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#it truly is just making me get worse and worse mentally
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sometimes I think about how Lily is portrayed in some jegulus fics. Not all mind you, just some.
How sometimes it's depicted, or at least reads, as though James loses interest suddenly and switches to Regulus as his object of affection. Sure, Lily isn't actually into James in the fic but what it must do to her mentally. The boy who's been chasing you since the start has seemingly lost interest out of nowhere? Sure, it's often depicted as though for the past year/half a year that James has been treating her as a person, but I feel as though that's worse??? Like you start learning about me as a friend, the real me, and suddenly the interest you had was lost??? That would make me spiral so hard. Like what about my personality was so hard to love that even the boy who's been annoyingly chasing me since I was 11 doesn't want me after he gets to actually know me? Was it actually just a way to make fun of me for all these years? ect, ect
idk all this to say I prefer when jily is either in the past or it's a slow gradual thing or literally anything else other than if minor onesided (or not) jily is included at all James' interest in Lily being the equivalent of a light switch. I've seen it far too often and while yes, if in the fic Lily wasn't interested in him at all it was seen as a good thing, but I truly think Lily's feelings would be a little more mixed.
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spikeface · 3 months
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Based on (x).
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honeykyeom · 1 month
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hey! please don’t do this!
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rosicheeks · 25 days
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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pussy-ache · 11 months
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#bpd#could be trauma. could be an overproduction of cortisol affecting my pituitary gland#and it’s a catch 22 for me because (if i truly have BPD) i can’t accurately assess my behaviors#like. i’d like to THINK i’m not a manipulative person but what if i am? how can i trust that i haven’t been fooling myself?#and hurting other people in the process?#but i also don’t like being the center of attention. but maybe i’m manipulative in worse ways#i also fit everything for regular BPD. not just the impulsive subtype#like i do actually believe i have this the vast majority of the time. there’s just not much that can be done#it’s like … ‘’here’s this awful terrible personality disorder. you got it. it’s a list of shit that makes you an awful person. have fun!’’#like it’s not something that i can personally investigate very often#so many studies i’ve read conclude with shit like ‘’yea this group of people sucks just like we thought. can’t trust them & there’s no cure#and i’m terrified to even ask for medical help anyway cuz it’s also one of the most stigmatized mental disorders to be diagnosed with#right up there on the same level of stigmitization that schizophrenia gets — which also runs in my family incidentally#and my family members who developed it did so in their 30s-50s …. symptoms didn’t start until super late#consistently afraid of my own mind and personality with nowhere to turn. i can’t subject that on anyone.#which proves the inabilily to retain long lasting meaningful relationships correct#i have a history of dipping early#and i’ve been called cold and distant in a relationship. i retain too much independence.#superficial stings a little#all my life it’s like ‘’wow i feel a lot. i might be an empath’’#and in reality it’s ‘’no actually. i have a personality disorder that amounts to me being an overbearing crappy person that feels a lot.’’#here’s some studies that prove that#i’m just a very. very. very. tired person#sigh
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plotwholls · 2 years
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Me, every time I feel out of control: haha wanna see how long I can not sleep?
#Ik it’s horrible but I literally don’t have other coping methods#trying to fall asleep is like my brain cells made driving me nuts a competition#so as much as I *LOVE* sleep#getting to sleep is a whole ass battle and when ur parents turn one of your rare decisions to get help into THEIR decision?#the other day my dad forced me to eat and ever since I’ve been forcing down gag reflexes to drink water#it’s not like… a stubbornness thing#I’m not doing this because “well you said I should so not I won’t >:[”#it’s more like my parents refuse to acknowledge I’m an adult but then do specific things to “treat me as an adult”#except it’s stuff like trying to control how I get my driver’s license but they won’t help me fill out a fafsa even though I need their info#and like#my parents are genuinely incredible#I could’ve landed way worse parents#but they CONSTANTLY try to gaslight me and it’s fucking infuriating#like I am CONSTANTLY playing bsf to my mom in the middle of a conversation where she was treating me like I’m five#and then she’ll do things like pay for things that I don’t need and didn’t really want and it’ll be $600#but when I want to make an investment in something I think would be beneficial to my life she’s like “do you think I’m made of money??”#and the thing is $50#that’s not even getting into my “gaslighting and guilt tripping ur child isn’t abuse it’s parenting” father#I truly love them but if they keep this shit up I AM going to loose my shit#whether that means I go no-contact or just check into a mental hospital is undetermined
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yamikawas · 2 years
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ok but literally anyone else who likes yoomtah too much should die.Lol
ps: girl i went so insane i hit max tags before i was even done typing.
#going on twitter to search for more images of her and being reminded that other people like her and getting violent abt it hashtag girl#full offense but you are never going to even come CLOSE to loving her the way i do you dont even deserve to LOOK at her ^_^#bet yoomtah would shock you to death with a million volts to the head for trying to get in between us lol#(''you'' referring to the people i want dead for liking yoomtah not to the person reading this JSYK)#but like seriously why cant people just get that shes MINE and just shut up and draw her without saying weird crap#bro shes taken she would literally kill you for trying to get in between us the only one who she wants to cuddle and hold hands with is ME#her and i are at a point where we seriously know we're gonna get married and you STILL have the nerve to say things like that about her???#SHE'S TAKEN SHE'S IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WE'RE PRACTICALLY ENGAGED HAVE YOU CONSIDERED DYING IN A DITCH AND GOING TO HELL#like what the hell is your problem are you somehow not aware that she is already mine. that i'm the one who truly loves her.#like what do i gotta do to drill it into your ignorant brains#SH TW /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// do i need to carve her name into my skin to prove it. Lol#i could!!! i really could!!! i bet no one else would do that for her!!! it would prove everything she means to me!!!#would you finally leave her alone then??? would that prove how much i need her??? would you finally let me have her all to myself???#but she wouldnt want to see me hurt. and if she Did then thatd make me feel even worse. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#but i'm not about to hurt someone else irl to prove myself so what other option do i have#but also that'd require posting sh pics to prove it and well guess what happened to my old vent blogs when i posted sh pics -_-#ok if ur reading this and genuinely worried for my safety or something i am most likely Not going to actually do anything im just being a#lil mental rn and i need to get the thoughts out there so they dont fill up my brain i hope u understand JHSJDKFBJGKG#SH TW IS OVER U CAN KEEP READING IF U WANTED TO SKIP THAT#girl what is wrong with me i base my entire life around a cartoon chr and then get mad when other people like her at all#but to be fair she's the first real reason to live i've ever had like.#i remember even at early elementary school age i felt like i would question what i was even alive for and if i even had a purpose#i am not sure if that is normal or not but i have a feeling it is not?#and if u followed my old vent blogs u would know How i was. Yknow#and even with things and chrs i liked before none of them made me feel a genuine reason to live.Until Yoomtah#it didn't take long for me to notice that the happiness i felt with her was something much more significant#something that gave me hope to keep going. something that made me feel truly alive.#something i have never experienced before- she is something to LIVE for.#shes my everything!!! shes the reason why i was made!!!! i could never exist without her and thats why i felt so dead before i met her!!!!!#what i feel for her is love but also so so so much more than just ''love'' can describe!!!!!!
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broadswipeslideshow · 2 years
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damn .
#wow. it's been bad. like really bad?#ive had my shitty moments but i think the past week takes a place in the top 5#idk what the fuck has been wrong with me but oh my god i am horrible. a complete mess. i cannot even function right now#the amount of times i've dissociated the past couple of days is ??? crazy. never had that happen except 4 when i went through severe trauma#just.... i can't focus. my sight gets all fuzzy and i don't have the mental capacity to return to my body#i am just numb and lifeless and my entire being is dead weight. it's too much effort to move so i just stare into a blurry atmosphere#most of the time. wishing i was dead tbh.#every single day i think 'i'm gonna kill muself.' i say it to myself constantly#like a source of comfort or some fucked up shit#i swear to god i have missing time from the past week. like what was i doing all day? where did i go?#it kind of scares me and the fact that i think i'm hallucinating doesn't make it any better#i keep hearing voices that aren't there and i saw a cockroach in my bathroom.... but it wasn't one#it was just me imagining it plus it was way too fast to be one#but i literally gasped and flinched back and watched it go behind my toilet. yet it wasn't there#what the fuck is happening to me?#i should be happy. i got accepted into college. and yet i'm not. i'm worse than ever before#my dad doesn't even support me on this. i don't have anyone to talk to. and i just really want to fucking die#and idk. i always think to myself how much i hate myself but i never really took it that seriously#but then the other day i realized how much i truly believe and KNOW i am a bad person. i am not good.#like wow i guess i really do hate myself#starting to suspect i have bpd :/ never really thought abt it before#but from what i keep reading and seeing most of my symptoms match up perfectly#favorite person / self harm / mood swings / utter lack of care for myself / anger and resentment toward others all the time#so much shit idk. my therapist says i self harm but i really have no idea if what i do is considered self harm#i mean. i guess it has left scars. but i don't think i do it out of hatred for myself? but maybe i do#considering i've come to the conclusion that i fucking despise every aspect of myself#i don't think it's normal to put yourself in someone else's shoes and think 'why would they ever want to be friends with me?'#there's too many other things to say but. i'm stupid and ugly and i want to die and fuck my life lmao. i hate it here for real.
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rottingsick · 2 years
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one thing I like abt the yandere community over other vent communities is how gainin a partner or someone that makes them not feel lonely is celebrated and how like ppl who feel lonely even though they have ppl around them are still welcomed in. in a lot of other vent communities, its like everyone feels betrayed that you'd step out of misery to actually feel happy and you're no longer welcome even if u do still struggle with loneliness because "at least you have someone"
#bpd yandere#actually yandere#irl yandere#yancore#text#rotting#mine#other communities weirdly feel competitive for whose in the worse mental state#or that you can easily measure everything to determine who has it worse#and if u have it better then suddenly u have no place there. get some real problem or whatever they say#or when u do end up havin similar problems. its not I know it sucks do you need help or I hope you make it thru. its 'welcome to my world'#in the yandere community it feels like even the 'smallest' of issues. that like if it matters to you. it matters. regardless of what it is.#maybe it cause ppl who id w the yandere troupe are so used to bein outcasted by others that we dont rlly wanna do that to someone else#dont wanna be that one person who makes it worse even if we dont truly care abt the other person.#I wonder how many ppl would be yanderes if this dynamic didn't exist in other vent places. if instead of healin. it pushed them to#'get worse' thus findin comfort in the extremes of yandereism but also noticin that yanderes don't even care if yer vent is like#'my crush didn't say hi to me when I said hi to him' like damn that sucks do u need help dealin w that#n also the same response to 'im goin insane every day feels like peelin my skin off and puttin it into a shredder'#I could be talkin out of my ass but this is what I've seen at least personally around#yandereism is just a place for the extremes. but its also a place for the little things too cause everythin matters if it matters to u too#mostly cause I think yans tend to obsess over little things but thats a seperate convos hdkhdkdjd
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batwalks · 3 months
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#///negative#//please don't read and please take care and stay safe#//i love you so please love yourself#///.................................................................................#...................................................................................#...............................................................................#I'm so tired i can't do this anymore#the only thing that keeps me going is the fact i have schedules and meetings i'm obligated to go to#I'm too scared of quitting bc i'm scared of pain and the unknown of what comes after#I read somewhere that starving yourself especially from water is a relatively peaceful process and can be over in a matter of a few days#you're not even mentally there near the end of it#reading that made me feel more calm and happy in a way#and then other sources say it's terrible so idk what to do#i'm 27 i thought growing up i wouldn't have these thoughts anymore#things are getting so bad and idk what to do#winter makes it worse but every winter is worse than the past one#idk if i can make it next year's winter idk if i can live to 30#im scared for myself and i keep on trying to give hints or just to feel like anyone is truly listening or hearing me and showing empathy#but it just becomes a competition of that everyone has it bad too and how much their life sucks which upsets me#i feel so isolated#theres no point to anything my friends have it bad and i have it bad and the world is so bad#every time i hang out with friends im just reminded more of how isolated and unheard i feel and how nothing brings me joy anymore#im getting too tired of masking so i dont want to hang out bc i dont want to bring my friends down#but then i wouldnt have any schedules to continue living to and i dont want to make people upset or get bored of me#idk what to do i feel so isolated#i know that even if someone actually cared i know it wouldnt matter anyways bc i cant feel any happiness from anything anymore#its been too many years of nothing my childhood and teen life sucked my adult life sucks i dont want to have 60+ more years of this#I've hoped so many times in the past that i get melanoma skin can//cer like my late grandfather#every day just eating barely a meal is a constant battle everything just taste of nothing#I'm so tired of fighting i can't do this anymore
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sapphosboy · 4 months
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Having repressed memories unlocked very suddenly, is a really terrible experience by the way. Like did not need to see a video of an incredibly traumatizing moment show up on the family digital slideshow but thanks :)
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von-karmas-a-bitch · 6 months
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you’ve got this!!
girl help i have no context ghskfhskbf thanks for whatever it is you're trying to pep talk me abt
#if i had to guess it's probably abt me rambling in the tags abt how i've been stuck in a mental illness tar pit#that caused me to run out of meds and subsequently get worse and ghost my found family grandparents for like 5 months fhsjhfjsgf#i am indeed on the verge of breaking my failgirl streak so i do got this you're right anon#the plan is to go to the farm and apologise for my disappearing act tomorrow around noon#since i feel like i can finally start volunteering consistently now bc im this close 👌 to getting back on top of shit#i actually did so much today im proud of myself#deep cleaned the degus' cages and gave them fresh bedding and they are very happy now bc making their nests is like their fave activity#especially sam he would honestly rather you give him a piece of toilet paper than a treat one man's trash truly is another man's treasure#and i took my laundry down (will put it away after I've done the other stuff i need to do) and hung my sister's up for her#(she batch cooked a bunch of meals for us and also does the bulk of housework as well as work work bc my ass is unemployed so like#it's older sibling reparations yknow. i gotta do stuff for her sometimes to lighten the load a bit lmao)#and i helped her take the bins out#and bc i have been living in my pajamas for an embarrassingly long while i have no more laundry to do aside from my bedsheets#which i am just abt to change#and THEN im gonna put my laundry away and answer that other ask#then im gonna be all caught up on Stuff I Need To Do and then volunteering at the farm will be the only thing i have to do#which will thus make it doable bc it won't make me too exhausted to do other stuff bc there is no other stuff to do#and then i will resume the usual thing where i don't go in on weekends and get the other stuff done then#i will of course inevitably burn out again but such is life when you have mental illness up the wazoo#honestly if the doctors were open on weekends that would solve a lot of my problems bc i keep forgetting to order my meds#and then i remember on the weekend but then they're closed and im like ok on monday then#and then by the time monday rolls around i forget rinse and repeat#im on the verge of running out again but fuck it we ball#i will figure this out somehow#im on top of literally everything else at least so. here's to hoping i can make it in on monday#apologies to my sister in advance for the 5 million alarms i must set but i am a very heavy sleeper#asks
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m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e · 1 year
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(TW for mention of self harm)
So I have a weird and long and complicated history with self harm, but… I stopped a while ago and seeing how faded my scars have gotten just has me like FUCK YES! RECOVERY! I CAN FUCKING DO IT!
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rosicheeks · 1 year
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You've been so quiet lately, Princess. We love you and what you post be it a trickle or a tsunami. May you feel all the love and adoration we have for you when you read this and all the asks we send you.
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#^^ literally me rn#im ok im ok I’m ok (she’s not)#I can’t thank you enough for this message lovely#I know I’ve been bitching about it ever since I’ve moved#but guys this move has been ROUGH#I had no fucking clue how rough it truly would be#I wanna say since I’ve moved I’ve been able to properly chill for a total of 3 hours#(I moved back in the beginning of January)#my depression and all of my mental bullshit is at an all time low#the only thing I’ve found that kinda helps is smoking but my parents don’t get it and don’t approve so I have to smoke in my cars#and ever since I’ve moved I’ve had like 6??? close calls with the cops#im just so sick of this life#and then I feel bad bitching about everything cause my parents have it a billion times worse#my dad has to deal with so many physical problems that I can just feel him starting to give up#my mom can barely see and her eyes are make her entire head hurt#so she’s getting a surgery done soon (for only $10000)#and then my dad has to pay for a surgery where the fucking doctor fucked up and he’s still recovering from#and there’s literally nothing I can do#I know I need to get a job I’m just terrified if I get a job I’ll get even more depressed and I’ll get back into those suicidal feelings#im tired I’m sad I’m broke I wanna help my parents but I can’t so I sleep#im kicking myself SO MUCH for everything that happened. I wish I could go back and do it all over idk#I’ve been really really trying but it’s just been a struggle lately#I want to reply to people (especially my snap babes) cause I feel so awful for not being around but life has just been to much for me rn#and the absolute last thing I want to do is bring other people down with me… I want to be a light in people’s lives not a dark hole ya know#idk this is a lot and I wanted to reply to this differently but here you go#just know I see every single ask and interaction and it makes me smile so much#I can’t thank you guys enough for being a light for me right now 🥺#even if I don’t reply to your ask I see it and it always makes me smile 🥰🥰🥰🥰#I’m out of space but thank you so fucking much I seriously can’t thank you enough I love you 🥹😭#ask
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confessedlyfannish · 7 months
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DP x DC Prompt #6
Phantom is sitting at the Batcomputer, kicking his legs back and forth. With the seat last set for Batman's height, his feet barely skim the ground. He's propped his head up with one hand, examining something he is holding between his thumb and forefinger in the other.
He is very casual for someone who has never been told the location of the Batcave.
"Phantom," Batman grunts. Phantom doesn't glance his way, likely having heard the Batmobile pulling in.
"Hi Bruce," he says. "I had a nightmare last night."
It's important to note that The Justice League does not know Phantom's true age, although there are several theories:
Theory One: he is a ghost dating back to several thousand BCE. The proof of this is sparse but present, through written record of beings with white hair and green eyes and uncanny likenesses found in artifacts proven to be authentic. Could these truly be Phantom? Yes. However, there is
Theory Two: he is a teenager, as his visual presence suggests. This could be true even if his existence is thousands of years old, as his mentality might not have advanced beyond that of a child aged fourteen to sixteen when they died. This is supported by his general behavior and advanced knowledge of memes. The few times he and Red Robin have interacted, Bruce did not understand a word of it without extensive googling. But worse, of course, there is
Theory Three: Phantom is the age of his first recorded appearance in modern times, only a few years ago. Phantom's recorded appearances in the past were sparse compared to his consistent existence in this century, which could hint at a timestream accident similar to Bruce's own, if they are real. And ultimately, this would not be the first time a two year old presented as a teenager in form.
Two out of three options propose Phantom is a child, and so Batman's tone is gentle when he says,
"Did you?"
"Yeah," Phantom says, words almost a sigh. Whatever is in his hand catches in the lamp light, shining green.
It's kryptonite. Phantom is holding a shard of kryptonite.
"Sorry." Phantom twirls his chair around to face Bruce. He holds the shard out in his palm. "I called you Bruce, didn't I? I know you hadn't told me yet."
"That's okay," Bruce says. He takes the shard calmly, his suit's layered biometrics disguising the fact his heart is racing. He recognizes this chunk from his stores, kept in the secure, deepest, impenetrable section of the cave coded to his DNA alone.
He's been aware Phantom's powers include invisibility and intangibility, but the ghost has been benevolent, honorable, and heroic since introduced and he had allowed his guard to slip. All it would've taken is being tailed one time, and now he must rely on that benevolence.
"And I'm sorry about that," Phantom says, nodding at the belt Batman has tucked the kryptonite inside. It will do nothing to stop Phantom should he decide to pluck it away again, but kept out of sight in a lead-lined pouch still feels safer than out in the open.
"I needed to make a point." Phantom says. The words are threatening but his tone is not.
"Oh?" Bruce asks, wary nonetheless.
"I'm really strong," Phantom says. "I can walk through walls. I can disappear. I can fly. I can blast and freeze stuff. I don't need to breathe. Traditional weapons don't really work on me."
"I can duplicate," a voice says from behind Bruce. He whirls around, batarang in hand, to see another Phantom rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "That duplicate will have all the same powers," the doppelganger says, apologetically. He floats back over to the Phantom sitting on the chair and the two merge.
"I have bad powers too, ones I don't like to use. I can scream at things until they fall apart, even buildings. I can...I can possess people, and make them do things," he admits, unable to look Batman in the eye. "It's not that all ghosts are like this, pretty much all of them aren't, it's just that I'm one of the stronger ones, and I'm only going to get stronger, and the stronger I get, the more powers I might get, and the less weapons even made especially to fight ghosts will work on me."
None of this is phrased as a threat, but rather a confession.
"Why are you telling me this?" Batman asks.
"I had a nightmare," Phantom repeats weakly. He reaches under the computer table and pulls out a purple JanSport backpack, cotton dirty and frayed with use. He unzips the front pocket and pulls out a small plastic baggy. He offers the baggy to Batman, his hand shaking.
Batman takes the baggy, examining the contents. Inside are six tiny little dots. They look like poppy seeds, but held up to the light are a deep purple in color.
"Phantom, what are these?"
"Hemo Prunus," Danny says, eyes stuck on the baggy. He's paler than usual. "Colloquially: blood blossoms. At the time they were grown it was believed they required drops of blood to grow, but a friend of mine who likes plants thinks it's more likely they actually just like a higher quantity of iron in their soil. You know, truths found in witch's tales and stuff like that. I don't know much about their care beyond that but I do know they were grown previously in Salem in the late 1600s, early 1700s during their summer seasons with some amount of success so perhaps you can mimic that environment and go from there. From what I've gathered they're incredibly difficult to grow, but I figure if anyone can do it it's you."
"I'm not exactly the gardening type," Batman says dryly.
Phantom laughs faintly. He looks like he's about to pass out, which should be impossible and is not the correct reaction to gifting someone a rare piece of flora.
"Phantom," Batman says again, slowly. "What are these?"
"They're my kryptonite."
Bruce closes his fist over the bag immediately, taking several steps back to put distance between himself and Phantom. "Are you alright?" he asks sharply.
"I'm fine," Phantom says, waving a hand. "As seeds they just sting a little, like nettles."
That's not the reaction of someone being lightly stung, Bruce thinks. Phantom looks like he needs the chair he's sitting in just to stay upright.
Then the rest of his words click together.
"You're giving me these," Bruce says.
"Yes," Phantom says. "For safekeeping."
"To grow."
Phantom's smile fades. "For safekeeping," he says, looking at Bruce's belt. Where he has stored the kryptonite.
The enormity of what Phantom is entrusting him with hits Bruce like a ton of bricks, and he finally realizes that Phantom is not sick but terrified. He is quietly, deeply, terrified. Bruce also realizes that a reaction like that is not born out of fear of the unknown but is the reaction of someone who has felt the sting of the bee and felt their throat close up. At some point Phantom has felt the blood blossom flower, and the sheer memory of it is enough to make the ghost go almost catatonic with terror.
And he has still handed over the one weapon that can hurt him to the Batman, and told him all he knows on how to make more.
I had a nightmare.
"Is this all of it?" Bruce asks, the question coming out brusquer than intended. Phantom blinks.
"Yes, I'm sorry, that's all I could--yes that's all," he stammers.
Bruce shakes his head. "I mean, does anyone else have access to it? Is anyone else growing this that we should be aware of?"
Phantom can't mask a sudden shudder, his reactions always woefully transparent (pun not intended). "No, that's the last of it. No. No. I don't think," his eyes grow wider, "I don't think so," he whispers, to himself, an attempt at comfort.
Way to go, Bruce, a familiar voice whispers, you just scared the kid harder. Bruce drops the packet on a table beside him and strides forward to put a firm hand on Phantom's shoulder.
"I'll make sure of it," he says. He'll pull Kal in and together they'll make sure, the same way they raided every GiW base across the United States four months prior. Phantom looks up at him the same way he did then, with complete and utter trust.
"Thank you," he says quietly. "But if you do...if you do find any more, promise me you won't destroy it. Promise me you'll keep it, the same way you keep the kryptonite. Please, Bruce."
He's not just asking him to keep it. Another weight finds its place, settling on the Bat's shoulders like the cape he wears. Another contingency for a hero he fears will one day be a dear friend.
"I promise, Phantom."
"Danny," Phantom says, "My name is Danny. A name for a name, right?"
"Danny," Bruce says, heart growing ever heavier. "I promise."
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Text
Bring Heaven To You - LN
Summary: Y/n had been dating Charles til he breaks up with her and when he shows up with a new girl less than a week later, Lando makes a move that he doesn't think is very disrespectful given the relationship ending, and he intends to show her what heaven really feels like in a relationship.
No part 2 requests please
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Lando had heard the news, seen the announce of the "mutually agreed" ending to the relationship. He supposed it had been fairly obvious that the two were slowly growing apart.
Or more, Charles was losing interest in a woman too good for him anyway.
She's actually a neighbour of Lando's. Living in Monaco as some big millionaire's daughter, aka she doesn't pay for her living costs for Monaco.
"Hey, y/n. I was wondering when-are you ok?" Lando questions spotting her at the entrance, as he steps out and finds her very much looking a bit of a morning after mess.
"Yeah...just getting air. I don't feel so good." Y/n sighs as he sits down beside her. "Turns out drinking your problems away and sleeping with a millionaire isn't the way to go."
Ignoring the pang of jealousy that someone else got to be her rebound, Lando pats her knee.
"I would've thought millionaires would be exactly the type of people to fix problems."
"Yeah, well when you sloppily get drunk and he enjoys raw-dogging it. It comes with a lovely morning wake up of him telling me his assistant got me the morning after pill-actually two because apparently I'm a bit chubby and he doesn't want to risk it not working right because of dosage." Y/n laughs dryly then rubbing her hands over her face digging the heels of her palms into her eyes. "I almost want to credit him for knowing that woman who weight more need more than one pill."
Lando doesn't even know what to say, but his instinct is to find the bastard, take him in a choke hold and keep his head pressed under water till he feels like he levelled the universe's need for karma.
"I know what you're thinking." Y/n sighs but Lando can't help but mentally counter that she definitely doesn't. "This is not the right way to handle a break up. But this is the classic response isn't it? Drink, sex and wallowing."
"There's worse ways to handle it."
"Mmm...I could pull the ultimate move of manipulation by going to Charles and say if he doesn't take me back I'll kill myself." Y/n laughs then shaking her head. "I got dropped off here by the asshole's driver and I don't have the energy to move. Do you know how many rich people have drive past giving me the dirtiest looks? Safe to say any amount of self-confidence Charles didn't take has well and truly been washed away."
"Ok, as much as I want to respect you and respect Charles. Y/n, Charles never treated you right and that rebound was a fucking cunt." Lando states then standing up and offering his hands. "And if you're going to make be sad. Then you're going to have to fight me doing anything to get a smile out of you to do it."
"Sounds like the last thing I want to do is take your hands then." Y/n smiles lightly before shaking her head. "I need a shower, he might've given me the morning after pill but uhh...he didn't let me stick around to wash of the 4 drinks I spilled down myself or the sweat."
"Give me your hands y/n. You can shower once you're actually on your feet." Lando shrugs making her smile finally reaching her hands out and allowing herself to be pulled up to her feet. "You're freezing."
Y/n's body is only adorned in a slinky dress that is thin as hell with strappy heels on the floor. Presumably she hasn't worn them this morning. To put it lightly, she's not dressed for the coolness of a Summer night.
"It's October." Y/n smiles sarcastically then sighing as he pushes the door open. "You don't really have to stay with me. You were on your way to somewhere."
"Not to anywhere important." Lando shrugs making her smile sadly before he gestures for them to go ahead. "My apartment or yours?"
"Mine." Y/n laughs not really sure why they'd go to Lando's. "Are you going to be on y/n patrol or something? Make sure I don't go off the rails and throw myself in the ocean?"
"Well I am now." Lando frowns making her smile lightly at him.
They get up to her apartment Lando sighs taking in the soft vanilla scent that always seems to fill up the space. He's been in her apartment before. She keeps it much more full of stuff and life than he does with his. Not like it's cluttered but you can learn a lot about her if you pay attention to the details.
"If you just want to sit down or...wonder around, snoop in my stuff, just...if you go in my bedroom, possibly don't mention some of the stuff you find. It's embarrassing enough that you found me looking like this on the floor at the doorway of our apartment building." Y/n smiles then moving down her hallway into her bathroom.
"Fucking hell, make it hard for me." Lando whispers to himself while moving around to sit down on her sofa.
About 20 minutes later, y/n reappears with a towel that only just maintains her modesty as she does a spin.
"Improved?"
"You always look good, but I think for a full evaluation you'll need to remove the towel."
"And here I was about to praise you for not being a perv by being caught wanking with my underwear."
"Dirty or clean?" Lando questions making her frown in confusion. "Did you think the underwear I'd use would be dirty or clean?"
"You're disgusting." Y/n laughs picking up one of the cushions to throw at him before she moves back. "I'm going to get dressed. I won't be long."
Lando smiles sort of glad that y/n at least still has her sense of humour intact. Though it might be the residual alcohol in her system. Really Lando always thought she was too funny for Charles, he never seemed to understand her humour but Lando got it. That's why they got along even before her and Charles broke up.
When y/n appears clothed and layered up in some joggers and a sweater. From that Lando feels the urge to cuddle with her just from the sight.
He's never seen her so dressed down, presumably the image of Charles' girlfriend doesn't allow for it much even if Charles isn't the most fashionable person on the planet.
"You look cosy." Lando comments while she sighs. "I would offer to leave you with your thoughts but everything you've said till now tells me that's not a good idea."
"I'm not in a depressive episode, Lando. I'm just...single and had to tell the world it was a mutual decision, but really I said that so he didn't look shit in the media...I heard he's already with someone new."
"He'd be stupid if he gave you up and then moved onto someone new."
"Or I'm just that bad." Y/n smiles as she tucks herself up on the sofa and looks at him. "Being a good neighbour to you doesn't mean Charles though I was a good girlfriend. You never know what's going on that you don't see."
"You're being harsh on yourself."
"You're being too kind." Y/n mumbles gently kicking him with her foot though he quickly grabs it and uses it to yank her towards himself, forcing her to slide across the sofa.
"Maybe I'm not being kind. Maybe I'm dropping hints that you're not picking up." Lando states making her stop laughing at him. "You should come to COTA as my guest."
"Now you're just asking for trouble."
"I only stopped myself before because you're were in a relationship." Lando shrugs earning a laugh of disbelief from her. "Figure the best time to shoot my shot successfully is when you're still a little disorientated."
"I'm so stupid. I was dating some asshole who dumped me for someone better and now you're telling me I was so blinded by Charles that I didn't notice you." Y/n groans covering her face. "And now you want me at COTA with you."
"You can say no."
"I feel like I've already been enough of a bitch to you...especially when you're seeing me at my worst."
"If this is your worst, I'm not sure I even need to see your best." Lando smirks earning a pointed look from her.
"Were you always this smooth? Have I been deaf this whole time?"
"Yes."
-
Y/n felt oddly empowered walking into the paddock with Lando who seems to be proudly at her side.
Admittedly, she went all out making sure she had the perfect outfit, got her nails done with papaya French tips, sunglasses mask part of her face as the sun shines down on them.
"Y/n?" Carlos chokes out clearly shocked that she's not only switched from red to papaya but from Charles to Lando. "Has Charles seen you?"
"I don't know, why?" Y/n smiles sweetly since actually her heartbreak is long gone and she doesn't care in the slightest about Charles. It turns out when someone points out just how little you were valued by someone else, it becomes pretty hard to miss them.
"You-The two of you are together, yes?"
"Carlos, your concern is unnecessary...I know Charles is here with someone else. Why can't I be here with someone else who actually treats me like I matter?" Y/n questions making Carlos speechless but she can't help as she makes another comment with a slightly more hurt tone which makes Lando's head turn with a concerned expression. "Plus...you've been teammates with both of them. Tell me I didn't upgrade."
Carlos laughs not being able to deny that Lando has at least brought back the life to the young woman. He'd felt bad knowing that Charles was slowly involving himself with someone new while still in a relationship with y/n, who Carlos knows deserved better. He just never thought better would come in the form of Lando and certainly not the week after the relationship was announced as over.
"We should go." Lando comments making her hum and follow him giving Carlos a little wave as Lando flashes him a smile.
"You know, I am beginning to think I've risked it with this top." Y/n sighs as she uses her free hand to gently tug her top which is only held in place by string tied around her back. "It looks good but one quick move and someone is definitely getting flashed."
"You can borrow something from me if you need." Lando states earning a small smile. "I know you're already repping papaya on your nails, but if you need some extra layers for safety, McLaren will be more than happy to have you representing the team in uniform."
"You think?"
"As part of the McLaren family. I think I can speak confidently on the subject." Lando hums earning a small laugh from the young woman.
"In that case, if it gets a little colder. I may take you up on that offer." Y/n grins then moving around in front of him, forcing him to stop as she rests her arms on his shoulders. "You know you don't have to treat me this good just because-"
"I am treating you like this because you deserve it and it's how I treat the woman I want to be in a relationship with." Lando cuts in then grinning into a kiss as she leans in. "I don't know who is showing off more. You or me."
"I think it's nice that we're both showing off." Y/n shrugs her hand moving to cup his face, her thumb gently rubbing his cheek before she pecks his lips again.
There's a sudden gust of wind making her body shudder quickly before she finds herself pulled against him as he tries to protect her from the cold.
"Come on, let's get you inside. I think we can find you a jacket to keep you a bit warmer." Lando states then grinning as he picks her up in a big hug.
-
Y/n sighs looking at her phone tilting her head as she reads through the high amount of hate she's getting. There's a very few who seem to support her, them pointing out the difference between y/n and Lando now vs y/n and Charles in the past few weeks.
Some have also noted the new mystery girl that Charles appeared with.
"Charles wants to speak to you." Lando comments suddenly, appearing out of nowhere and sitting down across from her since she's in some of the outdoor seating in front of the McLaren unit.
"Mmm...I could get used to an F1 driver being my personal carrier pigeon." Y/n jokes then shaking her head. "Is it too petty of me to say that I don't really want to to talk to him?"
"No. I warned him that it's your choice and I'm not force young." Lando shrugs making her smile and move over sitting in his lap, closing the space between them as she makes her shameless public display. "I'd rather you didn't really."
"Then I won't. Spent too long wasting my time pleasing him anyway, why waste another second when I got you?" Y/n grins before placing several kisses around his face earning some loud laughter.
"Oi! Keep it in your pants kids!" Daniel exclaims passing the two with Max who is laughing pretty hard too.
"Not wearing any!" Y/n shouts back making both Max and Daniel trip over their own steps then both laughing while she grins and leans back on Lando resting her head on his shoulder. "I mean that by the way."
Lando hums sliding his hand just under the denim of her jeans and sliding it over the skin as if to check himself.
"Noted for later. For now, do you want to come to the garage with me? It's one of the safe places where Charles can't try to corner you for a chat."
"Oh my gosh, yes. That sounds so fun." Y/n gasps standing up and tugging Lando up before he has a chance to really process what she's saying.
-
Turns outs that y/n really couldn't avoid Charles forever and while he didn't catch her in COTA, he did catch her in Mexico.
"Y/n, please." Charles tries as she spots him nearing her and tries to rush to the safety of the McLaren unit but his voice rising in volume forces her to stop.
Her body slumps and she sighs slowly turning.
"I really don't want to talk." Y/n states making Charles look at her with those big eyes that really make her rolling her own and gesture for him to go ahead.
"Y/n, I'm sorry." Charles sighs making her sigh looking at him with a dead-eyed expression. "I should've never treated you the way I did, it was wrong and not fair. You don't have to forgive me but I want you to know I am sorry."
Y/n frowns, a little shocked. She expected possibly some jealousy of some anger saying that she shouldn't be dating Lando. But an apology is quite nice.
"You seem happier with him that you were with me." Charles adds making her sigh.
"Because he doesn't speak to me like I've always done something wrong...maybe do better with your new girlfriend...and don't cheat on her instead of just breaking up because you realised it wasn't the right fit." Y/n states trying to keep her tone as soft as possible since Charles isn't there starting fights. "Thank you for coming to talk to me."
"Thank you for not running off." Charles nods then swallowing. "It's nice seeing you so happy with Lando."
"It's nice being so happy with Lando. You could ask him for some tips." Y/n shrugs before feeling some pride in herself then she moves away. "This was a good talk, Charles."
He doesn't stop her this time and actually the witnesses to the interaction see a look of regret on Charles face as it seems to dawn on him how badly he fumbled with her. Especially when she's so clearly thriving with Lando which means it's not very likely she was the issue this whole time.
"I hope I don't have to fight him, I don't actually know who between us could take the other but I feel like he's got the upper had a little." Lando states as y/n nears where he was standing with Jon.
"No, I think I put him in his place without your help." Y/n states making him grin at her. "But thank you for your concern."
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