#it should be more normal to have intimate weddings with close family and friends

[neverluckygoldfish]

45 -

Warning: I got a lot to say (as usual).

I got married!! Again. Hehe, finally had our weekend we booked two years ago. It was absolutely stunning. But it was a lot. Can we normalize not wanting a big wedding or even a wedding at all? Can we normalize wedding anxiety? Can we normalize dreading big events?

Can everyone just understand that I had a difficult childhood so big intense emotions are terrifying for me and I usually use alcohol/drugs to tamp it down so I can still experience them, albeit distantly. Not excusing, just explaining.

Also - hello this shit is expensive! And we had a frugal wedding.

In the sense that, as a bride, I feel like I should be all sparkles in my eyes and over the moon and dancing on a rainbow - but really, it was my nightmare. My ADHD was in overdrive & the whole weekend felt like a blackout. Reading personal intimate vows in front of people? No thank you lol. Having all eyes on me? I’ll pass. Feeling immense pressure to have ONE perfect day? I’d rather crack.

But I did it anyway. I’m glad I did. And I did all the super emotionally intense parts, sober as a priest. Yay!

Some positives: I’m so lucky to have people who will travel just to celebrate with me. My mom made a speech…it was poetic & very sweet. She described me as “radiant, effervescent, and vivacious”. Like?????? :) I love a good vocabulary.

Umm my stepdad made a speech and he was a freaking VIBE. We haven’t always gotten along but he loves my mom fiercely & is so supportive of her. So I can’t really fault the guy, even if sometimes I’m just like *points to head* “wtf is going on up there?”. I also got some quality time with my extended family, whom I rarely see. They flew over two oceans and two continents just to be with me for this day! Like how amazing is that. :)

The whole night looked like something out of a fairytale with a bohemian theme and fairy lights. Turqoiuse waters & perfect white sand. It was dreamy and picturesque and beautiful.

On top of that, I have friends in all places - I’m not really a one group friend. So it’s a little unnerving to have everyone come together (Will they get along? Will there be drama? Will it be awkward? Will I be so focused on everyone else’s experience that I forget to enjoy my own? LOL but really)

But it was so so much better than I could have ever imagined. We all had a blast!

Speaking OF sobriety, yeah we broke that shit. I had my first alcoholic drink in almost 5 months. Now, those of the I bleed AA variety would freak out because yes, I relapsed. And omg haven’t I read the big book that says I can never ever ever have a drink again? What will Bill think? /s

But hear me out: I discussed my choice to drink with my therapist prior to actually doing it. I had a support system and a harm reduction plan in place. And, I’ve been doing a LOT of work in the last few months to identify, forgive, heal myself & limiting beliefs/negative thought patterns. Ya know, the ones that I used alcohol and drugs to cope with. I’m not anywhere close to where I’d like to be but I’m a hell of a lot farther away from who I used to be.

As my therapist put it: “It seems like this is a symbolic decision for you. Kind of like a “fuck you I am in charge of my life & I can make my own decisions and I don’t care what anyone else thinks”. She’s not wrong.

BUT BUT BUT here’s the best part! Yes I drank, however all it did was remind me of how shitty alcohol actually feels. I don’t miss the hangovers one bit. I enjoy feeling semi-stable in my emotional sense. I like feeling clear headed. Also drinking a lot makes you bloated and more susceptible to gaining extra weight. We want to be snatched always!!!!

I am going back to my life with no intention or desire to drink. No desperate wanting to escape. How freaking wild. Now what works for me may not work for anyone else - but again, sobriety & recovery are so unique to everyone. Everyone’s story starts from the same feelings, but recovery is not a one size fits all.

With all of that being said - I feel super good these days. Not in like a manic & overstimulated way, but a sort of quiet peace that comes with feeling like I am really loving myself for all that I have been, all that I am, and all that I will be.

I want to live my life & the idea of all the things I can do is exciting now. I no longer feel (constantly) like I’m drudging through the monotony of life. I know bad days will come. So will good days. Slowly but surely, I am creating new habits that take me further from my past and closer to the light of my future.

I came to the realization that who fucking cares? The world and the people in my life (though with the best of intentions) will tell me who they think I should be. Will tell me how to fit the mold. But I don’t care about fitting the mold anymore. I don’t want to apologize for having needs and existing. I have people who love all the little bits of me and have always loved them, despite my inner critic telling me I have to earn it.

I decide who I am.

I mean, there’s tons of awful fucking people in the world, who are still loved by someone. Like even Hitler had his main squeeze til the final breath. If that’s any consolation lol.

And just from a nerdy math perspective… statistically speaking, there are 8B+ people in the world. If 10 don’t like me or don’t get me, theres 10 more that do!

I trust my inner She to guide me to where I want to be and to attract the people that I need. These days I have faith.

Each day a little better and brighter.

#self love #healing #recovery #mental health #sobriety #healing journey #spiritual growth #addiction recovery #alcoholism #depression recovery #drug relapse #relapse #the little things #baby steps #fall down seven times stand up eight #we keep going #onward and upward #bad days happen but so do good days #happiness #compassion #thanks for coming to my ted talk #self empowerment #self awareness #self reflection #note to self #selflove #higher self #self healing #inner peace #in the moment

[horanimal-10]

“They are her family” I don’t think there is anything wrong with her posting a photo of her family that Christen is in. For example the boat photo or the family photo at the wedding. Those are her right. But to post that photo of Tobin and Christen having a moment on the dock, I’d that photo she took of them on the boat or the one of just CP that she took aren’t for her to decide to post and share with the world. Maybe normal family members but she is very aware of how well known they are so she needs to act different. It may not seem fair, but the rules are definitely different. She has a whole ass private Instagram is she just wanted to share special moments, instead she shared them to her very public instagram. They clearly didn’t want them shared. She needs to be more careful/respectful.

Look, I'm not saying she's right or wrong. I don't know what T&C are okay with her posting. But even if she is crossing a line, it doesn't make it okay for fans to then screenshot those stories and post them everywhere. As I said in response to another ask, two wrongs don't make a right.

To be clear, in a lot of the pics/videos T&C are obviously aware of what she's doing, and most likely aware that it's going to be posted. I'm sure they would let her know if they didn't want it posted. Some of the more intimate moments, however, especially where they might not be aware that she is taking pics/videos, she really shouldn't post publicly. Save it for family and close friends. If T&C called her out on it, good for them. But just because she oversteps that boundary doesn't mean it should be a free-for-all for the unhinged fans. Be the bigger person and let them have their privacy.

#answered

[meetbi]

What are your experiences in a polyamorous triad relationship?

Our experience was truly remarkable. For a period of 30 years within my 47-year marriage, my wife, our girlfriend, and I formed a loving polyamorous triad. It may sound unbelievable, but we genuinely cannot recall ever having an argument. The key to our success lay in the fact that my wife and I had been friends with our girlfriend since our early teenage years, even though I hadn't met my future wife during that time. By the time my wife and I got married, our girlfriend had become an integral part of our lives. We had spent countless hours together, supporting and assisting one another. Unbeknownst to us, our girlfriend identified as bisexual, and my wife had long fantasized about being intimate with women. In a surprising turn of events, my wife offered herself to our girlfriend after her divorce, with the intention of fulfilling both their desires. I suspect my wife had planned for me to join them from the start, as she wanted to explore her attraction to women without my objection. In any case, it was an amazing experience, and we continued to engage in threesomes. Our girlfriend had her own room in our house, which she could use as her own space, and that became our way of life. Seven years into our triad, our girlfriend decided to marry someone else for financial security, as not having spousal rights in old age can be challenging. She specifically sought out a partner who was comfortable with her splitting her time between him and us. We were informed they had an agreement, and we respected her desire to keep her two relationships separate. Interestingly, we did socialize with her husband on several occasions, and he always acted as if everything was normal. It was a bit peculiar but it worked for us. We lived a fulfilling and joyful life together. Each of us fulfilled needs for the other two that couldn't be met within the traditional confines of a monogamous marriage. We were a perfect complement to one another, always prioritizing and respecting the primary relationship of each couple. We had no strict rules about who could be intimate with whom, but in practice, we usually engaged in threesomes as our regular sexual dynamic, followed by one-on-one encounters if anyone desired more intimate time with another partner. We never had to discuss rules because we naturally prioritized consideration and respect for each other. It simply felt ordinary to us, and no one outside our quartet knew about our triad. No one questioned why my wife's best friend spent a lot of time with us, accompanied us on vacations, or attended family functions with us. The women in our triad believed that only those who needed to know should be informed about our relationship dynamic or their bisexuality. They didn't seek approval from family or friends to be true to themselves. Interestingly, it seemed that a wedding ring concealed any suspicions, as no one questioned the closeness of our relationships. We lived our lives authentically while others remained oblivious to our arrangement. For me, it was a dream come true. I never imagined I would experience the love of two women and share such intimate moments with them. Yet, I refrained from boasting or sharing my experiences when other men wished they could have even a single threesome. I had them regularly, but I kept it to myself and simply smiled.

Join us

#polyamourous #couplefindunicorn #bisexuality #bisexual girls #bisexual dating #unicorn dating

[frenchport74]

Event Catering In Bound Brook, Nj

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#外燴

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that society trains women from a young age to be excited about spending thousands of dollars on a dress they will wear in public once...feels a lot like cultural brainwashing 

#it's the capitalism stupid #american wedding culture is absolutely toxic actually #i don't know how bad it is everywhere else but here it's. hm. soul sucking #not a shitpost #rent a dress or buy it used or resell it later but please do not our toxic culture convince you this should be a normal and healthy practice #i've always thought instead of normalizing huge expensive fucking weddngs #(with all the financial and emotional pressure that puts on young couples) #it should be more normal to have intimate weddings with close family and friends #and then after maybe 10 or 20 years or whatever. when the couple has a longstanding stable relationship and hopeful financial stability. #THEN maybe do a larger celebration if they want to. #plus by then they will have accumulated close friends as a couple (friendship changes A LOT after your twenties) #they can invite the friends and found family they've chosen over the course of their life together #instead of like. your mom's cousin you met once 5 years ago or whatever #i think large celebrations definitely have their place especially in tightknit communities #and the history of wedding celebrations across different cultures is super interesting #but the Standard American Wedding is. hm. bad

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Bo Sinclair x Female Reader

Sinclair College AU Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Woo, NONCON ELEMENTS! This was written by demand. Seriously, bug me to write the AUs if you want to read them lol

Underthecut - NSFW, NONCON do not read if you do not like noncon, Dark fic, Vaginal sex, brief mention of anal, Bruises, creampie and Brief mentions of pregnancy

You shivered as Bo brought the blankets over you, cooing at how tired you must be, how you'll need all the rest you can get.

The dull ache throbbed throughout your body. Your toes hurt from curling them repeatedly, your hips hurt, from Bo's near incessant pounding and nails digging into your hips. Your breasts were sore, nipples teased and played with so long, his stubble scratched along your valley. Your neck was bruised, a feint handprint along the front mixed in with hickeys. Your lips sore and dry, lip gloss smeared around your mouth.

Dried tears over your cheeks, into your hair, onto the pillow.

"Hey, c'mon Sweets." Bo leaned in to kiss your cheek, making you squeeze your stomach in response, "Hey, you're good." He sat next to you, lightly patting your cheek, "Y'did so good for me, hm? So perfect." He leaned in, lips inches from your cheek, "Just like you've always been."

Bo looked down at you, bit his lower lip as your eyes remained vacant, body reacting out of an impulse to his touch, but emotionally wrought.

"You can rest for a lil while but then we gotta clean ya up, Sweets."

You cringed at the nickname, what was once a cute endearing term made your stomach turn.

"Rest for a bit, then we shower." Bo leaned in to kiss your temple, kissed your cheek ad a chaste kiss over your sore lips.

You curled into yourself, letting the motel blanket, stale smell, and lull you into a weak state of slumber.

Bo walked over to the chair, grabbing his crotch as he sat down, letting his chub rest against his thigh. He tapped his foot on the cheap carpeted floor. He leaned back to rummage through his stuff on the table, grabbing a joint and lighting it up.

He took a hit, leaned back. He listened, listened as the cars outside drove by, tires hissing along the wet pavement. A random dog barking, its deep thundering barks upsetting another tenant enough he heard a woman shouting for the thing to shut up.

The rain hit along the window, repeated taps along it felt commoning to Bo. The dull noise helped with his racing thoughts.

Bo wanted to curl into you, wrap his arms around you, kiss along your shoulder, laugh as you playfully reprimand him "Bo, stop! Your stubble is tickling me!" He smiled, "Bo, least you could do is just kiss me."

He coughed, smoke sputtered out through his lips. A deep hum rumbled from his chest, the image of you and him on the bed, curled into each other came so easily. Just like that one Valentine's day...

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Bo held you in his arms, hand running up and down your back. He kissed your lips, groaning as you let him slip your tongue in.

He cupped your cheek, tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Your moans spurred him on, his thigh pushed in between your legs, spreading you out for him.

"Bo...again?" You asked in a whisper.

"You know you got another round in ya." He kissed you again as he angled his cock at your entrance, grunted as his cock head was met with your warmth. "Ah, sure feels like you're ready." He pushed in, his hands grabbing your wrists to pin them above your head.

Deep intimate strokes have you cantering into him, "Bo..."

"Daddy, c'mon you know how we do this."

"Daddy, please, I want more."

Bo pulled out all the way and bucked forward, a quiet laugh as you squirmed under him.

He picked up speed, huffing and moaning above you. Placed sloppy kisses along your neck, sucking and biting, groaning at the fresh bruises forming along the skin.

"Daddy, ah, more." You freed your wrists from his grasp and ran your hands down his back, resting your hands on his ass. You pushed him further into you, "Daddy please, deeper in me."

His cock twitched in response, "You like when Daddy fucks you? You just need me fuckin' you always."

He kissed you as you moaned in response, hands traveled to the back of his hair, fingers threading through his brown hair.

Bo's hips grew sloppy, your pussy clenched around him as he pushed in deeper and deeper. He wanted to scream out his release, get another call from the front desk. Telling him that there have been noise complaints coming from his room.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in, his movements became shallow, you felt his cock throb within you.

Bo moaned into the kiss, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself into you. He grinned as you sobbed under him, mewling out praises, whimpering how full he was making you feel.

"Daddy, you keep coming in me, and it might just take." He wheezed, running a hand over his forehead to brush away the sweat.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" His smile fell as you gave him a mortified look.

Reality hit him, "Bo, I can't get pregnant. I'm only in my second year of University! I need my degree first. How in the hell can I have a baby? I can't afford it, I can barely afford my classes."

He groaned at your rambling, he knew you were right, knew that realistically you could never afford a baby, that a degree gave you and your children together with a better shot.

He hummed in agreement, pulled you back into him, "Shh, we'll figure it out later." He kissed your forehead, growled as you nipped at his neck.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bo sat up and walked over to you on the bed, "C'mon, we need to shower now."

You remained still, eyes closed, face turning into the pillow.

Bo pulled off the blankets, a hard breath through his nose as he took you in. He lifted you into his arms, pressed kisses to the top of your head, mumbling at how sweaty you smelled and tasted.

He walked into the shitty motel bathroom, a far cry from the last time you ever shared on together on Valentine's day.

The yellow light and avocado green sink, toilet, and tub held a nasty hue.

Bo looked at himself in the mirror as he held you, his eyes held a light pink hue (the weed), bags under his eyes, his hair sticking to his forehead. He grinned taking in the bruises along his shoulders and chest. A mixture of teeth marks and fists.

He set you down, an arm around your waist to steady you.

"Okay, Sweets, gonna get you clean. How many days has it been?"

You swayed in your spot, eyes downcast.

"About five days, best to get you clean." He leaned in to place a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

He turned on the water, the steam rising up to the ceiling. "Let's step in."

The water felt euphoric on your skin, washing away the last five days of bodily fluids. Bo's dried saliva, the dried semen on your front, the bits you couldn't fully wipe off your face. The hot water kissed your bruises, a pleasant ache from the hot touch.

You stared at the yellow shower tile, steadying a breath as Bo rubbed his hands over your body. You let your mind race, let it fall into a day more pleasant thoughts.

You thought of Vincent, his arms around you, holding you close, outside the library. Tears spilled as you cursed yourself, wishing you blew off Dan to accompany Vincent. Wanted to sleep in Vincent's arms like you had been almost every night since you started dating.

"Sweets?" Bo patted your cheek, "You good?"

You snapped your attention to Bo, his thumb whipping away your tears, "Might be in the shower but your red eyes are giving you away." He kissed you, tongue running along your lips.

Bo retched back, hand raised up to his cheek, he looked at his fingers, the blood trailing down.

You held a feral look, your eyes hed a feral glare, your nails with blood being cleaned by the running hot water.

"I. Want. Vincent!" You punctuated each word. Teeth bared to the tall man in front of you. You looked through him, not taking in his baby blues, his confused expression.

Bo gave you a booming laugh, you jumped as he grabbed your wrist, "Five days of this and you still want him. I thought I could get you cock drunk on me."

Be spun you around as he pushed you against the tile. Your front pressed into the slimy uncleaned surface had you gagging.

You steadied a breath again, letting your mind race to Vincent. Not Bo poking his cock along your entrance.

"Y'know, you should be pregnant by now, I think the other whole is a little lonely." You fought back a scream.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vincent ran through the campus, running up to the Flamingo dorms. He had no time to think about how silly it was that the campus dorms have animal mascots.

Brahms burst through the dorm's door. Pulling on his jacket as he scratched his stubble.

Vincent ran up to him, knowing his girlfriend was a friend of his own, "Hey, Brahms, you seen Y/n? Has your girl seen her?"

"No, Princess hasn't seen her."

Vincent would normally smirk at Brahm's nickname for his girl. It was fitting, Brahms did treat her like a Princess. The gifts, the lavish vacation he took her on, she was even invited to a family wedding.

"She did mention that she has yet to get ahold of her though, apparently Dan is upset that they missed their study dates."

Vincent slapped his leg in frustration.

"I haven't seen her in five days. I've talked with my brother but I haven't seen him either." Vincent breathed in heavily, he staggered back.

Brahms reached for him, steadying his friend, "Bo probably took her."

Vincent's eye went wide.

"I mean, think about it, is it that hard to get to that conclusion. You fuck her, start dating her, flaunt how good you've both been to each other. Bo's always been, Bo. Masking his insecurity with macho bravado, hitting on pretty girls, and when they take the low-hanging fruit it fuels his ego. For a day, at least. And the one girl who managed to escape his low-level bullshit falls into his brother's arms, of course, he's pissed."

Vincent clenched his fist, "You justifying my brother?"

"No," Brahms stood up straight, arms over his chest, "Remember when I punched him for bugging my Princess? He tried to jump me a week later. For me," Brahms gave Vincent a cocky smile, "Was nothing. I can only imagine if he had anger towards a female."

Vincent's blood went cold at Brahms words. "Y'sure?"

"Hm, I am an actor! I observe people constantly, I am not known as the best method actor this school has ever had for nothing!" Brahms puffed up his chest, his cocky smile faded as he watched Vincent's shakes become near tremors.

"Look, Vincent, Have you been to the police, her parents, sibling? or whatever?" Brahms leaned closer to Vincent, a sympathetic hand remained on his shoulder.

"Yeah...her parents said...she sounded a little shaken up but fine. They said it was stress. The police are useless."

Brahms laughed, "When are they useful?" He frowned when Vincent shot him a glare.

"Okay, no joking, though not a joke, Look, I'll get Princess later and us three can go around asking for her, okay. I'll even ask my drama teacher to put pressure on the campus police."

Vincent nodded a weak defeated nod.

His hope had been diminishing day by day. He missed class and called into work. The past five days were spent on you, finding you, wanting you back in his arms. The sick feeling in his gut knew you were being held by him...the other half of him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat on the bed, your clothes back over your, the warmth they offered little comfort.

"Okay, Sweets, we're gonna get going, alright?" He nudged your shoulder.

"I need to get back to class, Bo. I need to finish my degree." You said lifelessly as if on autopilot.

"You will don't worry." He kissed the crown of your head, inhaling your scent. "Sweets you smell so damn good. So clean for her Daddy."

Your throat felt tight, the urge to barf suppressed as you pinched yourself.

"Why did you cheat on me?"

Bo looked down at you, head cocked, "Cheat on you?"

"Yes."

"I never cheated on you."

"Don't fucking lie to me, Bo!"

He stepped back, hand running over his bandaged cheek. He composed himself, leaning over you, "You better watch your tone." He growled.

The past five days had gotten to you, a resentment, and anger bubbled to the surface, "You date me, Cheat on me, on valentine's day. And you expect me to never be angry, never be upset. And you get mad when I cheat on you. fuck you, Bo. I meant nothing to you. You're nothing to me."

You screamed as Bo shoved you down onto the bed, his large hands pressed hard into your arms, he huffed above you, "Nothing to me? Did I not just spend the last five days lovin' you? Being intimate with you? Shared the most wonderful experience two people together could experience together?"

He shook you as you failed to answer, "Hm? That Valentine's day meant everything to you. This meant everything to you." Bo kissed your tears, gritted his teeth and he shook your head under him.

Bo cheated, he knew this. Knew why he cheated. Self-sabotage as always.

How could someone so sweet, caring, friendly, and loving as you fall for him, why would you? Bo was awful, downright awful, his own parents even said so.

"You'll see, Sweets, you'll see our love grow within you."

You sobbed under him, you murmured Vincent's name, repeating it over and over, as if you said it enough he'd burst through the door, saving you from Bo's hell.

#Bo sinclair #Bo Sinclair x reader #Bo sinclair x you #Bo sinclair imagine #Vincent sinclair #brahms heelshire #house of wax 2005 #smut #Lemon #Dark fic

[theglitterypages]

Title: Secret Life of Levi Ackerman Part 1

Part Two

Pairings: Levi x fem! Reader

Summary: When Levi noticed that his brats are all tired, hungry some are even injured, he decided to tell them to retreat and brought them to a village nearby and a big secret was revealed.

Word Count: 2000+

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry if this is a bad one. There will be errors ahead so bear with me guys, I will edit it soon once I have the time.

••••••

“Levi, where are we going?" Hanji asked when Levi ordered everyone to retreat, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie was puzzled too but they didn't choose to question the Captain. They trust the man and they know Levi wouldn't get them killed purposely.

Levi sighed as he looked back to Hanji, exhaustion was evident in his face. “We need to rest, there's a village nearby and we'll have some break there.” Levi plainly answered. The captain looked back at the kids and gestured them to follow, “Go faster, brats.” he smirked.

••••

You were busy cooking for your lunch when you heard horses neigh nearby. You carefully walked to the living room to look outside your window to see what was happening and you gasped when you saw a man outside your house.

You immediately opened the door just to see 6 other people that doesn't seem familiar to you, most of them were young and they were petting their horses. “Lev...I didn't know you'll go home today.” you looked at Levi and he smiled apologetically as he looked behind him, gesturing the kids behind. “These brats are probably hungry now, two of them are wounded too. Sorry if I came home like this.” your gaze landed at the kids and at the woman smiling at you.

“Well, I was just cooking. Leave the horses here and go inside.” you called them out.

Even if they are clueless, the whole squad came inside. It was a decent looking home, not that big but not small either, just enough for a family of four or five. “Sit down, all of you. Wait for me here.” Levi ordered. The kids sat down while Hanji curiously looked around her, puzzled of why Levi brought them here.

Levi followed you to the kitchen and hugged you from behind, you giggled quietly and turned to face him.

“You look tired.” you pointed out.

“Sorry, we just lost almost half of—” you cut him off by pressing your fingers in his lips, you wouldn't want to heart it because you know that talking about it breaks Levi even more. “Shh, I know. For now, give the kids some bread while I cook. I'll treat their wounds too.” you kissed his cheek and pulled away from him so you could see if the food is cooking well.

“This was not what I've promised you when we got married.” Levi whispered. It didn't look like he was saying it to you, he's actually saying it to himself.

The two of you has been married for three years, you met him when he got accidentally wounded while fighting the titans, your cousin, Erwin went home with an injured Levi and because of your knowledge in medicine you were the one who treated Levi's wounds.

Every time you'll visit Erwin, you'll be seeing Levi too, at first he would just greet you and would leave after that but when you visited Erwin one day and he was nowhere to be found, Levi accompanied you all day, he wasn't talkative but he's a nice guy, people just tend to be scared of the way he stares and the way he speaks because he's so straightforward.

The two of you became friends, got closer and closer until romance blooms amidst all of the ongoing chaos. After 6 months, he asked Erwin if he could marry you, your parents are long gone and the only family you have is Erwin.

Erwin had no complain about you and Levi that's why the two of you got married immediately, it was an intimate ceremony, only those who are close enough were allowed to witness the wedding and it was more than fine to you, the most important part is you married the love of your life. That was more than enough.

For three years, the only time you could see Levi is during weekends, the time where he would leave his squad temporarily to go home to you and if there are not much expeditions outside the wall he comes home with Erwin's permission during weekdays.

Of course, there are times where he couldn't even go home to you but you understand, really, Erwin talked to you about marrying Levi, a man who's serving in Survey Corps would be tough, especially every time that they're outside the walls there's no guarantee that they'll come back alive but you still said yes, that is how much you love Levi and you've always trust him and his promise that he'll do his best to come home.

“But I know the man I married, Levi. I know that you can only go home to me during weekends and it's completely fine, I know there's a chance you'll go home with broken hand or foot, it scares the shit out of me but as I've said, I know who I married.” you cupped his face and pressed your lips against his, a silent reminder that despite o everything happened or anything that would happen, you will stay with him.

Levi close his eyes as he snaked his arms on your waist and pulled you closer as if he's holding onto his life. He kissed you back passionately and when he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours.“What did I do to deserve a woman like you?” he smiled bitterly, you let out a chuckle and combed his hair using your fingers.

“We all deserve some time to rest from the cruel world, my love. I will be your rest.”

Levi didn't move, he just stared into your eyes as he holds you close to his chest, in this chaos, you're the only one that brings him peace, the only one who motivates him to stay alive so he could come home, you're the one that makes him feel normal and every time that he'll come home to you, it feels like he's a normal man, a normal husband.

And he's starting to hate himself because he realized how ridiculous the whole set up was, he loves you so much and yet you couldn't even have him by your side all the time, that fact breaks his heart and that fact also motivates him to work harder so he could eliminate the titans so he could finally put his weapons down and be with you.

That's what he wanted, a peaceful life with you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Lev. Go and give these breads to the kids for Pete's sake.”

Hanji looked at the kids beside her, they all look exhausted and mortified because they witnessed deaths again but it's the consequence of serving in Survey Corps, no one should hesitate to sacrifice their lives because every deaths would be an aid to humanity.

The silence was deafening, it was a silent mourning of the kids who saw their comrades die and Hanji gave them the silence that they need, they're still new to this and she understands that they'll always be shaken up.

“Oi, here's some bread and water. How's the arm, Connie and Jean?"

“It hurts but we're fine Captain." the two answered. Levi sat across from the group and he sensed that everyone has been itching to ask the questions that had formed in their head but there's one person who looks to be more excited to know everything that's why Levi called out that person. “Okay, you have questions, Eren.” he began, Eren looked up, shocked that Levi has deduced that he wanted to ask something.

He's just curious but if Levi wouldn't want to answer he would respect his decision, anyway.

“W-Who is she?" He stammered.

“I'm Y/N...” You answered as you sat beside Levi who immediately put his arms around you, in return, you let your hand rest in his thigh, slowly caressing it with your hand, it's a thing that you do that he loves so bad.

“She's my wife...” he announced. He has to say it in the most simple way, there's no need to be dramatic because their reaction would be dramatic anyway.

Hanji's jaw literally dropped on the floor while the kids were all frozen.

“WAIT...WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?! SHE'S—OH MY GOD YOU'RE COMMANDER ERWIN'S COUSIN HOLY FUCK THAT'S WHY YOU'RE FAMILIAR OH MY GOD!”

You laughed loudly at Hanji's reaction, she's the first one to talk because the kids seems to not know what to say perhaps they're just trying to weigh things about the whole situation. It would be really shocking but it's not like Levi purposely hid the fact that he's married, you know that he's just trying to make your life as normal as it was before marrying him but marrying a man Levi would never be normal.

“Well, you know that Lev's not the type of person to talk about himself, right?” Hanji put a hand on her chest as she tried processing the information she heard just now. Now she realized how Levi would always disappear after expeditions, how he would have some things to ‘take care of’ during weekends, the way Erwin would remind him to come back alive, it was because Levi has someone waiting for him and it is you.

“Ah, I remember, who's injured?” you changed the topic as you remember Levi talking about two wounded kids.

“Us.” Connie and Jean answered in unison.

You smiled and stood up to look for your first aid kit, it's a must to have this considering your husband does come home with wounds, you hated it when he comes home injured but at least he's alive, right? “Lev, can you check if the food is cooked already?” you looked at Levi before sitting between Jean and Connie.When Levi heard your order he didn't complain and just made his way to the kitchen.

Mikasa's mouth gaped open, she doesn't really expect Levi to follow someone's order if it's not Erwin but he obeyed you too quickly to the point that she's wondering if this is the same Levi, the captain.

“What are your names?” You asked as you put a bandage in Connie's arms.

“A-Armin...”

“Mikasa.”

“Connie...”

“Jean.”

“Eren.”

“Ah...Hanji.”

You looked at the girl named Mikasa, she's really pretty but you noticed how her eyes looks so sad her eyes are beautiful but they've become dull her eyes would've been more beautiful if its sparkling because of glee.

And when you looked over at the blonde boy named Armin, the teen immediately blushed before looking down. A small smile made its way across your lips he's really cute.

“Oi, Oi, Oi, why are you blushing, brat?” Levi appeared. His tone was dangerous and Armin's eyes widened as he looked up at the Captain, the poor kid looks so scared that's why you decided to walk towards Levi and pinch him on his waist lightly, “Stop scaring him. He looks so cute and tiny, I want to adopt him, well all of them.” you giggled.

“Unfortunately, I don't want to adopt brats.” Levi snorted as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“Shut up, I know you love them. They told ne their names, they're the kids you're talking about.” You exposed him. The thing that most people wouldn't believe about your husband is that he's talkative maybe just because of you but Levi always tell stories whenever he gets home.

Most of the time it would be about his expeditions, you encourage him to tell you everything both good and bad as you don't want Levi to carry the burden alone, he may be called as humanity's strongest soldier but Levi is still a human after all. You want to make it easy for him, let him feel that he's not alone.

You saw how shocked the teens were and you smiled sweetly before placing your hand in Levi's chest.

“Don't mind Levi, he's just embarrassed to admit it but he loves all of you and he's proud of all of you like a dad.”

Levi looked away when the kids sent him a look even Hanji did but he wouldn't have to deny it because he does talk about them whenever he gets home, as much as he hates them for being all loud and messy, he just have to admit that he also loves these kids. Even if they're all brats.

“Tch. The food is ready, let's eat.”

End of Part 1

#levi ackerman fanfiction #levi attack on titan #levi aot #levi x reader #captain levi #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi fluff #aot x y/n #aot levi #aot x you #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #reader insert

[insanelydeadlybookcollector]

Soooo now you've watched all of S1-4, when do you think Mondler startted fancying each other? Like, specifically for each of them? Do you think it was always there, or on and off? I count you as the internet's Mondler expert so I'm v interested to hear your thoughts! x

First off, thank you. That's really sweet. This is a huge question and I want to do it justice. Let me know if this makes any sense.

We'll start with Chandler.

I think Chandler has had a crush on Monica almost the entire time he's known her. It might have started as simple friendship but somewhere in those early years as they teased Ross he realised she laughed at all of his jokes and have him all of his attention. No one has ever done that for him before.

I think it happened slowly for him but he's always been aware of it. He knows the reason he doesn't like doesn't like her dates, and even Rachel at the beginning, because she deserves better and she doesn't see him. He tolerates them, of course, and won't say anything about them not being good enough, she deserves better than that. But he can't help but wonder if he'd be better for her than Paul and Alan and Fun Bobby.

Chandler has always found himself dating women that are similar to Monica and that's no accident. He has a type, yes, but it's not strong confident brunettes, it's her. He might not doing consciously and I don't think there's any malicious intent, but every woman he dated reminds him of Monica a little and that's why he's attracted to them and why it won't ever work. Look at Janice and Joanna's personalities and Kathy's haircut.

So, from the beginning he's been aware of his crush on her. It comes and goes, flaring up again when she's hurt or upset or wants to spend time with him above anybody else. He won't ever do anything about it, doesn't want to ruin their friendship, he's never had a family like this one and losing Monica would be the worst in itself but it would also mean losing everyone else. But sometimes he wonders if they could cross the line, if he could put his arm around her on the chair and know it meant something, if he could make certain she would never cry again because of some loser date. Sometimes he wonders if he should be feeling this way, if she can see it, if she might ever feel the same way, and every so often he'll offer him himself, but until London she hadn't taken him seriously.

I think having him crush on her for most of preMondler without intending on doing anything about it most of the time (I don't want to taint those beautiful friendship moments) makes things like Chandler adamantly believing they're "meant to be together" make sense and justify why he thought London was "the most romantic night if his life" and was so upset that it wasn't them finally admitting to themselves they felt something more in The Truth About London.

Monica's a little more difficult.

She definitely had a crush on him the first time she met him. She undoubtedly thought he was attractive and funny and the first person who really, even off-handedly believed in her. Of course he ruined that with a hurtful frat comment and she tried to hate him. And it was easy when he wasn't in her life, but seeing him again made her heart race.

And then she cut off his toe. She's not sure how, but that's when they became friends. Clearly, he was embarrassed by it, but he never blamed her. He would laugh about being teased at school, not sure how his friends had found out, and roll his eyes over the table at her at her doofus brother and it was nice to have someone agree with her that he wasn't God's gift like he thought he was. It was nice to have a friend like him, easy to talk to and constant.

She had thought something might happen between them when she told him the apartment across from her was for sale. She knew it was expensive, it wasn't passed down from a family member, so she thought maybe there was another reason he'd taken it. They had dinner together and walked each other to work and shared their lunch breaks in local cafes and played pool in the bar but nothing had ever happened. They teased and they touched in the most intimate ways, his fingers on the bare skin of her arm when he wanted her attention, but nothing ever eventuated. She started thinking maybe he didn't feel the same.

So her crush for him lay dormant for years. A few times it reared its head, always at the wrong time. She would see him running lines with Joey, playing with Ben, listening to Phoebe talk about her grandmother and her heart would just clench, stopping for a second because she saw him. She saw who he was and what he was capable of and Aurora didn't see it and no one else seemed to want it. It wasn't a crush so much as it was love for him and all he does silently for his friends but because so much time had past and nothing had ever happened, she brushed it aside as anything but what it was.

There were times when she would think he was teasing in the daylight but moonbeams and streetlights shining through her window would make her see the shadows on his face when she thought about the way she had snapped or laughed when she rejected him. In those hours she worried that what she was feeling was that old crush coming back and not merely concern for her friend. She worried he would stop asking and she worried that she didn't want him to.

She had even thought, giddily, that the night they had kissed at Joey's party would eventuate into something more. She often lay awake with the ghost of his lips on hers, his tongue tasting hers and wondered how the universe could be so cruel as to not let him remember it.

It was on their trip home from the beach when he sat on the opposite side of the cab that Monica realised it might be more than merely friendship. He didn't want to touch her, didn't want to press his shoulder against hers or let her rest her head on him and it hurt, deep in her soul, wondering if he would ever offer himself to her again and vowing she would say yes the next time he did. But he'd dropped the subject, she'd asked him to play cards but he didn't out and out ask her the way he had a few days prior and she did her best to let him know she would say yes but she's not certain he got the message.

And then came Kathy. She'd never seen him like that, desperate to be loved by the woman he thought he lived, worried he was hurting his friend. And then doing everything he could to make sure she stayed in his life once they were together. While they were together she had worried that Chandler would leave her, move out to Hollywood to be with this woman who didn't love him back but it was worse after they broke up. He had no time for her and she had no time for him with work and the wedding and giving Rachel advice and taking care of Phoebe and she was mad that he'd won her apartment. They were further than ever before from each other. But then he'd look across the table and hand her part of the paper, or host a pretty good party, or barge into her personal space like he always would and everything was normal, the same as it always was. She's not sure who initiated it but they started spending more time together than ever before. She'd come over for breakfast and he'd plant himself on on the same chair as her when she watched a movie to relax. They made sure they had time just the two of them like they always had, sitting side by side on the orange lounge before everyone else joined them in Central Perk.

Only she knew things now. She knew that he loved fiercely and desired loyalty and was near and tidy and determined. He fought for what he wanted in little ways and protected himself by closing off from everyone but her. She knew he went weeks simply cuddling with a girlfriend and was both so truthful and so good in bed a girl came rushing over to thank her for the lesson she'd given him, not that it really mattered. It was things she already knew, mostly, but maybe the first time she'd seen them all at once.

She'd realised then, somewhere late in season four that he need for him to not be sad, to always be on her team, to sit beside her and help her with groceries, it was more than friendship and she wanted to know where it could lead. And she decided she would once they got back from London.

In short, they've both always had a crush, there's always been something magnetic between them. Chandler's always known but tried to fight it, tried to hide it because he thinks she deserves better, and Monica let her crush get burried under her career and her desire to value his friendship above everybody else's. But she'd always felt it too. And I genuinely think one or both of them would have acted on it in season five even if London didn't happen.

#mondler #chandler and monica #monica and chandler #chandler x monica #monica x chandler #premondler #friends tv #pre-mondler #monica geller and chandler bing

[semisgroupie]

Hello! I hope you’re having a nice day and if it’s not too much to ask for. May I request a Ushijima Angst where they’re both married and it’s kinda failing bcs Ushijima is not really there so there’s no one for reader to love :’( You can decide what’ll happen whether it be they both end up getting divorced or Ushijima will do something about it. Reader is done trying bcs Ushijima isn’t there...

Thank you 💗

Ahh right up my alley, angst. And thank for requesting my wonderful lovely 💗 and a huge thank you to being my first request!! Extra smooches for you 😘🥰! I hope this satisfies your request, I like how it turned out! 

Ushijima Angst Request for anon

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi X GN!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff (at the end)

Marrying a pro athlete was tough. You knew that when you first started dating all those years ago and once you two got married 3 years ago it got harder.

Long times apart, barely speaking to each other besides a phone call here and there and it was killing you. Whenever Wakatoshi was home, he just spent the time studying more games to get better.

At first you didn’t mind but now it’s just too much. Whenever you would try to talk to him it was just little grunts here and there or he just didn’t hear what you said. Whenever you tried to initiate something intimate he would just push you off with a “not right now Y/N” or a “I’m just not in the mood”. 

It was bothering you a lot and the more it happened the more anger boiled within you and it just needed to be let out. 

“Toshi, let’s go out for dinner tonight. It’s been a while since we last went—” You cut yourself off realizing your husband was just sitting there watching the same replay of the last set of the game he just came back home from.

“Toshi are you listening to me?”

“Mhm.”

“Then what did I just say?”

“Something about dinner. Just cook whatever Y/N I love your cooking.”

Something about that statement just set you off, all you heard was ringing in your ears. Just like a whistle of a tea kettle overpowered anything else. 

“That’s it!” You raising your voice made Wakatoshi turn his gaze from the game replay to you with wide eyes. “I can’t take it anymore! I’m surprised you said you loved my cooking because it seems like the only thing you love is volleyball, not even your own spouse.”

“Y/N please—”

“No Wakatoshi, I’m going to finish then you can speak.” Wakatoshi has never heard this side of you before and he was just in shock. “You come in here after your away games and it’s like I don’t even exist to you. When you put this ring on my finger, when we shared our vows in front of both of our families and friends, when I officially took your last name and made it my own it made me so excited for the future. If I knew that this was going to be my future I would have changed my mind and given it more thought. I am so tired of being the only one in this marriage that’s trying to make it work. How do you expect me to love someone who’s so absent in this marriage? I can’t take this anymore Wakatoshi. I hate to say this but I think we need to get a divorce. I would say we need to separate and think things over but I have had more than enough time to do that. I’m going to my sister’s house and once I find a lawyer we can make it official.” 

His jaw dropped. He was thinking everything over. Thoughts of “was I really that absent? Did I actually do all they’re telling me?” was going through his mind. When he finally collected his thoughts he spoke. 

“I—I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn’t realize I was so caught up in my career that I was so absent. I love you, Y/N, I really do.” 

“It’s too late for sorry Wakatoshi.” With that you went upstairs to pack your things to go to your sister’s house. After a couple of minutes he followed you upstairs leaning on the doorframe watching you pack your things feeling guilt pool at the pit of his stomach along with a pain in his chest. 

“Y/N please don’t go.” 

You finished packing when you turned to face your husband. “I can’t stay here now Wakatoshi, I need to go.” You grabbed the bag and walked past him going downstairs to your car. He slowly followed you each step you took made his heart break into more pieces. He watched you put your bag in the trunk and drive off. Once your car was out of sight that was when he broke down.

That night he held the picture you both took on your wedding day close to him while he sobbed. You were both so happy that day, it was the happiest day of his life, he’ll always cherish that day even more than when he got the news he got on Japan’s national team. 

You were gone for about two weeks and each night he cried himself to sleep. At practice he was off, missing easy spikes and messing up serves; his teammates even recommended he should take time off to get back on his game. That night he drives to your sister’s place to try to win you back. To get his life back to normal.

He had brought a radio on the way over remembering one of your favorite movie scenes in Say Anything where John Cusack held a boombox over his head to proclaim his love. When Wakatoshi finally made it over to your sister’s house his nerves were through the roof. 

He took a few deep breaths in and grabbed the portable radio playing your wedding song at the highest volume. On your wedding day At Last by Etta James played while you two shared your first dance as spouses. 

He held it over his head singing along to the words, hoping you would hear it, hoping you were inside. You were sitting in the guest bedroom when you heard the song. You shook your head thinking it was all in your head then when you heard a deep voice singing along with it your heart skipped a beat. 

“Wakatoshi’s here?” You ran over to the window and saw him standing there. All 6 feet 3 inches of him, you couldn’t help but smile at him there because you thought he forgot about your favorite movie scene when you both watched it all those years ago. 

Your feet moved before you were able to acknowledge you were moving. You ran down the steps and opened the front door of your sister’s house and ran to Wakatoshi. He couldn’t even prepare to put the radio down before you tackled him to the ground hugging him. Luckily there was enough plush grass on the ground to prevent him from getting hurt too badly. 

He sat up holding you in his arms as tight as possible. “Never let me go Y/N. Never leave me again. I’m so sorry I didn’t show you how much I loved you sooner. Please don’t divorce me please—” 

You cut him off by pressing your lips against his. Once you two pulled away you both saw each other’s tear stained faces. “I love you Wakatoshi, this time apart killed me. I’m sorry I even thought about getting a divorce. Let’s go back home.”

You two went back home. From that point on the marriage got a lot better. You often went to his games, you went to all the home games and he even took you on some away games. Seeing you in the stands made him perform his best. From that moment on he realized he would never take you or your love for granted ever again.

Requests are OPEN!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #hq x reader #hq angst #hq fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #ushijima angst #ushijima fluff #hq ushijima

[bored-mumma]

Thor Odinson - Fluff alphabet

MASTERLIST

A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?

Thor found your bravery unbelievably attractive. It would never matter who you were up against, you always gave it your all and never ever backed down. He admired that about you. 

B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

He wouldn’t mind children. His entire life he had always yo-yo’d between wanting them or not but he believes now he’s finally made the decision to have them. Having a son or daughter to carry on the family name and to pass on his wisdom, it sounds like a dream.

C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?

His arm beneath your head, you using it as a pillow. You would cuddle into his side as he uses his other hand to stroke shapes onto your skin. 

D = Dates. What are dates with them like?

Very, very rare. Thor wasn’t particularly keen on actual dates. You would more just spend your evenings together watching the telly or going for walks. Its very simple but rather intimate moments, although not technically dates.

E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my reason to smile.

F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?

It took Thor a little while to realise his feelings for you. He would love to admit it was love at first sight but it wasn’t. He always thought you were very good looking, very kind, very intelligent. But it did take Thor nearly a year to realise that he doesn’t just like spending time with you because you’re a good friend of his. He realised he could never stop thinking about you and when you said someone had asked you for a drink, a wave of jealousy went through him - Making him finally realise his love for you.

G = Gentle. Are they gentle? If so, how?

He’s always gentle with you. He knows his strength and will always be careful. Not just physically though but emotionally or verbally too. Even if Thor is extremely angry or upset, he’ll never yell at you. He’ll never speak harshly or say things he may regret. He’s a gentle giant.

H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?

Gently with your fingers intertwined. 

I = Impression. First impression/s?

He didn’t really notice you much. You were just another Stark employee hired to help the Avengers as much as possible. It wasn’t until the both of you had to work pretty closely for a mission that Thor really started to notice you.

J- Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?

Not particularly. He’ll joke around with you and have fun but actual pranks he’s not too keen. Probably a side effect of growing up with Loki as a brother.

K = Kiss. How do they kiss?

He usually gently holds your chin in his large hands, lifting your face to look at him. He’ll start off gently dragging his lips against yours but will quickly turn more needy.

L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

You did. You were always the more forward one in this relationship and had no problem admitting you were utterly in love with the God. At first, Thor was taken back at your vocalised love but it only took a moment for him to return it

M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?

When he brought you to Asgard to meet his family - more importantly, to meet his mother. He would never admit it but he was desperate for her approval. Which of course, she gave. Watching you and his mother happily chatting, speaking of your mutual admiration of Thor and of each other, made his heart swell with pride. 

N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

Not so much on Earth as he doesn’t have much money. But when you go to Asgard? oh my god. Everyday is a new outfit for you to wear with matching accessories and shoes. Everyday is a new bath scent for you. Everyday he’ll bring you books, flowers, food, art, jewels. You always try to return the favour but Thor is definitely the God of gift giving.

O = Orange. What colour reminds them of their other half?

Red. His signature colour that you started to wear a lot when you began dating seriously. Thor will always buy you some red roses or red earrings because the view of you wearing his colours is one he’ll dream of with a smile for the rest of his life.

P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?

My dear or my Darling are the most common.

Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?

Horse riding. It’s a very normal thing to do on Asgard  but on Midguard its a little less modern. 

R = Rainy Day

Thor loves the rain! He bought an extra large umbrella to hold for you both when you go for a rainy day walk. He finds them so peaceful and enjoys your company.

S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?

His sadness tends to turn into anger. When that happens he’ll throw himself into battles and take it out on anyone on the opposite side. You will always try to help him, to get him to talk. But sometimes you just need to allow him to get on with it in the way he deems fit.

T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?

He loves to learn about you and your culture. Not just that but loves just hearing about you in general. Every evening he’ll ask how your day was and unlike most people, he’s honestly interested in what you want to say.

U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?

Thor adores you playing with his hair. He’ll sit on the floor with you sat on the chair behind him and rest his head on your thighs. Dragging your nails across his scalp, you’ll style, plait and play with it as it relaxes you too.

V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

His history. There is nothing he loves more than telling people tales of the glorious battles he’s fought or of the amazing planets he’s visited. Tales you will never get tired of hearing.

W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?

He had planned the perfect proposal. He took Clint with him to find a ring - him being the only Avenger with a long, successful marriage. He planned a romantic day of your favourite things only to return home with your living room to be filled with your favourite flowers. That is when he would get down on one knee.

You however had other plans. Three days before the amazing day Thor had planned, you two were cuddling in bed when you looked up at him, saw the love in his eyes and decided right then and there to say. “I think we should get married.” Thors eyes widened as he grinned, a sign that you two were on the same page. “Will you marry me, Thor?”

X = Xylophone. What’s their song?

Falling - Harry Styles. 

Not that Thor will admit to many people he actually really adores that song.

Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the thunder to my lightening.

Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?

Thor might want a cat but he really doesn’t care much. If you want one, go for it but he’ll never ask for one.

#thor #imagine thor #thor imagine #thor odinson #imagine thor odinson #imagine the avengers #the avengers #thor alphabet #thor fluff #thor fluffalphabet #bored-mumma #fan fiction #the avengers fan fiction #the avengers fluff #the avengers alphabet

[causeiwanttoandican]

The Times

Prince William’s close friends on what makes him tick — and why he’s not trapped

March 20 2021, 6:00pm

As the world devours the Harry and Meghan interview, what’s going on with the brother who was left behind? He’s embracing his destiny, William’s close friends tell the Sunday Times royal correspondent, Roya Nikkhah

Next month Prince William will celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary — the day he became a duke and embarked on the most formative decade of his life. Back then, the tentative 28-year-old newlywed was not ready to devote himself entirely to royal duties. A decade on, he is in a very different position.

The job of being the heir to the heir to the throne, of finding a balance between life and duty, is difficult at the best of times. These are not the best of times. In their bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey this month the Duke and Duchess of Sussex accused the royal family and the institution around it of racism and callous disregard for a suicidal newcomer, among many other damning charges. Harry the spare also declared that William was trapped within “the system … My brother can’t leave that system, but I have.”

In the immediate aftermath of the interview William was “reeling”, a source close to the duke says. “His head is all over the place on it.” Four days after the Sussexes had their say, he hit back during an engagement with the Duchess of Cambridge at a school in east London. Asked about accusations of racism, William retorted with restrained fury: “We’re very much not a racist family.” He also confirmed that he hadn’t spoken to Harry yet, “but will do”. By the weekend it emerged they had “been in contact”.

William is thought to have been less than thrilled a few days later when that conversation made global headlines after the American presenter Gayle King, a close friend of the Sussexes, revealed live on air that it had not been an easy chat: “I did actually call them to see how they were feeling,” she told viewers. “Harry has talked to his brother and he had talked to his father too. The word I was given was that those conversations were not productive.” The intervention prompted a senior royal source to say that “none of the households will be giving a running commentary on private conversations”.

A close friend of both brothers says Harry’s “trapped” comment was “way off the mark”, insisting that William does not see it that way. “He has a path set for him and he’s completely accepting of his role. He is very much his grandmother’s grandson in that respect of duty and service.”

When the Queen turned 90 nearly five years ago William admitted “the challenge” that “occupies a lot of thinking space” is how to “modernise and develop” the royal family, and make it “relevant in the next 20 years’ time”. Twenty years now seems like a very long time. In the hours and days after the Oprah broadcast, William was at the heart of all discussions with the Queen and the Prince of Wales about how to respond to the Sussexes. He was keen that the issue of race should be acknowledged in the Queen’s statement as an area of particular concern that “will be addressed”.

William has always railed against being a “ribbon-cutter royal” and the issues he champions — mental health, battling racism in football, homelessness and his ramped-up eco-warrior role — are a window into where the future King William V will take the House of Windsor. A friend says: “He’s a small-c conservative. He values tradition and the need to go around the country, but he realises he can make a difference beyond traditional royal duties.”

Today royal popularity is, to put it mildly, in a state of flux, but William’s strategy has been working. Post-Oprah, he ranks just below the Queen at the top of a YouGov poll of royals. Not so long ago such a position looked like a long shot, when the “workshy Wills” and “reluctant royal” tags plagued him and he was clocking up fewer days of royal work than his nonagenarian grandparents. Pictures of him hitting the ski slopes and clubs of Swiss resort Verbier in March 2017, missing a Commonwealth service that even the Duke of York flew back for, didn’t help.

After the lasting PR gold dust of the Cambridges’ 2011 wedding and the births of Prince George and Princess Charlotte, it was the first public nosedive for William, who was still working as an air ambulance pilot. “That pissed him off,” a friend says. “He was leaving home at 5.30am, getting home after dark and saving lives in between, but people were still being critical of his commitment to his [other] job.” William was based at Cambridge airport with East Anglian Air Ambulance for two years, where he was on call for “some very sad, dark moments”, often working “on very traumatic jobs involving children”. He later acknowledged that “after I had my own children … the relation between the job and the personal life was what really took me over the edge, and I started feeling things that I have never felt before”. But it was a job he loved, because of “working in a team … that’s something that my other job doesn’t necessarily do. You are more out there on your own.”

A former royal aide says: “Immediately after their wedding he had a very clear idea of the pace at which he wanted to take things.” William was adamant he wouldn’t curtail his day jobs, first as an RAF search and rescue helicopter pilot in Anglesey and then with the air ambulance. “If you’re not careful, duty can weigh you down an awful lot at an early age,” he said, insisting he didn’t “lie awake waiting or hoping” to be king. He delayed full-time royal duties until the autumn of 2017, when, acknowledging the Cambridges’ future required more time at “monarchy HQ”, they moved from Norfolk to London and George started school.

He’d had to fight his corner for the air ambulance role. A source close to William reveals “there were lots of raised eyebrows in the Palace when he wanted to do that. While the Queen and his father backed him, some senior courtiers questioned whether it was becoming of a future king to be doing a middle-class role, hanging out with ordinary people. They thought he wouldn’t stick it out, he’d find it boring, or was doing it out of stubbornness to put off royal duties. He was pretty bloody-minded about it, and determined that other people’s expectations in the media or the system shouldn’t get in the way of his own values.” In the wake of Harry and Meghan’s interview much has been speculated about the extent to which royal life is dictated by Palace officials, but it is clear that William has managed to forge his own path. Who knows how high those senior courtiers’ eyebrows rose in 2019, when William spent three weeks shadowing the spooks of MI5, MI6 and GCHQ to learn how they combat terrorism. He insisted on being called “Will” and lunching in the canteen every day.

Those closest to the duke say his resistance to the idea of full-time royal duties stemmed not only from a desire to achieve something for himself but also from a fear of the impact on his family life. Miguel Head worked alongside the prince for ten years until 2018, as William, Kate and Harry’s communications secretary and later as William’s private secretary. “In his role everyone’s going to tell you you’re marvellous,” Head says. “The RAF and air ambulance jobs were about knowing what his abilities were, what he was good at in his own right. Without that he’d still be hankering for something that was his own.” After children came along he says William developed a “visceral determination to give them a life of consistency and privacy that were missing for large parts of his own childhood”.

Another close aide says the plan enabling the Cambridges to have a few years of “normal” married life, away from the full-time glare of the royal spotlight, paid dividends: “For years, the battles around privacy and paparazzi intrusion were all-consuming. He wanted to know, could we build them a credible plan allowing them a family life while slowly increasing the profile of official life? It took years to get there, but the success of that plan allowed him to be confident and content in his role. He’s not worried about his kids’ privacy any more and he has been able to be the kind of dad he wants to be.”

“Marriage maketh the man,” a friend says. “Catherine’s groundedness has been the critical anchor. And where his relationship with the media was once all fury and frustration, he now understands using the power of modern media, so the public feel they’re getting enough access.”

The children’s birthdays are marked with photographs — often taken by the Duchess of Cambridge — and there has been a noticeable increase in their public appearances of late. While not “officially” staged, William was happy to let George and Charlotte be photographed at their first Aston Villa match with Mum and Dad in 2019. Pandemic set pieces have shown the family clapping for the NHS on the steps of Anmer Hall, their Norfolk home, and, before Christmas, their first red-carpet appearance together for an evening at the panto with key workers and their children.

As they celebrate their anniversary on April 29, friends who joined the Cambridges on their wedding day tell me the partnership’s equal footing is key to its success. “They’ve got a solid relationship and she gives him confidence,” one says. “There is no jealousy, no friction, they are happy for each other’s successes.” In private William talks as passionately about Kate’s work as his own campaigns, and takes pride in her growing confidence on the public stage.

William has said his grandmother’s approach to being head of state is to take “more of a passive role. She’s above politics and is very much away from it.” He doesn’t plan to meddle in party politics, but he was not happy about the unenviable position the government put the Queen in with the 2019 proroguing of parliament, which was later ruled to be unlawful and forced an apology from Boris Johnson to the monarch. Constitutionally the Queen had no alternative other than to act on the advice of her government, but in William’s reign there will be “more private, robust challenging of advice”. His last three private secretaries — Christian Jones, Simon Case, now the cabinet secretary, and Head — had all worked in government departments, helping William to keep his finger on the political pulse. The new incumbent, the Whitehall heavyweight Jean-Christophe Gray, who served as David Cameron’s spokesman, continues in that vein.

The former Conservative leader Lord Hague of Richmond was last year appointed as chairman of the Royal Foundation to develop William’s work on mental health, the environment and a raft of new support programmes for key workers. “People internationally and nationally respect his credibility and knowledge on these issues,” Hague says. “He’s very persuasive. You only see that behind the scenes. He knows what he wants and he goes out to get it.”

Charlie Mayhew, chief executive of the conservation charity Tusk, has known William since he was 20. In 2005 Tusk and Centrepoint, the homelessness charity championed by Princess Diana, were the first patronages William took on. “In those early years I kept having to pinch myself to remember how young he was,” Mayhew says. “He was much more mature than his age and very aware of his destiny coming down the track. He had a sincerity, but never without wicked humour. His teasing is merciless.”

William knows some people see his passion for conservation as a posh man’s part-time hobby, but Mayhew says the duke’s “genuine and huge knowledge” undermines that view. “He’ll call and WhatsApp to flag up something that I haven’t even seen in the conservation space. He can be impatient to get things done.” Last year William launched the Earthshot prize, a £50 million Nobel-style environmental award to galvanise solutions to global problems over the next decade. He believes “conservation and the environment … shouldn’t be a luxury, it’s a necessity”, Mayhew says. “That’s the drum he wants to beat. He’s got a megaphone and wants to use it in the most constructive way. He speaks for that next generation and I think they can relate to it.”

A turning point for William was his 2015 official visit to China, one of the world’s largest consumers of ivory, where he met President Xi and condemned the illegal wildlife trade as a “vicious form of criminality”. Unlike his father, who has refused to visit the People’s Republic over its human rights record and treatment of Tibet, William’s view was that despite the UK’s fractious relationship with China, “we’ve got to engage”.

“It was very political, raising the illegal wildlife trade in China. I’m sure the diplomats were having all sort of nightmares in advance,” says Mayhew, who joined the duke in China. “But he was gathering greater confidence that he had the ability to be a mouthpiece for the issue.” Mayhew reveals that while William was visiting Japan before China, he still hadn’t secured a meeting with Xi. “But when the Chinese saw all the high-level meetings he was having in Japan, they changed their minds and Xi made time for him.” Later that year, as Xi began a UK state visit, William appeared on Chinese television condemning the ivory trade. Two years later China banned the trade.

In 2018 he spent months prepping for his most high-stakes overseas visit yet, to Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories that summer. Navigating the diplomatic tightrope walk between Jerusalem and the West Bank, he visited a Palestinian refugee camp in Ramallah. As he travelled back to Jerusalem, he changed his speech for a reception with young Israelis and Palestinians to strengthen his solidarity with the latter: “My message tonight is that you have not been forgotten … The United Kingdom stands with you.” It was a bold move, but both sides hailed his visit a success and the officials breathed a sigh of relief. To the delight of the travelling press pack, William’s engagements on the final day were brought forward, allowing the diplomat duke and president of the Football Association to land back in the UK in time to watch England’s World Cup tie.

Ask him if he’s a peacemaker and William will laugh, saying Kate is the mediator. But according to a source close to William and Harry, his bridge-building skills were deployed in the lead-up to Harry and Meghan’s wedding in 2018, when tensions in the Kensington Palace household, then still shared by the brothers, were running high: “Every time there was a drama, or a member of staff on the verge of quitting, William would personally try and sort it out.”

As the brothers clashed more over the substance and style of their work, and the family hierarchy that William is a stickler for but Harry is less keen on, a split was inevitable. When they finally divided their households in March 2019, it had been a long time coming. But he never thought that a year later his brother would up sticks for America.

The pair went for a long walk to clear the air after the “Sandringham summit” when the Megxit deal was hammered out, but did not part shores as friends. What upset William the most was Harry and Meghan’s surprise launch of their “Sussex Royal” website before the summit, which featured their blueprint wish list of a part-time, commercial royal future. Later, when the Queen decreed they could no longer use “royal” in their future ventures, their website hit back with this bold statement: “While there is not any jurisdiction by The Monarchy … over the use of the word ‘Royal’ overseas, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex do not intend to use ‘Sussex Royal’ … or … ‘Royal’ …” Both “the content and that it’s still online is staggering”, a senior royal source says. “That was it for William, he felt they’d blindsided the Queen in such an insulting and disrespectful way,” says a source close to him, who reveals it was still at the forefront of William’s mind at the Commonwealth Day service one year ago. It was the Sussexes’ final engagement as working royals, and the froideur between them and the rest of the family was unmistakable.

It is a year since the Sussexes left for California and William misses Harry. “Once he got over the anger of how things happened, he was left with the absence of his brother,” an aide says. “They shared everything about their lives, an office, a foundation, meetings together most days and there was a lot of fun along the way. He’ll miss it for ever.” A close friend says William “definitely feels the pressure now it’s all on him — his future looks different because of his brother’s choices, it’s not easy.” Another friend says: “It’s still raw. He’s very upset by what’s happened, though absolutely intent that he and Harry’s relationship will heal in time.”

After lobbing bombs in his Oprah interview, Harry said: “I love William to bits … We’ve been through hell together … we have a shared experience … The relationship is space at the moment, and time heals all things, hopefully.” Harry would be wise not to set his stopwatch.

The first test will come this summer, when the brothers could be reunited for a series of family engagements including the Duke of Edinburgh’s 100th birthday and the Queen’s birthday parade in June. In July they are scheduled to unveil a statue of their mother at Kensington Palace, marking what would have been Diana’s 60th birthday, an emotionally charged occasion with the world watching.

While a chasm has opened up between the brothers, William has grown closer to the Queen and Prince Charles. He has helped them to navigate their way through Megxit, Prince Andrew’s removal from public life following the Jeffrey Epstein scandal and, now, the Oprah controversy. “That has changed the way the Queen sees him and values his input,” a courtier says. William also feels his relationship with his grandmother has “massively improved” in recent years and their views are “more aligned than ever”.

Friends say there has also been a “renaissance” in William and Charles’s relationship. “As the years passed there were strains imposed by the system — money, work, competition, Diana,” one says. “Part of William’s evolution is that as he has become closer to his father, he sees their similarities. At William’s wedding there was a gag in one of the speeches that he was more like his father than he’d ever admit, which made a lot of us laugh. As their respective destinies get closer, it weighs more heavily on them and strengthens the bond. The rift with Harry has also brought them closer.”

William is said to hate “flummery”, though the role of future king comes with plenty of bowing and scraping. But in 2017, for the first time publicly, he didn’t get his way. As a new parent worried about rising teenage suicide rates, he had spent a year convening a Cyberbullying Taskforce with big cheeses from tech and social media giants including Facebook, Snapchat, Apple, Google and Twitter. He wanted them to adopt industry-wide guidelines creating safer online spaces for children. According to William the meetings at Kensington Palace got “fruity” and the tech giants didn’t come close to the change he wanted. He was furious.

Tessy Ojo, chief executive of the Diana Award youth charity, sat on the taskforce. “He was deeply disappointed,” she says. “He didn’t come into it as ‘the duke’, he gave emotional pleas as a father.” William has since publicly condemned social media giants for their “false choice of profits over values” and privately offered support to the family of Molly Russell, who took her life at 14 after viewing images of self-harm online. Ojo believes it is William’s “lived experience of the fragility of life that guides the work he does”.

It also shapes the way he and Kate are raising their family. William has said he is determined that the grandchildren Diana never knew should “know who she was and that she existed”. He “constantly” talks to his children “about Granny Diana” at bedtime, so that they know “there are two grandmothers in their lives”. Earlier this month on Mother’s Day, Kensington Palace’s social media feeds published George, Charlotte and Louis’s cards paying tribute to “Granny Diana”, revealing it is an annual ritual for the Cambridge children. After a difficult few weeks for William, a line in Charlotte’s card provided poignant insight into how he is feeling: “Papa is missing you.”

He is on course to be a more modern monarch than any before him, but William is still a creature of habit at heart. He has the same tight circle of friends from his schooldays, one of whom says that, with William, “it’s all about trust and loyalty”. He plays five-a-side football in his Villa socks when he can, goes to the Chelsea Harbour Club gym he went to as a child with his mother and has a “smart casual” public uniform of chinos, jacket, blue shirt and no tie.

“William’s not trying to be down with the kids,” a friend says. “He never wants to be painted as irrelevant or dull, though he’s allergic to being compared to celebrities. The public doesn’t always get to see his funny side, but otherwise he’s the same in private as in public. He once said, ‘I’ll be in the public eye all my life. I can’t hide who I am because I’ll be found out.’ ”

In 2019, during a visit to a youth homelessness charity supporting LGBT people, William was asked how he would feel if one of his children was gay. “Absolutely fine,” he replied. “I fully support whatever decision they make, but it does worry me from a parent’s point of view how many barriers, hateful words, persecution and discrimination might come.” Such a personal exchange was a radical departure from royal engagement small talk. But William, the first in his family to be photographed for the cover of a gay magazine, had personally put the issue on the agenda.

As president of Bafta he gave the academy a diplomatic dressing down in his speech at last year’s ceremony, expressing his “frustration” over the lack of diversity: “In 2020, and not for the first time in the last few years, we find ourselves talking again about the need to do more to ensure diversity in the sector and in the awards process — that simply cannot be right in this day and age.” The 2021 nominees announced this month suggest his words hit home.

William “thinks the public look to him to keep royal work looking modern”, a confidante says. “The Queen and Prince of Wales are providing continuity and stability. He’s carving out his own relationship with diverse communities. He sees it all as a way of doing things now that will help a smooth transition when the time comes.”

Since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, as a former frontline worker himself, William has led the royal charge supporting key workers. “Now, more than ever, he knows what his role in public life is, and he sees the value in it,” a close aide says. Chatting to NHS workers in January, William said: “Something that I noticed from my brief spell flying the air ambulance … is that when you see so much death and so much bereavement, it does impact how you see the world … as a … darker, blacker place.” Soon after the first lockdown was announced, the Cambridges’ Royal Foundation launched Our Frontline, a round-the-clock mental health and bereavement service for key workers.

Miguel Head says the future King William will continue to campaign on his big issues: “I can’t see him backing away from causes he’s passionate about. And while he’s not someone who loves ceremony, he knows the importance of it. When he gets the top job he won’t do away with it all. He’s mindful the monarchy represents something timeless that’s above all of us, and many people like the magic and theatre of it.”

Roya Nikkhah

Roya is royal correspondent at The Sunday Times. Over more than a decade she has covered royal events for the BBC, interviewed the Prince of Wales and Prince Harry and presented the films Prince William, Monarch in the Making and Meghan and Harry: The Baby Years.

#William #TeamQueen #TeamWilliam #TeamCambridge

[speutschlish]

Promising Young Woman (tw: abuse, assault, r*pe, trauma)

Two days ago I saw Promising Young Woman at a drive-in theater, and it was the most cathartic film experience I’ve ever had. I was bawling, ecstatic, and deeply triggered all at the same time. It was beautiful. I couldn’t even stand up afterwards because I became nauseous and light-headed. In therapy I’ve been learning how to reconnect my body sensations to how I’m feeling. Watching this obra maestra made me feel all the feelings, and I had such a powerful physical reaction in response to that - it was a good learning experience in that way as well.

That paragraph may sound too contradictory to make sense, but it makes perfect sense to me, and if you want to read more (with spoilers), you can expand this post.

If you don’t want to read spoilers, then let me just say that as someone with C-PTSD caused by childhood abuse (sexual, emotional, psychological), r*pe and sexual assault who is finally in a safe enough place to look back and face it all in the hopes of healing, this movie SAW me, and that means A LOT.

PYW is a realist film. There is an unreliable narrator in Cassie (though there is no narration that happens, just that Cassie’s is the only vantagepoint through which the plot progresses). She is perfectly imperfect. She is drowning in her trauma, and as I’ve learned through uncovering and attempting to heal my own trauma, I know intimately how the trauma brain distorts your actions and reactions and feelings, so is Cassie doing “the right thing™”? No. But she’s doing the only thing her trauma brain can tell her to do - keep Nina close, keep Nina alive, don’t give up, don’t let them win, don’t move on because Nina can’t, so why should you?

The thing is, this movie shows that the only one who ISN’T crazy is Cassie. 

Cassie is the only one who cares as much as someone should care that a woman was drugged, raped, mocked, discarded, demeaned, dehumanized into suicide.

Let’s look at everyone else’s response:

Nina’s mom: obviously traumatized, grieving, but has compartmentalized and wants (needs) to “move on”

Cassie’s dad: expresses sympathy, is one of the few characters who mentions Nina without Cassie’s prompting, but ultimately takes no real “action” to help Cassie, and most likely did not take action to help Nina (sympathy without support)

Cassie’s mom: desperate for Cassie to “move on” so that her family life can seem perfect again

Madison (ex-friend of Nina and Cassie): victim blames, repeatedly calls the r*pe of Nina “gossip” and admits she laughed at the video

Ryan (Cassie’s snuffed out love flame): after seeing video evidence that he witnessed the r*pe of Nina, he says he did nothing wrong and proceeds to attend the wedding of the r*pist like it was all normal

Cassie has long ago tired herself out screaming “LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED! THIS IS AN INHUMAN ACT! THIS IS A CRIME! NINA IS SUFFERING! WHY AREN’T YOU DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?” And at the point of the movie, years later, Cassie lives in the theater of the absurd, where no one wants to remember Nina or take any action on her behalf. Was the path that Cassie took the best path? The healthy path? No. But it’s not a stretch to understand why she thought it was the only one she could go down and still live with herself.

It hit me when someone called Cassie crazy, and she says, “No, I really don’t think I am.”

It hit me when Ryan tells her “Can we think about this for a second?”, and she says “You have NO idea how much I’ve thought about this.”

It hit me when she wrote “In the event of my disappearance...”

It’s so clear to me - Cassie didn’t want to die. Cassie didn’t even really want “revenge”, per se. She wanted the world to make sense. She wanted the gravity of Al Monroe et al’s crimes to be recognized and treated as the horrendous, inhuman, vile acts that they were.

The movie is real - Cassie can’t have that. She can’t have that because there are r*pists sitting on the highest courts of the land. There are Presidents who support, applaud, and participate in r*pe. There are terrorists who blow up bombs in public, but not before torturing and abusing those closest to him at home and the authorities do nothing after he is reported. There is a man living his normal life out there after r*ping my mother, molesting and r*ping me as a child, and turning the other way after his son r*ped my sister.

If someone is so monstrous that they can drug and r*pe a woman - they have already shown that they have no regard for the personhood of girls and women. They will not hesitate to wretch her personhood away from her, do as he likes with it, and choke the last bit of life-sustaining air from it. It is no surprise that Al Monroe is capable of murder, and it’s no surprise that his friend laughs when he finds out she’s dead.

Lately I’ve been feeling some regrets - why didn’t I fight more? Why didn’t I scream at him, find a weapon, run away, something, something to show him how deeply wrong he was to do those things to a girl, to a woman?

This movie was a peek at an alternate path that I could have taken. It showed me a part of my life unlived, a part of my life that I could have had in another universe. It didn’t look away. It gave viewers the thing that Cassie was searching for - the recognition that (Nina / I / all victims) matter and that what happened to (Nina / me / all victims) matters. It has weight. It takes up space. The evil of what happened to (Nina / me / all victims) dripped and oozed and infected everyone that it touched. Cassie wasn’t wrong to recognize that, and if we all did, the world would be a better place.

#promising young woman

[tennessoui]

omgggg yes number 45 gimme some number 45 obikin PLEASE

ok,,,,,,this is no. 1 Soulmates + no.45 in love with best friend's partner but it kinda got away from me so it's almost 2k and also like there's world-building im awful at snippets. This is obikin but also mentions of qui-gon/anakin BUT it's a fake relationship. it's not in the story, but the premise obi-wan doesn't know is that anakin needed coruscanti citizenship to get their healthcare for his mom, and qui-gon decides to help him out by marrying him to give him automatic citizenship i uh might continue this if people like it because it was fun to write whoops

“We met at the spaceport three days ago,” Anakin says with a demure little smile, curling further into Qui-Gon’s outstretched arm. The soft lamplight glints off the golden band Anakin’s wearing on his finger. Obi-Wan has had a hard time looking anywhere else since arriving in his old master’s quarters, has had a hard time thinking of anything else except that he’d always imagined Anakin wearing a more bronzed shade of gold.

It had been a shock to hear that while Obi-Wan had been out on a mission, Qui-Gon had returned to Coruscant with a husband in tow. Yes, alright, short courtships aren’t rare anywhere in the galaxy, especially between soulmates.

But Obi-Wan knows intimately well--better than anyone else in this room--that Anakin and Qui-Gon aren’t, in fact, soulmates.

Mace seems to be thinking the same thing because he states, with a slight question in his voice, “I was under the impression that your soulmate had passed into the Force, Qui-Gon.”

“We’re not soulmates,” Qui-Gon corrects placidly, arm moving away from Anakin’s shoulders--Obi-Wan can breathe again--so he can fiddle with the cuff around his wrist, which hides the faded name of his mate. “But now that the Jedi Order has lifted its marriage ban for non-Soulmate couples, I thought, why spend the rest of my life alone?”

Anakin catches Qui-Gon’s hand and places a kiss on the back of his fingers. Obi-Wan is going to scream.

When Anakin looks up to the assembled Jedi watching, he doesn’t look at Obi-Wan once. It’s the worst thing in the galaxy, the fact that other than very briefly an hour ago, Anakin hasn’t looked at him at all. It’s been five years. “And I’ve met my soulmate, but they…decided they didn’t want to stay with me, that they didn’t want me.”

Obi-Wan inhales sharply at this and forgets to bite his tongue. “Maybe your soulmate had other obligations that they had to fulfill,” Obi-Wan bites out.

He’d thought Anakin ignoring him had been awful, but that’s nothing compared to the pain of having him look at him with eyes as cold as Hoth. “I think I’d know more about my soulmate than you would, master Jedi. Ah, I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

Obi-Wan almost tells him to check his wrist if he needs a reminder about Obi-Wan’s name, but the words get stuck in his throat.

It’s probably for the best.

Obi-Wan’s spent five years and the duration of a war hiding the name of his soulmate from the Jedi Order, and he can’t say it now. His other half has made it quite clear that he can’t say it now.

“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan says, standing suddenly. He knows he should stay, should sit through the rest of the intake interview the Council gives to all non-Jedi sentients that marry a Jedi, soulmates or no, but he can’t. He’s the youngest person to sit on the Council in written history, he’s survived a war, trained the stubbornest Padawan of her generation, and this--this--looking across the table at Anakin Skywalker, dolled up and petty and full of hatred for him as he wears another man’s ring, Obi-Wan’s former master’s ring--this is going to be the thing that kills him.

Luckily, no one tries to stop him as he leaves. Maybe they think he’s just reacting to the fact that his fifty-eight year old master came home with a twenty-five year old husband. Maybe everything he’s feeling is written out on his face. Maybe he should never have tried to hide Anakin away. Maybe he should have called for extraction from his deep cover mission as soon as their hands had touched and their soulmarks had appeared. Maybe these past seven years should never have happened.

Force knows Obi-Wan would sleep easier if he had never walked into that Tatooine bar. If he had never met Anakin Skywalker.

He tries to meditate in his favorite spot in the Room of A Thousand Fountains, but it’s an impossible task. Mostly, he sits in a classic lotus position and broods.

A few hours later, when Obi-Wan thinks he’s recovered some of his composure, the person who’s always been able to ruin it sits himself down in front of him with a lot of unnecessary noise.

“When you talked about this place, I thought it sounded like the biggest waste of water in the entire galaxy,” Anakin’s voice sounds...normal. Like they’re picking up the thread of a conversation they had just dropped a moment ago, as if five years and a wedding and a war don’t stretch between them.

But if Anakin wants to talk to Obi-Wan like they had before, he’ll try his hardest to meet him there. Slowly, he opens his eyes. Anakin’s lounging back, still wearing the ceremonial robes of a Jedi’s bride, the loose blue silk barely hanging onto one of his shoulders. Obi-Wan wants to close his eyes again, immediately. “The greenery wouldn’t be able to survive without the water.”

Anakin nods, looking around as if slightly disinterested by it all. When he’d been eighteen, he’d soaked up every story Obi-Wan could tell him about the Temple, about the Jedi. Those piercing blue eyes find him again. It’s as if he knows Obi-Wan’s thoughts, because he smiles in the most humorless way. “I used to think I’d live here, and then I could see for myself if the beauty was worth the excess.”

“And?” Obi-Wan asks. It’s all he can get out of his throat. It’s very clear what Anakin isn’t saying. That he used to think he’d live here with Obi-Wan. That they'd be--that they'd be.

“Now I understand that there’s no winning that argument. What one man sees as a waste, another might see as a treasure.”

Obi-Wan can’t do this. He thought--maybe he could--but. He can’t. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, moving to stand on his feet. “I hate to leave, but I must attend to--”

Anakin scrambles to his feet and latches onto Obi-Wan’s covered wrist. “Do you?” he asks intently, his hold tightening. “Did you?”

“This--this is most inappropriate, Chosen Skywalker, please remove yourself from my person.”

Anakin, blast him, moves even closer. Obi-Wan wonders if he can hear his heartbeat from that far away or if it’s just in Obi-Wan’s ears. “You have to tell me,” he demands. He’s always demanded things from Obi-Wan. Stories, and kisses, and comfort, and promises. Obi-Wan had given him everything he’d asked for, up until the very end.

Unsurprisingly, nothing has changed.

“Tell you what,” Obi-Wan snaps, yanking his wrist away from Anakin’s touch. Even through the covering, his skin feels burned. “Tell you that I hated having to leave you? Tell you that I’ve thought about you every night since then? Tell you that there was a war, that I had to fight, that I didn’t choose to go? That I had a duty to the galaxy, to the Jedi, to my family?”

“You had a duty to me!” Anakin snarls back, squaring his shoulders and shoving forward into Obi-Wan’s space. “I was your soulmate and you left me and I waited and you never once called me, never once tried to visit! And then the war ended and you never came back!” His voice breaks and the flood of words Obi-Wan desperately does not want to hear breaks with it for just a second. “Why didn’t you come back? I don’t...I don’t care that you had to fight. I knew I couldn’t leave with you, not until I had freed my mom. But you just. You left.”

“I’m not the same man I was, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says softly. His voice shakes and he has to turn his head away from his soulmate’s watery blue eyes. “The war--it changed me. It hurt, to fight and kill and strategize on how to more effectively fight and kill the next day. Four years of that, and I knew at the end I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s soulmate, least of all yours.”

When Obi-Wan had first met him, Anakin had been laughing. His head had been tipped back, curls falling over his shoulders. The noise had been loud and honest. He’d been radiant in the Force. It had taken weeks for Obi-Wan to really believe something so bright could be the other half of his soul.

“I wanted to,” Obi-Wan whispers. “Every night I wanted to, and it only got harder after the war ended. I never stopped wanting to. Wanting you.”

“How am I supposed to believe you?” Anakin asks. Obi-Wan wants to ask him why it matters if he believes him or not, but Anakin’s words from earlier float back to him. They decided they didn’t want to stay with me, that they didn’t want me. He can’t let Anakin continue to think Obi-Wan didn’t want him, not when he wanted him so badly he ached from it.

With shaking fingers, he moves to pull down the collar of his robes, just far enough that he can pull out the japor snippet he’s worn around his neck since the day Anakin gave it to him. He slowly lifts it over his head and presents it to his soulmate. Anakin’s eyes are wide with wonder as he stares down at the necklace, worm almost smooth by how often Obi-Wan had rubbed the carving with his thumb. “Always, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmurs, reaching out to grab Anakin’s hand and dropping the wood carving into his palm. He carefully folds the man’s lax fingers around the necklace.

Hating himself for doing it, but needing to do it anyway, he brushes his lips over his fingers in a ghost of a kiss. Beneath his mouth, the wedding band feels warm from Anakin’s body heat. It’s a shockingly cold reminder.

“May the Force bless you and your Chosen, and reunite you at every end of your every day,” Obi-Wan whispers the Council’s official blessings for newly-wed couples into Anakin’s skin.This is the last time he’s ever going to touch him. He doesn’t want to let go.

He must. He does.

#qui-gon definitely knew anakin was obi-wans soulmate when they started talking #he was like my dumb former padawan will not let himself be happy #so im going to wingman the shit out of him #by marrying his soulmate so they have to see each other again #and hopefully even talk about everything! #this cannot possibly go wrong #(it did) #but obi-wan and anakin end up together because qui-gon and anakin have their marriage annulled to the relief of everyone #asks #obikin #my fics #if all these prompts are going to be 1500 + words I do not know how fast i will finish them #but im trying #it's doing wonders for my writers block #prompt fill

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 fin

Inukag Royalty Au

A month had gone by since the Naraku incident and for the two royal families, life had seemingly returned to normal. Princess Rin found in Prince Souta a new friend closer to her age, Miroku had started following Sango around— much to her chagrin, and the Queens were already teasing their kids over future grandchildren. The formal wedding celebration had begun with guests from all their ally territories in attendance. It was truly a large and joyous occasion. The Higurashi’s ballroom was filled with the finest food and drink, beautiful decor, and music to entertain the masses. Both kingdoms were ready to put all the misunderstandings aside, ready for a bright new future. But not everyone was in a celebratory mood.

The party was already in mid-swing with Prince Inuyasha and Princess Kagome mingling with the guests and giving off on an air of contentment. Plastered smiled and staged conversations. But once the revelers seemed fully preoccupied by drink and merriment, Inuyasha pulled Kagome to the side.

“I could use some fresh air,” he suggested quietly.

“Mmhmm,” she agreed with a nod.

Inuyasha took Kagome by entwined fingers and led her out to a side garden where they would have some privacy. No one noticed them take their leave, save for their ever-dutiful attendants who simply nodded their approval. Don’t get him wrong, Inuyasha wasn’t having second doubts about marrying Kagome. He loved her, there was no question about it. But that didn’t mean there weren’t a few things still left unanswered. He could sense in her that she felt the same way, so with the start of their new lives truly about to begin, it was time to get things straightened out.

“Is this, okay?” Inuyasha questioned once they reached a small gazebo. “The night air isn’t too cold, is it?”

“No, it’s alright.” Kagome sat down with Inuyasha following her lead. “I suppose this was inevitable.”

The last couple of months had been such a whirlwind. From her identity being found out, to Naraku, the threat on the kingdom, the wedding— she and Inuyasha didn’t have any time to talk. Or rather, Kagome had also been nervous to do so.

“I think so too.” Inuyasha took her hands. “Please do not think I brought you out here because I am unhappy with you or that this marriage was simply to save you from Naraku.” He brought her hands to his chest and held them tightly. “I married you because I love you. But I just wanted to make certain there isn’t anything else you’d kept from me. All those months you were with us under false pretenses, I wish to know what was fact, and what was fiction?”

Kagome dropped her gaze to the ground. “I’m sure it’s obvious that all the stories about my family were fiction since they are very much alive. But there were truths woven in. In her youth, my mother’s parents really did not provide her a tutor because they didn’t believe a noble woman needed anything more than how to satisfy and cater to a husband. So, she took it upon herself to listen in during her brother’s lessons, then steal away to their library to educate herself further. With me, she made sure I got as much education as they could provide. Sango taught me a lot about how to protect myself and to use a bow. My parents weren’t thrilled about it but didn’t stop us either.” She looked back up at Inuyasha. “And Tanaka was the name of an old attendant of mine. As for what else is true, falling in love. I tried so hard to resist you because I didn’t want either of us to get hurt.” Kagome looked down again. “I should have thought things out more clearly before I ran… it caused so many problems for everyone. Yet even so, I feel guilty because it had led me to you and the happiest time of my life. You, Rin, your family, I love you all so much for what you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t know where to begin in repaying such a debt.”

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“Who you saw in me, my personality, and behaviors, that was all still me. I didn’t change that part— don’t think I could have lied to that degree and made it believable.”

Inuyasha tipped Kagome’s chin back up. “I believe you; I can sense that much in you.” He smiled before leaning in with a soft kiss. “Now, is there anything you’d like to ask me?”

“No,” she shook her head and smiled. “I feel you’ve always shown me the real you.”

He kissed her again, deeper, letting it linger as he kept their foreheads touching. “There is no debt to be repaid my love. For you’ve already given me what I’ve been searching for my whole life.”

“What… do you mean?”

“Acceptance— true acceptance.”

“I-I don’t understand…”

Inuyasha pulled back but kept his palm cradling Kagome’s cheek. “All my life I’ve felt split between two worlds because I’m a hanyo. Yokai and human alike would sometimes look at me differently. Of course, they wouldn’t dare say anything to my face, but I could feel the awkwardness. That’s why I was very angry for a long time. Rin forced me to lighten up, but I still felt inside like I’d never be truly accepted and yet you loved me despite my nature. Now, I don’t care if anyone else judges me differently, as long as I have you by my side.”

Kagome’s eyes crinkled at the corners as a few happy tears pooled in them. “Oh, Inu, I’m just as lucky to have you too.” She chuckled and smiled. “My mother worried no one would want a woman who’s feisty.”

He laughed, “that’s exactly what drew me to you.”

She leaned her head onto his shoulder with a contented sigh. “Fate was never something I really believed in before, but it’s hard not to think there is truth on such tales.”

“It is quite ironic how things worked out in the end, but I’m really happy they did.”

“Me too.”

This was a future neither had allowed themselves to believe possible. For Kagome, the fairytales of finding a Prince Charming were once a dream now come true, and Inuyasha the weight of lonely years melted away. They sat there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying the night air and absorbing this whole new life about to begin. What will it be like? Will they always be happy now? Have all their worries ended? As a second son, they won’t have the stress of ruling to deal with, so that just left creating a normal family life— well, as normal of a life a royal could design. Children… how many should they have? These are the kinds of questions the couple will need to ponder at some point.

Speaking of children, Kagome flushed at the idea. While they have had a few intimate moments, mostly kissing and a little bit of touching, but the couple had not gone all the way yet and frankly Kagome was a little nervous about it.

“Inu?” Her voice was soft, hesitant in breaking the silence. She wasn’t sure how she’ll take his answer, but Kagome wanted to know.

“Yeah?”

“Have you, been with anyone before… like, i-in bed?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“I’ve heard stories about how princes can be loose like that…”

“Well, not me. I won’t lie and say I’d never been tempted, but most of the women I’ve been around never interested me much. Nobles are usually so… boring or just looking to increase their status and I wasn’t about that.”

“Are you nervous about it?”

“A little.”

“Me too.”

Inuyasha turned to face Kagome. “I won’t force you, if you’re not ready.” He lifted her chin. “I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Kagome blushed harder. “It’s not… that… I want to… with you.”

“Oh,” his brow raised with a chuckle. “Have you been fantasizing about me?”

“Maybe… Have you?”

“Oh— yeah.” He grinned. “How could I not? Every time I’d see your beautiful face, and this,” his hands moved down to her waist, “body, just dreaming of learning every inch of it. Plus, have you any idea how much your scent drives me wild?” She shook her head no. Inuyasha leaned down, his lips so close to her neck, his breath sent chills down her body. “Well, it does, and now you know,” he answered in a husky tone.

“Oh… Inu…” Kagome breathed out when his lips grazed her skin. Her hands clutched to his vest, pulling, begging he stay right where he was as her head tilted to give a great span of access.

Inuyasha chuckled, whispering a tease. “Princess we’re too out in the open to be getting so hot and heavy. Or is this a naughtier side you’ve been hiding from me?”

“S-Sorry,” Kagome blushed. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“No need to apologize love.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m excited too.”

Now that the air had been cleared, the couple decided to go back to the party before someone came looking for them. It was winding down already, and guests were starting to leave. They assisted their parents in giving their thanks and wishing safe journeys to those traveling a distance. Then once they were assured, they were no longer required to stay, Inuyasha and Kagome retreated to their private room.

“Need any pointers?” Miroku whispered to the prince as he escorted them through the castle.

“Pfft, not from you,” Inuyasha sneered back.

Miroku chuckled as they reached the room. “Have fun you two,” he winked before walking away.

“Damn pervert.”

“Leave him be,” Kagome giggled as she pulled Inuyasha into the room and locked the door. “He means well. Will you help me with this dress?”

“I know…” Inuyasha sighed. “And of course. What do you need me to do?”

Kagome’s face heated up, but she stayed with her convictions. I’m a firm, yet tentative tone. “Take it off me.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened as a grin formed. “With pleasure…”

Their time at the Higurashi castle had come to an end, and the Inu royals said their goodbyes. Kagome’s parents were sad to see her go but were happy with the outcome knowing their son-in-law will take good care of their daughter. Promises were made to visit as often as possible, and they looked forward to the grandchildren yet to come. Sango would stay on and become a member of the Inu kingdom for Kagome, much to the delight of Miroku. The Princess had teased her friend about the budding infatuation, but Sango still refused to admit there was something brewing. That left more addition to the entourage, Sango’s younger brother since he became her ward after the death of their parents. Princess Rin was delighted by the decision because now she’ll have a friend to play with at the palace. Even her father Sesshomaru had taken a surprising interest in the boy’s prospects as a future soldier.

The newlyweds were given their own comfortable carriage to travel in. Which was great because it gave them privacy during the four-day trip. Inuyasha pulled Kagome close and kissed her forehead. “Ready to start our new future Princess?”

“Mmm,” she smiled. “I can’t wait.”

~~~~~

Sorry this final chapter is a bit lackluster, but the last couple of weeks I kinda lost motivation to write. I hope it was still at least okay, and thank you to everyone who's been following along :)

#inukag #inuyasha #inukag fan fic #kagome higurashi #inukag au #royalty au #inukag fan fiction #ch 9 ending #the irony of fate

[haifengg]

A = Affection (How do they show their affection?)  Ten would tease a lot. A lot. Also he would take a bunch of pictures of his s/o every time they go out or on dates.

B = Bad Day (What could ruin their mood? How are they when they don’t feel overall positive?)  Ten having a stressful day at work is literally every other day in his life. But the days he comes home or shows up for dates in the most terrible mood are the days something was off during dance practice. And doesn’t really has to be his fault to begin with. Just training sessions that felt odd or maybe the group didn’t work as well together.   On those days he just wants to go home. If he was supposed to meet his s/o on a date he would still show up but ask them if he could take a rain check. Ten would not postpone by text or anything but he would ask to reschedule.

C = Crush(What’s he like when he’s simpin’? Why do I use words like simpin’?) “Teasing is a sign of affection.”  He really isn’t hiding it in any way. If his s/o doesn’t see it they are truly blind. Someone please tell them.

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)  His dream would probably be something rather grown up, like being able to spend time with his s/o and on projects he loves doing equally. Maybe even his s/o participating. If he can’t make that happen he would pay a lot of attention and put in a lot of effort for his s/o not feeling neglected in any way because he loves his work but he loves his s/o as well.

E = Experience (How experienced are they in terms of relationships?)  I always kind of assumed that he might not be the most experienced person when it comes to relationships but I can reassure that would be able to adapt to quickly. He is a very easygoing character and following the case his s/o is as well - it’s really a no-brainer.

F = Fights (What is it like to fight with them?)  Ten strikes me as a stoic but peace loving person. What that means is that he would rarely fight. He would try to avoid confrontations because he knows he is not good at it and tends to say hurtful things to get his point across. Even if he doesn’t mean them. He would always go and a apologise immediately after but things have been said.   If there is a disagreement he and his s/o would probably end up googling whatever the fight was about to check who is right.  If he was wrong, he will admit it bitterly and move past that topic or avoid it in the future. G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o?)  Lots and loads of self-made crafted gifts. Art. Sneakers he scribbled on. Self-made jewellery. A collage phone case with the theatre tickets of the movies you went together or the first concert ticket he gave his s/o so they could see him perform. (With loads of memories of that very secretive high-touch event)

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)  I don’t think he is a big hugger? But that might only be my opinion.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)  Ten’s problem might be that he is way too confident. To the point where he suggests a couple of things without thinking about what his s/o might feel about it, because he doesn’t see how anyone could have a problem with it. Though once he noticed that he didn’t take their thoughts into consideration he would retreat quickly and apologise, asking for their opinion.  This would only happen very rarely. Ten still is a very supportive and caring person.

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)  Oh boy does he get jealous. And he will let them know. It will turn into that sort of situation or maybe even a fight, where he wants his s/o to apologise to him but his s/o says they don’t have to apologise for having other friends besides him. K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What’s their kind of kiss?)  If he is a good kisser ... I am not able to tell. But in my opinion his favorite type of kiss would be a playful interruption when he has his s/o in his arms and they are telling him a story and he randomly interrupts them. All the time.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)  In the beginning Ten said it very seldomly and even as the relationship deepens and they grow fonder of each other he will find different ways of letting them know. Maybe there is this one Sticker he always send which eventually has the same meaning and weight as those three words. Just way more intimate and private since it has this lovely definition only for those lovebirds.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)  In my opinion Ten doesn’t really has an urge to get married. If his s/o wants to he’s cool with it and as far as a ceremony goes I think he would prefer something unconventional and simple. Like a ceremony at a temple(?) or a field wedding maybe?

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) Random dates.  Nights out with Ten could end up in a dreadful hangover the next morning or hours of stargazing. One never knows what they got themselves into.

O = Out of the ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)  He rarely fights. Disagree? Yes. Agree to disagree? Mostly. But rarely fight. P = Place (Where he first met them.)  At a gallery. They were looking at the same installation and at one point his s/o said something to themselves which randomly cracked him up. Just by then they noticed Ten and got into a conversation with him, that would last for the next 4 hours. Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)  Doesn’t ask opinions. Kind of this If-you-don’t-like-it-don’t-buy-it Kind of person. the choices he males for himself are the ones has to deal with and if his s/o isn’t cool with it - they might not be the right match for him.  Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying he doesn’t care at all. He just thinks that his s/o should love them the way he is. Regardless of what tattoo he is getting or what horrible shorts he’s wearing.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)  Ten strikes me as a very spontaneous person. Even if it’s his s/o’s Plan he will go with them and do what they’re up to. If this spontaneous idea should suddenly get canceled maybe due to weather or national holidays the two of them forgot about Ten will quickly find something else to do. S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)  He Will. Steal. Blankets. T = Turn-Ons (What attracts him to people !NOT SEXUAL!)  The spark between him and his s/o. Understanding each other non verbally and maybe even laughing in sync. Watching a show and reacting the same way? He’s all in.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)  His shameless honesty. V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)  If Ten can’t be vulnerable around their s/o they wouldn’t be his s/o and there wouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Being able to let his guard down is the foundation he is building every close relationship on. W = Weather (What would he do during a cloudy and rainy day?)  Lots of books. We all know he is an educated man. So if the weather is locking him inside his house, keeping him from going out - he will welcome this opportunity with open arms and read or maybe FaceTime his family? X = Xylophon (What does he think about their s/o’s taste in music? Is it different?)  He is, like Johnny, very open in terms of music. He would try everything once and maybe even include into his playlist what he likes.

Y = Yuck (Is there anything that might bother their s/o about him? Any flaws?)  Maybe he tends to be a horrible perfectionist from time to time, with a few things. Maybe he gets to tied up in work. Ten once said he needs a lot of work to function but I can see that his work-life-balance sometimes just isn’t as much in balance as one would assume.

Z = Zoo (Pets they would have)

Definitely a cat. Or 2. He would train them like dogs tho.

Taglist

@kpopsnowball​ @starrdustville @jeonghanmoon​

@himitsu-luna​ @pocky-otp​

Masterlist

#here we go #10101010101010 #wayv #wayv scenarios #wayv scenario #wayv imagine #wayv imagines #nct scenario #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct fluff #wayv fluff #superm scenario #superm scenarios #superm imagines #superm #wayv ten #nct ten #superm ten #superm imagine

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What a coward ass account. I’ve asked about several questions but I bet you won’t answer it because apparently you ship a fake ship and have 0 backbone and you can’t argue with anyone because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship. Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that. Wake up. Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy so how tf are y’all so fucking delulu and blind?

You know, normally I’d just delete something as rude as this but honestly you gave me a good laugh with it so I’ll take the bait. But FYI, while I planned on answering these questions sooner or later, because imagine this, some of us have jobs and things we need to take care of and thus sometimes just don’t have the time to write posts, especially when some of them take a lot of time and research, even more so when an average thematic post from me is somewhere between 2 and 5k words long. That takes a hot minute to write. Not that you’d care, but now I don’t think I’ll answer them because I truly don’t appreciate you coming into our asks and being this unnecessary level of rude. If you felt like I skipped your question or was taking an oddly long time to answer, it would’ve sufficed to send in a small question about it and you would’ve gotten a normal answer for it, but guess not.

There are several things I find extremely interesting and also hilarious about your ask, especially since they confirm basically every suspicion I have about shipping when it comes to Bangtan and mlm ships in general.

But I’d like to start with this first because it really made me pause there for a minute: “because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship” Since your ask is about Namjin I will assume this part is as well, yes, and I really am struggling to see how they, of all ships, are a “fanservice” one considering both Namjoon and Seokjin aren’t really big on skinship and initiating hugs and touches. What, exactly, about them is fanservice? Even more so since you go on to say this: “Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” so if these are your definition of what constitutes a) fanservice and b) a relationship, yet you claim Namjin is just fanservice, how can that be if you say they never do any? This math doesn’t math, you know.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s break this down point by point, shall we?

1. “Jin is never intimate with Joon” – Tell me, dear anon, how exactly do you know that? Are you their friend? A fly living on their wall and watching over them 24/7? And also, how, exactly, are we supposed to be shown that by them? Is Namjoon supposed to walk over to Seokjin and, I don’t know, make out with him while Bangtan B*mb Noona stands a meter away and films the whole thing? What even does intimate mean in your definition? I have a sneaking suspicion of what you’re asking for but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Since I like language, let’s get into the literal definition of the word intimate, shall we, because you might be surprised to find it doesn’t just mean what you think it does. According to the Cambridge dictionary, intimate has several meanings, and what Namjoon and Seokjin show us and tell us that they have is actually several of them:

“Being a close, personal friend”, does that ring a bell? It does, doesn’t it? Namjoon and Seokjin have known each other for ten years almost, have spent a considerable amount of time together, have had dinner with each other’s families, Namjoon was at Seokjin’s brother’s wedding, and Namjoon is the person he turns to when it comes to his lyrics, always makes sure to thank Namjoon in his Thank You section in their albums, and supports him however he sees fit. Isn’t that intimate?

I know you mean the sexual kind of intimate, and truly that is something neither you nor I have any knowledge of and, surprise, it’s none of our business either. If I remember correctly, we’ve never brought up anything really sexual in any of our posts because I don’t believe in this whole “sexual tension” thing that toxic shippers go around preaching about. Even if it were there, that’s not for us to discuss because their sex life is none of our business.

Next.

2. “never tells me he loves him” – Never tells you he loves him? And why, pray tell, should he tell you, specifically? Yes, I’m being petty, so what. Love speaks many different languages, and saying the words “I love you” is just one of many, many different ways in which you can let someone know you love and cherish them, romantically and platonically. Years ago when Seokjin posted a cover on SoundCloud he said in the accompanying post that he prefers saying I like you over I love you, so I guess that means he just doesn’t love anyone, yes? Besides, is he obliged to stand in front of the camera and profess his undying love to Namjoon for you to believe he loves our dearest leader?

Isn’t it enough that he shows his love and respect for Namjoon in other ways, like praising him when Namjoon was being hard on himself so Seokjin told him he did well and that he always does well even in tricky situations, or being by his side during red carpets and other such things because Namjoon once asked him to do so because he feels calmer when Seokjin is by his side? Isn’t that a beautiful way of showing someone you love them, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic love?

Next.

3. “never goes out of his way to spoil him” – Is Seokjin Namjoon’s sugar daddy? Did I miss something?

Next.

4. “never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” – now this point I have the biggest rage at because neither of these things—possessiveness and jealousy—are good things, especially not in a romantic relationship, but really, they aren’t a good thing in any kind of relationship. Possessiveness is a slippers slope, as is jealousy, the former being a great gateway toward an abusive relationship and while that might be “”””cute”””” in raunchy romance novels and movies, it isn’t in real life. And neither is jealousy. The only thing jealousy really tells and shows you, in the context you are going for, is insecurity and a lack of faith in your relationship and especially your partner. And that, again, isn’t a good or healthy thing for a relationship, especially not a romantic one. I know toxic shippers eat up this whole jealousy bs, YouTube is full of it after all and brings in hundreds of thousands of views (and dollars), but that has nothing to do with real life. So, the fact that we never see Seokjin, or Namjoon, jealous or possessive over the other? That is a good thing. Besides, enlighten me, how is this jealousy supposed to look like because true jealousy doesn’t appear written across your face in neon letters. I’m curious.

Next.

5. “Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that.” – if that is your opinion, I’m happy for you. I won’t go out of my way to prove to you why I think differently or why you should because that’s not what I’m here for. Yes, I have a certain opinion on Namjin, that’s true, but I’m not a toxic shipper who will fights someone tooth and nail over it because that’s stupid. And won’t change anything anyway. Besides, my opinion doesn’t in any shape or form negate that they are friends. Every good relationship should have friendship as basis, and I very much believe that they are very close friends, while your phrasing makes it seem like you think they are only work friends, as in people who are friends during working hours but stop once they clock out of work, just saying.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to somehow convert people into shippers or convince them of something, instead it’s simply supposed to be a happy space where we share our opinions, have fun with Bangtan, their music and everything else, and can have civil conversations without calling anyone out or calling each other names. It’s literally in our blog description “Sharing thoughts on everything Bangtan, as well as vmin and namjin”, meaning it is a blog “designed” for both OT7s as well as people who already are vminnies or namjinists, or both, and yet if someone happens to start liking one of these two pairings because of our posts, like I’ve seen happen with some readers and namjin, that’s great, but that’s not our primary goal in any kind of way.

This is our blog which also means we have the freedom to answer whichever asks we want to and however quickly we want or can. Chances are, perhaps, the way you phrased your ask simply didn’t sit well with us and thus we decided against answering it at the time. Just some food for thought.

Lastly, there are a lot of blogs that surely represent your opinions and agree with you, so what, exactly, are you looking for on our blog? Do you think by sending an ask like this, or questioning my opinions in such a manner, you’ll be able to convert us away from our opinions? Neither of us forces anyone to agree with everything we say, so you don’t have to either, and we also don’t force anyone to read our posts. If you don’t like what we post, you are free to look for a different blog with which you’ll be able to agree and find your opinion represented, I won’t stop you. Enjoy.

#answered ask