#it was a vent but im ok now dw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kruxton · 4 months

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having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it

#usualy i'd make up some stupid story to fall asleep but its not working now #some news was broken to me just now and i dont know how to feel about it #i mean i do #ok incoming vent #hate the idea hate it so so much but its so selfish of me to think that way #and the issues all lie within ME and i just. i cant change now #not w all the work i put into adapting to this place i cant just. pack it all up and leave to go somewhere else #my future was set here man. all i had left was to finish a year and a half more of secondary school n get thru my IGCSEs and i'l be set #yeah i didnt have a specific plan but i had come to terms w a solid general one that i actually really liked #and now its all Ruined #'dw you'll be going to a good school over there too! much better than where ur at now' i dont want to #i cant i just cant #i cant leave my life here now not when im so close to finally getting my freedom #i was supposed to graduate top of my class here i was supposed to excel in my extra curriculars i was supposed to be KNOWN #god does that sound horrible of me but i cant change the way i feel and how ive always felt #i was set man. i couldve gotten that scholarship and gone overseas #i NEED that scholarship or my family wont be able to afford to put my siblings into good schools #but now my progress is gone!#yeah idfk how the school system shit works but i highly doubt some prestigious ass school is gonna care abt shit i did in my current one #yeah i could be wrong but what if man #what then. what the fuck am i supposed to do #and im scared i wont be able to make friends there #fuck im prbly overthinking this n being such a fucking pussy but #i cant. be alone #not again i cant do that shit again #i have my friends here!!!! and theyre alright i like to be around them so why cant i just stay #im just so tired #i just want to sleep #but all i can think about is this #vent

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ratgingi · 1 year

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i have to be so careful abt getting close to people bc my clown ass will start filing them as members of my found family without even realizing im doing it until its too late

#this isnt a vent dw im just strainin really hard to not see some people i know as like . parent figures or whatever the hell VGHCAGHVSAHD #my brain just goes woe! found family be upon ye #i remember seeing a post somewhere that viewing random people as parent/sibling/etc figures is weird and creepy and now i feel bad doing it #UNLESS they let me know tht they are ok with bein seen like tht . lil bro scott im lookin at u <3 i pat ur head and ruffle ur hair /aff #speaking of i realized just now i never asked. if im allowed to call u that . so oh my god lmk if i need to stop BHVDGHVFHDS /gen /lh #dialogue

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doodlebloo · 1 year

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Just had the most stressful 3 hour long Zoom class of my entire academic career like I genuinely feel as if years have been taken off of my lifespan by the events that transpired

#sorry for venting but holy fucking. molyyyyyyyy.#ok im done now srry. love and light! <3 (+ i am ok dw :])#doodle.txt

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indigodawns · 8 months

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#blabla vent tags incoming #but im just so tired HSNSJS i know part of it is probably genuinely my messed up sleeping schedule and not having anything to do rn #but i keep having okay/good moments vs moments of being completely Done for no reason #like oh i don't want to do this anymore. not in a concerning way dw dw but also???#just so so sick of living with myself for no good reason rip #anyways this was gonna be a post abt how bls are making me Yearn again which is gross #and i might be going on a date this week with someone? bc i opened tinder etc again HSJSJDB rip #but now im suddenly hit by the. ohhhhhhh i wanna date/kiss a girl. im not going on a date with a girl #dhsjsbsbdndj rip for being bi ig i sure am flighty/flaky in everything 💀💀#haven't followed any bts updates in weeks now either #and blasting through new hyperfixations at a wild pace which im sure is due to having too much time on my hands but cmon now 💀💀#idk none of this is getting to the point i just. what's the yoongi quote? wanna throw myself away #and i can't explain it and this keeps hitting in moments and then im fine again but it's like ok ive tried it. can't make sense of it.#what now???#but also like i just need to flip a switch and then ill be fine!!! just flip it!!!#i will say watching the eclipse had me there actually but what good does that do anyone dhsnsjdj

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the-amber-droid-dreams · 1 year

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god today was so fucking exhausting i --

#vent #suicide mention #(nothing happened dw)#i had such shitty sleep today w so many bad dreams #didnt get my work done and skipped my class #spent most of the day trying to dissociate and only half succeeding #then one of my partners whos been doing bad for a month now suddenly left all the gcs and discord servers #me and the other 2 in our polycule started freaking out bc usually thst sort of behaviour means smthg very very bad is abt to happen #partner wouldnt reply to texts or voicemail and hung up when we tried to call #us 3 literally rushed to their dorm and camped out their for over an hour bc we were so worried and didnt know what else to do #i bring my fucking first aid kit just in case bc its all i can do to feel useful #still no contact #eventually they post on tumblr #smthg like 'dw im ok' which i can only assume was directed at us #(my tumblr is the only secret one in the polycule)#so were like ok ! guess well take their word for it and assume theyre not about to off themself lol lmao !!!!#so we leave and just . hang out a bit #eventually i also get a reply to the text i sent #i sent like 'hey we dont have to talk beyond this but please please tell us youre safe thats all'#and they replied w a thumbs up a couple hours later #so ! theyre fuckin alive ! i am !!! at my wits end today hahah #amber actually saying stuff

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askinswife · 2 years

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mod

imma sleep

is 2:33 am

bah bye gn remember you are loved

oh btw if u saw the vent im ok now dw

#bah bye ^^

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bourgeoisie-agent · 4 months

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guys its a vent!! its a vent below the cut uh oh!! (Irl stuff dw)

i hate being so bad at maintaining any sort of relationship. i genuinely feel bad when i realize some friends have lives outside of me and that i need to work to maintain relationships. the worst advice i internalized was that the other person should actively seek out your company and thats just not true. maintaining eachothers company is a mutual effort and now ive fucked up and i get jealous everytime i see my friend somewhere hanging out with someone that isnt me.

I genuinely do not know what to do its only that friend specifically. I dont feel this way with anyone else. At first im pissed because i want to be there spending time with them on the other, they very likely to not see me as close of a friend as i do. (Or used to, im trying to realize how close we actually were) i know its not a crush im just jealous. im really just a jealous person who cant fathom that the friend i thought was one of my closest isnt and has closer friends who in all honesty are better than me. they share interests with the friend, making them happy, and they actively seek out their company over me. my friend is happier with others and i am jealous but happy for them. they deserve it and they deserve someone who will actually make them happy.

none of this is my friends wrongdoings im just jealous. im jealous of having a close relationship like that with anyone, to spill one’s guts out and speak of their love and hatred and deepest thoughts. i am not that person to my friend and that should be ok yet emotionally its wrong and im jealous. i dont know how to fix this. I dont know how to be vulnerable with people. i dont know how to become close friends without making someone else jealous and putting them through the same shit i go through if at all

#rant #vent #personal rant #personal vent #IRLS DONT READ ESPECIALLY

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pettydollie · 4 months

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hey i hope you've had a good day :) ik this is mostly a fic/drabble type of blog, but i saw in one of your posts that you are open to venting. i hate sliding into ppls dms tbh lol so i hope its ok that i ask for advice like this btw u can totally ignore this i understand! so earlier this morning, i got dumped and i feel like shit tbh. like it wasnt even for a good reason at all. and we were together for like 2 years smh. ive been trying to cheer myself up all day but i cant and i just keep fucking crying and im so lost idk. im sorry to be dumping this all over you but you genuinely seem like a great person. its late right now and i cant fall asleep and its so hard. im just so tired. if you do respond to this, thank you so much. i dont really have friends irl so i mostly talk to ppl on tumblr anonymously lmao. i hope u have a great/day night!

hi sweets :) first, im so sorry. breakups can be super tough and hard to bounce back from, but you are going to get through it. in fact, you are going to heal and grow from it. i know that sounds pretty stupid rn lol but i promise you that things will get better! second of all, im so happy you feel comfortable with me to vent. anyone else whos reading this, you can always dm/pop into my inbox if u have something to share. and btw noonie dw about messaging me, i totally get it! if you havent eaten anything, please do. specifically something healthy/refreshing if you can. like fruit for example. eating junk in a bad state will just make you want to eat more and itll turn into a bad addiction. i know you said youre trying to go to sleep so eat something small if possible.

everyone has different likings but here are a few things that can help you: - listening to asmr! doesnt specifically have to be whispering or anything. it can be just sounds, that helps me a lot. i reccomend listening to sunshinejazzyasmr, gabi asmr, jocie b asmr, all on yt! ^ visual asmr is super good also. it helps when youre trying to keep your eyes open to watch the video, but u end up falling asleep - music. ik this is a basic idea but it really helps. find a calming playlist and i recommend putting your phone under your pillow to create a sort of muffled sound. its super soothing for me. wearing earbuds while trying to sleep can be super uncomfortable and you can get infections (ick) - sleep the other way around. like switch your pillow to the other side of your bed. its really simple but it kinda helped me. - watch a comfort show/movie. not something thatll keep you up, maybe something boring or more on the chill side. - sleep somewhere else. maybe on a sofa or if u live with another person, in their bed if its a comfortable situation - drink tea. i personally dont do this, but i think chamomile tea is really good for sleep. but i think u should look up teas first bc im not 100% sure lmao since you're crying a lot, i think you should wash your face. it makes me feel better :) u can also shower to make u even more sleepy and just to feel clean before you sleep.

i love you and you got this!! keep on going my love, everything happens for a reason. xoxo

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talictries · 9 months

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friendship vent (agane LMAO)

i didnt say this before because i was too embarrassed LMAO but a little over 2 weeks ago i ruined my best friend of 5 year's 21st birthday by getting way too drunk, breaking up the whole event, and having a ambulance called on me LMAO. i am ok (obvi) but I've always been the one who's leeched off her for emotional support shit (because i have no friends except her lol) and we've had these similar arguments in the past but because it was supposed to be her big day, and it was in front of all her friends from uni and shit, and her family (which had to deal with me and house me for that night) none have ever been this bad.

because my mental health is so shit, she often worries if I've like kms-ed even tho i wouldn't do that. but i gave her space for 2 weeks and finally messaged her today being like yo hope you're well all that shit. she messaged back (a good sign) and we talked for a tiny but but she was like I'm still mad at u abt the party thing but I'm also worried about your mental health.'

and like, sure, i could have just said 'dw I'm all good' and moved on, but in the past 3 years where I've lost all my other friends and family (no one died dw, just stopped talking to friends and family moved far away) I've always kinda leaned on her the most. and over the past few months when my mental health was at its lowest, i could tell she was starting to get anxious just by my mere existence (thinking i was dead or smth) and its been weighing on my mind that she doesn't really need that shit in her life, because her life comparatively is a fuck ton more stressful atm.

so basically i info dumped (not a slay) and was like look i was giving u space, but I've been thinking about our friendship which i am the one who always messes up, and ik we've had a few conversations abt it before but i just wanted to state my piece. already from my side this has been a slightly unhealthy relationship because i know i am far too dependant on you, and i don't want this turning into a more unhealthy friendship because before that was a v internal me thing whereas now its actually impacting your life. so i love our friendships and its happy moments but i want you to really evaluate your life and make the final decision as to if you want me in it or not. maybe not for a few weeks, or moths, or ever, but i feel guilty that YOU feel guilty about it.

and ik it isn't my place to dictate her feelings or whatever but now i fear if i just kept my mouth shut we'd be on the path to getting back to normal. but at the same time, if i didn't say this then i feel like I'm mental-health-trapping her because she thinks if she leaves me ill kms??? like baby trapping but not really. anyway idk. she said 'this is a lot, i need time' which is totally fair and i will give it to her, but honestly now i feel I've been TOO real and she'll be like 'yeah i actually don't need talic in my life' and that may send me spiralling because i have zero support systems (apart from ao3 LMAO) without her.

oh well. if it works out it will, if it doesn't then its better for both of us in the long-run ig. just sad I've ruined another 5 year long friendship because of my alcoholic clingy stupid mental-health-issue-ridden ass.

lol

im ok dw. i truly want what's best for her and if its a life without me then i accept it. i will not be selfish and take more from her like i have. besides having zero friends will legit make me go out and make more because i die without social interaction (i say not showing up to uni for the third day week in a row because I'm lowkey agoraphobic and high-key depressed)

slay. perhaps i will write the most gut-churning sad angst to cope

#talic.life #tw: mental health #tw vent

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v-anrouge · 2 years

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i just saw your vents, I really hope you feel better soon darl. I know it’s hard to deal with this, I am so sorry that people don’t take this seriously, that they’re not listening and comforting you.

If you wish to talk more about this soon or later, you nay always message me hun, again, I’m sorry this is happening, it will get better soon though, you are strong! 💕

APHRO..... u don't know how happy this made me serious, and dw im fine now, also it's ok im used to it having a phobia comes w having attacks because of triggers, i just have to take care of myself afterwards and then ill be fine, also if u ever need to vent im always here for u too<3

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gavis-bettel · 2 years

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little vent i guess

not going to go into any kind of detail but theres something about myself thats kind of like. a source of a lot of embarrassment and shame for me and usually i dont think about it and it doesnt bother me but sometimes i end up thinking about it and i feel like im the only person in the world dealing with it. anyway i was watching a show last night and a character mentioned something like. tangentially related to it and it sort of like. triggered me i guess. and i ended up just looking up the thing im dealing with and found an article written years ago by someone with almost exactly the same issue and feelings about it as me, and then i started reading the comments, and i had to stop bc it was making me too emotional but there were at least a few dozen, if not hundreds of comments over the years from more people dealing with the same thing... and on one hand it was sort of comforting to not be alone in this, but at the same time my heart broke for all these strangers who also have to feel this way and while a couple of people replied to their own comments months or years later saying things changed and they dont have to deal with it anymore, so many people were totally hopeless and believed that it would be forever... and its like, while its nice not to be alone in this i wish none of these people were in the same situation as me because i dont want anyone else to have to know what this feels like... i was up all night crying bc it was just really bittersweet for me and now im getting emotional again typing this, lol;;; just in a very normal mental state rn uh if you actually read this dw its not anything. serious. im just insecure about it and its not the kind of thing that can really be helped and most people cant relate so i kept this vague so as not to embarrass myself or bum other people out ok ✌

#star emoji

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eirian · 2 years

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