi makes a sound like a sigh and pushes off of the tree, his footsteps quiet as a whisper. “Have I upset you?” 
“I want to go to sleep.”
He hesitates. You cannot see his expression, but you can picture it perfectly: brows drawn together, mouth pouted slightly, head cocked.  His confusion is evident when he says, “You are asleep.”
“You know what I mean.” 
Silence, for a moment. Then, in that soft, rasping voice that you know so well, he murmurs, “Goodnight, then.” 
-
Silence greets you when you wake up the next morning. Your home is still empty - you have not seen either of your parents since you arrived the night before. Either you’re coming and going at hours they’re not around or they’re avoiding you. The latter is most likely, and you certainly don’t mind. 
Your day goes similarly to the day before. This time, when you walk through the woods, you feel a little more of a spark. You’re sure it has to do with your conversation with Taehyung, his words about dreams and reality being different but equally powerful pouring a little bit of magic back into the woods you loved so dearly.
Still, you miss the other realm and the House of Dreams, even if you’re a little embarrassed by your dream last night, recalling the way you dismissed Yoongi. 
Sitting on the ground with your back pressed against a cypress tree, you let out a heavy sigh and close your eyes, your arms hugging around your middle. You try not to think too hard about the way Yoongi looked leaning against the tree, dark eyes drinking you in. 
Yoongi occupies more than his fair share of thoughts. You hate it, the way your mind strays to him, thinking this is something Yoongi would like or Yoongi would find this funny. Only two weeks and he and Taehyung are suddenly all you know, your experiences with them painting most of your thoughts. 
Thoughts of Taehyung don’t plague you, though. 
The fluttering feeling every time you think of Yoongi has not faded with time or distance. It might be easier if he didn’t visit your dreams every night - or if you didn’t visit him in your dreams, which you don’t know how to do. 
But Taehyung’s forlorn words come drifting back to you, reminding you that there is some distinction between humans and dreams. That even for Taehyung, it cannot work. 
When you return home, your parents still aren’t there. You busy yourself with lunch and then begin practicing your letters, tracing them until your hand is cramping and your head is starting to hurt. You manage to take up most of the afternoon that way, focused solely on your studies and trying to read through your work.
Just as evening falls, Taehyung appears in the yard, hands on his hips as he looks up at your window, whistling to catch your attention. You grin when you see him, happy to have a friend, even if it’s just Taehyung. You don’t ask why Yoongi doesn’t come with him - the Eternal is busy, you’re sure - but you’re pleased to just have Taehyung. 
It becomes a routine. It’s not as thrilling as your life in the House of Dreams, but it isn’t as terrible as you thought it would be. The few times that you do see your parents, they glare at you as though you have become something evil in their house, lurking and stealing their joy. 
You say nothing to them and they stay away from you. 
It’s the same in town. You only visit with Taehyung, otherwise you are too afraid to go on your own. The villagers say nothing when they see the two of you walking around and visiting the old church, but they glare and you catch them doing the signs to ward off evil as you pass by. 
Still, Taehyung makes it worth it. He visits you nightly, whisking you away to the Desert Rose, which has become a refuge for you. You’re no better at teleporting, but you manage not to vomit on his shoes each time you do it. 
Tonight, the energy is thrumming at the Desert Rose. Your gaze lingers longer on those around you and you even introduce yourself to the people that Taehyung is familiar with. Though Taehyung opts to play a game of dice, you do not. You’re content to watch, standing over his shoulder with your arms crossed over your chest.
You feel… alive. Just like Taehyung described when he started coming here. It’s so different from your life before, and after over a week of being around people who seem to spill over with joy without restraint, you feel yourself loosening up. Becoming something a little different. Someone who wants. Someone who wants openly. 
You think about Yoongi. Once he’d told you that he wasn’t just Eternal of dreams. He also has power over desire, and he believes in indulgence. He wants to teach you to indulge more. It suddenly makes all the more sense that Taehyung likes it here. He’s someone who dives in head first to things, taking any bet someone throws his way and snatching drinks off of passing trays. 
Even his desire for Jimin is open and obvious, though you’re sure Taehyung doesn’t know that. 
It’s a lovely night. You feel warm all over, the drink getting to you as you guzzle down the remainder of your cider, which you favor far more than the ale. Jimin clambors onto the table, a cup in hand as he starts yelling the words to the song the band is playing in the corner. 
Taehyung begins to slam his wooden cup on the table in time with the beat, yelling the words and standing up as the room joins in, stamping their feet and slamming on tables. You don’t know the words but you laugh loudly, slamming your palms against the top of the table. They sting with the force of your slap, but it feels good. 
You feel good. Happy. Drunk. A little dizzy as the table wobbles and you dive out of the way as Jimin comes tumbling down. It doesn’t stop you from taking a shower of beer from Jimin’s cup, dousing you in warm liquid as you shriek and laugh. 
Taehyung catches Jimin, of course. They’re a tangled mess of limbs and wet with beer all the same, pointing at you and laughing as you blink through the drink dripping down your face. You flick beer at them with the liquid on your hands, making them howl. 
“Gross! Jimin!”
“I’m so sorry,” he gasps through the laughter, his arms slung tight around Taehyung’s neck as Jimin leans into him. “I slipped!”
“You owe me a new shirt!” 
Jimin nods, grinning so broadly his eyes are crescents as he stands properly and beckons you. “Come on, both of you. I’ll get you new shirts that aren’t soaked. 
Upstairs is a series of private rooms. The hall is lit with flickering sconces and the plush carpet mutes your footsteps. Jimin leads you and Taehyung, giggling, to a door. He thrusts it open and the three of you tip inside, stopping short at the scene in front of you.
Your hands fly to your mouth to mute your gasp, but Taehyung and Jimin collapse into another fit of laughter. If the two people in the bed are bothered by the interruption, they don’t show it. They are a tableau of pleasure, a woman laying back on the bed, arching upward as she lets out a moan. Her skin is slick with sweat, nipples hard as she teases them with one hand, another hand slipping between her legs to cradle the head of someone there.
The shock roots you to the spot. You can’t look away, completely hypnotized by the way the person between the woman’s legs moans, pressing their mouth further into her, the wet smack of their mouth loud over the woman’s trembling moans. 
You’ve never seen such a raw, carnal exchange. As Taehyung apologizes and grabs you and Jimin, pulling you back out into the hallway, you know you’ll never forget that momentary vision. Even as Jimin directs you to the right room to change your shirt in, you replay the scene over and over in your head, thinking of a different detail every single time: the pleasure on the woman’s face, the delicate bow of her back, the soft swells of her breasts, the wet sounds of the mouth between her legs. 
It haunts you. You swallow thickly when you’re done changing, skin still smelling like beer. Your mind wanders to Yoongi, wondering if this is what he was talking about when he spoke of desire. If he also meant physical desire, the indulgence of the erotic variety. 
The thought shames you so thoroughly you’re silent the rest of the night. You’re embarrassed by your immediate curiosity - angry that you even entertained the thought of being in that position with Yoongi, no matter how fleeting the idea was. 
Yoongi certainly did not mean he was going to teach you that - did he?
You shake the thoughts from your head and focus on reality. Of course he didn’t mean that. Taehyung was right when he spoke about the relationships between humans and dreams - it could never be something. 
-
Sweat trickles down your neck slowly. You feel every inch of it, your skin sensitive and over-warm. Your stomach clenches and your hands twist in your sheets as a hot mouth presses against your throat, teeth scraping, tongue licking. 
An inferno grows inside of you as the mouth sinks lower. You hear your heaving breaths, loud and ragged. Your heart beats in your ears, the staccato almost louder than the whimper that leaves your mouth when a wet, messy kiss is placed on your collarbone. 
It’s madness. It’s tortuous. It’s glorious, this feeling thrumming through you, making you twist your head to the side, muscles clenching and letting loose over and over again, your body completely at war with itself.
But it feels so good. 
One of your hands shoots to the silky, dark hair of the person kissing your chest. You card your fingers through soft strands, tugging a little. A deep, throaty moan escapes the lips pressed to your skin, breath hot and warm. 
Dark eyes meet yours, lips parted and swollen, Yoongi’s pupils blown and -
Panic explodes. You realize it’s Yoongi kissing you this way. Yoongi’s hands skimming up your sides, Yoongi’s mouth pressing searing kisses to your flesh, Yoongi’s moan that is falling from his lips, honey sweet. 
“We can’t,” you whisper, though dream-Yoongi just stares at you, eyes fathomless. “We could never be something.”
“Of course we can,” he murmurs, tilting his head to the side. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” 
The weight of his gaze is blazing. You feel your skin burn under the heat of it, you feel like it’s harder to breathe, you feel the sweat run down your spine, your arms, you feel like you’re overheating, it’s hot it’s too-
-
You wake up to something screeching. For a moment, daylight blinds you. You hold your hands in front of your face, shielding your eyes from the light. But the light is an inferno of heat against your hand, making you gasp and choke on thick air as you blink sleep away, trying to make sense of where you are. 
Fire. It isn’t daylight you’ve woken up to, it’s fire. 
Leaping up from bed, you throw your sheets off, scrambling to push yourself against the wall. The flames are already high, licking toward the ceiling and filling your room with thick, grey smoke as the fire eats at the old wood of your house. 
The screech comes again, the shutters on your window rattling. Heart pounding, you slide your hand along the wall, fingers trembling as you press them into the wood, trying to find the metal latch to open them. You cover the lower half of your face with your opposite arm, coughing into it. 
Your fingers slip on the latch, sweaty and shaking. You inch closer to the window, getting a solid grip on the metal and flipping it upward. The latch clacks and the windows swing open, a gust of wind entering the room. It makes matters worse, the oxygen fueling the fire into a rage as it climbs higher and jumps towards your bed. 
You look frantically around your room, realizing you can’t take anything. The writing desk in the corner is aflame, all of the sheets of paper and your hard-earned practice curling into smoke as they’re consumed, your letters from Yoongi turning to ash. 
“No!” you sob, realizing those things are lost forever.
Again, there’s a wild screech. You turn to look out the window to see a large, brown owl - Guardian, you realize - screeching, flapping its great wings, gold eyes fixated on the fire. It yells at you again, as though imploring you to move. 
You take a breath and dive out the window. For a moment as you fall toward the ground, you’re reminded that this is the second time you’re having to use it to escape danger. That thought sinks like a stone in your stomach, going down, down, down until it rests weighty in your gut.
The smack of the ground rattles you. Every part of you hurts, bones jolting as you roll until you’re flat on your back, gasping as the air leaves your lungs momentarily, knocked out of you. Scrambling up despite your limbs protesting in pain, you look up at the fire crawling over your house. 
That’s when you notice it - the noise and the yelling of voices. Inside your home, with the roaring and crackling of the fire, you couldn’t hear the crowd outside. Now, you see them in full. They carry torches and farm tools, some of them with axes and hoes, others with scythes. 
They don’t see you yet, giving you a long moment to stare open-mouthed as the pieces of the puzzle slide together. They’ve set your home on fire because of you - they’ve tried to kill you. Because they think you’re a demon and because they think you’re an evil creature. 
Heart in your throat, you scan the lines of the faces. Toward the edge, you see your parents. A group of women consoles your mother, holding her by the shoulders gently as she stares into the orange flame. Your father stands a few feet away, almost by himself, watching and watching and watching. 
They knew you were asleep. And your window had not been closed before bed - you’d been leaving it open at night so Guardian could come and go as he pleased. 
You sit there on the ground, staring in shock, for too long. Someone notices you and points, screaming something that you cannot hear over the blood rushing in your ears. Panic seizes you and you scramble to your feet, sliding a few times as the crowd runs at you.
There’s no time to see what your parents do. The image of them watching their home burn with the thought of you inside is fresh in your memory, a razor-sharp cut that flays you open as you turn and run. Run toward the woods where Nathaniel chased you on that fateful night. 
Run to the woods you almost died in. Run to the woods where Yoongi swooped in and made a promise to protect you. 
Darkness descends. You think for a moment as you enter the woods that you won’t get lucky a second time, that your luck has run out. It’s the panic that scrambles your thoughts, and the memories of Nathaniel chasing you through these woods make you stumble and fall. 
You don’t make it far. You trip over a tree root and tumble into strong arms. The smell of clove and cinnamon is overpowering as you look up at Yoongi, who pulls you into his chest. You let him, sliding your arms around his middle and pressing your face into his neck as you squeeze your eyes shut.
“I’ve got you, little lamb.” His voice is dark as the shadows that wrap around you, cool and soothing to the touch. “They cannot hurt you.” 
As Yoongi whisks you away like that fateful night, you hear the echoing voice scream behind you. Devil! Demon King! The Dark God!
-
“It’s my fault,” Yoongi murmurs, cradling your face to inspect it for the tenth time. He’s crouching in front of you, dark eyes wild as he inspects your face for any damage. You pull your jaw from his grasp - even if his touch tingles pleasantly - and look in the other direction. “I should have known.”
“Yes,” Taehyung snaps behind Yoongi, arms crossed and presence thundering. “You should have.” 
There is no fire going in the library tonight. You have a feeling Yoongi has extinguished it for obvious reasons, but you say nothing. You look over Yoongi’s dark head to where Taehyung is raging, his face pinched with anger. You give him a look and he tosses his hands in the air. 
“What?” he demands. “It’s true.”
“Taehyung.”
“I’m not going to lie to him. He should have known sending you back was an idiotic idea. Thinking anyone would have accepted you was an oversight.”
Yoongi grits his teeth and stands. You watch as he visibly tries to control his frustration, taking a step back from you. Tonight, he’s dressed in all black. His cloak is still on and his necklaces pool at his throat, the silver cold in the dark of the library. His hair is pulled back out of his face and you think he looks like the real Eternal, tonight. 
He turns to Taehyung. “You know why I sent her back.”
“Yes, your fucked up sense of morality and-”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not sitting right here,” you snap. You ball your fists in your lap. You’re still dressed in night clothes and the scent of ash and sweat is heavy on your skin. You stare at your hands. “I want to go to bed.” 
“Alright.” Yoongi’s extended hand appears in front of you. You drag your eyes up to meet his. Gone is the anger and severity, replaced only with a soft, almost fond expression. “I’ll walk you.”
Putting your hand in Yoongi's, you let him pull you out of the chair. 
You could be mad at him if you tried. Perhaps it would be easy to blame Yoongi for sending you back to keep some semblance of normalcy in your life. Maybe you would feel lighter if you got angry with him for promising to protect you, but only being able to physically do so, unable to shield you from the hatred of your community. 
If you tried, perhaps you could blame him for not letting you drown in the first place. For bringing you here with the fantasy that you could exist with one foot in each world. 
You’re not mad at him, though. Unlike Taehyung, you don’t need to wonder why Yoongi wanted you to spend two weeks in the real world. The real world is yours. It’s where you belong. To want some sort of normalcy for you or hope that you’d be able to pick up your life there anew was perhaps shortsighted, but rooted in the desire to do good for you.
So you’re not angry with Yoongi, though you’re not sure you’re pleased either. 
The walk to your room is silent. Yoongi has let go of your hand but he walks close enough that your arms brush, sending shivers down your spine. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing, and he seems content to let you keep your thoughts to yourself. 
This isn’t how you wanted to see him for the first time since your two weeks spent in your realm.
The inside of your room is warm, but there’s no fire. You almost ask if he’s doused every flame in the house, and protest that you’re not afraid, but you don’t. He follows you into your room and shuts the door behind him. You walk toward the chaise and sit on it, looking up at where he hovers by the door. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, eyes finding yours. The emotions there are deep, but unreadable. “It was foolish of me to think they’d accept you as you were. Foolish to think that maybe the relationship with your parents might mend.” 
“You couldn’t have known.”
“I am thousands of years old. Humankind has not changed so much in their ability to fear the unknown and react violently. I do know better, but I…”  You wait for him to explain further, but he doesn’t. Yoongi lets the sentence drift off into the night. Instead of finishing it, he ventures, “Are you sure you’re unharmed?” 
“Yeah, Guardian was screeching at the window.” 
“Guardian?”
“Yeah, the owl. I assumed you sent it to watch over me.” 
Yoongi frowns. “No, that’s what Taehyung was for. I did not…”
“What?” You see the look on his face change, shifting from confused to steel calm. “What is it?” 
“Hoseok,” Yoongi mutters, turning to exit your room. “Try to get some sleep. I have a meddling owl to deal with.” 
As he moves to close the door, you lean forward. “Yoongi?” He looks up, eyes wide, expression soft. He looks like a dark star, just then. The light from the window makes him glow from within, his eyes endless pools, his power ebbing in the room, a constant energy. “Thank you.”
His mouth turns downward. “For what?”
“Saving me. Again.”
His eyes darken. “Your safety will always be paramount to me. I’ll do better.” 
“I think you’re doing the best you are able.” 
“Thank you for saying so.”
Silence hangs between the two of you. It’s heavy, filled with friction that wasn’t there before. You squirm where you sit, suddenly unable to meet the set of eyes pinned to you. You’d  forgotten what his gaze could do to you in person, and now the full force of it is dizzying. 
“Goodnight, little lamb.”
-
A gentle scratch sounds on the other side of the window. You look up from your writing desk to the windows facing the mountains. Beyond the first sprawling peaks, you see the tallest of them all, the dark mountain wreathed in shadow and lightning. 
The thunder rolls, vibrating your bones. You stare at the mountain, feeling the hair at the back of your neck stand on end. You grip the quill tight. 
Beneath the hum of thunder, you hear a scratching on the glass again. You squint, but you see nothing there. Just open air and those ominous mountains in the back, watching you as you scrawl your letters. 
Carefully, you set the quill down and get up. The floor is cold as you walk toward the window, which is strange. The floor is always warm in your room, as are the walls and most of the House of Dreams, fueled by whatever magic lives through Yoongi. 
Near the glass, you almost feel how cold the window is. You frown and lift a hand, pressing a single finger against a pane. It’s freezing to the touch and you yank your hand back, perplexed as you stare at the single fingerprint left by your warm skin. 
The fingerprint fades but the scratching sound does not. A gentle scritch scritch scritch, like a nail on the window. 
“My betrothed,” someone whispers. Your blood runs cold and you whirl around, expecting to find someone standing in your bathroom. “Won’t you open the window for me? It’s so cold outside.” 
Fear turns your stomach into acid. Your hands begin to shake as you stare into the emptiness of your room, suddenly feeling like it’s darker. Did the ceilings get taller? Is your room blurry at the edges? The scratching on the window intensifies, and with trembling lips, you turn to look over your shoulder.
There’s nothing outside, but there’s a shadowy reflection on the glass. A little taller than you. A little wider. 
“Betrothed,” Nathaniel whispers again. “Won’t you let me in to reunite?” 
For a moment, there is silence. The shadow doesn’t move. You don’t dare breathe. The shadow leaps at you and a scream tears through you -
Hands press you into something soft. You kick and scream, lashing out. Sheets tangle your legs and stick to your sweaty skin. Suddenly it feels like you can’t breathe and you thrash wildly, screaming at the top of your lungs as you claw at whatever’s holding you down.
Panic like never before seizes you. Your head smacks into something hard and it knocks you backward, suddenly dizzy as a hand comes up to your head automatically. It hurts where your fingers press into the skin, and you’re momentarily subdued by the way the room spins; the pain morphs your panic into confusion.
Breathing heavily, you blink your eyes rapidly, tears streaming down your face and vision a little blurry as you try and put the pieces together. Finally, you realize Taehyung is sitting on the floor next to your bed with his hand pressed against his forehead, in a similar fashion to your current state. Yoongi stands next to him, hands held up tentatively, as though he is about to grab you or has just let you go. 
Silence hangs in the air, your breathing ragged. Your head - which you can surmise you’ve smacked against Taehyung’s - throbs wildly. As though sensing your discomfort and sticky thoughts, Yoongi’s eyes flicker away from your gaze to your head.
“May I fix that?” he asks slowly, voice gentle. “You smacked heads quite hard. I’m concerned you may be concussed.” 
“Concussed,” you repeat back slowly. The word feels heavy on your tongue. “Right.”
Yoongi’s face colors with concern and he gestures toward you, asking permission again. It takes you another minute to put it together, but you nod dumbly, watching as he steps forward very slowly, dark eyes looking for any sign of protest or panic from you.
When you don’t bolt or swing at him, he takes another step toward you, hands reaching up toward your skull. You flinch when he reaches near and he stops, hands hovering. You can feel the heat of his skin a hair's breadth away, feel the magic skimming along him where he hesitates. 
You look up at Yoongi. His eyes are wide and full of concern, his brows pulled up. His tongue darts out to lick his lips nervously as his eyes shift from your head to your eyes, trying to assess what to do. You smell cinnamon and clove and it calms you a little. 
This is Yoongi. Not Nathaniel. Yoongi, who saved you from the grips of that hateful man and who brought you here. Somewhere that made you happy.
“It’s okay,” you whisper. You feel tired suddenly, like your adrenaline is waning and the aftereffects are bleeding you out. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he whispers, pressing his hands gently to your head. You wince, the lump there giving a painful throb as he does. 
“Maybe apologize,” Taehyung mutters from his spot on the floor. “Are you going to give me magic hand, too?”
“Silence, Taehyung.” Yoongi’s voice is cutting. It’s a voice you’ve never heard him use with Taehyung, your eyes shooting up to his in shock. He pays you no mind, focused on his hands. 
Warmth emanates from his palms. Immediately you feel the tingle of magic. It’s soothing, making your eyes flutter as you become dizzy again. You let the warmth wash over you, accompanied by a peculiar array of senses: dark spicy smells; the feeling of velvet against your skin; the taste of cherry wine; a warm breath against your lips.
You shiver, head rolling back a little as it grows heavy and you grow drowsy suddenly, limbs weighted, mind fading. 
“I didn’t… I didn’t know that was a dream.” Yoongi grimaces and says nothing. “Why didn’t that feel like a dream, Yoongi?”
“Sleep,” Yoongi murmurs, and his voice feels very far away. “You’ll be fine, now. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Thank you.”
“An easy fix.” 
Yoongi removes his hand and you catch his wrist gently, eyes opening for a moment. “No,” you slur, speech heavy as the exhaustion pulls at you. “Thank you for saving me.”
You don’t know if you mean before, or when your neighbors came for you, or now. Maybe you mean all of it. Maybe you mean saving you from a life that you hated and bringing you here. You mean it nonetheless, though you’re unsure from where the bravery came to say it.
Dropping Yoongi’s wrist, you fall backward unceremoniously onto your bed. There is no fear of Nathaniel scratching at the glass anymore, your mind mostly empty, save for the smell of cinnamon and clove. 
Yoongi and Taehyung gather to leave your room, and as you fade, you catch the tiniest bit of conversation from Taehyung. “... need to teach her. It’s only going to get worse… spinner.” 
Sleep takes you. 
-
Being back in the House of Dreams feels like home. Though the lingering feeling of hot flame and the look on your parents’ faces as they watch their home burn still haunts you, you feel safer than you have in the last week. 
In the House of Dreams, there's no one to mutter prayers and sign wards against evil as you pass by. There’s no one glaring at you - except Taehyung, who pouts when you steal the last of the honey for your toast at breakfast. It’s just Yoongi and Taehyung, who talk more chipper than usual at breakfast. 
You eye Yoongi carefully. He sits at the head of the table, dressed in a beautiful, jade-colored silk shirt. His hair is pulled back in a bun, earrings dangling as he leads forward and plucks melon from the bowl in front of him. 
Yoongi lifts the fruit to his mouth. You pause chewing your toast, eyes focused on the way he bites into the fruit, lips plush around it, a bead of juice running down his chin. Suddenly you’re thinking about the night at The Desert Rose, a head between legs, a back that’s arched, skin sweaty-
Taehyung clears his throat from across the table and draws your attention. He’s staring at you with thinly veiled amusement, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. You scowl and take a large bite of your toast before swallowing what's in your mouth, feeling heat bloom in your cheeks and neck. 
Yoongi is none the wiser, chewing happily on his fruit as he scratches Tiara under her chin. She chirps like a bird and purrs like a cat, letting out small curls of smoke everytime she puffs happily. 
Your mouth twitches in a smile as you look at your plate, happy to be back with them. 
“I want you to come to the Dream Tower with me today,” Yoongi ventures lightly. You snap your gaze up in surprise. He looks casual, as though he’s not offering you to come to the place he works, filled with magic and dreams. “I think you could help me.”
“Me?”
His mouth quirks. “Is there another human prone to trouble around here that I’m not aware of?” 
“I thought you blamed yourself?”
“So I do. But yes - you.” 
“How do you want me to help?”
Yoongi grins as he pops another piece of fruit into his sinful mouth. “You’ll see.” 
Despite your excitement and the promise of a look inside  Yoongi’s lair, even him asking for your help doesn’t earn you a break from daily reading and writing lessons. When Yoongi gestures to the assigned work on your desk, you throw him a severe look followed by a pout. As endeared as he seems, he is unwavering, patting your desk chair as he walks by. 
You’re not really mad. You fall into an easy calm as you sit down and scoot up toward the desk. The fire is low and crackling in the fireplace today and the library smells faintly of cardamom as you work. Tiara flights around the second story of the room, chittering and following Yoongi - who seems to be organizing the shelves. 
Taehyung vanishes to do whatever it is he does during the day. You’re not even sure if it’s day in your world. You hope he will take you to The Desert Rose again to see Jimin and to drink cider. You love the warmth of the crowd and the loud bustle. 
The House of Dreams is quiet. 
Time slips as you work. You lose yourself in swirling letters and short reading passages, so much so that when there is a tingling presence near your shoulder, you flinch, ripping your quill across the page and splattering ink. 
Yoongi tsks and apologizes, grabbing an ink stained cloth to wipe the spilled liquid from the desk. His proximity makes your head spin, the edge of his hips grazing your shoulder as he leans over you to clean the mess you’ve made. 
Mouth drying, you drop the quill and flex your hand, coughing out an apology as you try to organize your thoughts that spill like the ink on the desk at his nearness. 
Being away from him almost made you forget how dizzying his presence could be. Yoongi regards your work in silence, but all you can focus on is the measured sound of his breathing, the warmth radiating from him, the curve of his mouth, the juice running down his-
“Ready?”
“What?” you ask, blinking and looking up at him owlishly. He gazes down at you, cocking a brow. It’s obvious he had asked you a question. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening?” 
“What were you doing?”
“... Staring.”
“At?”
“The wall?”
“Are you asking me or telling me?” he questions, his voice laced with teasing. 
You scowl and shove your chair backward into his stomach, knocking him back. He lets out a loud oof and a bit of laughter as you stand and stretch, hyperaware that he’s been in a rather cheeky mood since breakfast. 
Together, you begin your walk to the tower. Tiara comes along, jumping up on Yoongi’s shoulder and curling herself around him like a scarf, her tail wrapped gently around his neck. She regards you with distaste and her tongue flickers out to taste the air, a curl of smoke escaping her nose as she huffs.
Fighting the urge to stick your tongue out at a dragon, you opt to walk in comfortable silence. 
As you do, your thoughts inevitably drift to the night before and the dream that didn’t feel like a dream. For the most part, you feel like you can tell when you’re dreaming. There’s always an opaque feeling to your dreams, something a little off. 
Now, you’re worried that perhaps you can’t tell the difference. You think that maybe you should ask Yoongi if he can help you tell the difference between being awake and dreaming, but your desire to ask is stopped as you reach the foot of stairs you’ve never climbed before. 
Yoongi looks down at you as he begins ascending, giving you a gummy smile that sends your pulse galloping after him. You curse your traitor heart, trying to remember what Taehyung said to you about the relationship between dreams and humans. It could never work. But… you’re here. In Yoongi’s home, and you don’t know how long you’re allowed to stay - if you’re ever supposed to go back again.
Both of you seem to completely ignore that you were brought back to the dream realm ahead of schedule, that maybe going back is no longer an option. 
There are doors leading to rooms as you ascend the stairs. Yoongi ignores all of them in favor of climbing up, up, and up. Your calves burn by the time you make it to the top, pausing to catch your breath and sweep your eyes across the large, circular room. 
It’s stunning. Glancing up, your mouth falls open in surprise when you see that there is no ceiling, but a mass of writhing cosmos and something like a night sky. The nebulous display casts a lavender and blue glow on the room below, the two-tone light shifting and moving. 
There are all manner of things in the room. Tables covered in papers, rich rugs with different designs, chairs and bookshelves and curiosity cabinets and glass cases full of glowing things that you cannot identify. Tiara hops off of Yoongi’s shoulder and floats on small wings toward a pile of blankets, twigs, and leaves that looks like a nest.
What demands your attention most, though, is the massive stone dais in the room, with a stone column about waist high with something that looks like a bowl carved into the top. From where you stand, you can see there’s liquid in the bowl that moves and shimmers with its own glow. Occasionally, a sparkle or wisp of color drifts from the cool surface.
Energy vibrates in the air. You can feel it like a static on your skin and taste it like a buzz on your tongue. You’re drawn to the dais, taking a step forward and halting. It feels like a hum shivers through you. You look at Yoongi, questioning. 
“The dream pool,” he answers, as though you have any idea what that is. 
He walks toward it and looks back at you, hesitating before he offers a hand. Excitement shoots through you as you take his hand and he pulls you toward it. Your hand tingles where you hold his. Even when you reach the dais and he lets go, there’s pins and needles left behind. 
“This is where I help create dreams for those who can’t do it on their own.” 
The liquid in the basin brightens as Yoongi steps up close. You watch as a watercolor of lights splashes across his face. He looks down into the bowl lovingly, a soft smile on his face, and so much adoration in his eyes that you find yourself watching him instead of the magical water in the bowl. 
“This room is full of things that help inspire dreams. I make everything myself but Taehyung likes to help - he likes to decorate and fill the room with items that inspire creativity.”
“Somehow I think dream personified doesn’t need it.”
He shoots you a grin. “You’d be surprised. Come look.”
Tentatively, you step up next to him. You’re aware of how close you stand, his sleeves brushing yours as he places a hand on the basin. It comes up to your stomach and is two feet in diameter. The water looks so much deeper than you thought. You’re unable to see the bottom, an illusion that makes you dizzy.
Like the sky above, the water shimmers and moves with its own set of stars and colors. It feels alive, like whatever power is in the dream pool recognizes you and wakes up, spinning as you look into the glittering surface. 
“I can feel and hear people dream,” Yoongi explains. “It’s like a frequency that I can tap into. I can turn it on and off at a whim. Those who don’t struggle to dream are so much quieter than those who cannot dream. I listen for those who cannot, and I come here and focus on them in my mind’s eye before creating them a dream. I pour in thoughts, feelings, scents, sounds, memories and the like into this bowl. I think it, and so it appears.” 
“How?”
“What you’d call magic. Really it’s just divine power. This is a part of me,” he says, tapping the rim of the basin. “Just like dreams are.”
“How can I help you do… this?” you ask, gesturing wildly to the water.
Yoongi’s smile is angelic. “You have the raw capability of a dreamer. Someone who dreams so powerfully and loudly that it can’t help but catch my attention.”
“What does that mean?”
“Your imagination and your ability to come up with things is more innate than most people. You’re an innovator, a great conjurer of stories and fantasies. It’s a rare gift in humans. Some call you Spinners - you can spin dreams up just as easily as I can, with practice, but you cannot do so without a tool like this basin.” 
“A spinner.” You remember the night before, hearing the word on Taehyung’s lips. “Are there others?” 
He nods. “Under fifty in the entire world. I believe you’ve met another one. He’s the one Taehyung visits.”
“Jimin?” 
“Mhmm. He’s like you. You have no power though, not in your world. Just raw ability.”
“So if I were to use this… pool of dreams, I could give people dreams.”
He nods, smiling. You smile back at him, his happiness infectious. You like the way his eyes crinkle when he grins broadly at you, the way his cheeks tint pink. It is strange to think that this soft man in front of you is also the same dark, powerful god who has swept in to save you, whose voice haunts your dreams and whose phantom touch lingers in all of the places that it shouldn’t. 
Licking his lips and rolling his shoulders, Yoongi takes his stance at the basin. You watch, fascinated as he sweeps a hand over the surface, not touching the water. It ripples an entire rainbow of colors, casting shadows on his face when he peers down into the water as the surface smoothes out like a mirror. 
An opaque image materializes on the surface. You watch as Yoongi concentrates. Slowly, things begin appearing. A cerulean ocean, waves rolling gently against a sandy beach. Foam clings to the sand. Starfish of every color - blue, green, red - begin to dot the beach. A gull cries above, so clear it feels like you’re there. Then you smell it - the salt, the brine. The subtle scent of driftwood. A breeze blows against your face, carrying the cool ocean mist. 
You let out a laugh as Yoongi smiles, his eyes never leaving the images unfolding in the basin. You watch as a dolphin crests a wave, earning a gasp from you. You’ve never seen a dolphin, only heard about them in passing from fishermen from the coast. They spray water high into the air as they break the waves, moving smoothly through glittering waters. 
It feels so real and warm, the dream bright and full of hope. Happiness. Excitement. You feel what Yoongi pours into the basin, your toes curling as though you can feel hot sand beneath your feet. 
“The trick,” Yoongi explains carefully, “Is imagining everything that would make it feel real. It can’t be just what you see. It has to be what you hear, what you feel, what you smell, what emotions you evoke. You have to do all of these things at once - you have to believe in them all at once. Dreams about real things are the easiest. More complex dreams can include anything you can imagine that humans believe to be fake: dragons, brownies, griffons.” 
“How do you know what to give?” 
“You feel it. Place your hand on the side.” 
Carefully, you lift your hand to the side of the dream pool. You hesitate and look up at Yoongi, eyes wide. He gives you an encouraging nod. You place your hand on the bowl, feeling the warm stone. 
A pulse of energy flows through you. You gasp, flinching a little as you feel the basin come alive under your touch. You close your eyes as sensations flood you: hopelessness, stress, exhaustion. Suddenly, Yoongi’s dream makes sense. He instills a sense of peace and serenity at the beach, of hope and wonder with the dolphins, of rest with the cool wind and warm sand. 
“Amazing,” you breathe, eyes still closed. “This is wonderful.” 
“I’ll do some more. Keep your hand where it is. You’ll feel what it is they feel. Try not to think too hard about anything while you’re connected - let me do the work.” 
Watching Yoongi work can happen with your eyes closed, you realize. You lose yourself in time and space. No longer are you in the Dream Tower. Now, Yoongi walks you through the world.
You enter through dreams, feeling sudden sadness or loss, even heartache. Every dream you encounter, there is profound suffering at the beginning. Yoongi gently sends the pain on its way, observes what each dreamer needs, and begins spinning up images. Sounds. Feelings. 
Rain falls on your face as you stand over the tops of a misty forest. It’s gentle and cool to the touch, soothing. You smell pine and damp earth, giving you energy. Your toes feel the wet grass beneath you, grounding you and making you feel more centered than you ever have.
Wheat brushes the tips of your fingers. You look out into a sea of gold, healthy crops bending with the wind. An azure sky stretches mile after mile, not a cloud in sight as the sun heats your skin. You smell fresh air and hear the grasshoppers buzz among the fresh stalks of wheat, feeling the reward of growing healthy grain. 
A dog runs after a ball. The hills are the brightest shade of green you’ve ever seen, the dog dashing up the hill and barking loudly. You feel laughter bubble up your throat and unfettered joy as thick clouds float by. The dog grabs the ball and runs back, its tail wagging and coat shiny. You feel nostalgic and happy to be reunited with a friend. 
Fireflies flicker to life in a forest at night. They alight on the tree branches and your arms, casting gold luminescence on your skin. You marvel at them, spinning in a circle as you look at the dark trees. You smell the maple sap and the bark, you hear the crickets.
It’s just like the woods near your house -
Your house. 
A slice of fear goes through you. You remember the darkness of the woods as Nathaniel tried to drown you, the press of his fingers into your skull. The roaring of the flooding water and the burning of your lungs. The fireflies flicker out one by one and the darkness begins to grow. You’re suddenly terrified. Curiosity vanishes and is replaced with deep fear. 
You taste stale water in your mouth. You smell the smoke of your burning house. You feel water rushing up to your ankles and inching higher, you hear the screams of Nathaniel’s vitriol, you feel your lungs start to fill, the air stars to leave, the roots of the trees grab at your feet-
A sharp yank pulls you out of the forest. You gasp for air, falling backward off of the dais and onto the floor. Gentle hands cradle your face and you hear a deep voice calling out to you, speaking your name through the dull roar in your ears. 
Blinking, you look upward to see Yoongi inches away from your face. His eyes are round and gentle, his hands steady. Warm. He’s so close you can feel his breath on your lips as he leans over you. A strand of dark hair escapes his bun, falling across his forehead and eye. You don’t know why, but you think it looks dashing. 
“Hey,” he murmurs, searching your face. “Are you with me?” 
“Yeah,” you rasp, lungs heaving. “What happened?” 
His thumb brushes back and forth across your cheek as he sighs, but he doesn’t let go of your face. “You thought of the night that I saved you. Your fear was powerful. Raw. As you started to remember things you grew more afraid and you took over the dream.”
You blink once. Twice. Remember the way that the fireflies suddenly flickered out and how the water started to rush in from nowhere. “I did that?” 
“I didn’t expect you to be such a natural. I had a feeling but… you caught me by surprise and shoved me out.”
“I can do that?”
“When I’m caught off guard, yes. You took control of creating the dream and turned it into…”
“A nightmare.”
He nods. “It’s my fault. I didn’t think you would think that forest looked the same, but I was wrong. I keep… having oversights. I’m sorry. I’m not good at this.”
“Good at what?”
“Being human.” 
Silence suspends between you. You’re sprawled on the floor of the Dream Tower with Yoongi hovering over you. His knees are pressed against your hips and his shirt collar is hanging low as he leans, revealing more skin than you’ve ever seen from him. You don’t dare drop your eyes from his, staring at their dark depths.
The space between you is minimal and neither of you move. You hope he cannot hear the way your heart hammers in your chest or sense the way your body crackles like lightning, sparking at his proximity. The nightmare you made is long forgotten, replaced with his touch, his smell, his closeness. 
Yoongi holds your face delicately, like a treasured item. You cannot imagine that he means to hold you so, but the sudden want that licks through you is powerful, your desire for him to hold you like you’re something precious surprising you in its strength. 
“You make me want to get better at it.” His voice is soft, barely even a whisper. 
“At what?”
A gentle laugh. “Being human. It is unfamiliar, but I wish to know more of what it's like. To have more of the instinct.”
“Why?”
He pauses. “Because I’ve lived for thousands of years, and never really had the chance to try.” 
It is a similar sentiment that Taehyung had shared. The thought of Taehyung makes you smile, sitting up suddenly. Yoongi leans back on his haunches quickly, careful not to knock heads. “What?” he asks, noting your sudden excitement. 
“Has Taehyung ever taken you to the Desert Rose?”
“No, I can’t say I’ve been interested. Why?”
You grab his hand. You notice the way he seems surprised, but he doesn’t pull away as you scramble to your feet. “You want to see what it’s like to be human. I know a place.” 
-
Yoongi makes a face as he sips the beer Taehyung has thrust into his hands. You and Taehyung laugh, tossing your heads back with it. Yoongi looks unimpressed but continues to drink nonetheless, his dark eyes scanning the crowded bar. 
He sticks out like a sore thumb. Eyes are immediately drawn to Yoongi wherever he goes. You think everyone must feel the divinity as he walks by them, his power a magnet for attention. Even sitting at the table with you and Taehyung, tucked near the door, people turn in their seats to get a good look at him or pause when they enter the Desert Rose. 
It doesn’t help that he looks beautiful. Air had gotten stuck in your throat when he arrived at the library at the appointed time to meet you and Taehyung to come here. His hair hangs in soft waves around his face, earrings peaking between inky strands when he moves his head. His dark shirt is long-sleeved but unbuttoned at the throat, revealing a strip of pale, smooth skin and his layered necklaces. His eyes are glittering tonight, almost like constellations are held within. 
Yoongi is the night. The black pants and black boots paired with the shirt make him look like a dark prince. Perhaps the son of the moon, even. You notice the way the stares turn from curious to hungry, Yoongi lighting a fire among those around him. 
Jealousy sours your stomach. You hate that it does, but it’s like a second instinct, some sort of possessive monster rearing its head as you avert your gaze when a beautiful man asks Yoongi if he wants to dance. Yoongi shakes his head, giving a polite smile in return before turning away and chugging more of his drink.
If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was nervous. 
“Thousands of years old and a room full of people scares you,” Taehyung teases, confirming your suspicions. Yoongi’s gaze is thin as a razor. “You should get out more. I’ve been telling you that.”
“Eternals don’t make a habit of walking around the human realm. Our presence disturbs the natural chemistry of the world.”
“Then why did you spend so many days in the wood-”
Yoongi kicks Taehyung under the table. He hollers in pain as Yoongi glowers, making you giggle. Though he’s no natural among the crowd, you can see that he’s trying to fit in. He watches the way people slouch in their chair and he imitates it. Drinks more of his beer, not because of the taste but because it's what people do here. 
Music thrums in the room. There is a crowd of people clapping their hands and dancing, stomping their feet along to the music. You nervously look at Yoongi throughout the night, trying to see if he’s enjoying himself, wondering what he thinks of the place. 
A couple near your table knocks over a pitcher of mead as the man presses the woman into the table in an arduous kiss. You can’t help but watch for a moment, entranced by the way he kisses her as though he’ll die if he doesn’t, as if her lips are the last thing he wants to remember. 
Sensing Yoongi’s gaze on you, you glance at him. He stares at you, drinking you in before his eyes drift to the couple you’d been studying. Embarrassment heats your face as you bring your cup to your lips, hiding behind the tankard as you take large gulps of cider. 
The cider takes the edge off. It makes you feel warm and loose, though you’re still a little nervous with Yoongi’s quiet countenance sitting beside you. 
“Jimin’s here!” you announce excitedly, clapping your hands together when he appears downstairs. Taehyung’s knee bumps into the bottom of the table as he jerks to turn around. “Jimin should meet Yoongi!”
“I would love to.” 
Taehyung groans. “No, please.”
“Why not?” Yoongi demands. “Should I not meet the human that brings my friend here most evenings? Should I not meet the friend of my -” Yoongi looks at you and stumbles over his words. “- my friend?” 
Friend. You’re not sure if the word fits, exactly. But you don’t know what else it is that Yoongi would call you. Friend implies something beyond acquaintances, which you are sure you are. But it fits like an ill-sized dress, hanging crooked on your frame.
“I don’t want you to scare him off!” Taehyung protests. 
Yoongi looks dubious. “Why would I do that?”
“Shut up,” you hiss as Jimin notices you. You lift your hand in an eager wave, beckoning him over. “Yoongi, be nice.”
“I am nice. Do you think I’m not nice?” 
Instead of answering him, you get up to greet Jimin warmly with a chaste kiss on the cheek and a brief hug. When you step back, you see Yoongi’s burning gaze, a tick in his jaw as he stares Jimin down, tonguing his cheek. You hiss at Yoongi and snap your finger to signal for him to drop the severe expression. 
He looks at you and his features smooth out as he rises to his feet lithely, reaching an arm around you. Yoongi startles you when he places his hand on your mid-back as he leans forward to shake Jimin’s, introducing himself. 
The contact is so brief that you wonder if he had done it at all as he sits down. For a moment, you’re the only one standing, staring at Yoongi in confusion as the three men sit. They all look at you expectantly and you plop down suddenly. 
“Are you alright?” Jimin asks, mirth evident in his voice.
“Yes,” you answer quickly, still recovering. It felt like a deliberate touch. Firm, but gentle. Polite, but… something. “How are you?” 
To your pleasure - and Taehyung’s evident relief - Yoongi and Jimin get along fine. If Jimin is put off by Yoongi’s peculiarity, he doesn’t show it. You wonder if he’s used to being around Taehyung, who has his own strange charm and inhuman energy vibrating around him. 
Yoongi says little, but seems comfortable. You watch him as he watches Taehyung, who has stars in his eyes every time he looks at Jimin. He leans closer to Jimin as they mutter about something conspiratorially, giggling behind their hands. Jimin brushes a strand of hair out of Taehyung’s face and the love that blooms in Taehyung’s expression is so evident that you wonder if Jimin knows. He has to know. And he looks like he feels the same. 
When Jimin drags Taehyung up to dance, you encourage them, shooing them off toward the growing crowd of people spinning around the room. Tables are shoved out of the way, chairs scraping to make room for the revelers. You move your chair some as your table is pushed, making the beers tilt dangerously. 
Yoongi grabs the leg of your chair and pulls it roughly toward him. Before you can say something, someone stumbles where your chair just was, toppling into the table next to you. You look at Yoongi with shock and he winks before returning to lounging in his seat, watching the crowd. 
Now that you’re sitting much closer to him, you can smell him. Still, you try to relax, watching as Jimin teaches Taehyung the steps to the dance the crowd is doing. 
“Thank you for bringing me here,” Yoongi says over the loud voices. “This is nice. I see why Taehyung likes it.”
“You don’t hate it?” He makes a face and you laugh. “Yoongi, you hate it.”
“It’s a bit loud, but I don’t hate it. I like the quiet. I like… solitude. But not always. This is a good break.” 
“So you never just… stroll among the people sometimes?”
“Never had a reason to.”
“But how can you make dreams if you don’t know people?”
“Dreams are inherent to me. They are an instinct. They aren’t born from people. They’re born from something rawer than that. People just happen to dream.” 
You hum, not sure that you follow. Silence lulls between you as the song changes. “This place is so different from anywhere I’ve been,” you tell him. “My mother and father would have hated a place like this where people want so freely and people are so… provocative.”
“Life is provocative. So is nature, and magic. And dreams.” 
“Is that why you’re a god of desire, too?” He nods once, his eyes on you. “Can you… sense what people innately desire? All the time?” 
You don’t ask the real question, which is: Can you tell what I desire when I’m with you? Still, Yoongi shrugs a shoulder. “Snippets. LIke I said, I try not to pry. I don’t think that anyone here needs to be inspired by me to delve into what they want here, that’s for sure.” His eyes darken. “Though perhaps there is one.”
It is not your imagination when he says it. You know that he means you. This you are sure of. You stare at Yoongi, the rest of the room fading away. He stares right back at you, as though willing you to agree, or to deny his claim. Your heart speeds up and you feel the sweat on your neck, the slick on your palms. 
“You said you’d help me indulge.” Your voice shakes when you say it. “How… do I do that?”
Yoongi’s mouth kicks up at the side. He leans forward and offers you a hand. When you just stare at it, he laughs. “Dance with me.”
“Dancing? That is indulging?” 
“You might be surprised.” 
Tension goes taught between you. You feel it sizzling in the air as you stare one another down. Yoongi’s hand remains outstretched, beckoning. Slowly, you put the cup of cider down and slide your hand into his. You’ve done this so many times, letting him lead you somewhere or help you up. 
When Yoongi grips your hand and pulls you to your feet, it feels different than all the times before. The soft, gentle Eternal of dreams has melted away and left something sharper. Darker. Edgier. Your heart flutters butterfly-fast as he leads you to where there are people spinning in tight circles on the floor. 
Yoongi yanks you toward him, pulling you into his chest. One hand loops over his shoulder, your palm cradling the back of his neck, while the other grips his. His hand goes snuggling around your waist, pulling you firmly to him as he ducks his head toward your ear, voice deep and soft as he whispers, “Follow me.” 
You would follow him anywhere, you think. Anywhere at all. 
Dancing is not something you ever recall doing. It wasn’t necessary where you grew up. Most of your festivals in town were a reserved affair and you’d never been to any parties or celebrations. Most weddings were stiff and formal, and not for merriment as much as respect. 
Now, your world turns into a kaleidoscope of color and laughter. Yoongi spins you around the room, his feet smooth and fast. You stumble to keep up at first, but Yoongi is a confident lead, his steps instructing yours, his hands pulling and guiding you as you go. 
Laughter rushes out of you. You cannot help the glee that glitters in your veins. Yoongi’s laughter is like spilled moonlight. You look up at him with a grin, seeing his gummy smile as he dips you suddenly, making you squeal. Your fingers tangle in his shirt. You know he won’t drop you but the exhilaration is in your veins as he lifts you back up, crushing you to him. 
Your arms and legs burn with effort as you continue. The song changes and Yoongi lets go and spins you. You go crashing into Taehyung’s arms. He’s a far worse dancer than Yoongi, and the two of you are a mess of tripped feet, trilling laughter and elbows into ribs. He pushes you back to Yoongi’s waiting arms. 
It terrifies you how much it feels like home, like a key sliding into a lock. Your arms go around him as his hands squeeze your waist. You come alive where you touch, looking up at him. He watches you, the shadow of his lashes framing delicate eyes. His mouth is red and soft. 
Yoongi’s eyes dart down to your mouth. Your breath catches and he moves a little closer, pressing his head to yours, noses brushing. The entire world vanishes and it’s just Yoongi, his lips so close you can almost taste them, his fingers digging into your hips. 
Your eyes flutter shut just as someone crashes into you. You scream as you’re knocked hard into Yoongi, the two of you stumbling as he catches you from falling over completely. The crowd goes wild with laughter as a man is sprawled on the ground, laughing and drunk, having lost his balance. 
A breathless laugh escapes you as you and Yoongi straighten, separating a little. The moment between you is shattered, clattering away like pieces of broken glass as you catch your breath and gather your wits. You look around, searching for Taehyung only to see him alone at your table, eyes heavy and gaze lingering across the room. You turn to see Jimin leaning on the bar, smiling at something a woman is whispering in his ear. 
Glancing back at Taehyung, you see him shove away from the table and storm out the door. Yoongi notices this too, but he’s slow on the uptake, his hand still on your hip. You shake off his hold on you and go after Taehyung, shouting his name.
Taehyung is just outside the Desert Rose, head tilted down and shoulders pulled up tight around his ears. When you touch the small of his back, he flinches, gazing at you with tear-stained eyes and a look so crestfallen you feel your heart crack.
He sniffs. “This is why,” he whispers. “This is why I told you we can never be. Humans and dreams - we aren’t. We don’t match.” 
“Taehyung,” you whisper. You don’t know what else to say. You open your arms and he leans into you, folding in half as he sobs, breaking down into your shoulder. You hush him gently, holding him tight and squeezing him, trying to pour your love into him. 
Over Taehyung’s shoulder, your gaze settles on Yoongi. He watches the two of you in silence, face impassive. And your heart breaks a little more, realizing the truth of Taehyung’s words. 
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angel-of-the-moons · 4 months
Text
Small Surprises
Moon Knight System (Marc/Jake/Steven) x Single Mother!Reader
TW/CW: Some mentions of past childhood abuse, cheating partner, mostly fluff
A/N: Like the Symbrock one I did, this one will be one whole fic with a few times skips here and there! This fic will also explore a bit more into the autistic side of Steven as a character, based off my own experiences with my autism, tics, habits etc! Also, once again, featuring snippets of the hobby headcanons done by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction! (I love those headcanons so much they are canon as far as I'm concerned asdfghjkl)
Taglist: @chrishy973 @katitakenway @queerponcho
EDIT: Part 2 is out now!!! Read it here!
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Another droll day at the museum, the same disinterested customers and more nagging from Donna. Honestly, Steven was lucky he got his job back at the museum--though he only surmised it was due to the fact nobody else wanted to work for Donna--but he was grateful for the extra income.
And it definitely helped provide a distraction from Jake's night activities for Khonshu, as well as Marc's from time to time.
But of course, even though it provided a distraction, it wasn't much of one.
That is... until the day a poofy mop of curls bounced into the gift shop, eagerly looking at the wares within with big sparkling eyes. The child couldn't have been older than four--maybe five--as she happily looked at the myriad of items available.
Contrasting to most of the little girls he's seen come in (which, were admittedly few) she didn't immediately run over to the cheap horse figures with the chariots or even the cat plushies.
She went right for things like the plushie scarabs, the statues...
This of course had Donna proverbially chewing her nails as she watched the unaccompanied minor scamper about the gift shop.
"I'm going back to do inventory," She warned Steven. "If she breaks anything, it's coming out of your pay, Stevie."
Steven ground his teeth when she called him that, and waited for her to walk away before muttering. "What little you do pay me, you bloody old biddy."
Steven fixed his name tag and walked up to the little girl, crouching next to her as her chubby little face scrunched in what appeared to be distaste.
"Hey there, poppet. What's got you upset, eh?" He asked, his big brown eyes meeting hers as she crossed her arms with a huff.
"They don't look right!" She complained.
"Oh? What doesn't look right?" Steven asked patiently, a warm smile on his face.
The child pointed to the small canvases and posters of the various Egyptian gods. Namely the ones of Bastet and Anubis, and in particular of the two, one of the canvases depicting Anubis surrounded by shrieking souls and flames.
He himself had raised a complaint with that depiction, as after his own time in the Egyptian afterlife (alongside Marc, and unbeknownst to them at the time, Jake) he knew the afterlife was not like that. While they hadn't met Anubis himself, they were guided and weighed by Taweret.
But he wholeheartedly agreed that the artwork of Anubis was entirely wrong, and frankly, offensive.
"'Nubis isn't like that." She said, stomping her little foot. "He's nice!"
Steven raised his eyebrows at her, tilting his head as some stray curls fell over his face. "Oh?" He asked. "Then tell me little one, how is Anubis?"
"He's--!" She scoffed, rolling her eyes in the typical fashion a child does when they feel like they're explaining something painfully obvious to an oblivious adult.
"He's a good dog-man." She says to him. "He doesn't mess with skulls n' stuffs! He's nice, he helps people who might get lost when they die."
'That's a hefty subject for a kid.' Marc's voice spoke.
"No kidding." Jake remarked. "Where are her parents?"
Steven meanwhile, was positively thrilled that one so young understood that Anubis, while being the god of death, was not evil. And... naturally this sent him into info-dump mode.
"Why, yes! Anubis is good." He held up a finger as the little girl looked at him, awe on her face that he understood what she was saying and was willing to actually talk about it.
"He guided souls once they left their earthly bodies." He explained, grabbing a small replica of an Egyptian temple front. "Once their hearts were weighed, if they were good, he would help guide them to the afterlife. If they were bad..."
"They got ate by the crocko-lion!" The girl finished with a gasp.
Steven suppressed the urge to laugh at how she described Ammit. Jake and Marc meanwhile, held no such compunction and were laughing their asses off.
"I like this kid." Jake said as his laughter died down.
"Yes! They did. But did you know they also had to be judged? Not just with the scales?" Steven grinned at her as she bounced on her heels, the palms of her hands rubbing on her coveralls as she listened.
"Now that subject is very lengthy...." Steven leaned over on the flats of his shoes and plucked a small book about the Egyptian afterlife and mythos and showed it to the little girl. The cover was emblazoned with raised gold print; with images of sarcophagi, and motifs scattered on the front and back.
"But it's always worth a good read." Steven continued. "Now, if you want to know someone else who sometimes assists those who've passed on?"
The little girl plucked the book out of Steven's arms, nodding, her eyes tracking the way his mouth and hair moved. Not once did she make eye contact, instead settling for staring at other features instead.
Steven could understand, sometimes looking into people's eyes was... oof. It was difficult and frankly sometimes it made him uncomfortable, made his palms itch and the hair on the back of his neck tickle.
He stood up, and walked to another shelf, the little girl trailing behind him, the book looking three sizes too large for her tiny body as her little light up sneakers squeaked on the waxed linoleum.
Steven reached down, then, and grabbed a plaster statuette of a familiar feminine shape sporting a hippo head and kneeled back down, showing it to her.
"This is Taweret." He beamed proudly.
"She's the nice hippo lady." The child peeped, staring at the statue with rapt attention.
"Yes! Yes, she is! Very nice." Steven chuckled. "But she's also the goddess of motherhood and children, did you know? She protects women when they have their babies, and helps them."
The little girl nodded, "Yeah, I read a thingy 'bout her! She's--"
"Victoria! Oh my god." A breathless voice called from the front of the shop.
The moment Steven lifted his gaze, he could feel his heart catch on his throat when he saw you. Even Marc and Jake went quiet as you approached.
You were wearing some faded-out jeans and a t-shirt with a faded band logo that hugged your figure very nicely. You had a backpack slung over your shoulders and the keychains dangling from it tinkled and clacked as you moved, rushing to scoop up your child.
Steven could easily see that Victoria got her looks from you, those gorgeous inquisitive eyes, her nose, hair texture...
Jake had to give him the mental equivalent of a slap to stop his gawking as he stood up awkwardly, wiping the hand not holding the statue on his jeans as he gave you what he hoped was a charming smile, but judging by your wariness, you obviously weren't thrilled at the sight of your daughter talking to a strange man.
Steven was about to speak up, but Victoria did so instead for him, not reading the tenseness in the situation.
"Steven's my friend!" She beamed, holding the book in her pudgy little fingers, showing you. "He knows about 'Gyptian stuff, too!"
Steven blinked, feeling a blush creep up on his cheeks as you looked at him, raised eyebrows. It took him a moment of awkward glancing away to realize Victoria knew his name because she read his name tag. He hadn't once said it to her. Hell, he only knew her name because you said it when you ran in!
"Ah... Yes. I work here, in the gift shop. Egyptology is a major... um." He struggled to find a word.
"Hyperfixation?" You sigh, the tension easing from your shoulders as you smile tiredly.
"Oh! Yes. I s'pose!" He said, blinking his big doe eyes at you.
"Yeah, Victoria is... well." You chuckle, propping the young child on your hip with practiced ease. "She's obsessed with the stuff! I swear, the stuff she can shove into her noggin with how much she knows of ancient Egypt, it feels like she was born in the wrong era, I'm telling you!"
Victoria smiled happily and snuggled into you, rubbing her cheek on the soft fabric of your shirt with a content hum, almost like a happy little cat.
You didn't pay any mind to her as she rubbed her face on you, instead conversing with the man in front of you.
"Ah... A little scholar to be, eh?" Steven laughed awkwardly.
"Hah, more like she already is one. With everything she knows, I swear she outpaces me in the IQ department." You sigh fondly, brushing a stray curl from your daughter's face.
Steven's eyes anxiously tracked your movements, how your fingers curled, the way your eyelashes brushed your cheeks when you blinked, the way your foot tapped on the floor...
"I'm surprised she talked to you. She's normally very introverted." You hum softly, raising those drop dead gorgeous eyes to lock with his before he awkwardly dropped his eyes to your lips whilst you spoke.
"But then again, if you started talking about this stuff with her, it's no surprise. I'm the only person she talks to about it because nobody else understands."
You noticed his Steven was looking anywhere but your eyes, and how he nervously licked at his lips, his fingers wrapped around the statuette in his hands tapping idly.
"Oh! She's a lovely little conversationalist. Rather well-knowledged as well!" Steven replied, looking at Victoria again, who grinned as she once again rubbed her face on your shirt.
"Honestly, she's more learned than half the adults who try to talk to me about Egypt." He huffed out a chuckle.
His eyes dropped to the picture of Anubis that initially offended the child. "We got into a little debate about how inaccurate those pieces of Anubis are."
"Oh, don't get her started on those inaccurate artworks... She despises them!" You laugh softly.
"Oh, I fully understand why! It's so offensive!" Steven gasped. "Especially to a culture! Anubis is not an evil god by any means!"
"Oh yeah, believe me... we watched a movie the other day and she had a meltdown because they made Anubis the bad guy. She was so distraught it took thirty minutes to calm her down." You smile with infinite patience at your little girl.
"Oh, poor little dear! But I can totally understand that." Steven smiled, finally locking eyes with you as he reached some level of professional comfort with you.
"Mommy, can I get em?" Victoria peeped, interrupting you before you could get another word out.
"Hm?" You hummed at her, raising an eyebrow.
"The book and hippo lady!" She replied, holding up the book.
"Hippo Lady?"
"Yeah!" She said, sounding a little exasperated, pointing to the statue Steven clutched in his hands. "Her! Tawar!"
"Taweret." Steven chuckled softly at her mispronunciation.
"Tawww--" Victoria frowned as she tried to get the word out. "Tawweret."
"Close 'nough. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Steven smiled warmly, holding up the statuette.
"All right, all right." You laughed, following Steven to the counter so you could check out, having another nice chat about what he and Victoria discussed. He even tossed in a little keychain that held a preserved scarab beetle in epoxy, much to Victoria's delight!
What you didn't know as you left the shop, was how positively smitten he was with you already.
That was your first meeting with Steven Grant.
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A few weeks crawled by, and every other day you were at the museum, letting Victoria lead you by the hand as she animatedly discussed what every object or picture meant, and you struggled to keep up, making mental (and a few digital) notes on what she was talking about. Of course, she insisted that after every tour, you stopped to say hi to her new "bestest friend" Steven.
You were thrilled that you found someone who operated on the same wavelength as your daughter, knowing that it was hard for her to make connections with other children, let alone adults. But Steven and Victoria took to each other like ducks to water.
And hey, he seemed harmless enough. Cute, too, beneath that mop of curls. You even started researching more just to be able to tag into the conversations between your daughter and her unlikely friend.
Today, you were at the local grocer and Victoria decided that she wanted to walk with you instead of riding in the trolley on her tablet like she normally did. You were happy, but ensured she kept her noise cancelling headphones over her tiny ears to make sure she stayed comfortable.
You had picked up a pack of steaks to examine the cuts when Victoria slipped your hand free of hers and darted off, squealing, "Steven!"
You almost dropped the steaks when Victoria darted down the aisle and wrapped her arms around the legs of the man she ran towards.
One minute Marc was looking at a box of matzahs, the next, he had a child clinging to his legs.
His whole body froze as he looked down, immediately going rigid as the little girl looked up at him, babbling something he didn't quite understand because of how quickly she was speaking.
He did make out the name "Steven".
"Uh--" He said awkwardly.
"I'm so sorry!" You say, hastily bringing the trolley up to the two. "She just got excited to see you, and..."
Your brows furrowed as you looked at him. He looked like Steven Grant, but he didn't feel like Steven Grant. His normally messy curls were combed back neatly, his flannel hanging open with the sleeves rolled up and T-shirt untucked from his pants. His big brown eyes were wide, looking at you with a face that simply pleaded "Help me".
"Uh..."
"I'm... Marc." He said in an unmistakably American accent.
"Oh. Oh!" You lean down and scoop up Victoria, hastily plopping her in the trolley, willing yourself to ignore her little wobbling lip as you messily search up her favorite video to watch on her tablet to prevent the simmering meltdown you could see just beneath her surface.
"I'm... I'm sorry. You just look like someone we know from the museum, and..." You sigh, rubbing your hands together as you cringed.
"Steven, yeah..." Marc said, giving a stiff smile in return as he dropped the box of what looked like crackers into his basket looped over his elbow.
"You..."
'Play it cool, Marc...' Jake's voice softly warned.
"We're, uh, brothers. Triplets. All identical." He spat out with haste.
"Oh! Well... That's... That explains the looks, huh." You smile, hoping to ease the awkward tension. His explanation didn't sit well with you for some reason, as to why he suddenly blurted it all out. But you chocked it up to him trying to explain to avoid upsetting Victoria.
"But, yeah. Um... Your brother, Steven? He and Victoria are like, best friends now. She looks forward to seeing him whenever we're at the museum." You chuckle softly.
Marc's eyes soften as he smiles, giving Victoria a gentle look. "Yeah, uh, Steven's told me about her. She's a smart kid, huh?"
"Oh, yeah. A real genius." You smile at her as she starts tapping away at her tablet, selecting one of her drawing apps and beginning to scribble.
"Sometimes I can't keep up with her."
"Hey, that's good. She'll go places." Marc replied.
Your smile falters a bit. "Yeah, if people will give her a chance..." You mutter.
Marc was about to ask what she meant, but he kept his mouth shut, watching as Victoria was engrossed with her tablet, her little feet wiggling and tapping on the sides of the trolley as she moved her mouth silently, mouthing words to herself.
"She's... Eh." You rub the back of your neck. "She normally doesn't come to the store with me. She says she can hear the lights buzzing and it upsets her, which is why she has to wear her headphones. I mean I can't hear the lights or anything, but all I need to know is that she can..."
"Yeah, Steven is the same way sometimes. It makes him twitch so he has to wear headphones when we go shopping..." Marc said, frowning.
"Yeah. That's something I'm kind of amazed about. Victoria doesn't really have any friends outside of well, me... and your brother? Steven and her are just... man, they're like two peas in a pod!"
Marc stays quiet as you smile fondly at your child, and he notes the relief in your expression as you recount that your child was able to finally connect with someone. It warmed his heart to know that Steven was able to socialize with someone who shared the same mannerisms, even if she was just a kid.
His eyes flicked down to your hands as you put your hands on your hips, and noted the lack of wedding ring and a ring tan line.
'Focus, cabrón.' Jake snickered.
"She's autistic. It was a pain to get her diagnosed, but we managed. I could tell she was different. Namely how she would act with fabrics." You sigh.
Now that grabbed both Marc and Jake's attention. If Steven were aware and co-fronting, he was sure he would be rapt as well. Steven explained the fabric thing to hime a few times, but being in the same body it was still hard at times to understand that Marc or Jake could feel one thing but Steven could feel another.
"Uh... Fabrics? You'll have to forgive me, but..."
"Oh! It's a sensory thing." You explain, rolling your hand. "With her, it's fleece, or satin-like textures. They irritate her and make her fussy. As a baby I never understood why she flipped out when I would put her little socks on her until the doctor explained it when she was older. But for some people it's cotton, or microfiber... The way Victoria describes it is that it's, uh..."
"Scratchy." Marc murmurs.
"Exactly!" You snap your fingers.
"Yeah, Steven is the same way. Though he's not like that with satin, he usually prefers cotton--the super soft kind? Or silk." Marc nods, shoving one hand in his pocket.
"Yeah... It's thankfully easy to shop for her, she prefers cotton and soft microfiber. It's why she rubs her cheek on my shirts or pants. Some people mistake it for being affectionate--and don't get me wrong sometimes it is--but usually it's a grounding thing." You sigh softly. "It helps her calm down."
"Ah... Sounds hard. What about her dad? He know how to handle it?" Marc asked curiously.
He immediately felt bad when he saw how your expression fell, and you glared at the ground.
"He skipped out on us while I was pregnant. I caught him in our bed with someone I thought was my best friend the day I found out she was a girl." You spit, angry and full of venom.
Marc cringed. "God, your best friend? In your bed? That's a whole extra level of degeneracy..."
"I know! Ugh! I swear, if he wasn't stronger than me I would have stabbed him that day!" You groan.
Marc rocks his head back in shock at the admission. "You were gonna stab him?"
"When you're five months pregnant, hormonal, tired, and sore and walk in on your fiancee doing the deed in your own bed? Yeah, emotions get high." You run a hand through your hair, smirking as you looked back at him.
"Grabbed the knife right outta the block and lunged at him. Chased em both half naked out of my flat."
'Shit, I'd be in love. That sounds sexy as hell.' Marc could just imagine the grin that would be spread across Jake's face at that.
Marc laughed, unable to contain himself, both at the retelling of your story and Jake's remark.
'You got problems, Jake.' Marc shot back mentally.
'Pot, meet kettle...'
'Touché...'
"So it's safe to say, he's out of the picture, huh?" Marc says, his laughter dying down into a soft chuckle.
"Oh yeah. Had his parental rights severed, and kicked his sorry.... well. I tossed him out and told him that my "best friend" could deal with him and his lazy antics, considering I pay for the flat."
"Yikes. Sounds like a real dirt bag."
"Oh yeah, he was. I have no idea what I saw in him, to be honest... And knowing that Victoria isn't "normal" like other kids, I feel like he would treat her badly, or... hurt her." You say, shaking your head.
"Hey, if he shows up and does that just call me." Marc grunted. "I hate it when people do that crap to kids. I'll knock his teeth down his throat."
The words slipped out before he could stop them, and the weight of them almost made them feel oppressive as glimpses of his abusive childhood shone through. The memories of his mother swinging her arm down, the crack of the leather belt, the red, bloody welts in his skin...
'Ay, hermano. Come back, don't think about that.' Jake's voice said gently, urging that door in his mind shut. 'That's not your life, anymore.'
Marc blinked and looked back up at you, his eyes locking with yours. And the concern on your face... he felt so undeserving of it. He wasn't sure why, but...
"Ah... I mean... Let's just say I have experience with that sort of thing. So I'm..." He struggled.
"No, no, I get it. My dad was a piece of shhh..." You cringed as the word almost slipped from you, casting a short glance to Victoria, making sure she couldn't hear you. "Er. He was bad. So yeah, I totally get you."
"Oh... Sorry, people get weirded out when I..." He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Disassociate." You finish for him. "I used to do the same thing when it came to my dad. It gets easier once you're free of it, I promise."
The soft, sweet smile you give him was strong enough to make his heart jump into his throat.
'Wow...'
'Ask. Her. Out. Steven won't do it, so you do it!' Jake urged him.
Marc choked suddenly, coughing awkwardly to clear his throat at Jake's further commentary.
"You okay?" You ask him.
"Y-Yeah, I just... Uh..." He cringed again. "It's... allergies! I've been dealing with them since we dusted the flat, and... Yep. Allergies."
You chuckle softly at him as Victoria tugs on your sleeve and whispers in your ear.
"Oop, mama duty calls. It was nice meeting you, Marc." You grin, giving him a short handshake.
"Yeah... You too." Marc replied as you walked off, giving Victoria a wave as she peeked over your shoulder as you push the trolley away.
'Allergies? Smooth, Marc. Really smooth. How the hell did you ever bag Layla with romantic skills like that?' Jake sighed sarcastically.
'I swear Layla probably only married you for your dick, man. You're so BAD at romance.'
Marc knew Layla did love him, at one point but with all the drama of being Moon Knight, it quickly snuffed that relationship... They were still close of course, but they'd never open up to another intimate relationship again. Which was fine, none of them minded particularly.
Especially not now. Not now that there's a cute single mom with and adorably--scarily--smart little girl on her hip to occupy those thoughts.
And that... was your first time meeting Marc Spector.
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Now, meeting Jake was different. Completely different. You technically "met" Jake weeks after you met Marc and built a rapport with him.
One night, Jake was sitting in the window, munching on some saltines he'd spread with sunflower butter as he read some old knitting patterns in a book he'd picked up at a resale shop.
He thought he could knit something for both you and Victoria and have Steven give it to you, it would be a good way to start actually flirting, to hopefully open up that door for all of you.
But of course... well. He knew Steven was way too shy to ask you out on a date, and Marc was too chicken shit and awkward about the subject to bring it up himself.
And so, it fell upon Jake Lockley to find a way to get closer to you, two. He understood that many single mothers found it tricky to date, especially with a child like Victoria. It would require immense levels of trust to get past those walls you would have put up to protect both you and Victoria, especially after you'd told Marc about Victoria's biological father fucking your best friend the day of your ultrasound.
He could just imagine how your poor face fell when you closed your front door, hearing the ridiculously high-pitched, false moans and the squeaking of the mattress as that miserable excuse of a man was having his way with your supposed "best friend"...
All while your hands would have clutched the pictures of your unborn baby girl, tears bubbling up in your eyes as you screamed at them while they scrambled to cover their shame.
And then.... as you told Marc, you would have grabbed the knife and the rest was history; bidding goodbye to that cheating bastard and woman you once trusted.
You were strong, loving and oh so patient with your daughter and her needs. Jake found your whole being attractive, honestly. He hadn't seen you angry, but he just knew you were a badass if you wanted to be.
He chuckled as he picked up his knitting needles, and began to loop the soft, thick yarn through each line. He was sure to pick yarn that wouldn't upset Victoria and her sensory issues, so he picked the softest yarn he possibly could, selecting enough to make the both of you matching jumpers.
Victoria's would be a little big, to allow for comfort and her to grow into it as she wore it. He could just imagine how adorable she'd look with the sleeves hanging over her little hands, squirming and giggling as you two played together--
Jake's hands stopped knitting.
Shit. He had it down bad for you, too.
When he looked down, that's when he noticed the green laser pointed right at him...
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You were there, simply cleaning up the mess from dinner as Victoria happily colored on her dry erase board, drawing the shapes and hieroglyphs she saw in the book Steven selected for her.
She had been quiet and engrossed in her little art project for so long that you jumped and almost dropped a plate on the floor when she squealed loudly.
"Mommy, it's Steven! Or Mister Marc?"
"Huh? What?" You looked around your flat, for some reason your brain told you to look inside instead our our the window where her little finger tapped the glass excitedly.
"No, there!" She insisted. "Over there!"
You walk over to her and lean down, looking out the window.
And sure enough, across the street, in the building across from yours, an apartment had the curtains open with the lights on.
In one of the windows, at a desk, sat a man. The streets were close enough together that you could make out some details. The shadow of a mustache being the first thing you zeroed in on, and then the immaculately slicked-back hair.
He looked like he was... knitting? This man, who looked like Steven and Marc. Marc and Steven both mentioned on different occasions that they had a brother named Jake, maybe this was him?
And wow! So close by, too!
Victoria waved her arms, trying to get her attention, but the man was so absorbed in his task that he didn't notice her try to get his attention. When her little disappointed sniffles could be heard, you snap your fingers.
"I got an idea!" You say, dashing to the end table by the front door and rummaging through the various keychains you'd accumulated. It was a guilty habit of yours, you found.
But then you pluck up the laser toy and run back to the window. It takes shaking it once or twice for the green light to illuminate, but when it does, you shine it directly through the window and at the man's chest.
Then, he looked up.
You break out into a happy grin when he spots the two of you, and Victoria giggles with unabated glee as she waves some more, her whole tiny body moving with every shake of her overly excited hand.
You see the man smile back and he waves at the both of you.
"Hey, baby, why don't we use your board to say hi?" You suggest, rubbing her shoulders.
"Yeah!" She giggles, grabbing the board and erasing her painstakingly re-created drawings from the book, and messily scrawled the word:
Hi :)
The man laughed and looked around until he grabbed a notebook, scribbled something with a marker, and held it up for you two to see.
Hello
You chuckle as Victoria hands you the board, knowing that your writing is neater than hers is, and with how excited she is, she was bound to mess up.
You quickly and clearly write something down and turn the board to face the window.
Steven or Marc?
He smiled at you and scribbled back.
Jake
Marc n Steven told us about you. Hi!
They've told me a lot about you, too.
"That's Jake, honey. Remember what I said? How Steven and Mister Marc look alike? He's the same way." You explain to Victoria.
"Oh." She sighs. Poor little thing seemed dejected that once again, she misidentified someone as her "bestest friend".
You lift your eyes as Jake showed what he put on the notepad next. It was a badly drawn cat with a happy face on it.
You can't help but laugh and grin, nudging Victoria to look at what he drew for her.
"It's a kitty!" She gasps, snatching the board from your hands to draw pictures for him.
You spent much of the evening that night with Victoria and Jake drawing pictures back and forth, writing messages until he ran out of paper.
That's when you put down your phone number and told him to text, to make it easier on Victoria.
Victoria, upon realizing this, dropped her board and snatched your phone, starting a video call with Jake and chattering his ear off. He seemed to take it in stride, engaging with her. Not on the same level as Steven, but something about how he handled it gave you the impression he had experience with kids, or even worked with kids.
He didn't talk down or dumb anything down for her, he spoke to her calmly and clearly like he would anyone else, and the fact he was so sweet was endearing to you.
He was even teaching her little words in Spanish. For some reason, she liked to repeat the word "cat" because she liked how it sounded, and it was "funny".
That was how you met Jake Lockley.
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It was now half a year since you'd indirectly met all three "brothers" and quickly, the pressure was beginning to mount on them to reveal the truth to you as their crush developed more and more into full infatuation with you and your darling girl.
But they still hadn't asked you out, yet. They'd come close a few times, but it was never when Jake was in control so Marc and Steven backed down at the last possible moment. Every time Jake was in control it wasn't a "good moment" for them to propose a date with you. But now?
It was late in the year, the harvest festival being over with and the holidays around the corner with Christmas, as usual, dominating all others. Snow and ice encased everything. It came early this year, and Victoria couldn't be more thrilled. (She could build snowmen with her friends, Steven, Mister Marc and Mister Jake!)
You and Jake would text, and he gave in and told you that he, Marc, and Steven all actually lived together and he would "let" Steven or Marc use his phone so he could video chat with Victoria and you.
You didn't know the boys all shared the same phone regardless.
It was nice having a social life again, even if it was small. Outside work and ensuring a comfortable upbringing for your little girl, you'd forgotten how nice it was to have friends. Even if those friends consisted of three identical, quirky brothers who lived in the flat across the way.
The day was coming soon, for when they would have to confess to you about the true nature of their identities. And the three unanimously agreed that they would tell you about Moon Knight.
For your safety, and Victoria's. They didn't want you to agree to date them (if you ever would) only to find out they snuck out in the dead of night to do the bidding of some creepy ancient bird god who could frankly do with a wardrobe update...
They just didn't anticipate that day to be today. Of course, Steven would rather have broken the news to you over a nice dinner in the corner booth of a quiet restaurant. Or even on a nice walk through the park...
But no. No, it had to come out when you decided to pull out your phone and go through your texts or the day as Victoria sat in Steven's lap on the couch of your living room.
Jake had sent a meme earlier in the day, of a little cat wearing a sombrero and you chuckled. You sent a meme back in reply, of a snail holding some maracas on some drawn-on arms.
That's when Steven twitched when the phone in his back pocket vibrated and chimed with a silly little ringtone.
You blinked at him as he fished it out of his pocket, careful not to knock Victoria off balance as he checked it. He awkwardly cleared his throat and gave you a strained smile as he set it on the coffee table in front of you.
"You okay..." You say, eyeing the very familiar phone. They could just have the same model and case...
"Oh, yes, just an email alert, luv. Don't worry 'bout it!" Steven chirped, quickly shifting his attention back to Victoria as she practiced her reading from the book in her hands.
You squint at him suspiciously. Your finger hovered over the send button when you selected another silly little image...
But you decided to call instead.
That's when a song began to chime. One you recognized very well as Steven's favorite song...
♫"Lonely is a man,
Without looove~"♫
'God damn it, Steven! You forgot to put it on silent again!' Marc's panicked voice shouted inside their headspace.
'Ay, hermanito, not now!' Jake groaned.
Steven began to sweat profusely as Victoria handed the phone innocently to him, urging him to answer it, not making the correlation with the song, or your phone number...
Steven shakily held the phone to his ear and answered.
"H-Hello..."
"Steven." You deadpan, raising an eyebrow and tapping your finger on your arm.
'Shit shit shit shit.' Marc hissed.
'Busted.' Jake almost sang.
You look at Victoria, hesitant to interrupt her time with Steven, but you wanted answers. Why is it that none of the men ever agreed to all meet up in person to hang out? Why did you only ever see one at a time? Yes, work was a convenient excuse, but every single day?
And then there's the phone!
Yeah, you weren't letting Steven wiggle free from this talk, even as Victoria pouted and trudged back into her room to play with her toys.
You almost feel like a cop in a bad movie, the way you lean back with your arms crossed, almost like you were an interrogator in a police precinct.
Would this make you both the bad and good cop?
You felt so bad, knowing that this kind of behavior would only freak Steven out, so you relaxed your jaw and posture, leaning away from him and giving him breathing room as his sweaty hands began to pat nervously in the memorized tune of that specific song that was just playing.
"I'm not blind, and I'm not dumb... So start from the beginning." You sigh. "I don't want anything to come out and upset Victoria, but I have to know who I'm letting around my little girl."
Steven licked at his slightly chapped lips, taking his bottom lip between his teeth briefly.
"Okay..." He peeped.
'Just take it slow, Steven.' Marc urged him gently.
'I can take control, if you want.' Jake offered.
"No, that's too much right now." Steven muttered aloud, without thinking.
You tipped your head to the side. "What's too much?"
Steven jumped and covered his mouth, his big doe eyes wide as can be, like he's a little boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
He despised awkward situations like this. He could never tell what to say to keep someone happy and to avoid them getting angry with him...
"Steven, I'm not mad. I'm honestly confused. Please... Just... Tell me everything, okay? I just wanna know some things." You say, leaning forward to put your hand on his knee, your ever so patient eyes sweet and understanding.
Yeah, those eyes were his undoing.
"Do you know what Dissociative Identity Disorder is?"
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Whatever you had originally expected to hear from Steven, finding out that he, Marc and Jake all shared the same body was a lot to absorb. Especially after Steven blurted out about their superhero alter ego that apparently did bidding for an Egyptian god?
Steven expected you to be mad, braced himself for it, but instead, he and his two headmates were knocked entirely off center when you made the remark that if Khonshu ever got to be too much for the boys, they should lock him in a room with Victoria and her never-ending questions.
That would shut him up for a little while, surely.
Another thing you weren't expecting was the date proposal from Steven (and of course Marc and Jake).
You hesitated, at first... But...
They were so kind and sweet. They already have shown so much care for you and your daughter... And you were honestly happy to realize that you weren't crushing on different guys, that your feelings were no longer awkward and conflicted.
Or wait, were you crushing on different men? Yes they were completely different identities, but they shared a body, and... oh, this was gonna take time to learn more about.
Your first date was for later that week. Steven informed you it would be Jake, taking you out, as he felt like a "bloody awkward fool" and was afraid of messing it up, and Marc was just as bad at those social situations.
But you agreed, and when the date rolled around, you and Victoria were bundled up, all ready to go to the charming little Italian restaurant somewhere in town where apparently Jake was friendly with the employees there.
Victoria skipped in the snow, struggling to match her pace with yours, making sure her footsteps were measured so her prints mirrored yours exactly as she walked on her little tippy toes.
As you approached where Jake had his car parked, he smiled, his mustache quirking up as he scooped Victoria in his large gloved hands, laughing when she dragged her fingers over his hairy upper lip, comparing the stache to a caterpillar.
You stifled a snort and covered your mouth as you watched Jake buckle Victoria into a booster seat in the back of his car.
"Where did you..." You blinked. You fully intended to run back to your flat and grab the booster seat you owned, but you were surprised to see Jake already had one. A rather expensive-looking one, at that.
"Ay, cariño, you didn't think I'd let the little chiquita ride unprotected, did you?" He smirked at you, his dark eyes glinting mischievously.
"But, I have one. You didn't have to..."
"Hey, if it makes it easier, I'll be happy to foot the bill." Jake hummed, leaning in to check Victoria's buckles as she played on her tablet, snow-caked shoes kicking lazily as she did.
Normally, Jake was insane about his car. He always made sure his fares cleaned their damn feet off before getting inside. But for you two he willingly made the exception.
"Now, c'mon mamacita." Jake grinned at you once more as he enabled the child lock and closed the door on Victoria's side. "We got lunch to get to, right?"
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You couldn't remember the last time you were on a date. Actually wait, you could. The night you got pregnant. One of the only times Victoria's sperm donor was ever romantic with you, and he proposed the next morning after.
Yeah, you knew how that story ended.
But now it looked like a whole new book was being written right in front of you, as cliché as it all sounded.
Jake had treated you both well, engaging happily and drawing with Victoria on the activity mat the restaurant provided as you sipped your glass of red wine, watching; your heart was fluttering in your chest as you watched how happy she was interacting with them.
After a while, he went back out to his car and returned with a sparkly red gift bag for the two of you and you immediately felt your heart lurch up from your chest and into your throat.
He knitted the two of you matching jumpers. A mama cat and her kitten, of course, he managed to do it in an Egyptian style, much to Victoria's glee as she ripped off her regular jumper in favor of the one Jake made, immediately rubbing her face on the sleeve with a happy giggle.
You couldn't help but smile warmly as Jake helped her pop her head through the top, and you decided to slip yours on, yourself.
God, it was almost surreal how Hallmark it all seemed. Not one, but three men interested in you, a lonely single mother. All three men who adored your daughter and treated you both with respect. All three men, who shared the same body and nighttime secret.
And you found yourself falling just as hard, and somewhere in the back of your mind wondered if--if--you had met them first... would they have been Victoria's father(s)? Would they have rejoiced in your pregnancy? Gone to your appointments, held your hand in the delivery room? Would they have helped the doctors weigh and print Victoria for the very first time?
Your mind was knocked out of the what-ifs when your phone jingled, catching Jake's attention.
"Oh, it's Victoria's pediatrician. I have to take this." You sigh sadly, not wanting to step away from the cozy atmosphere in your booth.
Jake smiled at you and winked, "Go ahead and take it. I got her handled."
You smiled back, hoping the flush to your face wasn't as obvious as you feared as you got up and answered the call.
Jake continued to play and draw with Victoria, letting her explain how some of her learning games worked, what apps were her favorite, and who her favorite cartoon characters were.
Honestly, if anyone thought Steven was great with Victoria thanks to their same autistic traits? Jake was good simply because he was a natural with kids. Marc was, too, but he was a bit stiff and nervous. He needed to be eased into it just a bit more.
"Hey.... Psst. Mister Jake." Victoria whispered to him, blinking her big, bright, gorgeous eyes up at him.
"Yeah? What is it, gatita?" Jake hummed at her, grinning.
She waved her hand, urging him closer as she whispered conspiratorially, cupping her hand over his ear, "Look where Mommy's standing."
Jake lifts his gaze to find you among the crowd of people, where you stood on your phone, talking to the doctor about Victoria's upcoming appointment. He tracked where Victoria was pointing, and that's when he saw it: the mistletoe.
He knew immediately what Victoria was hinting at.
"That means you gotta kiss my Mommy." She whispered to him again.
"Oh, I do, huh?" Jake teased, poking her in the side. "And what if I don't?"
"Then Imma make you!" She squeaked and giggled.
"Oh, dear, then in that case I definitely have to do it, eh?" He chuckled.
"C'mon." Jake said, scooping Victoria up and holding her on his hip. "Let's go give another present to your wonderful mamá."
As they got closer to you, he caught the tail-end of your conversation.
"...yeah. Next Wednesday at 3pm. See you, then, Doctor Wilson. ...Of course! Happy holidays." You say cheerily, ending the call.
When you turned around, you saw Jake holding Victoria against him as he walked closer to you.
The sight really shouldn't have taken your breath away the way that it did...
But if you thought your breath was taken before? It was entirely robbed from you as Jake leaned in, wrapping an arm around your waist as he tipped his head down to kiss you, his mustache tickling your nose and upper lip.
You were so taken aback that you didn't hear the whooping and laughing from the workers of the restaurant as the scene unfolded in front of them, congratulating Jake.
Victoria squirmed and squealed and laughed and laughed, rubbing her face on Jake's leather jacket as your lips finally parted and your jaw dropped.
"What's the matter, mamacita? Cat got your tongue?"
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God, dating those men was the best decision you ever made. Even with them being Moon Knight.
They were kind enough to always say goodnight to Victoria before they went about their business, giving you a soft kiss before whichever one was in control of the body departed.
You had only been dating a short while, it was now entering February and you were all spending more and more time together. Marc, Jake, and Steven had all spent the night once or twice in their own time.
Nothing sexual happened, but it was so nice to fall asleep with someone wrapping their arms around you. It was even better to wake up and see Victoria snuggled onto his chest, his arms caged around her protectively, flexing when she made any movements as his unconscious body ensured she wouldn't roll off of him and--god forbid--onto the floor.
It was a few days before Valentine's, and Marc had spent the day with you and Victoria. He had gotten much more comfortable around her, falling into a natural and gentle routine unique to them. Just like she had with Steven, and Jake. And above all, they handled her autism well.
Steven was exceptionally good at helping distract her during her meltdowns, whereas Jake could cradle her, singing little songs in Spanish as he rubbed her back. Marc would start by talking to her in a low, gentle tone, urging her to just breathe, and talk, explaining what was upsetting her and what would work best to help her calm down from it.
But right now, Victoria was in the midst of a battle against sleep.
"Don' wanna sleep." Victoria sniffled into Marc's jumper.
"I know, babydoll, but you'll feel loads better once you do, mkay?" He murmured quietly to her as he padded, barefoot into Victoria's almost obnoxiously canary-yellow bedroom.
"I can make some apple pancakes for you in the morning, hm? How's that sound?"
He dodged the minefield of toys scattered about and chuckled softly at the shelf where her little ancient Egypt memorabilia sat meticulously organized alongside her books and drawings on the subject. A half-finished paper sarcophagus lay on the desk in the corner, a project Steven had started with her two days ago that they intended to finish together.
Marc laid her down and she nodded, rubbing her eye. "Okay..." She mumbled in agreement.
Marc picked up the plushy scarab that Steven bought from the gift shop and handed it to her, tucking her in all nice and warm.
"There you go." He said softly to her, kneeling next to the bed. "Snug as a bug in... well. Blankets, right now, huh?"
He grinned when Victoria giggled groggily at his pun, squeezing the beetle plush she named "Digger" and snuggled under the blankets, her feather lashes brushed her cheeks as she began to drift off.
"See you in the morning, babydoll." Marc said softly, giving her a kiss to her forehead before standing.
His finger had just flipped the switch to turn off the lights in her room, so only the salt lamp dimly illuminated her bedside, when he heard her peep as she rolled over.
"G'night daddy."
He felt like his heart stopped beating as he shakily closed the door, dragging his suddenly very heavy feet through your flat as he made his way to your couch, the weight of that word landing on his shoulders.
He felt like Atlas, carrying the world on his back as he dropped down onto the chocolate brown cushions.
You walk over, having finished dishes from dinner, wiping your hands on a tea towel. Upon seeing his shell-shocked expression, you sit next to him in concern as he covered his face with his hands, his arms shaking and skin pale.
"Marc, sweetie, what's wrong?"
"I..." He said, his voice breaking.
You lean in, reaching out to brush a hand through his mop of curls, letting him take his time. Maybe Steven or Jake was trying to front? You've seen how taxing it could be on them when it happened so suddenly. One time Steven had seized control in the kitchen from Jake and he fell and cracked his head open on the counter! Poor Victoria cried when she saw how much he was bleeding, scared that he was dying.
It took a lot of hugs and kisses to convince her otherwise...
"She... God. Fuck." Marc swore softly, sniffing. "She--she called me daddy."
Your jaw dropped and you gawked at him. Was Victoria already so attached to him? To them? But then again, she's never had a father figure, before, either, and suddenly having not one, but technically three men in her life doing all the things a dad should do? You can understand why she would--hell, why you would...
He dropped his arms and you could see the beginnings of tears clump in his beautiful eyelashes, heavy weights of emotion settling deep in his chest.
He looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away. God, he didn't deserve all of this. He didn't deserve this... this domesticity. Guys like him just didn't get to have a life like that. Not with everything he's had to do as a soldier, a mercenary... in Khonshu's name.
He didn't deserve such a beautiful woman, or the idolized gaze of her sweet and innocent baby girl.
'You're too hard on yourself, Marc.' Steven said to him in their headspace.
'Yeah, hermano...' Jake murmured.
"Marc, honey..." You say, leaning in and adjusting your position, so your head lay on his chest. You spread your hand over his heart, feeling how it hammered in the muscle of his chest.
"I just... What the hell did I do to get this?" He asked softly, bringing his arms around you to bury his nose in your hair.
"Well, I think it all started the day a certain little girl wiggled free of me and ran into a gift shop..."
Marc chuckled, squeezing you tight.
"Would you want us to?" He whispered. "Would you want us to stay? Would you be okay with that? I know it's soon, and--and I'm not saying we move in or anything like that, but..."
"I think it would crush Victoria if I ever shoo'd you boys away, honey." You assured him, tipping your head up to give him a sweet kiss.
You feel the tension slowly bleed from his body and his expression softens into a heartbreakingly sweet smile, his dark eyes sparkling with a warmth that you haven't seen before as your lips parted.
"Then we'll stay. As long as you both will put up with us." He said to you, his voice so quiet you almost couldn't catch his words.
"How do Steven and Jake feel about her calling you daddy?" You smile slyly.
Marc grins and drops his head back with a laugh, listening to the bickering of his headmates as his anxiety ebbed away.
"Oh... They're arguing over who Vicky is gonna call daddy next."
"We need to think of nicknames for you guys so she doesn't confuse you." You laughed with him.
Your laughter was cut short when you heard Victoria's door click open, and out she waddled, blanket clutched in one arm, Digger firmly squeezed into the crook of her elbow and her thumb was in her mouth. She only sucked her thumb when she was frightened, or severely anxious.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Marc asked, shooting to his feet even before you could, at her side in a split second.
You joined him and put your hands on her shoulders, looking into her drowsy and not-entirely-awake eyes. "Did you have a bad dream?"
She shook her head, mumbling something around her thumb.
"What is it, kiddo?" Marc inquired next.
She pulled her thumb out of her mouth with a pop.
"There's a bird-man in my room."
853 notes · View notes
attapullman · 5 months
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Domesticated | Robert "Bob" Floyd
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Summary: On a lazy Sunday morning with Robert Floyd and your twin girls, you're reminded exactly how well he takes care of your family. And you.
Word Count: 3.6K
Warnings & Notes: Robert “Bob” Floyd x f!reader, 18+ ONLY as always, smut, unprotected p in v, creampie, daddy!kink, children, reader has given birth, mentions of pregnancy, food mentions, slice of life vibes, unrealistic depiction of toddlers. This is repurposed and heavily edited from another fic of mine, so if you recognize it...glad to see we're enjoying the same fandoms. Daddy!Bob makes me so damn feral...Lewis has been giving dad vibes this fall...so this is sooooo entirely self indulgent. Sorry not sorry.
The early sun seeps through the thin curtains you bought last summer, the ones you assured your husband would keep the bedroom dark. You were wrong, but he’s never corrected you. Soft cotton rustles beneath you as you turn to your side, burrowing your head in Bob’s chest to enjoy these last few moments of quiet. Enjoying the way his fingers trace along your back as your breaths fall in sync. His eyes flit to the clock on the nightstand, disappointed it’s already six.
As if on cue, the patter of tiny feet sound across the hallway toward where your husband holds you.
The bedroom door flies open and in come your twin girls. Alice and Iris bound into the room, giggles following their every step. You and Bob exchange looks before shutting your eyes, focusing on evening your breathing to mimic sleep. If they fall for your trick they’ll go back to their room to play on this sleepy Sunday morning.
No such luck.
Iris launches her body onto your husband, and Bob flies up in surprise, nearly launching the toddler into space. He catches her in midair and the two exchange matching shocked expressions in their blue eyes. Her sister clambers on her father as well, hoping to join this “hop on pop” game he’s unknowingly created.
From your position still pretending to sleep, you admire Bob. Robert Floyd is everything you could want in a life partner. As a husband, he is attentive and sweet, willing to work through the good and the bad. As a father, he is loving and involved, prioritizing his daughters as much as possible while gunning for admiral.  In the five years since you said “I do” he has done nothing but improve your life. It was the best decision you’ve ever made.
Aware of your attention, he catches your barely open eyes and smiles. His hair sticks up in the back from the pillow, and a thick chunk of sun-washed blonde falls over his forehead. He raises a hand to push it back, but the strands are stubborn without product. Bleary cobalt eyes are rubbed before he reaches across the nightstand for his glasses. Once Bob can clearly see he holds the toddlers and bounces them lightly on his knees. Fatherhood is second nature to him, taking to the bumps and joys like he was born for them. Your heart soars with love for the three special humans sat before you.
Knowing your sleep facade is over, you fake a big yawn and sit up, scooting closer to your family. Arms outstretched, Alice clambers into your lap, her bedhead tickling your chin. You smooth down her hair, a soft press of your lips to her crown before leaning over to peck another onto Iris’s cheek. 
Bob looks at your expectantly, left out from your affection. The tiniest of pouts on his lips. You lean forward over both girls to leave a chaste kiss on your husband’s lips. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, gorgeous.” The smile doesn’t leave your face until well after your children have dragged you out of bed in search of breakfast.
Once in the kitchen, you lean a hip against the butcher block counter, glancing over the oatmeal packet in the midst of deciding if you want to boil water or use the convenience of the microwave. Two hungry mouths make the choice. As you pop two bowls in the small appliance you feel a presence behind you.
“May I have breakfast too?”
He’s giving you his best puppy eyes, those bright blue bespectacled eyes hopeful. Food always tastes better prepared by his wife. Strong hands wrap around you, squeezing your hips. You’re immediately helpless. “If you sit at the table like your daughters I can possibly make you something to eat. Eggs sound good?”
Your smiling husband nods his agreement, already heading to the kitchen nook where the twins are drawing the images inside their minds. He settles into a sturdy wooden chair, his jean clad legs spreading out under the table, the faded Navy recruitment t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders as he grabs a crayon to make his own scribbles. Well, scribbles in the way crayon can depict only so much of a fairly detailed Super Hornet he’s been working on all week.
The microwave beeps as you finish up the eggs, completing the four breakfasts as you bring them over. A fresh cup of coffee in your spot  from when he noticed you were low. 
“I knew there was a reason I married you.”
His cheeks blush dusty rose as he dips toast into the runny yolk of his egg. Some days he can’t believe you agreed to marry him, that you wear his ring and bore his children and make sure he leaves each morning with a kiss and a reminder of how much you love him. He’s the luckiest man alive.
Breakfast is enjoyed amongst the chatter of your toddlers. Silence is rare in the house. If there isn’t a fictional tale they’ve fashioned about a toy, it’s continuous questions about inanimate objects and things they’ve seen. Once Bob fell asleep watching the music channel and the girls found themselves watching old KISS videos for an hour.
It was a personal hell mixed with a nightmare hearing them describe everything in graphic detail to Bob’s parents during Friday night dinner. 
As you finish your eggs, the twins prattle on about the latest nursery school drama. You’ve never met Connie, but she sounds like a right ol’ jerk for a three year old. Bob nods along passionately, giving his full attention over his nearly empty coffee mug. You have no doubt he will be bringing this up at the next school conference.
With breakfast out of the way, there’s only one other responsibility on a lazy Sunday in the Floyd household. Grocery shopping.
Alice makes a big deal of wearing the socks with a red trim, one of which seems to be missing, and the next half hour is dedicated to Bob and you crawling around the second bedroom peering under furniture. Bob pleads with her to wear any other sock to no avail. No socks if she wants. Thankfully you locate the lone article under some books. How did that get there?
Bob pushes a jacket onto your shoulders with a soft kiss to your cheek as the family trudges out, two toddlers in tow and a long grocery list between your fingers. You turn to give him a proper peck, feeling the slight upturn of his lips as you linger a second longer than necessary.
Once in the store, twins strapped in the cart that their father pushes, you compare the list to the surrounding aisles. Concentration broken by tiny hands pointing out anything shiny or brightly coloured, their favourite characters on the packaging. Bob isn’t much better, subtly adding specialty trail mixes into the cart. You remind the group there’s a list - an agreed upon list - but try saying that to three pouty faces with their hearts set on crackers shaped like planes. “Just like Daddy’s!”
How could you say no to that??
As the car pulls into the driveway of your home, the rear mirror reveals two small faces fast asleep. Alice’s thumb is lodged between her lips, a habit she can’t seem to break, while her sister looks angelic with both hands tucked beneath her head with pouty lips. They look so much like Bob when they sleep, not a care in the world upon their smooth brows.
“Looks like we have two down,” you whisper to Bob. He looks back at them and has to stifle a laugh.
“If you put away the groceries, I’ll get them down for a nap.” You open your mouth to protest. It’s a lot to handle both. “You do all of this yourself when I’m deployed. Give me this.”
Robert Floyd continually makes you fall in love with him.
Car doors open and shut before he’s laden down with a child in each arm. The sight sets off something in your stomach, and you focus harder on grabbing the bok choy that rolled out of one of the bags. 
You’ve busied yourself putting groceries in their respective places when you feel hands wrap around you for the second time today. “Thank you for putting away the groceries, my beautiful wife.”
His face is buried in your neck, nose tracing the junction of your shoulder as he breathes in your scent. Those strong arms, veiny under a coat of sun-lightened hairs, tighten around you. He’s missed afternoons when it was just you two, galavanting around the house without little ears to hear. 
You twist in Bob’s arms, intertwining your own arms around his lithe waist. Any space between you gone - just two hearts beating as one as you gaze into each other’s eyes. One dexterous hand slides up your back before weaving its way into the strands of your hair. The other slides down to settle above your bum. His fingers twitching to stroke along the seat of your jeans. The desire you felt earlier raises its head again as your eyes trace along his smooth, strong jaw and kind eyes.
“You know, the girls are asleep.”
He chuckles. “Yes?”
“They’ll probably be asleep for another 45 minutes. Maybe an hour if we’re lucky.”
“What are you thinking, sweetheart?”
You widen your eyes and pout your lips ever so slightly. Run your finger down the front of that sexy faded shirt he only wears on the weekends. “I need some adult time with you…Daddy.”
As if a switch has been flipped, Bob’s eyes go from a soft blue to indigo, his grip on you tight. Lips descend upon yours. As your bodies collide, already so little space between you, a moan is trapped between, its owner impossible to identify.
Time sensitivity leads to urgency, and he’s backing you out of the kitchen toward the bedroom, his hand refusing to leave your ass. Steady kisses to your lips and jaw leave you in a trance as you wind your way down the hall. The door closes and you pounce, wrapping your legs around his waist as those strong arms show their strength. 
Your mouths are hot and wet, tongues battling for dominance as you commit this feeling to memory. His hands around the back of your thighs, thin lips slotted against yours, the breathy moans when you play with the hair at the back of his neck. The pressing need to be as close to him as possible, soaking in his essence in the short time allotted before having to share him again.
“Daddy, I need you.” Your voice is breathless and needy, mouth glossy as he nips along your neck. Hips roll into yours as he groans against your skin. 
Bob has always been dominant in your relationship. He spends enough time letting others call the shots, but in the bedroom he makes the rules. But his Daddy kink didn’t rear its head until you showed him the pregnancy test with the two little lines. It was the tension in his shoulders when you whispered he was going to be a daddy. The little moan when you said it again later that night while he kissed along your thighs. Ever since the term of horny endearment got him hot and bothered in seconds.
He gently pushes you onto the bed, standing between your thighs as he hungrily admires the mother of his children, his wife, the hot girl in the bar his squadron watched him moon over before finally making a move. The erection straining behind his jeans twitches as bespectacled eyes trace over the swell of your breasts.
“I love your body.” His voice is almost soft as he runs his fingers over your top. “It’s so sexy.”
You chuckle through your moans, enjoying the delicious feeling of him stroking your nipples through layers of fabric. When he pushes the hem up your stomach, eyes intensely focused on every inch of exposed skin, you sit up and pull the offending fabric from your body. Nimble fingers slip over your back as the hook of your bra is undone, a sigh of relief leaving you as your breasts are freed.
“The best part of you having kids? Your tits got huge.” His hands cover the flesh, expertly kneading his favourite part of you impatiently. “They barely even fit in my hands anymore.”
A gasp forces itself past your lips as he tugs a nipple sharply.
Soft lips wrap around the bud he isn’t teasing, wetting the skin before pulling back to blow air across your hot skin. You whimper at the sensation, thrusting your chest toward his mouth for more. He offers you an unsympathetic smirk before switching his torture to the other side. Your jean-clad hips buck up against his as quiet, strangled cries fill the air as he plays with you at his own whim.
A glance at the clock reminds him that he can’t enjoy you as he’d like. Leaning back on his haunches, he treats you to a little striptease as your chest heaves in a desperate bid for more attention.
His arm reaches behind his head, pinching the fabric of his shirt. Your mouth fills with saliva, desperate to lick along the vein that protrudes along his bicep. He pulls the shirt over his head, revealing milky skin tantalizingly slow, revealing his strong chest and those broad shoulders that you’ve spent many a night thinking about. You gulp as images flood your brain of sitting on those shoulders as he tongues fucks your pussy. 
Your underwear is thoroughly soaked by now. 
He lowers himself against your body, sponging kisses along every inch of skin he can reach. 
“What do you want, baby girl?” His nose bumps you as lips tease your ear. You mumble a response, desperate for anything to soothe the burning beneath your skin. “What’s that?”
You wail as he rubs your covered cunt. It feels so good, but you want more. You need more. 
“I-I need you to fuck me.” The words are breathless as they escape your panting mouth. Lips brush your ear again as he whispers Ask nicely against your skin. “Please fuck me, Daddy.”
The groan that escapes Bob’s mouth is so sexy it’s surprising you don’t orgasm on the spot. Especially when you glance between your legs to see he’s pulled down his faded jeans and briefs to reveal his cock hard and ready, his hand stroking along the thick length as precum beads at the shining head.
Desperate hands explore his skin, warm and calloused in all the right spots. The scar along his shoulder from a childhood accident. The freckle on his side right where he’s ticklish. The hair on his forearms you daydream about. From that first night at the bar when he approached you, nervous but friendly, you’ve found it hard to not jump his bones. And now with him between your thighs, on display in the sunlight through the curtained windows, you’re dizzy with attraction.
Lips attach to your chest, smattering spit slicked kisses and soft nips in no particular pattern. Loud moans erupt from you at his attention. Bob smirks against your skin. “Shhh, baby. You need to be quiet. Can you be quiet for me?”
You nod furiously and lust-filled eyes narrow at you. “You sure? Last time you were pretty loud.”
Shit, you had forgotten about last time. Your orgasm out of control as you moaned for him, letting your husband know how well he handled your body. The stars that sparkled before your eyes as ecstatic cries floated to the ceiling. Only to be brought down the next morning when your children worried about scary noises in the night.  The desire in your gut outweighs worry as your hands wind around his shoulders.
“I promise I’ll be quiet. I’ll be a good girl, I promise.” The words are but a whisper, pleading for your Daddy to be merciful to you.
Strong calloused fingers explore between your bodies as he twists open the button of your jeans. Rough fingers skimming soft skin as he slides them down your thighs, dragging the flimsy fabric of your underwear down with them. You do the rest of the work, kicking denim from your body, the telltale thump showing they’ve made their way to the floor.
A satisfied hum vibrates through Bob as he dips his fingers through your folds, arousal coating each digit as he thoroughly inspects. “Mmm, my good girl is all wet for Daddy, isn’t she?”
You nod enthusiastically. His fingers feel incredible, but you want nothing more than the slightly curved cock occupying your thoughts. He tucks a hand under your chin and brings your eyes to his. Loving smiles exchanged before he settles into the task at hand and confirms your desires. “You ready for me, baby?”
Agreement barely passes your lips before he tilts his hips, slowly ramming that thick cock into his favourite place in the world. Allowing you time to adjust while still pushing deeper, knowing you enjoy the stretch. Your bodies rock together in a a rhythm only you know, skin flushed with the shine of sweat. His lips dip into the hollow of your throat as he sinks deeper, sucking and licking like your skin holds all the answers to the world.
Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair as you hold him to you, addicted to the way your bodies fit like a puzzle, perfectly seamless. Your husband, your Daddy, your Bob, custom fit for you. He nips the spot below your jaw and you tug at his hair desperately, ripping a growl from his chest.
“Oh, you want to play that game? Let’s see how you like my game then.”
He pushes up to rest on his haunches, using his strength to handle your body as he desires. Guiding your hips up to meet his raised hips, he spares you one devilish grin before slamming back into you. Sharp thrusts that shake your body, malfunctioning your brain with pleasure. One hand snakes its way to your breast, squeezing the flesh as he rolls his hips harder and deeper into you. You’re so close to the edge that one extra touch and you would surely come undone.
"That's a good girl, tell Daddy how much you like it when I fuck you." 
A hand flies to your mouth as he plucks your hardened nipple between his fingers, delighted in the obscene sounds you emit as he uses your body for both your pleasures. Your other hand finds your clit, sighing as you careen into the beginnings of an orgasm.
Your legs shake around his hips, his thrusts slowing as he focuses on filling you deep. Making you feel as full as possible. His rough thumb swiping over your nipple as he whispers, “Cum for me, sweetheart.”
Your brain turns into white noise as you cum for your Daddy, spasming around him while your fingernails make half-moon indents along his skin. The pent up pleasure escaping through every pore as you hold your moans behind closed lips. Your body collapsing to the cushions as sense returns to your limbs. 
Smiling with half-lidded eyes of lust, Bob leans over you to press a sweet kiss to your lips. His hips still rutting into you as you whisper how good he feels against his lips. Begging him to fill you up. He remembers a day when he could last rounds before giving you his spend. But after a week without your body, your orgasm has triggered his and quickly his thick cum coats every inch inside of you as he whispers his love into your ear.
Shaky, shallow breaths and hushed I love yous are the only sounds as Bob rolls off you, sinking into the pillows as he wraps an arm around you to bring you to his chest. His fingers tap against your shoulder as he steadies his heartbeat. A glance at his watch shows there’s still fifteen minutes alone before little feet interrupt.
“Honey?” 
You hum in acknowledgement and roll your neck to gaze at your handsome husband. He looks every bit post-fuck with his hair at every angle and his glasses still slightly fogged on the edges, his chest glistening with a light sheen of sweat. You can’t resist dragging your fingers through the light trail of blonde hairs between his pecs. He is so handsome. 
He takes the hand resting on your shoulder and shifts you both, facing each other with half-lidded, happy eyes. Legs tangle together and his arm loops around your head to support your neck as he gazes into your eyes. He always has and always will give the best cuddles.
A soft flush reddens his cheeks as he goes through with his question. “Do you think…d’you think we just made another baby?”
Your eyes widen as you take in his question. Quite possibly. You weren’t on the pill, and sex was so infrequent with two toddlers in the house the practice of finding a condom wasn’t commonplace anymore. It hadn’t even crossed your mind to ask him to pull out. 
“We might have.”
He nods slowly and strokes a hand over your hair, deep in thought. 
“Is it bad that I’m kind of hoping we did?” He’s embarrassed to say it out loud.
You smile and press a kiss to the closest skin available. “Not at all. I’m kind of hoping so too…Daddy.”
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deepdarkdelights · 1 year
Text
Perfection | Jin x Reader
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Pairing: Vampire Jin x  Reader 
Word Count: 16k
Series: (6/7) Predator Universe
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Yandere, Obsession, Fear, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Dub-Con, Cunnilingus, Breaking and Entering, Symptoms of Panic/Anxiety, Stalking, Depictions of Gore, Blood, Anger Issues, Dismemberment, MC had a fear of death, MC has agoraphobia, but MC is in therapy (good for her), Jin is kind of an asshole but we love it, kind of pet-playish(?), Jin is basically a sugar daddy tbh 
I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 
Preview: Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you. 
A/N: I have been working on this fic since July and I am so happy that it is finally done and you guys will be able to read it! I really hope the time this took was worth it and that the fic was worth the hype lol. It’s almost one thirty in the morning and I have a quiz so I really should be sleeping. I think this is one of my favorite installments of the series! I hope you enjoy the fic and as always I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and my comments. Ily 💜💜💜
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Kim Seokjin had not only a pretty face but a brilliant mind as well. 
At least, that’s what he told everyone. 
If there was a singular sin that he could fully encompass it would be vanity. And the sin that he shared with nearly everyone in his “family” was that of pride: a deadly and violent mix. That blend was what led to his damnation.
He knew that he deserved only the best and nothing less, that was exactly how he had been raised when he was still human. In the late 1800s, he had been granted the privilege of being born into high-class society as the eldest son, the heir to the Kim legacy. Everything he wanted was directly at his fingertips and at his disposal. From the moment he was born he was guaranteed power, and that was something he wished to never lose. 
As the heir to a luxury wine company, it was only expected that alcohol, parties, and lewd behavior were set to follow him, and he exceeded those expectations. But he was good at keeping business and pleasure as two distinctly separate functions. 
And with the life he lived, it was not often that individuals met his expectations. And by individuals, he meant potential wives. Naturally, it was expected of him to marry and continue the family's legacy. But the gold spoon that he was born with in his mouth tainted the pool. No one was good enough for him and that caused much strife within the family. 
He was well past the age of marrying at twenty-eight years old. He was beginning to feel the pressure his father and mother were putting on his shoulders. And, not to mention, he was well aware that he was aging. Of course, he would never admit that his looks were fading. There was not a crease in his skin or a gray hair to be plucked, but he could feel it. He could see the minute imperfections that no one else could. It made his skin crawl in disgust. 
And then Kim Namjoon entered the frame and everything began to come together. 
His mother had insisted on organizing yet another party to find him a wife under the guise that he was there to make several important business deals. But when the vast majority of partygoers were young women with stars in their eyes he knew what was really going on. And of course, he was not going to stick around and socialize with subpar candidates. If he were going to do that it would be restricted to his bedroom, of course. 
Namjoon had come to that party that night, Yoongi in tow despite his protests. Namjoon was a cultured man, he liked to mingle with the members of high society from time to time. It helped him learn what was appropriate for the decade as trends (in manners, clothing, and amusement) came and went rapidly. And those who belonged to the upper class were those who set those trends. It was strategic and it helped his kind blend in as seamlessly as possible. 
And Jin was the epitome of a high-class man. 
And so, Namjoon and Yoongi befriended him. It hadn’t been hard for them, they had been around for so long that they fit right in. And Jin had merely thought he found more of the few people that could meet his high expectations - his small inner circle growing with two new additions. But of course, that friendship had started out with the purpose of using Jin for what he had. 
So in turn, he used them. 
While Jin had a pretty face, he actually was quite smart and observant. He took note of his companions' odd behavior. He never saw them during the daytime, only in the veil of the night. They had the oddest colored eyes - not quite black but a deep shade of burgundy like the embers of a smoldering fire laid within their depths. And they were cold, absolutely frigid to the touch like a corpse. It didn’t take him very long to piece together what they were, and it was only proven true when he caught the both of them feasting on lifeless corpses in his guest room. He timed everything just perfectly to discover their true nature. 
Yoongi had seemed genuinely surprised, bloody lips parted in shock as he stood as still as a statue, the limp body still collapsed in his iron grasp. 
Namjoon, on the other hand, was smiling. He too was not able to conceal his nature any longer but he wasn’t trying either. He took his time and continued to finish his meal despite the obvious living human presence in the room. 
“You two have been holding out on me,” Jin said with a disappointed tone. 
“Holding out?” Namjoon echoed before relaxing his arms and allowing the corpse to slip down to the floor, the thinnest drizzle of blood pooling onto the parquet flooring. 
Yoongi could only stare at the both of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two other men. 
“Yes, holding out! You are immortal are you not?”
“Yes, we are, and I’m sure you’ve figured out the rest by now haven’t you?” 
“You may have been able to fool all of those other halfwits but it was painfully obvious to me, of course.”
“Of course.” Namjoon nodded while trying to suppress an amused grin. 
“I want in, I wish to join you and your kind.” 
“No,” Yoongi immediately cut in, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, this is a curse it is not something to take lightly and flirt with the notion of.” 
His tone was harsh, his face stern but there was evident pain behind his eyes. Yoongi had been forced into this life if that was what you could even call it. He couldn’t fathom someone willingly agreeing to eternal damnation and he would try his hardest to convince them otherwise. 
“Are you denying me?” Jin asked, his face contorted in utter disbelief. He was never denied anything in his twenty-eight years of life and the feeling of rejection was infuriating. 
“Yoongi, it’s his decision,” Namjoon interjected, his hand wiping the blood from his mouth leaving a streaky crimson trail behind. 
“You’re not actually considering this, are you?” Yoongi hissed.
“What is there to consider? He’s already seen us and he knows what he wants.”
“He has no idea what he wants!” 
“And why are you speaking for me? Just because you’re miserable and dissatisfied does not mean the same will be said for me!” Jin spat. “I grow tired of this human body. Every second of every day I feel myself wasting away and there is not a thing I can do about it.”
“You would throw away your humanity, your life, all in the name of vanity?” Yoongi asked in disbelief. 
“And for greed as well,” Jin laughed, “Believe me, I am many things and one of them is self-aware. I am a selfish bastard and I am perfectly fine with that. I won’t allow my looks to fade and my fortune will grow as centuries pass. This is what I desire and I refuse to concede.”
He was a businessman in every aspect. 
“It sounds like he’s made his choice, Yoongi.” Namjoon finally spoke.
“It sounds like he’s made an ignorant choice and I refuse to have any part in this,” Yoongi said, storming past the two of them and slamming the door shut with enough force that the mahogany wood cracked by the handle. 
“So, are we going to fuck about or will you give me what I want?” Jin asked, his impatience growing. 
“I consider you a good friend, Jin. I won't lie, I am pleased that you are asking this of me.” Namjoon smiled before grabbing Jin’s shoulder, “We’re all lonely children looking for a place where we belong.” 
Lonely children, that was one way to put it. Namjoon was not entirely wrong. In a world where you deserved only the best, many fell short and in the end, you were painfully alone, whether you were willing to admit it or not. 
“Before we go through with this, there are some things you should know.”
“What things?”
“You can’t go in the sun, not just yet, you’ll be far too young and far too sensitive to light. Quiet, dark, scentless places are going to be the best place to stay - your senses are going to be heightened tenfold. You must feed often in the early years, you’re going to be very hungry, bloodthirsty really so you need to stay away from large crowds of people.” 
Jin was silent for a moment, his eyes shifting from left to right and back again as he processed everything he was told. He could manage, and he could figure out how to do all of those things while maintaining his position as an heir. 
“Lastly, do not try and do this alone. In our world, there is strength in numbers as well as safety. You’ll have to stay with me and Yoongi, we will all be bound to one another as creator and creation.”
“So when you two leave…”
“You will follow.” Namjoon nodded, “We try to stay in one place for as long as we can so if it’s your family you’re worried about you’ll have plenty of time to figure something out.” 
But they weren’t coming with him. As terrible as it was, that wasn’t a great enough reason to sway his decision. He still wanted what he desired and he was willing to let his family go. So he stuck out his hand, ready to shake on the agreement. 
“I accept the conditions.” 
~~~~~~~
Most people were afraid of spiders, some of heights, and many feared drowning. But you feared something a bit more abstract and with a bit more finality. You were afraid of aging and by association, you were incredibly afraid of death. 
And that fear often leads you to do a few things. One of them was to start skincare at an absurdly young age. The other was to hermit yourself inside of your house out of fear of some horrific accident befalling you. And the other was to seek out strange and obscure places to visit before you die. It was odd that the last two coincide but they do. 
There were days when you were so frightened that you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the comfort of your bed. And then you had days where you felt daring, if you were going to die one day would you really want to have lived your only life trapped inside of your own house? There were your good days and your bad days and they came and went like the tides.
Today was a “good” day. And by good day that meant you were on your laptop scrolling through forums trying to find a new place to visit. Living in a small town was hard, you knew everyone and every place because they were so few in number. But sometimes there were locations in between towns, or hidden spots in your own. Briar Hills is an old town, a historical town even. It’s not uncommon for places to be abandoned, concrete skeletons collapsing and being devoured by the flora.
It was finding them, buried in hundreds of posts, that was difficult. The teenagers in the town had taken to reclaiming those places, turning them into party spots in the blink of an eye. But that has changed in the past few months. Ever since the first body turned up. 
That was the thing about small towns, murder was much rarer than the action that cities see. So, when dozens of corpses begin to show up in streams and lakes and people begin to go missing without a trace - panic ensues. As well as a town-wide curfew. 
Briar Hills turned into a ghost town after dark. The streets would be empty, lit by a few lampposts spread down the street that was easily consumed by a thick, hazy fog. Every now and then the fog would be broken by police lights, red and blue shocks of color dispersing the mist as the night patrol came around the block. It looked like something out of a horror movie. 
And, if it weren’t a good day, the sight alone would be enough to keep you corralled in your room. But it was a good day and you had become stir-crazy from staying in your house for the past few weeks.
After endless scrolling there was one post in particular that caught your attention. It looked like an extravagant invitation with a satin black background and deep red embellishments. It had very little interaction and it was written in a completely different language. For something as obscure as an abandoned place in a small town you weren’t surprised that it had gone unnoticed, especially considering few people checked this forum. 
Putting the text into google translate had not been insanely helpful. The translated text was jumbled and made little sense, it was one of those languages that did not thrive when it came to longer translations. But you were interested and fairly stubborn and after extended research and decoding fragmented sentences you were left with this:
“The best bite I’ve ever had,” And following that was a set of coordinates that had been written out instead of just using their numerical counterparts. 
You were interested. 
What could that mean? Maybe it was some hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but why all the decorum? Why the translations? Who even uses coordinates anymore? The best way to get the answers you desired was to discover them for yourself. 
That’s how you ended up sneaking out of your house, dressed head to toe in dark colors, like some teenager that’s about to disappoint their parents. Except, in this case, your parents were the cops, and being grounded would equate to being detained for violating the town-wide curfew. All the more reason to not get caught. 
You started to get cold feet when you realized where the set of coordinates was leading you, your body came to a fast stop when the toes of your boots met the edge of the forest. The forest, at night, with low visibility, and predators prowling was a bad move. That just screamed a sudden and violent death, not to mention the bulk of missing persons' corpses had been found within its depths. This was a stupid idea, a bad move, but it was a good day and you were too stubborn to follow reason. You would make up for it tomorrow by hiding in your bed all day. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a coping mechanism nonetheless. 
You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and took a step forward. There was no going back now, you had made up your mind.
The further into the forest you trekked the quieter it became. It didn’t make sense. You were getting further from society so why was it so quiet? The wind was still, not a branch or leaf trembled, and not even a cricket dared to chirp. It was like every living creature had up and left, abandoning their home. The only sound that filled the static silence was the bubbling rush of water from the river. 
You began to walk faster, your nerves urging you to get where you were going and be done with it. On top of that, your eyes were starting to play tricks on you, your brain attempting to make sense of the dark and fill in what was missing resulting in ominous shadows shifting through the trees. You were regretting your decision immensely, so you picked up the pace and began humming to yourself to fill the silence. 
If you were being honest, you really had no idea what you were supposed to be looking for. The post hadn’t listed much of anything and you weren’t sure what would be at the end of the coordinates. But, the red light glowing in the distance was a sure sign of something. It grew more intense as you neared it, the light getting stronger the closer to the ground it was. When you finally pushed through the underbrush you were met with a set of concrete stairs leading down into the ground and at the very bottom was an old metal door with a faintly pulsing red light above it. Looking down at your phone you were able to verify that you had made it to where the coordinates were marked. 
It was a bomb shelter. It was most likely one for the community back in the forties, an evacuation and safe point for those who didn’t have their own. It must have been abandoned and forgotten about after the war, left to rot there for the past eighty years. But if that light was anything to go by, it must have been reclaimed by someone. 
You carefully stepped down the stairs, applying a little weight at a time to make sure that the concrete hadn’t eroded and wouldn’t crumble beneath you. When you reached the bottom you tried the door and to your surprise, it opened with a creak. There was a long tunnel just barely lit by candles lining the walls leaving deep shadows in between them. And now you could feel the walls thumping, steadily vibrating with a muffled bass. That meant there was another chamber somewhere. 
You hesitantly traveled down the tunnel, long stretches of the floor would eventually give way to more stairs leading you deeper and deeper underground. This was a claustrophobe's worst nightmare. The more you walked the harder the walls vibrated until you finally came upon another door where the sounds became the loudest. Above the door hung a purple neon sign that read: “Blood Sugar.” 
Upon testing the door handle, you were surprised to find that it was unlocked, and once it slowly swung open your nose was assaulted with the scent of alcohol, sweat, and a coppery odor. You swiftly entered and closed the door behind you, trying your best not to bring too much attention to yourself. But it appears you would have no trouble doing so. 
The room you had stepped into was massive, the walls were tall and rounded out at the ceiling and were made completely out of metal. But it was far from a barren, abandoned bunker. The room was packed with people, some dancing, some drinking, and others wrapped around one another on the various red velvet chaises spread around the space. The music was loud and the room was lit by antique chandeliers as well as deep purple lighting casting an ominous glow over everyone. 
The bunker had been converted into a club of some sort and despite the decrepit tunnels you had slunk through to get here, it was surprisingly luxurious. You were honestly surprised the entire town hadn’t known about this place. That much was certainly true because, despite the large crowd, you could only recognize about five people you had seen before. The massive gathering was largely that of people that were not from Briar Hills. 
A set of delicate hands slithered around your waist, tugging you sharply towards the stranger behind you. A shout of surprise parted your lips as you turned around, slapping the offending limbs off of you. 
There was a tall woman facing you with a grin on her face, her bright white teeth glinting from behind her deep red lips. Her skin was so pale it was glowing with a purple hue from the lights, her long black curls creating an even sharper contrast against her skin. And you couldn’t explain why you felt the way you did, but the sight of those bright white teeth had your stomach twisting in knots. Despite her delicate appearance, every red flag was being raised in your body. The urge to run was strong. 
“Hello, sweetheart,” She crooned, “You’re new, aren’t you?” 
Something in the back of your mind demanded you lie. 
“No, I’m not. If you’ll excuse me,” You said, your voice steady and cold despite the goosebumps on the back of your neck and the rapid thump of your pulse. 
As you went to walk past her she easily stopped you with a hand on your shoulder, her face suddenly incredibly close as she pressed her nose to your hairline and took a deep breath. “Oh, you can’t lie to me, I remember every sweet little snack that comes in here.” 
What. The. Fuck.
“Look, I’m not interested in…whatever that means,” You huffed, taking a few steps back and breaking free from her steel grasp, “I’m just here for a drink.”
“Oh?” She hummed, “So am I, I’m glad we can cut to the chase.” 
“Okay?” You slowly asked before shuffling around her imposing figure, “See ya.” 
You slipped into the crowd, forcing your way through the bodies in an attempt to shake her off of your trail. Anybody else in your position would have lingered for the ethereal woman, but you couldn’t ignore that feeling in the back of your mind or that tug deep in your gut. She was dangerous, and no pretty smile or sweet words could hide it. It was in times like these that your intense fear of death became present as paranoia, warning you of all potential threats.
When you started therapy you were encouraged to slowly step out of your comfort zone, to do things that would combat your anxieties. So, on good days, you try your best to succeed with these short-term goals hoping in the long run you could live normally like every other person your age. But you often found your anxiety creeping up on you and you knew after tonight you would need the rest of the week to recover and that meant avoidance which meant hiding out in your rented duplex. 
But for now, you had to cope. 
When you broke free from the crowd you stumbled forward, a stray limb jabbing you in the back and sending you reeling onto one of the velvet chaises. To your utter embarrassment, you landed right next to a couple that had left all of their inhibitions at the door like many other patrons of the underground club. The woman was straddling the man's thighs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of her neck, her long locks obscuring his face. Although you couldn’t see what he was doing it didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was as the woman’s mouth opened to let out soft moans of pleasure. 
Heat rushed up to your face as you stumbled off of the chaise and backed up from the voyeuristic lovers. Of course, you weren't innocent, but seeing something like that in person was different from shamelessly reading smut at three AM. 
A few feet away from the couple was the bar. It was surprisingly empty for a club. The man you assumed to be the bartender behind the countertop was relaxing against it, his dark eyes scanning your awkward posture. 
You swiftly approached the bar and yelled over the music, “Hi, how much is water?”
He gave you an amused chuckle before grabbing a small leather menu and sliding it over to you, “We don’t serve that here, sweetheart.” 
You stared at him in confusion before flipping open the menu. The only thing listed there were various wines all costing an exorbitant amount of money, and by that, you meant at least three months' rent and that was just for a glass, not even the bottle. 
“These prices are insane, are you kidding me?!” 
“They’re from 1889, newbie.” He smiled, a grin identical to the woman from earlier. 
“Well, this was a bust.” You groaned, the initial buzz of excitement from finding a town secret had long since faded. 
“Can I offer you some advice?” 
“Be my guest.”
“You might want to pay more attention to your surroundings, you’ve had eyes on you since you stepped foot in this place.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you. 
“If I were you, I would get out of here. Things get crazy with fresh blood, ya know? The people here are like sharks in the water.” The bartender said, regaining your attention. “Uh oh, looks like you got one on your trail.” 
You followed his and the pretty stranger’s gaze behind you. It was her again, the woman from earlier. She was slipping through the ocean of moving bodies with ease, her gait like that of a jaguar on the prowl as she approached. You watched as her polished fingers wiped away what looked like stray lipstick from beneath her lips. 
Without thinking you darted away from the bar and past the pretty man, rushing through the first door you found which turned out to be the bathroom. Once the door fell shut you felt like you could relax for a moment. The music was muffled allowing you to think coherently for the first time since you had entered the bunker. Everything had become far too stimulating and you could feel your anxiety rising. 
You leaned against the sink, turning the water on ice cold before splashing your face so that you could shock yourself back into clarity. You allowed yourself to brace the sink and relax your body, focusing on your breathing and grounding yourself before you lost control, just the way you were taught to. 
The feeling of ice-cold fingers on your shoulders threw all of your work away. 
You yelped and flinched, your eyes flying open to see her standing behind you in the reflection of the mirror. 
“I knew you were a shy little thing, you should have just told me you wanted to do this privately.” She sighed with a sickeningly sweet smile. 
In a moment of flight, fight, or freeze your body chose for you, your legs running without you telling them to do so. You didn’t make it far, not before she grabbed hold of you and threw you up against the wall. Your head hit the tile behind you so hard you saw stars. 
“I’ve been hunting you down all night, you’ve made me build up quite the appetite. Do you know how many others I’ve had to threaten to get to you? Everyone always wants to take someone’s first bite.” 
What the fuck was she talking about? 
“While it was cute at first, we've played this game for long enough, don’t you think?”
“Let go of me!” You yelled while grabbing her wrists and trying to pry her hands off of you. To your complete and utter shock, she didn’t move an inch, it was like her bones were made of iron - immovable and inflexible. 
“Now, now, don’t go throwing a tantrum that won’t get you anywhere.” She sighed, sliding her hand up your shoulder to wrap around your throat and squeeze. 
Your throat and lungs burned as her grip slowly increased its pressure, your eyes watering as broken gasps and chokes for air gurgled past your lips. 
“There there, much better.” She whispered into your ear as she released your throat, your body going limp as you gasped for air. 
She easily gathered you up into her arms and softly tilted your head to the side, her perfectly polished nails grazing over the stretch of skin as she hummed before pressing her cherry-red lips to your throat. 
“Don’t worry, you’ll feel a slight pinch.” She joked before her jaw widened and a demonic hiss left her throat as her teeth grazed the soft flesh of your vulnerable neck. 
But before she could sink her teeth in she was harshly ripped away from you, her perfect face slammed so hard into the bathroom wall that the tiles shattered upon impact. A loud cry of pain echoed throughout the room as she pulled herself from the wall, black blood was pouring from her crooked nose and her sliced lips. 
Behind her stood the stranger from before, a miffed and frankly disgusted expression marred his stunning features. 
“What the fuck, Jin?!” She screamed, cupping her injured face. 
“She’s not a fang banger, Junghee.”
Her once flawless features froze in shock as a look of horror crawled over her face. It was the look of someone who realized that they had made a horrible mistake. 
“You’ve really fucked up this time.” He growled in irritation, a genuine growl that had your skin crawling. 
“Well, how was I supposed to know?! What is she even doing here?!”
“That’s none of your concern anymore, get the fuck out!” He yelled, ripping the bathroom door open and throwing her out of the room. 
You stayed pressed up against the wall out of pure terror. Vampires, you had walked into a fucking nest of vampires and had the closest brush with death you’ve ever had in your entire life. Your gaze remained locked on the vampire, Jin, as he calmed down; the waves of his rage slowly dissipating. In this lighting, you could finally see what you hadn’t been able to before in the dim club. Under the fluorescent lights, his eyes gleamed a vibrant, intimidating red. 
You winced in fright as he took a step in your direction, your body attempting to meld into the wall behind you. Jin raised his eyebrow in questioning, taken aback by your apprehension. It wasn’t often he had humans cowering in fear, usually, they shook from…something else. 
“Enough of that, come along human.” He snapped, grabbing you by your sleeve and easily dragging you from the room despite your protests and your heels digging into the ground. He was pulling you as if you weighed nothing. 
“Let go!” You shrieked in terror, struggling against his hold with all of your might. 
He came to a sudden halt, gripping you by your shoulder and pulling your body so close that there was barely an inch of space left between his chest and your own. 
“Don’t you think you’ve drawn enough attention to yourself tonight?” 
You peered over your shoulder, and sure enough, there were several of his kind watching the two of you from the dance floor. Their stares were curious and hungry. Unconsciously you shifted closer to him, choosing the lesser of two evils, one vampire versus many. 
“Look at that you’re smart, for a human.” He snickered before guiding you back to the curtained area you had seen him sitting in before Junghee had cornered you in the bathroom. 
“Sit, stay.” He said with a smirk as he pressed you down by your shoulder onto one of the couches before gesturing for someone to close the thick curtains. 
“Look, I just want to go home. I won’t breathe a word about what happened here or what this place is, it was a mistake coming here.” 
“A mistake indeed, but a mistake that needs correcting nonetheless,” Jin said with a distressed roll of his (impressive) shoulders. “So, tell me human, how did you find this place?” 
You sat there in silence for a moment, your face the perfect image of confusion, “Are you being serious right now?”
“I don’t recall telling a joke.”
“You - there was a post online, on a forum? Anyone could have found it if they were looking close enough, it really wasn’t that hard to find. All I had to do was translate the text and it told me where to go.”
“A…forum?” He repeated, clearly confused. 
Dear God, he was an old-ass vampire who didn't know much about technology or even the internet. He didn’t even know he had advertised the place. He was just an old man in a young man’s body. 
“You know, a forum, it’s online, it's where people who want to discuss a certain topic go to. I was looking for obscure places, abandoned buildings, and lesser-known spots in town. I found the posting for this place and it just said ‘The best bite I’ve ever had’...I didn’t know it meant literally.” You said, your nerves leading you to ramble on and on. 
Jin’s eyes pressed shut, his face contorting in anger as a hiss parted his lips, “Jimin.”
Jimin and himself were the only two vampires in their coven that knew about the club Jin hosted. Jin had been careless one night and Jimin had followed him, discovering the secret he had kept well hidden. Jin bought Jimin’s silence initially with limited access to the place, but now he was regretting every interaction he had had with the short vampire.
One of the few times Jin had found himself getting on with said vampire had led him to express his annoyance with the lack of human stock for the club. In turn, Jimin had offered to help “advertise” in exchange for unrestricted access to the club. 
Now that he had figured out how the little human had snuck her way in, he had to decide what to do with her. He could always kill her, that would be the simple answer. He could drain her dry and snap her pretty neck in an instant. But that wasn’t really his style, he typically preferred to savor his meals unlike his gorger of a “brother”, Jungkook. 
Perhaps the human could serve a purpose for him. 
“Come, human.” He beckoned with his fingers.
You remained frozen in your seat, your body still in active survival mode keeping your joints locked. 
Jin sighed, clearly miffed by your disobedience. He rose from his own seat only to cross the room and sit next to you. His long fingers gripped your chin and jerked your head up, forcing you to look at him. His hold was ice cold, the chill from his touch steadily seeping into your jaw. You felt paralyzed by his intimidating crimson gaze. His eyes flicked quickly over your features as he turned your head from side to side, taking in your every pore. 
“Not bad, for a human. Don’t feel too offended, it’s difficult to look as flawless as myself.” He said with a casual tone as if he were merely stating a fact. 
“You look pretty average to me,” You blurted out the lie, your lips moving before your brain could stop you from verbalizing. 
It was so fast you almost couldn't see it but it was there, his left eye twitched and his grip tightened forcing a slight whine of pain from you. He roughly jerked your head to the side, choosing to ignore what you said despite how much it clearly bothered him. Instead, he trained his focus on your neck, pulling the collar of your shirt down past your collarbone.
“Smooth,” He observed, his icy touch skipping over the skin of your throat, “Junghee didn’t sink her dirty fangs in you after all, that’s good.” 
Without warning he leaned down, his nose skimming over your neck as he breathed in, flooding himself with your scent. His grip tightened as you yelped and tried to jerk away from him in fear that this time you would surely die at the hands of a mythical creature, a monster in the flesh. 
You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt his plump lips brush your throat, his cool breath fanning over the skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. His actions were reminiscent of a wine connoisseur, the way they studied the body of the wine and the aroma. He was assessing you - attempting to decide if you would make a good meal, that you were certain of. 
You jerked as you felt him bury his face further into your neck. You could feel the slight flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as a groan parted his lips. 
“Well, don’t you smell delicious?” He crooned, his tongue swiping over his lips and just barely ghosting over your throat. “I think that we can come to an agreement, does that sound nice?” 
“What,” You paused to clear your throat, “what did you have in mind?” 
“I’m glad you asked,” He said with a wink after pulling back from you, “You see, I think we could mutually benefit from one another’s company. While breaking your pretty little neck would certainly be the easiest way out of this problem, I do find you quite amusing, pet.”
Your body grew stiff as your mind conjured up the image of his strong hands severing your vertebrate in one smooth pull, your body falling limp and lifeless on the club’s floor. Your greatest fear was death and Jin was death incarnate. He could very easily take your life if he so desired and he was making that very clear. He cared not whether you lived or died but only if your presence benefitted him in some manner. Your life was inconsequential. 
“Very few people meet my standards but you are very lucky, I have a rather refined palette and it just so happens you meet said standards. So, I would like to propose a business arrangement. You will be my sole donor and keep those pretty lips sealed about everything you have witnessed tonight and in turn, you get to keep your life.”
“And if I don’t agree?” You dared to ask. 
A sneer marred his perfect face, his fingers gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him in his blood-red eyes. 
“Then your pathetic human life ends right here, right now.” He said, his hand slipping down your jaw to loosely wrap around your throat. He could feel your pulse steadily thumping against his hand causing his mouth to involuntarily pool with saliva, hunger twisting in his gut. 
Your breath hitched, fear slicing down your spine like a violent chill. You knew you only had one choice, and that was to appease the monster that sat beside you because he was far less frightening than the unknown, than the certain embrace of death that waited at every corner. 
When fear rules your life, you have no choice. There is only ever one option. 
“I agree,” Your voice trembled as you swallowed uncomfortably under his grasp. “I’ll be your donor.” 
“Splendid.” He said with a grin, his canines glinting under the light. 
“Can I…can I please go home now?” You asked, clasping your trembling hands together to try and still their shaking. 
“No, there are a few more fine details we have to iron out,” He said, his index finger lightly tapping your chin, “Firstly, I expect you to maintain a healthy lifestyle and that means no alcohol within a twenty-four hour period before we meet and certainly no smoking it’s a dirty and disgusting habit.”
You nodded slowly, trying your best to avoid looking into his piercing red gaze. 
“Try your best to have a healthy diet as well, the junk you humans gorge yourselves on taints your flavor, it’s unbearably sweet.” He said with a wrinkle of his nose in disgust. “I will compensate you for your efforts and your donations, once I’ve deemed you satisfactory, of course,” 
“I think that about covers it. And when I call upon you I expect your presence. Do we understand one another?” He asked with a tilt of his head. 
Your throat was far too tight, your eyes burning with unshed tears as you weakly nodded in agreement. 
“Very good,” He hummed before leaning back into the couch and soundly tapping the top of his thigh, “come, pet.” 
You sat still, your body frozen in shock as you were unsure if you had heard him correctly. 
“Well?” He raised his eyebrow expectantly. 
“I…I don’t think that, um-”
“Are you going to keep babbling and test my patience, or are you going to be a good little pet and do as I say?” He interjected and immediately you remembered the phantom feeling of his hand on your throat, the light grip that screamed threat. 
You awkwardly shuffled on your knees across the couch and hesitantly settled your legs on either side of him, hovering so that your weight did not rest on his lap. In response, he firmly gripped your hips and harshly pulled you down onto him, pressing you directly against him in a way that sent heat rushing beneath your skin despite the evident chill that emanated from his body. 
You could see his fangs even clearer now. They had become longer than before, the sharpened points dragging along the flushed skin of his plump lower lip. You were terrified by the thought of them piercing your thin flesh. What if they punctured your jugular and you bled out to death? What if he had just been playing with his food this entire time, instilling a false hope of survival in you just to watch with murderous glee as you realized you were meant to die the entire time as he drained the life out of you? 
And then what? The void of inevitable nothingness? The abyss of the afterlife? You were spiraling now, you could feel it in the way your chest constricted and your breaths came out in panicked, short huffs. 
A soft, wet, stroke against your throat pulled you from your frightening thoughts. As your vision cleared you realized that he had settled back into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his tongue gently and steadily lapping at your skin. Despite your embarrassment, you could feel your body slowly relaxing and melting against him. It felt like you were being shot up with a tranquilizer, your muscles going weak from his ministrations as the skin of your neck went numb.  
And within seconds his fangs were sinking through your flesh, easy and smooth. You jolted in response, a cry of pain leaving you as your fingers curled into the silk of his shirt while your body subconsciously leaned away, trying to escape the sudden painful stimulus. 
In response, you could feel Jin’s arms tighten around your back and harshly pull you flat against his chest with an animalistic growl, one that immediately paralyzed you with fear. 
The vampire beneath you was enraptured, completely lost in the feeding frenzy as rivers of blood flowed freely past his plump lips and poured down his throat. Your scent had been seductive, but your taste? It was better than any wine, better than ambrosia and nectar, it was addictive. So addictive he was unsure if he would be able to stop but at the same time aware he could not kill you because the rest of his immortal existence would be utter hell if he were unable to get another hit. 
Kim Seokjin had a refined palette and high standards and few people met his expectations. But you? You were complete and utter perfection. And he deserved perfection. 
His grip was too hard, unrelenting, crushing you against him. You wouldn’t be surprised if he cracked your spine by accident. It was like he was afraid to release you, afraid that there was a chance you would be able to escape him, the apex predator. 
But these thoughts were all uselessly whimpered in the back of your mind because the rest of your brain was completely flooded with euphoria. You had never felt so warm and tingly despite his cool hands in your entire life. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, the only thing keeping you grounded in existence was his tight hold. And there were other feelings as well, feelings you would have been ashamed of had your inhibitions not completely disappeared. Feelings that had your thighs clenching on either side of his waist, your heart beating pathetically fast, your pupils dilating, and your limp body helplessly rocking against him with his hands guiding and encouraging you. 
This was completely out of character for you. You didn’t climb into random men's laps and writhe against them eagerly like you were in heat. That had never been who you were, but the position you were in now clearly said otherwise. 
You were growing lightheaded, not only from arousal and euphoria but from blood loss as well. You weakly pushed at his chest, your innate desire to survive prevailing over the pleasure that had relaxed your muscles. 
“Jin, please,” You whimpered, struggling to speak. 
The vampire didn’t respond or relent, his arms still wrapped around you like a vice. In desperation you wound your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling into his hair and tugging at the roots. The pull certainly took him off guard, his fangs sliding free from your throat and his perfect lips parting to release a startled moan. 
His eyes were half-lidded but his red irises still burned brightly under the dim lighting, a perfect match for the blood that stained his lips and chin. He said nothing at that moment and from what very little you knew about him you could conclude that it was not often that he was at a loss for words. 
Warmth trickled down your neck, rivulets of blood still flowing freely now without him there to catch them and that seemed to snap him back to attention. He slowly leaned forward, maintaining eye contact with you until he was level with your throat once more, his tongue darting out to lick up the trails of blood before tracing over the puncture wounds he had left behind. 
Your hold on his shoulders did nothing to dissuade him, in fact, he quite enjoyed your weak attempts to keep him at an arm's length. Humans were so fragile, so weak, and he enjoyed that.  
“Relax,” He breathed, “We have a deal, remember? It would be a waste to drain you dry in one night.”
“And how do I know you don’t just like to play with your food?” You asked. 
“You don’t. You’ll just have to take my word for it, pet.” He smirked, tapping your chin with his finger. 
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“Let’s just say your sample was more than satisfactory, I have no reason to take back my word just yet.”
Yet. And yet, he was actually letting you go. 
“I’ll see to it that you make it home safely,” He began. But before he could finish speaking you were eagerly sliding off of his lap. 
His hands caught your waist easily, one holding you steady and the other firmly grasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger forcing you to look him in his eyes. 
“Remember, I call, you answer. As long as you abide by my rules we won’t have a problem.”
You nodded quickly, his words barely registering in your brain as your body took control. You would agree to anything that would keep you alive.
“Don’t disappoint me.” 
~~~~~~
Days had passed since that night at Blood Sugar, days where Jin had not tried to contact you, days that you spent isolated in your house - a wave of agoraphobia so strong that the thought of passing a threshold frightened you to the bone which was beyond ironic considering your situation. But those days also led to you trying to convince yourself it had all been a bad dream. 
If the encounter at Blood Sugar had in fact been real, you had little to show for it. The skin of your throat was smooth and untouched despite the fangs that you were certain had torn through it like paper. The only parting gift you had was the urge to sleep for days, a splitting headache, and a touch of soreness around your ribs where you were sure his arms had once restrained you. 
Pretending it hadn’t happened was easier on your mind. Your whole world had been turned upside down and the monsters you once thought to be the stuff of stories had been pulled from the shadows and abruptly thrust into the light. It was easier to pretend it was a dream. But you couldn’t shake those blood-red eyes from your memories nor the show of pure strength that had been demonstrated against Junghee - her once perfect face that was so easily disfigured by the elder vampire. 
You were afraid of death and the realization that it actually lurked at every eerie corner and you had sat in its lap like a contented house cat was enough to fry the connections in your brain. 
And you could only pretend for so long. You could only ignore reality for so long. 
It had been three weeks since you had seen him when he finally confirmed his existence in the form of a simple text. 
“Hungry, you know where to find me.” 
And that made your blood run cold. It was time to finally face reality, you had actually made a deal with a vampire and now he was cashing in on your promise. It was donate or die. 
And in an absolute panic, you made a terrible decision. You placed your phone face down and retreated beneath your blankets like a small child hiding from the boogeyman. 
Your phone did not cease to remind you that you had made a bad decision. The messages started sporadically - spread out throughout the hour. But Jin’s impatience grew as did the texts and calls. The eerie silence of your bedroom filled with a continuous buzzing as your phone continued to vibrate until you couldn’t take it anymore and without looking at a single message you shut down your phone. But that only brought temporary relief. 
You were begrudgingly pulled from the safety of your bed that day for an inspection your landlord had scheduled two days prior. There was no getting out of it and in your mind, it was a welcome distraction from the spiraling anxiety you felt when you thought about your powered-down phone. 
You had no way of knowing that their presence would only worsen the problem that you had created. 
You were generally a quiet person that kept to yourself around strangers, especially strangers that had a say in whether you continued living in your home or not. You practically stuck yourself to the walls as she inspected your home, and while your landlord was not necessarily a mean woman she wasn’t very chatty. You two got along in those regards. 
You were able to breathe when she gave you an awkward, tight-lipped smile, waved, and closed the door behind her. 
As soon as she was gone you rushed back into your bedroom and just barely pulled your curtains aside to peer out your window and watch her retreat. But when you did look out that window you felt your blood run cold. She was still there, standing on the walkway, and directly in front of her was him. It was twilight out, the sun still desperately trying to cling to a purple and ochre colored sky. It was safe for him to be out. He was giving her a charming smile, one that anyone would fall over at the sight of. You could see him laugh and then say a few words but you were too far away to make out what they were. And then to your utmost horror, she walked away and he made his way up the front steps. 
You were frozen, your muscles tense, and refused to move. You held your breath as you listened. There was no way that he could get in, you hadn’t given him permission. But all of your hope washed out of you when you heard the front door’s knob turn and the soft click of it leaving the frame. There were a few light steps and then the door shut once more. 
He was inside the house. 
You felt absolutely helpless as all you could do was wait for him to find you. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, you were cornered. 
It was only a matter of seconds before he did find you, a stern and angry expression clear on his face as he rounded the banister and the stairs and stood right outside the door frame of your room. His eyes were different now, they weren’t the vibrant red that you remembered. They were a deep burgundy now, almost black as they stared back at you with intensity. You couldn’t even make out the difference between his pupils and his irises. It was a bottomless, dark gaze. 
“How did you get in?” You asked, the words rushing out of you to your own surprise. 
One of his dark brows quirked, whether it was in surprise or irritation you did not know. 
“Elaine let me in,” He said with a stomach-turning grin. 
Your landlord. She technically owned the house, she could let him in even if you didn’t invite him. 
“I thought I made myself clear when we spoke, did I not?” He asked rhetorically, “I call, you answer, I feed, you keep your life. What part of that did your little human brain not comprehend?” 
“You called me?”
“Don’t play dumb with me.”
“My phone died-”
“Don’t make me repeat myself!” He snapped, his voice shockingly loud and incomposed. 
You flinched back against the wall as he finally entered your room only to stop dead in his tracks not more than five feet away. His eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and his fangs descended on instinct. 
The two of you stood there, both staring at each other and refusing to move, waiting for the other to act first. 
Jin was the one to break the stalemate. 
“You’re on your period.” 
Your eyes widened in embarrassment, warmth radiating beneath your skin in response. He could smell it, that was the only explanation and that was a mortifying thought that had you pressing your thighs together, tight and closed. 
He looked shaken, frazzled, and incredibly unlike himself. His rage was forgotten, his hunger controlling him. He was gripping the footboard of your bed, the skin of his knuckles stretched taut as he held onto it like he was keeping himself grounded. 
“I want a taste,” He said, staring you down without a single blink. 
It took you a moment to comprehend what he had just said, and as soon as you connected the dots you were anchoring yourself to the wall and vehemently shaking your head. 
“No, no way!” 
“Yes,”
“No! That’s messy and gross and I never agreed to do anything like that with you!
“I’m hungry,” He hissed, “And you expect me to just leave when you smell like fucking heaven?”
“Yes, because everything about this is crazy! I don’t know you, I never wanted to find you and now I’m stuck with you until you ultimately decide to kill me so I’m sorry that you’re hungry but it’s not even my problem in the first place!” 
That was the one upside to being on your period, the influx of hormones allowed you to become confrontational. 
“I’ll pay you double for a feed directly from the source,” He said with gritted teeth. 
Jin was never one to bargain, usually he would leave a deal with far more than the other party. But this was something he refused to pass up. Vampires, very often, had little to no inhibitions especially when it came to sex. Sex was often a co-occurrence with feeding, and menstruation was the epitome of that. He didn’t expect a pathetic little human like you to understand. You were fettered by mortal concepts that had forced you to believe you were to be a social pariah during that time, that it was “gross,” as you had said. Little did you know you were considered a delicacy in his world, ripe for the taking. And he knew how delicious you were when he fed from the vein, his mouth watered at the thought of what it would be like now. 
Your silence to his proposition only frustrated him even more. 
“Do you know how many people would die to be in your position right now? I’ve had women beg to be on their knees for me and I’m offering to pay you to do the opposite.”
You were sure that he was telling the truth because he certainly was the most breathtaking man you had ever seen in your entire life. But what confused you was why he didn’t just throw you down and do as he pleased. He was bigger than you, stronger than you, and far faster than you. If he wanted it as badly as he claimed, why was he bargaining with you? You could only assume it was the lingering effects of the era he had lived in. While he was an asshole, perhaps he took no joy in forcing himself on a woman in that manner.
And then there was the money. Rent wasn’t cheap, that was for sure. And not many people could say that they were paid to be pleasured. It wasn’t a terrible offer, and the last thing you wanted to do was displease a vampire that could kill you and had threatened to do so before.
Shit. 
“You wont hurt me?” You asked, your voice wavered. 
“Quite the opposite,” He smirked. He knew that he had won. 
A gasp of surprise parted your lips as he closed the distance between you, moving so fast that a gust of wind whipped up ruffling your hair and sending loose pages of paper tumbling from your desk. Your heart stuttered in fright, every minute you spent with him only served as a reminder of how dangerous he was. This arrangement you had with him was dangerous, you were toeing the line between life and death and that thought made your stomach turn in unease. He was a vampire, an apex predator, a creature that you had stopped believing in long ago, but also the undead embodiment of death. The very thing you feared the most. All it would take is one moment of frenzy, a lack of control and you would be left to bleed out in your sheets with no one to come and find your remains for weeks to pass. 
You didn’t want to die, but you knew he wouldn’t let you live. 
The touch of his cold fingers to your waist brought you back to him as he tugged you toward your bed, pressing you down onto the sheets before moving over you like an animal on the hunt. His eyes were pitch black, the veins beneath them prominent, and his fangs dangerously grazed his plump lips. He looked like a fallen angel, like Lucifer himself, the most beautiful outcast of them all. 
An involuntary cry of fright left you as he moved impossibly fast once more, his face now level with the side of your head, the tip of his nose just barely brushing over your cheek as he chuckled. Even his breath was frigid. 
“You’re nervous,” He hummed in delight, “Careful now, we wouldn’t want your heart to stop, would we?” 
He could feel the violent, rapid thumps of your heart where his chest was pressed against yours. It had been a long time since he had had a human like this, oftentimes he found it too annoying. They were fragile creatures and having to restrain himself was rather inconvenient, but he preferred his partners to be responsive when he had his way with them, unlike some of his kind who couldn’t care either way. Was it still necrophilia if both parties were technically dead? 
And while your heart was making itself known, you could feel nothing in response. His heart didn’t beat like yours, it had gone silent long ago and that thought only reminded you of just how wrong this entire thing was. He was dead, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around how he also seemed so very alive and while that scared you deeply, it also ignited a disturbing thought within you. But that thought was quickly halted when he noticed your lack of attention on him. 
He hated that your attention wasn’t on him. 
An annoyed growl rumbled in his throat as he moved back, quickly going down the length of your body and ripping your shorts down your legs, exposing you to the cold air. 
“Jin wait-” It felt as if all the air was sucked out of your lungs as he ignored you, plunging his face directly in between your thighs. 
He was unlike any of the partners you had had before. He did not take his time even though he evidently had plenty of it. He didn’t warm you up with gentle words, pleasing touches, or lingering kisses. Instead, he was absolutely ravenous. It was just like he said, he was hungry. But you, on the other hand, had not been prepared in the slightest for how sensitive you would be. 
You could only whine in discomfort as you tried to clench your thighs closed, one hand coming down to push at his shoulder. Your actions were completely useless, no matter how much force you could use it was like pushing against a concrete wall - he was immovable. 
You could feel him growl in annoyance which only sent a shock throughout your body, your hips twitching and your shoulder blades digging into the mattress. His fingers were harshly pressing against your thighs, forcing them open wider and hooking your legs over his shoulders so that he could get impossibly closer to you. 
“Too - too much!” You barely managed to get the words out, your body jolting from sharp bursts of pleasure. 
“Be a good pet and take it for me,” He crooned, parting from you for a mere moment to look up at you - his bright crimson eyes cutting through the darkness that had steadily filled the room. “I thought you said you would do anything to keep your life?”
You couldn’t explain the feeling that his words gave you, but the shame that lingered was recognizable. Shame that enduring pleasure to ensure your survival was an addictive cocktail of emotions. 
You couldn’t even form a response in time before he returned back to his feeding, his soft lips and firm tongue caressing you in a way that made you realize he was actively trying to make you feel good instead of solely focusing on gorging himself on your blood. You had no way of knowing that that just made the feed all the more enjoyable, the rush of hormones in your body only adding to the flavor. It was a flavor he already knew he was addicted to and while he was reluctant to admit it to himself, it was a flavor he could not live without. 
And with each feed there were more problems to come. While he knew his blood, saliva, and venom were incredibly intoxicating to your weakened human state - he underestimated the effect you would have on him. With all of the hormones his bite coaxed out of you there was one pesky one that affected him: oxytocin. It was a bonding hormone, one that fostered a relationship between feeder and donator which was why so many vampires rarely fed from the same human more than once typically preferring to drain the body dry and dump it anywhere to rot. 
He was willingly making himself vulnerable to you all in order to get another fix, another hit of your blood. And the worst part was, he didn’t mind. 
“Jin!” You cried. 
He was disgusted with himself, disgusted by the way his body shuddered and was aflame with tingles at the mere moan of his name rolling off of your lips. It was nothing special, countless others had done it before you, but he couldn’t understand why it was you. Why were you special? 
He could blame it on the damn hormone bond all he wanted, but this was only the second feed which meant, to his utmost horror, it was him. His interest in you, a human, was more than just superficial desire. 
Oh, how far he had fallen. 
He smelled your salty tears and he could even see the gleam of them as they rolled down the curves of your cheeks as your hips pitched forward, broken whimpers wracking your body that only served to drive him crazier. He could drown in you and it still wouldn’t be enough. 
And as soon as all of the tension within you snapped he was digging his fangs into the meat of your thigh, fresh, hot blood rushing over his tongue and down his throat. The blend was intoxicating for not only him but for you as well - the bite secreting venom that doubled the effects of all of his efforts that lit your brain and body on fire. You could become addicted to him just as easily as he was to you because that feeling, that feeling was indescribable and would never be able to be replicated by anyone but him. Just as he was chasing you for his fix, you could easily see yourself doing the same. 
When you came too, you were startled by the gentle touch of his tongue to the puncture wounds on your thigh. It soothed over the cuts rhythmically, urging the skin to sew itself back together again. And while he worked, he stared. Bright, crimson red eyes were trained on you. His gaze dark and dangerous. Your body that had once been limp and relaxed immediately tensed once more. The knowledge that a predator was nestled into your lap was enough to reignite fear in your chest. You feared that the slightest twitch or breath would signal for him to lunge again, but this time the outcome would not be so pleasurable for you. 
But Jin was a man of his word. You didn’t die that night and your bank account was fed in due course. 
This continued for the next six days. Whereas before it seemed like the vampire was able to abstain from feeding for as long as he wished, he had now become ensnared by a ravenous, bottomless hunger. And that was all the more frightening. But what was even more frightening was the way he began to change. 
He was still rude, cold, and dominating. But he had become ever present. His closeness could be described as suffocating. The only solitude you could find was in the daylight, but the minute the sun began to set he was back and hungrier than before. And after the…feeding, he would linger. He would touch you more often, his words still snarky but lacking their usual bite. It was like he was becoming comfortable around you. He was still insufferable, but undeniably comfortable. 
It was that comfortability that encouraged you to entertain that dark thought you had tried to smother before. Your ever present fear of death could easily be solved, the answer to your problem mere inches away from you. You understood the gravity of the situation, what it would mean to become something like him. But you couldn’t deny the truth that you could live with ending the lives of others if it meant you could sustain your own. You didn’t want to die, you couldn’t fathom dying, and you had an undead man at your disposal. If he was willing. 
It was after your seventh session together that you decided to finally ask him. His cherry red lips were pressed against your throat, swallowing every last drop of blood that slid down your skin. Your neck stung and your body thrummed with ecstasy, your fingers cupping the back of his head on reflex - moving without your permission. 
“Jin?” You asked. 
He hummed in response, visibly enthralled by the feed but letting you know he was listening anyway. 
“I want to be like you,” You whispered. 
A slick pop echoed in the room, his fangs pulled from your neck and retracted into his mouth, disappearing from sight. His eyes narrowed, his dark brows drawing together in confusion and distaste. 
“No,” He simply said, retreating to the foot of your bed. 
“Why not?” 
“Because you would be useless to me, that’s why. What good is a donor that’s dead?” He scoffed. 
You couldn’t deny the ache you felt in your chest, the sting that “useless” struck against your heart. 
“You’re…you’re going to grow tired of me eventually. I’ll get old, I won’t taste as good anymore. Then, I’ll be useless.”
“Oh, I plan to savor every last drop that you can offer. I won’t let you go to waste like that, you are mine after all.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean? You’ll just kill me before I go bad? Put me out of my misery before I can rot? I’m a fucking human being not a piece of meat!” You yelled, angrily standing up from your bed. 
You expected him to become enraged, to become violent. But if anything he was deathly calm, still, and silent. 
“Wouldn’t that be a kindness,” he stood from the bed, now towering over you, “To not have to grow older, to be in pain? To just stop here where you’re perfect, when you’re young and beautiful?” He said with a soft caress down your cheek. 
“But you could give me what I want,” You pleaded, “You would never have to see me again, I could go far away and I wouldn’t be your problem anymore.”
A frown pulled at his lips, frustration falling over his features, “It’s not as simple as that. You would be bound to me, there are rules about these things.” 
“Rules? Like laws, is there someone in charge of you?”
“Don’t bring that Twilight bullshit into this,” He hissed, running his hands through his hair in what appeared to be distress. 
“Then I don’t understand, why can’t you do this for me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked! I’ve given you everything you wanted so that I could stay alive! Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to die!”
“Because you don’t understand what you’re asking for!” He snapped. 
In that moment, he was brought back to that fateful day all those years ago. Yoongi had warned him, he had tried to stop him and he hadn’t listened. And now, he was being faced with a painful reminder of his naivety and arrogance when he stared back at you. Jin never regretted becoming a vampire. He never regretted his inability to grow old or the only way he was able to satiate his hunger. He enjoyed it. But if there was anything he didn’t enjoy, it was being under the control of someone else. 
“We would be connected for the rest of eternity. Anything I ask of you, you have to do. You can’t deny me even if you tried. And even if you ran, you would eventually come back whether you wanted to or not. I would be your sire, your creator, you couldn’t hurt me no matter how badly you want to. We would be stuck together, do you understand?” 
If there was anything he was afraid of, which he would never admit to, it would be having to rely on someone like that. It would be loving you, obsessively loving you like he felt the desire to creep over him. While he refused to admit it, all of those feeds had done their toll. He could feel the tugs of a weak bond forming between you - begging to be strengthened by a little of his own blood and a swift death. If you stayed human, he could save you from the fate he suffered through. And if he killed you, then no one else could have you. It was insane, but to him it was incredibly logical. 
You had been quiet for quite some time, your face pensive before you finally spoke. 
“That doesn’t sound all that different from our current arrangement.” 
“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” He yelled, grabbing the closest thing to him and flinging it across the room in a show of strength and anger. So this was what Yoongi felt like. 
“You’ve exhausted your usefulness to me,” He spat in rage, “Good luck defending yourself on your own.” 
And just like that, he was gone. The only remainder of his presence was the broken chair that lay in pieces on the ground and the huge dent in the plaster from where it had hit. 
You couldn’t stop the sudden wave of tears that poured down your face. That had been your only way to cheat death, and he wouldn’t give it to you after you had given him every piece of yourself that he had asked for. 
The silence was loud, your sniffles and your pounding heart painfully apparent. But what was even more apparent, was the sense of paranoia steadily creeping over you. 
What did you have to defend yourself from now that he was gone? 
~~~~~~~
Jin was starving. 
Even he was not so thick-headed that he couldn’t see what he was doing. He was throwing a temper tantrum. 
He had left you for a month now in what was supposed to be a break that would teach you a lesson. You weren’t allowed to make demands from him, you weren’t the one in control. But if there was anything he had learned from his pathetic plan, it was that you were very much in control. 
You had managed to burrow your way into his unwilling, stone cold heart. A feat that no one in his human and vampiric life had managed to do. The very thought itself made his stomach turn. He had never had to depend on anyone else, he never wanted commitment in that sense. Yet here he was yearning for you, a pathetic little hermit. His pathetic little hermit. 
He let out an audible groan, collapsing back against one of the velvet couches in the club. The blue and red lights flashed over his face, his stomach rumbled in pain. He had thought it would only take a week for you to break, just a few days before you apologized and begged for him to come back. But he had greatly underestimated you. 
It had been a month and he hadn’t fed. Everyone else paled in comparison, their blood sitting on his tongue like spoiled milk; he couldn’t even manage to swallow a drop. And that was completely his fault. This was why he was warned not to keep feeding from the same source. You were bonded now and he was suffering because of it. 
He had never felt so backed into a corner before. And the fact that it was all because of a human was just salt in the wound. He thought that time would sever the bond but in reality, distance had just made it grow stronger. 
Even now he was certain that he could smell your scent sifting through the hazy air, it’s tendrils beckoning him to come find you. 
It was the prick of his fangs against his lip and the sudden pool of saliva flooding his mouth that made him realize it was anything but a fantasy. You were there. A wave of satisfaction rolled over him, you had broken first in a stalemate that you were unaware of. He had won. But any excitement he felt about his win was quickly thwarted when he was reminded of the present danger. You, who smelled so heavenly, had once more crawled into a nest of vampires. 
He quickly lurched to his feet, cutting through the crowds of vampires and humans alike in order to find you. You were in the most dangerous spot in Briar Hills and he could not protect you. His abstinence had greatly weakened him, he could only hope that no one else would be aware of that. He was the eldest there and he was in charge, that should be enough to keep everyone else away from you. 
Well, all except one. 
You hadn’t even seen her coming, her or her “friends.” You had just barely managed to step foot inside the bunker before she was ripping you back outside, moving so quickly that your head was spinning and your neck burned with whiplash. 
You moaned in pain, one hand cradling the back of your neck while the other dug into the damp earth in an attempt to ground yourself from the violent pounding that vibrated all throughout your head. At first you were utterly dumbstruck, confused as to what exactly happened. But the swift kick of a pointy shoe to your ribs rolled you onto your back and allowed you to be faced with four pairs of glowing red eyes. 
The pain in your head was quickly overshadowed by the hot shooting pain in your ribs. Your spinning head could just barely register the loud crack that had sounded when you were kicked. What looked to be an effortless, swift strike from her was enough to break your ribs. 
“Hello sweetheart,” A familiar, sickeningly sweet voice crooned. 
It was her, that vampire from a month ago. The one that Jin had saved you from. 
Cold shocks ran through your body as you panted, grabbing your side as you tried to scoot away. 
“Ah, ah, ah,” She teased, grabbing you by your ankle and roughly pulling you back. Another sickening pop echoed through the night as a violent scream tore its way free from your throat. 
“Now, I’m not letting you get away from me so easily this time. You really pissed me off, and now you’re going to give me what I want.” 
You had no time to react and nowhere to run to. She and her friends descended on you like a pack of hungry vultures. They ripped at clothing and jostled you around like a toy they didn’t want to share. And all four of them dug into you. With Jin, there had been little to no pain. But this was the worst pain of your life. You could feel teeth digging into you, ruthlessly cutting through your flesh and ripping it apart. Hot, thick blood was pouring out of your wounds, drenching your skin and your clothes in an instant. 
There was nothing you could do but scream, cry, and shake. 
You were helpless and soon you were going to die. You had no doubt that they had every intention to bleed you dry. You felt like you were on the verge of passing out. Your greatest fear was suddenly becoming a reality and there was absolutely nothing that you could do about it. Death spared no one, especially you. 
And for a moment you thought that death really had come for you because the pain was suddenly wrenched away. 
You laid there, groaning in pain as you listened to what was happening. You could hear her low, sultry voice, the sounds of hits landing, and a deep, rumbling growl that shook you to your very core. It wasn’t death, but it was a close second. Jin had found you. 
You forced yourself to open your eyes and look, you struggled to turn your head but when you did your heart dropped. Half of her group collapsed, in various states of injury. But Jin was the worst. He was barely managing to stand and he looked so weak. His cheeks were gaunt compared to the last time you had seen him, the veins beneath his eyes prominent and exposed. But worse of all, he was coated in his own blood. It stuck to him like an oil spill, pouring from wounds that were trying to heal themselves albeit very slowly. He wasn’t going to make it out of this; he was too hurt, too weak, too hungry, and outnumbered. 
“I knew it,” Junghee giggled, her voice pitchy with murderous glee. “I could smell you all over her, you bonded with her!” 
Jin said nothing. He wobbled, his chest rose and fell rapidly with angered breaths. 
“Oh, how far you’ve fallen, Jin,” She sneered, “So high and mighty and look at you now. You’re no better than the rest of us - in fact you’re weaker than us! I’m so sick and tired of living under you and your rules, I think it’s time someone replaces that coven of yours. It’s time for a new jurisdiction.” 
“I’ll give you one chance to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness,” He said with a deathly calm voice. 
“I’m going to rip you apart and burn the pieces. And when I’m finished with you, I’m going to drain your little pet dry.” She said with a cocky grin. 
Jin hummed in response, his head slightly tilting back as he thought. His eyes seemed to glow even more intensely in the dark, a ring of light shining around his irises as he spoke. 
“That’s an interesting idea. Tear each other apart.” 
You stared in shock as they immediately obeyed his command. It was mind-control, he could compel individuals to do his bidding. How many times had he used it on you and you had gone on unaware of it? 
All four of them turned on one another, rushing at each other with abandon. It looked like they were marionettes, like someone else was controlling their limbs and forcing them to do as he commanded. You watched as the four of them attacked each other, clawing at their friends and prying their limbs from their bodies. The sounds were horrific. You could hear them screaming, crying, gurgling, and begging for it to end as they tortured one another. Black blood sprayed and stained their hands and faces as they ripped each other apart limb by limb. 
Your stomach rolled at the sight, your wounds flashed hot with pain, and your ribs and ankle throbbed in sympathy as they violently mutilated each other until they couldn’t reach one another anymore - their limbs dismembered and useless. 
You choked down the bile that threatened to escape your throat. They had tried to kill you, they were getting what they deserved. They were going to do the same to you and Jin.
Jin. 
You caught sight of the vampire a few feet away from you. He had fallen to the ground after he had issued the command. His body was unnervingly still, his skin ashen and the sickliest pallor you had ever seen. He was dying, you were sure of it. That was something you had thought to be impossible for his kind but here he was proving you wrong. It was possible, but hard to do. 
You felt a surge of adrenaline wash over you. You couldn’t let him die, he was your one chance to avoid that very same fate. You needed him just as much as he needed you. If you could help him then he would owe you. You could get the immortality that you were desperate for. 
You cried out in pain as you rolled onto your side and crawled to him. Each inch you moved felt like you were being stabbed along the way. Your body was crying in protest but you were on a mission. 
When you finally closed the distance between you, you could breathe a sigh of relief. He was hurt badly, but he was still “alive,” if not barely. 
You grabbed him by his shoulders and slowly, painfully, dragged him into your lap. Your body threatened to crumble beneath his weight as you guided his head to the open wound on your neck. This was a risk, a really big risk. You were hurt badly and you had already lost so much blood, but you were sure that he would be able to stop. 
“Come on, Jin,” You encouraged him, cupping the back of his head with your hand, “Come on drink, you need to drink.” 
You felt a cool puff of breath on your neck, his nose slightly skimming over your pulse as the scent of blood pulled him out of unconsciousness. And as soon as he was awake, his predatory instincts took control. He lunged forward, wrapping you up in a vice like grip as he dug his fangs into the already open wound. 
You hissed but held still, allowing him to get his fill. He was scarily inhuman at that moment. Jin had fed from you many times, but he had never been like this before. Silent, overbearing, and territorial. 
Your eyes began to flutter, they were feeling incredibly heavy and it was becoming hard to keep them open. You had lost too much blood, you were still losing too much blood. 
“Jin,” You croaked, “You need to stop.” 
He ignored you and continued drinking, only digging his fangs in harder to force more blood from your throat. 
“Jin please stop, please,” You cried, “You’re going to kill me!”
When you realized he wasn’t responding, that he was too enthralled by the feeding frenzy, you began to fight. You tugged at his hair, pushed at his shoulders, kicked at him with your good leg but it all was for nothing. 
He let out an animalistic growl, squeezing you tighter before roughly shoving you to the ground and pinning your wrists above your head. He groaned in delight as your fighting ceased, as your blood flowed more easily into his waiting mouth. 
You were fading fast, your visions steadily beginning to black out around the edges. He was going to kill you, and just like before there was nothing you could do about it. You were utterly helpless. 
Your own desires would be your downfall. Just like Icarus, you had flown too close to the sun. 
~~~~~~~
When Jin came to, he was confused. 
He couldn’t remember anything after he had ordered Junghee and her coven to dismember one another. But when he became aware, he quickly figured out what had happened. Their corpses were sprawled about, their limbs still occasionally twitching. 
And you were there, scarily still in his arms with the remnants of your blood on his lips. 
He didn’t expect a wave of grief to wash over him. He hadn’t felt that even when his own family died or when he watched them mourn the loss of a son that never truly perished. But the sight of you, your broken body limp in his arms was enough to force a choked sob out of him. It was painful, it was complete and utter despair. 
It was in that moment that he realized he did love you. In some horrific twist of fate, he loved you. He once thought that he would be able to kill you, then no one else could have you. But he didn’t anticipate the pain that it would cause him. 
A soft, weak flutter halted all grief he felt. It was your heart. Your little human heart was still trying to beat. You could still be saved. 
That was how he ended up here, with the only person he knew that could fix you. 
“So, this is what you’ve been doing with all your free time.” Namjoon hummed, checking over your vitals. 
Jin stayed quiet, nervously clenching and unclenching his fingers. At that moment, he understood what Yoongi went through. If he believed in karma, which he didn’t, he would have been able to appreciate it. This was what he deserved after what he put Yoongi and the fledgling through. But Jin was far more determined to keep you human than his “brother” ever was. 
But it was undeniable that he could finally understand him. He finally knew what Yoongi was trying to protect him from all those years ago. 
“Junghee really did a number on her. I’ve given her an awful lot of my blood to heal her wounds. It would just take one quick break, Jin. You said it yourself, this is what she wanted.” He mused. 
“She’s my pet, nothing more. She’s useless to me as one of us, I want to make her last as long as I can.” He said with a warning glare.
“It’s useless, you know, lying to me. I could smell it on you the second you came through the door. You bonded with her, she’s yours now. Do with her what you will, but she will join us soon. Whether it’s you or me, well that’s entirely up to her. But I have a feeling she would let any of us do it at this point.” 
“You wouldn’t-”
“Oh, but I would. Remember this, everything I do is for our family. You helped me with Yoongi, you understood then what I was trying to do. You can keep playing with her for a little longer, but she will join us. Don’t make me command you, Jin.” 
Jin’s back stiffened, that familiar tug in his brain was there. That feeling that he needed to fulfill his creator’s wishes. And so, he bought himself some time. 
“I don’t think it’s her you need to be worried about,” Jin said, that cocky edge to his voice back once more. 
“Oh really?” Namjoon asked, leaning forward in interest. 
“When was the last time you checked in on Hoseok?”
Namjoon’s brows furrowed in thought. Jin had got him, this was what he was good at - misdirection. 
“Hoseok too?” He mumbled to himself. “Don’t you find it odd that this is all happening now? Yoongi and the fledgling, you and your pet, Taehyung and the little human he keeps in his studio, and now Hoseok? How interesting.”
He knew about Taehyung? But he hadn’t said anything about Jimin or Jungkook. He didn’t know everything. He had two more bargaining chips to buy himself more time. 
“Watch over her, make sure she doesn’t hemorrhage. You’ve done a good thing, Jin. Thank you.” Namjoon said before briskly leaving the room - his office that now served as a hospital for you. 
He wasn’t so sure that he had done a good thing. He was paying for what he had done to Yoongi now, what would come to him next now that he sold out Hoseok. And what about Jungkook and Jimin, what would happen when he revealed their secrets as well. 
That was all he could think about as he waited for you to wake up. Namjoon’s blood was doing a thorough job. He was old and strong and because of that your body was mending itself incredibly quickly. 
The only thing he hated was that you smelled like him. It was Namjoon’s blood in your body and because of that you were practically emanating his scent. Your normal heavenly essence was murky in the haze of his creator’s and it would take some time for it to dissipate. He was going to have to live with it for the time being. For now, he needed to figure out how he was going to protect you from the fledgling and from Hoseok. One was hungry and the other was certainly going to be pissed with him. 
But if he could keep you like this for a little while longer it was worth it. 
Your heart monitor was starting to accelerate, the beeping became loud and frequent. You were awake. 
He slowly raised his head to look at you and he felt his stomach drop. You were giving him the thousand yard stare, your frail body tense on the mattress. You were utterly and completely frightened of him. 
Your name left his lips in a hushed whisper as he stood, moving closer to your bedside. You shrieked and huddled into the furthest corner that you could. 
“Stay away from me!” You yelled, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to block yourself off from him. 
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his tone the softest it had ever been, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Let me go, I want to leave. I don’t want to see you ever again, I want to go home!” You were rambling now, every frightened word running out of you with a gasp. 
“You can’t leave, it’s too late now.” He said apologetically. He had never apologized before. 
“I want to leave!” You screamed again, “You tried to kill me! You said you wouldn’t but you did! You lied, you’re a fucking liar!” 
“I’m in control now, that’s never going to happen again I swear.”
“You’re a fucking liar!” You screamed again, your words trailing off with a broken sob. 
He had felt grief when he thought he had killed you, but now he was experiencing heartbreak. His first, genuine heartbreak. He thought seeing your lifeless body was bad, but this, this was somehow worse. 
He was suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort you, to hold you. And so he tried. The second he picked you up you began to writhe, screaming obscenities at him and clawing at his skin. You were trying to do anything you could to get away from him.
The last time he had held you like this, held you this close, he had tried to kill you. Your body and mind were completely in survival mode now and you needed to get away from him. 
But he wouldn’t let you budge. He pulled you into his chest and wrapped you in a tight embrace, pinning your arms in between the two of you so that you couldn’t hurt yourself while trying to hurt him. All you could do was scream and cry and writhe but eventually your body went lax when you realized it was pointless. There was no escape. 
Your brush with death had only made you more frightened of it. You had met that dark, empty void and the void had stared back at you. What some might have found to be peaceful, you had found to be terrifying. And, as a result, you were terrified of Jin. He had brought you to that void and your body was certain he would escort you back. 
“I’m sorry,” He finally said, the words not burning him like he once thought they would for the longest time. “I’m sorry.” 
You sniffled as you limply laid in his hold. You could feel the soft touch of his lips against your cheeks, collecting your tears as they brushed by in the lightest of kisses. 
“Never again,” He mumbled, “I promise.” 
You whimpered once more, the word liar echoing in your mind. 
“I’ll give you what you want, I swear. You’ll never be that close to death again, I’ll keep you safe. Just give me time.” 
You slightly perked in interest. What you want…what you want. He’ll give you what you want. You tilted your head up at the same time he went to kiss your forehead, only for him to gently kiss you instead. He froze for a moment, still as a statue as he processed what he had done before he did it again, and again, and again. It was like he had discovered a new insatiable hunger that he couldn’t settle no matter how many times he tried. 
“I love you,” He admitted so softly against your lips that you thought you had imagined it. 
He loved you. He was going to give you what you wanted. You had almost died. He was a liar. Your mind was reeling. 
“No one else can have you, not even death can take you away from me; because you’re mine, remember?” 
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songmingisthighs · 12 days
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Pitiful, You're Pitiful
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ch. iii
group : ateez
pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader
genre : angst, mature
word count : 2.5 k
warning : adultery, cheating, medical condition (?), mentions of loss/miscarriage, negative depiction of wooyoung
a/n : I'M FINALLY UPDATING THIS HOLY SHIT i would like to thank stress and my manic episode for making me abandon sleeping at 4 am and just went nyoom with this
a/a/n : btw happy black day 🫶🫶
buy me coffee ?
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The three weeks that passed after Wooyoung's incident was rather hard on you but it was severely... bland.
Mind you, there was nothing in particular that happened but between finding out you were pregnant with a child you didn't even know how your cheating husband would feel about and finding out the person your husband cheated with was his staff member, you couldn't tell if your morning sickness was mostly caused by your pregnancy or as a physical reaction to your current marital situation. Not to mention your daughter had been severely opinionated regarding your care of her father.
Despite everything, you still took care of Wooyoung well. That day you left after finding out that Wooyoung was with a bitch who had some audacity to make big claims about her status, and you came back not two hours later with Wooyoung's things. Upon your arrival, Wooyoung was visibly tense, as if he was being wary and you assumed that the nurse said something about the whore he was with not being his wife and he panicked because how was she supposed to know that? You didn't make things easier for him either when you showed up all calm and collected unlike how a wife usually would react upon finding out that her husband had been hospitalized. He knew how you would usually fuss over him when he was ill so your behaviour struck to him as abnormal and concerning. Or well, something to be concerned about, it's not like he would be concerned over you at this point, right? Though, you excused yourself as being out of it and he just bought the lame excuse. Luckily, his mom soon came and later when you brought your children to visit him, your behaviour became less of a concern and the next two days he was under observation went by smoothly.
But still, the turmoil you felt didn't die down, it stayed stagnant within you and you were at a point where you were feeling too much but couldn't exactly let anything out. Except for puking, that's non-negotiable.
"You need to check that stomach bug out," Wooyoung said as he poured himself a glass of coffee upon hearing your footsteps nearing the kitchen. You had gotten into the habit of ignoring him because you didn't know what you would do or say to him if you opened your mouth. So you simply let out a hum of acknowledgement, not even bothering to answer him completely, not after you just emptied your stomach. "Did you drink any wine last night?" Wooyoung asked, now leaning on the counter to look at you who had situated yourself on the stove to prepare your children some breakfast before they had to go to school. But of course, you simply shook your head whilst turning the electronic inductor on and placing a pan over the surface.
It seemed like Wooyoung had taken note of your odd behaviour and while normally you would be glad that your husband had taken interest in you, all you felt was just sick to the pit of your stomach. It was as if his attention no longer mattered knowing that he shared that with someone else. Someone who hadn't done anything for him for years only to be betrayed yet someone worth risking his marriage and vows to you for.
Wooyoung huffed and pushed himself off the counter to go over to you, leaning on the countertop close to you to take a good look at your face. "I'm worried. You seem like you haven't been yourself for quite a while now," boy did you want to whack him and claw his eyes out for saying that because how dare he act like he cared when you knew he had something going on with a cheap side piece. But you held it in as best as you could, balling your hands tight that the spatula in your hand almost snapped and just shrugged, "d'know what you're talking about," you muttered lowly, trying to avoid as much interaction with him as you could. With a sigh, Wooyoung tried to push some hair out of your face but for some reason your body moved involuntarily out of the way as if revolted by his touch which surprised Wooyoung who stood aghast, staring at you with wide eyes as you stared him back with nose twitching. Knowing you (ironically), you would not avoid his touch or act as if he was going to hurt you because (to his knowledge) he had never hurt you nor does he have shown any inclination that you should be afraid of him. Both of you just stood there in the kitchen, Wooyoung in surprise at your reaction and you in annoyance and once you finally took a good look at him, you glared at him in anger and boy did Wooyoung took notice of that.
"What?" He asked, stupidly, you might add. "What?" You answered back, returning to scooping breakfast to your children's plates. "Okay, sure, act like you haven't been avoiding me these past three weeks, (y/n). Did something happen when I was in the hospital?" yes, you got hurt but you were as fine as a peach because your mistress was there, "Are you mad that you had to take care of me these past three weeks?" no, but I am mad that your whore claimed to be your wife to the nurses and even had the gall to visit you while I was right there against my will, pregnant and all, "Did I do something wrong?" and that was when you snapped your head and crossed your arms at Wooyoung, "I don't know, Wooyoung, you tell me. Did you do something wrong?" though he wanted you to answer him, the tone of your voice surprised him greatly to the point that he straightened up. "Hm? Tell me Wooyoung, is there something you think that you know is VERY wrong that you wish to tell me right here right now?"
How you wished you had a camera to capture just how stupid Wooyoung looked. It was obvious to him, or made obvious to him, that you knew that something was up but there was no way Wooyoung could confirm that you knew that he had been cheating on you with his subordinate out of all people. As much as it was the most logical answer to your sudden hostility, Wooyoung didn't want to accidentally confirm his suspicion much to your dismay.
The moment he heard footsteps rushing to the kitchen was the moment Wooyoung believed that God existed because he knew the conversation was coming to an end. "Morning!" Woohyun chirped, throwing his book bag by the doorway before rushing to give you a hug, completely unaware of the tense situation or even the stare-off you were having with your husband. With one final glare, you shifted your attention from the cheating bastard Wooyoung to Woohyun, smiling to cover up your annoyance, "Morning Woodonnie," it had been a while since Woohyun grew out of his lisp phase but the nickname stuck and he liked that you had a special name for him, "Slept good?" he nodded with a wide grin, "Want food?" his grin widened and his nod was firmer. "Dayoung, do you want food?" you asked your daughter, who was too busy grinning on her phone to actually look at you, "Hey, Dayoung?" You called out again, sighing after carefully handing Woohyun his plate of eggs and half a toast.
Realizing that Dayoung was ignoring you, Wooyoung huffed and snatched Dayoung's phone, causing her to let out a 'hey!', "Your mother was talking to you, Dayoung," he stated, unimpressed with his daughter's blatant disregard for you (for once). Dayoung rolled her eyes and turned to you, "Yeah, I want breakfast, if not I wouldn't have come here now, would I?" Wooyoung was about to scold her but he was stopped when he saw you visibly gag, halting everyone's activities. Then you gagged once more before dropping the spatula on the counter and rushing to the toilet without saying anything else.
"She hadn't thrown up on those eggs, did she?" Dayoung asked, cringing at the thought of you doing something to her breakfast. Wooyoung snapped his head to Dayoung and glared at her, "Can you not? Your mom is sick and the last thing she needed was for you to act disrespectful to her," he scolded which surprised Dayoung because, to her knowledge, Wooyoung hadn't been that defensive of you for a long while.
"Is mom okay?" Woohyun asked, worry visible on his face and he was about to get off his chair to go to you when Wooyoung patted him on his head, "Don't worry about mom, okay? She'll be fine and she'll be even finer if she sees you eating," he smiled, trying to assure Woohyun which thankfully work as Woohyun began eating his breakfast with so much gusto Wooyoung had to tell him to slow down.
When Wooyoung got to you, you were getting out of the bathroom, looking pale and sweaty. He immediately approached you with a small towel he grabbed from the linen closet when he was getting to you, "Really, (y/n), you need to go to the hospital and get this checked out. I'll go with you today, okay? You definitely can't go anywhere yourself right now, I-" you simply snatched the towel from his hand and pat your mouth dry, refusing to look at him as you turned away, "I'm fine, Wooyoung, I can manage myself," it was the first time that you hoped he would just shrug and go back to not caring but of course, Wooyoung didn't come through when you desperately needed him to. Instead of leaving you be like you wanted, Wooyoung grabbed your shoulders gently and turned you around, "(y/n), please stop being stubborn and let me help you, okay? You're clearly unwell and whatever it is, we can get rid of it and you'll be better!"
You knew that he didn't mean it like that because you knew that he didn't know about the growing person inside of you. But still, with your current state both physical and emotional, you were hurt and you couldn't help but think that his words meant that he didn't want the child that he helped create.
Balling your fists, you used the tension in your hands to stop yourself from rushing over and punching Wooyoung in the face. Instead, you pushed his hands off of you. "Like I said, I can manage myself. Shouldn't you be worried about work? You know, with people at work that you need to give more attention to?" you tried pushing past him to tend to your children but he effectively blocked your path with his body, frowning down at you, "What's with you? I'm trying to help here, (y/n), I'm worried about you!" "Well, maybe you've been ignoring me too much too long to the point that right now I'm so used to doing things myself without your help, Wooyoung. You've been very absent from me and I'm sorry to say this but it has come to the point that your presence is actually making me feel annoyed and I don't know if it was because of you in general or if it's because of this very uncharacteristic shift in your behaviour that's making me wonder if you're compensating for something or if you genuinely want to be there for me now."
Though you had managed to not physically hit him, your words stung worse than any slap you could deliver to him. Wooyoung was painfully aware of how distant he had been with you since your miscarriage and what he thought was his attempt to give you space had instead caused a rift in your marriage. He never meant for things to go this far, heck he never thought that he was capable of cheating on you but when another woman approached him when he was crying in the practice room to offer him a shoulder to cry on, he felt like his own pain was being acknowledged. After all, the loss didn't just happen to you, it happened to him too. While you were in your zombie state, Wooyoung manned the ship and put himself on the back burner, not even letting himself falter and stupidly not letting himself process the pain. He wasn't justifying his infidelity whatsoever, he knew that it was beyond wrong and he was disgusting for committing to it for so long. But it felt nice to let his vulnerability taken care of even if it ended up with him using someone he had no affection for as a mean to get some form of twisted connection because he was too ashamed of himself to touch you again.
Wooyoung stood there silent, not knowing how to react, or more like not knowing what to react to first. So you simply shook your head and walked past him, this time successfully.
Soon, Wooyoung heard Dayoung and Woohyun saying (yelling) their goodbyes which was then followed by the front door shutting.
When the silence of the empty house settled in on him, he found himself slumped on the couch, emotionless as your words kicked him all over. His chest burned with hatred for himself and his fingers became tingly from anxiety. He couldn't help but think of the ways he had failed as a husband and perhaps as a father considering how his daughter treated you. It dawned on him how mad he was when Dayoung disrespected you earlier, how he hated seeing you, who had always treated Dayoung with a lot of consideration, to be treated that way. And while he felt justified for chastising his daughter for her action, it was almost laughable how he didn't do the same when what he had been doing was a hundred, if not a thousand times more disrespectful. He was a hypocrite. You didn't deserve this.
Negative emotions welled inside Wooyoung, creating turmoil that almost made it hard for him to breathe.
Unfortunately, despite his realization, Wooyoung found himself driven to an action he had repeatedly done like a sick act of compensation when he was feeling bad. His hand fished the phone out of his pocket and his fingers moved as if on their own, immediately finding the contact that he didn't even bother to fake because he trusted that you wouldn't snoop because you were not that kind of a person.
"Hey, I know you're not busy until later in the evening, can I come?"
And the self-hate repeated itself.
But how much can he hate himself when he is being distracted by shallow, unfulfilling "pleasure" instead of dealing with his true feelings? How much more pain should he give you before he could finally take the first step to stopping and coming clean?
Maybe this was the last time he did it.
Maybe.
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lovelytsunoda · 28 days
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welcome to wherever you are // lance stroll
summary: weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions. but for lance's fiancee, the wedding is just another big milestone that her father never lived to see, like her first day of kindergarten, or her high school graduation.
pairing: lance stroll x hutchence!reader
warnings: depictions of greif, mentions of a parental death.
author's note: i've been on such a bender lately listening to inxs, they truly were one of the greatest bands of the 80s, and I think its a shame that things ended like they did with micheal's death in 1997. i could genuinely talk for hours about it, and about the very real daughter he left behind, but for now i'm going to let the fic speak for itself.
also i feel like i've only done smaus lately bc i've just been in a total idea rut and these are so easy to make lmao
y/n.hutchence just posted to her private story!
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VOGUE Weddings: Inside the wedding between Aussie-rock darling YN Hutchence and F1 driver Lance Stroll (you might have to click on these to read them properly)
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y/n.hutchence just made a post!
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liked by lancestroll, kirkpengilly, officialinxs and 34,508 others.
y/n.hutchence today was a hard day, despite being the happiest of my life. like most milestones, it was bittersweet. while i spent most of my day in love, and excited for what's to come, part of me was also grieving. my dad should have been here to walk me down the aisle, to meet my husband. to give a speech at the reception. i miss you, dad. but i know that you'd be so proud of me.
to my lovely lance, thank you for choosing me, for loving me. for reminding me that its okay to feel all the emotions at once. i love you forever, my husband xx
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lancestroll i love you, my darling wife. you are so strong.
andrewfarriss michael would be so proud of you, kiddo
user the fact that she went public for the day just to speak about her grief on her wedding day . . . that's a caliber of person i could never be
sebastianvettel thank you both for including me in your special day
user she walked down the aisle to 'beautiful girl'....i'm totally not crying my goddamn eyes out
user im not crying you are
user her dad died over 20 years ago....she needs to let it go
-> user lmao imagine telling someone who never knew her father outside of how the media portrayed him after his death to 'get over it'.
mickschumacher 10/10 pasta bar, would come again. your harem of old men scared the crap out of me, though.
-> kirkpengilly old?? who are you calling OLD
-> y/n.hutchence you mean my non-biological uncles? mick, they're the biggest sweethearts
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y/n.hutchence just added to her story
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y/n.hutchence and lancestroll just posted!
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liked by astonmartinf1, sebastianvettel, timfarriss and 29,808 others
lancestroll mr. & mrs. hutchence - stroll, march 2024, sydney australia
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y/n.hutchence i think lance hutchence sounds pretty great
-> lancestroll and i think y/n stroll sounds pretty good too
scottyjames you're taking her last name? good on you, bro
astonmartinf1 welcome to the family y/n! (or should we say 'welcome to wherever you are'? see what we did there?)
fernandoalonso did anyone else get a little teary eyed during the vows?
-> timfarriss i was right there with you mate
-> mickschumacher i saw esteban cry so hard he gave himself the hiccups
y/n.hutchence hey google, play 'never tear us apart' by inxs ( and say thanks to kirk for playing the sax almost all night)
(next part)
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shewrites02 · 16 days
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Forgive Me if I break You | Zoro x Reader | Part II
Part I
Trigger warnings: Domestic assault, Alcohol, verbal abuse , physical abuse, graphic depictions of violence. THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT ! MINORS DNI !
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*THERE IS A GRAPHIC DEPECTION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE FIRST FLASHBACK, IF NOT COMFORTABLE PLEASE SKIP. (the last line is the most important anyway)*
A/N: Thank you for all the support I've gotten at the start of this series, I was so nervous no one would be interested lol. I hope this part lives up to your expectations.
Request: Open
Word count: 5K
Leave a comment if you enjoy :)
The cold of the ice pack stings against your cheek, almost as much as the insults lodged in your throat with nowhere to go. Harshly, you swallow them down, having to reacclimate to the taste of stifled feelings. Almost completely forgotten in those two months.
You're in your shared bedroom, sitting in Lee's lap. Your head lays against his chest. With how tenderly he stroked your hair, you're almost able to imagine care in his touch. Pretend it is the swordsman who caresses you so tenderly. Lee places a soft kiss to your cheek, laying his head against yours.
"I'm sorry, y/n ... I didn't mean to lose my temper." He coos. In the past six months he never came up with any other excuse. Always an apology then an explanation of why it was your fault.
"It's jus’- you embarrassed me in front of our guests, interrupting me like that. You know I hate when you do that- and that fucking swordsman clearly has feelings for you."
Lee is almost completely lost in his rambling, and you think for a moment you will get relief from this puppet show he has forced you into. But the mention of Zoro has you going stiff.
"It's disgusting. a lowlife pirate thinking he can have what is mine. I forbid you from seeing him, do you understand?"
"Yes dear." you respond.
As if the swordsman wanted anything to do with you now. Not after what you've done to him- not after he has seen how pathetic you are. The future world's best swordsman deserves more than someone like you.
"I'm so glad you're home." Lee pivots. "I can't believe I thought you left me-"
Lee lets out a chuckle as though the thought is inconceivable. In spite of your rigidness, the chief takes a deep breath to relax into the headboard. Each chuckle that leaves his mouth tightens your shackles. Reaffirming what you already know- you aren't going anywhere.
"Is that what happened to the countryside?"  You ask meekly. Fearful of the answer, but so desperate for the truth.  "Did you burn the lemon grove to punish me?"
"... Yes."
Tears swell in your eyes as you pull away to look at the merciless man in front of you. A man who would bathe in your blood with no remorse. So desperate for your obedience he is willing to strip the last memories of your mother away from you as punishment . Did not need proof of your transgressions, his outrage evidence enough to justify his actions.
The chief uses the edge of his thumb to swipe the shallow tears brimming in your eyes.
"We can replant all of them my love, even more, now that you are home. "He lets his thumb sweep over your cheek and lips before he draws away.
Still he wears no semblance of remorse. No guilt or shame for what he's done. For the villagers - his people- homes destroyed in the crossfire of his rage. Couldn't care less about the massive amounts of  nature he burned to ash in the name of revenge. Their  forfeiture was a consequence of your decision to act so selfishly.  It was all your fault-
Why should the chief feel apologetic?
"And the villagers?"
Lee leans in to gently place another kiss to your cheek. As though his kisses can ease the pain of his strikes. Something in you wants to believe he is trying to soothe the pain he inflicted on you. The more nihilistic part of you knows you are only searching for the swordsman's affection in Lee 's actions.  Actions that only encompass power and control, that force obedience. Lee rests his forehead head against your head so that his lips are centimeters away from your ear.
"I told you, what I would do if you left- I thought you called my bluff, honey …" 
Your mouth went dry at the sight. How- You thought- there was no time to waste musing through all the precautions you  thought you followed. Not when your husband stood in front of you disproving their effectiveness.
"What is this?" He asked, pointing over to the bed.
There is an empty duffle bag clutched tight in his left hand- your duffle bag. Its contents scattered on the bed sporadically. A couple thousand berry, a map, exactly two changes of clothes, and a log pose. Everything you needed for a seamless departure.
"I- don't know how it- I-" You were too caught off guard to lie, too unprepared to conjure up an excuse on the fly. Instead you stood fumbling like an idiot trying to figure out how Lee could have possibly just stumbled upon your stash.
"What is it?!" The chief shouted, this time throwing the duffle bag so that it landed at your feet. Before you could answer, he was already stalking toward you. Soon his hands were wrapped around your jaw, squeezing your cheeks. You'd wince in pain if the man had allowed you any wiggle room. 
"Were you trying to leave me?" he growls.
"No-" you tried to muffle through your clenched jaw. the word only coming out as a strained cry.
He looked unconvinced. That darkness you're too familiar with started to fill his eyes. It made you begin to question what in you was so naïve enough to think you could escape. Lee moves his hand from your cheek to wrap his arm firmly around your waist. His opposite arm wrapped around your shoulders.
"You want to leave me?" He snarled.
Your head shook ‘no’ so vigorously you almost forgot it was a lie. Just trying to appease the chief,  to be spared from his wrath. It did not work. Lee was already starting to walk backward , dragging your body along easily despite your protests. This time you were sure.
He was going to kill you.
Lee easily kicked open the French doors leading to the balcony. Your kicking and screaming, posing as no defense against your husband. He drags you, until your torso is pressed against the balcony railing and he is forcing your head over to look at the drop.
"This is your only way out. If you want to leave me tell me now and I'll throw you over myself.... Say it!"
"I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave." The words repeated from your mouth like an incantation. Barely made out through your cries.
It was enough to make the chief release you, letting your limp body fall to the concrete. He stared down at you with a satisfactory smile before bending at the knees. The gentleness in his touch as he swept the hair out your face is always a precursor to his cruel threats.
"I'll burn this whole village to the  ground if you try to leave again. Do you understand me?" He snarls. "Slowly, one by one I will burn every region until you return to me. I will force you to watch everyone, everything , burn because you decided to be fucking selfish." 
Another kiss is planted to your cheek  before the whisper of Lee's voice commands your attention back to him. A shiver of a sigh escaping your lips at the painful memory.
"I can rebuild their homes... would you like that?"
You nod, letting the tears stream your face. You can feel Lee's smirk against your skin when he kisses the streaks. As though he is giving his approval of your reaction, your emotion.  The whites of his fingers dig into your waist to hold you close.  His grip does not lessen when you start to sob.
This is how he loved you. Broken. Tattered. Hopeless. An ode to his power, to how much he controlled you.
"Okay, Honey, first thing in the morning."
-
Water trickles down your chin and onto the sink. You had washed your face six times trying to get the feeling of Lee's hands off you. A futile attempt. His touch would be seared onto you forever.
You trace your cheek while staring into the vanity. There's some relief in not seeing a mark. Probably have your hiatus to thank for Lee's sudden mercy on you. At least you won't be subjected to questions. Trying to conjure up on the spot cover ups come morning, as to not incriminate your husband.
A shaky breath leaves your mouth. You would sob if you weren't so convinced you deserved this. The stinging of your face, the burning of your throat, the stabbing feeling in your chest. This must all be just a fraction of what you imposed on Zoro. The guilt in you leaves little room for other emotions, especially self pity.
How dare you believe a life waited for you beyond these cities' walls. Stupid, stupid, stupid- Foolishly thinking you could escape the future both your father and husband have mapped for you.
You curse the two month departure for giving you a glimpse of how good freedom could feel. For bringing the swordsman into your life when he is so undeserving of the burden you pose. For finally giving you hope just to later rub it in your  face.
"Lady Misatori." A small voice quips from the other side of the bathroom door. A knock follows to further force your attention.
A housekeeper stands on the other side. She can barely meet your eyes. A piece of notebook paper is folded into a tight square in her fingers , she is extending it out for you to grab. It trembles in her hands, giving way to the anxiety she is failing to hide.
"Thank you." You mutter. The maid looks relieved to hear her question-free dismissal.
When you open up the note you immediately recognize the handwriting. Had seen scribbled recipes written on loose leaf paper, and napkins enough to note it as Sanji's.
'Mosshead wants to talk- garden 10 minutes .'
The woman's trembling is finally put into perspective. Fearful of what her role in sneaking around the chief could mean for her. Briefly you wonder what the cook could've said to convince the woman to do this. Had his charm really been strong enough to get the woman to forgo all her senses? Part of you wishes to relish seeing Sanji's flirting finally meet with intrigue, but the insistent need to lay eyes on Zoro replaces the thought.
It has you stumbling out of the bathroom as quickly as you could. Forever grateful that in all his control Lee had found it fitting to give you a private bathroom.
-
It is dark, and wet. Leaves crunch and crumble beneath your feet as you walk the maze-like garden. The unpaved path is bordered with mountainous rose bushes that block your view of any direction, but front and back. The red flowers bloom so fruitfully they encroach your space on the pathway. The weather has gotten considerably cooler in the night, forcing you to pull your cardigan tighter around your shoulders. Regretting that the rush had made you grab the first thing with sleeves you saw.
A sigh leaves your lips exhaustedly. Surely the cook was mistaken. There was no sign of the swordsman anywhere. Maybe he had changed his mind about wanting to talk. Decided the risk isn't worth the reward. That you aren't worth the breath-
You hit an intersection on the path, and before you have the opportunity to turn left, there is a tight grasp around your arm. The force pulls you back, nestling you into the bushes behind you as you still. Once you gain your composure and are able to open your eyes, you’re met with the swordsman.
His left hand is wrapped firmly around your right arm, his other rest in the bush beside your head. Zoro has you caged. Trapped with nowhere to run. No place to hide. No escape.
"Husband?" He fumed. "Have you just been fucking around with me?"
"Zoro..." You plead, reaching out to grasp his cheek. He does not let you. Releases his hold on you to take a step back before your fingers land on him. The look on his face seethes of betrayal.
"Answer me!" The pirate barks. You flinch at the tone of his words, your eyes shutting closed. It takes a minute to gather yourself. You have never heard Zoro's voice void of any affection.
You swallow your own tears . Shove down your discomfort to accept accountability for your actions. Even if all you want to do is hold the swordsman once more. Hear his heart thump in his chest. Hear him say he loves you.
"I should have told you. I am so sorry I hurt you Zoro. "
The pirate scoffs, clearly not satisfied with your answer. He is shaking his head in disbelief, eyes burrowing into yours.
"You lied to me. You told me you loved m-"
"I Promise Zoro, I love you. I love you so much. so much." You beseech. 
The swordsman seems even more tortured by your testament. His hands find his skull to dig his fingers into his scalp. As if trying to ground himself for only a moment at the reeling thoughts.
"Does he know that? That you love me, that you're mine?"
When you don't answer the frustration builds in the swordsman. He lets out a pained laugh that morphs into more of a choke. His expression is filled with disbelief. 
"You're not mine." He speaks as if he is speaking to himself. "You're his."
"That is who you want to spend the rest of your life with? He talks to you like shit- the dirt beneath his shoes and you smile through the whole thing. The man who thinks you're his accessory- That is the man you love?"
Zoro badgers you. Moving his tongue as piercingly swift as you're sure, he can wield his swords. 
"I do not love that man." You choke.
"Then why?" The swordsman shouts. His exclamation wakes the small birds that have chosen the garden as their resting place. The sounds of their wings flapping away from the conflict fills the air. "Y/n ... why are you doing this to me?"
There is a frailness to his voice you don't recognize. Something so breakable about the way he utters your name. In the two months you had spent with Zoro you had never seen him show this much emotion.
"Zoro, if I could stay on the beach with you forever... I would. But I can't. I have people who need me-"
"I need you!" He professes, throwing his arms in the air. 
The way that Zoro bares his scars to you , when you could not do the same in return physically pains you. You force down the tears that dare to surface at his confession. Who were you to be hurt in a situation you hand crafted? To cry in the presence of a man who held his broken heart in his hands with hopes, you would fix it.
There's an immense sadness in your restraint, how you're able to still your body though every bone in you wants to wrap around him.  Reciprocate all the comfort Zoro so willingly gives to you. But this is not the beach-
"I'm so sorry Zoro. I'm so sorry." Your eyes shift to the ground. The tears are so much harder to fight off when you can see the confusion under his saddened expression.
Zoro cups your cheeks in his hands and for a fleeting moment there is no anger. There are only kisses shared under the stars, gasps fallen onto the sand, words of endearment lost to the wind. Love. For a second Zoro stares at you and there is only love.
"I don't want apologizes- " There's a shake in his breath. " I want you to tell me why I have to watch another man touch you.  Why he gets to hold you tonight instead of me. Tell me why you keep saying you love me, but you're going home to another man. Tell me the fucking truth!"
Even in his anger you can hear the worry in the pirate's voice. It takes you by surprise. Maybe malice hasn't taken up the space of affection in Zoro's heart after all. Maybe in all his poking and prodding Lee had only brought concern out of the first mate. The sweet sentiment physically aches. You turn your head, breaking free from his grasp.
"Leave Zoro- take your crewmates and go. I'm only going to hurt you if you stay, so please- go."
"... Is he why you need the sun to feel free?"
You're caught off guard by the swordsman's questions. Don't expect to hear your words echoed from his mouth. "Free". You could almost laugh hearing the word now. Freedom? What did you know about freedom? Always a pawn for someone else's will, your own desires to be placed on a shelf and expectantly forgotten.  This castle has always been your prison.
"I'll make sure you'd feel the sun everyday. I will drag it out the sky and place it in your hands if it will make you smile. I'll never trap you. I love you. Please- don't leave me." He begs.
Your body is moving on its own again, this time manipulated by the voice of the swordsman. Unsure of what has come over you, you're reaching out for Zoro, pulling him in closer. You know that you shouldn't. Especially not here and not now. But it does not stop you from standing on your tiptoes to press your lips into his.
The intention was for a quick kiss, just one last time to feel Zoro's lips on yours, but it's difficult not to savor the moment. To not search for another life, one where you could be together, in his mouth. The same desperation is displayed in the way Zoro grasps you. Tight. One hand tangled in your hair while the other on your waist. As if he could hold you tight enough to stay. He groans in displeasure why you finally pull away from him.
"Go Zoro. I'm only going to break you."
-
The sun has risen just enough to illuminate the desolate field. The early morning is still shying away from pushing out the darkness of night completely. You woke early enough to see Lee still had not returned home. Off doing something you are sure, is none of your business. 
You took the opportunity to sneak out to what used to be the lemon grove. Tears stream your face while you wonder what pushed you out here. What exactly it is that you're hoping to find amongst the ash.
The memories of your mother you can't get back? Pieces of the wooden swing you used to sit on in the summer? Evidence it was truly necessary to leave the swordsman in your past?
It's hard to focus on all you've lost when staring at the pile of rubble that is the villagers' homes. Their whole lives destroyed at a whim. You did this to them. Had you stayed home and behaved no one, not even the swordsman, would be in this situation.
"Wanna tell me what you're looking for?"
The whisper behind you sounds so familiar. There is a part of you that does not want to turn around, thinks it's better off not knowing who the voice belongs to. A bigger part of you itches with a need to know.
"Zoro."
"Maybe I can help you find it." There's a crooked smirk on his lips.
It's involuntary, the way your heart is instantly soothed at his arrival. Something it must have learned on its own while on the beach. You have to fight not to jump into his arms. Draw him into you with the wish to feel his lips again. 
" I thought I told you to leave..." you mutter.
"You did." The pirate agrees. Zoro moves from behind you, so you no longer have to crane your neck to look at him. He reaches to take your hand in his. His thumb traces the back of your hand, his touch so soft you almost don't feel it.  
"You're still here."
"You may have authority in this village, but the only person I take orders from is Luffy." He lets out a laugh.
The sound forces your brows to furrow to the center of your face. Where was his anger? His disappointment? Why wasn't he yelling at you? The last conversation you had with the swordsman had not gone the best. This warm welcome is the farthest reception you expected to receive.
"What?" He asks, reaching out to smooth the wrinkles your frown causes. You're surprised at the way you flinch when his fingertips touch your forehead, a reaction you hadn't had in at least a month.
Had it really only taken one night with Lee to erase all your expectations of being lovingly touched?
You can see Zoro's happy exterior waiver for just a moment at your knee jerk reaction. Still he does not draw away his fingers. Just trails them down so he can stroke your cheek. Still offering you a kind smile.
"Stop Zo..."  You're taking a step away before you can give into him. Pulling your hand away to further the distance.  "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see the lemon grove..." He uses the tip of his boot to kick at a burned shingle on the ground. "So much for that."
"Oh? You made it here all on your own?" In spite of your sorrows you laugh. "You didn't get lost?"
Zoro glares at you, his eyebrows raised to his temples. You suspect he hadn't expected you to join in on his light heartedness.
"I had to ask someone in the town square..." He sheepishly admits drawing an even more obnoxious laugh for your throat.
"Why were you looking for the lemon grove?"
"You don't remember?" He asks.
Even in your best memories of the beach, you never liked sand. The way it intrusively stuck to you, creeping its way into every nook and cranny made your skin crawl, but this beach was the expectation. You loved everything about this beach.
"Tell me something else." Zoro requests. His voice was softer than before- meeker after your supposed rejection.
You were still wrapped firmly in the swordsman arms, your head on his chest. Zoro's head had returned to rest on top of yours. A brisk breeze forced you closer to Zoro in search of warmth, the thin blanket almost whisked away at the gust. The sight drew a laugh from the pirate.
"Where would you be right now if you were home?"
The only location you could definitely think of was underneath the chief's thumb, but that surely couldn't be the answer the swordsman was looking for. It was hard to think of places in your village that still brought you joy. Places that hadn't been corrupted in the transition of power from your father to Lee.
"The lemon grove." You blurted out the second it came to you. There was a cheesy grin on your face while you reminisced. A grin that is met with a full blown smile from Zoro once he sees your joy. He leaned down to plant  a kiss to your cheek, then your jaw.
"Yeah? Why is that your favorite place?" His breath brushed against your neck.
"My mom used to take me there, and we would have picnics in the summer. There's this huge swing we'd sit on. It's my favorite place in the whole world."
"All that you've seen of it?" Zoro jokes. He caught your wrist when you went to slap his chest. Bringing your hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles. He rubbed his finger back and forth over yours after planting one last kiss to your cheek.
"Maybe you can show it to me? When we get you home?"
Lee had never in the six months you'd been married bothered to visit the lemon grove. Just knew it was a sacred space for you , a memento to your mother. This was the first time you're grateful for that. That in the chief's vast kingdom there could still be a place that could be just Zoro and yours.
"I would love that Zo."
You smiled before craning your neck to plant a kiss on his lips.
"I wanted to see your favorite place." Zoro admits once he sees you remember. "I thought it might give me some insight." 
"Insight?" You parrot in confusion. 
"You're hiding something from me." Zoro states plainly, drawing your eyes to him.
"You found out I'm married, what else can I be hiding Zoro?" Your voice trembles with exhaustion.
The swordsman narrows his eyes as he looks you over. That fury, and fire previously seen in the garden is long gone . All that remains is this inquisitive stare.
"I don't know, but you are... I wish you would let me help you."
"Help me-" There is a feigned smile painted on your lips. How could a pirate of the new world be so... heartening. Surely the horrors he has seen, far exceed the small misfortunes of your life.
"Zoro. I already told you to go. "
"If you looked at me and told me you didn't mean any of it I would've left. Sailed away and tried for the rest of my life never to think of you again, but you didn't. You told me you love me-"
"I do."
Zoro plops down onto the ash filled ground. He crosses his arms against his chest, and stares out at the rubble.
"Then I'm not leaving. Until you tell me what's going on, what's actually happening, I'm not going anywhere."
The way your heart swells at his proclamation is treacherous. Allowing yourself to be swooned by actions that could very well get the both of you executed. You almost think it's sweet, if it wasn't so stupid.
"Why do you care? Zoro I hurt you, why are you still chasing me?"
"... because I meant it when I said I love you. And I know you meant it too."
"You deserve someone better than me Zoro. Someone who won't hold you back, someone who won't hurt you, someone worthy of standing next to the world's strongest swordsman."
"I don't care what you think I deserve. That's not a decision for you to make." Zoro snaps.
"Zoro... " You sigh exasperatedly at his rebuttal. "Do you really think I won't hold you back? That you will still become the world's strongest swordsman if I'm standing next to you?"
"I don't think I will become the world's strongest swordsman if you aren't standing next to me." 
There's a sharp breath forced into your lungs at his confession. How could he say that with such certainty. It has only been two months. The two of you should be able to forget each other. Move on as if none of this happened- but Zoro stands before you stating he doesn't know if his dream will come true without you. A dream he has been chasing his entire life. A dream you've only come privy to in the last 60 days. 
"Tell me you don't love me- I'll go. If you look me in my eyes right now and say it, I'll leave." He challenges.
You search for the words on your tongue, though you cannot find them. No parts of you willing, or wanting to lie to the swordsman.
"I can't."
-
Zoro has kept his promise. The strawhat crew joining you and your husband for breakfast, lunch, and now dinner going on the third day in a row. You wonder what the pirate is waiting for? A confession? An outcry for help? Don't know what actions would be satisfactory enough to get him to sail away.
In all of those days Zoro has sat in that same seat, to the right of you at every meal. Some meals he would lightly brush his knees back and forth against yours. At others he would 'accidentally' knock his napkin off the table so he could pinch your thighs. In spite of your best efforts to forget the swordsman exists, he seems all too insistent on making his presence known.
"So Luffy, when do you think you and your crew will be leaving?" Lee asks. His voice does well to mask the irritation you can pin in the twitch of his eye. "We'd love to send you all off with a ball."
You suspect Lee's urging of the Strawhats' departure correlates to his growing  suspicion of the swordsman. The chief may be many things, but naïve has never been one of them. He takes note of the way Zoro's eye never leaves you, regardless of whoever is speaking. How the swordsman just couldn't be bothered to feign interest whenever the chief commands the room. You had spent every one of these past nights disavowing your feelings for the swordsman.
"We're thinking soon- Wednesday at the latest." Nami answers before her captain has the opportunity to. He seems to wear a confused look that is soon dissipated by her scowl. 
Two days.
Although you had trained yourself not to go looking for the swordsman, your eyes immediately fall onto him at the navigator's words. Your concern is met with raised bows, almost a silent challenge from the pirate.
Did he expect you to profess your love there at the dinner table? To look at your husband and gloat in the love you've been able to find? Neither are options being the choice was not yours. Lee has done a great job in ensuring you did not have any choices.
"Oh, I'll get the staff on preparations immediately. We will hold the ball tomorrow." Lee's smile is filled with pleasure.
His wife had returned home, and soon the guests he had been performing for would be on their way. Everything is on the road to being back to normal. Exactly how you remembered it. The thought sends a shiver down your body.
"Maybe y/n can take us to the shop to find a dress?" Robin suggests.
Lee is apprehensive about letting you go. Obvious from the way his smile falters at the archeologists suggestion. But he never could deny a pretty woman. Begrudgingly he agrees.
************************************************************************
A/N: Part three is in the works , I'm hoping to not go more than a week between chapters, but please don't hold me to that. The ADHD will make me a liar. Thank you to all the beautiful people who care about my work, and have so many kind words.
Tag List: @turtletaubwrites @jinjen @sanzu-clinic @heyauntieeee @honeybuzzzzzz @nothing-but-brass
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mono-moonchilds · 9 months
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For Glory │KNJ
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⤑ pairing: underground boxer!namjoon x fem!reader
⤑ genre: angst!!, smut, some fluff ig but also not really but yes??
⤑ rating:explicit (18+)
⤑ word count: 3.2k
⤑ summary: A fight to the death. No rules, no refs, and nowhere to run.
⤑ warnings: descriptive depiction of boxing, illusions of death, mentions of a stabbing, ig just violence in general fr, arguments, anyways on to the smut part of these warnings, fingering, emotional sex, missionary, riding, namjoon has a buzz cut, feel free to let me know if I missed anything but I think that's all folks
⤑ A/N: I watched Bloodhounds a few weeks then just had to make a boxing fic because I loved that show so much. hot men + fighting = sign me up.
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The room was full to capacity, nothing but sweaty drunks that were hollering over each other while letting out rowdy cheers filling the place. Despite it all, it felt like you could hear everything. Every punch, every kick- each blow that landed on his bruised skin rang a thousand times in your ears. The fight had only been going on for fifteen minutes —probably less— but it felt like much longer. Both of their bodies already so badly beaten —bright red blood spewing from their wounds and covering the once pristine mat.
This was your first fight and it showed. Your hands clenching the worn wooden benches, breath hitching at every movement. You usually didn’t come to these events, and you didn’t see how anyone could. They were barbaric and rough -no gloves, no rules, and definitely no safety measures. They couldn’t use weapons but that was about it. Everything else was free game and however the match ended was how it ended.
Whether it was in a K.O. or stone-cold murder was all up to the victor.
‘Fight To The Death’ was what they called it. A sixteen-by-sixteen ring, surrounded by wired, ceiling-high fences, and absolutely no referees. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and nowhere to escape. Neither party could call a time-out either. Once they were in the ring they were stuck there until the horn blew signaling the match was over.
“Fuck!” You jumped up from your seat. That was a mean one. The punch knocked Namjoon straight on his back allowing the other to climb on top. Luckily Namjoon was able to bring his arms up and get into a protective huddle, but it was still barely any help. Lee Do Yoon was evil, and his hits were ruthless. Even in the regular matches, he had a reputation for playing dirty.
This wasn’t even supposed to be his fight. For two years Namjoon had been out —he owned a gym and had a regular life that didn’t involve the underground fighting scene. For two beautiful years, you were able to see your boyfriend come home the way he left. No bruises, no busted lips. Just a clean face and a happy smile.
All of you had told Jungkook to lie low. That bragging and arguing with The Vipers was something he did not want to do. Despite your efforts to keep out this scene and the business that went along with it even you knew that Do Yoon and his little gang were nothing to mess with. Of course, Jungkook didn’t listen. When did he ever?
The night of your anniversary was when you got the call. You and Namjoon were on your way home from dinner when his phone rang.
Jungkook had been stabbed. They did him over three different times before leaving him for dead in the middle of an alley. Thankfully Jungkook had been relatively fine, but he was in absolutely no shape to fight. He could’ve pulled out but all of them had way too much vengeance to let the incident go unchecked, letting The Vipers have another by default victory. The other man had done this before and the only reason none of them ever got him back was they were all too consumed with their grief.
Hoseok had offered to fight in Jungkook’s place and so had Taehyung but either of them getting in that ring with Lee Do Yoon would’ve been like signing their death note. It’d been years since their last fight. And even though both of them were still in amazing shape they also had way too many injuries to even stand a chance of winning.
Of course, Namjoon never told you his plan though. He kept quiet, carefully dodging your suspicious questions until tonight.
“It’s okay- he’s okay. Namjoon’s got this,” Jungkook tried to comfort wrapping his arm around you, but you shook him off sending a mean glare.
You knew it was unfair to still be angry with him, but you couldn’t help. Sometimes you just wanted Jungkook to grow up —for him to mature and think with his head. Yeah, he knew how to step but he also needed to know when to fall the fuck back. He was twenty-five and everyone was still cleaning up his messes as if he were a kid.
“Joon!” You screamed out your hands banging against the gate. Instead of grabbing your boyfriend’s attention, you grabbed Do Yoon’s. A bloody grin filling his snake-like features as he turned towards you.
“Come on Joon—” he cooed mockingly, “you gone let your girl stand there and just watch you get put down like an animal? I thought you were supposed to be something. That’s what they told me.” Do Yoon got up from on top of him swinging his leg back hard before pushing it forward kicking Namjoon straight in the side. It sent all the air out of his body making Namjoon curl into a ball as he let out a loud cry. “Your nothing,” Do Yoon hacked a bloody lob right onto his face. “Just a washed-up piece of shit.”
Do Yoon yanked his head back. Namjoon had no time to react before the other man's hard fist clocked him dead in the face six times before dropping him back on the mat. Even though the match wasn’t over Do Yoon jumped around the ring as if he’d already won the crowd hyping him up like the depraved monster he was.
“Please,” You begged. Namjoon was still down. He kept trying to get up, but his body was wobbly and failing him.
Do Yoon crouched down in front of you. His tongue dragged against the nasty wire fence as he licked it. “Once I’m done imma have a nice time with you—” he reached down groping his flaccid dick in his shorts. “me and my boys. We’re going to-”
Before he can finish the sentence Do Yoon’s face is smashed against the fence before being dragged back. Namjoon is the one on top now. His punches unrelenting as he attacks every part of the man underneath his body. For once you understood how everyone else in the arena felt. A loud cheer came from the depths of your soul as you threw your arms up. Do Yoon was able to get a few good punches in, but it wasn’t enough, newfound energy filling Namjoon’s entire being.
It should have terrified you. The way Namjoon looked -his eyes cold and distant but it didn’t.
With one last heavy punch the match was over, Do Yoon’s arms falling flat to his side. For once the audience was quiet. Everyone was waiting with bated breath to see if he would get up. Strings of swearing erupted from his goons, their hands shaking the cage wall as they yelled at him. It was too late though.
The loud countdown over the speaker started.
Ten!
Nine!
Eight!
Seven!
Six!
Five!
Four!
Three!
Two!
One!
The horn blared.
“The winner of this year's Fight to The Death: Kiiim NaaamJOON!”
As soon as the gate rolled open you were gone. Jumping up you wrap your legs around Namjoon’s waist, his strong arms lifting you into the air. The crowd fickle as ever rang out in cheers, shouting and chanting Namjoon’s praises. Your boyfriend took it all in, a loud roar erupting from his throat as he bounced up and down.
It was over.
It was all finally over.
Namjoon walked out of the venue with a limp and somewhat clean face. Though he was still marred with bruises and cuts, Seokjin had managed to patch him up well. Before the two of you got into the car, he called over Jungkook handing him one of the leather briefcases. With a shake of his head, the younger immediately declined, pushing it away.
“Take it,” Namjoon pressed shoving it into his chest. “Pay your debts and stay out of trouble.”
“I’m sorry Hyung,” Jungkook broke down into tears. “I’m so sorry,” He repeated looking at you this time. “I will. I promise I will.”
“I know,” Namjoon said pulling Jungkook into a hug. “It’s over. don’t think about it too much.”
Throughout all his goodbyes Namjoon kept a stoic face. It was only when the two of you crawled into the backseat of Hoseok’s car that he let out a loud sob. Hoseok looked back at him through the rear-view mirror but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Reaching over you grabbed his hand and leaned over resting your head on his shoulder.
“I did it. I fucking did.” Namjoon whispered but you knew he wasn’t talking to you. He wasn’t talking to either of you. Instead, his focus was on the golden boxing glove chain that was around his neck.
Yoongi’s old necklace.
When the two of you entered your shared apartment the story of what had gone down just hours before was all over the place. The space is messy littered with broken objects that you’d thrown around in a fit. Before you could finish making your way over to the kitchen to grab the broom Namjoon grabbed your wrist stopping you.
“We’ll clean it up tomorrow. Come on,”
Sitting down on the bed Namjoon pulled you a top of him. Your legs spread on either side of his body. “Didn’t think you would come,” 
“Called Jimin last minute. He rushed me over.”
“How come?”
You shrugged sucking in a sniffle. “I just couldn’t bear the thought of you being in that ring thinking all that shit I said was true. I didn’t mean it Joon. I didn’t mean any of it.”
Namjoon, as understanding as ever nodded his head. “Baby I know you didn’t. I know you were just angry and you had every right to be.” That made you cry. You never would understand what you’d done in life to be able to call someone like Namjoon yours.
Gingerly grabbing your brown cheeks between his palms, Namjoon pulled you in for a kiss. The remnants of dried metallic blood danced on your tongue. It reminded you of your first kiss. How the scars made his lips rough and how swollen they felt against yours. You should’ve been used to this but for some reason, it all felt so foreign. Haven got so used to your new normal you’d completely pushed down the old one.
The staying up to the wee hours of the morning wondering if he was going to be okay, sometimes having to patch him up or force him to go to the hospital when things looked too bad.
“Come on,” Namjoon hushed pulling you back in. “Stay with me,”
Flipping the two of you over he laid you down on your back. His hands instantly falling to the hem of your leggings as he pulled the tight fabric off of you. Namjoon’s lips found yours once again, a soft gasp-like breath leaving your mouth as you felt the outline of his hardening cock pressing against your lower belly. Freeing you from the confines of his hoodie Namjoon latched onto your neck, his mouth sucking hard at the exposed skin as his fingers slowly trailed down your stomach and to the place you needed him most.
It was crazy. How with just a mere touch from him you were soaked. Panties clinging desperately to your sodden pussy. Letting out a low chuckle Namjoon pulled his fingers from your panties showing you the slick digits. “Thought you said you hated me?”
Letting out a whine you rolled your eyes. “Please,” You quietly begged. You knew Namjoon was just trying to make light- show you in his own little way that he wasn’t mad at you, but you couldn’t do it tonight. You didn’t want to relive any of the shit you’d said to him.
Sliding from off of you Namjoon laid down on his side while pulling your thigh up onto his hip so that now the two of you were laying down on the bed facing each other. Pushing his hand back between your bodies his fingers made their way back into your panties- the calloused tips rubbing against your sensitive clit.
One by one he pushed his middle and ring finger into your needy hole. Forcing another low gasp from your mouth as you leaned forward burying your face into the crook of his neck. Namjoon kept a slow pace. Dragging his fingers in and out, ever so slightly curving the digits to rub them against that little spot that always made you lose it.
“You know I love you,” Namjoon breathed against your neck. You nodded. “I was always gonna come back to you. Nothing could keep me away from you.”
Your body writhes, your right hand flying up wanting to tangle into Namjoon’s dark locks but there was nothing there. Just like it was when you’d first met him his hair was once again completely buzzed leaving him with practically little to nothing. So instead, you settle for grasping at the back of his neck, practically fucking yourself onto the digits, your hips having a mind of their own as they rolled and jerked.
You wanted nothing more than to say something back, tell Namjoon how much you loved him too but you couldn’t. The pleasure over taking your body so much that the only thing you could do was let out low swears followed by the call of his name. It always embarrassed you how just with a few touches Namjoon could have you speechless and clinging to his body in desperation.
You could hear the wetness. Your slick undoubtedly leaving the bed sheets along with your inner thighs a mess. “Look at me,” Namjoon mumbled a faint smile filling his lips as you followed his command. “You know I like looking at you when you cum.”
Namjoon’s fingers sped up. The squelches from your pussy fill the quiet room. “Shit,” You swore. That familiar feeling rising up in your lower belly. You could feel your legs tightening up, the heel of your foot pressing into the back of Namjoon's calf.
“That’s right. Let go for me baby,” You don’t need to be told twice. Your vision crossing a little as your body shudders against his. “There we go. Always so pretty. My pretty baby,” Namjoon encourages his fingers not letting up even for a moment as he fucks you through your orgasm. It feels like forever before he finally pulls away, shoving the slick digits into his mouth.
Pulling away for just a moment Namjoon sits up and pulls his own hoodie off. Even though you know it's against your better interest you can’t help but look. His bare chest was exposed showing all of the bruises that littered his once clear skin. They were everywhere. There wasn’t a bare piece of skin that didn’t have Do Yoon’s dirty prints on it. “nuh uh—” Namjoon murmurs tilting your chin up. “Don’t look at that. Look at me. Just stay here with me,” Kissing your tears away Namjoon rolled the two of you over so that he was back on top of you. In one swift movement, he pulled down his gym shorts and boxers allowing his thick cock to spring free from its previous confinements.
Grabbing the length, Namjoon began to pump it, smearing the creamy white beads that’d spurted from the tip into the rest of the skin. “Joon,” You breathed needily, your cunt throbbing desperately in your panties. Even though your boyfriend just shushed you he didn’t tease much longer, the head of his cock pressing into your pussy slowly splitting you open.
Despite Namjoon’s thrusts being slow they were hard. Each push knocking the wind out of you as you begged for more. Dipping his head down Namjoon wrapped his full lips around your brown nipple suckling the pebble into his mouth.
“Right there,” You moaned, eyes fluttering closed at the overwhelming sensations that racked through your body. Letting go of your nipple Namjoon’s face falls onto your shoulder, low grunts and groans falling from his lips with every thrust.
“Fucking love you,” Namjoon whispers so low that you weren’t even sure he’d meant to say it out loud. Wrapping your legs around his lower back, you pull him deeper into you, making a low hiss fall from Namjoon’s mouth as you accidentally press into a bruise.
“’m sorry,” you slur out.
“S’okay,” He grumbles kissing your collar blade, his wet tongue dragging across the skin. Pulling away Namjoon looked down at you, a small smile filling his face as he stared. Even though he didn’t say anything you knew exactly what he was feeling because you felt the same. The happiness. The relief. Although Namjoon had given promises of winning before he left the two of you both knew very well the fight could’ve gone either way.
Gradually his eyes drifted downward, first falling on your bouncing breast but then inevitably ending on your belly causing tears to fill his eyes. This time you pull him out of it, your hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him down for a kiss. “Lemme ride you,” you say.
With a nod of his head, Namjoon changed positions causing you to let out a lower whimper. He always felt so fucking deep in this position, like his cock was right in your stomach. “Shit—” Namjoon’s eyes got wide. “do you think we’re gonna—”
“Joon—” You cut him off with a laugh already knowing what he was about to ask. “You’re big but you're not that damn big. Just give me a minute.” You finish a moan tumbling for your lips as you roll your hips just a bit to help get used to the stretch.
Instead of placing your hands on his chest you lean back grasping his thighs, eyes fluttering close as you rock back and forth. Namjoon’s hands found purchase on your waist helping you grind a little bit faster, his hips rising a little to match your movements. Lifting yourself up you drop back down, the loud sound of skin slapping together filling the room as you repeat the movements.
“Don’t think I gonna last—” Namjoon chokes out. “feel too fucking good.”
You nod your head in agreement, already feeling the sensation building. “Just a lil faster baby.” Namjoon whimpers. “I need a little more,”
As you follow his directions, Namjoon’s head falls back. His lips forming into a ‘o’ as his eyebrows furrow together. He was almost there and so were you. Reaching down you rub fast circles onto your clit, your body shaking as your orgasm hits you hard. It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to follow, a loud groan escaping him as his cum paints your inner walls white.
The two of you pant, barely allowing the other to catch a breath before you find your lips on each other once again. Carefully you slide off him and fall to the side. Wrapping his arms back around you Namjoon pulls you in once more. His hand finds rest on your belly rubbing at the barely there bump as his eyes flutter close.
“Don’t know what I would do without you,” You whisper.
“And I don’t want to find out.”
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⤑ A/N: I really loved writing this couple and I kinda wanna write the prequel to how they met and also Jungkook and Yoongi's story. I hope you guys enjoyed it!
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heartpascal · 9 months
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forgive the sea
▹— joel miller x platonic!reader
▹— summary: after a trip into the outside world, you come back different.
▹— a/n: i don’t really like how this ended HOWEVER it is a fic and it was written by me and that is positive, no matter what state the writing is in!! go easy on me pls it’s been a rough few weeks <3
▹— warnings: references to suicidal ideation, kinda (not really sure if that’s what it is but to be safe), unspecified trauma, loss of childhood (ish?), mention of getting old/ losing memory, bottling up of emotions, angst, comfort?
▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa @sunflowersdrop (pedro)
masterlist
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Joel has plenty of memories from the years he has shared with you, plenty of memories depicting the way you grew over the years. In each of them, he cements the image of that spark in your eyes into his head, in fear of his age causing him to deteriorate, corrupting the memories.
He holds the memories close, and he holds you closer, as if he could stop the growing distance between the two of you by holding on tighter.
But the fact of it was that you were growing up. You weren’t the same kid Joel had taken under his wing all those years ago. And while that wasn’t entirely a bad thing, with you having shed the fearful nature you used to have, as well as the paranoia and distrust, it did mean you had lost the small amount of childishness you had retained back then.
There were days when life felt so bleak for Joel, days where all he could think of was his daughter, where the world just didn’t seem worth living in, and then there was you. Like a burst of light in a dark world, you had managed to brighten Joel’s thoughts with what, to you, had been a measly joke. A passing comment. A grin, maybe.
It would be far too much for Joel to hold an expectation of you, in that sense. He couldn’t imagine the kind of weight it would carry if he had told you about what you meant for him, what you helped him through, unknowingly.
Despite all of that, there was an involuntary reaction in Joel now, one in which he seemingly just brightened around you. As if your mere presence could relieve the weight of the world he held on his shoulders. Somehow, you had allowed Joel to do something he hadn’t done for a long time prior to meeting you; you allowed him to grow. Rather than withering away in his grief, in his dark world, with no apparent purpose, he grew with you.
Where you had become more confident, more assured, Joel had become more open. He had acknowledged his daughter’s life, rather than focusing only on her death. He had found a reason to live, to thrive, rather than survive another day.
Joel didn’t quite realise just how much he relied on you, nor how much you relied on him. He also didn’t know how much you protected him from, with his best interests at heart.
It’s why, when you returned home one night, after venturing outside of the wall, he didn’t entirely know something was wrong. It wasn’t unusual for you to be withdrawn after facing the horrors of the outside world, so your behaviour, initially, seemed normal. Each time you returned after you had started going out without Joel beside you, you behaved the same way.
He passed it off as that, alongside the late hour, and your visible exhaustion. Joel knew himself just how much surviving could take out of you, especially when you were as sleep-deprived as you had been upon leaving.
But as the days passed by, Joel grew more concerned.
While it had been a while since you had begun to grow out of that slither of childhood innocence — if you could call it that — which had remained, something about you seemed… off.
Joel had expressed as much on more than one occasion, but you shut him down each time, with a “I’m fine, Joel, really.” Acting as if he was just some sort of overly worried parent, as if he was hovering.
The two of you had never explicitly stated the shape your relationship had taken, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that Joel saw you as his kid. And, Joel hoped, you reciprocated that. He could remember, all those years ago, how much his Sarah had protested to his helicopter-parent nature, when she was young. He had grown out of it, but perhaps, in the presence of the apocalypse, Joel had fallen back into old habits.
When nothing changed after weeks of your strange behaviour, Joel was certain that it wasn’t just his caution. How could it be? Sure, you had been growing slightly distant from him over the weeks — months? — before that trip, but it had never been like this.
It had never been anger filling the space between you, or irritation, or any other form of emotion. It had just been space. Growth.
Now, Joel was growing worried that what was once a familial bond was cracking, fracturing, into pieces. He wasn’t sure just how many times the two of you could pick each other up, and put each other back together again. Just how much strain could the two of you take? How much was too much?
But your weeks of odd behaviour were quickly turning into months, the time flashing before Joel so fast that he was sure that he had been missing it. He may have been a carpenter in his past life, but he was becoming nervous that fixing your bond wouldn’t be as simple as fixing some wood.
“You gotta talk to me, kiddo, what’s goin’ on with you?” He asked, one night, when you made to leave the room after being in it for no more than twenty minutes. “Something’s wrong, now you just tell me what, and I’ll do my best to fix it.” Joel had continued, in your silence. It had apparently been the wrong thing to say, as you snapped at him.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Joel. I’m fine.” Your voice had been crackling along the edges, something staticky in your sudden burst of anger. Really, though, it had only been confirmation that something was wrong.
Joel was starting to realise that you had no intention of opening up to him, not this time. And it seemed that the more insistent he became, the more closed off you were. He was almost at a loss. What was he meant to do? He didn’t know where the boundaries of your unspecified familial relationship lied. At the end of the day, Joel wasn’t your dad. At any moment, you could choose to leave, and Joel would lose another child, except this one was never really his.
Loving someone in the apocalypse was something that remained unspoken, and that much was true for the two of you. So how could he tell you, how could he put to words, his concern? How could he explain that it grew from a place of love, of care? It seemed like an impossible task, constantly looming in the cracks of your bond.
You could see the battle he was going through, and you were fully aware that it was your fault. But what could you do? The problem wasn’t him, not exactly, it was you. After everything, you just couldn’t be who you were sure he needed you to be.
These last few years that you had spent with him, you had been aware of the ways in which you helped him. After all, you had lost your naivety long before you even met Joel Miller, so it wasn’t hard to notice the way he opened up, the way you seemingly healed some long-damaged part of him. He became scarred, rather than wounded.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to pretend that you were the same person that you had been back then, and a part of you just… resented yourself for it. Logically, you knew that Joel valued you, not what you had done for him, but that didn’t change the way you felt.
How could you tell him that? How could you voice to this man, the closest thing to a father you had, that you couldn’t be the child he had known? How could you explain that you had changed, that the apocalypse had wounded and scarred you?
Joel had a tendency to blame himself, and this was something you just didn’t want him to take responsibility for.
So, you continued on. You spent time putting as much physical space between you and Joel as you could manage, while also trying to remain in the safe environment he provided. But no matter how far away you got, it never seemed to match the cavernous distance you had created in the bond you shared with him.
And you could see just how much it was eating him up, with no explanation for your behaviour.
But you just couldn’t allow yourself to admit to him that you were changed. That you could never return to the version he had known you as. And that was eating you up, leaving you with a gaping hole in your chest, an ache of tears in your throat. The space in your chest was only being filled with your guilt, which grew heavier despite you knowing it wasn’t your fault that you had changed.
There was a breaking point.
There always is, isn’t there?
And yours, for this, was when you came home one day to Joel sat on the old couch, head in his hands.
He practically jumped to his feet when he heard your footsteps on the rotting floorboards, ones which he’d promised to fix before they broke. He said your name, sighing with relief as you smiled tightly at him in greeting.
“Thank the lord you’re alright,” Joel said, shaking his head before crossing the room and all but pulling you into his arms as the floorboards creaked beneath his weight. “You had me worried there, kid, where have you been?” He asked, holding on to you tightly.
Joel certainly wasn’t expecting his tight hold to result in you crumbling in his arms, but he did his best to hold you together nonetheless. There were tears bursting from your eyes, pushing past the lump in your throat that you had been swallowing down for months, now.
The past few days had been particularly hard for you, and you hadn’t even realised that night had fallen, stretching into the early hours of the next day by the time you got home. You hadn’t been expecting Joel to be waiting for you, and the guilt of him worrying over you had crashed down on you so suddenly that the added weight on top of everything else had you collapsing.
He held on to you tighter, hand squeezing gently at the back of your head as he murmured. “You’re alright, you’re alright.” Joel repeated it like some sort of mantra, like if he said it aloud enough times, it’d be true. “Please, tell me what’s going on with you. You gotta let me help you, kiddo, please.”
It wasn’t as if Joel missed his manners often, so you had heard him say the pleasantries more than a few times, but for a reason you couldn’t explain, it just broke you. Never did he sound so… pleading. So helpless, perhaps.
“Joel—” It was like your voice was stuck in your throat, crowded underneath the weight of everything you had been bottling up. Your inability to speak only made you cry harder, and you did your best not to think of how many tears were seeping into the material of Joel’s worn flannel.
“Shh, I’ve got you, kiddo, I’ve got you.” He said, remaining steady in his hold on you, able to keep you upright despite the sudden weakness in your knees, the urge to just collapse to the ground and weep.
You gripped the flannel between your fingers, squeezing it so tightly you should’ve worried about the seams tearing. “I’m—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You garbled out, between sobs that tore through your vocal cords, reducing your voice to a barely comprehensible, hoarse mess. You repeated the apologies, in hopes that Joel would forgive you for something he had never even been upset over.
“You got nothing to apologise for, you hear me?” Joel said, confidently, despite not even knowing what it was you were apologising for. Still, he seemed certain of his words, like nothing you could do would possibly warrant an apology in his eyes.
You shook your head, forehead against his chest, and gripped tighter, as if that would stop him leaving following your confession. “No, Joel, I do, I—” You sucked in a few deep breaths, trying to suppress the way your diaphragm was starting to spasm under your laboured breathing. “I—I can’t be the kid you want me to be, I can’t, and I’m just so—so sorry.” You fought to get out, trying to stop the tears from streaming down your face.
Joel stilled then, his mindless motion of rubbing a hand up and down your back pausing suddenly, though his grip never faltered.
“‘The kid I want you to be’?” Joel repeated, sounding almost confused, his chin digging in to the side of your head as he pressed you closer. “I don’t want you to be anybody but you, you got that?”
It wasn’t fair of you to be frustrated with his response, but you were. How could you not be? Joel didn’t even seem to know that you had realised how and why he relied on you. He didn’t know that you knew he needed you to be a certain person, a person that you weren’t, any longer.
“No, you don’t get it!” You insisted, pulling away from his hug for the first time since he’d started it. You keep him at arms length, a hand raised between you as the other wipes the tears and snot from your face. “I can’t be that—that kid, the one I used to be.”
Joel’s face falls as if he’s having some sort of realisation at your words, one which you take in a negative light, as if it was confirmation of every bad thought and image you’d had of his reaction.
“I just can’t do it anymore, Joel, and I know it’s not fair to you, but I—” You continued, before he cut you off with a furrowed brow, his slightly confused and awfully stern expression just causing more tears to spring to your eyes, which were already stinging.
“‘Not fair to me’, kid,” Joel sighed, seemingly dumbfounded by the words he’s quoting back to you, and the nickname which he had used for you since the first day you had met him only served to make you more upset. “Why do you think I need you to be that same kid, huh?”
His hands were held out, his expression open, and the only thing he was waiting on was you. For you to be ready, for you to go to him when you finally were. He just hoped he wouldn’t be waiting too long.
Your hands dropped to your sides, where the clutch the bottom of your shirt just for something to hold on to. “Joel,” You said, talking to him as if you didn’t know why he wasn’t understanding. “I—I know that I helped you, that I cheered you up, or something, back then. That me, being that kid, was what helped us get to this.” As if it was possible, Joel’s expression fell further, crumpled, even. “And I just don’t want to disappoint you, or—or ruin everything, or make you regret taking me in. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep me, if you don’t want me, because I’m not a kid anymore.”
And there it was, everything out in the open, placed into his outstretched palms.
Palms which reach for you, despite your confession, despite you giving him that out now that you couldn’t be what he needed. You, despite everything in you screaming otherwise, reach back to him, and you hold on to his hand as if it’s everything tethering you to the world.
“I am sorry,” Joel said, surprising you, and he released your hand only to hold on to the sides of your face, a frown marring his lips. “That I ever made you feel like this. You being a kid was never what made my life worth living again, it was you being my kid.” His thumbs wiped away the tears streaming from your eyes at his words. “You listen to me, now. That has not changed, that will never change. You could never disappoint me, not like this. And as long as you’ll let me, I’ll try not to disappoint you, either.”
If your lips were trembling as he spoke, he gave no indication, nor did he make a comment when you all but flung yourself towards him. There’s something almost… warming about his acceptance, something which makes that cold, empty feeling of guilt in your chest boil over, evaporating through the sobs that left your mouth.
Joel holds you tighter, squeezing so firmly that all those cracks seem to seal back together, leaving only the scarred remains. Tender, but not painful. Even when your heart clenches, trying to refuse what was right in front of you, Joel’s firm hands stop you from overthinking.
Despite all your words, your confession, Joel thinks that you, here, crying in his arms, showing more vulnerability than you ever had in the time he had known you, makes you the very child of his that you didn’t believe yourself to be. Because this was familiar, Joel knew this feeling. He knew that the way his chest clenched tightly wasn’t because of what you were saying, but the pain you had been in, the wounds you had been hiding.
“You’re sure?” You asked, through shuddering breaths, eyes squeezed shut and hands gripping Joel as if whatever answer he gave wouldn’t matter, as if you were never letting go.
“I’m sure, kiddo.” Joel answered, deciding that here, in this moment, you were his child. Openly, without uncertainty. And he was sure that no matter how much older he got, no matter how much his other memories deteriorated, he would remember this moment. Because this was, to him, at an equal level of importance in his life as the moment his Sarah was born. Those memories, the ones of his children being his, at last, would never lose clarity, would never rot.
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buckybarnesb-tch · 6 months
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A Failed Escape -Elijah M.
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Warning: This fic depicts an abusive relationship and Non/Dub Con as well as eluding to threats of suicide, if you aren’t comfortable with or are triggered by these things than please do not read any further. This is a very Yandere!Elijah portrayed from the same Police!Elijah and Doctor!Klaus universe as I’ve written before. I hope I have done well in the request that was sent in, I don’t usually write Elijah like this.Smut ⚠️ Dead Dove:Do Not Eat!
For @moonlight-melanin I sincerely hope it is everything you wanted it to be🩷
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Y/n didn’t believe him when he told her how far from any help they were, she had only tried to escape once and it was a massive failure…not to mention traumatic.
The trees scratched at my flesh painfully as I ran through the dense woods, trying to find a road, a house, any kind of civilization to get me away from him.
I had trusted Elijah. He had made me feel safe and protected, and then he locked me away and betrayed my trust, ensuring that I would be his forever. I love Elijah, despite everything he has done I’m still in love with him, and I hate myself for it.
I had been running for hours at this point and still not found anything but trees, exhausting myself and eventually collapsing against a large oak tree. I tried to catch my breath as my muscles aches and my thighs burned, exhaustion taking hold of me quickly and pushing me to rest my eyes for a moment…just a moment.
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Waking up was disorienting. My body still hurt but I was laid on something comfortable when suddenly I felt a sting on my leg causing me to flinch and open my eyes.
‘Lay back down Y/n. I’m almost finished with these cuts.’ My blood ran cold as I heard his voice, looking down and seeing Elijah was cleaning the blood from my legs, the thorn bushes doing more damage than I thought. ‘Did you really think you would get away?’ He tossed the first aid kit aside and looked at me, waiting for an answer but all I could do was stutter. ‘I warned you, you wouldn’t find anything out there. I did you a favor telling you that, I didn’t want you to get hurt and look at you now. The closest person is 10 miles away and that’s if you so happened to choose the right direction, which of course you didn’t…is it that terrible here?’ He asked, his eyes cold and hard as he looked down at me.
‘N-no…you’ve been good to me.’ I stated, trying to calm him down.
‘And yet you ran away. You ran through the woods while I wasn’t home like you were desperate to escape me. I saved you, I’ve taken care of you, given you better than that idiot ever did or could and you do this?!’
‘Elijah, I’m sorry. I…I got scared when you-you said I couldn’t leave, I shouldn’t have-‘
‘But You Did! You Left Me!’ He shouted and I tried to pull my legs to my chest, his hand gripping my calf so tightly it felt like the bone would snap. ‘I love you! You’re my everything! My life, and you ran away-‘
‘I love you too, I-‘ all of a sudden his hand was wrapped around my throat and gripping it tight, cutting off my ability to breathe which left me gasping and clawing at his hand.
‘Don’t you lie to me! You left me! You abandoned me! I gave you everything, I risked my job helping you and bringing you here, saved you from ruining your whole life and gave you someone who was here for you! Worshipped the ground you walked on, And You Left Me!’ He was now leaning over me as he held my throat and with the last bit of strength I had I clutched into his shirt and tugged at it pathetically, watching as his eyes widened and he looked down at his hand, releasing me and allowing oxygen to flow into my lungs. I gasped deeply, painfully as I took in air and felt my throat still burn and ache in agony from his strong grip. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry.’ I was shocked as he said this, staring at him in silence. He had just choked me within an inch of my life and he was apologizing? ‘I’m so sorry Bunny, oh baby!’ He suddenly hugged me around my waist, head on my stomach as he held me firmly and apologized over and over again. Eventually I reached down, running my fingers through his hair to calm him, afraid of him getting worked up again.
‘I’m okay.’ I told him, my voice strained and he looked up at me with soft eyes. ‘I’m sorry too-‘
‘No. No baby, it’s okay. I know I scared you when I told you that you can’t leave I just…I love you so much. I need you all to myself, and you make such bad choices on your own that I need to protect you. I never should have hurt you. Please forgive me?’ He begged, moving to press his lips to mine sweetly and while I should have been repulsed by it, there were butterflies in my tummy like every time Elijah kisses me so sweetly. ‘I can make it up to you, I can make you feel better. I promise.’ He pressed his lips to mine again and his needy attitude was different than ever before. His hands pulled my shirt off before connecting our lips again and trailing his lips down my jaw before kissing my throat tenderly. He had never been this gentle before and I wasn’t sure what to do with it, so startled I couldn’t find it in me to object to anything he was doing. As he unclipped my bra and tossed it to the side he kissed down my collarbone and over my breasts. ‘So perfect, my beautiful girl.’ I gasped as he sucked one of my nipples between his lips and couldn’t hold in my moan at the feeling. He had always been rough and desperate with my breasts but his gentle treatment was doing amazing things to me, all while he pulled my shorts and panties down my legs carefully, not wanting to hurt any of the cuts on my skin. He kissed down my stomach, pushing my legs apart to make room for him before kissing my clit several times, sending jolts of pleasure up my spine as he did.
‘Oh God!’ I screamed as his lips sucked my clit hard, tongue coming out to play with it roughly and I couldn’t keep my hips still as he did, but unlike ever before he didn’t stop them, allowing me to grind against his mouth desperately. ‘Ah! So close! Please?! Eli, please!’ He pulled back suddenly, lifting me up and causing me to squeal, hauling me up and laying back on the pillows as my knees settled next to his head.
‘Take what you need Bunny, sit on my face until you can’t take it anymore.’ His tongue peeked out again, teasing my clit and prompting me to grab ahold of the headboard and grind my pussy down against his mouth. He moaned, sending a vibrating feeling through my clit, the fingers of my right hand finding his hair and holding his head still as I ground my hips down and felt that tight feeling in my belly snap.
‘Oh fuck! Yes! So good! Don’t stop, please?’ He didn’t move, not pulling back for air even once as he shoved his tongue deep into my cunt and fucked me with it. His nose was rubbing against my clit as he did and I couldn’t help riding his mouth roughly as I climbed so high so fast, being thrown into a second orgasm less than a minute after the first. Elijah was seemingly desperate, trying to continue sucking on my clit again when I pulled away, the second orgasm making me too sensitive to continue immediately and I crawled back down to lean against him and see his wet mouth. ‘That was amazing…you’ve never done that before.’
‘I want to make you feel good baby, I only ever want to make you feel good. I hate it when you make me hurt you.’ I was startled by that as he grabbed his shirt and wiped his face clean, that was when he took hold of my hips and pulled me down farther, having removed his pants and pushing himself into me, stretching me deliciously but still uncomfortably as I was so sensitive. ‘I’m gonna make you feel so good baby!’ He pulled back and shoved himself into me again before beginning to move my hips with his hands and making me ride him.
‘Oh God! So Good! Don’t stop Eli! Please don’t stop?!’ I begged as he continued thrusting up into me at a steady pace, picking up speed as my third orgasm teetered just on the edge.
‘Never! Never gonna stop Baby, I’m all yours, forever. You know that right?’ He asked, almost whining as he forced me to look down into his eyes. They were soft and desperate but there was still something dark, deep inside of them that was always there. ‘You know how much I love you, don’t you? More than that boy ever did or could, all he did was hurt you, get you in trouble, the kind of trouble that would have ruined you if I wasn’t there-Fuck-I love you so much Bunny…you-you love me too…don’t you?’ The worry and fear in his eyes was enough to make me want to be sick.
‘Yes! Yes Elijah! Love you so much!’ His cock was pounding into me almost painfully hard at this point and I was so close to the edge I would have signed my soul to Satan if he just let me cum!
‘You won’t leave me again…Promise me! Promise me Bunny, you won’t run away from me again-I can’t live without you Baby, I won’t! I’ll die without you, do you hear me?! I’ll Die!’
‘Never leaving you! Never! I Promise! Please-Please I Can’t-‘
‘Cum for me Bunny, my good girl!’ He slammed his hips into mine painfully hard and as I felt him cum the tightness in my belly snapped and I cried out, collapsing against him as he pulled me into a deep kiss. ‘I love you Baby, I’m so sorry. I’ll never hurt you again, never.’
Later that night I found myself freshly showered and clean, thanks to my police officer boyfriend. Elijah brushed his fingers through my hair, resting my head on his chest as I began drifting off, completely fucked out after he jumped me again before the shower, twice during, and again after. His fingernails against my scalp felt magical as he tried to relax me enough to fall asleep in his arms.
‘No more running from me, okay? If I have to come and search for you again, it won’t be this much fun…’ I shook my head instantly as he said this, knowing that I never want to relive this moment, even if it means I never get away…maybe staying with Elijah isn’t so bad…it could be much worse.
‘No more running away…and no more hurting. Promise?’ Elijah leaned down, kissing my head with a smile on his face.
‘Promise. I love you…my little baby Bunny.’
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Elijah Mikaelson Masterlist
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ihavemanyhusbands · 1 year
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Lover's Spat
Will Graham x Hannibal Lecter x Fem!Reader
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Summary: You had been the prized protege of the household for some time, but a sudden distance leaves you reeling. What happens when a junior killer feels neglected? Short answer: a bloody tantrum.
Word Count: 3.4k words
Warnings: DARK CONTENT, MINORS DNI, heavy angst and whump, graphic depictions of violence, graphic depictions of gore, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, non-sexual nudity, injuries, inebriation, use of sedatives, use of restraints, threats, mentions of blood, bit of a power imbalance yeah, corrupted reader, use of she/her pronouns, lmk if anything else!
A/N: Special thanks to @glitchedpup -- my muse and co-creator of this delightfully dark fic <3 i couldn’t have done it without you!! Pretty proud of this one! I shouldn't even have to say this but I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE ACTIONS DEPICTED IN THIS FIC. IT IS NOT A REFLECTION OF MY OWN MORALS/VALUES. Don't like don't read, as usual.
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– “Decipher me, my love, or I will be forced to destroy you.”  Clarice Lispector, from “The Book of Delights”.
The room was a complete mess. 
Upturned furniture, slashed curtains, and deep gouges on various surfaces. Rorschach stains of crimson fury stained the walls and the once pristine white bed sheets. Bits of bone and flesh were haphazardly strewn about like broken puzzle pieces. 
There had clearly been quite the struggle — terror and brute strength versus agility and sheer animal determination. 
The mutilated corpse of a man was splayed atop the bed. His chest had been torn open, ribs smashed to pieces in order to access his tender insides. His eyes were closed and his hands had been crudely tied together, palms facing up – like a supplicant. His heart was cupped in them, with a paring knife driven straight through it.
A crime of passion, through and through. But the man himself was inconsequential, merely a vessel to convey a message.
At first, Will didn’t register anything amiss. There were a few small clues here and there that were familiar, like a trail of breadcrumbs left behind for only the most trained eye to find. His eye, more specifically.
They led him closer to the body, where he recognized the fine mother-of-pearl handle of the knife. Suddenly, he could barely hear the voices of those around him. Cold fear momentarily ran like sludge through his veins, but he kept his composure.
This was your design. 
He’d known you were under Hannibal’s tutelage, but it was uncharacteristic of you to be so rash and utterly careless. Not once before had you left a trace, but then again, you’d never worked outside of Hannibal’s house.
He’d thought you’d mastered clinical detachment, but this scene was tainted with ire and resentment. It permeated the air like a poisonous gas, roiling in his lungs and threatening to choke him.
“Will?” Jack said, getting his attention. “Any motive you can think of?”
Shaking off the last of his visions, Will took a small fortifying breath and glanced back at him over his shoulder.
“None as of yet.” 
Will knew there’d be many components to cleaning up this mess. Not only would he have to get the police far off your trail, but he also had to find you. He called Hannibal to inquire about your whereabouts, but he confirmed you were not home. He tried to get ahold of you too, but of course, there was no response.
Once he could disentangle himself from Jack and the crime scene crew – trying to keep his hands from shaking – he racked his brain for all the possible places you could be in. He knew you liked going on long walks, but you preferred to stay away from densely populated areas unless strictly necessary. The woods were too broad a place to search, and there was no way you had made it all the way to Wolf Trap on foot.
Then, he remembered the old apartment you’d lived in before he and Hannibal took you in. It was a shoddy building on the outskirts of town, which he was pretty sure had been foreclosed for a while. Still, it was the only other place you had, really. So he made his way there.
There, he spotted a hole in the chain link fence surrounding the building. He ignored the No Trespassing sign, much like he figured you had, and maneuvered himself through the gap. He made his way up to the third floor, where your unit was, and heard murmurs behind the door.
He found you half naked and rambling, still caked in blood and viscera. In one hand, you were tightly clutching a large kitchen knife, a ribbon of fabric clinging to it. Much of your clothes were in tatters, ripped apart like you’d been desperate to get them off of yourself.
In your other hand, you had an unlabelled bottle of what he assumed was cheap vodka or gin. You were swaying a little in place, clearly inebriated. You held it to your swollen cheekbone, as if the tepid glass could soothe it.
A dark bruise bloomed up the right side of your ribcage, and your breaths were shallow and slow. On the other side, near your belly button, you had a poorly dressed wound, the fabric soaked in dark, shiny crimson. His eyes lingered on this detail for a moment, but his face did not betray the concern he felt.
It was a clear admission of guilt, but he wanted to hear you confess your sins out loud. 
“What did you do?” He asked, keeping his voice low and even.
You lifted your head and looked at him without really seeing him. Your gaze was flat and unforgiving, almost unrecognizable. A small blood vessel had burst in your left eye, leaving a red splotch in the sclera. Your muscles tensed and your nostrils flared when you registered him as an intruder.
His hand was close to his waist, where his gun was holstered, in case he’d need to draw it.
“I took him for one last waltz, carried him in my arms as the saccharine wine of his blood spilled over us.” You closed your eyes for a moment, as if reliving it. “He adored me deliriously with his last breaths. I saw it in his eyes.”
Will took a step forward, causing a floorboard to creak, and your eyes snapped open. You slashed the knife in a wide arc, silently warning him to stay back. Your eyes were wild and unfocused, much too dark in the low light. 
You swung sideways just as fast, the blade barely missing his midsection. He quickly drew back at your third frantic attempt, and you stumbled forward a little. Despite your skills and abundant bravado, both the drunkenness and the pain made you clumsy. You winced, but did not back down, still in a fighting stance.
He pulled out his gun and pointed it at your shoulder, which made you freeze.
“Hannibal’s going to be pissed if I shoot you,” he said, unfazed by your display. “Put the knife down before you get hurt.”
“You don’t have the guts to hurt me, Graham,” you sneered.
“Try me.”
For a long, tense moment, the two of you stared at each other. It was clear that neither of you actually wanted to hurt the other, but your pride wasn’t going to let you go down so easily. 
And you knew that he wouldn’t hesitate if it came down to it, especially for your own good.
“He knows, then?” You asked, still unmoving.
Will simply nodded, and for a brief second, you considered angling the knife towards yourself. You started to adjust your grip on it, and he took the opportunity to lunge forward and knock it out of your hand. It clattered loudly on the floor, and he kicked it away, grabbing your wrist.
“You’re in deep trouble, you know that?” He said, grip tightening. “What if they hadn’t called me? You left evidence everywhere! Do you know how hard it was to hide all that without getting caught? Reckless! Very reckless!”
You tried to struggle out of his grip, and he knocked the bottle out of your grasp, which shattered on the floor. As you lifted your hand to strike him, he grabbed it, now holding both of your wrists.
“Don’t touch me! You don’t get to touch me!” You spat, still thrashing.
“Oh, I beg to differ. But I’m not going to be the one to punish you,” he said, forcefully turning you around and cuffing your hands behind your back. “Now, let’s go.”
He took his jacket off and draped it over your shoulders before ushering you out of the building. He had to steady you as you stumbled about, still furious and not entirely lucid. Even the familiar scent of him enveloping you did nothing to calm you.
He wrestled you into the back seat and made sure you wouldn’t be able to unlock the doors from the inside. For the time being, you resigned to lying on your side, slightly easing the discomfort of your shoulder blades being pinned together.
“Where are we going?” You asked as he started the engine.
“Home,” he said, glancing at you from the rearview mirror. “As you know, we’re expected.”
The drive there was torturous. Every turn made your head spin, the world outside the window swirling into a dizzying whirlpool of colors. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on your breathing, keeping down the bile that threatened to crawl up your throat. You stained the fabric of the seat, since the wound on your side had torn just a little further open.
All of the events of the past forty-eight hours were still shoved to the periphery of your mind, but you knew you couldn’t keep a blind eye to your sins forever. Eventually, they would come at you like a raging river, consuming you.
Will pulled into Hannibal’s driveway just after sundown, and a sense of foreboding made your stomach bottom out. Once, the house was a safe haven; A place you finally felt welcome in, despite the fact its walls had witnessed your flaws. 
But at that moment, with death hovering at the threshold, it felt like you were heading to the gallows.
As he marched you inside, your knees almost buckled. You gritted your teeth and raised your chin, angry at yourself for displaying any sort of weakness. You were still a little lightheaded and disoriented from the drive, so you had to try even harder to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
The two of you found Hannibal in the living room, sitting by the hearth and staring at the fire within. He said nothing as he looked up, his eyes skirting over you and landing on Will, who held your arm.
In the flickering light, the harsh planes of his face spelled out your fate. You almost expected to hear a gavel pounding before the sentence was carried out… whatever it was.
“Take her downstairs,” he instructed, his tone almost bored. “And leave her there. Repentance always begins with solitude.”
His coldness stung, fueling your resentment, but it did not necessarily surprise you. Still, you tried to catch his eye, but it was no use. He returned his gaze to the fire, and Will dragged you along to the basement.
You were compliant as he led you down the metallic staircase and past a plastic strip curtain, but your eyes were fixed on the various tools against one of the walls. A pang of dread made your heart stutter as you wondered which ones might be used on you.
It was then that you tried to fight back again, desperately this time, survival instincts kicking into overdrive. Without the use of your hands, you resorted to twisting your body and attempting to bite.
He struggled against you, trying to immobilize you in his arms. You managed to get a hold of one of his forearms when it got a little too close to your face, sinking your teeth into it. He growled as you broke the skin, a metallic taste filling your mouth. When he was able to pull you away by the hair, you licked his blood from your teeth.
Instantly, you were backhanded across the face. The entire left side lit up with white-hot pain, and he grabbed you by the throat, pulling you towards the tools.
“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” He admonished as he clasped your collar around your neck. “You know I’m gonna have to muzzle you for that, right?”
He made you kneel, attaching a chain that was against the far wall to your collar. The muzzle followed right after, a layer of leather covering your mouth. 
You glared up at him as he inspected the bite on his forearm, which was still pulsing with bright pain. You felt some satisfaction at having gotten him at least a little, even if it’d potentially make things worse. If you were going to go out, you would do so fighting.
Hopefully, Hannibal would at least be able to appreciate that.
Will left you there without a parting word, instead giving you one last disgruntled look. Once he was up the stairs, you sagged in place. It wasn’t your first time being disciplined, but you knew this was different. A line had been crossed that you weren’t sure you could ever come back from, but you feared what awaited you on the other side.
The basement was dry and cool, slightly soothing your feverish skin. Your head swam once more as adrenaline began to fade from your system. You were sobering up, too, and that was the only way you could tell time was passing.
There, by yourself, you only had your thoughts to torment you, filling in the silence with a buzz like the swarming of bees.
Good things are so slippery, aren’t they?  Happiness becomes complacency, and thus monotony. Pleasure wanes quickly, and tragedy seldom waits to make itself known.
And what, then, if you are the harbinger of your own tragedy?
You rested your head against the brick wall, the blue darkness of your eyelids providing some comfort. 
After what seemed like an eternity, you heard footsteps descending the metal staircase. You opened your eyes to see Hannibal, his expression still impassive.
He knelt in front of you, undoing the straps of the muzzle. You eyed him warily, but remained unmoving. The barest ghost of a smile was on his face as he saw the crusted blood on the corners of your lips. He’d patched up Will’s arm already, skin mottled purple and red with your molar imprints. He only wished he could have seen you in action.
In his hand, there was a familiar white capsule – one you recognized from his lessons.
“Open,” he ordered. 
You clenched your jaw, turning your face away. 
"You will either open your mouth and take the medication, or I can simply dislocate your jaw and force you to take it... The choice is yours.”
Begrudgingly, you did as told, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You swallowed the pill dry, grimacing slightly. 
“It should, at the very least, quell that sharp tongue of yours. Or perhaps it’ll only encourage it. We shall see,” he mused, looking you over. “I’ll undo the other restraints when that takes effect.”
“I’m no threat to you,” you murmured.
“Indeed. You are not.”
Still, he made no move to free you, making his point clear. He stood, walking over to the tool wall and wheeling out a metal examination table. Two trays followed right after, and you swallowed hard at the realization that he was setting up for what came next. 
"Now, darling, I have been a psychiatrist for many years... I know we can break that defiant streak of yours. The question is how many more bones will have to go with it?"
He gestured towards your ribcage, and you felt a sudden urge to hide your injuries. All the evidence of what you’d done – the irreparable mess you had gotten yourself into. You ought to beg, to grovel and weep at his feet to spare your life. But you would do no such thing, if only for the sake of keeping whatever dignity you had left.
The world began to blur at the edges, like a frosted window during the winter. The maelstrom of emotions that had been brewing inside of you began to evaporate with your exhales, giving way to a blissful nothingness. You watched him wash his hands thoroughly, donning latex gloves.
Once your body was loose and your mind was like a forest of thick fog, Hannibal undid your bindings and carefully scooped you into his arms. Your head lolled against his chest, and you swore you could hear his heartbeat like a loud thunder in your ears. You wanted to cling to him tighter, but you couldn’t find your strength.
“I missed the way you tenderized me,” you rasped, voice weak and breathy. “Soft and pliant flesh for your hands to mold. Didn’t you love me best then?”
“An artist’s job is never quite finished,” he said. “There is love in destruction, too.” 
Will descended the stairs as Hannibal was laying you down on the examination table. He used trauma shears to cut what remained of your clothes off, intent on examining every inch of you for the extent of your wounds.
The lights overhead framed their heads like halos, sanctifying them. Shouldn’t your hands be folded in prayer? Your knees on the cool stone floor?
For a moment, you wondered if you’d already died. Soon enough, you supposed.
“Jack’s taken care of. At least for now,” Will’s voice sounded far away as he spoke to Hannibal, who nodded in acknowledgment.
You focused on him, glancing at his bandaged arm. “I’m not sorry for biting you.”
He huffed in bitter amusement. “I know you’re not.”
“Just a little gift for you to remember me by.”
“Why don’t you tell us what’s troubling you?” Hannibal chimed in, listening to you hiss a little through your teeth as he cleaned up some of your scrapes. 
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” Will said. “You left us a very pointed message. Can’t imagine all that mayhem wasn’t inspired by something.”
“You’re the goddamn empath. Why don’t you tell me?” You hissed, still feeling particularly prickly with him.
Hannibal tsked in disapproval, fingers barely tracing your ribcage — a silent warning more than an assessment. Unable to help it, you let out the softest whimper, on edge at the prospect of more agony.
You weren’t entirely surprised that they were ignorant of your rage. They were too preoccupied with other matters to notice. It had been a gradual process, in which they spent more and more time away, leaving you to your own devices. The more tedious tasks were left to you, all of which you could perform almost automatically. It made everything dull at first, but whenever your thoughts would wander to their whereabouts, resentment steadily grew like a thorny bramble in your chest.
But you were quiet in your seething. You tried to remain obedient and useful, in hopes that they would just see how indispensable you were. Anger had always been a reliable companion, especially in moments of fear or weakness, but it was a dangerous fire to stoke. And stoked it was.
Until one day, you couldn’t bear the weight of it all anymore. And this was where it led you.
“I have needs, too, you know,” you began, your words slow and slurred. “Not just carnal. I wanted frenzy and fury, a pain that only you could give and take away. You said destruction is another form of love, but I felt merely endured. An afterthought.”
The two of them shared a look, finally understanding the extent of their negligence. A stray tear escaped your lash line, and Will reached down to brush it away with one of his knuckles. 
“‘These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.’” Hannibal recited.
“And quite a fire it was,” Will murmured.
“Would you kiss me before it’s over, then?” You pleaded. “One last time?”
“Last time?” He repeated, frowning in confusion. 
“I know what happens next, Will,” the words left you with a ragged sort of exhale, defeated. “An errant flame must be snuffed out for its destruction. I am at your mercy.”
Hannibal removed the piece of cloth from your side, exposing where you’d been stabbed. He noticed the weapon was still buried inside, so he went to retrieve some long, thin surgical tweezers.
"And mercy you shall be granted, just this once. Your fire will not be extinguished tonight, we’ve worked much too hard to keep it kindled. Though discipline should douse that raging inferno considerably,” he leaned in close, so that you were eye to eye. “Did you have enough?”
You managed a small grin. “Never.”
He couldn’t help but smile back. “Atta girl.”
Will glared at him. “But it will not happen again. Our fondness for you is a weakness, despite our faults, forgiveness is not a mistake we will commit twice.”
“The scars shall serve as a reminder. But not to worry, we’ll keep a closer eye on you,” Hannibal reassured. “We are sorry too, isn’t that right, Will?” 
Will merely nodded, reaching down to place his hand on your shoulder affectionately, fingers brushing your clavicle. 
Hannibal straightened to his full height once more, the metal tweezers in his grip glinting in the light. “This is gonna hurt, darling.”
You nodded, ready to sink into delirium. “Bring it on.”
---
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AITA for writing a fic about a character who a plural friend has a fictive of in a way I know they wouldn't like?
I (25 he/him) have a friend (27 they/them) who is a system. I am a singlet, and there's a lot I don't understand, but I adopt an approach of being chill and respectful and educating myself as much as I can. My friend has a fictive in their system who is from a media property that I write fic for. This character is an antagonist in canon, but the fictive is not like that and my friend talks a lot about how much it sucks that fandom hates him and writes him being a villain. They especially have complained about fandom writing fics where this character's behaviour is more serious or violent than his behaviour in canon. A lot of 'I would not fucking say that' kind of comments.
I am writing a fic for this fandom where this character is the villain. It's nothing beyond what he did in canon, but he is very much the bad guy, and I lean into him being the bad guy. I have mentioned the fic to my friend in the past, BEFORE I knew about this fictive, but I did not mention this character's role in the fic. I am sure that they're going to see it when I post it, though, and I think it's extremely possible they might be upset at me for writing about this character in this way.
Why I think I might not be the asshole: Fictives and the source material character are not the same and I know that. I am not treating them like the same thing, and I know the character and my friend's headmate are not one and the same. I also can't imagine a situation in which I would find someone being mad about this a reasonable reaction. Also, this character is canonically an antagonist who has done terrible things. I'm not interested in discourse over liking villains or having fictives of villains. I only mention this because it is relevant to the context of my writing a fic in which he is a villain, because that is his canonical role, and I'm not changing anything or going out of my way to make him a bad guy, I am merely continuing the canon depiction of how he treats people and the things he does.
Why I think I might be the asshole: This IS a close friend, and I know they read my work, even if we don't usually talk about it. I just know they read what I post, and know that they would see that I'd written this. They have said seeing this character being the bad guy in fics bums them out and upsets them. Seeing several posts recently from people who have fictives in their systems or from fictives themselves about how 'I would not fucking say that' or 'I would never do that' - or otherwise complaining about characterization of the character they're a fictive of, positing that they're an authority because they Are That Character - has me on edge also, because I get very in my head about characterization and whether I should or shouldn't be writing something a lot.
So. AITA for writing this?
What are these acronyms?
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fortheloveofwonderland · 10 months
Text
Midnight | Chapter 8 | S.R
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Not my gif. Gif does not depict appearance of reader
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Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Chapter Summary - you find yourself in a compromising position and have to convince Spencer you’re on his side.
A/N - fun fact this was the second chapter I wrote when I started this fic as I knew exactly how I wanted their first time to play out. Enjoy the filth!
Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader
Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending
Warnings - restraints, swearing, blood kink, bruises, mild strangulation, mentions of rapists and murder, making out, fingering, handjob, oral (fem receiving), slight edging, penetrative sex, unprotected sex.
WC - 5.8k
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Chapter 8 - Dancing With the Devil
You roused from sleep slowly, feeling yourself ebbing into consciousness as your brain languidly woke itself up. For a brief and blissful few seconds you forgot where you were and the situation you were in. 
As you started to fade back into the living realm, the first thing that alerted you to the fact you weren’t at home in your own bed was when you tried to move your arms to rub your eyes. At first when they didn’t budge you thought maybe you were still asleep, not yet conscious enough to have control over your limbs. 
But when you tried again, you managed to move them an inch or so before you met resistance and something felt like it was tugging against your wrists. 
You blinked several times, trying to focus on your surroundings. But before you could take the room in, your eyes landed another set, sitting next to you on the bed and smiling softly at you. 
“You’re awake.” Spencer mumbled softly, looking at you like you were the most important thing in the world to him. 
You swallowed thickly as the memories came flooding back to you and you realised where you were. But that didn’t explain why you couldn’t move your arms. They weren’t at your sides, they were above your head. As if reading your thoughts Spencer spoke again.
“I’m sorry about the restraints, I wasn’t sure if I could trust you.” He nodded over your head and that’s when you realised something silky was wrapped around your wrists, one of his ties maybe? 
You tried to pull against them but met resistance again. You whimpered a little pathetically. 
“I’m sorry.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to stab you.” 
“I don’t care about that.” He rolled his eyes. “You disobeyed me.” 
You frowned a little, head still full of sleep as you tried to work out what he was talking about. The last few days had been a complete blur. 
“I don’t know what you mean.” You croaked. 
Spencer chuckled with a shake of his head, a slight amusement dancing in his eyes. 
“Oh please, I know everything.” He scoffed. “You called Luke. On a pay phone which he could easily have Garcia track if he wanted to. What did you say to him?”
Oh fuck, yes you had done that hadn’t you? It seemed like so long ago now, so much had happened since then it had slipped your mind. You swallowed thickly. 
“Nothing. I was just checking in. Do you really think I’d be so stupid as to tell him what’s going on? I’m complicit in all of this Spencer, if you go down I’m going down with you.” 
“I can’t be too careful, Y/N.” He clucked with an amused glint in his eyes. “I will not get caught.”
“Just untie me, we can talk.” You pleaded with him but he was shaking his head.
“No, not yet.” He chuckled a little which you found to be an oddly haunting noise.
He wore a pair of dark denim jeans paired with a zip up hooded sweatshirt with a white t-shirt peeking out over the top. You’d started to grow used to seeing him in this much more casual state but only when he went out to take care of business. 
“You know I don’t like to get my good suits covered in blood.” He remarked as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say.
As though you didn’t understand what he meant, he raised his arms, proffering his hands towards you. His large palms were caked in claret, his fingers too, you wouldn’t be surprised if it was under his nails as well. The blood had started to dry into the creases and wrinkles in his hands but in other places you could see it was still wet and sticky. The underside of that gold band he wore was reddened too. 
The sight should have disgusted you, caused you to gasp or try to squirm away from him. But you didn’t move, barely so much as blinked. Spencer was surprised by your calmness and decided to test the waters. 
He shuffled a little closer to you and raised his right hand towards your throat. He saw you swallow deeply as his hand ghosted across the thin flesh of your neck which bore bruises from the last time he’d wrapped his hand around your throat. 
You kept your eyes locked on his as he pressed his palm against your windpipe. You felt the tacky blood on your skin as he wrapped his fingers around your throat. But you showed no signs of intimidation. He didn’t apply pressure, he held you limply, all the while keeping the eye contact strong. He tried to read your expression, to ascertain whether or not you were just putting on a brave face. 
“Are you scared of me?” He decided to ask, keeping his hand in place on your neck.
“No,” you were quick to answer. “Should I be?” 
“I have you tied to a bed and my hand around your throat while I’m covered in another man’s blood. You tell me.” He grinned wildly down at you. 
“I’m not scared of you. I don’t think that you’d hurt me.” 
“I wouldn’t.” His smile was hurriedly replaced by a frown. “I would never hurt you.” 
“Then I have no reason to be scared. Untie me, Spence. I’m not going anywhere.” 
“No.” He shook his head, removing his hand from your neck, you could feel the blood he’d left behind on your skin. “I can’t be sure you won’t run away and turn me in.”
“Spencer, you’re an excellent profiler. Look at me, you’ll see I’m not lying to you.” 
You scrutinised you again, profiling you. But he quickly shook his head. 
“I can’t trust my own mind anymore.”
“Yes, you can.” You tried to insist. “I gave up a lot to help you, how can I prove to you that I’m not going to betray you?” 
His eyes wandered from your face for the first time, hungry eyes raking up and down your body that lay open to him on the bed. You wore a thin oversized t-shirt which made it painfully obvious to him that you didn’t wear a bra underneath. On the bottom you had on a small pair of bike shorts which allowed him a perfect view of your thighs. 
You felt a little hot under his gaze, swallowing hard as he regarded you with dark eyes. His pupils were blown out wide and you felt a heat spread between your legs. 
He raised his hand again, this time hovering it over your thigh. You found his gaze, trying to tell him with your eyes that you weren’t scared of him touching you. At that moment it was all you wanted. When he saw no signs of you wanting him to stop, he slowly lowered his hand until his palm was pressing against your thigh. He didn’t miss the way you seemed to relax at his touch.
Once again you felt the sticky substance transfer from Spencer’s hand to your skin and there was something so unbelievably sensual about it. He spread his fingers across your flesh, kneading his fingers into your thigh muscle and an involuntary gasp left your lips.
Spencer’s eyes darkened and his lip tugged up into a smirk. Your lips were parted and you were breathing heavily. He dared move his hand higher, leaving a trail of blood behind in his wake, until his fingers skimmed the hem of your shorts.
He’d wanted you for so long, it had been all he’d thought of as of late. And now it was possible he might actually get his wish. 
You gasped again, unable to stop from pressing your thighs together as a wave of pleasure wracked your body. Spencer didn’t miss it, and his smirk only grew. It was hard to fake those little, unconditioned responses.
When he removed his hand from your leg you whimpered slightly, making Spencer chuckle. His fingertips came to toy with the bottom of your shirt, fingering the fabric and turning it red. He waited for you to tell him to stop but you didn’t. You stayed quiet and kept eye contact with him, hoping your expression told him what your words couldn’t. 
When you didn’t offer up any resistance, he moved his hand beneath your shirt and brushed his palm over the planes of your stomach, across your ribcage and finally he moved to cup one of your breasts. Your nipple hardened almost instantly under his hand and he flicked it a few times with his finger, watching intently the way his hand moved beneath your shirt. 
You pressed your thighs together again and whined at the way in which it seemed to be so easy for him to turn you on. You let your eyes flick down to his crotch, wondering if you had the same effect on him. You felt heady when your eyes landed on the obvious tenting in his jeans. 
When he removed his hand from under your t-shirt you whined again, and Spencer chuckled darkly, adjusting himself a little on the bed. 
“Who knew you were such a little deviant, Y/N.” 
“We all have a dark side, Spencer.” You rolled your lip between your teeth. 
“You like that I killed those men.” He laughed, reaching behind himself and unsheathing the blade tucked in the back of his jeans. 
He held it up to the light, blood staining the otherwise shiny metal. He surveyed you again, trying to detect any little hint of fear but saw none. 
“Tell me about him.” You nodded at the blade. 
“He was a serial rapist.” Spencer spat. “He raped at least nine women but the cops couldn’t prove it. I would have been almost less annoyed had he killed them after, but he left them alive and they have to look in the mirror everyday and remember what he did to them.” 
“But he’s not going to be able to do it again.” You shrugged. “You made sure of that.”
“I did.” He nodded, almost proudly. “He begged me not to do it. He cried as I took my blade to his throat. But I couldn’t let him hurt anyone else.”
“One less evil in the world.” You agreed with him. 
A part of you wished you were just acting, playing along with Spencer so as to ensure your own freedom. But in a weird way, you understood why he’d done what he had. He’d taken things into his own hands, he’d rid the world of a sick and twisted individual. A part of you even admired him for doing so. 
“Do you trust me?” He suddenly asked you. 
“I do.” You nodded. “Completely.” 
Spencer leant closer to you, moving the knife until it was on your throat where his hand had been not so long ago. He pressed the tip of the blade against your skin, just enough for you to feel a little pressure but not so much that he would pierce the skin. And you didn’t even flinch because you weren’t lying, you did trust him. He could have gotten his own back on you for stabbing him but somehow you knew he wouldn’t. 
“I could so easily slice your throat right now.” He frowned a little. “But you really aren’t scared, are you?”
“No, not even a little bit. You have no reason not to trust me, Spencer. Let me help you.” You begged him as he sat back and moved the blade away from your neck.
He ran it down the centre of your torso gently, coming to a stop somewhere around your belly button. With his free hand he bunched your t-shirt up before piercing the fabric with the knife. He dragged it upwards, creating a hole in the shirt of a few inches. Then he suddenly dropped the blade on the floor and brought his now free hand up to your shirt and using the hole he’d created, ripped the offending piece of material in half in one swift move. 
You gasped at the sound of the fabric tearing and the cool air hitting your bare skin. He pulled it apart completely, tugging the two pieces of your t-shirt to your biceps. He hissed at your exposed chest, a trail of blood from your stomach and his bloody handprint across your breast.
“I marked you.” He smiled, staring at your chest wildly. 
“And I’d let you do it again.” You told him and he believed you. 
He chuckled as he got to his feet, making you whine which made him laugh more. Now he was standing, his erection was even more noticeable, straining at the front of his jeans. 
He kept his eyes on you as he dragged the zipper of his hoody down and pulled it apart, revealing the bloodstained white tee he wore underneath. 
You gasped loudly, but it wasn’t in fear. He watched you squeeze your thighs together as he rid himself of the hoody. 
“Who knew you’d been this tantalised by blood?” He cocked an eyebrow at you. “I’ll be right back, princess.”
“What? Where are you going?” You simpered, wriggling on the bed. 
“I need to get myself cleaned up. I can’t very well put these hands between those delicious legs covered in someone else’s blood. That would just be foolish.” 
A moan erupted from your lungs and you saw the sound made Spencer stumble on his feet. You tugged at your restraints, desperate to be able to touch him. 
“Let me help you?” You begged him. “Please, please let me help.” 
Spencer rolled his bottom lip between his teeth in contemplation. You didn’t think there was any way he would bow to your wishes, he was clearly enjoying this exertion of power. So you were surprised to say the least when he sighed and stepped closer to the bed. 
He leant over you, and for a moment you thought he might kiss you. His breath fanned over your face and he chuckled at the way in which it made you tremble. His hands came to rest on your biceps but didn’t stay there long before they were gliding up your forearms towards the tie knotted at your wrists. He toyed with the restraint, looking you dead in the eyes. 
“If you double cross me again, I will have to kill you, you understand that right? I don’t want to, it’s the last thing I ever want to do. But it’s a dog eat dog world and if I have to, I will.” 
“I understand.” You nodded and he smiled at you. You were only mildly self-conscious at the fact your chest was still exposed. 
You felt his deft fingers make quick work of the tie and soon it was loose enough for you to slip your hands out. Your arms were dead weight and fell heavily to the bed, how long you’d been tied up like that was anybody's guess. How you hadn’t woken up when he’d done it was a mystery too. 
Spencer left the other end of the makeshift restraint tied to the head board, just in case. He took hold of one of your hands, more claret transferring between the two of you, and helped you into a sitting position on the bed. 
Your hands tingled with pins and needles as you allowed Spencer to guide you to your feet. He kept hold of your hand and led you wordlessly towards the motel bathroom. He nudged the door open with his hip and tugged you inside. 
When he let go of your hand, you let the torn pieces of your shirt fall off of your arms and onto the floor. Spencer eyed you up and down, at the blood he’d marked your flesh with and smiled to himself. He took a step closer and took hold of your hands again, placing them at the hem of his t-shirt, his eyes telling you all you needed to know. 
Your hands were trembling a little as you slowly started peeling the fabric upwards, your knuckles brushing lightly against his ribcage. He hissed slightly at your featherlight touch and lifted his arms to enable you to pull the t-shirt over his head. 
You quickly dropped it to the floor and looked at him, his alabaster skin stained with the blood that had seeped through his shirt. The wound you’d inflicted upon him was still dressed but was now smeared with blood, you could only assume it wasn’t his own. At least you hoped it wasn’t. He smiled at you and stepped dangerously closer. 
“We match.” He teased, one hand snaking around you and gripping the back of your neck tightly. “How about my pants, princess?” 
As quickly as he was touching you, he removed his hand again and stepped back, motioning towards the button of his jeans he was still straining against. 
You swallowed and with your hands still shaking, you reached for the button. Your hand ghosted over his erection and he gasped deeply, bucking his hips a little. You fumbled with the button a little due to your nerves but once you popped it open, you helped him shimmy the jeans down his legs. 
He kicked them off, leaving him in the most sinfully tight pair of black boxers that barely contained his throbbing length. You subconsciously pressed your thighs together again but he must have noticed it because he smirked at you. 
While you were busy staring at him, wondering what he would feel like inside of you, he reached behind himself and you were a little startled when the shower started spitting out water. He chuckled as you jumped slightly at the sound and took a few steps away from you, towards the shower. He put his hands on his hips, fingers dipping beneath the waistband of his boxers. 
“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?” He winked at you and you were sure you almost collapsed. 
It only occurred to you then that this was not the Doctor Spencer Reid you’d come to know in your time at the BAU. The Doctor Reid you’d known had been shy, socially awkward and a little nerdy. This man in front of you sure looked like him, but the confidence he exuded was so new to you. But god if it wasn’t the sexiest thing in the whole world. 
You found yourself nodding dumbly, mirroring his stance and hooking your own fingers in the waistband of your shorts. You made eye contact and simultaneously you both started lowering your final items of clothing. 
For some reason you felt too embarrassed to look down, like it was an invasion of his privacy so you kept your eyes on his face. Out of politeness he did the same. 
It wasn’t as though you hadn’t already seen enough, the night in the Chapmanville Inn still fresh in your mind and the silhouette of Spencer’s body through the shower curtain carved into your memory. But this was different. 
He reached for your hand once more and tugged you closer, stepping back into the shower cubicle and pulling you inside with him. He moved under the shower head and took hold of your other hand, bringing them both up to his chest. You opened them and placed your palms flush on his blood stained skin. You watched as the water started to cleanse him, the blood beginning to be washed away. 
The blood mixed with the water and rolled down his body, pooling in the drain. You noticed your hands starting to shed the claret too. Spencer brought his still stained hands up to tentatively cup your breasts. Noticing the way you whimpered at his touch, he dared to start massaging them beneath deft hands, cleaning the blood from your skin. 
“It’ll be a shame to wash this away.” He smirked dangerously at you, continuing to clean you of the blood he’d bestowed upon you. 
You desperately wanted to move your hands down his body, feel every inch of him but you were too afraid. Clearly he was the one in control here and you didn’t want to push your luck in case this ended in a cloud of smoke. 
Suddenly he tore his hands away from you and you couldn’t help but whine at the lack of contact. Spencer chuckled to himself, reaching for the wall mounted shower gel dispenser and depositing some into one hand. 
He lathered the soap between his hands, ridding himself of the blood that had once stained him before using the remnants to return to your chest and clean you properly. 
Following his lead you reached past him for the dispenser, all the while he was rubbing your breasts and you thought you might explode. You rubbed the soap in your hands before returning the favour and starting to clean his chest. 
He closed his eyes as the water fell around him, lost in the way your hands felt against his skin. It had been a long time since he’d been touched in such a way and it was making him harder than imaginable. As much as he enjoyed this, it wasn’t enough. 
He started moving you backwards, still rubbing your breasts as he did so, until your back was against the glass shower partition. His hands wandered for the first time from your breasts down to your hips and you wanted to feel his body against you but he kept his distance. 
He clutched your hips desperately in his hands, fingers digging into your flesh and would probably leave yet more bruises. He edged his face closer to you, leaving space between your bodies and his lips ghosted over the shell of your ear. 
“Do you want this?” He breathed, for the first time sounding so unsure. 
“How can you even ask me that?” You replied, snaking your arms around his neck. 
“If we do this…” he pressed his lips against your ear, breathing into your skin. “There’s no going back for me. If we do this, you belong to me.” 
A whine left your lips and your body trembled at his words. It was the only thing you wanted. 
“Spencer,” you whispered back, running your nails along the base of his neck in his wet hair. “I already belong to you.” 
He hissed and suddenly his body jerked forward, his hips slamming against you and finally allowing you to feel his hard cock pressing against you. 
One hand moved from your hip to your jaw and held it firmly in his hand, drawing you in quickly and crushing your lips together. 
You felt all the air leave your lungs when he kissed you, as though you’d been leading up to this moment your whole life. You melted into him, throwing caution to the wind and letting this man own you entirely. 
He parted your lips and plunged his tongue inside your mouth, letting go of your jaw and taking purchase on your hip again. He grinded roughly against you, making you moan. You could tell he was big, and all you wanted was to feel him inside of you. 
He kissed you fiercely, holding you steady between his body and the partition. Your body felt simultaneously like it was on fire and like you were floating. He rendered you utterly dumb with one kiss. 
Suddenly he tore his lips away from you but before you could question it he was turning you around and pushing your front up against the glass. His body caged you in from behind, cock pressing against your ass cheek. 
His lips latched against your neck, sucking the wet skin and teasing it with his teeth. You felt his hand start to roam from your hip, across your stomach and steadily lower. 
He forced your legs apart with his strong hand before one nimble digit pressed against your clit. You gasped, rolling your ass back against his cock. He smirked into your neck, continuing to suck on your flesh. 
He started moving his finger, rubbing your bundle of nerves in the most perfect way you thought it should be illegal. Your legs trembled almost instantly and if he was to move you would surely fall over. 
You pressed one hand against the glass to help keep you up right while your other snaked behind you, between your bodies. You found his shaft and wrapped around the base of it, causing him to buck against you and bite down on your neck. 
You started to stroke him, panting heavily against the glass partition while he continued his work between your legs. He really knew what he was doing and you were positive you would reach your orgasm in no time. 
“Fuck,” he groaned against your skin as you let your hand moved up and down around him. “It’s been so long since someone touched me like that.”
His confession startled you a little but the pleasure he was inflicting on you was clouding your brain and you couldn’t dwell on it too much. His free hand moved to your chest and he pinched your nipple hard between his fingers. 
Your legs buckled and he steadied you with the weight of his body. He was moaning into your neck, rocking back and forth behind you. 
When he pulled back again, leaving you feeling empty and immediately touch starved, you whined as your hand fell to your side. You heard him chuckle before the shower shut off and you slowly turned to face him. 
You finally took all of him in, his wet hair hanging down almost to his shoulders, beads of water rolling over his pale skin. His dressing was barely hanging on, desperately trying to cling to his skin for dear life. His cock stood to attention against his belly and your knees wobbled at the sight. Clearly he noticed as he laughed again. 
“Don’t worry, princess. I’m not done with you yet.” He stepped out of the shower, curling his finger in a motion for you to follow him. Dumbly you did, scurrying after him back into the bedroom. 
He grabbed you by your wrist and threw you to the bed, the sheets immediately clinging to your wet body. Your legs hung over the side of the mattress but before you could move them onto the bed, Spencer was dropping to his knees on the floor next to you. 
He gripped your thighs roughly in his large hands and spread your legs, bowing his head between them. He kept eye contact with you as his tongue ran between your folds before settling on your clit. 
You howled at the sensation, hands flying to his hair and tangling in the locks. He hadn’t shaved since the two of you had fled DC and his rough stubble was scratchy but the friction it created was out of this world. 
He made the most delicious sounds as he ravenously ate you out. You were rocking your hips against his face, pulling his hair at the roots and moaning so loud the thin motel walls shook. When he suddenly plunged two fingers inside of you, your eyes rolled back in your head and you tugged his hair so hard it made him yelp. 
He fingered you roughly, pounding his fingers inside your fluttering pussy while flicking your bud expertly with his tongue. 
He was rutting against the side of the bed, trying to ease some tension in his throbbing cock. He wanted to give you all the pleasure in the world, his own way of thanking you for everything you’d done for him, but he was more than desperate to be inside of you. 
Your walls were clenching around his fingers and he knew you were close but he wanted to feel your orgasm around his shaft. He buried his face between your legs, needing more.
“Are you close, princess?” He whispered into your core. 
“Y-yes.” You stuttered. “S-so close.” 
“Good.” He suddenly withdrew his fingers and sat back on his haunches. 
You whined as your hands fell from his hair and looked at him in frustration. 
“W-why’d you stop?” You sounded pathetic and you knew it.
Spencer smirked at you, his mouth and chin slick with your arousal. He got to his feet, looming over you. 
“Because I want you to come on my cock, pretty girl.” With that he took you by the hips again and flipped you onto your front on the mattress. 
He manoeuvred your legs onto the bed and you felt the weight shift beneath you as he knelt behind you. He tugged you onto your hands and knees and before you could even comprehend what was happening, he roughly thrust inside of you. 
You yelped, his firm grip on your hips the only thing holding you up. He felt even bigger than he looked, filling you up in a way you’d never been before. He gasped loudly at the way in which he felt you stretch around him. 
He was soon thrusting in and out of you, his hips slamming against your ass each time. You gripped the bed sheets in your hands, head falling to your chest while he fucked you without remorse. 
He was moaning so deeply you felt it vibrate through you. His blunt fingernails dug into your hips and you swore you could already feel bruises forming. He was panting so heavily he sounded like he’d run a marathon but he didn’t slow down. 
He continued to pound into you, bringing you closer to your orgasm every second. By the time it washed over you, your whole body convulsed, pussy clenching around his cock, causing him to hold you even tighter. 
You moaned incoherently, possibly saying his name, you weren’t sure. Your head was a mess and your arms barely kept you upright anymore. 
“Fuck, that’s it princess. Fuck, feels so good when you come for me.” His thrusts started to grow lazy and you knew he was close too. 
Truthfully he’d been close since he’d first tasted you and he had no idea how he’d been able to last this long. But the feeling of you clenching around him as you came was too much and it finally pushed him over the edge. 
With one last thrust he let himself fall over the edge, spilling his load inside of you, holding onto your hips for dear life. He rocked back and forth as he rode out his orgasm but was soon pulling out. 
As soon as he let go of you, you crumbled to the bed, panting against the lumpy motel pillow. Spencer fell down next to you and gently wiped your hair back from your eyes. 
You blinked sleepily, a dreamy smile on your lips as you looked at him. You’d always thought he was stunning, but in this post-coital bliss you didn’t think anyone had ever been so beautiful. 
His puffy lips were parted as he tried to catch his breath, his intoxicating hazel eyes were hooded with sleep. His stubble still glistened a little from your arousal and his wet hair created a halo around his head. 
Am I in love with him? You thought as you stared at him. Or am I in love with the way he made me feel? 
Either way, you knew you shouldn’t have any feelings towards him. He was a murderer, pure and simple. Sure those men deserved it but it didn’t make what he’d done ok. But yet you still found yourself not just understanding it, but condoning it. And you knew as you laid there that you’d follow him to the ends of the earth, you’d be by his side until the bitter end. 
Could it be Stockholm Syndrome, or did you really have feelings for Spencer? Away from this situation, under normal circumstances, would this have still happened? 
All you knew for sure was that you were dancing with the devil and only he knew all the moves. But you were happy to let him lead. 
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
You best sleep with a blanket and a shovel,
'Cause life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Where am I? My hands are tied.
Turn on the lights, and I see you standing,
Over me, it's hard to breathe.
I can't believe that you'd do this to me.
Years of us building the trust up,
No love was ever enough.
I'm foolish to think we were friends,
It's funny how it ends.
You know, when times get tough you always give up,
I know your smoking gun's the tip of your tongue.
You take your aim to point the blame,
It's time we let it go, so save your lies.
Behind those eyes you're a devil in disguise.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
You best sleep with a blanket and a shovel,
'Cause life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Now it's time to pay the price,
No playing nice when you live so selfish.
Have a drink and make a scene,
Embarrass me 'cause you're lost and hopeless.
Years of us building the trust up,
No love was ever enough.
I'm foolish to think we were friends,
It's funny how it ends.
And you know, when times get tough you always give up,
I know your smoking gun's the tip of your tongue.
You take your aim to point the blame,
It's time you let it go, so save your lies.
Behind those eyes you're a devil in disguise.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
You best sleep with a blanket and a shovel,
'Cause life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
You try to act as if you're saving me,
But you wouldn't cut the rope if it was hanging me.
I'm sick of people saying what you sow you reap,
'Cause I've been counting down the minutes of that, so to speak.
Think of all the hours and hours of grind,
That would it turned into sour findings.
As I wonder if our resigning is becoming the silver lining,
But I'm not a coward, I'm fighting.
'Cause if they're the meat, then I'm biting
Go ahead ignoring and smiling,
'Cause I'm climbing 'till I let you know.
When times get tough you always give up,
I know your smoking gun's the tip of your tongue.
You take your aim to point the blame,
It's time you let it go, so save your lies.
Behind those eyes, yeah.
You know, when times get tough you always give up,
I know your smoking gun's the tip of your tongue.
You take your aim to point the blame,
It's time you let it go, so save your lies.
Behind those eyes you're a devil in disguise.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
Life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
You best sleep with a blanket and a shovel,
'Cause life's too short to be dancing with the devil.
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@andiebeaword @dreatine @dirtytissuebox @thebloomingeagle @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world
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hwaightme · 9 months
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Hand hug
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🫶 pairing: hongjoong x gn!reader 🫶 genre: fluff, friends to lovers, implied producer/idol joong bc iykyk 🫶 summary: you and hongjoong have many traditions, inside jokes, and stories, but do you really know him like the back of your hand? 🫶 wordcount: 3.0k 🫶 warnings/tags: editing? mayhaps, coffee at questionable hours, food mention, convenience store snaccysnaccs, producer!joong, wholesome joong in a hoodie, rooftops/being on roof, night scenery, very late(early) night(morning) 🫶 taglist: at the bottom of the fic~ 🫶 a/n: @pocketjoong my love, my Sky, my universe, my everything. happy birthday <3 i love you to infinity, and thank you for everything and more! i am wishing you all the best on this amazing day~ and i hope you like this joongie~ <3
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Hand hugs. One of the many, many inside jokes and mini traditions that you had crafted together with Hongjoong over the course of your friendship. Or relationship. Or whatever pining for your friend for ages was supposed to be called. You did not mind. At least you got your Hongjoong by your side. Or could you even say that?
While you watched Hongjoong rush down the aisle of the convenience store after he had exclaimed that he had forgotten something ‘essential’, the thought plagued your mind, gnawing on it like a persistent little devil. Just like it had done the last time you two hung out, and the one before that. How would you react if he were to ever date anyone? Get in a relationship? Get married? Would you be okay with being the best friend at his wedding, quietly seething in the corner and wishing that it was you standing next to him? You shrugged to yourself and clutched the basket tighter in your hands.
It was always you and Joong. You knew him like the back of your hand, and he knew you like the back of his. Maybe that was why the hand hugs were so symbolic, transcending their original intent, which was to find a compromise between your desire for oxytocin surges and his aversion to all things physical touch. A simple palm to palm, digits to digits, thumb around the other’s hand. A hand hug. Simple. Sweet. A reminder for both of you that you knew each other, and were living a beautiful life together.
While you were caught up in your musings you noticed your load lightening a little too late - Hongjoong was already on his way to pay, again. With a yelp you started for the self checkout, but he softly nudged you with his hip, a cheeky smile adorning his face while he scanned the items. You pondered if this deserved a joking purchase of something abominably spicy, but decided against it. After all, you would not be able to force him to eat it even if you tried. So you simply held a resting gaze on the methodical swiping and the way in which the items disappeared into Hongjoong’s trusty canvas bag, one after the other. 
It was tattered, showed some darkening at the edges, a couple of loose threads here and there, but Hongjoong would fight you if you were to even dare suggest throwing it away. But you would never even think to do it - after all, the design that it bore was one you two had painted together, a few years ago in the midst of one change after another. It was a depiction of the Earth surrounded by the random favourite things that made the two of you who you were. Pleasant and heart-warming memories. This canvas bag had carried things equally as pivotal to the both of you. It had carried your items when you moved out to begin life as an independent adult (only to have Hongjoong visit you, or you visit Hongjoong so often that you knew no solitude), it had held the equipment and disks owned by none other than your closest and dearest friend as he marched to the studio, dreams stronger than ever, passion and eagerness to achieve in every step. The handles remembered the way in which you would share the weight, one for each person, swinging ever so slightly as you would walk in stride down the city streets wherever your hearts desired. Just like you were doing now, with the snacks and quick meals protected by the sturdy material. In your free hands, you had your ‘cost effective coffees’, as Hongjoong had called them once and the title stuck. This was your favourite kind of two in the morning.
There was only one place where your feet would take you at this hour, and it was the rooftop. Not any kind of rooftop, but the one on Hongjoong’s apartment building, located in a scenic and quiet residential district, a little ways off from the centre of the city, but giving the best landscapes and skyline view of glimmering lights. The walk to his building was silent - there was no need to fill the atmosphere with aimless chatter that would, either way, turn to a hazy, noisy static. You knew what the other was thinking, at least you wanted to pretend you did. You smiled to yourself. If only he was thinking the same as you were in this moment. About the closeness of your hands, about how your heart was pounding in your chest, about how you caught the scent of his cologne that suited him so well when he playfully pushed you. You focused on the dimly lit street ahead, trying to keep your breathing level as you trekked higher and higher up the hill, to your one true paradise.
Thankfully the building was only a few stories high, and did not need too intense of an effort to conquer. At least this was what you told yourself every time before starting on the journey up the spiralling flights of stairs, one step after the other until you were almost out of breath and your legs were just starting to ache - there was your cardio for the next day or so until you would decide to do this all over again. Because this was a small price to pay for the timelessness that you would experience once you got to the top. A click of the key, a turn of the doorknob, and the infinite expanse of the night was surrounding you, and the breeze gently tousled your locks as you stepped out onto the roof, following Hongjoong closely. 
You were not sure how exactly he had managed to convince his landlord to give him the keys to the roof, since it was normally off limits and a mystery even for the permanent residents. Maybe Hongjoong promised to clean and re-vamp the place a bit - which he most definitely did, considering that it now looked like the ultimate relaxation spot, with outdoor fairy lights, plants that did not mind waiting until the next rainfall to be watered, lounge chairs, an antique table that he had picked up at the secondhand market and reinforced to live through the tests of the great outdoors, and some little trinkets that were simply so him that it made you want to burst into tears. He had an eye for design, an eye for expression, and whether he would have liked for you to say this or not, had an eye for love. It was all around you. In everything he had done to the place, in how he treated it, in how he pulled out the chair for you, in how the two of you took a moment to look out into the distance, marking out the local attractions and main highlights of the city before launching into a scavenger hunt through the canvas bag, keeping quiet and feigning obliviousness when your hands brushed once, twice, another time. No, you could never give up this feeling. 
Clinking plastic cups, the lids preventing the drink that was the colour of deep mahogany and the taste of bitter remnants of a campfire, you reclined on your seat and nodded to yourself absent-mindedly, taking a sip. Nothing could be sweeter than this after all. You stole another glance at Hongjoong, who was still wistfully staring off into the distance, caught up in his thoughts. You and him decided to wear your ‘accidentally matching’ hoodies today, in the true free and young spirit of the late night, or early morning, raid on the convenience store. You said ‘accidental’, but was it really when the hoodie was one that he had gifted you for your birthday, and ‘just so happened’ to have a similar one, obviously new? Regarding the piece with a soft smile, you had taken note of how the sleeves of the hoodie spilled just a little bit over his frail, yet elegant wrists, practically transforming into warmers or mittens. Only thanks to the drink which he was cradling in his perfectly manicured hands - with one finger sporting a new coat of nail polish, could you even see his digits in the lulling semi-darkness.
Nothing was being said, and yet a whole universe was passing with every second. In every sigh, twist, tilt of the head, in how Hongjoong flicked through his phone only to put it down and let soft instrumentals twirl from the speakers - a track he was working on, no doubt, in everything that the two of you shared was something you did not wish to even begin to define, out of fear that it would crumble before you. A fragile creature, a precious little bird that cautiously shared its song with the two of you, perched on the echoes of years behind you. Hopping from branch to branch of dialogue and dreaming. The acoustic piece ended, and with it, the birdsong. A trembling flutter of the wings carried it away into your ribcage, and you waited with bated breath for the next moment. Hongjoong set his coffee aside, clumsily pausing the track which had already returned to the intro and was beginning to repeat the first few strums of the guitar chords, and with a timid smile, gazed at you. Expectant. You looked away, trying to find comfort in the glints of distant stars, the hum of traffic miles away and howling of ghostly sirens reflecting off the blanket of deep navy, an onyx-coated purple, and right at the horizon, of stubborn, yet dazed and tired ashen reds and yellows of the urban nocturne. 
“Thoughts?” not liking the sound of his own voice, he cleared his throat after letting the whisper escape him. You paid it no mind, every syllable turning into a stunning creation in your mind. The best the sonorous world could offer. He leaned closer, you could feel it, but you remained how you were, pretending to be transfixed by the starry masterpiece.
“It’s pretty,” you mumbled back, ambiguous. You knew better than to hope that Hongjoong would end the discussion there. Ever since the early days, he would ask you for your reviews, opinions, critiques, input… During nights like these, the most casual get-together could turn into a listening party, with him playing song after song only to stop one midway and start another, worried, wanting to impress you. All the more exciting for you - you could listen forever.
“What is?” he tried again, perching his elbows on the armrest of his chair, to the point where you could sense his presence next to you.
“The tune.”
“There wasn’t one though?” you could imagine his eyes narrowing as he asked.
“I can hear it. And I know you already have one in mind so,” you let your sentence trail off as you took another sip of the cooling coffee.
“Got you. Incomplete, right?” he picked up on your cues better than anyone could. You nodded, humming in agreement with his conclusion.
“Yeah. But I know you considered it.”
“Sure did. What are you piecing together?” he continued, running a hand through his hair, to adjust some invisible strand. A nervous habit. So he could feel it too after all. Unless you were misreading in your recent state of hoping. You chuckled, deciding to not delve further into whether it was at yourself or the evident tension, lifting the cup to eye level to inspect how it caught the fairy lights, revealing various shades of brown, copper, silvery white from the plastic. 
“That one melody from last week. Tuesday, I think it was. The one where you had the synth riff and the humming. And then the lyrical refrain you told me you wrote while waiting for me by the bakery,” he gleamed, soul growing warmer from your recollection. You fiddled with the cardboard holder, Hongjoong’s burning look proving to be too much to handle.
“I swear, you can read my mind,” you could not help but exhale sharply, bemused at the suggestion. If anything, you were convinced of the opposite. There were few times when you were certain of what was going on in Hongjoong’s beautiful mind. Be it a new project or creative adventure that he was embarking on, or an entirely different experiment, or a surprise that you could not even begin to conjure ideas about. He was a mystery, but that was one of the many things you loved about him. Your reaction earned you a raise of the eyebrow and a light tap on your shoulder, making you finally turn towards your friend, only for the intensity of his eyes to be almost breathtaking, “what was that?”
“Nothing,”
“Am I wrong?”
“I mean… you do keep whole albums a secret for… goodness knows how long so…”
“I bet you know what I am thinking now,” his boldness took you off-guard, and you paused. Blinking a couple of times to adjust to the sudden shift in what was between you, so laden with an unspeakable force that you could barely formulate your own response, you regarded his outstretched arm, palm facing you, fingers together, all except the thumb. You squinted in suspicion, but failed to conceal the grin that was creeping onto your features as you moved to complete the hand hug. 
“Kim Hongjoong… what are you plotting?” words failed to leave an impact, it seemed, since your friend merely picked the cup from your hands to leave it beside his at the table. 
Pressing his palm to yours, he concentrated. You could not look away, not when you were going progressively more haywire with each passing second. He was not letting go, thumb beginning to dig into the back of your hand, and his gaze remained trained on you, only you. Right through you and into your heart. He was reading you and seeing your every thought about him - that was how the exchange felt. Hongjoong was picking apart your infatuation, inspecting it, living it. You felt exposed in front of him, and yet he would not allow you to let go. That much you were sure of. Unlike whatever he was mulling over. 
But you did not need to wait much longer for your answer, as, in a split second, your fingers were intertwined and he was pulling you closer and closer to him, his other hand flying to your shoulder to support you and prevent any falls. When you were only a couple of centimetres away, he stopped, as though all bravery had left him temporarily, and his eyes darted from yours, to your lips, back again, anywhere except your face and back to you, now staying. In this eternity of being in one space, sharing the same breath, searching for a future in the decision that was to come, you finally clear that no, you could not see anyone like this. Anyone except your Hongjoong.
“I'd say you can guess… maybe?”
“I don’t think I can,” coy, you responded, much to Hongjoong’s relief. You were you, the one he loved, and nothing was going to change that. This, just like any of the traditions, habits, memories you had made together, was the most natural, and most precious thing in the universe.
“Let me give you a hint,” a whisper, sultry, low was the last thing you heard before your worlds collided, and his lips were moving in a perfect rhythm with yours.
It was like puzzle pieces falling into place. Long lost soulmates finding each other. The sun rising after a thunderstorm. It felt like all the times that had made you and Hongjoong who you were, and who you were going to be. Your hand found purchase on the side of his face, his sharp jawline and soft skin in a stunning harmony against your fingertips. In every sense, it was him, and him alone, and you were blessed by the stars themselves.
Only when you heard the creaking of a chair did you pull away, and glimpsed Hongjoong cursing under his breath and muttering that he ‘hated this thing’ before he stood up, sweeping you away with him. You obliged, longing for his closeness. This was unprecedented, but so, so very welcome. A strong arm around your waist, and a quick push under the chin focusing you back on him, and you were back in bliss, in an entrancing tandem. The kiss was a revival, just like it was a revisitation. It was right. It tasted like the coffee and the late nights, it reminded you of the deep talks and the walks to nowhere and everywhere, it made you yearn for more and yet in the marvellous dance of your lips against his, you found it.
“What am I thinking?” Hongjoong asked as you broke apart, inhales pronounced by the chill of the early hour.
“You are thinking… ‘wow, this is way too close for comfort’,” you jested, chuckling when he scrunched his nose in mock frustration.
“Okay no you definitely cannot read my mind,” he answered, finding your hand once more, and lifting it to his own. Palm to palm. Digits to digits. Thumbs around to complete the miniature embrace. You watched, beaming. 
Hongjoong was closer than ever before, for you and with you, and your heart was about to burst. You regarded him, the love in his eyes and his every gesture as he rocked side to side, just how he knew you liked. Soothing, and always yours. He knew you and you knew him, and at the same time, never failed to find new beauty in one another and details to learn. Masterpieces, forever evolving, you were in this moment together, in this city, on this rooftop, in each other’s arms. Alive and in love. Through the silence, your voice travelled.
“So we are now hand huggers who kiss each other sometimes,” he laughed, breaking into your favourite grin, and leaned forwards until his forehead was against yours.
“Mhm. Sounds good to me.”
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There's Such a Sad Love (Deep in Your Eyes) - Prologue
it's finally time, friends!! here is the first part to my ghost!eddie fic! I am planning on getting the first real chapter up tomorrow, and the rest as they are done! I'd like to have this done by halloween but we'll see if i continue to have the spoons for this story thanks for reading! 🙌🥰👻
pairing: steddie | rated: M | on AO3
CWs for this chapter include: mentions of suicide/ideations as part of chrissy's backstory, and depictions of violence but nothing graphic!
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He’s spoken with her a lot since he died, the Moon.
She’s lovely, beautiful, bright, and loves her monsters (Eddie still doesn’t quite know what that means, are monsters real? …Well…he is a ghost now…).
She was the first one he cried to when he realized what had happened to him, why it did.
Chrissy was his better half, his soulmate, his sister, his best friend.
He’d found her afterwards, his first thought being how could he have not known? He could understand anyone else not knowing, not knowing her like he did, but even he didn’t know.
He’d found her letter just as her boyfriend found him.
Eddie replays his last few minutes on the mortal plane over and over again in his head in the years afterwards, starting with the front door to his trailer being blown open in the wake of Jason Carver’s entrance…
“Carver! Jason, I–I’m so sorry…”
“What’d you do to her, freak?”
“What? Nothing! I’d never—I just found her letter—”
He can remember that he was hit in that moment, struck across the face lightning fast, but he can no longer remember the pain.
Probably a good thing too, for what was to come. 
“Oh yeah, sure, like anyone’s going to believe that.”
Another hit.
Another.
Another.
Over and over again until eventually, Eddie’s memory goes sideways; his sight is blurry, but clear enough to tell he was now on the floor.
He’s faced towards Jason’s legs, watches as they shuffle and bend to pick up something.
Wait, Eddie was holding something earlier wasn’t he? Something important?
His vision starts fading out, still watching as Jason’s legs back away from him, then turn sharply to run out the open door.
Tired, Eddie succumbs to the darkness; his last thought being that Wayne was going to be the one to find them both.
“A tale as old as time, I suppose.” he had told the moon one night of the thousands he must’ve been through at this point, “Blame the Freak, right?”
Her words of love and encouragement normally helped soothe his soul, but there were some nights where he just couldn’t let the injustice go, it wasn’t fucking fair!
In the end, Jason got second degree murder. Eddie got a plain wooden box.
His uncle was left alone and heartbroken.
Jason only served a fraction of the time he was supposed to.
Eddie never graduated high school, never got out of this shitty town, never got the chance to make something of himself.
He had never fallen in love.
Now, he was stuck in limbo. Stuck haunting the empty trailer (he doesn’t blame Wayne for leaving), then the empty plot where it’d had once been, and now he’s the new Forest Hills Estate’s resident poltergeist.
Admittedly, kinda metal. When he was alive, he might’ve thought it’d be badass to one of the tortured souls he used to enjoy reading about.
Now it’s just torturous. 
It’s been 38 years of hell.
Three of people breaking in and stealing mementos of the trailer ‘that poor girl’ died in.
They didn’t even say her name.
Ten of watching his home crumble around him before eventually getting torn down on purpose, to try and rid Hawkins of ‘that boy what did her in’.
They don’t dare say his name.
15 of watching the whole trailer park fall to disrepair; everyone else leaves, saying they hear sobs carried on the wind at night.
In 2001, the land the Forest Hills trailer park was on is sold off and construction starts.
Eddie laughs with the Moon when he sees walls start to go up around him, a moment of sardonic reprieve.
“Is the town’s memory that short? Don’t they know this is where it all happened?” he asks her, but she was just glad he’d have a roof over his head again.
Joke’s on him, though, it wasn’t the town that built there, it was some private company that didn’t know the history. The town knew. They remembered. And no one bought the place (even with as large and lovely as the home was).
In the 23 years it was left standing empty, he’d had loads of fun messing with the teens who’d come around every fall. Daring each other to just go up to the door, to ring the bell, even to just step up the first step. 
Sometimes they managed to get in, and those were the best times, especially on Halloween.
Eddie found himself corporeal every October 31st. Some years he’d just answer the door nonchalantly when someone knocked, knowing full well his bruised and bloody appearance really added to the effect.
Some years they’d come the day before, and those were the best. He wasn’t fully “a person” again yet, just a solid black shadow. 
His power grows in the months leading up to the 31st, and he uses the extra juice to scream and wail, to throw shit around…it adds to the story a bit, though he’s realized in the last few years that the kids who come around looking for thrills don’t even know what he and Chrissy went through.
The first time he’d heard that, he’d nearly thrown a couple kids out a second story window in his rage.
Finally, one day in late winter while wandering the grounds, testing the limits of his haunting range as if they’d suddenly expanded out any farther overnight, he sees the bright red SOLD sign at the end of the driveway.
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