#it was a busy day we saw a dog and chased a dragon fly and watched some beetles and had homemade snickerdoodles

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 3

Let’s Split Up and Look for Clues! 

Welcome back to the Seven and the Museum of Adventuring. My previous pronouncement of combat was a little premature but hold tight, we’ll get there. For now, we’re back with Antiope who just saw a glimpse of the Ending of Things (aka, Ending) and is freaking out a bit. She tells the others and they all do various checks to see what they can find out.

Ostentatia casts Commune With City and clocks that there is some kind of abjuration shield magic on the government buildings in town, stopping them from being spied on. She also clocks some lingering undead-ish magic and a weird divination effect on Antiope, specifically on the Aguefort logo of her jacket, like someone scryed on her and just got that she had something to do with Aguefort. At this, Penny reminds her that the only true piece of info they gave Ending when they broke her out is that they were from Aguefort.

Sam with a 19 Insight still feels the connection she and Ant have with Ending because of their spells turned against them in the initial encounter. Yelle does a Perception check (27) and once again doesn’t really get bad, dreadful, menacing vibes. But also, she recognizes that she’s chill with a lot of things most people don’t love. 

Antiope reiterates that she texted Charity that she’s interested in the internship so she can learn more info--even better now that they know the buildings are safe from scrying. Yelle remembers Aguefort’s warning about people watching them and Sam asks Zelda if her “weird boyfriend” (“he’s actually really cool”) is friends with the elven oracle. Zelda says yeah, they’re both friends with Adaine, she can ask about any weird divination stuff. Sam makes sure to specify she should look into TK but NOT Ending, no doubt remembering what happened when she tried to do a spell on her. 

It’s been a big day as Zelda says so they all go to the TGIF-esque Slappy McFinnigans to celebrate (which Sam has problems with--the fact that they’re celebrating I mean, but she’s mainly ignored). They’re quickly kicked out because Katja can’t help herself from trying to brush the mane of their centaur server and they reconvene at the more their speed SlamBurger, where a horse can fully destroy a soda machine to absolutely zero reaction.  Zelda says that Ostentatia was right in that they should all do the quest because it doesn’t close any doors and they have the 2 weeks to figure things out. They all seem a bit more on the same page (though Sam is still pretty frosty towards Ant) and start making plans.

Before they leave, Yelle pulls aside Ant and Sam and says hey, first of all, you two are still linked to Ending from before. Second of all, I know y’all are Going Through It right now and you don’t have to talk about it or make up right away but you need to get your heads in the game and you need to know that you’re both loved and still family. 

Penny, Zelda, Katja, and Ostentatia go back to the museum to try and get more information for their quest. Katja goes to the information desk (horse in tow, of course) and just starts asking information about TK. She’s told that she’s one of the museum’s benefactors and has been missing for years, and hey, do you understand that a museum’s info desk is about where the water fountains and exhibits are, not just random information about the world?

Ostentatia bails her out by calling her over so she can do her plan which is just to walk into the back area like she owns the place. Now, Aguefort students do have a certain level of clearance to be back there and she does have her school ID. But instead of explaining that, she tried to use her Earrings of Diamond Charm to charm the employee she runs into which fails. And then she does a pretty good tag-team lie with Katja about how they NEED to pass a class but that doesn’t fly. Then Ostentatia tries flirting which ALSO doesn’t work. Zelda at this point steps in and just headbuts the dude so they can book it away. I personally would have gone with, “Do you know who we are? We killed the dragon that’s your current main exhibit,” but you know. No backseat adventuring. 

While this is happening, Penny is stealthing like a pro, looking for anything Arcana related. Ostentatia and Katja also did checks (O getting a nat 20) and we’ll go through all their info gathered now. 

Katja basically gets info on TK we kind of already knew. She was a benefactor of the museum. She’s centuries old like Aguefort. She was concerned with consciousness and divinity and specifically how will and divine will manifested, as well as elemental magic.  

Ostentatia gets a lot of info with her Nat 20. She gets a full map to the temple where TK went which is called the Temple of Earth Defiant. The point of the temple is that it’s up in the open air and harsh winds--wind being a symbol of chaos and unpredictability to dwarves--but they still use it as a place to honor their heroes and they rebuild and upkeep it despite the erosion and how hard it is to get there. It’s hallowed from evil and lots of stories about it involve heroes racing there for sanctuary. It was made by dwarves but it’s a pilgrimage site for other primordial beings like goliaths and earth genasi (which is what TK is). There are 3 heroes who have big statues here: Asha Hammerheart (a SUPER dope name I must say), Yvonna of the Sundering Hills , and Kora Ironbrow.

Penny finds that, amongst Kalvaxus’s hoard there were 7 unrecovered artifacts--the Mirrors of the Eidolons (which are the smashed mirrors they found it seems). Eidelons are kind of like the elemental plane version of angels/celestials. They’re primordial (remember Katja saw primordial language on the wall of the dragon cave) and kind of aligned with things like titans and genies. Raw element with no agenda (unlike celestials and demons and such which have a clear alignment which makes up the D&D religious system). It is said by wizards--who look at these things in more of a nuts and bolts way than say clerics who take the fuzzier religions view--that Eidolons are the hands of the gods because gods are beings of spirit--how could they form the physical world. Will of the divine manifested by elemental beings? Sounds right up TK’s alley.

Sam decides she’s desperate enough for information that she calls her mom who she is understandably snippy with. Her mom gives her a contact to talk to when she asks about TK but Sam stonewalls her on show business talk. She tries to play the “mother knows best, you’ll thank me later,” in a kind of Gothel-y way while acting like anything in the past never happened and says Sam is attacking her but when Sam accuses her of neglect, she proves her right by hanging up the phone.

Sam then calls the number and it turns out to be Lola Embers (Fig’s agent) who has been waiting for Sam’s call for ages and wants to talk to her, even though she’s currently chasing her dog across the park. She says she met TK once at a genasi woman networking thing and also says she once saw Charity get into an argument with TK over government funding or not getting a grant or something similar. She then says she’s in a lake trying to get her dog and Sam, being a water genasi who can breathe underwater and also a fundamentally good person even though she’s currently being aggro as hell, goes to the park to help her. Lola assures her that if she’s ready, she’ll help her get new acting gigs and that the world is ready for the new her. 

Yelle meanwhile casts Speak With Plants on some trees near TK’s office and, after a super stoner to stoner conversation, gets a magical footprint trail of where she ran off to when she absconded 12 years ago. 

Antiope (who is in a sports bra because she destroyed her top with the Aguefort logo since that’s what was pinged, revealing in a wild, nat-1 fueled retcon that she got a tramp stamp reading “Leader” in the Red Waste) goes to see Charity to fill out some paperwork, ingratiate herself, and perhaps get some info. Charity has her hot, young, assistant (who Antiope is instantly crushing on) give Ant his shirt (and Charity’s lack of surprise at seeing his 4 horses pulling a chariot tattoo makes the group think they’re def banging). She kind of explains what the Ministry does and Antiope boils it down a bit to snitching on other adventurers. Charity says it’s more of a who watches the watchmen situation and visibly twitches when she has to say the word “snitch”. 

When she takes a second to call Antiope’s dad, she accidentally leaves a tab open on her computer which has TK’s file open (probably up from when the Maidens asked about her earlier). Antiope sneaks a peek and learns that the artifact that TK stole is called the Legendarium Extrodia and it tracks quests. It seems that at some point TK must have had top level access to get her hands on it. It also shows that TK was marked for assassination (which seems like a pretty good reason to get the heck out of dodge). Brennan also says she’s learned enough that she can use the L.E. if she finds it. 

At this point, Yelle tells everyone to come back ASAP so they can follow the magic footsteps. Antiope wants to come but doesn’t want to burn bridges with Charity (or chances with Preston--equally important) so she, at Katja’s suggestion--pretends to have diarrhea and is Nat 20 convincing. Interesting choice for the end of the first meeting with a person you’re crushing on. But Preston is actually pretty supportive as she races out the door as fast as possible.

The Seven follow the footsteps out of Solace and it becomes clear that TK was headed to the dwarven temple Ostentatia learned about. This is a multi-day journey so Cinnamon sings a glorious, magical, horse song and summons mounts for everyone which I will now name because this is obviously the most important part of the episode:

Snowfire - Danielle

Taffodill - Sam

Alagonia - Antiope

Candyheart - Penny

Starforge - Ostentatia 

Strawberry Dancer - Zelda 

Crucial info. 

As they travel, Antiope casts Primeval Awareness and gets that there is something ancient in the mountain. They travel through Pilgrim’s Pass (a village area most travelers to the temple pass through) but find it completely razed to the ground. They investigate. 

With an 18 Survival check, Antiope finds tracks that seem halfway between dog and cat. There are more than 4 legs and it’s hard to tell how old they are because there’s not a lot of rain in the area. They could have been left long ago and been undisturbed. Regardless, these are clearly from monstrosities. On a 26 History Check, Katja knows that this area used to be protected by Blink Dogs (teleporting dogs) but they seem to be all gone now. On a 22 Nature check, Yelle sees a weird feather made out of plant material. It seems like fae stuff but bad vibes. On an 18 Insight check, Sam knows this was a purposeful slaughter.

And on Penny’s 30 Arcana check, oh boy. Penny finds broken common scrawled on the wall in human blood talking about a queen of the mountain who rules the skies. That only the queen may see and none may see themselves. And that the people were told to destroy the seeing glass and did not obey. In from of that message is a bear hide covering something magic. Penny lifts it with reckless abandon and sees tons of mirror shards.

Friendship bracelets! She thinks.

Gotcha bitch, the thing in the mirror says.

Uh-oh.   

Penny calls over her friends to let them knows she may have made a tiny mistake. The group is pretty split between, “Understandable,” and “Girl, WHAT?” In her defense, she did try to cast Friends on the person on the other side of the mirror shards but that’s not enough to stop an entire pack of 50-60 Displacer Beast (magic tentacle cats)/Blink Dog hybrid monstrosities along with the Harpy Queen (voice from the mirror) and her plant feathered harpy minions to start rapidly making their way to their location. 

It is at this point that Ostentatia remembers that abominations and monstrosities cannot step into the temple which means it’s time to RUN. 

And NOW it’s combat time. 

The premise of this fight is that the girls are on their horses, moving towards the center of the temple as fast as they can while fending off the closest enemies. I won’t give an exact play by play but the two highlights are as follows:

Yelle conjures up a bunch of geese with raptor stats (...so normal geese) to swarm the head cat/dog abomination and has to do a truly stunning amount of math for which she is rewarded with SEVENTY POINTS OF DAMAGE. 

Antiope does some insane arrow trickery and gets the Queen Harpy in the wing (which Ostentatia helpfully gets on video so she can show Preston later) and then forces her to take damage as she falls. If not for an extremely lucky Box of Doom nat 20, she may have been down for the count. Antiope still comes away with more than FIFTY points of damage on her though. 

And we end the episode mid-combat! We will catch up on our girls next time!

Superlatives 

Penny: Most Likely to Make Friends During a Hostage Situation 

As a companion to Danielle’s superlative last episode, Penny gets this award for reading or misreading every situation as an opportunity to make friends or make friendship bracelets for the ones she already has. 

Random Thoughts

Did you guys notice that with Katja having Cinnamon and Charity’s assistant being Preston, that’s two of the main pet NPCs from A Crown of Candy?

Antiope’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Rail against the dying of the light! Why are you OK with this?

Penny’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Entropy is TERRIBLE! Everything needs order!

The greasy cashier’s response to Ostentatia’s flirty, “Come here often?” is “To my job? Honestly no.” Brennan? Chef’s kiss. 

My other fave line this episode is from Sam. “I believe Cinnamon fucks.”

It’s very cute that Penny is like, “I gotta text Riz about this Eidelon stuff!” Not because she wants help. Just so they can geek out together. 

The joke that Brennan didn’t think about the birds is so funny considering all the bird facts in Misfits.

Also re Birds attacking: “They made a movie about this Brennan!” 

Good on Ant for refusing an Aguefort sweatshirt from Charity when offered after the little scrying incident before. Remembering things like this saves lives. 

It has been brought up several times that Ending isn’t necessarily Bad just Ancient and Powerful and I trust Yelle’s vibe check but also, like, a forest fire doesn’t have malice behind it but it can still devastate a city while it clears out dead trees that need to be cleared, you know? Not ready to start wild speculation yet but I am curious. And am similarly curious about the sisters Ending has mentioned. Oh and the parallels of 7 Maidens, 7 mirrors. It’s all there, we just need a little more info. 

Honestly, get you a man who will see you rushing out of a building, loudly claiming to have diarrhea, and instead of being grosses out will just supportively confess his own stomach issues. I wish he was just a little younger cause I want that for Ant. 

I do like that D20 has been playing a little more fast and loose with the RP ep/combat ep format. I think it really helps with story flow. 

In this episode Antiope and Brennan as various non-Zelda NPCs rolled 2 Nat 20s. O rolled one. Ant rolled 1 Nat 1--which was on a self imposed roll to see how she responded to Sephie’s tramp stamp improv. And O may have rolled one for initiative also but I wasn’t sure. 

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high #the seven #spoilers #sorry this is a little late #life happens

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Happy Birthday Until Pronounced Otherwise

Well, here it is. Late as always, but what can you do? So, this is a birthday for the best Big-Bro in the history of big brothers, and I’ve been wanting to celebrate his birthday on this blog since we had our first chat. This turned out longer than expected, and that’s with NaNoWriMo stress on me, but I counted this thank goodness. Some of this comes from the Discord, which is the source of all great ideas, and some research through the archive section for specifics. This is a thank you to all of the people who’ve pushed Legion forward into the being they are today, and I hope that we can have many more birthday adventures with these lovely boys. So, enjoy some sweet, some stupid, and some feels.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you, the next one will probably hurt. Mwahaha

…

They had to corner Phantom and Mad to get the plan pulled off, arguing/pouting until the demon and barman agreed to help decorate the bar. And distract Mare, but that was the easier part. The hardest thing that Legion originally feared was keeping their lip buttoned and not spilling their plans to Mare every time they saw him.

Their salvation came in the combined willpower of their many souls, and a patience born of many quiet people who were used to keeping their feelings on the down-low. Now, was this the most healthy thing mentally? No, no it wasn’t. But that could be addressed at a later time, when they weren’t stocking up on streamers, charging speakers, and ordering a lot of donuts. Donuts were better than cake, and they were pretty certain Freddy’s didn’t serve them. Less connections to that place was probably for the best.

There was also a mild cheer for Amazon, for delivering to a random location where no house supposedly existed so that an ageless child-like being under house arrest could get a present for their part-robot big brother. The delivery person got none of that exposition, just a thank you from someone who’s face they couldn’t concretely pin down before the found themselves back in their truck with no memory of getting into it.

Nate arrived about two hours ahead of schedule with his guitars at the ready for a little jamming out with Mare once the festivities died down a bit, and Legion was running around with a clipboard gripped in one hand and a ‘tamed’ version of the confetti launcher in the other. Except now it blasted little rolls of streamers to decorate the room. They claimed it was like tee-peeing a house, but they would clean up later (that was a promise that Phantom would not be budged on) and it was consented destruction.

And finally, finally, the stage was set and Legion was blipping the last present into their cloak for safekeeping. Prior experience had taught them that Mare could find anything they tried to hide, except when it was in their cloak, which no one could touch. So, in order for present thievery to be prevented, precautions were being taken. Nate was losing it on the sound effects and muttering from Legion as they shoved a large packing box underneath their left arm, punching it in with their right fist until it vanished with a pop. Then it was the main event time, and Legion ran off to grab their ‘big bro’.

“I’m surprised they haven’t popped at this point,” Nate said casually to Phantom, the both of them drinking punch with a suspicious amount of sugar in it. Phantom shrugged from his spot, before stopping to look at the musician.

“How do you know that? I haven’t seen you with them.” Nate grinned.

“I came over one time to talk and they were the only one there. You were away on a ‘business’ trip and they showed me this neat looking rock.” Phantom frowned in displeasure at the reminder as Nate continued, “Kid’s a handful, but they’re sweet. Not to mention they’re wild for you guys, wouldn’t stop talking about how amazing you are in all that you do.” Phantom was purposefully avoiding eye contact at this point, smiling despite himself. Nate noticed of course, and punched him lightly in the arm. “They love you man, no shame denying that.”

“I wish they had more common sense than that,” He trailed off when the pounding started, and Legion dashed into the room, squeeing as they tried to escape Mare, who was playfully reaching out for them. The short-lived chase ended when Legion ran over a pillow and flipped on the couch, allowing Mare to stop and finally observe his surroundings. His eyes widened.

“Is this?” Legion sat up again, dislodging a pillow and waving their arms wildly.

“HAPPY DAY OF BIRTH!” With a blip, they were beside Mare and giving him a strong hug, looking up with eyes containing dancing lights. “We must now celebrate the moment you got a body that we can bother!” Mare tilted his head to the side before grinning, bringing a hand down to noogie their hair and chuckle.

“That’s worth the celebration?” Legion nodded vehemently and Sharper popped up beside them, holding a donut in hand.

“We have to celebrate you not getting murdered for another year.” Sharper realized his phrasing and winced, “Was that insensitive?”

Mare shook his head, pulling Sharper in and giving him a noogie him too, “Nah, I think you all want to kill me at some point or another.” Then he snagged the donut and bit into it, to the protesting of both the android and the chaos-being. “Mwha? Yew saif ditz mry brifphdey.” Legion blipped away, running for the rest of the donuts even as Mare was ghosting away for a few seconds, and with that the party started.

It was a relatively quiet affair at the end of the day. After threats by Mad to burn the birthday donuts, Mare was given a flower crown woven out of white chrysanthemums, orange roses, and boulevard doubles. Legion had pointed to each flower and carefully explained their meanings, of enthusiasm, loyal love and pride. Mare had told them they were a sap, and they responded that they were very proud of their sappiness and to put the dang crown on already. Mad and Phantom found it pretty funny until Legion reminded them that similar crowns were in their future. Then it sparked an argument with no bite about allergies and flowers and demon horns. Mare was just sitting back, delighting in the atmosphere and munching away on his fourth donut.

“You’re gonna get sick you know?” Sharper tried to interject at one point, but Mare just grinned around the glaze.

“It’s my birthday Sharpie. Let me enjoy this.” Sharper didn’t get much of a chance to respond since Legion called him over as an ally, and then a pillow fight started and by the end the punch bowl nearly went flying if it weren’t for some demonic intervention. That was perhaps a sign that they should sing, and Nate plugged in his guitar, playing an acoustic version of ‘Happy Birthday’ that all of the guests sang to. Then it was a donut-eating competition between Mare and Legion that ended in his defeat. Being a being of hundreds of minds apparently meant you had hundreds of stomachs.

“Now sit down and close your eyes,” Legion eventually said once they had settled on the couch, and Mare summoned a wisp of smoke to hover over his eyes. “That’s cheating!”

“Fine,” Now he brought his hands up, and Legion waved their fingers around him. When all he did was hummed absently, they nodded their consent and reached down, rifling through their cloak and pulling out various items.

In all honesty, it sounded a bit terrifying with the variety of noises that accompanied their actions, but Legion was already a semi-eldritch being, what was a few more noises? When the last envelope fluttered out, they proudly grabbed Mare’s hands and tugged them down.

The various presents ranged from a new set of guitar strings and decorative stickers from Nate to a ‘tactical surprise’ from Mad that Legion was forbidden from using. When it finally reached Legion, they held their hand up, eyes searching the table until they snapped their fingers, pulling the large packing box forward. Mare stared in surprise.

“Are you smuggling another dragon in?”

“Stop sassing and open the box.”

Easier said than done considering Legion had wrapped the thing in tape, but with a pair of scissors Mare eventually broke through the lid, arrived at the next box inside wrapped like a burrito and figured out this was going to take a little longer than first anticipated.

Thirteen boxes and two confetti traps later, Mare eventually pulled out a small black box with a little tag that read ‘Pull me’. Taking caution, he distanced his body as far from it as he could, only using the tips of his fingers to pull the tag up before leaning back. Instead of exploding paper in his face, the walls fell away to reveal… a coffee mug.

“That’s it?!” He gave Legion a look, but they cheekily pointed at the writing on the side.

There was a picture of a tobacco pipe, some old-fashioned gimmick, and below it read, Comic Sans is Cool Again. In damn Comic Sans.

“You little troll,”

“Aw, we love you too!”

“That is atrocious,” Nate said, failing to hide his snickering as Mare ghosted over to hug Legion, yanking their hood over their head and fending off their playfully flailing arms. 

“Atrociously funny.” Legion affirmed once they finally got their hood off, shaking their hair free before getting off the couch. The took the largest box and flipped it over, revealing something tapped in between the flaps. A golden envelope with the name Mare-Mare written in purple pen. It was passed over as the laughter died down, and Mare sliced it open, revealing a folded piece of stationary.

It was quiet for the seven minutes it took Mare to read and reread the piece. His response at the end was to pull Legion into the firmest hug he could and whisper something in their ear that made vibrate so hard that fifteen Legions appeared around the room. As one, they turned and dog-piled Mare in hugs, much to his delighted protest.

…

It was nearing quitting time when the Host finally made his way through the back door, still faintly smoking.

“Wilford was being especially difficult today, until the Host called in the Producer. She’s the only one that can set him straight these days besides Amy.” He settled by Mare and passed him a book. “The Host wishes Mare a happy birthday, and wants to give him this.” The book was a picture album, and it contained several candid shots of Legion and Mare in their romping around the Mansion. “Consider this a joint gift from the Host and the Doctor.” Mare smirked and gently bumped Host’s shoulder.

“Thanks.”

“Mare need not mention it to the Host. He may tell the Host what he thought of this. Legion was especially determined on this project, and they were very excited to surprise you.”

“This is probably the best birthday I’ve had in years,” He looked over to where Legion was trying to match Nate’s movements as he played, managing to pick out a few notes before they lost their focus and tried again. “And of course that little weirdo did amazing.” There was silence for a moment. “Did you know about the letter?”

“The Legion did consult the Host on it for a short period of time. Did Mare like it?”

“…It was the sappiest thing I’ve ever read. I had 12 donuts today and that piece of paper had enough sugar in it to rot my jaw.” He tapped his chest pocket, where the paper would rest now and forever. 

The two sat in the ambiance, and for Mare, it was the pinnacle of existence, a moment of pure bliss. With his brothers, his semi-father-figure and the little sibling he adored.

“Best birthday yet.”

Bonus: The Letter

Happy Birthday brother-o-ours. We want to get to the important stuff, but we need to get some dates out of the way first.

Sometime in late November of 2018, we appeared at the foot of a decrepit looking manor with someone that we promise we’ll explain one day. You were inside that manor, but we had no idea at the time. What we did know was that we had one purpose: find the boys and start being nosy.

In July of this year, we had started hanging out together. Little moments with you and the Googles as we began to feel something that we hadn’t before. Even now we’re kinda struggling on how to say it, but our best guess goes to solidity. We felt attached, and not like we started caring. We’ve always cared for you doofuses. But like, for the first time, someone cared about us back. It wasn’t so much a feeling of being tolerated or given the occasional smile and wave. We felt like we were wanted, attached to the world for the first time, and we didn’t know how to feel about that.

In August, well, the Actor happened. For the first time in our strange lives of unknown length, we were actually directly under the control of someone that we didn’t know. We actually hurt people, and we don’t need to get too into that. Just that it was terrifying and it broke us.

We didn’t know who or what or why we were anymore.

You’ve probably heard us say it, but Dad was the one that gave us a name. We didn’t have a name before this. We were just 0 or pest or you or pathetic excuse. To have a name, to actually have something real that belonged to us filled us with so many emotions that we don’t have time to unpack. But it was you that told us to come back. You, the one who we screwed up the whole situation for, told us to come back. And that meant more than you could ever realize.

We’ve always been the ones to care about someone, even when they’ve had no one. I think you’ve seen that with Dark and the others. Some of us vehemently try to see the good in everyone, and even after all that’s happened, we still feel this way, or at least some of us do. But, when it all went down, we were so scared. We’d always been there for the bad guy, so who would be there when we were the bad guy?

Turns out the answer, besides Oliver and Dad, is you. Someone who knows what it’s like to be confused and freaked out and on the outside of everything. We had no hope for anyone here to accept us after we hurt them, but you did. We don’t know if it was duty or a promise or just that you saw us and realized we needed a pillar, but whatever the case, you came.

You entered our lives as a friend, and when you had to go away, a cold day in late August, you gave us your coat. And you took our heart with you. We had already figured it out, but by this point it was too late to tell you. We love you.

The last few months have gone by in a blur. When we lost you we nearly lost our mind, caused a large amount of panic with our stunts, and then we left our body for a bit. We’ve sat within the Void, which none of us wish to remember again.

But there was something wonderful and amazing to come out of these last three months was that we had something we could finally name. A Family.

A Dad, a Step-Dad, a little bro, shady uncles and aunts, and a Big Brother.

(That’s you by the way. ;)

So, Thank You. Thank you for giving us a chance, thank you for letting us be here to celebrate with you today. Thanks for being there and telling us that you care when no one else did. Thank you for giving us your jacket, and being there so that we could return it. Thanks for looking after Dad and Step-Dad and keeping them in line when we can’t.

We’ll make you proud Mare. That’s a Legion Promise, made of unbreakable love.

Your sibling, now and forever,

The Legion

Submitted by: @englishbreakfastandquills

#natemare #the legion #the host #phantom #sharper #madpat #natewantstobattle #submission

[chispas-and-broken-bindings]

I’m posting a preview of the next chapter of Know The Love - Part II. This chapter is taking me longer to write than I anticipated, and I have a crazy busy week coming up at work, so it is looking less and less likely that I’ll have the full thing posed to Ao3 as soon as I would like. 

So, I thought I’d share the WIP to anyone who follows me on Tumblr, below the cut: 

Sansa relaxed into the hot, spring-fed bath, settling back until only her lips and nose breached the steamy surface. She closed her eyes, remembering.

Jon, what are you trying to tell me? That there's another secret Targaryen, vying for the Iron Throne?

(Not a trueborn Targaryen…)

Stars danced behind her lids.

(And he has no interest in ruling the Seven Kingdoms, I promise you.) What are you saying?

Slipping completely below the water, she let the weight of his secret pull her down.

(I keep telling you…I'm not a Stark. I'm not your brother, Sansa. Trueborn or half.) Stop, Jon. You're the very image of father. (It is not uncommon for a nephew to resemble his uncle.)

Days had passed since Jon's revelation, but her blood still pounded in her ears, hot and heady, like he'd only just told her. It had taken her a foolishly long time to understand what Jon was trying to say as she stared at him across his solar, her eyes flitting helplessly to Lord Reed, who only gazed back, stoic as ever.

(Lord Eddard was my uncle.) But you're too young to be Uncle Brandon's, and Uncle Benjen was too young to be a father…

Jon looked pained as understanding reached her at last. Her chest strained, painfully.

You're Lyanna's...Winter's rose. (Yes.) Stolen by the Dragon Prince. …and Rheagar Targaryen's… (Bastard.)

When he said it, she had been too thrown, too off balance to hear the loathing Jon bit into the word. The ground had shifted beneath her feet, the sky slanting so she was sliding down once more, drowning, and all she had the sense to ask, in a keening breathless voice, was, Who else knows?

"Sansa!" Her name came, muffled, through the water, but when hands disturbed the warm void, grasping at her arms, she woke from her reverie and resurfaced with a gasp. "For heavens sakes, Sansa! Are you trying to scare me witless! I'm already frantic over Theon's trial." She blinked into Jeyne's concerned, fire agate eyes, as rivulets raced down her brow and into her heavy lashes.

"Sorry Jeyne, I was only daydreaming," she sighed.

"I implore you, dream with your head above the water, please." Jeyne stood, shaking her head and frowning at her now soaking sleeves. "You're as bad as Arya used to be when we'd swim in the godswood. She'd challenge the other girls to try and hold their breath as long as she. Once, long after the others had given up, she floated to the surface, face down. When I turned her over, with tears burning my eyes, mind you, Ayra sprang to life, spouting water in my face, cackling like the Crone."

"I was just wetting my hair, not attempting a lark." Sansa squeezed her heavy locks, before twisting them together over the tub's edge, to dry.

"Be that as it may, you are not a fish, Sansa. You won't sprout gills beneath the surface if you stay down too long. You'll drown."

"Duly noted." She closed her eyes again, trying to recall her train of thought, but Jeyne continued prodding.

"Are you feeling well, my lady? You're flushed."

"Of course I'm flushed. I'm poaching in a steaming bath." Irritation seeped into her voice, and she glanced at her friend, contrite. Jeyne did not deserve her sullen mood. Theon's trial was only a few hours away, and Jeyne had stayed awake half the night, fretting over him. Now, she was fretting over Sansa.

"It's only, you haven't seemed entirely yourself, the past few days. You've been-"  Spinning like a top into oblivion? "-distracted."

When Sansa rose, Jeyne and one of her maids came to either side, wrapping her in a robe and helping her step from the copper tub. She laced her fingers through Jeyne's, relaxing her face into an easy smile. "I suppose I'm just tired. In the songs, they always leave out the verses where Jonquil spends her days mediating the lords' petty disputes or counting sacks of grain." Jeyne squeezed back.

"Well, when your Florian returns, you must beseech the king to appoint someone else to those duties. You and your knight will need time to reacquaint yourselves." She winked, playfully, and Sansa's belly dropped. She had no Florian; only an over-eager, impatient heir with more ambition than advantage, and a trail of ruined women behind him…and ahead. He was due back to Winterfell any day, after a decisive victory at the Dreadfort. Her stomach roiled at the thought, but she mustered a smile, nonetheless.

"Alas, the king works harder than us all. He does not deserve a princess who eschews her duties for any knight, especially while she is still wed to another."

Jeyne pushed her to her vanity, where her maids began to dress her. "Where is the romance in that, princess? Think on it. This may be your only chance for a true love affair." Sansa gaped at her friend, scandalized. "And wouldn't it be sweet, to be lovers first, before you are man and wife?" It would not be sweet. She'd had a glimpse at what an affair with Harry would entail, and she saw no appeal, with him.

"I must stay a maid, to annul my marriage to Tyrion," she reminded her friend, who only pursed her lips a moment, before responding.

"There are ways to take a lover and still preserve your maidenhead." Jeyne whispered, and Sansa marveled at the young woman's coy suggestion. After all she had endured, Jeyne had a spirit as hardy and irrepressible as the yellow yarrow that spread across the North in the summer, sprouting wherever the sun kissed the earth, from barrow to marsh, ditch to crag, no matter the quality of the soil or the quantity of rain. It stirred something within Sansa, and her cheeks burned at Jeyne's bold words. She pressed her eyes shut, but it was not the Young Falcon she imagined, standing before her. Grey eyes caught her. A kiss, searing and too brief, whispered across her lips.  See? What consumes you, devastates me too.

I'm not your brother, Sansa.

Her eyes snapped open. She was being foolish, to conflate the Jon she knew before with the Jon she knew now. The Jon who chased her smiling lips with his own down a dark corridor, and burned through her restraint over darker waters, was wooing a different woman. The Jon she knew now had only meant to convey essential information to the only family left to him.

Who else knows? (That lives? Myself. Howland. Now…you. Your father was the only other, as far as we know. Sansa, this is a dangerous secret. The kind that starts wars and kills thousands.)

As if she didn't understand. Only minutes before, the northern lords had packed Jon's solar, railing against two unknown Targaryens, half a world away. She knew how the North viewed the disgraced house. Madmen. Rapists. Inbred Dragonspawn. If they learned that their own king, already holding together a fragile kingdom, was the son of the man who had kidnapped and raped the beloved Lyanna Stark, sparking the flames that led to Brandon and Lord Rickard's deaths and a rebellion that changed the face of Westoros…why, they would turn on Jon like rabid dogs.

Then, why are you telling me? She had asked him, eyes flying again to Howland in desperation.

(No more secrets, remember? We promised.) He had looked at her with such intensity that she was forced to look away once more, imploring Lord Reed for assistance.

If anyone else finds out, you'll lose the North! She turned to Jon. You must remain Ned Stark's son. The lords will never back a Targaryen. The look in Jon's eyes was positively mutinous as his advisor nodded back at her, and she continued to shake her head, in horror.

(You think I don't know that! That's why I'm telling you. You, of all people should know whose claim you are actually backing. There is still time-) No! You are still a Stark. This changes nothing.

But it changed everything. She had fled Jon's solar a short time later, her thoughts too jumbled to handle more than an awkward pledge to keep his secret safe and a hasty word of gratitude that he had entrusted her with his true identity. Only now, after days of strained interactions, and painfully polite run-ins with the king, did she begin to understand. She had asked the wrong questions and offered only the weakest absolution. You are still a Stark. This changes nothing.

-----

Later, she observed him, from a distance, in the Great Hall, as the lords and ladies filtered in for the upcoming trials. The king stood apart, head bowed in discussion with Val, who had returned with the Ironmen held in Torrhen's Square. Though Sansa had never seen a Targaryen in the flesh, Jon had none of their oft-recited characteristics. In the dim light, his dark brown hair and grey eyes appeared as black as the cloak resting on his shoulders, his face as long and drawn as the stone kings of winter standing sentinel deep beneath their feet. It would be easier to believe Ned Dayne was a secret Targaryen, for whatever Prince Rheagar had left Jon, it was buried deep inside.

Now, questions burned at her lips. What really happened to Lyanna? How did Jon come to be raised by Howland Reed? And how long had he known the truth of his birth? And how did he feel about it? How did her father feel about it? And why had he not shared the secret with her mother? Perhaps, these were the questions she should have asked when Jon first told her the truth. Perhaps she should have asked them at any point in the past few days, when the revelation was new and her curiosity would be expected. But, whenever there was a moment where they found themselves alone, her body would rebel with unknowable emotion and her heart would beat in her like a caged bird in her chest, her tongue heavy and thick in her mouth, and she would flee the room before whatever was growing within her, had an opportunity to bloom.

"Princess, are you well?" She startled at Baelish's words, too close, before tilting her eyes away from Jon to the lord beside her.

"Quite, my lord. And you?"

"Quite. They make a stunning pair, do they not?"

"Hm?" She asked, distractedly as Baelish's lips twisted in a knowing smirk.

"Why the king and the wilding princess, of course. Were you not just watching them?" His eyes narrowed, and she flashed Jon and Val another glance, before smiling faintly back at the lord.

"I hadn't noticed where my eyes has settled. I was lost in thought, my lord."

"Hm. Well, still, my questions stands. Would not the wilding princess make a fine wife for your half-beast brother?"

"Half-beast?" She raised an eyebrow. "Be careful with your words, Lord Baelish. There are those that would take offence to you speaking of your king so." Her voice was mild, though, and his green eyes glinted slyly back at her.

"I meant no harm, my Princess. The north will need a fierce, beastly leader to keep its hard-fought independence. Eyes in King's Landing may be turned inward for now, but that cannot last forever…And you still evade my question. What do you think of my match?"

"Val is no princess and Jon has already more or less gained the wildings support. He needs a wife with more to offer."

"Ah. In that case, here comes another enticing option." Sansa followed Baelish's eyes to Lady Wynyfryd Manderly, gliding into the Great Hall in a gown of deep blue, offset by a string of rose pearls gracing her slender neck. She stopped before the king, falling into a graceful curtsy and Sansa watched Jon's eyes sweep down her form with a sour taste in her mouth. "As I understand it, the king in the North has still not fully won over his wealthiest, most well-connected lord. There can be no argument against the advantages in him marrying the Manderly maid."

Satin caught Sansa's eye across the hall, gesturing for her to take her place. "Excuse me, my lord, it looks like the trial will soon commence."

Before she could extricate herself, however, Baelish leaned close, whispering, "Careful little bird. He is your brother. Unnatural relations have toppled kingdoms more stable than his." She pulled away, her heart racing and legs weak.

I am not your brother, Sansa.

He should never have told her.  

----

She barely registered the accusations against Asha Greyjoy, Theon's sister, and the leader of the Ironborn who invaded Deepwood Motte and were defeated by Alyssane Mormont. Beside her, the king sat, just as in the previous trial, but this time his hand did not bridge the distance between them, nor did she reach out for him. Instead, she sat, staring out at the accused, yet seeing nothing. She was frightened. Littlefinger already watched them with suspicious eyes, and now she suspected Jon's secret was writ across her face every time she looked at the king. He should never have told her. It was hard enough to see him as her brother when she believed it to be true. Now, she didn't know how to meet his eyes.

She was snapped to attention when Asha Greyjoy was given a chance to answer to the charges against her.

"I'll take the black." She called out, with a wry smirk.

Sansa felt Jon's eyes light on her, but she stared straight ahead, so he responded. "There are no women in the Night's Watch."

"Well then, I choose freedom." The crowd chittered, and once again Jon tried to catch Sansa's eye before Asha continued. "I heard you let the Frey men, men who aided in raping women and mutilating children, choose the black, yet I, who simply held a castle that had been abandoned by its lord, and kept my men from harming a single hair on an innocent's head, am not afforded the same opportunity? Because I don't have a cock between my legs?"  Gasps from the crowd. "Where is the honor in that?"

"And if we banish you from the North, you'll only return one day to raid our lands again. It's a tired tale. The Ironborn's broken promises." Jon called.

"Well then. I suppose you'll have to take me as a thrall…though again, I thought the North was too honorable for an arrangement so close to slavery." Her tone was mocking, and Sansa looked closer at the Ironborn woman. She was lean and long legged, in black breeches, her short black hair, tied loosely at her neck, revealing a thin face and a hawkish nose, tempered by a wickedly impertinent grin. "I suppose you have only two options left, Wolf King. Take off my head or take me to bed."

Again, the crowd chittered, and Sansa burned. The Greyjoy captive was making a mockery of their justice.

"As fascinating as your offer is," Jon answered, "the wolf is not tempted by the squid." The crowd truly laughed this time, but he rose, cutting them off. "Asha Greyjoy, you are hereby fined five thousand gold dragons. Until which time the debt is paid in full, you are forbidden from leaving our lands. You are free to live and to earn your repayment by any lawful means, though if you should break our laws again, I will be taking your head."

The Hall stood silent now, and Sansa hazarded a glance in the king's direction. His face was calm but stern, and there was no uncertainty to find on his face. After a moment he nodded to Maege, who prodded her men-at-arms to action, cutting away the Greyjoy's wrist binds.

"And what of my men?" Asha asked, before she could be fully dismissed from the Hall.

"I suggest they choose the black," was all Jon offered before holding a hand out to Sansa. "Bring the other Greyjoy. We'll resume shortly." Sansa stood, and let herself be led into the privacy of the gallery.

"Are you well, my Princess?" He asked, as soon as the door closed behind them.

"What…yes, of course. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" She couldn't meet his eye. He was standing too close. She could feel herself flushing. Everything was flushing. She tried to step away, but his hand was at her elbow.

"You lie." He murmured, low, and why was she so warm? "It upsets you. That I'm not a Stark."

"You are a Stark." She snapped, still trying to pull away subtly, but he only led her closer to the checkered windows.

"Sansa," His words came out in an anguished flood. "My grandfather murdered your uncle and grandfather. My father raped your aunt. You have every right to be upset. I'll give up the crown. Just say the words and I'll make you queen. I'll leave the north. Just tell me what you want me to do." He didn't understand anything, and he was standing too close.

"Jon!" She hissed. "You are not my enemy. Your grandfather murdered your uncle and grandfather as well! Your father…" Why must he be so obtuse? "Lyanna Stark was your mother. You are a Stark, regardless of who your father was. I've already told you, this changes nothing. You are King in the North! I want you to be king." It felt like her veins were lifting from her body.

"Then why can't you look at me? Why do you flinch every time I draw near? You hate that I'm a Targaryen. Admit it. It is I who should be standing before you in the Great Hall, to answer for the crimes of my family." A shiver ran down her spine and she pulled away once more, trying to think of anything that wouldn't reveal her true thoughts.

"You are mistaken." She blinked up at him, trying to disprove his point, and it would be so much easier if he weren't looking at her like he was; like her words mattered, like her opinions mattered. And it would also be easier too, if he didn't have so much power over her, she admitted weakly to herself; if she didn't notice the breadth of his shoulders as he leaned closer, or the way his lashes seemed impossibly long around his smoky grey eyes.

#know the love #part ii #wip excerpt #jonsa fic #jonsa fanfiction

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 040

Last time, Bulma got captured by aliens.  The good news is that it’s not that kind of anime, but the bad news is that it’s still anime, so she spends the whole episode stealth cosplaying Ellen Ripley in Alien.

Also, the aliens holding guns on the gang are all frightened children, so that makes things a little awkward.

They narrowly escaped a bunch of space invaders, and they think Krllin, Gohan, and Bulma are part of that group.   This assumption gets dumber the more we find out about the bad guys.   For openers, I’m pretty sure alien marauders wouldn’t wear a knit shirt that looks like it came out of my little brother’s closet back when he was five.   Bulma’s not dressed at all, which seems pretty un-menacing, and Gohan’s even younger than all of these refugees.

Krillin tells Gohan to power up, since it looks like they’ll have to fight their way out of this, but then a little girl runs up and kicks him in the shin.  Who’s the real alien monster here, I ask you?   Not Krillin, that’s for sure.

The boys in charge decide they have to kill their prisoners, since they must be working for some guy named “Frieza.”    Typical filler episode, introducing characters and concepts that’ll never get mentioned again.

Despite all the guns, the kids are reluctant to actually kill anyone, and then an alarm goes off.   Turns out the ship flew into a field of meteors.    Okay, I don’t want to sound like a killjoy, but stuff like this bugs me in outer space stories.   Space is huge, and so are asteroid fields, meteor showers, whatever.   Typically, every fictional spaceship has a seemingly all-seeing sensor array, which can detect anything that happens outside and throw an alarm.   But the damn thing never actually alarms until they’re already in danger.  If you think about the guy designing the ship, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to alert the crew before they got close enough to hit something?    Because, again, space is huge.   However they ran into this obstacle, they’ve been heading towards it for a long time.

On the other hand, the bridge is being staffed by more frightened children, so that probably explains a lot about their crappy protocols.   Someone probably put the red alert klaxon in silent mode because it interrupted their screening of “Frozen”.    Kids, am I right?    Well, this isn’t one of your video games.   This is real life, and you only get one life in this “stage”.   So I suggest you unlock a new achievement by putting away your smartphones and doing some hard work for a change.

Sorry, I was trying to mock grumpy old people on Facebook, but I ended up disgusting myself.   What frightens me is that there’s probably people younger than I am who will eventually talk like that.    Hell, some of them probably already do.  Some idiot at my job put a printout on the bulletin board that had some quote about working hard, and it was attributed to Thomas Jefferson, and it took all my willpower not to write on it “Jefferson owned slaves.     He literally forced other people to do his work for him.”   But chances are he never even said the quote.  

Anyway, these kids are clearly out of their depth, is my point.

Back on Earth, Goku’s in the hospital, and he’s freaking out because the doctor’s going to stick him with a needle.  The doctor gives him that horseshit about how Goku’s being a baby because he hasn’t even stuck him yet.  Yeah, he knows that, stupid.   He’s upset because you’re going to stick him with a needle, because he doesn’t like needles.   If you had already done it, he wouldn’t care, because it would be over. 

I mean, seriously, fuck this guy.  Goku got crushed half-to-death by a giant ape.   The pain isn’t the issue here.   He doesn’t like the idea of having a thin piece of metal jabbed into his veins.   It’s the idea of it, that’s the problem.    Honestly, for me, the worst part about giving blood is when they prep my arm, and then later when I can feel the tube laying on my arm, and it’s warm.   Would it kill them to put a towel or something under it so it wouldn’t feel as weird?    Has that been an option all along and I just didn’t know to ask?    Maybe I could move it over myself, but no way in hell do I want to look in the general direction of that arm while the business is happening.  Would I pass out at the sight of the tube?   Maybe not, but I refuse to find out the hard way.   I’ll ask God when I die.    Is that weird?    A lot of things in life just don’t have answers available, and I console myself by thinking I can just do a Q&A with God in the afterlife.   The Almighty might refuse to tell me, but at least then I’d know that it’s just impossible for me to find out, and that’s sort of comforting in a way. 

Chi-Chi shames Goku in public, but that’s totally different.   The doctor’s supposed to show some compassion and make Goku feel better.   Chi-Chi, on the other hand, is clearly doing some sort of kink thing that only she and Goku know about.    Look at that face.    That is a thirsty man, right there.

Back in space, Bulma wants to bug out while they still can, but Krillin and Gohan want to help the kids.  

Of course, there’s not a whole lot martial artists can do in a situation like this, but the boys can lift stuff, so they do.

Bulma then gets frustrated with the ship’s pilot and takes over for him.  

Kid, if looks could kill...

She mostly works out the controls on her own, and snaps at a kid whenever she gets stuck.

For some reason the helm control looks like a keyboard, which seems a bit complicated.   It looks more like Bulma is coding a program instead of directly controlling the ship.    Anyway, her fingers are just flying on that keyboard.   Definitely a rare hero moment for Bulma 

Meanwhile, Gohan shoots something with a Masenko.   Not sure how that’s a good idea on a spaceship, but good hustle, Gohan.

Then, after Bulma flies them to safety, the kids still draw their guns on her, and accuse her of working for Frieza.   Look, the thing is, Frieza doesn’t even have any women on his team.     Unless this is some fandom AU where he’s surrounded by OC consorts, in which case I guess a blue-haired lady in her undies would fit right in.  “Yes, you certainly did an.... adequate job piloting this vessel, my dear.    However, I have other duties for you now... of the bedroom variety.”   “As you command, my lord.”   You still don’t need to hold a gun on her, though.

Can I just say that Bulma looks ri-friggin’-diculous in this episode?    Who was this for, exactly?   I mean, she looks normal for the style of this show, but that doesn’t lend itself to fanservice at all.   Like, her left arm looks okay, and the rest of her is all boxy and weird.  It’s like a self-hating hentai dude commissioned this.    He wanted to see Bulma in her underwear, but he didn’t want to enjoy it.   Oh, and I just noticed her weird baby hand.  Yeesh.

One of the kids is convinced that Krillin and Gohan are bad guys because they have super powers, but the ones who saw them help out know better.    I guess Bulma looks a little closer to the “sexy cartoon woman” style here, but I don’t think the fanservice crowd would settle for a shot like this.  

So now that everyone’s friends, the kids explain how their planet was invaded by guys working for some dork named “Frieza”, and their leader was apparently Cui, who we’ll meet a few episodes later.    Krillin finds the story similar to how the Saiyans operated, but the kids say their attackers didn’t have tails.    To be fair, Vegeta has no tail either, at the moment, but whatever.

The adults on the planet were slaughtered to clear the land for Frieza’s use, but they managed to evacuate the children onto spaceships.

But Frieza’s men chased them all down, except for this one, which was chrome-plated.    Apparently this was all they had to do for camouflage?   Seems a little fishy to me.

I don’t understand why the parents sent their kids off in spaceshps without sending at least some adults along to take care of them.   They just tossed them on a ship full of guns and booby traps and no one knows how to fly it, and that was their plan?    Maybe there was an adult pilot, and he got killed at some point.   The Earthlings ask them where they’re headed, and they explain that there’s another planet where they think they’ll be taken in.    You’d think Bulma would offer to double-check their heading, or at least teach them how to fly their own ship so they don’t run into any more trouble, but nah.

When he finds out they’re going to Namek, the refugee leader gives them coordinates for a shortcut, and Bulma rushes off to make use of it.   You know these are just children, right?   Their own shortcut took them through an asteroid field, so maybe you shouldn’t be following their advice too closely.

Then we cut to Planet Frieza No. 79.    Is this the same planet the kids came from?   It’d tie things together nicely, I suppose.  

Frieza’s men detect Vegeta’s ship coming in for a landing, so they send out guys to meet him.   One of them is a dog, and the other looks suspiciously like Sam Guthrie from the New Mutants.

But he doesn’t get out of the pod, and this raises some questions.   First, where’s Nappa?   Second, who wrecked Vegeta’s shit?

So they slap him in a regeneration tank.   It’ll heal him faster than the treatment Goku is currently getting, but let’s remember that it took Vegeta 18 days to get here, so he’s probably in even worse shape than he was in when he left Earth. Also, the healing tank isn’t exactly a quick process.

Get used to this shot, is what I’m saying.

In space, Bulma takes the ship on the shortcut to Namek, and this leads them into the opening of a Looney Toons short.  I hope it’s not a Foghorn Leghorn one.   Those aren’t as good.

There’s some space turbulence, and Bulma ends up landing in Krillin’s lap, so she slaps him for copping a feel.   Why is she still undressed?   

Doesn’t matter, because they’ve finally reached Namek!   And it looks... a little paler than usual...

Bulma finally puts some clothes on and it looks like we can finally get this thing started.

But in her haste to check out the planet, she never notices the ship’s computer, which has a flashing red warning.    Aw, probably the check-engine light.    She can take it to an Auto Zone on the way back.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #bulma #krillin #gohan #cui #vegeta #the orphans had names but i'm not bothering to look them up #goku #chi chi #namek saga

[p-artsypants]

320 State Street- 3 (May 2)

AO3 | FF.net     Part 2

This chapter is a bit longer. But we meet an important character.

—

“I need pizza.” The man spoke with a heavy accent.

An interesting request for a hardware store, to be sure.

“Um…we don’t sell pizza?” Astrid didn’t think she had to explain that. Considering the cement statues in the front and the full shelf of paint right behind the man. “There’s a pizzeria down the street.”

“Ndio, pizza.” He nodded. The man was very dark in complexion and wore a flat hat and a heavy coat, despite it being May. He was obviously from somewhere in Africa.  

Hiccup came up to the counter, holding a box of nails and screws. “How’s it going up here?”

She glanced over at him, then back to the man, “Do you speak English?”

“No no no pizza,” he enunciated.

Hiccup set the box down and replied to the man with words that Astrid couldn’t repeat if she wanted to.

The other man lit up and responded in kind. The two conversed quickly and with ease, and Hiccup beckoned that man back into the store and talked with him the whole way. All Astrid could do was sit in awe and wait for them to return.

And when they did, the man brought a blade for a circular saw.

Confused further, Astrid rang up the purchase while Hiccup translated.

The man paid with a card, and then thanked her with a nod of the head, “Asante.”

“Karibu.” Hiccup whispered to her.

She parroted it, and the man grinned and left the store.

After he departed, Hiccup resumed business as usual.

“Um, what was that?”

“What was what?”

“That! You spoke perfect—whatever language he was speaking!”

He laughed, “It was simple Swahili, easy.”

Her shoulders rose, “so you’re an expert on prosthetics and you speak African? What else can you do? Play the fiddle?”

“…my dad can.”

“There’s no end to the mystery of you, Henry Haddock.” She shook her head. “Wait, was the Pygmies in Africa story true then?”

He scoffed, “not hardly. I lost my leg during a dog fight.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious.”

“You’ll know.” He grinned, “And to answer your unasked question, I spent a lot of my childhood in Tanzania.”  

“Oh, okay.” She shrugged, that still didn’t answer a lot.

The door rang. Tuff was back from his delivery.

“I’ve returned! Did everyone miss me?”

“No,” Astrid stated, straight-laced.

He deflated. “Harsh, Hoff, harsh.” He shook his head.

“While you’re here,” Astrid spoke to Hiccup, “I remembered I need to get some mealworms. Can you ring me out?”

“Oh sure.” He agreed.

She found the food easily and brought it up.

“I didn’t know you were one of those bird people,” he laughed.

“Just one bird, my sweet Stormfly.”

“Oh, parakeet? Canary?”

“Blue and Yellow Macaw.”

He looked surprised for a moment before stating, “I also have an exotic pet.”

“What?”

“A panther,” he cheeked.

“Oh ha ha.” She rolled her eyes.

“I have a komodo dragon!” Tuff shouted.

Astrid was startled for two seconds before Hiccup corrected, “you have a bearded dragon.”

“Psh, a dragon is a dragon.”

—

One hour to go. Closing was time was just around the corner and Saturday night meant date night for Astrid. It would be the first time she’d see Scott in person in two weeks. It was emotionally draining having the opposite schedule to her boyfriend, but when they finally had a chance to be together, it was like they were never apart.  

If she could just get through this hour.

Currently, it was just Gobber, Hiccup and Astrid remaining in the store. Tuff had finished everything he needed to do and Gobber sent him home before he started to break stuff.

Gobber was in the back, no doubt making another mess that Hiccup would have to clean. Astrid stood behind the counter, googling how to fix a stereo, since the only one they had in the shop was broken and Gobber refused to buy a new one. Every once in a while, she glanced over to Hiccup who stood a few feet way from her on a ladder.

The more the boy stretched, the less interesting her phone became. He’d reach over to place something in a drawer, and his shirt would raise just enough to see the band of his underwear and a sliver of skin.

She shook her head. Honestly, she was seeing another man, and if she was being frank, she’d been intimate with him a handful of times. Times too long ago to find comfort in, though.

His butt looked really nice in those jeans.

Hiccup reached to the left, putting his weight on his peg leg. The drawer was just a little too far, and if he raised his other foot just a little, then maybe—

His foot slipped. The box of screws in his hand went flying.

Astrid only heard him yelp before he fell. The back of his head slammed against the back of the counter and he folded into a heap on the floor. Thankfully, the glass didn’t break.

“Hiccup!” Astrid was immediately by him, examining him.

It only took a few seconds for him to groan and blink up at her. “Astrid?”

“You fell,” she explained as she helped him sit up.

Gobber ran out of the back room. “I saw the whole thing! Do I need to call an ambulance?”

Hiccup stood on wobbly legs and rubbed the back of his head. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just a bump.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Astrid argued. She made him lean forward on the counter while she inspected the back of his head. “You’re bleeding, but only a tad. No need for stitches.”

“See? I’m fine.”

“Hardly. Look at me.”

He did.

She held out her index finger. “Follow my finger with your eyes.” As she moved it in front of him, he was sluggish to respond. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was putting away a quarter inch wood screw, I think…I know I was on the ladder.”

“Yeah, but can you remember?”

“Yes.”

She nodded, “okay. I definitely think you have a concussion.”

He groaned.

“You don’t have any memory loss, but you did black out for a few seconds.”

Gobber looked at his watch. “Why don’t you take him home lass, I can close up early.”

“Me?” She asked, put off.

“Fishlegs doesn’t get out for another two hours and it’ll take Gobber some time to close everything up.” Hiccup stated, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Okay okay, I can take you home. Where do you live?”

“Out by the Bridge.” The town of Berk was a relatively decent sized. Gobber’s store was located right in the middle of the town. To the west was Lake Michigan, to the east, farm, field and rural housing. The south was the Bridge, home to wealthy business owners and summer homes to Chicago residents. And the north housed the Harbor, once a separate town that went completely bankrupt and now was low income, high crime. Also, home to Astrid’s dinky apartment. The college was North East, close to the Harbor, but still in the boondocks.

“Like, how far passed the Bridge?”

“By the nuclear plant.”

“Oh come on, that’s like twenty minutes away!”

“Fine, then I’ll just sit here on the couch until Fishlegs gets out. Don’t worry about it.”

Astrid shook her head. “No…I’ll take you home. I may not be a registered nurse, but it’s better than you sitting home by yourself.”

“Thanks Astrid, I really appreciate you—it. This.” He flinched.

She smirked. “Alright, let’s give your keys to Fishlegs and then we’ll get you home.”

—

Hiccup slid into the leather seat with ease, kicking twenty water bottles and a trashcan worth of receipts out of his way.

“Sorry, I really need to clean my car.”

He laughed, a sound that warmed her heart. “You should see my desk!”

“Since I’m taking you home, I think I will. Just to make myself feel better.”

“Nooo!”

She turned the key, and the jeep whined but didn’t start. Astrid frowned, and started it again. This time it sputtered before shaking and then roaring to life.

“Uh…”

“It does that sometimes.” Astrid commented, putting it in drive. “Where to?”

“South, over the bridge and past the nuclear plant.”

“Right right, okay.”

She pulled out of the lot and drove out of town. Now that they were trapped together for twenty minutes, all conversation seemed to leave them. “I’d, uh, put some music on, but my radio doesn’t work, and the only CD I have in the car is a Disney Princess CD.”

“…and?”

—

“A WHOLE NEW WORLD~!!”

“Don’t you dare close your eyes~!”

“A HUNDRED THOUSAND THINGS TO SEE!!”

Hiccup learned something important about Astrid that day. While she was a beautiful, intelligent, graceful creature, she couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

“So there’s the nuclear plant,” she stated, coming out of her solo.

“Okay, so there’s going to be a wooden fence coming up, take the second driveway, down the little path.”

She nodded, and sure enough a fence came up.

“Right where this ‘No Trespassing’ sign is?”

“Yep!”

She continued down the winding dirt road until she got to a tunnel. “Wait a second!” She slammed on the brakes.

His head slammed against the headrest. “Ow! What!?”

“This is the Melonhead place!”

Hiccup turned in his seat and looked her in the eyes. “WHAT?!”

“The Melonheads!” She shouted.

“Stop screaming!” He screamed. “What are you talking about!?”

She rolled her eyes, “this is where the Melonheads live.”

“The-the what?”

She shook her head and sat back in her seat, “during the 1950’s, there was a leak from the nuclear plant into the surrounding neighborhoods, and everyone’s brains swelled and pressed against their skulls. Then their brains kept growing and deformed their heads. So they were all crazy and if you went through this tunnel they’d attack you and chase you out. So, naturally, we’d come down here at night and ‘hunt’ for them. AKA, sit in the car with the lights on.”

An astounded look came over his face. “Seriously? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh come on, don’t me you didn’t do it in high school.”

“I was homeschooled for high school. Actually, uh, all of school, in a way.”

Astrid flopped back against her seat. “Unbelievable.”

Then, Hiccup sat up suddenly, his head injury forgotten. “Wait! If you know Fishlegs, then you must know Eret!”

“Eret ‘body like Dwayne the Rock Johnson’ Eretson? Sure, who didn’t?”

Something unspoken was horrendously funny as Hiccup scrunched up his face and shook with giggles.

“Okay, what is it?”

“Just drive through, and all will be explained.”

So Astrid pulled in through the tunnel, wary, and on the other side, the one way road continued back in a winding trail lined with thick woods. He pointed to a house, “That’s where the high school principal lives.”

“Huh, I’ve been looking for that woman’s house to TP for years.”

He pointed to another one, “This is a summer home for our friend Gerard.”

“Gerard? Like…”

“Gerard Butler.”

She slammed on the brakes again, “You know Gerard Butler?! Like, ‘Phantom of the Opera’ Gerard Butler?!”

“And by association, Jay Baruchel.”

“Holy shit!”

He chuckled, “Astrid please, I know a lot of people.”

They continued down the road, and Hiccup pointed out houses of celebrities, famous authors, directors, and prominent business owners. “Now, this is Eret’s house.” The house itself was concealed by trees, but had a long driveway that led to it, and the lake. “They have a dock that they let us and Fishleg’s family use for launching our fishing boats.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with the Melonheads?”

“I’m getting to it!”

As they started to circle back around to the tunnel, Hiccup pointed. “Fishlegs lives here, and I live…here. Two houses away from the tunnel.”

The house was on a hill, and a huge porch looked over the road, not to mention the canopy of trees. You could probably get a great view of the lake. She turned in the driveway.

“So, back in like…I don’t know, freshmen year? It was pretty soon after I lost my leg…Eret gathered me, Fishlegs, and our friend Cami together and said he wanted to scare some friends of his with the tunnel. He told us to dress up like zombies and come towards them from this side of the tunnel. So, Fishlegs being the…cautious type, made us wear helmets in case something backfired. Cami, on the other hand, borrowed her dad’s chainsaw. And I let my leg fall off as I was walking. We’ve done it like, three times a year since then. There’s some high school kids that come looking for us now, but I didn’t know we had a name.”

Astrid stopped in front of the grand manor and silently turned off the engine. She sat, staring ahead and chewing her tongue. “I don’t believe it.”

“I mean, did you think the Melonheads actually existed? Because, if there was a leak at the plant it would have gone a lot farther than—“

Astrid whipped around and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! I’m already in pain! Why do you do this?!”

“Do you know how many nightmares I had after that?!”

“You were there?!”

“Of course I was! And I begged people not to go every time someone went hunting! It became a huge thing! All this time it was just you and Fishlegs in football helmets! I was terrified by a bunch of nerds!”

He laughed, “you weren’t the only one! There were a lot of screams when Cami turned on the chainsaw.”

She shook her head again and got out of the car. “If you didn’t have an concussion, I would tackle you and beat you into the ground.”

He paused for a moment, rubbing the bump on his head. “I don’t know which is worse, because honestly this hurts...real bad.”

“Then stop touching it! Lunkhead.”

Hiccup scoffed, but got out of the jeep. The house was definitely bigger than her parents house, and looked like the perfect place for a summer getaway. It wasn’t overly ornate or look to hold more than five bedrooms. But still, it had an eclectic flair. Very angular and lots of windows with a stone and wood facade.  

“Is this one of those houses by that one guy?”

“What guy?”

“Lloyd…something.”

“Frank Lloyd Wright?”

“Yeah! That guy!”

“As a matter of fact, it is!”

Astrid nodded in appreciation, then muttered under her breath, “Damn rich people.”

Hiccup snickered at her and went to his garage. He threw himself bodily against the service door to open it.

“Umm…?”

“It sticks.” He shrugged.

In the double garage, a motorcycle, half finished, sat off to the side.

“Looks like dad’s staying late tonight,” Hiccup commented, noting the lack of vehicles. “Maybe it’s for the best so that I don’t have another nagging lecture about being careful.”

“Was the first after your leg?” She asked, brow raised.

He chuckled, “no, that was the eightieth one.”

He unlocked the door and entered in a hallway where he skillfully kicked off his boot. “Please take your shoes off, my mom is really anal about scuffs on the floor.”

“No prob.” She snickered.

“What’s so funny?”

“Do you have to put a tennis ball on your peg leg? You know, scuffs on the floor.”

He pointedly ignored her.

The hall was short, and only had a laundry room, and a double staircase.  

“Toothless! I’m home!” He called, walking up the short stairs.

She followed, looking at the vast cultural decor. The inside of the house looked like a cabin, as the walls and ceiling were made of logs, except the West wall which was all windows, and she could see out to the porch. She was right, it was a perfect view of Lake Michigan. She followed Hiccup into the main room, which had a wood floor and slanted ceiling. The Kitchen was a little bit further on the right and cut into the porch. It was surrounded with windows. Past it, was a stone fireplace. Next to the fireplace, there was a half step a a grand piano in the corner. Then there was the front door, followed by a couch along the wall, as well as one in the middle of the room facing a cabinet and glass coffee table.

“Make yourself at home, I’m going to see if we have a frozen bag of peas.”

“Okay,” she replied, absentmindedly as she took in everything. “Do you play the piano?”

“I can. I’m not Mozart, but you give me a week and a mp3, I can figure it out.”

“Cool.”

There were a lot of family photos. A portrait of the family, with a younger Hiccup, hung above the mantle. Dad Haddock looked friendly and intimating at the same time. His flaming red beard and massive size really made the ‘Police Chief’ title real. Mom Haddock looked very kind with bright green eyes, chestnut hair, and high cheek bones.

She continued to study the room.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Pop? A cold brewsky?” Hiccup called from the kitchen.

“Water’s fine.”

The decor looked African, and it made sense since he said he grew up in Tanzania. There were wooden masks and other hand carved statues of elephants and giraffes scattered about in the corners and on tables. Lots of zig-zag patterns on blankets and pillows on the couch.

Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling where a stuffed panther sat on a beam.

“So, when your family was in Africa, were they big game hunters?”

“No, my mom’s a Missionary.”

“Oh…then how’d you get the…” Her sentence fell short as she noticed the calculated swishing of the Panther’s tail. It was alive, and it was looking at her.

She screamed bloody murder.

The panther leapt from it’s perch and landed on the floor in front of her with grace.

She continued to scream.

“Astrid! What’s wrong!?” Hiccup barreled into the room with a broom in one hand and a bag of frozen peas in the other. But he relaxed as soon as he saw the cat. “Oh, I see you’ve met Toothless.”

Astrid took the opportunity to leap over the couch, like it would do any good. “What the actual hell Henry Haddock!?”

Hiccup dropped his weapon and sat on the floor as Toothless nuzzled against his side affectionately. “I told you I had a panther.”

“I didn’t think you were being literal! I thought you meant you had a black cat! Like, domestic house cat!”

“Oh he is a domestic house cat! He’s just a big baby!” He scratched under Toothless’ chin and rubbed his cheek between his ears.

“Is it even legal to own a panther?”

“Not usually,” he admitted. “But I have very special permission from the Department of Natural Resources. Toothless can’t survive in the wild and he gets anxious without me.”

Astrid relaxed when the cat flopped on the ground, belly up. “How on earth did you…you know, get him?”

He looked at Toothless, then at his leg, then finally at her. “It’s a really long and complicated story.”

“I am watching you for a few hours. We might as well chat.”

Hiccup sat with her on the couch while Toothless stretched across the back of it.

“So, my mom’s a missionary in Tanzania.”

“Right.”

“I was actually born over there. I lived in a village called Kanganya until I was five, then we came to the US, then just mom and I went back when I was 8. I found Toothless as a cub one day, while I was out exploring the woods. You know…like kids do. I think I was pretending to be a pirate or something. Anyways, Mom always told me to be careful out there, but I was such a bad kid. I never listened.”

“Was?”

He gave her a flat look before continuing. “His mom had been killed by poachers. Her fur was pretty dark, not as dark Toothless’, but worthless to people how want the iconic leopard spots. Mom and I think they killed her to take her cubs, since leopard cubs are a commodity on the black market. But they didn’t take Toothless since he had black fur. Instead, they tried to kill him too. When I found him, he was curled under his mom’s paw, and bleeding horribly. His teeth had been knocked out, too. Hence, the name Toothless. If I hadn’t been dangerously curious, I wouldn’t have found him.”

While he spoke, Toothless started to sniff her, then occasionally licked behind her ear. Astrid tensed every time.

“I brought him home and showed him to mom, and we cleaned him up the best we could. You know, like every kid bring home a injured bird or rabbit.”

“Yeah, and you just happened to bring home a carnivore. No difference.”

“A man from the village said even if he made it, he wouldn’t be able to survive in the wild without a mother since he was so young. And so we nursed him back to full health and to an age where he could handle everything on his own.” He snickered and played with his tail. “Only he didn’t. We turned him loose in the jungle, and then that night, he came home and sat patiently at the door, waiting to come in. Everyday, mom would put him outside, and he just stayed around the house instead of running away. He never really learned how to be a leopard, instead, he watched the dogs in the village and acted like them…sort of. A little bit of both, I think.”

“Seems like he adopted you guys as his family.”

“That’s exactly what happened.”

Toothless’ tail would stray from the couch and tickle under Hiccup’s chin. Each time, Hiccup would grab it and put it over to the other side of the couch. It was becoming apparent that he was doing it on purpose. Though Hiccup’s irritation was obvious, he did nothing to stop it.

“Leopards weren’t really a favorite animal in the village, since the whole…you know, livestock thing…but everyone seemed to like him well enough. He caught mice and rodents for food, and one time caught a boar and brought it to the village for everyone to share. Everyone loved him after that.”

Astrid finally felt adventurous enough to pet the leopard. Toothless affectionately nudged her back, appreciating the pats. “So, how did you get him here? I’m sure that just batting your big green eyes and saying, ‘pretty please?’ probably didn’t work.”

He blushed, a coy smile on his face. “You can tell my eyes are green?”

She blushed slightly too, “who can’t? They’re freaking huge!” She shook her head, “continue.”

“So…fast forward to age 14. Toothless and I are frolicking in a field, doing as boys do, and I felt the most intense pain in my leg that I have ever felt. Now, let me clarify. I have gotten third degree burns, stitches, broken bones, and my cousin punched me in the face and knocked one of my teeth out. None of those even came close to how much that hurt. I looked down, and there was a puff adder clamped on my ankle.”

“Is that a snake?”

“Yeah, it’s a super poisonous snake. But it’s venom is really slow, so it kills slowly but surely.”

Astrid cringed.

“After I got bit, I don’t remember a lot, but I know I started back to the village, but I probably only made it a few steps before I fell. I remember seeing Toothless run off and assuming that he got scared of the snake and left. But mom said he came barreling into the church, where he wasn’t allowed, right in the middle of a meeting, and grabbed mom’s dress in his mouth and started tugging. Everyone else was freaking out, because…you know live panther in the church, but mom knew something was wrong immediately. So she called everyone she could and followed Toothless in the jeep, because no one could keep up with him.”

Astrid was highly invested at this point as she clutched a pillow to her chest.

“They took me to the village and the doctor there did what he could, but I had to be airlifted to a hospital like, an hour away by Kenya. They treated me there, dubbed me untreatable for them once gangrene started to set in, and then shipped me off to the US, where they ended up cutting off my leg. The whole time, Toothless was by my side.”

Astrid stared at him, wide-eyed. “They let a panther into a hospital?”

He chuckled, pushing Toothless’ tail out of his face once again. “You try telling a panther what to do.”

She shrugged, “fair enough.”

“Well, once we got to the US, they became a lot more strict about him being there, you know…not letting him in the operating room. Which is totally understandable. If my mom hadn’t been there, someone might have gotten mauled.”

Astrid widened her eyes. “Seriously?”

“But because she was there, Toothless sat in the waiting room for hours. He didn’t eat or sleep, he just sat there, head in his paws.”

“Aww…”

“During that time, he met my dad, who didn’t share my mom’s enthusiasm for me owning a big cat, but he got over it when he heard the story. Right after I lost my leg, I was still in critical condition and no one was allowed to see me. Toothless stopped eating all together and started pulling his hair out, which are textbook signs of anxiety.”

Astrid looked to Toothless and scratched under his chin. He warbled in appreciation.

“Finally, they let him stay with me in the room to help me recover. It was only a couple hours later that I woke up.”

Toothless stood from his place on the couch and came around the front, laying himself in Hiccup’s lap.

“Long story short, he saved my life.”

“That’s…amazing. He’s amazing.”

“And heavy.” Hiccup commented, trying to free himself of the beast. “Come on Bud, let’s get you something to eat.”

Astrid followed behind, dutifully. But Hiccup seemed to be doing just fine. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts, but the peas help.” He set them down on the counter as he went to the fridge. The bottom drawer was filled with paper packages, that she knew were raw steaks.

“He eats steak?”

“We tried to give him cat food, but he didn’t like it. Sometimes he goes outside and catches mice and squirrels, but this was the best meal for a growing cat.”

“Must…uh, must be pretty expensive…”

“You would think!” He unwrapped the package and put it in an oversized food bowl on the floor. “But I found a butcher who gives me all of his steaks that are about to go bad for an extreme discount. He likes that they don’t have to go to waste.”

“That’s cool!” She smiled.

The conversation lulled and Astrid ground her toe into the floor.

“Uh, wanna watch a movie?” He suggested.

“Sorry, if you have a concussion, you shouldn’t do anything the strains your eyes like T.V. or video games. We really shouldn’t have been listening to music either.”

“Oh…”

She grinned, “I believe you have a messy desk to show me.”  

“Nooooo…” he groaned.

“Its either that, or we could gossip about our co-workers.”

He chuckled, “don’t we do that anyway?”

“Your desk, monsieur.”

He sighed, “Okay, why not!” He lead her back down the hall, down the stairs, and then down the second flight of stairs. “So, this is my parents room,” he gestured to the doors, “guest room one, grandpa’s room when he comes to visit, my room, and the bathroom is passed that, and then the door to the basement is at the end of the hall.” He opened his door a smidge, “be warned, it’s a mess.”

‘A mess’ wasn’t even remotely close. The room didn’t even look like it had been lived in. The far wall, like upstairs, was all windows, but at this height, the view was of the trees. Everything had it’s own place, to a chest at the foot of the bed, to the looming filling cabinet next to the expansive mahogany desk. A Celtic rug covered the hardwood floor.

“If I had known I was going to have someone over, I would have cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up what?! There’s nothing messy about this!” She looked over the desk, and saw stacks of books and papers strewn everywhere. “Except the desk, that’s a little, tiny, ever so slightly cluttered.”

He chuckled, “if you think this is clean, then don’t go in my dad’s room. It looks like a hotel room.”

She shook her head in amazement. “Is your mom currently in Africa?”

“Yeah?”

“Amazing.”

“What?”

“Two men, living on their own, and their house is immaculately clean. You could give a few lessons to Gobber.”

Hiccup bristled. “Don’t even get me started on the store!”

Suddenly, Astrid’s phone went off. It was Scott.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“6:30.”

She answered her phone. “Hey! I thought we were meeting at Papa Vinos at 8?”

Hiccup watched as her face went from pleasant, to confused, then disappointed. It didn’t suit her.

“Yeah? Next week is fine. Sure…yeah…no, I’m not-I’m not upset. It’s just…no I understand.” She sighed heavily. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Thanks for calling me this time. I love—…” She pulled her phone away from her ear and he swore he saw tears in her eyes.

“Everything…okay?” Obviously not, but it was all he had.

“Yeah…” She sighed again. “Scott cancelled on me again.”

“Again?”

“He works as a welder, and often has to stay long hours to fix other people’s work. I mean, he works the third shift, so I don’t get to see him much anyway, but…”

Hiccup grasped her shoulder, affectionately. “Do you want to stay here? Just for the evening? We can make some Mac and cheese for dinner and…I don’t know, keep chatting because I’m apparently not allowed to do anything else.”

She laughed, “you know, I think I would really enjoy that.”

———

I am not justifying cheating, even if your significant other is neglectful. Astrid and Hiccup will only be friends as long as she’s dating Scott.

#httyd #fanfiction #fanfic #how to train your dragon #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #Astrid Hofferson #toothless #gobber #320 State Street

[retjia]

Letters of Importance. Dragon Age, short fanfic

Skyhold existed this afternoon in a bubble of peace. The sun shone through thin clouds drifting across the sky and a gentle breeze made it a perfect summer’s day.

The various members of the Inquisition were busy with what they thought most important for the day. It being a day off, this varied quite a bit; Sera was rearranging her pillows on the roof outside her room, for the fourth time, while muttering about cookies; The Iron Bull was chugging through the latest batch of dwarven liquor (specially ordered to celebrate the Dragonslaying in a few days time); Cole had found a friend in the puppy brought to the castle by Varric and Sera, and was playing a version of hide-and-seek and tag with it – the dog was winning. All in all it was a flawless day, even the evil threatening the world seemed to take a siesta today…

 “LIAR!” The bubble burst. Cassandra’s voice rang out over the grounds and sent a flock of tiny birds flying. Everyone were pretty used to this by now and payed it no mind since the victim of this insult was usually the one and only Varric, and sure enough – a door slammed open and the dwarf was  racing across the ground, clutching a stack of papers close to his hairy chest. He may not look it, but he was fast. Cassandra was not far behind, chasing him into the castle from the armory. Skidding to a halt just before the door to the War Room, Varric tried to plead with Cassandra once more. “Seeker, you don’t understand. I need these to be private!” His words had no effect, Cassandra snorted and folded her arms across her chest. She wasn’t even out of breath, the training with the Charges had done wonders for her fitness. She held out her hand and waited for him to hand over the letter he so desperately wanted to hide. “No!” Varric yelped and forced the heavy door open and rushed into the War Room.

“What is this? Are we playing tag? Can I join?” came the soft voice of Leliana from the corner where she sat propped up on a low bench. She had been in a wonderful mood lately, deeply engrossed in the study of the Chant. “We are not” answered Cassandra curtly, scanning the room for the dwarf. He had mysteriously disappeared as soon as the Spymaster spoke. “No, it would not be your game Cassandra” Leliana said. “Why are you chasing him?” “If you must know, he has letter that are of great importance to me – and the Inquisition. I will not let him set us back like he did with Hawke.” She sighed. This dwarf was more trouble than he was worth. Noting the subtle body language of her colleague, Cassandra started moving towards the bookshelf just behind the door. “I will see that Vivienne has all she needs, she has decided to oversee the making of new formal wear for us all” Leliana said, with a hint of a thicker accent than normally – only Cassandra or Josephine would ever notice. “Please do” came the reply.

As Leliana shut the door behind her Cassandra quickly turned around and swooped down on what appeared to be nothing. This empty space however was occupied by Varric and his sneaking abilities were apparently not beyond the perception of their Spymaster. As Left and Right Hand of the Divine, Cassandra and Leliana had long ago learned the art of quiet and unnoticeable communication. Varric had now learned that the hard way. She dragged him across the floor and forcibly sat him down in a big chair. “Tell me everything” she demanded. Varric chuckled. “I’m having a sense of deja vú here, aren’t you?” Cassandra raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps” she bent forward, her face an inch away from his, “Tell me now.” She was dead serious, Varric could see this. An angry, serious Cassandra with a goal was not someone you wanted to be in the way of – and at the same time he couldn’t help himself being a proper ass about it all. It amused him too much. He took the rolled up letters from his pocket and looked at them. She really was obsessed. “Weird that” Sera would say, he could hear her voice in his head.

“You have already read them Seeker, I saw you going through them. You don’t need them anymore.” “Of course I need them! I need them – and you.” Cassandra focused the dwarf with her stare. “I need answers!” Varric sighed. He knew the game was up, there was no way out of it now… Resigned to his fate he looked her in the eye. “Fine, what do you want to know?” Cassandra stood up, hands on her hips and not a hint of anything but business escaping her.

“What do you mean with the Guard Captain dying? She can’t die for real, Varric.” Crap, she had seen that too. “Yes, she can. The series can’t go on forever. I have new things do write, new stories. I was thinking of one with the Inquisitor and Sera, raiding noble estates in…” “NO! She cannot die! The series need her and her successor is a slimeball of a man, he has no part in this.” Cassandra’s cheeks were flushed and her hands were grasping at thin air. “Swords and Shields has gone on for years, Seeker. Only you and the Orleasians read them these days.” Varric wriggled in the chair, he didn’t like the need to defend his decision about wrapping the series up – it was his choice, wasn’t it? “Because it’s good!” Ever since the Inquisitor had seen her read the latest book, and telling Varric about it, Cassandra had been on him like bees on honey about the next one. She didn’t even hider her feelings about the books anymore.

Taking a deep breath and sitting up straight, Varric knew how to fix it. She would probably put him in the dungeon if he didn’t cooperate. “I’ll see what I can do.” He said resigned. Cassandra smiled at him, somewhat surprised at this turn of events but ultimately happy. “Good. I…thanks, Varric” she backed away and then walked out of the War Room, smiling to herself.

 Months passed and nothing new happened on the book-front, but one biting cold winter morning when Cassandra went back to her room from breakfast she found a square package lying on her bed, with a note that read:

Just for you, Seeker. Don’t shout at me. -V.

[starry-nightflyer]

The Dragon in the Box (5 out of ?)

The Doctor looked out the peephole to the flat, nobody in sight. 

He snagged his long brown coat off the rack and pulled it on, quickly turning the doorknob and stepping out into the cool London air, being careful not to get his coat stuck in the door. 

Sherlock and John had stayed outside of the door for quite a while after getting kicked out by Donna, and they had FINALLY left so that The Doctor could go for a stroll. He knew that Sherlock was probably keeping a close eye on him, as was John. His cream sneakers scuffed the pavement below him, and he glanced up to the window overlooking the street. Sure enough, Sherlock was standing in it with his violin at the ready. He frowned and closed the curtains when he caught The Doctor looking in. 

The Doctor shook his head and quickened his pace, not really wanting Sherlock to give chase. He broke into a jog, his coat streaming out behind him like a banner. He heard the door open behind him and groaned inwardly. He had planned to get the TARDIS and bring it to the flat, but with Sherlock tagging along he wasn't going to risk him discovering the blue box. 

Damn it...

He couldn't go any faster without seeming suspicious, so he was forced to listen as the footsteps closed in behind him. He turned a corner and glanced behind him, and was surprised to see not Sherlock, but John. He waved slightly when he saw The Doctor looking, and motioned for him to stop. The Doctor obliged and John came to a halt next to him, leaning up against a lamppost to catch his breath. "Sorry I didn't say anything." He panted out between breaths. The Doctor smiled.

"That's alright." He was secretly relieved that it was John and not Sherlock because as far as he knew, Sherlock would've interrogated him as to what he was doing. John took a deep breath and stood upright, trying his best to match The Doctor's height.

"Okay, Sherlock seems to think that you're a murderer." He stated. The Doctor had opened his mouth to shoot down the claim when a lightbulb went off in his head.

"Wait, hold on, did he send you out after me?" John sighed, but nodded. The Doctor tucked his hands into his pockets. "I'm not going to hurt anyone, I can promise you that. Believe me, there's more than enough hardship in the world without me causing any."

"Personally I don't think that you're out for blood, but Sherlock seems convinced that you've got something to do with it." The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair.

"Is there an outright reason for that or..." He let the sentence hang in the air. John shook his head.

"I'm really not sure... I mean, there was the note though."

"If you find out, can you please tell me? It'd be nice to know why he thinks I'm so terrible." John smiled at that.

"Well, there is one thing." He spoke slowly, "It sounds ridiculous though..."

"Try me." John hesitated before finally just saying it.

"He thinks you're an alien." The Doctor's hearts skipped a beat, but he forced himself to stay calm. He choked out a laugh.

"Really?" John nodded, chuckling slightly.

"Yeah, sounds mad doesn't it?" 

"Nah, I believe in aliens. Not that I am one though."

"You think they're out there?" John gestured to the sky, making 'out there' seem unreachable. The Doctor smiled, his breath fogging up the air. He stared into the cloudysky as he spoke.

"Well, here's how I see it. The universe is vast and beautiful, and we can't be the only ones in it." John was smiling now too, his gaze thoughtful.

"I suppose that's true..." The pair of them stood in quiet contentment for a minute before John cleared his throat. "Well, you're sure you aren't involved in the case?" The Doctor nodded.

"Positive." John looked down at his feet before speaking again.

"I should probably head back and give Sherlock the report."

"Send him my regards!" John laughed.

"Will do!" With that, he was off, walking back in the direction he came. The Doctor watched him go before continuing on his way with a spring in his step. He was truly glad that John believed him to be a good person, despite what Sherlock thought. Sherlock himself still had The Doctor stumped though, and the alien thing had really caught him off guard. He didn't really understand why aliens of all things were a concern of Sherlock's, but that gave him all the more reason to be careful. He rounded the corner and headed down the narrow alleyway. The TARDIS was waiting for him, and he heard it hum in approval when he put a hand on the side of it.

"Miss me?" He asked softly. It hummed again in response. He smiled. "That's what I thought." He fitted the key into the keyhole and pushed the door open. The second it had snapped shut behind him, he disabled the projection as it was easier to fly with four legs rather than two. He took a deep breath and eyed the controls before starting to fiddle with the console. It took him only a minute to get to his destination, and he pushed open the doors with a triumphant grin. Donna was standing in front of the box.

"How the hell are we going to explain having a blue police box smack in the middle of our flat!? Not to mention the noise, I'm sure they'll be at our door in less than a minute now!" The Doctor enabled his projection and did a quick lap around the box. It was in the middle of the sitting room, which was going to be a problem.

"Should I try and land it elsewhere or should we just shove it to the end of the hall and call it good?" Donna smiled.

"Option two is looking pretty good."

"Okay, we're both gonna push." Donna nodded and rounded the edge of the box, The Doctor following on her heels. Once he was on the other side, he disabled his projection, bracing himself to push. He shot Donna a sideways glance, "Ready?"

"You bet." They then began to push. The TARDIS wasn't too heavy, as it was disguised as a police box, but it was still difficult to push. It scraped the walls, the sharp sound making The Doctor wince. With one final heave, they managed to shove it to the end of the hall. They both stood, leaning up against the doors as they caught their breath.

"I should probably go jump out the back window now." Mumbled The Doctor. Donna looked at him like he was insane.

"Why would you do that!?" The Doctor sighed and started to walk to the window, explaining his statement as he did so.

"Well, if I'm right, Sherlock is watching for me to come back. And if he doesn't see me come in, it's going to set off some red flags." He enabled his projection once more and popped open the window. "You think I can fit through?"

"Yeah, you should be good. There's hardly anything to you as it is." The Doctor started to slide out, making sure to go slowly so he wouldn't hurt himself. His shoes touched on the concrete and he let himself drop. It wasn't a very far fall, but he still almost tripped nonetheless. He heard Donna snicker at his ungraceful landing and he looked up to see her leaning out the window. "Beautiful landing!" The Doctor dusted himself off.

"Could've been worse, I'll be with you in a minute!" Donna shook her head before closing the window. The Doctor strode around the back of the building, and he was about to open the door when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He whirled around in surprise and felt his hearts sink in his chest when he saw who it was.

"Hello there Doctor, did you enjoy your run?" The Doctor smiled,

"Yeah, I did, yeah." Sherlock smiled as well, though it was anything but warm.

"Could you pop up to my flat for a few minutes, I've just got a few questions..."

Sherlock stood, examining the man in front of him with a critical eye, watching his every movement. The Doctor scratched his head,

"I suppose so." His eyes darted around nervously, clearly not wanting to go through with the questioning. Sherlock nodded and unlocked his flat, not looking back to see if The Doctor would follow him in, as he knew that he would. Sure enough, he heard The Doctor's light tread behind his own as he ascended the stairs. He was still pretty sure that he was involved in the case, but he was reluctant to show it. Sherlock only looked back when he was in his study. He motioned to a chair.

"Sit." The Doctor obliged without protest. Sherlock opened his mouth to speak, but The Doctor spoke faster.

"So, you sent John after me this morning on my jog." Sherlock frowned.

"I was busy."

"Busy spying on me? I saw you in the window you know." The Doctor's manner of speaking irritated the detective, along with the way that he really didn’t eem to be taking ay of this seriously in the slightest.

"Yes I noticed, that's why I closed the curtains." He did a full circle of the chair, not once taking his eyes off The Doctor. He seemed calm enough, and he stole glances at Sherlock when he thought he wasn't looking. The uneasy silence between them grew, the only noise in the room the breaths taken by each of them. The Doctor finally broke it.

"As much as I'm enjoying this game of giraffe, I'm assuming that you had a reason for asking me in?" Sherlock inclined his head.

"Yes, I still believe you're involved in the case." The Doctor groaned.

"Oh, not this again..." Sherlock ignored his comment and continued.

"How long exactly have you been in London?"

"A couple days now, just taking a break from traveling."

"Alright, what about the animal you have in your flat?" The Doctor tensed a little, but Sherlock noticed it all the same.

"Neither of us have a pet." He was tripping on words now, which meant that the detective had struck a nerve.

"Oh, don't lie. The evidence is all over your coat for Pete's sake." The Doctor looked down at himself and flapped his coat. A scant few brown hairs fluttered to the floor of the study. The Doctor took a deep breath.

"I met a dog this morning, that's all." Sherlock was amused by this comment.

"Then how come your flat is coated with the same brown hairs?" The Doctor didn't have a reply to that, so Sherlock pressed on. "There's no use hiding anything, I'll figure it out eventually." The Doctor stayed silent. "Oh come on and humor me, you don't seem to be the silent type."

"Well, I'm not usually."

"Then why so quiet?" He took another deep breath, not speaking another word. He was sitting on the edge of the chair, set to leave at the slightest moment. Sherlock finally eased off his barrage of questions, knowing that if he was on edge, he wasn't going to be any help.

"Listen, there is no animal downstairs or I would know about it."

"That may be true." The Doctor made to leave.

"Well, it was lovely to-" Sherlock glowered at him.

"Oh sit back down!" The Doctor hesitated before sinking back into the chair.

"I'm not a murderer, and I don't have a pet. What else do you want!?" Sherlock looked him dead in the eyes, searching for a sign that he was lying. He was about to say something more when his phone started to ring. "You gonna answer that?" Sherlock drew the device from his pocket, it was from Lestrade. He put it to his ear.

"Yes?"

"Another victim, Sherlock there's been another." Sherlock grabbed a pen and notepad from a pocket.

"Where?" The Doctor looked at him curiously, clearly wanting to know what he was talking about.

He scrawled the address across the sheet of paper before stuffing the phone in his pocket. Sherlock grabbed The Doctor roughly by the arm. He, however, was unfazed by this.

"So, where are we off to then?" He didn't seem to be too worried.

"Crime scene, another murder."

"And you're bringing me because..." Sherlock looked at him with a deadpan expression. The Doctor sighed. "Oh right, you think I'm the killer."

"That would be correct."

"Can I bring Donna along?" Sherlock ignored his question.

"JOHN!" He heard a shuffling from the next room.

"What?"

"Another murder! Get down here!" John stuck his head out of the door and grabbed his coat, shouldering it as he descended the steps. The Doctor waved timidly at him.

"Hello, John." John looked confused as to what he was doing in their flat.

"I thought you said that you'd leave him alone! He's just as human as you or me!"

"I lied, alright?" He pulled the door open and pushed The Doctor out onto the street. He released his arm once they were all outside, and The Doctor rubbed the sore spot bitterly.

"You could've been a little gentler..." He mumbled. Sherlock ignored him once again and was about to start walking when the door to The Doctor's flat swung open. The Doctor grinned broadly when he saw who had opened the door. Donna stepped out and asserted herself without missing a beat.

"Right, what did I miss?" Sherlock scowled when he saw the redhead, not happy that she was tagging along.

"Well, I was interrogated by Sherlock, and now I'm being kidnapped."

"Hello, Sherlock. Still think he's a murderer then?" Sherlock set his jaw.

"Indeed." John looked between the two of them before interrupting their death-glare competition.

"Did Lestrade say to hurry?" Sherlock nodded and started to walk down the street. John matched his stride. "You alright?" He was puzzled by the question.

"Yes, of course, I'm fine." John sighed.

"I don't know why you've got it out for The Doctor, but I don't think he's an alien or a murderer for that matter."

"He's gotten good at keeping secrets, I'll give him that." Sherlock's tone was bitter as he spoke, like any words mentioning The Doctor created a foul taste in his mouth. He could hear The Doctor filling Donna in on what had happened in his study, which was a whole lot of nothing as far as Sherlock was concerned. The questioning had proven to be pointless as The Doctor simply refused to tell him anything. John must've noticed his stormy expression.

"Are you sure you're alright." Sherlock tightened his scarf, his body on autopilot.

"I said I was fine." But in truth, he was more puzzled than ever before.

Moriarty grinned when he saw the party on the sidewalk below from his hideout. He was up on the roof of the flat across from his victim's and he had been told to keep an eye out for a certain man. He wasn't usually one to take orders, but he did want to check up on Sherlock anyway. He could make out the figures of John and Sherlock but was quick to notice that they weren't alone. A redheaded woman and a tall, trench-coat wearing man followed behind them. Moriarty adjusted his binoculars, focusing in on the man. "Hello, Doctor." He whispered, a sinister smile creeping across his face. "Hello indeed."

#laurelhach #DW AU #My writing #The Dragon in the Box #dragon who