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rainguk · 3 years

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perfect pitch | ksj

⁕ summary; your stand partner this year is, to put it simply, insufferable. with a rare sense of perfect pitch and a stunning face to boot, this boy's ego is absolutely off the charts... but you'd be lying if you said you didn't care about him anyway.

⁕ pairing; seokjin x reader

⁕ rating; pg-13

⁕ words; 3.9k

⁕ genre; crack, fluff - stand partners idiots to lovers (with a lil bit of enemies in there), high school au, orchestra au

⁕ warnings; swearing, threats but like nothing violent happens LOL, seokjin's sense of humor: there's like one mildly inappropriate joke (i'm sorry bach), super cliche rain scene i apologize

⁕ notes; this is based off of infuriatingly true events in my life because people with perfect pitch just LOVE flexing it like i'll drop my fork on the table and my friend's just like "oh wow that was a B flat" aaaaggghjsdjsdf anyways... i had a lot of fun writing this and i'm nearing the end of another longer fic i'm writing so please look forward to that :D hope you enjoy!!! + if you ever want me to tag you in my fics just let me know and i will <3 plus this is unedited and disgustingly cringy as it nears the end so read at your own risk

⁕ tags; @imdamconfused @sunghoonight-x @iminchaosnow

⁕ song; butter (bts)

masterlist

You’re teetering dangerously on the edge, a mere few seconds away from stabbing your stand partner in the eye with whatever you can use as a weapon.

“Hey, are you okay?” Seokjin cuts into your murderous thoughts, alarmed. “You look… truth be told, Y/N, you look like you want to kill someone.”

“If you don’t shut up about how flat my A is, that someone might just end up being you.”

“How romantic.”

Your bow slides off your violin with a cadence of squeaky notes. “Can you at least stop flirting with me while I’m trying to tune this thing?!”

He smiles, a bright, brilliant thing that shows off all his perfect teeth. You swallow, heart suddenly racing a thousand times faster; it’s no secret that Kim Seokjin is probably the biggest pain in the neck you’ve ever met, but it’s also true that he is insanely good-looking. And you’re not about to deny it.

“You like it, though.”

Well, shit.

“Not everyone’s head over heels in love with you,” you retort, trying desperately to throw him off your trail. You know what happens with popular kids like him; once it’s known that you have a soft spot for them, everyone pounces on you, bombarding you with questions and snide remarks and rumors.

Of course, it’s complicated — because how on earth could you want to rip off someone’s head and kiss them at the same time?

But you tell yourself that it’s only because he looks like that; not because he easily gets you to laugh like it’s nobody’s business, and certainly not because he looks out for you in the littlest ways; leaving his rosin out on the stand for you to use and lending you a pencil when you need one.

Kim Seokjin is an insufferable little shit, yes. But he’s a friendly insufferable little shit. And you would honestly be so down to hang out with him and get to know him better, save for one little thing that’s been getting in your way.

His perfect fucking pitch.

Being stand partners with someone naturally gifted with such a sense is both a blessing and a curse. Countless times, Seokjin has saved your ass from being questioned by Mrs. Choi by letting you know silently that you’re a little too sharp, or playing in the wrong key entirely. (That last one has happened before.) Sometimes you can’t hear Namjoon, the principal violinist, too well from where you’re seated, so you’ve relied on Seokjin on many occasions to tune your strings correctly.

However, it irks you equally as much when he uses it against you, stopping you mid-piece to let you know that your C# sounds more like a D to him. No one’s perfect, and certainly not you — but you try, and to be shot down every single time by someone who thinks it’s absolutely funny to watch you repeatedly attempt to fix your pitch issues is purely exhausting.

“Hey, Y/N—”

“What?” you demand, sighing as you turn to him.

“Wanna hear a joke?”

“No—”

“Why did Bach have twenty children?”

Your eyes widen in horror. “Oh my god—”

He continues anyway, ignoring your plea with that mischievous grin, “Because he had no organ stops!”

Seokjin is trying his best not to laugh at his own joke, shoulders shaking at the punch line. You can’t help it yourself, a giggle bursting out of your own chest as you cover your mouth.

“That was horrendous,” you tell him once you catch your breath again. “Absolutely terrible.”

“Oh, worry not,” he proclaims, smiling widely, “I can do far better.”

“Wait, no—”

“What tone does a piano falling down a mineshaft make?”

You furrow your brows, thinking. “I don’t know,” you shake your head after a few seconds. “What is it?”

“A flat minor.”

Your jaw drops open as you process it, and Seokjin just watches you in amusement. “You should be banned from making these kinds of jokes,” you tell him. “Seriously.”

“Admit it, I’m hilarious,” he counters. “I made you laugh, didn’t I?”

He did, you’ve got to acknowledge. He always does, in some way, now that you think about it. Whenever you end up coming to rehearsal in a bad mood, it’s always because of Seokjin that you leave the auditorium with a smile on your face.

The realization startles you like nothing else — you hadn’t known before that he played such a role in your daily life.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” he starts again, “We have a concert tonight.”

“Yeah…” You turn to him, eyebrow raised. “You forgot about the biggest performance of the year?”

Seokjin nods, a faint pink dusting his cheeks. “Yeah. My bad. You’re coming, right?”

“Duh,” you reply, fishing a block of rosin out of your case. “It’s almost half of my grade; no way I can skip. Besides, I like performing.”

“You do?”

“What are you so surprised for?” you ask him playfully. “I do enjoy it. I might not be good — not as good as you — but I like it. I like playing together with everyone, being able to hear every other part fit in with mine perfectly.” You frown. “Now if you asked me to play solo, I wouldn’t do it for anything in the world. Ensemble performances are far better.”

“You’re good,” Seokjin says quietly, looking at you — it’s like he’s taking you in, letting his eyes linger on you for a little while longer. “Don’t think that you’re not. You sound nice, Y/N.”

You hold his gaze for several breathless seconds before scoffing, turning away. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not!”

“I don’t need empty compliments fr—”

Your bickering is cut short by Mrs. Choi walking onstage, a stack of sheet music in her hand which is promptly handed to Namjoon for him to distribute to the entire orchestra. You don’t offer your usual smile when he gives you two, and it’s with an impassive expression that you hand the extra to your stand partner.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Maybe you’ve made it more awkward between you two — but what else could have happened? Had you been hoping he’d magically fall in love with you and kiss you and you would have gone on dates?

No, of course not. This is Kim Seokjin you’re talking about; and besides, no matter how much you manage to soften up to him one moment, he’ll immediately make you want to murder him the next.

“Hey, Y/N… um — your D is just, you know, a little bit sharp—”

“Kim Seokjin, I’ll fucking kill you!”

“You, my dear, are just overcomplicating this for yourself,” Taehyung declares after listening to you rant about your problematic stand partner over lunch. “What’s the issue? You like him — don’t you shake your head at me, Y/N, you’re as obvious as an open book — and he clearly likes you. Why don’t you just date him?”

“It’s not that simple,” you grumble, brutally stabbing another piece of chicken. “I can’t just walk up to him and ask him out, Tae. Plus, he doesn’t like me, he just likes flirting with everyone he lays his eyes on.”

“From what you’re telling me, it sure does sound like it.”

“Taehyung…”

“Come on, you can’t possibly be that clueless, Y/N.”

“No,” you insist. “He’s a pain in the ass, and he enjoys getting a rise out of me, and he flexes that dumb pitch power of his whenever he can.”

“But you like him...”

“You’re not helping!”

This is where Jimin decides to intervene, tired of your back and forth arguing. “She has a point, Tae. But,” he says to you. “He’s also right. You need to take some kind of action.”

“Yeah, but what?”

Taehyung claps his hands, a telltale sign of a new idea. “Flirt back!”

“Okay, absolutely not—”

Jimin grabs you suddenly, shaking your shoulders. “Wait, think about it!” he exclaims, eyes wide. “It can work! That way you can see if he actually does like you, and you won’t publicly embarrass yourself by confessing to him, either!”

“On second thought, I’d have preferred to see the public embarrassment—”

“Shut up, Tae, you’re just making her feel worse!”

That makes you laugh; contrary to Jimin’s statement, your best friends certainly have succeeded in making you feel just a little bit better.

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual,” you tease. “Maybe I owe him a dose, actually, because I’ve seen firsthand a particularly painful confession back in n—”

“Y/N! Don’t you dare bring that up!”

Amidst the chaos of Taehyung screeching while trying to attack you with a spoon and Jimin holding him back, someone taps on your shoulder lightly; a momentary distraction from this madness, if you will.

“Oh. You,” you respond when greeted with the gently smiling face of Kim Seokjin. “Did you need anything?”

“Nah,” he shrugs, instead showing you his closed fist. “Wanted to give you something.”

“If it’s another one of my strings that you’ve borrowed and also broken, then you can keep it, thanks.”

Seokjin shakes his head, chuckling. “Not that, Y/N. I always throw out the strings I break; don’t worry. I just thought you should have this.”

With that, he places a small wooden box on your lunch bag — at a closer look, you realize it’s a block of rosin. Brand new, too, by the looks of it — when you take off the bright blue lid, there are no scratches on the surface, no sign of wear and tear.

“For me?” You look at him, surprised to be met with a rather fond gaze you’re not used to. “Why?”

“Noticed the one you had was basically falling apart,” he says nonchalantly, attempting to mask the slight tremble in his voice and the blush on his cheeks. “I mean, come on — how are you gonna keep your bow in good shape with those tiny chunks of this stuff?”

“Oh,” is all you can reply, staring at the gleaming black cube in your hand. “I — thanks, I guess.”

“No problem.” He’s back to his bright, grinning self again, all self-confidence and smug smiles. “See you tomorrow,” he tells you, before waving to your friends. “Have a nice lunch, guys.”

It takes Jimin and Taehyung precisely fourteen seconds after Seokjin leaves for his own table to lose their shit.

“Was he looking out for you?”

“Did he actually just give you a new block of rosin?!”

“And you still don’t wanna date this guy?”

“You guys are violinists! Gifting each other supplies is basically your love language!”

You fidget with the rosin, smoothing your thumb over the lid. “No, that’s just how he is,” you defend. “He always lends me rosin when I need it.”

“And you always lend him extra strings,” Taehyung says, a teasing smile on his face. They’re kind of right, you realize when you think about it. Never has Seokjin actually given you a block to keep, and though you might be overestimating the significance of the gesture, it makes your heart flutter nonetheless.

“Okay, anyways,” Jimin changes the topic, “How are we feeling about tonight’s concert?”

“I think we’re in good shape,” you tell him. “We’ve got everything under control — Mrs. Choi was afraid the cellos would screw up their solo section, but they managed to pull it together today and they sounded great.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same,” Taehyung sighs. “Not when the tenors keep screwing up their long note—”

“That wasn’t me! That was Jeon Jungkook!”

“Yeah, sure—”

You groan, rolling your eyes. “Come on, we are not arguing about this right now. I’m sure you guys will sound fine, you always do. Plus, Jeon has a really sweet voice.”

“I guess so,” Taehyung shrugs. “But I think the highlight of tonight is going to be Y/N getting to see her guy all dressed up,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No!” You exclaim a little too quickly, cheeks red. “Why would you say something like that?!”

“Because you’re whipped for him—”

“I am most certainly not—”

Jimin laughs out loud, almost toppling off of his chair. “You know, Y/N, we might have believed you if you weren’t redder than a fucking tomato right now—”

“PARK JIMIN! NOT YOU TOO!”

As luck would have it, you’re a solid ten minutes late.

Call time was at six o’clock, and here you are; slamming the car door shut as you wave a hasty goodbye to your father and run to the main entrance, all the while trying not to get drenched in the rain.

(Your folder and the music inside it are probably already soaked, but that’s an issue for another time.)

You hurry down the stairs, pushing the double doors open with a quick apology to Mrs. Choi, who gives you a stern look but says nothing else. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding as you slide into your seat, already unlatching your case.

“You’re late.”

You twist your neck to give your stand partner a blank stare. “I’m aware.”

“You look really nice,” he blurts out next, blinking faster than usual.

“Thanks?” You try and laugh it off, fastening your shoulder rest to the back of your violin. You’re not wearing anything fancy, just a flowy black dress with your hair tied back, but his remark renders you speechless for a split second “So do you.”

You manage to compliment him nonchalantly, but your heart is beating twice as fast, eyes admiring his parted, fluffy hair, the white dress shirt impeccable on his figure. And his lips…

Shit. You really are down bad, but you don’t have time to dwell on it — Mrs. Choi is starting the last piece already, and you’re scrambling to have your instrument ready by the time the first violins start with their little intro.

Seokjin laughs at you quietly, but inhales sharply when you start to rosin your bow hair. “You kept it,” he says softly, nodding at the block in your hands.

“Yeah,” you swallow, suddenly self-conscious. “I did.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

“I’m not that ungrateful,” you wrinkle your nose at him. “Of course I kept it, Seokjin.”

“Jin.”

“Huh?”

“Jin,” he repeats, flicking a strand of chestnut hair away from his eyes. “That’s what my friends call me.”

“Since when am I your friend?”

“Would you rather not be?”

“Would you rather be?”

Seokjin — Jin, rather — frowns down at you. “Stop asking questions to my questions!”

“You did it first!” you exclaim, laughing. “Hypocrite! Answer mine, then!”

He looks at you for a long moment, like he’s taking his sweet time choosing the right words to say to you. “Since now,” he decides finally, firmly. “You are now. I want you to be mine. My friend,” he clarifies, turning deep red as he says it.

“I thought you hated me,” you muse. “And I was pretty sure you thought I was the lamest kid ever because I couldn’t play a single thing right.”

“Of course not,” Jin shakes his head vehemently. “You’re cool, Y/N. A little tone deaf, but cool.”

“Take that back!”

“I’m sorry, it’s the truth,” he laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.

You send him your best glare, but contrary to your facial expression, it’s nice to laugh with him like this. You’ve been so caught up with telling yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling anything but annoyance when you’re around him that you ignored your blossoming feelings, and now they’ve fully bloomed, leaving no room for that initial irritation you so often experienced.

Friends. It’s not what you most want, but it’s something. You could get used to that.

The concert goes smoothly, and the choir performances were absolutely delightful to watch — but your father is late, again, which means you’re stuck waiting for him out in the rain that hasn’t let up for hours.

You’re about to call him for the fifth time in ten minutes when you hear a set of heavy footsteps behind you, running up the stairway. “Y/N!”

“Jin?” you ask, surprised by the boy making his way toward you, brown hair completely soaked. “What are you doing out here?”

“I lied,” he says breathlessly, like he’s in a rush, and if he doesn’t tell you now, he might never be able to. “I’m sorry, I — I lied, Y/N. I don’t want you to be my friend — God, I don’t think I could live with that. I want you to be more.”

“Jin—”

“I just,” he exhales forcefully, “I want to be able to take you out and hold your hand and hug you and kiss you—”

When your mind finally clears up, you don’t let him finish his sentence, instead grabbing his collar and yanking him down so you can press your lips to his in one swift motion. A quiet gasp leaves his mouth, but he quickly adjusts to the situation, hands dropping his violin so he can gently cradle your face, teeth tugging at your bottom lip. It’s all happening so fast that you barely even have time to think, to properly take it all in.

His lips are cold due to the nasty weather, and you’re both sopping wet — and this is most definitely the worst setting for this to have happened, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“That,” Jin breathes when you finally let him go, pupils dilated, “that was—”

“My first,” you finish. Your prior courage all gone, you’re a bit nervous now, too embarrassed by your bold move to even meet his eyes. What were you thinking? “I-I’m sorry...”

“Sorry?” Jin asks, confused. “Why are you sorry?”

“You know, because… of that.” You can barely speak up, cheeks burning. “I-I don’t know why I did that. Is this — is this a prank or something? Did you plan this? Was I just supposed to laugh it off and threaten to take your eye out with my bow instead?”

“No, no, no,” he shakes his head, laughing. “Can’t you tell, Y/N?” He lowers his voice to a gentle whisper. “I like you, you idiot. Ever since you waltzed into the auditorium sophomore year and nearly broke your violin falling down the stairs, I never stopped thinking about you.”

“You… you like me?” you ask incredulously, jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest. “Like, for real? You’re not just pulling my leg like you usually love to do?”

“I meant what I said, Y/N,” he tells you softly, fingers intertwined with yours. His voice is genuine, soothing. “I want to do all those things with you, if you’ll let me.”

It takes you a while to reply, but when you do, your heart is pounding so loudly in your chest that you can barely hear yourself. “A-And if I said yes?”

A wide grin breaks out onto Jin’s face as he pulls you into a hug, both your instruments forgotten on the pavement and your head resting on his chest as he holds you close. A few days ago, you would have thought yourself a fool for even thinking that a day like this would ever come; yet here you are, all those daydreams come true.

It’s all so new to you, and you’ll most likely screw up along the way — multiple times. But hand in hand with Jin and his vexing ability to pick out a B from a B flat, things aren’t looking so bad.

You’ll work it out.

Hanging out with your friends is always a chaotic (but fun) occurrence — but when you add your boyfriend’s buddies into the mix, it all goes down to shit.

Actually, it’s all his fault, if you really think about it. Why on earth did he think challenging Taehyung to a baking competition was even remotely close to being a good idea?

“That’s so not fucking fair!” the aforementioned best friend cries, angrily shaking a spatula at a playfully grinning Jung Hoseok. “You can’t just hide the bag of flour! I fucking forgot to put it in!”

“Nothing we can do about it now, Tae,” Jimin sighs, massaging his forehead as the three of you stare at the burnt, soupy mass your team has created. “We fucking lost, that’s it.”

“So,” Jin smirks mischievously, nudging your elbow. “I guess Hoseok and I win this one, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you shove him back, though you’re grinning; a plate with a slice of his impeccably made cake in your hands and a fork lifted to your lips. “You’re good at this and you know it. I knew from the start that you were just trying to fuck around with Tae.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Your evil, demonic, deceptive, satanic boyfriend—”

“Nice vocabulary,” Hoseok comments without looking up, and you’re sure he’s on your best friend’s hit list at this point.

“Well — anyways, he’s out to get me,” Taehyung continues, frowning. “I feel attacked.”

“Yeah, okay, keep saying that several years from now when you’re sitting in a church and Y/N’s walking down the aisle,” Jimin says nonchalantly, causing you to choke on your cake in complete shock.

“What the heck — we’re literally eighteen! You can’t — you can’t just say things like that!” you exclaim indignantly, fork clattering against your empty plate. Jin grins widely all of a sudden, tapping your shoulder all of a sudden.

“Jagi.”

“Hmm?” You turn to him, momentarily forgetting how flustered Jimin’s comment made you feel.

“That was a really nice C# just now…”

Your mouth drops open as you gape at your boyfriend; part of you wants to cry and part of you wants to laugh. You knew when you agreed to make it official that somewhere along the line, you’d have to deal with these kinds of things, but now that it’s actually happening…

You turn to Jimin, patience already running thin from Jin’s antics (actually, you secretly love it, though you’ll never admit it to his face.)

“And you have the audacity to suggest that I’ll actually get married to this man?”

“Y/N? Honey, wake up. I… I just realized something.”

“Oh — Jin? What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s good. You know, I was thinking about it, and I realized that...” Your husband bites down on his lip hesitantly, glancing down at the baby sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“Yeah?” you press, curious.

“When Aera cries — you know, when she’s screaming at the top of her lungs,” he smiles fondly. “It’s always — she always cries in either F# or C#. It’s,” he looks like he’s nearing tears, “the D major key. Y/N, she literally cries in D major. I’m—”

You sigh, smiling amusedly to yourself as you snuggle up to him for extra warmth, holding your baby close. Leave it to none other than Kim Seokjin to analyze his daughter’s pitch — isn’t that part of the reason why you fell in love with him, anyway?

Life with Jin is many things — a chaotic mess that includes the constantly screaming light of your lives, three pandemoniac best friends, and far too many notes for you to keep track of. And though sometimes you want to chuck a blue-lidded block of rosin at his head to shut him up, you’re more than ready for it all.

— feedback/questions/just wanna chat?

thank you for reading perfect pitch! ♡

#applejinie #seokjin x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin one shot #jin x reader #jin fluff #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts one shot #rainguk #jin high school au #bts high school au #bts orchestra au #violinist!jin

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moonlightdancer26 · 2 years

Note

How do you see the problematics of what in HP is/isn't considered canon? It is obvious to me why movies are not, because they contradict books in many ways, but why do many opinions differ on things like interviews with JKR, her Twitter statements, official HP website and more?

I too see many of her statements as problematical, but at the same time I understand that many things just didn't fit in the books because of the POV and what was her main plot focus. And even though she probably came up with lot's of those things years after she finished the books, that still doesn't mean it shouldn't be considered canon.

I don’t quite understand the question. Are you asking me if I consider it problematic? If yes, then yeah I do. Rowling does contradict herself and change a few things many times, and it’s very annoying.

Or are you asking me if I consider it canon and what I consider to be canon or not, and how I view it? If yes, then:

I do use “Rowling has stated/said/heavily implied that…” in some of my arguments. I consider what she says after the series ended or what wasn’t in the books canon, unless they don’t make sense, are OOC, or are debunked/contradicted by the actual HP books.

Here’s an example:

J.K. Rowling stated that the real Mad-eye Moody would’ve actually used the Cruciatus Curse in front of Neville, just like Fake Moody did.

My opinion about that: I believe it. Many forget that Fake Moody had to stay in character and act EXACTLY like the real Moody, and no one found his behaviour odd or OOC, same with the ferret fiasco. Plus, even without Fake Moody having to stay in character, it does seem like something the real Moody would do. He’s very harsh and can be quite inconsiderate, I wouldn’t put it past him. (Though I do think the real Moody would not have gone that far.)

J.K. Rowling stated that James changed so Lily would marry him.

Key words: James changed.

My opinion about that: Hell to the no! We’re flat out told in the text that James only pretended to change and went behind Lils’ back so she would get with him. It’s straight up contradicted in the text, so no.

I hope that answered your question! Have a great day!

#canon #contradictions #the author #harry potter #hp

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fact-fictionx · 3 years

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What is your ranking of the Bridgerton books and why? 🙂

ohhh so side note, this changes a lot, and I read all the books a bit ago and sometimes have a memory of a goldfish and have been meaning to read them all again, so you could ask me this question tomorrow and some of them may change (like the bottom 4 anyway). and like I may just have things in my head that haven't actually happened (or happened in fic) so sorry...

For this, no1 is my favourite, no8 my least.

1. An Offer from a Gentleman - I mean, you expected this right? You had to. I love the fluffy fairytale nature of it, I think it shows some real nice character growth, and I am just in love with Benedict Bridgerton, so what? sue me.

2. Its In His Kiss - now a lot of people (from what I've seen) don't really rate this book and I DO NOT KNOW WHY. Lady Danbury is an absolute boss babe, her relationship with Hyacinth is amazing, I love how both Gareth and Hyacinth just are way too focused on their lil spy mission and then there's love. Like it hooked me, I loved it to bits.

3. The Viscount Who Loved Me - I think this was a really emotional book for me, and I love a good 'enemies to lovers' tbf. Ofc there are some issues but overall, I really loved it, again, I was hooked. I read it in maybe a day? and I'm sure I even screamed at Anthony because he is an absolute idiot. It's definitely one I would want to read multiple times.

4. To Sir Phillip With Love - This one broke me. Like broke me. It was so emotional, and funny, and I just really loved it. I loved the story, the growth, I love Phillip.

5. When He Was Wicked - It took me a while to actually get into this book, but once I did, I couldn't put it down. I really enjoyed the story (and the sex was pretty hot too tbf) and I ugh it also made me super emotional when they're at John's grave I... cries.

6. On The Way To The Wedding - I love Gregory the stupid boy, it was exciting, but like I knew the majority what was going to happen from the prologue which damped it a bit for me, and other books pulled me a bit more than this one.

7. Romancing Mr Bridgerton - I liked the book, but only because I actively forget the 'transformation' Penelope goes through. I think there's moments where Colin isn't the Colin he is in other books which really threw me, and although I enjoyed it, there are others that I enjoyed more.

8. The Duke and I - Other than the problematic scene with Daphne and Simon, after reading all the books, this is the one that I least want to go back and read. When I read it, I enjoyed it, but it wouldn't bother me if I never picked it up again.

sorry if you wanted more of an explanation, but 1 I dont want to spoil the books, and 2 I suffer from raging anxiety and want to currently fact-check everything I've just written about these books which obviously is very time consuming, so if I wrote more I'd be on the floor lol.

#asks #Bridgerton #long post

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galsinspace · 2 years

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Who is the cringe and problematic man who you own??

See I said I'll never tell but I'm weak to questions so I'll tell you.

Once upon a time I played Fallout 3. It was one of the first video games I ever played and it was a really immersive and emotional experience, and in this video game I met a little boy named Arthur Maxson. He was shy and kinda sad, hid comic books under his bed and wrote lil stories on his terminal, had a crush on Sarah Lyons (very relatable to me), and he was so lonely he tried to befriend a giant war robot. In my heart I immediately adopted him. I knew he was in Fallout 4 too but I all I knew about that was that he was like, a grizzled older guy with a beard.

Then I actually played Fallout 4 and my sweet little boy was a huge dick with a whooping case of sci fi racism. Just awful! He says cringe things like how a robot man "wasn't born from the womb of a loving mother" and he's basically a fascist. My beloved flawed faction the Brotherhood of Steel was generally warped beyond recognition from any of its prior appearances in the series.

Sooooooooo I just kind of ignore that. I own this cringe and problematic man and his cringe and problematic faction. In my mind there's a version where the dude is actually a 20 year old struggling with shouldering too much responsibility and not having had a normal childhood, and the BoS isn't completely divorced from the BoS in Fo3.

This isn't something that's easy to admit to because liking the BoS is shunned in some circles of Fallout fans because they see them as equivalent to the US military, something I reject as the canonical backstory of the faction is that it was formed in reaction to discovering human rights abuses of that very military. Also generally shitting on Fallout 3 is popular in large part because of that hbomberguy video, a video that makes a lot of good points but also has some glaring blind spots - specifically in regards to the BoS, the appearance of which in that game is completely dismissed as Just Not Right without exploring any of the actual story there. (Side point but it's still pretty wild to me how that video manages to sing the praises of the original Fallout for telling such a good story with so many little indicators while completely ignoring the little indicators that tell stories in Fallout 3 as well. I could talk about subtle storytelling in Fallout 3 a lot.)

So yeah my cringe and problematic man is Arthur Maxson. He sucks. He's my little boy and my exploration of teenagers becoming adults under pressure. Fallout 4 is a bad video game

#anon #ask #i've written fic about that time he killed a deathclaw with a combat knife when he was 12 #it's mostly about how he watched his protectors die in front of him and he had to step up to fight for his life #against something these adults had been powerless against #and how this traumatic experience was passed around as a heroic story and how this shaped his impression of who he needed to be

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luciferloser · 4 years

Text

Brothers reacting to a parent MC

as always the reader is GN

Lucifer

When you first arrived in the Devildom with a small child resting on your hip, Lucifer was one of, if not, the most composed out of the brothers. Paying no mind to the toddler that was burying their face into your neck, he began his speech about you being selected for Diavolo’s programme and your upcoming year in the Devildom.

When you moved into the House of Lamentation, you discovered that everything the miniature version of you needed had already been provided. “If anything is missing, please, do not hesitate to ask for it. While your child may not technically be a student here, they are still going to be provided for during your stay here.” Lucifer declared, standing tall in the doorway.

“Ah, no I think everything I need is here, thank you Lucifer...” you trailed off as you noticed your child had made their way over to said demon, and was using his leg as a climbing frame.

Glancing down at the toddler, he looked to you as went to pick them up, silently asking for your permission. When he received the nod of approval, he picked up your child and rested them against his hip. “Let’s hope you’re a lot less problematic than the last child in this house was.” he mused, already spotting the similarities between you and your child.

Mammon

Glancing at the strange men in front of you, your baby nuzzled their head even further into your neck than they already were. Leaping up from his seat, Mammon shouted “Oi! I thought we already had a human student, so why’s there two over there?”

After Diavolo introduced himself and all the other formalities were out of the way, Mammon soon realised the baby in your arms was nowhere near old enough to be a student at RAD and was a mini version of you that had to be even more protected than you were.

“So, what can the lil one do, anyways?” Mammon asked, as he sat down on the edge of your bed, eyeing the baby in the cot warily.

“Honestly? Not much because they’re only a few months old, although they’re getting pretty good at rolling onto their back!” you chuckled, looking fondly at your child.

“Huh, doesn’t sound that impressive to me. When Satan was a few days old, he was already shattering windows with his scream. But either way, can we make money from it?” taking one look at your alarmed face, he scrambled to add “Aha I’m just kidding! The Great Mammon wouldn’t dream of putting the little tyke in danger!”

There was certainly never going to be a dull moment with Mammon around...

Leviathan

It wasn’t until you had moved into the House of Lamentation that Levi even realised you had a child. During your induction, he was too busy playing a newly released game on his DDD to even notice the small human clutching at your clothes. When you first received the text from the otaku; telling you to come to his room, you asked if it was okay for you to bring your child along while you got used to your new home.

Now, when you said child, Leviathan assumed you had a pet or something, because that’s what normies call their pets, right? So imagine the poor boy’s surprise when you had a two-foot-tall lookalike standing beside you.

“OMG this is just like that anime I watched ‘My new housemate has a tiny doppelganger and they’re both from a different realm!’” He exclaimed in delight, tugging the both of you into his room. “But anyways, that’s not what’s important right now, I called you here for a specific reason, so come in before people start to think I like being associated with not just one, but TWO normies!”

Maybe this otaku has a soft spot for normies after all.

Satan

Taking in the sight of you with a child clinging onto you like a koala, Satan on the outside didn’t show much of a reaction. However, internally, he was rather excited. All of his brothers had a hand in raising him, but he didn’t have anybody to return the favour for. He has also read a few parenting books so he’d like to think he’ll be able to provide some assistance.

“Oh sweetie please stop crying, there’s nothing to worry about. Nothing’s going to get you in the night, not while I’m here.” You were currently in the process of trying to put your child to bed in your new home, however, your child had other ideas.

Hearing a knock at the door, you winced when you saw Satan stood their with ruffled hair, in his nightwear. Preparing for the scolding you were about to receive from the Avatar of Wrath, the string of apologies died in your throat when Satan breezed past you to kneel beside your child, where they had flopped in their bed in their tantrum.

“Hey kiddo, having trouble sleeping?” He muttered to you child, smiling gently when they nodded, rubbing their eyes. “Well, how about a bedtime story, unless of course you’re too old for them?” chuckling lightly at their sudden change in demeanor, Satan sat down on the floor by their head. “Well then, buckle up because this one used to knock me out like a light when I was a kid.” With that, the blonde began his story about a powerful angel and his 5 brothers’ fall from the Celestial realm. Your child wasn’t the only one who thought the bed time story was immensely interesting.

Asmodeus

After the light faded away and the demons took in the sight before them, Asmo was the first to react. Squealing in delight at the small child resting in your arms, the Avatar of Lust was awestruck. “Oh my Diavolo they’re almost as cute as me!”

Clutching your child imperceptibly closer to you at the strange man’s outburst, you questioned where you were and who each of the men in front of you were. After recovering from the initial shock of the situation you now found yourself in, you were still quite hesitant to hand your child over to the man who introduced himself as Asmodeus.

It took nearly a month before you trusted the Lust demon enough to let your toddler spend time alone with him unsupervised. However, after your child came back from their first shopping trip together, you couldn’t deny that your baby had never looked so happy before. Smiling down at your beaming child, you cooed “Okay, what did Asmodeus treat you to?”

At that question, your toddler and Asmo wasted no time in tugging you into his room to show you all the amazing outfits the pair had bought. You had no doubts that your child was going to be the best dressed child the Devildom had ever seen.

Beelzebub

Because his dinner had been cut short for this council meeting, Beelzebub had food on his mind even more so than usual. As a result, he couldn’t help it when he blurted out “ooh snack time” when he spotted the baby in your arms that was swaddled up in their favourite blanket. Gasping at the tall demon in fright, you quickly hid your baby against your chest. No matter how big he was, he certainly wasn’t going to make a snack out of your child.

Unsurprisingly, Beelzebub wasn’t your first choice when it came to a babysitter for a while. However, after your bedroom wall was destroyed and you and your baby had to stay with Beelzebub while it was being repaired, you realised just how family-oriented the redheaded demon truly is.

Your baby was now at the age where their lungs have the capability of waking the dead, or in your case, a rather large demon. Before you could even finish wiping the sleep from your eyes, Beel was already up and beside the cot where your baby lay. Fearing the worst, your parental instincts went into overdrive. Yet, just as you were about to leap to your child’s rescue, you paused at the sound of Beel’s soft murmuring.

“Hey there, you really are tiny aren’t you? But for someone so small you sure can produce a lot of noise huh? As much as your screams don’t bother me, I’m sure the person who spent all day looking after you would like some rest now, okay? Tell you what, if we both go back to sleep now, we might wake up early enough to have a pre-breakfast snack! How’s that sound?”

It was at that moment, you realised that if a demon that large can pacify your child with his words alone, he must have a pretty big heart.

Belphegor

Belphegor didn’t meet your child when the rest of his brothers did. Because of that, he tried to avoid you and the toddler that was never too far behind you. That wasn’t the only reason Belpie kept his distance from you, he felt guilty for what he did to you. Even though you had already told him you had forgiven him, he was afraid the same thing would happen to your child not that he would ever do so deliberately.

The first time he was left alone with the miniature version of you, he was taking a nap in the lounge. He opened his eyes to see two large doe eyes looking straight at him. Jumping slightly, he sat up and mumbled “where’s MC?”

“Gone shopping with Uncle Luci.” the toddler stated, raising their arms at him “Can I nap with you? Your brother’s told me you like to nap.”

“Uncle Luci, huh. I thought kids hated nap time?” Belpegor quizzed, tilting his head slightly.

“I dunno. I’m tired and you always are.” your child shrugged stepping closer to the tired demon.

“I mean, you’re not wrong, kid. Come on then, let’s take a nap.” Belphie smiled pulling the tiny human on top of him and tugging the blanket over the top of them both.

You came home about an hour later, to find the two curled up on the sofa together. Who says sleep doesn’t help people to bond?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

will post a second part soon for the undateables because my mind is already simping over Barbatos with a child 🥴🖤

#obey me lucifer #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me imagines #obey me #obey me shall we date

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hubblebubblehub · 4 years

Text

yona 197 thoughts

Firstly, behold. I am alive. This chapter honestly made my brain malfunction for a good minute or so, I legit had something akin to a stroke. I honestly believe this chapter encapsulates what has gone wrong with Yona’s storytelling. I understand this is a ‘memoir’, but even backstories whose existence is to deliver exposition require decent consistent characterisation, and a balanced mixture of ‘show don’t tell’ mixed with foreshadowing to result in something... bearable. This chapter was legitimately almost unbearable to read because I think Kusa herself has lost the plot.

To organise my thoughts Imma just put some lil subheadings.

Yon-hi

You know what? Ever since chapter 190 I realised that Yon-hi didn’t have much of a character other than that of an exposition clown. So this lame wrap up on her character was bearable to read, because it’s not as if she had the potential to be anything more than a ye old exposition dump. It’s still frustrating to read her ‘acknowledge’ her own faults, which also make no sense since we haven’t seen a proper build up in a change of thoughts. Yes, she acknowledged her husband was a brute to a certain extent, but apart from this chapter I don’t see her recognising the IMPORTANCE of her position and how her passiveness is stopping her from wielding more influence to prevent tragedy that so clearly hurts her. Sure, she notices that as a country bumpkin amongst nobles she stands out, but even 10 years after the genocide of the priests she never once confronted her husband about it. Or anyone really. Why the change of heart now? The excuse that her husband and Kashi (whom she wasn’t really friends with in the first place?? Honestly I think she was just attached to her out of guilt for what happened) are dead doesn’t explain why she would suddenly have the urge to take some sort of action since the past decade proves she thrives in complacency.

Additionally her relo with her son... I don’t even understand it anymore. She claims she loves Soo-Won but then she writes a letter to her brother-in-law basically asking him to ‘watch out for him’ like MA’AM HE IS YOUR SON. What happened to the role she devoted herself to, as a MOTHER?? I honestly give up trying to understand it.

Oh boi. I thought Yon-hi and Yu-hon had an awful characterisation but Il really takes the cake. I thought I could accept Il’s cowardice since it his duality has been hinted at throughout the whole manga, but honestly it makes close to no sense here. I’m surprised no-one decided to assassinate him the first few years into his reign. I would’ve done it tbh.

This chapter just brings more questions into his passive nature. Why the HELL did he just sit and wait around for something to happen after hearing about the future? Yes, as a religious devotee, he probably accepted the future as fact, but why didn’t he do ANYTHING about it? It seems like he banned weapons out of guilt of his murder, not to actually stop Soo-Won (since he ‘accepted’ that destiny of dying by his nephew’s hands).

If he knew that Yona would not only face hardship from her position as a reincarnation, but her own freaking family, why didn’t he take counter measures? I don’t understand why he wouldn’t try to empower her so that when he would eventually leave her, she would be able to take care of herself. His attitude to Soo-Won also makes no sense too. If he already accepted he would die by his hand, why didn’t he ban/prevent him from visiting the castle? And if he already accepted his fate, why didn’t he just let the marriage go through anyway? He could clearly see that Soo-Won didn’t detest Yona and would care for her, Yona would be happy with him (provided the murder wouldn’t happen lmfao).

Oh and also, if he knew all these shitty events were going to happen? What was his excuse for not taking care of the country, leaving more than hundreds to starve, live in poverty and die? ‘I’m a placeholder and my brother must not become King. Also I leave everything to the gods’ divine will because I’m a really great religious follower uwu’. Not ‘I’ll properly communicate with my brother, nephew and court to make this country a better place while I’m here to prevent the mistakes of the past.’ He acknowledges he’s not a great King. Why doesn’t he acknowledge and humble himself asking for advice from his advisors. Like whAT

Il & Kashi

Poor Kashi lmfao. Kusa in this chapter really trying to convince us they had a loving relationship and Il was simply just trying to avenge his wife. Sure, let’s say Il did love Kashi. He did a really awful way of expressing it, to the point Kashi genuinely believed he only married her to make the designer baby that is Yona. And I don’t see proof of otherwise tbh. I guess you could argue that Il & Kashi had some chemistry during the garden scene with Ik-Soo... but also Kashi was a ‘kid’ apparently so call the FBI lmfao. There are honestly no scenes or buildup that convince me that Il loved Kashi without the involvement of the divine. Kashi, maybe. I think she admired him but I see none of that from Il. Even when he flat out murders his brother, his defense isn’t ‘YO THAT WAS MY WIFE YOU JUST MURDEREDDD’ It was ‘THAT WAS THE MOTHER OF THE RED DRAGON’. I think these are self explanatory.

Also to that anti-Soo-Won translator who was saying how this line by Il basically disproves everyone who thought he didn’t love Kashi- it really doesn’t. If anything it just shows how terrible the writing has been for this arc because it’s nowhere near believable enough to accept as truth. Show me scenes where Il is actually.... showing affection and being in a loving and equal relationship with his wife smh

Romance

Il’s reliance on ‘love’ also makes no sense as well, and also highlights how problematic romance is in this series. Considering how ‘girl power’ this series is with Kouren, Lili & her bodyguards, Yona and even Kashi to a certain extent, it makes no sense that Il would choose to leave everything to a man who simply ‘loves Yona and will never betray her’. Like,,, did the events that transpired TEACH HIM NOTHING??

Sure only men can become Kings but it seems Queens have a significant position as well. And since Yona is the red dragon... wouldn’t like,, everyone know and respect and hold her on a higher level regardless lmfao like WHAT IS IL THINKING?? He knows that Yona ended up as a superficial spoilt princess as she grew older, but what did he do to rectify that?? n o t h i n g, except attempt to throw another man (Hak) to help solve the (future) problem.

A great grey point this manga has made since the beginning of the series is ‘Prioritising one individual will cause an entire Kingdom to fall to ruin’. So this is why I don’t understand Il’s actions. Yu-hon committed genocide for his wife, whom he loved (also a really poorly built up romance but this chapter ain’t about them), and APPARENTLY murdered Kashi too (dang it... such a weak and predictable outcome, I’m disappointed in you Kusa). Il killing Yu-hon caused Soo-Won & all the Yuhon stans to seek vengeance (although he also did kinda murder him for the sake of Kouka, but nonetheless her adored his father). SO WHY ON EARTH DOES IL THINK LOVE FROM ANOTHER PERSON IS GONNA SAVE HIS DAUGHTER. MAYBE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE ROYAL DAMN FAMILY.

Also just because Hak clearly was devoted to and had affection for Yona, did not mean that Yona would feel the same way, which is arguably is ANOTHER IMPORTANT FACTOR IN A RELATIONSHIP. It seems like Il doesn’t give a damn about his freaking daughter honestly. But maybe who knows, Il has 500 IQ and decided to be passive so Yona would develop feelings for Hak. It was all part of his master plan, while he left most of his kingdom to suffer, no biggie.

Writing

This was such a painful arc to read. I swear Kusa tried to engage her fanbase by constantly making plot twists every chapter. Yu-hon is a good guy. SIKE he’s not. SIKE Il is kind of worse. SIKE Yu-hon bad and should never be one the throne. Il is an okay guy. SIKE he’s borderline religiously fanatic. SIKE Yuhon the crazy one. SIKE Il weird af because he marries Kashi to have baby dragon Yona. SIKE he actually loved Kashi he just DiDn’t MAkE HiS FeElings KnoWn.

Honestly that doesn’t even cover how inconsistent other characters like Yon-hi are either. Bleugh

Predictions for 198?

Maybe Yona will take it upon herself to rectify the wrongs done and pull herself together. Perhaps also do something more substantial than have a deus ex machina bunch of books deliver to information right into her hands. Also maybe show what Soo-Won thinks of this memoir? Surely he’s read it... if he hasn’t then like bye. This series is honestly breaking my heart with every monthly update I swear.

///might rant more later

#akatsuki no yona #akatsuki no yona manga #akatsuki no yona spoilers #akayona ch 197 #ch 197 #akatsuki no yona 197 #yona ch 197 #yona 197 #rants #akayona rants #i have to study for my midsems but this chapter really made me mad lol

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1990jeevas · 3 years

Note

hi hello i dont think we have talked b4 but i would love 2 hear ur craig ND headcanonz :))

hehe hello!! thank you for the asks!! here's my ND craig headcanons aka me projecting onto one of my kins :>

note? ig: im diagnosed with adhd buuuut i probably also have undiagnosed autism and idk how to separate those symptoms tbh so im not gonna be too specific about what's what ig. this truly will just be Pure Projection soooo

let's go!

-was absolutely that one kid growing up that got either "never applies himself" or "has good grades, but issues with socialization" on report cards

-bad at making and maintaining friendships :/

-school probably tested him and was like "yeah there is something here but we arent gonna diagnose bc that means we have to give him Actual Accommodations" and then stuck him in SPED classes which just got him bullied ajsksk

-has bad sensory issues with like. the feeling of skin and the sound of like silverware on plates, it literally makes him wanna peel his skin off. there's other ones obvs but those ones are the worst

-sensory overload makes him incredibly agitated or just downright pissed. gets very snippy but doesn't yell bc yelling feels Weird and he doesn't like it

-cant wear more than 2 layers, cant sleep with more than one thin blanket, it makes him feel like he's being suffocated and having his movement restricted

-always stimming but pretty good at making it unnoticeable, has a lot of normalized stims like playing with rubber bands, leg bouncing nail tapping, cracking knuckles, etc.

-but when he isnt trying to hide it? ohhh boy is he a loud motherfucker, very into stims that involve noise like rolling his r's, doin lil brr sounds, clickn buttons on like remotes and stuff, etc.

-not very good at masking tbh

-mmm echolalia galore

-flappy hands!! lots of flappy hands :]

-stims by hitting the balls of his hands/wrists together repeatedly, is probably one of his most used stims

-has like. harmful stims when he's upset or in pain? like hitting himself, scratching himself, etc.

-has lil dancey stims but only really does them in private or around close friends

-so flipping people off is already basically a stim in canon lbr but imagine he starts doing 👉👈 as a joke and then it just becomes a Default Stim. he jus be standing there and outta nowhere he's goin 👉👈 while having a completely normal conversation

-very bad at reading tone and social cues but he just wont admit it. refuses to ask questions either. leads to a lot of bad situations but he'd rather die than ask for clarification

-if you don't tell him exactly what to do he will just kinda. be confused. like you need to give him a step by step tutorial otherwise he will not do something very obvious on his own just incase he's wrong

-low empathy my beloathed /hj

-uhhh pls dont put him in a situation to comfort someone he will say and do all the wrong things even if he's trying his best

-red racer hyperfixation <3 guinea pig hyperfixation <3

-the most dry texter known to man bc he refuses to have important conversations over text due to Lack Of Tone Indication (his friends would be an exception bc tone indicators pog but still greatly prefers irl)

-its the having multiple swears as stimmy words for me /hj

-walks while leaning on the outside of his feet more than having them like. level? if that makes sense. similar to toe walking but like on the sides of the feet

-dont ask him to read a book he'll either hyperfixate or end up rereading the same page over and over again bc he retained nothing

-very blunt but he's not trying to be mean he just has literally no idea how to Not talk like that

-does a lil high picthed mm sound when happy flapping and usually rocks back and forth with it :]

-will be in the middle of the test and you'll just hear him softly muttering "bonk. bonk. bonk. bonk. bon-"

-that ^ or bababooey

-basically any tiktok sound he hates turns into a stim at some point

-has a playlist just titled "neurodivergent moment" bc he's that kind of person. the first song on it is the home of 47, followed by stupid mf (idk if the person who made the home of 47 ((trolleycat)) can reclaim the r slur but it's used a good amount in the song, stupid mf is just blatantly ableist tho lol)

-*info dumps by tearing apart his favorite media and then gets offended when a NT does the exact same thing*

-calls things ableist when they dont go his way

-has a lot of oral stims like give him anything he can chew on and he will fucking destroy it unless it's made to be chewed

-*sees strings on hat* *sticks end in mouf* *complains when its soaking wet 2 minutes later*

-hyperfixates on a lot of problematic media so he has become the most critical ass mfer when it comes to the shit he consumes

-sometimes he just. screams. bc he can. and he feels the need to.

-has rsd but shhh he'll never discuss it

#shit self #asks #craig tucker #south park #headcanons #kinz #long post #swearing

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strangeandforlornbooks · 4 years

Text

best books with morally ambiguous narrators!

all y’all’s problematic faves and villains! :) also included are third person narrators but in books with morally ambiguous leads/themes

Sci-fi

Scythe by Neal Shusterman: in a future free from pain, disease, and war, people can live forever. ‘scythes’ are given the power to decide who lives and who dies to preserve the balance. sad and kinda gives of hunger games vibes, if you like that.

Neuromancer by William Gibson: basically invented the cyberpunk genre. strange and removed protagonists. (a team of computer hackers have to face off against an evil AI). you kind of dislike everyone and suddenly you’re crying over them. one of those trippy sci-fi classics.

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut: very beautiful and very very sad (same author as slaughterhouse five). the richest man in america has to face a martian invasion. more about free will and bad people doing good things than a plot that makes any kind of sense.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick: set in an alternate universe where the germans and japanese won world war two. not really like the tv show at all- it’s not an action story, and there’s not really the hope to somehow fix the world that drives a lot of dystopia stories. instead its about how people survive and connect to one another in a hopeless society.

The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow: a supercomputer convinces the leaders of the world to keep the peace for hundreds of years by taking their children hostage and obliterating any city that disobeys. what happens to the hostage protagonists when war seems inevitable? lots of morally fraught decisions and characters slowly losing their identity. (plus a fun lesbian romance)

Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson: a brilliant mathematician and a dedicated marine fight to keep the ultra secret in world war two. fifty years later, a tech company discovers what remains of their story. one of the most memorable sequences in the book is a japanese soldier slowly becoming disillusioned with his nation and horrified by the war even as he continues to fight.

Blade Runner by Philip K. Dick: another one of those sci-fi classics that’s not at all like the movie. there is a bounty hunter for robots, though, as well as a weird religion that probably is referencing catholicism and a decaying society with a shortage of pets. kind of a trip.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power: girls trapped in a boarding school on an isolated island must face a creeping rot that affects the animals and plants on the island as well as their own bodies. the protagonists will do anything to survive and keep each other safe. very tense (and bonus lesbian romance whoo)

The Fifth Season by N K Jemisin: three women are gifted with the ability to control the earth’s energy in a world where those who can do so are forced into hiding or slavery. some veryyyy dark choices here but lots of strong female characters.

Historical Fiction

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters: two victorian lesbians fall in love as they plot to betray each other in horrific ways. lots of plot twists, plucky thieves, gothic settings, and a great romance.

Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiwicz: a powerful roman soldier in the time of Nero plots to kidnap a young woman after he falls in love with her, only to learn more about the mysterious christian religion she follows. very melodramatic but some terrific prose.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr: a blind girl in France and a brilliant German boy recruited by the military struggle through the chaos of the second world war. ends with a bang (iykyk.) very sad, reads like poetry.

Boxers by Gene Luen Yang: graphic novel reveals the story of a young boy fighting in the boxer rebellion in early twentieth century china. the sequel, saints, is also excellent. beautifully and sympathetically shows the protagonist’s descent into evil- the reader really understands each step along the way.

Fantasy

Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake: three triplets separated at birth, each with their own magical powers, have to fight to the death to gain the throne. lots of fun honestly

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo: everyone in these books is highly problematic but you love them all anyway. a ragtag game of criminals plan a heist on a magical fortress. some terrific tragic back stories, repressed feelings, and revenge schemes.

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King: idk how to describe these frankly but if you can put up with King’s appalling writing of female characters they’re pretty interesting. fantasy epic about saving the world/universe, sort of. cowboys and prophecies and overlapping dimensions and drug addicts galore.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud: lots of fun! a twelve year old decides to summon a demon for his cute lil revenge scheme. sarcastic demon narrator. lighthearted until s*** gets real suddenly.

Elegy and Swansong by Vale Aida: fantasy epic with machiavellian lesbians and enemies to lovers to enemies to ??? to lovers. charming and exciting and lovely characters.

The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen: an orphan boy must compete with a few others for the chance to impersonate a dead prince. really dark but very tense and exciting and good twists.

The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu: fantasy epic. heroes overthrow an evil empire and then struggle as the revolution dissolves into warring factions. interesting world building and three dimensional characters, even if they only have a small part.

Circe by Madeline Miller: the story behind the witch who turns men into pigs in the odyssey. madeline miller really said, i just used my classics degree to write a beautiful gay love story and now im going to write a powerful feminist retelling because i can. queen. an amazing and satisfying book that kills me a lil bit because of the two lines referencing the song of achilles.

Heartless by Marissa Meyer: the tragic backstory for the queen of hearts in alice in wonderland. a little predictable but very fun with a compelling protagonist

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) by George RR Martin: ok I know we all hate GRRM and rightfully so but admittedly these books do have some great characters and great scenes. they deserve better than GRRM though. also he will probably never finish the books anyway....

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket: not really fantasy but not really anything else either. plucky, intelligent, and kind children fight off evil plots for thirteen books until suddenly you realize the world is not nearly as black and white as you thought.

Classics

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: gothic romance!! a new wife is curious about the mysterious death of her predecessor in a creepy old house in the British countryside...good twists and lovely prose.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles: not really morally ambiguous but one awful decision suddenly has awful consequences and certain people are haunted by guilt forever.... really really really beautiful and really really really sad. boys in a boarding school grow up together under the shadow of world war two.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy: while imperial russia slowly decays a beautiful young woman begins a destructive affair. a long book. very russian. the ending is incredibly tense and well written.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding: I think you know the plot to this one. the prose is better than you remember and the last scene is always exciting.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie: one by one, the guests on an island are slowly picked off. one of Christie’s darkest mysteries- no happy ending here! very tense and great twists.

Contemporary

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: inspired the whole dark academia aesthetic. college students get a little too into ancient greece and it does not end very well. lovely prose but I found the characters unlikable.

Honorable Mentions

The Dublin Saga by Edward Rutherford: has literally a billion protagonists, but some of them are morally ambiguous ig? follows a few families stories’ from the 400s ad to irish independence in the 20s. beautifully captures the weight and movement of irish history.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer: how morally ambiguous can you be if you’re, like, eleven? a lot if you’re a criminal genius who wants to kidnap a fairy for your evil-ish plan apparently!

Redemption by Leon Uris: literally my favorite novel ever. the sequel to Trinity but can stand alone. various irish families struggle through the horrors of world war one. the hero isn’t really morally ambiguous, but the main theme of the novel is extremely bad people suddenly questioning their choices and eventually redeeming themselves. sweeping themes of love, screwed up families, redemption, and patriotism.

The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolo by Dorothy Dunnett: heroes redeem themselves/try to get rich/try to save their country in early renaissance Europe. if I actually knew what happened in these books I'm sure it would be morally ambiguous but its too confusing for me. in each book you spend at least a third convinced the protagonist is evil, though. lots of exciting sword fights, tragic romances, plot twists, and kicking english butt.

Bonus: Protagonist is less morally ambiguous and more very screwed up and sad all the time

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt: you know this one bc its quoted in all those quote compilations. basically the story of how one horrible event traumatizes a young man and how he develops a connection to a painting. really really really good.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro: hard to describe but strange... not an action novel or a dystopia really but sort of along those lines. very hopeless.

#book recs #morally ambiguous protagonists #dark academia #book recommendations #mine

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