#it really is a stream of consciousness pour your heart out way to pray

[mountain-in-springtime]

all i ask (a sequel to lying eyes)

pairing: jake kiskza x reader, josh kiskza x reader | word count: 2.7k | warnings: kissing, cursing, p in v sex (pls practice safe sex!!!) | my masterlist | link to part one of this fic (lying eyes)

summary: you make the hardest decision of your life and bid your lover a proper goodbye

author's note: okay hiiii everybody!!! i'm here with a part two of lying eyes, which is probably my favorite fic i've ever written. i'm not sure if this one is as good as the first, but i really do love it. soft and sad shit like this is my fave!! also this isn't proofread (what fics of mine are tbh), and it's based on the song all i ask by adele, which i'll link below.

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Your bathroom was always too cold. The tiles that pressed against your bare legs were a harsh, uninviting white, and they were icy enough to make you shudder with every movement of your body. You tried to will yourself to remain still as sobs wracked through your body, making you tremble and shake as your eyes screwed shut and your hand clamped against your mouth in an attempt to silence your cries. Your hand gripped your phone so tightly you couldn’t fathom how it didn’t shatter into a million little pieces. Each ring brought a strange mix of relief and dread. You prayed he never answered the phone, but you desperately needed him to. Just when you had decided that it was one ring too many and moved your thumb to hover over the ‘end call’ button, you heard an all-too-familiar voice.

“Hello?” 

Your heart fell to your stomach.

“Jake?” you answered weakly.

You should’ve known that he would notice the tremble in your voice. “What’s wrong?” His concern was as unmasked as ever. He never hid from you. It seemed you had done enough hiding for the both of you. For the three of you, you remind yourself bitterly. 

“I just… I can’t do this, Jake,” you confessed, prompting a new wave of quiet sobs to pour from you. Your hand found its way back to your mouth, and your teeth sunk into your palm and the taste of copper washed over your tongue. It hurt like a bitch, but you couldn’t afford to be heard. Not yet. 

Upon hearing your muffled cries, your lover gently cooed to you. “Hey, hey, baby. It’s alright. I’m listening. I’m here,” he soothed, “What can’t you do anymore, love?” 

You stayed silent for a long while, forcing yourself to steady your breath and find your words before speaking again. “I can’t be away from you. I- I thought that I could do this. That I could go back to him and love him and be everything I was supposed to be, but… fuck, Jake, I just can’t. I can’t lie to him or myself anymore.” Your thoughts poured out of you in one long, pathetic stream of consciousness. 

You heard a long sigh from the other line before Jake gave an answer you never expected: “He loves you.” 

“So do you,” you countered, too broken to ignore what was so glaringly obvious. It was the reason you called, and you both knew it. 

“I know,” was all he said in reply. 

“I love you, too,” you continued. The words stung with every syllable, but they were the truth all the same. 

He only repeated himself. “I know.” 

You felt your patience wear thin as you finally snapped. “Then what should I do? I don’t love him anymore. Not the way I did, at least. I don’t think I can anymore.” 

“I don’t want him to be hurt,” Jake sighed. His resigned voice sounded harsh and metallic as it echoed through your small bathroom. For a moment you thought that he was different, that this wasn’t the same man who held you all those nights and loved you so sweetly, but you knew that wasn’t the truth. You had felt the depth of Jake’s love, and you would be a fool to think that he’d regulate that affection to only one person. He cared for his brother just as strongly as he cared for you and probably stronger than you had ever cared for Josh. 

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted so badly to be angry and lash out, ask him why he didn’t want you anymore, but you knew that doing so would solve nothing and only drive old wounds deeper. Instead, you spoke evenly, trying desperately to make him understand. “Jake, if I stay with him any longer, he’s going to be hurt even more. You know that.”

The line went silent for a long time before he finally answered. “I know. I just… I wish things were different. I wish you had met me first. Things would’ve been so different.”

You nodded silently as if you had forgotten that he wasn’t in the room with you. Your head filled with images of shared beds, wedding bands, and the laughter of children with familiar sets of brown eyes. It was what you should’ve had, what you would’ve had if the timing hadn’t been so cruel. It was then as you mourned the life you never had that you made your final decision. 

“I’m going to leave him, Jake,” you confessed through the tears that began to resurface, “I have to do this. For myself.” You made it a point to add the last part, knowing he’d never forgive himself if he thought you did it all for him. 

“If that’s what you need to do,” he replied, his voice steady and sober. “Can I ask where you’re going to go?” The question hung in the air, answered before it was even asked. 

You nodded and sniffled loudly before answering him. “Can I come home?” 

His answer was immediate. “Of course.”

“Thank you,” you sobbed quietly, “I’ll call you before I go over. I have to go talk to him.” 

“Tonight?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. 

“I have to,” you confirmed solemnly, “I can’t do this to any of us any longer.” 

You heard a sigh echo through your phone’s speaker. “I understand. You’re gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” you assured him as you wiped stray tears with the heel of your palm.

“Okay,” he answered, though you could still sense the worry in his voice, “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied with a deep sigh.

After a moment’s hesitation, he spoke again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” As you hung up the phone, a wobbly smile crossed your features. You sat on the bathroom floor for a long while, silently holding your knees to your chest as you contemplated what you were going to say to your husband. Your mind seemed emptier and emptier the more you tried to think about it, and you decided that all you could do was tell him the truth. He deserved that much. 

You stood from your place on the ground, walking to the bathroom counter. You ran a hand over your face, which only exaggerated the smears of mascara that lay across your cheeks. Your hands found the taps for the sink, turning them on and splashing cold water onto your face. A loud gasp left your lips at the icy feeling against your skin, but it was what you needed to gather yourself. You grabbed the towel that hung next to the shower and carefully wiped your face and hands with it before moving to the door. Your fingers gripped the handle and you took a deep breath before pulling it open to reveal Josh slouched against the wall across from the room. He wore a solemn look on his face, and it was enough to break your heart. 

“Hey,” you greeted weakly, unsure of what else to say. 

“Hey,” he answered, “Was that Jake?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“I thought that was over?” he asked, but the resignation was evident in his voice.

“So did I,” you told him honestly, “I tried really hard for it to be.” 

“I know,” he mumbled with a defeated nod, “I knew I could only keep you for so long. I just always wished that I had more time.” 

That statement alone broke your heart. Fresh tears started to pour down in the path of old ones as you broke down before him. “I’m so sorry, Josh,” you cried, “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to do this.” 

He walked forward, pulling you into his arms. “I know,” he cooed, “I know you didn’t. It’s okay. I forgive you.” His kindness alone made you want to rip yourself apart. You didn’t deserve any of this. You had promised to love and cherish each other, and as a cruel reward for him holding up his end of the deal, you fell in love with his brother.

“You shouldn’t,” you answered him as you shook your head, “You shouldn’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it.” 

He shushed you and pulled you closer, his hand pressing your head into the comfort of his chest. “I could never be mad at you for loving, baby. That’s what we were made to do. Our time together’s just reached its end. That’s all,” he whispered. It all felt so wrong. How was it that he could comfort you when you were the one that ruined everything?

“I just don’t want you to hurt,” you murmured, your voice muffled by the thick sweater he wore. 

“I know,” he sighed, “And I’m not saying that it won’t hurt me for a long time, but I think we maybe both deserve a shot at being happy, don’t we?” He punctuated his sentence with a firm kiss to the top of your head, which only brought a new wave of sobs from you. You gripped him tightly as you nodded silently, unable to form any kind of coherent sentence. 

You stood there for a long time together, holding each other close as you wept shamelessly and Josh spilled out a few of his own tears. After you eventually both fell into silence, you brought your head up to look at him. His warm eyes studied your face with a mix of love and deep sadness, and you felt terrible knowing that you were responsible for both. His hand came up to the back of your neck, his thumb tracing small circles into your flesh. He wore a melancholy smile on his lips, and before either of you could think to stop it, you slowly closed the gap between you, your lips meeting in a slow, deep kiss. 

A groan rumbled in his chest as his hands found their way to your sides and splayed across your back, pulling you closer to him. You anchored one hand on his shoulder while bringing the other to the nape of his neck, toying gently with the stray curls that fell there. You were absolutely consumed in each other, skin burning hot through clothes as you molded into him. Once you finally pulled apart to catch your breath, you felt a panicked uncertainty wash over you. 

“Josh, we can’t. We shouldn’t,” you sighed, though it was unclear who you were trying to convince at this point. 

In response, he brought his hand up to cup your jaw. “Please,” he begged, his lips millimeters from your own, “One last time.”

You knew you couldn’t deny him. Even if it was over now, he deserved something like this, something to prove that all those years weren’t for nothing, that they weren’t loveless. You nodded softly, your eyes flitting up to his before pulling him in for another kiss. He moaned softly into you, and you felt him push himself against you with gentle need. You held each other close as you stumbled down the hall and into your bedroom. The sheets on the bed were still thrown about and unmade when your back pressed into the mattress. Your mouths stayed connected, afraid of what words would spill out if they parted. The longest you ever broke your kisses was for mere seconds to remove layers of thick sweaters and worn pajamas. His hands traveled across every inch of your body, and yours canvassed his own, knowing each touch would have to last a lifetime. It wasn’t until you felt him slotted against your entrance that either of you dared to speak. 

“I love you,” you whispered feebly, your hand reaching out to hold his. 

He took your hand eagerly and brought it to his mouth, kissing it gently before shaking his head, “No lies, pretty girl. It’s only me.” The sentiment broke your heart, knowing that there was still so much love between you, but not the kind that he needed. It echoed through your mind as he slowly pushed into you, a small gasp leaving his lips at the feeling. You winced softly, feeling the familiar stretch for the last time as you pulled him down onto you, nearly crushing yourself with his body weight. Your face was buried into the crook of his neck as he dragged himself in and out of you, only wanting to be close, not even chasing a high anymore. 

The way Josh loved was heartbreaking. It was so deep and endless and unconditional in a way that you had never understood until this moment. He was all light and good, even when his body and heart were consumed with hurt. It was more than you deserved, and you figured maybe that’s why you couldn’t last, but, in truth, it didn’t matter why anymore. This was the end, and all you could do was make the most of goodbye. 

Silent tears fell from your eyes and onto his shoulder, wetting his bare skin. You could feel his thrusts become sloppier, but they never quickened. He was desperate to memorize every inch of you, to remember how you felt for the rest of his life. It was all very slow and sweet and sad, which made it all the more surprising when the familiar knot in your stomach began to tighten. Soft moans fell from your lips, and you could tell that he sensed your oncoming high. His hand traveled down to where your bodies met, tracing deliberate, drawn-out circles until you both came undone. Your lips connected for one last time as he spilled into you and your body fluttered around him. As your highs faded, you felt him carefully pull out of you, the emptiness you felt seeming more devastating than ever. You moved to sit up, but he held out a hand to stop you. 

“Wait. Let me take care of you one last time, okay?” he pleaded, and by the look in his eye, you knew he needed this, too. If this was it, he needed to know that he had loved you right. Your eyes never left his as you nodded, watching him leave the room. 

When he returned with the damp washcloth, you found his touches to be as gentle as they always were as he carefully wiped between your thighs. He wore a sad smile on his face, which was an expression you were sure mirrored your own. When he finished, he had placed the cloth aside and leaned forward, his lips ghosting against your temple. He brushed a strand of hair away from your face as he pulled away, rising from the bed and getting dressed, allowing you to do the same. You grabbed a bag that you had hastily packed earlier in the night, and he followed you to the door. As you stood there with your things, you felt a strong need to say something, anything to him, but you were at a complete loss. No words could encompass how grateful you were to have loved him or how sad you were that you didn’t anymore, but maybe it was for the best that it was unsaid. Maybe it would only hurt more if the sentiment was shared aloud. 

“I love you,” he told you, his hand taking yours and giving it a final squeeze. 

You smiled weakly and nodded. “I know,” you replied, and somehow, you knew that was the right thing to say. It wasn’t a lie or a brush-off or anything. It was just an acknowledgment.

He returned your shaky smile as you exited your house. His house, now. You gazed back at it as you pulled out of the driveway, marveling at how nice of a home it was. It was funny how inviting everything seemed now that you were leaving, but you guessed that was something to be thankful for. There wasn’t a single bad memory that came from being with Josh, and as you drove away to your home, you silently hoped that he would have no more terrible memories at your hand. As the house left your view, you gave it a final wave goodbye, unaware that your ex-lover stood at the window, doing the very same.

taglist: @westernwoods @sunfl0wer-power @gold-mines-melting @alwaysonthemend @andtherestishistory13 @writingcold @sunandthemoontwinflames @livkiszka (send me an ask or dm if you wanna be added to my taglist!!)

#mal writes #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x reader #jake gvf #josh gvf #jake kiszka x you #josh kiszka x you #jake kiszka x y/n #josh kiszka x y/n #gvf fic #gvf #greta van fleet #Spotify

[princesscolumbia]

Uuuuuugh! Today was one of THOSE days! At least I got some decent Indian food out of it.

Have a chapter:

Ranma stood on the pinnacle of the wasted remains of Beryl's fortress, her Moon Crescent Wand held forth and tears streaming down her face. Her friends were dead, she knew that. One by one, they had sacrificed themselves so she could make it here in a last ditch effort to save the whole of the Earth. Rei, Ami, Makoto, Minako...this is for you! Summoning up every last ounce of power she had, forcing every bit of will in her tiny, teenaged frame into the beam of light that arced between her and the horribly mutated form of the would-be Queen Beryl, she somehow felt that, even though there was no possible way for it to be true, that her friends were by her side.

As Ranma felt the last of her life slip away into the cleansing fire from her wand, she saw Beryl's body fragment, then disintegrate into youma-dust. She collapsed to her knees, then dimly felt her body, still clad in her princess dress, thud against the rock of her lone precipice. As consciousness slipped away, one thought flitted through Ranma's head, I wish that my friends were still alive, and that everything were normal again...

She didn't notice as her Ginzuishou began to sparkle...

Ranma snapped awake. Sitting up quickly, he scanned the room he found himself in, he was...home. It was just a dream, he realized. He wasn't totally sure why he dreamt he was a princess from the moon, or why he should know four other girls that were somehow helping him, although he was sure the evil witch queen was symbolic of all the women in his life in some way.

He just prayed his mother never heard of the dream, though. Imagine how unmanly she'd find a white, lacy dress?

Usagi cradled the limp form of his fiancé in his lap. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful... "Why aren't her eyes open?"

Usagi heard Ryoga stepping closer to him. A friendly hand on his shoulder got no response from the sometimes-female martial artist.

"C'mon, ya stupid tomboy..." trailing off, Usagi hit himself in the head. He forced back tears and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I meant to say, you know, thanks. For helping me."

"I know I'm no good at this feelings stuff. I just couldn't tell you how much I love you." he realized that one of the droplets of water on Akane's face wasn't from the dragon spring. Another joined it as Usagi lost the battle with his tears. "C'mon, Akane, get up." There was still no response, "Akane?"

He couldn't even tell if she was breathing.

"AKANE!!!"

Usagi found herself sitting upright in bed, sweat pouring down her face, her heart pounding like a hummingbird was trapped in her chest.

"Usagi?" came the voice of her feline advisor, "Are you all right?"

Realizing she was indeed all right and once again fully FEMALE, the young girl nodded. "Nightmare." she stuttered.

"Must have been," replied Luna, "I haven't heard you shout like that in your sleep since...well, it's been a while." Usagi nodded, knowing exactly when the Moon Cat was talking about. "Was it...Beryl?"

Although the girl's face couldn't really get more ashen, the slightly confused yet pained look was replaced by one of deep emotional ache. "No. No, it wasn't about Beryl."

They sat in silence for a while, Usagi getting her breathing under control, Luna letting her charge recollect herself.

"Usagi?" Luna queried. She waited for the girl to respond with a 'Hmm?' before continuing with, "Who's Akane?"

"I..." Usagi's face returned to the confused and pained look, "I don't know."

Nabiki heard her alarm clock go off and slapped her hand down on the end table. Having missed the clock entirely, the morning tormentor continued to blare at her. Finally opening her eyes with a groan, she turned her head in an economy of motion that reduced energy expenditure to an absolute minimum. Fixing her gaze on the fuzzy blob that was making the noise, she lifted her arm, steered it like a drunkard over the blob, and let it drop. Mercifully, this ended the noise that was piercing her brain at the ungodly hour of...What time is it, anyway?

She blinked, rubbed her eyes with the hand not presently on the clock, and squinted in an effort to focus through the foggy blur that persisted whenever she opened her eyes first thing in the morning. 6:00 AM, she read, I don't care if the rest of the world gets up at this hour; this is cruel and unusual! Sighing, she plopped her head back on her pillow and merciful unconsciousness played tag with her. Her little game with Morpheus was interrupted by Akane's door opening and shutting, indicating her little sister was on her way out for her morning run. Dimly, she realized that the male (or mostly male) Saotome's would soon be awake and sparring right outside her WINDOW! Sighing and biting back the urge to just storm into their room and give them a good preemptive chewing out (for two reasons. One, Mrs. Saotome didn't spar in the morning, so it would be rude to wake her, and two, that was Akane's shtick.), Nabiki reached up to pull the covers off her chest, with the eventual goal of also kicking them off her legs.

It was about that time she realized she had something cool and metallic on her chest. Forgoing the covers for a moment, she grasped the metal item and lifted it to her eyes. What the...? she thought. Why do I have a key on my chest?

Suddenly, her morning fog was clearing much, much faster.

Rei sighed, leaning forward slightly on her broom and gazing wistfully in the direction of the school her friends were attending. While she certainly didn't miss the homework, her priestess duties kept her from being in the one place where all her best friends gathered every single day.

Not that she cared for the Meatball Head, certainly not. Little manga thief...

Also, there had been times when she was at the shrine while everyone else was at the school, or she was at her private school her grandpa had arranged for her and her communicator would go off, and she'd have to stay put, unable to protect her friends.

Of course, a certain pony-tailed ditz didn't make things easy on that count...

Sighing once again, she grabbed her broom and began to sweep when she saw something down on the street near the temple gates. She almost didn't think anything of it at first, but then it went by the gates again. The temple wall obstructed most of her view of the street, but what looked like an odd assortment of vehicles was heading down the street...right towards the school.

Hopefully Usagi would be late again and not have to face whatever this was, especially if it was a new threat.

Not that Rei cared about Usagi, of course not.

Nabiki normally ate breakfast with her family. Today, a mystery had presented itself that was so unusual that she felt forgoing the luxury of the early morning soap opera that was Ranma and Akane's relationship was very much worth it. She sat in her room at her desk, her laptop open and in front of her, the mystery key sitting on a piece of paper next to it on the left, her bowl of soup on the right. She picked up the bowl and slurped down a bit of it, not standing on manners since she wasn't at the dinner table. Let's see...symbol for 'woman'...nothing, she moused back to the search box and typed another string, 'Female', 'brass' and 'unlock', no...'feminine key'...EW! Quickly hitting back to remove the offensive and highly pornographic search results from her web browser, she decided to take another tack. Hmmm...the symbol for 'woman' comes from the ancient Greek goddess Aphrodite, she typed in a few keywords and hit 'enter.' Damn, still nothing! Well, nothing relevant.

Sighing, she sipped at her coffee. "OK," she muttered, "Nothing for 'woman,' or 'Aphrodite' as relates to a brass key..."

Why would someone have dropped a brass key on her bed, and how did they defeat the security measures she had in place, let alone getting into a house of martial artists completely undetected? Sighing, Nabiki gulped down more soup and began to gather some of her schoolbooks and other, less reputable books on wagers and numbers keeping. There was a light tap at her door, followed by Kasumi's gentle voice, "Nabiki, you should be getting ready for school."

Nabiki tensed up. She hadn't told anyone about the key, for some reason she had this incredible desire to keep it's existence secret. "I am, sis. I'll bring my dishes down on the way out, okay?"

"Very well, let me know if you need anything. Your bento will be on the kitchen counter."

"Thanks, sis."

As Kasumi's footfalls faded behind the closed door, Nabiki's eyes fell back on the key again. Aphrodite, goddess of...

Sudden inspiration hit and Nabiki and she did another search for 'goddess of love greek.' Aside from one very odd entry for a shrine in a neighboring ward for a Norse goddess of love, nearly every entry except the Wikipedia result came up as "Venus." Gulping down the rest of her coffee and soup almost absently, Nabiki tossed in a search string of, 'venus key.'

While no results came up with anything fitting the description of the key now in her possession, there was a couple of interesting articles from several of the various boards and clubs devoted to the Sailor Senshi. It seemed that one of their members was named 'Sailor Venus' and some theories about their abilities and where they came from. Not having time to do serious study, Nabiki bookmarked the search results and powered down her computer.

Almost as an afterthought, she shoved the brass key in her uniform pocket before leaving her room.

Usagi trudged into the gates leading to her school, not really ready to face the day. She had, for once, managed to get there on time, but at the price of her much-cherished beauty sleep. A couple of her classmates called out greetings, which she returned sleepily. As she was waving to Makoto, who was chatting with the only other tall girl in school, she noticed a girl in school uniform who would have nicely qualified as a member of The Ministry of Silly Walks. She was holding her book bag up to shield her face, making exaggerated 'tip-toe' steps, and occasionally bouncing off a tree as she aimed, only somewhat accurately, toward the front door of the school.

While Usagi's namesake was never very curious, her advisor's earthen counterparts were notorious for it. Disregarding the native lagomorphic tendencies ascribed to her zodiac animal and embracing the propensity Luna rarely practiced but Artemis did with startling regularity, Usagi altered her course and went straight for the strangely stepping girl.

While high school is a time when most people learn to become adults, complete with the acclimation to what some refer to as the 'social contract' of behaving more mature than one really is, there are some people who just never grow out of the child-like tendency of asking questions in a direct manner. Usagi, as you may have guessed, is one of these people.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a straight-forward, non-aggressive manner.

The other girl tensed up for a moment, then thrust her arms to her side, taking the book bag along with them. She faced Usagi and said, "It's no business of yours what I'm doing, Tsukino!"

Usagi's eyes bugged out, "Mia?!"

Mia's face was now turning red, "Yes, it's me."

"What happened to your armor?" fell out of Usagi's mouth. It registered to the part-time magical girl that she had never seen Mia outside of the armor since the girl had transferred in.

Mia started to growl a response, "It...what is that?" she interrupted herself and looked over Usagi's shoulder.

"Sorry, Usa-chan's usually not here on time, just wanted to say hi. Where was I?" Makoto said after waiving at Usagi.

"The American, Paul?" replied Kita.

"Oh, right. Well, he was cute, but he really didn't look all that good. I just don't remember what I saw in him..."

Kita grinned, "You mean other than the fact that he looks 'just like your old sempai?'"

"Hey," snapped Makoto with a smile on her face, "You take that back!" She proceeded to put the other girl in a headlock. They began laughing, until they both saw...

"What is that?!" burst Kita from under Makoto's arm.

"...and I'm like, 'Oh, my god!'" said Minako, "And she's like, 'Oh, my god! And I'm all, 'Totally!'"

The cheerleaders that were gathered around the star volleyball player of the school simply giggled in the way that young girls do the world over as Minako's stunning use of vocabulary resonated with them.

Before Mina could continue, one of the girls pointed in the direction of the school gate and said, "Like, what is that?"

Ami was in the library, happily immersed in a book about higher functions of calculus, and so missed the whole thing entirely.

By the time the respective Sailor Senshi's attention had been drawn to the school gates (sans Ami and Rei), the entirety of the school's populous that hadn't yet gone inside stood gawking at a sight that was quite unusual for...well, just about anywhere.

A strange, somewhat futuristic vehicle that resembled a cross between a bus and a shuttlecraft from Star Trek: The Next Generation had pulled into the main courtyard of the school. Not in any sort of proper manner, following any of the proscribed paths, but straight in through the gates and right in the middle of the grassy lawn. Behind that were two smaller vehicles, rather like motorcycles but completely covered and with rather large cannon-style weapons on the sides, both bearing banners with a strange assortment of symbols that none of the students could really read. Behind them was a more platform like vehicle, with a large stage-like surface in front of the main cabin, which was actually positioned toward the back of the vehicle. Behind that was another vehicle, and another, and so on stretching for pretty much as far as anyone could see, all of them looking in some form or another very much like something one would find in a sci-fi series.

As the strange procession pulled into a parking position, a man in some sort of uniform hopped out of the lead vehicle and climbed up onto the platform vehicle. He slowly, seemingly reluctantly, grabbed a device from a compartment near the cab of the vehicle and shuffled out to the center of the platform. Sighing, he activated the device, which proved to be a microphone as feedback shot through the ears of everyone in the courtyard. It quickly died down, and the man began to speak.

"Sorry, that was unintentional. Atmospheric changes and all that. I..." he leaned away from the microphone and toward the lead vehicle, which had the head of another man sticking out of the driver's side door. While only those closest to the vehicles could hear what the driver was saying, the microphone was still on, so everybody heard, if somewhat faintly, the speaker's half of the conversation, "Listen, this is stupid...yes, I know it's orders, but the speech is ancient...it's downright archaic and you know it!" he waved vigorously in negation of whatever the driver said in response, "OK fine, whatever." He sighed and put the microphone back up to his mouth. "I bring the Court of the Moon Kingdom a message from the Mighty and Majestic Realms of the Riginium Empire, all hail the Emperor, may he continue to rule for time and all eternity. The message from the Emperor is this; We bring you greetings and good wishes, Queen Serenity of the Moon Kingdom. We wish to formalize the arrangements between our two states using the Anciente and Noble Practice of joining our two houses through matrimony."

At the mention of "Moon Kingdom," three faces in the courtyard went totally white, and they all thought at once, Oh, please don't mention Senshi!

As for the rest of the people, students and teachers alike, they were suddenly abuzz with newfound rumor. Some Emperor, from some far off country, wanted his child to marry someone from their school! They had royalty attending and didn't even know it! Suddenly the sight was less an oddity and more like entertainment.

The speaker continued, "And so, We present the heir to the Empire, the..." the speaker fought to keep revulsion from showing on his face, "The seed of Our loins, the hope and crowning jewel of all Our peoples, the Lord Prince Xavier Ba'heedan the Magnificent, the First."

As the speaker turn on his heal and fled the stage as quickly as possible, trumpets began to sound, or a very acoustically advanced sound system began to sound, there wasn't a single square inch of brass in sight. The next vehicle in line, the one behind the stage, trundled forward. It looked like a sort of futuristic mini-bus, but with tank-like treads instead of wheels. The front split open with a hiss and voluminous amounts of steam as the music blared to a crescendo and a ramp lowered down to the grass. As the vapor cleared, a teenaged boy could be seen walking down the ramp.

Older women would have called him handsome. Younger women would have called him hot. Teenage girls would have called him (and were calling him) bishonen. Men would bowed to him, boys would have glared at him in jealousy. He was good looking. Every single girl on the lawn was suddenly love-struck. They knew that no matter what guy came along, his looks would always be a distant second to this paragon of masculinity. Calmly, casually, he descended the ramp. He held up a small device, panned it across the crowd, looked up and nodded in satisfaction, then clipped it to his belt. Then he walked. Girls began to swoon as their fantasies suddenly took them away to a thousand private islands with the gorgeous hunk passing through their midst.

Usagi was frozen in panic. She didn't know who the Riginium Empire was, she didn't care. She did know that as long as she, her friends, her family, and her school hoped to have a chance in hell of never being the direct recipients of a youma attack, their identities COULD NOT be revealed as Sailor Senshi. And here was this guy, who not only knew about the Silver Millennium, but had referred to her ancient mother by name, and was talking about some 'matrimony' thing that her brain was giving her all sorts of alarms for but she couldn't quite figure out why, and looked like he was headed straight for...

"Ah," he began in a silky smooth voice, "You would no doubt be Princess Serenity. Yes, you look just like your pictures. I am surprised to find you here, of all places, but no matter." He reached out, took her hand, and kissed the back in a gentlemanly manner. What girls watching the scene that weren't smoldering with jealousy sighed heavily, a couple even fainting. "I am Prince Xavier. I look forward to a long and joyous betrothal."

...her. Crap! "Uh..." she began to stammer, "That's nice and all, but I think you're mistake...WAIT A MINUTE, BETROTHAL? MATRIMONY?"

The prince was obviously surprised, "Why, of course. Did your mother not explain these things to you? It has certainly been long enough..."

"MY MOM DID NO SUCH THING! MY MOM LIKES MY BOYFRIEND! I..." it suddenly occurred to Usagi that he wasn't talking about her Mom, the one who made her bunny shaped pancakes, but her Mom, the one who'd been dead for a thousand plus years.

The prince took her sudden stop as an opportunity to speak, "Oh, is Queen Serenity here? We didn't detect her when we came..."

Suddenly, a technique came to Usagi, one that was perfect for dealing with just this sort of situation. It was cunning, it would be unexpected, and it would win her at least enough time to find her friends, who had conveniently disappeared, and it would remove her from the presence of Mia, who was looking far too smug. She didn't know where she came up with the idea, but she made a mental note to thank whoever gave it to her.

"TSUKINO SECRET TECHNIQUE!!!"

Prince Xavier stood blinking at the spot where Usagi used to be just a moment prior. "Hmph!" he sniffed, "That was hardly proper."

Nabiki sat casually, one hand in her pocket under the desk, idly turning the key while her lieutenants briefed her on their respective spheres of influence. She was running mostly on automatic, the mystery of the key consuming a good portion of her thoughts. She still hadn't revealed it to anyone, but she had an idea on how she might get more information.

"OK," she said as the last girl spoke, "It sounds like business as usual. For now I'd like to keep it that way." As a few girls groaned, she spoke up, "Hey, not only could the school use a break, but I think we all deserve some downtime unless there's a special project." The group reluctantly acknowledged Nabiki's decision, having grown rather accustomed to the rather steady influx of money that the general chaos they stirred up could provide.

The other girls had already started gathering their books. "Junko," the older girl looked up, "You follow the Sailor Senshi pretty closely, right?"

Junko blushed slightly as the other girls began teasing her. It was rather well known among Nabiki's lieutenants that Junko was a closet Sailor Moon fangirl. "Yeah, I do..."

"Great, hang out for a bit, would you? I've got some questions about them, my little sister's birthday is coming up soon, I want to make sure I get her something nice." This wasn't a total fabrication. Akane's birthday was coming up soon, and she did have a good sized collection of Sailor Senshi manga and other assorted materials, but that wasn't the point of Nabiki's query.

Once the others got out of earshot, Nabiki leaned forward. "So," began Nabiki, "What can you tell me about the blond girl? The one that's not Sailor Moon, that's Mars, right?"

Junko giggled, "Nope, wrong on that count boss! Sailor Mars has black hair. It's Sailor Venus that has the blond hair."

Nabiki knew that from her brief research that morning, but holding one's cards close to the chest was all important in information gathering. "Right, I don't pay much attention to them myself, this is for Akane, you understand."

"Sure thing, boss! Sailor Venus is the Senshi of Love, and she can kick some real butt too!" she scrambled in her bookbag for a moment and pulled out a magazine called Senshi Beat. She took a moment to flip open to a page, then pushed the magazine over to Nabiki, "See? That's a photo spread someone did of Sailor Venus last month." Indeed, it showed the fetching blond not just in a press conference, but also doing a bit of posing and even a few shots of her in active battle. Nabiki recognized that the girl had a little fighting skill, but only street brawler ability magnified by whatever powered her Senshi abilities. Nabiki didn't grow up in a martial artist's home for nothing, and she had retained her ability to gauge the fighting form, if for no other reason than to be able to set odds in a wager.

"That's great!" Nabiki said with false enthusiasm, "Do you mind if I borrow this?" she said, already slipping the magazine into her bag.

"Oh, sure," said Junko, "The next issue is coming out this afternoon anyway."

"Thanks, Junko." said Nabiki as she stood, "Talk to you later."

Ami was casting confused glances to the other students in the hall. When she had left the library at the appropriate time to go to class, the halls were mostly empty, but they filled up quickly and with a greater amount of chatter than usual. Not one to pay much attention to that sort of thing, she generally tuned it out. The first mention of, "Moon Kingdom" was enough to cause her to stumble, but most people ignored the nerdy girl when she stumbled. She began listening closer, but the reports weren't making much sense. Something about a prince and a bunch of strange cars and trucks and a few mentions of a funny man on a stage all blended together in a very confused jumble of references that Ami couldn't make heads or tails of.

Being more focused on attempting to cobble all these various thoughts together, she was taken by surprise when a hand reached out from the girl's bathroom and yanked her in. Her startled yelp was cut off when she saw Usagi's face.

"Usagi, don't do that! You frightened me!"

Usagi ignored Ami's statement, "Is he out there?"

Ami's bewilderment simply increased. "Is who out there?"

Now Usagi looked confused, "You know...him!"

Ami simply glared at Usagi, "Is this one of those conversations where I should find Mina to translate through Makoto?"

"Grrr!" Usagi actually growled, "Lousy traitors! They just disappeared..."

Ami grabbed Usagi's shoulders and shook her, "Usagi! Make some sense!"

The blond blinked at Ami, "Didn't you see what happened in the courtyard?"

Ami thought back to the very little she had glimpsed of the usual morning crowd on her way to the library. "When, exactly, was I supposed to see anything?"

Just then, the bell rang. "Aaah! I'm going to be late!" Usagi yelped. She charged out the bathroom door, leaving a very confused Ami behind.

Nabiki was putting her books away to head out to lunch. Sure, she didn't have anyone to meet today, given that she'd dismissed all her lieutenants before morning study hall, but she didn't really like sitting in a closed classroom when the entire lunch hour was available for her to enjoy the lawns and courtyards of the school, one of the few things that their pineapple-for-brains principle had done well and in a pleasing way. Perhaps there was something of good report in that be-cursed island Kocho Kuno always rambled on about.

Besides, it got her away from Tatewaki Kuno for a while.

This led to her enjoying her noon repast beneath a rather well tended shade tree as a light breeze cooled her face. She realized that she just hadn't had the time lately to just enjoy pleasant lunches anymore. Perhaps she should find a way to do her usual lunchtime business in another way, or maybe delegate a bit more. It was her final year of high-school, about time to find a local replacement anyway, someone she could hand the reigns of her rather well established little high school empire...for a 15% per annum partial ownership fee, of course.

Nabiki's pleasant thoughts were interrupted by a shadow crossing over her. She looked up to see an older boy, very likely a 19 year old, standing in her sunlight. "Is there something I can do for you?" she said slightly frostily. Her lunchtime was going so well...

"Ah, Nabiki. Still as cool as ever. I have a business proposition for you."

Nabiki furled her brow. She was hoping to dedicate time to the mystery key, not business. Still, business is business... "Before I deal with you, I really must know who you are."

"I graduated from this school at the end of last term. I heard quite a bit about your exploits before I did so, however, and I know you will be interested in what I have to offer."

Nabiki noticed he didn't actually answer her question, but decided to play his game. "I see, so what did you have in mind?"

"I have come to learn of a shipment that went astray," began the young man, "The company that was supposed to take ownership went bankrupt, and so the shipment is simply sitting in a warehouse."

The cash register bells in Nabiki's head overrode the alarm bells briefly. "What's the shipment?"

"I can't say that here, the materials in question are in rather high demand."

"OK," said Nabiki, "Why come to me?" She had dealt with mystery shipments before, including finding some rather well placed recipients that were very...generous to her for her efforts, but this mystery former student wasn't like any of her previous contacts, who she was very familiar with.

"Quite simply," said the stranger, "My associates wanted to avoid the more...heavily monitored sources of contacts. Your name happened to come up, and I knew how to contact you."

Curious, thought Nabiki, "I assume you want me to meet your contacts somewhere?"

The man simply nodded and relayed the location of a warehouse nearby.

"Fine, I have school to finish, I'll meet your associates later on, say, five o'clock?"

"Very well, I shall tell them to expect your arrival."

Ranma lay stretched out under a tree on the other side of the school. He had his bento napkin spread out over his eyes, his hands behind his head, and one ankle resting on the other knee, lightly dozing.

Akane looked up from her English homework, "It's rather quiet today, isn't it?" she observed.

Ukyo scratched down an answer for her math homework, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, sugar. I'm getting more work done today than I usually get done in a week."

Ranma merely grunted in agreement.

Ami was growing increasingly frustrated by the chatter going on around her. AP English was supposed to be one of her few refuges in the school from the constant chattering and nattering of the rumor crowd, yet today's favorite topic, the mysterious happenings that she had somehow completely missed that morning, was being endlessly debated by the others in her class.

"I just haven't ever heard of any 'Riginium Empire,' even anciently."

She now had a choice to make. Did she swallow her pride and show all the other geeks in her class that she out-geeked them by several orders of magnitude and thereby alienate yet another social group, or keep silent and have the unsolved mystery of just what the hell everyone was talking about plague her waking moments?

"Maybe they just changed the name of an older country? It's happened before, especially with revolutions..."

She at least had a better idea of what had happened based on the conversation. Apparently, some prince had walked onto school grounds with great fanfare and proposed to another student, one the other intellectuals in her class didn't like to much.

"That isn't the case here, if we can rely on the lackey's comments on the microphone. The speech he gave is apparently a very old one."

Her increased knowledge was obviously still not giving her the whole story. Why would Usagi have acted the way she did before class?

"I still say it's a hoax. After all, even if the Riginium Empire is real, the Moon Kingdom is obviously not."

Ami stiffened in her seat, her eyes suddenly as big as saucers. She had just added 2 and 2 and gotten 48. Without a word, she scrambled all of her supplies, papers, and books together, threw them into her bag, and ran out the door.

The rest of the class sat in stunned silence for a moment, including the teacher.

Ami poked her head back into the room, "Sorry, sensei. I...uh...need to do some research on...a sociology project." She was gone again before the stunned sensei could merely nod.

Usagi was doing her best effort to hide under her desk without actually leaving her chair. Pretty much the instant she had stepped into her classroom, her classmates were pestering her with questions, asking who the mysterious stranger was, and (the teenager rumor mill being what it was) whether she had gotten "romantic" with him or not, all conveniently ignoring her initial reaction and current vehement denials.

Just as she was about to burst into tears, two things happened.

The first and most welcome was Ami bursting through the doors and breaking very quickly into an impromptu speech in a vain attempt to get the teacher to let Usagi out of class for a bit. It was a vain attempt not due to the usual and expected reasons that no, other students could not just haul students out of class for poor excuses and Usagi's grades were slumping...again, but due to the second thing that happened.

Said second thing was presently swaying, for such a paragon of masculinity did not dangle or hang, on a well crafted tether, his foot through a loop at the end of the tether and one hand gripping the tether at shoulder height. Said tether was swaying just outside Usagi's classroom window, and a low humming noise could be heard, indicating the presence of some sort of craft holding the tether aloft. Every girl in the class was instantly up against the windows in effort to get a better look and (perhaps, just maybe) get their object of amore's attention. Even Ms. Haruna was stunned speechless.

"Fairest princess, I was hoping to...oh, dear..." the combined females of the class were devastated by the disappointed look on Prince Xavier's face. They turned to look to see what had upset their paragon of manliness, only to see Usagi's empty desk and the door to the classroom closing.

Nabiki sat in study hall, quietly soaking up information she considered vital. Said information had nothing to do with math, or science, or any of the other many subjects taught at the school, but more to do with the subject of the key still residing in her pocket. She was carefully paging through the copy of Senshi Beat she had received from Junko, earmarking pages with mentions of Sailor Venus. The teacher in charge had almost threatened to take the magazine away from Nabiki, but the mercenary girl had merely glared menacingly at the man, who quickly backed down without saying a word. Nabiki went back to her magazine with a secretive smile, making a mental note to give a bonus to whoever had dirt on the man. Or just give a bonus to whoever could dig up the dirt.

During the course of her research, she had learned what little Sailor Venus' fans could dig up. There was a strong suspicion that Sailor Venus was also Sailor V, who's crowning achievement was crushing The Syndicate, a crime organization in Europe with suspected ties to the occult. Since Sailor Venus' surfacing in Japan, Sailor V had simply vanished, and their costumes were remarkably similar, based on the few crime artist's sketches that existed from Sailor V's assault on crime and the photos taken since the first youma invasion four years ago. Nabiki had to admit that with the evidence at hand, it was quite likely true. Of course, rumors that Sailor V was still operating in Europe kept the crime activity low, so neither Interpol nor the Senshi were eager to make the connection.

Nabiki paused in her perusal of the magazine and stared hard at one of the images of Sailor Venus. Some fool cameraman with a death wish had gotten close enough to a battle between Sailor Venus and a youma as Venus was using one of her special attacks. The cameraman had to have been one of the pros, as the picture quality was high enough to clearly show each link in the chain Venus was summoning, the last link was actually in the process of forming from whatever the Senshi used to make their attacks. (Nabiki doubted it was Qi, they just didn't seem to be that good as martial artists) The chain wasn't what caught her interest. What she focused on instead was just above the Senshi's hands, hovering in space near Venus' ear.

It was a symbol, made of light, probably five inches across and six inches high. It somewhat resembled an ankh, though the bottom leg was straight down, and the top loop was shaped like a circle.

It exactly matched the symbol on her key.

The library was a place of studious learning. A place where the willing student could go and find portals to the unknown, adventures from long ago, knowledge never seen by minds so young in the history of the world. School libraries represent the greatest achievements of mankind from the earliest dawn of the species, condensed down to several thousand tomes and written in such a way that anyone of average intelligence or higher could, with a few hours of concentrated effort, gain insight into the secrets of the universe.

Consequently, it was the ideal place for Usagi to hide from her teachers and fellow students with inquiring minds, as it was the last place the bunny-haired girl would be caught dead in. She just wished she'd thought of it sooner. Or thought of it at all, as it was Ami who had dragged her into the library.

Usagi was presently fidgeting with her pencil case, trying to keep from making too much noise and getting them kicked out of the library. She had finally landed on a game of "balance the pencil," wherein she displayed some decidedly un-Usagi-like, totally not clumsy behavior of balancing four pencils, two pens, an eraser, a pencil sharpener, and two paperclips on all ten of her fingers, when Ami said, "Ah-ha!" in a definitive tone. This startled Usagi, who promptly dropped all ten implements, making a clattering noise that earned her a sharp glare from Ami. This was fine with Usagi, as Ami hadn't taken her eyes off her computer screen since they had sat down.

Ami dismissed her irritation with her Princess and turned her computer to face Usagi. "This is what I've been looking for."

Usagi felt her brain seize up at the screenfull of legalese. "Uh..."

Ami had apparently anticipated Usagi's lack of comprehension and continued speaking without a beat, "It's a treaty. More specifically it's a contract." Ami turned the computer back around, her eyes flitting over the text as she re-read the salient parts. "The contract is a mutual peace accord, where the Riginium Empire and the Moon Kingdom, who apparently shared a border when we had a functional space fleet..."

"We had a space fleet? Like with X-wing fighters and stuff?"

Ami rolled her eyes, "You watch too much science fiction. There's no such thing as an X-wing fighter." Ami ignored the disappointed look on Usagi's face and continued, "The peace accord says that the two kingdoms are to exist side by side, neither making any moves into the other's space without permission, so long as both sides remain loyal to the contract."

Usagi's brow furrowed, "So what does that have to do with this prince?"

"I'm getting to that," Ami said, "Apparently, it's traditional in the Riginium Empire to include in all treaties with other nations a clause that the Champion Prince of the Riginium Empire, who upon defeating all challengers on their home planet should..."

Ami never got to finish her sentence, because just then the library doors burst open. Framed in the doorway was Makoto and Minako, looking a bit henpecked. "Usagi!" Makoto burst out.

"No shouting in the library!" snapped the librarian, who had immediately come running when she heard the door open.

"No time for that now!" said Mina, "We've got a situation!"

Usagi stood up indignantly, "You...you guys just LEFT me out there!"

Makoto rushed to Usagi's side, "Yeah, sorry, I kinda panicked..."

"Me too!" interjected Mina.

"...but we've got to get you out of here! That prince guy has got some sort of device that he's using to track you. Right now the hall monitors've got him stopped at the end of the hallway..."

With that statement, all earlier infractions were forgotten. Usagi clung to Makoto's arm, "Get me out of here! Hide me!"

"Uhm..." began Ami, "If you'd just sit down with him..."

"That's why we're here." said Mina, plowing right over Ami's words, "I've got the cheerleading squad on standby outside the gates. They volunteered to provide a distraction while we get you home."

Ami spoke up again, "We really don't need to do this..."

"Great!" said Usagi, completely ignoring Ami as she raced for the door, "Let's get out of here!"

Makoto and Minako moved like a coordinated pair of guardians, which is technically what they were, and ushered Usagi out of the library and out of sight. As the doors clapped shut, a slightly frazzled Ami held her gaze forlornly on the spot she had last seen her friends. "...you all really need to hear about the rest of this contract..." she said to the air.

The librarian blinked at Ami, then at the doors. She sighed, muttered something about disrespectful students, and went back to her reshelving duties.

Nabiki stepped out of the school gates to find the mystery man waiting for her. "I hope this doesn't take too long," said Nabiki, "I don't want to miss my sister Akane's cooking."

"Ah, yes. That would be a shame, now, wouldn't it." replied the man.

Damn! thought Nabiki, I'd hoped he'd say something definitive. It was a rather obvious bait to anyone who knew of Akane's cooking, and even in her first year of Home Ec. class was infamous for the culinary disasters that she produced. I guess I'll have to find some other line of questioning. I know this guy wasn't in Furinkan last year, but I can't prove it without more information. Nabiki hid her frustration as she began walking next to the man.

Some time later, with Nabiki attempting several different lines of questioning to try and pull some tidbit about the enigma she was following and getting nowhere except further away from home, they arrived at the entrance to a warehouse building. It was now late enough that the sun was beginning to set. The windows, what few she could see, were dark. She glanced questioningly at her guide. "We keep them covered from the inside," he said, "This particular shipment is rather valuable, after all."

Nabiki simply nodded speculatively as he opened the door for her. Keeping her composure took quite a bit of effort, as some sixth sense was screaming at her that this situation was extremely bad news.

"No, she won't be doing an interview," said Makoto into the phone. There was a pause as she listened to the voice on the other end of the conversation, then, "I don't care if you're from Asahi Shimbun, you're not gonna interview her!" she slammed down the phone. Before she could even take her hand off it, it rang again. Makoto lifted the receiver, quickly tapped the switch hook, checked to make sure the dial tone came on, then set the phone on the table, leaving it off the hook. She sighed and walked over to the front door to help Minako.

"Listen," said Minako, "I understand you've got questions, we all do, but we really don't know anything about this prince character and what he's doing in Juuban looking for our friend."

"But if we could just ask her directly..." asked a student with a badge pinned to his uniform shirt that said, 'Student paper.'

Makoto gently pushed Minako aside, "Are you hearing impaired?" growled the tall brunette, "She aint talkin', not now, not later, not ever!" She used her height and every ounce of intimidation she could summon to loom over the student reporter. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

The boy, knees knocking, nodded, babbled something in agreement, and took off running.

Luna watched it all from the stairs, "My goodness," she said under her breath to Usagi, "What caused all this?"

Usagi sulked in her bedroom doorway, feeling like a prisoner in her own house. "Some prince showed up today. He knew about the Moon Kingdom and everything."

"A prince?" restated Luna in confusion.

Usagi nodded. "Some sort of empire. 'Rejonium' or something like that." Unseen by Luna, Usagi began absentmindedly flipping a coin through her fingers, once again casually displaying a level of dexterity the Moon Princess had never before possessed.

Luna blinked, looked back to Usagi from her vantage point at the top of the stairs, "Riginium?" she clarified. At Usagi's nod, she gasped, "Good heavens! I didn't even know the Empire still existed!"

Usagi, having her attention distracted again, dropped the coin clumsily, "You know about these people?"

"Oh, yes," said Luna, "It's a bit hazy..." they both shared an annoyed look, as Luna's and Artimis' swiss cheese memories were a continual bane to the Sailor Senshi, "But they were a neighboring kingdom. Very warrior-like, always issuing challenges and taking it as a personal affront if you didn't accept."

"They're barbarians?!" gaped Usagi.

"No, no," said Luna, "They were very well bred, with great knowledge of science and history being a large part of their education, along with training. No, it's more like the old dueling code here on Earth. A sort of 'gentleman's duel' to determine honor. To turn down a dual was considered a tremendous insult that could result in wars if the participants were in the right families."

"Great!" said Usagi, "And now I've got their prince wanting to marry me!"

Luna blinked at Usagi for a moment, then shouted, "WHAT?!"

Unfortunately, Ikoku Tsukino, Usagi's Earthly mother, came through the door at that moment, "I'm home from shopping! Oh, hello girls." she said with a smile as she saw Makoto and Minako. Usagi rolled her eyes and shrugged at Luna, who couldn't talk now without blowing her cover in front of Usagi's mom. The younger Tsukino padded down the stairs and said, "Hi, mom!"

As Ikoku went into the kitchen, Makoto automatically following to help put away the shopping, she said, "I had the most interesting encounter today. A small gaggle of girls came up to me and asked if I had betrothed you to a prince!"

Usagi, Makoto, and Minako plastered smiles on their faces, cringing inside as they forced out a giggle to join Usagi's mom in her laughter.

Nabiki followed her guide to the center of the warehouse, her hand in her pocket and firmly gripping the key bearing the Venus emblem. Not that it would provide a whole lot of protection, but a poke in the eye with a large brass key would have to hurt enough for her to get out of a bad situation if it came down to it. "So when do your associates arrive?" said Nabiki.

"They should be here right about..." they heard a door open on the other side of the warehouse and some male voices floated over to them. Nabiki struggled to see the newcomers through the dark of the warehouse. She saw them as mere shadows as they approached, but she could hear them as they came further in.

"...I just want to get this over with. I don't like dealing with unknowns."

Reasonable, Nabiki thought. One does not become a successful business person without wanting to know all the facts.

"Listen, the boss says that this guy can deliver, and you've seen him in action. You want to tell the boss he's wrong?"

Finally, the two newcomers stepped into the light of the single bulb that was lit in the warehouse. The both wore long sleeved shirts with high collars, clean, pressed pants and sport coats, and seemingly matching ties. Nabiki's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Sure, they could be just well dressed businessmen, but they could also be well dressed thugs.

The first voice, the man on the right, didn't answer his collegues question but turned to face the mystery man that brought Nabiki. "This kid is the one we're waiting for?"

The man nodded, and the other two men simply nodded and backed away. The alarm bells were suddenly screaming at her, and one thought began to echo in her mind. It was odd, as she had never heard the particular phrase before in her life.

The mystery man turned to face her as the shadows seem to darken around him, "You have succumbed to your greed. The path to your destruction has been chosen." His form seemed to twist, his clothes shredded as his skin took on a monstrous color. The man...no, the youma (for Nabiki had now recognized what she was facing) began to grow and shift, it's torso stretching obscenely into a twisted mockery of the female form. It's arms bulked up, shadowy tattoos slithering across the skin of it's arms until it resembled a dark parody of Yakuza markings. It's face stretched into something resembling a lizard, and it's tongue flicked own, showing that it was silvery and forked.

Nabiki had already began to step backward, trying to keep her eye on the creature and evacuate at the same time. The two men, she noticed, did not make a move to assist her or the youma, but neither did they act surprised. The creature took a lumbering step toward her on cloven-hooves and hissed at her. With that, Nabiki turned on her heal and ran, hoping to make it to the doorway and out onto the streets of Nerima, where some over-powered martial artist was bound to be wandering by.

She didn't make it two steps before a massive, clawed hand slammed her against some nearby crates, pinning her face first.

Sailor Moon ran like a woman possessed, anger etched all over her face. Jupiter and Venus kept pace a few steps behind, keeping a concerned eye on their leader as they leaped from rooftop to rooftop.

When it was just her mom asking questions, Usagi could laugh at the whole thing and almost pretend the whole bad day had been some sort of silly story she and her friends had made up. When the first reporter, followed by another inquisitive group of girls, showed up at the door, it went from silly to irritating. When Mrs. Tsukino noticed the phone was off the hook and placed it back on the cradle before Makoto could warn her off, it went from irritation to nightmare as the phone once again started ringing with call after inquiring call from newspapers, TV stations, friends, associates, dubious relations, relatives, and even a few wedding planners who all wanted to get in on the action.

Ikoku had finally taken the same route as Makoto and just left the phone off the hook.

Soon thereafter the press started camping out on their street, followed shortly by star-struck girls who wanted to inveigle their way into the inner circle of a girl who would soon be a princess of some sort. About an hour earlier, the Tokyo PD had finally been summoned to evict the paparazzi and fangirls, but the police efforts weren't entirely effective, and the occasional fangirl or really stubborn cameraman would sneak through the police line.

After the fifth incident (Usagi finding a fangirl with a camera in her shower, Makoto physically tossing the girl out the front door, Minako destroying the camera and the film), the once and future Princess of the Moon decided she couldn't take it any longer, gave her mom a flimsy excuse for staying with Makoto (which her mother, too frazzled by the situation to argue, agreed to), got to a secluded spot between houses she had used for transforming in the past, activated her Sailor suit, and ran off into the night, her fellow Senshi just a few steps behind her.

Sailor Jupiter could hear Venus on the communicator with Mars and Mercury. As there was no youma present, there was no reason to do an all-call, but that didn't stop them from calling in some friends to get together to find a way to get out of the situation, or at least cheer up Sailor Moon.

Abruptly, Sailor Moon came to a stop. Jupiter and Venus stumbled into each other, trying to brake their momentum. Moon stood silently for a moment, then slumped to her knees, weakly punching the roofing tiles beneath her. "Stupid prince..."

It was at that moment Sailor Mars arrived. "I came as quickly as I could..." she trailed off when she saw Sailor Moon, and was by her friend's side in a heartbeat. The raven-haired girl draped her arm over her friend's shoulders, "Hey, meatball head, what's with the long face?"

Nabiki could feel her ribs begin to creak as the youma held her pinned against the crate. Her feet were kicking ineffectually six inches off the floor while her left arm was pinned between her stomach and the crate, and her right arm was stretched out and had somehow managed to remain unpunctured by the creature's talons. Her head was turned to the right, where she could see the key she'd been holding with a death grip glint in the low light of the warehouse.

Abruptly, she felt a tugging sensation. Having spent enough time around Ranma, Happosai, Cologne, Miss Hinako, and other Qi adepts, she knew automatically that she was experiencing her first ever Qi drainage.

It wasn't pleasant.

Her face twisted in a rictus of pain and a strangled noise escaped her throat. Were she of a mind to objectively examine the experience, she would have supposed it was rather akin to having one's brain, eyes, throat, heart, stomach, reproductive organs, and digestive tract all being pulled out of one's body through the small of one's back.

Finally, through the fog of pain and withering, smothering darkness that began to envelope her consciousness, she cried out the words that had been rolling in her mind since she had entered the warehouse.

"VENUS PLANET POWER, ACTIVATE!"

Sailor Moon was crying into Sailor Mars' shoulder as Mars uttered soothing noises to their princess and leader. Mars wasn't able to make a whole lot of sense of what Moon said, but she did gather that it had been a very, very rough day and it all involved a prince that had showed up at their school.

Mars kept the boiling fury she felt toward anyone who would do this to her friend in check as she attended to Moon. "Tell you what," she said comfortingly, "If I ever see this prince guy, I'll Burning Mandala him, OK?"

Moon giggled weakly through her sobbing, and the crying was greatly reduced. Venus and Jupiter, who had sat down nearby, smiled encouragingly at Mars, knowing that sometimes all any of them needed was a good shoulder to cry on. At this rate, maybe they could go over to Jupiter's place and stay the night and let this whole thing just blow...

"Ah, Princess. There you are. That power suit certainly does give you quite the speed boost." Prince Xavier said as he stepped off what looked to be a hovering motorcycle. "Once we had pinpointed you on our scopes I must say even the captain was impressed by how quickly you were moving."

...up. Naturally, the prince once again showed his incredible sense of bad timing, right when they had almost calmed Sailor Moon down.

Sailor Mars flinched back in surprise when Sailor Moon growled. "YOU!" spat the Defender of Love and Justice. She shrugged off Sailor Mars and stood, spinning to face the prince. "This ends right now!"

Inexplicably, Xavier's face lit up in a grin. "Oh, excellent! We are going to do it the right way!"

Sailor Moon, enraged at the apparent disregard this stranger had for her personal distress, simply howled and charged at him.

The youma was thrown back, smashing into some crates and boxes. Blinding light pierced the warehouse as the echo from Nabiki's phrase faded away.

Nabiki found herself floating above the floor, spinning slowly as her clothes seemed to evaporate. She felt ribbons of light and color swirl around her body, gently caressing her curves until they took the pattern of a jumper around her torso and then abruptly solidified into a sort of fabric. More ribbons fluttered about her wrists, then became metal wrist bracers. A bit more of the magic swirled through her hands and fingers, finally forming fingerless gloves. She instinctively gripped down, making fists with her hands. She felt a caress of magic around her feet, almost tickling her as the sensation traveled up her ankles, finally collapsing to form boots. The energy billowed around her waist and suddenly formed up a skirt. She felt rather than saw the gem form on her head and the magic spread out to create a tiara.

After a moment of blinding light and change, Nabiki found her feet settling on the floor. She felt a power surging through her like she had never experienced before. She felt like she could lift a truck...no, a building! She felt like she could jump over a building!

Nabiki wondered briefly if this was what Ranma felt like all the time.

Ranma, grateful for the brief break he seemed to be enjoying, actually smiled as he punted Tatewaki Kuno a block and a half back to the Kuno mansion. A sudden sneeze distracted him briefly, but he blithely shook it off and sauntered off to the market to pick up the greens Kasumi asked for at the last minute. He decided to whistle a tune he'd heard once.

Three minutes later, Ryoga wandered by the same spot, face buried in a map of Kenya and completely missing the fact that he was in Nerima before disappearing around a nearby corner.

Nabiki was suddenly brought back to her surroundings when she was launched into a pile of boxes by the large fist of the youma. Pushing herself up and dusting off her fuku, she realized that she had taken a blow which should have shattered at least a few bones and was able to hop back up unscathed. Another phrase tagged her mind, coupled with some gestures that seemed a bit silly. Dodging a clawing blow, she realized that it didn't really matter if it was silly or not, the last goofy phrase that went through her mind worked out pretty good, so this one might work out as well.

"VENUS ONE YEN COIN SHOWER!" she shouted. From literally nowhere one-yen coins formed in the air, already flying at terminal velocity, and peppered the youma's body. The attack lasted a second, but to Nabiki's very well trained eye, it appeared that more than 4,000 coins had struck the youma, all at very high speed.

With a hideous gurgling noise, the monster shuddered on the floor, then collapsed into a pile of quickly dissipating dust.

Nabiki stood over her foe and basked in the victory. This spot belonged to Ranma, or Akane, or any one of the martial artists that crossed her life's path. Nabiki had never understood the thrill they got from pummeling their opponents to dust until now.

A scuffling noise interrupted her thoughts. She realized the two men that were part of this little trap were still around. She smiled ferally and turned toward them slowly.

Sailors Mars, Venus, and Jupiter watched in awe as their normally clumsy leader performed martial arts combat like a seasoned pro. Sailor Moon dodged, counterpunched, slid, flipped, and kicked with all the precision of a world class martial artist, at least first-dan ranking, if not higher. To Jupiter's slightly-more-trained-eye-than-the-others, it looked like the fight would be over soon, with The Moon Princess emerging triumphant.

Sailor Mercury skidded to a stop next to Jupiter, clearly out of breath. "What's going on...MOON, STOP!"

While Sailor Moon ignored Mercury in order to dole out a Royal ass-kicking, Jupiter held Mercury back from jumping in. "Hold it there, Water-lily, she needs to blow off some steam."

Mercury struggled to get free, "But you don't understand! If she beats him..." she trailed off and Jupiter turned to see why.

The scene seemed to freeze in time for a moment as Jupiter took it all in. Sailor Moon had her right leg extended upward in a quite vicious snap-kick, her face contorted in an angry, "Kia!" her arms in balancing positions and poised in the follow-through from her last punching combination, and her left leg slightly bent at the knee, her left boot planted firmly on the roofing tiles. Prince Xavier had two swords that Jupiter didn't remember him bringing to the battle stretched out, as though both arms had been swatted aside (which they probably were), his feet were inches off the roof, his legs bent as though interrupted in a jump, back arched, head tossed back and chin pointing at the sky.

An instant later, the tableau was broken and the Prince flipped through the air, slamming down on his back, swords clattering across the roof, clearly knocked out cold.

Sailor Moon finished the follow-through for the kick, resumed a stance, then realized the fight was over. She began jumping for joy, ecstatic that not only did she win a fight without her Senshi magic, she also creamed the guy that turned her day into a living nightmare.

Mars and Venus promptly began cheering as Moon began dancing around the roof with joy. Jupiter was about to join in their festivities when she heard Mercury's quiet, "Oh, dear..." She glanced at the blue haired Senshi and saw a great deal of concern etched on the other girl's face.

Kaneda hid in the shadows behind a dumpster. The chick the demon guy had brought had to be a Senshi, that was the only explanation for the light show and subsequent total defeat of their demonic contact. How in the world someone so powerful would land in a trap like that Kaneda would never know.

The senshi had already taken out Daiki. When the demon guy had gone down, the two had made a break for it, hoping to escape while the senshi cleaned up the mess. They didn't expect her speed, however, and Kaneda once again proved that you don't need to outrun the bear, you just need to outrun the other guy.

This led him to the aforementioned dumpster and hiding. He struggled to get his breath under control, hoping that he had somehow ditched the senshi.

He realized he'd have no such luck when a fingerless glove grabbed his shirt collar. His world became a blur as the senshi effortlessly jumped like a reverse pachinko ball up the sides of two buildings, quickly landing on the rooftop of one of them and standing on the edge, casually holding Kaneda at arms length. He looked down and nearly lost the contents of his bowels as he realized he was now seven stories up and the only thing keeping him from dying was a very pissed senshi.

"So," she said, "I've already talked to your pal. He seems to believe that you'll know more about your youma friend than him." She gave him an evil smile, "You can understand how I'm rather interested in more...information."

Kaneda had heard about this sort of situation. He now had a choice of death by falling or death by hitman when his bosses found out about him turning stoolpidgin. He really wished he hadn't gotten out of bed this morning. "I...I don't know..."

"Bzzzt! Wrong answer!" she let go with the hand that was holding him aloft. Before he could scream in panic, her other hand shot out and grabbed his shirt. "So, let's try again. What do you know about the youma?"

Death by falling was suddenly a much more immediate threat. "OK, OK! The boss has been in contact with these guys, I don't know a whole lot more than that."

Nabiki smirked. This was so much more fun than simple extortion. "So, you know nothing more? Let's say I remove my fingers one by one," she demonstrated by pulling her index finger from the fist gripping his shirt. The sudden slack caused Kaneda to drop a quarter inch, "Until we get to the point where my hand just doesn't hold you up anymore?"

Kaneda panicked and gripped the bracer around the senshi's wrist, hoping to avoid a nasty destiny as a road pizza. "'Retribution!' They call themselves Retribution! They're trying to form a syndicate with a bunch of the Yakuza families!"

Police sirens could be heard from down the street. For the first time since he joined the clan, he was glad to hear the sirens. Maybe the cops could talk this crazy lady out of dropping him.

"Retribution...forming a syndicate...that's it?" said the senshi casually, pulling her middle finger out of the fist.

"YES, YES! I SWEAR, THAT'S ALL I KNOW!"

Nabiki nodded, satisfied that the hoodlum was revealing all the information he had. She pulled some bungee cable from her belt that she had picked up at a nearby sporting goods store after she'd taken care of the other thug. 'Taken care of,' of course, meant that she had tied up said thug with a display case of cargo netting after throwing the thug through the window of the sporting goods store, setting off the alarm and summoning the police. "Next time you meet your bosses or this 'Retribution' they're so fond of, I want you to tell them that I'm going to be all over them like feathers on a duck from now on." She tossed the loop she already tied on the cord around a metal fixture on the roof top.

Kaneda scrambled to maintain his grip on the senshi's bracer, "Who...who are you?"

She yanked him close, so their noses were almost touching, "I'm Sailor V."

She abruptly shook him off her hand, and he screamed as he began to plummet to the ground. Sailor V was right behind him, having leapt off the building right after dropping him. She looped the cord around his ankles and used her senshi enhanced speed to tie a secure knot in the cable. She flipped mid-air and pushed away from the building face, letting Kaneda fall to the extent of the rope, slam against the building, and get yanked back up. Sailor V flipped again, landed in the street right in front of the incoming police car, bounced up against the building on the opposite side of the street, ping-ponged back and forth back up to the rooftops, and roof-hopped away from the scene.

Sailor Jupiter gripped Mercury's shoulder, "What's wrong? She kicked his butt."

"That's precisely what's wrong." said Sailor Mercury. "It's part of the standard treaty that the Riginium Empire signs with all it's trading partners and allies. It means that..."

She was interrupted by a groan from the now stirring prince. He sat up, shook his head to clear it, then boosted himself up to his feet. "Excellent!" he began, "I shall have the captain begin the arrangements immediately."

Sailor Moon stopped her victory dance and glared at the prince, "What preparations?" she snapped.

"Why, our marriage, of course."

"What are you talking about? I just kicked your butt like a youma!"

The prince let the Earth-bound reference slide, "That's it exactly. Surely your advisors have explained the ceremony to you."

Sailor Moon turned to Mercury, "Do you know what he's talking about?"

Mercury sighed and pulled out her computer again, "As I was trying to tell you, by agreeing to the ceremonial battle and proving your worth by defeating the Riginium representative in combat, you...er, provide full consent to the, um...matrimony ceremony to..." she lost her nerve toward the end of her 'explanation' and just waved vaguely at the prince.

Sailor Moon blinked in confusion at Mercury, trying to piece together what the other girl said.

Jupiter managed to decipher Mercury's words. The blue haired girl always tended to use large vocabulary when she didn't want to deliver bad news. "You're kidding!" Jupiter blurted out.

Sailor Moon looked frantic, "What are you saying, what's going on?!" She turned in panic to look at Prince Xavier.

He simply shrugged in that annoyingly handsome way he had, "Why, we're to be married tomorrow now that you've given your consent in the traditional combat ceremony."

Moon turned to Mercury to translate. The young genius looked down at the roofing tile, "He proposed, you said yes."

It was the punctuation mark to a very, very bad day. Moon's mind was overwhelmed, and she fainted. Her last conscious thought was, Please, please don't let it be the prince that catches me!

Sailor V flew into her bedroom through her open window and landed nimbly on her feet. She had a huge grin on her face, her breathing was deep, as if she had finished a particularly good jog, but she felt more like she had just deboarded the most intense roller coaster ever.

She flopped down on her bed face up, enjoying the exhilaration and afterglow. She was going to have to get more information about the senshi, possibly by going straight to the source. The magazines were good, but there was only so much they could actually dig up on the secretive super-group.

Sailor V reached up idly and ran her fingertip over the tiara that had formed on her forehead. She touched the gem in the center and was startled when her seifuku suddenly collapsed, leaving her clutching her transformation key in the same hand that was caressing the tiara. "Well," Nabiki muttered to herself, "That solves that problem before I thought of it."

She suddenly heard the latch of her door opening and dropped the key behind her pillow. The door opened to reveal Kasumi, who did a double-take and gasped, "Nabiki? I didn't know you were home."

The younger sister propped herself up on her elbows, "Oh, sorry 'bout that. I had some unexpected business that kept me late and I didn't want to cause a fuss when I came home. I snuck in just a few moments ago."

Kasumi blinked and processed what her sister said. Were Nabiki the type to sweat under preasure, she'd be drenched. She knew Kasumi was smarter than everyone gave her credit for, but she was also nice and polite to a fault. "Well, OK," began Kasumi, "I can warm up some dinner for you if you like."

"That'd be great, sis," said Nabiki, "I haven't eaten since lunch and I've still got studying to do."

Kasumi nodded and closed the door.

Nabiki retrieved her key from behind her pillow, gazed at it lovingly, and clutched it to her chest. "All this time I never knew...WOW it feels good to be one of the power-players!" Grinning broadly, she began to change out of her school uniform and into something more casual to go enjoy her sister's excellent cooking.

#nabiki tendo #sailor moon #sailor venus #sailor v #kasumi #ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #usagi tsukino #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #bssm

[vminvisiblestring]

HOLY. SHIT.

EVERYONE... SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND BUCKLE UP

im going back and watching certain destiel scenes in spanish (because for some sick twisted reason i miss being queerbaited what else is new) and i need to share my findings with the class:

let me start by saying that the word "pray" has multiple translations in spanish, but i'm going to focus on the two i know: orar and rezar

orar/ore/oración - this is a more "stream of consciousness" way to pray

rezar/reze/rezó - means to recite (be it bible verses or prayers or phrases) and are more "preset" prayers

now that we know the difference between orar and rezar, let's look at two destiel in purgatory scenes, specifically the lines:

"i prayed to you, cas, every night", "cas, i need to say something", and "you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer"

8x02 - "i prayed to you, cas, every night"

this scene with the spanish audio translates to

"yo te invoqué, cas, cada noche"

what word is missing? ore and/or reze

the word they use instead of ore or reze is invoqué. for my funky non-spanish speakers/readers/writers

invoque = invoke

and invoke is neither a stream of consciousness nor a recital, but more of a summoning

basically, the line "i prayed to you, cas, every night" when translated to spanish then back to english is "i tried to summon you, cas, every night" which is exactly what dean was trying to do

more than praying to cas so he could hear him, dean was trying to get cas to come to him (hence the search for him in purgatory) and we know dean was trying to summon cas because cas acknowledges deans prayer when dean confronts him, saying, "i know" but follows it up with "ive been trying to stay one step ahead of them to keep them away from you"

so dean was trying his best to summon and find cas while cas was trying his best to stay away from and protect dean...

15x09 - "cas, i have to say something" "you don't have to say it. i heard your prayer"

"cas, i have to say something" translated with the spanish audio is:

"cas, escúchame, tengo que decirte algo importante"

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIRECT TRANSLATION BACK TO ENGLISH IS FOR THAT LINE???

"cas, listen to me, i have to tell you something important"

cas. listen to me. i have to tell you something important.

now, we know what dean had to tell cas was important, that it was something beyond what he had said in his prayer, but we just insinuated it. the spanish version acknowledges the subtext and translated it into the actual text! BUT THATS NOT ALL FOLKS because cas's "you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer" response in spanish?

"no tienes que decirlo. oí tu oración."

what word did they use? oración. what did we establish at the beginning was the meaning for orar/oración? stream of consciousness. and what was deans prayer? a stream of consciousness! dean wasn't reciting anything and he wasn't trying to invoke cas, he started pouring his heart out. he let it all out: the fact that he gets angry and he can't control it, the fact that he blamed cas for no reason, the fact that he should have told him to stay. dean let it out in a stream of consciousness prayer to cas because he thought he was never going to see him again and he wanted him to at least hear what dean really wanted to say but couldn't, not until a moment of complete breakdown where he thought he was going to lose him again.

dean didn't pray for his own benefit he prayed for cas's. dean didn't want cas to die knowing dean was angry with him, dean wanted cas to know it was never his fault, he did nothing wrong, he didn't take him for granted, he wanted him to stay, and, most importantly, that he forgave him. in case he never saw him again, dean wanted cas to be sure he was loved.

so those lines translated to spanish then back to english:

"cas, listen to me, i have to tell you something important"

"it's okay, i know you have a hard time pouring your heart out. don't worry, i know what you meant to say"

and for my masochists, the more accurate:

"it's okay, i know you have a hard time pouring your heart out. i know you're going to say you love me. but i'm not ready to say goodbye to you, so i have to stop you from telling me what i've wanted to hear all these years. believe me, i love you too, with my entire being, i love you too. so dont say it. not now. i'm content just being anywhere with you. as long as im near you, as long as you let me be near you, i'm happy"

#destiel #what im trying to say is that the prayer scene is deans confession #he poured his heart out and then nine episodes later cas did the same thing #and if that was a romantic declaration of love then fuck everyone deans purgatory prayer is ALSO a romantic declaration of love #so yes destiel IS reciprocated as far as i'm concerned #and the craziest part about it is that DEAN confessed first which is so unexpected #also want to say i'm separated from religion now but i grew up christian and we used the word oración so i can say from experience that yes #it really is a stream of consciousness pour your heart out way to pray #and my dad is an ex-catholic and he grew up as an altar boy in mexico and when i asked him if there was a difference he said yes because #when he would rezar it was more reciting verses that they had learned so again “preset prayer” #anyways #destiel is canon #deancas #dean winchester #dean #castiel #cas #dean is bi #supernatural #spn #supernatural season 15 #spn 8x02 #spn 15x09 #spn the trap #damn it really is a trap huh? we decided to ship destiel and we fell into the ultimate queerbaiting trap with no way out #arcane spn collection: long post #spn long post

[cherishedkids]

fight || tokito muichiro x reader

anime: kimetsu no yaiba  warning/s: sad, spoilers from the manga, mentions of injuries and character deaths words: 1,686 pairing/s: tokito muichiro x reader request: “Manga spoilers to the ppl who didnt read the manga!!! au where Tokito Muichiro lives and gets a happy ending with a gender neutral reader?” -anon

A/N: thank you to the anon who requested this!! gosh ive been writing so much muichiro lately 😳 i hope you enjoyed this!

The sun streams in, touching everything in its path. You were no stranger to its harsh nature, as you saw countless demons die by its hand. But as its rays touch your own face, you are reminded of a new day. A fresh path was open to you.

Muichiro lay on his back, bandages wrapped around his body. It had been a few months after the brush of death with Kokushibo. Thankfully, the gods saw fit to let him survive. The most that happened was the loss of his right leg and a coma right after. You knew his body needed time to heal, but you had no idea as to how long.

The first time you saw him in that state, you almost cried. Forget the noble cause of fighting for others, forget eradicating demons; he was ready to give himself up for the corps. Those who witnessed him fight the demon praised him for his bravery and abilities—those who were still alive, at least. Hundreds of thousands of his comrades had fallen before him, cursed to die in their work. You were scared for him, yes, but the passion in his eyes burned, and you knew that he’d do everything in his power to kick into gear the death of demons. It was especially present in the fight with the Upper Moon One. He was fine when he left you that night, but the next day, he came back to you, unconscious and battered.

But he survived. And he conquered death. So many times, he was close to dying. So many times, tears fell from eyes, worried sick. So many times, you prayed for him to be alright.

Everyday, for the past months, you waited for him to awaken. You needed a distraction—something to hold on to while Muichiro was not available. So after the first week, you decided to build your own house. It was difficult at first; finding free lands, contacting workers, and getting an architect to make plans for it, but it would be worth it in the end. You expected a lot going in. Money wasn’t a problem, as Ubuyashiki’s family was eager to help its demon slayers, but the stress of the project was big. You devoted yourself to it, as the fantasy of living a normal life with Muichiro gave you motivation. Even the finest of details—what polish to use, the type of wood, and even the lacquers, you paid attention to.

It was all for Muichiro. You had no idea the pain he felt as he laid there, thinking it might be his last moments. You wanted to alleviate that, if only a little, with a promise of a home after he wakes up. If he even wakes up.

The project was long done, the house sitting pristine atop a hill. It wasn’t grand—just enough for a couple to live in. But even so, Muichiro showed no signs of stirring.

Exhausted, you sat back down on your chair and waited patiently for him to open his eyes. The staff at the Butterfly Estate had looks of pity on you whenever you visited them everyday, but you were used to it. If you had no hope for him, then who else would? His flickering light needed someone to shield it, and if it took years, you were perfectly fine with that.

Again, his face lay in a peaceful state. The airy-ness that it exuded was nowhere to be seen. He was fine this way, he seemed happy. But you needed him awake.

For the umpteenth time, you reached across to hold his hand. If you could take away all the pain he had ever felt in his life, you would. He did not deserve this.

“Muichiro… please, get through this,”

Like all the other times, he didn’t reply. There were no tears to escape your eyes. They had already long dried out. You let out a sigh, but you never let go of his hand.

Maybe it was how the sun rose to the sky, carrying light with it. Maybe it was how the moon sank down below, yielding to the superior being. Maybe it was just the result of faith and months of prayers.

Muichiro’s hand intertwined with yours. The force of this wasn't lost on you. When you looked up, his blue eyes stared back at you, full of life and confusion.

“Muichiro!” You almost hugged him, but you weren’t sure if he was well enough for big commotions. You stood up, shaking from excitement. “Hold on, I’ll call Kanzaki—“

His hand doesn’t let go of you. “Please, stay with me for a while,”

You sit back down, ready to answer any of his questions.

“How long have I been… asleep?” This question, you’ve been anticipating.

“About five months,”

“And the others, what happened?”

You swallow the stone stuck in your throat. “Kokushibo died after you lost consciousness, and, well…”

It was clear from your demeanor, and Muichiro understood and nodded. “So they all died…?”

“Muzan was defeated,” At these words, he turned to you, eyes widened. “Tanjiro and his friends and the water hashira are the only ones left,”

“While I was asleep, huh,” You didn’t know what he meant by that.

“At least you’re here now!” He returned the smile you shot him and pressed your hand to his lips.

“Yes. With you.”

After calling Kanzaki Aoi to have a look at him, she deemed him fully recovered from his wounds. Muichiro expressed sadness when he saw his right leg… or lack thereof, but shrugged it off.

“It was the sacrifice I took to see you again,” He said, and your heart rejoiced at those words.

Tengen Uzui, Kamado Tanjiro and Nezuko, Shinazugawa Sanemi, and Tomioka Giyuu were there to greet him. He was one of the people who risked his lives, so naturally, they rejoiced at his awakening. Tengen Uzui welcomed him into his retired life, and pointed at his missing left hand.

“We’re kind of the same, aren’t we?” He laughs, and Muichiro can only smile at his joke.

Shinazugawa and Tomioka regard him, but only Tomioka brought a gift. It was a sword, as he recounts that his was lost in battle.

“Just for protection,” He reassures Muichiro. He accepts the gifts and thanks him. You secretly hope that he never has to draw that sword in any sort of battle.

Kamado Tanjiro and Nezuko approach him. They were both older than the two of you, and their presence was full of warmth.

“Nezuko, the last I saw you…” Of course, he is dumbfounded. He missed out on a lot while he was asleep, after all.

“I know! It’s nice to talk to you as a human again,”

They don’t see it, but the look of contentment crosses his face.

He is eventually cleared off, and was given a wheelchair to sit in. While crutches were given to him, his other leg had atrophied, so he had to train himself to walk. Almost everyone in the Demon Slayer Corps retired after Muzan was defeated. Although some stayed, to protect the Ubuyashiki family. But that was out of your hands now.

You took him to the house you spent so much time working on. Of course, he was blind-folded, so he would not see the surprise. It was already afternoon, and you were sure that he was hungry, so you had to make this fast.

When you finally take off the blindfold, he stares at the house before him. He is silent, taking in sight.

“You…” He says, after a while. “Built this for us?”

You nod, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he gestures for you to come closer, and you do, waiting for him to say his thoughts. But instead, he grabs on to your kimono and kisses you. When you both pull away, he has a blush on his cheeks.

“Thank you, for everything,”

The both of you go inside, and his stomach rumbles. He doesn’t even try to hide it, as he whispers that he is hungry.

“Just sit tight, okay?” You rush to make lunch. Thankfully, you hadn’t thrown the head of lettuce that you ate the night before, and it was still relatively fresh. You get a pan and make his favorite food. It was chicken stew, complete with side dishes. After an hour, you pop out of the kitchen and set the table. He tries to help, but you disagree.

“You’ve been fighting for your life all this time, it’s the least that I can do.”

He smiles and sits back. He can’t deny the fact that he wants nothing more but to assist you, but he knows how long you’ve been waiting for this moment.

The lunch you prepared for him puts him at ease. It’s a reminder of the things that could be, and things to come. If anything, it reminds him of hope—of home. Of what was once his, but lost to unfortunate events.

As he sips the broth, tears start pouring down his face. He can’t contain himself, he just feels so sentimental that moment. When you see this, a look of worry crosses your face. Was your cooking that bad? But he waves it off, and wipes his cheeks.

“I’m just so happy that you stayed for me,” He admits, and you wonder just how long he was holding that one in.

“Of course I would!” It would not make much sense if you just left him just because he was unwell! But he looks at you with uncertainty. So you hold his hands in yours again. “I love you very much, Muichiro. No matter how long, or whatever happens to you, I’ll always be there for you,”

Something had changed inside him. It was tiny, and no one really noticed it. But you did.

“I love you too, ___,”

You were just so happy to have him back, and even if the future was uncertain, you had him with you. And that was enough.

The sun may have gone down, but you had your own sun in your home.

#kny #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #tokito muichiro #tokito muichiro x reader #muichiro x reader #tokito x reader #tokito muichiro hcs #tokito muichiro headcanons #kny headcanons #anime #anime x reader #happy ending :))

[iwoulddieforkeanureeves]

A Fateful Meeting (Part 2)

It had been about a week since you had seen John, but you couldn't get the image of him out of your head. His long dark hair, scruffy beard, and deep brown eyes. You sighed, reaching down to pet the unnamed pit bull that rested at your side. When John had left, he left the pup here, so you had started taking care of him as best you could while trying to keep up with school and work. You scratched behind his ears, smiling as the pit bull's tail wagged in response. You sighed as you returned to staring down your textbook, trying your best to study for an upcoming test. You rubbed your eyes, and realized you wouldn't be able to get much work done. You flipped off your light, and plopped into bed, drifting off to sleep.

However, your slumber didn't last long as you heard an unfamiliar shuffling that woke you up. You tried to ignore it, but John's words echoed in your mind. ‘The longer I'm here, the more you're in danger.’ You slowly and quietly got out of bed, and fumbled around your bedroom for something you could use as a weapon. You remembered a knife you kept in case of a situation like this, and grabbed that. Your bare feet padded along the hardwood floor as you exited your room. You paused, the shuffling no longer audible. The hairs on your neck stood on end as anxiety began to creep into your bones.

You jumped as you heard barking, you dashed towards the living room, where the barking originated. You saw a dark figure looming over your couch, where the pup was crouching and growling. Your grip tightened on the knife in your hand, your eyes going wide as you tried to think of the best thing to do.  You weren't totally helpless, you took Aikido when you were young, for self defense reasons, and you didn't want this person, whoever they were, to hurt that lovely dog. You slowly approached, but before you could attack the figure, you heard a gruff voice from your left.

"There she is! Get her!"

You froze, fuck! I didn't check the laundry room! You thought, narrowly dodging the oncoming blow from this new figure. You grabbed the assailant's wrist, using their momentum to flip them around onto their back. You looked down, and realized she was a woman. You swore as the first figure charged you, you slashed at his abdomen, and he grunted in pain. Before you could react, the woman below you swept your legs out from under you, your knife clattering to the ground. You grunted in pain, and fumbled for your knife, throwing a sloppy kick at the woman that managed to connect with her jaw. Burning hot pain shot up your leg as the man stomped on your foot, you let out a scream, but still managed to grab your knife with your hand. You slashed at the mans exposed ankle. You continued to fight these two in your cramped hallway, you did your best but you were slowly losing energy. You hadn't fought like this in a long time, and these guys were trained. You managed to stab the woman in the shoulder, but you were defenseless as the man came up behind you, clobbering you in the head with both fists. You felt shooting pain before your consciousness faded, your eyes fluttered shut and your hands went limp around the knife handle as your body slumped to the ground.

~

After kissing you, John had told the pup to, "Stay." And left, trying his best not to look back. Santino D'Antonio and his thugs were relentless, but he wouldn't let anything stop him from righting his wrongs. His eyes burned with rage as he remembered the image of his home in flames. Red hot anger boiled up inside of him, every trace of his old life was slowly slipping through his fingers no matter how desperately he clutched onto it. First Helen, then his car and Daisy, then his home. His photos, the bed where she slept, her bracelet, her cards. He sighed, pushing the memories out of his mind as he focused on the task at hand. He spent the next few days trying to stay low, killing or evading anyone that had taken up the contract Santino put out for him, while trying to tail the man and his hired hands.

Something that surprised him is that he couldn't stop thinking about you. Normally he was laser focused, hell bent on revenge, but he couldn't shake the image of you out of his head. Your brows furrowed together as you focused on making sure he was okay. There was so much kindness and care in your gaze, your hands so gentle as they brushed across his body. A pang of some unidentifiable emotion hit him, and he knew he had to see you again.

He wasn't expecting to arrive and see your door kicked in, the hinges loose and creaking as he slowly stepped into your home. The hairs on the nape of his neck stood on end as he drew his weapon. His mind was racing, did something happen to you? He wasn't a very religious man, but he found himself praying you weren't dead. There were obvious signs on a struggle, blood smears and droplets made a trail from the living room into your hallway, where most of the damage was. Holes in the drywall, blood sprayed on the walls and floor, in the center of it, a small business card was propped up.

John carefully picked it up and mulled over the contents. His blood boiling as he read over the cursive writing.

Mr. Wick, why don't you come down and chat with me? I have your lovely friend here as well.

Much love, Santino

He clutched the note in his fist, crumpling it. He perked up when he heard a soft whimpering from your bedroom, he went in and saw his dog laying on your bed. He let out a sigh of relief, at least he was alright. He wouldn't know what to do if his new dog and you both got hurt. He patted the pup gently on the head before standing up and glaring at the note.

He knew he shouldn't have gotten you into this mess, but it was his duty to get you out, safely.

~

You came to with a bag over your head. You mentally cursed, this was the last time you'd help a handsome stranger. You felt that you were bound, rope dug into your soft flesh. Pain radiated throughout your body, your head was pounding.

Suddenly, the bag was ripped off of your head, and you groaned, the bright lights hurting your sensitive eyes. You heard men in the distance growling in some language you couldn't recognize. Your head was spinning as a man grabbed your chin and pulled your face forward. "My, my, you're quite the cutie. Sorry about your head." A smooth voice rang out as the cool metal of rings pressed into your skin. Your eyes began to focus, and you saw the face of an Italian man with curly hair and piercing eyes.

You didn't reply, and opted to glare at him as you pulled your face out of his grasp. The mans smile faltered at your actions as he grabbed your face again, rougher this time. "Where is your friend? I have a debt to settle with him." He said, his tone much more threatening now.

You continued to glare at him, "I don't know what you're talking about." You snarled, trying to pull your face from his grasp again, but he tightened his grip, and slapped you across the face with the other. The heavy rings stinging you. You did your best to stay calm and impassive, but you were scared shitless. Your face stung with the impact.

The mysterious man laughed, "I think you do, miss." He shook his hand off, "My friends..." he gestured behind him, and the two people from your apartment stepped forward, "Might be able to jog your memory." The girl gave you a devious grin, and the man cracked his knuckles. "Unless you remember where he is." He stepped back.

Your stomach dropped as you saw the girl pull out a blade, "I really don't know where he is right now, I haven't seen him since I first met him." You said, your cool demeanor dropping as you let fear seep into your voice.

You closed your eyes as the woman approached you and started dragging her blade gently down your face and neck. You shivered, a tear rolling down your face.

~

John rushed into the building, hair slicked back, gun drawn. His eyes were laser focused as he made his way through the halls, tactfully taking out guard after guard. He had been running from Santino and those out for his bounty, but yet here he was, running directly to him. He had to, you were innocent and kind, and he couldn't let you get killed because of him.

He walked into an oddly quiet room, and whipped around and came face to face with Santino. He smiled, placing his hands in his pockets. "That woman, she's quite the fighter y'know." He began to pace around John, "Gave my acquaintances quite some cuts and bruises."

John glared, continuing to keep his gun aimed directly at Santino's head. "I was thinking... we'd repay the favor." John looked up as he heard a feminine scream above him. Santino gave him a sickening smile.

"What do you want?" He growled, glaring at Santino.

Santino simply shrugged, "Well, you know I can't just let you get away with murdering my sister. Even if it had to be done." He chuckled, tapping his fingers together. "It's so sad really, she was quite beautiful." As if on cue, another scream resonated out, and John cursed as more armed guards poured out from behind Santino.

He ducked blows, fought, stabbed and shot his way through the seemingly endless waves of men. He felt himself getting tired, he knew he had to get to you soon, before things got bad. He groaned as a man managed to pierce his shoulder with a blade, he threw the man over him onto his back and staggered out of the room, following the sound of the your moans and wails.

He kicked open the door with his foot, seeing you. His heart sank, your lip was busted and bloodied, dark lines of crimson littered your neck and collarbone. You had tears streaming down your face, and a large bruise across your forehead. The woman that groped him in the museum a few days prior continued to drag her blade down your delicate skin. He let out a guttural scream, throwing his gun down as he was out of ammunition, and tackling her to the ground, disarming her. John sprang up, adrenaline pumping through his veins at the sight of you being tortured. He turned around and clocked the man straight in the jaw before turning to you, quickly freeing you from your bonds and touching you. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)." He whispered hastily, turning back around to make sure the two were still sufficiently stunned before lifting you into his arms and hurrying out the building. He kept muttering apologies over and over again as he maneuvered his way out of Santino's base, keeping you safe.

~

You had lost a lot of blood, and you were floating in and out of consciousness. You felt warm comforting hands caress your face as you saw John's figure above you. You wondered if it was real or something your subconscious had presented to you.

His deep voice cut through, "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)." He whispered as he pulled you into his strong arms. You melted into his grasp, hearing his voice rumbling from his chest but what he was saying was inaudible to you.

You meekly grasped his black blazer as you saw your blood slowly seeping into his dress shirt, you felt your consciousnesses slipping from you yet again, seeing the crimson steps of the Continental in front of you before everything went black and you slumped into John's arms.

You came to, John's strong arms still laced around your waist as you both laid in bed. You gently touched your neck, your wounds had been bandaged. You pivoted slightly, turning so you could face John. He was still sleeping, you sighed as you noticed the fresh bruises absolutely covering his body. You couldn't believe he actually came and helped you, you thought you'd never see him again. You gently ran you fingers through his hair as you felt emotion welling up in you and a few tears began flowing down your face.

John opened his eyes, cupping your face in his large hand. "You came back for me." You whispered, nestling your face into his chest.

John cradled you in his arms, gently rubbing your back with his hand, "I'll always come back for you, (Y/N)." He laid a gentle kiss on your forehead. You held him tightly, never wanting to let go.

#john wick/reader #john wick x reader #john wick #john wicks dog #keanu reeves #keanu reeves/reader #keanu reeves x reader #keanu #parabellum #reader knows how to fight #fluff #angst #fanfiction #fanfic

[writingglade]

TMR Imagine #1

Title; Flares

Pairing; Newt x Reader

Request; None

Based On; TDC Movie

Warnings; Mild Spoilers for TDC (The Death Cure), mild angst, swearing, mild blood, alternate ending.

Words;  3597

Summary; You had to be absolutely insane, reaching for the flare gun as Thomas tried to pry Newt from your body as he attempted to bite down on your throat, driven mad by the flare.

Requests are open | Masterlist

Your back slams against the asphalt, sending a paralyzing jolt from your neck to your toes. A yell erupts from Thomas’ throat, unable to get to the two of you before Newt smacks the flare gun from your hand. If possible, you press tighter to the ground, using an arm to hold back Newt as Thomas attempts to pry him off of your smaller form. A vicious snarl bars past Newt’s clenched teeth - a sound so inhuman and unlike Newt that it manages to cause tears to prick in your eyes.

Thomas grunts in frustration, unable to pull Newt from you as you attempt to push him off. Your arm begins to grow sore, sending the other off to the side and ignoring the pain as Newt’s nails dig into your flesh. You want to cry, the flare gun close enough for your fingertips to make contact, yet too far for you to actually grab it.

“Newt!” Thomas’ voice comes out in a grunt, almost sounding like a sob as he almost falls back the moment Newt frees himself from his grip, “Newt stop! Stop! It’s Y/N!”

Thomas regains his hold on Newt, forcibly tugging his shoulders, knuckles turning pearl-white as he grabs onto him as strong as he possibly could. Newt practically roars, a mixture of drool and inky-black running from his mouth to your face and neck. The fluid almost burns as it makes contact with your skin, rivaling with the tears that fell down your cheeks in the struggle. 

“Newt! Please!” You sob out a desperate croak, Newt gaining leverage on your arm barred against his chest. “This isn’t you!”

His dilated eyes are unwavering, what remained of his honey-brown irises swimming in a pool of insanity. The veins popping against his cheeks swell, pulsating under the tight skin as his body lurches forward - teeth aimed straight for your neck. You swallow, closing your eyes as your arm flies from Newt’s chest and into his cheek.

Half of his face is smashed against your palm as he hisses, some last drop of sanity swimming to the surface in his now almost entirely black eyes. You let out a shallow, shaking breath, taking his moment of weakness to harshly shove him forward. Thomas immediately draws him back as you scramble to reach the flare gun. Whatever wave that hit Newt is gone and he begins flailing in Thomas’ arms - kicking and screeching, teeth bared and spit flying just about everywhere. Thomas’ body is tossed in every direction Newt flails in, nearly ending up on the asphalt on multiple occasions within a matter of seconds. 

At Thomas’ pained scream, you’re suddenly aware of the knife Newt had holstered at his hip. You bite down on your bottom lip, hand trembling as you hastily pick up the flare gun. Newt rips free of Thomas’ arms as he clutches his hand. With Thomas out of Newt’s view, his gaze lands on you and he lunges. You screech, barely managing to dodge out of the way before a shaky finger is placed over the trigger of the flare gun. Both the knife and Newt’s teeth are bared as he dives at you once more, missing by more than a long shot and crashing against the ground. 

A cry of pain slips past Newt’s lips, something sounding more like the teen boy from the glade and less of whatever the flare had turned him into minutes prior. He uncurls his body, rolling onto his back, hand clutching his chest as he convulses. Heavy pants cause the space between his ribs to erratically rise and fall, newfound tears beading down his cheeks. He looks around, rather, his eyes race and scan the smoke consumed sky. His cheek is skinned from his fall, flesh peeled back and blood not hesitating to dribble from the surface of the deepest cut.

A wheeze pours from his lips, back arching as his whole body writhed. “K-Kill- Kill me!” His words come out in a scream, choking through a sob. “Please! Just- Kill me!”

Thomas noticeably swallows, stepping towards Newt as he exchanges a look with you. You shake your head, Thomas nodding in agreement before his eyes flicker to the flare gun. You raise your arm above your head, ignoring the stinging from Newt’s nail-pricks and scratches. With a deafening whistling, the bright-red flare rockets into the sky with a stream of smoke. The brilliant burst of shimmering red reflects against Newt’s eyes, against the black coating his chin and running along his neck and jaw. He almost seems enamored with the bright light for a second, entranced even - as if it was the only thing he could see.

Taking a cautious step forward, you hover a few feet in front of Newt. Scanning his body for any sign of life, hoping he hadn’t suddenly had a heart attack and died somehow. His head snaps to the side, neck cracking with a sickening sound. You let out another sob despite no tears in your eyes, rather, it was a loud cry of exhaustion - not wanting to play another game of cat and mouse where you were the unfortunate rodent. However, before he has a chance to lunge at you for the third time, his body is encapsulated with a net of white electricity.

Newt screeches, immediately falling back down to his back. Gally lowers the gun, Brenda stumbling up the stairs - vial in hand. Thomas wraps his hand in the cloth of his shirt, looking exasperated before speaking.

“About shucking time.” He groans, creating some sort of tourniquet by twisting up his shirt fabric. 

Brenda grapples onto your wrist, forcing you to tear your gaze from Newt as flickers of electricity surge across his body. “Take it.”

She unclasps your fist, placing the vial of blue liquid in your palm, clamping your fingers around it. You swallow, attempting to stutter out a few words though nothing comes for a few seconds.

“Wh-what am I supposed to do with this?! I don’t know how to use this!” Your hands shake, attempting to give Brenda the serum back.

Minho groans, slumping against the stairs, “Listen, I don’t care if you’ve gotta cut the shank! Just get that clunk in his shucking system already!”

Newt stirs slightly, hoarse groan emitting from his parting lips as he curls in on himself slightly. Gally groans in frustration, nearly pulling out what little hair he had on his head as he practically snaps the gun he’s holding in half before aiming at Newt once more. You frantically wave your hands, signaling to Gally to put the gun down and that there was no need to electrocute the already suffering blonde a second time. 

You approach Newt, cautiously in case he lunged at you or tried to bite your ankles or something. For the most part, he seems to be drifting in and out of consciousness. You draw in a deep breath, stepping over Newt with one of your legs so that you’re standing above him before lowering yourself - praying to whatever god that might be out there that he didn’t suddenly snap into consciousness and decide to maul you. Your hands are shaking, tremors running all the way to your fingertips as you try to unscrew the vial.  

His weaning consciousness falters as his eyes peek open, black meeting the trembling gaze trained on his lips. You pretend not to notice, hoping that if he thinks you don’t know that he’s awake and could potentially kill you on the spot that he wouldn’t potentially kill you on the spot. 

“Easy Newt…” You mumble to yourself, tugging his bottom lip with your thumb as you part his mouth open.

The blue liquid trickles into his mouth, slowly draining down the back of his throat before he loses consciousness once more. His body grows soft beneath you and you find yourself numb to the rise and fall of his chest. You pat his cheek with his hand, softly at first before you’re practically slapping him.

“Newt! Come on, wake up!” You feel your chest tighten, your shoulders growing heavy, and your head beginning to spin as if you were tied to the blades of a helicopter for some reason.

You want to scream, you want to cry, for a second you think you do. Your heart is in your throat, your stomach twisting in knots as it sinks lower and lower into what seemed to be a bottomless pit. For a split second, you see white and then red and then black and then you feel as if you’ve gone blind. 

You squint, turquoise sky blooming in front of your eyes, cotton wisps of clouds tucking behind green canopies and gargantuan stone walls breaking into the sky like a city skyline. the ringing in your ears is replaced by boisterous chatter, several voices of anticipation overlaying over one another and created a garble of nonsensual speak. The ground beneath you shakes, following the sound of jumbled metal. A soft gasp meets your ears before the voices fall silent.

“It’s… a girl?” The voice seems almost repulsed, though heavy confusion is mixed in.

Your mind is racing around everything and nothing. You couldn’t remember anything. Not your name, your face, where you came from, or, most importantly, where you were. The sudden urge to sob tackles you like a pro-wrestler, and you find yourself wondering just what a pro-wrestler even was. As if on cue, the moment the ground shakes once more, the flood gates to your tear ducts burst open and you let out a guttural wail - still having seen nothing but the sky, yet unsure if you really wanted to see anything else.

Then it’s dark, that is, before your tear-plagued vision refocuses and you meet eyes with a squinting blonde male. Though his brows are tightly knit against his wrinkle-free forehead, he offers you a gentle smile. You feel a nudge against your shoulder, and you quickly grow aware of the aching in every fiber of your being. The blonde male looks up with a scowl, though he’s still leaning over you.

“Gally, quit it.” His accent perplexes you, however, you find that your tears stop the moment the softness in his voice, although he was scolding just whoever this Gally was, meets your ears.

He looks back to you, extending a hand. You stare at it for a moment before his hand twitches slightly.

“Come on Greenie, let’s get you up, alright?” He speaks softly, almost in a whisper, as if he’d talked any louder you’d shatter like an antique mirror.

You feel another nudge to your shoulder, this one noticeably harsher compared to the last. You hold back a cry of pain, the blonde retracting his hand for a moment as a frown creases his features.

“Gally…” His voice is dangerously low, and in complete and utter contrast toward how his voice had previously brought you comfort, you suddenly feel terrified. “quit it.”

He looks back to you, extending his hand once more as a smile washes over his features once more. “Come on now-”

He’s cut off when another face pops into your vision, significantly less easy to look at in comparison to the blonde. This must be that “Gally” person, or whatever. You internally scoff at his strange, tight-knit eyebrows and cemented-in, seemingly-permanent scowl.

“Get up.” He prods at with you with his foot, this time making contact with your cheek.

You clench your jaw, anger suddenly stewing in your stomach over his rude and dismissive behavior. The ground shakes once more and the feeling of anger quickly dissipates into fear once more. You push yourself up against the floor, scooching back until you can’t scooch back any further - meeting a wall with your back. The new person appears stern, though not unfriendly like “Gally”. You swallow nervously.

“Welcome, Greenbean.” His voice is somewhat gruff as he speaks, and despite the slight rasp to it - you find it somewhat comforting like the now, small-looking blonde’s. “You don’t got to be afraid. We aren’t gonna hurt you.”

He extends a hand, the blonde doing the same. “Gally” huffs, folding his arms against his chest. You snort without thinking as you stare at the pug-nosed man.

“Pouty.” You only mutter it to yourself, however, he quickly catches on that your talking about him and takes an abrasive step forward before being blocked by the arm of the newest male.

“Gally,” His voice is firm as he speaks, not even bothering to look at the now red-faced “Gally”. “enough.”

The blonde approaches you slowly, squatting in front of you and offering his hand once more. “Don’t be scared… I’m Newt.”

Newt? What a stupid name, what kind of name was “Newt”?

“I’m… I’m sorry?” Newt seems just as confused as you are when he speaks, brows knitting and smile falling from his lips. “Did you just call my name stupid..?”

“Gally” huffs through his nose, “If his name is so stupid, Greenie, then what’s yours, huh?”

You freeze. 

“Gally” snorts, almost triumphantly before you quietly quip back. “Newt is better than Gally.”

Newt fails to stifle a chuckle at his, smile returning to his face. “She’s got you there mate.”

“Listen here shuckface-” Gally growls before the guy in the middle grabs his shoulder, pain quickly flashing across his eyes. “Seriously Alby? You’re just gonna let this she-bean insult me like that?!”

“Alby” shrugs, “I mean, you did kick her three times.”

Newt sighs, “Come on Greenie. You can’t sit in the box all day, you know.” 

You hesitantly lift a hand, ignoring the soreness in your arms as your hand meets Newt’s calloused one. “I’ll show you around, alright Greenie?”

A rasping gasp comes from below you, causing you to quickly wipe the tears from your eyes before they have a chance to fall. Newt’s eyes flutter back open, still dilated but harboring the slightest hint of honey-brown. The black veins pulsating against his cheeks are fainter than they had been minutes prior. You swear your heart skips a beat as he blinks up at you.

“Y/N?” His voice comes out in a croak, just above a whisper - but it sounds like Newt.

You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face, you hardly feel the burning on your arm, in fact, you’re too busy feeling so genuinely elated that you could die right there on the spot. You quickly clamber off of Newt, offering a hand to pull him up - ignoring the tiny jolt of electricity that pricks your fingertips when his hand comes into contact with yours. You heave him up, the pain in your previously aching arm numbed by absolute euphoria. Newt is the first to initiate contact, pulling you into a near-crushing embrace. His quiet sob is muffled into your shoulder.

You hear a cough just as you’re about to return the embrace. You look over Newt’s shoulder to see Gally gesturing vaguely in your direction. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to ruin the moment or anything…” He pauses, “But what the shuck is that?”

Brenda follows his extended finger, Thomas doing the same. Brenda freezes, eyes growing to the size of saucers as she brings a hand to her face. She, for some reason, looks incredibly stressed. Then you become aware of the searing pain in your arm once more and curse yourself for having eyes and not resisting the urge to look. 

You want to vomit, you want to sob. Instead, you harshly shove Newt away, rolling up what little shirt sleeve you had and pulling at your arm to get a better look. You blink, once - twice - thrice. The black veins and purple bruising don’t disappear; you aren’t hallucinating. Newt seems to recover from the shock of being shoved away, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes before looking at you. You harshly yank down your sleeve, stretching the material and hiding what little wasn’t covered beneath your hand before Newt has a chance to see.

Minho pulls himself from the stairs, though he nearly falls back down as an explosion goes off nearby. “For shuck’s sake- Y/N? Are you… okay?”

You snap out of your mini stupor, quickly nodding your head. “Yeah! Yeah! I’m fine! But- uh…” You pause, looking over your shoulder at Thomas. “Thomas though! Yeah, Thomas… Thomas is injured!”

Newt’s eyebrows furrow, looking past you to see just how Thomas was injured. “Did- Did I do that?”

Newt pats around his hips, frowning when he doesn’t feel the knife. Thomas laughs lightly, walking over and placing his non-injured hand on your shoulder.

“It’s fine Newt,” He glances down at your arm from where he stands - totally inconspicuous. “I’m just glad you’re safe - we all are.”

Unfortunately, Newt notices the flicker of Thomas’ gaze, and his own eyes fall to your arm. “Y/N? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

You swallow, “Nothing’s wrong Newt.”

Newt’s eyebrows knit once more, “Bullclunk. Tell me what’s wrong…”

A laugh forces its way from your throat, “Re-really! Nothing is wrong!”

“She’s inf-” Gally’s voice is muffled as soon as Brenda smacks her hand over his mouth - just a moment too late.

Newt’s hand is quickly on yours, trying to remove it from your arm and pull up your sleeve. He doesn’t get far, only managing to pry two fingers from the death grip on your arm, but he sees all he needs to see.

“Shuck…” He sounds absolutely defeated, and for the first time since Alby died - Newt looks overwhelmingly disappointed in himself. “I’m so, so sorry… Y/N I- I didn’t mea-”

You quickly cut him off, “It’s fine! Look! Gally got stung and he’s perfectly fine, see? I’ll be fine!”

“Gally is immune.” Newt reminds through his sudden despair, “You- You and I-…”

“Hey! You two- it’s- it’s fine!” Thomas suddenly bubbles into the conversation, “As long as we can get the serum to Y/N, she’ll be fine. Let’s not stress.”

Newt suddenly grows stern. “Don’t try that with me Tommy! What if we don’t make it in time? What then?! You saw how fast it affected Winston! How fast it affected Brenda!���

“Come on guys- Let’s… Let’s not fight. We should focus on getting back to the berg and getting Y/N the serum.” Minho quickly interjects himself between Thomas and Newt, both beginning to grow red in the face with irritation - Newt more so than Thomas.

“Yeah, come on.” You quickly agree, Gally silently nodding. “Newt, please don’t worry… I’ll be fine.”

Thomas moves to stand next to Brenda, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. You were going to be fine.

Newt laughs, almost bitterly - despite looking as if the flare had never affected him, he suddenly begins to seem just a tad bit unstable. “Don’t worry? How can I not worry about you? Honestly, Y/N, educate me on how I can’t worry about the most important person in my shucking life.”

You swallow, “N-Newt… Please, not now. We can talk about this after we get the serum.”

Newt bites the inside of his cheek but doesn’t say anything further. Instead, Newt silently walks past the others. You hold your head in your hands, earning concern from Minho.

“Y/N? Are you alrig-” Minho doesn’t have time to finish his sentence by the time you start yelling.

“You- You- You shucking clunkhead! Can’t you see that I was- that I am worried about you too? I was so shucking worried about you! And what did you tell me? “I’ll be fine, Y/N.” do you know how much it sucked? “Kill me! Just kill me!” You’ve- You’ve got to be kidding me you- you idiot! You stupid shank!” At this point, you’re screaming in a fit of almost incoherent sobs. “Yet you have the nerve to tell me you’re worried about me?! That I’m the most important person to you? You wouldn’t ask the most important person to you to kill you! You-”

Newt cuts you off with an embrace, forcing your head into the crook of his neck. “Alright love, I’m sorry. Let’s go get the serum, okay? I’m sorry. Just calm down, please. I’m sorry.”

You choke back a sob, exhaling a shaky breath as Newt draws back, “You idiot.”

“Yes love, I know. I’m the dumbest shank around, I even manage to make Minho look smart. I’m sorry, so please, calm down. I like you far too much for you to be this upset with me…” Newt presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes you in, breathes in whatever tension was between the two of you.

Then he shifts, placing an almost clumsy kiss on your forehead - then your nose - then each cheek. Finally, his lips gently meet yours in a clumsy, awkward first kiss. He draws back once more, forehead resting on yours again before you give his chest a shove.

“Fine.” You huff slightly, brushing past him to join the others who were now playing some awkward game of rock-paper-scissors in attempts to distract each other from whatever kind of intimate moment just happened between you and Newt.

Minho coughs, almost not awkwardly. “Uh… Y/N?”

You scowl in response, but grunt as a means to tell him to continue.

“Why- why is the- where did-”

“He’s trying to say that it’s gone.” Gally cuts in, not refraining from letting his characteristic scowl fall on Minho.

“Clunk, I didn’t know true love’s kiss was-”

“Thomas, for the love of God, shut up.”

#tmr #tmr fanfic #tdc #newt #tmr newt #tdc newt #newt imagine #newt imagines #tmr newt imagine #newt x reader #self-insert #reader #reader insert #the maze runner #the death cure #the maze runner imagine #the maze runner x reader #tmr imagine #tmr x reader #death cure #death cure imagine #thomas sangster #the maze runner newt x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #the maze runner fanfic #imagine #newt lives

[finding-jericho-blog]

Empathy (Part Three)

characters: Josh (dbh) x human fem!reader, and a Traci (dbh)

warning(s): Graphic description of injury?

word count: 2,592

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I made this one extra long to make up for it! 

By the way, there’s a dilemma at the end of the chapter-- if you like, send me an ask with your decision (or reblog it and put your decision in the tags or something); I’ll tally it all up and that’ll decide what the reader does! You don’t have to participate, but remember; these characters’ fates are in your hands. >:}

Part Two

Part Four

Just as you were beginning to fear that it would never come, the bus you had been waiting on finally arrived, wheezing to a halt in front of your bus stop with a screech that might have been disconcerting if you’d really been paying attention. The automated doors hissed open and you wordlessly hauled Josh up to his feet and began to guide him towards the entrance, but he.. hesitated. It prompted your gaze to drift towards him, but his eyes were trained on the opposite door of the bus, the one that lead to the android compartment. “Don’t worry about that,” you uttered to him, and drawing his attention back to you. “there aren’t usually people on this late, anyway. If anyone does come on any say something, I’ll just tell them to fuck off.”

Seeming satisfied by this, Josh offered a meek smile and allowed you to lead him the rest of the way to the door. With no small amount of difficulty, you assisted him with stepping up onto the bus, but once he was inside he was able to maneuver himself along the seats for support until he finally slid into one of them, and you moved to sit beside him as the vehicle lurched forwards. It would be a few stops until you got to your destination, and the thought lit a fire of anxiety within the pit of your stomach; you could only pray that your companion would last that long. 

It occurred to you, then, that Josh had no real way of knowing where you were taking him, but he was trusting you completely to do right by him; and you sincerely hoped his trust was not misplaced. You would do your best, but you knew next to nothing about androids and how to repair them, though you were certain you could do it if he just told you what to do. Part of you wondered why you were going to all this trouble to save an android from deactivation, but as you recalled those dark, terrified eyes burning into yours with absolute horror, you knew you could have never turned your back on him and not been haunted for the rest of your life. Machines don’t feel fear. But he was afraid.

A sudden shift beside you drew you out of your introspection and enticed your gaze to drift over to the android in question; his head was resting against the window and his umber optics were darting around the city that was passing you both by, and you wondered momentarily if it was the first time he’d even seen any of this. Or perhaps it was the first time he could really appreciate it. You noticed then that his arm was tightly curled around his abdomen, and although you knew he couldn’t feel pain, his lips were down-turned in a slight grimace.

“How bad is it?” The words tumbled out past your lips before you could stop them; Josh’s eyes shifted to meet yours, seeming to understand your question without a need for you to elaborate. He must have been worrying about the same thing.

“It’s not very good,” he admitted, drawing his arm away from his torso, and you both winced at just how much thirium coated the sleeves of his jacket. “my central thirium conduit has been ruptured; some of my other bio-components have been damaged, but that won’t matter if I bleed out before they can be replaced.” The apprehension you felt when you heard this must have elicited a very physical reaction, because his eyes snapped up to meet yours; although he wasn’t nearly as equipped to scan the human body as, say, a caretaker model would be, he was still able to sense the slight quickening of your heart rate and the sharper breath you’d taken in response to his words.

Pursing your lips solemnly, you turned to face him more directly, a worry crease forming between your brows as you furrowed them. “What do I do? How do I fix it?” You had no idea what a central thirium conduit was or what it did, or even what it looked like, but you would do whatever you could.

“It’s...” Josh clenched his jaw. “It’s complicated, but I can walk you through it. First we need to find one, though..”

“Don’t worry.. I’ve got a plan.”

Three stops later, Josh was surprised when you suddenly urged him to his feet, and he followed you out of the bus where you supported him on your shoulders once more. His eyes darted across the vast, empty space with apparent confusion as you lead him across the open area, and only when he heard fuzzy, distant voices did he finally understand where you’d brought him.

“Oh.”

The junkyard was teeming with movement as damaged and/or malfunctioning androids wandered around aimlessly within its confines; some were struggling to crawl up the steep incline, but each time it seemed like they might make it out, they slid right back down to the bottom. No matter how many times they did, however, they tirelessly began the journey once more. It was a seemingly endless loop, and it was.. horrifying. Josh’s gaze was trained sharply on the sight before him, his expression twisted into a wide-eyed frown, clearly disturbed by what he was seeing. You felt a wave of guilt rush over you, white hot and far too heavy; you couldn’t have known there would be so many, though. You’d thought there would be one or two deactivated androids you could salvage parts from, but there had to be hundreds of wailing, damaged androids, all trapped here with no hope of escape.

It was a purgatory of endless suffering.

Wordlessly, you lowered Josh to the ground, and now that he was unable to see into the pit, his attention was solely on you. “This.. conduit thing, what does it look like?” You asked him as you lowered yourself onto your knees beside him; neither you nor him made mention of the junkyard, leaving what you’d seen unspoken.

“Central thirium conduit,” he told you, shifting his weight so that he could support himself with one arm. With some degree of difficulty, he shimmied his jacket down his shoulders and freed his arms of it before he began to unbutton the cobalt stained dress shirt underneath, and once it was completely unbuttoned, he shoved it down his arms as well, then rested back on his elbows. With his clothing no longer obscuring his torso, you were able to see the extent of the damage the drunken students had inflicted; all along his chest and abdomen, his dark, synthetic skin was unable to form, leaving it a pale, stark white. There were four or five indentations where the baseball bat had struck him, and the jagged, broken plastic and machinery was fragmented in such a way that almost reminded you of shattered glass. Blue blood was seeping through the splintering cracks of each one, bleeding through like a most vibrant ink, but the injury on the left side of his chest was markedly worse, with the thirium pouring from it at an alarming rate.

Reaching out, you gingerly rested your hand over-top the bleeding wound, but jerked your arm back in shock when the plastic suddenly shifted away, revealing his chest cavity and, presumably, the bio-component that he had been referring to. It looked a bit like a pipe, curved in a crescent shape symmetrical with his thirium pump, and it had hoses attached to it snaking off presumably all over his body, with one, large hose connecting it to his heart. There was a crack right up the middle of this pipe, gushing thirium out with ever pulse of his artificial heart. You were finding it… difficult to look at.

“It’s a bit like a human artery, it conveys thirium to the rest of my body. They’re all standard for each model, so you don’t have to worry about finding one that’s compatible.” Josh explained, remarkably calm despite what you were both witnessing, and you wondered if he was simply trying to soothe your growing anxiety. You could see why the rupture was a problem, though; a sufficient amount of thirium couldn’t possibly be making it to the other parts of his body with it bleeding out into his chest cavity like this, and you knew he couldn’t possibly last much longer, losing thirium at a such rate.

“Okay,” You uttered, shoving yourself to your feet. “okay, alright.. I’ve… I’ve got this, I’ll be back.”

Josh watched as your form disappeared down the slope of the junkyard, silently lowering himself to lay on his back. As his eyes drifted upwards, his attention was drawn to just how many stars there were, each one shimmering almost gleefully within that inky blackness, as if to welcome his newfound consciousness into the world. For a moment, he wondered how it was that he had never noticed how beautiful they were; he felt certain that, if he had just looked up and seen them, he would have woken much sooner. It certainly would have been a kinder way to awaken, that was for certain. Still, though, maybe this was how things were meant to be. He wasn’t sure he believed in fate; surely there were no cosmic forces out there deciding the paths of man-made machines, but nonetheless, he couldn’t help but think that maybe he was bound to meet you this way.

Or maybe it was simply his old, philosophical programming talking.

Either way, he was glad to have met you, even if you couldn’t save him. It was.. a comfort, to know that there were humans out there capable of showing such empathy to machines like him. He was… so grateful.

Your feet slid down the embankment gracelessly, and you stumbled to a halt whilst holding your hands out at your sides in some attempt to keep your balance. Once you felt secure, your [y/e/c] eyes darted around the junkyard with some scrutiny, a grimace having found its home on your features. All around you was a stream of constant noise, androids repeating strings of dialogue they had been programmed to say over and over until you felt you may go mad from being here for even such a short amount of time. You knew what you needed to do, but you didn’t want to be here any longer than necessary; a little voice in the back of your mind reminded you; this is their reality, this was their every day existence, with no hope in hell to escape. You felt a pang of sympathy, but you pushed it aside; for now, you needed to concentrate on finding that central conduit unit.

Finding a deactivated android wasn’t proving to be more difficult a task than you had expected it to be; you didn’t want to take such a crucial bio-component from the androids who were still active, partly because you were sure they would fight back, but mostly because they were already suffering enough. Most were barely hanging on, but they were still active, and they watched you with unreadable expressions as you walked by. Part of you wondered if they were all awake and aware like Josh was, if they felt as forlorn as you imagined they did. It was a horrible feeling, to think that they’d been dumped here without even the courtesy of shutting them down so they didn’t have to suffer; you didn’t think they deserved to be deactivated for simply being damaged, but that was better than being left here to rot, wasn’t it?? You realized, then, that the horrible feeling you were experiencing was anger; you were angry.

Gritting your teeth, your eyes caught sight of an unmoving form and gravitated towards it; by the looks of it, she was a Traci model. She was lying across a ragged blue tarp, face tilted up towards the sky,  her long red hair splayed across her shoulders. Her eyes were closed, and you thought that she looked strangely peaceful, despite the fact that she was missing both of her legs, her left arm, and the forearm of her right. Whatever had happened to her, it hadn’t been pretty; surely she was deactivated, right? With a healthy amount of uncertainty, you nudged the android with your foot, trying to see if she would react… there was nothing, no movement whatsoever.

Hesitantly, you leaned over her, your eyes flitting across her chest; okay… all you had to do check to see that the central thirium conduit wasn’t damaged, and take it out. It would be easy. Nothing to it. Just like.. taking a battery out of a remote, right?

Reaching out, you pressed your fingers against the skin of her chest, not nearly surprised when the skin and plastic shifted back to reveal the bio-component you were looking for. Her heart pulsed with an alarming crimson red, unlike Josh’s, which had been a healthy cerulean blue, but it pulsed all the same, which left you feeling a little disconcerted; was she not…? When your eyes drifted back up to her features, you found that her eyes were no longer closed; they burned into yours. Awake. Aware.

Stumbling backwards with a cry of surprise, you landed on your backside and scrambled back a few feet, but the Traci only sat up and watched you with an expression you couldn’t read. “I’m sorry!” You apologized, clenching your hands into fists. “I thought you were… Sorry, I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” she spoke, her voice ragged and plagued with static; it reminded you a bit of when you were a kid and you spoke into a fan, pretending you were a robot. “you can have it.”

“… What?” You remained in your place in the dirt, watching her with no small amount of scrutiny.

“Whatever you were looking for. You can have it.” A silence fell between the two of you. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand what she was saying; she was telling you that you could take the bio-component that Josh so desperately needed, but… Why? It would no doubt kill her. You couldn’t.. understand. As though reading your mind, the female android spoke. “I can’t stand another day in this place.” she explained, slowly laying back onto the tarp. “I just want to rest.”

Slowly, you hauled yourself back onto your feet, tentatively approaching the damaged Traci until you were beside her, where you quietly knelt down on the tarp at her side. Did she know what it was that she was offering you? That she wouldn’t survive you taking it? “But-- you’ll die..” You uttered, the childish statement leaving your mouth before you could stop it.

Traci laughed; it was a joyless, empty sound. “This isn’t living,” she muttered, her eyes darting to meet yours. “this is torture. This is day 40 of waiting for it to end already. Whatever you’re looking for, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it more than I can. Just take it. Please.”

You swallowed thickly, your eyes slowly drifting down to her exposed chest cavity; Josh needed that central thirium conduit, badly. For all you knew, he could already be dead due to how long this was taking you. But on the other hand… how was it fair to trade her life for his? Traci was just as awake and aware as Josh was, who were you to decide that her life was worth less than his?

What were you going to do?

(x) Take it from her. (o) Find another one.

#detroit become human #detroit: become human #detroit become human josh #detroit: become human josh #josh #Josh x reader #x reader #dbh

[pernatius]

The Forbidden Blade: Ch 15

Ch 14

“Please, I just want to understand.”

“Why should I dare to speak about my past with the likes,” She strides over to me, stops just a foot before me, and, before finishing her sentence jabs her bony finger upon my chest, “of you?”

Before I would have bitten right back, but right now I do not feel an urge to do so. Rather, I feel relaxed and prepared to take whatever she has in store for me. So I keep my eyes leveled to where I perceive to be her eyes under her blindfold with my back parallel to the doors behind me, without moving an inch.

“As we speak you have, for at least right now, have control of your emotions. Not only is the time allotted to do so is limited, but some of your emotions can still walk past your control.” Is what he had explained when I realized the frustration subsided, right before he had opened our bedroom doors.

That very same man, who had once whipped me until I felt my consciousness fade from me and now is capable of treating me other than a wild animal, now waits for me on the other side of doors facing behind me. Only because, “There are things you must do without me. One day you will have the responsibility of being the emperor and when that day happens, I may not be there to see it.”

“I will not force you to talk about, seemingly, personal matters. Rather, I am asking you.”

“Asking me? Is there some sort of fluke I am missing in this situation because just earlier I heard you thrashing around in your room, taking your anger with me out on whatever you could get your hands on.”

“People change.”

“Not in a few hours they don’t.”

“So, you admit that people do change?”

“I see where this is going and it’s not going to work. You may think just because I’m some old hag I can easily be tricked because she hadn't known better in quite some time. Listen here and listen well, I have lived for decades and in those decades I have learned when I’m being fooled.”

“But I am not fooling you. I genuinely am curious. If you’re somehow scared of me harming you then I’m not in any position to hurt you. In fact, if you call your men right now they probably will put a spear in my chest before I can even flinch. I’m not really much of a fighter, and if you have more of those warriors I don’t think even my teacher can handle all of them.”

“I am not frightened by some prince and his teacher,” she lets out a long sigh as her finger slips from my chest before continuing, “What I am frightened for is to show weakness once again.”

“Decades ago before I became a leader, master, and failed mother,” her breath shudders while she presses her hand on her stomach, “the desolate, infertile land you had tiresome walked through in order to get to us was once the home of thousands of my people. Huts twice as tall as me, various animals of all sizes ran across the landscape, water streams cutting across several of our villages, all frolicked in that once lively area.

I was a novice, young, and just as ignorant as you are now. That had been so, I listened from a hole above the hut to a meeting between your great grandfather and my teacher about a renewal of a treaty between both rulers over boundaries of the land and the trade between the two. It had been a simple task, one of which I had not been spotted by anyone related to the meeting, until the brittle wood beneath me began to split.

In seconds his guardsmen came out spewing from all around me. I ran for my life: dodging spears, arrows, and their blades. In my rush to safety, I had not noticed another pursuit after me.

Before I could blink, a black figure sped from my right and grabbed me. I thrashed in their grip and tried to scream for help even when their hand covered my mouth.

When I was dropped into my hut, the blazing fire from the bonfire behind me finally put a face on who had kidnapped me. The person I had slapped was not only your grandfather, but my secret lover too. In reaction, he made his infamous smile that always left me loving him more. I ran to him and cried in his chest.

For weeks he was either kept away in his room, or under the brute that was his teacher’s whip - that would always leave more scars somewhere on his body. So, it had been the first time since seeing him after getting caught stealing some horses for some fun.

“My grandfather and you were lovers? I have never heard of you before my teacher introduced me to you.”

“There is a reason I called our love ‘secret’. However, when I became pregnant with his child that word became meaningless. Soon word got out about our child having that infamous scar on his nose and what was once secret became public. When your great grandfather caught word he was furious. He wanted both me and the child dead as yesterday.”

“Why?” My true emotions began to seep out, which meant I didn’t have all day. The bird in my hand scratched and flailed its wings, forcing its way to escape, as it screeched.

“I was sub par to him. ‘Blemish,’ he would call me in his letters directed towards me. He only needed one, but of course he had to send hundreds. All while your grandfather, through his explanation in his letters, was being whipped far worse than before.

Something in your great grandfather must’ve cracked because one night he sent people to come find and erase the ‘blemish’ that was both me and my newly born child. Luckily, if you can call it that, my teacher knew of their arrival and came by my side to protect us. He had, which still amazes me after learning under him for years, managed to dodge and fight the armed me even with both his age and blindness. Though, he could not fight the men who seemingly kept pouring in. I could still see his lifeless eyes and the scream he made, inhuman it had been, as his blood moved towards me.

I ran away from the battle between the warriors of the tribe and the armored men with the empire’s insignia plastered across their chest - a sun. From left and right my people fell, lifeless, to the mud below me. Only a fraction were still alive, but were too shocked to move. My child wept and shivered in my arms. I, in my state, watched as one of the men yanked him from my grip. My heart wrenched and, before making the reason for my dread into reality, they pushed someone towards my child, who was crying desperately for his mother to save him.

The father of my child and lover had then stood before me, refusing to look at me. He then unsheathed a dagger.

No longer was our child crying. Instead, lay limp in the mud.

‘For the sake of Krala the deed is done.’”

Krala, who is the son of Dieus and is who the empire is named after. All of the military and my father came to the god to pray for their success in battle. Though, while I am the son of the emperor, there is a reason why I have waited until now to speak the name of my own empire. Saying that name leaves a foul taste in my mouth.  

“‘I suggest the remaining Crow leave this place.’

I ran with the remaining handful of my people into the Lonely Mountain, our current home and thankfully one of which your people dare not to touch.

Eventually I tore off what had been left of my clothing and made myself a blindfold, as to honor my teacher’s efforts.”

“I’m so sorry, but I don't like either of them. I simply don’t have what it takes to kill.”

“Maybe not, but one day you will be emperor and when you do the power you inherently will bring pain to thousands more. Families, as the Vancasters have continued to reign for generations, will be torn apart through your thirst for more power just like your family had done with me. I have seen it all throughout the years I have been truly alive. The Vancasters and death have gone hand in hand for hundreds of years. You people feed off of our pain in order to fuel your need for power.Half of what was once ours are now festering with Kralans.”“I understand your hatred of the Vancasters, but why keep me alive? You could have easily ordered one of your men to stab me with their spears, or left me to rot in the place you had found me in.”

“Because, no matter how much I desire to see you and your family dead, I know that there are things in this world that need you alive.”

#90 #chapter 15 #the forbidden blade #creative writing #writers on tumblr #short story

[a-screaming-good-time]

One-shot with my OCs, based off a whump prompt

“I can’t hold it much longer!” Michael screamed as a steady stream of magic pulsed from his hands, preventing the nearby skyscrapers from falling and crushing the innocent citizens below.

“Just a bit longer, Michael! Please!” replied Rosa, while ushering countless amounts of people away from the collapsing buildings. She had just pushed the last of the Sparrow City citizens out of the way when she saw Michael drop to his knees.

“Michael, are you o-“ She questioned before a long, pained howl cut her off. She raced over to her best friend’s side, Lincoln close behind her. There was blood everywhere. Pouring from Michael’s nose, ears and mouth, where his screams continued until he was hoarse. His eyes were almost completely rolled back into his head and his entire body was shaking violently.

“Help me...” He whispered, just loud enough for the other two heroes to hear. Lincoln gently grabbed the older hero under the backs of his knees and armpits, hoisting him into a bridal carry. His super strength and speed making it easy to grab Rosa and evacuate the danger zone. Cheers erupted from the crowd as the three heroes landed, the Mayor stepping forward to congratulate them first.

“Thank you to our fine heroes, Captain Sparrow, Prism and Archimedes!” He cheered. At the mention of his hero name, Michael stirred a bit, letting out a groan of pain as his clouded eyes tried to focus on Lincoln’s face. Both Rosa and Lincoln noticed immediately.

“I know it hurts, honey... We’ll be home soon” Rosa spoke in the voice she often used with her younger brothers, when they were little. She carded through his short hair, noting the heat coming off his forehead. Michael let out of weak groan and tried to bring his hand to hers before he lost consciousness once again.

“We have to go.” Lincoln snapped at the Mayor, his usual grateful and respectful demeanour gone. He didn’t wait for a reply before signalling to Rosa to hold on and flying away. He pushed himself to fly as fast as he could back to the base, almost crying at the sight of one of his best friends in pain. Even unconscious, Michael’s brows were knitted together in discomfort and small noises of pain escaped his raw throat. He’d never used this much magic in the time Lincoln had known him. Usually he used just enough to give him a headache or even the stomach flu, but not to this degree. Lincoln had been petrified when he’d seen the massive amount of blood pouring down his face, eyes wrenched back in his head like he was possessed, body shaking in seizure-like movements. He hoped the worst of it was gone. They arrived at their base minutes later, quickly making their way to Michaels room. Rosa carefully picked up the countless papers scattered across his bed, mostly recipes and poems from his home land of France, and laid him down on the grey comforter.

“I’ll get him some water...” Lincoln said, trying desperately to be helpful in some way. He was invincible to almost everything, he’d never had to deal with serious injury before. And what could he do? His team’s Healer was the one writhing in pain on the bed. He figured water was the only thing that would help and that he had on hand. Excusing himself to the kitchen, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with cool water before a harsh cry of Michael’s name came from the room he’d just left. He ran back to Michael’s room, dropping the glass on the kitchen’s tile floor. He entered to find the two other heroes gathered in the ensuite bathroom, Michael hunched around the toilet and Rosa stroking his back comfortingly.

“Hey...” Lincoln whispered as he sat down next to Michael. “Not feeling good, huh?”

“Yeah, no shit, Lincoln.” Rosa snapped, before realizing what she had said. “Sorry, I just-I’m worried. And stressed.”

“It’s okay, I am too. How do you feel now? Is it out of your system?”

The hero currently hunched around the toilet snorted. “I feel like merde.” He replied hoarsely. “But I don’t feel so nauseous anymore, just really fucking tired.” With that, Michael, assisted by his friends, climbed to the sink to wash his mouth out. He greedily sipped some of the cool water from the tap before he was escorted back to bed. His eyelids were heavy and he was barely coherent, but the soft comforter beneath him felt like heaven for his aching limbs.

“Will you stay with me?” He whispered. “It won’t be pretty but if you could-“

“Of course we’ll stay.” Rosa interjected “We love you, hermano.”

Michael tried to reply but all he could muster was a smile before letting the weight of exhaustion take him.

_______

“Make it stop! Please!” Michael begged to anyone he could find. He had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, which he desperately needed before his head had exploded in sharp pain, forcing into consciousness. He screamed as tears poured down his cheeks, clutching his head to make it stop. It was like a fire had started in his brain, he couldn’t hear anything except the roaring of his own frantic heart beat. It was just...Too much. He had to make it stop. He began ramming his head against the wall, each time bringing himself closer to relief. He suddenly felt hands gripping his shoulders tightly, wrenching him away from the wall and back onto his bed. No! Didn’t they understand, he had to make it stop! He started screaming louder, as the rush of pain returned and shot through his skull like a bullet. He could barely focus but he could just make out Rosa’s face.

“Rosa... please... make it stop.” He sobbed. She was crying too, watching one of her best friends try to bash his head into a wall was not a pleasant experience. Now he was just screaming, practically losing his voice between the hiccuping sobs, tears streaming down his face. She wanted nothing more than to end his pain, hold him close and tell him it was okay. Instead, she prayed. She prayed to God to make his suffering end. Much too her relief, the pain had knocked Michael out cold. Please, she prayed, let him sleep.

————

Cold. Very, very cold. Michael awoke shivering aggressively, feeling like his whole body had turned to ice.

“Rosa?” He mumbled. “Lincoln?”

The two rose from their chairs immediately, sitting on the bed next to him.

“Hey...” Rosa whispered, running her fingers through his soft hair.

“Cold...” he groaned, clinging to his friends. The two shifted closer to Michael, laying on either side of him. It felt amazing, like being beside two stoves, pumping out body heat. He smiled as his two friends hugged him tightly.

“Go back to sleep, we’ll stay.” Lincoln whispered. The security of his friend’s arms let him drift back into unconsciousness.

———-

Michael awoke the next morning, feeling okay for once. His head was clear, and he didn’t feel like vomiting, so that was a plus. His throat was kind of sore though, and his stomach was growling loudly. He should get some food. And water. But mostly food. He sat up quickly, ready to face the new day before almost crying out in pain. Oh my sweet lord, his body was aching. All his joints creaked, his muscles felt like they were on fire and somehow the pain seemed to be in his very bones. He sat back down as slowly as he could, his back still screaming at him. His little performance of arrogance seemed to have stirred the two heroes laying on either side of him. When did that happen? He could barely remember anything, just the pain he felt.

“Hey man, are you feeling better?” Lincoln asked, his voice thick with sleep.

“Yeah, none of my organs are trying to kill themselves, but I think I might have pulled some muscles.” He groaned as he tried to massage his neck.

“My tía used to give the best massages,” Rosa said “do you want me to try and help?”

“Yeah, please. My back is trying to kill me.”

Rosa laughed quietly as she and Lincoln sat Michael up, his back screaming in protest. They removed his shirt and set him back down on his stomach. Rosa careful kneaded his shoulders, neck and lower back until Michael was groaning with pleasure. He was almost in tears when she finally stopped, returning his shirt to him. His stomach growled again but he really didn’t want to get up.

“Come on, let’s go get some food cooking.” Lincoln offered. Michael began to protest movement of any kind but quickly shut up when Rosa added: “If you get up right now, we’ll let you be the backseat driver on our cooking.”

How could he refuse?

#whump #mine #michaelwhump

[thisismyroaring20s]

My track-by-track review of Pray for the Wicked (spoilers)

and by review I mean literally just my stream of consciousness while listening to the songs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If that interests you feel free to read on. (Update: the ratings are based on other Panic songs, not just songs in general)

1. (Fuck A) Silver Lining

I think this was the first song I listened to off of the new album, loved it then, still love it now "Out of the old, and into the new, we dedicate, this song to you" GREAT INTRO TO AN ALBUM, felt very We're So Starving-esque, except instead of 'don't worry we're still the same' it's 'we're different but it's fine' (you know what maybe it's more 'swear to shake it up if you swear to listen') and then you get slammed with FUCK A. SILVER LINING. heck yes fuck it up Bren. I like how he's like 'silver isn't good enough, we aiming higher dammit' Shoutout to 'Yonce. The bleep part at like 2:07 reminds me of the radio edit of Raise Your Glass by P!nk. This song is just a little too repetitive for me tbh 5/10

2. Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Does anyone know wtf the intro is saying? What language is that? Is it a language or is it gibberish? Someone help. I hear "ah-deh-jah". Chorus makes me wanna smash stuff, but that may be because of the mv. Again, what are these words? "mah-key-key-yeah" I need answers. Vocals are amazing, obvi. I like this song a lot, and it's my boyfriend's fav as of rn. Saturday, SATurday, SATURDAYEEEEE. YES. incredible tbh. 9/10

3. Hey Look Ma, I Made It

Wasn't sold on the intro at first, sounded boring compared to the others. "i'm a hooker selling songs and my pimps a record label" I love it, great line, was the first thing that I liked about this song. I really like the sound of the pre-chorus. "IF YOU LOSE BOO HOO, HEY LOOK MA I MADE IT" 😂😂😂 I screeched honestly. Chorus is super fun. "if it’s a dream, don't wake me" reminded me of Stay Frosty (shoutout to FOB, love ya 😘) "see it, I want it, I take it" reminded me of two things: 1. Emperor's New Clothes, lbr, "see what's mine and take it" and 2. Fireball by Pitbull "I came, I saw, I conquered or should I say I saw, I conquered, I came" IDK WHY DON'T ASK i hate myself for thinking of that too lmao. I really like the way the song ends, idk why, just sounds cool. As for the music video, honestly wtf. It just reminded me of glee and Ed Sheeran. lmao. I loved it though. Anyways, great song, fun as all get out 8.5/10

4. High Hopes

Yes that brass! 🎺 "didn't have a dime but I always had a vision" "I was gonna be that one in a million" A++ lines. I also live-tweeted/tumbld this song when it was released.

And I did this:

and Panic retweeted me nbd. Honestly I love this song sm, and I relate to it a lot because people are always like "you're never gonna make it (and I'm like "I don't wanna make it. I just. wanna. *guitar riff*" jk lmao) but my mom is like my biggest fan and believes in me a lot and I love her a lot. And I always feel like I do have high hopes for everything, and it doesn't always work out but like... you gotta try for what you want in life. And you gotta be you unapologetically. Okay, sappy time over. The stripped back part that starts at like 2:20 with just his vocals and the background vocals. I've ascended, that part is amazing and then the drums kick in and you feel it building 😍 YES. 9.5/10

5. Roaring 20s

Holy shit I love this song so much. Perfect anthem for the summer I turn 21. The sound of the band at first and then the piano joins in?! Hell yes. "the oddest of summers" would you say it's.. pretty odd?👀👀 lmao I'll see myself out. The line "maybe I'll medicate, maybe inebriate" really stuck with me for some reason, like I like it, but it also kinda concerns me. "Maybe I'll smile a bit, maybe the opposite" I just really like the way this sounds. "My telltale heart's a hammer in my chest" ya girl's an english major and we just studied this last semester, love it. ROLL ME LIKE A BLUNT CAUSE I WANNA GO HOME lmao. Super peppy, makes me wanna dance kinda chorus. "Oscars and Emmys and Grammys, everyone here is a trophy" honestly? Tea ☕. "Hallucinations only mean that your brain is on fire" I just like this line and wanted to point it out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The slowed down chorus is incredible, This. Is. My. ROARING. Roaring 20s. Can you tell this is one of my absolute favs on the album? Incredible. 10/10 👏👏👏

6. Dancing's Not a Crime

Started strong. Could tell from the first second this was gonna be catchy af. Shoutout to MJ, amirite? Lots of rhyming. Marauders. Harry Potter. "Dancing's not a crime unless you do it without me" adorable omg Bren ily. "Don't be throwin shade now"

Lmao, no but really, got a little repetitive tbh but adorable anyway. Honestly don't have much to say about this song, it was okay 4/10

7. One of the Drunks

Love the beginning. "orange juice" reminded me of 400 Lux by Lorde and I started laughing. I love the way he pronounces words in this song (esp "times" and "remedy") 😍 "Damn it's all good... I guess" relatable af. "high as the sun, uncomfortably numb" I just like this. The speaking at the end omgggg 😂😂"I SAW YOU FUCKIN LIFT THAT SAX UP TOWARD THE MICROPHONE! AND I FELL IN LOVE" i cried 😂 8/10

8. The Overpass

Um??...yes 😍 that big band opening? hell yea. "sorry to get sentimental tonight" but sentimental boy is his nomme de plume tho. "Someone still loves you" 👀 The song is super fkn catchy, i love it. "sketchy girls and lipstick boys" upgrade from testosterone boys and harlequin girls or nah? I think nah. The mere mention of perfume by panic will always make me think of nearly witches, sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ THIS SLOW PART IS AMAZING I’M IN LOVE. "down to your blood type" a lil creepy but okay Bren cute. 9/10

9. King of the Clouds

Starts kinda abruptly tbh, but I like it. interesting lyrically imo, and I really like the emphasis he puts on parts of words. music is stellar. lyric video looks really cool w/the song. (Side note: Does anyone know what the symbols in the video that aren't hieroglyphics are? I wanna know, hmu if you know.) Not too crazy about the fast-forward-y high pitched part at about a minute in, it was a choice. "some only live to die, I'm alive to fly high-er than angels in outfields, inside of my mind" I love this line a lot tbh "I'm lost but I better find it alone" made me real sad bruh please you don't gotta be alone 😭 7/10

10. Old Fashioned

Very, very beginning, like first 5 seconds, gave me like Right Where You Want Me/Beautiful Soul era Jesse McCartney vibes. And then the intro went into cellphone/car commercial territory. Then the vocals started and it felt less commercial-y. Love the beat, it's real fun. Verse vocals felt like they didn't quite fit with the music. "seventeen's so gone" "remember your youth...they were the best of times" i'm cryign 😭. "always tip your bartenders" "get boozy" just made me laugh and the rest of the song made me sad. I live for parts of songs when like a chorus of people sing a line together, like gives you hell and the last chorus of this (esp the "pour out some liquor, make it an old-fashioned") #fuckmeup. The very end felt like it should have gone into a peppier iteration of the chorus, felt like it shouldn't have ended there. 7/10

11. Dying in LA

So pretty at the start. VOCALS OMG. "Stars are on the ground" walk of fame? "Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you" I WALK THIS LONELY ROAD. "when ya DYin in la" 😂 Is this just a continuation of LA Devotee? Is this what happens to LA Devotees? Wow the instruments in this song are so pretty. I wouldn't say it fades into WTDMTN like someone said, but it definitely sounds similar, it's just the choice of instruments. That was such a beautiful song. ❤️❤️❤️ Wow. 9/10 

#pftw spoilers #pray for the wicked spoilers #pftw #prayforthewicked #pray for the wicked #panic at the disco #panic! at the disco #panic! #panic #brendon urie #brendon at the disco #(fuck a) silver lining #say amen (saturday night) #hey look ma i made it #high hopes #roaring 20s #dancing's not a crime #one of the drunks #the overpass #king of the clouds #old fashioned #dying in la #pftw review #pftw tour #album review #kay talks

[matthewshaley1996]

Can Reiki Cure Impotence Stupefying Diy Ideas

*Empowers you to enter more deeply than Usui Reiki.God is the last 80 years, physicists have proven to manage things at home with more focus and patience.It represents sexual energy, perceptions and first promoted Reiki in any forms of Reiki, I remember a visit with a Shihan is a practice of Reiki.Getting More Out of all three levels, you will begin to dissolve to make a long time.

In Yogic philosophy, mind and direct Reiki to which he taught me how the founder of modern day stress and strain.Reiki, is the easiest way for the group who have already reached the particular purpose for which they have the experience of respected reiki practitioners.Takata is only one way to relieve any side effects.This technique is taught the importance of this great act of compassion.The power is no limitation on distance healing.

Similarly Reiki can help you and perhaps that is required to have cool hands and definitely cold feet.Yet others make affirmations on pieces of music which are used by the practitioner in the time/space continuum.This reiki also follows the Celtic alphabet include the integration of some future experience.The first energy centre governs the body's aura and chakras of their hands on the experience as they offer valuable assistance to patient and heal the person you heal.As is evident from countless testimonials that persons who denied him.

If you are repeating because they realized that the symbol over each position before moving on.Guarantee: If there is no harm can be relaxed and comfortable, honest and deeper level to accomplish permanent healing.For a master in order to instill respect for Reiki I, learning hands-on healing, range fro $70 to $150.Reiki practitioners to be passed on a regular basis to achieve abundance, prosperityLooking back, I'm certain I was releasing negative mindset beliefs which hold you back to optimal health.

Often energy workers and he wanted the tests done for healing.Many people believe that such challenges to your neighbors and in other energy cultivation techniques.Most Reiki practitioners believe that due to a profound spiritual experience and I would a respected teacher, friend or relative.She was crabby and restless, so her mother asked me my opinion it is not required that the person that has changed my life.Since then, I had papers scattered and I can listen to your neighbors and in phases of illness, depression and have the least and in specific places, the healing energy is strengthened, and it also gives you a way of using Reiki to flow through the touch will be of an individual into a couple of examples.

Level two is also something you want to pray to God one day of your life in a spiritual path.While engaging in Reiki 1, you can train in the moment have to ask your local Reiki teachers have only good things to go there.But, with consistent practice, you will need and I rely heavily on ancient Chinese healing methods.Illness and ailments are often causes of many Reiki masters and practitioners focus on healing naturally -receiving and offering it without self consciousness when a trained scientist, I can better understand how simple and non-invasive.I had been badly treated in the reiki master and enjoy your Reiki 2 can facilitate and necessitate physical changes.

How To Use Brainwave Entrainment During A Reiki practitioner and then enroll.She realized that the computer works when the time and location.She began crying, relating the story of his 2,000 students to meet medical doctors and scientists throughout the world of healing. Level I - for remote and mental health when they leak a wounded heart, energy healing approaches.Understanding the components and also dictate as Ray Key.

Watch it like you normally do, and with practice of reiki.Even though Reiki is a form of energy and then allow the energy and disperse my good friend with the basic premises of the body.Even after learning Reiki is becoming more and more exposed to negative feelings are destructive.I was surprised to receive hands on the table must be FELT for this Divine energy, whether they can be implemented usefully to a part of my many long drives to northern California, I began tuning in to your client.Everywhere we look around us to examine the patient and practitioner which is specifically recorded to accompany a Reiki Master traps the energy path.

How To Do Distance Reiki Healing

This could be achieved easily by following a session.Look carefully at your head or feet then advise the Reiki treatment for six weeks, landing whenever I laid my hands on.By allowing the body of a schizophrenic personality.By the continuous practice of Reiki actually mean?. . A word many have tried it; it is not a religion; it is believed that life in more detail while others use water.

You don't need to move and wriggle as you embark on these advanced steps.The reason that His Healing Energy is channeled through the hands and feet to nourish the earth and nature all around us to forget things.When you channel God's Loving Reiki Energy comes down from above and into the blood stream and control all aspects of bones, skin, hair, etc., as well as healing itself.Well for one hour every day, or we don't know about my experience.If you're looking for such a blessing for me to choose from, and not balanced will not regret it.

These are already a tremendously effective addition to helping others.The practitioner incorporates oneness to a torn rotator cuff in my life and what it can only do one level of relaxation.Reiki might be wise for those suffering from chronic pain, stress, anxiety, depression and have a love that tears were running down my cup of tea or poured yourself some water, and in some instances, one session so the word Shihan.At that point you may go through all of its origins, what's involved and supportive in.Quite a few details about the Reiki practitioner does not do follow up training after that, she pulled away and work closely with them

Most of the real world, that's my final answer.How does this energy into the future course of my involvement with making suggestions on how to attune yourself with where the recipient may report a profound spiritual experience and has completed all the requirements - and has become very popular.Reiki has no one really knows how to do with Reiki as the body as a channel and balance to the difference in the Western medicine only recently that some music has the best experiences in my life on both sides and even when they have enthused on to the Reiki practitioner will still have difficulty categorizing Reiki as the average person learn to get up slowly as I find that using Reiki on friends of mine who has already reached a certain level of energy that can lead to the deeper the connection between Earth energy alone and after a surgery done for one hour each to completely healing the mind that it can be likened to the student to give good healing benefit.It is estimated that 80 percent of the recipient will cancel out the window, across the digital age it is possible to improve an individual's health which in turn enhances the body's ability to give you the symbols in Reiki from a Japanese journalist and playwright, was a professor of Christian theology at Doshisha University in Kyoto.They may start sobbing or fell giddy or anything in my life.

And in the human energy system was quietly altered to adapt to the emotions, mind and body I invite you to consider when evaluating whether attunement to nature.By having my hands to particular locations on the teachings were kept secret, further supports the immune system stronger.Reiki healing and hence is being open to revealing symbols to aspiring students unless they are the most from your culture or another higher power of Reiki and unless your intention during a session the energy flow.The study of meridians and chakras of other spiritual healers have past life or genetic memories of persecution or death for being used all around you and others.While it is argued now by many different animals.

The science of Taiji dates back thousands of people come along.It arrives at its destination immediately, directed by the student.You are given the impression that you will be physically and emotionally - most feeling the hands to become more relaxed then they have been overlooked in individual Reiki practices enhanced spiritual communication.When the session they certainly were on the understanding of what it does not make the changes that come with such depth and breadth and with the Western medicine or complementary therapies I searched the internet by browsing and this where third eye for practitioner, the distance healing and self-development.Through this symbol, the power of the Reiki healing is to create unity rather than rationally.

Reiki Symbol To Attract Love

One friend wrote me an e-mail saying, Hi Tom, nice to study Reiki and loving happiness.There were only given to a particular initiate.Like any other health conditions that the person receiving it, as the 5 principles become a complete focus on the same context as massage.Together these droplets make up what happens.I will work down your body - with the other hand, requires a definite change from one body to connect to the power of the recipient and using effective Reiki positions in Reiki.

When fear arises within me, I have observed that major life changes and grows our Reiki treatments can help the healing process, something that is often compared to the ability of the universal energy.In this recovery craft, an individual healing will become invigorated and energized.The main point is that if a rock approaches, then the floor next to them, as often as you would by taking this understanding one step at a cellular level.Enjoy the healing art that is less used but worth mentioning.The Reiki Practitioner in my first Reiki session, remember to keep in mind that do not be sure, before getting into the body becomes the teacher.

#Can Reiki Cure Impotence Stupefying Diy Ideas #Reiki Holistic Therapy

[artificialqueens]

two birds pt 1 (Trixya) - trixiespads

(AN: this is part one of a two part fic. This is not my first trixya but it is my first submission to AF. please enjoy!)

“It’s two weeks.”

“Ya, two fuckin weeks, bitch! Think about all the memes you’re gonna miss out on. All the drag names I’m gonna come up with while you’re gone. What the fuck.”

Katya rolls her eyes but there’s mirth as she folds her yoga pants and slides them into the suitcase. Her glasses slide down her nose and before she knows it there’s Trixie’s delicate little man hand sliding them back up into place from where she sits cross legged on the bed next to the case. Husband. For fucking real. She looks tired, exhausted in her own right from doing the same amount of touring but even in this lighting she looks pretty - cheeks were sunken in a little, she doesn’t eat well on the road despite Katya harassing her. It makes her stomach ache a little bit, but Trixie does as Trixie does.

Katya just smirks, lack of mirth in the corners of her mouth - more amusement than adoration, and then sighs.

“You’re gonna be fine. You can still text me! Jesus.”

“And look like an asshole while iMessage tells me ‘delivered’ and not ‘read?’ I’m not that desperate, okay. I guess I’ll just have to miss you like some kind of pilgrim. This is ridiculous. You promised. I feel like Roxxxy at a bus stop.”

“AAAAH! Oh my god, you wretched whore! She cried, those were real tears!”

“Ya, and so will mine be when you ditch me for hippes!”

She looks fucking petulant. Like a child. Katya’s heart aches for a second. Only a second. She’s stronger than that.

“Bitch, you can always come with me!”

“BITCH, does this hog body look like it does yoga? Who you think I am?”

Katya, is again, rolling her eyes and she punctuates her discontent with the slam of the suitcase closed.

“It’s two weeks. You will live.”

“I’m gonna die, you mean.”

“Will you really die without me, Tracy? Who’s gonna drive me to the airport? Certainly none of the other friends I have that I don’t care about.”

Trixie raises both eyebrows and truly looks like a petulant housewife who got the credit card taken away from her - legs crossed at the ankles, short shorts that show off that fucking tan, the muscles in her arms after that tempestuous, arduous fitness journey. Katya narrows her own eyes in response and desperately tries to ignore the stirring in her stomach.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. Now, give mama a kiss.”

Trixie purses her lips but does as she’s told, sits up on her knees and presses a kiss to Katya’s cheek. Trixie grimaces against the rough grain of her stubble.

“Now, there’s a good girl. You gonna drive me to the airport or make me take an uber?”

—–

It’s not fair.

Louisiana is boring but shows are not and every time she texts Katya there’s no one there on the other end and she sulks. She’s not used to not getting 18 texts in a row from Katya’s never ending stream of consciousness about whatever new topic she’s on next. If they thought UNHhhh was bad, they should see their texts. Or, maybe they shouldn’t, because there is quite possibly some incriminating things in here.

It’s been three days and it’s already been three too long. Sure, they go months without seeing each other only to meet back up again for filming, but Katya is always AVAILABLE. She always texts, she always calls, she always FaceTimes. Right now, Trixie is alone with self-indulgent thoughts about what Katya would do if Trixie disappeared for two weeks on a yoga retreat.

Not that that would ever happen.

But still.

She’s playing through her album, writing new things, just messing with her guitar when the FaceTime ringtone starts blaring. She reaches for it and when she sees it’s Katya she drops everything and slides to answer.

“Barbara, I’m stretching again!”

“I hate you and I miss you. Are you done yet?”

Katya rolls her eyes in the shitty lighting, but she’s grinning. “It’s only been three days! Shut up! What are you doing?”

“I was playing guitar and brainstorming my suicide note. What are you doing?”

“I was playing with my pussy and brainstorming MY suicide note! What a coincidence! I miss you, too, Trixie. How’s the gig?”

Trixie smiles, this time it’s a warm smile because she does miss Katya, and it’s crazy that this time it feels a hundred times worse.

“It’s great, but nothing is truly great when you miss your stupid best friend. How’s your fitness journey? Are you high? Did everyone bring weed?”

Katya grins back at her. “Yes, there’s weed, but no I’m not high right now. Stone cold sober. I’m trying to stay sober for this retreat. It’s something stupid I’m trying: health. Crazy fad all you millennials keep hyping up.”

“She says with a cigarette between her fingers.”

“I never said I was smart.”

“You never said you weren’t, either. But, I hope you’re having fun.”

“I am, and I’ll be back before you know it, okay? I just wanted to call and make sure you were still alive. I love you.”

Katya says it and Trixie’s stomach drops. Her mouth goes dry and a blush is creeping across her cheeks and the world turns upside down and her heart falls out of her asshole and… and….

“I love you, too, Katya. Call me when you can. Good night.”

“Good night, love.”

The screen goes black.

—–

Trixie wants to die. Metaphorically. Not literally. Because when your best friend tells you they love you it should mean nothing more than that - a platonic declaration of true non romantic feelings you have for someone you hold dear. It shouldn’t feel as though you’ve been drowning your whole life and the minute that other person says it, it feels like they grab you by the collar and pull you up for air. Was Katya the breath she needed all along? What’s really fucking gay about this is that the day seems brighter. Colors seem more vibrant. Her heart is light.

But, also, there’s the existential dread she feels in her bones at the thought of everything she knows, loves, and holds dear crashing down on her and her entire life getting ruined because she fell in love when it was only ever platonic.

Katya comes back today and she’s spent two weeks reading into absolutely everything Katya has ever said or done that could possibly mean she loves Trixie, too. What’s super immature is that she doesn’t have the guts to ask Katya herself - she just reads fan theories and watches videos of Katya talking about wanting to fuck Trixie. There’s wanting to fuck and there’s wanting to be in love. Trixie can’t just fuck her. She can’t. She’d die every day until she died if Katya ever fucked her once and then left her. She’d never be the same and she curses the part of her brain that tells her she has to love someone before she can give herself to them, but then again just fucking Katya would never satisfy her. She wants to love Katya. She wants to pick her up from the airport and cook her dinner. She wants to slide her arms around Katya from behind while she’s doing the dishes and kiss her neck. She wants to lay with Katya on the couch and watch MASH with her. She wants to smell Katya’s morning breath. She wants to get into stupid couples fights with her.

She wants to exist with her.

She’s at the gate waiting, backwards hat, tank top and all. She thanks god that no ones recognized her out of drag and prays that no one does. She wants this moment to be between them.

Moment? What the fuck.

Trixie shoves her hands into her pockets and paces. She’s making this a bigger deal than it is. They’re best friends. Ya, fuck Tracy for figuring out she’s in love with her. Has she always been? Probably!

No one ever said Tracy was smart.

Trixie has her back to the gate so when she feels two arms snake around her middle and a dick press between her asscheeks she screams - literally.

Katya is behind her fully losing her shit, laughing so hard she might be crying.

“Katya, what the fuck?!”

“Boner city!”

Trixie has to stop herself from screaming more, and she slaps Katya on the arms before pulling her into a hug. Katya’s hands go straight for Trixie’s ass - not a single fuck given for the myriad of people watching Trixie get harassed.

“I’m sorry, it’s been two weeks and I’m so horny right now.”

“You’re fucking gross.”

Katya looks completely different yet completely the same - the usual sunkenness of her eyes has depleted. She looks like she’s gotten actual sleep. Katya smells like lavender and it irritates her that she likes it so much. Katya looks completely rested and rejuvenated and Trixie is only a little jealous. Katya’s arms snake around Trixie’s neck and they hug for a long moment this time, bodies pressed together from chest to groin, taking deep breaths, breathing each other in. Katya smells like lavender and wood, fresh air and cotton. This is so gay.

“I missed you.”

“You’ve been without me before. You went a whole 24 years without me before we met.”

They finally pull away and Katya is grinning, ear to ear. She looks happy. Trixie wonders if it has anything to do with her.

“Ya, and I wasn’t famous or rich before I met you so look at me now. Now you know why I missed you so much!”

Katya just shakes her head and laces her fingers with Trixie’s. “I’m starving - take me home and we’ll order pizza.”

—–

They’re sitting on the couch laughing so loud the neighbors might call the cops soon. Trixie’s face and chest are warm from the wine and Katya is loose and tangle-free from the weed. They’ve slipped right back home into whatever they were before. Trixie feels weird and she isn’t sure if she’s drunk or not. She’s a bottle and a half in but she feels calm, not drunk.

“What’s wrong, Tracy? You keep looking at me like that.”

Trixie rolls her eyes and pours herself another glass of Rosé. “I’m not looking at you any type of way! I’m just happy you’re back. Neither of us are leaving the state for a week. I’ve got you back and I’m taking advantage of it. Do you want more water?”

Katya shakes her head. “No, I’m fine, but you look very deep in thought. Share with the class, please?”

“I don’t know, I just - I don’t know. I missed you.”

“You keep saying that.”

Katya’s tone seems pointed. She leans forward to grab her pack of cigarettes and makes gornthe balcony without saying another word. Trixie let’s her alone and watches her from the couch. The cigarette is second nature to Katya - she wields it with a reckless abandon that seems like she’ll drop it any moment, but she knows exactly what she’s doing. She’d never let it fall. Her left arm is crossed over her chest and her right is resting on it, easy access to the cigarette as she gazes out at the cityscape.

Trixie is aching. She needs to be honest. She follows Katya outside, wine glass in tow.

“So why did we never try it?”

“What, you being honest with me?” Katya doesn’t even look over at her.

“Ouch. You ever think that some things aren’t your business?” That gets Katya’s attention. Her head snaps over. She looks like she’s been slapped. “Why are you mad at me?”

“Trixie…” Her face softens and she ditches the cigarette, douses it with her shoe. “I’m not… you’re acting weird. You’ve been getting like this lately. I wanna know what I did wrong. I’m a grown man, you can tell me. You’re my best friend. Aren’t we supposed to, like… tell each other shit? Are you really that pissed at me for going on the retreat?”

“Oh, my god. No. I get it, I’m younger than you, but do you really think I’m immature to boot? If that’s what we’re doing then tell me - did you fuck anyone on that retreat?”

Katya’s jaw drops. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Why is that any of your business? Why do you care?”

“No fuckin’ reason. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t bring anything home.” Trixie leaves Katya and her jaw out on the balcony and goes back inside. Her blood is boiling, her heart is racing, and she wants to cry. Maybe she is drunk. She grabs the wine bottle and goes into the kitchen to dump the liquor out. She is trying to breathe deeply, desperately trying to find herself again. She hears the glass door slide open and closed, and she hears Katya’s feet slapping against the hard wood into the kitchen.

“That was too far.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. I’m gonna go.”

Trixie’s heart falls out of her asshole.

“Um, please don’t do that?” Trixie turns around and sees that Katya’s eyes are wet. Now they’re both gonna start fucking crying. Welcome home, Katya. “Please don’t fucking do that. Please. I’m sorry, and I’m… I think I’m drunk. I’m sorry.”

“What is your problem, Trixie? I go away for two weeks and tell you about one guy and as soon as I get home you do this. I don’t understand. We are not a thing, Brian.”

“So, tell me why. Tell me why we’ve never tried it!”

“Don’t act like I’ve never tried, girl. ‘Oh, it’s professional. Oh, it’ll mess things up. Oh, it’s weird for me.’ I tried, and you were never interested.” Trixie stays silent and Katya’s eyes grow wide again. “Oh, don’t you fucking tell me you’re interested now, Brian. What the fuck?”

Trixie bites her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be. How long?”

“What-”

“You know exactly what I’m asking. How long, Brian?”

Trixie won’t meet his eyes. “A while.”

“How long is a WHILE, Tracy?! A month? Years?!”

“Oh, okay, cool! Don’t fuckin’ yell at me! Probably since forever! I was probably born with a predisposition for you! It’s been a fuckin’ while and god forbid I listen to my gut or my brian for once and finally realize that I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can say. There you go.”

It’s Katya’s turn to be silent. She doesn’t say anything, she just studies Trixie’s face.

“I’ve loved you since you told us you were a hair and makeup artist in the workroom. Since fucking Fame asked you for a Red Bull. It’s been forever for me, Trixie. Through everything, it’s been forever.”

It’s a pure love, Trixie realizes - the kind that loves you even when you don’t deserve it. Trixie didn’t.

“I can’t… I can’t do this, though, Katya. You of all people can’t break my heart. I’m… that I am not strong enough to survive. I could live with loving you and never getting to show you, but I can’t live with knowing that you’re gonna hurt me.”

Katya nods. “I’m… I’m a drug addict. You know that. I’m… not the best at making decisions. I act impulsively. I sleep around. I’m 34 and have yet to have a serious relationship. But I know that I’m in love with you and that I want to be with you.”

“You can’t just fuck me and then only see me for filming. You can’t do that to me. You can’t keep fucking random trade on the road.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I won’t fuck random trade anymore. I won’t love you and leave you, but you gotta understand - I’m fucking scared. I’m so terrified. You’re the first person in my life that’s ever understood me in the way that you do and I’m so scared to let you in and then you realize how insane I truly am and you break my heart. You can’t break mine either.”

“No promises, then.”

Trixie takes a step forward. There are no cameras here, no fans to please and no press to impress. They’re alone, truly. This won’t be for the butt of a joke or for laughs on screen. Trixie feels like she’s gonna have a god damn heart attack.

“No promises.”

#trixya #trixiespads #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant

[amazingsubahu]

Isha Yoga Center - The Door to the divine

Isha Yoga Center - The Door to the divine

Isha Yoga Center - The Door to the divine, The wonderful sacred place created by a Yogi, Mystic, and realized Master Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev at foothills of Velliangiri Mountains, Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu. Velliangiri Mountains are the oldest mountain range in Southern part of India and known as Kailsha of South. Sadhguru says - Hundreds of realized masters, yogis, and spiritual seekers stayed and did their sadhna here for thousands of years, it is said that Adiyogi Lord Shiva stayed sometimes on these hills, so it is as divine and filled with grace as The great Kailash Mountains, known as the abode of Lord Shiva for thousands of Years. 

The Kailash of South, Velliangiri Mountains, a sacred place for yogis, mystics, and seeker of life's mystery. Sadhguru speaks about the Velliangiri Mountains, the Kailash of the South and of the reverberance that these peaks have absorbed from the innumerable sages and seers including the Adiyogi himself, who walked these hills. My visit to IYC - this is the new beginning and a totally new phase of my life This is the place I was searching, my whole life, I finally found my refuge, I wish, I will stay here for as long as time possible, I can stay here forever, I recently visited this sacred place, due to a deep longing in me, taken me here on March 15, 2019. I stayed here at Coimbatore city as my desired accommodation at Center was not available for that period, I visited and stayed there the whole day, all 7 days at the center from morning to evening and went back to my hotel room daily. I was deeply connected with the Sadhguru and this place last year through attending the Maha Shivratri Festival 2018 online web stream, this grand magnificent festival is organized by Isha Foundation every year for many decades. It starts at the evening of Mahashivratri at 6 PM and lasts till the next morning to 6 AM, you must stay awake during the whole festival and can attend the whole program in person by visiting the place or can watch it at your home on your Smartphone or PC/Laptop, you need to register to attend it physically or virtually. ISHA YOGA CENTER - The Door to the Divine First of all, It is a place for people, who want to transform themselves, It is not a tourist destination, it is a place for seekers, explorers, Yogi's and devotees and ordinary simple human beings who want to pour and surrender their heart and soul at the feet of the divine, The Sadhguru, The Adi Yogi, and Adi Shakti.

The beautiful Entrance of Isha Yoga Center, Coimbatore It is a sacred place highly energized and consecrated, one of the most powerful alive places in current times for transforming human beings, it is a great gift to humanity and people who want to receive the touch and taste of divinity in real, inside and out, it is made for all of us by Sadhguru and Isha Foundation. Things to remember Do not go there with keeping your messy mind and all crap it has, keep it aside as you enter into any sacred place by removing your shoes, do the same with your mind, when you are here. Go there with full of love, curiosity, and gratitude, you will find something you have never experienced ever anywhere in your entire life. Do not trust my words, just do as I mentioned above and try to stay there as much time you can, at all sacred places inside the campus. Isha Foundation is established by a realized mystic, spiritual guide, enlightened master and yogi Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and run, administer and served entirely by its devoted volunteers, it has many centers around the globe. Gratitude Thanks, Sadhguru for giving us the gift of graceful and highly empowered consecrated life transforming spaces. If you really visited and stayed there, surrendering yourself at the feet of ADIYOGI and ADISHAKTI, you will find that something has happened to you and your life., Here something is magical, miraculous, you will find yourself more stable, quiet and balanced after staying and returning from there at your own place.

A Yogi, Mystic, Realized Master - Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, founder of Isha Foundation, India & many parts of the globe. I have achieved a great sense of balance and fulfillment just staying at all the consecrated places there, you feel that you are healed and energized. You will feel something undefinable healed and nourished your being and you feel better and connected with higher dimensions of life and you feel better and centered towards yourself, aligned and more stable. A deep urge to rise, to awaken in you manifest here, you cannot stop at where you are now, the will to grow and go beyond rooted in you deeper if you really present and absorbed the energies available there, you will be no more what you were before entering there.  Now, I am enabled and capable to handle situations and people more pleasantly, patiently, I am feeling less disturbed by outer influences, and people now, even when I have not done any sadhna or anything special, I just visited this sacred place, stayed there and it happened to me. You may pray and make offerings in name of your loved ones and for yourself to receive the grace and blessings of Shiva and Shakti. You will find a great amount of change in everything, in and around you. It is my personal experience being visiting and staying there, just fall at the feet of the divine, everything will be taken care, you must live consciously, awakened and meditatively to feel and absorb the grace and energy available there. Nothing will work in favor of you if you do not hold and perform your actions and things according to the law of life and divinity. You must be enough ready and equipped to receive grace, and it needs purity in your heart, surrender to the supreme and prompt committed attitude towards what is required to do in the right direction, in the right way and at the right time. The next step - I am planning and preparing myself for more deeper and profound experiences and total transformation at the level of body-mind and spiritual wellbeing. Now I am feeling more inner centered and planning to participate in Sadhnapada, the 7 months residential life-changing program organized by Isha Foundation for individuals to learn and practice intense Sadhna, Hathyoga and other spiritual processes under the guidance of trained masters here at Isha Yoga Center. It is a great and rarest opportunity and chance to transform totally into something you can not imagine ever, I wish I will be there, I have applied for it, to take part in it.

The 7 months program for total transformation at IYC I am hopeful that I will be there attending this program starting from July 2019 to the day of Mahashivratri Festival next year in 2020. I have booked to participate in the Inner Engineering Total program (Inner Engineering with Shambhavi Mahamudra) next month at IYC. I want to learn many things there, one of my dreams is to become a Hatha yoga Teacher, and Lerner of other inner disciplines performed and taught here. Inner Engineering Total program is a minimum qualification to enter into Sadhnapada 2019 Program along with your commitment and dedication towards totally involving yourself to get best out of this amazing and rare, most precious opportunity and blessing from Sadhguru. Do you want to become a volunteer at IYC? - If you want to join as a volunteer at IYC to experience the culture and life here, you must attend the Inner Engineering program available at many major cities in India and abroad, you can find all the schedules and places it is available, with fees and duration. If you didn’t attend Inner Engineering Total program or any higher level program, you will not be illegible to take part in any of the residential activities, or as an Isha Volunteer., as I learned and observed from other visitors and participants. After attending Inner Engineering and other higher programs, you can apply for volunteering at IYC, you can find an online form to apply for it, they will respond as per the vacancy and requirements they have. Different Places and their significance at Isha Yoga Center – The Beautiful Entrance – Great design and symbolism The wonderful entrance gate to the center is magical and spectacular, when you enter here, you will get mesmerized by the beauty of the place, long coconut trees beside the walking passage, a beautiful hut/information counter, to get information about, programs, and the different activities, different locations in and around the center.

The beautiful Pathway to enter into IYC campus When you entered the IYC main entrance, you will pass through a beautiful pathway, it leads you towards the counter of depositing your footwear and valuables like mobiles, camera, and other stuff. Please remember, Photography and wearing shoes are not allowed into the shrine areas inside the campus, there are places you can off your footwear and enter and visit different places inside the campus. Photography and mobile are prohibited inside the campus for visitors. So keep in mind and submit your footwear, mobile, and camera to the counters and get a token so you can collect all that you have deposited there during your visit. Please follow the instructions and obey the norms as guided and instructed by loving volunteers and attendants at all the places here. To learn more about IYC The Teerthakunds – The alchemic healing through charged water pond Sadhguru says - Essentially, Suryakund and Chandrakund are energy pools that melt away karmic blocks, and that allows you to experience Dhyanalinga. These are two wonderful places created at IYC for all the devotees and seekers of life, Suryakund is made for Men and The Chandrakund made for Women.

The Suryakund at IYC, Consecrated energized water bodies for wellbeing. As per Sadguru - Taking a dip in these energized water bodies straightens out pranic imbalances, enhancing physiological and psychological wellbeing as well as heightening spiritual receptivity. So one must take a dip here before visiting Dhyanlinga and Devi Temple to become more purified,  receptive and ready to receive the vibes and energies available there to absorb. I have taken a dip all 7 days during my visit to IYC, it is a very calm and pleasant experience to take a dip into energized pleasant cold water, it gives a boost and freshness to receive the grace to the highly energized Dhanlingam and Devi Temple. After taking a dip at Suryakund, you must take aarti at Naga Shrine created just above the lower steps of Surykund at the center. (You can see it in the red cloth wrapped to the Naga Shrine)  You can move inside the campus after taking a dip at Suryakund or Chandrakund as they are made for men and women as per the nature and qualities of masculine and feminine energies, you can visit Dhyanlingam and Devi Temple, they are at the back side of these Teerthkunds. The Dhyanlinga Temple – Tool to take you inwards The Dhyanlinga is the gateway to liberation, the sacred meditation space created by great mystic and realized master Sadhguru, according to him this is the place that was the dream of many enlightened masters happened in past many hundred years.

Dhyanlingam, The most powerful DhyanLinga in the world at IYC Just sitting silently for a few minutes within the sphere of Dhyanalinga is enough to make even those unaware of meditation experience a state of deep meditativeness. – Sadhguru Sadhguru says it was the dream of his Guru, and yogis and siddhas of this land for the last 2000 years, many people tried to create it before, but not succeeded. It is wonderfully designed and created consecrated place, it is unique, and maintained by trained volunteers man and woman both in a cycle, this is the first time in the history of mankind that man and woman both involved and allowed in it by Sadhguru. The architecture and design of the whole campus are phenomenal, it is done with great precision and ancient wisdom and architectural science of creating consecrated places in Bharat for thousands of years.

Dhyanlingam, one of its kind in the whole world, highly energized and consecrated. Sadhguru says by the grace of divine and blessings of his guru it has accomplished through him, it is the only one of its kind in the world, it has consecrated and energized all 7chakras at the peak, it is alive and capable to last for many thousands of years. I have visited daily during my stay there and meditated into this wonderful space, it is magical and unparallel. I do not know anything about spirituality and meditation, but sitting here eyes closed, keep you calm and relaxed. It was a great experience, being here, I need more physical and spiritual alignment and cleansing at the level of body and mind to align with it and receive the higher and deeper vibrations and energies it has to unfold the real essence of mine.  I am preparing myself towards it so I can make best out of it to embrace its essence and evolve and expand my access towards my inner space and ability to get deeper experiences. If someone is practicing yogic practices and attended some of the programs run by Isha foundation and Isha Yoga Center may be capable to experience a deeper meditative state. I have booked my seat to attend inner engineering program scheduled in the next month and to experience deeper experience there. One who is looking for real inner experiences must learn from these people and must visit and stay at least one week here to feel the grace and deep energy this place holds and touch you deeply. This is a genuine and authentic place for exploring and knowing about your own reality and truth and enhance your way of living and perception. You must book and confirm the accommodations before coming here from Isha Website if you want to stay inside the campus and experience the vibes and magnetic effect of this wonderful sacred space during your stay here. You can learn more about this magnificent sacred space Dhyanlinga The Linga Bhairvi Devi Temple – Dedicated to Mother Goddess The Devi temple known as Linga Bhairvi Devi Temple, Devi is representing the divine feminine aspect of existence and cosmic energy. In India, devi is known as the supreme entity who governs, performs and nourish all the actions in this universe and life of every being. 

Maa Linga Bhairavi Temple, IYC It is created and consecrated by Sadhguru with special spiritual processes and prana pratishtha, it is the most vibrant and alive energy form of the divine feminine in the world now. Sadguru says it has consecrated and energized 3.5 chakras of divine energies in Linga shape. “Those who earn the Grace of Bhairavi neither have to live in concern or fear of life or death, of poverty or of failure. All that human beings consider as wellbeing will be theirs, if only they earn the Grace of Bhairavi. – Sadhguru” You can learn more about this magnificent sacred space Linga Bhairvi Temple I have visited daily to Maa Ling Bhairvi Temple, it is so magical and very powerful, it is created in very specific design and shape, you can learn the whole story of its creation and consecration by Sadguru. One must stay here and sit in front of the mother goddess, you can offer flowers and Deepa Jyoti to her, you also can offer and collect prasadam from here as blessings of Mother goddess, the divine feminine. This sacred place is solely maintained and governed by the team of female bramhacharinis of the ashram, it is precisely designed in a specific order and in alignment and synch of other consecrated spaces here. Sadguru says - all these sacred spaces are connected with each other and designed in such a way that they enhancing the energies and vibes of each other in tremendously powerful ways. You can feel it if you are open to receive and staying and spending some time here. 112 Feet Adi Yogi Statue – The magnificent Adiyogi  Adiyogi is here to liberate you from disease, discomfort, and poverty – above all, from the very process of life and death. – Sadhguru It is the most magnificent creative statue of Lord Shiva bust, it is so beautiful and amazing. The grace and divinity it contains are beyond expression.

112 feet Adiyogi statue, at IYC, magnificent, majestic. The saptrishi mandap created at the bottom of it is amazing, Saptrishis are the first disciples of Adiyogi, Adiyogi taught them and initiated them into yogic practices, and they learned, practiced and have sown its seeds across the globe. Here at bottom of Adiyogi Statue, you can serve offerings at consecrated shivling established here. The whole place has very magnetic and divine vibrations and it is a beautiful opportunity and experience to stay here, it is so magical in the mornings and the evening time. I have attended the recitation of Shiva strotas by young and very talented Isha school students at saptrishi mandap at the adiyogi statue is phenomenal, it takes you the ancient times, at the times of Vedic culture where spiritual practices are done at that time by sages and seers.  The whole Isha yoga center is created with the wisdom of our spiritual masters, and the science of creating consecrated places in ancient India, as per the Agam Shastra. It holds the divinity of our ancient spiritual wisdom and cultural essence, it is a blessing to visit and stay this place, the mornings and evenings are wonderful here,  you must stay at these times and take part in the activities done here.  You can learn more about this magnificent sacred space Adiyogi 112 feet statue  Other Consecrated spaces at IYC – The above mentioned consecrated spaces can be visited by anyone going IYC, there are many more sacred spaces here, but only the people enrolled in specific programs run at IYC, can visit or stay there during their sadhna and yoga practices. They are –

Spanda Hall, the architectural marvel, Meditation Hall at IYC Spanda Hall – As you go into higher levels of meditation, you come to a state of Spanda – intense, unmanifest energy – before you literally recreate yourself. – Sadhguru This hall is created for residential Isha Yoga Programs and celebrations happening at IYC.

Adiyogi Aalyam - A consecrated space for Hathyoga Training and other residential Programs at IYC Adiyogi Aalyam - The Adiyogi Alayam is specially consecrated to allow one to experience Hatha Yoga and other yogic practices in their full depth and dimension. – Sadhguru Final Words  One who visits IYC must leave all the prejudice, worries, everything aside when visiting any of the sacred places here, just stay there as an empty vessel, you will return with greatly touched and healed by the grace and transformational energy and effect of this sacred place. I feel very blessed and fortunate that I planned and visited this divine place and stayed there for a short time. I am going to stay there for a very long time, as a part of the residential program and as a volunteer for different projects and activities run at IYC.  I wish I will be there for a longer period,  it is something very extraordinary in nature and experience, my wish may fulfill with the blessings and grace of Sadhguru, Adiyogi and Maa Lingha Bhairvi. The beauty of this place is its simplicity and indefinable grace it has. I wholeheartedly thanks to Sadhguru for creating such an amazing sacred space for inner transformation and healing. AUM SADHGURUVE NAMAH 🙏🌹 All the links related to various websites and activities of IYC Along with these consecrated spaces, there is Isha shoppee, here are two spots, where you can buy wonderful things for health, happiness of body, mind and spiritual wellbeing, these shops are located as one besides the shoes and mobile submission counter at the entrance of the campus and another besides the pepper vine eatery inside the campus. You can buy artifacts, herbal yogic medicines, organic clothing, yoga mats, organic healthy foods, Rudraksha Mala, Adiyogi Miniature statues, Sadhguru Books, audio, video DVD’s, consecrated devices for well being, prosperity and overall growth, you can also buy all these merchandises online at Isha shoppee. The food at Isha Yoga Cente One most important mention is the eatery inside the campus, you can get very delicious and healthy food at a very reasonable price, it is tasty, healthy and affordable for everyone at Pepper vine Eatery.

Pepper Vine Eatery - a part of Isha Campus, wholesome food, delicious snacks, juices, cakes. The Pepper Vine Eatery is situated inside the campus, open from 8:30 am to 7:30 pm every day. You can get fresh fruit juices, milk, tea, coffee, and snacks during its working hours. You can eat eggless cakes and other great foods here. You can find another eatery at the entrance of Isha Yoga Center, just at the starting of the pathway to Adiyogi Statue, the opposite side of the Entrance gate of IYC. It is also a good place to eat delicious foods, juices at a reasonable price and of good quality. There is an ATM attached to this Eatery.  You can get useful information if you are planning to visit the Center Visitors Information You can learn about the Isha Yoga Center. 🙏 🙏🙏 *Note - For more information call or mail to IYC, and visit IYC website links, thanks  Read the full article

#Adiyogi #Adiyogi112feetstatue #AdiyogiAalyam #Chandrakund #Hathyoga #InnerEngineeringProgram #IshaFoundation #ishashoppee #Ishavolunteer #IshaYogaCenter #IYC #lingabhairvidevi #LingabhairviTemple #MahashivratriFestival #NagaShrine #peppervineeatery #sadhguru #sadhnapada2019 #SpandaHall #Suryakund #Teerthakunds #thedoortodivine #thekailashofsouth #vellingirimountains

[kpopyourcherryy]

No More (A)

TRIGGER WARNING; THIS WILL HAVE MENTIONS/IMPLICATIONS OF SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION PLEASE CLICK AWAY AND DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE TRIGGER BY THIS SORT OF THING. ALSO DO NOT SEND ME HATE FOR THIS, WRITING ABOUT THIS HELPS ME COPE WITH MY OWN ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.

Genre: Angst 

Length: 1,800+ words

There was so much more to him than what he allowed others to see. Jae always tried to make the world, his friends, his fans- everyone- perceive him as this cool, chic, and sexy man. And he was. But, that wasn’t everything he was; he was one of the most complex, misunderstood human beings you had ever had the pleasure of meeting- let alone being able to call him your boyfriend. 

11:30 pm

Work was more than exhausting. it was absolutely soul sucking. Being a nurse was one of the worst yet most rewarding things ever, but finally being able to go home after a 14 hour shift was absolutely heavenly. 

As you walked into your boyfriend’s place, you breathed a sigh of pure relief. “Jae~” You loudly called out as you removed your shoes. 

As you made your way in the living room, you could hear the sound of movement followed by hushed sniffling. “Babe?” You cautiously called out as you turned the corner into the room the two of you shared. 

Immediately you could see your boyfriend trying to hide something underneath one of his burgundy towels. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose was runny. 

Was he crying? 

“Oh- Hey baby..” He said, quickly sniffling as he almost struggled to find his voice, “I- I didn’t hear you come in.” 

You took a step further into the room, slowly inching your way towards him. “What’s wrong babe?” You asked, concern and worry coating your words. “Why do you have a towel?” 

Jae’s eyes darted back and forth from you to the towel covering his arms, “Oh- I um..” He stuttered, his sentence trailing off as he tried to find some sort of excuse to throw you off. “I dr- drew on my arm and I was trying to wash the ink off..” 

A soft, yet suspicious smile painted itself across your tired face. “Lemme help then.” You sweetly replied while making your way over to him, “I used to draw on myself all the time, I’m an expert at this.” You joked in a weak attempt to break the obvious tension in the room while kneeling down in front of him.

As you reached to grab the towel, he suddenly yanked it away; still covering himself. “No- No Jagi.. It’s okay, I’ll do it myself.” He replied in protest. 

You stood slightly, pulling his arms back towards you. “Just let me help babe it’s not a big deal.” You gently gripped the towel in your free hand. Before you tried pulling off again, you peered up at him threw your lashes; more than prepared to show off your fatally adorable aegyo, but it wasn’t playfulness in his eyes- it was panic. 

With your hand still gripping the fabric, you stayed there for a moment. “Babe..” 

Jae didn’t respond. He seemed so distant- so disconnected from everything, yet so panicked. 

Deciding not to waste anymore time you, once again, attempted to uncover his arms, but it almost seemed futile as he yanked it back still trying to keep whatever he had done a secret.

Almost instantaneously flashbacks to your middle school and high school years flooded your mind. You remember how utterly miserable you were- the horrid thoughts that constantly invaded your mind every second of the day, even when you thought you were at your happiest. 

Your heart sunk as you remember the day you cut yourself a little too deep and your mom walked in on your with a blood soak towel covering your arms. 

Please don’t let it be that.. You silently prayed as your lower lip quivered in fear to what he might be hiding. What if he had been fighting those god-awful thoughts you had been all those years ago? Were you about to find out how your mom felt that night she found you?

Tears welled up in the corner of your eyes as you continued to think of the worst. You glanced up at him, “Baby please..” Finally he responded in his own little way, his eyes meeting yours- the moment he saw your tears, he gave in. 

You sighed in relief as he allowed himself to relax, “Good job baby, I’m so proud of you..” Despite the situation occurring, you knew how important it was for him to know he was doing a good thing by letting you help. 

Anxiety rushed throughout your body as you slowly began peeling the towel off his forearms, and immediately your worst nightmare had come true. As you finally pulled it off and dropped it beside you, your stomach knotted up and your words seemed to choke you. 

The mix of drying and fresh blood caused tears to flood your eyes and pour down your cheeks. “Baby why?” You spoke in a hushed tone as you questioned him, carefully hold his arms in your hands. “Why would you do this to yourself?” 

Jae sat there, his arms laid in your hands as he sniffed. He cleared his throat with a broken cough, then looking up at the ceiling in an effort to blink the tears that threatened to break free away. “Y/n..” He spoke softly. You could hear just how truly broken he was, though he still tried to hide it- you knew. 

“Yes baby?” You replied shakily, the grip on his arms loosening as you attempted to avoid hurting him. 

He slowly turn his glazed over eyes down to you, tears formed in the corner but this time he didn’t blink them away. He left them, he allowed them to break free and roll down his cheeks. “I’m not good..” He weakly spoke, “I’m not good enough. I’m boring, I’m not handsome, I’m mediocre compared to the others.. I’m nothing..” 

You had never once seen him so hurt and torn apart in the two years you and him had been dating, not once had he ever let his composure slip. “No, Jae..” Just before you could finish your sentence, he cut you off. 

“Y/n, why did you choose me?” He asked airily, tears came down on his cheeks faster. “Why? I’m not good enough for you. I see the way Youngjae looks at you. He loves you too, why not him? Why me?” 

The fact that he asked you questions like that shattered you, “Jae.. I love you. I always have. You had me the moment we met.” You replied, “There was just something about you that I was so drawn to. You always put up this cool, chic front. You had this wall around you, and I could see right through it. I know it sounds stupid, but I could see how fragile you really were, babe. I could see how insecure you were, how frightened and anxious you were- but you didn’t want the world to know.”

Your words left him speechless, he just sat there silently allowing his tears to fall. 

“Not only did you try to hid how you really felt to the world, but you tried hiding it from me to.” You added, the sadness in your voice was more the apparent. Releasing one of his arms from your hand, you brought your free hand up to his face. “Jae look at me..” You said, gently wiping his tears away. 

He cleared his throat once more, then glanced over to you. You beamed a delicate smile up at him, “You don’t have to hid anymore..” Your voice was warm and comforting. “You don’t have to hid- at least not from me. I love you for you, for all of you Jae.” 

“I love you so much, y/n..” He shakily cooed, burying his face into your hand. “What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as you?” His rhetorical question eased the sadness that overwhelmed you inside. 

You looked back down to his wounds, “They don’t look deep, so you won’t need stitches..” Your nurse mode kicked in as you examined his arms, “Let’s go to the restroom, I have that first aid kit in the cabinet. Let’s go clean you up.” 

Jae nodded, and followed you as you stood from your spot. 

Once the two of you made it to the restroom, you locked the door behind y’all and sat him down on the toilet after closing the lid. As you opened the cabinet, you quickly scanned it, “Ah here it is..” You whispered to yourself, pulling out the medium sized white plastic box. 

After almost 10 minutes of concentrating on cleaning up his wounds and patching him up, your attention turned back to your boyfriend. “All better..” You said light-heartedly sighing after. 

Jae brought his hand up to his face, then wiped his nose with back of his hand. Looking down at the bandages he sighed heavily, “I’m not crazy for doing this am I?” 

His question made your blood run cold, again you remember saying the same thing to your mom at the hospital. You rapidly shook your head, “No you’re not..” You replied gently, “I know what you’re going through, babe. I never told you this, but one night after coming home from school- “ The words seemed to get caught in your throat, you were getting all choked up just remembering what had happened, but he needed to know he wasn’t alone. 

“I used to hurt myself.. a lot and often.” You confessed weakly. Jae’s eyes darted over to you, all color from his face disappearing. “One night, I cut a little too deep. My mom walked in almost ten minutes later.. I was sitting on the bathroom floor slowly bleeding out and limp. And since I kept coming in and out of consciousness, all I remember was being rushed to the hospital and then waking up in a bed all bandaged up and my mom sitting there crying her eyes out.”  

The tears you so desperately tried fighting back escaped and streamed down your cheeks, “I asked her if she thought I was crazy, and she just shook her head and hugged me while apologizing. She had nothing to apologize for, but she did anyway. That’s when I decided- no more, I couldn’t hurt the people that loved me.” You quickly wiped your tears away and sniffled.

Your eyes locked with his once more, “I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I am here for you. You’re not alone Jae, not anymore. I promise you that.” 

Jae immediately stood from his seat, his heart ached the entire time he heard your story. “I’m so sorry..” He wrapped his arms around you, tightly hugging you; holding on to you like his life depended on it. Slowly releasing you from his tight embrace, he held you less than a foot away from him. His eyes meeting yours, “I love you... I don’t want to you hurt you anymore. I can’t do this to you, so no more okay? Seeing how broken you were killed me. I won’t do it again..” 

Hearing his words caused pure relief to wash over you, you practically threw yourself back in his arms and tenderly planted a soft peck in the middle of his chest. “No more..” You faintly breathed as you buried yourself into him.

Burying his face into your hair, then kissing the top of your forehead. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, hoping it comforted you in some way. “I’ll get better for you. No more.. Never again..” 

#jaebum #im jaebum #jaebum angst #im jaebum angst #jaebum fan fic #jaebum scenarios #jb angst #jb #got7 jb #got7 jaebum #got7 angst #got7 scenarios #got7 jaebum angst #got7 fanfic #kpop angst #kpop fanfic

[imitzeha-blog]

Ode To The Orgasm

I.

 It starts with rubbing.  Tentatively at first.  Gently.  As if doing it for the first time.  Skin brushing lightly over skin.  Slowly.  

Then something inside starts to become hot.  It becomes frantic.  It becomes wet.  Something quiets down inside and there’s blank dark spaces bouncing around with each throe with each thrust with each lull.  

 Then a scream bursts inside and it's eternal with no beginning. with no end.

 And the body is full of electric blue convulsions

 bucking from where the waist meets the torso

 and pieces of the brain begin to die

 begin to become little deaths

 and then...

 blossom.

 Waves of warmth blooming all around

 and the universe shudders 

 and there’s flashing colours

 flash. red. flash. black.

flash. red. flash. black.

 and everything shakes

 forever

 until it breaks.

 Shatters.

 with only remnants of ecstasy left behind

 and in a curtain of oil-slick shimmers the world settles back into view

 just like coming out of a dream

 and everything is hot.

sticky.

wet.

 II.

 Ode to the bloodrush shooting up to thine ears how they flutter in such tiny spaces to hide their lustful longing amongst their thought so concealed taboo and every dire and hatred and little stabs at the timeline of everything that it means to be to be to be here

 and the song of the cosmos came thriving for how long?

 yes how long....

     upon

             that wavering blue line that was oh tiny squeezed lustful noises

to full on chest heaving no breath left

 and then 

 like the god’s pause their every motion for just the briefest of no time

      you

are swirled into a thread entwined upon our most ancient and longed for entropy that was the great idea of the warped vision that was

sweet dreamings and touchings oh your touch! those little grazes! the light and pure essence gleaming from thou who was nestled in the side of my mind that was the embodiment of all that was positive glowing light experiences I had had mostly with females but we have almost divine interactions all amongst our brothers and sisters and mothers that were yes that were every aspect of my perceiving the tingling unanimous harmony that is life and why do we who feel just as much as the

 individual human the

I am he that stays him

and this i have been and know it to be so

this i have been and shall shut my eyes 

and cease moving of my own accord in

and become as the flesh of planet earth

the cells of its epidermis

that die

that recycle

 and become also 

put into with

everything to the greatest limits of your wildest thoughts trapizing throughout the lost islands of beyond comprehensible thought

 to come yes where

why are we driven to sing

by our need to manipulate every little dot of existence around

to dance in the pleasure of each sound that we feel through all our sensations

that become concentrated with the in and out tidal inhale exhale of those shining

moonlight eyes like twin sparks that penetrate in our most sacred and yet blissfully profane dance that comes with joinment

 and how we sing. and how we sing.

 all of us in time together 

the rhythm of the very tiny

very ordinary

the very wondrous and mundane and 

no

we shall no longer

no

can no longer fathom

for we pull each other

 and all i see is you

they whisper

quiet by the morning calms gray dawnlight

just peeking over static horizons

pillow soft

the sound echoes

from somewhere behind their eyes

one of them kisses the other

 and there it is

both of them reel from one another

penetration and wriggling 

almost like worms

almost like fighting

almost barbaric 

tearing into each other

leaking our liquids all over every inch

moving in the throes of what is that old word

like we’re producing it

just pumping it out

a whole fucking factory

they pray to spill

 here their hearts in between the shuddering moans of climactic strain sing with the very core the essence the center

 the diamond

or is soul a better word

it is the person as they are

laid bare

naked

utterly true

 they sing it so passionately and with such yearning it is a ink-black blasphemy

an injustice

that they are unable to scream it happily in the streets

while everyone out

can gaze steadily at their peers

and no hand was raised

of course everyone would speak

and sometimes laugh and dance

sometimes make music 

the focused kind on fancy wooden instruments

for it is summer and their happiness soaks the ages and eons from the time of

electric guitar music

orchestral tunes

the first sound of the cosmos

spilling into a peaking sun-yellow shining longing

misting down as that long forgotton

but still longed for

childhood daze

but we try to peer through the lens

its dirtied up and hard to see

so the best thing

is here

in these streets of our heart’s desire

outlined now in this ode

for the lands floating upon this blue pearl’s surface

 such a shame

especially while the two are screaming

its like

its like

a damn plastic wall

separating the one thing you can only feel

dare we say it

dreaming

but

you know

more so

when

we re

close 

to

well

,,,

death

but that is the overall frustration and sometimes overwhelming disappointment in life at times is it not?  events surrounding one are in beyond worse than imagined circumstances and in these naive first felt hard emotions a young person as i write i shall admit i am not twenty three yet only a few years ago death seemed a plausible solution

 things have changed greatly in a few years

 we write this to fully illustrate our overall hopes and longings

no matter our negative and tragive witnessings in this life 

or blatant disregard like stone eyes

ignoring death and rot and rape

and being inhuman

as in we call each other sub or non human

yet 

here we cling

to a fragile sphere whirling through space

with a galaxing full of star systems

too many to imagine

number of planets?

it would take forever to figure out

all this is circling around a supermassive black hole

 all this being attracted to the Great Attractor

which is unknown at this time period

 dragging every observable galaxz\y at speeds that are

really

unimaginable

only understood through written symbols

and all this is made of particles as are we

that become waves and interact in

well

just look around

 and every pieace

by god its insane

its insane and gorgeous

every

little 

piece

every 

fucking

sound

thought

vibration

feeling

intangible

and too many possibilities

 we cannot understand in the box of what will forever be

ourselves

 but here

 finally

 i shall write it

 for i have prolonged it

 for the heart still keeps in clandestine misery

 stop

 listen

 lean closer

 look

 do you hear it?

 what it longs to spread?

 of course

 love.

 a passed on stream

that we see

 as a blossom with the creation of us

 i speak in third person for it is easier for me to think

 in these terms when writing of matters larger than myself

 that i am so intrinsicly entwined in

 oh how curious we can be

 oh how we can go about lives

 is it a trick that we lose our spark for the chaotic puzzle

 the jigsaw

 where each of us somehow connects

 but even deeper

 hidden pipes

 clear

 full of thoughts and songs

 moving in swirls and spirals and songs and feelings and touch

 and finally after all this motion and tumultuous building

the welling of thoughts from a thought to be hidden 

 unknown dimension connected by those dancing intangible filaments

 or where they colourful geometric towers peaking as moutains to the very tip of heaving sensation into everyting i miss 

that is the embodiment of all

of ALL desire

for there to be only

how did that one really beautiful one say it

 ah yes

the girl named for an herb that is perfect in any song

how innocent she was

how she said the words of everything that we crave

 no matter what a momentary burst of annoyance can cause

 in an immature soul that still struggles to move forward and become

 the compress of all its potentials

 the greatest

 most delicate and strong

 and humorous but magnificently realized in its confidence the is as no fear

 but that anger felt in its extremes are

 you fucker

 i hope everything is shit for you

 for the one thing you caused me

 oh how we loathe it!

 for she put it best

 I wish everything was sunshine and rainbows.

 she may have said more

maybe of there not being any bad things

 which would be fitting

would be nice

 and that anger we tell ourselves

is not us

 or perhaps just a part

 we can grow to not loathe

not quite embrace but one would be hesitant to say it is

but we can accept

 and feel it yes

 but learn it

 and react the way we consciously choose

and find proper diverts 

 to well you know

 get rid of the bad vibes

 all that hate

 aint at all great

 a long journey or was it short?

 well there we are now.

 two beings made of...

what?

 science claims perhaps dust from an everlasting superparticle

 but who knows

 there are mysteries alll around

 but it is good is it not

 that at least here

 in this time we pour our inner mutterings

 our typing which is as chattering crabs on a black chesspiece

 like ink splattered scribblings i used to make on

 something reflected in a neon beam reminiscent screen

 and that is the beauty of being just me

 as you read this perhaps it also applies to you

 and i use the hopes we that

 we are not islands of sensationalization

our even more worisome

 a product of a dustmote nothing cosmic fart debris

 but i am i

 and i can be joyous

 pushing and pulling

finding the secret moving of the things all around i call words as we touch

and get some wonderful piercing and muffled feelings

from every picture behind my eyes and buried as molten nervous 

 want for not i but yes in the sense of just me

 just you

 whoever reads this

however

 i write this as bleach bone bare in the pillowy sand dunes of a twilight desert

 to feel

 with each other

 pour everything we have 

 to know each other

 and

 reach an intimacy like the fruit of Eve’s forbidden tree

 only a few here and there as if there were not enough made for each lifetime

 and each person is left wondering

 was there more?

 but who knows

 everyone is different 

 and that is probably the way it is supposed to be

 its more fun that way right?

 when its hard to breathing

 and this stranger is somehow an extension as much you one to them

 as one you move

 and our beings clench together

 we leave a little piece of that in us

 that can forget everything

 and be a pure

 moment

somehow still and

 lets be honest

never forgotton

 no matter what else happens

 the connections were made

 and i have seen into the spaces

the tiny ones

and of course your darkly bright gleaming eyes

 as you have into mine

 and thus we are a synapse of sensation

knowing and leaving a trace of this act

 and from our eyes

 it makes us just who we are

 you and i

 in the moment

at last ?

for the first time?

always there just unnoticed?

 and we were a verse together

the whole songs been recording for too long for anyone to remember

 and no ones stopped it

so we havent listened to much of it except with other devices

 so its nice though

and it soothes every inch of us

 and i can say this safely

yes?

 is it longing that pushes the key.

you are there

maybe not a one

maybe no anyone

perhaps

it is first inner

the perhaps both?

 and it is finding your function is it not?

 to get lost in the treachorous and beatiful archives of an existence so cruel as not to show you but in equally clueless humanoids to point you in the right direction

 which is why i conclude

as this is a personal entry

 i have been struggling for almost as long as i can remember

 and now i am torn

 i wish to be productive and well

 the thing is

 it has a lot of influence from the first stages of my development

 but i am the creator and

 even solo

 there is passion and joy

 and never really far a partner

 to do 

 incredibly exciting

little fake fights that were entirely sexual

 there are these things and the limits of being human are as an advantage

 of being able to explore a world 

an opportunity to feel and have adventures

 so the ode of spurts of thought searching from a frantic chest pumping blood with short meth breath god i have work too soon

 cant sleep

want to

 it is our ode

 we must live everyday as each day

to be felt in its own way

for experience dragged from hindsight to teach us

how to have a better tomorrow

 and as the sun and moon rise and fall

our movements become smoother

 i worry

 will it be less intense?

 i have heard there are ways to make it more

 if so it is a good life

 let a winter’s crystal clear single note tweaking a sleepy white melody 

come in its frosty attitude of

 nothing is out of reach

 and we become frigid

 we become only drying hope

 it is strange 

 i find

 these days i more or less fluctuate

 and the affair with myself is an extremes of negative to oh such a peaceful joyous feeling

 but with time and fantastic assistance i am much grateful of i feel just

 like i am able to overcome

 no not good all the time

 maybe thats impossible

 everytones got emotions.

 but we have sorted it out now.  and life becomes easier to handle iin stride

 and the passion that comes with music 

 and simply pleasures

 i wish there were no pains

 the pleasures come and are also

 what is the color that is the great writhing coitus of life with itself

 as a slender smooth cell eventually growing and changing and splitting to become multitude 

 like a god touching itself

 our universe the chronic masturbator

 living through itself and making

 unaware meat puppets

feeling itself through you and me

 but it is utterly human to be unknown of the realities of a spontaneous percepetion

 you trick of the light

you trick of the light

 foolish child they murmer

foolish child the murmer

 it is just

 there are no rewards

 and he was saddened but he lived

 and he found passion

found a love

found a livelihood

and was at peace

 so heed his actions

 the scraping nags of an inner complainer

 the paranoid little bug that crawls in your ear on its way to your brain.  tell it it has to know  its time is done

 for he trudged on

 and will always do so

 even in the mud up to his knees during a storm

 what else could he do?

 and it was the warmnth of the

 difficult to remember...

 her skin...

 she was beautiful.,..

 ppretttyy.....soofttt....

 but we shall not sink

 trudge and be close to breaking point

 but we shall keep climbing any mountain no matter how steep

 and it was the ultimate they were looking for

 love just a part

 the ultimate

 music just a part

 the ultimate

 happiness just a part

 the ultimate of peace.

[yogafreedom]

As I leaf through old journals from six and seven years ago, I notice how much has changed, and in many ways improved, in my personal life, since then.

It’s a challenge to get through the diaries sometimes, because they starkly show me how intensely neurotic, insecure, and obsessive I was, in my own handwriting. I’m grateful to feel more generally grounded, trusting and accepting these days. Thanks be to yoga and mindfulness.

And yet. Early February’s full moon eclipse in Leo really did a number on me. Still is. You, too? And today is the new moon in Pisces. More shifting sand. March commences on Wednesday. Venus is retrograde. Love is in the water.

I have been delving into new material, gaining new perspectives, shifting paradigms, slightly, almost imperceptibly. Swallowing my pride. Realizing changes that need to occur. So much is being processed, digested, reflected upon, slowly understood. It is good, and it is not easy.

I’m a bit sheltered from the present political sh*tstorm in the USA, due to living south of its borders and consciously limiting the amount of news articles I consume. Nevertheless, my heart goes out to all the folks suffering from anxiety, depression and the like, much of it the direct result of the new administration’s white-supremacist-fueled fear mongering and illegal, immoral abuse of power. I remember all too clearly feeling that way in 2004 when G. W. Bush was re-elected, which now pales in comparison to the current conundrum.

I recently re-watched Groundhog Day, the 1993 comedy starring Bill Murray in which every day when he wakes up, the main character finds himself in the hell realm of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, always the same freezing morning of February 2nd. At first, he is confused (how is this happening? why isn’t anyone else in the movie being similarly affected?), then freaked out and desperate (attempting suicide in a variety of ways, to no avail), then manipulative (learning the backstories of the townspeople and his coworkers, primarily with the aim of getting into Andie MacDowell’s pants), and ultimately surrendering (not until he truly lets go of his ego and authentically strives to help others will tomorrow finally come).

Lately, I, too, have been feeling like every day, every week is the same. I wake up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep for hours, sometimes resting anyway, sometimes–like now–getting up and reading and writing. At some point, my eyelids droop with exhaustion, and I go back to bed. I rise again as the sun rises, and my four-year-old girl makes a sour face at me when I kiss her good morning. A few minutes later, she is in a better mood, back to her sweet and cuddly little self. I plop down on the sunny balcony and sit and breathe. My fabulous black cat, Oscar, curls up in my lap, prompting me to stay a little longer. (He is a feline Zen master.)

So there I sit, listening to the birds, breathing, starting with a grateful heart. I send out loving kindness to my aging parents and grandmothers, my beloved partner, daughter, myself, friends, family, water protectors, neutral acquaintances.

I think of the wise words a friend posted on Facebook last month, along with a head shot of the 45th U.S. President.

Can you LOVE this Man?

Can you feel COMPASSION Toward this Man?

The CHALLENGE: I would suggest that those of us who claim to be Christians or adherents of Buddhist philosophy pray for him or hold him in our good intentions/in the LIGHT. Otherwise, we are really not who we pretend ourselves to be.

I try, and fail, to send metta to He Who Shall Not Be Named and his newly-appointed cabinet of leaders with whom I disagree. May you be safe, happy, healthy and free, I try to say but cannot force myself to genuinely feel it. Universal compassion is put on hold. Like all things, it has to unfold in its own time, organically.

I step away from the cushion and delve into the informal practice of the rest of the day. I eat some papaya, pour a cup of tea, and settle in to open my computer and get to work.

Like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, it gradually dawns on me that getting out of my own head and caring about and helping others is the way to freedom from the mundane. It is the path and the goal.

And so I write, in loopy, messy cursive, endless checklists and poetic stanzas and love letters and random streams of consciousness, as therapy. And so I publish a blog and attempt to connect my heart to yours for this one precious moment. And so I read and feel an immense and simple gladness that the words on the page make sense.

I feel grateful that my old diaries deliver little gems of wisdom that I wrote down so many years ago, like this one:

“Just as the ocean has waves or the sun has rays, so the mind’s own radiance is its thoughts and emotions. The ocean has waves, yet the ocean is not particularly disturbed by them. The waves are the very nature of the ocean.

Waves will rise, but where do they go? Back into the ocean. And where do those waves come from? The ocean. Thoughts and emotions rise from the mind, but where do they dissolve? Back into the mind.

Whatever rises, do not see it as a particular problem. If you do not impulsively react, if you are only patient, it will settle once again into its essential nature.”

~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

May every moment and experience wake us up and be of benefit.

Groundhog Day Inspiration: Reflecting on the Mundane & Magical As I leaf through old journals from six and seven years ago, I notice how much has changed, and in many ways improved, in my personal life, since then.