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danteinthedevildom · 3 years

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There's a Chat in OM where Satan shows concern over Beel because he saw Beel talking to himself, crouched down in the garden, which Beel later reveals to have been him talking to a very frail plant he found because Mammon told him that talking to flowers helps them grow.

And what I adore about this is that it shows things about the brothers involved that we don't always get to see in the main game, or that are sometimes overlooked for the funny hijinks.

- Beel notices incredibly small details. The flower is small and hidden enough that Satan initially thinks he's talking to himself. He doesn’t actually see the plant at all. And Beel is the tallest brother, so it's not as if his height would be any help to him noticing something on the ground that's small, hidden, and frail, especially when he’s doing a task like watering the garden. That’s just a job to be done, and most people would pay more attention to where the water’s going and how much there’s left to do than they would to each individual flower. He must have been paying genuinely close attention to his surroundings to even notice it to begin with.

- Beel's care for things extends even to nature. He talks to the plant because he wants to help it grow. It's just a small, dying flower, one of however many there are in the House’s garden; there’s no reason to fret over it when there’s probably plenty of other flowers around it, and maybe even flowers of the same species.

But Beel’s genuinely invested in bringing it back to health. He’s seen this tiny, sickly, insignificant flower, and his first thought is to make it better. It's why he later clarifies the situation to MC, asking for more help, because the flower hasn't shown any signs of improvement.

(Very quietly, it makes me wonder if part of the reason he does this is guilt. Maybe Beel just doesn’t like to see things that are dying.)

- Despite how the brothers act towards Mammon most of the time, Beel fully takes on his advice. He spends days talking to the flower because Mammon told him that's something that might work, and it's only when the flower hasn't gotten better that he seeks more help.

At no point did he question this advice. At no point did he think that the “scummy” second-born would say something stupid, or irrelevant, or unhelpful. Mammon told him to talk to the plant, and he so did.

He says that he asked because Mammon was nearby, but at any time he could have just walked right past him, found someone else, and asked them. He could have completely ignored the fact that Mammon was there - especially considering how little the brothers tend to think of his ideas, to begin with - and found someone “more competent”. But he didn’t.

Which means he genuinely has no issues turning to Mammon for help. He genuinely thinks Mammon can give competent advice.

Out of all the brothers, Beel is usually the best when it comes to their overall treatment of the second-born, so maybe that isn’t surprising - but he can be derisive as well.

So it's nice to see, in a situation where it was just the two of them, without the antagonising influence of the others, Beel show he's more than willing to listen to Mammon as a voice of authority and knowledge - especially over something he's worried about. He respects and trusts what Mammon says, and believes it.

- Mammon saw Beel worried over a plant - something small and insignificant that has no greater purpose in the world and hosts no real interest for either of them - and gave him the best genuine advice he could.

Mammon likely doesn't actually know how to care for sick plants, but wanted to try and give Beel something to work with. We know he cares for his brothers deeply - almost (if not exactly) to the point of self sacrifice - so it's not a stretch at all to say he probably suggested talking to the plant in full seriousness, hoping it would help Beel.

It's a common piece of advice, after all. I've heard people say it all the time, from the most amateur gardener to the most professional; talking to your plants keeps them happy and helps them grow.

The bit that really gets me about it, though, is the fact that Mammon... knew it? Out of all things, you'd expect him to care about gardening the least - and to suggest talking to a plant even less. It goes completely against his image, but not against what we know of Mammon as a kind and caring (as well as emotional) demon beneath the facade.

Him, in a similar position to Beel, crouched down low and out of sight to murmur quietly to a plant he thinks needs an extra boost, is well within the spectrum of things Mammon would do but deny doing if caught.

And I just think it's sweet, imagining him passing on advice he's used in the past over a similar thing he might have done to try and help his clearly worried little brother.

- Satan, in a chat with Solomon and MC, shows genuine care and concern towards Beel.

His first instinct is to ask MC and Solomon if they might know what’s going on. He’s noticed a pattern of behaviour that’s unusual for Beel - “sitting out in the garden, mumbling to himself”, to quote him directly - and once it’s gotten to a point that he’s worried, he asks if anyone else knows what’s wrong.

It shows a fair bit of forethought, too. Satan didn’t immediately assume something was up, didn’t immediately dogpile on Beel; he let it play out, keeping a close eye, until it went on for long enough that he thought it might be something bigger. He’s often shown as being thoughtful about how others might react to things (at least, when he’s not enraged), but it’s interesting to see the actual depth of not only his caring, but his understanding of emotional states and how to handle them.

Satan isn’t heartless. If he notices something wrong, he’s very likely to approach the person in question (or people he trusts) with his concerns in a very gentle manner explicitly to avoid overwhelming them. He actively cares enough to pay attention to the people around him, and to notice when someone starts acting differently.

This is especially sweet when it comes to Beel. The brothers have a tendency to treat Beel as the big, gentle giant who doesn’t have a worry in the world except for what he wants to eat. He’s quiet, complains little, and shoulders so many burdens in stride that they often overlook his struggles - if they’re even aware that they exist, because Beel loves his family so much he tries to avoid troubling them.

The fact, then, that Satan not only noticed, not only inquired about his health, but then - when Solomon and MC suggest that maybe Beel’s stressed out and bottling up his emotions - openly says this:

Just shows so much love. The game sometimes overlooks just how much Satan loves his family, but this? This shows it, without a doubt.

- Satan messages the chat with Solomon in it.

This surprised me when I went back to look over the conversation; I genuinely remembered it as him talking to Levi, for some reason. Beyond that, if you asked me who I thought it’d be that he questioned for information regarding Beel’s health, it wouldn’t be Solomon that immediately jumped to mind.

In this situation, you’d think it’d make more sense for him to ask MC and Asmo (who he’s shown to have a very close and affectionate relationship with), or maybe MC and Belphie (who would probably be the first demon anyone should go to regarding Beel, and who Satan definitely gets on with).

As far as I’ve seen - which, admittedly, I’m not caught up on any of the Human World events from the main game beyond spoilers I’ve looked up - there’s not a lot of, if any, interactions between Beel and Solomon? Most of them are Solomon trying to give Beel food, and Beel trying to foister that food off onto someone else because Solomon’s cooking is one of the few things he can’t stomach.

So maybe it says more about Satan’s relationship with Solomon. Looking back through the chats, Solomon feels comfortable enough with Satan to outright ask him if he’s kissed MC (in the chat where Luke overheard Satan and MC talking about K.I.S.S.), and Satan doesn’t react negatively even though it’s a genuinely personal question.

Likewise, Satan, when furious over one of his dramas, immediately turns to the chat with MC and Solomon in it. He explicitly states that he doesn’t know what to do with the feelings he’s got left over from the cliffhanger, and wants to talk it over with the two humans. Which is interesting in two ways:

+ It shows that Satan is comfortable enough when angry to go to Solomon and MC, confident that they won’t actively make it worse (which is always possible when it comes to Satan’s Wrath once it’s ignited).

+ It shows that Satan’s more than happy to talk about how he feels in front of Solomon, and actively engaging him in that discussion. Yes, it’s only over a drama, but you don’t often turn to someone you don’t trust when you want to vent over something you’re passionate about.

There’s a fair bit of trust between them, I think, regardless of how either of them are typically viewed. Plus, the chat’s called Cat (3). It’s almost definitely just a pun, but the fact that a chat with Solomon and MC in it is also named after the one thing that can soothe Satan from an outright rage (as we’ve seen both in OtakuFM and in the main game) is interesting in what it implies about their relationship with him.

So, back to what I originally pondered: why did he go to Solomon and MC when he was concerned about Beel, and not Belphie (Beel’s twin, most likely to know what he’s up to) or Asmo (who lives at the House and is absolutely more likely to have seen Beel in the garden)?

He trusts Solomon and MC enough to take the matter seriously, with discretion.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me solomon

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kob131 · 2 years

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My Thoughts on Certain RWBYtubers

Just gonna post this here to make this stuff known. I could also be completely wrong here. Go ahead and correct me if I’m wrong.

Fatmanfalling: I hate his videos. They are far too long with him just repeating the same fucking points over and over again. I would almost think they are long on purpose to make them hard to debunk as going through an hour and a half and debunking it point by point or analyzing it enough to properly condense it down is really hard.

But to be honest, I have a history with the guy. If you’ve seen that screenshot of his of a guy arguing about quality- that was me. I was not very mature when I began arguing in this fandom. I don’t really regret fighting him (he’s still a dumbass) but that doesn’t make what I did right.

Celtic Phoenix Productions: Maybe Fixing RWBY could be something if he would do something brave for once, remove all elements of RWBY and just go full on original. The lore and history videos could make something. But so long as it’s attached to RWBY as ‘RWBY but better’ it will never be anything but an inferior RWBY. Because to be something but better you have to conform to its niche because that defines what a piece of media is.

That’s why something like Berserk and TTGL can be so vastly different but still be great- they try to achieve different things. But with Fixing RWBY, it’s like Netflix’s Death Note and the original- doesn’t matter what qualities the first may have, it’s reliant on fulfilling the second and fails because it can’t. And I don’t think Celtic has enough humility to acknowledge that.

Calxyin: Her voice and demeanor give me a headache. Not likee one of frustration or hate but one of ‘your voice is too high and you’re too peppy’. I don’t talk about her much because it’s literally painful for me.

MuffinManDan: No idea if he’s still around but whether he’s positive or negative- I do not like him in the slightest. Unlike the others I mentioned or will mention where I can at least believe that they geniunely mean what they say, MuffinManDan’s actions proved to me he didn’t believe a word he said. He would misrepresent what the show said, what I said and what he said just to look good. And the moment it became more profitable for him to praise RWBY, he did just that.

MMD doesn’t even have what little credit I can give others.

Vexed Viewer: Vexed is what happens when you treat blatantly false crap as the second coming of Christ. His video tend to only work if you already agree with him or have no understanding of how media works. Seriously, his ‘Stupid For The Sake Of The Plot” videos break in half when you remember human error.

There was also that time where Vexed tried saying that Pietro putting part of his Aura in Penny and then calling her daughter was creepy...despite that being a common trope in man creating self aware creation stories. He also brought up race in that. Which...I have no idea how to interpret that as anything but racist. ... Moving on.

Unicorn of War: Political asshat who started sucking off the show when he felt pandered to (Bumbleby) and then stopped for whatever reason. His videos are also pretty simplistic and ill thought out whether good or bad. Also, he made Ciel Pietro’s daughter in his Volume 8 rewrite because, and I quote, ‘There’s the issue of a black man making a white girl as the default.’

... Remember when Monty said there was no Asia? I miss those days...

Hero Hei: Take everything I said about MMD, invert the flip about RWBY and add in clickbait and political bullshit. That’s HH.

Judgemental Critter and Twiins Iink: Grouping these two together-

Twiins Iink made a video about Adam stans not moving on, which is a stance I agree with...then made me play defense for them by how bad the video was. And Critter once said that scene of James in V7 E2 where he strides up to Oscar, thinking he’s Ozpin and clearly desperate for his leader...was ‘Dad energy’.

... And this is their average.

Overall- You should really just look for RWBY channels under 1k subscribers. They’re not likely to be super dumb or selling you what you want to hear.

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vizowrites · 3 years

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“We” vs “Me”| or “Why BlitzStrike Works So Well For Me But Stolitz [as of episode 6].....Doesn’t”

Alright my Loves, so I said that I was going to talk in further detail about my feelings regarding Stolas and the multi-layered portrayal of his relationship with Blitz in the new episode, and today’s the day where that happens!! First of all, though, before I really get into my feelings about things, I want to just make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I’m not trying to sway anyone from one side to the other, or trying to shame anyone for shipping two fictional characters. I’m fully in the boat that you are completely entitled to ship whoever you want, but I also think it’s wise to at least be able to recognize the faults and flaws in a pairing--and especially to be able to recognize them in the context of an IRL relationship. In this analysis in particular, I’m specifically focusing on these two relationships within the realm of the Helluva Boss universe [......Hell] and within the specific context of their characters as they’ve been portrayed in the show thus far. And, my biggest disclaimer of all: I’m doing this for no other reason than I felt like putting my jumbled thoughts together into a cohesive post so that they don’t have to stay bouncing and buzzing around in my head. Please keep that in mind that this is just pure personal opinion and interpretation before anyone comes at me with torches and pitchforks. <3 <3

SO WITH THAT LONG ASS DISCLAIMER OUT OF THE WAY

Let’s finally get to the good stuff. And the not so good stuff. :D

So I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone who follows me here that I’m a huge BlitzStrike fan. What I think fewer people know is that when I first entered the fandom a few months ago, I actually was on board the Stolitz train like so many others that I’ve met here in the fandom. Naturally Stolitz was the first major pairing I was introduced to, and I did find both the characters of Blitz and Stolas incredibly interesting and compelling in their own rights AND saw the potential in how they could really come to grow into one hell of a relationshp over time. I was honestly really excited to see it happen, too.

And then I watched Episode 5 [still my favorite episode, btw] for the first time and had this sudden question hit me like a truck that even now is still relentlessly burning in the back of my mind because I still haven’t found a legitimate answer for it: Why in the FUCK wasn’t Blitz falling head-over-heels in attraction to Striker throughout this fucking episode??

And I don’t mean that in a “They’re so hot and I ship them now why didn’t they get together?? DX DX” kind of way--I mean that in the genuinely perplexed “I don’t understand based on what has been presented to me thus far about Blitz as a character and the storyline overall why he’s reacting so nonchalantly to this whole thing”. To Note: This is me wondering this from the context of what’s in the show itself, not from any extra fan materials like the Instas or Twitter or just straight up knowing that the most likely answer is that there are people on the creative team that ship Stolitz really hard and realistically wouldn’t have probably written Blitz as being attracted to Striker because that would just be--to quote Jack Sparrow--blowing holes in their own ship. No, this is me disregarding ALL of that and trying to rationalize this with myself from the perspective of a fan whose entire knowledge of the show and its characters comes exclusively from what’s in the episodes themselves. .....And that’s where I just can’t find my answer, except for the Stolitz positive “He’s not attracted to Striker because he’s in love with Stolas” answer. Which really doesn’t even feel like a satisfying answer, because the entire vibe I’ve gotten from Stolitz in the show has just felt.....strangely.....off. Like, the framework is there and the elements are there, but I’d felt as though they had so far to go still that it would be entire SEASONS before they got there.

And THEN the new episode [Episode 6] came out and I’d heard a handful of fans going crazy because the show was finally addressing Stolitz in full, and I thought to myself, “Well, maybe if the show really is going to go with saying that the reason Blitz wasn’t interested in Striker is because he’s in love with Stolas.....sure. I’m curious to see how they finally establish it in an episode, especially since there’s only two more episodes left in the entire first season.” And then I watched the episode. And then it hit me why Stolitz just does not do a damn thing for me but BlitzStrike does despite the fact that we’ve had 4/6 episodes [5/7 if you count the Pilot] of Stolitz but only 1/6 [1/7] of potential--not even canonical--BlitzStrike:

When Striker talks about Blitz, or interacts with Blitz, he always talks about them as a “we”. As a team. A partnership. OR he just straight up puts the entire focus on Blitz and his accomplishments and keeps himself out of it entirely.

When Stolas talks about Blitz, he always talks about them within the context of “me”--of himself--of what Blitz does or should do for him. Even here in episode 6, in the most “selfless” instance we’ve seen yet, where he does ask about Blitz’s safety first BEFORE going right back into how Blitz’s actions affect him and what Blitz should be doing in response for him. Stolas’s focus is always automatically set to himself--and even when it comes to the people he supposedly loves the most.

To explain what I mean here, let me give some examples directly from the show itself, starting with the Stolas side of things:

Episode 1

Blitz, in the middle of trying to hide so much that he actually clamps both of his hands over his mouth just to muffle the sound of his own breathing, knowing damn well that this psychotic bitch who already shot him once won’t hesitate to do it again if she finds him.....gets a call from Stolas. Stolas, who we clearly see from his leisurely hang out time in his bubble bath, is literally watching this happen and is fully aware that calling Blitz right then was potentially putting him in danger. But what does he say when he gets Blitz on the phone? He offers--not help--but Blitz the use of his book in exchange for monthly sex. Stolas literally uses Blitz’s peril as leverage here--consciously or not, though given the fact that he knows the situation at hand, I’d find it very hard to argue that he didn’t do this on purpose--just to get him to agree to be his bootycall until further notice.

Stolas not only doesn’t lift a finger to help Blitz once in all of this--even at the moment where he and Millie are about to be shot in the face--but instead continues to stay on the phone talking about all of the things he wants for their upcoming future rendezvous. He already got exactly what he wanted out of this and he still just continues to go for more for himself.

Episode 2

.....There are honestly so many fucked up things that happen here as far as Stolas and his relationship with Blitz goes but honestly the thing I want to draw the MOST attention to is actually Stolas’s storyline with his daughter, Octavia. I know it’s a little left field, but bear with me--this is actually something I want to use as comparison for Stolas’s relationship to Blitz as we go along:

When Stolas first decides that he’s going to take his daughter to Loo Loo Land, he does so while completey setting aside the fact that she doesn’t want to go. He just offers her assurances that it’s going to be so much fun because he remembers that she loved it so much when she was a little girl--effectively putting his memory above her wishes even as she’s sitting right there and telling him that she doesn’t enjoy the idea of going now.

Stolas doesn’t actually notice just how uncomfortable he’s making Octavia throuhought their entire trip by spending his time sexually harassing paying more attention to Blitz than he is trying to cheer her up. This tells me that Stolas--though I do believe he genuinely wanted to do something to make her happy--still wasn’t able to completely overcome his own self-centered tendencies at first even when it’s for her. And this is the person that Stolas loves more than anyone or anything else in the entire world. It still wasn’t enough.

It’s only when Octavia runs off and completely breaks down that Stolas finally gets the much needed slap-to-the-face of reality to understand just what he’s putting his daughter through--and, for the first time in the entire show, he actually puts someone else’s needs and well being above himself. It’s the one solid honest display of love that we see from Stolas in the entire show--and it’s how we as the audience come to learn that that’s how Stolas shows that he loves someone: When he puts their needs above his own with no strings attached or expectations of something in return. A true selfless act just because he loves them. **Keep in mind the parallel of Stolas carrying Octavia out of Loo Loo Land at the end, and how it compares to Stolas carrying Blitz out of D.H.O.R.K.S headquarters.

Episode 5

The. Fucking. Cigarette. I had no idea that something so small and quick would be able to infuriate me as much as it did, but the fact that Blitz used the post sex cigarette to free Stolas from his wrist bondage but then Stolas turned around and put the cigarette out on Blitz’s horn which is literally a part of Blitz’s body just.....honestly it sums up exactly what I’m trying to get across in this entire huge ass post: Stolas only ever thinks of himself first and anything pertaining to anyone else just doesn’t cross his mind at all unless you blatantly put it there in front of his face. And the fact that he’s still at this point with Blitz all the way here in Episode 5 is not.....promising for their relationship.

The fact that Stolas literally cannot stop himself from calling Blitz “Blitzy” or talking to him in such a condescending way no matter how frustrated Blitz gets and how many times he asks him to stop. I just--how is that supposed to be interpreted as someone talking to a person that they love? There’s no respect or dignity given to Blitz at all on Stolas’s part, and the fact that it seems to be presented as a “Oh teehee it’s just their cute couple thing” is just.....I really, really don’t like that. It also doesn’t match with the Stolas in the very next episode which I quite frankly think is because the creators have been listening to the feedback from fans and were like “We need to SHOW THEM that Stolas actually does speak to Blitz respectfully!!” but that’s just my personal opinion there and, also, it still didn’t happen.

Episode 6

Keeping in mind that THIS is finally the episode where we see Stolas actually save Blitz from danger and demonstrate even the slightest inclination towards his well-being.....I think that honestly makes the next few things here even more fucked up

First and foremost: “WE”. The second after Stolas asks if Blitz is alright and gets the assurance that he is, he roughly grabs his cheek and points out that “If you get in trouble, I get in trouble! WE don’t want that”. The fact that this is the first time that Stolas ever talks about Blitz in the context of “we”--when really what he’s really saying is that him [Stolas] getting in trouble is going to be a bad thing for all of them--is just.....so, so disappointing. At least with this I could hope that perhaps the idea here is that Stolas is genuinely afraid that if he gets in trouble, he won’t be able to protect Blitz from the undoubtedly much worse trouble that he would be in as an imp, but still. The fact that Stolas immediately reverts back to his self-centered perspective so quickly after supposedly being so worried about Blitz’s wellbeing, really makes it seem as though it’s just his own ass that he’s trying to protect. And that.....isn’t exactly what I’d been expecting from “the episode that confirms Stolitz is canon” feedback I’d been hearing.

"Am I going to get ANY thank you for the rescue Bltizy?” This for me was kind of what actually lead to me having this whole epiphany over Stolas’s selfish perspective in the first place. I realized that even here--even when he’s just been the most “romantic” towards Blitz that he’s ever been in any previous episodes up until now [and yes this shift in his character was incredibly jarring for me because of that]--Stolas still goes right back to thinking about what he’s going to get out of this now that he knows Blitz is safe. Let’s take this back to that thing I was saying about Episode 2 and comparing how Stolas rescued Octavia and how he rescues Blitz. Obviously they’re going to be different because it’s Stolas’s daughter vs his hook up BUT just think about where the focus is for Stolas in both of these scenes. With Octavia, Stolas is entirely focused on making things up to her--taking her to do something she wants to do--even if it’s something that he himself doesn’t fully understand or isn’t fully into. That doesn’t matter though, because the entire point is that he’s doing something just for her. It doesn’t have to be about him. But now go back to the scene where Stolas is carrying Blitz out of the room. What does he do? Ask what Blitz is going to do for him. That just takes the idea that this scene was a confirmation of their love and throws it right out the window. Stolas--as we’ve been shown before--would never ask for something in return from someone that he actually loves.

Now let’s take a look at the one and only episode we have of Striker and Blitz interacting together, with an honorary shout out at hallucination!Striker’s appearance in Episode 6:

Episode 5:

Striker knows Blitz’s name.....and he uses it. He’s literally the ONLY other character that we’ve seen so far refer to Blitz as “Blitz” instead of “Blitzo” or “Blitzy” by someone who wasn’t a member of I.M.P.. Aka someone who wasn’t a member of Blitz’s family. He shows Blitz respect at that basest level, and only builds on that from there going forward.

Striker first recognizes Blitz for being “the bold imp that started his own killin’ biz”. Not his hotness, not his skills in the Harvest Moon games because at that point he hasn’t seen them yet.....but for his accomplishment in starting up his own successful business down in Hell. He treats it as an accomplishment. With the kind of respect that comes with acknowledging another person for their accomplishments. Right there, within two seconds of meeting him, Striker demonstrates more respect for Blitz than Stolas has yet to do in the entire show.

The Harvest Moon Festival Games. Now this is something I find fascinating to think about from Striker’s perspective in particular. We as the audience are shown pretty early on that Striker has a strong desire to be the one who comes out on top. He likes the idea of being superior and he openly relishes in the praise and attention he gets for being better than everybody else. ....Except Blitz. When they tie in the games, Striker doesn’t seem bothered with sharing the spotlight with him at all. If anything, he--again--respects just how skilled Blitz is in rightfully earning his place beside him on the stage. That, to me, is HUGE. I’m not going to go so far as to say that Striker necessarily sees them as equals because I think that might be going a bit too far for his ego but he does still fully acknowledge that Blitz is in the same general class as him: that is to say, better than most. Worthy of the same kind of acknowledgement and praise that Striker gets. I literally can’t get over just how big of a thing that is for what we’ve been shown of Striker’s character, and I think it’s unfortunately something that’s incredibly easy to miss or gloss over. :(

And now--for what I personally think is the most significant thing of all--we have: “We”. How many times does Striker suggest during that final scene between them that he really wants Blitz to join forces with him as equals? He never demands that Blitz join up with him, he doesn’t threaten him into joining up with him--Striker barely even hurts Blitz at all during their fight scene compared to how he tried to straight up murder Moxxie--and, most of all, Striker continues to acknowledge that Blitz deserves better than his current arrangement with Stolas. And he’s right. But instead of putting it as “I’M right and this is why you should do this”, he always puts his focus on Blitz himself, or the two of them together as a partnership: “You are so above sucking on a a digusting rich pompous Goetia” | “We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitz” | “You could partner up with me and klll the unkillable--starting with the one that treats you like a plaything”. It’s just--I honestly can’t believe it’s taken me this long to put together why Striker appeals so much more to me as a romantic interest for Blitz, but really breaking it down episode by episode and comparing the differences in wording between Striker and Stolas’s dialogue when it comes to Blitz is just.....holy shit.

Honorary ShoutOut of Episode 6:

The fact that the only thing hallucination Striker has to say to him is “But you don’t want to do things alone Blitzo!” is really, really interesting to me in the fact that he’s.....not......wrong?? Like, To be fair, Striker, RoboFizz, and Verosika all spill their harsh truths, but the thing is.....Striker’s is markedly different in that his wording really isn’t harsh or aggressive at all the way the other two are. He’s just kinda stating a fact in an overexaggerated way because tripping balls hallucination sequence. It’s very interesting to me that that’s the worst that Blitz can imagine him to say--as well as the fact that halluci!Striker calls him “Blitzo”, which is really weird considering that Striker’s never called him “Blitzo” once in the entire show. Makes me kinda wonder where that came from tbh.

Alright so, in conclusion of this very long and rambly styie post: I want to take things back to where I started by reiterating that this is not me trying to convince anyone that BlitzStrike is “right” and Stolitz is “wrong”, or that you should stop shipping what you’re shipping in the fandom. This was just me honestly getting way more excited than I should’ve been over having my “Eureka!” moment for realizing why this new episode didn’t put me back on the Stolitz train like it did for so many other people--and why, in fact, it actually made me think even more favorably of the idea of Blitz and Striker being together.

Thanks for sticking around with me for this very long read, I hope you found it interesting, and I really really hope that it didn’t piss anyone off or rub too many people the wrong way. Like I said at the beginning, ship who you want to ship!! That’s part of the fun of being in a fandom. I’m just hoping that this might help make it easier to understand at least one perspective on why Stolitz is seen as being so problematic as a ship [as of where they are right now].

Here’s to seeing where things go from here!!

#vizowritesthoughts #BlitzStrike #Stolitz #Helluva Boss #hahahahaha I've been dreading posting this because I know it's going to lead to shit even though it's all just personal opinion :'D #but since I went to the trouble of writing this entire thing up I figure what the hell #might as well post it now #anti Stolitz

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canyouhearthelight · 3 years

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The Miys, Ch. 139

Day Two of the Food Festival! This one has a specific request from @baelpenrose, which was fun to play with in the Low-Stim session (always on day 2).

To everyone who has reached out to tell me how much they are enjoying getting to see Sophia actually relax and just have fun for once.... Y’all are the best! It’s been fun writing it, too.

New reader shout outs go to @corvallis, @penguin--person, @amphibiousuprising, @chip5-0, and I think @lostsoul8822. I think that’s everyone... If I missed you, please DM me, and I’ll add you to the next chapter.

On with the show!

The first day of the Festival, Conor and I ended up staying through not only Maverick’s shift but the one after, just so we could drag him to our favorite spots. Day two, however, Conor was on deck as Support Personnel as well as Maverick, and neither were assigned to me - for the first half of day two, we were in the Low Stim Mode, so I was pretty sure I could brave it on my own with everyone else’s proximity alerts and my own personal hyper-alertness preventing accidental bumps.

For me, the most exciting part was the different foods offered, and the fact that I could focus on just the food. Not having to ignore the other stimuli was a completely relaxing experience. The visual of the mural, with everything present, was still completely different in the even, indirect lighting. The dual nature of it was toned down significantly, leading to the overall feel being softer and overall more pleasant without being distracting.

Halfway through a very good pad thai, I spotted Derek and Sam sitting with Ivan and poking at something that Sam was clearly excited about and Derek was equally doubtful of. I circled around so they could see me approaching, and made a point to wave. “What do you think?” I asked, trying to sign as I spoke but hampered by the food in my hands.

“It was a good try,” Derek confessed, cheeks stuffed with something that had previously been on a plate to his left as a backup plan.

Setting my food down, I grinned mischievously. “Doing my best,” I signed, leading to laughter on all sides.

“You just told him you do him the best,” Ivan murmured, my face immediately flooding red.

“That is NOT what I meant,” I tried to explain out loud, over-enunciating while I clenched my hands in embarrassment.

To his credit, Derek signed what he seemed to understand I meant, emphasizing each sign. It was clear that I had gotten several out of order and added one that changed everything overall.

After repeating the signs and getting confirmation, I shook my head and sighed dramatically. “I tried.”

Ivan was trembling with laughter. “You. You did,” he admitted. “But that was… wow.” His head dropped on his hands as he shook silently.

“Souffle pancakes?” I offered, finger spelling the word souffle since I had no freaking clue how to actually sign it.

“Egg pancake,” Derek explained, poking the one I offered and contemplating the jiggle.

“It’s cinnamon sugar, and not gooey,” I explained.

Apparently I got that one right, because Derek immediately stabbed a piece and shoved it in his mouth. The only judgement I needed was the fact that he dragged the entire remaining pancake onto his plate.

Sam watched his roommate before contemplating his own sample. Before he could even ask, I held up a cup full of macerated berries. “And fruit topping for you, sir.”

“Are those my berries?” he asked, skeptical.

I shook my head. “Bog standard, from the consoles. Your vegetables and fruits are being used in the other shifts. We didn’t want to give anyone here unexpected tastes.”

He nodded and dumped the entire cup of fruit over his pancake, digging in happily.

Ivan batted his eyes at me until I explained. “Sam’s produce has… unexpected pairings. Tomatoes that pair with cheesecake and wines, strawberries that really go well with steak…”

“The mango that goes with beer but not fish?”

“Yeah, that one. Von soil does strange things to produce, turns out.”

“Those matcha-edamame are amazing though.”

“For ice cream, yes. For tea, less so. They’re like… cooking matcha, almost.” I laughed. They actually worked better for ice cream than matcha did, oddly - reducing the sugar content but still giving the same flavor.

“One vendor on the last day is using nothing but my produce,” Sam announced happily. “They asked my permission.”

“That’s good!” I encouraged him. “They should always ask your permission to do things like that.”

“People ask with requisition forms,” he agreed. “Mona asked in person.”

Note to self: much more patronage at Mona’s normal spot, I swore in my head. She specialized in vegetarian dishes, and honestly made some of the best fried cabbage I’d had in my life. Knowing that she was so considerate of Sam cemented her as my new favorite takeaway place.

After a little more chat, I finally waved my goodbyes to everyone and strolled slowly to the next tempting stall. I wasn’t really in any hurry, and did more people-watching than I did eating. Latkes were infinitely more interesting when I could overhear people arguing over family recipes. A small bowl of udon was delicious, but not nearly as flavorful as the discussion around hot versus cold, what to top them with, egg or no egg… the only thing anyone seemed to agree on was that the smiling vendor ‘obviously’ ground their own flour, because the flour provided by the consoles was the wrong texture.

Another mental note: don’t learn to make udon. Despite what I had previously believed, it takes a lifetime to make it right, turns out.

Wandering further down, I was delighted by the discovery of something that was very clearly Hannah’s doing: demonstrations of older food prep techniques. Simon winked at me as he carried on a demonstration of - insanely - how to hand pull toffee. I didn’t know he could do that. Muna was demonstrating the correct way to make chapatis and handing them out as fast as she was making them. Clearly, she had been making them her whole life, because at no point did I actually see her look at them, but every single one was perfect.

Laughter erupted over my shoulder, and I whipped my head around to see the source. After wading through a crowd of smiling faces, I couldn’t help but join in. There, right in front of the entire Ark, was Maverick trying to flip takoyaki as fast as the person demonstrating, and ending up with just a mess of octopus and batter on his side. Both Maverick and the person guiding him were smiling, though, and in the end, the vendor handed Maverick four perfectly-round balls and quickly devoured all of the - less shapely, so to speak - ones on my partner’s side. With an exuberant cheer and extending his arms wide to the crowd, the man exclaimed “The first takoyaki of a new student are always my favorite! Nothing tastes better!”

After bowing to his sensei, Maverick turned and spotted me, face still flushed with laughter. He offered his food to a smaller man I did not recognize, who must have been the person Maverick was Supporting, before waving to me and continuing on. Despite the urge to crush him in a hug, I forced my feet to stay in place and reminded myself that he was working.

By the time I trusted myself not to race after him, I realized someone had been trying to get my attention and had resorted to messaging me rather than shouting. “Phee, I don’t know what la-la land you are lost in, but look 100 yards to your four.”

The hell was Arthur doing here? He wasn’t scheduled to work this shift, as far as I was aware. Craning my neck over my shoulder, I turned to see… Apparently a hallucination. It had to be. There was no chance in any of the nine hells that Arthur Farro was dishing out spaghetti, much less smiling while doing it.

Almost dreamlike, I found myself drifting over to confirm that I was wrong, only to be startled when he shoved a plate with not only spaghetti but two gorgeous pieces of garlic bread under my nose. “Special plates, you can’t smell anything unless it’s on purpose.”

“You… Spaghetti?” I asked, eloquent as ever.

“Family recipe.”

“Leaning into the stereotype a bit, aren’t you?” I asked carefully before shoving as much of one thick, crusty piece of toast in my mouth as I could.

He shook his head. “Anyone who tells you their family is Italian and denies having a family recipe for anything is a damned liar.”

Skeptically, I took a bite. It was amazing. “Ah ee deh rehahee,” I tried to get out around the heap of pasta I was steadily shoving in my mouth.

“Maverick is a very bad influence on your table manners,” he observed drily, plating more portions and handing them out. “And no. Not happening.”

“You know I can cook.”

“Not the point. I also know that you will fiddle with it until it is unrecognizable, so there’s really no point in giving it to you.”

Defiantly, I took a smaller bite and chewed carefully. “Garlic, onions, obviously. Sausage and minced… Lamb? But that’s probably just for this session, knowing you it’s spicy sausage regularly. I’m not getting carrot, though, so no soffritto? Unexpected…. Is that thyme, I’m tasting?”

“Rosemary, you heathen. And you’re still wrong.”

I mumbled to myself. “What did I get wrong? It’s gotta be the lamb… maybe he does usually use the lamb? I’m certain it is lamb…”

“It is lamb, and no, I don’t usually use it. But you left several things out.”

I stared at the plate again, confused. “I didn’t think I needed to mention the tomatoes….”

“Basil… oregano….” he drawled.

“Duhhh?” I poked through the last bite on my plate, sniffing it, trying to figure out what I was missing. “Fine, you win, I’m lost.”

“Mushrooms, Sophia. There’s mushrooms. Jeezus. It was an easy one, too.” He showed me a bowl full of what looked like cooked and crumbled sausage, only for me to realize it was the tiniest diced mushrooms I had ever seen in my life.

“I am dying to know how you got them that small.”

“With a knife?” He arched an eyebrow at me as he turned to start another batch of sauce.

“Yeah, no shit, Arthur.”

“Correct, there is no shit in the spaghetti,” he confirmed cheekily as the vegetables started sizzling.

“Asshole,” I laughed, scraping the remaining sauce from my plate with the piece of bread I saved just for that purpose. Just as I was frowning at the sauce-less plate and remaining half-piece of bread, a scalding hot dollop of fresh sauce invaded my vision.

“You love me, because I won’t let you frown at your bread like that.”

Fiiiinnnne I sighed in my head as I shoved a piece of saucy, saucy bread into my cheeks and waggled my fingers to let him get back to work.

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

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littlespoonevan · 3 years

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I’m so curious as to how much of Buck’s storyline is actually deliberate.

Because there are a lot of characters on tv who have fairly consistent characterisation but as the seasons progress you can tell a lot of it sort of falls to the actors choosing to act/react certain ways because they remember their characters’ pasts even if the writers/show runners seem to forget.

And I think 911 as a show, considering it’s been on for 4 seasons now, are pretty good at maintaining the 118’s characterisation. Like, look you can definitely argue about screen time or certain storylines getting swept under the rug but overall they do a good job. And I think they’re quite good at doing subtle nods/foreshadowing too. For example Bobby and Athena’s fight was hinted to quite consistently throughout the season but you don’t necessarily see it until they start arguing (even though I know a lot of people are disappointed it was resolved so quickly)

But something about Buck’s storyline just fits together so well????? And it has done literally since the first episode. Every single thing that happens to him connects in with his previous storyline and development. I’m still in awe of how Buck Begins so succinctly explained why he is the way he is and while I don’t necessarily think the writers knew his backstory from the beginning, I do think they at the very least looked at Buck’s development and came up with something that worked for his narrative (and did so extremely successfully imo)

And ofc oliver is an excellent actor and clearly knows his character well but something about the consistency of Buck’s arc really does make me wonder just how much is always planned and how much is extrapolation on our part. Bc y’know fandom thrives on meta and analysis and connecting the dots, but also none of Buck’s actions/reactions/plots ever really feel like we’re just reading too much into it?

And to give a kind of contrasting example. On the one hand I could believe Ryan (or at least the writers) knew about the will storyline throughout the season bc of all of Eddie’s concerned looks/reactions when buck says something self-deprecating bc y’know those lines existed in the script and the camera chose to focus on Eddie’s reaction. But at the same time I could just as easily believe Ryan was just reacting how he thought Eddie would and maybe wasn’t aware of the will until the very end (either way I’m screaming bc gOD lmao). Likewise, I definitely don’t think he knew in s3 and yet all their interactions post-Eddie Begins still work really well with the new context of 4x14. So that to me would be an example of something you see on shows a lot where, something isn’t necessarily planned but it works anyway bc of the combo of writer/director/actor/character dynamics, y’know?

Whereas everything about Buck just feel so On Purpose that it leaves me feeling so confused agshskd like is some of this really just a happy coincidence or do they actually have this whole thing mapped out???? And if it is all planned like holy shit how??????? And how are they gonna continue it bc I’m honestly in fucking awe of how it’s been developed so far??????

Idk I don’t have a point to this post I just can’t stop thinking about this lmao @ tim minear tell me what’s up?!??!

#evan buckley #evan ‘buck’ buckley #911 #mine #it’s buck week and ur all posting gif sets so all I have is my nonsensical thoughts

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years

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Lilibet was a Marketing Mind Trick...

WARNING, THIS IS LONG AND NOT EDITED VERY WELL! SORRY!

As you all certainly know by now, Harry and his wife have welcomed their second child into the world. According to the announcement, Lilibet “Lili” Diana Mountbatten-Windsor was born 4 June 2021 at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital. The announcement came two days after the child’s arrival. While the British Royal Family seemingly learned about the arrival of the second Sussex baby like the rest of us, one could argue they knew of the birth the day it happened. But I will get into all of that in a moment.

Due to the recent stork stop in Montecito, I felt it necessary to pause working on other posts to do this one. To say this author was left dumbfounded – no, completely flabbergasted – by the name chosen for the second child would be an understatement. Why on earth would this couple, especially given their recent claims and accusations, choose such a name for their only daughter?

Now, I am fully aware the press statement issued by the “Press Secretary for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex” elaborates why each name was chosen, as well as the intentions of calling the child “Lili”. It even says that Lilibet was the “family nickname” for Her Majesty the Queen. One could argue the mystery is solved, that the name was clearly a nod to the child’s paternal grandmother and paternal great-grandmother. One could also argue the real reasons behind naming the child as such go much deeper than the explanation given in the well-crafted, thoughtful press release. This author is the one arguing the latter.

It would seem a pattern exists with the Sussex family regarding nicknames. After all, Harry’s real name is Henry. His wife’s real name is Rachel. Then we have Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Regardless of the media source, most agree Harrison is a nod to Harry since Harrison means “Harry’s Son”. Which seems odd to me; even Harrison is borne from the nickname of the father instead of the actual name of the father.

The meaning behind Archie isn’t so cut-and-dry. Some articles say Archie is version of the Greek word “arche”, meaning “source of action”. Others say Archie means bold, brave, courageous. I’ve even read articles saying Archie was a type of anagram for the name Rachel. It must be mentioned, though, that Archie has been linked to HRH Prince George of Cambridge, as it has been reported several times that Prince George would introduce himself in public as “Archie”. So much so, some argue the name was essentially hijacked from the third in line to the throne.

When it was announced the couple named their daughter Lilibet Diana with the intentions of calling her “Lili”, the world responded with very mixed reviews. They essentially hijacked the personal nickname of the highest-ranking member in the British Royal Family for their daughter’s first name. Then, they decided to tell the world they will call her Lili, yet another nickname borne from the nickname they hijacked.

I know the Queen doesn’t own the name Lilibet, but I also know that the nickname of Lilibet is so personally linked to Her Majesty that billions of people around the world by now understand the link between the Queen and Lilibet. Which brings me to the purpose of this post. Finally. The word association between Lilibet and the Queen is so strong, it is almost commonplace. While everyone else is trying to decide if naming their daughter Lilibet was meant to be an olive branch or a jab, I see things completely differently.

To me, naming the child Lilibet has nothing to do with paying homage to the Queen or taking a dig at her. To me, the name was chosen for a few different reasons. The way I see it, every decision the Montecito Muppets make is geared toward their ultimate goals. Goals like cementing their place as super stars in the United States, as well as ensuring those precious titles and links to the British Royal Family are never removed. Naming their child Lilibet has nothing to do with digs or olive branches; it has everything to do with self-serving, self-preserving motives. It is their way of appealing to the US target audience while ensuring their Royal relatives in the UK are left with no other option but kindness.

Essentially, naming their second child Lilibet is a mind trick meant to remind the world that they are in fact still part of the British Royal Family. It was their way of garnering sympathy from the US target audience by showing “See, look, we have healed enough we can name her after our oppressor! See, look! We are forgiving!” It was also yet another way of using word association trickery to keep people thinking about them as Royals. Which is another future post I’ll be making; why does everyone still treat the expats as Royals when even Buckingham Palace doesn’t? I digress…

Whether or not the Queen was made aware of the decision to use Lilibet for the child’s first name is still unclear. We do know, however, that on the date the child was said to arrive, website domains using different variations of the child’s name were bought up with a quickness. Using the ICANN Lookup website, one can search various versions of the name as a website address and find that lilidiana.com was registered 31 May 2021 before lilibetdiana.com was. Most all the website variations are held by GoDaddy with Scottsdale Arizona billing addresses. A couple variations were registered with Oregon and Maryland addresses, though. You can search domain names and their origins here: https://lookup.icann.org/

I originally wondered if the Palace knew ahead of the announcement and purchased the domain names. But it would seem like that is not the case because of the billing addresses. For example, travalyst.com was registered by the Royal Foundation and has a London billing address. So, if they did buy up the domains, they did so through a third party to hide the fact they did. Otherwise, it seems like the couple purchased them. Still yet, someone close to the couple aware of the name choices could’ve bought up the domains with the hopes of reselling them at astronomical prices later on.

The thing is, if the Palace didn’t know about the child’s birth until after the fact like the rest of the world, it would mean Harry and his wife cared far more about domain purchases than telling their own families about the child’s arrival. That is in itself, colder than cold. It reiterates my own belief behind why they chose Lilibet. But again, I am off topic. Back to why they chose Lilibet.

Aside from the fact the name Lilibet has had almost nine decades to settle and resonate in the minds of humanity, there is another reason the name could’ve been chosen. You see, now when people hear the child’s name, they will automatically see the Queen’s face in their minds. That also means when the next in line to the throne becomes the one sitting on the throne, he too will automatically think of his mother when considering his granddaughter.

What a clever way to ensure the child is on the receiving end of falsely displaced affections and a strong emotional response given by the next in line, even if the next in line never meets the granddaughter. Let me give you an example that better explains this. My husband always said if we had a daughter, we would name her after his father. The name would be varied in spelling to make it feminine, but nonetheless, it would sound exactly like his father’s name. My husband’s father died over a decade ago when my husband was in his twenties. My husband and his father had a good relationship overall, but his father had a serious drinking problem. His father didn’t stop drinking until after my husband was grown. So, there are expected hard feelings that exist within my husband about his late father. It would make sense to say the namesake would trigger those hard feelings, even if unintentionally done, that my husband still has regarding his father. He would think of his dad every time he saw his daughter. Thank God we didn’t ever have a daughter.

With Lilibet, even long after the Queen is gone, the name will always trigger the emotions, thoughts, and affections held by the thinker. In other words, even though Charles knows the granddaughter is not his mother, when he hears the name Lilibet, he will think of his mother first. So, when it comes time for the future King Charles to decide on what to do regarding titles or involvements of Harry or his children, it will be harder for a sensitive man like Charles to be stern.

Naming the child Lilibet Diana is a double trigger for Charles. But the first name is enough to surpass the middle one. In a way, naming the child Lilibet is guaranteeing the mother’s future hope for the children regarding roles in the Royal Family. It is not the actual, physical involvement they need within the Royal Family. They simply need word associations and links to the Royal Family to continue monetizing them here in the US; the reason the US is their target audience is simple. The US lacks the basic understanding of monarchy, and there is a common stance if you make it big in America, you make it everywhere else in the world.

Since the recent attacks coming from Harry greatly reduces the chances for the wife to strengthen these links, the name was her only option. And now we even have stories coming out saying the wife is looking to HRH Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge for help mending fences they themselves ruined. Which makes me believe even more that the choice of name was a marketing tool. Just like people displaced their affections and love for Diana toward Harry, Harry’s wife is hoping the same will happen with their second child. Slick, slick move.

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scribbleseas · 3 years

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The Indignant Pawn, Chapter VI: The Importance of Pluck

Description: You are Y/n Y/l/n- formerly known as Princess Helena, the runaway princess.

You're an assassin for hire who only agrees to find the worst of London's criminals at the business end of your knife; until a mysterious woman hires you to end the likes of Ciel Phantomhive, the King of the Underworld. You find yourself trading your weapons for your abandoned family crest in order to infiltrate his home as none other than Princess Marie-Louise, your twin sister. What's to happen when you find that the young Earl is more than a callous businessman?

OVERALL STORY WARNINGS: sexual assault, objectification, misogyny, death, detailed description of blood/gore, detailed description of murder, lying, impersonation, theft, weapons, detailed panic attacks and flashbacks, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Author’s Note: Hi! Thank you so much for enjoying this story so far! I can’t wait to take you down this wild road with this cast of characters. As always, if you have any questions or concerns about the story warnings, please don’t hesitate to contact me! Please note that the warnings are subject to change by each chapter.

-Dan

⇠ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ⇢

. . .

FEBRUARY 14TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

“Y/n!” Andrea’s calloused hands pulled you into a tight bear hug, causing you to stumble forward, uncoordinated by the sudden movement of the door and her springing towards you and Autumn. Reluctantly, you melted into the embrace from the sole reminder that this was the same woman that showed you the separation between your traumatic childhood and reclaiming this facade. Not to mention, a few phrases of conversational Spanish.

“Buena noches, Andrea,” (Good evening, Andrea) you greeted halfheartedly, your foul mood having yet to completely subside from the front of your mind. Without Doña’s need to meddle, you never would have needed to leave the warmth of the guest quarters in the middle of the night in the first place. The mission was completely under your control- the objective remaining as crystal clear as it was on day one. Killing Lord Phantomhive was not nearly the challenge your subconscious was making it out to be.

“¿Dónde está Doña?” (Where is Doña?) You asked once Andrea released you and motioned towards the reins that you clutched in your hand. Asking for the location of a local stable would have been next on your course of action. However, she seemed to know exactly where to keep Autumn for the time being.

“Inside...still waiting for you. Diego will show you the way,” the woman gestured to the familiar man as he crossed his arms in the doorframe. The same playful smirk tugged at his lips, suggesting that he heard some kind of joke that he didn’t dare repeat. Andrea started off with Autumn in tow, the horse’s tail flicking back and forth lethargically.

“The dress hugs tight,” Diego commented patronizingly as he led you through the hall. You could tell by his comment that Diego was only trying to provoke your outrage, no matter how you tried to keep your face neutral. Of course, the dress fit your frame better- you were eating three meals a day alongside some form of an extravagant dessert. There was no shame in enjoying good food while it was available to you.

“You’re one to talk,” you glared at Diego’s back as he walked. His black trench coat was tied around his lean frame tightly, the bottom shifting with each step that he took. The outline of his gun holster was clearly fastened around his waist beneath the coat. There was nothing more ridiculous than the thought of a man like Diego having the morality to murder someone. But you supposed if that was the case, he wouldn’t affiliate with women such as Doña- or yourself.

“Doña, she arrives,” Diego stopped short before a small living room. The vicinity was warmed by a tame fire in the fireplace, the orange hue painting the rest of the room. As the rest of the rooms were, this room was notably empty- save for two sofas and a single table between them.

The lady herself, Doña, occupied the middle of one of the couches, nursing a rum-spiked coffee, her thin fingers wrapped around the thin stem of the glass. The scent of the over-proofed rum drifted about the room, causing you to cringe. You’d never understand why Spaniards preferred their coffee with hard liquor mixed in- according to Andrea, the combination was called a carajillo.

“Lovely,” Doña’s painted lips spread into a satisfied grin, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards. “Sit Y/n. Sit,” she said, patting the cushion next to her with a free hand. You made it a point to sit in the middle of the empty sofa across from her, your hands smoothing over your petticoats as you regarded the light ecru Doña wore. The majority of the top layer was made of tulle so to create a softer ambiance to oppose her burgundy lip color- such as a shade that was forbidden for royalty, or any self-respecting woman.

“I’ll go help Carmen with the...bebé,” Diego cringed as the sound of Doña’s wailing child sounded from the floor above. “Excuse me.”

“I haven’t all night, Doña,” you snapped impetuously as you watched the woman’s face, contemplative as she listened to her daughter sob. You heard Carmen seethe ‘¿Por qué no podemos ponerla en adopción ya?’ and in response, Diego only laughed. Andrea was still putting your horse away, but the sobbing would likely stop the second she entered the baby’s line of sight.

“If only you had the same sense of urgency in completing the mission I assigned a month ago,” Doña took a long drink of her carajillo, her face twisting at the taste. “Did you not guarantee me seven days at most?”

In a fit of haughtiness, you had made a claim that went something along those lines. After all, the longest you spent on one mission before this one, was waiting for the servant rotation of Agatha Tolton to switch in your favor. The woman was rarely alone and you preferred to only kill your targets during a mission.

“There are unforeseen obstacles inside the estate,” you lied. In truth, you spent plenty of time alone with the Earl- three meals a day and occasionally, time in the foyer at night. Hiding your dagger in the folds of a nightgown and stabbing him wasn’t out of your capabilities and yet, you were postponing it for the comfortable treatment- even if it was all stolen from Marie’s identity.

“Unforeseen obstacles in the estate,” Doña repeated, unfazed by your lie. “What sort of obstacles could possibly be new to you?”

“There’s something...uncertain about his butler,” this concern nagged the back of your mind from the moment you got there. From the second he greeted you in flawless German and subtly as each day passed on. Despite being the head butler of the estate, he was too capable at some points- always being prepared when you and the Earl requested tea or hot chocolate in the dead of night, answering questions that you purposely keep from saying. His speed.

“Sebastian Michaelis?” Doña’s frown deepened, making her look at least five years older. Creases from constant scowling marred the corners of her lips and between her symmetrical eyebrows. “We discussed his role in Phantomhive’s life. You said-” her accent butchered the Earl’s name, turning the i into an e, which resulted in his name sounding more like Phantomheave, rather than Phantomhive.

“Doña, I’m aware of what I told you,” you hissed as she brought the flute of spiked coffee to her lips and drank again. “I said that he wouldn’t present an obstacle to my objective.”

“And yet?” She asked, goading your temper, tempting you to take the drink out of her hands and dump the rest of its steaming contents down her nightgown. Your fingers curled into fists, as you compelled yourself to stay seated on the couch. Your nails dug into the flesh of your palm, the sensation tolerable, but something to focus on, nevertheless.

“And yet, I’m reassessing my strategy because of him,” you lied. Sebastian made for a decent excuse, above all of his other uses.

A brief moment of silence passed before she asked, “must I eliminate him for you, Y/n? It would be a shame to need to aid my hired killer-...almost as distressing as wasting a handsome face such as his, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Looks have nothing to do with anything, Doña,” you ignored the turn of her curt grin while she finished off the rest of her carajillo with a sigh. She put the empty glass on the low table that sat in between the two of you, the bottom landing with a soft clink. “If I have to kill Sebastian Michaelis, I will do it myself.”

“We can share tactics with you,” Diego offered from the side of the room, where he and Carmen were standing. The baby had stopped wailing several minutes ago, moments after Andrea returned from putting your horse away. “You seem as if you need many,” he teased, sharing a patronizing laugh with Doña. At your glare, his face sobered, although a smile seemed to taunt the corners of his lips.

“Your tactics,” you scoffed, “what skill does it take to pull the trigger of a gun?” You could recall the weight of the handgun you had used at fourteen, successfully killing two men within minutes of each other. How could Diego pride his reliance on a weapon?

“You bitch! You’ll, you’re going to bloody p--” James screamed, glowering at you as he struggled to get his fumbling hands in place. But he was too slow. He fell to the ground, blood beginning to blossom near his lower ribs.

“You’re a clever one, Princess,” Diego chuckled, showing the palms of his hands in defeat. “I might ask you for tactics for how you look so detached,” he quipped, shaking his shoulders to create an animated shiver.

“Princesa de Hielo,” Carmen mumbled, which caused Doña to laugh again, the effects of rum beginning to seep into her cold personage. Her deep brown eyes settled back on you, hardening as you met her gaze. Eye contact was quite a fragile social concept- you weren’t confident with Spanish customs, but in Germany, it expressed attentiveness but in excess it expressed pride.

“The two of you...go retrieve Y/n’s horse. She’s souring the atmosphere,” Doña shifted on the couch to turn her back to you, and the liquid in her glass flute hit the side and slid down again. There wasn’t much to the drink when you sat down in the first place and now, the glass was nearly empty.

Doña waited for Diego and Carmen to leave before she lazily got to her feet and stood before you, her expression sobering as if she hadn’t finished off her drink. With her proximity, you could smell the faint tinge of rum from her lips. “And as for you- I want him dead. I don’t care how it’s done- simply finish him off and you’ll have your compensation. Do you understand?”

Her pupils were nearly swallowed whole by her umber irises, the threat in them ever-present.

. . .

FEBRUARY 15TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

Within the first few minutes of riding back to the Phantomhive Estate, snow began to fall, dropping from the clouds in fat flurries that rolled down your neck and made it nearly impossible to see fifteen feet in front of you. The wind whistled in your ears as you encouraged Autumn to continue her steady gait, even as the snow began to stick on the cobblestone streets of the city.

The distance from the manor to the heart of the city was sizable without the beginnings of a blizzard, but the horse’s hesitation, as well as your own, had severely delayed your arrival time. In fact, by the time you were scaling the wall of the manor, the sun was beginning to ascend the horizon, starting the day as the snow continued to pile and stick. Your fingers were numb since you had to remove your thick gloves to properly cling to the stones that jutted out of the main house’s foundation, leaving them vulnerable to the sharp surfaces and cold air. You were lucky that your quarters were located on the second floor, but that wouldn’t matter if Mey-Rin found the room empty upon entering to wake you.

The moment you reached the window beside your bed, you swung one leg over the still and then the other, reveling in the fact that you had, in fact, managed to return before Mey-Rin entered to wake you. Your trembling hands made messy work of tearing off the sides of the gown that were pinned to the stays on your coset, letting each piece of your riding habit fall carelessly to the floorboards until you were left standing in your corset that sat over your white shift- the base of any dress. Unlacing it was never this challenging when you sported middle-class clothing articles, leaving you to tug at the strands that kept the constrictive item together as several pairs of footsteps began to grow closer to the closed door of your quarters.

Your front teeth sunk into the inside of your lip as your descent into panic worsened with each passing second, fruitlessly attempting to untie the knots that you had secured yourself. Clearly, you had made some kind of mistake in re-dressing yourself prior to leaving for Doña’s new home.

This was exactly what you had feared.

“And you absolutely certain she isn’t here, Mey-Rin?” Sebastian’s posh voice questioned, moments before the door swung open, revealing you half-dressed and positioned in front of your open window. Mey-Rin and Sebastian were behind the Earl, the maid’s eyes glassy as if she was about to cry, and the butler’s face completely impassive, like a statue’s. Instantaneously, the Earl’s gaze fled to the ceiling, the floor, anywhere as long as it wasn’t on you.

Your hands fell to your sides and in the most delayed reaction, you exclaimed, “raus!” (out!). You turned your back to the doorway and hugged yourself.

“I believe she is far from missing, thank you,” the Earl’s voice was steadier than you would have anticipated, “my apologies, Your Highness,” the sound of rapid steps that implied his and Sebastian’s departure down the corridor followed as you released a weak exhale.

“I came to wake you and you were missin’, yes you were,” Mey-Rin said . “I assumed the worst, I’m sorry Your Highness.” she asked for permission to undo the thick knots that you couldn’t undo. You nodded once, facing her as she nimbly undid each one. “The young master is going to want to know where you were off to...he was awfully concerned havin’ just returned from Lady Elizabeth’s…” if Mey-Rin wasn’t paid to fuss over you, you might’ve pitied her.

“I love the snow. I wanted to be outside on my own- I thought I could return before you notice I went out,” you explained, the lie was on the tip of your tongue from the moment you fell behind your plan. Mey-Rin breathed a sigh of relief and began to properly lace the corset and fasten a new stomacher, this one was a deep shade of red, resembling claret with its notes of magenta. The rest of the gown matched the shade.

“The snow is much prettier here in the countryside," Mey-Rin agreed as she continue to prepare you for the rest of the day; twisting your hair into another tight bun, brushes of powder over your face and shoulders and gentle hands of rogue on the apples of your cheeks. Within several strokes of a brush, your familiar blemishes disappeared- like a wave of a magic wand.

Each step from your room to the main dining room maximized the nostalgic pit in your stomach. You sat to the Earl’s side at the breakfast table, as per usual. He was uncharacteristically quiet, leisurely lifting his steaming cup of tea to his lips and taking a long drink, his eye having yet to properly leave you. Lord Phantomhive did well to remind you of Governess Lydia and the countless instances you were scolded by the woman after an unbearably long silence.

As a grown woman, you were too old for this.

“Lord Phantomhive-” you started, only to be swiftly interrupted by the loud clunk that punctuated when he aggressively returned his teacup to its saucer on the table. Droplets of tea ran down the porcelain and pooled on the small dish. What waste.

His voice was fatally calm and as per usual, each word was punctuated to the syllable. “I am entrusted with your life, Your Highness. I thought it was clear that you aren’t to leave this estate unaccompanied without myself or Sebastian,” he said, “My duty to Her Majesty is to protect you to the extent of my capabilities and beyond that.”

“I was within the perimeter of this estate!” You countered, your hand pausing as you were about to spread a healthy bit of margarine over the head of a muffin, that Sebastian had decapitated for you. Instead, the continent fell from the smooth blade of your knife in a heap before you began to spread it. “If that is your grievance with this morning, then your contention is certainly misplaced. It should not be a crime for me to wish to be outside. Alone.”

“Your Highness, there is a death threat over your head. Your going outside unaccompanied is a point of contention for me, yes,” the Earl said, as if this information should have been obvious. Granted it made logical sense- defenseless royalty needed to remain within lines of defense, however, you posed as a needy princess who was unacquainted with the concept of no. “If you are so fascinated with snow, a commonality in your home country, then you might wait to ask-”

“Thank you for your concern,” you intervened icily, aware that you had waged a losing battle from the moment you protested. “Keep in mind that it’s quite easy for the walls of this mansion to grow dull, My Lord.”

. . .

FEBRUARY 17TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

The world outside of the windows was blank- completely grey and white. For the third day in a row, you were trapped indoors, hiding from the dense blizzard and idly roaming the layout of the estate. Every single room was familiar to you now- studied not once, but multiple times, making it simple for you to find the source of the rich violin that reverberated throughout the second floor of the mansion. Each step you grew closer to the frantic melody, vaguely aware of how clumsily you moved from the haste of your curiosity. The dramatic violin picked up, growing louder, steadier and more urgent the closer you came. The violin belonged to a special place within your battered heart- the noise caused goosebumps to erupt up and down your arms, despite the plentiful warmth that generated throughout the manor.

From under the closed door, a metronome prudently clicked away and your fingers immediately tapped against your petticoat in response, corresponding with it as your eyes stared into the painted wood of the door in front of you, your dominant hand resting on the gold knob.

One and a two, one and a two, one and a two...

The piece was executed flawlessly- until a new passage began and gradually fell behind the tics of the metronome and your fingers as they continuously tapped your skirt. It wasn’t long until the instrument abruptly paused, leaving the mansion to silence once again.

“Your technique leaves much to be desired, which is why you fell behind. Perhaps a proper audience might motivate you, sir,” Sebastian suggested, his voice muffled by the door. You were in the process of turning back to the library to continue the book you had abandoned to stretch your legs, but instead, Sebastian opened the door behind you.

“Your Highness, it would be a privilege for my master to entertain you with his most recent selection: J.S Bach’s Partita for Violin Solo,” Sebastian explained, forgoing his typical use of German, “it would be terribly rude to allow you to listen from outside as he would otherwise have it,” he said pointedly, showing you to a plush loveseat as the Earl stood, his violin and bow poised in hand while he glowered at the score on the music stand in front of him.

“I appreciate it,” you took the offered seat and watched as Sebastian started the metronome once again and pushed up his glasses, which seemed special to his role as a tutor.

“Again, from the twelfth line. This time, perhaps watch your spiccato and left hand articulation- the aim is to hear every note unequivocally, yet remain up to speed,” Sebastian said, but you suspected that the Earl had properly tuned him out in order to prepare to lift the violin and prepare to play again.

Your gaze was drawn to his fingers as they danced along the neck of the violin, pressing and moving every second with the tact of a seasoned player. In the light, the gems on his rings winked as the light’s perspective on them changed as he played. It was mesmerizing in a sense, watching the Earl focus on one task entirely. His eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully, drawing closer together during more difficult areas of the piece. You watched his expression remain the same during each time he ran through the section that Sebastian requested as he slowly worked through the tense parts until the butler excused himself in order to begin the preparations for supper.

“Have you played for long?” you asked, watching as he loosened the string of his bow and began to wipe it with a small, neatly folded cloth.

“About four years now, I believe,” he cautiously laid the bow and the violin to rest in their case. “Do you play?”

“No,” you said, without thinking. “I am much more partial to the harp- my sister played the violin,” you attempted to maintain the neutrality in your face upon recognizing your mistake. Marie was a mediocre violinist, which meant that the proper answer would have been ‘yes, but not quite so well’. Instead, you implied that Marie was a harpist and the missing, presumably dead princess played the violin. It was a fact that the royal family did not understand until you had left and there was no one playing the harp in the castle. However, it was not common knowledge that either princess had proficiency with the harp in the first place.

He wouldn’t catch such an inconspicuous mistake.

“The harp,” Lord Phantomhive mused, as if the thought amused him. “Fitting, I reckon.”

Frankly, you couldn’t remember the last time you touched the delicate strings of a harp, the sensation of their vibrations against your fingertips. As a girl, it was the only outlet that you could express yourself without breaking any rules- for the most part, at least.

. . .

The thick blankets of puffy snow on the ground made it so even the postage arrived late that evening, since roads leading to the countryside out of the city had yet to be cleared. Thus, the Earl flipped through the Westminster Review and you pretended to consciously read the English Woman’s Journal post-supper, between taking turns in a slow-moving chess game, rather than reading through the news at the breakfast table.

You absentmindedly fiddled with the corner of the thin printed paper as you instead watched the Earl regard the ornate chess set that sat in the middle of you, his side black and yours white. For the second time that day, you were met with his face of complete thought and focus- even if the game was already won on his part.

Frankly, the Earl was an aggressive player and you weren’t accustomed to someone who played sharply and meticulously at once. Not to mention, the last time you played chess, you were about twelve and huddled up in layers of clothing inside, attempting to stay warm in the conman’s measly shack as the two of you hid from the winter that nipped at your noses. “Checkmate,” he sounded as if he was much too accustomed to saying it. The smug tilt of his head merely exaggerated the false humility of his.

Even though you expected him to make that exact move, your shoulders slumped anyway as you huffed impertinently. You were never the best at losing graceful; not in the castle, not with the conman and certainly not by yourself. Especially coming off of your second loss that night.

“This evening was the first as well as the last time I’m playing chess as your opponent, Lord Phantomhive,” you rolled your eyes, tentatively scoffing as you began to reset the board, abandoning the newspaper entirely.

“Competitive, Your Highness?”

“Everyone is,” you responded, “the nature of humanity is to win; be it a war, or a simple game of chess. I despise any loss and I’m certain you feel the same, My Lord,” you ignored the piqued quirk of his eyebrow to properly finish setting the pieces to their starting square.

“I do fit the requisites by simply being anyone- or a human, at the very least,” Lord Phantomhive seemed almost too amused by the statement- and the entendre went above your head. What was the alternative to not being human? You weren’t one to believe in anything you could not see and if there in fact, gods and demons among civilization, surely you might have attracted one, given the life you led. However, you didn’t entertain the thought beyond a stoic chuckle. “Why don’t we begin the next round, best out of five?” he suggested.

“You’re only after the satisfaction of winning five matches against me. Two ought to be plenty,” you accused, not that you blamed him. If your strategic mind could translate to ornate pieces on a board as it did with your profession, then you would happily play the Earl time and time again simply to win.

“Fine, then. Why don’t you choose the next game?” Lord Phantomhive gestured lazily towards the armoire that stood against the wall. Sebastian opened it earlier to retrieve the chess pieces from their velvet box and among the shelves were several boxes of games- several produced by the Funtom Company. Picking one of those would be nearly an instantaneous loss, considering he had a hand in creating it. You decided to settle on a classic and gingerly pulled the box that was labeled draughts.

Draughts was an easier game in comparison to chess- while each had clear winning objectives, draughts was a straightforward game- capture the opponent’s pieces with your own. Each had equal strength until later in the game, whereas chess was a complex strategic war from the start. Playing draughts, there was much less room for error as games ought to be. Besides, you took pleasure in watching the Earl struggling to move pieces with equal power across the board while you played checkers countless of times against the conman and his friends, on the occasion.

Before you could finish the rest of your newspaper (the poetry bit was rather strenuous to get through), one of your double-stacked pieces- a king- double jumped his, decisively ending the first game of checkers of the night. “I thought you would show more of a fight, My Lord,” you scooped a victorious hunk out of the cheesecake that Sebastian delivered minutes prior. The rich Quark cheese was sweet, marrying the tart raspberry compote that was drizzled on top, syrupy in nature as it pooled around the remnants of the cake slice.

“Chess and draughts require different sets of strategies,” Lord Phantomhive responded, feigning nonchalance so as to take the loss civilly but nevertheless, he wore his frustration on his tightly pursed lips and a lack of eye contact which he normally provided in excess. “I’d bet I could win the next round now that I’m...acquainted with your style of playing.”

“Fine,” you aquised, “one last round for tonight because I simply must see you defeated again.”

. . .

FEBRUARY 24TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

If this pedal harp had eyes, it would have glared at you from across the music room. It was taller than you- glorious and intimidating, the dozens of strings perhaps daring you to pluck at them. The column was made of solid gold and with Lord Phantomhive’s fortune, you could assume that it was as genuine as the rest of the novelties that lived among the estate. This harp was perhaps the most intricate one you had ever laid eyes on, besting the rich mahogany instrument that you learned on as a girl. It was mandatory for the princesses of Schleswig-Holstein to practice womanly, demere hobbies and paradoxically, Marie was by far the worst violinist in Europe in spite of displaying every other desirable trait a young princess could wish to emote.

You were the most gifted musician out of the four heirs to the German throne, which was a fact that Governess Lydia preferred to keep to herself. Nobody needed to know that it was Glücksburg Castle’s Devil Child who was producing fiercely beautiful Mozart concertos from the confinement of her quarters after a good repremandment for misbehavior.

“My master requested this pedal harp to be handcrafted for you by George W. Lyon and Patrick Healy, the founders of Lyon and Healy- an overseas company that qualifies as the cornerstone of quality instrument creation. He corresponded closely with the two men over the past week,” you could hear Sebastian’s overly saccharine simper, even as you closely inspected the floral engravings that decorated the harp’s crown, straight down to its foot. The golden column must have been polished recently but even so, it couldn’t completely outshine the work that was put into styling the harp’s wooden soundboard and the neck, which was its signature concave top. “I do hope it's to your satisfaction- the Lord Phantomhive was eager to present it himself, however-”

“He is occupied with hosting his emergent business meeting,” you interrupted haphazardly. The Earl wouldn’t care about the Funtom Company once he was dead and besides, you couldn’t seem to find out why water damage within a single cacao refinery was such a major issue. There were dozens of cacao refineries that Lord Phantomhive funded- nosing through his official documents had told you so. “Well...think nothing of it, I suppose.”

“Of course,” Sebastian bowed, his hand over his heart, “your leniency is much appreciated, Your Highness.”

“I would appreciate being left to my own about now,” your fingertips brushed over a red string, which indicated that it was a C. On the harp, the strings were colored, indicating different notes and as if in a trance, you were tempted to play more of them as Sebastian left the room.

The blue strings were F strings, A string was the string in the middle of the groups of three, if your memory served you well. It had been about a decade since you last touched one with the intent to sit down and play. You doubted you could, the longer you stared at the abundance of strings and yet, you claimed the upholstered chair behind it anyhow, sitting down. You cautiously pulled the harp back towards you until you found its balance point and allowed it to rest gently against your chest- practically weightless.

Your the rest of your body seemed to recognize this more than your mind as you subconsciously repositioned the front of the harp to angle it. You could hear Lydia’s seething tone telling you to keep your arms “Halten Sie Ihre Arme in einem Winkel von 45 Grad zur Senkrechten!” (Keep your arms 45 degrees from the vertical!) properly from your body, your wrists curving gently towards the strings.

Playing the harp was your escape as a child and there you were, once again in need of an escape. Being in a strenuous position with no clear course of action...maybe you hadn’t grown nearly as much as you thought you had.

Or at all.

The back of your neck provided an affirmative stab, causing you to bite your bottom lip, paying the chapped skin over it no mind. Ignoring the reality of the situation, did you well- it chased away nightmares, the interrupting thoughts and ironically, you were sitting before an instrument that used to help you do just that. Except, all it was doing for you then was stir thoughts and memories that could have used to remain secluded for at least one more day.

“Mozart himself would have treasured your talent, dear girl,” Ida, one of the many maids that were assigned to prepare your sister for important events said. She was tying the back of Marie’s dress from the back, the satin laces a deep abrugene to match the rest of the garment. For young girls, clothing was quite simple- pinafores, dresses, sensible flats or boots. You weren’t introduced to the horrors of training crinolines and corsets until it was the year you went missing and stayed that way.

“It was nothing, Ida,” Marie-Louise yawned, extending her hand out to another maid, Lotte for her to slide a lace glove onto it, pulling it up to reach her forearm. The team of three maids worked around her like bees in a hive, hovering and flitting about, making useless conversation to please a girl who was nowhere near half of their age. “Music comes easy to me.”

No, it didn’t. The extent of Marie’s musical ability was to pick up a violin and brandish the bow, only to force the poor instrument to squeal about a few noises before she gave up. Marie liked everything to come easy to her- she liked to be a natural talent, a prodigy with anything she attempted.

Music came easily to you, but within the walls of Glücksburg Castle, all you knew how to accomplish was wreak havoc and delay plans. It didn’t make sense for music to come easily to you and so, no one believed you, no matter what you said or how you said it.

“They ought to organize a recital for you, Your Highness. Her Majesty would adore hearing you play,” Lotte suggested with a smile that seemed forced- like clothespins were pinching the corners of her lips and cheeks in place.

“Why do that when Mr. Brahms and Mr. Strauss performed for us already?” You couldn’t help but interject, their words irking you as you stood on the other side of the large quarters- in front of your own separate vanity and armoire. Two other maids, Emery and Katharina were assigned to you were also whisking around you like overeager bees, but they didn’t bother to coddle your self esteem. You appreciated that they did their job and silently at that. Nothing could convince you to forget the disappointment that furrowed their faces when they learned that they would be tended to you instead of your mother or your sister. They were treated with stiff contempt from the minute they introduced themselves in lieu of it. “They’re musical geniuses and you’re a princess.”

A lying princess, at that.

You were asked to remain looking forward while Emery caked your face and neck in thick powder and rouge and Katharina tied a chain of pearls around it. It was the exact ensemble that your sister’s team was assembling for her, except Ida and Lotte were much less time-efficient. The point was, Marie-Louise was free to face and glare at the side of your head, her seven-year-old mind trying to formulate a witty, yet tactful response.

“You’re a princess as well, Helena,” Marie-Louise hissed, “but you just can’t ever be normal and act like one.” It always had to come down to that, didn’t it.

“Just when did Governess Lydia teach us to lie in Etiquette Class?” You turned to your sister, which was admittedly, the equivalent of staring at a scowling mirage of yourself, who seemed to be on the verge of shedding frustrated tears. Satisfaction bloomed in your chest. “I must have properly missed such a lesson, considering everybody seems to abide by it.”

“Please, that is quite enough, miss. Supper is nearing and we wouldn’t want to present you both late. Poor form is unbecoming,” Ida, the most experienced maid only scolded you in the process of intervening. That was to be expected.

You didn’t respond and simply allowed Emery to part and braid your hair into a tight bun as Katharina secured your boots in tense silence. Most of your life up to that point was in tense, furthering silence anyway and yet, the royal family had the audacity to be surprised when you fled.

Supper was always the same. Your older brothers, Albert and Christian sat prudently on one side of the table, you and Marie-Louise were across from them and your mother was absent, visiting the Hampton Court Palace to see the Royal School of Needlework to its opening, since she was its first president. While she was one of the most active people in the royal family in charity work, her duty as a mother ended the moment she pushed the twins out of her womb.

“Helena,” Christian said, acting as if he had lived through the many experiences of a king in only sixteen years. “Your Royal Guard came looking for you in the cricket field this morning- again. Where were you off to today?”

“I was with Hanna,” you lied, puncturing the rough exterior of the sausage on your plate with the tip of your knife before properly slicing it. In truth, you hid yourself in the stables because the animals were better company that anyone on castle grounds. “We were-”

“When did Governess Lydia teach us to lie in Etiquette Class?” Marie-Louise mimicked your words from prior, purposely making a mockery of your voice as she scrunched her nose. “Thora went out to sit with the pigs and the filth, Christle,” she explained employing the frankly bothersome, nicknames that your grandmother started.

Christian ignored her and instead gave your father a long look, trying to get him to instead chastise you but to no avail. His Majesty was much too occupied with attempting to stab a piece of sausage whilst reading a letter. Kingly duties- and this was what your older brothers wished to embody.

“It’s getting cold. If you’re so compelled to ignore your duties, may as well do it safely,” Christian mumbed gruffly, causing Albert to snicker in turn. Albert had the right of it as you fought a grin, setting your utensils down to signify that you were finished with your meal- the tips of your fork and knife met on an angle at the top of your plate, similar to a triangle.

“Very well, Christle,” you stood up from your chair, breaking the code of the highest ranking individual needing to finish his meal before anyone else left the dining table. In which case, that would be your father who was still satisfying himself with a serving of knödeln- potato dumplings. He mouthed each word that he read because it was likely written in French or English. “I ought to go to amuse myself, then.”

You showed yourself back to your quarters, Ida’s pleas for you to return to the meal and properly wait for His Majesty to end it. You hesitated in front of the closed door, the impertinent anger from your sister’s mere existence returned in seconds, causing you to impulsively go to the games room, where the harp was kept, and do exactly as you were forbidden to.

You were forbidden from playing while Marie-Louise was occupied elsewhere- a rule that Lydia had threatened you over. But the moment that servants understood that it was your mastery that filled the castle corridors, they would detest it. Marie-Louise could live with being a little less affable in their eyes and even if she could not…

Some deserved not to.

You opened your eyes, unconscious to when they had closed. Your fingers froze, the skin on them raw and burning familiarly, your wrists protesting the angle you held them at. Your hands trembled having expertly recalled the daringly simple melody of Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major, but before you could try to recall some piece by Liszt (the name was lost to you), Mey-Rin entered which was likely for the better. You were prepared to sit on that chair until your fingers bled, in spite of what it made you recall.

“Lunch is about ready,” Mey-Rin’s eyes were red and bleary, but you made no effort to question it, thankful that she refrained from commenting on your playing. “Are you feelin’ alright ma’am? You’ve gone a bit red.”

“Yes, thank you. I might’ve overexerted myself,” you suggested, which was true. Your head pounded the moment you tried to stand.

“Why don’t I bring it all up to your room,” she offered, “you just rest.” She briefly looked down at her boots, presumably checking the laces because tripping was quite a common occurrence for her. How the fragile antiques that Lord Phantomhive collected remained whole was beyond you when the only maid was a clumsy and slightly gullible...täuschen, or half-wit, as the conman might’ve said. But in this case, she had a point. Nothing sounded more appealing than having lunch alone in your room- without his (snarky) Lordship.

. . .

There were no time constraints at the estate- absolutely none that told you when you could play or when you couldn’t.

This was exactly how you found yourself before the harp once after your nightly routine concluded. You were pulling the harp back to lean on your shoulder like a woman possessed, hungry for control of some kind. Whether it be dragging the blade of a knife across your victim’s throat or more realistically, pulling the strings of a brilliant instrument that must have cost half of a fortune to commission. Besides, if you killed Lord Phantomhive, you would have to leave before having at least a few more chances to make the beautiful instrument sing.

The hour called for something demure, rather than you experimenting with what your muscle memory could or could not conjure. You immediately began with Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major once again, willing your gaze to remain on your hands, actively fighting off any intersecting train of thought while you played. You focused on every flick of your wrists, the shift of your slipper on the pedals all while your hands knew exactly where they needed to be and when.

At least they did before the shrill vibrato of a violin interjected the alto hum made by your harp. It came from the next room over, the Earl’s office, no less clearer than it would have been from a few feet in front of you. The violin took the melody that you willingly surrendered for the sake of keeping the piece uncluttered and subtle, as it was intended to be.

This was how Lydia wanted an accompaniment between you and Marie to play out- you vaguely recalled the sheet music that she painfully attempted to teach her. Clearly, your counterpart was never able to grasp the music well enough and the accompaniment never took place- even after you embarrassed her that night. After your father dismissed your siblings, she came to the music room and had an... entirely becoming temper tantrum in your face- such a display would have ended with you being locked in a closet for several hours. Ida simply escorted her back to the quarters you shared and made her a glass of chamomile tea to calm her down.

As the piece came to a mutual decrescendo, it slowly faded away, ending with a soft glissando. It was unlike Lord Phantomhive to give you the last word without so much as the irked look or in this case, an irked trill.

Tags:

#ciel phantomhive x reader #ciel x reader #black butler #black butler fanfic #strangers to lovers #anime fanfiction #murder #angst #historical fiction #historical romance #victorian era #the indignant pawn

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nobodyfamousposts · 4 years

Text

BURN THE WITCH! Part 6

Well...you all did ask...

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Marinette chanted as she ran.

Not that anyone was chasing her or there was even any reason to run with Fu completely knocked out. Honestly, she may have just been running from her own guilt more than anything by this point.

She didn’t stop running until she was at least a good several blocks away. Her legs were burning and she was gasping for breath when she finally felt she had made it far enough to rest. With her mind running a mile a minute, she somehow managed to find an alleyway between two mostly empty storefronts to use as a hiding space to try and regroup.

“I’m so sorry…” She had attacked Master Fu. She had hit her mentor over the head. SHE HIT AN ELDERLY MAN WITH A FRYING PAN!

“You should be sorry!” Tikki admonished her from her hiding place in Marinette’s bag. “Now there won’t be anyone to sell us popcorn!”

“NotnowTikki!”

Okay. Okay. Recap.

She had the Dragon Miraculous—even if she’d had to knock out Master Fu to get it, which was a horrible thing to do even if it did at least prevent him from stopping her or trying anything to help the akuma because the other Miraculous users were mostly if not all likely under the akuma’s influence by now and fighting them to try and save Lila was NOT something she wanted to do today on top of everything else…

The akuma has had time to get more followers and seems to have amassed a greater army by this point. The lynch mob that those followers have become were apparently in the process of trying to 1) hunt down Lila and 2) set up a pyre for the intended burning. While the followers have been focused on those two things, the akuma herself has been mobile and roaming around Paris, seemingly for the purpose of finding Lila while also enthralling more followers to aid her cause.

Tikki was one of those under the akuma’s influence as well. So far she had been trying to convince Marinette to not try and save Lila, which was…frustratingly tempting but not overall harmful. What WAS of concern was the question of what effect Tikki’s condition would have on Ladybug once transformed. Would Ladybug immediately be under the akuma’s thrall as well? Or would Tikki’s state influence the Lucky Charm? The former seemed unlikely, but she couldn’t rule out the latter.

There has as of yet been no sign of Chat Noir. She had no way of knowing where he was or if the akuma had already gotten to him. Her hope was that he, like Marinette, was also unaffected by the akuma’s words since he also knew what Lila was capable of. Or he should at least, given they were both aware of Lila’s multiple akumatizations and her helping Hawk Moth. He may not go to her school or know Lila personally, but he should know that much, right?

And then there was Lila herself. Marinette had no idea where she had escaped to after her failed attempt to sacrifice Marinette to the angry mob, but she at least knew that the mob hadn’t found her yet. She wanted to take some relief at that, but unfortunately knew she couldn’t. Given Lila’s previous antics and that the fact she was being hunted did nothing to even so much as slow her down from attempting other self-serving things, Marinette was honestly more worried about what all Lila could have gotten up to. While the smart thing to do would be to hide somewhere and wait, Marinette wouldn’t put it past the liar to take advantage of whatever opportunity this mess could give her, even at the risk of her own safety.

Part of her felt guilty for that being her bigger concern. The rest of her, however, knew better. She knew full well what Lila was like, after all. She had seen her at her worst first-hand.

Maybe that was why she hadn’t fallen under the akuma’s sway? Even if she didn’t know every horrible the things Lila had done, she still knew Lila was capable of anything. So nothing the akuma announced Lila has done actually surprised her.

It may only be a matter of time, though. Even Ladybug had her limits.

“Okay. Okay.” Marinette slapped her cheeks to focus. “Just…find the akuma, purify it, and this will all be over.”

Well, not ALL over. There would still be the matter of Lila’s theft and reveal of her lies. That money needed to be recovered. Rose still needed help. There were legal issues to take into account. But there were still plenty of ways of dealing with those things. Ways which didn’t involve fire.

Marinette just needed to deal with the akuma so she could actually have some peace to address those problems. Or at the very least, so the world would stop trying to tempt her to allowing murder to take place.

Resolute and with a plan, Marinette walked out of the alleyway.

And right into one of the main sources of her troubles.

“Lila?!”

Speak of the devil…

“What happened to you?” Marinette asked, immediately concerned. Lila’s hair was damp and frizzing. It looked like she had just taken a shower—though the smell certainly said differently. Marinette had to fight the instinct to draw away from the odor. “Are you okay? And…wait…are those my clothes?” Marinette cut off with narrowed eyes at the girl as she recognized what she was wearing as coming from her own wardrobe.

“There was an unfortunate misunderstanding.” Lila said, waving it off.

Yeah, not buying it.

“Being?”

“Nothing you need to know about. I made it out, however, and your parents were happy to help me.” Lila said before looked down at her new attire, pulling at a sleeve distastefully. “I can’t say much about their taste though…”

“So you were at my house.” Which was no small cause of annoyance given that Marinette had been trying to take her there earlier, but knowing Lila had been in her home without her knowledge…

Marinette sighed, resigned. “What did you do?”

Lila gasped, looking affronted. “Why would you assume I did anything?”

Because Lila’s a lying snake she couldn’t trust with a stale bagel, much less her home.

She merely gave Lila a dry look. “Because if you had been at the bakery, there must be a reason why you’re out in the streets now.”

While she loved her parents dearly, they weren’t always the most dependable. Sabrina had gotten into her room once before by slipping past them when they weren’t paying attention to just WHOM was going up to her room. Then there was the situation with Chloe’s bracelet and her father doing more to admonish her for defending herself than helping her when she was accused. Or the way her parents didn’t really listen to her when Lila had gotten her expelled.

Knowing them, they would try and help Lila regardless of her previous false accusations. Even if it meant allowing Lila access to things she shouldn’t be allowed access to. Like Marinette’s clothes. Or her room.

…please say they didn’t let her into her room.

“I have better options for places to hide than a sad little one-note bakery.”

Marinette was not impressed. “Then why did you end up at the bakery instead of wherever that was?”

Lila laughed. “Well, they did offer. And who am I to turn down a free offer, even if it’s from your parents?” She shook her head. “You would think they would have known better. But they are rather trusting, aren’t they? They trusted me easily enough. First with your ‘crimes’ and now again.”

She clenched her fists. “Because you lied!”

“So what if I did? It says something when they were willing to believe me over you.” Lila shrugged, uncaringly. “But does it say more about me? Or you?”

Lila was clearly baiting her. But if nothing else, this day had taught Marinette to deny temptation.

“Are you REALLY trying to start a fight right now? In case it’s slipped your mind, Lila, there are a lot of very angry people trying to hunt you down. And every bad thing you do is only giving them more ammunition to want to hunt you!”

Lila hesitated at that, looking uncertain for all of a moment before settling back into cool confidence. “Those idiots would believe anything. I could just as easily tell them that everything from before was the result of another akuma. Or that my ‘illness’ was acting up. They would believe it that. After all, they believed me about all my other injuries.”

Marinette shook her head.

“You can’t keep it up forever, Lila. Your lies rely on emotional appeal to make people feel sorry for you or obligated to help you. But people will get tired of it and then what? You just move on to the next school?”

“The next school. The next community. The next city. The next country. It’s worked for me so far.”

“Because you’ve never been held accountable so far. But the mess you make isn’t going to go away this time.”

“It doesn’t matter. Ladybug will save me, and then she'll save the day, just like she always does. Because she just has to be ‘the hero’.” Lila rolled her eyes. “She's too much of a goodie two shoes to fall for mudslinging. Then all I have to do is point out to everyone that Ladybug herself believed in me when no one else did and they’ll fall back in line. I will be queen again. Or if I can’t continue there, I can simply transfer out and start over somewhere else where I can. So it really doesn't matter what happens."

Marinette didn’t even hide the glare at this point. “And who is going to help you survive that long? Who do you have in your back pocket who will be willing to face down an akuma leading an angry mob out for your head?”

She stepped forward and Lila took a tentative step back.

“I’m certainly not seeing anyone else here with you right now. I mean, sure, I was willing to help you, and then you literally tried to sacrifice me to the akuma. My parents would gladly have kept you safe at the bakery unless you did something. Who do you even have that you haven’t turned against you? I would love to know.”

“Hey, I had your friends in my corner.” Lila shot back.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Lila: right now, I am the only person anywhere close to your corner. In fact, I’m probably the only person in all of Paris who wants you to NOT die a horrible fiery death despite knowing full well just how horrible of a person you are.”

“And of course you’re so concerned about me.” Lila scoffed.

“Against my better judgement.” Marinette muttered.

“Oh please.” She replied with a roll of her eyes. “We both know you would happily leave me to perish if you had the chance.”

Marinette glared. “That’s the sort of thing you would do, Lila. But I’m not like you.”

She was angry. And she would be lying if there wasn’t a good part of her that wanted to simply give up

But Lila only sneered. “Of course not, you’re like Ladybug. Self righteous, holier-than-thou, so-called heroes who have to stick your noses into other people’s business even when it doesn’t affect you.”

“You were lying to people!” Marinette exclaimed hotly. It was perhaps a bit too loudly, but she was having increasing difficulty caring at this point.

“And what did that matter for either of you?”

Marinette bristled. But Lila ignored her, continuing to speak and defend herself.

“I only told people what they wanted to hear. Alya wanted news for her blog. The others wanted stories. Even Adrien wanted a connection to a superhero. So what did it matter if I gave it to them whether it was real or not? It didn’t warrant what Ladybug did. And anything I’ve done since didn’t have to happen if not for her. Honestly, this is really all her fault.”

“Ladybug’s fault?!” Marinette gaped.

She…she couldn’t be serious?

But Lila nodded, resolutely.

Marinette just stared. Did…did she really believe her own lies that much?

The fact that she was even now trying to justify it only made her more angry. Her actions as Ladybug weren’t the best, and were far from heroic. She admitted to being wrong and apologized at that time and even afterwards to no effect. But here and now, especially with Lila’s continued and even worsening antics, she wanted to defend her masked self. And this may be the only time she would get to do so.

“It’s not Ladybug’s fault you lied about being her best friend and another superhero to Adrien.”

Lila paused before frowning at Marinette, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “And how do you know about that?”

Normally, Marinette would have stumbled and tried to stutter out some weak excuse. But Marinette was tired, angry, and beyond caring. For once, she didn’t even miss a beat.

“Because it’s not like you were confronted by a superhero in a public park where anyone could happen to be nearby and witness it or anything.” She replied dryly.

Lila’s eyes widened. “So that’s how you knew I was lying?”

Marinette didn’t answer. Fortunately, she didn’t need to.

“I was just trying to impress Adrien. But he only had eyes for a superhero. Was it so wrong to want to get his attention the only way I could?” Lila said by way of explanation, sounding sad and hurt in a way Marinette could almost believe if it weren’t for the fact that the person it was coming from was Lila. And sure enough, Lila turned to Marinette, appearing for all intents and purposes as if they were somehow bonded through a shared suffering over a boy they both liked. “You know what it’s like, don’t you? The way he’s only watching her? Isn’t it unfair that for all the good you do for him, he doesn’t see you? That he worships a stranger in a mask over the real life hero who is beside him every day?”

Her words stung a bit, yes. Mostly because she knew they weren’t true. Adrien was in love with Kagami, not Ladybug. So whether or not Marinette was wearing a mask didn’t matter.

Thus she ignored Lila’s attempts to draw her in and focused on the glaring problem in her story.

“And what was she supposed to do if Adrien or Alya or anyone came up to her and asked her about you?”

And like that, Lila’s caring facade broke as her face twisted into an ugly snarl.

“She was supposed to never find out and just keep her mouth shut. But she went and blabbed. She made me look like a liar in front of Adrien.”

The fact that it was only because she WAS a liar seemed to not matter to her, much to Marinette’s disbelief.

“I had Adrien Agreste hanging off my every word and then she came along and ruined it!” Lila was seething at the memory.

Hearing all of this only made things worse. Even now, Lila saw nothing wrong with anything she did, only with how others responded to her. And to hear her blast Ladybug in such a way made Marinette’s ire rise.

“He would have figured it out.” Marinette pointed out. Adrien was smart. Trusting and kind, but not easily fooled. “You claimed to be a superhero but what was going to happen when you couldn’t transform or use your superpowers to back it.”

“I could just say I can’t transform without cause and compromise my identity—“

“Then why even tell him you were a hero in the first place?” Marinette countered, more annoyed. “The entire plan was stupid! You revealed yourself to a stranger for no real reason! You two didn’t know each other! You had no connection with him to establish trust or any reason TO tell him such vital information!”

Lila glared, looking downright petulant. “It wouldn’t have mattered if he believed me.”

Of all the…

“Even if he DID believe you at first,” Marinette continued. “It only would have made him more upset with you when the truth came out. And it would have come out soon enough. He was bound to notice that no Fox-themed hero was joining Ladybug in fights.”

“I would have been in reserve.” Lila reasoned.

“Given how bad some akumas have gotten, no amount of excuses could justify NOT using extra help. And what about when the other heroes started appearing? What, were you going to claim to be Rena Rouge?”

That made Lila grimace. “There weren’t supposed to BE any other heroes.”

Marinette threw up her hands. “You read the book! You saw the pictures! That’s how you even knew about Volpina in the first place!”

Lila blinked in surprise. “Wait, how do you know about that?”

Marinette glared angrily. “Who do you think returned that book to Adrien’s father after you threw it in the trash?”

“Oh right. You were spying on us.” Lila smirked.

“You’re lucky I was there at all!” Marinette bit out through gritted teeth. “That book belonged to Adrien’s FATHER! He was FURIOUS when it was lost! Enough that he was going to pull Adrien out of school for losing it!”

Which she was still upset over. Especially since she had taken the blame for it instead of admitting Lila did it.

“Even if your plan HAD worked, you wouldn’t have had a chance at Adrien anyway because he wouldn’t be in school anymore! He’s only in school now because I took the hit and returned it.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you only had the most ‘noble’ of intentions.” The other girl stated with a roll of your eyes. “And the fact that you would be losing any chance at Adrien had NOTHING to do with it. Don’t act like you’re any different.”

“I did it so HE would be happy.” Marinette insisted. “Because Adrien loves coming to school and I didn’t want him to lose that. Don’t even try to claim we’re the same when you’re the only reason he was put in that position in the first place!”

She was getting more heated and was finding it harder to care. But it was like everything Lila had done and every reason Marinette disliked her was rushing back into her head.

“The one thing I’ve noticed is that not only do you lie, but you don’t think your lies through. What was even the point of claiming all the things you did?” She questioned, looking at Lila in the eyes. Legitimately trying to understand. “You don’t just claim minor things to get by. You tell outrageous lies that are difficult to believe in the first place and are easy to disprove. And for what? To get people to hold things for you and buy you lunch or ice cream. Then what? It’s just…”

Pointless. That was the problem. Lila’s lies were completely pointless in the end. They offered some short term benefit but failed to hold up over time—whether in believability or interest. While it was true that Marinette’s concern was for her classmates who had no benefit from Lila’s lies, the thing was that Lila had nothing to gain from them either.

It was like she was lying for the sake of lying.

“Do you even notice the impact you’re having on others? Or care? What are you even getting out of it?”

What could possibly make it all worth it?

There was a period of silence as the two stared at each other.

Then Lila…

Lila just laughed.

“What don’t I get out of it? Their focus. Their adoration. I am their Queen in a way Chloe Bourgeois wishes she was. The center of attention. The one they adore. Wasn’t that why you really got upset with me that first day back?”

“What?”

“Oh come on, even you must get it or you wouldn’t try so hard to play up the ‘good girl’ angle to make people like you.”

Marinette drew back, confused.

“Everybody plays each other. That’s all anybody ever does. We play parts.”

She didn’t believe that. In a way she could try and understand Lila’s logic considering her secret identity. But even with her mask of Ladybug and her role as a hero, it wasn’t just a ‘part to play’. Ladybug was still Marinette, and Marinette was still Ladybug. They were parts, certainly, but they were both her.

The difference between Marinette with her dual roles and Lila with her lies was that Lila had a choice. She didn’t need to lie or pretend to be someone she wasn’t. And in that same vein, she certainly

“You chose to play this part.” Marinette argued. “You never had to lie for anyone to like you.”

“Oh please. Do you really think they would have done anything for me if I hadn’t lied?”

“YES. They were being nice! They’re nice people!”

Lila rolled her eyes, unimpressed.

“And,” Marinette continued. “You didn’t have to use and abuse their kindness the way you’ve been doing. There was no reason to lie to the extent you did. You could have avoided more trouble if you hadn’t. And yet you not only lied about running a charity, but you used the opportunity to steal the money Rose had raised. Was it even worth it?”

“I got some things out of it at least.” Lila said, uncaring.

“And one of those ‘things’ happens to be an akuma after your head. What plan could you possibly have to prevent THAT?”

"I have friends in high places." Lila stated in an infuriatingly smug manner.

"Unless one of those friends is Hawk Moth, that's not going to help you right now!"

Lila chuckled, giving Marinette a knowing look. As if she knew a secret.

And because it was Lila, who couldn’t seem to resist gloating when she thought she had the edge over someone else…

“Then I have nothing to worry about. It’s not like he would let anything happen. Not to me.”

“Wait—what?”

Marinette had known Lila had been akumatized more than once. She also knew that Lila had tried to help Hawk Moth before. But that had seemed like she had been taking advantage of circumstances at the time. She hadn’t realized Lila was actively working with Hawk Moth!

“Are you saying you’re working WITH Hawk Moth?!”

Lila held a hand to her mouth, looking innocent. “Not at all! I’m merely saying that I’m useful to him. Enough that it would benefit him more to keep me around than it would to let the akuma kill me.”

Marinette stared incredulously.

“Besides, even if Rose wants to harm me, Ladybug and Chat Noir always take priority. Once they show up, she’ll be too focused on them to care about me. And if she does get to me, Hawk Moth would stop it before it gets too far.”

“You’re trusting a supervillain to help you?”

She couldn’t be serious!

“He can’t afford to get rid of me. I came closest to defeating Ladybug and Chat Noir in my first akumatization.”

Oh god, she was serious.

“He doesn’t need you, Lila! Hawk Moth’s entire MO has been to manipulate and use people for his own ends! What makes you think you are any different?”

“Because I know how to play him and he knows how much I hate Ladybug.”

Marinette gaped.

“You really hate her that much over one incident? Are you really that petty that you would actively try to help the guy terrorizing Paris?”

It…she couldn’t even rationalize it.

Here Lila was, still completely lacking any personal accountability for anything. After lying and manipulating her friends. After stealing from Rose. After framing Marinette. After working against Ladybug. After admitting to using and manipulating Adrien. After trying to throw Marinette under the bus to save her own skin. After helping to create an akuma that even now was overtaking Paris. And all she could care about was how Ladybug pointed out she was a liar one time.

“She humiliated me!”

And Marinette was just done.

“GET OVER IT!”

Lila gaped at her in shock.

“Get. The hell. OVER it already! So Ladybug was mean when she called you out for lying about her and trying to make her look bad to prop yourself as a false hero to a boy you barely knew! CRY ME A RIVER!”

There was something amusing and even pleasing about the way Lila’s jaw opened and shut a few times before she managed to speak.

“But she made me look bad in front of Adrien!”

“Which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t of lied about her in the first place!“ Marinette countered, pointing at Lila angrily. “You lied about her to him. You lied about being a hero. You lied about being her friend. And you used that claimed position to then insult her to try and make her look bad just to make yourself look better in comparison based off a made up story! It’s no wonder she was mad at you!”

“She was just wanting Adrien for herself—“

Marinette leaned forward, pointing at Lila agitatedly and causing Lila to take a step back. “She called you out for lying about her and pretending to be a superhero! Which by the way, was not only stupid and rude but DANGEROUS!”

“I was fine until she showed up!” Lila hissed.

“You gave an interview on the Ladyblog claiming to be Ladybug’s best friend!” Marinette shouted, gesturing to the wider Paris to emphasize the point. “Did it not occur to you in the slightest how horribly dangerous that was? How BAD that could have gone? If any run of the mill criminal had believed it? If Hawk Moth believed it?”

“But he didn’t.”

“Because Ladybug called you out! Which was the reason you got akumatized in the first place so he knew! And yet all this time, you’ve been holding a grudge over it!” Marinette clenched her fists in fury. “Ladybug APOLOGIZED to you for it! TWICE! And even offered to actually be your friend and thus make ONE of your lies true! And you threw it away out of spite! You gave up a legitimate opportunity that would have worked to your benefit in favor of working with a supervillain because you can’t let go of a petty grudge!”

“I—”

“And for WHAT?” She demanded. “A bunch of lies that didn’t even matter to you!”

“How do you—“

“I mean, they clearly must not have been that important since you’ve been telling so many that you couldn’t even keep them straight! And you are willing to damn Paris and everyone in it just because ONE of them was revealed?! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Lila remained silent, simply staring at Marinette angrily and ultimately answering the question for her. Marinette on her end growled in anger, raising her hands to emphasize the point and desperately wishing for something to wring.

“Are you even angry because Ladybug was rude in how she outted you? Or are you angry that she realized you were lying at all?“

Lila looked away almost petulantly, and that was answer enough even before she spoke.

“I was hurt!”

“You were stupid! You never needed to lie about anyone! It would have been less trouble for you if you hadn’t! None of this would have even been an issue if not for you starting it all in the first place! AND FOR WHAT?” Marinette questioned. “A free lunch and to get to sit next to a guy who you made uncomfortable enough that he chose to switch seats twice just to get away from you?”

Lila gasped and glared at Marinette in outrage. Her mouth opened to spit something that would no doubt be more vitriol.

“Whoa! Am I interrupting?”

Both girls spun in surprise to see Chat Noir landing on the ground a few feet away.

“Chat Noir! Thank goodness you’re here!” Lila cried as she rushed over to him, the picture of helpless and in distress.

Marinette wanted to gag.

“Of course!” Chat replied, amping up the charm. He smiled suavely as Lila proceeded to latch onto his arm. “No akuma can keep this cat away when there’s a damsel in need.”

“Oh, I am!” Lila exclaimed, sounding tearful. “This entire day has been terrible and now an akuma is after me!”

Chat gasped at that. “That’s horrible!”

What the hell, Chat? You KNOW it’s Lila! You KNOW what she’s like!

He looked from Lila to Marinette. “I should get you both out of here then before the akuma arrives.”

Marinette hesitated. While in most circumstances it would be best to stick together, she needed to find someplace hidden to transform. Especially now that she knew her partner was active.

But before she could speak, Lila squeezed Chat’s arm.

“Oh, but wouldn’t it be faster with less people?” Lila asked innocently. “You could just carry me to safety.”

Chat raised an eyebrow at that. “But there’s three of us. I can’t just leave Marinette here.”

But Lila wasn’t deterred. She made her eyes wide and fearful as she clutched Chat’s arm in apparent fear to the point Marinette wondered if it hadn’t gone numb from lack of circulation. “I’m the one the akuma is after. The mob won’t even bother with her.”

Chat Noir looked between the two girls, still uncertain.

To add to her argument, Lila leaned in closer to Chat to whisper to him. “And I’m scared. I think she may try to hand me over the mob. You saw the way she was yelling at me, didn’t you?”

He looked back to Marinette, uncertain. “I don’t know…”

…..

Marinette sighed.

Yeah, she pretty much knew that was coming.

As much as she hated siding with Lila, this could be the only opportunity she has. It helped her own plans, but still. Dammit Lila!

"Lila's right. You need to be quick. I'll be okay on my own."

The hero frowned, not entirely convinced but seeming to accept the answer.

As if noticing his hesitation, Lila pulled on his arm to get his attention. “We should hurry before anyone else shows up!”

Chat shook himself. “Yeah. You’re right. We’d better go.”

Marinette watched as Lila settled herself in Chat’s arms, naturally not missing the opportunity to shoot the pig-tailed girl a smirk that Marinette forced herself not to react to. Chat, meanwhile, kept his gaze on Marinette.

“Civilians are getting set up at the Eiffel Tower. You should head there, too.” He told her, giving her a wink.

“Take care!” She gave a weak smile in return and waved them off. Without much further ado, Chat carried Lila away. Marinette watched them go until they could no longer be seen. Until finally…

She was alone.

She was alone and feeling oh so drained from that whole encounter. Feeling shaky, she stepped towards a wall and leaned against it for support. Shoulders slumped, she let herself slide into a sitting position on the ground.

Marinette took a breath.

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

She shouldn’t have. She was just…so angry after everything.

Lila was bad enough as is, but this whole mess on top of her usual stress-inducing antics? And Marinette having to constantly go out of her way to help her despite everything she’s done and continues to try to do?

It was everything Marinette had been wanting to say.

But...that didn’t make it right.

Tikki appeared before her holder, looking sad.

“You only said the truth.”

“I was angry and being mean.” Marinette insisted. Because when an emotion-manipulating supervillain like Hawk Moth was around, she should KNOW better than to do things that could upset people! How is it she hasn’t learned yet?

“It’s healthy to vent.”

Marinette shook her head. “I should have reined in my temper. After all, letting my anger get the best of me was what started this mess with Lila in the first place.”

“No, that was on Lila for lying about you so much.” Tikki insisted. “She lied about being your friend to everyone. She lied about knowing who you were to Adrien. And then she turned around and tried to disparage you not even seconds later just to make herself look better. You had every right to be angry then, just as you had every right to feel angry now.”

She looked at the kwami. Somehow, that was helpful and not at the same time.

It was everything she wanted to hear…and yet…

Marinette sighed.

“Thanks, Tikki.”

She wished she could believe her.

But the real Tikki would never say that.

____________________

He felt the wind through his hair as he ran through the streets. Lila’s weight in his arms was heavy but manageable. Her grip around him was not exactly pleasant, though. And he really wanted to make for the rooftops and travel his usual way, but…well…circumstances didn’t really make that advisable.

“Thank you so much! You truly are a hero.” She gushed. She was certainly trying to play it up once they were alone.

“Lila lied about saving Jagged Stone’s kitten! She lied about having tinnitus!”

It took him a bit to figure out just what the akuma was doing. Her news didn’t surprise him, since he already knew those claims were fake. So he spent more time than he should have just looking at her in confusion and trying to work out what her power was for when he met up with Ladybug.

It was admittedly faster carrying Lila. And easier to manage than trying to handle two girls at once. He only would have been able to carry one to begin with, and it would have been difficult to try and guide them both while keeping an eye out for interlopers and make sure nothing happened to either of them before they made it to the destination. Really, it was the better choice to just let him carry Lila.

But part of him was disappointed. He’d still really wanted to try and take both girls with him. Marinette especially didn’t deserve to be left behind. But if she was the one telling him to go, there was little he could do about it.

“Lila threatened Marinette in the bathroom her first day back! She tried to bring Marinette under her thumb by threatening to ruin her friendships with everyone and to make sure she could never be around Adrien!”

He hadn’t known that. It made sense though, given that Lila had gone so far as to frame Marinette and get her expelled. He should have realized there had to have been an earlier altercation for her to actively target Marinette in such a way.

But if it had been that first day Lila came back? That same day Adrien had told Marinette not to reveal her lies?

That…hurt, actually. Why hadn’t Marinette told him about it? He’d just thought Lila was wanting attention or make herself seem special. He wouldn’t have told her to just let Lila lie if he’d known she was doing things like that!

“Of course.” He reassured her as he kept his eyes on his surroundings. It wouldn’t do to be caught too soon after all.

He also kept his awareness on Lila. Couldn’t put it past her to try something, either. But the girl seemed more interested in chattering, spinning some new tale, he was sure.

“Lila has been working with Hawk Moth and trying to help him take down Ladybug and Chat Noir!”

It was the multitude of gasps resounding in the area that clued him in to what the akuma was doing. He watched in dawning realization as the expressions of those around him shifted from fear to shock and then to pure outrage.

Almost immediately, mutterings began. Followed shortly by shouts.

“That witch!”

“She needs to burn!”

“Burn the witch!” The call started, and soon was echoed throughout the area.

It hit him then.

The akuma was making people mad. She was intentionally trying to provoke people and upset them through use of a list of Lila’s crimes. And once they were outraged by one of them, they became part of the akuma’s thralls.

This…wasn’t good.

He had to get out of here!

“Where are we going?” Lila asked, drawing him out of his thoughts.

“Don’t worry!” He told her with a charming smile. “I’m taking you where you need to be.”

She nodded and seemed to curl in closer to him. Almost snuggling. “What a relief. I knew you could be counted on.”

“I do try.”

“You certainly deserve more than to be considered Ladybug’s sidekick.”

“Hmm?”

He barely paid her words any mind, instead focusing on continuing to the destination.

“Lila was the one who stole Adrien’s book in order to pass herself off as a hero to get his attention!”

“Dude!” He heard Nino cry out. “That almost got him taken out of school!”

He started at that.

Lila had?

He had thought he lost it, but it was really Lila who stole it?

No, it made sense. She brought up heroes after seeing him looking through it. She had presented the same pendant from the book and claimed to be the ‘Fox Heroine Volpina’. And when he tried to look for the book to confirm, she stopped him.

But…how did his father get the book back then? Had Lila returned it? Knowing her, WOULD she have?

No. Lila hadn’t met his father until that day Kagami was akumatized. That meant whatever she did with the book, she wasn’t the one to bring it back. Not that he would have expected her to, knowing her. That w—

NO. FOCUS.

“—and of course it’s such a shame that she doesn’t appreciate all you do for her.” Lila continued.

“Of course Ladybug appreciates me. She’s told me I’m irreplaceable.”

Lila pouted. “But she doesn’t tell you everything, does she? She doesn’t respect you. How many secrets is she keeping from you?”

He frowned, but didn’t say anything.

Adrien sprinted towards the door.

“Lila intentionally took the akuma to become Chameleon and pretended to be Adrien to insult his friends, hurt Nino’s feelings, and steal his hat!”

He stumbled.

She did WHAT?!

No wonder Nino hadn’t been able to meet his eyes when he got back!

He felt the anger over the injustice. He should have said something that day. At least let Nino know what Lila was really like. Something!

It was getting too much. He could feel the pressure and anger build. It would have been so sweet to give into it and let it out and just make her PAY—

Adrien fumbled with the door to the outside, desperate to get away and out of earshot before he heard anything else.

He wasn’t sure he would be able to take it.

“She puts you down, you know.” Lila continued. “I’ve heard her talking badly about you.”

“Really?”

She nodded, appearing sad. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you, but it’s only because I care. I just…” She pretended to wipe away a tear from her clearly dry eyes. “I just admire you so much and you deserve better than someone who keeps you at arm’s length.”

She smiled up at him, resting an arm on his bicep.

“If you ever need someone to turn to, I want you to know that you can trust me. I would support you in anything.”

And Chat…

Smiled back at her.

“Thank you, Lila. I’m glad to know I have your support.”

He made it outside and moved to close the door just as the final words rang out.

“Lila broke into the Agreste mansion to try to get an in with Gabriel and is serving as his spy in the school in an attempt to control Adrien!”

The door shut with a final thud.

Adrien stood there, hands on the door. Silent. Unmoving.

“Kid?” Plagg asked, poking his head out.

…

“I know that was rough, but you did well to keep your head.”

…

“Adrien, shouldn’t we be trying to find liar-girl and get her someplace safe?”

…

He paused, realizing there was no response.

“Adrien?”

…

Adrien turned away from the door and smiled, not really looking at his kwami.

“You’re right, Plagg. We should find Lila.”

Plagg froze.

Over the years and centuries working with various holders for a multitude of purposes, Plagg had gotten well versed in recognizing expressions. Faces said a lot, after all. And he could usually get a good reading off someone from their expressions.

Adrien’s expression in that moment? He’d seen it before.

It was that same murderous look in the eyes of every other Black Cat user he’d had when they had been pushed too far and were ready and willing to kill someone.

“Wait! Kid, hold on!”

“Plagg.”

“Adrien, think about it! You don’t want to do this!”

“Claws out.”

Lila finally seemed to take note of their surroundings. There had been no one in the streets for a while now, and the area around them had been strangely silent due to the lack of people. While she hadn’t known where exactly they were going, Chat seemed to be taking her in the direction of the Eiffel Tower. The closer they got, though, the more she could hear something in the distance.

And sure enough, as the Tower came into sight, Lila could see a rather dense crowd up ahead. Chat didn’t even react as she clutched at his arm, growing more uneasy the closer they got to the Eiffel Tower and the growing crowd.

“Chat Noir?” She drew out his name, uncertain and wary. “What’s going on?”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Chat replied with a smile that did not at all fit the ever growing atmosphere.

“I’m taking you where you need to be.”

He came to a stop at the square, keeping a firm grip on Lila so she couldn’t draw away. The crowd around them noticed their presence and parted, forming a path that led closer to the tower. And at the end stood a stack of wood and a very familiar figure.

Lila gasped.

“Hello, Lila!” Witch Hunter greeted her with an all too wide smile.

“We’re so happy you made it!”

#ml fic #witch hunter #marinette dupain cheng #tikki #lila sucks #chat noir #rose lavillant #oh no #Oh crap

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fuckingrealityshifting · 3 years

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1// hi there, before you get too far, I want to say that I am trying to say this with all the kindness in my heart, and that I do, truly care for yall, and this is why im typing this now. I stumbled across your blog via your 'shifting terms' post, and I explored the idea of shifting and the shiftblr community a bit. I read all of your sources (although I don’t really believe most of them are credible enough) ((it could just be the uni student in me tho)) and I can't help but worry for you and

2// the shifting community. As I understand, most of you are still quite young, and while I haven’t tried to shift (I have a deep paranoia of developing a psychotic disorder), I fear that this practice could affect the young minds in this community in an unprecedented way. I am /not/ saying that any of you are delusional, im not saying its fake, im not saying i dont believe you. But many of you have mentioned how shifting is a) not dangerous and b) similar to astral projecting.

3// This is where I begin to worry, in my understanding, astral projecting is VERY dangerous, so if what you are doing is similar i dont believe it is a good idea. Especially for young people. Adolescent brains are very prone to mental illness, and I fear by placing yourselves in this situation you could eventually damage your mind. I dont mean to preach or anything, i just know a lot of you are young and i think you should be aware of the dangers of what you are doing,

4// because it could affect you in the long run. But stay safe, watch over each other and i wish yall the best. (ps. im sorry this was long)

/////end of ask

Okay so I just wanted to first say it would be okay if you didn’t believe or thought I was mentally ill and stated such! An ask like this is useful because it can start an actual conversation; I have concerns besides just disbelief to go off. Astral projection, being young, etc. I thank you for that and for leaving asks.

I don’t want people to think it’s not okay to be open about not believing. I know with the whole rating stuff rather than responding to comments it might seem like that, but I’m just going to brush off what doesn’t have a purpose other than bringing people down because there’s no point in repeating myself.

If it’s clearly meant to be sarcastic or has a punchline or comment for the sake of being rude or feeling like you’re superior (“get a hobby”) then I’m just not gonna humor you. I’m not intending to shut down all concerns at all.

About the sources—yeah, I do agree, a lot of the sources aren’t very credible, I totally acknowledge that. I also acknowledge even if they were all done by very credible sources the findings wouldn’t be absolutely decisive.

That’s kind of the fault of a lack of experimentation in scientific/professional spaces regarding anything spiritual and just the nature of spirituality itself. At the end of the day it’s mainly the suggestion of the findings that are important to spiritual people looking for evidence. I’m not sure if I worded that all coherently lol

I’m gonna answer these two points in reverse

Shifting is b.) similar to astral projection

So when I say similar to astral projection, I mean mainly in the fact you are perceiving stuff outside of your body and projecting. It’s a similar concept, and a bit of a similar practice, but not entirely.

With shifting, you are projecting your consciousness, and with astral projection, you are projecting your astral self/soul.

(I haven’t researched as much into the specifics of astral projection as I have for shifting so feel free to correct me! My understanding of astral projection is that your soul/astral self projects from your body to wander the astral realm.)

I’m gonna copy and paste some stuff I said in a dm message to someone who had a similar concern.

When a person shifts, their soul remains in their body. Your consciousness/awareness of reality is what is in another universe. When a person asteral projects, their soul leaves their body and can travel different realms of the universe.

When a person astral projects, they can come across spirits, deities, and harmful entities. They can take damage to the soul. They can change their astral form. Astral projection is dangerous. It is highly recommended not to astral project without protection.

When a person shifts, they are in a normal reality and do not need protection. Protection doesn’t hurt, as it doesn’t hurt to have protection in this reality, but its not necessary. (Precautions should always be taken.)

If they die in their desired reality, their soul is fine so they just come back. There is no danger of death. Your consciousness or alternate self (“clone”) can also go about your day while you are shifted which I have never heard about for astral projection.

The differences between your spirit projecting outside of your body and your consciousness projecting into another reality is why shifting is generally regarded as safer and as needing less precaution.

shifting is a. not dangerous

Well, not inherently. But like most anything it can be used dangerously. Some of the precautions that should be taken are:

•educating yourself properly before shifting

•grounding yourself (an ungrounded shifter can have issues)

•making sure you are not depending on shifting for anything or using it as unhealthy escapism

•understanding spirituality concepts even if you’re not practicing

I have a Staying Safe While Shifting post that has been in my drafts forever because I want to finish my mental health series to link it in the post, but I’ve been procrastinating finishing the mental health series because of the ADHD and shifting topic, which I believe I have.

We do have a majority of young people on the community—middle to older teens, I think. Most adults interested in this sort of thing participate under Quantum Jumping, a term that’s been around longer, which seems more online forum based.

Overall, yes. Shifting when exposed to the wrong people can absolutely harm mental health. I think we’re seeing it on TikTok. I just don’t have the power to make sure only people who can mentally take it see it. I just have to do my best to educate people on how reality shifting works so delusions or misunderstandings are hopefully easier to spot.

I absolutely thank you for the thoughtful message and if I brought up more concerns let me know.

#shifting #shiftblr #reality shifting #spirituality #desired reality #dr #shiftblrs #cr #shifting community #shiftblr discussion #shifting disbelief #not really but just in case #unreality #long post

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mk-wizard · 3 years

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Optimus Primal: Analysis of a bot who achieved “Nirvana”

Hello. It’s been a while since I’ve done a Transformers article, so to make up for lost time, I am going to do one on a character who was not only famous for their various bodily transformations, but also their spiritual transformation. I am talking about Optimus Primal.

So to get started, what exactly is Optimus Primal besides a Maximal who shares a name and helmet style with Optimus Prime? If you’re thinking that he is the Maximal equivalent of Optimus Prime, you would be dead wrong. Despite his name and looks, Primal is a great hero by his own merit who achieved greatness through grit, hard work, self sacrifice and inner growth on his own and without standing even for a moment on the shoulders of any giant. If anything, he is the reason Optimus Prime lived to make his own legacy. To understand and appreciate all of this, one must delve deep into the life story of Optimus Primal.

In the beginning, Primal was an average ranking leader of an exploration ship called the Axalon and his mission was to observe and collect data on other planets and their life forms. He was intelligent, honourable and not above having a sense of humour. However, he can turn and be very stern. The fact that he was young and inexperienced also showed in how he would have slip ups like making bad decisions, making one too many speeches and even losing his temper. All the same, he was the type who would learn quickly from his mistakes and constantly grow. He is also a skilled fighter with guns, swords and he is shown to be a martial arts master of some kind. He also seems to be part of the air force hence having the ability to fly in robot mode.

One fateful day, he was tasked with following and apprehending Predacon Megatron who stole the golden disks. The pursuit led them to getting stranded on prehistoric Earth though at the time, neither faction was aware that this was Earth yet because it was so different from the Earth they were informed of in the history books. At first, Primal chose a gorilla as his alt mode which proved to be one of the most useful beast alt modes in the series. As the Beast Wars (though here in Canada, the series was called “Beasties” for some reason) progressed and after several encounters with some mysterious aliens who intended to destroy prehistoric Earth, Optimus Primal unintentionally sacrificed himself to save the planet, Maximals and most of the Predacons. In the aftermath, the planet was changed and everyone could now see that they were on prehistoric Earth and with time, Primal was restored to life by having his spark transferred to an transmetal body. He could still transform into a gorilla though now he could fly even in his beast mode as he now had a hoverboard similar to the Silver Surfer’s.

During the second half of the war, the series became progressively darker and Megatron’s deeds became more sinister if not homicidal as he was now not above killing his own and even going as far as attempting to kill a comatose Optimus Prime in the Ark after he discovered it. Primal also clearly lost a lot of his innocence as he became less optimistic, more tense and while his honour remained intact, his hesitance to fight with full force with gone. In order to save Optimus Prime, he temporarily held his spark into his own body though holding the spark of a Prime had side effects on his own spark and body. Primal underwent a powerful change of which he became a giant quadruple changer, his firepower was at its peak and it can be theorized that a part of Optimus Prime’s divine connection to Vector Sigma was transferred to him.

In this new powerful form and now gaining clarity on the severity of the situation, Primal was more motivated than ever to defeat Megatron and return to Cybertron so history could no longer be tampered with. And while he did succeed at defeating Megatron who also underwent his own upgrade after exposing his own spark to the spark of the Decepticon Megatron, this victory was not without a price. When the Maximals returned to Cybertron, Predacon Megatron managed to take over the planet forming a new faction of mindless drones known as Vehicons which he controlled through a cybernetic psychic link, and in the process, wiped out the memories of the Maximal team and reduced them back to their beast forms’ lowest level.

Luckily, Primal managed to gather his team and find Vector Sigma and the entity/program known as the Oracle which purified them and gave them new upgraded techorganic forms which they all retained for the entire run of the Beast Machines series. At this point, Primal was no longer a naive mech of science and had become very hardened as well as fanatical without how he believed the Oracle was guiding him towards wiping out all technological life on Cybertron which also put him at odds with Cheetour who used to look up to him. After the devastating loss of Rhinox who was reprogrammed into the evil Tankor, Primal fell into a depression which affected him on both a physical and spiritual level, but he was brought to his senses after speaking to the spirit of a now purified Rhinox and with the support of his team. He now also realised the Oracle wasn’t guiding him towards eliminating technology. It was guiding him towards finding a balance between technological and organic life. With this new mindset, Primal stayed on this spiritual path though he now handled it with a cool head and a more enlightened tone until the final face off with Megatron. In the final face off, Primal sacrificed himself by plunging himself and Megatron into Cybertron’s core allowing the entire planet itself to transform for the better into a technorganic state and also reawaken the entire population. While the heroic deed did cost Primal his life, his spark was at peace as it joined the Allspark and it is hinted that he became something even more in this state.

Since his time in the Beast Wars and Beast Machines CGI cartoons, Primal has made some appearances in the comics, several Japanese mangas and animes, and may make a debut in the final season of War for Cybertron.

Out of all of the character in the Transformers lore, I find Primal is the one who had the most growing up to do and he not only did grow up, he stepped out of a large shadow he didn’t even know he was in and became something amazing. He is also one of the few heroes who I initially didn’t like. And even now, I didn’t like the naive, long winded immature person Primal was initially as he did feel like someone who was copying Optimus Prime, but as he grew up and dropped the naivety, my feelings towards him changed (pardon the pun). By the time Beast Machines rolled around, I outright loved him and I loved his newfound spiritual Buddha like approach. He found his own identity and it was inspiring. It was also this version of Primal that convinced me to look at the Transformers as being more than just machines. Showing that they had a religion, a culture and more made me see the Transformers in a new light that stayed with me for life.

I admit he is not like Optimus Prime, but in his defense, you simply cannot compare the two to each other because they are so different and their journeys were different. Prime’s war was more political and social, and he was much older and wiser. Primal was really just a young scientist who was asked to do a job though circumstances dragged him into a battle. With time, that battle became a rebellion. And also, Prime and Primal’s personalities are just vastly different. The very point of each of them is that they are not like each other and that is something to be celebrated not scorned. Optimus Prime was the leader for the team, era and war of his time and Optimus Primal was the leader for the time, era and war of his.

My overall analysis is that I can see why people are not initially endeared by Primal as I myself was one of these fans who wasn’t, but as his life experiences mature him, you fall deeply in love with the person he becomes and I think that was the point of him. I think that the writers purposely made him to rub you the wrong way because he was so immature and I think that makes him a cleverly written character. And also relatable. I’m sure by many people’s standards, we weren’t as likeable when we were immature and had a tendency to talk too much and not listen enough. Perhaps Primal could be seen as a Transformers character who embodies a metaphor for how growing up and gaining wisdom can change a person.

With all that said, Beast Wars and Beast Machine is worth watching thanks to Primal if not for the story, to at least see the journey of Optimus Primal, but that is all my opinion. What is yours?

If you have a Transformers theory or character analysis you want explored, please let me know in my ask box. And please, support me through Patreon or Ko-fi if you want me to make Transformers merch and videos. Or if you want a commission of your favourite bot, let me know in my shop. All links are on my profile page.

Thanks for reading and as always, stay safe.

#transformers #optimus primal #primal #maximal #optimus prime #predacon #transformers beast wars #transformers beast machine #growing up #beast wars #beast machines #beasties #rhinox #vehicons #tankor #allspark #oracle #vector sigma #character analysis

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penguiduck · 4 years

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Writing Fight Scenes

I’ve had a lot of readers mention that they don’t feel comfortable with fight scenes. Well, that’s understandable. It’s challenging writing about experiences you’ve never had. But with some perspective and practice, you can most certainly work toward writing those fast-paced, heart-pounding scenes with ease.

To give you some background, I practiced competitive martial arts for six years. I competed in tournaments and trained hard to perform well in the ring. It was a contact sport, and even if I wasn’t sparring, training often left me with bruises, usually of the physical nature, sometimes of the emotional persuasion.

This experience gave me a lot of perspective when it comes to writing fight scenes.

Whenever I step into the ring, I have a flexible strategy in mind that combines what I know about myself, my opponent, and what I’m going to learn about them in the next two minutes. I’d like to share some of these thoughts and perspectives with you, and how your character may think before and during a match of their own. Of course, my fighting experience is limited to a contact sport. Your story may very well be far more violent with higher stakes, but strategies may be of similar foundation. Once you take a fight into deeper consideration, aside from the depiction of two fighters merely exchanging blows, you can begin to enrich your writing experience.

I’m including examples from Yu Yu Hakusho because that’s the fandom I write the most for, and as you know, there’s a lot of fighting involved! But remember — anime and writing are two completely different mediums. There's no one narrating everything that our beloved characters are doing on screen. You just see it. That is why you, as a writer, must paint those scenes through words for your readers.

Nevertheless, this advice really stands for any sort of writing, so do with this information what you will.

A well-written fight scene is never about just trading blows. There are other conflicts at play, whether between the fighters or even in the heads of your protagonists.

Allow me to elaborate:

1. Who is your protagonist?

Whenever I am preparing for a sparring match, the first thing I worry about is me. I must be self-aware.

I think about my own fitness. How am I doing? Do I have any existing injuries or ailments? How is my weight? My body type? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What do I have in my toolbox? What techniques do I know? What techniques am I most versed and confident in?

I also think about my overall wellness. Have I been eating well? Drinking water? Sleeping? How is my emotional state of mind? What are the stakes?

Is my uniform clean and pressed? What about my equipment? Headgear? Mouth guard? Shin guard? Did I replace that torn lace?

I recommend using these questions to bring your character’s own reflection to the forefront in whatever way makes most sense for them. How is your character’s fitness? Is she in good fighting condition? Has she been injured previously? What has happened since the last fight that might impact her state of mind?

It’s possible that she’s recovering from an illness or injury. Perhaps her mentor died a gruesome death. Maybe she’s frustrated because she lost use of her right hand, temporarily or permanently, and has had to compensate with her non-dominant hand. Or perhaps she’s lost the will to fight, having experienced something traumatic.

Hiei had to constantly think about his own state of health throughout the Dark Tournament after his fight with Zeru. His arm had been sacrificed to his Dragon of the Darkness Flame, rendered useless, and he was in terrible pain. He never let it impact him, of course, being the stoic warrior he is. His personality allows for little inner dialogue to be shared with the audience, but as a fighter, he was most certainly considering what options he had with his handicap. And, as a writer, perhaps you would like to elaborate on his thoughts for your readers.

What has your character been practicing lately? Is her weapon of choice the same? Has it been upgraded? Has she been training with a different weapon or technique? Is she perhaps nervous about using something new?

Maybe she just repaired her sword, and she’s unsure if it’s as strong as it was before. Perhaps she’s been studying a new technique, and she knows she’ll need to use it in this battle.

Remember when Kuwabara first introduced his spirit sword in Maze Castle? He was so proud of himself, and that whole battle was an introduction to his newfound technique, how he manipulated his sword, and how he was able to harness his spirit energy. It’s far more interesting to see this development and exploration than to just watch him stab at Byakko a dozen times.

My point is that while your character probably should keep her emotions out of the ring, she may not be able to. There are so many things that could be on her mind, plaguing her thoughts, especially if there’s a lot riding on this battle. I think it’s really important to not only acknowledge the physical part of fighting but the emotional toll it can take a fighter, too.

Think about the fight between Yusuke and Toguro. Toguro had just killed Genkai, and Yusuke took that very personally. This was not a simple battle of strength or wits. This was a battle of emotions, and it wasn’t until Yusuke was able to master his feelings and reach beyond that “six foot wall of crap” as Genkai so affectionately calls it that he was able to finally defeat Toguro.

And the catharsis that came from defeating Toguro? It was made all the more powerful because Yusuke went through that emotional journey. It wasnʼt just a fight — it was a calling, a purpose, and a lesson. It was painful and potent, and it made him realize just how much these experiences shaped him as a person.

2. Who is the opponent?

Before I participate in a tournament, I do my research. Who is likely to be competing? Who is in my weight class? What do I know about these competitors? If I don’t have answers, I would find them. I’d chat with my instructor, my fellow martial artists. Has anyone else from my school fought these people before? What were they like? Are there videos online of their performance?

I find as much information as possible. I make calls, send texts, take people out to lunch, scour the internet for information. Even if your character lives in a less technologically dependent world, I would imagine that he might talk with friends, look through old records, listen to gossip and hearsay. He might watch battles leading up to his own fight in an effort to learn more.

And if this pre-work isn’t possible, that’s okay. Fights in your story may be entirely unpredictable, but your character can also learn things about his opponent during the match.

When I step into the ring and ready myself to compete, one of the first things I want to find out is on which side my opponent is dominant. In other words, are they right-handed? Or left-handed? Right-footed? Or left-footed? Maybe they only focus on one side during training (which is silly, but that’s another conversation). But there could be an underlying reason why as well. Perhaps they injured themselves in the previous round or maybe they just don’t like exposing one particular side of their body for whatever reason.

This information is critical because this tells me what I need to watch out for, which side of my own body I should be guarding, how I may penetrate my opponent’s defenses. How can I catch them when they least suspect it? Where can I knock them off balance? My instructor always told me to watch the shoulders — shoulders move before the rest of the body. You can tell what your opponent is about to do by watching their shoulders.

Your character may wish to discover the same thing. Maybe his opponent uses a two-handed sword and is very clearly right-handed. This may give him some information on where his blind spot is — or maybe he just needs to disable his opponent’s right arm. The possibilities are endless, and understanding his opponent will give him leverage, offering him many options.

Understanding an opponent’s technique is also important. In martial arts, practitioners often favor a strategy or skill. This seems obvious, but it’s vital that you understand what it is — only then you can combat it.

Consider Kurama’s matches with Gama and Toya during the events of the Dark Tournament. The English dub did a wonderful job voicing Kurama’s inner conflict during these fights, struggling with first his inability to move and then his imprisoned spirit energy — if you were to put these scenes into writing, explaining his thought process would be fascinating. How does Kurama overcome these obstacles? He seeks to understand his opponents before he defeats them, which, unfortunately, also means he risks injury to himself until then.

Your character’s thoughts about the fight, interpreting for your audience what he feels he might need to do to secure victory, is just as important as detailing the fight itself.

3. What about the writing?

The writing will come once you begin to dissect your characters and their motivations for fighting. Your characters aren’t one-dimensional, or, at least, they shouldn’t be!

Your fight scenes shouldn’t be, either. It’s not about two fighters trading blows. It’s about an artfully curated dance. Two opponents are engaged in a craft that they both know well, and whether they’re fighting to win a tournament or for their very lives, they have reasons and complex thought processes that should make their fight interesting.

There are two players here, and unless the fight is grossly one-sided, they’re both thinking and acting independently of one another. My advice is to thread their actions and consequences together — weave the fight scene as if it’s a stream of conscious thought, separated into paragraphs, each with a shift in perspective, for clarity.

Instead of writing:

Yusuke charged at Kuwabara and punched him in the face. Kuwabara punched him in the mouth. Yusuke then kicked him in the stomach.

Try this:

Yusuke had little patience for Kuwabara’s bad jokes, and he rushed toward him, landing a blow square in the side of his head.

Kuwabara flew backward with a grunt, stabilizing himself before launching himself at Yusuke, returning the favor. His fist collided with Yusuke’s jaw, a blow hard enough to knock the teeth out of any regular human.

Yusuke expected him to retaliate, and although he was nearly knocked off balance, he swung his leg around, making full contact with Kuwabara’s stomach.

You may also find it useful to deviate from the fighting itself. You can speak to a character’s inner dialogue or thoughts, whether about the fight or something else. You may choose to have them begin a brief conversation. Or you may describe what other characters are feeling about the fight as onlookers.

There are many ways to make these fight scenes seamless and interesting — take some time to explore your options!

Just a few more general tips that might help:

If you’re going to use a thesaurus, be mindful about it. I use a thesaurus when I write because I suffer all day, every day from tip-the-tongue syndrome. But words, even if they generally fit the same definition, can have vastly different connotations, so before selecting a word from the thesaurus, do some digging. Look at the exact definition and perhaps Google some common usage. Punch, slap, and stroke do not mean the same thing, even if a thesaurus might say otherwise.

Read your writing out loud. If you’re unsure, this is the best way to understand your cadence, the flow of the battle. Use your best Morgan Freeman or Jorge the Ogre voice.

Consider a beta reader. Sometimes having a second opinion is immensely helpful.

Remember that there are no strict writing rules. You write whatever your heart desires in whatever manner your heart desires. Experiment and explore with different styles and techniques to find whatever works for you.

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rachelbethhines · 4 years

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TTS Songs Ranked Worst to Best

Someone asked me to rank my fav and least fav TTS songs a while back, but I’ve since then relistened to the soundtrack and there’s a whole bunch of songs that just forgot about, so here’s a more accurate ranking now that the songs are more fresh in my mind

32 . Life After Happily Ever After (Reprise)

This song is infuriating, because the finale is infuriating. Listening to this song just makes me angry all over again because it reminds me just how unsatisfying the ending to TTS was. I wanted to turn it off at several points. I barely can get through it despite it being so short. It doesn’t help that the soundtrack leaves all the dialogue in there and fails to actually end the song. It just cuts off before the final note.

31. Hook Foot’s Ballad

Does this even count as a song? Why is it here on the soundtrack but not the Hurt Incantation? Did Menken really waste his talent writing a joke and did the showrunners really waste money and limited resources on this?

30. Friendship Song

Bland, boring, and pointless. It was clearly written as a marketing stunt for the radio disney charts and not as anything to do with the plot of the series. They just throw it up on screen to fill out the running time and don't even let the whole song play through. It’s pitiful.

29. Waiting in the Wings (Reprise)

I didn’t think much of the original song one way or the other, but the reprise is soooo dumb. The plot twist it introduces winds up ruining the whole show and sabotaging both Cassandra’s and Rapunzel’s characters. It’s not even a nice sounding song on it’s own. The kid’s voice is irritating (who I’m sure is doing her best, but really little kids shouldn’t be made to sing professionally as a general rule) and the melody just as bland as the first time it was played. The only reason to like this song is if you’r a mega fan of Cassandra’s or her VA, which I am not. (Note: this is not a criticism of Eden Espinosa, I just don’t happen to follow any of the VAs in this show)

28. Through It All

I like the instrumentals in this song, and that’s about it. Everything about this song is wrong. It doesn’t fit the story, it’s a misuse of the cast and songwriters, it’s a waste of valuable screen time, the melody is dull, and the dang soundtrack had to throw in that lame dialogue about ‘greatest threat ever’ at the beginning. If you want a pump up song in your story then you got to earn it. You can’t just tell us things are bad, you got to show it. A joyful horseback ride and everyone sitting in a bar safe and sound isn’t threatening or depressing enough to warrant a cheering up session. Plus the song itself doesn’t add anything to the overall story.

27. The Girl Who Has Everything

Sometimes I think the writers were willing trying to sabotage themselves. It’s as if they were determined to make the only two main female characters in the show unlikeable bitches in season three. Don’t believe me? The creator Chris has said this song only exists to highlight how much easier Rapunzel has things than Cass and went onto say that Rapunzel was in the wrong during their conflict because ‘she held Cassandra back’. (Oh yeah she totally ‘held back’ the grown woman who left on her own accord, returned on her own accord, and then assaulted and tried to murder a bunch of people for no reason of her own accord.) But this song does succeed in furthering season’s three narrative that Rapunzel is a spoiled selfish brat. Shame the story fails to address this setup and never has Rapunzel learn to be a better person. Rather the narrative bends over backward to tell us how special Rapunzel is without any sense of self awareness and this song falls into that same trap; making it both irritating and pointless.

26. Listen Up

Yeah, I talked about this on my salt marathon, but I just don't like this song very much. The melody is fine but the lyrics are a real miss in my mind. It doesn’t help matters that the song is indeed pointless in the grand scheme of things.

25. Livin’ the Dream

This is much on the same level as Listen Up as it features the same problems. It doesn’t add to the narrative and the lyrics kind of let it down. I placed it higher just because I like the melody a little more.

24. More of Me

This song is a lot like the Friendship Song in that it was created to be an end credit song for the pop charts and you’d be forgiven in forgetting it even exists. However, it at least got to actually play all the way through. I think this song was a real missed opportunity. I honestly believe that it should have been the opening theme song of the show instead of Wind in My Hair. It’s more built to serve such a purpose and it’s a waste of resources not to actually use it. Alternatively, I would have accepted it being reworked into the actual series as a character song. Especially since we’re missing a song in season three due to budget cuts.

23. Wind In My Hair

Speaking of theme songs, I think I would like Wind In My Hair a lot better if i didn’t have to listen to it every episode. On its own it actually has a lot of things going for it; a nice melody, interesting instrumentals, good singing, ect. Unfortunately it’s just over exposed, and none of those elements lend themselves naturally to an intro song for a tv show. In fact the theme song feels really out of place and is edited oddly to fit the shorter intro.

22. Wind In My Hair (Reprise)

Honestly the theme song is mostly comprised of this reprise, but it has the opening instrumentals from the OG song frankensteined onto it. This means that the version that plays before every episode is on fullblast all the time to keep the energy up, but that’s not how the song is suppose to go. The actual reprise that plays in the pilot builds to a crescendo, starting soft and melancolony and getting louder and more hopeful and determined. It sounds a lot better in full because of that. It’s still too overexposed though. Both these songs would probably be higher on the list of not for the theme song version.

21. With You by My Side

This song is fine. It’s nothing special, but it’s not bad either. What knocks it down the list is the fact that Lance isn’t in it, despite Lance being right there. Like don't bother hiring a famous Broadway singer if you’re not going to have him sing! But that speaks more to the poor writing of season two than anything else. This song also doesn’t really add anything to the narrative as, contrary to what the writers intended, it doesn’t actually enhance the emotional impact of Cassandra’s betrayal later in the episode. The song itself is just tacked on and doesn’t take the opportunity to lay down any foreshadowing for that plot point.

20. Next Stop Anywhere

Another perfectly serviable song. It’s not bad but nothing outstanding. It gets the job done. It’s also really ho-hum and the soundtrack keeps all the unneeded dialogue, which is a pet peeve of mine.

19. Waiting In the Wings

Despite it’s hype, I never thought much of Waiting in the Wings. It’s got nice instrumentals and Eden Espinosa gives it her all in the singing department. The problem is it’s too generic. It’s a bare bones basic ass ‘I want song’. Cassandra's movations are weak and unsupported by the narrative, the melody is boring, and it honestly doesn’t add anything to her story. I mean it should, it’s her character solo, but because she’s written so poorly the song just winds up undermining the character in the end. All I’m saying is that, this is not the song from season two that I would have nominated for the Emmys. But it’s still Alan Menken, it’s still nicely performed, and given the rest of the competition for that year, it did deserve to win.

18. If I Could Take That Moment Back

This song is also pretty generic, but it’s less boring than I See the Light, (yeah, I said it, I See the Light is boring) so that’s a win in my book. Ergo this holds the title of the only New Dream duet that I enjoy. But there’s better stuff on this list.

17. Next Stop Anywhere (Reprise)

Well no, I take that back. The reprise of Next Stop Anywhere is also technically a New Dream duet. It’s still not anything amazing, but it works for what it is. Plus, Adria’s opening dialogue in the soundtrack version doesn’t bother me quite as much as some of the other dialogues choices that were kept in.

16. Stronger Than Ever Before

I really enjoyed this song in the moment. It’s catchy and fun, and it finally has Lance doing something rather than ignoring his existence. However it is borderline unnecessary in terms of story placement, and I’m slightly mad at it now that I know that we could have gotten a Rapunzel and Varian duet but it was scrapped for this instead.

15. Crossing the Line

Keeping with the theme of ‘songs I have conflicting emotions about’, we have Crossing the Line. This song is confused. It starts and stops, the melody isn’t clear, the orchestration is playing tug of war with the singers for dominance, and it’s basically Alan Menken and the show’s creators ripping off Frozen. (I guess he’s kicking himself for leaving that particular project?) But it’s interesting. I never heard anything quite like it. It’s memorable even if it doesn’t fully work. It’s got these interesting bits and pieces to it that just never quite comes together as a whole. Some of the lyrics are some of the best Glenn Slater has ever wrote and is far better than the story actually surrounding the song. Yet there’s other lines that are total cringe. Sometimes the song is bold and catchy and gets you all hyped up, and then other times its limp and staggering and feels so awkward to listen to. Yet it’s not boring or generic and so I have to place it higher than the rest of the songs that’s come before. (Also, there’s some amazing orchestral covers out there that really pulls together the various parts really well, just fyi)

14. Nothing Left to Lose

I really don't like this song. I’ve been one of its biggest critics ever since it was leaked by the marketing team earlier this year. And yet... I can’t in good conscience place any lower on this list. All of the problems I have with it are the exact same problems I have with Crossing the Line. It’s confused, the various pieces don't line up, the instrumentals are competing with the vocals, the song’s progression is weird with it’s constant key changes, some of the lyrics are good while others are absolute shit, ect and so forth. It also actively works against the story it's trying to tell. The song wants you to sympathize with Cassandra, but her lines are as shallow as a puddle and makes her look like a sociopath. Especially when she’s physically attacking Varian through out for no reason. Also neither character learns anything from the exchange and it fails to impact the story. By all accounts this is a bad song. But I’m Varian trash. There I said it. You happy? Varian’s parts in the songs are fine, good even, and the song is anything but bland. I would rather listen to a mess then be bored to tears by a competent yet standard four chord pop song.

13. I’d Give Anything

This song is nice to listen to. Story wise it absolutely sucks and shouldn’t have been in the finale at all. But it sounds pleasant. This is one of those songs that could pop up randomly on the radio and I would just think it it a nice sad break up song. I can’t say that about some of the other misplaced songs in the show. This one however, you can very much, absolutely divorce this song from the narrative and it would be fine. Now that’s not good writing, and it’s very much a waste of limited resources, but I’m rating the music here first and story second.

12. Buddy Song

The Buddy Song also absolutely did not need to exist but it also sounds nice. Plus, it makes use of Lance so I’m a little more lenient towards it. I can’t however place it higher since it really is just Alan Menken ripping off Alan Menken. Like, I would not be at all surprised to find out that this was originally a deleted song for Aladdin or something.

11. Bigger Than That

What can I say, Lance just gets good songs. When the show bothers to give them to him. Unfortunately, it’s not the best placed. It kind of interrupts the more important drama of Be Very Afraid, and probably should have been saved for a later episode. Especially since it hinges on a plot point that is contradictory to Lance’s character. We should have gotten a Varian and Rapunzel duet here and given Lance his own episode in the second half of season three. This song could have easily been refitted into being a bonding moment for him and the girls. That would also have filled out the season’s original songs to the usual eight instead of only seven.

10. Life After Happily Ever After

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. The top ten. The best of the best. This song makes the cut for three reasons. 1. It lyrically and musically interesting 2. It does the job of furthering the story and the characters and 3. Eugene’s part is so damn good. Like this song could have easily fell down into the ranks of ‘fine but generic’ if it wasn’t for the bridge with Eugene. That puts it over the top and to my mind makes it better than anything from the OG film. (well almost anything, Mother Knows Best is still great) This is the barometer by which I measure all of the music in the series. Is it better or worse than Life After Happily Ever After? Because this is the level that I equate good musicals with. What keeps on the tenth spot and not higher is the dialogue that still left on the soundtrack and the lack of a Cassandra introduction. That and also the rest of the songs are just flat better.

9. Hurt Incantation

Hurt, Decay, Reverse, whatever you want to call it, this was such a cool fucking concept. One that was utterly wasted by the show. I place this so high because it just sounds awesome! It looks good too, and it offered up so many possibilities from a story perspective. What lets it down is the lack of follow up for it and it’s too short. There’s needed to be another verse. It also should have been on the actual soundtrack instead of Hook Foot’s Ballad. (The Heal Incantation also was sung in What the Hair, but I’m not counting it since it was written for the film)

8. The Girl Who Has Everything (Reprise)

I hate the initial song and the set up that it took to get here, but I love this reprise. It’s perfect. This is what the story needed more of. Rapunzel taking her life into her hands, and her proposing to Eugene would have been the perfect capstone for her arc. In fact I’m angry we didn’t actually get that. There’s absolutely no reason why Rapunzel couldn’t have done so and we could have had her and Eugene engaged during the second half of season three. How much better would have it been if Cassandra threatened their wedding plans and that’s why they couldn’t go through with it until after the series ended? So much more tension that way.

7. I Got This

This is a really good song that actually futhers the characters and the narrative. Moreover it’s refreshing to see the heroine not be perfect and to fail sometimes due to her own inadequacies. It’s just a shame that the series didn’t follow through with this set up, but I appreciate the attempt all the same.

6. Set Yourself Free

This is the only song in the series that’s an actual satisfying pay off for anything. Music wise it’s nothing too special, but in terms of context it just works. We were sorely deprived of such resolutions and songs with actual meaning in the show.

5. View From Up Here

This song is too good for the episode it actually appears in. We needed something like this back in season one to introduce Cassandra with. It also sadly doesn’t fit with the wider narrative after season three. However I shall still appreciate it as a ‘what might have been’ type song.

4. Let Me Make You Proud

The only reason why this song isn’t higher is just overexposure and I’ve no one to blame but myself for that. I’ve listened to this song way too many times. As such it tends to alternate between this, View from Up Here, and the next song on the list. But make no mistake it is glorious. Fantastic instrumentals, set up, and of course amazing vocals.

3. Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

Yes, I know this plot point didn’t lead anywhere, but it works for this song at least. Also Eugene’s VA is a really underrated singer. He sounds nice and he emotes really well. Though I’ll be honest, this jumped up to third place because it was fresh in my mind after listening to the soundtrack before making this list. I’ve always liked the song and I do rate it highly, but it can change places with Let Me Make You Proud and View from Up Here at anytime depending on my mood.

2. Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise)

This song is heartbreaking! Story wise it probably shouldn’t exist because it gives away the twist too soon, but who cares, it’s awesome! Varian’s arc is the most compelling in the show and the only thing that saves TTS from falling into mediocre obscurity; and it’s songs like this that help make the arc stand out even more than it already does.

1. Ready As I’ll Ever Be

I said it before and I’ll say it again; Ready As I’ll Ever Be is the greatest thing Alan Menken has ever written in his entire career! If you know anything about the multiple award winning songwriter then you know that is no faint praise and I do not dole it out lightly. This song is the reason why this show even has a fanbase. People are still getting into the series because of this song. And no matter how many times you listen to it just rocks! It’s complex, layered, moody, and with a fantastic beat and energy. The performances are wonderful and the instrumentation glorious. It belongs in the hollows of Disney’s greatest hits and not regulated to a spin-off tv show that failed to make its money back. I weep for the lost potential that this song and this show had. It hurts to know that so many people will never see this flash of brilliance that has come out of the House of Mouse, will never know the wonderfulness that is Varian. Ah, ‘c'est la vie’, I suppose. Tangled the Series got what it deserved, but it's crew did not. While I can not in all honesty recommend the series in full; I do sincerely urge any Disney fan to check out the songs at the very least. Especially this one. And that’s it. There’s my official ranking of all the songs, and I hope those of you read my Tangled reviews appreciate the hours it took into making this.

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #varian #rapunzel #eugene #cassandra #lance #alan menken #Disney #disney music #disney songs

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deviljho · 3 years

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hs on main but

i’ve been thinking a lot about post retcon vriska and the simply epic vriska vs (vriska) confrontation...

i think that before i actually reread the comic last year, my takeaway of it from hussie’s commentary in the books and just general fan analysis online was that it’s vriska showing her whole ass re: her deep seated self loathing & inability to self actualize and move past her trauma. which is actually a defining aspect of her personality (bc as much as she likes to pretend this isn’t the case it dictates so much of what she does) lmao. in the face of a version of herself, in this case, (vriska), who has done some of the work to unpack her issues and is “happy”, vriska goes sicko mode and vents that frustration on her dead alternate self. but i think it goes even deeper than that and i can’t stop thinking about it so allow me to go off for a bit:

first off i think it’s crazy to claim (vriska) is happy or working past her childhood issues...she’s become more aware of them, sure, which lets be real is HUGE for any vriska lol but her existence as a ghost forces her to experience an inertia which prevents her from actually taking that awareness and doing anything with it. this is especially highlighted in her relationship with meenah, who is too much of a self absorbed enabler to really help her. having given up on their heroic cause, they start dating because, it’s something to do. but it becomes completely stagnant, just like (vriska) herself, because there’s literally nothing there for (vriska) to bounce off of. vriska needs more than just someone to let her talk, and feel heard to grow and change as a person imo, but i do think being given the specific environment to do so obviously has changed her, just not necessarily for “the better”.

contrast this with retcon vriska, who is for all intents and purposes now the “real” vriska (and indeed, vriska herself clings to this idea). brought back from her death by terezi for a variety of reasons, mainly that terezi personally regrets killing her and is in love with her LOL but setting aside my vrisrezi agenda for a moment, terezi’s successful use of her seer of mind powers confirms in-story that bringing her back has strategic merit, and from a meta standpoint, narratively i felt like it really worked to reveal that vriska’s presence was needed to keep the meteor crew from falling apart, not to mention her psychic powers playing an important role in protecting the whole team from jade being possessed. i know some people dislike the retcon, but i love it for this simply epic twist tbh.

anyways...this retcon vriska is someone who canonically obsessed over their plan to defeat lord english for three years and had planned it all out to the last detail, she’s clearly taken the reigns on directing the team overall, and talks multiple times about “not having time for relationships” with the exception of being moirails with terezi which lets be real, is a hard friendzoning of their messy, quadrants-transcending relationship but again i digress...

vriska was brought back with a purpose, To Be The Hero That The Story Needs, and she’s more fixated than ever with completing this task, probably because in the epic story that she larps being a part of in her mind, successfully completing this mission is to empirically prove that she was worth bringing back, despite all the harm she’s done (and pretends not to feel badly about). vriska also desperately wants her suffering to MEAN something. we see this in her pesterlogs with john before she’s about to fight jack noir; she passes off having her lusus as a task “only really strong” children are given. i think this is why seeing (vriska) enrages her; she’s being confronted with the version of herself who she perceived as making the selfish choice to fight jack, who “deserved” to die for doing so, and on top of all that this (vriska) is now just sitting around in paradox spacing doing nothing and proving nothing to anyone?? i think it honestly has a lot less to do with (vriska) and a lot more to do with vriska obsessively reassuring herself that she’s doing the right thing, that she HAS to go through with sacrificing herself in a big epic moment for the good of everyone else because anything short of that means she’s failed at redeeming herself. vriska cannot accept that there is a version of herself who is okay with just “existing”, without deriving meaning and purpose from the abuse she suffered as a child and inflicted on her friends and countless innocent bystanders.

it’s markedly different from, for example, jade’s confrontation with her dead dream self which really is her being forced to look back on a younger version of herself who is (obviously) less experienced and or/traumatized. and i think it’s different from dave & davesprite’s interactions too, the small amount of them we get to see beyond like, ironic jokes. but imo this is bc jade and dave are markedly different from vriska. dave openly rejects the notion of glory and heroism, and avoids it whenever possible. jade is continuously forced to suffer for the sake of the timeline and the narrative, but is shown passively accepting this as simply things that “needed to happen”. personally imo in jade’s case i wanna chalk that up to bad writing on hussie’s part; it kind of sucks that jade never gets to unpack that in homestuck proper.

anyways. tbh the existence of both of those dead alternate selves imo further proves my theory that (vriska) is far from happy; the experience of being a dead alternate self is obviously extremely unsettling and depersonalizing. vriska is terrified of dying; her entire childhood was defined by this terror in a lot of ways and by the end of the session she’s died multiple times, pretty gruesomely. i think her hysterical woman(tm) rant is way more about psyching herself up and her own fears of failure than it is about seeing a supposedly “happy” version of herself. i don’t even think vriska can conceive of such a thing for herself; she has no sense of normalcy or purpose after the session to return to the way john, or like, kanaya has.

also interesting to note here is meenah as a foil for both of them; immediately after this fight meenah ditches (vriska) to join up with vriska after admitting (with some regret) that she’s a bad person. meenah doesn’t struggle at all with the self image issues vriska has, and though she may feel some guilt over ditching (vriska) just like she expressed guilt to john about becoming the condescence in a different timeline because it meant that she would probably end up killing all her friends back when (vriska) was first trying to rally up a ghost army, she ultimately acts in her self interest and doesn’t really lose sleep over it. in fact she will readily admit that she’s being an asshole and still do whatever she wants. contrast this with all of vriska’s grandstanding about not caring that she comes off as annoying and overbearing, and her overcompensation for that in the form of confidently insisting that the others “need” her.

my final comment is that,...coming back to the vrisrezi of it all, it’s obvious from terezi’s final pesterlogs to vriska before [s] terezi: remem8er that there was a ton of stuff left unsaid between them and presumably between vriska and the rest of the meteor crew as well because vriska spent 90% of the time bossing them around, either about their plans for the new session or just in general in what i like to think of as her loving nagging scorpio way lol. terezi clearly feels like she’s alone in “needing” vriska because even their relationship post retcon is strained, and vriska is so wrapped up in making plans and making sure she gets it right this time, and is already planning to die again out in paradox space. and then after all of this, her fate after her big epic moment is left offscreen for us to wonder about. which in and of itself is pretty narratively tragic for a character like vriska. it makes me honestly wonder how much of this they’re going to unpack in hs2 because tbh it’s pretty juicy. i would love to see a huge confrontation between terezi and vriska about vriska’s choices post retcon...and just in general what life post-session would look like for a person like her. through the epilogues and hs^2 we’ve seen what “normal” life has been like for terezi, and she obviously can’t let go of the past (or vriska. AUGH)...so who’s to say what’s in store for them? i wish we lived in a world where we would eventually find out, and we could see them continue to be each other’s foils in unpacking that but i don’t know if i have faith that the writers will explore it in a satisfying way lmao.

anyways that’s all i have, thanks for reading this if you did read it. i love vriska

#vriska meta #thats all this is really....i have more hs thoughts since i finished rereading it in november but tbh this is the condensed core of them #the vriska of it all...#homestuck meta

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