Tumgik
#it sucks that i never felt like i deserved to call what ive been through emotional or mental abuse
neosexuals · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-> San ateez, kitten
Enjoy <3 !!
Summary :
A/n: I Have thoughts and those thoughts deserve to be shared ALSO NOT PROOF READ
Warnings: bed friend ! San , idol! San , fem! Reader , cat ears, Dom! San , sub! Reader , SMUT ! , sex , nicknames (such as kitten,cutie ,sweetie) ,fingering , raw (wrap it) , big dick san 🙏🏻
Summary :It's been a week since you last saw it best friend San , you understood why because he had to go on tour in America, but it isn't easy considering that he had Ignored you the prior week for no reason . He won't pick your calls , won't respond to your texts it's all in all just making you feel down.
Mdni ^^
Tumblr media
Since last week you and San had decided on being friends with benefits ever since he had fucked you on your fluffy rug lying in your bedroom , it was heavenly. The way he pounded into you holding your hand and stroking your hair, you would kill for a good fuck by him again but he keeps ignoring you , you hadn't fucked since , it makes you question if he was even serious about this.
You desperately tried contacting him , until he finally responds "I'm leaving for America , I have a tour" you jumped as you opened the notif , you stared at your phone in utter disappointment, you wanted atleast a bit of payback, you want him to understand how mad you are he can't just drop a bomb like that after a week of ignoring you . So you reply with a dry "ok".
He left you on seen , expected honestly, you couldn't care less anymore . You plan on going to a club through this week , maybe hooking up and fucking around , you really needed it and desperately. You tried to fuck around but it never felt as good as sans , it never satisfied you.
You were estatic when he came back to Korea, you wanted him so bad , you surely got more desperate. You'd gone around the day you saw he came , finding material to convince him to come fuck you. Your definitely not big on kinks but fantasies ran through your mind when u spot a "cat" collar and cat ears , you quickly picked them up and sent them over to San immediately.
"hi san ,I missed you so much these weeks :( , Ive been thinking about us for so long , please come over ? I need u so bad rn ,oh also wear these > _0"
The letter sweet yet slutty , you'd hoped it persuaded him although it was quite sloppy , when you checked your phone you saw a meeting from San , you just knew he got it
Sannie : what the fuck is this [attachment]
Me : what is it?
Sannie : don't be cocky I thought you'd be all over me but goddamn
His message made your stomach drop , you paused and replied
Me : you thought right .
And there you go again. Being left on seen , it sucked but you gave up expecting him to mail it back to you .
You start wasting time by reading books and watching shows , until you'd hear your bell going off , you thought it would be the cat ears but you werw surprised to see San in a grey t shirt and grey sweats with the box in his hands "just shut up ang get in your room" he ordered at soon as you had opened that door , excited and happy you ran to your taking off your shirt and shorts, and he followed suit taking off his shirt and pants . "God do you know how needy you are for this?" He stared into your eyes before walking towards you slowly .
You stare back as he put on the ears and collar , staring into your eyes as he sighed "do I look that good" you giggled as you saw him "god your so hot, I swear San if you actually fuck me with those on I'm gonna go feral" he raised an eyebrow at your statement "the fuck did I take my clothes off for? , To take a shower are you insane ? Just take everything off and get on the bed , and quick" you quickly oblige and strip completely before laying on the bed expectantly.
You watch him crawl ontop of you feeling every spot of your body "god y/n , look at yourself, I can practically see how wet you are" you chuckle at his words "I'd be crazy if I wasn't,I was starved of your dick for weeks" he stares at you surprised before pausing and sitting up beside you "what happened?" You looked at him sitting up yourself , "aren't you curious why I ignored you for 2 weeks straight?" You stared back at him "Listen , Im sorry , I thought you wouldn't wanna talk to me other than to get a good fuck even though it's a big compliment I thought you wouldn't wanna talk to me so whenever you said hi or called me I ignored you" you chuckle "that's the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard" you lean in and lock your lips together
You kiss him Passionately slipping his tongue into your mouth , exploring every inch of your mouth ,the kiss slowly getting sloppy he pulls away and pushes you back onto the bed you huff at his actions eyes big , pleading him to fuck you.
"you really like these don't you?" He chuckled as a response your eyes stay the same.
"yeah no shit" you smirk back before snaking your hands down to palm his clothed cock "don't get cocky y/n" he slaps your hand away before taking his boxers off "do you trust me?" He asks , looking for any sign of discomfort still. "Yes sannie" you stare back at him awaiting his moves. "Good" he murmured before slipping in his digit, sliding in and out of your core as you melt around his touch.
"f-faster sannie" you stutter under his touch pleading for more from the kitten , "shh sweetie just take what I give you" his words cutting you deep as he inserts his index finger increasing the pace "awe sweetie look at you , already over just by my fingers? How are you gonna take this bad boy?" You clench the sheets under you your hands and legs stiffening , your body exposed for him to use.
"fuck look at you" san mumbled sweet nothings into your ear as he left marks all over your Body ,your whimpers fill the room as he increased his pace slowly , reaching your climax slowly
The knot in your stomach tightens as h abruptly stops noticing your moans hitching "you close baby?" He teased before spinning back into the same pace making you whine and moan , you could hear your juices "cum on my fingers darling" those words trigger you and you let loose immediately practically screaming his name.
You stare into his gleaming eyes "you wanna finish up?" He asks with big eyes. "Yes please , I've waited too long to just get fingered give me all of it" you smirk at him , pleading almost . He strokes your face before smiling warmly at you "good girl" he mumbles .
He played with your clit before lining up his dick at your core before stopping "wait , are you on the pill?" , You not eagerly waiting for him to just shove it in , before he smiled and smashes his hip with yours . Balls in deep into your cunt pausing for you to adjust to his size he moved as soon as you nodded.
He fucked you pretty , caring for you calling you sweet nothings as he mercilessly pounded into you . whining into your ears as you stare into his eyes , holding the collar with your index so he couldn't leave or stop . He started approaching his high pounding faster as he twitched inside you , increasing your stimulation causing you to reach your high "baby I'm cumming" he whispers into your ear warm as you nod for him to come inside you as so did you.
"next time I'm sucking your pretty dick with those on you" ,his expression surprised "oh really now? I'm excited darling"
108 notes · View notes
starz4valen · 4 months
Text
queers im fucking lost come save me
ok but in all seriousness,
despite labeling myself as aroace for a hot minute and finding comfort in that label and the community for a time—shit doesnt feel quite right anymore.
i have had ONE EX. one.
i genuinely think i was in love with him. i only felt what i felt with him,,,WITH HIM. nobody else. I felt the butterflies/giddiness, i loved his laugh, his smile, hearing him, his jokes, all the names he would call me, how much he said he loved me, our late night discord calls, having him around, just. him. when he rarely spoke abt shit that was bothering him it hurt me so bad, like i would hurt with him. and the mere THOUGHT of ME hurting him made me wanna sob.
as you can probably guess by the fact we’re exes, we’re not together anymore. it hurts. hell, my stomach tangled a bit as i typed that out. (could be cause recently someone who used to be a friend went and dated him and then got upset at me for getting upset at them but this ain't abt them.)
we broke up in like june last year, and i felt so fucking horrible about it bc it basically ended w him yelling at me over text at how horrible i am at listening and how i treated him more like a therapist—which i will admit i did. i sucked for that. it makes sense why tho, i was working through a lot of shit at the time, doesn’t justify it at all though. i should’ve treated him better. im desperately trying to fix it in my current relationships so that never happens again.
then again, he also treated me badly. he said things that really fucked with my sense of trust in people and just made me scared to get close with anyone like that ever again, or in general bc i was convinced everyone had some ulterior motive w me or secretly didnt give a shit abt me—but also i felt *I* was the problem. like every relationship im in is gonna end horribly bc im just that bad. its taken a lot to say that i feel loved by and trust my current friends, as well as trying to recognize that I deserve love, and im glad i can say that im getting better ^^
but,,,idk anymore
i concluded i was aroace almost a year after we broke up. there were a couple reasons. for one, i only really got that close w him. i dont really know if ive had a crush or what that feels like—in fact i think i faked one in elementary, the whole reason i got w my ex was bc he was flirting w me and it made me feel nice. (also bc i was worried he would be my only shot at love but i digress) i feel off when people talk about heading to poundtown or anything like that, the same with crushes—just crushes tho relationships i totally get—and i still struggle to wrap my head around attraction and how people just can look at someone without even knowing them at ALL and go “you. i want you.”
i wrote off how i felt when i was with him as simply some non-romantic form of attraction and called it a day.
but recently ive been reflecting on that, and i think i was wrong. the way that even now i get all these emotions by merely talking abt my ex says something. how upset seeing that "friend" going ahead and dating him after barely knowing him and just how angry i was says something. the way i cried seeing my best friend get a whole small crate of presents from their partner for their bday bc i was THAT JEALOUS says something. the way i yearn for affection and to be loved again says something. the way im starting to miss being in love again says something. the way i would always want some sort of relationship—even when i identified as aroace—but just never thought it would happen bc i didn't feel pretty enough, or mentally well enough, deserving of one, or like id ever be lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel that way again and how scared and sad that makes me,,,says something.
now in terms of poundtown—legit dunno. closest to that I've done w anyone was neck kisses from my ex, which i did really enjoy—but also i legit identified as ace like the whole time we were together and the few times he made jokes like that i felt uncomfy. plus the only way i feel i could be ok w going further w something like that is if its either excessively gentle or the most unserious thing ever. so tbh if i had to take a guess on how i feel abt that—not too keen on it.
I'm debating a couple labels, bi, aroace, bi and ace, demirose, and demirose and bi, but tbh i feel bi kinda fits the most? (maybe???) but also it doesn't. idk if its the fear of opening my mind to me being in a relationship despite my fear of intimacy and commitment or just that I'm aroace and this is my brain telling me to stop overthinking shit—but i know i wanna figure this shit out
if anyone has like legit any words of advice PLEASE send it my way. i will take even the tiniest crumb of guidance cause i am more lost than a child in ikea.
thanks to anyone who read all this <3
15 notes · View notes
bebx · 8 months
Note
hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY
but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.
i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol
AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.
god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end
hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!
it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.
and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.
13 notes · View notes
skinnymeanfaggot · 9 months
Text
im gonna say something and delete it real quick
ive been through a ton of shit and i dont think i deserve most or any of it. i never harassed alex directly to my knowledge i just spread the information and spoke about it. and i did that because i trusted my partner at the time. im not in the wrong for believing someone elses lies.
and then when smitty was called out the most i did was on my private when i was psychotic and panicking i was like well this isnt a big deal right they didnt mean it but i was defending them because at that point my entire life revolved around them and we were unhealthy codependent, i wasnt in my right mind at all and i couldnt think it was the worst time of my life because i couldnt trust my own thoughts and i went back and forth on hating and loving them because i was so unstable. but i never ever went out and said what they did was ok and i support them. i was mass dropped and maligned by so many past friends simply for being their PARTNER at the time. before i even had the chance to do or say anything people were cutting me off. i left twitter because it was so horrible for my mental health at that point, but now i feel so isolated from the warriors and map communities, and i feel like everyone has a really tainted view on me. and theyre like "you fucked up but thats ok!" and im like where did i fuck up? by being mentally ill? by being abused? like ive fucking gaslit myself into thinking ive done some horrible shit but all i did was believe a liar and then get manipulated by them. and because everyone and their fucking mom was abandoning me i clung to the one person in my life who stayed and was also constantly feeding lies to me about how we only needed each other and everyone else was unsafe. so like. im fucking sorry for being put in a shitty situation i guess. idk im just really pissed that people out there think i did anything fucked up because on the alex shit i literally just said and did what everyone else at the time was doing. because EVERYONE believed smitty and everyone said he was bad. i was vocal about it because they were my fucking partner and they frequently lied about how fucked up it was and how bad it felt and i was being MANIPULATED DIRECTLY. like it just sucks. i shouldnt have lost my friends and i shouldnt have had to leave twitter and everyone i know here, youre excluded because youve stuck with me. but if i see any ex friend from that era who cut me off come slithering back im blocking. and im forever forever going to be fucking pissed about how my life was ruined due to someone elses actions
11 notes · View notes
taegularities · 3 months
Note
Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy
just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god
first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it
second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you
lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.
i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you
Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷
sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon
panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺
i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.
and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️
the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺
your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍
2 notes · View notes
Text
The way time passes.
Logging into this old account and going through all my tumblrs dedicated to different things has changed me. 
Reflecting on my relationship with Bri, the heartbreak of Miraida, and the back and forth with India is so eye opening. 
Every time I go through a break up, there's a part of me that always thinks it's the same. 
This time felt different. 
I really felt like I would be a little bit sad for the rest of my life. 
But on the other hand, this is the healthiest I've ever been post break up. 
I’m not self harming. I am not spiraling. I am not so depressed that I can’t eat. Im still existing day to day, which I didn't really think was possible. 
In the last week, Ive taken time to realize all the little parts of myself that I compromised. Wanting Kids, Wanting a proposal, wanting marriage, talking without stressing that I was too “loud”. 
Figuring out my feelings has been the hardest part about this whole situation. Struggling with my self worth to the point, that I even thought I could excuse cheating AGAIN, is hard to accept. I think its hard to know that I loved someone for almost 5 years, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with them, and they so easily cheated on me with no remorse, no regret. That shit sucks..
And for a while, I was nothing other than sad. But once I took a step back, it was really easy to know that I want to be with someone who wouldn't cheat on me. That wouldn't even put themselves in a situation to cheat on me, AND lie about it. The truth is, not cheating on someone is VERY easy. 
I think I also spent a lot of time in the last 5 years, wanting to fit a mold that was worthy of Bo’s love. 
That's something that has added to the complexity of my emotions this last month. 
When I am with Jerod, I am authentically myself. He literally met me when I was 16. I think at the core of it, that makes such a difference. We were friends, and he met me as an adult when I was fully in love with someone else. 
He’s never once tried to change my idea of something or mold who I am. He loves me so gently, and also he loves me as myself. As my heart broken, struggling with her identity, struggles to take her meds everyday, self. Every day I have to remind myself that maybe I do deserve to be loved in such an authentic way, maybe I do deserve to be a passenger princess, maybe I do deserve to just be - with no expectations. I’ve always wanted to be with someone who I can so obviously know that they love me no questions asked, and when I think about the fact that Jerod makes sure to tell me he loves me every time he calls me, its a reminder that a love like that can exist. 
Truthfully, I don't know what Im doing with my life. I don't know when this house will be sold. Where I'll be living. What my job will be. And what the future holds for Jerod and I, and me and/or anyone else. 
But I do know that I deserve to be loved in an authentic and true way. That I want to be loved in a way that whomever Im with couldn't fathom cheating on me, and doesn't struggle to admit that I'm important to them. I want to be with someone who wants to build a life together, and isn't scared to make that a reality. 
9 notes · View notes
panickinganakin · 2 years
Text
stitches ch 3 (steddie)
hello everyone! here is chapter 3! to find previous chapters you can go here
please remember this a mature fic and intended for such audiences. minors dni.
Steve covered Eddie up with the navy blue sheet that was on the bed. Robin carried in two of the wooden chairs that were in the dining room of the lake house. "Here we go," she said, sitting them side by side next to the bed.
Steve took a seat and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked around the room and laughed lightly, "This was my room when we would come stay on the weekends."
The walls were a light blue color, sort of like the sky on a sunny day. The trim around the walls was the same navy blue as the bedding. "You seem to like the color blue." Robin made an observation.
"Yeah, guess I did."
"Not anymore?" She questioned.
Steve stared at Eddie, making sure his chest was rising and falling. It was. Steve was terrified if he looked away for too long it would stop. "I do. But I really like yellow now, I think that's my color." Robin sighed through her nose and scratching her cheek. Her hands were shaking again and Steve frowned, "It's going to be okay, Robs."
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Hopefully. We literally have no idea what's going on. And Dustin," she paused to take a breath.
Steve felt a stab of guilt. Dustin was with Nancy now, who only knew where, grieving the loss of his friend. Steve had been so jealous of Eddie it was ridiculous and for what? Because his young friend had another friend? And fucking hell, the look on Dustin's face while he was holding Eddie’s body.
"We have to tell him." She finally finished.
Steve shook his head, "No, Robin. Not yet anyways."
"Why? You seen his reaction. It absolutely crushed him-"
"Because. What if he thinks he's alive and gets hopeful? Then dies for real? That would hurt him so much more. There's also the possibility he'll tell Eddie's Uncle Wayne. Then Wayne would force us to bring him to a hospital. We can't risk that. He has a better chance of living here then in a medical facility."
Robin took in a sharp breath, "That's so fucking sad. He literally saved this shithole and now he can't even see a doctor? For fucks sake."
Steve sighed and nodded his head in agreement. He looked over Eddie again and an overwhelming sense of sadness and anger washed over him. He didn't deserve this; he never had deserved it.
Most of the dirt and blood was off him now but Steve knew when his condition improved they would need to give him a bath.
Robin’s hand crashed into Steve's arm and Steve bit a curse, "What was that for?"
"Steve! You idiot. Your mother is a nurse!"
Steve shook his head, "No. No way she would help with this. You've met my parents. They are not sympathetic people. She would call the chief down here on him and then let him arrest me for harboring him or some shit."
Robin sighed, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. She won't help us. However, you can steal her key."
Steve stared at Robin with his mouth agape, "You want me to steal from the clinic? In the middle of town?"
"Yep." She sat up quickly and held out her hands. Touching a finger each time she named an item, "We need gauze, bandages, b-bactine, uh, what else... Oh! We need an IV needle and bag-"
"You want me to steal IV stuff?! Robin! For what? Neither of us can do that plus we don't even know what he would need!"
"They give people IVs if they are dehydrated! He's going to need liquids if he's not awake and drinking water, Steve. Geez. For your mom to be a nurse you're missing a lot of basic knowledge."
Steve sucked in his bottom lip in frustration. "Fine. But he can't stay here alone. What if he wakes up? Or stops breathing?"
"Steve. I told you. I was a Girl Scout. I can take care of him. I know CPR plus I know how to pour a glass of water if he wakes up. What else could he need?"
"I don't know. A bathroom?" Steve shrugged before sighing again.
"Come on, Steve. He saved us. It's our turn to save him."
“I’m not saying I don’t want to save him. I definitely do. It’s just stealing,” he paused and inhaled deeply.
“I’m sorry but do you think stealing is the worst law you’ve broken in the past twenty-four hours?”
“Fine. I’ll go. The clinic should be closed by now anyway. I’ll be back. Please, do not let anything happen.”
Robin nodded quickly, “Don’t worry.”
Steve started to head out of the bedroom and Robin yelped, “Wait! If there’s some sort of medical book to teach how to put in an IV-“
Steve shook his head. He couldn’t believe they were doing this.
**
Steve started to feel anxious as he parked the car outside of the white building. There was a large sign that said “Hawkins Day Clinic” and listed the doctors who worked there. He chewed his lip. If he got caught he would risk not only legal trouble but his mother losing her job over it.
He thought of Eddie and shook his head, pushing open the car door. Fuck the job and fuck the police. He would do it for Eddie.
He pulled his hood over his head and looked around the street making sure there was no one out. Most of the town traffic was towards the outskirts of the county. Because of Vecna literally splitting the town open; most of the community was evacuating.
He pulled his moms key ring from his pocket and unlocked the door quickly so he could step in and lock it back.
There was a bit of natural light shining in from the moon which was all he had. He didn’t bring a flashlight because he was sure if anyone driving by noticed the light in the window they would call the chief. He was not interested in getting caught.
Get in, get the stuff and get out.
He repeated the sentence to himself as he shuffled through the waiting room and hopped over the reception desk following the opening back through the hallway.  
The clinic was eerie at night. The usual buzz of staff and machines was completely gone. It was just the sound of the air vent and Steve’s breathing.
With everything Steve and his friends had been through he had only made him more cautious. So, as he turned every corner he would check the surrounding area before continuing.
The supply was room was in the very back of the clinic.  It was a large room with metal cabinets full of different things all labeled neatly. The first cabinet had most of the things he needed. He grabbed a plastic bin that was on the table and started to throw bandages, gauze, alcohol wipes and ointment in it. Then he moved on, scouring the next cabinets until he found IV needles, bags of liquid which only confused but he grabbed a couple different ones. Then he grabbed a few boxes of latex gloves and searched through medication. “Shit. What does someone who was attacked by demobats even need?” He asked himself out loud.
He spotted a bottle of antibiotics and grabbed those along with ibuprofen and acetaminophen. He was starting to get antsy. He needed to get out. He wasn’t being fast enough.
He looked over everything again and sighed. The bin was completely packed full of different things now. Surely all of this could get the job done.
He shut the cabinets back and grabbed a metal IV rack. He had seen people in hospitals in movies have these at their bags holding the IVs so he knew he would need it.
On the way back out he stopped in the nurses station and mumbled a prayer of forgiveness. There were a couple different medical books probably there for reference. He grabbed the three that were on the desk then rushed back out to the car.
a/n thank you guys sm! feedback is always apperciated! feel free to follow me on my sttwt @ nickleisbitchin
44 notes · View notes
leanrexisfin · 10 months
Text
His dad made me uncomfortable with his statement 
I said he acts nice when other people are around 
He said what do you do 
He said woman are hell 
I said right 
He said men are normal were just animals 
Justin made ape sounds 
It grossed me out 
You guys are to emotional and that we could conquer the world in two days if we get our shit together 
I felt like he was trying to tell me fall in line 
I  felt insecure in my current setting 
I felt like he was comparing me to his wife (she’s 45) 
I felt like Justin didn’t stick up for me or tell him to stop 
I felt like Justin talks about me to him (I have been emotional ) that makes me uncomfortable
 I don’t like being compared to them because theyre old and the world is new and bright ( im 25)
I know that I am fine I feel like im just going through a difficult time right now and people are judging me for that. I wish I wasn’t having hard time but don’t have control over the current circumstance 
  Its a shame to me that I can’t have a weak moment. At least to the public in any sense male/female 
   I hate the patriarchy and how it makes women out to be this emotionally unstable raging bitch. 
 Women are not allowed to be women. Men are tyrants and just pass it off as being animalistic.
 I have a right to feel. and men do as well
 They get on high and always think they’re above the rest of the humans.
They forget when they feel 
  Justin was the most miserable person in my life who he had no money and life wasn’t going the way he wanted 
  I felt bad for him I empathize with what he may have been going through and I actually started to see things better. In this moment I began to grow 
  Goerge was miserable his job laid him off and he was in between jobs I witnessed it Fran spoke on it multiple times as well. 
 just the same I felt bad about Jorge and I couldn’t even imagine the pressure on his back to keep up the house and also the stress on Fran too have ahold up her end for her husbands sake I can’t imagine how that felt for george as well. 
 Justin is following behind his dad as he should but I am afraid that his father will contaminate his head with his nasty. Thoughts on women. I saw good in George until this conversation. Although Ive always noticed he goes on many power trips I never judged because I liked his character and maybe I still do but I completely disgree with his views on women and I don’t need someone who plans to be my husband having the same thought patterns. seeing woman as “emotional” instead of all knowing is delusional  . To think men call us such a stupid word is exactly that , delusional. Women are so Devine 
What’s the quote again ? Behind every great man is a greater woman.
So tell me how a great man is led by a emotional raging delusional bitch. 
Go figure 
And to the men that don’t respect woman as people. As humans. how about you take your dick and Continue to use womans bodies to jerk off. Because you deserve just that pathetic life you wish for. Filled with nothing 
And I feel sorry for Fran as much as I don’t like her either 
  How complicated of a life to live behind a man 
I don’t even think she likes to swing 
She just doing what he wants 
She so caught up in keeping her man and being a wife she can’t even see it anymore 
I don’t want to be like that 
Not ever 
I don’t wanna lose me in a man 
She works everyday
She cooks for him 
Cleans behind him 
Organize his life 
Probably take behind him
She has to stay happy stay horny and also be prepared to lick pussy when he feels frisky 
She’s VERY jealous and pretends to play its off and it kills her insides that (this is my assumption) she puts in all that work for a man who never kept his dick for her. Not even his eye balls 
She is constantly comparing herself to other woman she talks down on the girls she feels threatened by 
  and after feeling all that rage she plays it cool and washes the dishes the makes him a drink while trying to cook up a new way to suck him 
She’s not emotional she’s exhausted 
She’s pretending she’s not 
My mother does the same thing 
Women carry this burden and its so stupid and meaningless I wonder if it is even worth is to try to keep a man 
Do I get white man ? 
Do I settle so a rich mana nd cry in a rolls royce ?
Do I manipulate my man for years on end to stay on top ?
Do I find a stupid man who offers no mental elavation because he’s easy ?
Do I waste my years “waiting it out”?
Or do I die alone. 
1 note · View note
zerobaseonefics · 11 months
Note
BYEE YOU SO CUTE???
(some) rich kids for the downfall (pr whatever its called idkidk)
yes exactly! and now since its my last year at school, its even earlier than it is normally
A DAY IS LITERALY TOO SHORT ?????? and dw ive never been to berlin or warsaw💪👲 oh yes save money save money, maybe you will go to paris soon anyway?? at least i hope you will get the opportunity to visit paris!!
nono i will turn off anon im sure of it😋😋😋 youre so angel omg i cant
i had like one exam (its for cooking classes) and i didnt learn for it but still got a really good grade🤭🤭 but tomorrow (today) i have a french exam and im so unsure of everything becuase i need to learn the vocabularies😔 the only things i remembered is that everything is like „en voiture, en vélo, en roller, en scooter” etc but there is an exception for à pied, jamais≠toujours, fermer≠ouvrir, the futur composé and the passé composé💀 thats not everything i need to know and thats the problem but whatever im going to freestyle it
AND OMFG IM SO MAD LIKE I WAS WATCHING EUROVISION RIGHT AND WHY DIDNT GEORGIA QUALIFY TO THE FINALS?? WHY DID SWEDEN WIN??? SHE ALREADY WON ONCE. I LOVE CHA CHA CHA BY KÄÄRIJÄ AND HE DESERVED TO WIN AND WHY DID PORTUGAL AND FRANCE RANK SO LOW??? ALSO SLOVENIA WAS SO GOOD (i maybe have a crush now on slovenias singer, Bojan) (maybe) (maybe means definitely) AND THEY RANKED 21ST OR 22ND OUT OF 26 COUNTRIES/PLACES AND THATS SO UNFAIR THE SONG WAS GOOD AND EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT I HATE THE JURY VOTES NONOOOOO WHY DID POLAND RANK 19TH SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT GOOD OF A PLACE€:@€(&&999 IM SO MAD
~🤍
NO YOU ARE 🫵🏼💥
i know it's hard to do so, bcz of the exams and all, but enjoy your last year in high school!! i personally felt soooo nostalgic of it the last day because it was such a good period for me (...at least senior year was). you'll see the difference when you arrive at college, but don't be afraid of it. try to see your friends as much as possible because it's hard to keep the friendship when y'all are in different places, so make sure you won't regret losing those moments 🫶🏼
i also hope that!! but it's not much of a deal, as a south france girlie i'm a paris' people hater 🤭
fine, can't wait for you to become my moot then hehe. and good luck on your french exams, i know it sucks but you're gonna get through it!!
BRO IM SO SAD I MISSED EUROVISION THIS YEAR ???#?@*@* SO LITERALLY I HAVE NO IDEA OF THE SONGS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUTBDJDJZ
what are your favs??? i'll listen to them
0 notes
toixxx-ace · 3 years
Text
Mothers really just forget every negative thing they've said about/to you and then just claim you're "making it all up" and "taking everything out of context" when you bring it up when you're older huh
23 notes · View notes
xgryffinwhore · 3 years
Text
september nights
request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught
Tumblr media
warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.
word count: 2118
before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.
through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.
“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 
he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 
he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.
he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:
“bill!”
his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”
smack.
your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.
the rest is basically history.
now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 
when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 
bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 
it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.
“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”
 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”
you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 
you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.
“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.
“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”
you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 
you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.
“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.
“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.
“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.
“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”
you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 
bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.
“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”
he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 
he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”
he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.
he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 
he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 
you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 
without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 
“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”
“i love you too bill.”
he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”
2K notes · View notes
g0ldengubler · 3 years
Text
lunchtime ~ spencer reid
Tumblr media
A/N: THIS IS VERY UNEDITED VERY HORRIBLE WRITING! i just wanted to get this out. this is a kink i have but never really talked about it. but i hope u still enjoy! it’s very weird so if you don’t want to read it you don’t have to :)
Category: smut (NSFW18+)
CW: rough sex, riding, doggystyle, special guests listening in
Summary: spencer reid works a lot. he’s an fbi agent, he can’t help but be a workaholic! but when you guys finally get time to yourselves, what happens when it’s risky interrupted?
Word Count: 2078
✨masterlist✨
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
having a boyfriend who works in the FBI isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Because of his job, Dr.Spencer Reid was always either gone on a case or working on cases at home. he could be doing it in the office, but spencer was a sweet guy and made a middle ground to see his girlfriend more. he was just as passionate about her as he was with his job, calling her every night when he was away, making sure to treat her when he got back or when he was done for the day. he made sure she knew she was important to him, which wasn’t something she ever felt from a guy who was a workaholic.
today was just like every other day. spencer got to do case files at home as there was no case as of then. Y/n tried her best to take care of him while working, as a return of the favor. She made him his favorite waffles that morning and even made him a fresh cup of coffee just the way he likes it-a cup of sugar with coffee to mix. He kissed her on the forehead, convinced that he didn’t deserve her. once he was done he went straight to work. In a way, y/n pretty much worked with him as his personal Penelope Garcia, as he was an old man when it came to computers.
it was lunchtime at this point. y/n walked into his office and stood in the door frame, watching his fingers move down the page in his book as he read. his fingers made her melt, and he knew that. clouds began to form in her head as thoughts of what he could do with this fingers took hold of her. she didn’t even notice he was wanting her attention as he snapped her out of her daydreams with a snap of his fingers.
“Bubs, are you ok?” spencer asked. he was still at his desk, his finger placed at the spot he was at. you looked back at him from his finger, noticing what he was wearing and it wasn’t helping your case at all. while he was wearing his favorite maroon cardigan that he thrifted (still lux though as it was ralph lauren), he also wore a pair of grey sweatpants. clever of him for the moments he had to video chat with people.
you were quickly out of your thoughts yet again as you felt your body move without you knowing before. you walked towards him as he turned his chair to your side. you noticed he was half hard in his pants, as the imprint of himself showed through. you sat on his lap and ran your fingers through your hair, peppering kisses below his ear. he chuckled, thinking you were being cute, but you were just getting started.
“it’s lunchtime bubs.” you whispered as you softly grind against him.
spencer put his hands on your his after guiding your body to straddle him. he guides them as his lips touch yours. “good,” he said in between kisses, gently rubbing circles over your shorts in the place you wanted him most, “i’m starving.”
not only was spencer the sweetest, softest man you’ve ever met, but he was also the sexiest and dirtiest. he was rough like a wild bear but soft as a teddy bear-taking such good care of you after he ruined you to filth. no one would ever believe the things you two have done together in the past year. no one would especially believe what happened today.
as spencer’s about to slide his hand down your shorts, his phone rang. he groan softly under his breath as his right hand left your side to grab his phone. you were a little annoyed at first, but once he put the phone to his ear, an idea popped into your head.
“hey hotch...” he said. you slowly leaned down and went back to the spot below his ear, sucking and nibbling it softly.
this wasn’t something new to the both of you. it was a fun little game you’d play if either of phones rang while you were in the middle of it, seeing how long they could last at acting normal. by now, spencer had got the hang of it and made it easy for him when it was any of his coworkers. today, however, he was almost struggling.
you heard other voices on the phone as well. you could tell by how low they all sounded that it was 3 of the men on his team.
“yeah, i was um...about to have lunch.”
you decided to try and break him a little, sucking a little bit harder.
“can i call y-“ a soft moan left his lips, cutting him off his sentence. his eyes bulged out of his head as his mouth fell open. you quickly coughed in a lower tone to help him out, trying not to laugh.
“yeah, luke i’m fine,” he said, “just stubbed my toe....shut up morgan!”
you giggled softly to yourself, but not softly enough. you heard laughing from his phone and realized you were busted.
“hi boys!” you said, jokingly sounding seductive.
spencer gave you a look that said ‘are you kidding me?’ which made you giggle even more. you hear morgan on the other end say, “aww, did we interrupt your lunch?”
“yeah, you did! we were just about to get started.”
spencer placed the phone back to his ear, taking a deep breath before speaking. “look seriously can we-“
he paused, listening to whoever was talking. slowly, spencer removed the phone from his ear and covered it with his shoulder. he looked unsure of himself, as if he was trying to gather the courage to speak.
“bubs,” he said weakly, “do you um...uh..d-do you want to...have the phone on speaker?”
you thought for a moment. you were always secretly into things like this, but never told spencer because you thought he would find it weird. but seeing him look kind of into it didn’t help the puddle forming in your shorts.
“you don’t have to if you don’t want to. whatever your comfortable with!”
you thought for one more moment before taking his phone out of his hands and putting it on speaker for him, setting it down on his desk. he looks at you confused.
“let’s put on a show for your coworkers, daddy.”
“ooooo coming in with the big guns already!” said Luke.
“y/n does not play.” said Hotch.
Spencer was frozen in his tracks. he couldn’t believe the words coming out of their mouths, let alone what was going on.
“well come on then daddy, give us a show! my popcorn is getting cold.” teased morgan.
spencer rolled his eyes at morgan before his lips attacked yours. you continued your grinding on him, this time he was grinding back. you moaned through the kiss as his hands went back in your shorts, rubbing circles on your clit.
“oh wow, spencer got a girl to moan like that!” said Morgan.
“is he making you feel good, hun?” asked hotch.
“fuck yesssss!” you let out a long moan as spencer moved faster with his motions. he let out a groan and cursed under his breath. you felt his pressed under your thigh and that made you try to hold in how turned on you really were. you held on for dear life on the armrests of his chair as he leaned back a little bit.
“are you getting close, baby girl?” asked morgan.
“yes yes yes fuuuck daddy please let me cum.”
“you wanna cum for me, angel?” asked spencer.
“yes omg please i’m so fucking close!”
“cum for him, princess.” said Luke.
before you could fall down the hill like on a roller coaster, you felt incomplete as he took his fingers out. you let out a little whine, letting the guys know he didn’t let you cum.
“ooooo doctor genius over there didn’t let her cum, how sad.” teased Luke.
“what are you going to do now?” asked Hotch.
“because she’s about to get fucked and really show you how much of slut she truly is. well, MY slut at least.”
spencer took his painfully hard cock out as you moved your shorts to the side. you felt the head enter you and shortly his whole length was slammed deep inside you before you even make a sound. you let out a quiet gasp before a loud moan escaped from your throat.
he let you adjust, but only for a short moment as he quickly began pounding you, holding you from your ass. you were a moaning mess at this point, letting out more dramatic, pornographic ones for the guys.
“fuck he’s really an animal isnt he?” teased Hotch.
“you like being pounded like a dirty slut?” asked Luke.
you moaned out a yes, but it wasn’t enough for them.
“use your words, baby girl.” said Morgan.
“i love being pounded like a dirty slut!”
“tell them who’s slut you are.” spencer growled.
you held onto him from behind his head and pushed his face in between your tits. “i’m you’re slut, spencer,” you moaned, “i’m daddy’s little slut!”
“you’re such a good girl, y/n.” said Hotch.
“fuck daddy can i cum? please let me cum ive been a good girl!”
“what do you think?” spencer asked.
“cum, baby girl.” said morgan
“cum for him, princess.” said Luke.
“cum hard all over his cock, baby.” said Hotch.
you finally came all over his cock, screaming as the pleasure surged through your body. spencer helped you ride out your orgasm and let you catch your breath.
“holy shit” said Luke.
“oh we’re not done yet,” said spencer, “she deserves a reward for doing so well.”
he takes you off his cock and makes you stand up, flipping you around so you were in front of him, your ass sticking out. he quickly put his cock back inside of you and luke and morgan cheered on. he pounds you harder this time, making sure you lose your voice by the time you’re done.
“youre such a dirty slut,” spencer growled, taking a handful of your hair and pulling it, “letting me fuck you over the phone with not just my friends, my coworkers. you like putting on a show for people? you want people to know how much of a fucking slut you are for me?”
your eyes rolled to the back of your head at his words. the pure filth in them almost pushing you off the edge as you squeezed around his cock. even the guys grew silent.
“fuck keep doing that angel, keep squeezing daddy’s cock like tha-shit im close. you want my cum inside you?”
“oh my god yes please, i want to be full of your cum daddy!”
hearing you say those words through him over the edge as you feel him filling you up, hearing him moan your name and cursing under his breath. he stayed inside you for a bit before he caught his breath and left to go get something to clean you up with. when he comes back he looks at you sitting in front of him, watching his cum drip out of you and onto his work chair. he wasn’t even mad about it.
“you did so good, bubs.” he says, walking over and kneeling in front you before cleaning you up.
“you were amazing, baby!” you say. he comes back up and kisses you, and it was hard to break away. but somehow you did after what felt like hours and laughed at yourselves for what you just did. you then remembered they were still on the phone. spencer grabs his phone and faces it towards them.
“well? how was the show?” you asked.
“holy-“
“fuck.” luke cut morgan off.
you had left them speechless before hotch finally spoke up.
“....we will not speak of this at work.”
2K notes · View notes
spenciebabie · 3 years
Note
This one is based on the visual with the one of teaching Spencer how to get you off but he already knows in this request but maybe they are just cuddling on the couch or in the car and reader takes Spencer’s hand and puts it in her panties and says to touch her and make her cum
omg rip! i went back so i could link the post and she’s been flagged so i had to delete her!
ive found some similar ones here and here
also thought i might combine this with another request:
! I hope this is the right place to make requests but if you could write a blurb about Spencer where he loves praising the reader 🤤 like calling her his little finger trap 🥺✋ ( I love you and your writing!!! 💕)
— —
You were restless in traffic, all pent up from the way Spencer’d been teasing you at dinner. You wanted to wait until you were home, honestly you did. It always felt better when you both had your full range of motion. But you just couldn’t wait this time.
It was dark outside, and it wasn’t like you were moving. So you saw an opportunity to pass the time. Taking one of Spencer’s hands off the steering wheel you placed it gently in your lap. It squeezed around your thigh on instinct.
You let it rest there for a second while you pulled up your skirt, exposing your panties as you reclined just a little in your seat.
Spencer was focused enough on the standstill traffic that he didn’t really notice what you’d done until you’d placed his hand right at the waistband of your panties. Tucking his fingers inside for him.
And then he looks at you, a little confused but mostly excited.
“I need you to put those pretty fingers to work, touch me and don’t stop till I cum” you moan out and you let go of his wrist, letting him take initiative now.
And he doesn’t need much more persuasion than that, his fingers diving into your panties completely, the tips of them teasing through your folds, gathering the wetness that had been pooling there all evening.
“Fuck, you’re soaked” he mutters out as his fingers continue to explore, “You’re always so good, so fucking wet for me baby”
“Couldn’t wait another second, it’s all for you” you moan as he brushes over the top of your clit, pressing with just the lightest pressure. He repeats the motion again a few times, never giving you quite enough relief. Clearly taking his own pleasure in the little desperate whines that escaped you.
“You love the feeling of my fingers on you?” You nod as best and you can and he smiles at you.
“Since you’re such a good girl I think you deserve my fingers inside you? Don’t you think?”
It takes all you have now to scream ‘yes’ so it comes out in a pathetic little whine instead. “Uh, yes Spencer please! I’m a good girl”
And then he curls two of his fingers and pushes them deep inside you in one harsh thrust, the noise you let out is downright pornographic and it feels like someone in a nearby car probably heard. But he seems so satisfied with your reaction than you don’t even care.
“You take me so well baby, your little tight wet cunt. My little finger trap” he moans out himself.
“Ah! Fuck! Spencer, right there” you start to squirm in your seat, his nimble fingers moving faster and faster, building to a harsh pace as they work inside of you. The heel of his hand slapping against your clit every time his fingers are buried to the hilt. The combined sensation has you writhing in his grip.
“Spencer, I’m so close— I’m gonna—” your back arches off the back of the seat, your hands flying down to grab his wrist in an attempt to stop his motions now that you were cumming, shaking so hard around him. But he knew you better than that, his fingers unrelenting, working in and out of you still, curling up against your walls on each thrust.
“That’s it, cum for me, nice and loud like a good girl” his own breath is harsh and rough as he speaks, pumping his fingers in and out of you over and over.
He hardly worked you through your first orgasm before you were shaking again. His fingers, your panties, the seat below you all coated in your arousal once he finally let up.
When he takes his fingers out of your panties he pulls your skirt back down into place, covering you up once again as the traffic starts to move.
Before he places his hand back on the steering wheel though, he takes the two fingers that had been inside of you and sucks them into his mouth. Hollowing out his cheeks around them and pulling them out slowly. Holding eye contact with you the entire time.
“Your fingers feel so good Spencer” you gasp, your chest still heaving as you try and steady out your breath.
“My cock feels even better, but you gotta wait till we get home for that”
707 notes · View notes
flowerwrites06 · 3 years
Text
break my mind’s eye special — jjk
Tumblr media
Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.
Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)
Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+
Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series
Parts: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Special 
Word Count: 7k+
Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff
Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation 
Tumblr media
Walking through the dark halls of permanently stained apartment building, Jungkook finally stood in front of a familiar number written on the text. He rapped at the wooden door a few times hearing a couple of grunts and rummaging from the other side. He sighed. “It’s me, Hoseok, you don’t have to hide the weed.”
“ Oh! ”
A few locks clicked here and there before the door swung open to welcome a light air of smoke mixed with the stench alone that could make Jungkook high. Hoseok gave him a loose smile, holding onto his arm as a wide grin spread across his lips. “You finally made it!”
Jungkook hummed trying not to grimace too much at the smell as the older male closed the door behind them.
“Come on, tell me…” Hoseok patted his back, prancing towards the couch where the coffee table was exuding smoke.
The apartment was miniscule with one bedroom door open on the left and a tiny kitchen on the right with a window next to the fridge. Another one near the dining table. Walls were a gross green tint and the floors a dull brown with black velvet couches that were ripped a little at the edges. But Jungkook could not complain.
“Tell you what?” The younger male dropped his bag on the floor and sat on the couch next to him, burying his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
Hoseok picked his joint back up and hovered it near his lips. “What was prison like?” He sucked in his cheeks causing the ambers to light up at the end before he blew the thick smoke away from Jungkook.
“Like living with a bunch of criminals. What else?”
“So just like old times then.” Hoseok smirked.
Jungkook glanced at the male for a moment before scoffing out a chuckle. “Yeah…pretty much.” Except there was one difference. Every time he pranced with criminals like himself in the past, he was a leader. In prison, he was young, fresh meat. Before he would also come back home to a warm embrace in bed instead of a steel bed alone with a stinky roommate.
“Well it’s all over now.” He blew out another puff of smoke, shifting to rest his head back against the couch. “You can start doing something else with your life. Something different. Not a lot of people like us get that chance.”
For the first time, he noticed a slight sadness in Hoseok’s tone despite being pumped with artificial endorphins.
His eyes flickered down to the coffee table, noticing the burger wrappers and scattered newspapers. One of them immediately caught his eye. Jungkook sat up again, pulling one of them out of the pile, the right corner of his lips twitched seeing the familiar face.
‘ FAMED DESIGNER KIM BELLE RULES TOKYO FASHION WEEK ’
A side by side picture of a model wearing violet and gold ensemble which almost resembled the traditional kimono with a modern, royal twist. The picture on the right showed her. Belle wearing a simple black dress with her gorgeous waves out and a gracious smile spread across her lips.
‘ Twenty seven year old fashion designer Kim Belle takes all the popularity and buzz with her winter designs for Tokyo Fashion Week. Showing her long love for traditional Japanese fashion culture along with an inspiring movement for domestic violence and trafficking victims by showcasing broken chains and kimono style gowns. An elegant mix of grace and fight for personal freedom. Truly an impressive successor to the legend that was Madame Saito and we are definitely going to keep an eye out for more of her daring projects. ’
“She made a big damn name of herself.” Hoseok broke through the thick coat of silence Jungkook had around him.
“She deserves it.” More than I ever did.
The older male searched his expression for a moment, scoffing a little. “Dude, I have to ask.”
Jungkook met his gaze as he leaned back onto the couch again with the newspaper still in his hands. “What?”
“Why her?”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you—literally could’ve had anyone in the entire country to pose as your fake wife or whatever. But you chose a fashion designer who barely knew anything about you to begin with…” Hoseok shook his head with a light wince. “What was your angle?” Some part of him did not want to believe Jungkook simply blackmailed someone for his own amusement because he knew the man was better than that.
Jungkook wished he had a decent reason to blurt out to him. Maybe he was just inherently evil and wanted to hurt Belle for his own pleasure. Maybe he wanted to fuck her one time just for kicks before dragging her out a little further until it was too much. Maybe he was just sick in the head, wanting to claim a girl who could not say a word against him because her and her brother’s life were wrapped around his finger. Except none of them felt like the truth. “I honestly thought she’d say no.”
“Oh fuck off—”
“Seriously I…” He shrugged a little. “I really thought she was going to punch me and storm out of there with her brother.”
“But the guards wouldn’t let her. I mean—no offense, buddy but you would’ve probably killed her. Knowing you from back then.” Hoseok scrunched his nose lightly.
“She did something ten times more dangerous though.” Jungkook couldn’t resist the jolt of pride bursting in him. “I destroyed her—so she waited until she destroyed me.”
Hoseok chortled a little, voice incredibly raspy. “I wouldn’t call going to jail for your crimes destroying you but sure…”
Jungkook shared a small laugh, nodding as he looked at her picture again. He could almost still feel her soft skin underneath his palm. How her hair smelled when he would hug her from behind as they slept, the way it soothed him to a calmer sleep.
“It’s a thing of the past though…” He tilted his head as his expression turned a little more serious. “…right? No more pulling her into shit she doesn’t deserve?”
“Yeah—yeah, of course.”
“Good…cause Belle’s the star of the city now. One wrong move towards her, you’re back in jail or worse.” Hoseok raised his brow a little making sure there was not a hint of determination on that young face of doing anything stupid. “You don’t have guards or power by your side and Taehyung isn’t addicted anymore. Has a wife and kid…he’s got the dad anger. So he will beat the living shit out of you if you give him the motivation.”
“I know, Hobi.” Jungkook chuckled, patting his thigh gently. “I don’t want her to go through it again either.”
Hoseok hummed a little taking another waft from his joint as he looked out the window, the sky tinted purple. “Alright. I’m gonna go and eat my girlfriend out.” He patted his shoulder, walking up to his bedroom.
“You had to look at the time for that?” Jungkook winced despite the grin on his face.
“Brother, when you’re together for this long, things need schedules.” He walked out of the bedroom with a black duffel bag putting out the joint onto the ashtray. “Food’s in the fridge and there’s Netflix open on the laptop.”
Jungkook waved him off before the door clicked close leaving him in his thoughts. For some reason, all he could do was look back at the newspaper and try to salvage that warm feeling again. The feeling of a true home that could never be.
-
Purple faded into a deep blue across the skies as Jungkook paced around the apartment in his bare torso, scattered with more imperfect tattoos. One cellmate liked doing tattoos because it calmed him down so the younger male did not hesitate much to let him use his skin. He was a nice man who had been thrown in jail for being a drug mule all his life and Jungkook could not help but have a nauseating guilt in his stomach.
Drug mules were essentially trafficked human slaves from Jungkooks’ experience. Their owners use their lives and bodies to transport goods without being detected and usually they start off terrifyingly young or desperate or both. All this service was done for almost little to no money. They were more abused victims than criminals but the legal system were not good at telling the difference sometimes.
Jungkook allowed his body to be used as if giving himself some kind of cathartic relief allowing the broken soul to control something else for a while instead of being controlled. Thus his skin now littered with designs of devil horns, tiger flowers and his own personal request was a tiny print font ‘B’ on his collarbone. No one could truly see it up close but he wanted to feel it there.
Chugging a generous sip from his beer bottle, he quietly observed the night sky glimmering with stars while the city shone in neon. The one thing his mansion lacked was the clear view of how alive everything looked at night.
A knock sounded on the door causing his head to shoot to the side.
Hoseok should not have been home at this hour. Even if he was, the man would not knock in his own apartment.
Jungkook opened the kitchen drawer and brandished a knife before making his way over to the door. Another knock sounded again. It was a gentle knock. Almost shy. But he knew better than soften up so easily. Carefully, he peeked through the peephole trying not to make too much of a sound even though the wooden floors creaked far too much.
His heart jumped right up to his throat seeing the familiar face on the other side. Jungkook almost dropped the knife on the floor trying to focus as best as he could. Was he drunk already? Was he dreaming? Gulping down, he placed the knife on the side table along with the beer bottle and opened the door.
When the view became clear to him, Jungkook let out a sharp breath. “Belle.”
Her hair was shorter up to her shoulders compared to the length in the newspaper picture except she still always kept her natural waves. Eyes a little glazed while her flushed lips spread into a weak smile before pressing them together again. “I-I don’t–I don’t know why I’m here.” Belle’s furrowed her brows a little.
“It’s okay.” He whispered. “Come in.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.” Jungkook smiled even though a small tinge of sadness shone in his eyes.
He opened the door further for her to enter before closing it behind him. Eyes flickered down to her grey sweatpants and frilly white socks paired with a thick sweater like she just woke up from a nap.
Belle kept her back to him for a few minutes, pretending to observe the apartment even though she was really just trying to figure out why she was here. Questions muddled her mind over and over again. Any valid or logical answer. There was nothing. No reason to be standing here when she tried so hard to walk away from him. She did everything to get away. Now she walked right back without any coercion.
Jungkook tilted his head attempting to meet her gaze but decided not to force it too much. “You cut your hair.” A smile twitched on his lips. “It looks nice.”
She absentmindedly touched her waves, breathing out a small chuckle. “Thank you.”
“Uh—how did you know I was here?”
“Namjoon helped me track you down.” Belle mumbled, guilt pooling in the pit of her belly going behind Yoongi’s back like this. She still remembered what Namjoon said when he gave her the address.
‘I’m only giving you this because I know you’re tough as nails…no matter what people say to you…but the second anything goes wrong, you call me.’ Namjoon had become a close friend in the last few years. He had been escorting her back and forth from home to work.
Yoongi had been disallowed to see her after being undercover so he could get a proper therapy before doing field work again. So Namjoon seemed the next obvious choice to take care of her.
Finally Belle turned around to face him, eyes raking down his torso and seeing new designs etched on his skin. Not as precise as the phoenix but still beautiful. “The tattoos look good.”
Jungkook glanced down at his torso with a soft grin. “A friend did them for me.” He met her gaze again even though she quickly averted it, plunging silence back into the room as they waited for it to be filled. “Belle…why are you here?”
Her body deflated as the question lingered in the air, lump growing in her throat while her knees kept trembling. “I—” Belle closed her eyes. “I mis—I missed you.” She smiled sadly before trailing her glossy gaze away again. “It sounds stupid when I say after so long.” Her voice kept getting constricted from the lump, tears filling at the brim of her eyes. “But I still think about you…I still kept that—stupid letter after all these years.”
A familiar warmth seeped through his veins knowing she missed him but it still mixed with dread and guilt. Jungkook scarred her memories forever with his presence and she was so confused on what it meant. He could see the way she shifted and looked away as if trying to push reality away but face it all the same. “I hurt you a lot. I’m so sorry—if I—if I could do it all over again, I’d do it better.”
“How could it have been better?” Belle shook her head. “We met when my brother owed you a debt.”
Jungkook raised his shoulders. “Maybe we’d have met at your boutique.” He attempted to smile a little at the thought of just walking into that boutique and falling in love the normal way. The happy way. “I’d have flirted with you a lot and you’d roll your eyes at me. We’d travel together to Paris or Tokyo, explore the things we love and eat ice-cream until our stomachs ached.” A tiny chuckle passed through his lips.
Belle had to suck in her trembling bottom lip as tears began escaping down her cheeks. “And?”
“We’d get married…properly. Away from my family, we’d relax somewhere at a beach.” The visions in his mind played without any effort causing his eyes to flood knowing it was all an impossible dream now. “We’d have children…we’d love them so much, Belle—”
She couldn’t hold in the sobs that shook through her body. At the very mention of children, Belle felt a tingle under the skin of her belly, memories of the aches still lingering. “Why didn’t you just take the money?”
“What?” He whispered.
“Why didn’t you just take the money? And don’t tell me it was because of business or keeping up appearances. Why? Why me?”
The ever burning question. Even the interrogators asked them the question. What was the motive to taking in Miss Kim? A lot of people owed you debts. Jungkook only answered with a vague, menial answer that had no real connection to his deeds as a boss.
“It was—it was just an impulse…”
Belle’s expression hardened even though her eyes still looked so vulnerable and broken. “An impulse?” Her voice was small and meek. “That’s it?”
“I didn’t think you’d—say yes.”
Saying it to Hoseok was easy. Saying it to Belle felt evil. Jungkook noticed the darkness clouding over her beautiful features, a mixture of heartbreak and pure rage.
“You put my brother’s life on the line and you thought I wasn’t going to say yes?” Belle winced, tone rising back to its original power. A harsh slap of reality learning that one of the most traumatizing experiences of her life happened because one man had an impulse decision to use his power over her.
“Belle, it was years ago—”
“So why am I still getting nightmares about it?!” She shrieked leaving a tense silence to plunge into the room while her voice still echoed through the walls a little. “W-why h-haven’t I stopped seeing t-that mansion every time I close my eyes? Wh-why do I wake u-up scared that I’m still in that room w-while they watch—” Belle let out a loud, trembling breath closing her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks, dripping to her chest from her jawline as she hugged herself tightly.
Jungkook stammered, swallowing down the painful lump in his throat as he attempted to keep his composure. “You didn’t have to come and see me.” He whispered.
“I wanted you to see me.” Belle sniffled shakily. “Staying away from you doesn’t help because you could always push it out. I can’t—I can’t push it out because it’s inside me.”
“You think all this has been easy for me? That I just pushed it out?” Jungkook shook his head with a pained expression as their gazes met again. “Yeah our first meeting was an impulse but that didn’t mean it was always like that. I stopped a lot of contact with my family when you told me you were pregnant. That letter was meant to be the last thing I said to my parents before we left.”
Belle wanted to argue that he just started getting sympathetic after her pregnancy but she would be a hypocrite. Even she felt softened knowing a child was growing inside her. “You wanted to kill the mayor too, Jungkook, how long would that have taken?”
“Overnight if it meant I’d be escaping somewhere with you.” Jungkook spoke without hesitation, still remembering all the plans he had in place for their move.
“But I would’ve lost the baby anyway.” She smiled sadly. “It was natural causes.”
The male took a few careful steps forward, trying not to intimidate her but hopefully close a little more distance between them. “I didn’t just do it for the baby, Belle.” Jungkook sighed. “I did it cause I love you…but I knew we couldn’t be happy if we were at that mansion and I was still running the cartel.”
Belle sniffled. “I wish you didn’t love me.” Her chin trembled, her body tired of brewing more sobs as tears filled her eyes again. “I wish I didn’t love you. Maybe all this would be easier.”
“When has it ever been easy between us?”
“That’s the problem.” She pressed her lips together. “Love shouldn’t be this difficult. Maybe sometimes but—every single day wondering whether what you’re feeling is real…or worrying that something terrible is going to happen if I stay with you for too long.” Features contorted in pain as she stumbled on her feet a little.
Jungkook’s inhibitions banished immediately seeing her trip slightly, rushing to her side and gently holding onto her arm. Before he could say anything, he felt Belle rest her head on his chest. A burst of butterflies soared across his belly having that familiar smell touch his nostrils and the warmth of her body radiating onto his cold bare skin.
They didn’t say a single word as Jungkook properly wrapped his arms around her body, fingers brushing through her soft hair. Her sobs were quiet but her body still trembled and his embraced tightened a little. As if praying that all of her pain could be transferred to him so she did not have to suffer through it all.
Belle should have pulled away the moment he touched her but the warmth was too much. Her body felt heavy against his, melting onto his skin almost like they could join as one. Maybe that could repair some of the damage. Breathing became steady as she allowed herself to relax. A protective part of her still tried ensure she was not too vulnerable but another part said it was too late.
In this particular weakened moment, she was his and he was hers.
-
15 unread messages.
Namjoon: How did it go? Are you good?
Namjoon: Taehyung said you didn’t come home last night.
Namjoon: Belle?
Namjoon: I don’t want to have to track you down.
Namjoon: Please tell me if you’re okay.
Namjoon: Yoongi and Taehyung found out, I’m sorry.
Belle: I’m okay.
Namjoon: Jesus, don’t scare me like that.
Namjoon: Where are you?
Belle: I’m still at Jungkooks’ place.
Namjoon: Okay. Is everything alright?
Belle: I don’t know.
Namjoon: What do you mean? Did he hurt you?
Belle: No.
Namjoon: Just tell me what happened.
Namjoon: Look I’m not Yoongi or Taehyung. I won’t get mad, alright? You can tell me.
Belle: I slept with him.
Namjoon: Okay that’s fine.
Belle: No it’s not.
Namjoon: Did he hurt you or force you or anything?
Belle: No, no it was consensual.
Namjoon: Then I don’t see an issue.
Belle: How?
Namjoon: Considering he’s a former drug lord, I expected far worse things done to you then you two just consensually having sex.
Belle: Are they really angry?
Namjoon: I’ll handle Yoongi and Angel’s handling Taehyung. They’re grown men, they’ll get over it.
Namjoon: Just come back up again.
Belle: Okay. Thank you, Joon.
Namjoon: Anytime.
Belle let out a sigh, chest falling a little as she hugged her phone for a moment before placing it on the nightstand. Eyes scanned the ceiling, a few brownish stains here and there but nothing far too putrid. Her old apartment usually had those stains after a storm. She felt Jungkook shift a little, his arm still resting over her body while his face buried into her neck. It was so easy allowing the warmth to coat their little bubble.
Except it was not a bubble of theatrics. She was not pretending to be Mrs. Jeon anymore. She was a fashion designer with her boutique and Jungkook was a regular man trying to get by in the city. They were two normal people with no real threat to be together but they were here.
The ache between her legs still pulsed a little when she remembered the night before.
The very minute she resorted to hugging him, Belle knew it was going to be difficult to turn back from it. Deep recesses of her mind surfacing up to whisper in her ear that it would be okay just this once.
To feel him again.
To have his head between her legs at this moment, kissing and nibbling on all her sensitive nub while his fingers pads dug into her thighs. Jungkook took his time. Licking a stripe tantalizingly slow, tasting her juices until it was the only remnant on his tongue. He let out a breath through his nose as his lips wrapped fully around her clit, suckling passionately until her thighs closed up around his head only making him moan.
Belle whined against the vibrations on her aching, sensitive skin as her fingers found themselves knotting in his hair. Chest rising and falling she faced the ceiling. Lower belly burned and tightened as Jungkooks’ movement did not falter, shaking his head a little to jolt more of that head-spinning heat.
Bed creaked as Belle straddled him, bouncing at a steady pace while her hands rested on his torso. Moonlight painted her sweat glistening skin through the window. As if the whole city could see her relishing in her own guilty pleasure. Except the guilt was nowhere to be found.
His hand trailed up her abdomen to cup her breasts gently, digging a little into her tender skin to earn a small whimper from the woman. Then he moved up to her neck. Jungkook cupped the side, thumb tracing her bottom lip while the other hand gripped at her shaking hips.
Belle suckled on his digit muffling her moans all the while clenching tightly around his member until it sent shivering tingles up her spine. She hummed in satisfaction as Jungkook groaned at the pressure.
“You feel so good.” He pushed in his thumb a little further watching her slightly drenched curls fall over her face. A smile curled up at the corner of his lips hearing the sinfully loud squelch sounds their thrusts emitted. “So fucking beautiful.” Jungkook whispered. He forced himself to keep his eyes open, wanting to take every second of how she tried to suck on his skin harder every time she dropped down roughly.
“I’m close.” Belle’s words were a little muddled against his thumb. Her thrusts grew desperate and relentless, pussy squelching violently as their incessant moans swirled in the sex scented air.
Bursts of searing heat and unbridled pleasure shook through their limbs, pulsing through her veins as Belle’s movements became sloppy. Jungkook had his head pressed deep against the pillow as his muscles tensed feeling her walls clench around him before he pulled himself out, release spewing out onto his belly. Belle cheekily reached down to touch his reddened member, giggling lightly when he jerked against it.
Jungkook followed with a breathless chuckle of his own as she rested back on his chest, uncaring of how messy they were.
It was the first time they laughed after sex.
Granted it was not much but last night gave her a dreamless sleep. A welcomed type of sleep. They cried, hugged, moaned and laughed. So many sensations all at once was bound to make anyone have such a deep sleep that they do not want to wake up the next day. A wonderful feeling. It would be temporary before her other dreams settle in again but Belle was not going to let them get to her this morning. She wanted to relish in this new, momentary peace.
Jungkook began stirring more, light hum under his breath until he finally opened his eyes to a calming sight. Tired vision still a little blurred but he could always make out her face. “Sleep well?” His voice grumbled despite the smile creeping on his lips.
Belle turned to meet his gaze, mimicking his gentle smile. “Really well.” The curl slowly disappeared from her lips as reality seeped through their comfort. “We can’t see each other anymore. You know that, right?”
He nodded although solemnly. “I know.” Whatever red string they forced themselves to tie around their pinky finger had to separate one day. Even when reluctance settled in. “Like you said, love shouldn’t be as difficult as ours was.” Jungkook shifted so he lay down his back, one arm curled so he could rest his head on top of it.
“I don’t have to leave now though.”
“What, you want more?” Jungkook licked the inside of his cheek as a smirk formed, one of his hands reaching out to gently touch her lower belly.
Belle pushed his hand away with a chuckle. “No…I meant something else.” She pulled the sheets up to cover herself a little, goosebumps forming on her skin when the room brushed a little cold. “Ice-cream. We could get ice-cream.”
A jolt of nostalgia burst through him as he remembered the last time that request was passed between them. Despite expecting a child back then, Jungkook preferred this more knowing Belle was sitting here by her own volition. That was what mattered most. “Yeah…we can get ice-cream.”
-
Tiny slab of pink and mint down the food line of the city. Belle somehow managed to make his black T-shirt and her sweatpants look strangely put together while he buried himself in his hoodie. They walked inside the cute parlor immediately greeted by a kind boy at the counter.
Making their orders, the couple took their ice-cream cups to a booth at the corner.
Thankfully the parlor was empty since no one bought ice-cream this early in the morning so it would be difficult for them to be spotted.
Journalists eventually grew bored of doing stories on Jungkook and Belle’s ‘tragic love story’ but she knew the moment, a single person saw them, it would be chaos.
“Did you have any trouble these few years?” Jungkook asked feeling a sense of joy in his mouth as the sweet taste touched his tongue.
Belle shrugged lightly. “Apparently there was a hired hitman for a while but he was quickly detained. Then a stalker which lasted for a few months.”
“What did he want?”
“Namjoon found out he was a spy for a gang called Pogpungu Pa.”
“Fucking tongue twister.” Jungkook scoffed. “They wanted a large percentage of my cocaine supplies in exchange for prostitutes.” He waved his spoon. “Told him I didn’t work in that line of business so the Don got pissed.”
“Well he’s also detained. Namjoon’s been very quick in dealing with them. Probably happy to be out on the field again with Yoongi still at his desk.” Belle suckled the remnants of brownie bits from her spoon.
“Why is he at his desk?” His brows furrowed.
“Standard procedure, I guess. Every detective is meant to have a few months of therapy and leave from field work. But I’m pretty sure it’s a new thing that the mayor advised.”
“They’ve been doing a lot of things.”
“A lot of good things.” Belle corrected, narrowing her gaze even though her expression was not completely serious.
Jungkook smiled lightly picking up another small scoop of his ice-cream. “You’ve been doing a lot of good things. The Tokyo fashion week.”
Her eyes almost immediately lit up when the topic was mentioned and Jungkook couldn’t help but feel accomplished that he initiated it. “You knew about that?”
“Saw it in the newspaper. It looked good.”
Belle grinned from ear to ear, eyes shining in the bright lights of the parlor. “Angel helped me with the movement. She wanted to create a shelter for domestic violence victims like her. So I offered to promote it in the fashion shows.”
“Oh yeah Hoseok told me…Taehyung and Angel, they have a kid, right?”
“Yeah…” She giggled lightly. “A little baby daughter.”
“That’s good.” Jungkook nodded with a wide smile. “He’s all okay now?”
“Clean and sober for four years. He—relapsed another time but when they got married and then started trying for children, he never went back again.” Belle murmured still remembering the happiest look on Taehyung’s teary eyed face when he first held his baby. That was all she ever wanted for her brother. True happiness. “I kind have you to thank for that.”
He hummed in disapproval. “Don’t, please—the way I did it was wrong.”
“Yes but everything happens for a reason. I think if that didn’t happen…he might not be here at all.” Belle shook his head. “He also did technically meet Angel in the Sangria House. The only reason we even had her booked was because I met Seokjin at the party with you.”
Strange how time fools you in that way. It makes you feel regretful of the bad things that happened in the past except you could not possibly take them back because it would mean diminishing the good things along with it. Delicate and strange thing time was.
“I would’ve never been free from that place if you didn’t go behind my back.” Jungkook smiled down at the cup. “I’ll always be grateful for that.”
“Speaking of which…how is it like being a normal joe in the city?” Belle asked with a cheeky glint in her eye as she tapped her fingers against the ice-cream cup.
“Apparently you have to pay for grocery bags now.” He waved his spoon around.
“Yes for recycling and it’s been happening for a very long time.” She smiled.
His bottom lip jutted out in a little pout. “Not from what I remember.”
“Since when have you ever shopped for groceries?”
Jungkook scrunched his nose a little poking into the mint chocolate ice cream to pick out the chips. “Since yesterday.” He mumbled. “But I’m happy…” He nodded letting his words linger in their comfortable silence. “Or at least now I can do things that make me happy.”
“You could travel to Tokyo and Paris, eat ice-cream until your stomach aches…” Belle grinned. “You can get married to someone you love dearly and have lots of children. No more deals though.” She raised her index fingers as a warning.
Jungkook laughed. “No more deals, I promise.” He mixed around his melting ice-cream for a bit enjoying the little swirl. “What about you? What’re you going to do?”
“My therapist said I should take some time off from the boutique when I get the chance.” Belle quoted her therapist mostly but she never really thought about the prospect on her own until she discussed it with Yoongi. “Yoongi suggested we could go to Norway to disconnect for a little while.”
“Yoongi…wait, are you two—”
“No, silly. As friends.”
“Ah.”
“You think if I had a boyfriend like Yoongi, I’d sleep with you again?” Belle scoffed even though a smile tugged at her lips.
“Hey I’m pretty tempting.”
“Not that tempting.”
Jungkook scrunched his nose at her before chuckling as he practically slurped on his ice-cream at this point.
The couple sat in silence for a few moments finishing their breakfast desserts, unable to keep smiles off their faces.
“We go our separate ways now, yeah?” He spoke the truth this time. The satisfaction in his belly along with the warmth in his heart softly stating to him that it was time.
Belle smiled, a slight twinge in her chest but nothing compared to the relief brewing inside. A whisper in her ear telling her it was okay. It was okay to move on. “Yeah. No more looking back.”
Throwing their empty ice-cream cups away, the pair walked out of the parlor towards Belle’s car. Jungkook’s apartment was a few minutes’ walk away. She wanted to drive because it made it that little bit easier to go back home immediately. At this point, they both deserved one thing to be easy.
Belle gave him one final smile before climbing into the car and driving away.
Jungkook didn’t wait a second as he turned on his heel and walked back to his apartment.
This was the true final time they saw each other. They would not turn back. There was no need to anymore.
-
As soon as Jungkook walked into the room, it smelled a whole lot more different than it did the first time. The only smoke emitting was from the pan exuding a warm, delicious scent. Morning sun beaming through the windows making it look a tad bit brighter and the floors almost shone clean now.
“There you are!” Hoseok announced with a grin. “Did you go out for a jog?”
“Yeah…a little bit.” He answered absentmindedly.
A figure with short, black hair stood at the kitchen counter setting some bacon and eggs up on the plate. She looked up and immediately give him a similar bright smile as Hoseok.
“Ah—this is Rosyne.” Hoseok touched the womans’ shoulder. “Rosyne, Jungkook.” He gestured over to the younger male.
The two exchanged greetings before Hoseok invited him over to the kitchen counter to have breakfast. He wanted to tell them that his stomach was a little full from the ice-cream. But it felt so peaceful when he saw the giggles shared between them while eating, random conversations that no one really cared about but it made them smile.
Jungkook stayed still for a moment watching them so easily be vulnerable and happy around each other. “Hey, you guys want to go to Paris?” He sat down on one of the stools.
Rosyne’s eyes widened a little as the request lingered in the air while Hoseok looked amused but taken aback at the same time.
“Why the sudden interest?” Hoseok chuckled, sticking his fork into some scrambled eggs.
He shrugged. “Might be cool to disconnect for a little while.”
“Prison wasn’t disconnecting enough?”
Jungkook nudged his arm with a light scoff. “You know what I mean. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I’ve—always wanted to see the Louvre in real life.” Rosyne raised her shoulders, giving Hoseok an adorable smile.
“Don’t spoil him, Ros.” Hoseok glanced at the both of them for a few moments before letting out a defeated sigh. “We’ll think about it.”
Jungkook did not argue any further after that and began taking careful bites of the breakfast even though it might give him a stomach ache later. The thought of something actually exciting happening this year or the next year made him happy enough to keep going on this new life.
-
Carefully padding into the apartment, Belle’s footsteps were soft and barely echoed across the walls but there was no use in being discreet. Especially since Yoongi, Taehyung, Namjoon and Angel were all in the sitting room. Bloom sat on the floor completely focused on banging her little drums that Namjoon gifted her on her first birthday.
Once Angel looked her way, everyone else followed suit. Yoongi was the first one to shoot up to his feet and stomp towards the woman.
“What took you so long?” Yoongis’ words sounded more like pleading than anger. “Are you hurt?” Eyes frantically examined her body until his gaze darkened as he stopped at her neck.
Belle hovered her hand over the patch of skin that definitely had a few purpling marks scattered but she kept a calm expression. “Everything’s fine, okay? Nothing happened.”
“No something happened.”
“Yoongi, fuck off.” Namjoon grabbed his shoulder and led him to the side. “Good to have you back in one piece, B.”
As the two men sat near the paneled windows muttering a few things to each other, Belle caught another figure coming towards her from the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath keeping her gaze on her brother.
Taehyung looked so much taller now. Loose emerald shirt with golden vectors as opposed to the old black hoodies, his eyes were a little darkened from exhaustion but this time it was to take care of his baby rather than an accidental bender. The serious expression on his face added more to the fact that Belle had her older brother back. He was sturdy in his appearance and confident in his stance. The look of a man who had gone through a tunnel of hell and found happiness at the end of the trail.
“How’d it go?” He asked.
“Pretty civil…” Belle nodded, playing with her fingers a little. “…considering the circumstances.”
Taehyung hummed in approval. “That’s good. And that?” He waved his index finger across his own bare neck while looking at hers. “Good or bad?”
“Good.” She smiled faintly. “Really good.”
He grimaced a little. “Gross.”
“Shut up.”
Taehyung could not seem to keep his serious expression as a light chuckle broke out of him, shifting on his spot to loosen up. “But—no more, right? We’re gonna try to get back up again? Start over?” He would be the last person to ever judge Belle for her impulses. What he did know is that the impulses were not meant to be a constant.
Belle did not hesitate to nod. “I uh—I wanted to go to Norway. With Yoongi…” She glanced over to the side seeing Yoongi give her a more apologetic look which the woman smiled in response. “And maybe you guys too? Get away from the city for a while.” She shrugged. “Might even give me inspiration on the new line.”
He thought on the idea for a moment but quickly had a wide grin on his lips. “Angel’s been talking about going on a holiday. We could talk about it over breakfast.”
“Let me just go freshen up.” Belle patted him on the shoulder before making her up the top level of the apartment to her bedroom.
Being the owner of a prestigious boutique came with its perks when she managed to get a big enough apartment for three people including safety for children. It was in the highly populated areas of the city which is meant to be the best area for the position they were in. With Angel’s first husband and Belle’s connection to the Jeon Cartel, the more witnesses around them, the better.
Walking into her bedroom, Belle had one thing in mind before going to shower as she opened her walk-in closet. On the top shelves a box had been hidden under some folded sheets. She reached out and pulled it towards her feeling the light trickle of dust flow through the air making her sneeze.
Sniffling a little she brought the brown box and sat down on the bed with it. Belle paused for a moment, a very light tinge of dread brushing through her but there was a strength that seemed to power through it. Taking a deep breath she clicked open the box. Two tiny yellow shoes on the right hand side causing her to let out a shaky sigh, smiling a little as a few tears filled her eyes.
Belle held the shoes gently, hugging them to her chest before placing them on her lap. Then her eyes moved from the bracelet to the piece of folded paper. The warmth in her belly soared again taking the letter, unfolding to reveal the heavy promise scratched across the surface. The promise that kept her up at night for this many years. How much words could impact a mind was both fascinating and terrifying.
No more though. It was time. Something her therapist said to her in one session Belle would never forget.
It’s never about one solid destination of healing. You will never know exactly when you were healed. All you can know is when you decide to start or keep healing. That is what’s important. After that, everything will flow by you…in the future, it will all seem like a dream. But you’ll feel so proud of yourself when you look back, Belle. Even more proud than I am of you now. You’ve done so well and I hope you’ll keep healing.
Belle placed her fingers at the top of the letter and ripped it half, letting out a deep of relief as she put them together, ripping it again. Smaller and smaller the pieces became breaking off like petals from the already withering flowers in her heart. A smile widened on her lips as she let out something in the mixture of a chuckle and a sob, tears freely leaving her eyes. Teeny tiny pieces piled on the bed. Helping to remind her that they were just words after all.
With steady hands she gathered them together and threw it into the bin under her nightstand.
Then Belle took the yellow shoes and walked to the living room.
The group were already settling around the kitchen counter when she arrived. Angel had Bloom in a high chair feeding her some custard looking mush which she seemed to enjoy though slightly confused by the taste.
Belle walked over to where the child was and gently placed the yellow shoes on her socked feet. She could not help but grin seeing how it fit perfectly. Everything happens for a reason.
“Those are beautiful.” Angel gently touched the soft fabric. “Did you make them?”
“I got them from the market years ago.” She softly brushed through Blooms’ thin dark hair as the child tried to peek at what her aunt put on her feet.
“We were just talking about the trip to Norway.” Taehyung spoke up leaning against the counter next to Angel.
“Yeah, why was I not invited?” Namjoon pouted a little.
Belle stammered, chuckling lightly. “It was Yoongi’s suggestion…we can all go together. I thought you wanted to do field work for the rest of the year.”
“Still would’ve liked to be included.”
Bloom squeaked in response to Namjoon’s mumble, bouncing up and down her seat.
“Might need a babysitter if Taehyung wants to get laid.” Yoongi mused.
“Ah, language.” Angel covered Blooms’ ears but the baby only grinned wide looking at Yoongi.
“She’s not going to know what it means.”
“Listen, we’ll go together.” Belle silenced the group for a moment. “Namjoon forgets to take breaks from work anyway so it’d be a good way to force him out somewhere relaxing.”
“Norway does have a low crime rate.” Taehyung spoke.
“So it’s settled. We’re going to Norway and forget about our problems for a month.” Angel announced glancing at each one of them for a nod of approval.
Belle grinned seeing the group dive into their conversations about what to do in Norway and what hotels to book or the sights to see. No worries of any impending problem or event that could ruin everything. It was just peace in the loudest way possible. All you can know is when you decide to start or keep healing. That is what’s important.
She broke for her family once.
Now she was going to keep healing for it too.
Tumblr media
<< PREV CHAP 
272 notes · View notes
nyctophilin · 4 years
Text
Fake Affection | IV
Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue
Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.
All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.
Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader
Word count: 7.6k
Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut
Warnings: swearing, mild description of wounds, dom!jisung, oral(F), fingering, protected penetration, heartbreak
A/N: This got so long, Jesus! Once again I am really sorry for not posting this on time. Thank you for understanding! I’m not going to say much about this chapter. But here’s a fun fact. I wrote the smut part last. Literally, everything that happens after the smut part was written before the actual smut. Just enjoy it! Feedback is not an option anymore!!! If you read the whole story you are forced to give me feedback. Please! I really want to know what y’all think about THIS chapter.
Tumblr media
      “Stay still!” Y/N murmured, tapping the cotton pad on Jisung’s busted lip.
      It had been around ten to fifteen minutes since Jisung decided that it was a good idea to engage in a fistfight with Hyunjin. After her ‘boyfriend’ landed the first punch everything escalated in a full-on fight where, unfortunately for him, he was the loser. Not only was Hyunjin taller than him, but he also turned out to be a lot stronger and faster, barely giving Jisung time to fight back. 
      He did manage to hit the taller man a few times but he got hit three times more. They finally got separated when a group of male students passed in the hallway and Y/N begged them to help her stop the two. That way they took Hyunjin away and she dragged Jisung outside to the back of the university, to the same bench they sat on a few weeks back.
      “I can’t. It stings!” He once again jerked his head away when the rubbing alcohol made contact with his fresh wound.
      “Then you shouldn’t have fought!” Y/N held back the urge to shove him. He was injured enough. “Why did you even hit him in the first place?” The question that bugged her since he threw the first punch was finally out.
      Jisung grabbed her hand, stopping her from disinfecting his wounds further. Exhaling noisily he looked her in the eyes, an uncharacteristic seriousness present in them. Y/N looked back at him with expectant eyes.
      “You were in front of the window over the bench we sat at. Mina and the others saw when Hyunjin hugged you. I felt like doing that would make our relationship look more realistic and show that I’m a great boyfriend.” The confidence with which he said those words made her let out an incredulous laugh.
      “What?” Narrowing her eyes she tilted her head to the side.
      “What kind of a boyfriend would let another man console his girlfriend? I had to show her that I’m possessive and I don’t like sharing what’s mine.”
      Unable to control herself anymore she shove him hard and the man let out a wince. Y/N got up from the bench and took two steps away, trying to calm herself down. 
      “Mina, Mina, Mina! This is all you talk about!” Her voice was calm but her tone was stern.
      Jisung couldn’t see her face but he already knew how she looked.
      “I’m confused. Isn’t this whole thing about..”
      “IT’S NOT! It’s so not!” She burst, turning towards him abruptly.
      “How is it not?” The boy looked genuinely confused and that stirred Y/N on even more.
      “Are you serious now?” Jisung opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but closed it after taking a moment to think. “It is not, because it wasn’t her ass that you groped. It is not, because it wasn’t her chest that you touched. And it is definitely not, because it wasn’t a line that she drew that you crossed. This whole incident wasn’t about Mina and would not be even in a thousand years.” Her tone became harsher with each word she let out, turning into full-on screaming by the end.
      Y/N ran a hand through her hair trying to contain herself. She could not believe what just happened. The fact that he was confused as to why she was mad didn’t help her disposition at all.
      Jisung was watching her mannerism with blown pupils. He has never seen her this mad. She scared him in a way he could not explain. Maybe it was the fact that he just got beaten up and in her state, she could easily land him some punches that he was bound to remember. However, he had a very unsettling feeling running through him at the moment.
      “I never thought it would be such a big deal.” He let out but immediately regretted his words as he saw her lift her eyebrow.
      Letting out a breath and crossing her arms under her chest she fixed him with her eyes. In a voice that was so calm, it made the hair on Jisung’s neck to stand on end, she started talking.
      “Do you remember when you kept me awake until 1 AM to talk about the ‘Terms and Conditions’ of this whole fake dating thing we are doing? Do you remember how you made me agree to so many stupid things that we were supposed to do? I had one condition. Only one! Can you tell me what it was?” A smile so fake on her face, even someone from the other end of the university could tell it wasn’t honest.
      Jisung swallowed the lump in his throat, moving his gaze on the ground. He did not dare look her in the eyes anymore. Letting his tongue wet his bottom lip he opened his mouth to speak.
      “Don’t touch you.” He sounded embarrassed and ashamed and that pleased Y/N.
      “Exactly! I agreed to kissing, I agreed to hugging, I agreed to sitting in your lap if the situation asks for it. I only asked you not to touch me in any inappropriate way.” She took a short break to breath. “If I remember correctly when I told you that you texted me back ‘As if.’. What happened? Did I suddenly become worth fucking?”
      Jisung’s eyes widened at her words, the unsettling feeling from earlier growing. He could not explain to himself why he was feeling that way. Was it because of the way she was acting or because his behaviour pushed her to act like that?
      “What? No! It’s just…”
      “Just what?” She yelled, interrupting him.
      The man bit his bottom lip and slowly raised his eyes to look at her. 
      “I thought we were becoming closer, like friends. I didn’t think it was going to bother you so much.” In all honesty, he didn’t think much before acting. 
      He wasn’t sure why he did it in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that Mina was watching and he wanted to make her remember what she was missing out on. Or maybe it was the way Jay would look at Y/N every time the smallest gust of wind would make her skirt slightly flutter. He wanted to force himself to believe it was the first option, but deep down he knew he was lying to himself.
      “You are fucking right! We were becoming close. Compared to what I was thinking about you when I first accepted this deal, I really started to think that you were a nice and funny guy to be around. But you know what? Scrap that! You proved to be the asshole I always thought you were.” She let her head fall back as a headache started setting in. Letting out a frustrated moan she brought her head back up looking at Jisung.
      “And don’t even get me started about how upset I am that you punched Hyunjin. He was just trying to make me feel better after what you did. What is this going to do to your friendship?”
      “It will definitely be awkward when we’ll see each other at home.” Jisung murmured more to himself than to her.
      Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. Taking big steps, she closed the space between them grabbing the boy by the collar. The man froze, stunned by her action. Bringing their faces close, she looked at him with demanding eyes.
      “You are roommates?” Her voice bewildered, as her eyes travelled to every part of his face.
      Jisung nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. She pushed him against the back of the bench, knocking the air out of him. Her hand shot where her back was resting next to him and in a swift motion, she swung it over her shoulder. Taking a few steps away she turned around and looked at him with accusing eyes.
      “I can’t believe you risked your friendship with Hyunjin for..for. For a bitch who you are not even sure likes you back! How stupid are you? Do you want to know what you showed her today? You showed her that you are a nymphomaniac and a bogeyman.”
      Y/N ran her hand through her hair, annoyance pumping through her veins. She could not believe the audacity the man in front of her had. Sucking in a sharp breath, she continued talking.
      “Right now I should be with Hyunjin, not with you. He actually cares about my feelings. I should be there to nurse his wounds and thank him for caring enough to start a fight with your sorry ass. You don’t deserve me and my help! I should just leave and never see you again. Leave you to deal with your little crush by yourself but compared to you I actually care about other people. It’s so pathetic how after a year and a half you couldn’t make her your official girlfriend so I’m giving you another week. If by next Wednesday she didn’t fall head over heels for you, I’m out!”
      Looking for her phone in her bag, she took it out when she found it and dialled someone. Turning on her heels, she left Jisung alone on the bench. Following Y/N with his eyes, his heart sank when he heard the worried tone she used when calling Hyunjin’s name.
      Jisung remained sprawled on the bench from the way she pushed him and a deep sight left his chest. He had fucked up big time and he wasn’t sure if he could do anything to fix things. 
      The man couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy that settled inside him when he remembered that she was on her way to see Hyunjin. She was supposed to stay with him. She was his girlfriend. Y/N was his girlfriend.
      He repeated that to himself for a few minutes knowing full well that it wasn’t true. They weren’t together. It was all just a game.
Tumblr media
      Y/N watched him with attentive eyes as the spoon disappeared inside his mouth and his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed the soup. His face contorted in discomfort when the spoon touched the corner of his mouth that was cut. One of her hands instantly gripped his bicep while the other was awkwardly moving in front of him with no exact destination.
      Hyunjin held her hand and carefully placed it on the table, not letting it go. With a bright smile, he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.
      “I’m fine, Y/N! Please, don’t worry. Eat or you’ll starve.” His voice was soft and loving, trying to show the girl that he was truly okay.
      Minho watched the scene unfold in front of him and a scoff left his lips. Besides that little cut in the corner of his mouth and a bruise on his neck, the man looked as good as new. He didn’t need the babying the girl was giving him.
      Shifting his eyes to Jisung, he felt an uncomfortable shiver run through him. The man had his lip busted in two places, a bruise under his eye and on his jaw and he had a cut on his forehead. And that was all only on his face. God knows what was hiding under his clothes. Hyunjin really didn’t hold back.
      Looking down at his tray, Jisung only had a protein shake that he brought from home on it. He was most probably unable to chew things properly thanks to the wounds on his mouth. He was sipping from the shake while watching with sad eyes how his girlfriend was almost glued to Hyunjin, making sure that he’s as comfortable as he can be. Minho was looking at him with pitiful eyes.
      “Jisung is more hurt, but I guess it doesn’t matter.” He muttered to himself, giving Y/N side-eyes.
      In an instant, the girl’s eyes were fixed on him, a cold look plastered on her face. He felt his bones freeze inside himself, and embarrassment washed over him when he realised how scared he got. 
      Y/N moved her eyes between Minho and Jisung before finally rolling them and shifting her attention back on Hyunjin.
      “Jisung is a big man that makes his own decisions. I’m sure that when he started the fight he thought of the possibility of getting beaten. Now he has to endure the consequences of his actions.” She said, finally taking a bite out of her sandwich.
      “That doesn’t change the fact that he was the one that got hurt more. You as his girlfriend should be caring about him, not about the guy that put him in this state.” Minho said feeling the bit of confidence he had in him leave his body once her eyes darkened with rage.
      “I don’t know if you knew that, but Jisung knows how to handle himself. Look at how well he’s handling this relationship!” Sarcasm dripped off her tongue showing Minho there were parts to the story he wasn’t aware of.
      A heavy silence fell upon the table after she spoke and no one dared to say anything for a couple of minutes. The only sounds were coming from the cutlery hitting the plates and bowls. Chan finally let out a sigh attracting the attention of a few people.
      “Maybe he had his reasons to start that fight.” 
      The older man tried resonating with her. All they knew about the situation was what Jeongin had told them. Y/N got really mad after Jisung touched certain parts of her body and she left them, Hyunjin close behind her probably wanting to console her. He agreed that Jisung had absolutely no business starting a fight after what he had done, but he was his friend and he felt obliged to take his side.
      Silence. For a minute Chan thought she wouldn’t answer him. 
      “Oh, he did. I know his reasons and I can assure you they were all shit. He has absolutely no justification for what he did.” Voice calm while looking the older male in the eyes.
      “They were still reasons..!” Felix said in a careful tone.
      She rolled her eyes exasperated. Who the fuck did they think they were questioning her like that. Is not like she was mad for no reason.
      Letting the sandwich fall into the plate, she got up and swung her bag over her shoulder.
      “I have something to prepare for Miss. Park’s class. Jeongin, I will see you later to go to rehearsals, okay?” The man nodded in her direction and she got out of her seat, taking a few steps away from the table.
      Abruptly stopping in her track she let out a sigh. They were right. She wasn’t like that. She was way better than that. Just because he was an asshole didn’t mean she had to be one as well.
      Turning towards the table, she walked behind Jisung’s chair. Resting her palms on his shoulders she bent down carefully placing a kiss on his bruised cheek.
      Jisung jumped slightly at the contact, taken aback by the sudden proximity. His cheeks became a faint rosy colour and he felt a knot forming in his stomach.
      “Make sure to disinfect your wounds when you get home, okay?” She whispered in his ear, her voice soft and he nodded slowly. He didn’t dare turn his head around to look at her. 
      “Take care!” 
      She straightened her back, but not before placing another kiss to his cheek. Waving her hand to the other people, she finally made her way to the double doors of the cafeteria, leaving the room.
Tumblr media
      “God, this movie is so boring!” She exclaimed in the empty room.
      Y/N was currently sprawled on the couch in her living room watching some film Hayoon recommended to her. It was another Friday night without any plans to go out so she ordered some pizza, bought some snacks on her way home from university and opened a bottle of wine some of her friends gifted her a few months back.
      She wasn’t big on alcohol. In fact, she hated consuming alcoholic drinks but if that was going to help her with her boring night, she was more than willing to endure the sickening taste.
      Covered with a blanket pulled up to her neck, Y/N felt the heat suffocate her in a comfortable sort of way. She almost felt annoyed when she heard the familiar ring of her phone indicating she got a message.
      Letting one of her arms escape the confines of the blanket she shivered slightly when the cold air hit her skin. Grabbing her phone from the coffee table she brought it close to her eyes reading the notification on the screen. ‘Jisung has sent you a message’ Y/N rolled her eyes wondering why he couldn’t let her alone on weekends.
[Jisung,22:48]A guy from my major is hosting a party tomorrow night. Come with me?
      Y/N read the message a few times before scoffing. Was he really inviting her to some lame college party where people were only going to drink and have sex?
[Y/N,22:50]Parties aren’t really my thing…
      She really hoped he wouldn’t push the subject further. Every time she went to a party she ended up looking for her friends, that weren’t engaging in the most Christian of activities, everywhere to take them home. She had to drive each and every one of them home and help them walk into their bedrooms resulting in her arriving home two hours later than intended. 
      If that was not happening then she had to endure the advances of drunk boys and girls and protect herself from getting groped or rubbed on. That was the last thing she needed to end a week that was already shitty.
      Another ringing indicated she received a response.
[Jisung,22:51]Mina is going to be there. We’ve been texting the last couple of days and I think she might finally accept to be my girlfriend if I ask her tomorrow night.
      Y/N let her head fall on the arm of the sofa, a groan leaving her mouth. Receiving that message only meant she had to go. That might be his only chance to make a move on Mina until Wednesday when the whole fake dating thing was going to end.
      Then out of nowhere, a thought hit her and she started typing on her phone.
[Y/N,22:52]Then why do you need me there?
      If Jisung was going to make a move on Mina wouldn’t it be smarter for him not to want his so-called girlfriend there? Wasn’t she going to be an obstacle withs so many people that were aware they were dating around? Wouldn’t Mina be hesitant in accepting his advances if she was there?
      Y/N laughed loudly at her own thoughts. Of course, Mina wouldn’t care. She’s been actively trying to ‘seduce’ Jisung since their not so unexpected encounter at the outdoor cinema two weeks prior. Still, she was confused. How possibly can she be of help in that situation?
      She unlocked her phone upon hearing the familiar ring and read the message.
[Jisung,22:54]Make her more jealous. The chances of her accepting my proposal are bigger if she sees me with you.
[Y/N,22:54]Okay, fine. Text me the address and I’ll be there.
      She locked her phone and placed it back on the coffee table. Her phone went off a little bit later indicating that he responded but she didn't care enough at the moment to check. Wrapping the blanket around herself again, she continued to watch the movie that wasn’t paused during her talk with Jisung.
      “Oh my God, I should have asked him for more details!” She screamed a few minutes later when the movie got particularly boring.
Tumblr media
      The moment she stepped out of the elevator loud music invaded her eardrums. Even if Jisung wouldn’t have told her the number of the apartment, she would have been able to find it. The door was wide open, coloured lasers getting out of the room and falling on the carpet of the hallway. 
      Numerous people were scattered all over the hallway, drinks in hand and Y/N was wondering if the guy that was hosting the party was the only one who lived on that floor. How was no one disturbed by the vibrant music and chatter of the dozens of students?
      When she came close to the door of the apartment a strong smell of alcohol hit her nose and she felt her insides turn upside down. This wasn’t going to be a fun night for her at all. She could sense it.
      Stepping inside the apartment she was met with the faces of some people she knew visually from university but most people there were strangers. Checking her phone to see if Jisung responded to her message she exhaled angrily when she noticed that he hadn't even seen it yet. This was absolutely great. She was in a house full of horny drunk young adults with absolutely no one familiar around her.
      ‘I’ll take a look around until he responds.’ she thought to herself. Maybe that way she will be able to find someone she knew. If Jisung was there, his friends were most probably there as well.
      The apartment was fairly big for someone who was supposed to live alone. A big living room, a separate office, a big bathroom, a bedroom which she thankfully didn't manage to see, loud female moans alerting her to stay away if she didn’t want to see live porn, and a big kitchen. 
      Stepping inside the almost deserted kitchen, she leaned over the island and placed her elbows on the cold surface. She was scanning the drink choices the host had displayed on the counters and disappointedly noticed how none of them was missing alcohol from their ingredients.
      “Can I offer you a drink babe?” A voice suddenly whispered in her ear.
      Her eyes went wide and all her senses heightened. Y/N almost fell down when she abruptly turned around but the owner of the voice secured a strong arm around her waist. A cheerful laugh she knew far too well filled her ears and she angrily hit Hyunjins chest, who only started laughing harder at her action.
      “You scared the shit out of me, you asshole!” She yelled over the loud music wanting to get out of his grip but he didn’t allow her.
      “That was the whole point.” The man chirped happily, knowing that his little prank worked.
      Y/N rolled her eyes at his childish attitude and slightly pushed his chest. Looking away from him to hide her smile, her gaze fell upon the other two people in the room. Insistently staring at her, they were whispering between themselves. She recognised them as being from Jisung’s Major. Their eyes were burning holes into her head and she awkwardly got away from Hyunjin’s embrace. What was up with them?
      “Seriously now. Can I offer you a drink?”
      “I don’t drink.” Came her short answer that left the boy surprised.
      “I don’t want to sound rude, but why did you come then?”
      “Jisung invited me. Speaking of him, have you seen him around?”
      Hyunjin’s expression turned into an apologetic one before nodding his head. Y/N threw him a questioning look signalling him to continue and the man chewed on his bottom lip before letting out a long sigh.
      “He’s with Mina somewhere around here.” Y/N’s expression brightened involuntarily before quickly going back to a neutral one. 
      This must have been the reason the two boys were staring at her so insistently.
      “Oh.. Well then, do you want to talk?”
Tumblr media
      “I really missed you! It was so lonely without you this past month.” Mina yelled over the loud music and Jisung swore he almost went deaf.
      He was currently leaning against a wall with Mina pressed against him. Her palms were pressed on the wall behind him, breasts pushed against his chest and one of her legs between his, teasingly close to his crotch. At that moment Jisung could think of only one word to describe her.
      Annoying.
      She was so annoying. He noticed this ever since they started texting again a couple of days ago. She was mean, self-centred and really vulgar. The jokes he used to laugh at were not funny anymore, seeming more like straight-up bullying. She was talking about herself so much. Every time he said something about himself she would brush it off and go back to talking about herself. And when reminiscing the ‘good old times’ she would bring up only their sex life.
      Looking back at the year and a half he has liked her, Jisung could not explain to himself why that happened. There was really no reason to like her platonically, let alone romantically.
      “Really?” He asked, trying to seem interested in whatever she was saying.
      “Aham. There wasn’t really anyone able to satisfy me the way you did.” She winked at him and Jisung held back a grimace.
      Was that supposed to make him feel flattered? He felt like it should have, but for some odd reason, he only felt disgusted by the information. Was she really incapable of having a conversation without mentioning sex at least once?
      Averting his eyes from her, Jisung’s gaze landed on the pair sitting on the couch for the nth time that night. Y/N was lying against the back of the couch and Hyunjin was leaning towards her, whispering things in her ear that made her giggle. Jisung couldn’t hear her, but he bet she sounded so cute at that moment. And all because of Hyunjin.
      For the past few weeks, he has been feeling really weird around Y/N. His stomach full of butterflies, face covered in pink, the desire to hold her hand and rage filling him every time he’ll see her with Hyunjin or Jeongin. And that was exactly what he was feeling at that moment.
      Jisung has recently accepted that he has a crush on the girl. He thought of it a few times before, but somehow his mind would wander back to Mina and he would dismiss such a possibility. However, at that moment looking at how Hyunjin was so close to her, he was certain about his feelings.
      As if they have talked about it beforehand, Hyunjin’s hands rested on Y/N’s thigh at the same time Mina pressed her knee against Jisung’s crotch and he felt something inside himself shift. Carefully pushing Mina away from him as to not hurt her and murmuring an apology he made his way to the couch. He didn’t know what he was going to say. He just knew he had to take her away from him.
      Y/N’s eyes looked up at him and a smile appeared on her lips. Hyunjin’s gaze followed hers and he retracted his hand from her leg upon laying his eyes on Jisung. He felt a small weight being lifted from his chest as Hyunjin’s hand left her body.
      “Y/N, can we talk?” He yelled over the music, making sure she hears him.
      Yes, that was a good idea. They were supposed to be a couple. There was nothing weird in wanting to talk.
      Her head fell to the side and her brow raised in confusion. Looking at Hyunjin, he gave her an awkward smile.
      “Sure. What is it?”
      “Not here. Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
      She threw Hyunjin one last look before sighing and getting up from the couch. When Y/N got next to Jisung, he held her hand and intertwined their fingers together. The man was leading her out of the apartment. They walked down the hallway in silence until they reached the door at the end of the corridor. 
      Jisung pressed the handle pulling the door open and Y/N’s eyes widened in shock.
      “Jisung, wait! What are you doing?” She pulled his hand, stopping him from entering the apartment.
      “Don’t worry. I and Hyunjin live here as well. This is our apartment.”
      She calmed down at his words and let the man pull her inside. Once inside, she took a few steps away from the door looking at the way their apartment was furnished. Hearing the door close behind her with a small thud.
      “So...is this the part where you break up with me because you and Mina are so in love with each other?” She chuckled and turned to look at him but was met with serious eyes scanning her up and down.
      “Hey, is everything okay?”
      “Let’s date! For real this time.” He said in a pleading tone coming closer to her.
      Y/N’s eyes widened and she took a few steps back, startled by the man’s sudden demand. She studied his face for a few seconds looking for a sign, anything, to tell her he was joking but his expression remained unchanged. She gulped visibly and gathered her courage to speak.
      “W-what?” Y/N stumbled over her words letting her nervousness show.
      Jisung came closer to her, putting his hands on her arms, holding her in place. She didn’t back away this time, letting the boy come as close as he wanted.
      “Over the last few days, I realised that I don’t love Mina like I thought I did. I guess I was confused. She was the first girl that approached me when I entered university and immediately after we started hooking up regularly. I never interacted with other girls with the intention of dating them and I didn’t realise what a bad person she was. I don’t want to date her. I want to date you!”
      His eyes were staring into hers with a newfound sincerity. Y/N was taken aback by his words and didn’t know if she should believe him or not.
      Leaning her head towards him, she sniffed loudly making Jisung pull his head back, his brows furrowing in confusion.
      “What a-”
      “Are you drunk? I can’t smell alcohol coming from you though.” Y/N said inching her head even closer to his and taking another sniff.
      The man was dumbfounded by her question. This is not what he expected. 
      “I haven’t had alcohol in a month.”
      Her expression turned into one of realisation and a sympathetic smile appeared on her face. Jisung smiled back at her, relieved that she finally understood him.
      “Did Mina reject you? This is why you suddenly want to date me? Listen Jisung, I unders…”
      “Damn it, I love you Y/N!” He cut her off, cupping her face with his hands and pressing their lips together.
      His sudden confession made Y/N freeze. For a moment she lost sense of reality and couldn’t think straight.
      When she regained her composure she had the urge to push him away but as his tongue was exploring her mouth she found herself unable to. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into the kiss, savouring his taste.
      Their lips were moving against each other in perfect unity and the kiss wasn’t too slow or too rushed. Jisung started walking, forcing Y/N to move backwards until they reached the living room. 
      Without breaking the kiss he crouched down and placed his hand on the back of her thighs. Taking the hint, she jumped lightly and let Jisung put her legs around his waist. Carrying her as if she weighed nothing, he walked into what she assumed was his bedroom and carefully placed her on the bed.
      Jisung broke the kiss, a single strand of saliva still connecting them. In a swift motion, he took off his hoodie revealing his surprisingly well-built body to her. Pushing her back against the mattress, he used one hand to prop himself up hovering over her and the other one snaked around her waist keeping her flush against him.
      Peppering light kisses from her ear to her jawline he let his teeth sink softly in her delicate skin. His mouth was sucking on the sensitive skin while the hand around her waist went further down, groping her cheek and squeezing.
      A gasp left her mouth at the stimulation and Jisung felt his shaft twitch inside the confines of his black jeans. Moving his hand from her arse to the front of her pants, he unbuttoned her pants and slid the zipper down with a quiet noise.
      Kissing and nibbling on her neck to distract her, Jisung slid his hand inside her pants brushing it over her clothed slit, not touching her properly yet. Y/N whined louder than he expected her to and bucked her hips up, connecting her heat with his hand.
      Smirking against her neck, he let his palm rub her, ripping a series of quiet moans from her. Getting his tongue out and leaving a wet trail from her neck to her ear, he bit her earlobe.
      “Want me to touch you, princess?” Whispering hoarsely into her ear, he moved her underwear to the side, tracing the outside of her heat.
      “Yes Jisung, please!” Her loud voice strained.
      Jisung hummed, satisfied with the response and connected his lips with hers again. The kiss was slow and passionate but his wounded lips were rough against hers.
      Hooking his thumbs in the hem of her panties, he slid them down taking her pants off at the same time. Letting his middle finger explore her pussy, he sank his teeth into her bottom lip softly when he felt how wet she already was. Sliding a single finger in with ease, Jisung started pumping it in a steady rhythm. 
      Adding another finger, shortly after he felt Y/N tighten around him and he twitched again at the thought of her pussy around his dick. He increased the speed of his fingers forcing her to moan louder. Soon the room was filled with moaning and squelching sounds.
      Breaking the kiss and licking his lips, he connected his nose to her skin dragging it down his body until it touched her pubic bone. The faint touch of his nose tickled her and she chuckled between breathy moans.
      Connecting his eyes with her pussy for the first time he felt his mouth water at how wet she was. Without losing any more time Jisung dove in placing an open-mouthed kiss on her clit. He groaned lowly against her slit sending vibrations through her body. Y/N whined and threw her head back at the unexpected stimulation, bucking her hips up against his face.
      Jisung was running his tongue through her labia, lapping at her sweetness while moving his fingers restlessly. He curled his fingers upwards inside her and flicked her clit with his tongue. 
      “F-fuck...Jisung!” She cried out fingers instantly tangling in his brown locks.
      Jisung took it as a sign to increase his speed, fingers curling up from time to time and tongue abusing her sensitive bud.
      Y/N felt the knot in her stomach become impossibly tight and she tried to no avail to push the man away from her. She finally felt the tension inside her unwind and a world wrecking orgasm hit her, a string of curses and moans erupting from her throat.
      Jisung continued to move his fingers inside her for a bit, helping her ride out her high. When Y/N calmed down he took his fingers out of her and watched in awe as her juices entirely coated them.
      Shoving his fingers inside his mouth and licking them clean, he got up from the bed and walked up to his desk. Opening the bottom drawer and rummaging through it he pulled out a silver package. 
      Y/N was watching him through hooded eyes still swimming in the aftermath of her orgasm. On his way back to the bed he took the liberty to take the rest of his clothes off, remaining completely bare in front of him. Y/N gulped visibly when she noticed his cock standing tall against his abs, the tip slightly curved red and leaking precum. She squeezed her thighs together, the need to be filled again unbearable.
      Jisung climbed into the bed and captured her lips into a short kiss. Y/N could taste herself on his lips and she gasped.
      Ripping the package of the condom open he rolled it on his length. Jisung spread Y/N’s legs and forced them to wrap around his waist. 
      With one hand he was holding hers, fingers intertwined and squeezing lightly and the other one was on his cock holding it next to her opening. Jisung stared into her eyes to find any form of restrain and when he found none he pushed inside slowly.
      Both of them moaned loudly as he entered her, walls stretching around his rigid length. At that moment all Jisung could think about was how much more better Y/N felt around him than he imagined.
Tumblr media
      A strand of light made its way between the light curtains in Jisung’s room and fell over the bed, tickling his arm where it touched it. A raspy hum left his mouth and he turned to face the other way from the window, throwing his arm on the other side of the bed with the intention to snake it around Y/N’s waist. The only problem was that she wasn’t on the other side of the bed and the sheets were cold, signalling that she was gone for at least some time.
      He lazily opened his eyes and scanned the room for any signs that she was around but there were none. Turning his head to look at the digital clock on the nightstand, big bolded numbers read 13:34. It was already afternoon. Maybe she got up and was in the kitchen or the living room.
      Groaning loudly, Jisung got up from the bed and stretched his stiff limbs. Dragging his feet against the floor lazily he made his way into the living room only to find it empty as well. 
      ‘Maybe in the kitchen.’ he thought to himself. Jisung walked the small distance between the living room and the kitchen, hope filling his heart, only for it to be gone when he found it the same way they left it the night before, not even a speck of dust moved from its previous position.
      Making his way to the table in the middle of the room, he placed his elbow on it and rested his head in his palm, an elongated sigh leaving his chest. Did Y/N really leave him? After everything that happened?
      Then, out of nowhere, something in his brain sparked and he remembered that Sundays she usually met up with Jeongin to practice the script. This must have been the reason she was not there. She wouldn’t leave him after what they did the previous night.
      Jisung’s face brightened at the memory of her underneath him. The way they loved each other with so much passion and desire. He could feel it. It wasn’t just plain fucking like he used to do with Mina. Last night he made love to her for the first time in his life. 
      An involuntary smile crept on his face. He could not believe it was real. Falling in love with someone that also likes you after so many failed attempts to find love. It felt almost too good to be true.
      As he was sitting there, fantasising about his relationship with Y/N, the apartment door swung open and a cheerful Hyunjin entered, humming a bright melody. Jisung ignored his roommate, too caught up in his daydreaming to care about his presence.
      When Hyunjin noticed Jisung sitting at the table his smile widened even more. With big steps, he reached the other man and pulled him into a chokehold ruffling his hair with his fist.
      “Jisung, you big tut! Really made me think that our friendship might be over.” Hyunjin chirped happily, letting the other man, who was struggling in his grasp, go. 
      “Yo, what the fuck? What are you talking about?” Jisung snapped at the taller man the moment he was free.
      “Why haven’t you told me that you and Y/N were just fake dating. I wouldn’t have given you such a hard time. But then again, I guess it made the whole thing more realistic.”
      Jisung stopped in his track at Hyunjin’s words and a confused expression adorned his face.
      “How do you know that?”
      “I met up with Y/N today. She told me everything before she confessed to me. Damn, and I wanted to be the on..”
      “Wait, slow down! What do you mean she confessed to you?” His eyes narrowed and suspicion was growing inside of him.
      Was Hyunjin lying to him? Did he want to tease him for having to resort to fake dating to try and win Mina? It was impossible for Y/N to have confessed to Hyunjin. She liked him.
      “Y/N confessed to me when we met today. She said that she liked me since last year but didn’t have the courage to come talk to me. Isn’t that crazy? How we both liked each other but never talked?” Hyunjin continued rambling on about his crush on Y/N but Jisung couldn’t hear him.
      All sorts of thoughts ran through his mind at the moment but he couldn’t organise them. Jisung could feel his heartbeat inside his head and a loud ringing in his left ear. He was so disoriented at that moment. Was it real? Did Y/N really confess to Hyunjin? He hoped that any moment now he would wake up next to her in his bed and discover that he was having a nightmare and that what was happening was not real.
      “If you stay and think about it, we wouldn’t be together now if it weren’t for you asking her to fake date. I should thank you, shouldn’t I?” The man chuckled but was soon cut off by Jisung, who grabbed him by the collar and harshly pushed him against the table.
      Hyunjin’s pupils were blown from the shock. Looking down at Jisung he noticed his darkened and angry gaze and he could not understand what caused that.
      “Don’t you thank me! Don't you ever give me credit for bringing you two together.” He yelled in the other man’s face.
      He paused for a moment to make holes through Hyunjin’s head with his eyes and clenched his jaw. Giving his roommate a last hard push that caused the table to move from its place, he turned around and stormed into his room slamming the door shut.
      Jisung’s blood was boiling. He didn’t know what to do at that moment to calm himself down. Y/N hadn’t left because she was busy with the movie. She left to meet with Hyunjin. Because she didn’t like him back.
      In a spurt of anger, he ripped the blanket from the bed throwing it on the other part of the room. Looking back at the bed, the place where he proved his love to her, he noticed a neatly folded paper resting in the middle of it. How hadn’t he noticed it earlier?
      He bent down to pick it up from the bed and carefully unfolded it to start reading what was written on it.
“Dear Jisung,
It’s me, Y/N, but you probably know that already. I’m writing you this because I won’t be here when you wake up.
What happened last night was a mistake on my part. Maybe ‘mistake’ is not exactly the right word to use. I don’t regret what happened between us last night. You are a nice and smart guy and I had a lot of fun with you the past few weeks, ignoring your fight with Hyunjin. This is why I feel like I took advantage of your feelings for me.
I don’t feel the same about you… I’m really sorry! I should have pushed you away when you kissed me. I don’t know why I didn’t. Probably because I haven’t had sex in so long. I feel like I gave you fake hope by doing that and I’m so sorry.
All this time, the whole fake dating thing was exactly that for me. Fake dating. If some of my actions made you think I might be returning your feelings, I’m really sorry! 
I did start liking you a lot in the past weeks but not in the way you would like me to… I really hope we can still be friends but if not, I would not blame you.
I’m really bad at this kind of things. I hope my feelings managed to reach you through this letter. See you at school on Monday if you still want to be friends.
Another thing. I’m going to confess to Hyunjin and tell him about our fake dating today. I was already scheduled to meet him today to talk about that since last night at the party. I felt like I should let you know.
And If I do end up dating him, like I want to, I hope you will be okay with that.
Take care of yourself!
Much love,
Y/N”
      Jisung lowered his hand and let it dangle next to his body. Letting the letter fall from his hand and hit the floor, a maniacal laugh left him.
      “Of course she doesn’t like me back. This is what I get for choosing an actress as my fake girlfriend. This was just another job for her.”
      In his mad chase to get Mina, he hasn’t realised that he was losing what was next to him. But maybe Y/N wasn’t ever his. After all, all the love and affection she showed him was fake. 
      And like a fool, he fell for her fake affection.
Tumblr media
Taglist: @qxkwu , @hoodlesspizza, @avisahoe, @just-let-me-go-sweetheart, @hyunooh, @iluvlix, @hwangful​(send an  ✨ to be added to the Fake Affection taglist, even though there’s only the epilogue left.)
900 notes · View notes
demonsandmischief · 3 years
Text
My Warrior Wolf - Ch. 3
Marvel - A Bucky Barnes Werewolf AU
Warrior! Bucky x Human! Female Reader
800 Words
Here's Chapter 1 and Chapter 2
Tumblr media
-Chapter 3-
When things come to light.
---
It had been a few days since you had seen or heard from Bucky Barnes. Oddly enough, you missed him. There was something very comforting about his presence - something that felt like home.
Either way, your house had been keeping you busy. You had sanded the floors and stained them, plus painted the walls, just in time for your couch to arrive. It was the first of the furniture.
The season was turning warm, slowly but surely, so you decided to take a break from inside and work on the outside. The lawn needed mowed. The snow had matted the green grass at one point, but the sunshine had caused it to sprout up like crazy.
There were also a few flower beds that lined your house, and one around the mailbox. They were an overgrown mess.
The work in the house was fun, but this was your favorite.
Early Saturday morning became late Saturday afternoon. You wiped the sweat from your brow, straightened up from your position when a car driving up catches your attention.
You knew the car right away. Bucky.
He got out, pushing his sunglasses on top of his head. "Hey," he greeted. "You hungry? I was just on my way to town for lunch. I was hoping you'd come with."
He looked very nice, as usual. The dark clothing suited him, and the shadow of a beard made you imagine how it would feel to kiss him. You shook the silly thoughts away.
You bit your lip to contain a giddy smile at his invitation. "I'm starving. Do you care if I shower first?"
He turned off the car and followed you inside. "Wow, it looks great in here, Y/N." Your name rolled off his tongue and you shivered slightly.
"Thank you. I can finally offer you a seat," you giggled, and he offered you an endearing smile that stunned you to the core. "I'll just be a minute."
Bucky took his time wondering your place as you showered. Slowly, you had added a personal touch and the whole house wrapped him in a warm hug. He had never felt this way before, not for Steve or Sam or anybody. And as much as he loved it, it also confused him. What had he done to deserve you? Why did he get his mate and his best friends didn't?
"Your work has been a gift to mankind, but if you don't do your part, I can't do mine, and the world can't have the freedom it deserves. Does it seem fair that you mutts get all of the special abilities?"
Bucky shook the dark memory away. The pain still lingered. He would never forget the way it felt being tied down.
"Are you okay?" you asked softly, placing your hand on his arm.
He jumped back, looking alarmed.
"I'm sorry. I thought you heard me. I called your name," you stumbled through your words, confused by his reaction.
"Don't touch me," the words were a throaty whisper, and you tilted your head, wondering what was going on behind those haunted blue eyes. It looked like Bucky was experiencing something that wasn't there.
"I won't," you promised, still feeling bewildered. You could feel heat rush to your cheeks as a feeling of embarrassment swarmed you.
Bucky sucked in a deep breath, thankful for his leather jacket. What if you touched skin to skin? The feelings he had been fighting would have been magnified, and the already overwhelming situation might have become too much.
That wasn't the problem though - not the main one, at least.
Yet, he felt like an asshole for making you unsure and invalid. He was going about this all wrong. Maybe he needed to suck it up and talk to Steve before he screwed up and lost you for good.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, sincerely.
"You don't have to apologize," you mumbled, rubbing your arm as anxiety crept up your neck.
"I panicked. That's all." He wanted to make it better. He wanted to fix the awkward he created. "Are you ready to go?"
You weren't sure you wanted to anymore, but you couldn't exactly tell him to leave, not when he had come all the way out here to take you.
You gave a nod, "Okay. Are you driving or me?"
"I can drive."
Bucky followed behind you, pulling his phone out as you lock the front door.
Bucky: sos. screwed up. panicked when she grabbed my arm. think I've ruined everything. I don't know what to do.
The text from Steve was instant.
---
Steve: Tell her the truth.
Here's Chapter 4.
-> Click Here To Be Added To The Taglist
-> Masterlist
Comments, Likes and Reblogs Make My Day 🤗
Tags: @marvel-3407 @rebekahdawkins @lakamaa12 @zealous-whispers-of-us-redux @ive-been-worse @miindfucked @drayshadow @austynparksandpizza @girlfriday007 @hollarious @imaginecrushes @callmeyesterday @nixrebel @valhalla-kristin @madethisinenglishclass @leyannrae
I appreciate you all so so so much. ❤️
126 notes · View notes